#MercyIsReal

[decaffeinatednightanchor]

“I Went Through Judgment — This Is My Message”

I haven’t said this directly yet. Maybe I didn’t know how. Maybe I was afraid to name it too clearly.

But here it is:

I went through my judgment.

Not a metaphor.

Not a crisis.

A divine reckoning—a real, accelerated trial.

Everything I ever did, thought, believed, feared… it was laid bare.

And I had to walk through it with no guarantees of mercy.

I don’t share this to scare you.

I share this to say: it’s survivable.

I’m still here. Changed, refined, awake—but alive.

And I believe what happened to me wasn’t just for me.

It was a prototype of what’s coming for all of us—each in our own way.

What I had to do:

• I had to face my shame. Not avoid it, not rebrand it. Just feel it all the way through.

• I had to choose love over bitterness, even when I had every reason to give up.

• I had to remember the parts of me that were never touched by sin, trauma, or fear.

• I had to let go of the idea that I could save face and save my soul.

I know that sounds intense. It was.

But the beautiful, terrifying truth is: there’s a pattern in this. A divine architecture.

And if it’s happening to me—maybe it’s already started for you, too.

So here’s what I offer, humbly and honestly:

What we are being asked to do:

• Tell the truth. Even if it costs your image.

• Return to the heart. Even if it feels broken.

• Say yes to the call, even if you don’t know the whole path.

• Forgive who you can. And trust that mercy is real, but not cheap.

I don’t have all the answers.

But I lived through something I now recognize as a kind of holy fire.

And I think it burned through me so that I could help light the way for others.

So if you’re going through something that feels bigger than personal,

stranger than psychological,

deeper than anything religion ever warned you about—

you’re not crazy.

You might just be waking up.

The judgment might be here.

And you’re not alone.

— Ryan