#Mr. Monk for Mayor

[newkatzkafe2023]

Okay just saw friends, family and enemies, meeting Queen Kong, now they HAVE to meet female Godzilla and Godzilla Jr. XD

(emojis don't work for this platform.)

I CHALLENGE ANYONE WHO READS THIS POST, TO TAG AND REBLOG AS MANY OF YOUR FRIENDS AS YOU CAN!!!!!!!

#Scary wife Privileges😈

(Lmk Wukong) Ohhhhhhhhhh man everyone in megaspolis can see you the Legendary godzilla. Your husband begged for months for you and godji jr to meet his friends and we finally agreed. After all godzilla jr kids Needs friends his age, so later you got to pigsy's restaurant. And everybody was either amazed or terrified, Tang was the first to notice and well...😨

Tang: P-Pigsy I-I t-think godzilla is outside your r-restaurant😨😨😨😨

Pigsy: Very funny Tang😒😒😒

Sandy:(Upon seeing you) Oh dear....😥

Wukong: Hey, you guys I want you meet my wife Y/n or goddesszilla and my son JR!!!!🥰🥰

Then the others showed up, Mk was spazzing out in a good way as he ran around you in extreme excitement. Then Mei was over here, taking selfies with goji Jr and playing with the filers with him. And Redson called his parents about the possible danger. As he hid under a table in Pigsy's restaurant.

With their Enemies 🐂🕷🌬☠️🦁🐘🕊

the spider gang did not want any of that radiation smoke🕷🕷🕷

and neither did DBK and PIF🐂🌬

Jin and Yin were fanboying all over the place🩶🤎

The Mayor knew what was good for him and stayed back and far away along with Lady bone demon☠️💀

Nezha Wasn't sure if he should report this to heaven or not

And Lastly Azure and Peng were outraged because what else has Wukong hid from them. Meanwhile Yellowtusk Did everything in his power were not to piss us off.

As for Macaque he's muttering his Prayers as he literally digs his own grave😈🤣😰

(MR Wukong) Terror Pure unadulterated Terror, your husband finally decided to tell his master about you and Jr, Any well it really could have gone better. The ground shook the camp as they see Wukong and Fruity come back with a big body and soon an even bigger body. The pilgrims were pale as snow when they saw you and Jr.

Wukong: I wanted to tell you, that I'm married now and this is my wife Y/n and my other son godzilla Jr🤗

We stared down at the pilgrims, as the monk wasted no time passing out because the monkey king is Married to GODDESSZILLA!!! pigsy pissed himself and sandy actively ran away screaming. Meanwhile fruity and goji Jr because the fastest best friends😊🥰

(NR Wukong) Ohhhhhhhhhh man this is gonna be lit🤩🤩🤩🤩. Everyone was so stoked to meet godzilla, and Wukong Sorta found himself bragging about you and his Jr. Li was at a serious lost about what to do with this information, but Jr was quick to win him over with his surprisingly social nature.

Li:(getting Lick by Jr) haha awww your so cute🥰😊

Godzilla Jr:(purrs)

Su and the others had many questions for you which you Took the time to patiently answer to the best of your while Wukong cuddle and purred into you.

Meanwhile

Ao bing: Dad is that goddesszilla???😯😲🫨

Ao Guang: Whatever you do do not make eye contact😨😰😱

(HIB Wukong) Luier and Silly girl already loved you when you made their father happy. They also became fast friends and Siblings with Godzilla Jr. Goji Jr was quick to become very protective over his younger smaller brother and Sister. But overall the 3 were loving play mates, and Silly girl had started calling you mama at the end of the visit as Luier would sit by you asking questions. Which put another painful blush on his face as he watched the whole interaction. You also Might be wondering why pigsy didn't bother to flirt with you......????

Because both of you can definitely kill him😬

(Netflix Wukong) the dragon king Screamed like a little girl when he saw you at Lin's house. While Lin herself, she could even begin to comprehend what's going on here. Wukong had bought you and Goji Jr to meet his friends and so far Goji Jr loved Lin as he went and licked her face. Making Lin laugh at the tickles, meanwhile dragon king was down for the count as you stared down at him with a glare. Dragon king remained on his best behavior while you were there Because his life literally depended on it.

FEEL FREE TO REBLOG

[quitealotofsodapop]

How does MK feel about his grandparent(s) in the tiger monk au?

In the case of MK being in the Tiger Monk Au; he thinks Baba Tang's parents are kinda odd but cool!

Granddad Jiangliu is a really old-fashioned religious type, and lives somewhere really pretty with Baba's older siblings. Granddad is quick to correct MK when he's a little too loud, but stops himself from getting too upset at the little monkey's boundless energy. The skinny tiger demon is calming presence in MK's life, and helped introduce him to rarer stories involving the Monkey King and the Pilgrims. MK wonders how Granddad knows so many cool stories?!

Uncle Boguang is like Granddad in that he's religious, but he travels a lot and comes home with gifts for everyone from whatever city/temple he's been staying at. He has this giant fluffy mane that he keeps trying to keep short, and MK wonders if he'll get whiskers as luscious as him some day!

Auntie Wenhou is involved in a lot of city-political stuff, so she has to plan family visits in advance. She teasingly treats her youngest brother as if he's still a cub, which frustrates Baba terribly. She always seems to know what to say to make people feel better, including her favourite nephew ("But auntie, I'm your only nephew!").

Gonggong Lion is the hardest to get a hold of since he's the mayor of a big city or something (Auntie Wenhou helps him a lot), but he's always overjoyed to see his cubs and littlest monkey. He has a deep laugh and wears his heart on his sleeve, always showering Granddad Jiangliu with affection and praise as the tiger-monk blushes terribly. Gonggong used to be part of a group of warriors a long time ago with Uncle Wu and Mihou, and he's retired from fighting since meeting Granddad. MK met the other warriors once when Baba and Dadsy took him on a city trip to Lion Camel Ridge - Mr Yellow Tusk is really nice, but Peng can be a bit mean.

Uncle Wu lives on an island not too far from Megapolis, so he visits the store a lot. MK isn't sure why him and Wu are the only monkeys on Baba's side of the family, but he doesn't want to pry. Uncle Wu is loud and excitable like MK is, but is really nerdy like Baba is. Wu in particular likes medicines and making people feel better. He gets along the best with Dadsy.

Uncle Mihou is Uncle Wu's mate and he works in the city as an theatre director. He tells all sorts of stories, not only about the Monkey King and his companions, but of Baba when he was little! Mihou has really cool powers and wants to teach MK some day, but Uncle Wu is clearly a hesitant to promise.

The family has some sort of "argument" that happened a long time ago, so tensions are high between Uncle Wu and Gonggong Lion and his friends. Apparently a dear family friend (maybe even another uncle?) had to go to jail and it messed the family up badly. MK really hopes he can help make things better somehow...

And yes MK has zero clue that he's related to all of cast of Journey to the West XD

[lesmisletters-daily]

How Jean May Become Champ

Les Mis Letters reading club explores one chapter of Les Misérables every day. Join us on Discord, Substack - or share your thoughts right here on tumblr - today's tag is #lm 1.6.2

One morning M. Madeleine was in his study, occupied in arranging in advance some pressing matters connected with the mayor’s office, in case he should decide to take the trip to Montfermeil, when he was informed that Police Inspector Javert was desirous of speaking with him. Madeleine could not refrain from a disagreeable impression on hearing this name. Javert had avoided him more than ever since the affair of the police-station, and M. Madeleine had not seen him.

“Admit him,” he said.

Javert entered.

M. Madeleine had retained his seat near the fire, pen in hand, his eyes fixed on the docket which he was turning over and annotating, and which contained the trials of the commission on highways for the infraction of police regulations. He did not disturb himself on Javert’s account. He could not help thinking of poor Fantine, and it suited him to be glacial in his manner.

Javert bestowed a respectful salute on the mayor, whose back was turned to him. The mayor did not look at him, but went on annotating this docket.

Javert advanced two or three paces into the study, and halted, without breaking the silence.

If any physiognomist who had been familiar with Javert, and who had made a lengthy study of this savage in the service of civilization, this singular composite of the Roman, the Spartan, the monk, and the corporal, this spy who was incapable of a lie, this unspotted police agent—if any physiognomist had known his secret and long-cherished aversion for M. Madeleine, his conflict with the mayor on the subject of Fantine, and had examined Javert at that moment, he would have said to himself, “What has taken place?” It was evident to any one acquainted with that clear, upright, sincere, honest, austere, and ferocious conscience, that Javert had but just gone through some great interior struggle. Javert had nothing in his soul which he had not also in his countenance. Like violent people in general, he was subject to abrupt changes of opinion. His physiognomy had never been more peculiar and startling. On entering he bowed to M. Madeleine with a look in which there was neither rancor, anger, nor distrust; he halted a few paces in the rear of the mayor’s armchair, and there he stood, perfectly erect, in an attitude almost of discipline, with the cold, ingenuous roughness of a man who has never been gentle and who has always been patient; he waited without uttering a word, without making a movement, in genuine humility and tranquil resignation, calm, serious, hat in hand, with eyes cast down, and an expression which was half-way between that of a soldier in the presence of his officer and a criminal in the presence of his judge, until it should please the mayor to turn round. All the sentiments as well as all the memories which one might have attributed to him had disappeared. That face, as impenetrable and simple as granite, no longer bore any trace of anything but a melancholy depression. His whole person breathed lowliness and firmness and an indescribable courageous despondency.

At last the mayor laid down his pen and turned half round.

“Well! What is it? What is the matter, Javert?”

Javert remained silent for an instant as though collecting his ideas, then raised his voice with a sort of sad solemnity, which did not, however, preclude simplicity.

“This is the matter, Mr. Mayor; a culpable act has been committed.”

“What act?”

“An inferior agent of the authorities has failed in respect, and in the gravest manner, towards a magistrate. I have come to bring the fact to your knowledge, as it is my duty to do.”

“Who is the agent?” asked M. Madeleine.

“I,” said Javert.

“You?”

“I.”

“And who is the magistrate who has reason to complain of the agent?”

“You, Mr. Mayor.”

M. Madeleine sat erect in his armchair. Javert went on, with a severe air and his eyes still cast down.

“Mr. Mayor, I have come to request you to instigate the authorities to dismiss me.”

M. Madeleine opened his mouth in amazement. Javert interrupted him:—

“You will say that I might have handed in my resignation, but that does not suffice. Handing in one’s resignation is honorable. I have failed in my duty; I ought to be punished; I must be turned out.”

And after a pause he added:—

“Mr. Mayor, you were severe with me the other day, and unjustly. Be so to-day, with justice.”

“Come, now! Why?” exclaimed M. Madeleine. “What nonsense is this? What is the meaning of this? What culpable act have you been guilty of towards me? What have you done to me? What are your wrongs with regard to me? You accuse yourself; you wish to be superseded—”

“Turned out,” said Javert.

“Turned out; so it be, then. That is well. I do not understand.”

“You shall understand, Mr. Mayor.”

Javert sighed from the very bottom of his chest, and resumed, still coldly and sadly:—

“Mr. Mayor, six weeks ago, in consequence of the scene over that woman, I was furious, and I informed against you.”

“Informed against me!”

“At the Prefecture of Police in Paris.”

M. Madeleine, who was not in the habit of laughing much oftener than Javert himself, burst out laughing now:—

“As a mayor who had encroached on the province of the police?”

“As an ex-convict.”

The mayor turned livid.

Javert, who had not raised his eyes, went on:—

“I thought it was so. I had had an idea for a long time; a resemblance; inquiries which you had caused to be made at Faverolles; the strength of your loins; the adventure with old Fauchelevant; your skill in marksmanship; your leg, which you drag a little;—I hardly know what all,—absurdities! But, at all events, I took you for a certain Jean Valjean.”

“A certain—What did you say the name was?”

“Jean Valjean. He was a convict whom I was in the habit of seeing twenty years ago, when I was adjutant-guard of convicts at Toulon. On leaving the galleys, this Jean Valjean, as it appears, robbed a bishop; then he committed another theft, accompanied with violence, on a public highway on the person of a little Savoyard. He disappeared eight years ago, no one knows how, and he has been sought, I fancied. In short, I did this thing! Wrath impelled me; I denounced you at the Prefecture!”

M. Madeleine, who had taken up the docket again several moments before this, resumed with an air of perfect indifference:—

“And what reply did you receive?”

“That I was mad.”

“Well?”

“Well, they were right.”

“It is lucky that you recognize the fact.”

“I am forced to do so, since the real Jean Valjean has been found.”

The sheet of paper which M. Madeleine was holding dropped from his hand; he raised his head, gazed fixedly at Javert, and said with his indescribable accent:—

“Ah!”

Javert continued:—

“This is the way it is, Mr. Mayor. It seems that there was in the neighborhood near Ailly-le-Haut-Clocher an old fellow who was called Father Champmathieu. He was a very wretched creature. No one paid any attention to him. No one knows what such people subsist on. Lately, last autumn, Father Champmathieu was arrested for the theft of some cider apples from—Well, no matter, a theft had been committed, a wall scaled, branches of trees broken. My Champmathieu was arrested. He still had the branch of apple-tree in his hand. The scamp is locked up. Up to this point it was merely an affair of a misdemeanor. But here is where Providence intervened.

“The jail being in a bad condition, the examining magistrate finds it convenient to transfer Champmathieu to Arras, where the departmental prison is situated. In this prison at Arras there is an ex-convict named Brevet, who is detained for I know not what, and who has been appointed turnkey of the house, because of good behavior. Mr. Mayor, no sooner had Champmathieu arrived than Brevet exclaims: ‘Eh! Why, I know that man! He is a <i>fagot!</i> Take a good look at me, my good man! You are Jean Valjean!’ ‘Jean Valjean! who’s Jean Valjean?’ Champmathieu feigns astonishment. ‘Don’t play the innocent dodge,’ says Brevet. ‘You are Jean Valjean! You have been in the galleys of Toulon; it was twenty years ago; we were there together.’ Champmathieu denies it. Parbleu! You understand. The case is investigated. The thing was well ventilated for me. This is what they discovered: This Champmathieu had been, thirty years ago, a pruner of trees in various localities, notably at Faverolles. There all trace of him was lost. A long time afterwards he was seen again in Auvergne; then in Paris, where he is said to have been a wheelwright, and to have had a daughter, who was a laundress; but that has not been proved. Now, before going to the galleys for theft, what was Jean Valjean? A pruner of trees. Where? At Faverolles. Another fact. This Valjean’s Christian name was Jean, and his mother’s surname was Mathieu. What more natural to suppose than that, on emerging from the galleys, he should have taken his mother’s name for the purpose of concealing himself, and have called himself Jean Mathieu? He goes to Auvergne. The local pronunciation turns <i>Jean</i> into <i>Chan</i>—he is called Chan Mathieu. Our man offers no opposition, and behold him transformed into Champmathieu. You follow me, do you not? Inquiries were made at Faverolles. The family of Jean Valjean is no longer there. It is not known where they have gone. You know that among those classes a family often disappears. Search was made, and nothing was found. When such people are not mud, they are dust. And then, as the beginning of the story dates thirty years back, there is no longer any one at Faverolles who knew Jean Valjean. Inquiries were made at Toulon. Besides Brevet, there are only two convicts in existence who have seen Jean Valjean; they are Cochepaille and Chenildieu, and are sentenced for life. They are taken from the galleys and confronted with the pretended Champmathieu. They do not hesitate; he is Jean Valjean for them as well as for Brevet. The same age,—he is fifty-four,—the same height, the same air, the same man; in short, it is he. It was precisely at this moment that I forwarded my denunciation to the Prefecture in Paris. I was told that I had lost my reason, and that Jean Valjean is at Arras, in the power of the authorities. You can imagine whether this surprised me, when I thought that I had that same Jean Valjean here. I write to the examining judge; he sends for me; Champmathieu is conducted to me—”

“Well?” interposed M. Madeleine.

Javert replied, his face incorruptible, and as melancholy as ever:—

“Mr. Mayor, the truth is the truth. I am sorry; but that man is Jean Valjean. I recognized him also.”

M. Madeleine resumed in, a very low voice:—

“You are sure?”

Javert began to laugh, with that mournful laugh which comes from profound conviction.

“O! Sure!”

He stood there thoughtfully for a moment, mechanically taking pinches of powdered wood for blotting ink from the wooden bowl which stood on the table, and he added:—

“And even now that I have seen the real Jean Valjean, I do not see how I could have thought otherwise. I beg your pardon, Mr. Mayor.”

Javert, as he addressed these grave and supplicating words to the man, who six weeks before had humiliated him in the presence of the whole station-house, and bade him “leave the room,”—Javert, that haughty man, was unconsciously full of simplicity and dignity,—M. Madeleine made no other reply to his prayer than the abrupt question:—

“And what does this man say?”

“Ah! Indeed, Mr. Mayor, it’s a bad business. If he is Jean Valjean, he has his previous conviction against him. To climb a wall, to break a branch, to purloin apples, is a mischievous trick in a child; for a man it is a misdemeanor; for a convict it is a crime. Robbing and housebreaking—it is all there. It is no longer a question of correctional police; it is a matter for the Court of Assizes. It is no longer a matter of a few days in prison; it is the galleys for life. And then, there is the affair with the little Savoyard, who will return, I hope. The deuce! there is plenty to dispute in the matter, is there not? Yes, for any one but Jean Valjean. But Jean Valjean is a sly dog. That is the way I recognized him. Any other man would have felt that things were getting hot for him; he would struggle, he would cry out—the kettle sings before the fire; he would not be Jean Valjean, <i>et cetera</i>. But he has not the appearance of understanding; he says, ‘I am Champmathieu, and I won’t depart from that!’ He has an astonished air, he pretends to be stupid; it is far better. Oh! the rogue is clever! But it makes no difference. The proofs are there. He has been recognized by four persons; the old scamp will be condemned. The case has been taken to the Assizes at Arras. I shall go there to give my testimony. I have been summoned.”

M. Madeleine had turned to his desk again, and taken up his docket, and was turning over the leaves tranquilly, reading and writing by turns, like a busy man. He turned to Javert:—

“That will do, Javert. In truth, all these details interest me but little. We are wasting our time, and we have pressing business on hand. Javert, you will betake yourself at once to the house of the woman Buseaupied, who sells herbs at the corner of the Rue Saint-Saulve. You will tell her that she must enter her complaint against carter Pierre Chesnelong. The man is a brute, who came near crushing this woman and her child. He must be punished. You will then go to M. Charcellay, Rue Montre-de-Champigny. He complained that there is a gutter on the adjoining house which discharges rain-water on his premises, and is undermining the foundations of his house. After that, you will verify the infractions of police regulations which have been reported to me in the Rue Guibourg, at Widow Doris’s, and Rue du Garraud-Blanc, at Madame Renée le Bossé’s, and you will prepare documents. But I am giving you a great deal of work. Are you not to be absent? Did you not tell me that you were going to Arras on that matter in a week or ten days?”

“Sooner than that, Mr. Mayor.”

“On what day, then?”

“Why, I thought that I had said to Monsieur le Maire that the case was to be tried to-morrow, and that I am to set out by diligence to-night.”

M. Madeleine made an imperceptible movement.

“And how long will the case last?”

“One day, at the most. The judgment will be pronounced to-morrow evening at latest. But I shall not wait for the sentence, which is certain; I shall return here as soon as my deposition has been taken.”

“That is well,” said M. Madeleine.

And he dismissed Javert with a wave of the hand.

Javert did not withdraw.

“Excuse me, Mr. Mayor,” said he.

“What is it now?” demanded M. Madeleine.

“Mr. Mayor, there is still something of which I must remind you.”

“What is it?”

“That I must be dismissed.”

M. Madeleine rose.

“Javert, you are a man of honor, and I esteem you. You exaggerate your fault. Moreover, this is an offence which concerns me. Javert, you deserve promotion instead of degradation. I wish you to retain your post.”

Javert gazed at M. Madeleine with his candid eyes, in whose depths his not very enlightened but pure and rigid conscience seemed visible, and said in a tranquil voice:—

“Mr. Mayor, I cannot grant you that.”

“I repeat,” replied M. Madeleine, “that the matter concerns me.”

But Javert, heeding his own thought only, continued:—

“So far as exaggeration is concerned, I am not exaggerating. This is the way I reason: I have suspected you unjustly. That is nothing. It is our right to cherish suspicion, although suspicion directed above ourselves is an abuse. But without proofs, in a fit of rage, with the object of wreaking my vengeance, I have denounced you as a convict, you, a respectable man, a mayor, a magistrate! That is serious, very serious. I have insulted authority in your person, I, an agent of the authorities! If one of my subordinates had done what I have done, I should have declared him unworthy of the service, and have expelled him. Well? Stop, Mr. Mayor; one word more. I have often been severe in the course of my life towards others. That is just. I have done well. Now, if I were not severe towards myself, all the justice that I have done would become injustice. Ought I to spare myself more than others? No! What! I should be good for nothing but to chastise others, and not myself! Why, I should be a blackguard! Those who say, ‘That blackguard of a Javert!’ would be in the right. Mr. Mayor, I do not desire that you should treat me kindly; your kindness roused sufficient bad blood in me when it was directed to others. I want none of it for myself. The kindness which consists in upholding a woman of the town against a citizen, the police agent against the mayor, the man who is down against the man who is up in the world, is what I call false kindness. That is the sort of kindness which disorganizes society. Good God! it is very easy to be kind; the difficulty lies in being just. Come! if you had been what I thought you, I should not have been kind to you, not I! You would have seen! Mr. Mayor, I must treat myself as I would treat any other man. When I have subdued malefactors, when I have proceeded with vigor against rascals, I have often said to myself, ‘If you flinch, if I ever catch you in fault, you may rest at your ease!’ I have flinched, I have caught myself in a fault. So much the worse! Come, discharged, cashiered, expelled! That is well. I have arms. I will till the soil; it makes no difference to me. Mr. Mayor, the good of the service demands an example. I simply require the discharge of Inspector Javert.”

All this was uttered in a proud, humble, despairing, yet convinced tone, which lent indescribable grandeur to this singular, honest man.

“We shall see,” said M. Madeleine.

And he offered him his hand.

Javert recoiled, and said in a wild voice:—

“Excuse me, Mr. Mayor, but this must not be. A mayor does not offer his hand to a police spy.”

He added between his teeth:—

“A police spy, yes; from the moment when I have misused the police. I am no more than a police spy.”

Then he bowed profoundly, and directed his steps towards the door.

There he wheeled round, and with eyes still downcast:—

“Mr. Mayor,” he said, “I shall continue to serve until I am superseded.”

He withdrew. M. Madeleine remained thoughtfully listening to the firm, sure step, which died away on the pavement of the corridor.

[cliozaur]

This one IS about Javert. There is A LOT of Javert in it. Hugo doesn't hold back on metaphors and distinctive traits for him: “this savage in the service of civilization, this singular composite of the Roman, the Spartan, the monk, and the corporal, this spy who was incapable of a lie.” Each of these attributes carries a sombre undertone. And Javert is full of contradictions: despite his inherently violent nature, he stands absolutely submissive and calm, bowing to the back of M. Madeleine, and patiently waiting when “it should please the mayor to turn round.” This sharp change results in “a melancholy depression” noticeable on his face.

Hugo manages to find some positive qualities in Javert, describing him as having a “clear, upright, sincere, honest, austere, and ferocious conscience.” If only it were channelled in the right direction, toward a better cause. And Jean Valjean seems to sense this potential when he expresses: “Javert, you are a man of honor, and I esteem you,” and even provides Javert with a list of transgressions he believes Javert can address. However, the narrative remains silent about any redeeming deeds by Javert.

Javert is portrayed as man who has never been gentle and is willing to treat himself as harshly as he treats others. In a monologue about the dangers of kindness, Javert emphasizes, “I do not desire that you should treat me kindly; your kindness roused sufficient bad blood in me when it was directed to others. I want none of it for myself” and he goes on and on about it, concluding with “it is very easy to be kind; the difficulty lies in being just." However, the irony is revealed later on: the most challenging thing for Javert will be to survive kindness, and it will prove so unbearable that it will literally kill him.

I’ve never thought of Javert’s demand for Valjean to punish him this way before, but now I do find something subtly homoerotic in Javert’s words: “I have failed in my duty; I ought to be punished; I must be turned out.” And after a pause he added: “Mr. Mayor, you were severe with me the other day, and unjustly. Be so to-day, with justice.”

[frickfatphobes]

i've heard people say things like "even if fatphobia was real, I wouldn't have learned it from media"

so let's make a list of all the fat villains and a-hole characters in media to try and prove that representation (even bad representation) can heavily influence the culture it influences:

• Ursula (The Little Mermaid)

• The Mayor (Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs)

• Big Jack Horner (Puss in Boots: The Last Wish)

• The Toad (Flushed Away)

• Vernon Dursley (Harry Potter)

• Doctor Octopus (Spider-Man 2)

• Stromboli (Pinocchio)

• Queen of Hearts (Alice in Wonderland)

• Wario (Super Mario Brothers Franchise)

• The Matchmaker (Mulan)

• Jabba the Hut (Star Wars)

• Buford (Phineas and Ferb)

• Dale "The Whale" Biederbeck (Mr. Monk)

• Augustus Gloop (Willy Wonka)

[feel free to help me continue this list]

[yolowritter]

A few other lucky accidents in MLB I have noticed:

Nora is a kickboxer, wears those weird armbands, and insists to be called by her ring name. To a martial arts buff, that means she practices Muay Thai and got really serious about the culture, that includes those armbands (called pra jiad) and immense importance for the ring name (in Thailand a Nak Muay will often change their legal name to match, and will ALWAYS include their training camp in their name). It also explains why a bulldozer like her has a trickster name: the ring name is given by fans, and whoever gave it must have decided she looked like a deadly spider but didn't know Anansi is a trickster.

Marinette's grandmother is named Gina Misurati. Because in neither Italy nor France one changes their name to match their spouse (mrs. HUSBAND NAME is a courtesy title), and her bike, a Moto Guzzi V7 Sport (it's identical), has written Misurati on it (it was obviously a reference to Maserati, but they stopped making motorbikes in 1960, and none of their bikes looked like Gina's anyway).

Diplomats have horrible working hours that get worse with higher rank, and diplomat kids are often "weird" and forced to grow up too fast. By happenstance, Lila's first mother is barely home, and Lila shows surprising maturity at the oddest moments (like when she flat-out told Marinette that a boy wasn't worth fighting over and offered to help her with Adrien in exchange of friendship).

Paris didn't have their own city police until 2021. Roger is from the NATIONAL police, meaning he shouldn't answer to the mayor... But he does, so SOMETHING must have happened to cause this transfer of authority.

Felix' outfit is identical to Eton's uniform minus the ridiculous hat and overcoat. I suppose it fits his social standing.

Sabine can use her spatula as a weapon. That spatula is nearly identical to a Monk's Spade, a weapon used in Shaolinquan.

Speaking of martial arts, in Chameleon Lila uses actual MMA techniques to overpower Ladybug, and Felix' claim of using Karate points to Wado Ryu thanks to those dodging moves of his.

And the big missed chance: Savate. Not only it's France's national martial art, Paris is where it was improved in the street fights of the Belle Epoque... But nobody in the show practices it. The old non-sport style includes the ancestor of Parkour, cane fighting (now mostly practiced separatedly as La Canne), garrote (the contribution of Paris' gangs), throws (already present in Paris, where Greco-Roman Wrestling was born and practiced before being rebranded), and elbow and knee strikes. It would be perfect for out heroes, both of them... Yet they don't practice it.

Yeah, it's honestly such a shame that these awesome details/references are just either never used or a one-and-done deal just to make a cool easter egg. And sure, Gina's bike for example could be just that, a cool little character detail. Maybe while the bikes did stop getting made in the 60s, she got herself an old one and re-vamped it as the years went by. Adds flavor to her character. Admittedly I don't know enough to talk about the model, but I trust your skills when it comes to identifying the make. Also, I was always sure that changing your last name to a spouse's (like mrs Dupain-Cheng) is optional, like a courtesy as you said. I don't know enough French people to tell if it's a rare occurance or otherwise, but still a nice tidbit of info I'll file away.

Nora is honestly another prime example of wasting some awesome character building because they can't bother to do the research behind the design. Sure, she looks cool and somebody might have said "give her wrappings on the arms, that's awesome" and the designers went with it, but we clearly see that she is a Martial Arts buff even in the way she talks to Alya and co. Why they never bothered to lean in on that even as a background detail, I'll never know. I know it's unreasonable to expect any group of writers to focus on every single character beat, and that Nora doesn't appear enough to really warrant the focus, but it still would be cool to see even through like, one or two lines from Alya. A reference to the Anansi metaphor you mentioned or a word from Nora about the cultural inspiration. It would have been cool.

Continuing down the martial arts road, I did notice Lila's MMA moves in Chameleon, but it seemed more like a case of the writers/animators deciding on cool moves than them paying proper attention and using the correct style of fighting. Sure, they might have and in that case kudos to whoever greenlight that decision, but it always felt a little accidental to me, just for the sake of the action scene itself, you know? At least with Felix we get a proper explanation, and it does honestly build up his character with a cool detail. Not sure if Karate was the best fit for the reasoning here, but any explanation is a step in the right direction at least.

About Savate...it honestly would be an awesome inclusion. Sure, the heroes fight with their superpowers and weapons most of the time, but some the close-quarters moments like the rooftop scene in "Ladybug" was the perfect chance for Adrien to bust out a good throw at Hawkmoth. Speaking of, one might make the argument of Gabriel using La Canne moves, (and I honestly haven't seen enough to dispute that), but to me it looks like he handles his weapon more like a sword? Sure, fits in nicely with Adrien's fencing allowing him to fight back in a 1 vs 1, but we already have quite a few characters who swordfight this way. Tomoe and Kagami do, as does Adrien like I mentioned. It would have been much more visually interesting to give Gabriel a separate style of bladework, especially since his weapon is in the name. In general, I'd love to see a good knee-cracking kick from Ladybug, so I totally agree with you.

I do love Felix's outfit though. It's a cool reference to those who get it, but also stands on it's own as a cornerstone of his design and adds more to his character and personality. Especially with the entire fandom (me, I'm the fandom) writing about him habitually keeping wrinkles off his suit at all times and staying perfect. I refuse to believe Colt Fathom did not do a number on this kid. But yeah it's also just a cool outfit to put him in, and I appreciate that!

In terms of Roger and the police...I'm going to be frank with you, the show handles that aspect horribly. Sure, you could assume that they answer to Andre because he's the immediate authority figure and also a corrupt politician, but that's first of all not even remotely possibly without serious internal corruption of National Police, and second of all completely unreasonable! The police force's reaction to Akuma attacks used to be a big thing in Season 1. In Origins, they tried fighting Stoneheart on their own. And in Copycat, they try to apprehend "Chat Noir" for stealing the Mona Lisa. There's the seeds of an interesting dynamic between the heroes in masks and the boys in blue! But in Rogercop, they're being made into utter fools! Andre is very obviously under duress when he tells them to apprehend Ladybug and Chat Noir, and they just...start listening to the villain like mindless drones? In Maledictator I can excuse it, his whole powerset revolves around making new "laws" that those he blasts have to follow. Makes sense that Roger and co. would be the first responders and get beamed in 5 minutes flat. But in any case where an authority figure is forcibly giving orders, there is a protocol! A procedure to follow! A plan to be made! But...nothing! The show does absolutely nothing, and then beyond this point the vanish apart from another 2 or 3 times where police officers show up in the background somewhere, or as Akuma goons because we need grunts for an action scene. As much as I love "show don't tell", in this case I'd be happy with tell! A comment from a news report about how police have been instructed to stay out of the Akumas' way and help civilians evacuate is so easy to add, and it would change nothing except making Roger and his team actually usefull! As it stands, the entire concept of a police force exists only the few times Astruc needs it to. And don't even get me started on Chloe's coup of the Captial City of France!! I'm convinced this universe has no goverments, no presidents and no first responders for any situation, I swear...

About Lila's mother, yes! Finally somebody says it! Lila's mother is obviously overworked, she clearly does love her daughter but is physically unable to make time for her! This could be such a cool dynamic to see with Lila's home life, and like you said it perfectly explains why sometimes amidst her psychopathic tendencies there's a moment of unexpected maturity from her. Exploring this even gradually, even with us literally being drip-fed information, would have made Lila a much better character! There are so many layers here that remain unexplored, and I can smell the good content like a bloodhound! Sure is a shame that Thomas never bothered to include any of it... I swear, every fault this show has goes like this:

Cool Idea + Good Introduction + (Botched Everything-Else * No Follow-Up) = Miraculous Ladybug

Can't believe the writers made me do math for this show...or that when S6 releases we'll be able to make the "Six seasons and a movie" joke from Community. At least that's a silver lining...

P.S: I love Sabine's spatula. An elegant weapon, from a more civilized age...

[idrinkyouryouthquake]

I need a new show to watch reccs plz - must be at least somewhat of a comedy

Here are some faves:

Marvelous Mrs Maisel, B99, Parks & Rec, Frasier, Santa Clarita Diet, Black Books, IT Crowd, Psych, Gilmore Girls,30 Rock, Derry Girls, Friends, Mad About You, Seinfeld, Monk, Elsbeth, Columbo, Curb, Arrested Development, Waiting for God, Will & Grace, Schitt's Creek, Speechless, Community, Goldbergs, The Nanny, Toast of London

have enjoyed but would not call a fave:

Burn Notice, Royal Pains, Fresh Prince, My Life is Murder, Sherlock, Poker Face, Russian Doll, 3rd Rock from the Sun, Mighty Boosh, Mom, Nora from Queens, Ted Lasso, Shrinking, Get Smart, That Girl, Just Shoot Me, He & She, My Name is Earl, Kingdom (with Stephen Fry), Hot in Cleveland, Ghosted (why was this cancelled???), One Foot in the Grave, Patti Duke, Golden Girls, Flight of the Concords, Murphy Brown, Cougar Town, Year of the Rabbit, Good Place, Burns and Allen, Gidget, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, I Love Lucy, Tammy Grimes show, Girlfriends, I Dream of Jeanie, Bewitched, Beverly Hillbillies, Loudermilk, Uncle, Only Murders in the Building, Press Gang

Meh:

The Odd Couple (both), Vicar of Dibley, Brittas Empire, Designing Women, Jack & Triumph, Taxi, Are You Being Served, Happy Days, Mork & Mindy, Kate & Ally, Crazy Ex G, Raising Hope, The crazy Ones, Breaking In, Jim Gaffigan Show, Family Affair, Black-ish, Angie Tribeca, The Grinder, Grace & Frankie, Veronica's closet, Superstore, The Brokenwood Mysteries, The Riches

Shows I just don't like but I tried:

Girls, Two Broke Girls, New Girl, Mindy Project, Always Sunny, Physical, Hacks, Younger, Ugly Betty, Fleabag, Sex Ed, Young Sheldon, Big Bang Theory, Scrubs, Welcome Back Kotter, Mary Tyler Moore, Maude, Keeping Up Appearances, Barry, Veep, Old Christine, Reno 911, Great Indoors, The Office (both), Cheers, Episodes, Mulaney (hate that I don't like this), Schooled, Dr Ken, Great News, Girls 5Eva, As Time Goes By, Spaced, B Positive, Loot, The Mentalist, Chuck, Band of Brothers, The Other Two, Father Ted, Physical, Brockmire, Kaos, Mr Mayor, Killing It, Castle, Bones, Veronica Mars, Wings

I know I've very clearly seen too much tv, yet I come to you, internet, for more

*Also, I've seen every disney channel sitcom that aired from like 1998 up until like Hannah Montana season 2 and they were basically all awesome tbh

My ideal show would have Paul Reiser in it and also be like a tv version of the movie The Birdcage or something like that. Or like a tv version of The Birdcage where Nathan Lane's character solves murders. And Tony Shaloub would be in it.

[itsrattysworld]

Without Prejudice Mervelee Myers Record South London Maudsley NHS Exposed For Their Role With Adult Social Care, Housing For Women, Mimi Owusu, Start LEYF 1/9/2009 Training Understanding Statutory Assessment As EYFS Coordinator, SENCO, Multigen Working Approach Facilitator I Was Endorsed Professors Chris Pascal LinkedIn Meet Big Childcare Conversation Middlesex University 19/9/2015 Facebook Gave Neil King Access To Account Had Print Out When Called To CO Trick Me To Write Resignation Done To Karen Walker Am Not Bothered About Samantha Gibbs Witness Statement Started Job April Invite ASB May 2022 I Will Get Tenants To Start Revolt Against Landlords Threaten Us Unlawful Injunction Threats Imprisonment Possession Eviction Customer Portal Wiped Data 2000 Narin Masera Mr Bond Michael Lewis Slippery Slope To Jail Perverting Course Of Justice With Deborah Agnes Gilchrist Ask Metropolitan Police To Support With Changes In Behaviour Broke Glass To Communal Door Claim I Locked Her Out Partner Kicking Door Barbara Tony Verbal Abuse A New Met For London Nigel Pearce Trending On YouTube In Creations As Is Sir Mark Rowley Thought Disorder, Pressure Of Speech, Flight Of Ideas Paranoid Thoughts, Don't Apply To Me, Symptoms Of Low Mood Paranoia Due Anxiety Depression Caused By Being Pushed Over Edge To Be HCT Group Impact Report 2016 1 In 5 Of All Suicides Associated With Unemployment Husband 600,000 Older People In UK Say They Leave Home Once Per Week Or Less MAPS BRAINS Philosophy Change Early Years Education MIC Abusers Advisor Mayor Of London Ofsted June O'Sullivan Expose 31/12/23

Without Prejudice Mervelee Myers Name Dr Datta, Dr Nicole Evans- Byron, Jane Tsiga South London Maudsley NHS Foundation Trust, County Court At Clerkenwell Shoreditch DJ Sterlini, Richard Hayes, DJ Bell, DJ Naidoo Have Been Con By Housing For Women, Devonshires Solicitors Michael Lewis, Mr Monk, Narin Masera Via Samantha Gibbs Start With H4W, Coerced Deborah Agnes Gilchrist To Target Me Asked If I…

[pixelatedquarter]

Synopsis found on the backs of these VHS covers and a brief statement about this era of films:

The Collection:

“If you build it, they will come.” After five years of inactivity, the studios’ highly anticipated return brings together the old with the new: returning to collaborators from their past, in a style that has at times been compared to their earlier works, the studios nevertheless avoid overindulging in nostalgia, instead offering a look at the old, certainly, but through a whole new lens. Overall, this era is characterized by its duality: these movies are dealing with nostalgia and tragedy, yet overflowing with spots of unfailing hope that are made even more significant by the overwhelmingly positive reception that this era received from the studios’ most dedicated fans.

Love From The Other Side:

“Once upon a time in a little village called Winnetkaland there was a band called Fall Out Boy. All they ever dreamed about was seeing the magical world outside of their little town. But the wicked mayor hated their music...” Embark on an adventure with this group of soulmates, join them as they meet a fantastical cast of characters, from the evil raccoon wizard to the creatures of emo island. Get to the other side of the apocalypse and don’t look back. What would you trade the pain for?

Heartbreak Feels So Good:

A prank gone wrong turns into a fast paced heist! Join the team as our characters make their frantic escape, experience Panic ending cults, and get betrayed by their friends... and their memory! With a guest appearance by Mr. Weezer and a surprise cameo from one of the studios’ founding members as their guy on the screen, you will laugh until you cry a little... or a lot. This movie’s soundtrack will leave you wanting to dance those tears away!

Hold Me Like A Grudge:

The long awaited latest instalment of the Dance Dance series! A leg injury changed the course of the bass player’s life, turning him into a supersonic superhero. He demanded his Cornflower Blue have no fun without him, and drove his friends away. But now, years later, the time space acquarium of merged timelines starts unravelling, and he is forced to team up with his old crew against the evil Bingo Hat. He is catapulted back to being The Wrestler’s full-time problem, carrying The Transcended Monk in The Soulmate Wheelbarrow, and starting the fire with BALLS The Aardvark. Can they save the day with the power of friendship, music... and the emergency fedora?

Fake Out:

“Make no plans so none can be broken.” This is the motto our protagonist lives by, so that all reminders of his lost chance at love cannot hurt him, it wasn’t gonna last anyway. Or so he tries to convince himself. But when things start to feel out of place and he figures out he’s living a dream he’s buried himself in, will he find a way to get his chance at this love? In what’s been commended as the key collaboration that made it all click together, the more cooperative process with a formerly overlooked member of the production team really shines through in this dark and dreamy homage to the rom-com genre. Cut through the darkness, figure out a window to break out.

Heaven, Iowa:

Destined for tragedy, the hero wants nothing more than to be remembered sweetly, nothing more than to be given a eulogy by his scar crossed lovers who could never be. But is the hook of death truly inevitable? Or will his scar crossed lovers sit with him and see him through to the other side? “Shake things up and see what comes down...” With one of the more somber entries of this era, 88 LAX Studios nevertheless manages to bring a sense of brightness and novelty, brought forth especially by the unusually collaborative process with their oft quieter member, who this time steps up to the co-director chair, bringing a refreshing parallel take to his collaborator’s well-known (and well-loved) directing style.

So Good Right Now:

What could go wrong on this fun, hijinks fuelled roadtrip to elope and make our heroes’ wildest dreams come true? Everything, as it turns out. Everything crashes and burns in this shenanigan-filled, frantic comedy horror film, as they cut themselves down and rip themselves apart to become what they think the other needs them to be.

The Pink Seashell:

One of the most experimental shorts from 88 LAX, an abstract transformation of footage melds into an almost dreamlike search for meaning on the shore.

I Am My Own Muse:

One man— or two. This gritty, cynical instalment features a superhero who thinks himself alone in trying to save the world against all odds. But must he really sacrifice everything, including his allies, to his end? Or can their dreams be saved? Will they ever see the stars again?

Flu Game:

A falling out, a falling apart that tears the world in half. For his part, the hero tries to keep all his feelings to himself in a pretense at effortlessness, at attempting to keep going even in the absence of everything he thought he knew. In this deceivingly action packed movie he’ll have to fight to take back the empty half of the life he carved, even when both sides will need to make new space for who they’ve become in the absence.

Baby Annihilation:

An introspective, extremely raw biographical short set within the trademark visual metaphor framework that characterizes this director, this ambitious short is produced nearly exclusively by the director, with only a sound design assistant. Despite not being the first project of its kind, it nevertheless is the first to gain an exclusive release, rather than simply played as a bonus post-credits scene.

The Kintsugi Kid (Ten Years):

A retrospective of highlights and lowest moments of a person’s life and struggles as a young man, a look into how the years have changed them into someone completely new, yet put together from the same shattered parts. Laden with symbolism, 88 LAX studios manages to turn what could be a dark tale into a hopeful one, but without shying away from depicting the allure of the dark path.

What A Time To Be Alive:

Join our bright and cheerful cast on this cruise! Music! Fun! Neon nights! You can almost ignore the ports are burning, just look at how stunning they are! With our captain at the helm giving it his all, perhaps you too will find someone you no longer know, just to hold you while you two party at the end of the world.

So Much (For) Stardust:

“In another life you were my babe—” Cowboy Heat Wentz shakes a magic 8 ball that allows him to see all the lives he could have led, which summons one of his possible futures and allows him a close glimpse at what will – or could be. “—what would you trade the pain for?”

what is there between us, if not a little annihilation? 📼

fob vhs series

[psalm22-6]

“Fantine or the Fate of a Grizette”

I already thought this New York Clipper article, which describes a 1863 adaptation of Les Misérables at Grover’s Theatre, was cool because I love the list of principal characters. (Blancheville gets to sing a song? Marguerite is included!) But then I got to the last part, where they mention that it has music by Charles Koppitz! And realized that this is the production which David Bellos discussed at BarricadesCon! (Actually the title of the play could have tipped me off to that but it didn’t). The score can be found here. An interesting little piece of history. But by no means unique. Well, this production might have been uniquely good by the sounds of it, but there were quite a few adaptations of Les Misérables being put on around the United States in 1862 and 1863. The earliest I have found (so far) was October 1862, in Marysville California with J. B. Booth Jr. (brother of John Wilkes Booth) as one of the principal actors (I wish I had more to say on that but so far I just have a one sentence mention of it in one newspaper). And you’ll notice that in this article, they say “still another” play “has come to light since our last.” That’s because this article is from January 31st 1863, but on January 17th they had reported a different production of Les Miserables entirely that was also being put on. And the next month there would be at least two other productions put on in the area, reported on by the same paper (one of which was notably long, only ending at one in the morning and later being cut down so that it ended at 11).         (This article was in that super dense no paragraph break style of newspapers of the time so I have broken it up considerably for readability). 

And still another dramatization of “Les Miserables” has come to light since our last. This last is the production of Mr. Albert Cassedy, of Washington, D.C., and was presented for the first time at Grover’s Theatre, on the 19th inst., continuing through the week. Mr. Cassedy calls his work “Fantine, or the Fate of a Grizette.” The cast embraces the entire company, and as our friends may like to see the distribution of characters, we give it, as follows: — Fantine, Kate Denin  Jean Valjean, Father Madelaine, M. Madeleine, Mayor, Charles Barron Bishop of Myriel, Ben Rogers Javert, M. H. Bokee Tholomyes, D. Setchell Blackeville [sic] (with a song), J. L. Barrett  Scaufflaire, Harry Clifford  Fauchelevent, H. McDolanld Little Gervais (with a song), Sophie Gimber Prosecuting Attorney, Alonzo Read Host of the Inn, M.A. Kennedy Champmathieu, T. M. Wemyss Brevet, J. V. Daily Listolier, E. S. Tarr Favorite (with a song), Viola Crocker Madame Magloire, Mrs G. O. Germon Sister Simplice, Isabella Freeman Baptistine, Addie Anderson Marguerite, Fanny Ryan Dahlia, Ada Monk Zephine, Flora Lee Cosette, Little Katy Madame Victurnien, Minnie Monk Madame Thenardier, Jennie Monk Extra pains were taken to give due effect to this great work, and the full resources of the establishment were called in, to place the play in a proper manner before the public. New music was arranged by Koppitz, the “Nightingale;” and fresh scenery and skilful effects introduced. The last scene is said to be a gem; it is an allegorical tableau, representing the finding of Cosette by Jean Valjean, and the Apotheosis of Fantine. 

Here is a review from the Washington DC Evening Star, 20 January 1863 

Mr. Cassedy’s dramatization from “Fantine,” drew an immense house last night. The author has certainly been very happy in his adaptation, and having a company from which to cast his characters, whereon he could depend, the success of the piece was hardly to be wondered at. Mr. Cassedy has in a very felicitous manner woven into the representation every prominent feature in the book, and he has performed the difficult task of giving a somewhat prominent part to each of some thirty performers. If Mr. Barron could be induced to dispense with some of his spasmodic actions and fifth-rate melodramatic rant in the part of Jean Valjean, it would be all the better for the play. “Fantine” will be performed again tonight. 

[lesmislettersdaily]

How Jean May Become Champ

Volume 1: Fantine; Book 6: Javert, Chapter 2: How Jean May Become Champ

One morning M. Madeleine was in his study, occupied in arranging in advance some pressing matters connected with the mayor’s office, in case he should decide to take the trip to Montfermeil, when he was informed that Police Inspector Javert was desirous of speaking with him. Madeleine could not refrain from a disagreeable impression on hearing this name. Javert had avoided him more than ever since the affair of the police-station, and M. Madeleine had not seen him.

“Admit him,” he said.

Javert entered.

M. Madeleine had retained his seat near the fire, pen in hand, his eyes fixed on the docket which he was turning over and annotating, and which contained the trials of the commission on highways for the infraction of police regulations. He did not disturb himself on Javert’s account. He could not help thinking of poor Fantine, and it suited him to be glacial in his manner.

Javert bestowed a respectful salute on the mayor, whose back was turned to him. The mayor did not look at him, but went on annotating this docket.

Javert advanced two or three paces into the study, and halted, without breaking the silence.

If any physiognomist who had been familiar with Javert, and who had made a lengthy study of this savage in the service of civilization, this singular composite of the Roman, the Spartan, the monk, and the corporal, this spy who was incapable of a lie, this unspotted police agent—if any physiognomist had known his secret and long-cherished aversion for M. Madeleine, his conflict with the mayor on the subject of Fantine, and had examined Javert at that moment, he would have said to himself, “What has taken place?” It was evident to any one acquainted with that clear, upright, sincere, honest, austere, and ferocious conscience, that Javert had but just gone through some great interior struggle. Javert had nothing in his soul which he had not also in his countenance. Like violent people in general, he was subject to abrupt changes of opinion. His physiognomy had never been more peculiar and startling. On entering he bowed to M. Madeleine with a look in which there was neither rancor, anger, nor distrust; he halted a few paces in the rear of the mayor’s armchair, and there he stood, perfectly erect, in an attitude almost of discipline, with the cold, ingenuous roughness of a man who has never been gentle and who has always been patient; he waited without uttering a word, without making a movement, in genuine humility and tranquil resignation, calm, serious, hat in hand, with eyes cast down, and an expression which was half-way between that of a soldier in the presence of his officer and a criminal in the presence of his judge, until it should please the mayor to turn round. All the sentiments as well as all the memories which one might have attributed to him had disappeared. That face, as impenetrable and simple as granite, no longer bore any trace of anything but a melancholy depression. His whole person breathed lowliness and firmness and an indescribable courageous despondency.

At last the mayor laid down his pen and turned half round.

“Well! What is it? What is the matter, Javert?”

Javert remained silent for an instant as though collecting his ideas, then raised his voice with a sort of sad solemnity, which did not, however, preclude simplicity.

“This is the matter, Mr. Mayor; a culpable act has been committed.”

“What act?”

“An inferior agent of the authorities has failed in respect, and in the gravest manner, towards a magistrate. I have come to bring the fact to your knowledge, as it is my duty to do.”

“Who is the agent?” asked M. Madeleine.

“I,” said Javert.

“You?”

“I.”

“And who is the magistrate who has reason to complain of the agent?”

“You, Mr. Mayor.”

M. Madeleine sat erect in his armchair. Javert went on, with a severe air and his eyes still cast down.

“Mr. Mayor, I have come to request you to instigate the authorities to dismiss me.”

M. Madeleine opened his mouth in amazement. Javert interrupted him:—

“You will say that I might have handed in my resignation, but that does not suffice. Handing in one’s resignation is honorable. I have failed in my duty; I ought to be punished; I must be turned out.”

And after a pause he added:—

“Mr. Mayor, you were severe with me the other day, and unjustly. Be so to-day, with justice.”

“Come, now! Why?” exclaimed M. Madeleine. “What nonsense is this? What is the meaning of this? What culpable act have you been guilty of towards me? What have you done to me? What are your wrongs with regard to me? You accuse yourself; you wish to be superseded—”

“Turned out,” said Javert.

“Turned out; so it be, then. That is well. I do not understand.”

“You shall understand, Mr. Mayor.”

Javert sighed from the very bottom of his chest, and resumed, still coldly and sadly:—

“Mr. Mayor, six weeks ago, in consequence of the scene over that woman, I was furious, and I informed against you.”

“Informed against me!”

“At the Prefecture of Police in Paris.”

M. Madeleine, who was not in the habit of laughing much oftener than Javert himself, burst out laughing now:—

“As a mayor who had encroached on the province of the police?”

“As an ex-convict.”

The mayor turned livid.

Javert, who had not raised his eyes, went on:—

“I thought it was so. I had had an idea for a long time; a resemblance; inquiries which you had caused to be made at Faverolles; the strength of your loins; the adventure with old Fauchelevant; your skill in marksmanship; your leg, which you drag a little;—I hardly know what all,—absurdities! But, at all events, I took you for a certain Jean Valjean.”

“A certain—What did you say the name was?”

“Jean Valjean. He was a convict whom I was in the habit of seeing twenty years ago, when I was adjutant-guard of convicts at Toulon. On leaving the galleys, this Jean Valjean, as it appears, robbed a bishop; then he committed another theft, accompanied with violence, on a public highway on the person of a little Savoyard. He disappeared eight years ago, no one knows how, and he has been sought, I fancied. In short, I did this thing! Wrath impelled me; I denounced you at the Prefecture!”

M. Madeleine, who had taken up the docket again several moments before this, resumed with an air of perfect indifference:—

“And what reply did you receive?”

“That I was mad.”

“Well?”

“Well, they were right.”

“It is lucky that you recognize the fact.”

“I am forced to do so, since the real Jean Valjean has been found.”

The sheet of paper which M. Madeleine was holding dropped from his hand; he raised his head, gazed fixedly at Javert, and said with his indescribable accent:—

“Ah!”

Javert continued:—

“This is the way it is, Mr. Mayor. It seems that there was in the neighborhood near Ailly-le-Haut-Clocher an old fellow who was called Father Champmathieu. He was a very wretched creature. No one paid any attention to him. No one knows what such people subsist on. Lately, last autumn, Father Champmathieu was arrested for the theft of some cider apples from—Well, no matter, a theft had been committed, a wall scaled, branches of trees broken. My Champmathieu was arrested. He still had the branch of apple-tree in his hand. The scamp is locked up. Up to this point it was merely an affair of a misdemeanor. But here is where Providence intervened.

“The jail being in a bad condition, the examining magistrate finds it convenient to transfer Champmathieu to Arras, where the departmental prison is situated. In this prison at Arras there is an ex-convict named Brevet, who is detained for I know not what, and who has been appointed turnkey of the house, because of good behavior. Mr. Mayor, no sooner had Champmathieu arrived than Brevet exclaims: ‘Eh! Why, I know that man! He is a fagot!4 Take a good look at me, my good man! You are Jean Valjean!’ ‘Jean Valjean! who’s Jean Valjean?’ Champmathieu feigns astonishment. ‘Don’t play the innocent dodge,’ says Brevet. ‘You are Jean Valjean! You have been in the galleys of Toulon; it was twenty years ago; we were there together.’ Champmathieu denies it. Parbleu! You understand. The case is investigated. The thing was well ventilated for me. This is what they discovered: This Champmathieu had been, thirty years ago, a pruner of trees in various localities, notably at Faverolles. There all trace of him was lost. A long time afterwards he was seen again in Auvergne; then in Paris, where he is said to have been a wheelwright, and to have had a daughter, who was a laundress; but that has not been proved. Now, before going to the galleys for theft, what was Jean Valjean? A pruner of trees. Where? At Faverolles. Another fact. This Valjean’s Christian name was Jean, and his mother’s surname was Mathieu. What more natural to suppose than that, on emerging from the galleys, he should have taken his mother’s name for the purpose of concealing himself, and have called himself Jean Mathieu? He goes to Auvergne. The local pronunciation turns Jean into Chan—he is called Chan Mathieu. Our man offers no opposition, and behold him transformed into Champmathieu. You follow me, do you not? Inquiries were made at Faverolles. The family of Jean Valjean is no longer there. It is not known where they have gone. You know that among those classes a family often disappears. Search was made, and nothing was found. When such people are not mud, they are dust. And then, as the beginning of the story dates thirty years back, there is no longer any one at Faverolles who knew Jean Valjean. Inquiries were made at Toulon. Besides Brevet, there are only two convicts in existence who have seen Jean Valjean; they are Cochepaille and Chenildieu, and are sentenced for life. They are taken from the galleys and confronted with the pretended Champmathieu. They do not hesitate; he is Jean Valjean for them as well as for Brevet. The same age,—he is fifty-four,—the same height, the same air, the same man; in short, it is he. It was precisely at this moment that I forwarded my denunciation to the Prefecture in Paris. I was told that I had lost my reason, and that Jean Valjean is at Arras, in the power of the authorities. You can imagine whether this surprised me, when I thought that I had that same Jean Valjean here. I write to the examining judge; he sends for me; Champmathieu is conducted to me—”

“Well?” interposed M. Madeleine.

Javert replied, his face incorruptible, and as melancholy as ever:—

“Mr. Mayor, the truth is the truth. I am sorry; but that man is Jean Valjean. I recognized him also.”

M. Madeleine resumed in, a very low voice:—

“You are sure?”

Javert began to laugh, with that mournful laugh which comes from profound conviction.

“O! Sure!”

He stood there thoughtfully for a moment, mechanically taking pinches of powdered wood for blotting ink from the wooden bowl which stood on the table, and he added:—

“And even now that I have seen the real Jean Valjean, I do not see how I could have thought otherwise. I beg your pardon, Mr. Mayor.”

Javert, as he addressed these grave and supplicating words to the man, who six weeks before had humiliated him in the presence of the whole station-house, and bade him “leave the room,”—Javert, that haughty man, was unconsciously full of simplicity and dignity,—M. Madeleine made no other reply to his prayer than the abrupt question:—

“And what does this man say?”

“Ah! Indeed, Mr. Mayor, it’s a bad business. If he is Jean Valjean, he has his previous conviction against him. To climb a wall, to break a branch, to purloin apples, is a mischievous trick in a child; for a man it is a misdemeanor; for a convict it is a crime. Robbing and housebreaking—it is all there. It is no longer a question of correctional police; it is a matter for the Court of Assizes. It is no longer a matter of a few days in prison; it is the galleys for life. And then, there is the affair with the little Savoyard, who will return, I hope. The deuce! there is plenty to dispute in the matter, is there not? Yes, for any one but Jean Valjean. But Jean Valjean is a sly dog. That is the way I recognized him. Any other man would have felt that things were getting hot for him; he would struggle, he would cry out—the kettle sings before the fire; he would not be Jean Valjean, et cetera. But he has not the appearance of understanding; he says, ‘I am Champmathieu, and I won’t depart from that!’ He has an astonished air, he pretends to be stupid; it is far better. Oh! the rogue is clever! But it makes no difference. The proofs are there. He has been recognized by four persons; the old scamp will be condemned. The case has been taken to the Assizes at Arras. I shall go there to give my testimony. I have been summoned.”

M. Madeleine had turned to his desk again, and taken up his docket, and was turning over the leaves tranquilly, reading and writing by turns, like a busy man. He turned to Javert:—

“That will do, Javert. In truth, all these details interest me but little. We are wasting our time, and we have pressing business on hand. Javert, you will betake yourself at once to the house of the woman Buseaupied, who sells herbs at the corner of the Rue Saint-Saulve. You will tell her that she must enter her complaint against carter Pierre Chesnelong. The man is a brute, who came near crushing this woman and her child. He must be punished. You will then go to M. Charcellay, Rue Montre-de-Champigny. He complained that there is a gutter on the adjoining house which discharges rain-water on his premises, and is undermining the foundations of his house. After that, you will verify the infractions of police regulations which have been reported to me in the Rue Guibourg, at Widow Doris’s, and Rue du Garraud-Blanc, at Madame Renée le Bossé’s, and you will prepare documents. But I am giving you a great deal of work. Are you not to be absent? Did you not tell me that you were going to Arras on that matter in a week or ten days?”

“Sooner than that, Mr. Mayor.”

“On what day, then?”

“Why, I thought that I had said to Monsieur le Maire that the case was to be tried to-morrow, and that I am to set out by diligence to-night.”

M. Madeleine made an imperceptible movement.

“And how long will the case last?”

“One day, at the most. The judgment will be pronounced to-morrow evening at latest. But I shall not wait for the sentence, which is certain; I shall return here as soon as my deposition has been taken.”

“That is well,” said M. Madeleine.

And he dismissed Javert with a wave of the hand.

Javert did not withdraw.

“Excuse me, Mr. Mayor,” said he.

“What is it now?” demanded M. Madeleine.

“Mr. Mayor, there is still something of which I must remind you.”

“What is it?”

“That I must be dismissed.”

M. Madeleine rose.

“Javert, you are a man of honor, and I esteem you. You exaggerate your fault. Moreover, this is an offence which concerns me. Javert, you deserve promotion instead of degradation. I wish you to retain your post.”

Javert gazed at M. Madeleine with his candid eyes, in whose depths his not very enlightened but pure and rigid conscience seemed visible, and said in a tranquil voice:—

“Mr. Mayor, I cannot grant you that.”

“I repeat,” replied M. Madeleine, “that the matter concerns me.”

But Javert, heeding his own thought only, continued:—

“So far as exaggeration is concerned, I am not exaggerating. This is the way I reason: I have suspected you unjustly. That is nothing. It is our right to cherish suspicion, although suspicion directed above ourselves is an abuse. But without proofs, in a fit of rage, with the object of wreaking my vengeance, I have denounced you as a convict, you, a respectable man, a mayor, a magistrate! That is serious, very serious. I have insulted authority in your person, I, an agent of the authorities! If one of my subordinates had done what I have done, I should have declared him unworthy of the service, and have expelled him. Well? Stop, Mr. Mayor; one word more. I have often been severe in the course of my life towards others. That is just. I have done well. Now, if I were not severe towards myself, all the justice that I have done would become injustice. Ought I to spare myself more than others? No! What! I should be good for nothing but to chastise others, and not myself! Why, I should be a blackguard! Those who say, ‘That blackguard of a Javert!’ would be in the right. Mr. Mayor, I do not desire that you should treat me kindly; your kindness roused sufficient bad blood in me when it was directed to others. I want none of it for myself. The kindness which consists in upholding a woman of the town against a citizen, the police agent against the mayor, the man who is down against the man who is up in the world, is what I call false kindness. That is the sort of kindness which disorganizes society. Good God! it is very easy to be kind; the difficulty lies in being just. Come! if you had been what I thought you, I should not have been kind to you, not I! You would have seen! Mr. Mayor, I must treat myself as I would treat any other man. When I have subdued malefactors, when I have proceeded with vigor against rascals, I have often said to myself, ‘If you flinch, if I ever catch you in fault, you may rest at your ease!’ I have flinched, I have caught myself in a fault. So much the worse! Come, discharged, cashiered, expelled! That is well. I have arms. I will till the soil; it makes no difference to me. Mr. Mayor, the good of the service demands an example. I simply require the discharge of Inspector Javert.”

All this was uttered in a proud, humble, despairing, yet convinced tone, which lent indescribable grandeur to this singular, honest man.

“We shall see,” said M. Madeleine.

And he offered him his hand.

Javert recoiled, and said in a wild voice:—

“Excuse me, Mr. Mayor, but this must not be. A mayor does not offer his hand to a police spy.”

He added between his teeth:—

“A police spy, yes; from the moment when I have misused the police. I am no more than a police spy.”

Then he bowed profoundly, and directed his steps towards the door.

There he wheeled round, and with eyes still downcast:—

“Mr. Mayor,” he said, “I shall continue to serve until I am superseded.”

He withdrew. M. Madeleine remained thoughtfully listening to the firm, sure step, which died away on the pavement of the corridor.

[nellygwyn]

BOOK RECS

Okay, so lots of people wanted this and so, I am compiling a list of my favourite books (both fiction and non-fiction), books that I recommend you read as soon as humanly possible. In the meantime, I’ll be pinning this post to the top of my blog (once I work out how to do that lmao) so it will be accessible for old and new followers. I’m going to order this list thematically, I think, just to keep everything tidy and orderly. Of course, a lot of this list will consist of historical fiction and historical non-fiction because that’s what I read primarily and thus, that’s where my bias is, but I promise to try and spice it up just a little bit. 

Favourite fiction books of all time:

The Mermaid and Mrs Hancock // Imogen Hermes Gowar

Sense and Sensibility // Jane Austen

Slammerkin // Emma Donoghue 

Remarkable Creatures // Tracy Chevalier

Life Mask // Emma Donoghue

His Dark Materials // Philip Pullman (this includes the follow-up series The Book of Dust)

Emma // Jane Austen

The Miniaturist // Jessie Burton

Girl, Woman, Other // Bernadine Evaristo 

Jane Eyre // Charlotte Bront��

Persuasion // Jane Austen

Girl with a Pearl Earring // Tracy Chevalier

The Silent Companions // Laura Purcell

Tess of the d’Urbervilles // Thomas Hardy

Northanger Abbey // Jane Austen

The Chronicles of Narnia // C.S. Lewis

Pride and Prejudice // Jane Austen

Goodnight, Mr Tom // Michelle Magorian

The French Lieutenant’s Woman // John Fowles 

The Butcher’s Hook // Janet Ellis 

Mansfield Park // Jane Austen

The All Souls Trilogy // Deborah Harkness

The Railway Children // Edith Nesbit

Favourite non-fiction books of all time

Catherine the Great: Portrait of a Woman // Robert Massie

Love and Louis XIV: The Women in the Life of the Sun King // Antonia Fraser

Madame de Pompadour // Nancy Mitford

The First Iron Lady: A Life of Caroline of Ansbach // Matthew Dennison 

Black and British: A Forgotten History // David Olusoga

Courtiers: The Secret History of the Georgian Court // Lucy Worsley 

Young and Damned and Fair: The Life of Katherine Howard, the Fifth Wife of Henry VIII // Gareth Russell

King Charles II // Antonia Fraser

Casanova’s Women // Judith Summers

Marie Antoinette: The Journey // Antonia Fraser

Mrs. Jordan’s Profession: The Story of a Great Actress and a Future King // Claire Tomalin

Jane Austen at Home // Lucy Worsley

Mudlarking: Lost and Found on the River Thames // Lara Maiklem

The Last Royal Rebel: The Life and Death of James, Duke of Monmouth // Anna Keay

The Marlboroughs: John and Sarah Churchill // Christopher Hibbert

Nell Gwynn: A Biography // Charles Beauclerk

Jurassic Mary: Mary Anning and the Primeval Monsters // Patricia Pierce

Georgian London: Into the Streets // Lucy Inglis

The Prince Who Would Be King: The Life and Death of Henry Stuart // Sarah Fraser

Wedlock: How Georgian Britain’s Worst Husband Met His Match // Wendy Moore

Dead Famous: An Unexpected History of Celebrity from the Stone Age to the Silver Screen // Greg Jenner

Victorians Undone: Tales of the Flesh in the Age of Decorum // Kathryn Hughes

Crown of Blood: The Deadly Inheritance of Lady Jane Grey // Nicola Tallis

Favourite books about the history of sex and/or sex work

The Origins of Sex: A History of First Sexual Revolution // Faramerz Dabhoiwala 

Erotic Exchanges: The World of Elite Prostitution in Eighteenth-Century Paris // Nina Kushner

Peg Plunkett: Memoirs of a Whore // Julie Peakman

Courtesans // Katie Hickman

The Other Victorians: A Study of Sexuality and Pornography in mid-Nineteenth Century England

Madams, Bawds, and Brothel Keepers // Fergus Linnane

The Secret History of Georgian London: How the Wages of Sin Shaped the Capital // Dan Cruickshank 

A Curious History of Sex // Kate Lister

Sex and Punishment: 4000 Years of Judging Desire // Eric Berkowitz

Queen of the Courtesans: Fanny Murray // Barbara White

Rent Boys: A History from Ancient Times to Present // Michael Hone

Celeste // Roland Perry

Sex and the Gender Revolution // Randolph Trumbach

The Pleasure’s All Mine: A History of Perverse Sex // Julie Peakman

LGBT+ fiction I love*

The Confessions of the Fox // Jordy Rosenberg 

As Meat Loves Salt // Maria Mccann

Bone China // Laura Purcell

Brideshead Revisited // Evelyn Waugh

The Confessions of Frannie Langton // Sara Collins

The Intoxicating Mr Lavelle // Neil Blackmore

Orlando // Virginia Woolf

Tipping the Velvet // Sarah Waters

She Rises // Kate Worsley

The Mercies // Kiran Millwood Hargrave

Oranges are Not the Only Fruit // Jeanette Winterson

Maurice // E.M Forster

Frankisstein: A Love Story // Jeanette Winterson

If I Was Your Girl // Meredith Russo 

The Well of Loneliness // Radclyffe Hall 

* fyi, Life Mask and Girl, Woman, Other are also LGBT+ fiction

Classics I haven’t already mentioned (including children’s classics)

Far From the Madding Crowd // Thomas Hardy 

I Capture the Castle // Dodie Smith 

Vanity Fair // William Makepeace Thackeray 

Wuthering Heights // Emily Brontë

The Blazing World // Margaret Cavendish, Duchess of Newcastle

Murder on the Orient Express // Agatha Christie 

Great Expectations // Charles Dickens

North and South // Elizabeth Gaskell

Evelina // Frances Burney

Death on the Nile // Agatha Christie

The Monk // Matthew Lewis

Frankenstein // Mary Shelley

Vilette // Charlotte Brontë

The Mayor of Casterbridge // Thomas Hardy

The Tenant of Wildfell Hall // Anne Brontë

Vile Bodies // Evelyn Waugh

Beloved // Toni Morrison 

The Murder of Roger Ackroyd // Agatha Christie

The History of Tom Jones, A Foundling // Henry Fielding

A Room With a View // E.M. Forster

Silas Marner // George Eliot 

Jude the Obscure // Thomas Hardy

My Man Jeeves // P.G. Wodehouse

Lady Audley’s Secret // Mary Elizabeth Braddon

Middlemarch // George Eliot

Little Women // Louisa May Alcott

Children of the New Forest // Frederick Marryat

I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings // Maya Angelou 

Rebecca // Daphne du Maurier

Alice in Wonderland // Lewis Carroll

The Wind in the Willows // Kenneth Grahame

Anna Karenina // Leo Tolstoy

Howard’s End // E.M. Forster

The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole, Aged 13 3/4 // Sue Townsend

Even more fiction recommendations

The Darling Strumpet // Gillian Bagwell

The Wolf Hall trilogy // Hilary Mantel

The Illumination of Ursula Flight // Anne-Marie Crowhurst

Queenie // Candace Carty-Williams

Forever Amber // Kathleen Winsor

The Corset // Laura Purcell

Love in Colour // Bolu Babalola

Artemisia // Alexandra Lapierre

Blackberry and Wild Rose // Sonia Velton

The Bloody Chamber and Other Stories // Angela Carter

The Languedoc trilogy // Kate Mosse

Longbourn // Jo Baker

A Skinful of Shadows // Frances Hardinge

The Black Moth // Georgette Heyer

The Far Pavilions // M.M Kaye

The Essex Serpent // Sarah Perry

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo // Taylor Jenkins Reid

Cavalier Queen // Fiona Mountain 

The Winter Palace // Eva Stachniak

Friday’s Child // Georgette Heyer

Falling Angels // Tracy Chevalier

Little // Edward Carey

Chocolat // Joanne Harris 

The Watchmaker of Filigree Street // Natasha Pulley 

My Sister, the Serial Killer // Oyinkan Braithwaite

The Convenient Marriage // Georgette Heyer

Katie Mulholland // Catherine Cookson

Restoration // Rose Tremain

Meat Market // Juno Dawson

Lady on the Coin // Margaret Campbell Bowes

In the Company of the Courtesan // Sarah Dunant

The Crimson Petal and the White // Michel Faber

A Place of Greater Safety // Hilary Mantel 

The Little Shop of Found Things // Paula Brackston

The Improbability of Love // Hannah Rothschild

The Murder Most Unladylike series // Robin Stevens

Dark Angels // Karleen Koen

The Words in My Hand // Guinevere Glasfurd

Time’s Convert // Deborah Harkness

The Collector // John Fowles

Vivaldi’s Virgins // Barbara Quick

The Foundling // Stacey Halls

The Phantom Tree // Nicola Cornick

The Seven Deaths of Evelyn Hardcastle // Stuart Turton

Golden Hill // Francis Spufford

Assorted non-fiction not yet mentioned

The Dinosaur Hunters: A True Story of Scientific Rivalry and the Discovery of the Prehistoric World // Deborah Cadbury

The Beauty and the Terror: An Alternative History to the Italian Renaissance // Catherine Fletcher

All the King's Women: Love, Sex, and Politics in the life of Charles II // Derek Jackson

Mozart’s Women // Jane Glover

Scandalous Liaisons: Charles II and His Court // R.E. Pritchard

Matilda: Queen, Empress, Warrior // Catherine Hanley 

Black Tudors // Miranda Kaufman 

To Catch a King: Charles II's Great Escape // Charles Spencer

1666: Plague, War and Hellfire // Rebecca Rideal

Henrietta Maria: Charles I's Indomitable Queen // Alison Plowden

Catherine of Braganza: Charles II's Restoration Queen // Sarah-Beth Watkins

Four Sisters: The Lost Lives of the Romanov Grand Duchesses // Helen Rappaport

Aristocrats: Caroline, Emily, Louisa and Sarah Lennox, 1740-1832 // Stella Tillyard 

The Fortunes of Francis Barber: The True Story of the Jamaican Slave who Became Samuel Johnson’s Heir // Michael Bundock

Black London: Life Before Emancipation // Gretchen Gerzina

In These Times: Living in Britain Through Napoleon’s Wars, 1793-1815

The King’s Mistress: Scandal, Intrigue and the True Story of the Woman who Stole the Heart of George I // Claudia Gold

Perdita: The Life of Mary Robinson // Paula Byrne

The Gentleman’s Daughter: Women’s Lives in Georgian England // Amanda Vickery

Terms and Conditions: Life in Girls’ Boarding School, 1939-1979 // Ysenda Maxtone Graham 

Fanny Burney: A Biography // Claire Harman

Aphra Behn: A Secret Life // Janet Todd

The Imperial Harem: Women and the Sovereignty in the Ottoman Empire // Leslie Peirce

The Fall of the House of Byron // Emily Brand

The Favourite: Sarah, Duchess of Marlborough // Ophelia Field

Night-Walking: A Nocturnal History of London // Matthew Beaumont, Will Self

Jane Austen: A Life // Claire Tomalin

Beloved Emma: The Life of Emma, Lady Hamilton // Flora Fraser

Sentimental Murder: Love and Madness in the 18th Century // John Brewer

Henrietta Howard: King’s Mistress, Queen’s Servant // Tracy Borman

City of Beasts: How Animals Shaped Georgian London // Tom Almeroth-Williams

Queen Anne: The Politics of Passion // Anne Somerset 

Charlotte Brontë: A Life // Claire Harman 

Goddess: The Secret Lives of Marilyn Monroe // Anthony Summers

Queer City: Gay London from the Romans to the Present Day // Peter Ackroyd 

Elizabeth I and Her Circle // Susan Doran

African Europeans: An Untold History // Olivette Otele 

Young Romantics: The Shelleys, Byron, and Other Tangled Lives // Daisy Hay

How to Create the Perfect Wife // Wendy Moore

The Sphinx: The Life of Gladys Deacon, Duchess of Marlborough // Hugo Vickers

The Life and Death of Anne Boleyn // Eric Ives

Dancing in the Streets: A History of Collective Joy // Barbara Ehrenreich

A is for Arsenic: The Poisons of Agatha Christie // Kathryn Harkup 

Mistresses: Sex and Scandal at the Court of Charles II // Linda Porter

Female Husbands: A Trans History // Jen Manion

Ladies in Waiting: From the Tudors to the Present Day // Anne Somerset

Ghostland: In Search of a Haunted Country // Edward Parnell 

A Cheesemonger’s History of the British Isles // Ned Palmer

The Butchering Art: Joseph Lister’s Quest to Transform the Grisly World of Victorian Medicine // Lindsey Fitzharris

Medieval Woman: Village Life in the Middle Ages // Ann Baer

The Husband Hunters: Social Climbing in London and New York // Anne de Courcy

The Voices of Nîmes: Women, Sex, and Marriage in Reformation Languedoc // Suzannah Lipscomb

The Daughters of the Winter Queen // Nancy Goldstone

Mad and Bad: Real Heroines of the Regency // Bea Koch

Bess of Hardwick // Mary S. Lovell

The Royal Art of Poison // Eleanor Herman 

The Strangest Family: The Private Lives of George III, Queen Charlotte, and the Hanoverians // Janice Hadlow

Palaces of Pleasure: From Music Halls to the Seaside to Football; How the Victorians Invented Mass Entertainment // Lee Jackson

Favourite books about current social/political issues (?? for lack of a better term)

Feminism, Interrupted: Disrupting Power // Lola Olufemi

Revolting Prostitutes: The Fight for Sex Worker Rights // Molly Smith, Juno Mac

Why I’m No Longer Talking to White People About Race // Reni Eddo-Lodge

Trans Britain: Our Journey from the Shadows // Christine Burns

Me, Not You: The Trouble with Mainstream Feminism // Alison Phipps

Trans Like Me: A Journey For All Of Us // C.N Lester

Brit(Ish): On Race, Identity, and Belonging // Afua Hirsch 

The Brutish Museums: The Benin Bronzes, Colonial Violence, and Cultural Restitution // Dan Hicks

Things No One Will Tell Fat Girls: A Handbook for Unapologetic Living // Jes M. Baker

Hood Feminism: Notes from the Women White Feminists Forgot // Mikki Kendall

Denial: Holocaust History on Trial // Deborah Lipstadt

Yes Means Yes: Visions of Female Sexual Power and a World Without Rape // Jessica Valenti, Jaclyn Friedman

Don’t Touch My Hair // Emma Dabiri

Sister Outsider // Audre Lorde 

Unicorn: The Memoir of a Muslim Drag Queen // Amrou Al-Kadhi

Trans Power // Juno Roche

Breathe: A Letter to My Sons // Imani Perry

The Windrush Betrayal: Exposing the Hostile Environment // Amelia Gentleman

Happy Fat: Taking Up Space in a World That Wants to Shrink You // Sofie Hagen

Diaries, memoirs & letters

The Diary of a Young Girl // Anne Frank

Renia’s Diary: A Young Girl’s Life in the Shadow of the Holocaust // Renia Spiegel 

Writing Home // Alan Bennett

The Diary of Samuel Pepys // Samuel Pepys

Histoire de Ma Vie // Giacomo Casanova

Toast: The Story of a Boy’s Hunger // Nigel Slater

London Journal, 1762-1763 // James Boswell

The Diary of a Bookseller // Shaun Blythell 

Jane Austen’s Letters // edited by Deidre la Faye

H is for Hawk // Helen Mcdonald 

The Salt Path // Raynor Winn

The Glitter and the Gold // Consuelo Vanderbilt, Duchess of Marlborough

Journals and Letters // Fanny Burney

Educated // Tara Westover

Bookworm: A Memoir of Childhood Reading // Lucy Mangan

Why Be Happy When You Could Be Normal? // Jeanette Winterson

A Dutiful Boy // Mohsin Zaidi

Secrets and Lies: The Trials of Christine Keeler // Christine Keeler

800 Years of Women’s Letters // edited by Olga Kenyon

Istanbul // Orhan Pamuk

Henry and June // Anaïs Nin

Historical romance (this is a short list because I’m still fairly new to this genre)

The Bridgerton series // Julia Quinn

One Good Earl Deserves a Lover // Sarah Mclean

Nine Rules to Break When Romancing a Rake // Sarah Mclean

The Lady’s Guide to Celestial Mechanics // Olivia Waite

That Could Be Enough // Alyssa Cole

Unveiled // Courtney Milan

The Craft of Love // EE Ottoman

The Maiden Lane series // Elizabeth Hoyt

An Extraordinary Union // Alyssa Cole

Slightly Dangerous // Mary Balogh

Dangerous Alliance: An Austentacious Romance // Jennieke Cohen

A Fashionable Indulgence // KJ Charles

[brookstonalmanac]

Events 6.12

910 – Battle of Augsburg: The Hungarians defeat the East Frankish army under King Louis the Child, using the famous feigned retreat tactic of the nomadic warriors. 1240 – At the instigation of Louis IX of France, an inter-faith debate, known as the Disputation of Paris, starts between a Christian monk and four rabbis. 1381 – Peasants' Revolt: In England, rebels assemble at Blackheath, just outside London. 1418 – Armagnac–Burgundian Civil War: Parisians slaughter sympathizers of Bernard VII, Count of Armagnac, along with all prisoners, foreign bankers, and students and faculty of the College of Navarre. 1429 – Hundred Years' War: On the second day of the Battle of Jargeau, Joan of Arc leads the French army in their capture of the city and the English commander, William de la Pole, 1st Duke of Suffolk. 1550 – The city of Helsinki, Finland (belonging to Sweden at the time) is founded by King Gustav I of Sweden. 1653 – First Anglo-Dutch War: The Battle of the Gabbard begins, lasting until the following day. 1665 – Thomas Willett is appointed the first mayor of New York City. 1758 – French and Indian War: Siege of Louisbourg: James Wolfe's attack at Louisbourg, Nova Scotia, commences. 1772 – French explorer Marc-Joseph Marion du Fresne and 25 of his men killed by Māori in New Zealand. 1775 – American War of Independence: British general Thomas Gage declares martial law in Massachusetts. The British offer a pardon to all colonists who lay down their arms. There would be only two exceptions to the amnesty: Samuel Adams and John Hancock, if captured, were to be hanged. 1776 – The Virginia Declaration of Rights is adopted. 1798 – Irish Rebellion of 1798: Battle of Ballynahinch. 1817 – The earliest form of bicycle, the dandy horse, is driven by Karl von Drais. 1821 – Badi VII, king of Sennar, surrenders his throne and realm to Isma'il Pasha, general of the Ottoman Empire, ending the existence of that Sudanese kingdom. 1830 – Beginning of the Invasion of Algiers: Thiry-four thousand French soldiers land 27 kilometers west of Algiers, at Sidi Ferruch. 1864 – American Civil War, Overland Campaign: Battle of Cold Harbor: Ulysses S. Grant gives the Confederate forces under Robert E. Lee a victory when he pulls his Union troops from their position at Cold Harbor, Virginia and moves south. 1898 – Philippine Declaration of Independence: General Emilio Aguinaldo declares the Philippines' independence from Spain. 1899 – New Richmond tornado: The eighth deadliest tornado in U.S. history kills 117 people and injures around 200. 1914 – Massacre of Phocaea: Turkish irregulars slaughter 50 to 100 Greeks and expel thousands of others in an ethnic cleansing operation in the Ottoman Empire. 1921 – Mikhail Tukhachevsky orders the use of chemical weapons against the Tambov Rebellion, bringing an end to the peasant uprising. 1935 – A ceasefire is negotiated between Bolivia and Paraguay, ending the Chaco War. 1938 – The Helsinki Olympic Stadium was inaugurated in Töölö, Helsinki, Finland. 1939 – Shooting begins on Paramount Pictures' Dr. Cyclops, the first horror film photographed in three-strip Technicolor. 1939 – The Baseball Hall of Fame opens in Cooperstown, New York. 1940 – World War II: Thirteen thousand British and French troops surrender to Major General Erwin Rommel at Saint-Valery-en-Caux. 1942 – Anne Frank receives a diary for her thirteenth birthday. 1943 – The Holocaust: Germany liquidates the Jewish Ghetto in Brzeżany, Poland (now Berezhany, Ukraine). Around 1,180 Jews are led to the city's old Jewish graveyard and shot. 1944 – World War II: Operation Overlord: American paratroopers of the 101st Airborne Division secure the town of Carentan, Normandy, France. 1954 – Pope Pius XII canonises Dominic Savio, who was 14 years old at the time of his death, as a saint, making him at the time the youngest unmartyred saint in the Roman Catholic Church. In 2017, Francisco and Jacinta Marto, aged ten and nine at the time of their deaths, are declared saints. 1963 – NAACP field secretary Medgar Evers is murdered in front of his home in Jackson, Mississippi by Ku Klux Klan member Byron De La Beckwith during the civil rights movement. 1964 – Anti-apartheid activist and ANC leader Nelson Mandela is sentenced to life in prison for sabotage in South Africa. 1967 – The United States Supreme Court in Loving v. Virginia declares all U.S. state laws which prohibit interracial marriage to be unconstitutional. 1975 – India, Judge Jagmohanlal Sinha of the city of Allahabad ruled that India's Prime Minister Indira Gandhi had used corrupt practices to win her seat in the Indian Parliament, and that she should be banned from holding any public office. Mrs. Gandhi sent word that she refused to resign. 1979 – Bryan Allen wins the second Kremer prize for a man powered flight across the English Channel in the Gossamer Albatross. 1987 – The Central African Republic's former emperor Jean-Bédel Bokassa is sentenced to death for crimes he had committed during his 13-year rule. 1987 – Cold War: At the Brandenburg Gate, U.S. President Ronald Reagan publicly challenges Mikhail Gorbachev to tear down the Berlin Wall. 1988 – Austral Líneas Aéreas Flight 46, a McDonnell Douglas MD-81, crashes short of the runway at Libertador General José de San Martín Airport, killing all 22 people on board. 1990 – Russia Day: The parliament of the Russian Federation formally declares its sovereignty. 1991 – Russians first democratically elected Boris Yeltsin as the President of Russia. 1991 – Kokkadichcholai massacre: The Sri Lankan Army massacres 152 minority Tamil civilians in the village of Kokkadichcholai near the eastern province town of Batticaloa. 1993 – An election takes place in Nigeria and is won by Moshood Kashimawo Olawale Abiola. Its results are later annulled by the military Government of Ibrahim Babangida. 1994 – Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman are murdered outside Simpson's home in Los Angeles. Her estranged husband, O.J. Simpson is later charged with the murders, but is acquitted by a jury. 1997 – Queen Elizabeth II reopens the Globe Theatre in London. 1999 – Kosovo War: Operation Joint Guardian begins when a NATO-led United Nations peacekeeping force (KFor) enters the province of Kosovo in Federal Republic of Yugoslavia. 2009 – Analog television stations (excluding low-powered stations) switch to digital television following the DTV Delay Act. 2009 – A disputed presidential election in Iran leads to wide-ranging local and international protests. 2016 – Forty-nine civilians are killed and 58 others injured in an attack on a gay nightclub in Orlando, Florida; the gunman, Omar Mateen, is killed in a gunfight with police. 2017 – American student Otto Warmbier returns home in a coma after spending 17 months in a North Korean prison and dies a week later. 2018 – United States President Donald Trump and Kim Jong-un of North Korea held the first meeting between leaders of their two countries in Singapore.

[mcheang]

This might be too much to ask, but any chance can I get the wedding from my Prince Diaries request? I want it in detail. If it’s too much, I understand! Just asking!

The prince and the model

Yeah, to get crowned king, Marin needs to marry.

Marin’s reaction: I’m not ready. I only just graduated! I’m still superheroing in Paris!

Adrienne’s reaction: OMG! Marin’s going to propose!

Marin is saddened to realize that this is really it, he won’t be able to fulfill his dream of being a world famous fashion designer beyond having designed stuff for celebrities and having his own website (business had been booming upon his return to Paris)

Adrienne realizes that while she is thrilled to be marrying her prince, said prince is less eager.

Marin apologises but Adrienne understands. All she had ever wanted was freedom, she was already used to rules and proper conduct, and could adjust to royal life. But Marin’s dreams were crashing down. He does love Adrienne but he’s allowed to feel some sadness for the life he could have had.

Adrienne suggests they take a break from all rules until the coronation? Marin is too responsible to do that, he has to attend functions as expected. But he does agree they should have fun while they still can.

Marin proposed to Adrienne at the Trevi Fountain. Imagine a sparkling ring amongst all those sparkling coins. It’s a miracle Marin didn’t toss it into this fountain by accident.

Gabrielle will design the dress of course. But Adrienne asks that her fiancé also assist in the design. At least people will know her future Husband has very good taste in fashion.

During this time, the couple do make public appearances but also make time to just have normal dates since those things are going to harder to come by once Marin is king and his schedule will be even more swamped.

The honeymoon is a trip to China, and for good reason. (I am not writing a fic about honeymoons!)

Marin and Adrienne were determined to end Monarch once and for all. They couldn’t be efficient heroes if they were constantly in Italy. Granted, they had managed to do so in university. It helps that you can skip lectures to watch it online. But Marin was going to be king, with bodyguards 24/7.

The plan was to stop Monarch once and for all before the wedding. And Marin had a good idea how to do so.

At the next akuma Attack, the heroes will draw out the fight for as possible, leaving time for the other kwamis to seek out Monarch. Sure it will be like looking for a needle in a haystack, but they will have Viper turning back time and telling the kwamis where they have already searched.

Sure enough, Kaalki found Monarch and reported her location.

Adrienne was heartbroken but did her duty with Mr Bug. They arrested Gabrielle and Nathan. But in the hope of avoiding international chaos, the authorities and the mayor agreed to let the monks in China deal with the villains.

Adrienne did wear a Gabrielle wedding dress. One of the last pieces since Gabrielle had seemingly decided to retire and disappear after her Daughter had married.

For the honeymoon, Marin and Adrienne made a special visit to the temple to return the miraculous box. It was time to say goodbye to their hero life and greet their royal one.

There were a lot of tearful farewells.

This time it was Marin’s turn to cheer Adrienne up. Thankfully a honeymoon was a really good way to make her happy.

[cupcakecoterie]

@true0neutral - Hazel, half-elf cleric

@fauxfire76 - Darvin, human bard/sorcerer

@miaaoi - Froseth, dragonborn monk

@hyperewok1 - Remi, human paladin/warlock

@lindira - Clarity, tiefling rogue/wizard

Marion - Ava, human ranger

Brian - Barnabus, minotaur fighter

New splash screen - getting all the mileage out of the commission from @ladyzolstice - to go with the adorable etc that is this party.

Going on down the Mining Consortium corridor, Alisaie got hit in the side of the head with a pumpkin pie ... courtesy Alli Sweetwater, who apparently is doing community service under heavy guard, having been booted out of Belarys for awhile after the recent Incident. Alisaie actually suggested sending her up north to learn some caution from the People. Alli Sweetwater was not happy with this idea. Her attempt to escape was thwarted by Darvin later.

They finally met the manager of that particular area of the Kobrea-Val Mining Consortium - one Mr Denebri - a dwarf of very little patience. Mr Denebri offered them a choice of how to get to the Salt Gate, through which they apparently have to pass to get to the dragon’s lair - go through the kobold encampment and deal with the behir that’s lurking in the area, or go through the deep gnome encampment and deal with a purple worm, which ... well, they generally like having something that basically naturally makes mining tunnels, but there are a few too many and that one’s getting mean and too close to habitations, and they need to do a cull. The group decided to go through the Up-and-Under, deep gnome territory, and deal with the purple worm ... as much to refill their personal and party funds as anything else. They may go for the friendly kobold encampment and the behir on the way back, assuming they can put themselves back together after the blue dragon well enough.

The mining cart ‘stations’ have vending machines. That was fun.

They also got to chatting with some of the locals. Barnabus got the Mom Friend sitting next to him. He got cookies. Hazel and Darvin got to hear a bunch of halflings placing bets as to what those adventurers were going to be killing. Froseth had a whole conversation with one of them. That was equally fun! He learned that the natural scientists that study the purple worms in the area have named them. The one they have sent to kill is named Bitey. The others are Squirmy, Digger, and Sue.

Their first stop was Cofferkey, a sort of mining town/city about an hour into the under-cliff territory. It was a bit of a marvel; a sort of art deco situation carved directly into, and out of, the rock, with high-rises carved to double as support pillars and enough light to at least be getting on with. They had a wait for the mining cart to the Up-and-Under, so they decided to stop for lunch and see if they could get some intel.

They found a saloon. Remi asked for drinks. That was it. Just ‘drinks’. She was given drinks. They all did something silly but overall harmless, as Remi noted when her hair started sprouting flowers. Hazel had to try one and turned into a ferret. Clarity followed suit and became pixie-sized. All three of them only had to deal with that for about an hour. Ava was still really pissed and kind of sharp about it, though she did subside when reminded that they just tripped over a cultural irregularity specific to Kobrea-Val; that Egref tended to cater to people not used to the “science is not the answer; science is the question and the answer is always yes” mentality of most of Kobrea-Val because they’re used to tourists but everywhere else, they were going to have to try to follow local customs. That has given Ava much food for thought.

They did finally get to the Up-and-Under, and met the mayor of the deep gnome territory. He guided them to the local saloon where there were apparently scientists who would have more information on them about the purple worm.

They went to the saloon and found two of the natural scientists - a very upright half-orc and a dwarven woman, both dressed in the kind of Steampunk Victorian Dashing Adventurer gear - arguing, with a halfling woman judging their arguments like an Olympic judge, a gnomish gentleman topping up their drinks while they weren’t looking to keep the argument going, and a drow woman who noticed newcomers in the saloon and immediately hid behind a book. They tried to interrupt the argument, and paused it briefly, but every time they brought up ‘purple worm’, the argument started up again. So now they have two weeks to think about how to make them stop arguing or at least aim some of the basic information behind the arguments in a Cupcake-ward direction.

So, yeah, in the new year, they meet Jahaverian Dicio-Esfanderi, Aqulinia Coban-Cinar, Oldwen Shatterstock, Hoxha Golnoosh, and Kaizra Eshraq, a group of travelling natural scientists who refer to themselves as the First Principals. Because even NPC groups need to have puns.

[reblogthiscrapkay]

Staff D&D: Session 12

Cast:

Makaria: Tiefling Grave Cleric (English teacher; me)

Carrion: Tiefling Necromancer (English teacher)

Anastriana: Drow Assassin (Social Studies teacher)

Naivara: Half-Elf Bard (English teacher)

Roskr: Dwarf Barbarian (School Psychologist)

Mr. Snuggles: Halfling Monk (Social Studies teacher)

DM (Science teacher)

Grave Cleric: We could change the meeting to a place we’re aware of? Necromancer: *writing on the fax paper* By the way... Dwarf: Can this meeting be held virtually?

Halfling: While you guys talk about what god to talk to I’m gonna get a drink. Dwarf: So are we just gonna talk to a god in the middle of the street or . . .

Bard: *to St. Cuthbert* I worship you all the time! DM as God: I’m the god of truth. Don’t lie to me. Bard: Damn.

Halfling: Oh yeah! I broke into the mayor’s office and stole the property deeds but then I gave them to Vivicar so he’d let me out of the mind prison. I also kicked the door in so they might be suspicious of me . . . DM: It was either a halfling or a really strong child.

Grave Cleric: WAIT, brainwave everyone! The mayor is gonna come back as a zombie controlled by Vivicar! We saw him dead for sure but we know that Vivicar can control the dead through his mind prison so he’s going to basically use the mayor as a puppet to get whatever laws passed that he wants and basically run the town. And on that note, how many people we’ve encountered are just Vivicar zombies anyway? DM: DAMNIT, KAY! Grave Cleric: PLUS! 4! WISDOM! IN GAME AND REAL LIFE.