#Like middle aged + that would be so awesomesauce

[vicquemares]

ava!!!!!! billie piper doctor!!!!!

I SAW...🙊 like okkkkkk woah mama what's going on. Doctor who? Doctor ummmm what are we even doing anymore. I have posts to read and make

[woodchipp]

I have a lot to say.

Mari's conversation with Sunny in the piano room is ended by Hero, who suddenly enters and, after talking to Sunny a little bit, tells him to go back to sleep. Exiting the room and then returning into it shows Hero crying over Mari on the piano keys. Just like with Basil and his mental breakdown on the first day, the game doesn't allow you to comfort Hero in any way, and just like Sunny can only walk out of the bathroom while Basil tearfully begs him to stay, all that Sunny can do here is go back to sleep and leave Hero alone. Isn't Sunny such a caring and thoughtful friend?

When Sunny wakes up in the morning, Hero reveals that he completed all of the former's chores on the list his mom left for him even though Sunny himself never asked him to do that. For the record, Sunny's chores take him three days if he chooses to stay inside on the first day, yet Hero somehow finished them all before Sunny even woke up. Because Hero is just that perfect and awesomesauce, ig

Amusingly, If you save the game near Sunny's house, the game identifies the location you last saved in as "OUTSIDE" instead of just registering it as "Faraway Town"

The plot of the last day is kicked off proper by Kim asking Sunny, Kel and Hero to check on Aubrey because she's shut herself off and the Hooligans are worried about her. This concern about Aubrey's well-being comes off as insincere given that they were perfectly willing to abandon her at the hangout spot just the day prior

Hero and Kel realize that they never went to Aubrey's house back when Mari was still alive only during the events of the game. This implies that the friend group didn't question Aubrey's tendency to always come over and never made the effort to actually visit her themselves. True friendship, everyone!

Hero thinks of the whole situation with Aubrey as a "typical Kel and Aubrey fight" even after hearing that she pushed Basil into the lake both from Kel and Aubrey herself. He even tells the two of them to make up as if he still sees them as a pair of squabbling kids

When Polly informs the gang that Basil is at the hospital with his grandmother after the latter was rushed to intensive care, their response is.... to simply kill time "doing whatever" until he gets back. You'd think that they'd try to contact him somehow or visit him at the hospital and lean a shoulder in the face of such an adversity, but nope. True friendship, everyone!

At one point, the game stops you near a vending machine so that you could witness Aubrey and Kel's riveting argument over expired soda as if it wasn't already shown that the two frequently argue or that Kel is dumbass enough to drink a can of expired soda. That's OMORI's idea of fleshing out its characters - it forces you to live through these mundane moments that add nothing of actual substance but pretend to be realistic

If you have a set of flowers in the inventory and lay them on Mari's grave while visiting the cemetery, interacting with the grave again will trigger a special event of Sunny and his friends having a picnic. At a cemetery. It's almost kind of funny, but I'm mentioning the event purely because of how vile it becomes after you learn that Sunny accidentally killed Mari in the middle of a hissy fit and didn't tell anyone the truth after her death was staged as a suicide. Oh, but isn't it just so heartrendingly bittersweet that Mari got her life cut short at the age of 15 while her killer gets to enjoy a nice, relaxing picnic with his (unaware) friends near her grave?

When you enter Kel and Hero's room in their house after Aubrey reunites with the friend group, it's shown that Hero is still afraid of spiders, just like he was afraid of them when he was a teen. You'd think that the game would use Sunny and Hero's mutual fear of spiders to demonstrate their bond by having them help each other overcome it, but nothing of the sort ever happens

The conversation Kel, Aubrey and Hero have about the day Mari died right before the gang enters the treehouse doesn't contribute anything to the plot. Cutting it down to the last two lines from Kel and Aubrey would've been way more poignant IMO

The macguffin that drives Faraway Town's story (and that I didn't mention up until now because it wasn't relevant lmao) is Basil's photo album, with the first day revolving around Kel and Sunny's efforts to take it back from Aubrey and the next two days centering around re-collecting the photos that are still missing. Even though the photos are meant to prove how strong the group's friendship was in the past, the childhood memories they depict are ultimately shallow, boiling down to fluff like "We went to the beach. It was fun!" or "We're reading a new comic issue. So exciting!". There's no precedent of the characters supporting each other through thick and thin like friends are supposed to; coupled with their actions during the game, it makes their whole friendship look incredibly flimsy.

Another problem with the photo album is that the game forces you to look through it four times over the course of the story as you piece it back together instead of just letting you collect all of the missing photos first and then fill the album out in one go. It's very irritating because it drags out a game that's already long as hell

The album is meant to show you how much the characters cared about each other, yet the caption of the second photo is Basil admitting that he thought his friends forgot about his birthday. True friendship, everyone!

(also Aubrey and Mari have the exact same face here. artstyle.png)

There's no way Basil would've been able to take this picture with his bulky Polaroid without anyone noticing or getting blinded by the camera's flash

The game expects the player to consider this wholesome.

Mari's perfectionism is effectively an informed flaw, and when it isn't used as a convenient justification for Sunny accidentally killing her, the game portrays it as a cute and endearing quirk while glossing over the negative impact it might've had on her, Sunny and her friends. OMORI has been widely praised for its accurate depiction of mental illness.

(also, why would Mari be self-conscious about being photographed for making a mistake at the piano? you can't hear music in a photograph)

During the motive rant Aubrey gives after the photo album is finally completed, she notes that "[she] felt like everyone abandoned [her]... and abandoned MARI too...". Note that she phrases the line in a way that places herself before Mari, as if the latter is more of an afterthought than anything

Aubrey also mentions that Sunny stopped attending school at some point after Mari's death. How his hikkikomori lifestyle was facilitated without him being classified as a truant is something the game never explains

The reason Aubrey stole the photo album from Basil before the game's events is that she went through the album without his permission and saw that the photos were blacked out with marker. Instead of giving her close friend the chance to explain himself, Aubrey jumped to the conclusion that Basil is the culprit, instantly believed her conclusion, condemned him as a "nutcase" and started verbally harassing him, which eventually resulted in others joining in and presumably contributed to the deterioration of Basil's already unstable mental state. What makes this even worse is the later revelation that Sunny was the one who desecrated his best friend's most precious belonging and then left him alone to deal with whatever consequences that would entail. True friendship, everyone!

(while we're on the subject, the game also manages to make the aforementioned later revelation worse by heavily implying that Sunny ruined the photos due to Omori, who caused him to sleepwalk. in other words, his Evil Depression did it. accurate portrayal of mental illness, everyone!)

Aubrey's phrasing of her admission that she was verbally harassing Basil is also notable, given that she conveniently doesn't specify the "things like that" she's been calling him, which suggests that she might've called him things way worse than "creep"

Sunny, Kel and Hero reconcile with Aubrey and forgive her for her wrongdoings (which include attempted murder) with a group hug. Because she cried really hard at the end of her rant. peak writing

By the way, keep in mind that all of this is happening while Basil is at the hospital with his grandmother. Sunny ahd his friends are having picnics and arguments over soda at the same time Basil is probably watching his grandmother die. True friendship, everyone!

Due to the game's short three-day timespan, Aubrey's apology to Basil rings hollow. A verbal apology means nothing unless you can back it up with your actions, and Aubrey doesn't get the chance to prove that she's genuinely sorry for what she did before the game throws her and the rest of Sunny's friends to the wayside to focus on the plot twist and the final boss in the last hour of the game

Speaking of Basil, the way his friends and his caretaker trample all over his agency is appalling. Despite him not expressing any desire for company due to grieving his grandma's death (which occured earlier in the day, so the wound is still fresh), Polly allows the group to enter his house. They knock at his room's door for half a minute, shut down Polly's musings that Basil needs some time alone with a shallow "friends should be there for each other!" and then decide to sleep over at his house without asking Basil whether he'd want that just because they assume he'd appreciate their company. Polly allows them to do that too because she also assumes that Basil would appreciate it. His psychotic breakdown near the end of the route is the most logical reaction he could've had to everything the game puts him through, really

Before they all fall asleep, Hero commends Sunny for touching grass and thanks him for "everything" even though Sunny did absolutely nothing for his friends at any point of the story. Most of the scenes in Faraway Town could've had him cut and nothing of value would be lost

...well, it's time for the endgame. Buckle in.

Right before the big plot twist, Sunny has to confront Something, the abstract shape of Mari's hanged body haunting him throughout the game and the embodiment of his guilt over the incident. The "fight" is even more boring as the fights against Sunny's other three fears were - in fact, you're forced to fight these fears again. The gameplay boils down to waiting until a particular turn when you'll be allowed to use a particular skill and repeating that until Something reveals itself to be Mari's hanged body. After that, you'll need to spam the same skill for several turns in a row until the game grants Sunny the special skill to overcome his guilt in a single press of a button. game_design.exe and accurate portrayal of mental illness, everyone!

As stated earlier, the twist is that Mari didn't kill herself four years before the game's events - on the day of the music recital she and Sunny practiced for over the course of roughly nine months, Sunny's frustration with Mari's (alleged) perfectionism boiled over and he broke the expensive violin the entire friend group busted their asses off to buy him. Mari, understandably angered by this (in the single instance of showing a personality trait other than Kind™), started berating him and blocked his way when he tried to leave, resulting in Sunny "losing all sense" and accidentally shoving her down the house's staircase in his fit of rage.

Then, Basil pops out of nowhere and improvises a plan to cover up the manslaughter by staging it as a suicide.

The game conveys the twist to you by making you collect photos reflecting Sunny's memories of the truth and fill out a recolored version of Basil's photo album. Because the game thought that filling out Faraway Town's photo album was fun, apparently. Not to mention that the game forcibly pulls up the album every time you collect a photo, which is very irritating

Despite the entire sequence taking place within Sunny's mind, most of the photos are inexplicably taken from Basil's point of view. Do these two have a telepathic link? lmao

The sequence's attempt to humanize Sunny's mother falls flat on its face because Sunny's family never factored into the story enough to make us give a shit until this point and because his mom already left quite the negative impression of herself right at the beginning of the game by prioritizing a furniture sale over checking on her clearly unwell son

(by the way, that's Mari's sprite sitting on the couch. the developers couldn't even be bothered to make a separate sprite for his mom. six years in development and $200,000, everyone!)

The toil violin practice and Mari's exacting standards were taking on Sunny is entirely glossed over even though it's crucial to the plot twist. Remember that book from Lost Library I mentioned in my second reblog? That's the most set-up for the twist the game provides. Sunny ended up killing his sister because he wanted to watch one more hour of Saturday morning cartoons. peak writing

Similarly, the real cause of Mari's death is only foreshadowed by the prevalence of stairs in Sunny's fights with his fears and maybe his fear of heights, with everything else mostly hinting at suicide, which makes the plot twist feel even more out of left field

One of Hero's comments on the second day in Faraway Town indicates that Sunny's family was financially well-off back when Mari was alive, since they were able to afford a grand piano, a big TV and "all the newest toys". This, coupled with the fact that we don't get to see the full extent of Sunny's exhaustion, makes his act of breaking the violin come off as less of an understandable act of frustration and more of a spoiled child's temper tantrum

I wasn't joking or exaggerating when I said that Basil pops out of nowhere. The game never explains why he was at Sunny's house at that specific moment or how he was able to enter the house in the first place

Basil doubts that everyone else would believe Mari's death was an accident. Unless Sunny had a history of violent behavior towards Mari, that would be everyone's first assumption since an accident would obviously be way more likely than premeditated murder in his case

It didn't occur to Sunny and Basil to simply say that Mari fell down the stairs because her bad knee happened to buckle at the wrong time. The game mentions the bad knee both in Headspace and in the real world, but nothing ever comes out of that. At the very least, that'd be a lie far more plausible for 12-year-old kids to tell

Photo of a Lie's datamined description reveals that Sunny briefly felt at peace after snapping out of his dissociative fugue and seeing his sister's hanged body the same way a little kid would be relieved they got away with breaking a cookie jar. You are supposed to feel bad for him.

Following all that, Sunny wakes up in the middle of the night. Upon approaching the door to Basil's room, the game gives you the choice to save Basil or leave him alone and exit his house/go back to sleep.

Choosing any of the latter options leads to Basil killing himself, meaning that Sunny can actually just leave his best friend to die if you want him to. True friendship, everyone!

Choosing to save Basil will initiate a boss fight against him. While the cutscene preceding it is mostly decent, the tension gets kind of undercut by Basil yelling "That's mean, SUNNY! That's so mean!" as if he's a 5-year-old who saw his sand castle get ruined

Basil is supposed to be armed with garden shears during the fight, but the battle interface completely obscures them. The overworld spritework doesn't have him wielding shears either, which could lead one to think that Sunny is beating his defenseless best friend to death. game_design.exe

After Sunny falls unconscious due to his injuries and both boys are rushed to the hospital, he awakens in a dream facsimile of Faraway Town. Going to his house yields a conversation with Basil, who helpfully spells out the photo album's narrative purpose in case the player didn't get the memo after 20+ hours of playing the game

In the house's piano room, Mari urges Sunny to forgive himself for killing her. Not even to admit the truth for the sake of his friends, but to forgive himself. Even though the game clearly shows that Sunny wasn't the only one affected by Mari's death, only he and his feelings on the subject are taken into account at the end of the day

Mari also notes that Sunny has "worked very hard to get to this point...", which is hilarious considering that all that Sunny did was loitering around the town for a couple of days

Memory Lane, the location you get transported to after exiting the house so that you could repair Sunny's violin, is a collection of the exact same fluffy childhood memories the photo album already depicts and thus doesn't contribute much to the plot aside from dragging out the game

If you successfully get through all that without keeling over from ending fatigue, you'll be confronted by the final boss of the game: Omori himself.

Hoo boy.

The fight in general goes on for way too long. Despite the fact that it is ultimately unwinnable and you will inevitably lose, the choice prompt that determines your ending appears only after you lose to Omori during the fifth phase for some reason

Gameplay-wise, the fight can get straight-up unfair, with Omori frequently using attacks that halve your HP just after you used a healing skill and consequently invalidating your previous turn. The game never allows you to level Sunny up in the real world either, so the best you can do is to hope that Omori will be merciful enough to not use a signfiicantly powerful attack if you're at low health

The main focus of the fight story-wise is Omori's big LowTierGod-esque speech about how Sunny should kill himself to avoid all the guilt and pain. However, a number of points Omori makes are genuinely salient:

Indeed, Sunny is never shown doing anything substantial for his friends before or after Mari's death, and he did lie to his friends by omission since he went along with Basil's cover-up. The catch is that the game doesn't want you to agree with Omori in any way. After all, Omori is meant to personify Sunny's Evil Depression, and that means everything he says is framed by the game as Bad Self-Loathing Thoughts that Sunny must stand his ground against, regardless of whether Omori has a point or not

Sunny never vocally fights back against the criticisms Omori levels at him, further depriving the former of characterization. Instead, he counters by cherry-picking quotes he heard from his friends (and Mari) over the course of the game to replenish his HP and calm down, twisting the supportive words of the people he lied to so that he could feel better. Because, as Mari's words to Sunny before Memory Lane show, only he and his feelings actually matter to this game. Why am I supposed to feel bad for this piece of shit again?

Choosing to not continue will lead to Sunny letting his depression take control of him and throwing himself off the hospital's roof, which is the game's bad ending. The hilarity of Sunny falling for two minutes aside, the game expects you to take his suicide seriously even though the act of suicide has been treated as a harmless gameplay mechanic required for story progression (Omori has to stab himself in the gut to wake Sunny up and escape certain areas in Black Space) up until this point. Not only that, but this is the ending you get if you agree with Omori's viewpoint that Sunny is irredeemable. The game esseintially pressures you into choosing to continue - you must forgive Sunny or else he's going to kill himself out of guilt, and you wouldn't want a little boy to kill himself, would you? You're not a heartless, empathy-lacking monster, are you? It's emotional manipulation so blatant I'm astounded that people consider it competent writing.

Choosing to continue will net you the true ending, in which Sunny musters up the courage to tell his friends the truth after playing a duet with Mari over a PowerPoint slideshow showing the group's happy childhood memories for the umpteenth time. Forcing an emotional response out of the player seems to be this cutscene's sole purpose. C'mon, aren't you moved by the sad_piano_violin.mp3 in the background?

Witnessing the slideshow causes Omori to just... die, apparently. Because if you're suffering from severe depression, you can easily make it disappear by thinking happy thoughts! That's how it works, right? Right?

Sunny walks into Basil's hospital room, which is where his friends are, and begins his confession... only for the game to abruptly cut to the credits. Seriously, that's the true ending of this story. The way the characters we spent most of the game with react to such a bombshell doesn't matter. Sunny's friends are not the point, since the point is Sunny forgiving himself - they all exist as mere satelite characters around him. In a game with the power of friendship as one of the central themes, the main protagonist's friends are completely irrelevant to the story when all is said and done. If that's not the epitome of peak writing, I don't know what is

The cherry on top is that the credits indicate Sunny'told the truth shortly before moving out of Faraway Town. Not only does he get to conveniently avoid taking responsibility for his actions again, he also leaves Basil all alone to deal with the consequences again, exactly like he did when he ruined the photo album. TRUE FRIENDSHIP, EVERYONE!

To everyone who followed this little series of mine, thank you. This game is an abomination.

I'm done.

Currently replaying OMORI because I'm a masochist with my best friends @beevean and @the-crow-binary providing emotional support lmfao. Even despite how soul-crushingly boring it is, I think we're still having some sort of fun with this clusterfuck of a game

Highlights (and the misc. problems we've managed to spot) so far include:

I already knew that this game's length was detrimental to it during my first solo playthrough, but this playthrough is helping me put into perspective just how bloated OMORI is, even when it comes to an aspect like dialogue. For example, a single conversation between Space Boyfriend and the main cast took us approximately 5 minutes to get through, and it's not like the writing is gripping enough to make us give a shit about the characters or anything they're saying

Speaking of the dialogue, you can just see how hard it tries to be witty and Quirky™ the way Earthbound and indie RPGs like Undertale were. Needless to say, it fails horribly, and the end result of that was me having to fast-track some conversations because they were unfunny and weren't relevant at all

I got unintentionally (!) stuck in White Space for 15-20 minutes because I couldn't find the map the game needed me to find to let me open the door. Beev came to hate the repetitive 8-bit BGM the area had by the time I finally found the map lol. game_design.exe

Headspace's music is so ear-gratingly abysmal oh my god. I can only call it "dollar-store Kirby music" because that's the most appropriate description that comes to mind and I'm pretty sure Lost at a Sleepover gave Beev severe PTSD. Of course, the music of Faraway Town isn't any better: the "track" that plays in the first fight with Aubrey is less music than it is the result of an .exe file being put through an audio player. Sonic Chronicles might have some serious competition in the "worst video game soundtrack" category asdfghjkl

The plot of the Faraway Town segments is so cookie-cutter that it genuinely hurts to sit through. Character writing (or the lack thereof) aside, Sunny and Kel spend half a day loitering around the town and asking Aubrey's cronies where she is even though Kel could've easily gotten that information from Mikhael had he just indulged the latter's delusions of grandeur a little bit

Faraway Town's daytime sky is literally a scrolling JPEG of a cloudy sky. The battle backgrounds of the real world segments are edited JPEGs as well. Everyone's houses look exactly the same on the outside save for some of them being a different color. The developers spent six years and more than $200,000 on this game.

Sunny's fights against his fears are boring. You just need to wait until a particular turn when the game grants you a special skill you use to end the fight immediately. What was the point of designing these hallucinatory monsters if the player doesn't get to fight them at any point during the main route?

Aubrey (ostensibly) swinging a nail bat at Sunny is not treated with the same degree of realism as Sunny slashing her with a knife. Additionally, Aubrey rides away on her scooter just fine even though she's supposed to be bleeding

Mari's picnic baskets are inexplicably scattered all across the town and fulfill the exact same function as they do in Headspace. So much for realism!

I won two of the fights against Aubrey's goons even though I was trying to lose. gameplay.exe

Sunny is even more unpleasant than I remember. He doesn't respond to Basil - who is supposedly his best friend - when the latter talks to him, stays silent while (and after) Kel vents to him about Hero yelling at him and barges into the church despite Kel advising him to wait until the sermon ends. Why should I feel bad for him again?

Kel generally seems to treat Sunny like an actual baby, spelling out incredibly obvious things to the latter (e.g. that Sunny shouldn't be carrying a knife or walking in the road because it's dangerous) and making all of Sunny's decisions for him, to the point of not allowing Sunny to return into his own house until nighttime under the pretense of "there's so much to do! it's a brand new day!"

Finally, the "fight" against Sunny's fear of spiders comes completely out of nowhere since nothing triggered said fear during Sunny's adventures outside

Peak game, everyone.

And it's going to get way worse down the line!

[extremelyblackandwhite]

handmaid - drabble

PAIRING: mob!sebastian stan x ingenue!reader

WARNINGS: age gap, implied smut 

A/N: i��ve had this drabble with me for a while and i just wanted to share it.

The meeting was long, much too long, and Sebastian was already getting exhausted from listening to the constant mistakes his staff has managed to make in such a short period of time. Between having to listen to how incompetent his partners were and having Y/N back in New York for a few weeks with her father and brother, he didn’t know which one made him more annoyed. If there was anyone in the whole of Paris who could calm him down, it was his wife but his wife wasn’t here and all he wanted to do was order hits on every single person on this table. 

As he was about to scream at one of his representatives in the South of France, he felt something pull at his trousers. Looking down, he saw the same blue eyes he’d had for the whole of his life stare back at him. Fuck. Y/N would kill him, Y/N would definitely kill him if she even dreamed that their one year old son had made his way into a mob meeting. Yes, he was a dead man. 

     - The meeting is over! - he dismissed everyone who immediately ran off the room, pleased they still had all their limbs and their hearts were beating. Once the last person was out the door, Sebastian leaned over to his son’s height, trying to appear intimidating but the one year old only giggled, holding his hands up to be picked up by his father. - How did you pass through the baby gate? 

Nathaniel might not speak too much yet but he clearly understood his father as he made little baby steps, or as Sebastian liked to call them, drunk steps, towards the gate at the end of the staircase. Dropping his bunny on the ground, he placed his sock covered little feet on top of the bar of the gate, successfully gaining some height before successfully unlocking the gate. Once the gate’s door was successfully push, he turned his face to his father, a little all knowing smile on his face.

     - Come here, you little monkey. - Sebastian picked his son up, before he could fall from the gate. The one year old immediately wrapped his arms around his father’s neck, leaning his head against the space between his neck and shoulder. - We’re not gonna tell mumma that you escaped your crib and the gate, hm? Our little secret?

His little blue tired eyes looked up to his in understanding yet Nate was still uch too tired to let go of any answer. Sebastian smiled softly, kissing the mess of brown curls Nate had inherited from him too before holding him close to him. He knew Nate way too well, he would refuse to sleep unless one of his parents was around yet once one of his parents as much held him, he would immediately be defeated by tiredness and sleep. The mob boss found it adorable how, just like his mother, he would cuddle against people he trusted, head against their body, snuggled safely. 

Grabbing Oreo from the ground and placing it next to Nate, Sebastian climbed up the stairs, making a mental reminder to get new baby gates. He opened the nursery’s door with his foot, placing the baby comfortably against his various sheets and plushies before leaning down to kiss his forehead. 

He remained there in the nursery, hand softly on his son’s hair, petting it mindlessly. Once when he was a younger man, he remembered speaking to one of his father’s old colleagues and having a discussion about shifting centres. Back then, in his early twenties, Sebastian believed in one thing and one thing only: success, however the man whose name had long been erased from his mind, disagreed. “Once you have a kid, your centre will shift. Suddenly gravity won’t be the thing pressing you down to Earth, it’ll be your kid” he remembered. Sebastian had to admit he was right, all his being knew he would do anything for Nate and for Y/N, yet he didn’t know how much until the moment the nurse had handed him his son for the very first time. He was so tiny, lost in the middle of a sea of little white baby blankets but the way his little hand held onto his finger had the mob boss crying sooner than expected. And those eyes, those eyes whenever he looked at him with those eyes who he had grown up with, those baby blues, he knocked him out without saying a thing. He was his son and he was somehow here, half him and half the woman he loved. 

Y/N, on the other hand, had just arrived home after a gruelling 8 hour flight which had preceded an also gruelling meeting between some of the mob families in NY about none other than her little boy. While some families were rather interested in merging the Forrest and Stan families into one, some were unreceptive and still not very keen on the idea. Most of it was mostly whining as Y/N knew whatever she, her father, and Sebastian decided went and that was that, but it had still been a harsh time. 

As she stepped onto the apartment, she took off her white almond toe heels, throwing them to the side, expecting Sebastian to still be on his meeting with the French division. Instead, the living room was empty and so was the table with only empty and half full glasses laying around. Maybe it finished early, she thought to herself. Whatever it was, she just wanted to lay down and sleep, but not without seeing her baby. However, as she got closer to the nursery, she saw a suited figure looming over Nate’s crib, Sebastian. 

She leaned against the door, watching with a loving smile as Sebastian cooed at the baby, most likely hoping he wouldn’t get up. However, no matter how good she had become at sneaking up to him, Sebastian still always felt when someone was watching. This was no exception as he turned around to see his wife in a white and pink little tweed Channel co-ord. 

     - Angel ... - he walked up to her, leaning to kiss her forehead. - You’re back early. 

     - Missed you and my baby. - she smiled, placing her hands on his shoulders and a kiss to the corner of his lips. - Is he alright?

     - Safe and sound sleeping. 

     - I’m just gonna kiss Nate goodnight. See you in the bedroom? - Y/N moved passed him, a little naughty smile on her face as she knew he would be definitely checking her out as she walked past him. 

After giving her son a kiss goodnight, she walked over to their bedroom, joining Sebastian sitting in their very comfortable king sized bed which seemed to gain more and more pillows as time went by. 

    - How was the meeting? 

    - Pointless, how was your meeting? I know you didn’t wanna have it while Nate was in the house. - she leaned against his shoulder, feeling like she was home immediately. 

     - He was very quiet.

     - He climbed off the crib and opened the gate didn’t he? - she interrupted him before he could say another thing. - He did that with me last week.

     - Oh thank god ... I thought I would have to hide this from you and get a new gate and a higher crib.

     - Well, we have a pretty smart kid.

     - Do you know what we could have? - he raised his eyebrows at her playfully. - Two pretty smart kids.

      - Seb ...

      - What? Angel, you can’t walk around in a that and not expect me to want to put another baby in you.

    - Well aren’t you a romantic? - she rolled her eyes before giggling. - You know what’s even better than this suit?

    - Tell me.

    - What’s under it. 

 tag list: @lilya-petrichor​​​ @xoxohannahlee​​​ @nikkipea​​​ @irespostthingsiwanttoseelater​​​ @madisonpillstrom​​​ @cevans98​​​ @thelostallycat​​​ @sideeffectsofyou​​​ @anxiousdreamersworld​​​ @captainchrisstan​​​ @lookiamtrying​​​ @sarge-barnes-sir​​​ @stuffforreferences​​​ @thebadassbitchqueen​​​ @sebastianstansqueen​​​ @nsfwsebbie​​​ @strangerliaa​​​ @emzd34​​​ @everything-is-awesomesauce​​​ @dreams-in-blxck​​​ @krismeunicornbaobei​​​ @buckysteveloki-me​

[ticklikeabomb]

Birth in Reverse : Pt1

Pairing : Avengers x Fem Plus Size Reader (ships coming later)

Warnings : Language ; Hydra Attack

Word Count : 1.4k

A/N : Series taking place in a world where the Avengers are together and let’s just forget that Infinity War and Endgame ever happened. 

It was a sweet summer day. A small breeze comforting you through the radiating heat. The final exams were approaching and you were currently ending the final week before it officially began. The pressure was high. You were on your final year, able to taste your hardworking success on your tongue and could almost feel the paper on the tips of your fingers. A mix of pride and fear floating through you to achieve such a goal. College wasn’t easy, neither was life.

You entered the classroom for your final class with Mr. Anderson, your History teacher. It was by far one of your favorite classes and teacher. Knowing you wouldn’t attend them anymore made your heart beat a tad faster, nostalgia overwhelming you. You took your usual spot before taking your notebook out. "Hello future graduates", he entered the class with a bright smile. He put his bag on the side of his desk and faced the class. "I'm sure you have better things to do than standing here on a Friday at 4pm but since it's our final class, I have a surprise for you. Before that, I would like to take a moment and review the crucial points of the course."

"First of all, congratulations. It sounds a little like a double standard doesn't it? What I mean by 'congratulations' is referred to your accomplishments. They may seem little compared to what you will have to go through in a couple of days with the exams but the truth is that you've already succeeded. You managed to be here today, in this class. If you go back 2 years ago, for some of you maybe 3 or 4 years ago, it was the beginning of let's call it phase two of your life. It was your first year in college : the unknown, the excitement, the growing-up, new adventures, a lot of parties", he exclaimed to which the auditorium laughed. He continued once the quiet reigned again, "The self-discovery. I want to congratulate you for your parcours, how you managed to surpass stress or maybe anxiety. I want to congratulate you for choosing something that matters to you, something you're passionate about and if not, that's ok too. There is no age limit to figure out your personal path. And finally, I would like to thank you for these years rich in knowledge, on these moments we passed together. I hope I managed to help you in your self growth because you definitely helped me", he finished, his voice slightly cracking with emotion. You discreetly cleaned the tears that were streaming down your face and followed the other students in clapping for the professor. He thanked you all again before announcing his big surprise.  

"Well, I'm not letting him wait any longer. Please welcome Tony Stark, who gave us the privilege to visit our department." The room quickly filled with gasps and whispers, the thrill filling the student's hearts. The genius billionaire made his entry in a fashionably way as it was expected of him and greeted everyone. You were skeptic to why the department chose Tony Stark over Steve Rogers for a History class but were thrilled nonetheless. "Evening everyone, hope you're keeping it together", he smirked. "Well this is the endgame for you. The way for open doors. I'm here for motivational support. It's a History class right?", he turned to Mr. Anderson who nodded with a bright smile. "Right. History, what can be said that hasn't already been said. History comes and goes. Your grand-parents were part of it so were your parents but it's your turn now. You're the ones who will make history whenever it will be as a profession or as a member of society. You are the future and man when I look at all of you, what a bright futur. I'm excited to see how it will turn out. Go break some eggs and make history young adults", he concluded.

At the middle of his speech, you attention was caught at the window on your right. You saw the three's leaves vigorously shake but not due to the breeze. Something felt off. Like hypnotized you stood up and marched to the window. Whispers filling the room caught Stark's attention the moment he was about to leave. "Miss Y/L/N?", called your teacher after you. You looked outside, a yellowish glow approaching. It definitely felt off. A shiver ran through your body when you realized it was coming at you at full speed. Before you could say something, the room and building exploded.

__

Your eyes fluttered open and you let out a small scream. Panting you looked around you and saw some students, a hand pressed against their heart. "Dammit Y/N you scared the hell out of us", exclaimed one of your classmates. You looked through the room not caring about the judgmental looks you were receiving, when Mr. Anderson entered. "Hello future graduates." You saw him put his bag on the side and do the same movements all over again. "I'm sure you have bigger…", he began. You put your hands on your head and mumbled under your breath "What the hell is happening?"

"I have a surprise for you. Before…", "TONY STARK", you cut him off. He frowned and looked at the audience. "Excuse me, who said that?", he asked while gulping, his surprise effect destroyed. You stood up and sprinted down the stairs. "It's Tony Stark right? Tell me it's him." His eyes widened and cleared his voice, "Yes it is indeed. I guess the cat is out of the bag now", he chuckled nervously. "Your speech, you were about to congratulate us for our achievements and thank us, right?" You saw the color leaving his face and he coughed. "We have to get out of here", you breathed out once realization hit you. "Excuse me?", he asked. Your body began to tremble and declared out load so that everyone could hear you, "We have to get out of this building NOW!" "Come on Miss Y/L/N, what is happening with you?" You shook your head and saw the alarm system on the wall. Running to it, you activated it and screamed, "A bomb or some sort of missile is about to burn this place to the ground, we have to go!" "I think Y/N has been watching to many action movies", joked one of your classmates. You went back to the teacher and implored him, "I don't know how but I saw it. It will explode. Please!!"

He clenched his jaw before exclaiming loudly, "Everyone please exit the room. It's probably nothing but for precaution let's go." The students began descending the stairs, outraged by you and giving you the side-look. You told them to hurry and saw Stark entering the room along another man in a black suit. "What is going on?", he asked the teacher. He nodded towards you and said, "She's convinced the building will explode." The affirmation caught Tony's attention and he asked for F.RI.D.A.Y to run a check on the area. "No tread at the horizon", she exclaimed. "You believe her?", asked Stark to the teacher. "I never saw that much panic in ones eyes. I'm afraid I do." You were helping someone to descend the stairs when you saw the leaves. "EVERYONE OUT NOW!", you screamed. "Boss? She's right", exclaimed F.R.I.D.A.Y suddenly. He only had time to secure Happy and Mr Anderson with a nanotech shield before seeing you descend the stairs at full speed. It was too late. The room exploded.

__

David entered the room fuming. "So how was Hydra's big entrance into the world? Did it all go smoothly?", asked his superior. David teleported himself and the next second stood in front of his superior, pushing him violently against the nearest wall. "It didn't. Now you gonna tell me how the hell she knew it was about to explode." His boss pushed himself out of his hold before taking a menacing stand. "First, never touch me again", he hissed. David sighed, trying to calm himself down. "She knew. I tried to make a diversion by saying she was watching to many action movies but Anderson took pity on her and order everyone out." "Fuck", exclaimed the superior. "So she's still alive and so is Stark?" David nodded before asking him, "What are you not telling me about her."

"She must have been reactivated", he spat in anger. He took his phone and dialed the president. After a few nods and mumbles, he drops the phone on the concrete before stepping on it. "Alright everyone, we're moving. Plan B in motion", he exclaimed loudly to the other Hydra operatives. "She will be the end of the Avengers either way", he proudly breathed out.

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[cleighwrites]

Till Sex Do We Part

SPN Fanfic

Characters - John Winchester x Reader, Dean and Sam (minor)

Summary - A strange case finds you working with the infamous Winchesters to save newlyweds from cashing in too soon on their vow of “till death do we part.”

Word Count - 2,971

A/N - This was written for @annablack1102​‘s Teeny Tiny Writing Challenge; my prompt was Accidental Marriage, and the character I chose was John Winchester. This fic fills my Sex Pollen square on my @spnkinkbingo card. Beta assist by that awesomesauce @deanwinchesterswitch, thanks again!

Warnings - Smack (emphasis on the crack part... it’s trash), sex pollen and the weird actions that go with that, pseudo dub-con because of the sex pollen, fingering, jerking off, unprotected sex (don’t be dumb, wrap it up!), John Winchester being a sexy ass bitch, that voice alone...  

You couldn’t believe the situation you found yourself in. Not only were you on a hunt with the infamous John Winchester, but the thing you were hunting seemed to be going after newlyweds. Six couples in the last month had been found dead the day after getting married; with various causes of death, ranging from dehydration to heart attacks. The only problem was that someone was going to have to get married to set the trap.

You were the only female on the case, which meant that you were going to have to at least pretend to get married. Dean was more than eager to volunteer his services, and having just turned twenty, he was technically old enough. John was quick to shut Dean’s offer down, citing that he didn’t want his eldest son to play the bait in case things went sideways. You were slightly relieved, given that you were twelve years older than the young hunter. Granted John was more than ten years your senior, but the age difference wasn’t as noticeable between the two of you.

So that was how you found yourselves at the courthouse filing for a marriage license with your aliases, since this was just a cover. Whatever it was that was after newlyweds didn’t seem to care how they got married, just that they had. So instead of trying to put together an actual ceremony, it was quicker, and more cost efficient, to go to the Justice of the Peace and get it over with. In the county that you all found yourselves in, the Justice happened to be located in the county jail. Why that seemed like a good idea for them, you could only guess.

After you got your marriage license you made your way back to the motel to get changed. It was very important, since you had no idea who or what you were looking for, that you looked as believable as possible going into this. You had found a simple white cotton dress at a local shop which hugged your form perfectly. It was flattering, yet comfortable and functional, easily concealing your holsters for your gun and bowie knife. You did your hair and makeup simply, yet still looked like you put a little effort into it. Once you deemed yourself ready, you made your way to the boys’ room.

Sam opened the door and immediately dropped his gaze to take in your full look. His cheeks flushed pink and he quickly looked away as he held the door open to invite you in. Dean was sitting at the small table and also did a double take at the sight of you in a dress. It was the most leg you had shown in years, and it helped to boost your confidence that you could still pull off looking like a girl.

Dean cleared his throat then whistled. “Looking good, Y/N. Dad’s finishing up in the bathroom, now.”

“Thanks, Dean.”

“Doesn’t she look good, Sammy?” Dean teased his little brother.

You turned to face Sam, letting your dress bell out as you moved, and smiled at him.

Sam nodded and squeaked out a shy, “Sure does.”

You laughed, smiled wider, and thanked him. Dean laughed at Sam’s awkwardness and still changing voice. You felt a little bad for Sam, he wasn’t quite sixteen yet, and his body was still going through the more challenging stages of development. Constantly being around such men as John and Dean couldn’t have made his situation any easier.

Just then the bathroom door opened, and you had to control your eyes so that they wouldn’t bug out of your head. “Dean, what have I told you about teasing your brother?” His voice was equal parts gravel and molasses, and did things to you that you swore to take to the grave. He was clean shaven, with his hair combed back, and was dressed simply in a nice pair of dark slacks and a white button up shirt; he was devastatingly handsome.

“Sorry, sir,” Dean apologized.

“Well sweetheart, look at you.” John took in the look at you in much the same way as his sons had; only his gaze seemed to light you on fire as it moved down your body.

You tried to laugh off the compliment and made a half-assed, joking attempt to pull out the bottom of your dress and curtsy. John, imitating your formality, pulled himself to his full height, tucked his arms in at his waist as he walked over to you, and offered you his elbow. “Shall we?”

You prayed that your cheeks weren’t noticeably burning as you accepted his arm and headed to the car. Quick words of warning were given to Sam, who was staying behind, to properly seal off the room and get his homework done. Dean hopped in the backseat, you in the front passenger, and John into the driver seat of the sturdy old Impala. You all went over the plan again on the way out to the jailhouse.

It was easier than it should have been to pretend to be an excited bride with John touching you and looking at you the way he was. You never pictured that you would make a blushing bride, but there you were, standing in front of the Justice, cheeks aflame, with John’s hands holding yours, his eyes boring straight into your soul. You were honest to God shaking as you exchanged the simple, silver, thrift store bands you had found, and your heart leapt into your throat when John leaned down to seal your fake new bond with a kiss.

His lips were soft on yours, and his kiss was firm. You gasped at the overwhelming sensation, and he took the chance to slide his tongue over your bottom lip. You leaned into him, trying to deepen the kiss and John smiled against your mouth, leaning away. “Let’s save some for later, Princess.” He winked at you, and you almost swooned on the spot.

The Justice smiled at you knowingly, and slid the paper across the table for you and John to sign. There was some yelling out in the corridor, the sounds of a fight starting up, and Dean stuck his head out the door to check on it. He shook his head and came back over to the desk. Without putting too much thought into it, since you were having to focus on breathing, you signed your name on the line the Justice indicated, and played with your ring, as John signed his, the fight still going on outside the little room.

All the paperwork was split between you after everyone had signed, Dean and another clerk acting as your witnesses, and you were officially fake married to John McAllister. When everyone was loaded into the car, you now sitting in the middle of the front bench seat, John’s hand on your thigh and your head on his shoulder, you made your way back to the motel.

Once there, John threw the key to his room to Dean, and walked down the corridor to your room. Once you managed to get the key in the slot and unlock the door, John surprised you by lifting you into his arms to carry you into the room, then heeling the door closed behind you. The lights were still off, and you landed unsteadily on your feet when John sat you down. Luckily his arms were still strong around you and you were able to regain your balance.

“Easy there, Princess.” You could feel the rumble of his words as they radiated from his body into yours. “You good?”

Unable to trust your voice you nodded, and pulled yourself away from him. His hands lingered on your arms before slipping free, leaving behind a warmth that was more than just his body heat. You made your way to your bag to grab a change of clothes and John flipped on the lights. You put down all the paperwork and everything on the bed, kicked your shoes off and made your way to the bathroom to change.

Slipping out of your dress and into your shorts and tank top you pulled your hair into a haphazard ponytail and washed your face. Your head seemed clearer with the door closed between John and yourself, what had made you feel so giddy and frazzled. Sure John was an attractive, capable man, but you had worked with him before. Why would this case be any different than any other one?

When you opened the door the breath, as well as all rational thought, left your body as you took in the sight of John, shirt unbuttoned, legs stretched out and crossed at the ankles, laying on your bed. He had a puzzled look on his face as he was reading the papers you had sat down.

“Y/N, Darlin’, I think we might have a probl-” He cut himself off when he took in the sight of you in your lounge wear.

You took a few steps forward, and John swung his legs over the side of the bed to face you properly. His hands reached out to grab your hips and slot you in between his knees. He rested his head on your chest, and flexed his fingers on your hips, bunching up your shorts. Your breaths came in infrequent short bursts, and you had to squeeze your eyes shut as he held you close.

Your hands moved from John’s shoulders, when had you grabbed him?, to run your fingers through his hair. He groaned at the touch, and the combination of the sound and feel of it dampened your panties. His hands slid their way up your tank top, and lifted your arms so that he could remove the excess layer. As soon as your shirt hit the floor your hands were back in his hair, and his mouth was on your breasts alternating between the two with his hands and mouth. He quickly had your nipples freed from the cups of your sports bra, and lavished them each with opened mouth kisses.

Struggling to stay standing, your knees buried into the edge of the bed between John’s legs, your body held tight in the circle of his strong arms. One particularly exquisite bite from him had your fingers pull tight on the back of his head which caused you both to moan aloud. Taking his cue, John lifted you off the floor and rolled so that you were pinned to the bed under his weight.

“Oh, sweetheart. I’ve wanted this for so long. Can’t even tell you.” His mouth was all over your neck, nibbling on your ear, trailing down to your clavicle.

“Mmm, John!” He was hitting all of your most sensitive spots; it was as if he had a road map to all of your innermost desires.

John’s hands made their way down your body and he hooked his thumbs into your shorts and underwear; taking the hint, you lifted your hips so that he could rid you of the bottom layers of clothing. Once he had shed you of your shorts, his mouth slammed into yours in a bruising kiss. All sense of propriety forgotten as you ravaged each other. Your hands were much less graceful as you shoved his shirt the rest of the way off of him, and fumbled with his belt to get his pants off. You needed him, skin on skin, just as much as you needed air.

John chuckled softly against your neck before bracing himself up on one arm to undo his belt and undo his pants. Once the zipper was most of the way down, you regained your senses enough to pull them down under his ass. Your fingers brushed against his cock as you pulled your hands back up, and you felt it twitch at the touch. You wrapped your fingers around his impressive girth, and John bit down on your neck, hard, causing you to scream out.

He continued to bite and lick and kiss at your neck as you stroked him to full hardness. At some point one of his hands had ventured south and he began to work you open for him. You could hear the wet sloshy sounds of his fingers slipping in and out of your soaked cunt, and it only made you work him faster. With your free hand you grabbed the back of John’s head and pulled his mouth to yours.

The kiss was frantic and messy and by far the hottest thing you had ever done. After a moment he slipped his fingers out, and replaced your hand with his to line himself up. You braced yourself, grabbing his shoulders from underneath his arms, and holding on tight. Your brain registered some sort of noise outside your room, but not enough for you to linger on it. Just as you were about to ask John what was taking him so long, he shoved in. Your rarely used muscles burning at the desired intrusion as he slid all the way in, the head of his cock pressing into your cervix.

John paused for a moment before he eased out, and pushed back in again; setting a languid, steady pace. He filled you so wonderfully, and every stroke hit that sweet spot at your core and sent sparks flying behind your eyelids. His muscles flexed under your fingers, and his breaths were hot and heavy in your ear, he was building you up quickly; quicker than anyone had before.

You could feel your orgasm getting closer and closer, and you squeezed your eyes shut, clamping your inner walls tighter around John’s already thick cock. He moaned into your neck and the vibrations were the last stimulation you could take before you let go, exploding around him. He was only able to hold out for two more thrusts before he slammed in deep and stilled, pumping you full of his cum.

Before he was finished, and before you had truly regained the ability to breathe, it was like a cloud had lifted from your brain. You were suddenly very aware that John Winchester was naked above you and had just come inside of you. You both made eye contact at the same time and unceremoniously jerked away from each other; you flying to the head of the bed, flipping the edge of the comforter to cover yourself with, and him to the foot of the bed where he knelt on the floor to cover himself as well.

He looked at you, stricken. “Y/N,” you could hear the fear and regret in his voice, “please tell me we didn’t… ”

You weren’t sure who felt sicker about what had just happened. “We did.” Your stomach rolled, what the hell was going on?

Just then there was a loud bang on the door, John quickly slid into his pants and got them zipped and buttoned on his way to answer the door.

Dean came bursting in yelling, “Where the hell were you two?” Once he was in the room, he took in the state of his dad and you and his lip snarled into a disgusted look. “Uh, should I come back…?” he asked, equally mortified and confused.

“No,” both you and John answered at the same time.

“Yeah, well, it was a witch. It was that other lady at the Justice’s office, she was creeper stalking you guys outside the window, had a video camera and everything.” He shivered, then moved on. “I was able to get the drop on her, but she whammied me into the wall, luckily Sammy had snuck out and had those witch killing bullets from Uncle Bobby locked and loaded.” He rubbed the back of his head, no doubt waiting for John to lay into him about getting his little brother involved in the hunt.

“That actually makes sense now. You did good, Dean.” Dean’s eyes went wide when John put his hand on his shoulder, and you felt bad for him, not for the first time. All Dean ever seemed to want was John’s approval.

“But, Sammy-”

“Went against orders, and saved your ass. But you got the job done.” John looked him right in the eye, and Dean stood a little straighter. “Now, me and Y/N have some things we need to sort out, if you don’t mind.” He emphasized his point by nodding toward the door.

Dean’s face flushed and he glanced at you, then all but tripped over his feet trying to get out the room. Before the door had even shut, John had tossed you your tank top and shorts to slip back into. Luckily your bra was still on, but you weren’t going to fuss about missing underwear at the moment. John had his back to you as he slipped his shirt back on, and you stood to pull your shorts up. You both turned to face each other at the same time.

“So…” you started, not knowing exactly what needed to be said.

“Um, yeah. So, I noticed something while you were in the bathroom, before that spell took hold.”

You tried not to feel disappointed that the spell was the only reason that had happened. “What’s that?”

“Well, it seems that with all the commotion at the Justice’s office, and with that witch being there, that we both signed our real names to this marriage certificate.”

You choked on your intake of breath. “We what?”

“Y/N, looks like we just consummated our actual, legally binding, marriage.” His brows furrowed as he looked to you for your reaction, he didn’t even really sound disappointed.

“Well, hell, guess I’m a Winchester now, huh?” You shrugged it off, and watched as that sinful Winchester smile spread across his face.

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[vardasvapors]

DRUNK LIVEBLOG OF THE AKALLABETH BC I PROMISED @rose-of-the-bright-sea​

Uh unfortunately i’m not too drunk since once again my job was to bounce everyone once the party ended but uhhh it is early morning and i’m still not asleep and i did just spend 5 hours dancing and doing shots so...

ANYWAY: first scene of the Akallabeth, remember how the edain were the only Men who fought against morgoth in the war of wrath etc, and when morgoth was defeated the Evil Men who fought for him ran away and conquered all the Stupid Men who were still living in the middle earth area and these men’s lives sucked and were constantly attacked by orcs and monsters and they were dumb and wild and stuff. this explanation is like 20 kinds of LMAO NARRATIVES but also not like, in a lying way, just in a framing way.

otoh the edain got given a giant island in the middle of the ocean as a reward for fighting against morgoth and stuff, osse and aule and yavanna did it. (valar: ‘have an island way out in the sea’ elros: ‘SOUNDS LEGIT’). meanwhile the elves of ME are long-sufferingly granted permission to come to tol eressea because their lives kinda suck. the difference in the tone of the edain’s gift and the elves’ gift is totally not noticed by the narrator but the fact that avallone was build on the eastern edge of tol eressea where it could be seen from numenor is. lol.

there’s this super gorgeous entrancing description of how earendil burned super bright so that he shone night and day and the edain followed him over the calm enchanted sea until they found the island of numenor -- andor the land of gift, elenna that is starwards. however we all know all this incredible rich storytelling stuff isn’t important compared to the tiny scrap of smugness that can be wrung out of making elros hate earendil and/or elves, bc everyone knows that no character’s narrative matters except the feanorians’.

elves of ME also brought all the edain to numenor and elves of tol eressea gave the edain a ton of tools and gifts and stuff to help build their new nation, but you know it’s fun to headcanon elros as a bitter chest-puffing supercilious self-satisfied little prick who finds these elves embarrassing and blinkered and their existence pitiful and tut-tuttingly Wrong. bc that makes sense and is woke for some reason.

the numenoreans became taller than all the sons of middle earth, not all the men of middle earth, so numenoreans are taller than elves. also they didn’t have a lot of kids, bc i guess population explosions on islands with almost no death outside of like 300 years of old age is a Bad Time.

also “and the light of their eyes was like the bright stars” hahahahahahahahaha lmao! kill me! lies down. does not get up.

WHITE TREE FRACTALS

the numenoreans are super cool and get to talk and visit with both elves of tol eressea and elves of middle earth, which seems to lead to the completely inescapable conclusion that numenor is a place where the peoples of all lands can pass messages to one another but this is never mentioned. the numenoreans could totally also have prob defeated the evil human kings of middle earth if they tried but they were totes peaceful -- at an undefined point in time. nice vague timeline blurring bruh.

instead they like, instructed the dumb middle earth men on how to grow grain and grind flour and make stuff out of wood bc uh i guess the middle earth men are too dumb to figure it out, for “the ordering of their life, such as it might be in the lands of swift death and little bliss” hahahahahaha this is the most condescending line in the entire silm it’s great.

then the numenoreans start getting dissatisfied with how they still gotta die and stuff. it’s vaguely described as being something to do with how even their long lives are still not as long as elves’ loves, but every time i read this it reminds me how pissed about mortality i’d be if my great-great-great-uncle who was totally allowed to choose to become immortal kept popping in to talk about how he got to see the cool millennia of my country’s history first hand and debate with my revered ancestral founding king. so.

however the numenoreans totally brush over these sorts of super compelling and sympathetic and valid points and instead just whine about how they’re A Bigshot Kewl Superior Race and HDU Say We Can’t Control Everything If We Wanna, 36 Presents? But Last Century I Got 37! because they’re fucking useless dumbasses.

The valar reply that Aman Will Not Make You Immortal, Yo, and also that elves being immortal and men being mortal aren’t rewards or punishments, which are reasonable points. they then go on to go ‘TBH shouldn’t WE be the ones envying YOU bc you get to peace out of this clusterfuck world, huh, huh whaddaya think about that. also btw the whole mortality thing is some Secret Plan To Fight Inflation eru came up with, and none of us will know it until you and a bajillion generations of your descendants are all dead, lol!!!!’ THANKS VALAR. THAT’S REALLY HELPFUL. GREAT JOB OF ACTUALLY ADDRESSING ANYTHING THE NUMENOREANS ARE BOTHERED ABOUT. KUDOS. i love dumb gods.

the numenoreans are super dissatisfied but instead of anything constructive the king decides to hold his breath and throw a tantrum stay king until he’s totally senile and his son is old, bc of spite, then numenor gets divided into the king’s men and the faithful. the faithful are also bleh about death but assume that the valar have some kind of good reason for what they said, because um, reasons, i guess. no one says if the reasons are more mindless dogma or more a grounding and strengthening faith, but since numenoreans sound like RL humans to a tee it’s probably both. the king’s men aren’t skeptics tho -- they just conquer and enslave and colonize and steal from middle earth, bc ‘the west was denied to them.’ some fans find this to be a ‘yes, but--’ where it’s not the best thing to do but sympathetic and better than those un-nietzschean faithful. i’m gonna assume every single person who finds this nod-worthy is as White as sour cream.

later on Ar-Gimilzor bans the Faithful’s language, sends secret police or smth to find out everyone who is Faithful and forcibly remove them from their homes, relocate them to Romenna, and corral and watch them, call them and the elves of tol eressea spies, chase them out of numenor, and force the faithful leader’s sister to marry the king. some fans still somehow think this was a morally grey and understandable thing to do because secular-culturally-christian libs are vile and have never parsed a history book in their lives.

Tar-Palantir becomes king after being secretly taught Faithful stuff by his secretly faithful mom, but nothing he does to fix things helps and he eventually dies young from depression. His daughter Tar-Miriel becomes queen but her cousin Ar-Pharazon forces her to marry him and give him the kingship instead. exactly how this happened remains unexplained! Boo! I want more details. Anyway Pharazon is a Fragile Masculinity poster boy and when sauron starts causing trouble he decides he’s just gotta go capture him and bring him to numenor to show off and stroke his ego, bc he is an Heir Of Eärendil and Respect Meehhh!! God this guy sounds SO UNPLEASANTLY FAMILIAR DOESN’T HE EH. (parenthetically i am delighted beyond words at how absolutely bang-on it is that the King’s Men, both here and earlier with the convo with the Valar, totally Do Not Mention the fact that they’re heirs of Elros, not just Earendil, bc that would be super inconvenient to their vision of themselves and their mortality grievance!! lol!!! i love it!!!! god!!!!!!!! *fingers and thumb in a circle emoji*).

anyway sauron is super smart and an awesomesauce genre-savvy villain and way too good for pharazon and he flatters him and manipulates him into making him his councilor and convinces him that the valar are lying and and to worship morgoth and slaughter the faithful by sacrificing them on.....hm....altars....as rebels and as scapegoats for all numenor’s Problems(TM)....>_>....lmao tolkien can be really fucking dumb and scattered about his mythology and religion patchworking, and yet the wokeness-masturbating section of fandom is infinitely worse in the most predictable ways.

WHITE TREE FRACTALS (this time featuring bonus BAMF and Super Awesome And Lovable 21 Year Old Isildur......have i mentioned recently how much i hate peter jackson......)

anyway when Pharazon has a mid-life crisis about getting old sauron also convinces him he can become immortal by invading aman, which he should totally do bc The Strong Do What They Will And The Weak Bear What They Must (remember this is tragically admirable if flawed, because it’s defying fate!) and a super armament is built to invade aman and ar-Pharazon’s ex-bff Amandil who’s secretly friends with the Faithful freaks and makes secret plans to sail to valinor to beg the valar to do something and has his son elendil prepare to go to middle earth to see the elves who are hunkered down there doing.....uhhhhh???? probably hiding from numenorean conquest????

but anyway when pharazon invades aman and chases the elves out of tol eressea and then tirion, he has a Uh-Oh I Think This Was A Bad Idea feeling but can’t back down now so he lands ashore and camps out around tirion and then manwe prays to eru to bail everyone out and says he will lay down rule of arda for a minute since he doesn’t know what to do, presumably a la ‘omg dad i fucked up and totally crashed your car,’ and eru solves this by getting ar-pharazon & co buried under a mountain until the end of the world (funny how so few fans ever address this thing re: tirion in valinor fanfic eh? oh yeah i forgot silm fans don’t give a shit about humans), opening up a big crack in the ocean, pulling aman and tol eressea out into space, turning the earth from flat to spherical, and letting the island of numenor get buried under the resulting tidal wave and fall down the crack to wherever. because you know overkill is great! also sauron is too busy doing an Evil Villain Laugh to realize he’s about to get drowned and he totally dies and has to make himself a new body out of Anger and he’s now ugly, which sucks for the fanartists.

anyway manwe saves elendil and his fleet (it doesn’t say manwe, but it does say ‘but the great wind took [elendil], wilder than any wind that Men had known, roaring from the west, and it swept his ships far away...’ which, duh) and they wind up washed up on middle earth, but totally grief-stricken over the destruction of numenor.

I can’t liveblog the rest any better than verbatim so I’ll just quote:

Among the Exiles many believed that the summit of the Meneltarma, the Pillar of Heaven, was not drowned for ever, but rose again above the waves, a lonely island lost in the great waters; for it had been a hallowed place, and even in the days of Sauron none had defiled it And some there were of the seed of Eärendil that afterwards sought for it, because it was said among loremasters that the far-sighted men of old could see from the Meneltarma a glimmer of the Deathless Land. For even after the ruin the hearts of the Dúnedain were still set westwards; and though they knew indeed that the world was changed, they said: 'Avallónë is vanished from the Earth and the Land of Aman is taken away, and in the world of this present darkness they cannot be found. Yet once they were, and therefore they still are, in true being and in the whole shape of the world as at first it was devised.'

For the Dúnedain held that even mortal Men, if so blessed, might look upon other times than those of their bodies' life; and they longed ever to escape from the shadows of their exile and to see in some fashion the light that dies not; for the sorrow of the thought of death had pursued them over the deeps of the sea. Thus it was that great mariners among them would still search the empty seas, hoping to come upon the Isle of Meneltarma, and there to see a vision of things that were. But they found it not. And those that sailed far came only to the new lands, and found them like to the old lands, and subject to death. And those that sailed furthest set but a girdle about the Earth and returned weary at last to the place of their beginning; and they said:

'All roads are now bent.'

Thus in after days, what by the voyages of ships, what by lore and star-craft, the kings of Men knew that the world was indeed made round, and yet the Eldar were permitted still to depart and to come to the Ancient West and to Avallónë, if they would. Therefore the loremasters of Men said that a Straight Road must still be, for those that were permitted to find it. And they taught that, while the new world fell away, the old road and the path of the memory of the West still went on, as it were a mighty bridge invisible that passed through the air of breath and of flight (which were bent now as the world was bent), and traversed Ilmen which flesh unaided cannot endure, until it came to Tol Eressëa, the Lonely Isle, and maybe even beyond, to Valinor, where the Valar still dwell and watch the unfolding of the story of the world. And tales and rumours arose along the shores of the sea concerning mariners and men forlorn upon the water who, by some fate or grace or favour of the Valar, had entered in upon the Straight Way and seen the face of the world sink below them, and so had come to the lamplit quays of Avallónë, or verily to the last beaches on the margin of Aman, and there had looked upon the White Mountain, dreadful and beautiful, before they died.

[kmp78]

I now wonder more if J was ever really all that poor. At first they lived with CL’s parents. The grandpa was in the military,then had some sort of business. Maybe CL just took off to some Woodstock pseudo-hippie summer commune thing where other kids of the rich and middle class would “rebel” and feel so edgy and far out,man,unlike their square parents who just can’t understand this new age stuff. CL was rolling a joint in that famous pic of her looking up & J said he remembered pot growing up

JL obviously wants to portray the image of a free hippie upbringing because that´s what makes him seem interesting and intriguing and wild.

If he was the product of a happy marriage and grew up in a duplex in a white collar neighborhood and sat in the front row during Mrs. Johnson´s Math 101 and got straight As and was the president of the chess club, his “rags to riches” story would be massively underwhelming.

Now he STILL keeps working overtime to make sure EVERYONE understands how radical and awesomesauce his life was and how he is NOT IN ANY WAY like all us Regular Joes and Janes.

(Disclaimer and rules)

[palaces-in-every-paragraph]

Fandom 5K Letter!

A03 Name: LadyReisling

First of all, thank you SO MUCH for writing for me. I know I’m going to love whatever you come up with! I truly appreciate  the time and effort you are going to put into this. PLEASE do not stress over it; I am really very easy to please and just looking forward to seeing what you come up with. I’ve jotted down some basic prompts here, follow them or don’t--the choice is yours!

Style Stuff:

Competency is absolutely my greatest kink. I also have a decent-sized hair kink and love hair-touching/stroking/brushing, etc, as well as any kind of safe touch. I like friendship in love, equal partnerships, ass-kicking females, friends to lovers, grudging respect that becomes not so grudging, fluff and cuteness, light angst (angst over the perfect gift, for example), caretaking, hairbrushing, cuddling and tender kissing, blanket/bed-sharing in a totally platonic way, all the non-sexual intimacy and tenderness, late-night talks, letters. Tenderly-described safe touch makes me squee. I don’t mind sex so long as it’s consensual between adults, well-written, driven by emotions, and true to character. My favorite AUs are coffee shop and library.

My A03 bookmarks are pretty heavy on MCU and Hamilton, my two latest obsessions. I love mission fic/casefic, adventures, unwinding/caretaking after a mission, celebrations, and all the happy things.

I adore setting detail and good descriptive writing. Fall is absolutely my favorite season--so perfect for walks, crisp air, toasted marshmallows, apple orchard trips, cider and donuts, colorful leaves that crunch underfoot, hay rides, cozy sweaters, knitting, lazy weekends, bonfires (or fires in fireplaces) new pens and notebooks, etc. I also love holidays and celebrations--all of them equally, so whatever feels natural to you and the characters is great. Cultural descriptions and events are fabulous, as well as setting, time period, and seasonal details. I’ve been blessed to grow up and live my entire life in a place with four distinct seasons, and as long as I’m not driving in them, I actually adore blizzards and being snowed in. If you happen to live in a place where you don’t have seasons, I’m sorry! But pull up some Google images and describe away and I’ll love it.

Dislikes:

D/s relationships, PWP, A/B/O dynamics (I don’t understand how these work), dark/dystopian or supernatural AUs. Please no kidfic.

Hard Squicks:

Please no rape/non- or dub-con, rough sex, underage, graphic violence, suicide or self-harm, depression, or non-canonical character death. All of the above are major triggers for me. Also, in general, I feel like the world needs to come together and celebrate love and inclusion without judgment. In other words, please use this exchange to make the world a softer place for everyone.

Specific Fandoms and Prompts:

Code Name Verity - Maddie, Julie

This is one of my absolute favorite books ever. I would love to see the early days of the war, how they became best friends and maybe something more. Show me each of them knowing more about the other’s job than they strictly should--Maddie showing Julie how to navigate/fly or fix an engine, Julie teaching Maddie how to communicate in code. Did they write each other letters in a code known only to the two of them? Give me their stolen moments of friendship or dates in the middle of mayhem, nights at the pub, bike rides, perfecting cover stories, meeting each other’s families, days when Julie doesn’t have an assignment and Maddie is grounded because of weather or the need for repairs, sharing newspapers and iced buns and making jokes out of their fears. Show me the cuddling and comforting that goes on after missions/interrogations. Give me a missing scene from that time that they don’t see each other, during which Julie’s brother Jamie gets hurt. Do they have an umbrella that they pass between the two of them as a token, a reminder of their first meeting? Was the whole meeting between Maddie and Jamie a setup on Julie’s part, so that Maddie could be taken care of/stay in Julie’s family if something happened to Julie? Was Maddie’s relationship with Jamie originally meant to be a front for her and Julie’s relationship, which then became something entirely different that grew out of their shared grief over Julie? How does a lesbian couple manage to date in the middle of a war, and particularly World War II? How much pining goes on before it comes to fruition?

Agent Carter: Peggy/Angie, Peggy, Ana, Edwin

Agent Carter is maybe my favorite TV show of all time. I love the dynamic between Peggy and the girls at the Griffith, and I love how Angie never gives up on Peggy, even when Peggy isn’t sure how to be a friend and a spy at the same time. How does Angie react to her the revelation of the real nature of Peggy’s work? What was Angie up to in Season 2? Show me the two of them living in the Griffith or Howard’s house, shopping, Peggy teaching Angie some tricks of the trade to get around the strict rules of the Griffith, friendship, shopping, dates, ways to sneak out, Angie bringing Peggy out of her shell and into an easier integration of spy and civilian. Or Angie coming to California and getting involved with an investigation of Thompson’s death along with Peggy and the Jarvises, wittingly or unwittingly.

For Peggy, Ana, and Edwin: Play up Ana’s role and competency in this threesome. Do they investigate Jack’s death together, with the SSR boys in the background? I love how all three of these characters are fiercely competent in their own ways. Give me a fix-it for Ana’s tiny role of worrier-in-chief and make her as kickass as she deserves to be. Also, please please please give me all the post-canon in this fandom because I might go insane from not knowing who killed Jack Thompson and why. Feel free also to use any characters you want in the background or the foreground because I seriously love all of them.

MCU: Nat, Maria, Steve, Sam, Bucky, Peggy, Clint

To put it simply: I adore the MCU. You can really mix up any of these characters or any of the ones I didn’t mention in almost any way you want and I’ll love it. Given the revelations in Age of Ultron, I am dying to know what really happened in Budapest. I love how Sam really “gets” Steve and Bucky in a way that no one else does. Show me Bucky coming out of cryosleep to banter with Sam and remind Steve not to take himself and his life too seriously. Mix up Nat and Steve assuming that Nat wasn’t Steve’s first kiss since 1945, and Peggy was. Show me Nat bonding with Peggy, who gets her in a unique way. Show me Nat and Clint adopting Peggy as their unofficial handler, consulting with her before missions and debriefing with her after. For this fandom, I prefer espionage action over fight action. But really, do whatever you want with as many characters as you like.

Hamilton: Hamilton/Washington, Hamilton/Burr

Let me say upfront that I tolerate the daddy kink that pervades this fandom, but it isn’t my favorite thing. I don’t mind modern AUs here, but really, really, really love the canon era. I enjoy Washington as Hamilton’s hero and mentor and and Burr as his relentless competitor in any era. UST fluff on any front is good here, as is the fight/make-up scene when one pushes the other too far. How many drafts did Washington write of his letter that basically said “I messed up when I sent you home, come back please?” How long did it take him to figure out that he wanted the cannon-stealing daredevil to be his secretary? (We know that Hamilton was a helluva writer, but did Washington? How so?) Take me behind the scenes of the Levi Weeks trial with Aaron and Alexander, or inside Burr’s head during Non-Stop (was he actually hellaciously worried that Hamilton was legit going to work himself to death and hang them all out to dry--afraid not that the Constitution would fail, but that Hamilton would fail?) and the whole thought process of his decision not to participate in the writing of the Federalist? Give me the life and hard times of the Revolution, slice of life, camp life, the good, the bad, and the ugly--the horrors of war are a good spot for unexpected light in the darkness, like indulging my caretaking/HC kink. Or anything really.

The Martian: Beck, Mark

And again, another place to play with the HC and caretaking kinks and play up the humor. Show me all the training shenanigans, Beck taking care of Mark after they rescue him, or watching his video journals and being all like “JFC, he’s going to kill himself before we get there” or whatever. I love Beth/Beck too, so feel free to bring her in, or any other characters. Show it all the setting love, Mars science, awesomesauce. 

Thank you again, so much! See you on the other side of the swap!