#On those days I can't quite make it on time‚ maybe I will post a very tiny drawing... like the size of a molecule. (>▽< o)

[icewindandboringhorror]

Pictures and things

[buttercup-barf]

Under the cut are mostly self-insert doodles of decreasing quality. Again, not much directly tied to Team Fortress 2. Might as well toss these out while I have no access to my puter. Much yapping under the cut and in the tags incoming.

Another self-insert, this time less of a "here's me as a tenth class" and more of a "here's my game experiences translated into the class I would take the place of". The Cleaner. Although I guess they could still be wearing either suit. It doesn't matter that much.

That one Convict's Case taunt with Backup would be extremely funny, because the man would be on the verge of a breakdown (he does not want to go to jail so bad you have no idea). The second image- I owe no explanation. You know what I am. You see the pattern with my favourites.

The duality of the man. Resting face versus "just heard you express interest in religion/Russian folklore" face. He's not that hard to make friends with, when you pull him away from all the explosions.

Some doodles of trying to figure his face out. Unfortunately, the more I stare at him, the more I worry that he looks like A Certain Guy With The Last Name "Kazarin", and the fear of never being original in my life caught up to me.

Don't look at me, don't perceive me, I refuse to explain any of my actions to you.

[jinglejails]

My goal is to post at least one drawing a month! Maybe I won't succeed, but maybe I will. I sure hope I do! It's not much, but it's somethin'! Who knows—maybe I'll go crazytown n' post two once in a while. ｡ﾟ･(>▽< o)

Anyway, I'll try my best. Even if I fail, I will still try my best!

Wish me luck! Wishin' you luck on your goals, too! : >)

[dwaekkicidal]

Nonsexual Dominance with SKZ

wc» 1.1k

cw» gender neutral, d/s dynamics, dom!skz & sub!reader, trad!minho, sfw but some people might see some things as controlling or toxic- it's not meant to be and this is based off a MUTUAL agreement + set boundaries. if you dont like dont interact <3

txt version

DO NOT republish or translate+post my work!

𝙱𝚊𝚗𝚐 𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚗

Makes you send him food pics regularly. On days where you genuinely don't want to, he won't push it, but for the most part he enforces it and will be upset if you don't send a pic. And this is only really because it means you didn't eat.

He loves it not only for the obvious reason of watching over you even when he's not around, but also because it reminds him to also eat. All those hours in the studio blur and it's only a matter of time before he completely loses track of time- but you and your meals are there to remind him :)

𝙻𝚎𝚎 𝙺𝚗𝚘𝚠

Ok hear me out, traditional husband!minho... If you don't want it, he won't push it but it works so well,,, If it's far enough into the relationship that the trust comes naturally, he'd sit you down to discuss your opinions on you staying at home all day and quitting your job and putting all the financial burden on him- because he wants that responsibility. He wants to take care of you so extremely.

The pleasure dom in him comes out specifically outside of the bedroom. He absolutely loves cooking for you and spoiling you with extravagant dinners & expensive gifts, and he loves just holding you close just because he can, but he expects you to do everything else in the house- or at least most of it. While he's willing to compromise certain chores, he wants to come home to the house being clean and clothes being washed and all that.

But he always makes it worth your while and spoils you rotten :( Cuddles you until you're absolutely sick of him (not) and tries to take you out on regular dates to spoil you (like while shopping at the mall or taking you out to a nice dinner)

𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚋𝚒𝚗

Might sound kind of weird but hear me out- him telling you "no." I think Chris is one that would love to do this but has NO self control and therefore can't bring himself to unless he absolutely has to lol. But Changbin thrives off of it.

Don't get him wrong- he looves to spoil you. But he also loves that little spark in your eyes when you bat your eyelashes at him so prettily and ask him for something- only for you to get a gentle but firm "no" that makes your bottom lip puff out. & It's not that he doesn't want you to have whatever this thing is, it's more so that he knows there's a limit to being spoiled and no matter how much he loves you, you both need an occasional humbling- and he feels like you both could use a soft reminder of who let who have all the control

He'll always make up for it with sweet kisses and maybe a little tickling to make your pout go away, but his chest puffs out a little every time he gets to tell you "no"

𝙷𝚢𝚞𝚗𝚓𝚒𝚗

Is the kind to having his hand on your body at all times, if you're more than an arms length away from him you'll be getting a certain look that discreetly reads "Get over here now." Sometimes will even curl his finger up in your direction- doesn't care if somebody is watching or even if he's in the middle of talking/an important conversation

He just likes to have you close, and he knows he needs that mental grounding that you offer more often than not. He's just confident about needing it, so he's not afraid to show everybody how much he loves you and needs you by his side

That being said, he will lead you around malls, museums, grocery stores, or hell even the other boy's apartments all with his hand either intertwined with yours or on some part of your body (usually your lower back) that lets him guide you around.

𝙷𝚊𝚗

He felt a little awkward at first bringing this up to you, but now that it's become a regular part of your routine, he lives for these moments: he loves when you sit pretty on his lap and shave his face for him. It's gotten to the point where he will refuse to shave himself at all for weeks on end if you aren't able to do it for him.

It makes him feel a bit more dominant than it should? considering he will see you have free time and point out that he needs a shave- which usually has you dropping everything to go do it for him. But he also sees it as him being loyal to you and you having an equal amount of "control" on his life. (Also you will catch him dead before you catch him complaining about his lover sitting in his lap for any amount of time lol)

Generally just domestic little acts of service that let him "command" you while also letting you have control over his life (that's really only obvious to you two, but that's more than enough for him)

𝙵𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚡

Doesn't realize he likes it right away, but he loves to talk for you with strangers. He loves to order your food for you, order your coffee for you (sometimes even mobile ordering it so you don't have to talk to people if he's not available), carrying your clothes for you while you shop and being the one talking at the cash register- stuff like that.

Not only does this scratch that little dom itch in the back of his head because he's taking care of you while still being in "charge", but it also allows him to spoil the hell out of you with you knowing how much money he's spending on you lol. You get to sit pretty at his side and look at/play with the little trinkets by the register while he drops literal hundreds on you with a smile on his face.

𝚂𝚎𝚞𝚗𝚐𝚖𝚒𝚗

Sorry not sorry but he loves his non sexual punishments. No matter what you do in or out of the bedroom, he can and will find a way to punish you for it without having to lay a finger on you.

One of his favorites is making you write a sentence down over and over again. Kinda cliché "teacher" punishment but it usually gets his point across and prevents you from acting out (for like a week max lol). If he's particularly annoyed at you/frustrated he will make you write it in Korean & wont translate it for you more than once lol.

Another one he really likes is making you kneel on the floor instead of on the couch. He's not really huge on forbidding you from watching tv unless you want him to go that far, but you're not gonna be allowed to sit on the soft, comfy couch- you're gonna be kneeling on the floor, most likely by his leg so you can still cuddle up to him (he'll grant you a small pillow if it's a longer punishment)

𝙸.𝙽

Jeongin loves picking your outfits and your accessories for you. He's not usually too dominant out of the bedroom otherwise, and it's very rare that he is, but this is the main way he is.

Even before you two lived together, he would text you a grossly sweet good morning message and would include a comment about how you should send him a few outfits for him to choose from you to wear. But now that you guys are living together, he takes it upon himself to pick out an outfit for you while you're still in bed or in the bathroom waking up.

Taglist: (red=can't be tagged)

@valkyriexo @lunearta @jabmastersupriseee @rylea08

@yaorzu-blog @amararosesblog @jiminssluttyminx @clemissleepy

@miss-daisy04 @kittyxnoa @dwaekkiiracha @honeyybbuubblleess

@mariteez @fun-fanfics @honeyybbuubblleess @kittycatkrissa

@nicora04 @chuuyaobsessed @moonlightndaydreams @velvetmoonlght

@aeri-skzver

[kira-loves0905]

>> My Wedding Vow Is To Divorce You (One-Shot)

— what if you had the guts to break up with Zayne? the loverman who is still smitten on a dead woman. the one who will never love you the way you do to him?

warnings: 3rd POV, fast-paced, unrequited love, angst/no comfort, mentions of divorce, married life, rebound, non MC!reader, mentions of pregnancy, ooc Zayne, mentions of Xavier, not proofread 🥹 i wrote this on a whim cause i've been feeling upset these days

"—your guardian in fate seems to have mistaken your current lover to be yours. a star has already been made to be his, one that is still connected to his soul despite its star being all but fray. you ought to find your own star, else your heart will turn to stone."

she could only repeat the words in their mind over and over. yet she also berated herself for even paying hunderds of her money to listen on a traveling shaman, allured by its mysterious facade and enticing marketing.

(Name) could've win a medal for their patience. a woman persevering on a void relationship for twelve years? she could be a popular Reddit post if she ever voiced out her dilemna to the world. seeing themselves being shunned, mind breaking down with insecurities that grew over the years.

twelve years ago, a mission went astray. Miss Hunter was in a serious accident that had her experience multiple rounds of surgery. it was to no one's surprise that Zayne took over all of it. despite the long hours of gruel work, his feet numb from the relentless days of standing upright— he pushed through.

in Dr. Zayne's hands, she survived, albeit barely.

at this point, everyone subconsciously knew that Zayne was inlove with Miss Hunter. even if he didn't voice it out, his action spoke words that he can't utter himself. the way his rough, cold edges softened and began to illuminate warmth that was never seen before.

(but (Name) did. she experienced the warmth of his touch when the night was young. when MC still wasn't back to his life yet as his patient. when it was just the both of them, growing up as childhood friends and into medical school in dreams of becoming coworkers of the same field.)

that same warmth Zayne reserved for MC disappeared once more, when she died in her comatose.

it was quite expected, really. there was just a slim chance of MC ever waking up after the severe injury she had on the mission. (Name) knew that it was bound to happen, even in Dr. Zayne's care.

but to him? to the man that dreamed of her in every aspect of his life? the same person who pursued cardiology just for her protocore heart? to a man that yearned for MC's love that even just a glimpse of her was enough to satiate his boundless yearning self?

he was in shambles. utterly broken and gripping the bits of fragments the dead woman has before it all disappears.

suffice to say, those twelve years ago. (Name) took the gruelling case of taking care of Zayne. even when her arms grew numb from the long hours of hug she gave him, or when her voice went hoarse from the time she kept whispering comforting words to his ear. hoping that, for even a moment, she can be someone who can manage to chip down the cold wall he was starting to build around himself again.

well, she surmises that maybe she achieved her goal.

for in that same twelve years ago, Zayne married (Name). in that month, she deliberately ignored the hushed whispers of everyone she passes by.

a rebound, is what they say.

she knows that— feels that, but to accept it is a different case altogether.

(when they make love, she sees the way he forces his lips shut. for Zayne knows, subconsciously— that when he lets it loose, it would be another woman's name that spills on his sinful lips.

Miss Hunter.)

— — —

"love." in the night of silence, where birds go to sleep and the skies began to darken. Zayne carefully mutters his call. by the field of grass and flowers, they held their hands passionately. their skin basking in each other's warmth— fighting off the coldness of the wind.

for the nth time, (Name) tries to mask the way his petname stings ironically.

twelve years ago, it made her heart flutter. made her feel like a special (rebound) person. but honeymoon phase was long over, hearing it numerous times in that dead tone of his was sickening now.

"yes, Zayne?"

"it's her death anniversary tomorrow." he says, his eyes faraway. "I want to visit her tombstone alone, is that alright-"

"I know," she says seamlessly, as if the words were already wired in her brain. "say hello to her for me, yeah?"

".....mhm."

a beat of silence.

before long, Zayne dragged her back to the car by their joined hands. (Name) knew by then that there wouldn't be any more conversation until the next morning.

(this was so wrong. she knows. staying for a person that hadn't even given the same love she had given for twelve years.

ridiculously, it was just around this time that she had realized that.)

— — —

in the whole week of MC's death anniversary, the house was colder than usual. the presence of her husband unseen as he drowned himself in his work. a ritual he religiously practiced countless of times in this particular time of the year.

(Name) sat by the living room. papers scattered at the coffee table. her brows furrowed in concentration. the documents were unfamiliar, yet she forces herself to read all of texts in the page. honing in the information before proceeding in its entirety.

divorce papers.

it has been hidden in her closet for the past week. this was the only time she had the courage to finally work on it.

(because every year, with no fail, she kept dreaming that someday he'll start to love her for her. that the illusion of MC Zayne had adorned (Name) would dissipate. one day, they could live happily as a genuine husband and wife.

maybe she should've done this on the 3rd year. but a beggar for love had no choice but to cling on hope.)

"what are you doing?"

odd. he doesn't come home this early.

(Name) fumbles the papers in a hasty stack. trying to hide it before he sees its contents.

"how futile." his steps were quick, gripping her wrist in a tight hold. Zayne's irises flee over to the papers, pushing his glasses higher with his free hand.

"I see," he drawls, "you finally realized how defective this marriage is."

"don't start, Zayne." for once in her life, she managed to stare at him head on. "if I remember correctly, you initiated this."

"and yet," there was a huff as he walks closer. tilting his head with a hint of wicked mirth. "you had the right to deny so."

"you knew I loved you from the start!"

"and you knew that my heart was always with her. no matter how hard you try to earn it."

(Name) stopped in her fit of anger, eyes flickering with emotions akin to hurt. Zayne was right anyway, it was her fault she got into this mess. her shortcoming for being a fool for love.

"did I.. ever mean anything to you?" they were having a proper conversation for the first time in their marriage. she might as well take advantage of it.

"you were a mere friend," he says, as if a pang of nostalgia hit him for a brief moment, "a company when I studied in medical school."

"I repeat what I said, MC was the only one for me."

"nothing else?" desperate. she's desperate. spiralling. "nothing more? not even once in your life—"

"not even in the 12 years we've lived under the same roof?!"

"(Name)." his voice rumbles in a subtle warning. one that made their house way colder than it had ever been.

"you ought to accept it now." he picked up the papers once more, a pen in his hand already.

she looked incredelously at his attitude, on how dismissive he was to her— to her feelings. the treatment wasn't new, but being slapped about it in the face is.

"fine." she snatched the paper in his hands right after he signed it. "I'll see you in court, I hope you live a lovely life."

— — —

a few months later..

(Name) thought she would be utterly miserable after the divorce. twelve years is a long time after all. the home she once lived in was her safe space, even when the owner of it isn't.

her eyes flicker to the heaps of boxes in her new apartment. a fresh start of her life.

she was starting to heal against the wounds she bear. looking back, she regretted wasting her life on Zayne that didn't reciprocate the way she felt about him.

but alas, she can't continue to mull over spilled milk. it had already happened, she can't change any of her mistakes no matter how much she wanted to.

(Name) absent-mindedly caressed her stomach. looking down at the bundle of life that will soon become her joy, despite the guilt of a babe living their life without a biological father.

she knew about her pregnancy a few days after she grabbed her things from Zayne's place. it was an utter shock to carry that man's child. after all the things she had gone through because of him.

the baby is blameless though, in her eyes. she won't leave them to grow alone and unloved like her.

knock knock

"Ms. Name?"

she turns around and opens the door, a polite smile on her lips.

"ah, you must be my neighbor. Xavier, right?"

"yes," the man nods, rubbing their eyes as they yawned. "I heard it was a tradition to make something for a newcomer. so I made some cookies, if you don't mind."

(Name)'s gaze shifted down to the small bag in his hand. the clear plastic making the..... delicious.. (charcoaled) cookies see-through.

she suppresses a chuckle, smiling politely.

"come on in, I'd welcome some company."

stress-free life it is.

[mondaymelon]

₊⊹ … ALMIGHTY DRAGONLORD K'UHUL AJAW AND TWO CLUELESS MORONS | kinich x gn!reader

— in which ajaw tends to interrupt kisses. and ruin moments.

— this took way too long to get out, winner of this poll w 458 votes .. includes pre + post getting together, kinich does bite , i love ajaw

recently, the little pixelated... thing that called itself "almighty dragonlord k'uhul ajaw" had proved to be quite troublesome.

and it wasn't just in your love affairs with malipo kinich; ajaw took it upon himself to make not a single second of your day silent.

"i'm nOT forigiving you for this you... you... you- aGH, NEVERMIND! you're literally HOGGING kinich's attention so like.. screw off already!!"

needless to say, it seemed that ajaw was a jealous individual. you'd heard a thing or two about him from kinich, though rather.. unsavory things: irrelevant tidbits, a nonchalant little comment of "i forgot to mention, he'll take over my body when i die, so he constantly wishes for my misfortune."

oh yeah, like that was totally normal.

then, perhaps ajaw's jealousy wasn't unfounded — you "owned" kinich more than he ever would, lol. funnily enough, the way the two of you had met was purely due to ajaw, so if anything, he didn't have the right to complain.

from what kinich told you later on, he had been on some bounty mission for a troupe of ragtag saurian poachers, and had swung by to check grappling indents on the cliffside when ajaw spotted an adventurer scaling the rock. doing what he does best — causing a celestial fuck of a racket — he hovered over, preaching about how "real adventurers don't use equipment" and to "drop everything to show your bravery" ... after a proper talking to, kinich met with you to convey a formal apology.

at the time, you didn't know such a professional relationship would develop into something more.

"he's bothering you again? i'll scold him..."

kinich's voice was quiet, his head settled in your lap, one hand gently circling your wrist. you slowly ran a hand through his hair, released from its typical headband-style. soft, it was fluffy to the touch, and you heard kinich hum in content, bringing his hands up to caress your face — a silent request for a kiss.

and how could you resist? there was something in that gaze that seemed so pleading, so intimate-

"you ICKY ICKY LovEBIRDS !! FOR THE LOVE OF- GET A ROOM!!"

kinich withdrew his hands with a scowl, lips pressing into a thin line. "... read the room, ajaw."

"this almighty dragonlord is not going to witness a k-kis- grOSS, i can't even SAY it...!!"

"..."

kinich seemed to consider something, very briefly.

then, he grabbed the sputtering pixel-dragon forcefully, smothering ajaw's face with a gloved hand. watching in awe and feeling thoroughly entertained, you heard indignant shouts grow muffled.. and just like that, ajaw shut up for the first time in over a decade. historical.

your lover leaned forward, angling his head to the side to press a chaste little kiss into your neck. like he had flipped a switch, he grazed his teeth lightly against your skin, nipping at it first, though not hard enough to draw blood, then biting at it.

"ouch, are you trying to leave a mark? what's with you?"

"shush." he spoke with his face flush to your neck, kissing a small trail up your neck and onto your jaw as if in apology. "i'm merely claiming what's mine."

and there ajaw floated, suffocated and forgotten. "..hell, are those two SERIOUSLY making out ?? when im literally rIGHT HERE!?"

(a/n) ajaw is so detestable i love him if possible i think id want to pinch his pixel cheeks. anyway "so call me maybe" is up next w "so cradle these wings" after, they were supposed to be sorta related but i don't the release order matters so :p

[ tags: ] @manager-of-the-pudding-bank, @iamdedinside, @ilyuu-archive, @falors, @swivy123, @scara-is-my-wife, @lupicalbestwolf, @justyoureader,@fiannee, @aether-darling, @aioniela, @avensuersa, @dainsleif-when-playable, @intpessimistic

( dm or comment to be added ! i might miss ur comment so just to be sure, leave a comment on the actual masterlists page on my pinned ^ ^ )

[jakesimfromstatefarm]

fine line ── l. hs (teaser!)

update: this fic's been posted! click here to read <3

↳ summary ── heesung's got two problems: (1) he can't sleep, and (2) he's addicted to the 1AM combo of instant ramyeon and coffee milk from his favorite convenience store around the corner. the only thing more consistent than his insomnia? his nightly visits for his beloved snacks (and maybe to glare at the new night shift employee, too). & pstt, spoiler alert: you're the said new night shift employee. and you don't know what's worse: his weird food choices or his apparent superiority complex. either way, if you have to watch him inhale another bowl like it's his last meal ever, you might lose it. but hey, you know what they say—there’s a fine line between love and hate...

↳ pairing ── heeseung x f!reader

↳ genre ── idol!heeseung, e2l!au, strangers to lovers!au || crack, fluff, teensy bit of angst because a certain someone doesn't know how to communicate their feelings...

↳ addie's ✉ .ᐟ ── haii everyone it's been a long time coming...i've been having a MAJOR writer's block and also just kinda taking a break because work has been more tiring on my body so i've just been exhausted recently so i apologize for the lack of content,,,but WE'RE BACK! if anyone's ever watched backstreet rookie (it's my comfort show i love kim yoo-jung), i'm kinda going for those romcom vibes here hehe. this sneak peek isn't as revealing as my others,,,it's quite short but this one is gonna be a lil more rom-com mixed with eventual angst because what is heeseung if not a yearner?

send me an ask/comment if you'd like to be tagged !!! <3 (current tag list at end of post :D )

snippet under the cut!!

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・

“So…do you actually enjoy these together, or are you just trying to destroy your stomach lining?” 

He freezes. Great, you’re talking. So much for a perfect night. 

He adjusts his cap to peer at you and the same unimpressed, judgemental look sitting on your face as you lean against the counter behind you. “What’s wrong with my choices?” 

Your eyebrows shoot up, “What right with them? This combo screams, ‘I have unresolved issues I’m trying to boil away with spice and sugar.’” 

Okay, ouch. 

Heeseung narrows his eyes, trying to ignore the weird pinch in his chest at how quickly you read him, whether he likes to admit it or not. 

“I like them. That’s all that matters,” his voice drips with a certain sharpness, hoping the edge in his tone is enough to make you back off. 

You, however, seem entirely unfazed.

“Just trying to help—” you shrug as you scan his items, “looking out for your poor taste buds.” 

For a moment, Heeseung considers firing back, but then his gaze catches yours for a millisecond too long as you take his cash and, immediately, he’s wondering—for the hundredth time—if you know. 

Do you recognize him? 

The thought has been gnawing at him since the first time he stepped into this store and saw you sitting there five days ago. Sure, he’s got his identity pretty much concealed under his borderline clinically insane hat-mask-hoodie combo, but still—most people at least give him a double take, a lingering glance. Something. 

But you? Nothing. No flash of recognition. No curiosity. Nothing to indicate you know you’re talking to Lee Heeseung—part idol, part insomniac, 100% ramen enthusiast. 

And for some reason, that both annoys and intrigues him. 

“Thanks for your concern,” Heeseung mumbles dryly, quickly grabbing the ramen cup and cold drink from your hands. 

“No problem,” you chirp just as sarcastically, an annoying smile on your face. “Enjoy your…uh, gourmet meal.”

Heeseung throws you one last glare before shaking his head and stalking off to the self-serve station. He puts the cup down on the counter with a little more force than necessary and pours boiling water over the noodles, glaring into the steam as your voice rings in his head. 

What’s wrong with ramen and coffee milk? He scowls. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. And I definitely don’t have unresolved issues. 

But as he steals a glance back at the check-out counter and catches you sorting bills like nothing happened, a weird unease settles in his chest. 

He looks down at this ramen, then at the coffee milk. 

For the first time ever, he feels…self-conscious. 

And now you’re in his head. 

Great. 

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・

this made me crave ramen.

let me know if you'd like to be tagged :)

<3, addie

current tag list: [bolded couldn't be tagged, sorry :( ]

@xylatox @vivimura @leehsngs @puma-riki @lezzleeferguson-120 @enhaprettystars @laurradoesloveu @sievenderz @somuchdard @kristynaaah @heejamas @jiyeons-closet @sagegreenhairclip @betda @ineedsomezzz @motherscrustytoenailclippings @bussolares @soobnuuy @deluluscenarios @chrrific @vvenusoncasual @rairaiblog @mwahvvis @lveegsoi @desssss-0 @hoonkishoe @sunhyeswife @ilovbeshotaro @dearestdreamies @starry-eyed-bimbo @planetmarlowe @lovialy @ambi01 @elairah @therealmrsbahng @lov4hoon @hollxe1 @lovenha7 @ilovhoonie @coqhee @i03jae @letwiiparkjay @manuosorioh @mintysunoo @amiraazzz @renaishun @enhadd @ikeulove @starniras @heartheejake @zaycie

[ilydeku]

izuku loves to talk about you during interviews

- anything and every topic it will ALWAYS be about you

- the question won't even be remotely related to you and still izukus answer will revolve around "y/n, my wife!!" <3

- oh, the glint in his eyes, the peaking smile when he speaks about you, lover boyyy

- the media knows he LOVE LOVES you, they think it's funny for this big, confident, mighty hero to be reduced to sap when it comes to you

- it's like his whole personality is HIS WIFE

- the journalists lowkey get so SICK of him for this, they don't want to invite him anymore 😭

- but they kinda have to, due to to his status as #1

"Good evening everyone and welcome Hero Talk! Tonight we'll be staring someone you all know and love, single handedly the greatest hero of all time, Deku! Alright, Deku how are you tonight?"

"Feeling pretty good! This is one of my wife's favorite shows, so I'm even more grateful to be here. And how are you?"

"Oh, same old. Really, just living. Now, we wanted to ask you some fun questions. Let's start with this one. Why did you want to become a hero?"

"Wow, haha! That really brings be back to my youth. When I was kid, my biggest influence was All Might, and he miraculously became my mentor. He was a good hero, and a good man. I wanted to be just like him: fearless, persevering, saving people with I smile. I would beg my mom everyday to watch this video on the computer of him saving a bunch a people. I was really swayed by All Might. I wanted to become a hero to make an impact in the world. I wanted to save people with a smile too."

"That sounds really endearing, Deku. I remember All Might's reign. He wasn't number one on the top charts all those years for nothing. So, did you ever think you'd be standing as Japan's top hero?"

"Well, it was never really my goal to become number one. That was Kacchan's- Dynamight's. My dream was, like I said, to become a hero and save others. But I have to say, it really is a blessing. I'd like to thank my Mom, All Might, my friends, and especially my wife for who I've become. My Mom has really done a lot for me growing up: protecting, encourage, and just always caring for me. All Might has kinda been that father figure for me when my Dad was away. My friends have shown me what it's like to work together and really be part of a heart. And my wife? Haha...I can't thank her enough for all the times she's been right by my side, even before we were together. Nothing I can say or do will ever be enough to express how much she means to me."

"Mm. Quite the supportive group. Your wife sounds like quite the lady!"

"She is. She's wonderful."

"Moving on to the next question, do you use social media often?"

"Occasionally, yes?? My wife uses it regularly, posting about us when we go out and stuff. It's mostly for her family to see how she's doing. She handles most of my official accounts. She says it's to be more appealing to the public, and I guess to show that there's more to heroes on the inside?? I'm not really sure, but I trust her process. Although, I'd rather be appealing to her alone."

"The public will always interested in a hero's private life! Now, Deku, what is your ideal setting of relaxation?"

"My wife doesn't like places that are too crowded or noisy, so maybe a cozy day at the beach?- but early in the morning or in the evening when the crowds calm down. Maybe a movie theatre, but days after the movie is released so it's just us together. Actually, a lazy day at home together is great too! Cooking meals and watching a movie on the couch? Really, any place is relaxing if my wife is with me."

(am i questioning Deku's wife or Deku!?) "How scenic! Those sound very fitting for you!! How about any restaurants?"

"Not really. My wife really knows how to cook, it's amazing! I love her home-cooked meals, so there's no way I'd go out of my way to a restaurant. But if my wife is feeling it, I'll be sure to make reservations."

"(sigh)"

"(smiling warmly)"

[robinsgrl]

FEARLESS

chapter one. eggs and fist fights

pairing ⇢ rafe cameron x plus size!reader

word count ⇢ 5.2k

warnings ⇢ curse words, mean girl talk, sexual innuendos and gestures, reader being called fatphobic names, fist fight, reading gets roughed up (not as bad as the other girl 🙌)

authors note ⇢ i haven’t written fanfiction in a very long time sadly, but i actually quite like this! sorry if there’s any mistakes, this is all written in between my days, mostly at work while im on break lol. Hope u enjoy!!

social media part at the very end!

Growing up, you were vehemently told you aren’t like other girls. You didn’t paint your nails. You didn’t like makeup. You didn’t like dressing up. You weren’t the size to be like other girls.

But you wanted to be like other girls. You wanted to giggle over a guy that had a crush on you. You wanted to shop at the same trendy places other girls went to. You wanted to follow trends. You wanted to paint your nails. You wanted to put makeup on. But you couldn’t. Your size draws enough attention to you, you can't put makeup on or dress in crop tops like other girls. And that sets you behind a lot.

Like now, your friend is happily giggling about prom. Prom. The night every girl in Kildare Academy has been dreaming of. Where they’ll rent limos, go out to eat at expensive restaurants, go to landmarks and take gorgeous pictures to post on twitter and reminisce about later on in life. But you can’t think of it positively. All those dress fittings. Hair put in updos that will only showcase your round face, dates that you can’t get.

“Jonah’s definitely going to ask me.” The mention of Jonah piques your interest. The stunning looks of your closest friend always catches your breath. Her stunning blue eyes, her perfectly smooth skin that’s always got a natural tan to it, blonde locs that look effortless no matter what she’s been up to.

The day Scarlett decided to be your friend was a day worth remembering. No one wanted to be friends with the weird pogue girl who was suddenly shoved into the Kook world. You had been eating lunch all by yourself for weeks, at the very end of the cafeteria until she came along and told you your jeans were ugly. You thought she was bullying you. But she kept talking. And talking. And you two just stuck.

“Jonah’s asking you to prom?” You speak after a few quiet moments. Jonah Carpenter. The hottest guy in school. The quarterback. The typical high school stereotype. Only, he’s not dating the head cheerleader. Scarlett’s been pining after Jonah since the eighth grade but the guy was always in his own world to pay attention to any girls.

And maybe that’s what drew you in. He wasn’t like the other guys in the academy. He cared about his grades. He gave his all to the sport he was passionate about. He wasn’t about lame hookups and harsh words like the other guys on the football team. He smiled at you while others sneered. He didn’t see you at all. Which is a lot better than the way other guys see you. You prefer it this way, even if late at night you picture romantic scenarios that you would die to share with him.

Scarlett nods, fixing her lip gloss using the mirror in her locker. Her makeup is flawless as usual, which sends another pang of envy to you. “I’ve been in his DM’s for weeks. I think I’m breaking down his walls.”

Your eyebrows rise at this. “He actually responded to you?” The look she sends you makes you tense. “I don’t mean it in a bad way, Scar. He’s just… him, you know? The last girlfriend he had was in the seventh grade.”

Scarlett shakes her head, waving you off, your words going in one ear and out the other. “I just have to wear him down. Men don’t know what they want until a woman tells them.”

Your nose scrunches at her words, reminding you of your mother. But you can’t say it didn’t work. She was a poor teen mom from the cut one day and married to the second richest man on the island the next. And there’s no better hustler than your mother.

“Don’t look at me like that,” she scoffs as she shuts her locker and pulls the strap of her bag up some more on her shoulder. “Look, you said it, he’s him. He’s a little dimwitted and oblivious.” You want to fight her words. He’s not. He’s smart. And kind. But it’d seem silly to do so. You’ve never had a single conversation with him and she’d point it out to you. “He just needs to realize I’m the girl for him.”

“Right.” You try to hide the judgement in your voice as the two walk side by side. The bell signaling the end of the day had rang a while ago but Scarlett had to stay behind for a cheer team meeting and she was your ride. Scarlett’s talking about god knows what as you make it out of the prestigious school, the sun belting down on the two of you.

The plaid uniform skirt you’re forced to wear blows in the wind but you pay no mind to it. You wear your uniform the way that an upright teacher would present to the school as a good example. Frumpy. Scarlet accessorizes her uniform. She rolls her skirt up at the top, showcasing her long and pretty legs. Cute buttons on her shirt that fits her perfectly.

“Sarah!” Scarlett’s loud and chirpy voice pulls you out of your thoughts. Sarah Cameron. Kook Princess. The perfect example of another effortlessly beautiful girl in Kildare. Sarah’s stunning hair blows with the wind as she waves to the two of you. You don’t respond, not when it’s meant for Scarlett.

The two of you walked over to the girl who was standing with her own friends. Her smile is bright and endearing, yours is awkward as you stand with her and your best friend. “Did you see the prom announcement?!” Scarlett squeals happily. “God, I’m so excited! Are you bringing Topper?”

Sarah shrugs and that catches your attention. They’ve been the talk of the academy for weeks. The top couple. The IT couple. They had been flirting for a while and made it official just a month ago. Scarlett had complained about it. Said the title should be for her as the head cheerleader. “Ugh, what? Are you guys fighting? But you’re so cute!” Her voice makes that high pitched tone that tells you she’s lying. She vies for the attention and title that Sarah holds.

“What about you?” You stare at her blankly until Scarlett nudges your side. This snaps you out of it, eyes widening for a split second.

“Uhm… sorry, were you talking to me?” You ask a little loudly, clearing your throat awkwardly.

Sarah lets out an amused laugh, nodding. “Duh, are you going to prom?”

You’re about to answer but Scarlett beats you to it. “No, she’s not. It’s not her thing, like, at all. I think she’s allergic to makeup.”

Your eyebrows furrow at her rude words, the energy turning awkward as Sarah looks between the two of you with a curious look. “Well… your thing can change, right? I hope to see—“

A loud honk of a car horn makes you jump in your spot, eyes turning to the source. “Sarah, get your ass in the car!” A strong voice calls out to the girl you were speaking to. A familiar grey truck was pulled in the parking lot, engine still running but the windows down to get a good view of the man.

Rafe Cameron.

Your mother tells you to get together with a rich Kook every single day. Begs you of it, actually. But Rafe is out of bounds. He’s trouble. Danger. Too much baggage, she whispers to you at Kook events. His reputation follows him like a shadow. Coke head. Drinker. Parties too much. Always at odds with his family.

You spoke to him once. You didn’t share many classes with him because he was two years ahead of you but your mandatory Spanish class was a mixture of all the grades. He asked for a pencil. He didn’t ask, actually, reached for the pencil on your desk and said he would be using it. You’ve silently held that against him for two years.

“Wait, Rafe!” Sarah yells back to him and it stuns you how little she cares about the eyes on her.

“Stop chit chatting and get the fuck in!” He yells back. You feel incredibly awkward. Maybe it’s the fact that you never had any siblings but this feels too… private to be doing out in public.

Scarlett and you share a look, one that speaks many words between the two of you. “Why are you being a dick?!” Sarah’s words make you speak up.

“Uhm… we should go.” You take a hold of Scarlett’s arm but she shakes her head as she scrolls through her phone.

“Fuck, one of the girls needs my help on our routine.” These words make you frown.

“But you’re my ride.” You sigh.

“You can ride with me.” Sarah’s words send a shiver of fear down your spine. The idea of getting in a car with Rafe Cameron terrified you.

“N-no, that’s fine. Really, I’ll—“ Scarlett interrupts you. Again.

“Don’t be silly, ___, you live too far to walk. Just accept.”

Sarah nods with a kind smile as she loops her arm with yours as if you two were friends. But you can’t be mean. Sarah starts dragging you away and you look back at Scarlett with a look of fear. You mouth a few words to her, begging her to save you. She just laughs you off, making a lewd motion with her two hands and mouth. You regret every telling her about your one sided beef with Rafe, now she’s running with it.

“Sarah, really, I’m fine.” You try to beg her. “I can, I can call my step-dad, really.”

“No, no, no need to bother him when my brother can take you home.”

Your heart stops when you stop at his car door. “You’re taking my friend home.”

You hear him scoff. “I’m not a fucking Uber.”

“Don’t be a fucking asshole, she lives far away.”

“I don’t give a fuck, Sarah. Get in.”

“Not unless she can.”

“Oh my god—“

“You’re gonna let a girl walk all the way home by herself and possibly be murdered—“

“Holy shit, shut the fuck up and get in the car! Both of you!”

You’re tense as you get in his truck. Your hands shake as you put your seatbelt on, unsure of what to say or what to do. This is the most awkward and anxiety inducing situation you’ve ever been put in. “Where do you live?” He questions roughly making you look up at him with a look of fear. He’s looking straight ahead at the road as he starts driving off.

“H-Hill-Hillary Hills.” The second biggest house in the OBX. Of course, the Cameron’s own the biggest. They own the biggest everything. Like yourself, your step-father seems to be in one sided competition with a Cameron.

This makes him look up into his rear view mirror and for the first time in the last two years, you two make eye contact. His eyes are strong, holding what seems to be very little emotion. You feel put on the spot, like there’s a limelight on you. You tear your eyes away and let them flitter around his truck.

“Your mom’s that MILF that’s always hitting on everyone?” A frown immediately falls onto your lips at his words, feeling the anxiety waft through you in waves.

“Rafe, are you fucking serious?” Sarah snaps at her older brother as you bite your bottom lip over how damn shitty that feels.

You can hear Rafe scoff but you can’t look at him. You want to be let out of this damn truck. You can’t breathe.

“Shit, I didn’t know you’d be sensitive about it. My bad.” His words feel like glass in your skin. You need to leave.

Sarah wants to cut the tension, clearly, so she speaks up. “Scarlett’s kind of a bitch.”

You shrug gently, hands holding onto the seat belt tight. “She can be… but she means well.”

You can feel his eyes on you as he speaks. “Who’s Scarlett?”

“Mind your business.” Sarah snaps at him before smiling over at you. “If I tell you something, would you hate me?”

Your eyebrows furrow at this. There’s a part of you that doesn’t want to hear it. It can’t be any good. But your curiosity wins. You nod, urging her to go on. “She was talking shit about you last week.”

Your blood runs cold. Your face falls and you’re sure you look unbelievably pale. Your best friend. The girl you thought was by your side, always, isn’t? “What did she say?” You ask with a small clear of your throat.

Sarah bites her bottom lip nervously as her eyes flicker around your face. “Do you really want to know what she said?”

You nod, trying your hardest not to look over at Rafe who’s eyes keep flickering over to you through the rear view mirror. “She said you were a scared loser who was just dragging her down. Said something about how you… you let your insecurities slow you down.”

“Jesus, Sarah.” You’re surprised to hear Rafe speak up about this.

She scoffs and smacks his arm. “It’s not like I said it about her. I actually defended you.” She looks over at you with a sad smile.

“Is… is that all she said?” Maybe you were naive to think that she really was your friend. But five years of constant hangouts, sleepovers, and long talks, you thought she’d feel something for you.

“I don’t feel comfortable repeating the other things she said.” Sarah admits and your stomach churns. You need to throw up.

“Now that shits gonna eat her up alive. Just tell her, instigator.” You can’t even pay attention to Rafe as he speaks.

“She said you were a big bitch who could crush anyone you come near. I mean… I think she meant the last part metaphorically. Oh my god, I’m horrible. I swear I don’t… I don’t think of you as—“

But you laugh. You laugh out loud. You can’t help it. The fucking irony. She spent countless nights crying to you about how she feels like a failure. How she can’t do anything in life correctly. And she thinks you crush people? She’s a fucking vulture and you can’t stop laughing.

Rafe and Sarah share a look before turning back to you. “You’re insane.” Rafe is the one to say such a thing to you but you can’t stop.

“Holy shit,” you cackle, wiping the tears of laughter that had fallen. You can’t even find it in yourself to be sad. You’re mad. You're enraged. You went around defending her, loving her and supporting her and she goes around and talks shit about you? You’re not sure you’ve ever felt anger like this. “That’s fucking hilarious.”

“I… I don’t know what to say.” You can tell the girl is being honest and you just nod and shrug. This visibly confused Sarah. “What are you gonna do about it?”

“Nothing.” Is your plain and simple answer. What are you supposed to do? Fight her? Trash talk her on social media? There’s nothing you can do.

Rafe’s loud scoff reverberates throughout the truck. “Your best friend was talking shit about you and you’re not going to do a single goddamn thing?”

Your attention turns to him, eyes meeting through his rearview mirror before he focuses on the road. “What am I supposed to do?”

Rafe sighs like this is a problem for him. As if he’s in your position. This bothers you. To have him be so bothered for you and annoyed at you is irksome. And if you were a bigger person, you’d speak up. But you’re not, so you stay silent.

“Scarlett Hillcrest, right?”

Sarah confirms his question by nodding. And he makes a u-turn. This raises some alarms within you. “What are you doing?” You speak in an almost panic.

“We just passed her house.”

“How do you know where Scarlett lives?” Sarah questions her brother in the front seat.

He shrugs and speaks nonchalantly. “I hooked up with her sister.”

Sarah makes a dramatic gagging sound and pretends to throw up all over his truck. A small smile finds its way to your lips at the drama she exudes. You never thought Sarah would be so… funny.

Rafe pulls up the house that you spent countless days inside of. The place where you ate dinner with her parents and siblings. Where you shared your deepest and darkest secrets to each other. And you start to feel that sadness creeping in. But it’s shoved away when Rafe tosses something at you and luckily, you catch it in time.

“Is this an egg?” The question tumbles out with a ludicrous tone.

“Why do you have eggs in your car?” Sarah laughs as she grabs a few as well.

Rafe shrugs lamely, “Rose made me pick some up on the way to pick you up.” The cars fully stopped moving and Rafe’s looking at you. He’s not glaring. Or trying to get a read of you. He’s just looking at you. And this oddly makes you feel confident. At this moment, he’s on your side. The scariest guy in all of Kildare is going to help you egg your ex-best friend's house. “Ready?”

And for the first time in your pathetic and less than thrilling life, you speak with confidence. “I’m ready.”

Your hand meets his as he helps you out of the truck, feet touching the ground, ugly plaid skirt fluttering around you. Sarah is snickering behind you, happily tagging along. The three of you don’t walk too far from his truck, for a quicker run back into it. “You should do the honors.” Sarah smiles at you. A genuine smile. Unlike the smiles that Scarlett gave you, full of pity and contempt.

You stare at the colonial home. The perfect lawn. The sunflowers and tulips that the two of you had planted to placate her mother about getting some sun. You two had giggled the afternoon away, even throwing some soil at each other and having to hose off outside. It was all fake. And a rage overcomes you. You grab two eggs and you throw them at her house. They land in two gross splats high up on her walls.

You laugh. A real and infectious laugh as Sarah tags along and starts throwing more and more eggs along with you. It’s surprising to you that even Rafe is egging this house alongside you and his sister. There’s a small turn to his lips but you can’t decipher whether it’s a real smile or not.

You don’t realize how close to the house you’ve gotten until the front door is swung open and out comes Scarlett’s mother. “Hey, you imbeciles!” She screeched.

“Fuck! Run! Run! Run!” Sarah laughs as you all turn and start running back to Rafe’s truck. Sarah easily jumps into the backseat of his truck and you’re almost there with her. At the last second, your shoe slips off and you land on the floor. You can’t even feel embarrassed as you turn to see that her mother is gaining on you guys.

The last thing you expected was a pair of strong arms around you, lifting you up. Actually lifting you up off the floor. It’s not just a tug. Rafe Cameron has picked you up off the floor, your feet not touching the floor. You have no time to think about this any longer when he helps you in the car. He slams the door and you see him disappear for a second before climbing into the driver's seat and speeding off. You turn in your seat and manage to see Mrs. Hillcrest run off into the street and shout at the leaving truck.

“That was…” Sarah breaks the silence. “So much fucking fun!” She starts loudly laughing.

Your heart is beating hard and fast. And for the first time in a long time, you’re not anxious. You don’t feel bad. You feel good. So damn good. Laughter begins to bubble out of you and the two of you fall into each other in a complete fit. You two can barely talk in between the laughter but you still share funny anecdotes, your sides aching.

A familiar shoe falls into your lap and you look up and over at Rafe who you had genuinely forgotten was there. “Feel better?” Your eyes meet his again and you don’t feel nervous like before. You don’t want to run away. Being in his truck feels freeing, no longer suffocating.

“Way better.” Your smile is bright as you answer him.

—

You had blocked Scarlett on every platform you had her on, severing all ties. You had cried while doing it when the adrenaline of egging her house left your body. To have someone you cared for deeply not care for you at all was a pain you never wanted to experience again.

Getting to school that morning filled you with dread but it had to be done. The idea of being alone, of no longer having her by your side was scary but you didn’t have that little self-respect. She hated you while all you did was love her. It was embarrassing.

“Uhm, what the fuck?” Scarlett had been leaning on your locker, standing up straight as she saw you. Her face is twisted up in confusion and anger. “You fucking blocked me on everything?”

You sigh as you stand across from her, a hand holding onto the strap of your backpack unbelievably tight. It feels like your only lifeline right now. “That’s what one does when you find out your friend is a lying bitch.” The words just slip out of you. You can’t control them. You can’t hold back. Not anymore.

Scarlett’s eyes widen and she gapes her mouth, like a fish out of water. Usually, you’d rush to her. Take care of her when she’s like this. But you can’t, not without looking even more pathetic. “What does that even mean? What the fuck did I do?”

“It means that I won’t drag you down anymore.” You throw her words back at her. “This big and insecure bitch won’t bother you anymore. Sound familiar?”

It visibly takes Scarlett a few seconds to catch up to what you’re saying. And you see her face fall. And for a second, you feel bad. And then she speaks. “What? Come on, I said that out of anger. You pissed me off that morning and I was just venting.”

“That’s how you vent about your best friend?” You scoff, the pity you felt for a moment being crushed and dusted away. “By calling her fat? Spewing hate about her?”

“Don’t act like you haven’t done the same.”

“I haven’t!” You snap, the anger now radiating off of you. People are watching now. Trying to get a good listen. “I’ve never talked badly about you because you were my best friend! Did you get on my nerves? Obviously, that’s bound to happen when you spend every day together but I’ve never disrespected you or called you names to others!”

“Okay, I get it.” Scarlett’s eyes nervously look around the two of you, clearly not wanting anyone to get into it with people around. “Look, I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t mean for you to find out.”

You’re looking at the girl you held so close to your heart and you don’t recognize her any longer. All those days together catch up to you. Her snide remarks about your choice of meal at restaurants. The digs about how she can share clothes with her other friends. Her skinny friends. You had romanticized your friendship because you were scared of not having any. “That’s what you’re sorry for? You’re sorry that I found out you were talking shit about me?”

“Well…” she sighs loudly, crossing her arms over her chest defensively. “What do you want me to say? I was angry. It just came out!” Now it’s clear that they’re arguing and everyone has stopped to watch.

And you feel that wave of anger coming back. All the love. All the memories. They’re squashed. Looking around at the group, you let out a scoff. You point to a girl in your math class. “She calls you Tammy DumpTruck.” You point to a guy. “She calls you pepperoni.” She points to another girl. “She made out with your boyfriend and then lied to you when you cried to her.” Your eyes meet Jonah, his green eyes watching you the entire time. “And she doesn’t really like you. She's just using you because she thinks being with the quarterback will up her social status. She called you dimwitted and oblivious yesterday!”

Scarlett scoffs loudly, laughing. “Are you fucking kidding me? I call you a mean name and you start fucking exposing me?” She shoves your shoulder, your back back falling to the ground in a loud thud. There are murmurs around the two of you, no doubt already gossiping about the mean crap you exposed. “You think you’re so fucking innocent? You sat and listened to it all! Not once did you stand up for them while I said all this shit!”

Angrily, you shove her shoulders right back, her bag falling to the floor now. “Because you would bully me too! What the fuck was I supposed to do? You kept me on a leash like a fucking puppy!”

She shoves you again. “Oh, shut up, whiney bitch! You loved being my puppy! It’s the only way anyone ever knew you existed! You’d be nothing without me! You *are* nothing without me! Leaving my side is going to be the worst thing you’ve ever done! You’re gonna be a fucking weirdo loser with no friends!”

You shove her again and she’s pushed up against the lockers. She’s enraged but so are you. And there’s loud cheering around you two. “Fight! Fight! Fight!” Kids chant.

“And you’re going to be a trophy wife who will never achieve anything in life!” You yell right back at her. Low blow. She would tell you that was her biggest fear. But she knew yours too and she used it to talk behind your back. In your angered and muddled head, this was an eye for an eye. “You better enjoy the rest of your high school career because that’s the only time you’ll ever matter!”

“You stupid skank!” And hands are flying. She pushes you, smacking you. You shove her off of you and manage to get her to fall onto the floor, only she drags you with her. Now, the two of you are punching each other. Pulling hair. Scratching. You feel a pair of arms wrap around you while someone else tugs Scarlett off of you.

Scarlett’s screeching like a wild animal, wanting to be let go to keep fighting you. She's got a few scratches on her face, lip and nose bleeding. And you’re not any better, the same scratches, hair wild and your single nostril bleeding.

“Fake bitch!” You call out as you’re dragged away from her.

—

The sound of the phones ringing in the office is what’s keeping you at bay. The principal had called your mother but she didn’t pick up. Now, your step-father is on his way over to pick you up and sign a form to solidify your two week suspension. You’re not scared of your step-father. He’s more scared of you than anything but you are scared of your mother finding out. And you’re not ready whatsoever.

A soft voice breaks you out of your thoughts. “You look like you need this.” You look up and meet the pair of green eyes you’ve fantasized over.

Jonah is smiling softly at you. His plump lips turned up. Eyes crinkled gently. A wave of nervousness washes over you and you can’t speak as he holds out an ice pack for you. Shakily, you take it and place it on your forehead, the tender part that’s already bruising.

“Did she really say all that?” He breaks the silence as he stays standing across from where you sit on the office chair.

Gently, you nod. “Y-yeah.” Your voice cracks but you’re too tired and aching to care about it.

“Woah… I knew she wasn’t nice but I didn’t think she was a… bully.” He lets out a shaky laugh. You can’t look away from him while he speaks, not until he looks at you and you divert your eyes.

“Yeah… uhm… I didn’t even realize how shitty she was until… until yesterday.” You comment, leg bouncing up and down.

He takes this as his sign to take a seat next to you. You slowly scoot away from him, feeling shy and exposed with him. Even more so knowing that he saw it all. And how you spoke to him.

“I just… it’s funny that she thinks I’m the oblivious one, you know? She kept flirting with me through DM’s and I kept rejecting her and she wouldn’t take a hint. It was just kind of ironic.”

You snort out a laugh. “Yeah. Tell me about it. She got mad that I used her insecurity against her but I was supposed to be fine with her using mine.”

He exhales another small laugh. “Yeah. You guys… are ruthless.”

A small grin falls onto your lips, bringing the ice pack to your bruised lip to hide it from him. It’s silent again. It’s awkward. He clears her throat and speaks again, “I thought it was cool.”

You glance over at him with raised brows, breath quickening when his green eyes meet yours. “What you did. I thought it was cool.” The way his eyes flicker across her face, taking her in, makes her leg bounce more.

“Your mother is going to kill you.” The sound of your step-fathers voice cuts through your shared moment with Jonah.

Quickly, you hop up out of your chair and rush up to him. “Oh my god, Anthony. There has to be a way we can hide this. Please. Please. She’s going to murder me. This beating is going to be nothing compared to what she’ll do to me.”

The older man sighs loudly, rubbing the empty spot between his eyebrows. “Honey, your face is… messed up. God, how good did that little snob get you?” His hand falls to your chin, moving your head around to take a good look at the damage.

You scoff at his words and jokingly bring your fists up as if prepared to fight him. “You should see her face. More busted than mine.”

He rolls his eyes but there’s a playful smile on his face. “Okay, Ninja, let’s go.”

social media part!

[jburrgf]

CRAVE, MATT REMPE.

pairing: !ny rangers¡matt rempe x !pr girl¡reader

summary: forced proximity, coworker paring, fake dating,

description: you’re a personal assistant working behind the scenes in the NHL world — organized, focused, and determined to keep things strictly professional. But when you cross paths with Matt Rempe, everything starts to unravel. What begins as tension and irritation slowly turns into something far more complicated: stolen glances, blurred boundaries, and a possessiveness that neither of you are ready to face.

word count: 7.4k

You meet Matt Rempe for the first time on a Tuesday.

It's raining — not enough to be romantic, just enough to ruin your hair and smear your eyeliner in the reflection of your cracked phone screen. You're fifteen minutes late to the morning media meeting because the subway stalled, your umbrella flipped inside out, and someone spilled iced coffee on your blazer. It's one of those days where everything feels like a dare from the universe.

You burst into the media room at Madison Square Garden with damp shoes and an apology on your lips, and that's when you see him.

Him.

Six-foot-seven. Hockey gear is halfway off. Hair curled damply at the nape of his neck. Legs stretched so long that you're almost offended by them. And his most irritatingly amused expression as he watches you stumble through the door, breathless.

"Oh," he says, eyebrows lifting. "You must be the new PR girl."

You blink—PR girl.

"I'm the media relations coordinator," you correct flatly, trying to shrug off your coat with what's left of your dignity.

He grins, slow and lazy like he's already won something. "That's cute."

Cute.

You seriously consider quitting right then and there.

You don't get far.

Before you can even find a seat, your boss, Richard — salt-and-pepper hair, tired eyes, Mets mug always in hand — waves you over from the head of the table.

"Good, you're here," he says, flipping through a packet of printed media notes. "I need you to focus on Rempe this week."

You blink. "Me?"

Richard nods. "He's a walking headline lately. Fights, interviews, that whole clip of him saying he wants to 'punch the moon' or whatever? It went viral again last night. We need to soften his image. You're going to shadow him for content and prep him for interviews."

You glance over.

Rempe's now poking the sharp end of a pen into a Gatorade bottle. For fun.

You turn back to Richard. "I'm sorry. You want me to clean that up?"

Richard sighs. "He's not as dumb as he looks. But he is chaotic. You'll figure it out. Get him to post something sweet. Please give him a dog, or a grandma, or something. Make him charming."

"Can't we just… let him talk less?"

"Too late," Richard says, flipping the page. "He talks. Make it work."

The next few days are… not smooth. Matt was making everything more challenging for you. First, you try to get him to film a "Day in the Life" TikTok. Second, he misses his Lyft, saying that he got a stained sweater. And then he shows up twenty minutes late, unshaven, wearing mismatched socks and a Shrek hoodie.

"Are you seriously wearing that?" you ask.

He glances down. "What? Shrek's a style icon."

You pinch the bridge of your nose. "You're ruining my life."

He smiles, teeth flashing. "C'mon, PR girl. Admit it. You love the chaos."

You do not. Except maybe — just maybe — you do.

Later, when you finally get him to sit down for a short interview clip, he leans forward and goes: "Hi, I'm Matt Rempe, and my favorite pregame ritual is headbutting a locker until I see stars."

You stare at him. He smirks. And then, you roll your eyes for the 60th time just that day.

"I'm kidding," he says, eyes sparkling. "Mostly."

You and Matt don't go very far with the content. You record half of a video with the camera, and as you walk down to your car, you find weird selfies from Rempe on your phone. And on that afternoon, you badge in Richard's office—hair a mess, zero patience.

"I can't do this," you say.

He doesn't look up from his computer. "What happened now?"

"He called me PR Girl again. He refused to stop juggling pucks while I was trying to interview him. He ate two protein bars at once and choked mid-sentence. I had to edit out a Heimlich maneuver."

"Sounds like a productive day."

You glare.

Richard sighs. "Look, I know he's a lot. But he likes you."

You scoff. You cannot believe in that. "He does not."

"He does. I've never seen him listen to anyone, Y/N. And you got him to show up to something that wasn't optional andstay the whole time. That's a miracle in itself."

"He licked the mic, Richard."

"Baby steps."

[...] 

On Friday, after practice, you catch him stretching near the edge of the rink. He's sweaty, flushed, laughing at something Trocheck said, and you hate that he still manages to look stupidly good even when he smells like a locker room. That was almost impossible. But there was him.

Strangely handsome.

You approach with your phone already recording.

"Okay, last try," you say, holding it up. "Three questions. Answer them like a professional, and I'll buy you lunch."

His head tilts. "You're bribing me?"

"I'm desperate." You have to say. 

He grins. "I'm in."

You hit record.

"What's one thing fans don't know about you?"

He pauses, thoughtful. Then: "I can play the piano. Badly."

You raise an eyebrow. "Seriously?" That could never be serious. He was… Matt Rempe! Matt didn't do cute things. Right?

He shrugs. "A couple of years of lessons when I was a kid. I learned the Titanic song for a girl once. It didn't work."

You laugh — genuinely — and his eyes flicker like he wasn't expecting that sound from you.

"Next question," you say, voice a little softer. "What's something you'd be doing if you weren't playing hockey?"

He hums. "Probably teaching gym class in Saskatoon."

"Saskatoon?"

"Big dreams."

You smile. "Last one. What's your favorite thing about game day?"

There's no pause this time. "The crowd," he says, voice lower now. "It's loud. Messy. Feels like everything matters."

You stop recording—something in the air shifts. You clear your throat. "That was… good. Thank you."

"No problem," he says, and for once, there's no teasing in his tone.

You turn to walk away, grabbing your bag on the floor and ready to go.

"Hey," he calls after you.

You glance back.

He's still sitting, lacing up his shoes now, but his gaze is steady. "You're good at this. The media stuff. The wrangling thing."

You blink. "Thanks."

He grins. "Still gonna call you PR girl, though."

You roll your eyes. But you're smiling as you walk away.

Later that night, Richard texts you.

"Great clip, Y/N! You're onto something. Keep pushing him. Let's make this work.

You stare at your phone, thumb hovering over the keyboard, and then tuck it away without replying. Because for the first time since you took this job, you're not just thinking about how to manage Matt Rempe's image.

You're thinking about him.

The fact that he didn't seem to be the monster that he looked like.

And that? That might be the real problem.

[...]

You don't hear from him for three days.

This is annoying because, technically, you're the one who's supposed to reach out first. You're the one scheduling clips, organizing posts, coordinating with digital, and trying to make the Rangers' wildest rookie seem less like a cryptid who wandered onto the ice by accident and more like an actual human being. But for some reason, ever since that final clip on the edge of the rink — the piano thing, the Saskatoon thing, the look — you've hesitated to press send.

And, of course, that's when your boss decides to show up at your desk.

"Big idea," Richard says, clapping his hands together like you're not drinking coffee out of a chipped Stanley cup and scrolling through Matt's Instagram to see if he's posted another blurry picture of his feet.

You blink. "That's terrifying."

"You and Rempe," he says, ignoring you, "are going off-site."

You stare. "I'm sorry?"

"Media day. But casual. The internet loves authenticity. We're setting up a video shoot in Brooklyn — an ice cream truck, a dog rescue, and a couple of kids from the youth hockey league. You'll be shadowing."

You narrow your eyes. "You want me on camera?"

"No," he says with a dismissive wave. "But you'll be there. And people will see you. Which, frankly, isn't the worst thing. You're sharp. You're organized. You're good with him. I wouldn't mind the internet knowing who's behind his PR glow-up."

You hesitate.

Because it's one thing to be near Matt, it's another to be next to him — under the same lens, the same spotlight, the same curated chaos.

"I'm not trying to be a face of anything," you say carefully.

Richard shrugs. "You're not. But proximity sells. Especially when he looks at you the way he does."

You freeze. "Excuse me?" What was he even talking about?

He arches a brow. "You haven't noticed? He does everything you say to him to do it."

You have. And you don't want to talk about it.

"I'll book the car," you say, standing too fast. "If I'm going to survive a dog shoot with that man, I need caffeine and a sedative."

[...] 

The shoot is set on a quiet block in Williamsburg, just off the water. The ice cream truck is painted pale pink. The dogs are chaotic and too cute to be real. And Rempe — God help you — shows up in a navy blue beanie and a soft-looking hoodie that makes him look like the hot guy in a Hallmark movie who fixes antique clocks and only cries once.

You hate him.

"PR girl," he says as he approaches, a dog already climbing up his leg. "Didn't know you were making a cameo."

"It's not a cameo," you say, gently tugging the leash. "It's supervision."

He smirks. "You love babysitting me."

You give him a flat look. "You ate chalk last week because you thought it was candy."

"It was pastel!" he protests. "Who makes candy that isn't edible?"

You open your mouth. Close it again.

"Point is," he adds, smiling widely, "I missed you."

Your stomach does a thing. It's a stupid, fluttery, PR-inappropriate thing.

"Try not to lick anything this time," you mutter.

The cameras start rolling.

It's chaos — but good chaos. Matt holds a Chihuahua in one hand and a vanilla cone in the other. The kids from the hockey league swarm him like he's a giant jungle gym. At one point, someone throws a tennis ball, and four dogs and Matt all chase after it.

You stay off to the side, managing the handlers, the photographer, the digital team — but you notice the way he keeps glancing over at you between takes like he's checking if you're still there.

Like you matter.

And that's… dangerous.

Because this isn't a friendship.

This isn't flirting.

This is work.

And getting close to a player — even Rempe, who seems incapable of subtlety — is not part of your job description.

But then it happens.

You're crouching to help one of the kids tie a skate when someone calls Matt's name, and he turns too fast, tripping over a leash, a cone, and his own ridiculously long legs.

You don't see it coming until he crashes into you.

You land on the sidewalk hard.

And he lands on you.

Full body. Heavy. Hands braced on either side of your head, face inches from yours, chest rising and falling like he just ran a marathon.

You blink up at him.

He doesn't move.

And neither do you.

Somewhere, a camera clicks.

You hear laughter. Whistles. Someone yells, "GET A ROOM!"

And suddenly — so suddenly — it's not funny at all.

Because his eyes are on yours.

And nothing is teasing in them this time.

"Sorry," he breathes, voice rough.

You shake your head, barely. "It's… okay."

He doesn't move.

You don't ask him to.

[...] 

The clip goes viral within three hours.

You're not even back in Manhattan when your phone starts vibrating like it's possessed. The Rangers account posts it with the caption: "Just two people, falling for each other." You want to scream. Or throw up—or both.

By the time you return to your desk, the clip has garnered 2.1 million views, and you are trending.

Not him.

You.

"I'm going to die," you whisper, staring at the screen.

Richard walks by and casually says, "You're welcome."

You turn to him, horrified. "You planned this?"

He shrugs. "Not the fall. But I'm not mad at the result."

"It's inappropriate," you snap. "He's a player. I'm staff."

"You're not kissing him," he says, then pauses. "Yet."

You shoot to your feet. "Richard—"

"Relax," he says, raising both hands. "Just keep it clean. And keep it going. The internet's obsessed. He's finally marketable."

You open your mouth.

Close it again.

Because you know he's right.

And that's what terrifies you most.

That night, your phone buzzes with a message.

Matt Rempe: Still thinking about the fall?

You stare at it.

Please ignore it.

Try to sleep.

Fail.

Because you are thinking about it.

And the worst part?

You don't want to stop.

[...]

You're barely through the doors when you feel him watching you.

The charity gala is precisely the kind of thing you dread — overly formal, stuffed with people who care more about who'sseen supporting the youth hockey program than actually donating to it. You've been prepping for weeks, building storyboards, syncing schedules, and coordinating influencer coverage. But nothing prepared you for what Matt Rempe looks like in a suit.

Or, more specifically, what it feels like when he sees you in a dress.

Because the second your heels hit the marble floor, his eyes find you. And they don't leave.

Not when he's talking to the GM. Not when the team photographer calls for group shots. Not even when one of the donors pats him on the back and says something about "rising stars" and "young blood."

You try to pretend you don't notice.

You fail.

"What are you even doing here?" he murmurs when he finally sidles up next to you at the champagne bar, voice low enough that it makes you shiver. "I thought PR types hated events like this."

"I do," you reply coolly, adjusting your badge. "But someone has to make sure you don't go viral for eating all the hors d'oeuvres."

He grins. "I only did that once."

You arch a brow. "You stole a shrimp tower."

"I rescued it."

"From a child."

"She didn't even like seafood!"

You roll your eyes and sip your champagne.

"You look nice," he adds after a beat. It's casual, almost throwaway — but the way he says it makes something hot bloom low in your stomach.

You glance over at him. "Thanks."

"Like, really nice."

You narrow your eyes. "Are you flirting with me at a team-sponsored event?"

He shrugs. "I flirt with you everywhere."

You nearly choked on your drink.

The situation worsens when the press arrives.

There's a freelance reporter — tall, polished, confident — who sidles up to you near the silent auction table and immediately starts laying it on thick.

"You handle the Rangers' social?" he asks, leaning a little too close. "That explains the tone shift. It's gotten sharper. Funnier."

You shrug modestly. "We're trying new things."

"Like the Rempe stuff," he says, smirking. "Smart angle. He's the goofy rookie with a PR handler who dislikes him. It's got tension."

You blink. "Excuse me?"

He grins. "It's obvious. You're always trying not to smile in the videos. Feels kind of charged."

You step back, heart racing. "We're professionals."

"Sure," he says, clearly not buying it. "But the internet's rooting for you. I mean, the fall? The way he looks at you? Come on."

You're about to snap when a hand lands on your waist.

And not just any hand.

Matt.

"You okay?" he says, looking only at you. His voice is low. Firm. Different.

You nod.

The reporter raises an eyebrow, amused. "Speak of the devil."

"Funny," Matt says, not smiling. "Didn't realize this was an interrogation."

"Just a conversation," the guy replies, unbothered. "But maybe I'll circle back."

He walks away. You exhale.

Matt doesn't move his hand.

"You didn't have to do that," you say, avoiding his gaze.

"I know," he says softly. "But I wanted to."

You finally look at him, and what you see makes your stomach flip.

Because for the first time, it feels like the flirting isn't a joke.

It's something else.

Something real.

You don't leave together. You don't even talk much after that. But when the storm hits Manhattan just past midnight and all the bridges close, you realize two things.

One: You're stuck in the gala hotel.

And two: so is Matt.

You find him in the lobby, hair damp, jacket slung over one shoulder.

"We're snowed in," you announce, stating the obvious.

He looks up. "Yeah."

"We're not allowed to leave."

"I noticed."

You hesitate. Then: "Do you have a room?"

He nods slowly. "Do you?"

You do. But it's a double. And it's cold. And you're too wired to sleep.

So when he says, "Wanna hang out until the power comes back?" — you nod.

And follow him upstairs.

His room is dim, lit only by the warm yellow glow of a desk lamp. He pulls off his jacket and throws it on the bed. You hover awkwardly by the window, watching the snow swirl.

"I can sleep on the chair," he says.

You turn. "What?"

He nods toward the armchair by the TV. "If it comes to that."

"I'm not staying the night."

He grins. "Sure you're not."

You scowl, but your cheeks go warm.

He crosses the room and sits on the edge of the bed. For a moment, the only sound is the wind outside and your heartbeat inside your ears.

"I meant it, by the way," he says quietly. "What I said earlier."

You blink. "Which part?"

"You look nice. And that I missed you."

Something in your chest tightens.

"You don't even know me," you whisper.

He stands.

Steps closer.

"I know you don't let people in easily," he says. "I know you're too smart for half the idiots in this building. I know you roll your eyes when you're flustered. And I know the only reason you're pretending not to like me is because you think it's safer that way."

Your breath catches.

"I'm not trying to make this complicated," he adds. "But it already is. So, if you want me to back off, say the word. But if you don't…"

He doesn't finish, and you don't need him to. Because you're already stepping forward, and for one heartbeat, neither of you moves.

Then, suddenly — finally — he does.

And the distance between you disappears.

[...]

You wake to the sound of silence.

Not the sterile kind that fills your apartment after a long day. This is something softer. Sleep-heavy. Still. The type of quiet you don't notice until you've been wrapped in it for a while.

Your eyes blink open slowly. The room is pale, with morning light filtering through thick snow-draped curtains. For a second, you're disoriented. This isn't your bed. This isn't even your hotel room. It's—

Your head turns.

Matt.

He's on the other side of the bed, turned slightly toward you, one arm bent beneath the pillow, lashes casting faint shadows on his cheek. His mouth is parted just a little. His hair's a mess — flattened on one side, ruffled on the other — and his long legs are tangled in the comforter.

He looks peaceful.

You don't.

Because the second your brain catches up, everything from last night crashes over you like a wave.

The gala. The flirting. The hand on your waist. The room. The way he looked at you like you were the only person on the planet.

You didn't sleep together — not in that way.

But you'd shared a bed.

And the intimacy of it somehow feels more dangerous than anything physical ever could.

You sit up slowly, carefully, trying not to disturb him. Your feet hit the carpet. You tiptoe to the window, and the snow hasn't let up. Manhattan is a postcard in grayscale — all blurred edges and icy stillness. You let your forehead rest against the cold glass.

You should leave. You should go back to your room, drink the bad hotel coffee, and put all of this into a box labeled 'mistake.' But then you hear the sheets shift.

You turn.

"Hey."

Matt's voice is low and rough from sleep. He squints at you, then rubs a hand over his face. "You okay?"

You nod. "Yeah. I just… woke up early."

He sits up, the blanket pooling at his waist. His bare chest is broad and freckled and unfairly distracting. He stretches his arms over his head with a groan.

"Sorry," he says. "Didn't mean to take over the whole bed."

"You didn't."

He looks at you for a moment.

And just like last night — and the night before that, and every time he's gotten too close — it feels like the air shifts.

He runs a hand through his hair. "You sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine."

"You're lying."

You roll your eyes, but you're too tired to fight him. "I just… don't know what this is."

His expression softens. "It doesn't have to be anything. Not yet."

You stare at him. "But it feels like something."

"Yeah," he says. "It does."

There's a long pause.

And then, quietly: "I'm not gonna push you. I know this is complicated. Work, and optics, and… us. But I meant what I said last night."

You feel your heart climb slowly into your throat.

"I like you," he says.

And somehow, that's the most terrifying thing of all.

Later that day, the snow starts to melt, but your sense of control doesn't.

You'd made it back to your room. Showered. Dressed and gathered yourself like armor. You even slipped Matt a sheepish "thanks for not kicking me out" text before heading back to the arena.

By the time you're at your desk, you've almost convinced yourself that maybe—maybe—no one will find out.

And then it happens. You're staring at your inbox when your phone buzzes once.

Tracy (Social team)

— omg, have you seen this???

Attached is a video. Shaky, dimly lit. Filmed from across the hotel lobby.

You hit play.

And freeze.

It's you and Matt from last night. You're standing too close. He's got his hand on your lower back. You're laughing—not professionally, not distantly. Softly. Like you're used to him touching you like that.

Which you're not.

But the video doesn't care about the truth.

It ends with the two of you stepping into the elevator. Alone.

Tracy

— girl, it's going viral on hockey Twitter

— "Enemies to lovers, snowed-in edition" LMAO

Your blood turns to ice. Seconds later, your office door opens.

Your boss steps in — tablet in hand, expression unreadable.

"We need to talk," she says.

[...] 

The meeting isn't a disaster. But it's close.

They don't accuse you of anything directly. Just ask a lot of questions — about professionalism, boundaries, and player access. You answer carefully, voice even, nails digging crescents into your palm under the table.

You explain that nothing inappropriate happened. You explain that you were snowed in. You explain that, yes, maybe there's chemistry, but you've done nothing to compromise the integrity of your role.

They don't say you're fired. But they do say this:

"We need to get ahead of it."

This is how you end up in Matt's apartment that evening, pacing in front of his kitchen island while he watches you like you're about to detonate.

"So let me get this straight," he says. "They want us to pretend we're dating. To explain the video."

You nod. "Just for a few weeks. Until the story cools down."

He blinks. "But we're not dating."

"Obviously."

"Yet," he mutters.

You pretend not to hear him.

He leans against the counter. "So what's the plan? Just hold hands at games and pretend we're each other's favorite people?"

You give him a look. "You already are my least favorite person. That part will be easy."

He grins. "You sure about that?"

You don't answer.

Because you're no longer sure about anything.

Except for this: the more time you spend with Matt Rempe, the harder it's getting to remember what you're supposed to be pretending.

[...]

It starts with your hand in his.

Not for any real reason — not at first. Just that you're getting out of the Uber together, and there are photographers outside the foundation gala venue, and Matt turns to you with a look like Ready? And you, despite every nerve screaming otherwise, nod back.

And then he takes your hand.

And doesn't let go.

The sidewalk is slick with leftover snowmelt. The cameras start flashing as soon as the two of you step into the light. You know, the moment the shutter clicks that, it'll be everywhere by morning.

Rempe. And the team's media manager. Hand in hand.

You tell yourself it's a strategy. Optics. It's a clean narrative.

But that doesn't explain the warmth of his palm against yours. Or the way his thumb brushes yours when he thinks no one's looking.

It doesn't explain why your heart stutters when he leans in to whisper in your ear.

"You okay?"

You glance up. He's in a suit. Navy. Perfectly fitted. A tie that matches your dress — coordinated because the PR team insisted you look "believably coupled." He smells like cedarwood and sharp winter air and something distinctly Matt.

"Yeah," you breathe. "Just a little overwhelmed."

He squeezes your hand gently. "You look beautiful."

You blink. That wasn't part of the script.

"Thanks," you say because it's the only thing you can think of that won't give you away completely.

The event itself is a blur.

There are sponsors and speeches and passed hors d'oeuvres, and every time you drift more than a foot from Matt, someone catches your eye with a knowing look. You're suddenly no longer the quiet girl behind the camera or the press release. You're his date.

You.

The most frustrating man you've ever met is now holding open doors for you, getting you champagne, and resting his hand on the small of your back like it's always belonged there.

You're too busy pretending to be in love to realize how natural it feels.

Until the photo.

It's taken near the end of the night against a branded backdrop. One of the foundation's social team members calls you both over.

"You two look amazing," she says. "Give us something sweet. Come on — just one for the team!"

You freeze.

Matt doesn't.

Without hesitation, he steps behind you, hands resting lightly on your waist. You tense as he leans in, but instead of kissing your cheek like you expect, he whispers into your hair.

"This okay?"

Your throat is dry. "Yeah."

You don't look at the camera. You feel him smile against your temple.

Later, you see the photo.

It's devastating.

You're tucked into his chest, both of you slightly out of focus behind a shimmer of falling snow. He's looking at you like you hung the stars. You're looking at nothing — stunned, maybe, by how easy it is to forget what's real.

Or by how badly you want it to be.

Later in his apartment, you're barefoot in his kitchen, holding a glass of water as if it might anchor you. The dress is off. His tie is draped on the couch. And neither of you has said a word in fifteen minutes.

It's not awkward. It's not quite comfortable, either. It's something else — the space between rehearsed affection and something you can't name yet.

Matt breaks the silence first.

"You were amazing tonight."

You glance over your shoulder. "So were you."

He leans against the doorframe. "I didn't hate pretending."

You look away. "Don't."

"Don't what?"

"Say things like that. It's not fair."

He doesn't move. "It's not pretend for me."

Your breath catches.

"Matt…"

He steps closer, slowly, as if you're something fragile. "I don't care about the cameras. Or the stories. Or what anyone thinks. I just… I like being with you even when we're arguing. Even when you glare at me like I'm the worst person alive."

"You are," you whisper, but your voice is trembling.

He smiles. "Then I guess I'm your problem."

His hand brushes your arm. You close your eyes. "Say something," he says.

You turn to face him. And for once, you don't have anything to say.

So you kiss him.

It's not fireworks or slow-motion magic. It's messy, honest, and a little desperate. It's like you've been holding it back for too long and finally let it slip through the cracks. He kisses you back like he's been waiting. One hand at your waist. The other is in your hair. He kisses you like he's not acting anymore.

Because he isn't.

Neither are you.

When you break apart, he doesn't say anything. 

You don't know how long you stand there, forehead to forehead, letting the silence hum between you like it's trying to say something neither of you can.

Your lips still tingle. Your heart won't settle. Matt's breath ghosts across your skin, and suddenly, the space between pretending and something real disappears completely.

He's the one who leans in again, and this time, you don't hesitate.

You kiss him like you mean it now. No script. No audience. Just you and him in his dimly lit kitchen, your dress hanging off a chair, his tie forgotten, and the tension that's been building for weeks finally breaking open.

His mouth is soft but hungry like he's trying to memorize every part of this. Of you.

You drop the water glass on the counter without looking. It lands with a soft clink that neither of you notices. All you feel are his hands — one curling around your waist, the other sliding up your back, fingers splaying across your spine like he needs to keep you close or he might lose you.

You press into him without thinking.

Your body fits against his like it's meant to. He's tall — too tall — and you're always a little aware of it, but here, now, it doesn't matter. You like the way you have to tiptoe to meet his mouth. You want him to bend to reach you as if it's second nature.

His hands skim the edge of your ribs.

You gasp — barely — and feel him pause.

You pull back just enough to look at him. His eyes are heavy, his jaw clenched, and he's breathing like it's taking everything in him to stay in place.

"Is this okay?" he asks, voice low, rough around the edges.

You nod.

Then, because you want to be sure he knows, you say, "Yeah. It's more than okay."

The smile that pulls at his mouth is crooked and boyish, a little stunned as if he can't believe this is happening. You can't, either.

His lips find yours again, more deliberate now. He kisses like he thinks this might be the last time — like he doesn't want to waste a second of it. The kitchen counter digs into your hip. Your hands slip under the hem of his button-down. His skin is warm and solid, and he shudders when your fingertips drag across his stomach.

You feel him tense.

Then he pulls away, just barely, and looks at you. Not down at your mouth or your body, at you.

"Do you wanna go to my room?"

It's not rushed. Not cocky. Just quiet. Honest.

You could say no. You know he'd back off in an instant. But you also know this isn't just about tonight. Not really. It's about all the almosts. All the things you haven't let yourself want until now. 

You reach up, slide your hand into his hair, and whisper, "Yeah."

He kisses you like thank you.

He doesn't rush.

That's the first thing that surprises you.

For a guy who usually barrels into everything like he's too big for the world — too loud, too impulsive, too much — Matt is soft here. Careful. Patient.

He shoves you backward until your spine hits the door, and you don't even flinch — your fingers already tugging at the collar of his shirt, frantic to get him bare. But he's faster.

Matt grabs your wrists with one hand and pins them over your head, holding them there like it's nothing. You gasp, breath catching in your throat.

You step into his room and barely have time to take in the simple, masculine chaos of it — dark sheets, one lamp on, a worn Rangers hoodie on the back of the chair — before he turns to face you.

And then you're kissing again. But this time, it's deeper. Messier.

His mouth slants over yours with a hunger that's been simmering for weeks. You feel it in the way he breathes, in the way he fists the back of your dress and pulls you in like he's starving.

Your hands go to his chest, then lower, fumbling with the buttons on his shirt, yanking it out of his pants. His skin is warm under your palms, a mix of hard muscle and softness in all the places you had imagined.

He lifts you like you weigh nothing and tosses you on the bed. Your back bounces against the mattress, legs falling open without hesitation. He stares down at you — messy, panting, wet — like he's starving and just found his fucking feast.

You groan against his mouth when he bites your bottom lip.

He pulls back just enough to look at you. His pupils are blown wide, his jaw tight, voice low and wrecked:

"Tell me to stop, and I will."

"I don't want you to," you breathe, and then he's on you again.

You feel it in the way his hands finally touch you, like he means it — one sliding up the back of your thigh, the other gripping your waist tight enough to bruise. And then, he's kissing down your neck, sucking marks into the skin like he's claiming you.

"Fuck," he mutters into your collarbone, voice thick. "You have no idea how long I've wanted this."

You do it because you've wanted it, too.

You moan when his hands tug at the zipper on your dress, and he pauses, just for a second, to look at you again.

"You sure?"

Your answer is a breathless "Yes. Matt. Please."

He swears under his breath as the dress hits the floor. And when his eyes rake over you — bare skin, underwear, all of you laid out and open in front of him — his breath catches like he's never seen anything so fucking perfect in his life.

"Jesus," he says, stepping closer. "You're gonna ruin me."

You tug him toward you by the waistband of his pants.

"Then let me."

His kiss is punishing. Teeth. Tongue. Possession.

"Fuck, I knew you'd be like this," he growls, mouth dragging down your neck. "All bratty and loud until I get my hands on you."

"Matt—" you whimper.

He smirks darkly. "Still got something to say, baby?"

He lifts you like you weigh nothing and tosses you on the bed. Your back bounces against the mattress, legs falling open without hesitation. He stares down at you — messy, panting, wet — like he's starving and just found his fucking feast.

"Take that shit off," he says, voice low. "Now."

You scramble to obey, peeling off your top. You're left in nothing but your panties — soaked through — and he groans when he sees the wet spot.

"Look at you," he mutters, dropping his jeans. His cock springs out, thick and hard and already leaking. "You're fuckin' dripping for me, and I haven't even touched you yet."

Your mouth goes dry.

He kneels between your legs and drags your panties down with one hand, the other already sliding up your inner thigh. His fingers brush over your slit, and his grin turns cruel.

"This wet for me already?" he says, pushing two fingers in without warning.

You cry out, hips jerking — but he doesn't slow down.

Matt pumps them hard, deep, curling them inside you like he's trying to make you scream. Your hands fist the sheets. He watches every twitch of your body like a man possessed.

"Fuckin' knew it," he mutters. "Knew you'd take my fingers so pretty. Bet your pussy's even better."

You're already spiraling, moaning, back-arching. But right before you come, he pulls his fingers out.

"No—Matt—!"

He grabs your jaw with his wet hand, squeezing your cheeks until your lips part.

"Open."

You do without thinking, and he shoves his fingers into your mouth.

"Taste yourself."

You moan around him, licking eagerly, and his eyes roll back like he's losing it.

"Jesus Christ."

He jerks your legs wider and lines up his cock without warning — not even grabbing a condom. And for a second, you blink.

"Wait—Matt—"

He pauses, eyes flashing. "You on the pill?"

You nod, barely able to breathe. "Yes."

"Good," he mutters. "Because I'm not fucking pulling out."

And then he slams into you.

You scream — not from pain, but from the stretch, the force, the overwhelming fullness. He's big, but more than that, he's brutal. He doesn't give you time to adjust. Don't ask if you're okay. He just fucks into you like he owns you.

"God, yes—fuck—Matt—"

"You like that?" he pants, one hand grabbing your hip so tight you'll feel it tomorrow. "Like getting your cunt ruined by me?"

You can't even speak. You nod, crying out with every thrust.

He fucks you hard and fast, grinding so deep your legs go numb. His hips smack into yours, the headboard slamming the wall in rhythm. Your nails rake down his back, your moans getting louder, rougher.

He growls, low and primal.

"Say it," he snaps. "Say whose pussy this is."

"Yours," you whimper. "Yours, Matt—!"

"Say my fucking name when I fuck you."

"Matt—fuck—Matt—please—!"

You're seconds from falling apart when—

Your phone rings.

Shrill. Loud. The vibration buzzed across the nightstand. You freeze. Matt doesn't stop. He grins and leans down, biting your lip as he grinds in deeper.

"Answer it."

"What—?"

He thrusts again, harder.

"Fucking answer it."

You fumble for the phone with shaking hands, your vision going blurry from pleasure. The screen flashes:

"Richard (Office)"

Your boss.  You look at Matt, panic rising.

He slows but stays deep inside you, not backing off an inch. "Put it on speaker," he orders.

"Matt—"

"You wanna come, baby?" he breathes against your neck. "Then you're gonna answer it. While I fuck you."

You're soaked, trembling, lightheaded from the way he fills you — and you know you'll say yes to anything he says—your thumb slides over the screen.

"Hello?"

Richard's voice comes through, sharp and tired. "I've been trying to reach you for the past hour. We have a problem with the roster for tomorrow—"

Matt thrusts deep. You gasp.

Frank pauses. "Are you—okay?"

You force a breath. "Yeah. Yeah. Sorry. I—uh—was asleep."

Matt fucks into you again — hard — and you bite your lip so hard you taste blood.

Frank sighs. "We need you to resend the updated sponsor deck tonight. Can you handle that or not?"

Matt grabs your throat, not choking, just holding you there, and you can barely think.

"I—yes," you stammer, breath hitching. "I'll send it in twenty."

"Good."

He hangs up.

Matt doesn't even let the call finish clicking off before he pulls out and flips you over like you're nothing, dragging your hips back until your face is pressed into the sheets and your ass is in the air.

"Twenty minutes," he growls, lining up again. "Guess I better make this quick."

He slams into you from behind, and you swear you see stars.

You can't even breathe. He's fucking you like an animal now, grip bruising, pace vicious, filthy praise spilling from his mouth.

"Such a fuckin' good girl," he pants. "Letting me use you while your boss is on the phone. Letting me ruin your fucking cunt. You love it, don't you?"

"Yes—Matt—fuck yes—!"

Your orgasm hits so hard that your vision goes black.

You scream his name, your whole body shaking, and he doesn't stop — he keeps going until you're sobbing, overstimulating, and twitching. And then he comes.

With a growl, Matt slams into you and stills, cock pulsing deep inside, filling you up. He stays there, breath heavy on your neck, hands gripping your hips like he never wants to let go.

Neither do you.

You don't rush out of Matt's room. You don't bolt for the door like you're trying to escape some mistake because this wasn't a mistake. Not even close.

Instead, you lie there for a long moment, your chest rising and falling in rhythm with his steady breaths. The bed dips where he's still half on top of you, warm and heavy, his fingers tracing lazy, featherlight patterns along your spine as if memorizing every inch of your skin.

The silence between you feels like an electric current — thick, potent, and humming louder than any words could be. It's not awkward. It's not uncertain. It's just this — two people tangled in a moment that's theirs and theirs alone.

You lift your head to look at him, the way the soft light casts shadows over his jaw, the slight curl of his mouth when he catches your gaze. His eyes—dark, raw, unguarded—hold a kind of fire that makes your stomach flutter and ache all at once.

"Not running," he says quietly, his voice low and rough from what you just did to each other.

You smile, breathless. "No. Not running."

He presses a kiss to your temple, his hand sliding up to cup your cheek, thumb stroking gently. It's a touch so different from the roughness before, soft and careful, like he's holding something precious — you.

You close your eyes and lean into it.

For a while, you stay there, wrapped up in the aftershocks of everything that happened. The way his skin feels against yours, the lingering heat in your veins, the slow fade of that wild, rough hunger giving way to a quiet, intimate calm.

Matt's lips find yours again, softer now, almost hesitant, like he's discovering a new language. You melt against him, your fingers tangling in his hair, pulling him closer until there's no space left between you.

"You good?" he asks after a moment, voice barely above a whisper.

You nod. "Yeah. Better than good."

He grins that crooked, dangerous grin that made your knees weak earlier. "Good. 'Cause this?" He gestures between the two of you, the messy sheets, the way your bodies fit together like puzzle pieces, finally found. "This isn't a one-time thing."

You laugh softly, breath hitching. "I was hoping you'd say that."

He sits back just enough to look at you properly, eyes sharp but warm. "I mean it. You're not just some girl I fucked and forgot about. You're mine"

You feel that. The weight of it. The promise wrapped in those words.

"Neither are you," you admit, heart pounding with how real it all feels.

Matt reaches over to the bedside table, grabs his shirt, and starts pulling it on without a word. You follow suit, slowly slipping back into your clothes, still savoring the lingering heat between your legs, the ache that's both delicious and familiar now.

As you stand to leave, Matt catches your wrist, tugging you back down beside him.

"Wait," he says, voice low and serious.

You look at him, curious. He leans in close, so close you can feel his breath against your skin.

"I want you. Not just tonight." His hand tightens slightly on your wrist. "More. You get that? I want you since the first time I saw you."

You nod again, the words caught in your throat.

"Good."

And with that, he presses a rough kiss to your neck, then lets you go. You step out into the hallway, the cool air hitting your skin like a shock after the heat of his room. You don't look back.

Because you don't have to, Matt Rempe just made it very clear — you're exactly where you're supposed to be.

[mistywaves98]

Stalker! Scara and his unsuspecting classmate/friend, you

Just something I had in my head for a while that I just poured out into a post. These lil headcanons don't really flow properly either 😭

¡Warnings!: Suggestive (?), Reader is painfully oblivious, Can be read as yandere scara, Stalking, Taking nonconsensual photos, General creepy behavior!

Stalker! Scara who's had his eyes on you for a long time, longer than you could've imagined all while you're completely oblivious to it. Or maybe he's just that stealthy?

Stalker! Scara whose room is so untidy. Dirty laundry, empty noodle cups and snack wrappers line the floor of his messy man cave. But he still keeps his mini shrine dedicated to you completely clean and flawless.

Stalker! Scara who has an entire wall dedicated to you. The left side is the gallery of pictures he's meticulously cumulated over multiple months while the other is shelves of stuff you've either touched or he sneakily 'borrowed'.

Stalker! Scara who has a collection of the most random things because it has some sort of connection to you. Be it a pen you used to chew the end of or a piece gum you've chewed, or even a tissue you blew your nose in.

Stalker! Scara who works his ass of at a measly part time job in a convenience store near campus just to have money he can spend on you. Coincidentally, it happens to be the same one you frequent a lot.

Stalker! Scara who has most definitely stolen some bills from the register, particularly the ones you had given him to pay for your items one day. Just another addition to his ever-growing collection.

Stalker! Scara who somehow happens to wherever you are on campus, seemingly doing his own thing on his phone. But in reality he's just trying to get perfect angle of your ass as you bend over to pick up something you dropped.

Stalker! Scara who initially joined the photography club out of school obligations but now uses it as an opportunity to enhance his photo-taking skills to get better pictures of you instead of the blurry, barely visible ones he had clumsily taken in the beginning of his little obsession.

Stalker! Scara who's got his hands on every piece of personal information about you that he can find. Be it your birthday, your relationship with your family, your favourite song, a place that you frequent, or maybe even a particular brand of clothes that you buy.

Stalker! Scara who always makes sure to send some sort of gift for you on any remotely special occasion. Sometimes it's a bouquet of your favourite flowers, an item you had been eyeing in the shops for a while or perhaps something more daring like a pair of lacey panties he would die to see you in. Those risky gifts are always sent anonymously, leaving you quite puzzled.

Stalker! Scara who always keeps track of your schedule, having all your planned events on his calendar so he can keep an eye on your every move.

Stalker! Scara who somehow finds himself on every bus that you're taking whenever you're going into town, gaze fixated on you from afar. He can't help but wipe the drool off his chin as his eyes notice the way your breasts and thighs jiggle with every bump in the road.

Should I make pt 2?

[oldwritingm]

Thinking thoughts about these guys again

Creepypasta/MH - Things That Make Them Think of You

Characters: Jeff the Killer, Jane the Killer, Clockwork, Nina the Killer, Tim/Masky, "Ticci" Toby

Jeff the Killer

Violence. Specifically, committing it

I know that sounds bad, but he gets so high off of that stuff

The adrenaline rushing through his veins, the wild smile that comes to his face, the noise, the sights... it's euphoria for him

And when he reaches his peak, endorphins at maximum saturation, that's when he thinks of you

It's almost like he subconsciously asks himself if there's anything in the world that could make him happy like this, and his subconscious responds by conjuring an image of you

As if he couldn't get any happier, thinking of you just pushes him higher

This happens a lot...

He'll be killing someone, already over the moon, then he'll blast to Mars when he thinks of you

And he starts associating you with violence; even if you're the gentlest person in the world

It's the happiness it brings him that links it to you

Though if you're a psycho (affectionate) like him, there might be another reason he associates it with you lol

It just gets worse over time; eventually he can't even see other people committing violent acts without thinking of you

He'll be watching a horror movie, and blood will splatter the screen and he'll be like: Nice. Y/n's nice too. Y/n... <3

Jane the Killer

Quite the opposite of Jeff; it's the quiet moments that get her thinking of you

(my reasoning is confusing but I'll try my best to explain T-T)

And there are two reasons for this

One, because whenever she gets a moment to think to herself, her brain always wants to think of you first

Maybe it's just hunting that hit of dopamine it gets when she imagines your smile, or the way your hands feel in hers...

Or maybe it's just that it's become a habit for her to think of you so often, so it's second-nature that she does so when she gets the chance

But the second reason is that she loves peace, and you are her peace :)

She's a vengeful person with a lot of turmoil inside, so when her environment is peaceful, she tries to follow suit

She's just taking what she can get before she has to go back to hate and obsession

So she imagines the peaceful things in her life

Namely, you

Even if you're not a very peaceful person, she feels at ease when she's with you

So, when it's quiet, she thinks of you to quiet herself

Memories of forehead touches and holding hands are more than enough to fill the silence :)

Clockwork

Literally everything.

I’ve mentioned this in a previous post, but Clockwork will find the most random things that remind her of you

She’s got a very creative mind; she can find the subtlest of things that make her think of you

Oftentimes they’ll be disturbing things…. Like a dead animal or smth

But she gets a little smile when she thinks of you anyway :)

She’ll probably send you a picture of whatever it was that reminded her of you

So you’ll just get a text out of nowhere like:

[picture of a dead wasp] “thought of you <3”

After a while you’ll learn to just not ask

Because you’ll definitely get one of these texts AT LEAST every other day, if not every day

Sometimes they’re actually nice things though! Like a song or a pretty sunset :)

Or something she saw while shopping that made her think of you; she always makes sure to steal …obtain those things

And ofc she gifts them to you 😌

Nina the Killer

I think it depends on your aesthetic

To me, Nina is someone who’s very in tune with aesthetics

Even if yours is super niche, or it doesn’t fit under a specific category like “emo” or “butch” or even “clowncore,” she’s got it DOWN

And so it’s always things that fit your aesthetic that make her think of you

Maybe it’s a view: a dark forest, a bright sunset in your favorite color, a sunny park, an eerily empty sidewalk…

Maybe it’s clothing: pants, shirts, dresses, jackets… always the exact kind of thing you’d wear :)

Maybe it’s music: she listens to music like. All the time. So she’s definitely at least dipped her toes into a genre that’s so totally you

Or maybe it’s something miscellaneous: a pop tart flavor, a blanket, a picture, the color on a soda dispenser…

No matter what it is, you’re guaranteed to love it

She always manages to surprise you with yet another random thing perfectly suited to your aesthetic

And she’s always on the hunt for more >;)

If it’s something she can physically bring to you, you best believe she will though

And if you decide you hate it (you won’t, but maybe later when your aesthetic changes), you guys light a bonfire and burn it together :)

Tim/Masky

It’s a Polaroid picture of you

He’s not in the picture; it’s just you

The flash is on, illuminating you and leaving the background in dark obscurity

He took it himself one night when he was just enamored with the way you looked

He did it casually, just telling you to look at the camera

The rest was all you; maybe you smiled, maybe you threw up a peace sign…

Whatever you did, he felt it captured your essence perfectly

He stared at the photo for a long time after it came out, and he still stares at it frequently

He carries it deep in his wallet where no one can find it

He’ll pull it out when he needs to think of you, usually when he’s especially down

Which is pretty often, my boy is troubled :(

He’ll trace his fingers around the edges, remembering that night

Your voice fills his ears, your scent fills his nose, and suddenly he’s aching to see you in person again

And he will; he’ll probably call or text you soon :)

“Ticci” Toby

Honestly? Probably something super obscure related to some kind of inside joke between you two

I’ll paint an example

Maybe you two were in the kitchen together, and you wanted him to get out the milk for you

But you ended up calling it a “mug of jilk” instead of a “jug of milk”

Toby, of course, bursts into laughter

He teases you for ages afterwards, calling milk “jilk” and always pointing out jugs of milk with a knowing grin

You’re in on it too though

You always snicker whenever he does those things

Maybe that’s why it becomes so special to him; it amuses the both of you

He gets to laugh and hear you laugh :D

So (in this case) he’ll think of you whenever he sees a mug of j (oh gosh oh no you guys got me too) jug of milk

And he probably takes pictures to send you too

You’ll just get a text that says “jilk mugs spotted ‼️” and a picture of the milk aisle at the grocery store

He likes to imagine your laugh when he sends texts like those :)

Thank you so much for reading!! Take care my lovey doves <33

(divider by saradika)

[peanutalergy]

pushing it down and praying ୨ৎ s.r. × reader

in which you see your ex fiancée again after months of pretending someone else can replace him

tags: angst, nothing explicit but this is def 18+, fem!reader, ex!spencer, post prison maybe?, no cheating but like lowkey...?, mentions of periods, sad. idk. there's this weird random guy i made up ? idk. pushing it down and praying by lizzy mcalpine

w/c: 2.4k

a/n: I genuinely hate this so much I'm sorry guys idk what to say. this reminds me of that shitty poetry book pls tell me you know what I'm talking about . whatever idc I hate it sorry.

steven. your boyfriend of nine months. his name is steven. he reads occasionally and he's not really the smartest, but the glasses sitting on his nicely sculpted face are enough; his bony hands with slender fingers are enough; the way he has his coffee with too much sugar is enough; his converse are enough; his messy long hair is enough.

the letter s on the necklace that sits on your collarbone stands for steven. he gave it to you as a gift last month. it's enough. he's enough.

sure, he can't tell you where your birthmarks are, his eyes are a little bit lighter, he's put off by your mismatched socks and by the smell of your favorite tea, he hasn't read your favorite books, he doesn't understand your jokes, and he can't quite reach the same spots he could.

but you've always heard you're creative. if you let your mind travel far enough away at the right moments, he's enough.

there's times his understanding (or lack thereof) of you is annoying; when he doesn't know what flowers to get, when he forgets small but fundamental things about you as a person. there's times you're glad he isn't smart enough to realize why you shut your eyes every time. why you stare at the s on your neck whenever you look at the mirror.

he never knows how you like your eggs. he's never seen you blowing out your hair, never watched you enough to learn how to do it, but at least that means he'll never see any of the doubt in your eyes.

you love him. he doesn't work a job that puts either of you at risk and he doesn't get home at three in the morning. he's stable, he's safe. you love him.

it's what you tell your friends. it's what you tell yourself.

someone on the internet says if you repeat something too many times it becomes true. your beliefs shape your reality. so you lie your head on his chest and you believe it. you hold his hands and you believe it. you tell him you love him and you believe it. you tell the mirror you love him and you believe yourself.

you sit at your favorite library when he's out with his friends, reading a book he'd hate while you drink the coffee you're trying to like. the taste is similar to the bitterness you've had in the back of your throat for the past year. you try not to think too much about what happened the first time you were here with a similar book in your hands and an almost identical outfit on your body. the time you bumped into a guy reading war and peace in french.

the time you spilled your tea on his shirt and insisted on paying to get it dry cleaned.

you stare at the paper not reading any of the words as the hand not holding the book fidgets with your necklace. the s is for steven.

you take a deep breath. the air smells the same. you blink, being careful not to keep your eyes shut too long because you'll be back on that day if you do.

the day the library became your favorite.

your therapist says it's not healthy to only think about the good moments. it gives you a distorted view on it all, makes you forget about the bad parts. plus, it's bad to think nicely about your ex when you're with someone else, isn't it?

so, whenever you find yourself thinking too much about the flowers he bought before he got down on one knee, you make sure to remind yourself of the hundredth time he canceled plans last minute, or every night he got home when you were already asleep, or when he would give you those same flowers as an apology for not being there on an important date. but at least he knew your favorite flowers.

with a sigh, you look up from the page to distract you from whatever rabbit hole you burrowed yourself into. the library is warm, a harsh contrast to the wind outside that hurt your nose as you walked here. it's also quite empty, considering the time: there's an old man smelling of mildew nearby, a couple of teenagers holding hands as they buy books for each other, a child trying to read the hungry caterpillar to her mom, and a tall dude who looks way too young for the clothes he's wearing.

you mentally scold yourself for thinking of a joke related to his clothes being borrowed from the first man. he doesn't even look bad, you've just found that recently, your first instinct is to be mean. maybe it's the winter that feels endless, maybe it's two year-long lasting premenstrual syndrome that doesn't seem to have anything to do with your cycle, or maybe it's the fact you still see his face everywhere.

maybe you made fun of him (for a second, to yourself) because he looks a lot like the man you haven't forgotten.

he starts walking in your direction, head low while he looks through the book in his hand. that's funny. he really looks like the man you haven't forgotten. so strange.

he's a few feet away from the table now, probably planning to sit in one near yours. he mutters something to himself; you can't hear it, you're not close enough, but you can see the words in a foreign alphabet on the back of the book he picked up and you can smell his cologne and it brings a weird lump to your throat and oh my god it is him.

no, it's not. you're insane. you want it to be him, so so so badly, so you see him everywhere you go, in everyone. he's probably somewhere in new york right now, chasing a serial killer the way he did in all the stories he told you.

you look back down, trying not to make it show how your heart dropped. it's not him. you had just spent almost a continuous minute staring at a random man and your eyebrows had probably done that weird thing they do when you're about to cry. you force yourself to read the words in the page but the font is so small and it's so hard to read and you can smell it and it is him.

you settle for taking a sip of the coffee you still don't really enjoy. tastes like spen steven. the grip on your necklace involuntarily tightens when you start thinking of him.

the s is for steven.

steven. your boyfriend of nine months.

he likes video games, coffee, the pub near your apartment. his favorite cereal is fruit loops. he doesn't like bananas. he doesn't text you during the work day. he loves chocolate but he's lactose intolerant and he's allergic to pean–

your thought train is cut off by the small sound of your name being called out, the same way one calls out “god?” when they're dying. the familiar voice heard in such a familiar tone made you not want to look up. you stare at the page. his name is steven.

he calls your name again, you can't pretend he's not here anymore. you hold your necklace like one would hold a cross before walking into hell while you slowly look up.

you look at each other for a moment in silence.

“spencer.” you mutter, a slight disbelieving tone in your breathy voice.

“hi.” he says just as quietly as you.

there's another moment during which you just stare at each other's eyes trying to make sure this is real. he gives you a hesitant smile. you squeeze the necklace again. steven.

you tell him to sit down. it's awkward at first, neither of you know what to say. he asks how you're doing, you ask about the book. he's looking at you like he regrets every choice he's ever made. like he knows he's to blame for what happened. you talk about your job, he doesn't even mention his. you talk about the irony of seeing each other after all of it at the same place you first met. you hope he doesn't know that's the reason you're here.

after thirty minutes, when it's almost normal again, you're smiling and laughing as he talks and vice versa. he looks down at your chest. he's not the kind of guy to stare so blatantly. he’s not looking where you, even if for a second, hoped he was. he's staring like a deer in headlights at the shiny letter hanging from your neck.

“his name is steven.” you whisper after a second or two, “stands for steven.”

he looks back up at your face again, chuckling awkwardly and nodding, “yeah. that… yeah, that makes sense.”

when he changes the subject again, a bit more unsure, you repeat it in your head. steven.

he talks about his mom, you talk about yours. a topic related to his coworkers comes up, but he doesn't say too much when he has to mention the fbi. aside from that, he hasn't changed a thing since you last spoke. you wish you had.

when you pick up the paper cup with the bitter black liquid that makes you wince at the taste if you don't put enough sugar in, he stops talking and tilts his head. with furrowed brows, he says, “you don't like coffee.” you shake your head “no” while you swallow it like it's some sort of poison, “why are you drinking it? what happened to the tea?”

“steven doesn't like it.”

“you stopped drinking tea because your boyfriend doesn't like it?”

“mhm.”

you wish you just could talk to him like you did before. have a proper conversation that doesn't turn awkward every couple of sentences. but how are you supposed to talk normally to a man you once went wedding dress shopping for? how do you talk to him about your new boyfriend when you had a venue booked with him?

“you shouldn't have to.”

“i know.” you whisper with a nod.

you bring up the bau. he blows it off. it's like he's trying to make up for every time it got in the way of you two, especially the time it was final. when you argued for the nth time about it. when you made him pick between you and the job, and he took a minute too long to answer; by then, you were already out the door.

you don't talk about it. you don't bring up the cancellation fees you two split, you don't ask about the ring and he doesn't ask about the dress. you're glad he doesn't apologize.

you give him the rest of your coffee, you can't stand it anymore. he likes the amount of sugar. you don't tell him how similar he is to steven.

as soon as silence falls between you for longer than ten seconds, you're staring into his eyes and thinking about giving it all up and running back to him. you can tell he's thinking the same before he even mumbles, “we could work it out, you know.”

it's stupid, you know you would have your face buried in his pillow as soon as he had another case, soaking the fabric with tears that always felt like they had a lower ph level than they actually do, tears that burn your eyes as they leak, and that wouldn't be there when he came back. you know you'd grow to resent it all over again, his job and his love for it, and eventually, him.

before you say no (or yes), the intro to apple bottom jeans starts playing, the muffled sound coming from your phone lost somewhere in your purse. it's the custom ringtone you gave steven's contact. it's the custom ringtone derek gave your contact when he stole spencer's phone a few years ago.

the way he looks at you makes you want to cry. reminds you of when a child sees their best friend playing their favorite game with another kid at recess. you excuse yourself to pick up the phone with shaky hands.

you breathe like it's never enough air, the tiny bathroom you locked yourself into barely has any oxygen left by the time you say “hey, babe” with a cheery voice that doesn't let the tears clumping in your eyes be known.

all you understand from him is “can i go pick you up already?” and all you can answer is a small “yeah” as you stare at the mirror and repeat to yourself you love him and you love being with him and you can't go back to spencer and he's enough. you don't let the tears fall, you can't ruin the makeup you spent so long doing this morning.

if you found out you were in that bathroom for hours, you wouldn't be shocked.

when you go outside again, spencer isn't there anymore. seeing the table you were sitting at empty makes your heart drop somehow even lower. on it, there's only the empty coffee cup, the book you were reading, and a french copy of war and peace with a post-it note on top. if you read it, you'd cry. you pick it up and tuck it into the back of your phone case after putting the books back into their spots.

steven drives you back to your apartment and you eat together the nice dinner he cooked for you. you can't pretend he's spencer when he has his mouth open. so, after you're done eating, you shut him up by kissing him and taking your clothes off. a routine you've had for the past few months. it's almost fever dreamish, how you can close your eyes and spencer is the one on top of you instead and it feels a hundred times better, instantly.

of course, it's not the same. it could never be. spencer knew you so well, in a way no one else ever could. the man has an eidetic memory, for god's sake. he knows everything about you, what and where and when and how he could make you feel like the most important person on earth.

steven isn't the same, but if you close your eyes, he's enough.

does it make you cruel? maybe. does it make you sad? definitely. but it doesn't make you strong enough to go back to the lifestyle spencer’s job gave you. so you hold steven close and you hope he doesn't hear it when you mutter another name under your breath.

“i really enjoyed seeing you again. hope it can be different next time.

you can always call me if you need it. i can try to change if you give me another chance.

you shouldn't stop drinking the tea. :)”

[superbassbuck]

Making Out for America

Chapter 1: We the People

masterlist || one || two || three || four || five

Pairing: Congressman!Bucky Barnes x America's Sweetheart!fem!reader

Authors note: was never a fan of posting fics on tumblr, but I figured I'd share it here for those who aren't a fan of reading it on ao3. but if you prefer ao3, you can read it here!

Mentions: 18+, enemies to lovers, slow burn, set during thunderbults*, sexual tension, forced proximity, arranged marriage, panic attacks, mental health issues, angst (lots of it), no y/n

Word Count: 4.7k

Summary: Bucky Barnes, the reformed assassin turned congressman with a major PR problem that just won’t let up. Tabloids bad mouth him. Society fears him. How can he get the American people to believe that he has what it takes for a seat at the office? Desperate for a breakthrough, Bucky needs a way to win over the nation’s trust.

Then his press secretary suggests a bold solution. Marriage to you, the poised, beloved daughter of a decorated war hero. America’s sweetheart. The embodiment of everything he’s not. It’s all for show. For Bucky, it means a shot at redemption. For you, it’s a chance to elevate your late father’s legacy and secure support for your foundation. Strictly business, and no space for love.

Everything is going well. But behind closed doors and the flashing cameras, you two can't stand each other, and it's taking everything in you two to not rip each other's throats out.

gif by whitedarkmoonflower || dividers by cafekitsune

The lights and cameras were flashing way too damn bright. They always were. Bucky adjusted his tie a little too tight against his throat as he stared out at the sea of flashing cameras and hands waving in the air. 

Standing in front of these people always felt like standing in front of a shark tank. These relentless reporters were always ready to pounce, banging their heads against the glass until the tank finally cracked. Despite his nervousness, he still forced a smile. But these kind of smiles never quite reach his eyes. 

“Congressman Barnes,” the voice starts with a polite tone. They always do.  “Do you think the American people can trust someone with your… history , to legislate in their best interest?” 

And there it was. 

He can already feel the cracks of the tank starting to form, droplets of water leaking through. It was always that sly and passive aggressive comment about his history that riled up the crowd. He was already hearing snickers, and as he opened his mouth to speak, the flash of the cameras grew even brighter. 

“I believe in accountability,” he begins, standing straighter. “I’ve spent years proving I’m not the man I used to be.” 

More pictures. More flashes. More cracks. More water leaks.

Bucky continues. “I didn’t get here by pretending my past didn’t happen. I got here by owning up to it–” 

Another hand shot up before he even got to finish. Perfect. 

“But some would argue you weren’t just a man. You were a weapon, one that took innocent lives. Shouldn’t a seat in Congress be reserved for those who never had to atone for war crimes?” 

Jesus Christ. He needs a drink. 

If that same question was brought up to him months ago, maybe he would’ve grovelled and begged for forgiveness right in front of these reporters. But as the days went by—and as hard as it was—he had to accept that he wasn’t in control during that time. 

The Winter Soldier wasn’t him. 

Bucky swallows. “I was used. Programmed to become something I’m not. That’s not an excuse for what I’ve done, but it is the truth–” 

“And yet you’re voting on national security bills now. Do you think families who lost loved ones to Hydra feel safe knowing you’re writing law?” 

He freezes. And just like that, the shark tank shatters and water comes gushing through like a tsunami. Click, click, click. Cameras snapped at him as he stood there on the podium like helpless prey. His left hand resting on the podium curls into a tight fist as he tries to compose himself. He has gotten used to showing off his arm without a glove—trying to own up to it. But at times like this, he just wishes he could put that stupid glove back on if it means not to be looked at like a damn monster. 

But rather a respectable human being. 

“I…I can understand that my position here can be very… worrying—” he begins to stammer. 

Bucky’s press secretary, Margaret Voss, was seated in the front row. She narrows her brows at him, eyes sharp. His press secretary knows better than anyone that once he starts adding ‘worrying’ in his sentences, then everything goes downhill from there. 

There have even been headlines about it, mocking him. Headlines in big bold letters that say: CONGRESSMAN BARNES IN OFFICE? A VERY WORRYING SITUATION FOR THE NATION.

“...and it is up to me to resolve the worrying matters of this very, worrying issue.” Bucky continues, his eyes disassociating blankly into a random reporter in the crowd. Cameras continue to flash, and the crowd begins to snicker. 

He glances down at Voss. She sits there, trying to act calm with her legs crossed. She has her pointer finger circling in motion as she mouths “Wrap it up.”  

“Thank you. Excuse me,” he muttered quickly, giving the crowd a curt nod before stepping down and offstage with a quiet, “Shit,” under his breath.

“Congressman Barnes, wait!”

Reporters shouted after him, but he was already gone. He kept his left hand in a tight fist, beginning to feel very self conscious about his prosthetic. He eventually disappears behind the curtain as the press pit continues to erupt in an arrangement of inaudible questions.

Voss caught up to him in a hurry, heels clicking on the marble floor. “Well, that went wonderful,” she muttered dryly, falling into step beside him as they turned a corner, finally out of everyone’s view.

“What the hell am I supposed to say when people ask me questions like that?” Bucky snapped through clenched teeth. “I’ve had this seat for what— three months ? And they’re already raking me through the mud.”

He shoved open the door to a small, empty office and walked in without waiting as Voss trails after him. She was clutching folders against her arms, her wrinkled hand holding onto them tightly. 

“It doesn’t help that you have nothing to show for,” she said, not unkindly, but as blunt as ever.  “Any chance you’re getting a bill on the floor before the decade ends?”

Bucky leaned against the desk, shooting her a glare.

Voss didn’t flinch. She just let out a tired exhale. “You’ve gotta get on that, Barnes.” 

“I am trying ,” he grits through clenched teeth. “There’s just too much to read, and half of it feels like it’s written in another goddamn language.”

She tucked the folders under one arm and pulled her phone from her back pocket, squinting as she held it away from her face. With a sigh, she grabbed the reading glasses dangling from her neck and slipped them on.

“I’ve got a few ideas that could help,” she said, tapping at the screen. “But you’re probably not gonna like them.” 

Bucky crosses his arms. “At this point, I’ll do anything.” 

“Well… good.” She says, nails tapping away at the screen. “There’s nothing this country eats up faster than a good old-fashioned family narrative. A loving partner. Stability. Something that says, ‘Hey, I’m not a weapon, I’m caring, and I’m husband material.’ ”

He stays quiet. 

“It shows you’re capable of love, that you’ve got a soft spot. That you can relate to the average American voter.”

Bucky scratches at his salt-and-pepper beard, giving her a slow, skeptical nod, urging her to get to the point.

“That also says you’re working for their best interests. Because you’re just like them. A man with a home. A heart. But unfortunately for you…” she pauses, glancing up briefly, “you’ve got no family, barely any close friends, and no one to come home to—”

“What are you getting at, Voss?” Bucky cuts through impatiently. 

Voss sets the folders she had tucked under her arm down on the desk behind him. She’s still tapping on her phone.

“Marriage.”

He lets out a dry laugh. “That’s real funny.”

She finally looks up at him over the rim of her thin glasses. “I’m serious, Barnes. You need to get married.”

He glares at her with a look that’s stuck between disbelief and disgust. “No.”

“Yes.”

“No,” he repeats, firmer now, standing straighter.

Voss exhales, lifting her glasses to the top of her head. “Barnes, let’s not be dense. The press still sees you as this… weapon dressed in a suit,” she waves her phone vaguely at him. “They don’t see a man. They see The Winter Soldier . ”

“Wow, thanks,” he mutters.

“What better way to dissolve the rumors than getting married?” Voss went on, ever casual as she swiped through her phone. “And it can’t just be with anyone, no. It has to be someone with American values. Clean record. Squeaky clean image. The kind of person who makes the nation swoon when you walk hand-in-hand in public, like how they did with the Kennedys.”

Bucky flinched.

Voss blinked, looked up, then immediately grimaced. “Right. Shit. Sorry.”

“Anyway,” she cleared her throat, trying to recover, “have a look at this.” She held out her phone, tilting it sideways to show the screen. A livestream was playing, and in the center was a woman–you–standing on a podium with a bright smile on your face. Like you were born for this.

Bucky frowned, voice gruff. “What is this?”

“Just watch,” she says. 

You stand on the polished podium with a practiced smile. String of white lights twinkle above the outdoor venue. Banners with your father’s name and the foundation’s logo flap gently in the breeze. 

Even after all these years, speaking still makes your palms sweat. You’ve done this so many times before, yet the lump in your throat never fully goes away. Your hair is neatly styled, your modest dress tailored just a bit too tightly, forcing you to hold yourself taller, stiffer. Every flash of the camera reminds you that you’re live and being watched, judged, recorded.

The crowd finally settles into a quiet whisper. Now it’s just you and the microphone. 

“My father was one of America’s greatest war heroes, as you may know…” you begin, trying to keep your voice steady. “He dedicated his life to serving this country, protecting freedoms we sometimes take for granted. He was taken from us too soon, murdered in service. Though we still don’t know by whose hand…” 

You pause for a moment. You look up at the sky and blink away the tears. God. Don’t cry, don’t cry.  There’s probably a few videos online that date back from a few years ago, where you’re standing at this very same podium—crying like a baby the first time you started making these speeches.

As much as it pains you to bring up your father’s sob story countless times, you suck it up and do it anyway. It was for his legacy, and for a good cause. 

“Tonight, we gather not only to honor his memory, but to raise funds for the Jameson Foundation. An organization dedicated to supporting veterans and their families, providing the resources and care that too many still go on without.” 

You suck in a breath and continue. “This cause is personal. I know what it’s like to wait for someone who never comes home. I know what it’s like to feel forgotten. And I believe no family should have to endure that pain without support.”

The cameras flash, and the people in the crowd are smiling at you with solemn in their eyes. As they always do. 

You stand up straighter. “I am proud to carry my father’s name forward. Not just as his daughter, but as someone who believes that real patriotism doesn’t end on the battlefield. It lives on in how we care for those who served, and those they leave behind.”

The applause begins slowly, then builds. People rise to their feet, clapping and nodding. The camera flashes grow brighter, and you continue to force yourself to smile until the very end of it. 

Part performance, part devotion. This was your duty.

By the time the event finally winds down, you’re being ushered into the backseat of a black SUV, still waving and flashing that picture-perfect smile. You offer your final goodbyes with polite nods and short words.

When the car door shuts behind you, it’s like a flip in the switch.

You let out a deep, exhausted sigh, one you’ve been holding in for hours. Your fingers immediately reach behind your back, fumbling with the zipper of your too-tight dress. When it finally gives, you exhale like you've just been freed from a corset and slump into the leather seat.

“God, finally,” you mutter. “Can we stop for a burger?”

From the front seat, your driver glances up in the rearview mirror. His dark sunglasses cover his eyes, but you already know the look. “We were called into–” 

“Please,” you cut in, desperate now. Your stomach growls. “I’ve been starving myself all day to fit into this dress. I just want something quick and greasy. Burger. Fries. A milkshake if you’re feeling generous?”

He exhales slowly. Grumpy old man. 

Then he flicks the turn signal, switching lanes. “Fine. But right after that—”

“Yes! Thank you! You’re my savior, George. I mean it.” You flash him a quick, grateful smile before collapsing back into your seat, dress half-undone and hair already starting to fall from its pins.

On paper, you’re everything the public adores. Clean-cut legacy. Daughter of a fallen American war hero. Ivy League degree, a résumé packed with charity work, fundraiser galas, and “giving back.” Your hair is always done, your posture perfect, clothes modest, and your voice well polished to make it sound like you were born to be on that podium.

You’re America’s Sweetheart. And it’s exhausting.

Because behind closed doors, you’re just the average woman who wants to eat an embarrassing amount of junk food, and rot in bed with your phone or maybe a good book six inches from your face. You’ve got a whole curated public image handed to you on a silver platter, but your real personality is one bad week away from giving the nation a finger on live TV.

Only a handful of people know that side of you. Your driver, George, was one of them. Probably against his will.

After George handed you the greasy brown bag, you didn’t waste a second before diving in. You were finally eating your first meal of the day. You were eating so fast without a care in the world, until you noticed a few drops of mustard dripping down the front of your dress.

“Shit,” you muttered, trying to dab it off with a napkin. “Good thing we’re heading straight home after this.”

George shot you a sharp look from behind his dark sunglasses. “No, we’re not.”

“Are we stopping for gas or something?” you ask him mid-chew. 

“No,” he says curtly. Jeez. This guy wasn’t getting paid more to talk, but still. A little more explanation wouldn’t kill him.

“Then where exactly are we going, George?” you pressed.

He kept his eyes on the road and said, “We’re heading to a briefing room in the Capitol. Congressman Barnes and Margaret Voss are there waiting. They want to talk to you.” 

“Talk to me?” you ask around a mouthful, swallowing quickly. “About what? I didn’t know we had a meeting with them.”

George shrugs. “Tried to tell you, but you kept interrupting.”

Fair enough. Still, what could a congressman want from you beyond speeches and polite handshakes?

“Okay...” you lower your burger, eyeing the mustard stain on your dress. “But can we swing by the house first? I need to change. I’m covered in sauce.”

“No time,” he says bluntly. “We’re five minutes away.”

Wait, what ? Absolutely not. There was no way you were meeting a congressman covered in condiments. Sure, you were the picture-perfect good girl, but sometimes being a spoiled brat was necessary—and being an only child didn’t help. George had learned that the hard way.

“George,” you hiss, gripping the back of his seat. “Turn the car around.”

“No time,” he repeats with no intention of budging.

“Geooorgeee!” you whine, voice rising, hand tightening on the seat.

“No. We’re pulling up now,” he says with firm hands on the wheel. “And you’re too old to be acting like a child. Knock it off.” 

You slump back into the seat and cross your arms. 

The car slows and pulls up in front of an imposing government building. Gray stone walls, tall, narrow windows. The entrance is guarded by two stern-faced officers in crisp uniforms, their hands resting casually but deliberately on their holstered weapons. The American flag swaying gently in the breeze. 

You can already hear the cries of a bald eagle. 

George kills the engine, glances back through the rearview mirror, and says, “Ready?”

“Not like I have much of a choice,” you mutter under your breath.

George doesn’t acknowledge it. He just steps out of the driver’s seat and shuts the door with a soft thud . You hear the familiar crunch of gravel under his perfectly shined shoes as he circles around to your side. The door opens with a gentle pull, and he extends a hand.

You grab his hand stand with a quiet sigh, stepping out of the vehicle.

At the top of the building steps, a woman emerges. She’s sharp-looking with salt and pepper hair pulled back into a sleek bun. She has reading glasses looped around her neck like a necklace, her tailored suit crisp even in the slight breeze. You don’t need an introduction to know this is Margaret Voss.

“It’s lovely to finally meet you! We were just watching your speech on the livestream,” she calls with enthusiasm, her crows’ feet wrinkling deeper as she beams.

“Psst,” George mutters.

You flick your eyes toward him. He’s standing rigid beside you, but you catch the flick of his gaze underneath his sunglasses pointed downward, toward your back.

“Your dress. Zip it,” he says under his breath.

Oh, crap. 

Voss gets closer and you take a step closer to George. “Help me,” you grit through your forced smile. 

“I can’t,” he murmurs quietly, keeping his face neutral. “Looks bad.”

“Oh come on, since when do you care about appearances?”

“I care about yours, ” he says, voice flat.

“Then zip me up, George.”

George mutters something under his breath in annoyance. Then, reluctantly, he reaches a hand for the back of your zipper but withdraws immediately as Voss gets closer. He goes back to standing straight and composed. 

Now Voss is here, standing face to face with you, extending her hand for a handshake. You look at her with the most composed expression you can manage, keeping one hand behind your back to hold the dress together. You reach out with your free one, returning her handshake with a steady grip.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Voss.”

“Oh please,” she waves you off with a smile. “Call me Margaret.”

You smile tightly. Yeah, that’s not happening.

“I’m Congressman Barnes’ press secretary. Come inside, I’ll introduce you to him.” She pulls away and looks between you and George. “Just follow me.” 

She turns and starts walking back inside the building. The two front guards give you a curt nod and steps aside, letting you in with George trailing behind. 

As you step through the doorway, the solid heavy door shuts behind you with a thunk . The cool air inside brushes your skin, a stark contrast to the warmth outside. Marble floors stretch out beneath your heels, the sound of your steps echoing around the foyer.

Margaret is already a few paces ahead, speaking over her shoulder. “We’re just down this hallway. He’s expecting you.”

You and George linger a step or two behind. The moment she rounds a corner and her heels fade in volume, you grab George by the wrist and yank him toward you. “Now,” you hiss.

He hesitates, glancing in the direction she disappeared, but then gives in with a grumble. “Turn around.”

You turn, holding your dress tight at the back as he reaches for the zipper, trying to tug it upwards. “It won’t budge,” he mumbles. “Did you gain weight?” 

You shoot him a glare over your shoulder. “I had one burger!”

George exhales through his nose, brows furrowed in concentration behind his sunglasses. “You’re gonna have to stand really straight.”

You groan under your breath but comply, stretching up like you’re back in ballet class. You feel the zipper inch its way up, tighter and tighter, until finally…. click . It’s zipped up. But now you’re standing so stiff, and if you even dare to bend down or breathe too much, it’ll tear.

“Thanks,” you breathe, tugging the skirt down over your thighs. George just grunts and takes a step back.

Voss returns, peeking her head around the corner. She still has her polite smile on, but you can tell she’s getting impatient. “Everything alright?” she calls, voice echoing faintly down the hall.

“All good!” you reply, lifting your chin and offering a poised smile. You move to catch up with her, taking small, careful steps so the dress doesn’t split at the seams. “Sorry for the delay.”

She gestures for you to follow with a pleasant sweep of her hand. You round the corner, heels clicking again, and stop at the open doorway. Inside was a private office, and at the far end of the room, standing near a tall window with its blinds half-drawn, is a man with broad shoulders and a sharp posture. 

He doesn’t turn when you enter, he just continues to stand there with his hands into the front pockets of his slacks. What a warm welcome. How polite of him to greet you with such boundless enthusiasm. Voss gives a quick knock against the open door anyway, as if it makes any difference. 

“Congressman Barnes,” she says in that bright and diplomatic tone. “She’s here.” 

Finally, Bucky turns around slowly. His gaze cuts across the room and his cold blue eyes land directly on you. Standing in front of any person involved in politics would make anyone feel nervous. But for some reason, the way he’s staring—glaring—at you makes you feel more self conscious than you should. 

You stand up straighter, both hands linked and politely intertwined in front of you as you wait for him to greet you. 

Instead, his eyes drop. They drag across you, up and down. If you didn’t already feel insecure before entering this building, then you definitely already do now. He doesn’t offer a smile. Doesn’t extend a hand. Doesn’t say a word.

He just stands there.

No. 

No way in hell was this the woman Voss expected him to marry. Bucky’s stare doesn’t waver. If anything, his gaze deepens as his eyes continue their slow, deliberate drag down your figure, making no effort to hide that he’s sizing you up. Definitely judging.

There was no way you were the same woman on the livestream he saw just half an hour ago. 

That woman had poise. That woman had her hair pinned up in a perfect twist, glowing under the lights with the kind of smile that made you look like you were carved straight out of a campaign poster. 

Your hair’s undone and an unruly mess. The dress, God. The dress —looks like it shrunk three sizes in the wash. Tight in all the wrong places that makes it seem downright vulgar. And then there’s the kicker, a yellowish mustard stain at the front of your dress. Staring right back at him.

Now you’re standing awkwardly, fingers fidgeting, chewing on your lip like you’re waiting for detention. 

This was America’s sweetheart? 

Bucky swallows, jaw clenched. His hands dig deeper into his pockets. He doesn’t care how many Ivy League degrees you had or how many foundations you fronted, because this? Whatever you had going on here, it wasn’t going to work. 

He knew he wasn’t perfect either, but damn it all. He had a reputation to fix. 

Voss glances between the two of you, sensing the tension in the air. She parts her mouth to speak–probably attempting to smooth things over, but before the words come out, Bucky doesn't give her the chance.

“No,” he cuts in, flat and cold. “The plan is off.”

“The plan?” you recoil, visibly confused. Great. Voss hadn’t bothered to fill you in either.

She shifts uncomfortably, forcing a tight, nervous smile at you and your rigid bodyguard. And seriously, why was he still wearing sunglasses indoors? Bucky made a mental note of that.

“Would you two mind waiting outside for a moment—”

“No,” you interrupt firmly with a frown. “If you’ve got something to say about me, say it here. Isn’t that why I was called in?”

That clearly caught him off guard. He’d expected you to nod politely like you always did in interviews, then exit with a polished wave like some stuck-up princess.

Your bodyguard—driver—or whoever the hell he was, just simply nodded and slipped out the door without a second glance. 

Voss exhaled slowly, trying her best to be careful with her words. “I understand that this is unexpected,” she began, her voice steady and composed. “But I assure you, this proposal wasn’t made lightly.” 

“What proposal?” you stood straight, the tightness of your dress is suddenly the least suffocating thing in this room. Your eyes flickered towards Bucky instinctively. He refused to meet your gaze, instead focusing somewhere near the window.

“That’s exactly what this is. A proposal. A strategic partnership. A public engagement between you and Congressman Barnes.” Voss continued.

You blinked. Then you bark out a laugh. “You don’t mean a proposal as in marriage, do you?” 

Bucky’s eyebrow twitches. Sure, he wasn’t thrilled about this arrangement either, but the distaste in your voice hit a nerve. Still, he said nothing.

Voss just nodded. “Yes. In name and in the public view. Nothing would benefit your guys’ public opinion faster than aligning the Congressman with someone like you, an American figure the public already trusts. Someone with strong values, charitable history, and an impeccable background!” 

Your stomach turned. She was showering you with compliments, but for their personal gain. You hated every moment of this. 

“This is a terrible idea,” you say sharply. “And frankly, quite immature.” 

“Glad we can agree,” Bucky says bitterly with arms crossed. It came off ruder than he intended, but he was past pleasantries after already having a shit day. First the stupid questions from the press, and now this equally-stupid arrangement? Anyone would want to rip their hair out over this. Including you. 

Before you could even think to spin on your heel to leave, Voss speaks up. 

“It’s mutually beneficial,” she says. “Congressman Barnes regains the public’s favor. And you, your foundation and your father’s legacy gains national attention. Think about it. Renewed funding and widespread support.” 

You looked between her and Bucky, whose jaw was tight and eyes unreadable. “And when exactly was I going to be brought into this conversation?”

“Now,” Voss said simply. “I didn’t want to come to you until I was sure the Congressman would agree to even entertain the idea. Clearly, that’s still in debate.”

She glanced toward Bucky, but his stare remained fixed on the floor, silent and brooding as ever.

Voss turned back to you. “This isn’t an order. You’re not being forced into anything. I’d rather you both think of this as an opportunity that would greatly benefit you both,” Then she glances at Bucky. “Especially for one of you.” 

Bucky hates this. He hates every single moment of this, because he knows that Voss is right. He glances over at you with cautious blue eyes. He knows that he needs this more than you do, especially after seeing you on the livestream. You already have support, but you could have more. 

If you were the good person that people made you out to be, then you would accept it, for the sake of your late father. 

But instead, you had your arms crossed, an unreadable expression on your face. You looked like you already had your answer to this. You weren’t going to entertain this stupid idea. You were going to spin on your heel and slam the door shut and never come back again.

Bucky lets out a low exhale, already accepting defeat as he turns back towards the window—

“I’ll do it,” you speak up. 

He froze. He stops in his tracks and turns slowly to you, eyes slightly wide in shock.

Voss was equally stunned. She straightened up, clearly not expecting that answer either.

“Well—that’s perfect!” She says with a breathless laugh. She cast a quick glance toward Bucky, as if to confirm he’d heard you correctly, then refocused on you. “This is… this is going to be wonderful, you guys. Just give me one moment. I have some calls to make.” 

She pulled out her phone, already dialing, and stepped toward the door. Before either of you could say a word, she paused at the door frame and looked back at you both.

“In the meantime, try to get to know each other. On a personal level.” And just like that, she stepped out and closed the door behind her.

And now Bucky is left standing here, face to face with you. Your hair’s a mess, you smell like a walking cheeseburger, and your dress could burst at the seams at any moment. 

This was his future wife, his Mrs. Barnes. 

next

[mostly-imagines]

🌻 anon here

The last few days I stumbled into a few posts about Jason having +18 pics of reader in his phone and I just can't stop thinking "would he tho??" Like would he trust enough his device to have r18 pictures of the one he love and literally worship in his phone??? Knowing he knows damn well how easy it is nowadays to get those types of pictures through hack and stuff??

And I'm not saying he would share the pics, HELL NO he would never. But because I don't think he would trust his phone -and also because it cracks me up- I imagine him having a Polaroid to take the pics. The photos get printed automatically and if he have to he can't literally burn those without having to overthink about someone hacking his phone.

Like can you imagine him just casually take a Polaroid you didn't know where there out his nightstand and taking a pics of you while you reaching your peak??

Anyways all of that just to ask what one of my fav Jason writers would think about the whole Jason having spicy pics of you in this phone

18+

i’ve honest to god been thinking about this non stop since you sent it sunny

i think you're dead on, jason's protective streak rings too loud in his mind to ever take the chance of someone else maybe seeing those photos of you. personally, i’m of the belief that he uses his phone for the most practical purposes only and that his photo gallery is borderline empty, with few exceptions of nondescript images. like the only pictures of you on his phone don’t show your face or any revealing information about you. yeah, he’s a little paranoid in that way but it just makes his alternative that much more interesting.

there’s also something about it that feels more personal, more intimate. there’s not a chance in hell those photos are going near another person and he likes the idea that you’re giving him this amount of vulnerability and trust.

i also think he is an avid supporter of your personal autonomy and feels better knowing that if you want a picture gone, all you have to do is burn it and it's gone forever. he doesn't really like the idea that so many things on electronics can be spread or seen without you even knowing, so he's perfectly fine to stash a few polaroids in unsuspecting places.

he’d be really hesitant to ask you the first time, he was worried he’d make you uncomfortable or that you’d think it was weird. the thought initially came about after he’d gone on an away mission that lasted twice as long as it was supposed to and he was bordering on losing it without a single image of you. that, and frankly, he was stressed and he has never experienced a stress relief quite like you.

so the night he comes back he’s kissing you hard and rubbing up against you, but all he can think about is how badly he wants to capture all your facial expressions and imagery he couldn’t stop imagining while he was gone.

he breaks away from your lips breathlessly, “can I take a picture of you?”

you give him a bemused look, “what? like, now?”

he fiddles with the waistband of your underwear, not making eye contact. “well…in a few minutes..”

his timorous disposition gives you a solid clue of what he means and you smile up at him. “yeah?”

he finally meets your eyes, looking hopeful. “is that alright?”

“of course,” you nod and he leans back down against you, lips meeting your pulse point. “what brought this on?”

he noses at your neck, “jus’ missed you. a lot.”

you nod, pulling back and running a finger down to the tip of his nose. “take as many as you want.”

and he did.

his favorite pics are the ones he takes right when you cum, lips slightly parted, brow pinched. he’s also fond of the moments right when you’re just starting to feel it.

the photos of you on your knees, trying to take him in your mouth as much as you can really do something to him. your eyes watering and you holding his hand for support. he has to pace himself when he looks at those, especially the ones where you’re looking up at the camera.

he doesn’t usually like to be in the pictures, other than his dick in/against you or his hand splayed across your stomach or neck. he also has one or two where you’re riding him and his free hand is on your hip guiding you.

you’d have to be having a particular kind of sex for it to even occur to him to stop and take pictures. it only really happens during the easy times, when you’re both just having fun more than anything. it’s then when he’s really able to take his time with you and savor things, which is why the majority of your polaroids are taken then. he’s also more likely to be in a teasing mood then and not in a particular rush to get you where you’re going. a lot of those pictures show you smiling and completely relaxed which is another reason why he tends to revere those moments.

a grade A way to make him feel better after a long week is leaving him some surprise polaroids in the stash, it makes him crazy. he’s honestly just really obsessed with the idea that you trust him so much with those kinds of photos that you’d go out of your way to take some for him when he’s not even there. i actually think that’s at least half of what turns him on so much about the whole thing, the trust that you place in him and only him to not only see you in those moments but also relive them afterwards. just pics of you in lingerie or even just one of his shirts—it’s over for him.

[zayneslady]

hey!! loved that angst fic you wrote xx can i request the boys reaction to when the reader/mc and them are in an argument, and they accidentally said something extremely hurtful and it made reader cry. make the boys regret it so much pls hehe😼 thank you 💗

warnings: angst, open ending again hehe and again, reader is not MC

characters: Zayn, Xavier, Rafayel x reader (separately)

a/n: my first request *-* thank you so much! This exact trope is one of my favorites. I hope you enjoy it! Get your tissues ready! Also thank you to everyone's support in my first post! I'm so happy! ❤️

Classification: scenarios

ZAYNE ❄️

You didn't want to admit it, but you were sick. During the day you felt a little sore in your throat and your nose was stuffy. Arriving at Zayne's house after work, it was more than obvious that you had a fever. Your face was red and the chills running through your body made you shiver. 

There was nothing else to do, you would miss work tomorrow to fully recover. Furthermore, with the care of your loving doctor, you knew you'd be fine in no time. So you quickly took a shower and after drying your hair, you grabbed a blanket and curled up on the couch with a cold patch on your forehead, waiting for Zayne patiently. 

To your surprise, he arrived at a normal time and your heart vibrated with joy when you saw him enter. He had his head low as he stepped out of his shoes and closed the door behind him. 

"Zayne! Welcome back! How was your day?” You greeted him as he shrugged his coat off. “Guess what," you said, giggling softly because it was quite obvious by your funny voice that you were sick. "I got a little sick after yesterday's ra- 

You jumped a little when Zayne suddenly groaned, whipping his head up to look at you. “Oh my Lord,” he said, annoyed. “Can't you see I'm fucking tired? You do not know when you shut your damned mouth? I can't stand you! Why are you so clingy?” 

Your eyes widened and your face turned bright red. Your mind went blank and you didn't notice the tears streaming down your face until Zayne's face changed from complete anger to guilt. He looked at you from the door as if he didn't know what had happened just now. He didn't recognize himself. How did he dare to talk to you like that when you-

He gasped softly, “you're sick.”

You tried to clean your tears with your hands as you got up from the couch. Zayne made an attempt to come close to you, but you quickly ran to the bedroom only to come back after a couple of minutes with your shoes and coat on. 

“Excuse me,” you said, as you approached the door. 

“What? Where are you going like this? You need to rest.”

You nodded, trying to keep some distance from him. “I know. I'll rest back home. So please move.”

“Stay here. I'll take care of you,” he grabbed your hand and more tears fell down. How could he talk so sweetly right now after what he said. 

You shook your head, pulling your hand away and pushing him aside so you could open the door. “I don't need you, Zayne. Not when you can't stand me.”

“I was wrong, please.”

“I was wrong too. Goodbye, Zayne.”

XAVIER ⭐

“My poor Xavier,” you mumbled, gently cleaning a wound in Xavier's side. You winced when he did and your heart broke. You knew perfectly well that this could happen because of his line of work, but you felt terrible every time he came home hurt. “Oh, Xav, is it too painful?” You asked as you started to bandage him. 

He shook his head, breathing heavily and resting his head against the pillow on his bed. “It could be worse. Thank you for helping out.” 

“No need to thank me,” you said, smiling at him as you placed a tender and loving hand over his now bandaged wound. “I wish you didn't have to do this. It's so dangerous.” 

Your words had no poison. You clearly didn't want Xavier to suffer in any way. Why couldn't he have a regular, safe job? Maybe he's just strong because he has to protect everyone. You said those words from the bottom of your warm heart, so you were more than surprised to hear Xavier's response:

“What? Are you saying I'm weak?” He spat and you blinked. 

“N-No! I'm just saying that I wish you had another job because- 

“Is that so? So you rather have a bunch of wanderers attacking innocent people? Just because you don't want me to get hurt?” 

“It's- It's not like that! I never said that. I just get worried sick for you and-

“Maybe I should really stop, huh? Just turn a blind eye to everything that's happening like egoist people like you di.”

He just kept vomiting out words, one harsher than the last. Every time you tried to speak and fix this misunderstanding, his irrational words drowned out your voice and it made something heavy and nauseating settle in your stomach. This was not going to end well in any way. 

“Xavier, my love, please listen to me. I do not- 

“Maybe one day a wanderer will actually kill you. And believe me, I won't even bat an eye at you,” he said, crossing his arms and turning his head away from you. 

Your eyes had never filled with tears as quickly as that moment. Your body began to shake with suppressed sobs as you felt heat and disappointment throughout your body. Did Xavier just... wish for your death? And in the hands of a creature as horrible as a wanderer? 

“Oh no,” he suddenly said and you flinched when you felt his touch against your cheek. “I am so, so sorry.” You cried a little harder before getting up from his bed. “W-Wait, my star. Please, I'm sorry.”

No words came out. You simply grabbed your bag and left the room.

He called your name and then groaned in pain as he tried to move. “Pl-please, come back! Where-

You couldn't hear more of his words as you closed the door of his apartment. Did this mean the end? You truly thought so. 

Rafayel 🐠

"Ah, welcome back, Rafayel!" The amount of excitement that rushed through your body whenever your eyes landed on him was almost overwhelming. It wasn't that you hadn't seen him in a long time, but a second without him felt like a century. 

His eyes, usually warm and sparkling, looked cold and even angry at seeing you in his house. "Hello," he said dryly as he closed the door behind him. You frowned slightly. "What are you doing here?" 

"Hmm, nothing much. I just wanted to visit you. Is that alright?" 

He sighed, placing a paper bag on the table. "Yeah, sure. I gave you a key after all."

You cleared your throat, nodding awkwardly. "Did... you have a good day?" 

He sighed again and shook his head as he stepped out of his shoes. "I didn't. It was terrible for the very first moment I opened my eyes. You see," he started and you nodded, listening carefully. "I overslept so I lost precious time for my painting. Then I didn't have time to eat so I didn't eat anything but a piece of bread."

You immediately got up to make dinner for him, maybe after eating he'd feel better? 

"And the worst thing was," he said, collapsing onto his couch. "I couldn't find my emerald green paint so I had to go all the way to the art store and get a new one! Ugh!" 

You blinked, frowning a little. "Your emerald green?" 

"That's what I said."

"Hmm, I'm very sure I put it in all of your greens?" You left the ingredients aside as you walked to the paints. "Here it is." 

He got up and looked at you with an astonished expression. Confusion quickly turned into anger and he was yelling at you in a second. "Why didn't you tell me?!"

"You saw me last night!" You explained, carefully leaving the paint back in place. "You said you wanted your paints to be more organized and I asked you if I could help you out! You even told me you liked how I organized it by colors!" 

Rafayel let out a frustrated sigh as a hand carded through his hair. "I can't believe I just lost all of that precious time because of your stupid mistake!"

"Excuse me?"

"Every time you try to help, you just mess things up! Can't you keep your little hands to yourself for once? I was just stupid for letting you help me out! You are way too much, I can't stand you sometimes.”

You were stunned. He had never said anything like that about you, you couldn't even remember other times when you wanted to help him and you ruined it. Besides, it wasn't your fault. The green paint was there all along and he just hadn't taken the time to look for it properly.

You knew it wasn't your fault, but his harsh words and the anger and hatred in his eyes were too much. Tears quickly filled your eyes and began to fall down your reddened cheeks. 

Rafayel realized his mistake a bit too late. Letting out a gasp as he watched the first tear fall, he hurriedly approached you, but you backed away, putting space between the two of you. He couldn't say anything, too surprised by his own words.

What was just a moment seemed like minutes, endless hours with deafening silence. Only your sobs echoed around the entire house, until your voice, small and trembling, made him jump. 

“I won't touch your stuff again, Rafayel,” you said softly, avoiding his eyes. 

“N-No, I didn't mean-

You nod, “if you don't mind, I'll sleep in your guest room. Goodnight, Rafayel.”

Deep inside you so desperately wanted him to stop you, but he watched you disappear into the hall and never called you back.

You knew it was going to be a very cold night.