#Long Withdrawals

[lotus-pear]

last post before i enter the medieval torture apparatus (ap exam week)

[juniper-clan]

Moon 18 Pt. 2: Bound

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[yinyuedijun]

kitsune!suo x fem reader | feudal japan au

→ notes for an au set in feudal japan, featuring supernatural creatures and spirits (e.g., youkai). suo is a kitsune, sakura is a nekomata, and nirei is an onmyouji. → see this post for backstory on the bofurin trio (recommended background reading)

note: most information on kitsune-mochi were sourced from folkorist lafcadio hearn's accounts of traveling in japan (c.1901). I did, of course, also take creative license with some of the lore.

reader | kitsune-mochi (fox-employing witch)

→ as a kitsune-mochi, you are a human who has entered a contract with a fox spirit to care for it in exchange for having it lend you its power and carry out your requests. → in your case, your familiar is suo, a nine-tailed kitsune that lost his hoshi no tama. → most witches employ kitsune for the purpose of carrying out malicious acts, like having the fox spirit possess their enemies, steal the wealth of other people, etc. you, however, rely on suo and his power in order to perform exorcisms and exterminate demons—something that you cannot do on your own because you have no innate spiritual talents yourself.

→ although a convenient source of power, these deals are typically risky for the contract holder. you are expected to care for suo for the rest of your life, and any descendants you might have would be cursed to serve him as well. kitsune-mochi are heavily ostracized by human society as well, so if this relationship of yours were to be discovered, then your entire bloodline would suffer. → additionally, these contracts typically favour the kitsune, as they are the ones who define what it means to be "cared for", and may request dangerous or unreasonable tasks. → fortunately for you, suo is not a very demanding familiar! the most basic act of caring for a fox spirit is feeding it, and he's more or less happy with anything you make, though he especially likes tea, wagashi, or dishes with aburaage. this is more or less all he asks of you! → suo's disposition is generally so patient and gentle that you nearly disbelieved that he was a youkai. you were convinced for a while that he was actually a messenger of god who was lying to you about his identity for some reason. (at the very least, you'd noticed that he had a habit of lying to people generally, though this was an unsurprising trait for a fox and it was usually harmless fun.) → this perception of him was shattered when you saw him fight a youkai that seriously injured you. he spent an uncomfortable amount of time toying with it in a distinctly humiliating fashion before finally putting it out of its misery. it was only in that moment that you realised that you'd signed yourself and all of your descendants up for serving a literal demon 👍

→ warning: immortal/human relationship, immortal deity meets reader as a child but doesn't get to know or grow close to them until they're an adult

your backstory with suo

→ at a very young age, you were adopted and raised by a priestess of an inari shrine belonging to a small mountain village. consequently, you developed a deep respect for the kami and affection for foxes. → as a child, you once found a one-eyed, wild fox in a near-death state. this was suo after he lost his hoshi no tama in a battle with a demon—but to you, he just looked like a regular animal. most people would have let this creature die peacefully, but you were adamant on nursing it back to health. while caring for him, you named him mr. adzuki because of the colour of his fur, which suo finds incredibly funny to this day. → suo disappeared after recovering, never making his true identity known. however, out of gratitude toward you and the priestesses for allowing him refuge, he decided to act as the guardian spirit of the village, protecting it until the end of your life. → conveniently, this meant that suo got to eat all the offerings given to inari's messengers at your shrine, as well as allowing him to gain power from the prayers directed toward him. (inari himself seemed not to mind, as no actual fox messengers showed up to throw hands with suo.)

image: gashadokuro, a youkai made from the skulls of humans who died in battle.

→ although your village was peaceful throughout your childhood due to suo's protection, in your adult years, a violent conflict between humans and demons broke out in your mountain range. this resulted in the destruction of nearly all its towns and the brutal deaths of your fellow villagers. suo, not at full power, was unable to stop this, but made it his goal to save you from the carnage. → after allowing you time to grieve your loved ones, suo—still considering himself indebted to you—asked what you would like to do next. he offered you wealth, status, and other material things, but none of these appealed to you. → recognising that the mountains you grew up in would be plagued by malevolent spirits and demons for centuries after all the bloodshed that just occurred, you asked suo to teach you jujutsu. your goal was to exorcise all the vengeful spirits, exterminate the demons, and purify the mountain range so that its villages could peacefully rebuild. → given your lack of innate spiritual abilities, suo suggested that you make a pact with him and become a kitsune-mochi to acquire powers. not wanting to deceive you, however, he fully explained how dangerous it might be to enter such a relationship, and warned you not to trust fox youkai like himself.

→ nevertheless, you accepted his offer and became a witch.

image: sakura irl

meeting sakura & nirei

→ you and suo thus embark on this crazy mission to purify the entire mountain range. while you are more than capable of exorcisms and exterminations, your spiritual abilities (one of a youkai) do not allow you to purify the land. → but that's okay, because nirei and sakura have been traversing these same mountains to exorcise and hunt demons! being an onmyouji, nirei can perform all kinds of purification rituals. when you inevitably run into the two of them, and suo suggests that you all work together. → nirei is more than happy to help you purify the mountain range (because he is a good-hearted person, and also because he usually gets assignments there anyway). he improves his jujutsu under suo's tutelage, and he gets insights on kitsune that he'd otherwise never learn (it's rare for an onmyouji to meet a kitsune-mochi unless it's to prosecute them for some kind of crime, and it's just plain hard to meet and talk with a nine-tailed fox spirit). → sakura is a harder sell. he doesn't trust suo at all at the start, and he trusts him even less when he finds out that he's a kitsune and has been lying egregiously to him. (sakura and nirei spent an entire month thinking that suo was a traveling tea merchant from china and being fed severe misinformation about the entire country.) → however, sakura is very curious about you, because you're the first human he's ever met who has a mutual and trusting relationship with a demon, which he didn't think was possible beyond weirdos like nirei. → you also aren't afraid of him at all even after seeing his nekomata form, which gives him complicated feelings. he reasons that this is because you've fought too many demons to be afraid of any of them, but the actual truth is just that you find suo incredibly scary, and sakura feels harmless and adorable in comparison </3 → sakura deeply enjoys the act of helping the mountain towns and being accepted by their communities, though he's very shy about admitting it! eventually, he does "resign" to joining you in a long-term arrangement, and the four of you take on the endless mission of exorcising and cleansing the mountain range together. it's a very "monster of the week" type of set-up hehe

→ although the work of purifying the mountain range will likely take the rest of your life (and probably will require generations after you), suo often asks you what you would like to do after the work is complete—so that he can think of ways to grant your request. → you decide not to tell him this, but your wish would be to return to your old village grounds and rebuild the shrine that you grew up in. rather than just inari, you would also dedicate it to the worship of the one-eyed fox spirit that once protected your village.

[wildstar25]

There's nothing G'raha loves more than reading a book in the fresh air... except maybe getting to run his hands through Arsay's hair.

[whetstonefires]

You know I'm realizing one reason you keep seeing mdzs modern AUs where the Jiang parents are alive mainly so they can dramatically fail and betray Wei Wuxian by cutting him off financially--defaulting on his college tuition or formally disowning him etc--isn't just that people want to translate the Burial Mounds II arc into modern terms while keeping Jiang Cheng clean of it.

(Despite the fact that the internal logic of Jiang Cheng's character is largely built around him being a person who would abandon someone he intensely cared about under these specific circumstances.)

It's because it's hard to set up a modern analogue for the way that Jiang Cheng is responsible for Wei Wuxian, as his Sect Leader.

We live in a highly individualistic society. People are trying to write Wei Wuxian Tragically Wronged, and because there's a normative expectation that people in the position of parents will provide you with resources, and certainly won't withdraw them without warning, but no such assumption that people in the position of siblings necessarily owe each other support, making this work in modern setting with Jiang Cheng in his canon role would require a lot of extra work, just to get a less readily resonant result.

But I keep thinking about it. Because something that's getting lost here is, not just the nuances of character and relationship, but like...it's sort of key to the story that cutting Wei Wuxian off was, in fact, Completely Socially Appropriate.

The level on which it was a betrayal is subtle, and deeply cutting. And intensely tied up in the very different opinions each of Jiang Cheng's parents had about what obligations existed in their family wrt Wei Wuxian, and what these meant.

The level on which it was the obvious, normal course of action is blatant. That is to a huge extent why it happens: because Jiang Cheng's instinct to conform is a survival instinct, reinforced by trauma, and Wei Wuxian's choices meant he had no coherently compelling reason not to obey it, and enormous peer pressure to do so.

The fact is that Jiang Cheng was making a reasonable choice, the actual thing 'anyone would do in that situation,' unlike Wei Wuxian and Jin Guangyao's respective wildly warped ideas about what that is.

Wei Wuxian wasn't betrayed by Jiang Sect like your foster parents cutting you off because you're disobedient. Wei Wuxian was betrayed by Jiang Sect like your brother refusing to drop fifty grand to bail you out of jail.

Of course Wei Wuxian tells him not to. And of course the fact that Jiang Cheng already chose in the moment not to pay a cent because Fuck You Wei Ying still stands there glaring, a precedent that can never be taken back.

And then later he's betrayed by Jiang Cheng like your brother cooperating with a police investigation into a manslaughter you really did commit, that's being handled like domestic terrorism. And then like your brother calling the cops on you. And then like your brother helping the cops find where you're hiding.

I'm personally fascinated by the way Jiang Cheng's lifelong resentment for the way Jiang Fengmian reliably bailed Wei Wuxian out of everything informed those decisions to do the normal thing, the way he's reacting against his dead father as well as against Wei Wuxian and the actual situation.

But even without that daddy issues angle, the fact that the person who made that choice was Jiang Cheng, and that it was simultaneously the reasonable appropriate normal upstanding citizen rational thing to do and so shitty Wei Wuxian would be entitled never to forgive it is sort of. The Point.

Of the scenario, and also to a considerable degree of the entire finely tuned narrative construct that is Jiang Cheng.

[thyandrawrites]

The inherent soulmatism of recognizing on sight the shred of your zhiji's soul without even needing to see the cloud light sword light up, when even the baize goddess' golden eyes couldn't tell it was him.

Something something, Emily Brontë's"He's more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same." In this essay I will—

[sadquickchristmassnowman]

“we can have a candlelight vigil like lesbians on the news!!!” episode 2 and annie “girlkisser” edison is already longing for bits of that wlw lifestyle. I know what you are

[lotus-pear]

i miss them......please come back........please come home :((

[paleo-vodka]

UGhhh

[catman-draws]

Porrim Jumpscare

[baihujun]

Been a while. A Hal for the summer ☀️👕

[anghraine]

jenndoesnotcare replied to this post:

Every time LDS kids come to my neighborhood I am so so nice to them. I hope they remember the blue haired lady who was kind, when people try to convince them the outside world is bad and scary. (Also they are always so young! I want to feed them cookies and give them Diana Wynne Jones books or something)

Thank you! Honestly, this sort of kindness can go a really long way, even if it doesn't seem like it at the time.

LDS children and missionaries (and the majority of the latter are barely of age) are often the people who interact the most with non-Mormons on a daily basis, and thus are kind of the "face" of the Church to non-Mormons a lot of the time. As a result, they're frequently the ones who actually experience the brunt of antagonism towards the Church, which only reinforces the distrust they've already been taught to feel towards the rest of the world.

It's not that the Church doesn't deserve this antagonism, but a lot of people seem to take this enormous pride in showing up Mormon teenagers who have spent most of their lives under intense social pressure, instruction, expectation, and close observation from both their peers and from older authorities in the Church (it largely operates on seniority, so young unmarried people in particular tend to have very little power within its hierarchies). Being "owned" for clout by non-Mormons doesn't prove anything to most of them except that their leaders and parents are right and they can't trust people outside the Church.

The fact that the Church usually does provide a tightly-knit community, a distinct and familiar culture, and a well-developed infrastructure for supporting its members' needs as long as they do [xyz] means that there can be very concrete benefits to staying in the Church, staying closeted, whatever. So if, additionally, a Mormon kid has every reason to think that nobody outside the Church is going to extend compassion or kindness towards them, that the rest of the world really is as hostile and dangerous as they've been told, the stakes for leaving are all the higher, despite the costs of staying.

So people from "outside" who disrupt this narrative of a hostile, threatening world that cannot conceivably understand their experiences or perspectives can be really important. It's important for them to know that there are communities and reliable support systems outside the Church, that leaving the Church does not have to mean being a pariah in every context, that there are concrete resources outside the Church, that compassion and decency in ordinary day-to-day life is not the province of any particular religion or sect and can be found anywhere. This kind of information can be really important evidence for people to have when they are deciding how much they're willing to risk losing.

So yeah, all of this is to say that you're doing a good thing that may well provide a lifeline for very vulnerable people, even if you don't personally see results at the time.

[pixelatedraindrops]

Baby Makoto AU Doodle Dump🐣

Hiya everyone! So, I’ve been busy working on some art of this new little concept of mine. It’s been in my head for a while. Ever since I found out Makoto is in fact canonically 3 years old. And then thinking of Number One being a doting single parent to his tiny homunculus clone whom he adopts to keep safe from further experimentation and raises as his own 🥺💕

I’ve seen other people (specifically on twitter) come up with this thought as well. Makoto as a 3 year old child with Yuma as his parent. Honestly other than drawing my favorite characters being sick, drawing them as little kids also brings about a nostalgic comfort to me. Not nearly as much joy as drawing sickies brings me, but it was fun to draw the all powerful CEO as a little toddler curious about the world. He's just a little baby <3

Now I am actually a bit shy and insecure about this idea. Mainly due to people possibly confusing it with infantilization and/or age regression. This is neither of those things. It’s an AU where he just happens to be a toddler. If anything I picture little Makoto to be similar to Anya from Spy x Family. (and the fact they both share a Japanese VA makes this connection even cuter, and he's only one year younger than her x3)

Anyway, I hope you all will indulge in me as I share the art I’ve done of this tiny little homunculus. I probably won’t talk about this au or draw it often due to feeling shy about it, so I just made a full on thread of the doodles if you want to see. I keep them under a read more to prevent spam (and I know not everyone is a fan of this concept)

But if you look, I hope you enjoy!

A little reference of sorts I made of my toddler Makoto design. (though he wears different clothing in every art I do of him lol this just connects his normal purple flowery attire) He is exactly 2 feet shorter than his usual height making him pretty small for a toddler. (but yuma is pretty short too lol and I want him to be able to carry him ;w;)

He has 2 special toys that connect to his other mask designs in the concept art. The teddy bear is his very special possession that Yuma gave him as a present, and the puppet teruteru-bozu is something he made together with Yuma when crafting on a rainy day. (he is so talented preparing him for the future when he actually develops products for the company he will run) The melon ball is based on his favorite fruit, and he has socks and a fuzzy blanket with the pattern of his mask.

In this AU, Yuma retains his Number One persona. He’s not meek apologetic and unsure, he has the confidence of the ultimate detective. But is he confident as a parent? Not in the slightest. But taking care of Makoto teaches him more about being kind and empathetic towards others, and eventually over time he becomes super protective and even at times doting towards Makoto.

Making his personality a bit more bright and pleasant, much like the kind and gentle Yuma that we all know and love. Parenthood causes the serious detective to soften up a lot. And of course this causes Makoto to love and depend on Yuma in return and never want to cause him trouble. (So he puts on a tough act a lot ;w;) However, he almost never calls Yuma dad. He just calls him Yuma. Its very rare that he refers to Yuma as his dad but this is perfectly okay by Yuma. (But when Makoto does call him dad? Yuma feels such unexplainable emotional discord that he almost cries.)

Some more doodles :3

Such a silly little family. I love them so much <3

Why did I think of this AU? Because I want Makoto and pre-game Yuma to not be lonely, be happy together, and for Makoto to have a childhood. Honestly Makoto seems a bit childish and playful in canon too so...

I think I'd like him to have an actual childhood where he grows up comfortable and happy. And in the care of someone who loves him 💜

[hestzhyen]

Chapter 53 Fear Posting

Hello, kind internet void. What a chapter, huh? Not much to say other than I need someone to heal Chihiro's pain pronto.

That's a lie, of course- there's always a yapfest from me. Thanks for tolerating my nonsense as usual.

Hiruhiko Gets Fucked

Ch. 49

Ch. 53

How it started vs. how it's going for our playful psychopath foil

I loved this moment. Instead of shaking the protagonist and making him question himself, Hiruhiko's trolling just shows us that Chihiro is already well aware of how people see him.

Hiruhiko tried to call a bluff with the ol' reliable "I'm just like you" to make the MC question everything he's done, but it backfired in a huge way. He should have been paying attention since the start:

Chs. 1 & 6

Chihiro wasn't just being edgy in these moments early on, Mr. Discount Mahito.

I enjoy when the author has the protagonist confront that they really aren't so different from their sworn enemies. When done well, it helps the character clarify their moral stance and adds depth as they incorporate some of their enemy's ideals into their own worldview. But Sojo already forced Chihiro to do this. So what value would Hiruhiko doing the same have? Is it different just because they're close in age and Hiruhiko said he already understood Chihiro?

Nope. The meaning comes from Hiruhiko posing a different question.

Sojo asked: who gets to have the final say over Kunishige's intent? The answer Chihiro came to is: the one who's willing to go the farthest to fight for their vision.

Hiruhiko asked: are you aware of how evil you appear to be by going so far? Chihiro answers that he is, and always has been.

I'm really pleased with this turn of events! The flippant piece of shit doesn't get to waltz in and completely upend the protagonist's worldview by pointing out that he's killing people for once. Instead, we get an amazing inversion of the scenario that makes me want to cry for Chihiro. I trusted Hokazono-sensei to do a crisis of conscience arc well but this is a much better outcome IMO. It's never too late to try and exploit a character's cognitive dissonance between their beliefs and actions, so good try Hiruhiko. You just tried to fuck with the wrong traumatized MC. Enjoy being two arms lighter for the next few chapters.

Seriously though, fuck Hiruhiko. I appreciate his role in the narrative and I'm looking forward to what he does next, but he's kind of on the same level as Soya for me. I will cheer his death and not mourn one bit when we move on from him for good.

But we shouldn't be glad when people are killed, should we?

On Death and Killing Intent

This chapter had many jaw-dropping action moments but they're all so sad.

In my Chapter 51 post, I went on a bit of a tangent about how the adult cast all seem to have a heavy burden that they're using to try and steer the younger generation. Samura, Shiba, Kunishige, and Uruha all reject the idea of being "heroes" and the first three are shown to be reluctant to take lives if they can help it. Because killing is a wrongful act that leads one to hell. Doesn't matter what one's intentions are- taking a life is an act of evil. The adults didn't want the younger generation to revere them or try to follow in their footsteps.

But Chihiro chose to do so anyway, and he's taken their mindset to heart to help himself commit to the bit.

Doesn't matter that Chihiro tanked all of Hiruhiko's attacks to let the audience escape. Doesn't matter that he held back to avoid accidental casualties. Doesn't matter that he's ridding the world of the Hishaku's evil. He's a killer - a monster- that's going to hell. And he's resigned to it. He doesn't even have the excuse of saving lives or fighting a war to hide behind- he's steeping himself in sin for selfish reasons.

I was wrong about Samura having to teach Chihiro how to buckle down despite knowing he's walking the path to hell- Chihiro can already do it. So Hiruhiko was right. They're both drenched in blood with no chance for redemption. But that wasn't what Chihiro was pissed about last chapter. It was Hiruhiko assuming their reasoning for killing as being the same that got to him.

Chihiro doesn't find pleasure in killing someone, obviously. Not even Sojo, who was an objectively evil child torturer that wanted to use Kunishige's works to massacre innocents. But when Chihiro's alone against true evil, like his fights against Sojo and Hiruhiko, he goes full-on villain mode to meet them where they are. He's walking straight to hell and doesn't care about how it makes him look when the people he cares about aren't there to see him at his worst.

I posted a little bit about how loved Chihiro is even if he won't let himself realize or accept it, and it's true more than ever now. Chihiro's not a good guy. We shouldn't be thinking he's a purely wholesome person. But he's a damn sympathetic protagonist who is in a truly unbearable amount of pain, and I want him to just... let himself cry or something.

We don't mind that he's a murderer since we see him focus on doing what good he can, like taking detours for abused orphans and risking his life to save helpless captives. He's not the same as the vile scum he kills. Chihiro, though... "All scum go to hell!" is one of the earliest taglines of the series. Pretty sure he would apply this to himself, too. He's in a self-destructive spiral and we're just now seeing how far gone his mental state is.

What's that saying... the road to hell is paved with good intentions?

Chihiro and Samura

Seems like Kunishige was (or could have been) quite the warrior himself based on Shiba's comment... putting a pin in that.

Samura's got a ton of death flags, sorry to say. He's just scooping them up and dumping them all over himself. Not gonna stake my life on this or anything but Tobimune is probably going to be usable by the Hishaku somewhat soon... I hope Chihiro gets to reunite with him one last time before that happens though. Surely next chapter is where the gang gets back together...? Hakuri will probably teleport Chihiro to the temple once he's recovered, so it'll just be a matter of Chihiro getting Hiruhiko to talk enough before that happens.

Not that the type of food has deep symbolic meaning, but Chihiro and Samura are sharing traditional tea snacks; probably higashi (干菓子) of the rakugan variety. They're extremely dry and sweet, so I doubt Chihiro enjoyed them- is that why they're untouched? Maybe Chihiro wasn't actually willing to stop looking at Samura as a hero despite what he said? I don't want to make guesses about the meaning of the food being uneaten. I've been too fried by IRL stress to have much time to think about fun stuff lately. Just know that this is another food=connection/understanding moment that's a bit strained instead of comfortable. (Hakuri's still the only person we've seen Chihiro willingly accept an offer of food from and actually eat... hm.)

No wonder Chihiro considers himself a monster if a "hero" like Samura talks about himself like one. Noble beliefs (hi, Hiyuki!) don't shield you from the horror that lurks in your conscience. It's really respectable of Samura to be so blunt about the reality of what he did and try to steer away Chihiro from admiring him, but the consequences we see now are...

None of them could have known that Chihiro would end up like this a little over three years later (hopefully). He took the lesson of "killing=monstrous" to heart a little too well, sadly... so who can help him break that mindset? Assuming the author wants to say that Chihiro's not the villain he thinks he is, at least. Which is reasonable. He might not be a hero, but he's not truly a monster either.

It depends on who else knows about how he's faring and if Chihiro will let anyone in to help. Keep close tabs on how he interacts with Hakuri and Hiyuki, IMO. One or both of them will probably be the key to him at least stabilizing his metaphorical descent into darkness. Even if they can't pull him out, they can walk through hell at his side.

Hakuri's more than willing to do this already- I wouldn't be at all surprised if he considers staying with Chihiro to be the best part of his life so far, despite all the hardships that he will face. He was already in hell when they met and Chihiro helped pull him out of it. Hiyuki's the bigger question since we hardly know anything about her right now. Her faith in Chihiro as someone who only kills bad guys is important, though. As of this chapter, I can see her helping him out if she believes it's the morally right thing to do.

Spaghetti Queen Thoughts

I'm a little surprised we've left Hiyuki behind for most of the arc to this point, so I do wonder where she'll factor in and how much.

She's set up to be just as important as Hakuri was during the Rakuzaichi arc thanks to her strong ties to the Kamunabi. And there are issues with her that are completely unexplored; namely, her convictions clashing with how the Kamunabi operates. Maybe we'll see her again with the other two bearers? Or when things shift back to Kamunabi HQ for the blood test reveal and such?

I wonder how she'll be motivating Chihiro. They squabble like siblings already; she's the only one who genuinely gets under his skin (which is very cute if you ask me). Both of them are headstrong and idealistic, but Hiyuki doesn't seem to be down on herself and what she does nearly as much as Chihiro is. So maybe that'll be the angle... hard to say when there are so many unknowns, so obviously she needs to come back ASAP to give us more insight!

Thanks for letting me ramble, kind void... see you next week if I make it there.

[afrsconp]

What does this mean 😭 is it a tease 😭 will Nigel be in another episode soon 😭

Also look at his fucking FACE, you guys. JUST LOOK AT IT. That is not the face of a man who is 100% ok with just being friends.

[cryptidteaparty]

Istg if I find Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Seek and it fucking sucks, I will fucking kms.