#Medic 16 I have further...

[para-medic-16]

You never realize how out of their depth a doctor is in the field until you're partnered with one on the truck.

When I said you're leading, I meant you're leading and I'm following. I'll only stop you if you're being stupid.

Occum's razor, doctor. Occum's razor.

[para-medic-16]

It's a small world, after all. Sometimes the idiot that caused you to run one patient becomes your patient the very next call.

CW: Mentions of blood, stabbings, and Opioid overdose

4B02a - PD requesting 10-39 traffic

It's about 3am, right when the crazies are winding down and decide they don't quite feel right anymore and no it can't wait until the morning. Tones go out and we're dispatched to a call of an individual that was assaulted at the bridge near Alton Dr. It's coded a bravo but PD on scene is requesting emergency traffic for serious hemorrhage.

We arrive on scene to find a tall male with horns and goat legs looking like he's straight up not having a good time.

Patient states: "Some fucking crackhead came onto my fucking bridge and stabbed me then took off! What do you think happened?"

PD, who got on scene a little before us, said they'd get a description of the suspect when were done with our assessment. They said the patient was refusing transport before we got here, but was convinced to let us check him out.

We do our assessment and, sure enough, found three (3) approximately 1.5in (almost 4cm) penetrating lacerations to his left flank and two to his lower right stomach. There appeared to be what looked like ink or old motor oil spilled out on the ground around the patient. As it matched the "blood" still pouring out from the wounds I can only assume this was, in fact, not a bunch of paint of something to the like. Unfortunately, we dont care his blood type on the truck. I do my best to bandage him up while my partner gets some vitals. Partner tells me everything's checking out fine - damn near "textbook" readings - and the patient denied any meds or med history.

Yes, his vitals look fine and he's responding appropriately, but he's still bleeding and we still need to get him to the hospital before he bleeds out. To be honest, I'm surprised he hasn't done that already. Still, the patient refused, stating that he'll be fine in an hour or two. I explain to him every which way I could that he might not be and he might be dead in an hour or two. He said he understood - some part of me doubted it, but if I'm right, we'll be back out here later - and signed the refusal. Last thing he said while he was giving the police a thoroughly detailed description of the suspect was his wallet was stolen.

Two things struck me about that comment.

One: The wallet he described was an old leather bifold with a blush pink daisy on the front of it. His reasoning for why a guy like him would have a "effeminate" accessory was his alleged daughter made it for him. He wants it back if they find the crackhead or he'll never hear the end of it.

Two: We found out rather quickly that he wasn't wearing any clothes. And those legs weren't a convincing costume. The amount of GSW on "Bigfoot" I've run, you can never be too sure one way or another. Regardless, he doesn't have any pockets and didn't claim to be carrying a bag, just the bifold wallet. I am both curious as to where he kept it and hesitant to know the answer.

I didn't have a chance to start the ticket, much less figure out my Can You Articulate as to why I left a serious trauma patient where I found him. For why?

"Medic 16, I have further..."

23D01

Like I said, 3am is when shit pops off in this county. Right after we cleared the assault, this one drops. Apparently this call came out just about a block away regarding a male subject that the caller thinks may be overdosing on something. We get there and sure enough there's a man unresponsive with pupils thin as pins on the front lawn, not breathing. He had a pulse so we push 1mg of narcan up his nose and start bagging till he can breathe on his own. You see a lot of things in the field but theres few things quiet as startling as the jack-in-the-box effect narcan has on an Opioid OD. Either way, was a routine heroin overdose, you run one you've run them all. Granted their fix ain't laced with something.

The only point of note about this man here was the leather bifold with a blush pink daisy on the front. I'm no detective, but I have a feeling it's a small world, after all.

[para-medic-16]

Things I wish I could say: #1

For the patients, admins and more

"Babe, you called me here. Why are you getting snippy with me?"

To a grown ass man that squealed when the IV went in after being a hard ass with me, "I thought you said you weren't a bitch?"

"You, sir, are my 13th reason."

"I do not care."

"You're not worth the jail time."

"Have you considered just not?"

"You don't need a hospital. Call your fucking primary."

"Bitch, you're fine."

"I'm not saying you're attention and-or drug seeking, but I am saying you walked to out stretcher like it's nothing."

"You do understand what death is, yes?"

"You do understand that you are fully capable of dying, right?"

"Sir, you're neither a dilf nor a silver fox, please stop trying to act like one."

"I'm going to intentionally hit every bump on the way to the hospital, just to see if you're bullshitting."

"You can't kill me in a way that matters."

"I'm going to jump off a fucking bridge."

"You're an urgent care. Care urgently!"

"You're a primary care doctor. Care primarily, doctor!"

"I went to community school for two years. You went to university for many times that. How do I know this better than you?"

"You're not just wrong, you're stupid."

"No one gives a shit, [insert admin]."

"You haven't ran in the field longer than I've been alive, why do you think you know better than me?"

"Get off your porcelain throne and come run a few calls, [admin]."

"Oh, you can see they can't stand? Well, shit, here's my badge, my shirt, the stretcher and the truck. Since you're obviously more knowledgeable."

"Mom/Dad. They're fine. You could've driven them yourself. I promise."

"Damn, all those cars in the driveway and ain't none of you know how to drive?"

"You do understand that coming in on a stretcher doesn't guarantee a bed, right?"

"I will drive this ambulance off a fucking cliff."

"No, it is in fact neither like the movies, no the shows."

"No. Not just no, but fuck no."

[para-medic-16]

I will never forget how the nurses at the Behavioral Health Urgent Care gave Ativan - a sedative - to a catatonic patient because they were "scheduled to take it."

This... This actually happened btw.

[para-medic-16]

Let's start with an easy one:

13:00 on a Friday. 26A01 - Sick Person, Non Emergency Response, No Priority Symptoms - on a 21yo Male.

Splinter.

This grown ass man called 911 because he had a splinter in his finger. We don't have tweezers on the trucks (God knows why). Asked this whole fucking adult man "Do you want to go to the hospital. For a splinter."

He said yes.

"Well, sir, where would you like to go?"

He said he'd like to go to the major hospital at the top of the county. You know, the level 1 trauma center?

For a splinter.

In his finger.

21 years old. In college. No cognitive disorders.

A tiny splinter.

[para-medic-16]

Sir, respectfully, how am I supposed to stay whimsical under these conditions?

[para-medic-16]

Warning! There's a batch of meth going around that is causing dick pain!

Contact your local police department and have you meth tested ASAP!

[para-medic-16]

New liver, same eagles