#Kid Pirates induction

[diioonysus]

my favorite historical facts

mayans believed that having crossed-eyes meant you were favored by the sun god kinich ahau, who was cross-eyed as well. in hopes that children would be, they would have objects dangled between their eyes to permanently cross their eyes.

ancient rome had a 4-story shopping mall with 150 shops and offices which was made in 113 AD

ancient egyptians invented toothpaste, they made it with rock salt, pepper, mint, and dried iris flowers

until recently (20th century) bones and mummies were used in traditional medicine, as some believed they could cure ailements by ingesting related body parts.

left-handed people were considered unlucky in ancient rome

lots of medieval barbers were also dentists and surgeons, which is why barbershops use red and white stripes because the stripes represent bandages used during bloodletting.

in medieval germany, married couples could legally settle their disputes by fighting a martial duel.

married women were not allowed to watch the ancient olympics, under penatly of death, but the vestal virigins in ancient rome were allowed to in some circumstances because their sacred building was knocked down to make a stadium

ancient greeks invented the first alarm clock in a system where pebbles would be dropped onto a gong and this would then make a loud sound

if a pirate ship approached flying a red flag with a hourglass on it then the defenders knew they were in some shit as red meant "give no quarter" and the hourglass meant essentially your time on earth was about to run out

shakespeare originated the "yo momma" joke, as in his one play titus androcius, a character says "thou has undone our mother," to which another character says "villain, i have done thy mother."

before abraham lincoln became a politician, he was a champion wrestler with more than 300 bouts under his belt, and only lost one match in his career. he was inducted into the national wrestling hall of fame in 1992

the gauls when trying to sack rome, caedicius had to get approval from the senate on the besieged capitoline. a messenger snuck through the gallic camp and scaled the unguarded cliff side of the hill to deliver the message. It was quickly decided to restore camillus to his command and to give him dictatorial powers and then the messenger snuck his way out again. the senone scouts discovered the messenger’s footprints and figured out that there was a way to scale the cliffs. they choose a night with a full moon and sent their bravest warriors up the cliff. none of the romans noticed, but the geese did. they started honking loudly and woke up the sleeping romans, the romans than pushed the gauls off the hill, and due to this fight the gauls suffered food shortages and diseases, so geese saved the day.

a pig was executed in 1386 after attacking a kid who would die from their wounds. the pig was arrested, kept in prison, and then sent to the court where it stood trial for murder, eventually being found guilty and then executed by hanging.

forks used to be considered blasphemous. when forks arrived in 11th century italy, it alarmed religious leaders because eating with artifical hands offended god.

the bluetooth design and name was named after the viking king harald bluetooth, based on an analogy that the technology would unite devices the way harald bluetooth united the tribes of denmark into a single kingdom. his intials in runes is the design of the logo

throwing an apple at somebody in ancient greece was considered flirting because the apple was sacred to aphrodite, so throwing it was declaring ones love

king george v of england was euthanized as his staff wanted his death to make the morning papers rather than the evenings ones, so they put him to death early without his consent

robert liston, a surgeon preformed an operation with a 300% mortality rate; he killed the patient and two other people

[cryingpariah]

Gryphon initially feeling a little unsure about opening up to Dragon. Of course Gabriel loves him and the feeling is very much mutual. But Gabe is like a golden retriever in crocodile's clothing, he loves just about everybody. And what if Dragon only cares about Gabriel because he's a clone of Crocodile? Dragon didn't have any prior connection to Mihawk or Buggy, so why would he give the time of day to some random kids like him or Nemo?

Cue Sabo, who's a little over a decade shy of the anniversary when Dragon snapped him up with zero knowledge of his prior connection to Luffy, laughing his ass off as he ruffles Gryphon's hair and assures him he has nothing to worry about.

And wouldn't you know it, he's right.

A couple of hours later Dragon comes to check in on the boys to find them with multiple whiteboards, an array of different colored strings and photos of the Monkey D Family and all the people they’ve adopted in. Including but not limited to orangette small time bandits, curly haired former admirals and sons of the former pirate king.

Dragon blinked, yup the boards were still there.

“I’m a little afraid to ask but, what is all this?”

Gryphon turned, his golden eyes unblinking as he spoke.

“We're establishing a timeline.”

The chief of staff nodded emphatically “He was interested in the family but I couldn’t answer all his questions.”

“Yes, hence our construction of the timeline.”

Dragon nodded in turn.

“Impressive, not entirely sure where you got these photos from, but impressive nonetheless.”

Gryphon puffed out his chest slightly, all those hours of completely legal public record searching were certainly worth it.

Dragon walked to the leftmost board, detailing Sabo's induction into the ménage, his hand trailing off the empty space left over.

“Saving this spot I presume? If you, Gabriel and Nemo are planning on taking photos soon, I’d like to volunteer my services as cameraman.”

Gryphon blinked, light but pleasant shock all over his face before turning to Sabo

“..I suppose you were right after all.”

“Heh, don’t go doubting your cool uncle Sabo!”

[gravitytrips]

Bet y’all didn’t know I’m a band kid

I also bet you didn’t know we did Little Shop of Horrors for our marching show last year

and The Beatles this year

and we’re doing Pirates of the Caribbean next year

we have like, 30 people in our band

A long awaited freshman (trombone) is arriving next year and I can’t wait to sacrifice I mean induct him into the band

[saturninemartial]

I've been really in my feels over my One Piece future hcs 🥺

So the Straw Hats keep kicking around the seas with Loof as Pirate King, although they do take little breaks/vacations, taking turns around various "home islands" of the crew members (if they have one they consider home). And they eventually have a "home camp" together on Dawn Island, basically taking over an existing small town, but in a way that benefits the local residents—Sanji runs a small "pay what you can" restaurant so everyone can eat but more generous customers can pay more berry if they're touched by the service provided; and ofc the whole island is under protection of the crew. They still go out on excursions; but as everyone gets older, and more children are added to the Straw Hat family, they spend a bit more time on land.

Kaya, a doctor now, has been inducted into the Straw Hat family, providing her services to take some of the pressure off Law and Chopper (she has really good bedside manner, so many women and children like going to her). Because of the poison she'd been ingesting years prior, it did some damage to her body, so she's been having a hard time conceiving a child of her own, which is heartbreaking to both her and Usopp; but they still enjoy being auntie and uncle.

Loof gets to be a dad, and tries to be better than his own dad or grandpa, so he focuses on that for a bit with Law (their kids were definitely rescued from somewhere, like zosan's kid). So with them busy, and with Usopp and Kaya still childless, Usopp finally becomes a captain of his own, forming a crew made up of some Straw Hats, Hearts, Dawn Islanders, older Straw Hat and Heart kids...and their ship's doctor will be Kaya, who gets to create her own pirating stories! 🥺

[thetobiroppofan]

one piece rant #1: the gay evil pronoun

im nervous to start this off cause what if some random incel comes in saying "erm snort actually this is wrong" like go kiss my ass basement dweller I am a 15 year old trans boy do not fw me yu dcikhead :(

anyways I wanna talk abt doflamingo today

Doflamingo's honestly a great villain, in my opinion. This is WAYY different than like.. a great person. He serves as a good driving force for the plot and I think he like is honestly kinda well-written. I mean, the guy's morals and stuff are downright despicable as expected of a villain. I don't know how to add gifs I forogt

ok so I figured it out woohoo anyways

Starting off, his backstory is honestly fuckin' sad as hell understandably, I mean obviously he's still a dickhead I mean like one of the first panels of him going down there was "where are the slaves lets buy some"

little ugly fuck........... anyways

Quick explanation for anyone reading who a. doesn't know his backstory or b. just wants to read; Doflamingo's family was originally celestial dragons (a whole society 'above' the rest of civilization, generally they're hated by the public but their word goes above anyone elses, even the Marines at times, so people have to keep their shit together) but his father decided to move down to the real world as regular nobles.

yeah so that was a bad idea.

his family was borderline fuckin JUMPED over their former status as world nobles, and were forced into poverty, his mom died, and yada yada he shot and killed his own dad and joined the pirate life. I'm just rereading one piece again after a 2 month break, on alabasta, so details might be off do NOT take my word for granted chat

but like you get the gist, former noble goes down to civilization, is tortured, gets inducted into the pirate life, etc

the reason he was inducted was through trebol, since he saw young doffy and went "yeah that kids got potential" and not in the drake way

Trebol's the guy on the left, the uglier one

yeah so basically over the course of dressrosa (The arc where doflamingos the main villain), we learn more tidbits about his actions like how he took the head of his father back up to the home of the world nobles and asked to rejoin the celestial dragons (he was obviously rejected) and ykw I forgot to mention: doflamingo has a BROTHER. his name is Rosinante, and he's a great guy but he ends up working for doflamingo (spoiler alert: he's not actually there to be a good brother he is a spy) but over the course of the backstory, Doflamingo's newest member, a young Trafalgar d. water law

yeah he's lowk ugly as a kid but it doesn't change much when he grows up

side note: I love how ugly some op kids are like its just funny anyways this isn't abt law that's a whole other rant

anyways so law joins the donquixote pirates (Doflamingo named it after his last name, donquixote) and I'll talk more abt law's stuff later in another rant along with Rosinante (doflamingos brother) however all you need to know ATM in this rant is 1. Rosinante and Law leave to find a cure for laws disease+rosi discovered law has 'The Will of D.' (I'll need to explain that later wont I) 2. Rosinante already ate a devil fruit and if u weren't aware already u cant eat two dfs or else you DIE

happy father son bonding moment

oh btw

During their time out, Rosinante and Law get a call from doflamingo telling them to come back so Rosinante can eat this devil fruit doffy planned to steal called the ope-ope no mi (remember what I told u sister.) so he can cure law

yeah so

since rosinantes a marine he stops that, and hides law in a chest after forcefeeding him the devil fruit and skipskip andddd oh no

OH FUCK!!!!!!!!! ROSINANTE DIED.

oh btw you see the unshaded bright white chest RIGHT behind him

you'll never guess who's hiding there.

tragedy strikes.

but this ain't abt two tragic found family LOSERS (i don't mean this I love them both guys please I have a law Funko and plush I'm a mother) this is abt evil incarnate right here in a bright pink feathery coat and fuckass glasses

anywyas law goes on the run finds his crew this ain't abt him we're focusing back on doffy

so like skipping allat stuff we are now in the time when doflamingo says "fuck it" and decides oh yeah lets take over

an entire kingdom

thats what normal pirates do anyways.

So using his devil fruit the Ito Ito No Mi (which allows him to manipulate strings, allowing him to be like spiderman and also be a puppeteer which btw that reflects his char so much like gyattdamn!) he demands a beri sum of like 10 billion for this king to have his nation left alone before he like takes over him, puppeteering him to slaughter his own people before coming to the rescue yadadyadyaydyaydyaydaydysyay8dy8

so yeah

he takes over dressrosa, actingg as a 'hero' and he and his crew rule over the kingdom now

I don't think I've talked abt sugar yet but she can turn people into toys and form contracts, and that's what she basicallyy did with people who either a. doflamingo didn't like or b. spoke out against the pink feathered fuck

thats part 1 for now mainly just a backstory dump

i am insane

thanks for reading chat this has been a Quinn tm rant

[bread-roses-and-chrome]

The Ballad of Riley Coleman (3)

It was sunset in this little town we were staying at. I've forgotten its name. I was just staring out at the sky and the coming stars from a second-story, run-down apartment block. One I'd rented with my own cash. Barely. No-one bothered to buy it. It was a place infamous for its cholera outbreaks. The house next to us didn't have a roof; the landlords left it for the homeless, because a shell had brought down the third floor. In America. In the late twenty-first century. I remember they called it "Humanity's Last Century on Earth". Then again, people tended to be a little more coy with the nihilism, after some insane Apotheotic vampires tried to nuke North Korea. I don't know the details. This girl I was staying with, a drinking buddy I'd down vodka and moonshine to a stupor with, she was more despondent than I was. Burkinabe. University-educated: not a prodigy, but a damn high passer. Prim middle class family, connections to a Weaver Apex Dynamics subsidiary, providing infrastructure and oxygen-processor services. She hated every single bit of it. Thought they were all bootlickers, and she'd tell me while she was on the phone with them. She'd served in the African Union programs, first. Was inducted into U.N. service the same day the East African Federation was declared. She'd be one of the oldest of the generation to celebrate the Pan-African Spring. The War to Save Humankind. She'd never joined Ecumene because she believed in the people that made it. No. She just thought she could do something worthwhile. She told me, when she was a kid, that she'd been so guilty about the decision to sign up that she'd sought out the opinion of this little leftist collective in Cabo Verde. Even when she thought they were way too 'petit-bourgeois' to do anything. She was a lot more unsure back then, she said. She said they were wrong too. As she expected, she'd barely done anything. The richest nation on the planet couldn't deal with whatever the fuck was going on. Neither could her own. The Spring had ended a long time ago. I remember the smell of whisky and must in that room. Wet, fungus and mold all over the walls. I could hear a sense of sadness in her voice even when she told me all of this. She admitted it, readily. There was this song on this pirate radio station we were listening to. "...Now if we think ahead seven generations What little might remain of what we call civilization It was maybe damned to start with, but what a thing to comprehend That you and I and our grandchildren may be the ones who watch it end..."

...She said it pissed her off. I switched the frequency. We were pretty quiet, that night. Both of us knew that the other was distraught. We were distraught ourselves. How couldn't we be? The world was dying. The only way we thought, personally, we could stop it? Failed, because it was being upheld by people who never cared for any of it anyway. Previous: https://www.tumblr.com/bread-roses-and-chrome/740386202662977536/the-ballad-of-riley-coleman-2?source=share Next: https://www.tumblr.com/bread-roses-and-chrome/740389121912111104/the-ballad-of-riley-coleman-4?source=share

[swampstew]

So Eustass Kid is your Captain huh?

Well you’re in luck. Not only is he dangerous, he’s stupid hot and insanely (emphasis on insane) cool. Not many other Captains are a triple threat like he is. Don’t worry, he wouldn’t hurt his nakama or his love interest, so long as you don’t stab him in the back. You can try but it won’t end well for you. Let’s give you a rundown on the Boss to ease your anxieties.

Meet your Vice-Captain 🡢  ☠️

He’s a really creative guy when it comes to his devil fruit powers. He can make any weapon, any armor, toys, jewelry, figurines, robots, anything that comes to mind he can make. He may not always be smart emotionally and maybe a bit dumb sometimes, but he’s nothing if not creative as hell.

He does often gift his little trinkets - usually to Killer, Heat or Wire. The crew do get their own trinket gifts from him for birthdays or holiday gift exchanges, but the only people that get absolutely burdened with his gifts are his three closest friends and his romantic partner (if he has one).

Everyone thinks that Kid wouldn't be the type to care about anyone but himself but that's simply not true. Kid is a true ride or die. He goes above and beyond to make sure his crew is well taken care of and protected. He pays his crew and lets them get shares of any treasures they find and/or steal, he makes sure he has a good doctor in the crew and any supplies needed at all times, and despite his explosive tendencies, he doesn't go out of his way to hurt or endanger his crew.

Generally speaking, he puts on an aggressive front when out in the public and that won’t drop unless he’s familiar or friendly with you. He lives by the 3 F’s: Friendlies, Familiars, Foes -- the higher on the F pyramid you are, the...less aggressive he’ll be with you. He won't say it but if he respects you, you'll know. He simply won't kill you. Call it generosity or indifference, but never call it kindness. He simply respects the power/strength you have and would love to have a one-on-one fight with you any day. Loser has to buy drinks (or suck his d--)

When he has a romantic partner - they will be loved on like never before. He has a unique way of showing adoration, it can be overwhelming at times, yet they'll never doubt his feelings for them. He might get busy for days at a time, or he'll be in a bad mood and might lash out at them but whenever that passes, he'll come crawling back to them with a gift, a snack and a wounded look. A silent, prideful apology. 

When Kid feels things, he feels them hard. Intensely. Loudly. He's easy to read for the most part so its not particularly hard to get along with him; just don't disrespect, emasculate, or make too much fun of him. He's still the Captain and he demands respect. WILL punch you in the gut if your jokes get too personal.

Don’t ever call him Captain Mid, he will fucking drown you with the ship’s anchor.

Welcome to the crew and try not to die.

[flameohotwife]

Get to know MEme

Tagged by @twinkle-toph--thanks for the tag! Sorry it took me so long to get to it 😅

Currently Reading: nothing, haha, although I have the Kyoshi novels on deck next to my bed, just waiting for me.

Last Song: "Electric Love" because I am obsessed with 'kissing your best friend' videos

Last Series: For me? The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. Or Ted Lasso with my husband... I can't remember which we watched last. But the last series I actually watched was Lego Ninjago with my kids, haha.

Last Movie: The kids picked Pirates of the Caribbean on Disney+ the other day. I can't really remember the last movie I watched for me, though...

Sweet, Savory or Spicy: Sweet!

Currently Working On: I have several wips open right now, haha.

Fake Dating AU Chapter 4

Parts 4 & 5 of Explorations (which might wind up being multiple chapters of the same fic--I haven't decided)

a labor induction kataang fic for @coyotelemon

and a couple others that don't have anything written yet, just ideas jotted down (mixed-race cloudbaby fic and awkward museum)

Tagging: @coyotelemon, @itsmoonpeaches, @northerngoshawk, and @shameaboutthedilettantism

[no-more-tales-tavern]

So, I think we’re all well aware that tieflings tend to have virtue names—names that evoke a certain meaning or aspiration. Sometimes these are the names they’re born with, and sometimes they’re one they choose later in life—like Jester being born Genevieve.

My favorite muse on this blog is Scourge Maelstrom, a tiefling pirate who turned to sailing the seas at around ten years old. With a name like that, it’s pretty obvious that it’s a virtue name, and likely one he chose for himself once he became a proper pirate.

Which then begs the question…what was his first name?

Well, before he was a stowaway on a pirate ship and inducted into their crew, Scourge was an orphan, raised in an orphanage until eight when he was kicked out for causing trouble (aka standing up for the other, younger kids). And as Fjord noted back in Critical Role Campaign 2, bad orphanages tend to slap kids with pretty bad names.

And of course, on top of all of that, Scourge was a tiefling—a devil-horned, devil-tailed, devil-tongued little creature that was always up to mischief. And having to care for such an unusual child—especially compared to all the humans and halflings—his caretakers were sure that whenever they called his name, he’d be reminded of just what they thought of him.

So, until he was twelve years old, his name was Worthless Freak.

[[So, does anyone want to hear some sad lore about one of my OCs on this blog?]]

[liodain]

Listen, I feel like turnabout is fair play and I’m insatiably curious, so: What are YOUR top five songs from the F&F Extended Music Verse and why? 🖤

THIS IS HARD, I'M SORRY FOR DOING THIS TO YOU. REVENGE WAS WARRANTED 💙 I'm gonna have to make an elimination table for the two remaining spots, but here's three for now 😂  under the cut for length and F&F spoilers.

Woke Up a Rebel - Reuben and the Dark

This is my Hugo song!! You wanna talk about on the nose lyrics? Watch this.

I love how the chorus maps to the major periods of Hugo's life: I died like a saint - his induction into the fold as a kid, being fed brine that could've killed him: his martyr theme; was reborn a devil - those decadent, bloodsoaked pirate days, also foreshadowing his discovery of Vidakai and being 'reborn' from Furysworn to Forsworn; slept like a slave - keeping his head down in the navy for six long years while he plots; and woke up a rebel - finally setting all his plans in motion and shaking up the status quo of both navy and fold

The verses though???

The blood will not dry / and time will not heal / I want to be free / but the blood will not dry [...] they made me a shadow / and blackened my bones / but I will rise - His desperation to be free of the Fury's slaughter (and then the navy's), his subsequent abandoning the fold (and mutinying his way out of the navy), his determination to live his life the way he wants, to rise above both the massive influence Fury and fold had on him and the punishment that was levied on him in his time as a privateer

I am wild, I am lost / I am sick, I am damned / but I am holding redemption in the palm of my hand -  I MEAN. One of the many things I love about Hugo is how he's reserved and so controlled, but has an intense savagery that he embraces as well. His redemption didn't lie in him becoming a kinder, more gentle or "good" person, but in his freeing Xeheia of corruption, which had him making a lot of brutal end-justifies-the-means decisions (even if he didn't follow through on all of them)

So I tighten my fist / and sharpen my teeth / it's a promise I made / it's a secret I keep - Please insert a montage here of every time Hugo has just straight up bitten someone, lmfao. More seriously, this could be the Gaze's complement of sharp teeth and Vidakai's magic feeding on secrets. The promise to Gab that he'd see things through with him... and that one secret he has no choice in keeping. In so many words, anyway.

I am looking for trouble / and trouble I will find / you will get what is coming / I'll take back what is mine - First of all: 🥴 Secondly, 'I'll take back what is mine' sure took on a WHOLE new dimension recently re: Izod and the fate of Hugo's flayed mark. YIKES

Anyway, this track had to go toe-to-toe with MUTINY; it was a messy affair but it eventually came out on top :’)

Eastern Wind -  Arbi ft. Koethe 

Without You, Love Is a Sacrifice and BLACK SEA had to throw down for this spot, but this one won out for its impeccable shanty vibes (and because it has a pretty much permanent spot on my most played list 😂) It's a sailing off into the sunset song, full of triumph and renewed hope and a vast sense of freedom, a big deep breath after surviving something terrifyingly apocalyptic that at times felt impossible to overcome. Back from the brink of the deep down

Take care and please heed caution / keep one eye open - I'm anticipating the epilogue to see exactly how they're gonna end up, but for quite a while I have been thinking a lot about them being friendly rival pirate captains with their own ships, spending time with each other when they cross paths on the ocean or roll up at the same port (or leaving letters if they miss one another). They have each other's backs and keep each other informed of navy (and other...) activities, and tell each other to be careful when its time to part again, even if it may not be expressed as plainly as that. 

Somewhere we can thrive again and never be lost and never be found / so far from the rule of the coffer and the crown - Thriving! Gab settling the new fold at the Storm's Eye and Hugo finding a place at the Trinoran Enclave, free to ply the seas as they please, no longer bound by the coffer and crown of the Fury's salt price or Imperial navy orders. But also, 'never be lost and never be found' could be read as them being alert and aware to any corruption that may rear its head (staring real loudly at Izod rn), and refusing to be prey to it again.

Black Sea - Natasha Blume 

(Yes I DO think it's funny to find songs with the same name that also fit) Oh, heady pirate days!! This has such a dreamy but sinister vibe to me, and I love it because it makes me think of Gab enticing Hugo into loosening up and cliff diving with him, night swimming, sharing breath, plunging so deep into Xeheia's realm together that it's dark as pitch: come down to the Black Sea / swimming with me / go down with me, fall with me / let's make worth it. It’s a simple request compared to the rest of the lyrics, which are laden with challenge and questions.

You rise, I fall / I stand, you crawl / you twist, I turn / who's the first to burn? / you sit and stay / I don't obey - They have complicated, shifting power dynamics between them at this point in their lives: Gab immensely powerful in his connection to Xeheia and primed to become Patriarch, but so green still; Hugo older by almost a decade, more experienced, his superior as Furysworn and as his captain. Gab habitually insubordinate and headstrong, Hugo taking satisfaction in asserting his authority over him, and both of them intensely into this game. 

And when events of F&F kick off that push and pull is still present, though by then it's less a game and more like deliberate sabotage, driven by bitterness and hurt as they fail to listen to one another and struggle to realign their purposes: You're giving up, I'm tired / the tug of war that we're playing (we're playing) / I'm not giving up, I’m trying / to tell you

Love, war, pain, life / everything's the same to me - No thoughts just gently pained sounds 😂

[charlotte-headcanons]

I liked to think that the bucked tooth girl and the kid in the bandages are playmates to the Charlotte kids since they are confirmed not to be relatives but I think any kid that intrigues Big Mom could be inducted into the family as playmates.

Great observation, anon! 👏 Among the little ones, there are indeed two children who play with the small Charlottes despite never being confirmed as family members themselves...

Now, playmates is a very plausible explanation! But there could be even more to it than that... Let us dive in!

See, the thing is, Big Mom's last child, Anana, was born 8 years ago. Considering her age, it is very likely that Linlin just cannot get pregnant anymore... And having had little kids constantly for the past 50 years, she could be a bit upset that now she only has so few small ones left, that soon they'll be all grown up, and that there won't be any new ones.

Thus, out of sheer nostalgia, Linlin could start picking children up from the streets and bringing them into the Chateau to play alongside hers. In a way, maybe she even sees it as continuing the legacy of Mother Carmel, making a house for not just her own kids but also for orphans of all races.

Of course, it's all probably not as rose-tinted as she sees it though, like everything Linlin does.

Many of the children brought into the family could not actually be orphans but stolen from their parents just because Big Mom finds them interesting. In that case, she will normally lose interest once they grow up, and send them back to their families.

The actual orphans, though, could stay around, be trained, and become a part of the Big Mom Pirates crew when they're old enough. Having played alongside the Charlottes when they were little, they would of course feel close to plenty of Charlotte kids, and Linlin would still probably recognize them. Despite that, as adults, they would only be known as crew members and would never be formally adopted or receive the Charlotte name - in Linlin's view, her blood-bonded family always must have special privileges.

Thank you for the ask! 💕

[aestheticvoyage2022]

Day 172: Tuesday June 21, 2022 - “Road to Cooperstown”

Cooperstown sits down a long curvy road, through rolling hills, alongside a finger shaped lake and we wound our way there today, and it feels like winding our way back into time, as you hear the story of the first baseball game being mythologized here.  Whether Doubleday started the game here or not, hardly matters. Its the perfect place for the Hall of Fame.  And after walking the streets and getting ice cream, and adoring the charm of the place, I think we all would agree.  

We started our afternoon visit with the Hall of Famers, and browsing the bronze plaques.  David Ortiz is going into the hall this year, and in prep for next month’s induction, the empty place holders had already been hung and were signed on the marble under which the plaques will hang.  Wow!  I thought that was really cool and wondered how far back that tradition goes and how many hall of famers signed the back of their plaque!   Neat seeing this little easter egg.  Last time I was here Ken Griffey Jr., one of my favorite players as a kid, went into the hall - no doubt he had signed his too!

In the Great Hall, William practiced his walking as he cruised around, curious about this special, unique room.  Baseball sanctuary, I told him, as we showed him pictures of Alan Trammel, Hank Aaron, Kirby Puckett (Mom’s favorite non-3rd baseman), and Babe Ruth.  In one of his newest tricks, he said in context, “Wow” - yea buddy, wow.

On to the exhibits we all quietly took our own routes, reading whatever was interesting or eye-catching.  From the first exhibit with Honus Wagner’s Pirates Jersey to the last exhibit with all the World Series rings that we let William crawl on and get a closer look, the Hall is the keeper of the game, telling a story of how its evolved and changed.   My favorite parts were the same as last time, the old lockers and game worn jerseys; we saw Hank Aaron’s whole uniform, Babe Ruth’s, Stan Musial’s, and Jackie Robinson’s.   We saw a Mickey Mantle signed baseball and I told AC about how I wrote to him when I was in grade school and got a signature back in the mail and how because of that, for a long time I was a Mickey Mantle and Yankees fan... for a short while.  We had heard that Miggy’s jersey from his 3,000th hit this Spring had been sent to the hall, but it wasn’t on display yet - instead his Triple Crown jersey was here.  I told William about how someday soon, he’d have his bust in Cooperstown but that last night we saw him swing in Fenway.  I enjoyed seeing Dave Robert’s shoes that he stole 2nd with with my Mom after having shown her the video of that moment in baseball history earlier in the truck on the way here - and there they were in the (leather) flesh.   There were a few new things, or things I hadn’t noticed last time - like the display of Fantasy Baseball, David Freese’s 2011 WS Jersey, the section on the Negro Leagues, and even a whole room dedicated to Baseball Cards.

We visited the gift shop so that we could get a pin for Wm’s hat, and several packs of Cards to add to his budding collection.  We then ventured out into town where I found a bat shop that does engraving and got a special bat to surprise everyone that commemorated William’s first game on a Louisville Slugger mini-bat.  We also visited some card shops and got a Dylan Carlson rookie card to go with William’s signed shoe.  But the big prize was a visit to a candy store for four double scoop waffle cones!  Sorry buddy - maybe next time we’re here you can have one too.  Maybe when that guy Miggy, is in the parade!

Song:  Merle Haggard - Thats The Way Baseball Go

Quote: “Major League Baseball has done as much as any one thing in this country to keep up the spirit of the people.” President Franklin Roosevelt

[abrighterhope]

Ace’s induction ceremony into the Whitebeard Pirates

I just read Ace’s story Volume 2, and I found the ending to the light novel...interesting, to say the least.

The story closes with the scene of a ritual Ace must take part in to be considered Whitebeard’s son, and an official member of the crew. The ritual starts like this:

“The division leaders and other principal members of the Whitebeard crew lined the scene. Deuce and the other members of the Spade Pirates waited on the lower part of the deck as the star of today’s event, Portgas D. Ace proceeded towards the stage. He had taken off his hat for once, and removed his weapons and the beaded necklace as well. He was entering pure of body and spirit.”

So I recreated this image in my head. Lots of people are attending, and the most prominent ones have lined up towards the stage. Ace then walks between them to the stage. I wonder what that image reminds me of. Let’s move on to when Izo begins the ritual:

“We will now conduct the ritual of father and son’s cups. My name is Izo and I will be the speaker for this ceremony. Thatch will conduct the ceremony, Marco will be the observer, and Teach his second...”

So the ceremony has a speaker, a conductor and designated witnesses.Hmmm...its beginning to sound awfully familiar.

Following this, Thatch takes a cup of sake from Whitebeard and brings it to Ace to drink. Ace then drinks from this cup, wraps it in parchment and places it in his pocket. Sake is then poured into two more cups and travels down the lines of the division leaders and other pirates. After this, everyone claps and then:

“After a pause, Thatch the conductor motioned to Ace to say his part.

“Pops.”

“Yes, my son.”

“And so these two have now auspiciously joined together as father and son!” Izo announced, and the ship was enveloped in applause.”

This is where it clicked. Walking down an aisle, a speaker, a conductor and witnesses, and having to say a special part in order to complete the ceremony.

I thought....DID ACE JUST MARRY WHITEBEARD?!

Come on. I can’t be the only one who felt the cup ceremony was like an allegory of a wedding. Not to mention the speech Ace gives to Whitebeard after the ceremony sounds AN AWFUL LOT like a wedding vow:

“My name is Portgas D. Ace. I received my name from the mother to whom I owe my life. And this tattoo represents my brothers, whom I owe as well. The followers behind me...are my family. And on this day, Whitebeard...I received a ritual cup from you.”

Young Fire Fist turned his back, exposing its surface.

“I leave my back open for you. To me, this cup means that I found what I was searching for, right here. And that the time is right to bear your mark on my back.”

Like come on man, “On this day” like are you kidding me here

We’ve seen one other person join WB’s crew and that was Oden (although he joined as a brother and not a son) and he didn’t do any of this shit. Even Luffy’s Grand Fleet joined by exchanging sake cups and that wasn’t anything like this at all.

Or maybe I’ve finally lost my goddamn mind.

[opbackgrounds]

I would love it if you did a post on Brook and why he is awesome

Okay, so first things, like Robin, my love for Brook is in no way objective. I love music, and as a kid I took lessons for violin, piano, viola, and cello. I know how to sing an alto line and will listen to just about anything once, just to know what it sounds like. There are few things that give me more joy than learning about new artists or interments. I’m going to get into this more once we hit the Skypiea arc, but One Piece has a surprising musicality for a medium that doesn’t convey sound. Yes, the anime exists, but Oda has gone out of his way to make music an important part of a story that’s originally nothing but paper and ink, and I think that’s something that’s worth talking about.

More than that, I’ve been a nurse for almost ten years now, and I’ve worked that entire time in long term care. My entire career is based around taking care of old people, and in some ways Brook reminds me of some of the residents I’ve had, many of whom have passed on. 

Most shonen series are focused on characters who are kids. It makes sense—they’re the same age as the target audience, and therefore easy to relate to. Heck, the first six crew members are teenagers when they’re introduced, and I’m sure that was intentional on Oda’s part. 

But since then, each new Straw Hat Pirate has been an adult, with adult circumstances and problems. Brook, in particular, deals with trauma that is almost always unique to his stage of life. 

There is a specific type of grief that comes with aging that’s hard to describe unless you deal with it every day. It’s quieter, less noticeable to the point other people tend to forget about it unless you bring it up. Which in turn tends to exacerbate everyone around you, because why should you still be sad that your siblings died 15 years ago, or your last surviving friend just got diagnosed with cancer, or you’re not able to do the things you once enjoyed because of your arthritis? You’re old. That’s what happens to old people. 

(As an aside, I think we as a culture could stand to be nicer to the elderly, but that’s a topic for another day.)

Brook is an old man. He has literally died and come back to life and has outlived everyone he knew from Before. The tragedy of his story isn’t a punch in the gut like it is for a lot of One Piece flashbacks, but the slowly dawning horror when you realize that he was alone for fifty years. 

Fifty. Years. 

I wrote on my main once about how Brook’s backstory and induction into the crew is written differently than the other Straw Hats (https://creative-type.tumblr.com/post/166349846101/tragedy-without-melodrama). His flashback comes at the very end of Thriller Bark, after the climax of the story. Imagine getting Robin’s backstory after “I wanna live” or Nami’s after the walk to Arlong Park. It just doesn’t work. 

That’s because Brook’s flashback is about closure. The audience already knows his connection to Laboon. We already know how he came to be a skeleton. We already know why his ‘fro is so important to him. We know all there is to know, so Oda lets the Rumbar Pirates have their swan song with grace and dignity, allowing Brook to move seamlessly into his second chance at life. 

There are three Straw Hats that deal with the theme of loneliness in some way: Chopper, Robin, and Brook. Chopper was rejected, Robin persecuted, and Brook was physically isolated. There’s no doubting that sailing alone on a broken ship with nothing but the bones of his dead friends for company took its toll (I for one don’t think Brook’s completely sane) but despite struggling with his burden of loneliness the longest, Brook doesn’t have the angst Robin and Chopper suffered through during their main arcs. He has somehow remained unflinchingly, relentlessly positive and optimistic, despite having every reason not to be. He says it best during his introduction—He’s just glad to be alive.

And again, maybe it’s because I deal with the elderly almost every day, but that means something to me. Getting old isn’t for the faint of heart, and while Brook doesn’t have the same ailments that tend to plague most older people, he’s never going to be mistaken as a regular person. He’s a living, breathing (without lungs!) skeleton. He clings to the only bit of him that remains unchanged from his first life because he’s terrified of what might happen if he relinquishes that last bit of normalcy, but he doesn’t obsess about what he’s lost. Instead he tries new things, makes new friends, goes out on a new adventure. Brook isn’t content to just be alive, he wants to truly live. 

It’s this mindset that helps us understand his role in the crew. There is nothing about Brook that is necessary. He’s a swordsmen whose skills pale to Zoro’s. The Straw Hats made it 400 chapters without him, and they could have gone 400 more if they had to. His dream in no way affects the main plot. But the Straw Hat Pirates without Brook is like life without music. Sure, you can get by, but he makes the good times better and the difficult times a little bit easier to bear, both with his music and by simple virtue of who he is as a person. 

I want to be Brook when I’m 90 years old. Heck, I’d consider it a win if I could be half as positive as he is. I’m so thankful Oda decided to include him in his story, because I think kids need to be exposed to characters who aren’t aren’t their age. 

There’s so much more I could cover here, but this is getting pretty long so I’ll end by saying I think Brook’s powers are cool as hell and I laugh at his stupid puns more often than I should. To see his progression from Thriller Bark to the confidence he displayed during Whole Cake Island was a delight, and I hope he gets more time to shine in Wano. I mean what good is getting old if you don’t use your privilege to sass Emperors?

And, no, his panty jokes to bother me. Like I said, my love for Brook is irrational, and I think he’s hilarious. I bet he’s got a collection of them hidden away somewhere from fan girls, and you know what? Good for him. 

[timeless-hollywood-classics]

Joseph Evans Brown (July 28, 1891 – July 6, 1973) was an American actor and comedian, remembered for his amiable screen persona, comic timing, and enormous elastic-mouth smile. He was one of the most popular American comedians in the 1930s and 1940s, with films like A Midsummer Night's Dream (1935), Earthworm Tractors (1936), and Alibi Ike (1935). In his later career Brown starred in Some Like It Hot (1959), as Osgood Fielding III, in which he utters the film's famous punchline "Well, nobody's perfect."

Brown was born on July 28, 1891, in Holgate, Ohio, near Toledo, into a large family of Welsh descent. He spent most of his childhood in Toledo. In 1902, at the age of ten, he joined a troupe of circus tumblers known as the Five Marvelous Ashtons, who toured the country on both the circus and vaudeville circuits. Later he became a professional baseball player. Despite his skill, he declined an opportunity to sign with the New York Yankees to pursue his career as an entertainer. After three seasons he returned to the circus, then went into vaudeville and finally starred on Broadway. He gradually added comedy to his act, and transformed himself into a comedian. He moved to Broadway in the 1920s, first appearing in the musical comedy Jim Jam Jems.

In late 1928, Brown began making films, starting the next year with Warner Brothers. He quickly became a favorite with child audiences, and shot to stardom after appearing in the first all-color all-talking musical comedy On with the Show (1929). He starred in a number of lavish Technicolor musical comedies, including Sally (1929), Hold Everything (1930), Song of the West (1930), and Going Wild (1930). By 1931, Brown had become such a star that his name was billed above the title in the films in which he appeared.

He appeared in Fireman, Save My Child (1932), a comedy in which he played a member of the St. Louis Cardinals, and in Elmer, the Great (1933) with Patricia Ellis and Claire Dodd and Alibi Ike (1935) with Olivia de Havilland, in both of which he portrayed ballplayers with the Chicago Cubs.

In 1933 he starred in Son of a Sailor with Jean Muir and Thelma Todd. In 1934, Brown starred in A Very Honorable Guy with Alice White and Robert Barrat, in The Circus Clown again with Patricia Ellis and with Dorothy Burgess, and with Maxine Doyle in Six-Day Bike Rider.

Brown was one of the few vaudeville comedians to appear in a Shakespeare film; he played Francis Flute in the Max Reinhardt/William Dieterle film version of Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream (1935) and was highly praised for his performance. He starred in Polo Joe (1936) with Carol Hughes and Richard "Skeets" Gallagher, and in Sons o' Guns. In 1933 and 1936, he became one of the top 10 earners in films.

He left Warner Brothers to work for producer David L. Loew, starring in When's Your Birthday? (1937). In 1938, he starred in The Gladiator, a loose adaptation of Philip Gordon Wylie's 1930 novel Gladiator that influenced the creation of Superman. He gradually switched to making "B" pictures.

In 1939, Brown testified before the House Immigration Committee in support of a bill that would allow 20,000 German-Jewish refugee children into the U.S. He later adopted two refugee children.

At age 50 when the U.S. entered World War II, Brown was too old to enlist. Both of his biological sons served in the military during the war. In 1942, Captain Don E. Brown, was killed when his Douglas A-20 Havoc crashed near Palm Springs, California.

Even before the USO was organized, Brown spent a great deal of time traveling, at his own expense, to entertain troops in the South Pacific, including Guadalcanal, New Zealand and Australia, as well as the Caribbean and Alaska. He was the first to tour in this way and before Bob Hope made similar journeys. Brown also spent many nights working and meeting servicemen at the Hollywood Canteen. He wrote of his experiences entertaining the troops in his book Your Kids and Mine. On his return to the U.S., Brown brought sacks of letters, making sure they were delivered by the Post Office. He gave shows in all weather conditions, many in hospitals, sometimes doing his entire show for a single dying soldier. He signed autographs for everyone. For his services to morale, Brown became one of only two civilians to be awarded the Bronze Star during World War II.

His concern for the troops continued into the Korean War, as evidenced by a newsreel featuring his appeal for blood donations to aid the U.S. and UN troops there that was featured in the season 4 episode of M*A*S*H titled "Deluge".[5]

In 1948, he was awarded a Special Tony Award for his work in the touring company of Harvey.[1][6]

He had a cameo appearance in Around the World in 80 Days (1956), as the Fort Kearney stationmaster talking to Fogg (David Niven) and his entourage in a small town in Nebraska. In the similarly epic film It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World (1963), he had a cameo as a union official giving a speech at a construction site in the climactic scene. On television, he was the mystery guest on What's My Line? during the episode on January 11, 1953.

His best known postwar role was that of aging millionaire Osgood Fielding III in Billy Wilder's 1959 comedy Some Like It Hot. Fielding falls for Daphne (Jerry), played by Jack Lemmon in drag; at the end of the film, Lemmon takes off his wig and reveals to Brown that he is a man, to which Brown responds "Well, nobody's perfect", one of the more celebrated punchlines in film.

Another of his notable postwar roles was that of Cap'n Andy Hawks in MGM's 1951 remake of Show Boat, a role that he reprised onstage in the 1961 New York City Center revival of the musical and on tour. Brown performed several dance routines in the film, and famed choreographer Gower Champion appeared along with first wife Marge. Brown's final film appearance was in The Comedy of Terrors (1964).

Brown was a sports enthusiast, both in film and personally. Some of his best films were the "baseball trilogy" which consisted of Fireman, Save My Child (1932), Elmer, the Great (1933) and Alibi Ike (1935). He was a television and radio broadcaster for the New York Yankees in 1953. His son Joe L. Brown became the general manager of the Pittsburgh Pirates for more than 20 years. Brown spent Ty Cobb's last days with him, discussing his life.

Brown's sports enthusiasm also led to him becoming the first president of PONY Baseball and Softball (at the time named Pony League) when the organization was incorporated in 1953. He continued in the post until late 1964, when he retired. Later he traveled additional thousands of miles telling the story of PONY League, hoping to interest adults in organizing baseball programs for young people. He was a fan of thoroughbred horse racing, a regular at the racetracks in Del Mar and Santa Anita.

Brown was caricatured in the Disney cartoons Mickey's Gala Premiere (1933), Mother Goose Goes Hollywood (1938), and The Autograph Hound (1939); all contain a scene in which he is seen laughing so loud that his mouth opens extremely wide. According to the official biography Daws Butler: Characters Actor, Daws Butler used Joe E. Brown as inspiration for the voices of two Hanna-Barbera cartoon characters: Lippy the Lion (1962) and Peter Potamus (1963–1966).

He also starred in his own comic strip in the British comic Film Fun between 1933 and 1953

Brown married Kathryn Francis McGraw in 1915. The marriage lasted until his death in 1973. The couple had four children: two sons, Don Evan Brown (December 25, 1916 – October 8, 1942; Captain in the United States Army Air Force, who was killed in the crash of an A-20B Havoc bomber while serving as a ferry pilot)[8] and Joe LeRoy "Joe L." Brown (September 1, 1918 – August 15, 2010), and two daughters, Mary Katherine Ann (b. 1930) and Kathryn Francis (b. 1934). Both daughters were adopted as infants.

Joe L. Brown shared his father's love of baseball, serving as general manager of the Pittsburgh Pirates from 1955 to 1976, and briefly in 1985, also building the 1960 and 1971 World Series champions. Brown's '71 Pirates featured baseball's first all-black starting nine.

Brown began having heart problems in 1968 after suffering a severe heart attack, and underwent cardiac surgery. He died from arteriosclerosis on July 6, 1973 at his home in Brentwood, California, three weeks before his 82nd birthday. He is interred at Forest Lawn Memorial Park in Glendale, California.

For his contributions to the film industry, Brown was inducted into the Hollywood Walk of Fame in 1960 with a motion pictures star located at 1680 Vine Street.

In 1961, Bowling Green State University renamed the theatre in which Brown appeared in Harvey in the 1950s as the Joe E. Brown Theatre. It was closed in 2011.

Holgate, Ohio, his birthplace, has a street named Joe E. Brown Avenue. Toledo, Ohio has a city park named Joe E. Brown Park at 150 West Oakland Street.

Rose Naftalin's popular 1975 cookbook includes a cookie named the Joe E. Brown.[14][15] Brown was a frequent customer of Naftalin's Toledo restaurant.

Flatrock Brewing Company in Napoleon, Ohio offers several brown ales such as Joe E. Coffee And Vanilla Bean Brown Ale, Joe E. Brown Hazelnut, Chocolate Peanut Butter Joe E. Brown, Joe E Brown Chocolate Pumpkin, and Joe E. (Brown Ale).

[goofmemes]

NSP’s “The Prophecy” Sentence Starters

Warning, some mildly N/W/F/W

Intro (The)

“Well met, young adventurer!”

“That day has finally arrived.”

“Because that’s what’s been foreseen by... THE PROPHECY!”

The Mystic Crystal

“Now gods and men and all between shall blow my necromancing schween!”

“Alas! For he was strong as fuck.”

“Search the forests, search the seas, search time and all realities.”

“Yes, my king/queen, it shall be done.”

“And that’s where our story begins.”

“Hey, ___, is that a mystic space portal behind you?”

“You've sailed across the sky and stars. The gods have brought you here unharmed.”

“My arms are broken, and I don't know why my chest is smoking.”

“I’m sure we’ll look back on this and laugh!”

“Ah, ___, do you think you could please warn me before you're about to light our righteous way?”

“Alright fine! Whatever man!”

“Then they ran straight away for they gave not a shit.”

“___, your heart is kind.”

“Stand back, ____, I'm going to hug them!”

“I probably should have brought some weapons.”

“I should have been in more pain than could ever be spoken...”

“Look, ___, the portal back home is opening!”

“Now fare thee well. It seems that our journey is at an end.”

It’s Bedtime

“Little child, close your eyes.”

“You’re like an angel in the moonlight.”

“It’s bedtime! Fucking bedtime!”

“Let my army of demons rock you to sleep!”

“I see you’re still awake for some reason. ...Was it the demons?”

“There's a boatload of pirates and they're fighting police.”

“Do you ever think about how ghosts can't be stopped by anything?”

“Would you like to see a slideshow about where meat comes from?”

“Apparently lots of venomous snakes can open doors! Who knew?”

“Check out my airhorn!” *HOOOOONK!*

“Here's one last bloodcurdling scream!”

The Wishing Bear

“I’m gonna ask for world peace. There’s so much pain and suffering on this earth...”

“OH NO! AAHH!!!”

“IT’S NOT THE WISHING BEAR!!!”

“CALL THE POLICE!! THE POLICE!!”

“Oh, real fucking nice, dude...”

I Don’t Know What We’re Talking About (And I Haven’t for Awhile)

“My heart was racing, and now we’re on our first date.”

“Now it's 10 o'clock and the meal is done, but the conversation's just begun.”

“You're fascinating, I feel blessed.”

“I don’t know what we’re talking about. And I haven’t for awhile.”

“I've been daydreaming about a pterodactyl named Lamar."

“I’m not absorbing anything.”

“Smile and nod.”

“Is it my turn to talk?”

“You’re looking at me -- Oh, God!”

“Focus... Focus....!”

“How many Draculas are hiding in this room?”

“I’d make an awesome cop if I could stop committing crime.”

“Anyway, why don't you and I go back to my place and, oh, I see you left at some point...”

Welcome to My Parents’ House

“I know what's on your mind.”

“The look in your eyes says 'take me tonight.’”

“Well I’ve got just the place.”

“Welcome to my parents' house!”

“You seem like a keeper.”

“I got my very own room and tons of free food.”

“Can you believe this shit is free?”

“S-sorry, sorry, every-everything's fine!”

“You need to go to bed.”

“Let's use our inside voices.”

“Sometimes ___ just hangs around to make sure I make good choices.”

“Get out of here, I said I'm on a date!”

“You always do this when I have company over!”

Wondering Tonight

“Sometimes I think of you and I.”

“No time will heal a wounded heart.”

“When I look up at the stars I wonder where you are.”

“I wonder who you’re slamming hard tonight.”

“Who is looking deeply in your eyes?”

“I sit here underneath the moon, wondering how our cherished memories were gone so soon.”

“...You were all I'll ever know of grace.”

“I'm missing you like crazy tonight.”

“I'm sitting here just thinking about why I'm alone without you next to me tonight.”

Ninja Brian’s Kids’ Album

“I kinda feel like I owe them one.”

“Everybody dies alone!”

“You know what-- I’m not doing this.”

The Decision Part 2: Ten Years Later

“Well we're still freaking awesome and we're back at your house!”

“We're all grown up and ready for romance.”

“Now maybe we can help you out, ‘cause ___ and I are still single somehow.”

“Now we're so fucking mature!”

“But before we begin, let me tell you where we've been.”

“We've had so many adventures.”

“I’ve had almost-sex with like a hundred girls!”

“There were Unicorn Wizards and samurai.”

“Wow... since we last saw each other, we've grown so much. As people, as ___... and also as people.”

Do Math With U

“Hello, my love. I've been away so long.”

“Let me pour you some champagne.”

“I wanna do math with you.”

“And our division's been too long.”

“Finally we’re here alone.”

“If our love was two trains traveling opposite directions at thirty miles an hour, baby, we'd still feel the same.”

“I guess it must be fate.”

“Now give my sweet ellipse a kiss.”

“Between me and you, we've got nothin' to prove.”

“Your curvature turns me on.”

“Calcul-me and calcul-you, girl, that makes calcul-us.”

“You know, they said it would never work between us. We're from completely different worlds.”

“Also. You fuck good.”

“I’ll love you till the end of pi.”

Thunder & Lightning

“But when I woke the next morning, I witnessed something odd.”

“I now had a new calling: I was destined to fight crime!”

“So I bought them a little unitard and found them a tiny cape.”

“I ran to the the city's toughest gang and screamed 'There's no escape!’"

“First you hear that rumble baby and then you see the flash!”

“Turns out being struck by lighting doesn't give you any powers.”

“They caved my head in with a pipe and beat me for several hours.”

“I looked up to the blackened sky and said an ancient prayer.”

“Lord, if you're there... Please infuse my nuts with the power of a thousand suns.”

“Holy shit, you’re real!?”

Outro (Prophecy) 

“Congratulations, traveler!”

“Induct them into the league of champions with one, final, triumphant chord.”