#Like I'm talking about...
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Sliding into existence to let y'all know I've been backing up my blog recently!
It's been almost a week and it still isn't done... Perhaps that's what happens when you've a) never backed up a blog and b) had the blog in question since 2011. I'm terribly disorganized when it concerns this sort of thing lol
#nikki-tine#blog#tumblr backup#I would love to receive the zip file anyday now#especially given the state of tumblr's running staff recently#I just want to make sure I don't lose my almost 15 years of stuff lol#there's some things I posted to this site that I've lost elsewhere and will not be able to find otherwise#so having it archived will be lovely#Like I'm talking about...#some of my oldest stuff here was also posted to Twitpic when that was still running.#And that was around 2011/2012 for frame of reference
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as a child there's nothing cooler than a kid who gets subjected to evil experiments and gains special abilities. it's even cooler if these abilities also cause unfathomable suffering to use/against others. children love stories like this.
#I'm talking about max ride flatmate is watching spy x family#reminiscing on my multiple stories and ocs about this like truly#I think this might not be as universal as i think but if you liked max ride it probably was. my main oc as a tiny child was#a girl who grew up to be an unethical scientist who loved experimenting on humans and children. she could turn into a flying purple wolf bt#maximum ride
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can't believe we're all adults being forced into the club penguin level of censorship in 2024
#ramble#if you say unalive in front of me i will personally kill you with my hands#you just can't muffle and censor and hold someone's hand through some things#some things are horrible. and they should be spoken aloud and they should upset you. because they are horrible#the second we started kidzbopifying the world was the end of taking anything seriously i think#i'm not even joking i've spoken to people older than me who won't even say the world sex#this isn't the playground you're not going to get in trouble just let us say the word!!!!!!#how am i supposed to listen to you when you won't even say the thing you're supposed to be talking about#yes this is the fault of the platforms with their censorship rules but the fact that we all just go along with it like it's not dystopian#you do know it doesn't stop with cursing right. people are already having to censor queer terms because they get flagged as inappropriate
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Keep seeing that post where OP starts like 'Thinking about...grieving the undead' and then adds on about like. Real life situations where people have not died but have left your life and you would have reason to grieve them.
All respect, that's an important concept, but that is not what I am thinking about when I read 'grieving the undead'.
#your brother is a vampire. he's sitting across the table from you chatting with your mother about her day#and he's dead and he's gone and he's never coming back.#he laughs the same and he talks the same but his arm is cold when he grabs you in a headlock and your dog won't be in the same room with hi#he'll still hang around watching TV with you and give you wedgies and make stupid jokes#but you can't tell him about the bullies at school anymore because this thing with your brother's face will just find them and kill them.#and not even stupid fucking Jason deserves what the monster in your dead brother's skin would do to him.#your brother is dead and lost and right there in arm's reach and gone forever with no hope of ever getting him back.#i'm sure there are corollaries to be written about like ghosts and zombies but this is the one i'm personally hung up on recently
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People liking your personal OCs is still such a crazy feeling, I've been doing this for years and ppl asking about them still fills my entire heart with warmth and idk how to handle it
You enjoy this fictional guy I made up for fun?? Whose only content is random artwork or writing made by me and a handful of other artists at most? They have no show/book/game with a large fandom, it's just one person with an art blog?? I love u
#i do the same to others OCs I like I will ask all about em#if its my friends OC they probably have a free seat in my brain#kott talks#edit: ppl tagging this post with how personal and important their characters are to them as creators#and positive feedback hits deep because of it#I see you and I'm so happy for u
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I feel like the age of having a "burner email" is gone. Out of curiosity,
#emails#i know this is a boring question but im curious#my mom was thrown off when i told her i have burner emails when i shop online so i don't get my personal email stolen/sold#i remember in like 2010s internet i feel like it was weirder to NOT have burner emails#but i don't hear anyone talk about them anymore so i'm curious#but if people are using tiktok and chat-gpt as search engines then maybe burner emails haven't even crossed their minds
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The greatest injustice ever faced is that I almost certainly started the still thriving "clown husbandry" tag on here, but any discussion about it (from a know your meme page to a youtube video with 500k views) says it's a joke of "unknown origin" or credited to this post, likely bouncing off of mine (which was actively circulating at the time with like 30k notes):
This is a tragedy for many reasons, most of all because it wasn't just an offhand joke but actually a direct response to some of the funniest online hate I ever got:
They're erasing the truest history of tumblr: its desperate need to seethe and argue over every obvious joke with more than 10 notes.
anyways here is the canonical pet clown. according to me
#but tumblr... i am pagliacci#clown husbandry#look strange aeons on youtube. i know you browse this tag.#I don't respect your 2011 tumblr core take on steven moffat#but I will forgive it when you right this wrong#EDIT: a few people think i'm saying i originated the concept of referring to a clown like an animal#i didn't. i mean i made this really specific joke about exotic animal husbandry and a lot of mutuals bounced off of it with similar jokes#and that's what people started tagging 'clown husbandry'#to this day when you look for the origins a lot of mutual's names (who also kept chickens/pigeons/reptiles/etc) pop up because of this#talking tag
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i have such a love for characters who descend into madness or villainy out of deep, deep empathy. characters who fundamentally cannot cope with the cruel realities they find themselves in and blow up about it in spectacular fashion. fallen angel type characters with tears of outrage in their eyes. characters who break before they bend, and break so badly they splatter blood all over their noble ideals. every variation on it gets me so good
#getou suguru#kaneki ken#abyss twin#i know there are others who im not thinking of rn#feel free to reblog with more examples#aphelion.txt#tropes#WAIT I REMEMBERED MORE#jaina proudmoore#dimitri alexandre blaiddyd#phosphophyllite#i just spent like half an hour trying to find this on tv tropes but it must be. Too specific of a thing i have in mind bc#I just kept finding similar and related but too broad categories#despair event horizon. fallen hero. well intentioned extremist. etc etc etc#like specifically i'm talking about when the character's EMPATHY is the CRUX of the problem. sosooo crunchyjuicytasty#edit:#also just know that i am reading every tag on this post#and enthusiastically scribbling down the names i dont recognizr#so i can check out their series later#edit 2 wow this post blew up 🫡 godspeed fellow villain likers#the amount of people tagging this as 'me lmao' is concerning to me#wwx#how did i fucking forget this was also yllz era wwx
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Today in vc we discussed the concept of a gmod funeral so I drew my interpretation.
#art talks about stuff#unlabelled drawing tag#the name of this piece is ''gm_funeral'' if you wanted to know#i was going to add more colour/detail but i like the minimalism here#and i'm lazy#id in alt text#garry's mod#gmod#<- this has like 10k notes it's time i main tag it i guess
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Farcille is so interesting to me because at first it comes off as a very fluffy ship but the more you reread the series the more you realize they actually have some serious baggage to work through before they could believably be in a romantic relationship… but that baggage has nothing to do with the necromancy or the accidental transformation or the violations of the in-universe Geneva Convention or the (SPOILERS) cannibalism (/SPOILERS) and everything to do with Marcille treating Falin like she’s a Precious Moments figurine
#Dungeon Meshi#falin touden#marcille donato#farcille#but it's romantic isn't it?#Dungeon Meshi spoilers#(hello folks from Reddit and Twitter i'm glad you like my post)#(2 things: first Precious Moments figurines refer to that one brand of sad-eyed porcelain figurine)#(you might have a grandma or religious friend of the family who owns some)#(second: “but it's romantic isn't it?” is my personal Farcille tag)#(i sometimes like coming up with special tags for characters or relationships i reblog or talk about a lot)#(this one is a quote of Marcille's from a manga omake that i think is relevant to her and Falin)#(it's about grapes)#(it's relevant i promise)
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i keep thinking about how rfk said that autistic people "will never write a poem." i keep thinking about that, about if humanity is calculated on the back of old verse. how far we measure personhood is in baseball and stanza breaks.
i keep thinking - i have over 7k poems on here alone. language can be a special interest, after all. did you know the word autism comes almost direct from the greek word autos, meaning "self"? self-ism.
maybe he is right - i haven't really played baseball. i was a ballet dancer instead. and besides - my sister once accidentally hit me in the face with an aluminum bat. i'm not sure if the injury gives me half points. am i only a person in the dugout? hand in a mitt? swinging?
does softball count? does cricket? am i a person if i throw the ball to my dog. am i a person as long as the ball is in the air, or do i stop being a person as it rolls into the bushes. i took my girlfriend to fenway recently; was i a person in the sun, with my hands up, with the game laid out at my feet in a diamond. i felt like a person, but that was back in the summer, and i often feel my most person-like then.
am i more of a person because of the sheer number of things i've written? does quality matter, or is it quantity? i used to write entire books every summer in high school - i wasn't doing well. i felt the least like-a-person back then. but then - does any person feel human in high school?
in the library, ink on my skin, i feel personhood shutter at the edges of myself. actually, writing feels blissfully like not being myself. it feels birdlike; escaping into creation so my body dissolves and i survive only by muscle memory. i am not there, i am writing.
but who can deny the falconlike focus of warsan shire, the tenderness of mary oliver, the sheer skill of amanda gorman. those are poets. they are certainly human. you could line them up with the way their words have influenced us and measure their literary shadows like wings.
perhaps it was very assumptive of me to want to be a poet rather than "a [ label ] poet." i wanted the work to fill itself in, rather than be stained by what i am. i do not write in despite of my neurodivergence, i am just neurodivergent and writing.
does the poem have to be in english or can i send it through my palms into the coat of my dog. does the poem have to make sense. does the poem have to love you back.
if i break a glass, will the poem appear naturally? or is the act of breaking the glass human-enough. the shards of my life glittering out beneath me - do i have to write the poem, or is it self-evident in the pile of glass splinters? i cannot grasp this world the way other people can. regardless, i endeavor to touch - even the mess - very gently.
i broke my toenail against my coffee table recently. i released a bug outdoors. i made coffee. i walked my dog.
i didn't write a poem about any of these things.
something else, then. existing without humanity.
#how many poems would one have to write to walk through the gates of their own humanity#so it is just writing and not a miracle.#as if writing is ever anything except miracle - all creation is divine.#writeblr#poetry#i am almost certain i have written more poetry than most members of the presidential cabinet#so maybe i am MORE human?#... but alas.#perhaps BECAUSE i'm a poet- i do not like the idea of measuring my own humanity against theirs#they are people. many terrible people are unfortunately still people.#i know i cannot touch this world in the same way other people can.#but i still.... i lay down in the glass shards#i let it into my hair.#i don't like talking about this part of me and i rarely write poems about it.#it is sharp here. i thought that you liked how sharp it is for me. you've been running your hands through the blood#when it was painful enough.... even YOU might have called it poetry
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there's this horrible school of attempted literary criticism on here that holds that 1. everything in any given author's work is autobiographical, especially if it seems "real" and 2. those themes seeped into the work subconsciously, revealing something about the author that they're either trying to hide or unaware of themself. it drives me up a wall, since it seems to deny the fundamental skills that make people good writers: the empathy to imagine and portray experiences that one hasn't had oneself and the ability to take one's personal emotional experiences or worldview and fold them, consciously, into the unworked clay of a narrative.
#there's a tolkien post that's the bane of my fucking existence -#it's something like 'wwi was normal for me anyway here's a book about how war changes you forever'#and i don't know why you'd think 1. that he didn't know wwi was painful for him#2. that those themes are *unintentional*#anyway it comes up lots of other places -#the 'naive' or 'artless' work is Truer & so This Happened Accidentally#not 'someone thought about this and did it skillfully so it's good'#i'm spiteful today sorry#god i have so many mean thoughts about this tendency vs. the way people talk about ai art
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Hey now, Let her cook!
#dungeon meshi#chilchuck tims#senshi#laios touden#marcille donato#izutsumi#oyasumi punpun#<- In case you are wondering what the source for the little bird guy is.#Yeah that's right. I'm back to my extremely obscure crossover BS.#Punpun is one of those series that falls under the category of 'Good! but I cannot responsibly recommend this to anyone."#If Dungeon Meshi is like a friend asking you to go on a quick errand and you accidently go on a life changing roadtrip -#Punpun is your friend asking to go on a quick errand and they pull up to the vet and tell you your dog is being put down.#Then they explode into sludge. Melting your car. You hitchhike back but the person who picked you up is an axe murderer.#I could not finish it. My friends who did say it was good. But agree it was for the best I did not finish it.#Hey speaking of tone twists...We are one episode away from one of my favourite chapters being animated!#WHO'S READY FOR THE SENSHI BACKSTORY! WHO IS READY TO CRY!#ME! I AM! I spooked my flatmate with how energetic I was this morning. I'm vibrating with energy I was not designed to contain.#I should talk about today's episode here: It was very good. I love how they animated the familiars.#And!!! Anime only people now are in the loop on the Chilchuck lore. Part 1 of many. He still contains multitudes.#They all do to be honest! If this episode told us anything it was that we still don't know these characters as well as we think!#See you guys next week. I'll be inconsolable.
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people are drawing Steamboat Willie Mickey doing all this crazy shit and whatnot, but you could always do that. you can do that now, with current Mickey, just fine. it's fanart and it's legally protected. hell you could take Disney-drawn Mickey and put a caption about unions or whatever on it and it would still be protected under free speech and sometimes even parody law.
what is special about public domain is that you can SELL him. you could take a screenshot and sell it on a tshirt. you can use him to advertise your plumbing business. people have already uploaded and monetized the original film.
you could always have Mickey say what you want, but now you can profit off it.
#steamboat willie#Mickey mouse#Disney#public domain#you can't trademark him as like a logo or mascot of your plumbing business i just mean like#you can slap him in your commercial or side of the van#i just have seen soooo many people make ORIGINAL art of him and I'm like#no that's not the point!! you can already do that!!!#(obvs if it's a comic or something talking about him being free or whatever then yeah like i get it)#(but those people who put him as a fighter in their game?? Quinton reviews uploading the original video?? boss shit)#(THAT'S what it's about)
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A h-heartfelt reunion..?
Bonus
#Sir Crocodile#Monkey D Dragon#Emporio Ivankov#Dragodile#Crocodad#My art#One Piece#We're not gonna talk about the work I should be doing rn I have Severe Procrastinitis and I'm doing my best okay#Alternative version where it was both Crocodile and Garp beating Dragon's ass before Iva-chan joined in but that was too much effort lmao#I'm a believer in Dragon being a Wind Logia so don't worry guys he is 100% taking this beating intentionally#He knows what he did and he's dealing with the concequences of his actions. With grace.#You know I realize Iva-chan should be two whole meters taller than Crocodile but we're just gonna ignore that#Look Iva-chan taking Crocodile's side and being like ''Crocoboy is right you fucked up bad Dragon'' brings me joy#And for real I've been wanting to draw this for months. But never did because I had other shit to do. Which I still do#But. You know. Sometimes you need to draw a shitpost. It's ✨ self-care ✨#And appearently One Piece shitpost comics have become the thing I draw for myself on occassion
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don't think I'm not still obsessing over 7-12
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 12 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 12 spoilers#sorry it's even scribblier than usual :') hopefully my chickenscratch is legible#anyway come here and join me in the corner where we go to be embarrassing about anime characters#just. between riddle and trey's dreams i've been thinking a lot about how#trey knew this kid for like two months when he was nine and then never really got over him or how their friendship ended#which. honestly. understandable given the circumstances#and then when they finally met again riddle acted like they'd never met before and neither he nor trey ever intended trey to be his vice#but every time riddle talks about his childhood post-incident it's basically#'oh yeah i constantly thought about trey and che'nya and fantasized about still being friends with them! this is fine and normal'#(there's a bit in one of his birthday cards where he talks about crossword puzzles and shit man that one got me)#idk. i can't put this into words very well#just...the implications that riddle was actively resisting trey's friendship#(presumably because it ended SUPER badly last time and he's learned that if he shows he wants something it gets taken away from him)#and trey had to work REALLY hard to just to get to the point they were at by the time canon starts#that was progress somehow#y'all can call him boring all you want but trey's defining feature really is that he keeps being like#'everything's fine :) this isn't a big deal :) i don't care that much'#(trey on the inside: THIS IS THE BIGGEST DEAL THAT I CARE SO MUCH ABOUT AND I WILL NEVER LET IT GO)#anyway i continue to be absolutely murdered by the timing of riddlepunzel directly after this#riddle's line about not wanting to keep standing in front of a door that's never going to open...#hey. hey silly gacha game about anime disney boys.#you are not actually allowed to do this to me#oh shit oh damn i'm out of tags and i haven't even talked about cater yet. NO BUT I HAVE LOTS OF FEELINGS THERE TOO --#(i am crushed under a falling safe looney tunes style)
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