#Law is talking to a shadow clone without realizing

[badninken]

Psst! ... PSST!!

Ever thought of a mash-up of One Piece with Naruto? 👀👀👀

-🍷🤡

It has been on my mind for months

[sil-and-seals-blog-something]

(Gonna respond to both of the reblogs ya made hdgnj, just so ya know-)

Talia becoming Buddy Buddy with the Fenton Parents is a terrifying thought. Which leads to an idea for the gift from her. She’d easily find out that Vlad has cloned Danny before (due to probably stalking any history on Danny that she could find the moment she found out that Damian was courting someone). She’d absolutely come prepared and… persuade him to assist her in the creation of her gift to the two. Just to ensure that everything remains stable. After all, who better to work on a genetically engineered child of two people, than the people who have cloned each person individually before? Vlad is terrified of this lady who came in with an ecto infused sword and an assassin career. He’s absolutely folding to her demands when his self preservation instincts kick in.

Talia is very focused on showing her approval of Damian and Danny’s relationship. She’s excited. Ecstatic even. Absolutely proud of Damian for finding the love that she wishes her and Bruce had. Bruce is mildly terrified of how much of the approval and excitement she’s willingly showing. He knows that if he shows or voices too much approval, than Talia will stab him.

Danny and Damian would love the child. And honestly? Best “had my DNA taken without consent and used to make another life” experience for them both so far, at least. Even if it wasn’t an ideal experience. The kid being presented to them as a gift is an oddly touching experience even if they were caught completely unawares. The fact that the kid might have powers is a huge point of stress for the two. But, all things considering, they’re doing pretty well. Got a nursery set up with the help of their families. Just a few finishing touches to the nursery and everything will be perfect (you cannot tell me that they didn’t modify the nursery to be more gothic and that they didn’t absolutely contact Lady Gotham to make it accurately gothic yet still child friendly and colorful).

(Addition to the Lady Gotham piece. They tell absolutely no one about the city spirit, so someone walks into the nursery at night {checking in on the kid} only to see a red eyed, stone lady shrouded in shadows just singing authentically Gotham gothic songs to the baby while rocking them. If that someone is Tim, he’ll probably believe it to be a sleep deprivation hallucination at first, until he wakes up in the morning and realizes that that wasn’t a hallucination)

Bruce is right to be terrified of Babs and Jazz’s relationship. But, after being pacified? Well, a notable past time of Batman’s is messing with the rest of the JL under the guise of training. He’s unleashing those two of the rest of the JL eventually. No one is escaping that.

I love the idea of the Fentonightengale family being blessed as a method to contain their degree of eccentricity. Honestly though, the true love clause might make everyone feel a good deal better about the Damian/Danny and Babs/Jazz relationships.

Finding out that they’ll become in-laws with Klarion is awkward though. The first, extended family get together (Damian and Babs were already aware of this) after everything will be hilarious.

Also, I’d love for the Batfam to think, at first, that Dan, Skulker, and Ember were the tame ones. Because, they’d probably seem that way. With them all talking about their different interests (helping family, hunting, and the touring), they’d really seem tame compared to the others (their variant of the Fentonightengale love is that they’ll do anything to combine all of their obsessions and will do highly complicated things to manage it). Then they find out that Dan, in another timeline, nearly destroyed the world single handedly. They’re sent questioning the sanity of the Fentonightengale bloodline yet again.

I fully believe that Danny and Damien are a really creepy weird couple

They have a Gomez and Morticia type vibe but who is Gomez and who is Morticia is constantly changing depending on the situation

Damien will say something that he thinks is romantic but because he's socially inept it comes out as really creepy and Danny is just smitten flattered he loves it

Damien would call Danny's fangs absolutely terrifying as a compliment and Danny would start blushing and giggling

[cafeinthemoon]

The Home I Crave - Chapter 6

Title: The Home I Crave

Genre: Fanfiction

Pairing: Tobirama Senju x reader

Rating: teen and up

Word count: 1940

Chapter: 6/?

Symbols: ⭕ | ➕ | 💛 | ▶️▶️

Read the previous chapter here: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5

You opened your mouth to say something, but gave up in the middle of it. Did he just say he created a teleportation jutsu? Yes, your ears were not deceived, neither were your eyes: you saw him just appearing inside a room where you were surely left alone. And now he was just there apologizing for his brother as if Hashirama just forgot to tell you something as obvious as the location of the room’s window. For everything you’ve heard until that day you already knew your betrothed was not a common man, but this surpassed your expectations.

You also wanted to say that what Hashirama didn’t anything serious and that you were already recovered from the shock, but Tobirama’s words made you feel like that wasn’t true: a mistake was made, and thanks to it the meeting between the bride and the groom didn’t happen as planned. Well, you were upset too, but it wasn’t the end of the alliance, was it? However, that was the way he put things.

It was when something woke up in your brain, and recollecting everything you already knew about him you understood what Mito wanted to say when she stated that Tobirama was the opposite of his brother.

This urged you to fix the discomfort and to reason with him as soon as you could.

- As you already found out, Lord Advisor, I am y/n from the … clan, our head’s eldest daughter and his advisor as well – you bowed your head in an imitation of his gesture – You will forgive me, but I believe we can take things a little lighter. I don’t believe the Hokage made a serious mistake, and even if he has warned me about the seal I think I would be caught in surprise seeing it in action.

You weren’t sure if your response was enough to soothe his humor, but something changed in his expression and tone when he spoke again.

- You are right – and looking at the seal again – I’ve been using this technique for so long that sometimes I forget how unusual it might seem to the people who never heard of it.

You’ve already met ninjas who created jutsu before, but none of them seemed so proud of them as the younger Senju. From now on, you would have to watch your steps when the subject were his jutsu.

Judging that you had nothing more to say about the incident, Tobirama opened the door, indicating the exit to you.

- We will be late if we stay here.

You passed by the door and he closed it behind him, walking through the corridor towards the house’s entry. You followed him, but once you reached the front door you cleared your throat, gaining his attention right when he had his hand over the door.

He turned to you.

- Is there something wrong?

- Well, I... think it is appropriate if you offer me your arm.

Tobirama stared at you as if your solicitation was entirely unexpected. You almost told him to not do it if he didn’t want to, but he offered you his left arm without a word, which you accepted with equal silence before he finally opened the residence’s door.

***

The ceremony itself was faster than you thought it would be, considering that you’ve already attended to events like that and always sensed they lasted for an eternity. Or maybe your head were so full of preoccupations that you haven’t much time to feel bored by all the formalities in which you had to take part.

After you two said your vows before the priest, you turned to each other: it was the time for the kiss. You might have seemed more surprised than you should be, because Tobirama approached you and asked if everything was okay; you nodded and just said you were nervous, not dreaming of telling him you completely forgot about this part.

He didn’t waste time with deliberations or affected gestures: he bowed to you and kissed your forehead, finishing it fast enough to your relief and to Hashirama and Mito’s deception, or so you thought when you glanced at them right after.

***

When the ceremony and the greeting session with representatives of both the Senju and your clan was over, you and your husband left the temple and went to the night, prepared to go to your house. You were curious, for everything you’ve seen from it was its entry during a walk with Mito, but now you were going to step into it and learn to see it as your new home.

You were aware of the house’s location, so that once you left the temple’s area you started walking towards that direction, but Tobirama called you before you went too far.

- Yes? – you turned to him.

- Where are you going?

Your first thought was that he was being ironic, but two reasons made you abandon the idea: first, such behavior didn’t fit him, and second, he was serious as usual.

You replied to him in the same tone.

- To our house. This is the right way, isn’t it? – you pointed the street you were about to walk in.

- Yes. But we are not going to walk to reach it.

Before you could ask what were you going to do then, he came to your side and touched your shoulder. You didn’t have enough time to blink, even less time to ask him what he was doing: in one moment, you were still at the entry of the temple; in the next one, you were in a completely different place. You looked around and recognized the Advisor’s residence at your right. Looking closer to the wooden door, in a corner you noticed a copy of the seal you found behind the door of the room where you met glowing in the dark.

So that was how his teleportation jutsu worked. Impressive.

Tobirama opened the door and entered, turning on the lights. You entered just after him, who closed the door behind you while you looked around, still getting used to the fact that you would have to live there from now on. It wasn’t bad, though: the place was tidy, simple, organized, a reflection of his owner; besides, it was wide, so that you shouldn’t have difficulties to maintain the amount of privacy necessary in the period of adaptation to a new routine.

It was when you remembered something.

- I just realized I didn’t talk to Mito before we left – you started speaking, not sure if you were getting a reply so heavy was his silence after closing the door – We were going to go back to the Hokage’s residence so she would help me to bring the rest of my things.

Yes, in the morning of that day you sent some of your essential things to Tobirama’s house after receiving a message from him telling you to do so, but most of the less important things were left in the room you were using at Hashirama’s, so you talked to Mito and she said she would bring them with you after the ceremony; but you left so early that you barely talked to her about it. What were you going to do now?

- It is not an unsolvable problem, y/n-san.

The reply came faster than you expected. You saw Tobirama making a hand seal you never seen before; two columns of white smoke appeared on each side of him, giving place to two figures who looked exactly like him. Two clones.

He touched their backs and spoke to you.

- I marked them with my Hiraishin. They are going to go to my brother’s house and pack your things, bringing them here as soon as they can. There is no need to bother my sister-in-law with this.

You wanted to say that this wouldn’t bother her because that was precisely the plan you two have made, but you ended up quiet. He ordered the clones to teleport to Hashirama’s house and they obeyed, disappearing in the next instant.

Tobirama reached the white flower on his chest and took it off his clothing. You had a similar flower adorning your hair as well; he approached you and took it off your strand, holding them together without looking at you or saying anything that revealed his thoughts. Close to the living room’s window at your left, there was a round, small table; he went there and found a blue vase, inside which he left the flower. When he came back to you, it was as if he just forgot about the flowers’ existence.

Maybe he did, for he changed the subject with the same promptitude he left the flowers behind:

- Now let’s prepare something to eat.

Something in this invitation made you feel willing to offer yourself to help.

- Yes. Since you know your own kitchen better, I can put the table while you cook…

While you went to the kitchen, he thanked your suggestion but explained that he was going to use a third clone to cook while he himself was going to organize the table.

- You can go and wash your hands – he pointed at a corridor that extended to the core of the residence until divide itself in two, continuing at the right and the left – The bathroom is at your right, behind the last door.

He soon turned to the kitchen and created another clone, who immediately started to work as he took bowls to put on the table. You had nothing more to say, so you just went to the door he indicated wondering how many clones he was able to make in so little time.

Once in the bathroom, you decided to take some time for yourself. Besides washing your hands, you removed your makeup and undid your hairstyle. You thought of taking a bath, but your stomach made a loud noise telling you not to until you eat something.

When you came back to the kitchen, everything was ready and Tobirama told you to sit and serve yourself.

***

After a silent dinner, Tobirama took you to other parts of the house while a clone was left behind to clean the dishes.

He showed you the main departments, such as the room you would share, his office, the library and the service area with brief explanations of his methods to keep them clean and organized – which was almost resumed to the use of Shadow Clones since he had so little time to spent at home and didn’t like the idea of paying someone else to do this job for him. You asked him about how he was able to manage the clones’ activity in his absence, and he explained that unlike common clones, the Shadow Clones used by him – actually, another jutsu he created – were physical copies of the original person, so that they would always know what to do even when the original was not present. In the end, when the clones disappeared, their experiences were transferred to the primary individual.

It was strange that he spoke as if he had to work hard to maintain the order in a place where he lived alone when all you saw while looking into the rooms was an organization  you’ve rarely seen in a man’s house.

You were going to question him about the task division now that you would live there as well, when the clones came back with your things. Tobirama told them to take them to your room and they obeyed without a word.

[cgmayra]

Sonic Movie: Sonamy Prompt

Birthday week!!! So, for my birthday, I’m gonna spend this whole week writing prompts for you guys! Yay! Commissions are open still but not for long, prompts are open and we’re at 137! If you’ve already submitted 3 prompt requests please hold off to let others have a chance! Thank you!

I’ve had SOOOO many ideas for Amy Rose in this adaptation of Sonic, and now I can finally write another one! :Db

Prompt:

After meeting Tails, Sonic is reluctant to leave Earth even if it’s only for a quick visit to meet the fighters who are striving for freedom and to prepare for the threat of the Master Emerald’s Chaos God.

It seems Eggman might have something to do with it, hoping to perhaps use it to return home for Christmas, but Sonic knows that’s not a good idea. Worriedly, he bids a hearty farewell to his adapted family and steps into the portal ring with Tails.

It’s there that he meets another Hedgehog, Amy gets easily flustered because, apparently, Tails warns she falls easily for people--but after so many heartbreaks, she’s gone a little extreme with her crush-happy tendencies.

However, Sonic--barely listening to Tails’s warning anyway--zips on over to her and excitedly remarks about all the parts of her that are hedgehog related, and naturally seems to be wooing her without realizing it. He plays the ‘cool new guy’ persona and she immediately falls for it, which surprises him because he’s used to acting cocky and confident but wasn’t expecting it to work this well... Tails scolds him but says he must live with the consequences, then proceeds to laugh behind his back at Sonic’s dense understanding of what has happened.

He grows shy after realizing Amy worries her strength will intimidate potential lovers, and thereby ruining her chances of love. She hints that she’s worried he’ll leave too, but he still doesn’t get that she likes him so much, so instead--he takes it as she thinks he won’t be her friend because of her powers. He admits he felt the same way, that because of his speed, no one would want to be with him without wanting to steal it. She thinks that’s him admitting feelings for her too and agrees to go back to Earth with him, thinking they’re going to get married.

She flirts and teases and swoons easily as he mistakes all this for her just trying to make a friend and feels he relates to that, even stating, “I’d love to be on a baseball team with you! You’d do great!” which confuses Tails because he thought Sonic wanted to have him on a baseball team... (they’re friendship is shaky at this point, but Tails’s admires him and soon learns that Sonic does want to be friends, even best friends. ^^)

When Eggman does get back to earth, also leading to Chaos finding his way to the planet, reigning down havoc and destruction, it’s up to Sonic’s new friends and a recently recruited Echidna (Knuckles was under the impression he needed Sonic’s speed but then sees the evil of his people and joins forces with him.) to save the day! Amy unleashes her Piko Piko Hammer fury and Sonic praises her, even starstruck by how powerful she really is. She blushes and loses her fear that her power will keep her from true love.

They, unfortunately, are defeated by Eggman’s cunning and machines. They flee into the forest where they meet an experimental ‘Sonic’ known as Shadow, who is protecting a little girl named Maria from the government. (President’s granddaughter in this version.) He hates the government and Sonic, who they tried to clone, and only wants to protect the little girl who freed him from his torturous experiments. Amy agrees to look after Maria if Shadow will convince the government to help stop Eggman before Chaos gets too powerful and all seven chaos emeralds.

Shadow and Sonic butt heads with each other but end up working well together (movie finale?) and Sonic turns Super for the first time... being an odd mix of Sonic, Shadow also can turn Super, and they use their combined power to defeat his ultimate form. 

After the fight (More my prompt lol, this is just an explaination), Sonic and his newfound friends play a baseball game together, but Sonic’s sweet encouragements for Amy make her miss 2 swings. Worried, he says ‘home run’ as in make one, but she thinks he’s offering to run her home and gets serious. She explodes the baseball... leaving everyone shocked and horrified as the little kids playing against them look shocked.

Tom and Maddie don’t like Sonic staying out so late but he says he’s only dropping Amy off. Tom is suspicious but Maddie pats his chest and tells him this is probably good for him.

Racing along, Amy begins to feel uneasy about how people reacted to the ball exploding on impact, and if he was scared of her now.

He admits it was a shock, but he’s not scared of her. “It’s hard to be scared of a cute pink hedgehog, right?”

He doesn’t realize his words have gripped her heart and as he sets her down to return to her home, she kisses him and tells him she agrees to being his girlfriend, then leaves.

He’s absolutely taken aback and feels violated as he cries and complains to Maddie, who uses reverse physiology to see his real feelings. “You know what? You’re right. I’ll call Tom, he’s working late tonight.” She picks up the phone and starts calling him.

“It’s not even that late...” Sonic complains, wondering what she’s doing.

Sonic, being dramatic, looks up from whining into his arms on the couch and flicks his ear to her, his eyes watching her.

“Tom,” He’s holding up a sign on a street to let kids coming home from school cross the road safely.

“Yes, I’d like to report a felony.” Maddie looks away from Sonic, trying to sound ‘official’ but also fake.

“...Maddie?” Tom tilts his head, while also waving with his fingers slightly to a little girl who passes him and waved to him first. “What’s this all about?”

“Sonic was attacked by a vicious girl.”

“Wait!” Sonic jumps on the couch, dashing over to her, “That’s not true!”

“But you said she just launched herself at you! You were violated, it was awful!” Maddie continues, as Tom just looks side to side with his eyes... trying to put two and two together while working.

“Y-yeah, but...” He steps back a moment, growing shy. “She’s not a criminal! She just... caught me by surprise!” he admitted.

“Oh... A misdemeanor then.” Maddie concluded, then turned back to Tom, “You saw her explode that baseball, what do you think she did to his lips! We’ll have to schedule him for a check up, he could be positive for..!” she suddenly stopped, her eyes growing wide and putting her hand over the phone. Curious, Sonic runs to compile boxes to stand on and leans his head to her own to hear her next words. She holds in a snort of laughter, then whispers, “Cuties.”

Sonic gasps, and Tom smiles.

A woman in her car is gesturing to Tom, wondering why he’s still blocking them from going when the kids have already crossed. Thinking she’s also waving at him like the little girl did, and having no awareness for what’s going on besides the phone call, he waves to her and continues to take the call.

“There’s only one thing to do, a restraining order!”

“No!” Sonic jumps onto her, clinging to her neck, “She’s so alone as it is! And C-C-Cuties have never been proven scientifically deadly!”

She spins herself, pretending to try and get him off as his feet dangle and swish around her. “Pretzel lady, please! She’s just a innocent girl! She didn’t mean any harm!”

“She’s clearly made her victim delusional!” Maddie sits down on the couch, “That’s it. We’ll have to lock him in his room so he can never see her again.”

“What!?” Sonic then argues that she may need him, what if she gets in trouble?

Maddie, per Tom’s instruction, hands the phone over to Sonic and Tom convinces him that he should pull Amy to the side and explain to her that that kinda behavior is uncalled for and she could be arrested under charges of assault next time.

“Tell her you know a cop.” He joked.

Sonic takes the advice and goes to see Amy again, however, he’s trying to act high and mighty, haughty towards her but she just continues to act like nothing is the matter. He’s deflated by her not reacting at all to his words, and even seems to be pretending she doesn’t know what he’s talking about. He pulls her aside, away from the crowd, but Amy gasps and realizes he just pulled her into the Olive Garden parking lot.

They get a table but he’s still trying to put the words together to explain to her the ‘grievous situation’ she could be in with the law and also how she shouldn’t do things like that again but the staff get the wrong idea and start setting ‘the mood’ by placing candles on the table.

Sonic’s words make Amy think he’s proposing, and she delightfully leans in as he leans in trying to whisper to her that they should keep a distance but he’s going about it all wrong.

“You see, heroes shouldn’t have love interests because there’s a-a-a lot of problems that can happen and-” he pauses in his tough boy hero act as he notices the scene and Amy coming in closer over the table. “Ah!” he sits back down and backs away, noticing the romantic setup and wondering how it all happened.

Amy sits back down, disappointed, but states, “I will only kiss the man who will be my husband~”

He thinks she’s being a rascal and playing with his feelings then, and states, folding his arms, “So you are just a flirt! Fooling with heroes hearts and all..”

She giggles, “I’ll fool with your heart forever and ever, Sonic. That’s all I ever want.”

From that time on, Sonic’s exasperated attempts to keep her away or at an arm’s distance is merely because he thinks she’s just teasing and messing with his emotions... However, she is as sincere as she can be~<3

[shadowofthelamp]

I’m slowly stretching myself back into reverse au and writing Timber again. Minor retcon for the reverse au: Sonic’s dimension wasn’t just conquered, it was destroyed from the inside out. When they went back to check it out, everything was roboticized- there were no signs of life left, not even Robotnik.

Some context: It’s semi-explained in the writing, but Timber moves into Devi’s dimension after they get married because he feels like he can do more there and he trusts the twins to take things back at home. They’re from entirely different universes (and different dimensions within those universes) but can traverse between them via the interdimensional highway. Timber’s universe is based on the M:XYL series where he’s a Shadow/Sally kid who was had a few years before Sonic and Sally got back together, and Devi’s is based on my ‘reverse au’ where Scourge is Sonic Prime and Sonic is anti-Sonic- she’s the daughter of their clone son. Got it? Good. Here we go.

Wordcount: 1050

Timber groaned, rolling his shoulders as Sonic settled down at the table across from him. His book was splayed open and forgotten mere inches away.

“Slept funny?”

“No, it’s the natural energy of this world.” Timber held up a hand, a yellow flame flaring from his fingers before it twisted around in midair as if someone had blown at it. The color flickered from yellow, to green, to red, then back to yellow. “My body just has to get used to it. It always happens when I’m here for longer than a day.”

“Oh, huh.” Sonic tilted his head to the side. “That sucks.”

“You got moved here from another dimension. How did you deal with it?”

Sonic shrugged, counting off on his fingers. “Between the starvation, the cold stone floors, the electroshocks, and Scourge generally being as much of an asshole as he could, I barely even noticed.”

Timber flinched. Genius move, Acorn. “Oh. Right.”

Sonic set a hand on Timber’s head, scratching a little between the fluffy ears. “It’s fine, that’s all long in the past. If you want, I’m sure the nurse can help- she’s dealt with Devi long enough that I’m sure she knows how to handle interdimensional jetlag.”

“Right…” Timber’s ear twitched before he pulled away from Sonic a little. “Maybe later- mostly it’s just kind of an uncomfortable tingling, nothing painful.”

“That’s good, that’s good.” Sonic nodded. ”Devi still wrapped up in the wedding plans?”

“She’s probably talking poor Annette’s ear off. I’m to go down and make sure that she actually eats in...” He pulled a pocket watch out of one of the pouches on his overcoat. “Half an hour, but she doesn’t want me to see the actual dress until the wedding, and I’ll oblige her that.” He looked back up at Sonic. “So, how is ‘Grandpa’?”

Sonic grinned. “Being kind of pissy you’re moving in, but I wouldn’t worry about it. You can take care of yourself, and you’re going to be family now- he respects that more than you’d think. He actually likes Krysta- she kind of grew on him.”

“It’s still weird to think we’re going to be in-laws.”

“He’ll live. He still adores Dev, and you’re a nice kid.” 

“He hates me. I’m pretty used to people making snap judgements, but I’d like to think I’ve gotten pretty good at bringing people around to at least tolerate me.” Timber slid one of his inhibitors off, rolling it around underneath his index finger. He’d taken to wearing fingerless gloves instead of nothing at all on his hands, and he could feel the energy within the bracelet shifting from the anarcym in the atmosphere. 

“He doesn’t hate you. If he hated you, you’d be dead.”

“Reassuring,” Timber replied dryly. 

“You know…” Sonic thought for a moment. “I think you remind him of his dad.”

“His dad?” Timber raised an eyebrow. “Grandpa Jules? He’s a nice guy, sure, but-”

“It’s a sore spot. This universe is all switched up from yours, remember?” As if Timber could forget, considering he was moving into an alternate version of the same castle he’d grown up in. “I don’t think he was that great to Scourge since he was obsessed with politics, and trying to make the whole world better meant he left his family behind.”

Timber sucked in a breath through his teeth. “Ah. But that’s not-” 

“You said that was part of why you came here, right? To try and help give us a better idea of what running a monarchy should be like, and helping the people?” He shrugged. “I’m not saying that’s the only thing that you’re here for, since I can tell you and Devi are genuinely tight. Honestly, though, you’re staying for the same reason I did.”

Timber jolted. “I thought you were-”

Sonic raised an eyebrow. “You think Scourge could keep me here for forty-five years without me wanting to stay?” Timber just blinked, and Sonic idly ran his fingers over the leather collar around his neck. “He took the shock collar off when we were twenty. There’s a starpost buried in the basement, and plenty of people didn’t like him when we were younger. I could have gotten out if I’d really wanted when he started giving me some more freedoms, but home was completely destroyed, and shoving aside some random Sonic would have probably caused more problems.” He paused. “Especially considering Scourge is the blueprint for what a Sonic should act like, so all his friends would probably be jerks anyway.” 

“Ouch.” Timber winced. “You-”

Sonic waved a hand, dismissing Timber’s concerns before they could even be voiced. “Yeah, yeah, I’ve gotten used to it. I like Scourge now- he really grows on you. Plus, I started helping to reshape things- having a partner that rules the world means I’ve got a lot of power by influencing him. Over the years he’s learned to listen to me- it cuts down on the coup attempts.”

Timber groaned. “I’m going to have to learn to deal with those too, aren’t I? Once the Dark Presence dissipated, we haven’t had too many problems with people grabbing for the throne.”

“Yeah, it doesn’t happen too often anymore, but we’ve got warning systems in place after the time with the knockout gas. You’re a good fighter, Devi says, so you’ll be fine.”

“Oh Chaos,” Timber muttered before straightening up. He’d slumped over at some point.

“We should try a sparring session at some point. If you can fight me, you can fight off any intruder, trust me.”

“It’s not that.” Timber said. “I know I can defend myself, it’s just- still weird realizing I’m going to be staying here long enough to deal with all of this.”

“Hopefully it’ll be forever, if you and Dev don’t drive each other nuts.” He grinned. “We don’t bite unless you ask.” At that, Sonic set a hand on Timber’s shoulder and squeezed. “Just relax. If you ever need somebody to talk to, I’m here, and Krysta is too. Most of the maids are really nice too. I know Scourge, Remy, and even Devi can be kind of a lot at times, but we love them.”

“Yeah, it’ll be worth it,” Timber said, nodding to himself as he stood up, chair grinding against the stone floor. “I’m off to pry my fiancée off her seamstress. Can you tell the cooks to start something?”

Sonic nodded. “Got it. See you later?”

Timber smiled back. “See you later.”

[xayakans]

Temari, Shikamaru, Neji, Rock Lee

god this is my THIRD ATTEMPT TO DO THIS SO IM DOING IT IN WORDS DOC

temari

favorite thing about them: i've written this 3 times!!!! BUT!!!! i love that at the age of FIFTEEN she'd already got the title cruelest konoichi. like. ilu queen. and she's so confident too, like she knows she could wreck anyone's shit, she goes up against MADARA without ever pausing. and i love that whilee on the battlefield she's cruel, as a civillian she's just...lowkey a bitch. like she's scary and people know to fear her but she doesnt actually...bully anyone besides shikamaru. she's also so ride or die for her brothers and i LOVE it.

least favorite thing about them: whatever that ooc mess was that was used to get her and shikamaru together.

favorite line: idk but when she tells madara "don't understimate me!" GO OFF QUEEN

brOTP: gaara and kankuro, 100%. the sand siblings are so fucking good. i could talk all day about them. in the leaf i think she vibes with ino, though she needs Breaks. she didn't like, Get choji at first but the more she got to know him she's like "oh i get it he's just Genuinely Good" and now he's her favorite. i also like to imagine she and karui bonded over not being from the leaf, and also having ino as their sister in law. that's a unique experience okay.

OTP: shikamaru!!!!!!!

nOTP: i dont really have any?? i just can't ship her with anyone but shikamaru, i think he's it for her. temari was never really one to be concerned over romance or anything, it's not something she cared about, and she kind of expected an arranged marriage so she was more focused on Not doing that. but then shikamaru happened and it was like. oh. she actually wouldn't mind spending the rest of her life with him. huh. gross.

random headcanon: i have a lot of Thoughts about temari as a mother. i think that she never planned on being one, just like how she never planned on falling in love. it wasn't opposition, just. her childhood was fucked up, she had no good parental role models, she was much more interested in being a konoichi. but then she and shikamaru got serious and shikamaru is the head of the nara clan and he needed an heir. she agreed to it, in a few years, but shikadai was an oops ! so anyway, temari hated being pregnant lmao which is why they only had shikadai. but once he was born temari is like "oh. i'll kill and die for this child." like shikadai wasn't Real to her until she held him (vs shikamaru, who's been obsessed with that child since temari first started showing). temari actually tried going back to work when shikadai was a year old but pretty quickly she realized "fuck this". temari likes working, a lot, but she also likes being needed and she just likes her kid! so she oversaw all his training from the time he was old enough. it was hard at first, because she's never babied him, but she knew that the training she recieved was uh, not acceptable, so she struggled with what pace was actually okay for his age. hinata and sakura actually helped a lot here- hinata also had Fucked Up training as a child and sakura trained with tsunade who is Insane so they were able to figure out what worked best for their children. GOD THIS GOT LONG. anyway. i love temari and shikadai thank u.

unpopular opinion: i love shikatema so much but she was done so fucking dirty

song i associate with them: hurricane by the fray

favorite picture of them: she always looks so cool

shikamaru

favorite thing about them: god. i hate this but i genuinely love how smart he is and how fucking lazy he is. like how he kept complaing about his match with temari being moved up and then you realize it's because he was relying on the shadows? bitch. he's so cool. and when he pretended to be asleep rather than deal with whatever the fuck orochimaru was doing ESRTYTJU that's when i knew i loved him. but also, i love his development. like he really just wanted to coast through life, didnt want to get involved in anything, just wanted a plain wife and two boring kids. he had absolutely no aspirations. and he never had a ~change of heart~ for his own sake, he just surrounded himself by people who genuinely inspired him and he wanted to be of use to them. l love him!!!

least favorite thing about them: like the misogyny doesn't bother me THAT much because hashtag it could be worse! but it's not good lmao

favorite line: BITCH! "i'm your god" SIR I LOVE YOU. also his line about how he can't die because naruto doesn't have a smart younger brother to help him, and he's the only one capable of being naruto's advisor.

brOTP: ino and asuma are the only Strictly platonic ones but obviously i LOVE his friendships with choji and naruto

OTP: TEMARIIIIIIIII, also choji and naruto.........i'm soft

nOTP: listen. it's not notp but everytime i remember people ship shikaino i'm like "they're siblings???" like no judgement, i have too many fucking ships fandom calls siblings, but their dynamic is SO sibling like to me lmao. also like...shikamaru loves ino and would do anything for her but he does NOT like her ass. you know he avoids her when he's too tired to deal with her bullshit.

random headcanon: LET'S KEEP TALKING ABOUT SHIKADAI. so when shikamaru's dad dies he has a line about how he wasn't around when shikamaru was growing up, and shikamaru obviously doesn't resent him for that, but he does make a concious choice to Not do that. it'd be too easy to get wrapped up in his job, but he won't let himself. he makes sure to make time for shikadai. they play shogi together, and shikamaru is very involved in his training, and even when he's exhausted from work he'll listen to shikadai talk about his day and never show how tired he is. he loves his kid so much, temari makes fun of him for being soft. also when shikadai was a baby shikamaru was lowkey obsessed with him lmao. temari needed Breaks but shikamaru...never really did. even when he was crying he would just hold and bounce him until he calmeed down (also shikamaru was way better at calming shikadai down than temari lmao)

unpopular opinion: listen. is shikamaru misogynistic? yes. but he doesn't like, hate women or think less of them, he just needed to learn that not every woman is as insane as ino. i've seen too many "naruto as vines" videos where it's like shikamaru is like "oh sorry i fell asleep waiting for you to make me a sandwich" like thats not him!

song i associate with them: uh nicotine by P!ATD

favorite picture of them: my header on twitter i guess idk!

neji

favorite thing about them: oh gosh. i genuinely like that he was a fucking angry child. he had every right to be. the hyuuga system is FUCKED! he projected it onto hinata, which wasn't fair to her, but god. he didn't have an outlet and the chunnin exams was his only opportunity to take his anger out on the main branch. anyway i love that after naruto beat his ass he was like "okay maybe i should stop being a prick" and he just. got better. became friends with his team. healed his relationship with hinata. he became so genuinely good

least favorite thing about them: this motherfucker really had me CRYING over him. rude as fuck.

favorite line: i am way too tired to think about this

brOTP: HINATA!!!!!!! also rock lee.

OTP: tenten!

nOTP: hinata. i hate you freaks.

random headcanon: himawari would've been his favorite. like, he loves boruto, that's his nephew, but he's a mini naruto and that's. exhausting. himawari is perfect in neji's eyes though and tenten makes fun of him for it.

unpopular opinion: its' not unpopular but genuinely it's bullshit he died when hinata's dad was RIGHT THERE. like. i will never not be fucking heated that neji died to protect hinata and her dad was just twiddling his goddamn thumbs as it happened. you useless FUCK. god. anyway i also hate that neji's death he just talked to naruto like his speech to naruto was good but we deserved more neji and hinata talking. i also don't like he died for naruhina to happen lmao we've talked about this, someone in the konoha 11 needed to die for naruto to prove obito wrong, and i dont even mind that it was neji, but his death shouldn't have had anything to do with naruhina.

song i associate with them: i dont have one but uhhh i found a neji playlist so i'm gonna say r.i.p 2 my youth by the neighborhood

favorite picture of them: bruh. idc.

rock lee

favorite thing about them: HE'S SO HARD WORKING AND DETERMINED AND NEVER GIVES UP AND HE'S A GENUINELY GOOD AND KIND HEARTED PERSON GOD ROCK LEE I LOVE YOU

least favorite thing about them: WHERE'S HIS SCREENTIME KISHIMOTO

favorite line: dude he's so weird i have no idea

brOTP: neji and tenten!!! and GAI OF COURSE. AND SAKURA. 10/10.

OTP: GAARA.

nOTP: listen there is GENUINELY nothing wrong with it but i dont vibe with rock lee/tenten.

random headcanon: ok this isn't a real headcanon but i made myself laugh yesterday thinking that orochimaru got bored and cloned rock lee and that's where metal lee came from. anyway real headcanon is he's married to gaara in boruto. thank u.

unpopular opinion: shut up about his and gaara's fight oh my GOD i dont care

song i associate with them: uhhhh idk here have a rock lee tribute

favorite picture of them: what's important is his good heart

[raendown]

Pairing: MadaraTobirama Word count: 4216 Chapter: 28/42 Summary: Not all wars are fought on the battlefield. Some are fought at the conference table, with whispers in the shadows, or even in the bedroom.

In a world where the Senju and Uchiha traditional lands were too far apart to have ever made them enemies, Butsuma and Tajima are the ones who come together and sign a treaty of peace. Madara isn’t happy to have his life signed away for him in a political marriage to strengthen the bond between their clans. He is even less happy to have Tobirama make assumptions of him from their very first night together. What follows from there is a journey of healing, of learning, and finding the places to belong in the places least expected.

Follow the link or read it under the cut!

KO-FI and commission info in the header!

Chapter 28

“I’m sorry, could you repeat that?” Tobirama blinked slowly once, twice, unsure if he could trust that his ears had heard what he thought he’d just heard. His day had been going so well until his father-in-law approached him.

“You are a terrible influence on my son,” Tajima snarled at him a second time. “I do not like what you’ve turned him in to.”

“Madara is not a man so easily influenced.” A lake in winter would have had less ice than Tobirama’s tone, unimpressed with what those words implied about his husband. Whether he had any influence on Madara or not his partner was a man who followed his own moral code and a few months of marriage was hardly enough to change him so drastically. He was the same person now as he had always been. At most the biggest difference would be that he had a few new experiences under his belt.

Narrowing his eyes impossibly further, Tajima took another menacing step forward until their faces were nearly pressed together, looming as best he could with his shorter stature. “Remember your place, boy. Madara is my heir and you are no longer of the Senju line. You are what I say you are – and I say that your influence has made my son rebellious. He’s forgotten his own place since you came in to our lives.”

“What, his place doing everything and anything you tell him to without question?” Tobirama straightened his spine to make the most of those few extra inches between them.

“I am his father. He owes me his obedience.”

“He’s allowed to have his own thoughts and opinions.”

“And he should keep them to himself. Madara will not be clan head until I step down. Both of you should remember that I also have the power to pass leadership of this clan to another if I deem him unfit.”

Tajima lifted one eyebrow as though to drive his point home but Tobirama was having none of that.

“You would be a fool,” he snapped.

He realized in the next moment that he perhaps should have used a bit more tact when Tajima’s face turned white with rage but he couldn’t bring himself to regret saying it. Harsh words against himself were nothing more than he had been dealing with his entire life, easy to shrug off. Speaking against his husband was not allowed. Especially not when Madara hadn’t done anything to warrant such distrust from his own father and clan head.

Nearly apoplectic and rendered silent by it, Tajima could do nothing but splutter ineffectively as Tobirama spun on his heel and marched away, jaw clenched as tightly as his fists. His father’s office was still empty when he passed it, just as it had been when he came up to the top floor to speak with Butsuma about some files he’d been asked to locate, and it was a good thing that no one was there to witness either of their unsightly temper tantrums. Few people in his life had managed to be as insulting as that conversation had just been.

By the time he reached the ground floor Tobirama had reined himself in enough that his face was smooth and presentable for the public once more. He did his best to close out the rest of the world as he made his way out of the tower in a straight line towards the eastern wall of the village where one of the patrol towers had twice as many chakra signatures as usual. Touka granted him one long look when he rounded the corner before eventually nodding, hefting the naginata she always carried with her when she was on duty.

“You’re lucky,” she called at his approach. “The shift just changed over. Where are we going?”

“Anywhere that has enough room for us to grind each other in to the dirt.”

“Right.” Gesturing almost politely with her blade, Touka indicated the path towards one of the open patches of forest outside the village borders where some of the more violent spars tended to take place. It caused less anxiety for the civilians to keep the worst of their stress relief habits as far away as possible.

It chafed not to jump right in to what he needed the moment they arrived at the nearest clearing but Tobirama forced himself to scrounge up just a little more patience. Stretching was important and he knew that. Injuring himself now by jumping in to a spar without readying his body would only increase his frustrations and leave him with even less options with which to vent them. Together he and his cousin loosened their legs and arms, their backs and necks, and even went through a series of wrist exercises because holding one’s weapon would only be effective so long as the hand didn’t cramp and drop it.

Finally after what felt like three times longer than the ten minutes it had actually been Touka returned to an upright position and grabbed her naginata. Tobirama was up and falling in to a ready stance almost before she could turn back to face him. With a cocky smirk she dared him to come at her.

So he did.

Without even having to discuss any rules or limitations they both ignored their combined arsenal of jutsu and other abilities in favor of steel and muscle. Naginata met kunai, calves were blocked with forearms, heels met hips, all without any quarter being given. Teeth gritted and muscles locked, the two of them strove against each other while Touka laughed as she almost always did in battle. Rather than causing distraction Tobirama found it actually helped cool his blood to listen to such a familiar quirk. Anger still simmered just under the surface but it was easier to ground himself here with his favorite cousin and let the sound of her crazed laughter wash away just a little of what Tajima had said to him.

Ducking under a leg aiming for his head gave him something to concentrate on besides the memory of Tajima’s sneer. Twisting to one side and driving a fist towards Touka’s liver gave him something to do instead of tracking the man down and doing the same. Listening to the ring of steel as he diverted the path of the naginata coming at his neck used up the frenetic energy that otherwise might have been used to scream.

Sweat on his brow and muscles singing with the chance to let loose for a while, Tobirama realized that he was still a little bit too emotional when he overextended a punch and found his face down in the dirt with Touka’s weight on his back.

“Yield,” she demanded. He tapped the earth twice because he wasn’t stupid and then rolled over once she released the pressure.

“Again.”

So they fought again. And again. Despite the sweat gathering on her own brow Touka’s grin only grew more and more vicious as the hours wore on. Some fights he won and others she did, mercy granted only when it was asked for, but when the two of them finally tumbled down to their knees together and called that round a tie they were fairly even. Tobirama checked to make sure there were no other signatures nearby before allowing his body to flop backwards and spread out across what was left of the cool grass.

In what was probably a last-ditch attempt to come out the ultimate victor somehow, Touka waited until her breathing had stopped rasping worryingly in her throat and then flopped one arm out to strike him weakly in the chest.

“Take that,” she grumbled.

“Careful,” Tobirama warned her, “or I’ll start talking about feelings.”

From the corner of one eye he could see her shuddering. “My worst nightmare,” she declared.

He had every intention of leaving his threat as just that with no follow through, of not bothering Touka with his emotional upheaval when he was well aware that she handled such things even worse than he did. Those intentions were all well and good until he scowled up at the sky above them and spoke without thinking.

“At least you don’t have Tajima for a father-in-law. That is a nightmare. Every time he opens his mouth I have to swallow the urge to put my blade inside it.”

“Being a dick again?” she asked. Tobirama snorted.

“I am, according to him, a terrible influence on my husband. He wants his own son to be nothing but an obedient slave, never questioning orders and never voicing an original thought! He’d be better off having a pet if that’s what he wants!” His poor heart hadn’t even had time to slow down to a proper steady beat before it kicked off again as he felt himself getting riled up just thinking about it. Already he was itching for another fight.

Turning her head to consider him, Touka hummed. “Or you could teach him how to make your solid clones.”

“Hmph. As if I would waste something that took so much effort on someone like him.”

“Fair enough. He wastes the very air he breathes, doesn’t he?”

Tobirama huff with startled amusement. “Indeed. Honestly I can’t decide if it upsets me more that he cares so little for his own children or that I can’t bring myself to be surprised by it. It’s not as though I had a warm childhood myself. Sometimes Tajima reminds me so much of my own father that I can’t remember which is which.”

“Easy,” Touka mumbled. “The uglier one is ours.”

Blinking slowly, Tobirama looked over at his cousin for a moment as he chewed that over. The moment their eyes met they burst in to laughter as one. With one simple sentence he was doubly glad that he’d chosen to go to his cousin to vent what he needed to, grateful that he hadn’t subjected himself to another one of Hashirama's painfully optimistic pacifist speeches. Sometimes he truly pitied his own brother for still clinging to shadows of the love they had once held for a father that never bothered to return such affection.

After the laughter faded Tobirama struggled to force his body up in to a sitting position and lifted both arms above his head, hoping he could trick his tired muscles in to some cool down stretches. With the chance of a second temper tantrum nipped in the bud he felt much calmer and ready to go home without fear that he might snap and demand Madara explain what the hell was wrong with his father. He would almost definitely be relaying some parts of the incredibly insulting argument but now that he wasn’t so ready to fly off the handle he would be able to phrase his retelling in a less hurtful way – hopefully. Tobirama knew he wasn’t always the best at softening a blow.

Instead of making them both uncomfortable with a heartfelt thank you Tobirama reached out and returned the strike she had landed on him before with a soft thump against one shoulder.

“You can go home now, I’m done with you,” he announced.

“Oh I see how it is!” she grumbled halfheartedly, still not making any moves to get up. “Use me and lose me! That’s nice!”

“I’m not sorry.”

“Good riddance to your worthless hide,” she called out to the sky, lips still grinning with too many teeth.

Nodding once as he struggled up on to his feet, Tobirama offered her a wave in a flippantly dismissive manner. “I hope not to see you at the end of the week. Hashirama's invited us both over for dinner on Friday. Do try not to darken the doorstep.”

Touka swore up and down that she would beat him there and stay until he left, forcing him to cough so he wouldn’t smile. Nothing made him feel quite as content as having all of his precious people in one room for a pleasant evening together. It was nice to know that she could make it as well.

Waved off with a callous “Get out of here!” Tobirama staggered out of the clearing and cast his senses outward as he did so, reassuring himself there was no danger in allowing Touka to rest in the clearing alone until she felt ready to stand again. Clearing the outer walls of the village was a little harder with his body screaming in exhaustion but he still managed – and made a note to have Madara increase the drills for his security squads as he slipped through entirely unnoticed by the ones who were meant to be patrolling this quadrant. Sloppy, very sloppy.

Calm settled deeper and deeper in to his bones the closer he got to home until he found himself almost smiling at the prospect of seeing Madara again. Halfway down the road from their house he stopped in his tracks, all that calm vanishing in an instant and every muscle in his body tensing for a battle he was too tired to fight. Eyes narrowed and fists clenched again.

Tajima was in their home.

Even without his sensing abilities active he could feel that much from where he was, chakra reaching out absently to sweep the area out of sheer habit. Tajima’s chakra was not a welcome one to find in his home. Very few people would be and Tajima was definitely not on that list. Tobirama struggled to keep his face from showing any sort of reaction, only continuing forward when he was sure he wasn’t wearing his intense dislike visibly in any way that might upset Madara before he even had a chance to ask the reason for such an unusual visit. It was hard to recall the last time the man was in their home for anything even slightly resembling a personal visit – or at all. Generally if he wished to speak to his sons he would call them in to his office. Yet another way he and Butsuma were eerily similar.

Stepping in to the house felt a lot like stepping in to a potential warzone with how tightly he was holding his own body but he felt vindicated in his wariness when Madara's voice reached him from where both Uchiha men sat just out of sight in the living room.

“You can’t do that to him,” his voice drifted down the hall. “You can’t do that to either of them!”

“I am within my right and you will remember who you are speaking to.”

“But–!”

Tobirama kicked off his shoes with little care, aware that announcing his presence had paused their conversation. He entered the living room to find that neither of them were sitting as he expected but were standing on the far side of the room facing each other with surprisingly aggressive body language.

“Anata,” he greeted his husband, swallowing down the instinctual shame of being so familiar in the presence of another just for the pleasure of seeing rage flit across their guest’s face.

“Perhaps you have forgotten your manners, boy, but it is the elders and betters that one greets first upon entering a room.” Tajima lifted one eyebrow but whatever apology he obviously thought he might get never came. Instead Tobirama remained pointedly silent until his snub was realized.

He would have greeted his betters if only there were any betters here to greet.

Deliberately turning away as though to head in to the kitchen, he was stopped when Tajima spoke again, face pinched white with so much anger it was a wonder his head hadn’t begun to smoke yet.

“This is exactly the kind of disrespect I was talking about,” the man declared, addressing his words to Madara without taking his eyes off of Tobirama. “Is this sort of boorish behavior truly the kind we want rubbing off on our own young? Can we trust him to teach when he is obviously not mature enough to do so?”

“What are you implying?” Tobirama asked in a deathly quiet voice. A hot flash of dread rippled down his spine at the thin smile of triumph that appeared on Tajima’s face.

“You were the one who encouraged this ‘academy’ idea and yet I find it curious that you have not yet volunteered your own student to attend. How are we meant to convince other parents and guardians to allow their children to take part in this grand new venture if you, one of the instigators of the whole thing, will not do so as well? How terribly telling.”

Unable to speak around the horror rising in his throat, Tobirama could see the train wreck coming towards him and yet he could do nothing to stop it as Tajima continued with cruel pleasure.

“As clan head I hereby declare that Kagami will attend this new academy. Let the Uchiha not be seen to distrust the ideas we ourselves put forward. Effective today you are no longer sensei to young Kagami but will instead give your attention to the duties which are already yours as you should have been doing all along. Is that clear?” One jagged eyebrow lifted and Tajima cocked his head, full of arrogance and visibly delighted to have the upper hand.

“I have made my training open and visible,” Tobirama choked out, a ball of desperation inside of him that refused to go unheard even as he watched the light of hope go out before his very eyes. “Not once have I had any dissatisfaction expressed to me regarding my work for the village or my curriculum for training with Kagami – all done during my own time.”

“Which I’m sure you would agree is not nearly enough. I believe it was you would spoke in favor of the academy offering students the chance to form bonds with their fellow budding shinobi and benefit from the exposure to more than just the single narrow views of one instructor.”

“Doesn’t the bond they’ve already formed mean anything?” Madara jumped in.

Still not taking his eyes away from the one he was celebrating triumph over, Tajima scoffed lightly. “What is one bond when compared to the opportunities of standardized education? We wouldn’t want Kagami to fall behind his peers, now would we? I wonder, could your husband live with himself if it was his fault Kagami grew up…lacking?”

Tobirama couldn’t tell if his body was hot or cold but he understood the sensation of panic, sharp and clawing under his skin, railing inside for him to scream the man down because Kagami was his, Kagami belonged with him, and yet he couldn’t. He couldn’t because Tajima was right that it would be selfish of him to deny Kagami the same opportunities that he advocated so strongly for others. Could he say he cared for Kagami if he was selfishly holding the child back from taking the best paths to support his future?

Feeling as though he had finally discovered the true meaning of helplessness, Tobirama swallowed and forced himself to keep looking Tajima in the eye. It hurt, of course it did, but he refused to allow this man to see him as weak in any way. With his heart beating double time and his eyes burning he lifted his chin with absolutely no expression to give away the inner turmoil battering at his insides.

“If that is Tajima-sama’s order,” he said with an even voice. Madara gaped at him.

“That is my order – and you will obey it.” Despite having won there was still a flash of disappointment on Tajima’s face for not getting the reaction he wanted.

“Kagami will be informed of your decision tomorrow. Will Tajima-sama be staying for dinner?”

As he’d thought would happen, his coldly polite offer was refused with a jerk of the man’s head. “No. Madara, I will see you in my office first thing in the morning. Clearly I have not been strict enough in readying you for the duties of a clan head; I will make a proper heir of you yet.”

He didn’t seem to take note of the way Madara's face flushed with even more anger, jaw working apoplectically yet unable to express how very offended he was, either because he was beyond words or because he just didn’t want to make the current situation any worse. Neither of them moved to see their guest out or even so much as turned their heads to watch him go but Tajima chose not to comment on such rude behavior. He had what he had come here for.

In the wake of his destructive visit Tobirama felt almost like the ground were moving and swaying under his feet. Until their partnership was threatened he hadn’t truly understood how deeply he’d bonded with Kagami and now he would lose that. Not entirely, of course, because Kagami would still be welcome in their home anytime should he choose to come visit, but it simply wouldn’t be the same. No more afternoons spent imparting his wisdom, no more hours watching with pride as he helped to shape Kagami in to the man he knew the boy would grow to be. In their place would be the cold distance of a relative watching from afar and commenting with each visit how much the boy had grown since last they spoke.

“Tobirama?” A hand appeared on his arm and when he blinked the sandy feeling in his eyes told him that he had perhaps been staring off in to space without blinking for too long.

“He…I wasn’t expecting that.”

“Neither was I. Come, sit down.”

Madara pulled gently until Tobirama allowed himself to be gathered on to the sofa, loose-limbed and doll-like in the way he allowed his husband to manipulate his body. In short order he found himself tucked in to one corner with a blanket around his shoulders and a gentle hand carding through his hair. The sensation was soothing but not nearly as distracting as one might hope.

“We’ll figure this out.”

“There is nothing to figure out,” Tobirama declared, quiet and firm. “He’s right. And there is nothing I have in my power to stop him from making such a decision. He is, as he said, head of the clan.”

“But it’s not right!”

“It’s done.” Closing his eyes, Tobirama drew air in to his lungs until he could hold no more, then very slowly let it back out.

Madara snorted and grumbled under his breath but his hand did not falter in its repetitive strokes. “I’ll sic my own sensei on him,” he muttered in a dire tone. It very nearly broke through the haze to make Tobirama smile. Nearly.

For a long time the two of them sat in silence. It was nice to know that Madara was not on his father’s side in this, though it was equally as saddening to know that as time went on his husband lost more and more faith in his own parent. As much as Tobirama thought Tajima deserved no less he still would never have wished to be a part of that. To lose faith in family was a pain he understood all too well, something he would not curse on any but his most mortal enemies, and even though he hated Tajima to the bone he still wished there was a way for Madara to salvage the bonds he obviously yearned for still.

Or at least he would have liked to find a way to keep those bonds alive while also burying Tajima in a deep dark hole impossible to climb out from where he would never be able to ruin another life again.

“He shouldn’t be able to just do this,” Madara said, distracted and almost seeming to talk to himself.

“But he can in the current power systems. There’s no recourse here so just put it down.”

“Well there should be!”

“Madara”-Tobirama’s voice was tired and he could hear it but not fix it-“drop it. Please. There is nothing to be done and talking about it right now will not help.”

Finally his husband’s fingers paused as the man seemed to realize he was only making things worse by letting himself continue to stay worked up. Gentle strokes were replaced with a single soft kiss against the side of his head. “I’m sorry. You’re right. How about you come with me in to the kitchen and I can distract you with nonsense conversation while I cook dinner?”

“Could we just stay here for a little bit first?” Tobirama blinked away the remainder of the fog in his mind, finally looking over at the man beside him. He closed his eyes when Madara granted him a soft smile and brushed the fringe away from his face.

“Of course; as long as you like.”

When Madara tucked up under his chin without another word at last Tobirama was able to find it in himself to smile. It took a bit of shuffling but he managed to twist himself enough for Madara to lay against his chest where he could get both arms around the man and hold tightly to the one thing he hoped Tajima would never try to take away from him.

That was one battle he was prepared to fight until death.

[thejokertalks]

WHY DO YOU MAKE INAPPROPRIATE JOKES, ASSHOLE?

You know I have reached a stage where sometimes I joke about things so that people roll their eyes, get a little shocked, taken aback and then after a few more thumps get used to the fact that it's ok to joke about everything and bring those conversations, no wait.. bring conversations to people’s living rooms.

We have been brought up in manner where we have been taught that there are things you can say, things that are acceptable and you must only say those and stick to those and if you have inappropriate thoughts / jokes you should keep them to yourselves. There is an old saying "If you don't have anything good to say don't say it". This is the first step to censorship and an individualistic avtar of what has resulted in a culmination of 3 billion people choosing right winged governments who are methodically and stepwise deconstructing and demolishing the sheer institutions of democracy and making a mockery of free speech which we as people are watching without realizing.

The need to be liked, the need to be accepted though evolutionary has brought us to a stage where we have accepted that it's ok to not speak our minds and we are infact scared of speaking our minds. What if we are made fun of? What if someone bullies us into submission? being disliked. We are concerned about these at a micro level. At a macro level, we are busy thinking "aah but he's from my caste. Oh but I am not gay why does it matter to me? So what if he beat his wife? I don't beat my wife that's my contribution. That's enough. That’s my contribution" No it's not enough. It's never enough. From Nirbhaya's rape to the blatantly visible glass ceiling which we choose to ignore, from mental health to impotency, from standing up to your parents and answering back when you believe you are right without the fear of being disrespectful and / or getting slapped to law and order situations. The problem in my opinion is not actually the wrongdoing but the inability to hold a conversation, the inability to speak, the inability to listen, the inability to debate and the inability accept and adapt.

2019 elections are here. Everyone is talking about things which they believe are the most important plots in the elections-Political advertisements spend, Mamata Bannerjee jokes, Raga being what he is, modi being what he is, bhakts, aaptards, EVM tampering, air pollution, caste based politics, special status to Andhra/Telangana, reservation, rafale deal etc. These are all important, no doubt but they are all sub plots. The real problem is the autocracy of one man, the systematic disintegration of constitutional powers, the judiciary and most importantly the 4th estate-the media. Not that the Congress was much better when it setup NAC as an advisory council which was basically a shadow parliament with a questionable prime minister. But right now that's not the problem. Unfortunately, no one is talking about or worrying about the right to dissent, the right to speak because it doesn't affect us at a level where we can see a visible difference, unless ofcourse we are going to jail for sharing cartoons or memes.

Yes, we are evolving as humans at a rapid pace but as a society, as a culture though evolving we are doing it at a much slower pace, if at all. We had reformers and scientists centuries ago who we read about even today but are unable to follow them and their teachings. Moreover, right now our times, even with much easier modes of communication are unable to provide reformers and work that can be put at the same level as the greats of yesteryears. Why is that I wonder? Surely we are smarter than people back in the day. Could it be that we are too busy creating clones who need to think and think again before talking? It is a possibility. Anyhow I digress, in a line, if I have to summarise the scenario it would be “We can reach Mars but we can't talk about their being 0 women and 20 male dignitaries on stage at a lit fest.”

By the way this in no way means that people can say anything and that the right to free speech is absolute. No. The basic rights, innocent unless proven guilty and not otherwise, social media trials, vigilante justice etc is all wrong. However, my point is that people should be allowed to say anything they want and then face the consequences of the same. You make a defamatory statement you get sued, you cheat someone you get sent to jail.  Even in case of defamation no one sends 10 goons to hit you they take you to court or in case of a different point of view they argue it out passionately. In case of children you help them understand the necessity of reading and then taking a decision and urge them to argue and talk. Yes there may be certain amount of censorship to take care of kids but that is possibly the only time when censorship should be allowed. Adults should not and must not be censored. Give them time to learn and censor themselves when required. DO NOT CENSOR ADULTS. DO NOT STOP DISSENT. DO NOT STOP CONVERSATION. TALK.

Personally, I myself am guilty of putting people down and shutting them up maybe even bullying them just like I have been guilty of not speaking my mind and of body shaming, fat shaming people, blatantly sexist remarks and many other social evils but I am now more aware and though I cannot change all of it and will make major mistakes in the future as well because of how I have been brought up and what I have seen but atleast i can try to normalise these stigmatic conversations wherever possible. People won't listen to sermons and I am not going to make them because well.. I don’t have the brains for that and nor do I have the qualities to make people listen to me, what I believe I am good at is that I can make jokes just like I can take jokes and if thanks to me 5 people can make and take jokes of all kinds then that's going to be my contribution. If thanks to me today people get uncomfortable listening to me making glass ceiling jokes and then questioning the matter in their office or make jokes on CASHD which makes people think about it and realise what might be wrong and question it and talk about it, the victims who would have faced certain problems not having that mental stigma of not being able to talk being able to talk even slightly more openly and normalising, humanising and talking about everything under the sun I believe I would evolve from being just a meme vigilante to a happy man, a JOKER.