#Luciblogging

[casimania]

Lucifer season 6 spoilers ahead:

With Hell as a place to work through your issues/guilt/redeem yourself with Lucifer helping my Cain and Abel meeting in Hell idea could realistically be canon. While Abel may not be the source of what is keeping Cain in Hell, Cain is probably one of the major causes Abel is. So yeah, joint Hell therapy session. Everyone hates it at first.

[kitwilsonsass]

hey, ya'll wanna know my feelings on michael?

[insert string of profanities so absurd here they can't even properly be expressed through the power of the written word]

[casimania]

Piercifer AU where they get together and have sex and realize mid-fuck that they had already done in it the past and just didn't remember.

Like 4 thousands years ago or something so it's pretty far back for Cain too, for Lucifer it was just a very sex intensive period so he had a general idea of what went down but it's not like he went around with a Cain shaped memory in his head. It was probably part of an orgy and Cain was shitfaced enough the details are fuzzy.

But they just do something specific in present day and both go "Oh this reminds me of..." and go on to recall the same exact instance and both go "What the fuck". And of course Lucifer ends up being the one to remember the most things and he's delighted about it, Cain not so much.

[casimania]

Cain doesn't die in season 3 nightmare scenario: not only is he alive to see his mother come down from Heaven to fuck around with Lucifer, Maze and random humans all looking 10 years younger than him. But after his stint on Earth Abel somehow lets go of his guilt in Hell, is the first soul to come free of his loop ascend to Heaven, realizes time runs slower than on Earth and is mighty boring and discovers his mother thought the same and took a trip down to Earth so he does the same. So now there's Abel too alive and well and also doing nothing but party, fuck around and find himself.

[casimania]

Since I found funny how Pierce was close to Chloe and treated her like a human being for like 5 minutes instead of keeping her at a distance by being an unpleasant dick and probaby felt 1 positive emotion towards her because of this and immediately went "This... must be love. Must get married and die with her asap."

... Piercifer version were they have to be close and not be dicks to each other for whatever reason (pretend to be involved so Pierce can come back and forth from Lucifer's place more freely and they can discuss stuff in private without people asking questions, or everyone made assumptions and they didn't deny them and kept the ruse going, just spend a lot of time planning his demise and Lucifer gets more endearing the more someone stays around him, actually part of Lucifer's plan and Pierce goes along with it etc...) and Pierce goes through the same thing.

The emotionally stunted, human connection starved part of him goes "Wait. Spending time with him feels. Nice? I like this?? He's also immortal. Must be with him forever, problem solved". While the depressed, selfish and weary parts of his brain is like "Nope, be rude. Immortality is relative and we're tired. Just disappear. Be rude some more."

Lucifer in the meantime is going through his own emotional turmoil while on the other side Pierce acts so weird.

[casimania]

I like the idea of Lucifer and Pierce being very old with selective knowledge about the past. Lucifer come up on Earth for like weeks at a time and just found the closest fun times to be had. Pierce just, alternated doing normal shit and trying to kill himself and only knew what happened right around him. He was able to expand his scope a little with the rise of technology but for the most part he just discovered ages later some volcano erupted and wiped out a city or a nation was wiped out cause he was on the other side of the world being a shoemaker or putting his head inside an alligator’s mouth.

They know more than the average person, Pierce had time to learn new information and Lucifer saw a lot of hell loops for eons and can probably learn stuff in a pinch but they also know some things with the certainty of someone who lived them and other stuff it’s just idk I read that in a book, saw someone’s warped perspective in a hell loop or some guy I told me about experiencing it.

Also Lucifer effortlessly speaking any language and expecting Pierce to also have an endless repertoire and he’s like “I am human, I have a normal human brain there’s only so much I can learn”. He can speak a lot of languages but he’s not fluent in all of them and he’s mostly about the modern ones he can use or ancient ones he needs to read books about rituals and stuff he can try. Lucifer switched at the drop of a hat in another language mod conversation and Pierce just blankly stares ahead for a while cause he sort of understood that and his brain is scrambling to figure out what language is that, how to form a sentence in it, what even was the cadence and pronunciation and oh wait did I understand or did it sound like another thing in another language?? Especially because I see Lucifer choosing something Pierce would not have many changes to use. And he remembers Pierce might be Cain but Cain is still a human.

[casimania]

Another Lucifer season 5b spoiler below (I guess?)

I literally screamed when I saw John Glover! It was nice he got to play the nice dad here and it was funny seeing him after Tom Welling lol

[casimania]

Lucifer season 5b spoilers ahead

Guys I was literally bawling my eyes out at Dan. Like Cain was my garbage man Dan has always been my darling fave unironically, like fuck he’s dead and he’s in Hell and Hell sucks because without outside influence you just relive your guilt inducing moments in a loop without remembering any of it so there’s no way out. I hope they do something about it in season 6 because this just fucked me up. I knew it was going to happen because everyone was speculating about it but just.... I’m going to go cry in a corner about Dan :(

[casimania]

Me: *Flips a coin to see if I should use Cain, Marcus or Pierce in a post about him*

Also me, immediately after: *Proceeds to use all three of them in the same sentence*

[casimania]

I'm a horrible person because when I think about Pierce/Ella it's like cute stuff or full on angst... but something my brain just conjures that meme with the hamster eating a banana...

[casimania]

Lucifer AU inspired by Control: Chloe is Jesse and Lucifer is Polaris, except Lucifer and Chloe with time learn to converse and Chloe starts to actually see Lucifer as some sort of apparition. He also still gives her cool powers. Maybe Dylan is Trixie?

I want to say Dan at first thinks she’s gone gone and thinks Chloe’s weirdness with Lucifer is her also grieving but then she keeps looking for her and sort of repels bullets or grows wings or something and he’s like “The fuck” but still minds unsure about the whole daughter kidnapping, but his ex wife is possessed, why not believe there too. Once they’re inside The Oldest House she becomes the Director and he gets hired but as some regular grunt with a gun, while Chloe goes around flying and punching weird apparitions around. Ella is definitely Emily, the Hiss is sort of Michael? He’s been chasing Lucifer for a while. Charlotte is Langston maybe, I want her in charge of something. Linda is still Linda, I guess she’d have a lot of work at the Bureau with all the shit going down. Not sure about Amenadiel, can’t see how to make him related to Lucifer here. Maze too, as a human maybe she’d be something like Arish? It’s hard seeing her as restively normal, but more knowledgeable about paranormal stuff than Chloe and part of security can fit.

[casimania]

I’m saving bits of the Lucifer undercover episode for gif purposes and Lucifer keeps cracking me up. He’s putting all of himself into this and Pierce is just “what the fuck”. It’s just a case for him but Lucifer as always is all about projecting and putting all of himself into it. Pierce is like “This is only about a case -_-” and Lucifer is like “This is totally about you and I and the pact :D”. It’s funny seeing someone else other than Chloe (and occasionally Dan) go through his shenanigans at work. Her >:3 face when she sends them back in is priceless, finally Lucifer gets all extra on someone else.

I’m the garage scene and the the dialogue is too much:

Lucifer: Do you know, I thought this was supposed to be about you and I spending time together!

Pierce: No. No, no. This is about catching a killer.

Lucifer: You just need to open up to me.

Pierce: That won’t solve ANYTHING!

[...]

Lucifer: We’ve been through this. I feel like I don’t know you!

Pierce: What are you talking about??

And the next day Pierce is literally getting dragged again in the discussion and ends up  talking about personal things with Lucifer in the middle of the case with people listening on.  Like, You Are Not Immune To Lucifer’s Shenanigans. ( It’s kinda like seeing someone got at it with a circular saw on a slab of stone until it’s cut down into little pieces).

[casimania]

This picture both has me go "Oh no he's cute" and also makes me want to break his face against something because I find him so pretty it hurts here but also when Pierce makes this face it's like... Sir, your vibes are absolutely disgusting.

[casimania]

Criminal records aside, Marcus Pierce is absolutely batshit not only because instead of knocking he fucking slapped the frame of Ella's office door, but in the undercover episode he was going to serve dinner to perfect stranger of plastic plates.... cause it was for a case anyway... Does he eat pasta directly out of the pot at home since it's just him anyway? Drinks milk and orange juice straight out of the carton?

How many more untold evils did he commit?

[casimania]

When the edibles kick in

[casimania]

Lucifer AU where Abel doesn't die and Cain steps down as Lieutenant to keep an eye on him and disappears from sesaon 3 from that point.

Then there's just a spin-off of Cain trying to keep Abel alive and help him just in day to day life (cause as much as demons modernized his loop he doesn't actually have any experience on how to actually live in the 21st century) so they can find a way to end the curse. All without actually interacting too much with him cause Abel still hasn't shaken off the "my hell loop was just you killing me over and over again in different ways), also cause they still don't get along too much.

So Cain and Abel mostly talking via phone calls/texts, Cain using his less scummy Sinnerman contacts to keep a closer eye on Abel. Like he literally plops down someone who owes him a favour in an apartment as a roommate before releasing Abel into the wild so he actually learns how it is to live on his own. Cue frantic call in the middle of the night because Abel follows the women he meets going up and down the stairs and keeps propositioning them and talking about all of his sheep and how cool and awesome they were compared to Cain's stupid field which suck and Cain's like "My field weren't stupid and they didn't suck!!" and asks to have Abel on the phone and they start yelling at each other. The person he sent to live with Abel asks themselves what the fuck did they actually get into. Abel also randomly calls Cain at any hour to ask about stuff like "I forgot how the remote works" and Cain asks him why didn't he wake up the person he specifically sent to help him with that shit, Abel replies "But they're sleeping, I didn't want to disturb them!" so Cain goes "And you didn't mind disturbing me?" and Abel shrugs "No, you deserve this and worse". Cain's seething but it's not like he can do anything about it.

And then there's Abel dealing with being in an unfamiliar body completely different from his own, like at first it was all fun and them and then "Wait, this is me now" *existential crisis* but also slowly letting go of the "If I have too much fun a demon wearing Cain's face is going to break down the door and kill me" thing. And just, being alive for real and doing stuff and it's both fun and overwhelming.

Cain goes through 8 mood swings a day cause first he's the closest he can come to happy cause he's got some hope for the first time ever, then he's biting his fingers over the dumb stuff Abel does that almost get him into trouble, then he's depressed cause this is probably not going to work, then he's angry and fighting with Abel over stupid shit, then he's depressed again this time cause even if it could work maybe Abel dies first because he's a dumbass and accidents happen or it takes so long he dies of old age. He went so long feeling only apathy and then in close succession he got Lucifer's antics ans now all of this and he's like "I want to go back at having no emotions please..."

Sometimes Cain or Abel wonder about Lucifer in a competent random moment and there's a cut to Lucifer and he's in full Devil form lugging demons around and Chloe is ducking Maze jumping at one and shooting more of them and everyone's yelling. Then there's a cut back to Cain teaching Abel how to turn on the washing machine while the roomie talks about different kinds of detergents. Or Lucifer is snuggling with Chloe and winders what are those two shitheaded siblings on about and it cuts to Cain and Abel fighting over something that happened before Abel died at full volume and it's something completely stupid like that time Abel made fun of how badly Cain sang and said he did it much better and Cain punched him in the face and broke his nose. And on both ends of the line there are people staring at them like "what the fuck".

At some point Abel must get accidentally involved in something pretty big and gets kidnapped and Cain has to mobilitate himself and what remains of his Sinnerman contacts (his protégé made a mess while he was focused on infiltrating LA) to save his ass. Like how is it so hard to keep him alive??

Then Eve appears in Lucifer (instead of Charlotte she spoke with Father Frank but it took her a while to find him and then find a way to leave Heaven) and when she leave in Lucifer it's because she decided to visit Cain and Abel. If she gotta figure herself out she wants to talk to her sons first. She also doesn't want to be too close to Cain either and doesn't know half a thing about living completely on her own and Cain has to suddenly deal with keeping an eye on his mother too and instead of phone calls he gets postcards from her ("Snowboarding is fun, please be good and don't kill your brother :-)") . Except she's got Lucifer's money, wants to see the world and she's a lot more clever than Abel so keeping tabs on her is different.