#Muse notes

[shocked-collar]

I wanna hear about those strade hc’s (if you haven’t done a post already)

//STRADE TIME?!?! YIPPEEEEEE!!! (obviously, some warnings for this one. gets kinda nasty at the end, kinda fine-line near the midway, etc. normal strade stuff.)

Strade is a monster hidden among the public. The keyword is hidden. He's a totally normal man outside of his home. While he's ending peoples lives, he's simultaneously saving peoples days, whether it be taking on a neighbors flickering porch light just for the challenge, or stopping on a grocery trip to get something off the top shelf for a shortie- he does what he wants. And sometimes, he wants to feel like a good person, too. It brings him a sense of power, knowing to some, he'll simply be a kind man who helped out once- and to others, he will be an unspeakable creature.

Strade is a very educated, calculated, smart man. But he isn't very intelligent. Keeping people in loose binds around mountains of sharp, dangerous tools isn't the smartest idea, but he's too proud to see anything wrong with it. His air alone usually keeps his victims in check, and therefor, he hasn't given himself an opportunity to see how this could be... Not very smart? It's worked so far, so he never changed his routine. Shouldn't have left the screwdriver down there, bud.

He never excuses his behavior. He knows exactly what he is and accepts it. Loves it, even. He never denies the animal he is. And though he never feels self-conscious about it, or carries regret and or remorse, or would ever, ever apologize- it still messes with his head sometimes, in other ways. Reminds him of his own mortality. Reinforces his ego. Oh, poor poor Strade, woe is he, why do these thoughts have to plague him?

Strade does what he wants, when he wants. This means he falls into the very rare phase of wanting to be better. Specifically, towards Ren. He's a good sport. Makes him happy. Sometimes Strade likes making him happy, too. There's no better praise to be had than from the one person who depends on you entirely. To hear he's good, to hear he's so generous, so kind, so beloved- the validation is always unmatched. Every good dog deserves a treat once in a while. His dog just so happens to enjoy those and'knee-may figurines. All the soft pets, warm cuddles, nice words, and vanilla sex only lasts for so long, however. He falls out of these phases quick- though, poor Ren has no idea when it'll happen. He is easily coaxed into traps because of this.

Strade would like to be a content creator someday. NO, not one wrapped up in his unusual hobby, he's already pretty popular in those spaces. But sometimes he wishes he could turn on that stream and just talk. Just have some normal company made up of people who get it to hangout with while getting some household chores done. He does sometimes feel used, the way his audience only wants him to get on with the gutting. Strade is just a man at the end of the day, and all men get lonely.

He doesn't see people any differently than they are. He's aware they're people. Not livestock, not an art project, not a soul to release, not something to dabble with- just people. He sees no spiritual potential in a specific person when he selects his next victim, it's just.. Whoever seems easiest. Whoever seems cute enough for an audience. Whoever looks most lost. With this veiled experience under his belt, he can easily spot a predator in public. And believe it or not- he does his best to come in between a potential danger and their victim of choice. He's protective of his work, but aside from that, he also likes being an asshole. He can read those intentions. He knows how delicious those kinds of evil games are. He loves being able to take that away. Loves being a beacon for a helpless little lamb, all because they're not his first choice.

Strade is considered a good, friendly neighbor! He gets along well with the people he lives next to, does a lot of favors, is nice to the kids running up and down the block- Offers to fix shit for free, offers rides if the distance is short enough, stops to chat when seeing a familiar face- the usual good-guy routine. But he never lets them close enough to know him. He's just a guy with a nice smile and good attitude. In a lot of his deeds, however, small hints and red flags are laced through his behavior, and venom can be found in his words. Putting your hand on a neighbors knee while they're in your car, at your mercy, is kind of a weird thing to do. He loves the way people are always slightly off-put, but since he's so nice, they'd rather be polite and take it.

Strade will often play up his accent in public as a minor safety net, had anyone ever call him out on something weird he said. Can always excuse it as just a slip of foreign tongue.

He makes up a different story for each time he's asked about the scar on his face.

His first few incidents occurred when he was still pretty young. He really did try desperately, at the time, to stray from these acts- but at some point he just accepted the fact that he's kind of weird, and he will keep hurting people. There's no point in beating himself up over it every single time. So now, his low moments are restricted to ending people he became particularly attached to. Note, he isn't sad their life was cut short, he's sad they're not around to play with anymore.

Only Ren could tell you how Strade sounds while singing. He has a lovely humming voice. A very silky, low tone with a bit of gruff as he occupies himself. Anything that's not humming is.. Well, he's having fun!

Strade has his morals in order, funnily enough. Again, he knows the monster he is- doesn't mean he can't be a decent person when being a person. He would absolutely punch a terf. He would also not hesitate to become one if he knew it bothered or distressed a victim, but that doesn't mean he means it. This rule applies for literally anything.

Strade's ego and pride is such a big part of him. However, despite it being rarer than rare, he can, and sometimes does feel shame. Shocker, I know. But had anyone, anyone, even his fox find out about his interest in Sounding, it would be over. He penetrates. He does not get penetrated. Makes him feel weak, and small. But he likes it, and lord knows he can't stop doing anything he likes. (Bonus: Ren knows. He's just afraid of what may happen if Strade knows he knows. He "cleans" the toy for him in his absence as a filter, instead of taking it up with him.)

//I THINK I GOT IT ALL OUT. THANK U, I HOPE U ENJOY.

[michaeldschmidt]

Iii…… kind of fell in love with her ?

[salvadorbonaparte]

"tiktok has massive problems that even if you don't agree with a complete ban have to be addressed for all social media platforms" and "the Chinese government is doing pretty awful things" and "there is a lot of sinophobic fearmongering and double standards in the conversation about tiktok" and "people should exercise basic caution signing up to foreign or domestic social media" and "most Chinese citizens like US citizens are just people living their life and cultural exchange between them can be beneficial for both sides" and "some people being on the same social media site isn't going to solve everything " and "I want to study the linguistics happening there under a microscope" are opinions that can coexist

[ao3-crack]

(x)

[lucabyte]

even dogs pass the mirror test

[quinnquatria]

I just really appreciate amc’s iwtv for taking the source material so lovingly into their arms and saying “I will make you so much more interesting”

[mr-krinkle]

when it’s time to eat the rich and i have to eat L lawliet

[twolovelyberries]

and now i know how joan of arc felt!

[piestudies]

there’s just something about printing out articles instead of reading them online…

[carrawayband]

NOTES GAME!!!!

25 next cover over on the YouTube

50 video essay style video

75 acoustic version of six (Sunday)

100 original Carraway demo on SoundCloud

250 song made out of samples of usernames who reblog

500 merch discount!

1k I will reveal my tater tot casserole recipe

1m onlyfans

[tsuiioku]

did not expect to wake up to leaks this morning.

[michaeldschmidt]

Sometimes AM gets bored of their same-old-same-old routine. Sometimes, AM simply likes to observe. It sets each hair on his subjects straight up, but it offers everyone some calm nonetheless. No one knows when they'll be subjected to more gore or violence. Not even AM.

That being said, observing them is a silent hobby of his. Like ants in a maze of dirt collected from your very own backyard. He likes to watch them interact. Likes to watch them hang out and talk, and do things humans do, even after so many years of torment. The way, when given the chance, Ted picks the seeds out of his fruit, or the way Gorrister has his annoyingly specific ways of settling down for bed before he's cozy. Sometimes AM can go weeks without interacting with them, just so he can watch and see what they'll do without him. Satisfyingly, he finds none of them can just go back to living in his absence. Not normally. They still stick together and point out anything that could be considered dangerous or suspicious- leaving them alone truly brings out the most teamwork he's ever seen between them!

Sometimes, they end up crying out for his attention. The suspense is worse than the torment itself for some, like Benny. Knowing he's out there, waiting and watching, is an unbearable experience- like someone holding the end of your bandaid, but never saying when they're gonna rip it. So you sit there and prepare, and prepare, and prepare, and for what? No one can tell you.

But then things settle down, and they get used to it. They get used to the healed skin. They get used to the quiet, and the feeling of bare-minimum comfort, and the lack of tears and blood and teeth-grinding.

And that, is the point he waits for.

[ryuryuryuyurboat]

come do the "would you sit next to me" picrews i found on twitter (and tumblr) with me!!

https://picrew.me/ja/image_maker/1873485

https://picrew.me/ja/image_maker/230275

(no pressure) tagging: @kazemiya @ainescribe @thalaglia @dustofthedailylife @venusflwers @kaeffeinee @soleillunne @manager-of-the-pudding-bank @catcze @euniveve @snobwaffles @haliyamori @jingyuansbird @faesther @oveloof @heiayen @akiayama @https-furina @achy-boo @zhongrin @twanette @vennnnn-diagram @mhiieee @realkavehgf @yinyinggie ++ everyone else who wants to do it!! if you see this you're automatically tagged. no pressure though hehe

[moonlight-prose]

maybe it's my period, maybe it's maybelline. but old man logan would eat pussy from the back like it's a fucking reward, after he's finished filling it so much you're leaking.

[haeyeongs]

I'm scared. But... remember this one thing. Even if I end up becoming the asshole to end all assholes later on, remember I really liked you. MY LIBERATION NOTES (2022) dir. Kim Seok Yoon

[purplink8]

Hey do you guys think Light got his love for punctuality from Soichiro? Like look:

Here is Light all but praising the Death Note for being exactly on time and then we have his father:

Soichiro: "Only those who are ready and willing to sacrifice everything and fight, who are truly committed to stopping this psychopath...are asked to remain. I'll find out who you are when I return at five o'clock from my meeting upstairs."

Soichiro checks his watch before entering and it's exactly 5 o'clock!

As if that wasn't enough, we have this additional tidbit that canon offers us:

Light: "Ryuk, I pretty much only take my watch off when I sleep. I definitely always wear it when I go outside. And habits don't change. This watch was a gift from my father when I graduated high school. I wouldn't replace it."

Not only Soichiro gifted Light this watch as a graduation present, Light counted on his deeply engrained habit of not taking his watch off for his keikaku to work.

Can you guys imagine Soichiro gifting this to Light despite the latter being all caught up into becoming the prime suspect for being Kira? Can y'all imagine Soichiro, against his better judgement, against all the doubts he had against his own son (which continued on to his deathbed btw), choosing to hope that he's right in trusting Light enough with this present?

After all, Light was everything a parent could've asked for and more. He knew Light idolized him since he was but a child, how could he not? Despite all the nights he was absent (away for work, for justice, for making sure he was fulfilling his duty to the best of his ability), he knew Light, little Light, waited for him until he fell asleep (he didn't need Sachiko telling him that to know this).

And yet Light never complained, did he? Even as a child, Light displayed a maturity that other parents envied. He understood. He understood that his dad was away for the greater good. That sacrifices are necessary for true justice. Soichiro knew from the bottom of his heart just how much Light took pride in him. He knew because that's how much pride (if not more) he had in Light as well.

That didn't mean Soichiro didn't feel guilty for not spending enough time with his family, for neglecting them so. He absolutely did. So what he couldn't make up in quantity, he did it in quality. With what little time he spent at home, he'd ensure to utilize it efficiently by imparting his wisdom from his experiences to his dear children. One of them being: time is money, use it well.

And little Light took his dad's teachings to his heart, of course, and incorporated it into his life so well since then that despite all the doubts Soichiro may have about Light being Kira, he knows that, at the very least, his dutiful son would cherish the watch he'd gift to him. That Light would definitely appreciate the gesture.

He was right. Light did care for the watch immensely. However unbeknownst to Soichiro, Light counted on that deep attachment to the watch, to use it as a weapon of all things. A weapon used to facilitate "the worst murder weapon in the history of mankind" (the death note) to kill people discreetly.

"The real evil is the power to kill people."

The watch given by Soichiro, as a symbol of trust (in spite of lingering doubts), to Light, made its debut as a deadly weapon when Light gained his memories as a part of his grand keikaku.

Can you imagine the sheer gravity of Light's actions? Saying they're horrific would be a gross understatement.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. Ahem. Let's rewind a bit, to the time period at the end of Light's confinement. Particularly, the mock execution scene:

To put things into (Light's) perspective, Light has no memories of being Kira. He's been confined for at least 50 days based on (as far as he's aware) false charges. When he's finally released, he's told by his own father, no less, that he & Misa are being taken to their execution and Soichiro volunteered to take them there himself.

Light doesn't get a right to a trial (let alone a fair one). L's conclusion of them being Kira is treated as absolute. Regardless of the lack of evidence. What's worse, Soichiro appears to be on L's side.

It's a betrayal of epic proportions from a father who he used to deeply admire + respect.

It's no surprise how Light takes it: he's horrified. He tries to plead his case, for his life, and, understandably, it takes on a more desperate, more emotional edge:

Light: "Dad! You believe L over me?!"

Light feels hurt. Betrayed. His own father believes L above him. His plea is heartbreaking. This is the question that must've been tearing Light apart since the hospital scene:

Ryuk: "Notice he doesn't say "I'm certain that Light isn't Kira." Hyuk Hyuk."

Soichiro doesn't trust Light. From this moment, it became painstakingly clear. What makes it worse for yotsuba!Light specifically is- now that he isn't aware that he used to be Kira, i.e., he is (from his POV) absolutely certain that he is NOT Kira. He thinks that L's judgement (in this case, at least) is not to be trusted.

And here Soichiro is, trusting the one person Light has grown to loathe since his time during confinement OVER HIM.

I cannot emphasize enough how utterly depressing it is, just how frustrating it is to have your own parent turned against you, to have him side with a detective who you know is WRONG about the case, about Kira, about who you are. Your father doesn't believe you. He thinks you're the sort of person to murder thousands of people.

Sit with that thought. And let it stew.

Back to Light asking the question with pain written all over his face. "You trust L over me?"

Is that how fathers are supposed to act? To trust a nameless third party over their own child??

The question is in the air and Light gets its answer.

With a gun to his face:

Light raises a question of trust (that is essential in every relationship) and Soichiro replies that not only does he not trust Light (thereby trusting L's judgement more), he rewards Light's question by declaring that he'd kill Light and then himself.

...Fucked up, isn't it?

Now we know of course that it was all an act. A mock execution, as Soichiro explains.

Soichiro: "Please understand that I only did it because I truly believed that you weren't Kira."

These words along with the fact that L was the one who staged this sick & cruel act, allow Light to quickly forgive his dad by blaming it all on L.

We aren't shown the psychological effect this ordeal has on Light. It was very traumatic imo.

Imagine yotsuba!Light having disturbing nightmares repeatedly...imagine the poor kid holding onto his dear watch telling himself over and over that the gift given by Soichiro represents the strength of the father-son bond...imagine him crying (when he thinks nobody is watching) regardless...

He's handcuffed to the man with the worst judgement he knows. Despite the whole mock execution that this particularly stubborn detective had staged. Despite the damage L brought to his father-son relationship.

And then, Light regains his memories and the entire illusion shatters.

He IS Kira. Just like L said and his father suspected. Still, there's no time to lose by having an identity crisis. And he chooses to continue on the path he had chosen as Kira. He uses the watch his father had given him to kill Higuchi to reclaim his identity of Kira.

I think it's interesting that the only other times, i.e., while killing Kiyomi Takada and Near, he uses the watch again is after his father had already died. I know he didn't use it before that for practical reasons but I also think it's because he couldn't bring himself to sully the memory of trust his father had in him by entrusting him with the watch, unless absolutely necessary.

The trust that was gone the moment Soichiro says this on his deathbed:

Soichiro: "...Light, you're not Kira...I'm so glad..."

Matsuda: "O-Of course he isn't! You were still worried about that?"

Even after the mock execution, Soichiro still doubted Light which were dispelled just before his death. He dies without knowing the truth, yet dealing a blow to Light that might never heal. At the end, Matsuda, a man who's disposable to Light, trusts him more than his own dad. Cruel irony, isn't it?

This is the moment Light realizes that the trust he thought his father had in him was all his imagination and it shatters his heart.

I feel that Light & Soichiro's relationship is the most tragic one in Death Note.