#LET HIM BE A SLIGHT PARALLEL TO ENDVERSE CAS
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i-reblog-castiel · 4 months ago
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YOU GET IT
being an angel is integral to how castiel views both himself and his relationships (this is exemplified heavily in the endverse, even if his ideas and attitudes about himself in relation to humanity have changed). I love how you mentioned how much it plays into who he is, how when he's an angel (even with failing or stolen grace) he routinely puts his duty above interpersonal relationships or who he is as a person because of this view he holds towards himself.
Castiel was created to be a tool. When he has grace, he can't find it within himself to let that function go. He can't shift his priorities; he was, is, and will be a weapon (how he's treated at times throughout the series confirms this to himself, but that's a whole other essay). He believes (or wants to believe) that he's undeserving or incapable of maintaining interpersonal relationships because of his divine nature. If/when he has grace, he doesn't have that issue, because like you said, he doesn't have that duty anymore; he's not a weapon. Using the metaphor "I need you like air; I need you like a gun," cas sees himself as a broken gun when he has no grace. it's why he doesn't believe that dean wants him around on a hunt or to see him when he's on his "Steve" arc, because he believes his worth to people is tied to his usefulness (also probably why he is so meticulous at the gas n sip). As a human, he doesn't need to fight holy wars, he can just be a person, which, like you said, gets rid of the active choice cas needs to make to sideline duty and focus on what makes him happy .
part of what makes not only destiel, but relationships cas has formed with jack, sam, charlie, rowena, and every other character so raw is that he needs to make the active choice to be there for them, despite the fact that he could be doing literally anything else. despite the fact that he could be fighting demons 24/7 or hunting constantly or chilling in heaven.
I've also seen scenarios where cas chooses to be human, being the stand in for that active choice, but I believe cas staying an angel would still be better. as a human, he makes that choice once and is stuck with that. it's a big choice and is amazing for the emotional gravitas of the moment, but as a continued angel, he has to make that decision every day. every interaction between anyone he has a relationship with, especially dean, becomes so much more meaningful when he stays.
also that fic is 100% on my reading list i love post-empty fics where he stays an angel and they just kinda gotta. deal with that.
there’s some excellent human cas fic out there that i love wholeheartedly, but at the end of the day im an angel endgame cas truther because i, like dean winchester, am a monsterfucker
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