#MASSTODONS

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BULLS LOCK HORNS featuring 4 uniformed and giant S.W.A.T. brute lunks. Video reward now live on my site for members this week along with a second bonus video too hot for Tumblr! Gain access to these videos and more in the source link.

A curious passerby is drawn to the leather and cigar smell of SGT. CARROLL's huge gloved hand. CARROLL blesses his face with the aroma as the passerby grabs his hand to take it all in. He takes his utility vest off and drops it heavily to the pavement so he can hit a massive front double bicep flex for his new fan. The fan grabs onto the giants arm to go on a ride, legs dangling below. CARROLL picks him up and shoves his tongue in his throat. The fan loves it and runs his hands past CARROLL's thick neck rolls on the back of his head.

SGT. BRZEZINSKI commandingly surveys the street he is to secure before a big raid on an outlaw biker stash house. The camera rotates showcasing his immense bulk and meatbutt just before he takes a perimeter walk through the street. Bullneck lovers will appreciate his appearance.

BIG RED flexes his big biceps while waiting for his super-chili-cheese-dog-deluxe-bacon-extra-cheese-melt melt. BIG RED tries his best to keep a straight face at the officer briefing him on a situation he wants help with, where a bunch of normie cops got their lunch stolen by a group of giant bikers. To keep from laughing and to shut the officer up, he picks him up and plants some wet kisses on him assuring him he'll take care of the situation for his cuteness.

SGT. CORTEZ loves flexing the beef after a successful S.W.A.T. raid. He knocks the perp to his knees, and grabs the back of his head to show him what will happen if he tries anything. It turns out they got the wrong guy, an innocent man used as a decoy. CORTEZ noticing the normie still shaken by the whole ordeal, gives him a big kiss and picks him up and cradles him in his massive arms to take him away from the commotion.

Hearing about this mistake, SGT. CARROLL heads over and starts to tease CORTEZ's belly and rubbing it. This pisses CORTEZ off and they start swinging hamfists at each other trying to overpower the other. Their immense size is immoveable as their strength is matched from pushing each other in the gym. They give in to the long time undercurrent of sexual tension in their once platonic friendship and start kissing. Now something more?

[fahrni]

Saturday Morning Coffee

Good morning from Charlottesville, Virginia! ☕️

A polar vortex is heading our way this weekend. It’s been chilly this morning but it’s not bad. We’ve had lower temperatures over the last few week.

The forecast calls for snow tomorrow and single digit temperatures — Fahrenheit — next week. Guess we’ll see how accurate they are in a few days.🥶

We still have the tiniest bit of snow on the ground and expect a few inches tomorrow.❄️

On to the links!

Brian Tallerico • Roger Ebert

Lynch was one of those creative voices who found his own octave, doing for film what people like David Bowie or Prince did for music, shattering expectations of what a piece of art could be.

Dune, Twin Peaks, and Blue Velvet are the productions I remember the most. I know Dune is not universally liked but I’ve always liked it and Twin Peaks was spooky and creepy. I barely remember seeing Blue Velvet but now I need to watch it again.

RIP 🪦

Steve Seigh • JoBlo

The Milwaukee Brewers legend, Baseball Hall of Famer, iconic announcer, and beloved actor Bob Uecker passes away at 90.

I remember Bob Uecker being funny, especially in the movie Major League and his Miller Light commercials with his famous “Must be in the front row.”

RIP 🪦

Dan Sinker via Bluesky

Honestly the story I want someone to break wide open is the drug epidemic among the tech elite

I’ve tried to get my doctor(s) to prescribe me testosterone or HGH, they wouldn’t do it. But, if you’re rich you can get folks to help you find someone willing to get things for you.

Ivan Mehta

Decentralized social network organization Mastodon said Monday that it is planning to create a new non-profit organization in Europe and hand over ownership of entities responsible for key Mastodon ecosystem and platform components. This means one person won’t have control over the entire project.

This is really great news for Mastodon and the Fediverse. With all the hubbub surrounding governance of WordPress it’s nice to see this happening with Masstodon. I hope it works as expected.

Umar Shakir • The Verge

Pixelfed, a decentralized and ad-free Instagram alternative, now has apps on iOS and Android, as reported by TechCrunch. The iOS app launched today, while the Android app launched on January 10th.

Folks walking away from Facebook and Instagram should absolutely consider using Pixelfed. It’s very similar to Instagram but it’s based on Fediverse protocols so it’s easy to follow folks from Mastodon if you’d like. No Pixelfed account required.

Brian Stelter • CNN

Jen Rubin exits Washington Post, joins Norm Eisen to launch new outlet countering ‘authoritarian threat’

This is a huge move. I’m a Democrat but I’ve always read and respected Jennifer Rubin. She’s been a constant critic of Donald Trump and his ilk and I’m looking forward to reading The Contrarian everyday.

Paul Sawyers • TechCrunch

Automattic CEO and WordPress co-creator Matt Mullenweg has deactivated the accounts of several WordPress.org community members, some of whom have been spearheading a push to create a new fork of the open source WordPress project.

The infighting and lawsuit being fought by WordPress and Matt Mullenweg could destroy the entire organization. I hope they’re able to keep things together and WordPress continues to be used worldwide.

I’ve had an idea for a blogging system based on WordPress for years. I blame my friend, Bill Lazar, for planting the idea in my brain. 😃

There are so many things around blogging I’d love to build. Time to do it is the thing I’m missing.

Chris Geidner • Law Dork

TikTok, creators face tough day at SCOTUS, with ban set to go into effect on Jan. 19

It sounds like there may be some last minute heroics by politicians or incoming President Orange Man to push this off for the next 90-days.

Ultimately finding a way to keep CCP propaganda out of American feeds would probably be the better solution, but I think that would take heavy government involvement and regulation. Perhaps an independent TikTok organization who share TikTok client code and service code but run them independently?

Emily Guerin • LAist

Newsom’s order aims to help Angelenos, but is rebuilding in the same areas a good idea?

So many folks lives have been turned upside down. Talking about rebuilding seems premature but if you’re living on the street or in your car you’re ready to get your new house built.

John Scalzi

If you want to know when I pretty much drew a line though my friendship with Neil Gaiman, it was when Neil acknowledged that he made moves on his early-20s nanny on her first day of employment.

It’s so difficult to believe Neil Gaiman is such a creep.

Alina Selyukh • NPR

Tractor maker John Deere faces a federal lawsuit that accuses the company of illegally forcing farmers to use only authorized dealers for critical repairs, boosting its multibillion-dollar profits.

When I was employed at Agrian we’d talk about this from time to time. Forcing farmers into contracts that don’t give them the power to repair their own equipment is so costly. Most farmers I know are skilled at fixing their equipment. My grandfather made his living for well over 50-years repairing Cat equipment in fields all over California. Sure, he was an independent mechanic and welder, but he sure could turn a wrench and fix anything, and his services didn’t cost an arm and a leg.

David Purdum

Saquon Barkley looked to be off to the races, headed for a last-minute touchdown that would have had no impact on the outcome of the Philadelphia Eagles' 22-10 win over the Green Bay Packers on Sunday but would’ve cashed a lot of tickets for the betting public.

How many players, coaches, and team employees are gambling on teams? How long before they start making deals with the players to throw games for big money?

I’m glad Barkley slid. Your bet means nothing to the game.

Politics

Steve Beschloss • America, America

But as much as the Democrats stripped away Hegseth’s arrogant, macho veneer to illustrate his lack of traditional qualifications—and that particularly included questioning his documented record of drunkenness, sexual abuse and hostility toward women and female combat soldiers—it was painfully clear that the unqualified Hegseth’s main purpose was to smile and nod as the Republicans waxed rhapsodic about him and to push back with aggression or sneer silently when Democrats dared to doubt Donald Trump’s insulting pick to run our military.

Hegseth is an unqualified buffoon, adulterer, and drunk. A perfect choice for the Marmalade Messiah.

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Preview of BIG DRIVESHAFT's video titled "SUCK MY DICK, BITCH!" Full video now available on my site.

Just under 7 minutes, this is my longest video to date! Packed with AAA grade DRIVESHAFT meat. The ruggedly handsome trucker after a long haul unwinds with his legs up in the breakroom of the dispatch building with his longtime favorite grease monkey. He gets a welcome deep calf massage while he tells a funny story from his trip and they share a big hearty laugh. BIG DRIVESHAFT uses that moment to get tender with his boy and whispers sweet things to him as he kisses him and lays him on his belly. The boy can't resist rubbing DRIVESHAFT's shoulder and pec. This gets DRIVESHAFT's testosterone pumping as he rubs his big powerbelly while his immense depth is on display. (depth: front-to-back thickness)

DRIVESHAFT loves camo prints and has a good sized collection of speedos that he strips down to to show off to his boy, who absolutely loves the show. Afterwards he reaches in between his… view and read more previews on my site!

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Preview of BIG DADDY DIESEL in "10-4, Good Buddy" Full video available now on my site.

DIESEL was on the road training a rubber duck (truck driver slang for "newbie") who learned his stick shift real good. When they got back to the dispatch office break room, the training continued...

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Beefy sneak peek of BUTCH ANDERSON's full video out now.

Video Highlights: BUTCH relaxes on the couch. A grease monkey brings him a pint of beer which he chugs with no hands. Afterwards, the mechanic that got him his beers gets his reward. BUTCH then strips down to his speedos showing off his thick bulk.

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Preview of LUDWIG's video. Full version (5:20) now available on my site.

The massive masstodon, LUDWIG is one of the biggest guys in the WHF (Wrestlehawgs Federation). A lot of eager jobbers line up for the chance to be in the ring with him. LUDWIG dominates his opponent with sheer mass alone, sitting on him and pressing down on him with his tree trunk arms. The blond brute punches the jobber with his bowling ball-sized fists, softening him up for what's to come. The jobber sees a slim chance to possibly do... something, but LUDWIG shuts that down quick by pounding him back down to the mat with his huge powerbelly. Once he's shattered the jobber's hopes, LUDWIG proceeds to do some pushups, his sweaty pecs smothering the jobber's face with each rep, a signature move among the WHF brutes.

LUDWIG gives the fans in the crowd a quick thumbs up, before he lifts the jobber up by his neck. He nonchalantly lifts the jobber a few more times over his head, displaying his dominance. LUDWIG's pretty sweaty from the action and spotlights on him, so he grabs the jobber to make him lick the sweat off his chest, pushing his head in hard to get his tongue in deeper in between his massive pec mounds... continued on my site with more previews.

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A sample of this week's theme, "Hanging Out With Big Truckers On Break in the Office Trailer." The masstodon BULLDOZER here loves to show you his speedos before he

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WRESTLEHAWGS II: DROP and GIVE ME 20 Wrestling match highlights features:

HOSS HOFFMAN filling the whole frame with his mass. Dropping all his belly weight on the jobber's face, HOSS starts doing push-ups on it smushing him repeatedly to the mat. The jobber tries to escape but HOSS traps him under his censored and does more push-ups, mashing the jobber's face into the mat with his censored again and again, which excites HOSS more and more until censored.

COWBOY OX plants a tender kiss on his jobber which feels ominous for the domination about to begin. OX wastes no time ripping his overalls strap off, revealing his massive chest and powerbelly built from years of powerlifting, before bellyflopping on the jobber. OX is super proud of his custom-made big brown cowboy boots and makes sure the jobber can censored softening him up for his finishing move The Lasso. OX lassoes his opponent to his censored until OX censored!

You can preview more that's not allowed on here on my site along with the full video with a Sergeant of Brutes membership. Video download reward for week of March 18-25.

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WRESTLEHAWGS: Loser Gets F* Pro-Wrestling match highlights features:

ABSOLUTE UNIT (recruit #192) flexing his massive bulk before one-arm overhead pressing a jobber into submission and then censored. Another jobber drawn to UNIT's huge legs gives himself to censored.

BULL VICIOUS (recruit #196) loves how thick he is and dominates the opponent in a chokehold slam before censored cigar smoke and leather.

CRUSHER WILSON (recruit #195) crushes his jobber multiple times with his massive body, elbow and legs securing the easy win!

WRESTLEHAWGS: Loser Gets F* exclusively on the Real Thick P8re0n.

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Masstodon giant, BIG DICK DOMINIC strokes his huge cock imagining you riding on it and exploding huge geysers and ropes of cum inside of you. Video now available on my site.

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SGT. HOWELL doesn't care that his wide body is blocking access to half the lockers - after a long shift, this is his first chance to relax. Restoring order in a city overrun by brawny, drunken bikers is tiring work, and he's more than ready to kick off his boots and take a long, hot shower.

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This used to be SGT. NILES's truck, until he grew too big to fit inside a couple of years earlier. He drives a new, oversized truck now, but he misses his baby. They had some good times together.

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One of the enforcers from The Union biker gang, BRUISER, has offered his services to the construction crew at The Real Thick Center for the Brute Arts. He wants to use his brutish strength to help build the expansion of a bulking zone. Recruit 137. View the whole collection of brutes for $5 in high resolution on my Patreon.

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NSFW VIDEO on my site. His massiveness looks like it'll hurt for the first timer in the break room. But don't worry, just look into DOMINIC's eyes as he...

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Our 200th recruit! Showing off the new rancher's work gear, BUBBA LEVI is proud of the perfect fit. And as usual, lots of big bubbas waiting for you on my P8re0n.

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A gang of new MASStodons emerge from the growing grounds of The Real Thick Center for the Brute Arts, like ABSOLUTE UNIT here. Get a load of these giants and the brave jobbers going up against them this week on the Real Thick Patreon. Join the fun! Sponsored by Massimo's Pizza location at The Bulking Zone feeding court.