#Part 4: Thirty-Six Views

[majestyeverlasting]

𝐬𝐨 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐢𝐭 𝐡𝐮𝐫𝐭𝐬 | 𝐣𝐨𝐞𝐥 𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐫

Pairing Joel Miller x Daughter Reader

Summary For years, you’ve survived tethered to Joel’s side, haunted by the loss of your sister and scared to step outside of his shadow. So when he bonds with the girl he’s tasked to smuggle, it strains your complicated relationship—until the threat of losing him forces you to confront just how much he means to you [angst, fluff, 5.4k].

A/N This is some of my favorite prose I've written recently. Daughter!reader is a new dynamic for me, but it was such a rewarding writing experience. Thank you to the anon who sent this request in. I hope you all enjoy.

∘°∘♡∘°∘

𝐒𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆

It’s cold outside today. If the draft sneaking in through the windows isn’t enough to let on, the sky itself is an undeniable sign. There’s no blue, no clouds that can be distinguished from the next. The entire expanse is a pale white sheet. As if the heavens have decided to shield earth from its view because of how far it’s fallen. 

Nevertheless, life in the Boston Quarantine Zone labors on. Day after soulless day, rain or shine. Like a well-oiled machine who’s battered parts of flesh and blood refuse to lay down and die. 

The glass of the living room window is cool against your forehead as you gaze outside. Everything is dull. Brick, metal, concrete, and endless earthtones constitute the expanse of buildings that seemingly stretch for miles. However, after having explored every corner of this walled city, you know it’s finite. A mere portion of a much larger world trying to find its footing again. 

The people walking on the sidewalks below look small from the height of your apartment. All seeming to move on a droning autopilot, clad in worn clothes that likely belonged to ten other people before them. 

With a sigh, you step away from the window and plop back down on the couch. The coffee table is cluttered with stained, old papers and trinkets, but you reach for the stack of Polaroids you’d previously been flipping through. Each photo and caption transports you back to a past moment in time...

tea for two ♡ March 13, 2003 

A day that seems closer than it actually is, now confined to a single, glossy frame. The white border has faded to beige and the picture itself no longer bears its original saturation. In it, you and Sarah are wrapped in each other’s arms, dressed like princesses for the tea party you invited her to. 

You were her three-year-old shadow, and even though you got on her nerves half the time, she found it hard to say no to you. Everybody in the Miller household did. 

lake day!!! July 4, 2003 

A sunny day. You, Sarah, and Joel are squinting into the light but smiling, your backs to the lake. Later that night, according to Joel’s retelling, you cried because of the colorful, celebratory explosions bursting amid the night sky. 

dad’s getting old (jk ily dad) September 26, 2003

Joel’s smile is shy as he sits at the kitchen table with a cone birthday hat on his head. Sarah was the one behind the lens while you clung to her leg, both you and Tommy making goofy faces in hopes of making Joel smile wider. 

He turned thirty-six that day. By that evening, everything had changed. Not just because of the outbreak, but because Sarah, who had been a light in so many of the photos, was gone too. A few months after her fourteenth birthday, no less. 

It feels strange being twenty-three now. An age she never got to see—

The faint metallic clinking of a belt being fastened prompts you to curiously stand to your feet. After setting down the photos, you saunter to the hallway, where there’s a straight view to Joel’s bedroom. The door is cracked, and warm lamplight pours out to light the end of the hall. With each step closer you take, the old, wooden floorboards creak. 

When you make it to the door, you rap your knuckles against it a few soft times. There’s shuffling on the other side. 

You knock again when there’s no response. “Dad?” 

“What’s up?” he doesn’t say it in a clipped, annoyed way so you know he hadn’t heard your previous knocking. 

“Can I come in?” 

He’s quiet for a beat. “I’m finishing up getting dressed. But yeah.”

Inside, the bed still isn’t made. He’s standing in front of the full body mirror leaning against the wall. The paint of the gold trim around it is peeling, revealing the dark aluminum beneath. The glass itself is a bit foggy with stubborn grime that refuses to be scrubbed away. And right in the middle, at the same height that Joel stands, is a sizable spiderweb crack that makes his face look fragmented unless he bends down or shifts to either the left or right. 

Right now, he doesn’t seem to mind the distortion of his face, more interested in assessing his clothes. When you step up behind him, a little to the right, your entire body looks whole. Face and all. 

His eyes briefly flick to you as he continues to button the rest of his olive colored shirt. When he’s finished, he sucks in his stomach and pushes down the waistband of his dark jeans to rest at a more comfortable place on his hips. 

It isn’t until then that you notice a small portion of the back of his shirt is flipped up, the fabric thick enough to hold its place. You reach out to smooth it down. Joel hums in realization. 

“Thanks,” he mumbles. 

“Yep,” you murmur. “I thought you were off today.” 

Turning around and brushing past you, he sits in the accent chair to put on his boots. A grunt escapes him with the effort of leaning down. You watch as his thick, battered fingers fumble with the laces until they produce two neat bows. He sits back with a sigh when he’s done, running a hand through his fluffy, silvering hair. 

“I’m meeting with Marlene,” he says. The way you frown tells him that’s not a good thing, or nearly enough information. “Tess will be there too. It’s looking like we might be able to get that car battery we need to set out for Tommy.” 

You process that information with a slow nod. The idea of finding him feels elusive these days. 

A few weeks ago, Marlene told Joel she knew a couple guys who could provide resources. At various points in the months prior, she claimed the very same thing. Every promise she made fell flat because those said contacts either died or backed out of the negotiation. Yet, Joel held out hope every time. 

It used to be you who accompanied him whenever he went to meet with Marlene, but it’d gotten to the point where you couldn’t bring yourself to believe her or stand seeing her face. 

But Joel still did. For the sake of his own conscience. For Tommy. 

After standing from the chair, he fishes into his back pocket for a red cardstock meal card. When you reach out to take it from him, he doesn’t let go, instead opting to look directly into your eyes. 

“Want you to meet us for lunch at the northern dining commons at noon. We should be done by then,” he says, waiting for you to nod so he knows you’re tracking. 

“Don’t leave before then, alright? It’s getting crazier out there. Don’t know if it’s ‘cause summer’s coming or what.” 

“I won’t,” you insist. 

When you try to take the card again, he holds onto it just for the sake of coaxing a smile out of you. It doesn’t quite meet your eyes, but it’s enough to tie him over for now. He lets go of it just as you’re in the middle of pulling, and the lack of resistance makes you stumble backwards. The sound of amusement he huffs out earns him a light punch to the shoulder. 

“I mean it, though.” He points a finger. “Don’t leave till it’s time, alright? We’ll fill you in on everything then.” 

Rolling your eyes, you follow him back out into the living room. “I already said I wouldn’t.” 

“Well, reiterating is my job.” 

Those are the words he leaves you with before heading out the door.  

A few hours later, when the clock strikes twelve, you’re eating at the dining commons alone. Anxiousness prickles beneath your skin. You soothe yourself as chatter and the clinking of silverware float up all around you��

Everything’s fine. Joel’s alright. Tess is alright. Just finish eating and go home. 

•••

Sunset paints the sky that evening. The clouds that lingered all day have finally made way for an expressionist ombre of blue, pink, and orange. It's beautiful in a way that would’ve been worth photographing once upon a time. 

All you can think about is the fact that Joel hasn’t returned. 

A little past seven, voices arise in the hallway. They’re hushed and somewhat frustrated, one of them undeniably belonging to Joel. By the time keys hastily begin jingling in the door, you’re popping to your feet from the couch. A second later, it swings open with enough force that it hits the neighboring wall. 

“Get inside,” Joel orders. You can’t see him from where you’re standing. 

You can’t see anybody. 

“I don’t have to keep listening to you,” quips a tight, youthful voice. “Whatever happened to stranger danger?”  

“Move, Ellie,” Joel says. “Before I make you.” 

A young girl wearing a backpack trudges into the apartment with a scowl. After looking around the bleak accommodation, her eyes settle on you. The air falls silent. You note the wispy flyaways escaping her short ponytail, the slight redness to her eyes like she’s been either crying or rubbing them. 

Ellie sizes you up in return. You can see it in the calculated rove of her dark gaze, the way she squares her shoulder to match your guardedness. 

She eventually whips her attention back to Joel. “Who the hell is she?” 

“Told you I didn’t live alone.” That’s all he gives her before redirecting his attention to you. He seldom reveals the entirety of what he’s feeling in a given moment, but you can see the guilt weighing down on his shoulders. “I—” 

“You missed lunch.” 

He runs a heavy hand down his face. “I know.” 

The girl looks between the two of you with owl-like attentiveness that borders on amusement. At least she wasn’t the only one having a shitty day. Outside, shouting voices arise in the distance. Glass bottles break. 

“Dad. You wanna tell me what’s going on?”

Ellie’s eyes widen at the revelation. 

Joel doesn’t say anything because you’re staring daggers straight into his very being.  

“I’m immune to the virus,” she speaks up. There’s a hint of pride in her tone, like she’s looking past the present to some undefined future in which she saves the world.  

“He’s gonna take me to the people who can find the cure. Then you guys are gonna go find Timmy or whatever—Tommy.”  

It’s an oversimplification, but Joel doesn’t have the energy to expound right now. Not when you look like you would lunge for him if it wasn’t for the girl.

••• 

Later that night, he sees the first shove coming. Your eyes darken until you’re no longer able to constrain your frustration to a mere look. It frustrates you all the more when he doesn’t budge. So you do it again, pushing both your hands straight into his chest. 

All he does is take a single step backwards to create distance, hands raised in surrender. The fact that he isn’t reacting makes more heat consume your face. 

Until, finally, he grabs your wrists. 

“Are you done acting like a child?” he asks.

“As soon as you quit treating me like one,” you bark. “All you do is give orders and break promises, and I’m supposed to keep following you around like a dog.” 

“I don’t see any shackles.”

“Because it’s you,” you retort, attempting to pull away from his light hold. “You’re the shackles, the prison guard, and the key.” 

Those words make him drop your wrists as if you’ve stung him with poison. He takes a seat on the edge of his bed and drops his head into his hands with a heavy sigh. The mattress creaks under his weight. In the new silence, you stand and stare at him as your breaths even out. 

Neither of you are aware that Ellie has her ear pressed to the other side of the bedroom door, listening. 

When he lifts his head, only then are you aware of how tired and worn down he looks. His hair is more disheveled than it was this morning. The same hair you used to playfully run your fingers through and litter with sparkly hair clips. Except now, his face is void of a smile. 

“I’m sorry about lunch, alright?” His dark eyes search yours for any inkling of forgiveness. He knows he scared you. That’s what’s beneath your anger. “I didn’t know I was gonna get held up like that.” 

Joel Miller was a lot of things, but a pushover wasn’t one of them. 

If he really wanted to, he could’ve at least come to the dining commons to explain. Or ignore Marlene’s request entirely, and force her to find someone else to smuggle the girl. Even Tess had refused to involve herself in the escape plan because she feared it would be all risk and no reward.

“What happens if these guys turn out to be dead too?” You ask Joel, voice softer than before. “What if this is yet another exchange that falls through?” 

He knows you have a point. He also knows he has a brother out there miles away who recently sent him a signal. 

“If there’s a chance, I gotta take it,” he says. “And if we get out there and nobody’s waiting for us, we’re heading to Wyoming anyway.” He meets your gaze. 

You swallow and blink in surprise. “Really?” 

“I’m done waiting around for the right time,” he says, voice low but firm. “It’s never gonna come. Gotta forge it ourselves.” 

He sounds sure. Right now, you could use something to believe in. And if nothing else, a change of scenery from the city walls you’ve been confined within for far too long. 

•••

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐄𝐑

𝐈.

The Capitol Building is empty when you arrive, no sight of the men who were supposed to take Ellie and give you and Joel the supplies you need to carry on. For a while, the three of you linger hopefully on the inside, where grass grows through the chipped marble floors. The only people who eventually arrive are ridden with the virus, their rotting bodies infested with fungus from the inside out. 

You promptly flee the scene after swallowing disappointment like a pill. 

𝐈𝐈.

The front door of Bill and Frank’s house is unlocked when you arrive in the desolate suburbia. Dead grass and tall weeds constitute the yard. The flower beds out front have long wilted. That’s enough for you to know that they’re either dead or gone. Joel pushes into the house anyway, with you and Ellie trailing behind. Bill left a note behind. They’re dead. Ellie asks questions about them that Joel thoughtfully answers.

The three of you take turns showering, then leave.

𝐈𝐈𝐈.

By early August, the trio feels more like a unit, having been bound together by shared letdowns and long nights under the stars. Some days, you don’t know where you are until coming across specific landmarks or recognizable cliffs. You and Joel teach Ellie how to shoot because she wouldn’t stop begging. Most days, as you’re making progress towards Wyoming, it’s the two of you trailing behind Joel, who often shoots unreadable glances over his shoulder to make sure you’re keeping up. 

Sometimes he lets down his walls to offer a small smile. 

•••

𝐅𝐀𝐋𝐋

All around, tall trees stretch towards the sky, bearing vibrant leaves beginning to change colors. Every so often, a breeze rolls through and ruffles them. The same mourning dove has been calling out into the wind with no response in return. It’s a tune that filled the mornings of your childhood back when you were on the road to Boston with Joel. You hadn’t heard it much since. 

Twigs and leaves crunch beneath your boots as you squat to lower your fingertips into the creek. The water is cool against your skin, and clear enough to see the rocks at the bottom. When you stand up, you startle at the sight of Ellie standing a few yards away. She takes a few apologetic steps back, almost tripping over herself. 

Further away, Joel sits with his back propped against a tree as he reorganizes the contents of his backpack. 

“Jesus, El,” you sigh, pressing a hand to your chest over your heart. 

Ellie no longer seems sure of her reason for approaching you. There were times when she didn’t look her age—whether it be her stare or the way she carried herself—but this wasn’t one. Now, an air of self-consciousness surrounds her, like she’s caught between knowing nothing and everything all at once. 

“I didn’t mean to scare you. I thought you heard me,” she rushes out. There’s a pang of guilt when you realize she thinks you’re angry. 

“No, it’s fine,” you insist, softening your tone. “I’ve just been in my head.” 

She nods and feels more comfortable to step up alongside you. 

“I’ve seen those pictures you’ve been looking at.” She continues when you don’t say anything, “Was that your sister?” 

Neither you or Joel have brought her up, but your silence is an answer. 

“What was she like?” 

“I don’t remember much.” 

Only bits and pieces. The larger gaps have been filled in by Joel over the years. He never talks about Sarah at length, but sometimes he’ll see something or you’ll make an expression that reminds him of her. That usually prompted him to tell a short story. Oftentimes, without meeting your eyes because he was too busy trying to busy his restless hands. Talking about her always makes him fidget. 

“I’m sorry,” she says. “I know what it’s like to lose someone.” 

Ignoring her, you ask, “Did Joel say when we were gonna start back hiking?” 

Embarrassed, Ellie clears her throat and shakes her head no. “Why do you use his first name like that?” You almost hadn’t realized. 

“Force of habit.” Her brows have furrowed in confusion, so you explain, “Half the time, people in the QZ only listened to me when I threw his name in the mix. It holds a lot of weight among certain groups these days.” 

“Like he’s the boogeyman or something?”

You allow a small chuckle to escape at her words. She feels like it earns her a place back in your good graces. Pride glimmers in the grin that stretches across her face. 

“Something like that,” you agree. 

The familiar crunch of leaves rises as Joel makes the short venture over to the two of you. When he sees the fleeting smiles on your faces, he clears his throat and waits to see if he’ll be invited into whatever small moment of amusement had arisen. He seems to have just missed it. 

“Speaking of the devil,” Ellie says, 

Joel frowns, remaining quiet as he walks up to the edge of the creek. He stares into the bottom for a few thoughtful seconds. Both of you watch as he squats down to splash his face with water, humming with refreshment. 

Ellie no sooner moves to copy him. She laughs, a bubbly surprised sound, as she stands with her face dripping and eyes squeezed shut.

“Wait, how do I—” 

“Use your shirt,” Joel quips lightly. 

“Oh, yeah!” She uses her shirt to dry her eyes just as he had.

The chuckle that rumbles through Joel’s chest is a sound you haven’t heard in a while. It makes you stand up straighter, unconsciously shifting his way as if the sound has the power to heal that part of you that misses him even when he’s within reach. Misses how things were before he grew hard and consumed with the need to survive. 

You didn’t fault him for it, though. 

What’s become increasingly clear, however, is that need was born as much out of spite as it was out of the pure, unadulterated will to live. The end of the world took Sarah, and to Joel, ensuring the two of you endured no matter what was his fuck you to the universe. His proof that everything he cared about couldn’t be ripped from his hands. It was a muddled labor of love. 

But right here, right now, he’s laughing. Not urging silence or trying to instill a survival lesson. He’s letting the moment wash over him for what it is. There you stand watching the two of them like a mere onlooker frozen in place. The entire scene is reminiscent of a different time. A different Joel. 

Something heavy and bitter settles in your stomach at the sight of their twin smiles. 

“Are you gonna try it?” Ellie asks like she’s referring to some grand experience.

“It’s just water,” you say flatly. 

Face falling, Ellie looks to the ground as if the bridge connecting you two had been burned yet again. Something protective flares in Joel’s chest. 

He gives you a pointed look. “You feelin’ alright?” 

“I’m great. Grand even.” 

The air shifts, levity disappearing like a vapor. All three of you can feel it.

“Let’s keep moving then.”

For weeks, you keep it moving. Through rain, shine, and snow. The closer you get to Wyoming, the further away you drift from Ellie and Joel. Like you’re the corner piece of an island that’s been chipped away from the larger landmass. 

𝐖𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑

Arriving at the Jackson commune does little to mend things back to the way they were. Some days pass by with more conversation and laughter between the three of you than others. Coming here had been the very thing you longed for, right alongside Joel. But tonight, as you fold clothes at the secondhand store where you volunteer, you wonder what there is to dream about now. 

You don’t know what you like or want. You were so young when the outbreak began that Joel’s practices and motivations became your own. You don’t know where he ends and you begin, and the inability to distinguish makes a part of you resent him. 

The bells above the door jingle as Ellie enters with her backpack slung over her shoulder. Half of her hair is pulled into a ponytail, while the other falls in loose waves just past her shoulders. For once, it looks like she brushed it properly. 

You see more of her than Joel these days. 

“Hey, I’m gonna go over to Dina’s,” she says as she pads over to you. “Joel’s not home yet so I figured I’d come tell you.” She absentmindedly runs her hand over the cashmere sweater you’d folded minutes prior to her arrival. 

You set down the pair of jeans you just finished folding. “He’s not?” 

“No,” she says, unphased. “Probably went straight to the dining hall.” 

A dull, gnawing sense of worry arises in your chest. Ellie can’t see it or feel it herself, still tending to believe Joel was somehow invincible. That every time he went out for patrol, he was bound to return because that’s what he’d proven to her so far. 

“Be safe, okay?” you tell her. “Thanks for letting me know.” 

When she leaves, you head to the store owner in the back room. He’s rummaging through a huge box of donated items. 

“Hey, Stewart?��

There’s a click as two glasses knock into one another. “Goddammit—what?” He straightens up to turn around and face you. 

He has a head full of wiry gray hair and his glasses are crooked on his nose. There’s a light sheen of sweat beading on his forehead. 

“You alright back here?” you tease lightly. He grumbles and waves you off. “Would it be okay if I clocked out early? Natalie and Craig are out there, so you’ll still have help until closing.” It’s been pretty slow this evening anyways. No chance a random rush would occur. 

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever you want, kid.” He huffs and looks back down at the box. “I’ll see you on Thursday.” 

“You’re the best, Stew.” You flash him a playful smile. 

Outside, you shiver at how cold it’s grown. Crossing your arms over your chest does little to alleviate the creeping chill. The first snow of the season has yet to fall, but you can feel it lingering in the crisp air. Nevertheless, Jackson Hole is buzzing. People of all ages flit in and out of shops and gathering spaces. Everywhere you look, there’s a friendly face, if not an actual friend. 

This time of year, the entire commune is reminiscent of those cute Christmas village displays. Plush wreaths with red bows hang on wooden posts, and colorful fairy lights shine all around. The most activity buzzes over at the dining hall. Families talk and laugh on the benches outside, and you can see people walking around inside through the windows. 

As you head that way, the two men standing on the patrol office porch capture your attention. It was probable that Joel was inside either logging or assessing his hours. 

When you make it to the building, you recognize the taller man as Cameron, someone who often partnered with Joel because they had the same, collected, no-nonsense way about them. They automatically nod to you in greeting, but their lips are set in firm lines like they have news you don’t. 

You offer a shaky smile back as a lump forms in your throat, “Evening.” 

Your heart rate speeds up as Cameron opens the door for you. Inside, six men stand circled around Tommy, who’s tone is firm as he talks with his hands. Some have rifles slung over their shoulders, and others have pistols on their hips. Standing among the group is Lyle, a younger guy who was scheduled to be Joel’s partner today. 

The only person missing is Joel. 

You allow your eyes to rove over the plaques, portraits, and retired weaponry decorating the walls as you await the end of Tommy’s lecture.  

“Let what happened out there today be a lesson—” Tommy stops talking when his eyes fall on you, and other heads turn to look your way. A few throats are cleared, necks are scratched. 

“Hold on a second, fellas.” He breaks out of the circle and heads towards you, cowboy boots clunking against the wood floorboards. There’s a rifle draped across his body like he’s ready for action. 

“Hey, sweetheart,” he says softly, reaching out to squeeze your shoulder. He doesn’t have to say anything for you to gather what this meeting is all about. Everybody has discretely turned to look at the two of you. 

“Tommy…” 

“Why don’t we step outside for a second, yeah?” He places a gentle hand at the small of your back to guide you back out into the cold. Cameron and his buddy slip inside out of respect for your privacy. 

“What’s going on, Tommy?” 

He wrestles with how to answer. You see it in his dark eyes, the way he shifts his stance. His cheeks are a bit flushed. 

“Joel hasn’t made it back,” he breathes. “Lyle made it in without him around an hour ago. Said they ran into some disgruntled nomads and got split up,” he says. “Got a few people out looking for him now, and I’m about to go out myself.” 

How foolish you’ve been acting these past several weeks hits you all at once. Everything from purposely distancing yourself from Joel, to occasionally ignoring him whenever he tried to ask how you’ve been—you’d made a point to be away from the house as much as possible. Most of all, it’d been foolish to pretend he wasn’t one of the only people in the world you wouldn’t be able to live without.

A stinging sensation pricks in your eyes, but no tears form. You don’t have it in you to cry. Helplessness crashes down on you in the form of frustration. 

“What do you mean came back without him?” you ask. “What good are patrol partners if they’re just gonna leave you behind—” 

“Hey. Hey.” Tommy looks at you intently. His eyes are so much like Joel’s that you look away. “This ain’t the time to be pointing fingers, alright? When you’re out there like that and shit hits the fan, you don’t know how you’ll react.” 

“Definitely not by leaving my partner behind.” 

Joel had never left you behind. Things had gone sideways time after time again, but you managed to remain by each other’s side. 

Worry radiates off of you in waves. 

“I’m worried out my ass too,” Tommy admits, trying to assure you. “But judging other people ain’t gonna bring him back any faster,” he says. 

When you release a heavy exhale and slink your head down, Tommy steps forwards to wrap his arms around you. 

“It’s gonna be okay,” he promises. “You eaten dinner yet?” 

“I’ll probably throw up if I do.” 

He pulls away to look at you under the soft glow of the porchlight. “Let’s at least try to get a little something in your system, okay? I’ll walk you over to the dining hall.” Tommy guides you that way, and everything around you seems to fade in and out as you walk. 

Tommy’s words manage to break through to you, “I know my brother. He’ll make it back one way or another,” 

He always did. Maybe a bite to eat didn’t sound so bad. 

•••

The unyielding weight of your nerves forces sleep to find you when you make it home. Not in your bed, but on the couch as you sit and wait for Joel’s return. Worrying has taken a lot out of you. 

Creaky footsteps arise out on the porch. Then the lock clicks. Neither of which you register. By the time Joel is walking in through the front door, your eyes flutter open. There’s a slight sway to his stride like he’s favoring one leg. Other than that, he’s still in one piece. You’re on your feet in an instant, ignoring the crick in your neck. 

“Oh my god, Dad—thank god.” 

Joel stops in his tracks as you hurry over to him. He lets you look him over as if he’s a child who just fell off a bike. 

“Hey, sweetheart,” there’s a rasp to his voice.  

Relief is written all over your face. It’s the most interest you’ve shown in him in weeks, but he’s grateful for it anyways. He’s grateful for any mind you’re willing to pay him. 

There’s so much you want to say—I thought I lost you, don’t scare me like that again, I love you—but none of it comes out. Instead, it’s all packed into the way you step forward to throw your arms around him. 

But even hugging him doesn’t bring you close enough. 

Luckily, he’s so tall and broad that you settle for the feeling of being safe, cocooned in his arms. He squeezes you, not in the playful way that used to be a means of making you smile, but in a way that solidifies his presence. Assures you that he’s never going to let go. That you don’t have to worry about living without him.

As your tears wet his shirt, he doesn’t ease up or pull away. He remains constant like he’s been throughout your entire life, even on the days you thought you wanted him to disappear. 

He presses a lingering kiss to the top of your head and you’re overcome with warmth.  

“I love you to pieces,” his voice is low and thick with sincerity. “So much it hurts.” 

It’s you who reluctantly pulls away to look up into his eyes. 

“I love you too,” you murmur, cheeks glistening with tears. 

The tears gathered in his eyes finally spill over. He doesn't turn away or tilt his head back in an attempt to fend them off. They simply roll down his cheeks at your words. You can’t recall seeing him cry since Sarah passed away. Guilt, sympathy, and gratitude swell in your chest. For the years he’s been strong for the both of you, for everyone who’s ever leaned on him in a time of need. He never made it look hard. 

“Thank you,” you whisper. “For everything. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry—” 

“As long as you’re safe, I can handle being ignored.” He manages a small, sad smile. “It ain’t easy growing up during the end of the world.” Few things ever were. 

“It’s a little easier with you.” 

“Just a little?” He asks lightly. 

Both your smiles grow, and as you step back into his arms, every gripe and the chaotic events of the evening fade away.

- 

Thank you so much for reading! Likes, comments, and reblogs are always appreciated. I promise I see them all. 

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[typewritingyip]

The Arcturus Missions

Part Thirty Six - Reprieve

Part Thirty Five

———

Arcturus mission log, update eight, time frame between seven and fourteen months post launch.

Limited contact with the crew, mission trajectory nominal. 

…

Classified document, code required.

Access granted.

Arcturus crew one has been labeled as MIA, since July 24th with no contact. Connection number increasing, now estimated at 17 years, 4 months, 16 days, 7 hours, and 10 minutes. Counting up.

Life support across suits was last labeled as stable, updated two months ago.

Relay satellite has launched, estimated contact, unknown.

Pilots projected to be living, food supplies expected to run out within the initial six months, adjustment required. 

Contact with pilots, not anticipated, mission labeled inconclusive failure.

…

Disconnecting from the server.

—

To be perfectly honest, he knew he’d drank far too much last night. Hound had at least been smart about it, taking a small amount and hardly finishing it. No, he had wanted to try the twins' liquor and now was facing the consequences.

His head was killing him, even in the dark comfort of the bedroom, a set of snorers nearby just caused enough sound to be painful.

It had to be after sunrise sometime, though days in Iacon seemed both longer and shorter than they did on Earth. At least now that they’d seen half of the seasons the strange planet had to offer.

Sliding off the cott, Breakdown held his face in one of his hands, stumbling towards the door. A cool shower would do him some good and he knew it, maybing a cooling pack too, yeah that could feel nice.

Notably, the normal cybertronian presence was not in the room which wasn’t entirely abnormal. Prowl was a busy mech, one that would come and go without fanfare to the point it was hard to tell if he were there or not. Though if Jazz was sleeping, he tried to be nearby. 

When the door slid open, the light was painful and he winced. Holding a hand in front of his eyes, Breakdown shuffled into the living room.

Not really noticing the two mecha sat there, both watching his pained movement in shock. 

Prowl was staring at him and was at a loss for words, from what Jazz said none of them were really meant to be alive in the morning. It had been a figure of speech but none of the humans were meant to be up before mid-day at least.

Dragging a hand down his face, Breakdown groans and glances around, frowning a bit, “De miy kostyum?” He looks up and freezes like a deer caught in headlights, Prowl’s optics cycle twice, trying to process what he said while Soundwave continued to just stare. 

It was bad enough that Sunstreaker had been caught out of his suit on a mission in front of Bluestreak, but Bluestreak was a drop in the bucket something that was bound to happen. Being out of the suit in front of Soundwave was probably the worst case scenario. 

His suit was nowhere in view, his assistance suit with it, along with his translator. Even as the pair started to speak he couldn’t even remotely tell what they were saying. Shuffling out of the room was not going to be possible, the way Soundwave seemed to be watching every move even behind his visor. 

Taking in a slow breath, he turned to go back towards the bathroom, his head still aching especially as his heart raced.

He was only stopped by Soundwave’s foot falling into his path, he stared up slowly, taking another slow breath, “I need through.” His voice was still rough, but at least Prowl understood, who was now standing behind him, talking with Soundwave.

This conversation was starting to feel very one sided. 

The yelp he let out through was not a sound he’d typically make, Prowl’s hands were strangely rough as they hoisted him up into the air and to eye level with them both, “Breakdown, I apologize for the miscommunication. Jazz stated that you all would, well, be sleeping like the dead for quite some time.” His world was spinning unpleasantly. 

“Normally, I would be, but they are snoring.” Prowl nods a bit and looks to Soundwave, saying something else incomprehensible before raising his voice to the mech, it was like a bat striking the base of his skull. Unpleasantly loud and far too close, “Please, my head. I am simply trying to get my suit.” With a light jossel he was set back down behind Soundwave, the bathroom door open.

Stepping inside, the door was closed behind him. It was painfully bright in the bathroom but at least his suit was in here, though it wouldn’t help with the explanation it would at least help with some of the understanding. He shuffled over painfully.

—

To be fair, Prowl honestly did think that the humans were going to be asleep for a while, so to watch Breakdown walk out of the room, clearly in pain, was not in his plan. Especially since Soundwave had insisted on them talking this morning in person. 

He had no idea what the poor dying man said, but Soundwave was entirely too focused, “Soundwave.” Prowl tried, standing and following him as he attempted to block Breakdown from reaching the refresher. 

Grabbing up Breakdown was instinct, the sound Soundwave had made was far too familiar. Either the sound of deep interest or the noise when he laid eyes on his cassettes, neither was a good thing. 

Ignoring Breakdown in his grasp, Prowl leveled his gaze at Soundwave, “Soundwave, this is not something to be looked over or asked about, let him into the refresher, then we will talk.” Shaking his head slowly, Soundwave shifted his stance some, “No. Soundwave: want to know why Prowl is harboring an organic.” Prowl tried very hard not to roll his optics.

With a glance back to Breakdown, he vented, talking quietly to the man in English. The poor man looked sick, clearly feeling unwell. Listening to him for a moment before nodding and looking back to Soundwave.

”Soundwave, you need to let him through. Once he is able to obtain his suit we will be able to speak more clearly.” Soundwave shook his helm slightly, “Soundwave: concerned, why there is an organic here. Iacon is not safe for organic beings.” Gritting his denta lightly, Prowl sucked in a vent.

He couldn’t help it, these were Jazz’s friends, those who served as his brothers in arms, shaking his helm, “I will explain, but he is in pain and needs his suit!” His other servo reached out and activated the door lock as Breakdown spoke again. His voice was pained.

Prowl, shoving around Soundwave, set Breakdown behind him in the refresher before closing the door again, turning back to a glowering Soundwave. He straightened and glared right back, “These organics are under my protection.” Soundwave’s visor cycled slowly, “Organics? Prowl: remarked in the plural?” Cycling his own optics, Prowl swore.

—

New Kaon was really something else, if Sunstreaker thought that Iacon was an interesting place then the culture shock of New Kaon was staggering. 

When they first came to the planet, it had just been for the fight, a there and gone sort of day. Like his first trip to New York, that had been a chaotic few days but this had been such a fast turn around it wasn’t even funny. 

Now though, they were able to walk through the city together. Bluestreak was just as excited, not having seen New Kaon this close before either. Walking side by side and hand in hand, it was almost like they were getting some time off.

Truthfully, they were meant to be monitoring the system but it was off shift for the pair of them and it was nice to be able to walk through the city together. 

Bluestreak was smiling, looking through the street stalls with wide eyes, and Sunny was smiling stupidly. 

He wasn’t entirely sure of when everything happened or how they were going to make it work, but this was part of life he’d shoved to the side when he became a pilot. It had been a rough relationship after another, and no one liked dating a pilot. This was different though, this had come so easily.

Looking at Blue, Sunny was still wearing his stupid smile, “So, they built this place during the war for the wounded and such, a place to at least call home when they had to leave Cybertron.” Nodding slightly, he squeezed Blue’s hand lightly, Blue turned and smiled at him, “Even in our darkest hours, it seems we try to find the light.” Blue took his breath away.

”Wow.” He really couldn’t manage much more than that, Bluestreak’s face burning but still wearing a smile, “You know a lot for a place you’ve never been.” His voice was almost quiet, but the soft tone left no question of how stupid his face probably looked. Bluestreak’s eyes almost lit up, “It’s all interesting, you know?” Nodding a bit, Sunstreaker fell back into a comfortable silence, listening to Bluestreak intently.

They could walk through the city all day, just them together and Sunny didn’t think it would even make him tired. He hardly would even notice his draining implants or the ache of the connection from overuse, it all just felt secondary.

Maybe it was stupid or ridiculous, they should be resting or eating but he was learning so much and getting to spend more time with Blue. More time than just over a camera while they both pretended to sleep, while his 

He was getting to learn about his world for once, not the other way around.

Blue smiles at him and shakes his head, “You’re lost in thought Sunny, come on.” He looks up, “Hmm?” Chuckling, Bluestreak shakes his head, “Come on Sunny, there’s supposed to be a really nice cafe over this way and I’m starving.” Chuckling lightly, he followed, keeping hold of Blue’s hand. The war felt a million miles away even just for that moment. 

They might have been sent to their deaths, but life seemed to be funny in that way. It gave him more to live for here than he’d had on Earth. 

Tucking himself against Bluestreak’s side, he put the thoughts of Earth aside, the ones of overuse on the back burning and smiled, content to be here in New Kaon with him. Not worrying about a thing.

—

He thought he would have gotten used to the bitter cold of North Iacon with how often they went there but no, he sat at the heater with Jazz, trying not to freeze to death. North Iacon was miserable and he’d never understand why anyone would choose to live up here, though it wasn’t like many did.

It apparently was a mining sector, not unlike where headquarters was on Earth. Half the hangers were built off of old mining tunnels that had been re-braced to hold the suits so they wouldn’t be able to be scanned from above.

Sideswipe was shivering and miserable, even with the layer of thermals, his assistance suit, the mech suit, and the heater. Sometimes it was just hard to get warm. Jazz on the other hand, seemed nearly perfectly fine. Then again, he was from farther north back home, somewhere near the Great Lakes he was pretty sure. 

Elita and Chromia were standing at a different heater, speaking quietly with Prowl since their temporary relocation had landed them so far north, “Bet it’s warmer in Paraxus right now.” Sideswipe glanced towards Jazz, hoping for something.

The way the man spoke about Paraxus, it reminded Sideswipe of how he spoke of Miami or how any of the others spoke of home. Pinging Jazz, he smiled at the camera as Jazz’s own smile filled one of his screens. He certainly didn’t look as cold as Sideswipe felt. 

“It was snowing the last time I was in Paraxus, so not much different. Sorry Sides.” Groaning, he rested his head on his knees, “Sunny gets to be off on warm New Kaon, but we’re stuck here in the cold. This fucking sucks.” Jazz laughed.

Shrugging a bit, Jazz sighs after he stops laughing, “It’s just our turn, plus Elita is trying to figure you out. She’s volunteering for these positions to make you grow closer with everyone. It’s what she does, you should have seen what it was like when Nickel became her medic.” Shaking his head a bit, Sideswipe sighs a bit.

He wasn’t sure if that was the worst case scenario or not, glancing up and over at Elita, then towards where the others were patrolling, he couldn’t help but smile a bit. Jazz tried to hide his grin, “This is why we were placed the way we were, somehow he can tell.” Glancing up, Sideswipe shakes his head a bit, “Sorry?” Jazz smiled, “Joan, Optimus, he can just… tell who we’d fit well with. Even though we obviously fit well together, Hound could see we were on the verge of getting each other killed, hell we could all feel it.” Looking back down, Sideswipe sighed.

He knew that they were right, every time it was mentioned, he knew. In the last few months he had felt as close to peaceful as he could when away from the crew. Other than for the overuse, which sucked. His implants ozzed everyday and the smallest inconvenience almost sent him into a blind rage. But Hound had been right to split them up.

The standing peaceful feeling outweighs the constant anxiety and the burning rage he felt whenever the skin around his implants became inflamed or he caught a glance of Bluestreak.

Being split up made it easier to ignore the overuse, when it wasn’t dislocating his joints or causing his skin to peel and bleed. Even then, he wasn’t worrying over his brother every moment of the day, “Yeah, I saw the change too.” Jazz’s voice was quiet, smiling softly. 

“I didn’t realize it, you know, I was too focused on being mad.” Jazz hums and nods, but looks to Elita and Chromia, “But?” Sighing, Sideswipe nods a bit, “But, we’re all doing better after those first few weeks.” Shoving his shoulder, they laugh. 

Sideswipe could be bleeding out from his implants at this moment, if he wasn’t freezing, but he didn’t care. Standing, he pats Jazz’s shoulder before jogging over towards the others. Cold be damned. 

—

Central Iacon wasn’t as cold as the North, at least according to Sideswipe, Hound had yet to experience it himself.

He honestly should be eating or sleeping or doing literally anything other than being in his suit, with them shipping back out in a few hours, but there was to much to do in Iacon. Specifically, with Mirage. 

If Mirage hadn’t asked, he’d probably be asleep right now but they were out in the market near the spires. He’d never been that close to the spires before and if they looked big from the apartment, they were huge from just under them. Casting a shadow across the streets that everyone around seemed far to adapted to.

Sighing a bit, Hound kept looking around at everything in the stalls, rolling his shoulders a bit while his implants drained. To be fair, the overuse had lessened by a lot since unlocking his old class coding and going through the crash, but it didn’t get rid of everything. At least he wasn’t scratching the skin off in chunks anymore, he’d gone to papery thin for a while there. 

It was a terrible way of putting it, but he was starting to feel human again. Other than when he was connected, then he felt larger than human. 

The coding between hunter and striker was so different, it was staggering. One felt like just controlling the suit, moving through and using it like the giant weapon it was. The other felt like it was an extension of yourself and he’d honestly forgotten the feeling after the coding had been, effectively, shut off. 

Being able to wander through Iacon, just about like everyone else, made it far more desirable to do than it had been before. Before, all he wanted to do was stay in the apartment with the others, now he truly got to see Cybertron from almost a cybertronian perspective.

”Hound, do they have polish on Earth?” Humming in question, he glances up at Mirage, who was holding several tins, frowning down at them. Tilting his head slightly, he chuckles a bit, “Uh, yeah, I guess.” Both car polishes and fancy lotions rushed through his mind. 

For the briefest moment he could smell the engine grease that had always been on his fathers hands and the soft scent of lotions his mother had worn before she passed, trying to hide the smell of hospital from him. 

Okay, so maybe not all of his overuse symptoms were easing. The hallucinations and flashbacks were starting to grate at his nerves.

”Well, you either have polish or you don’t, so do you?” Sighing a bit, he shrugs and nods, deciding it was the easier answer, “Yeah, basically, but uh there seems to be a lot more selection here.” Mirage glanced up, still holding several tins, “Well, which one smells nicest to you?” He gestures at the table and Hound stares for a long moment.

In his head, he was swearing, glancing over each polish trying to figure out which label, “Uh, Well, I’ve noticed your kinds olfactory sensors are significantly more acute than ours. We can only smell when something is toxic or specifically damaging to our systems. Uh, fight or flight. I guess.” It was a stupid answer, it was a very stupid answer but the only one he had.

Without even looking, he knew the stare he was getting from Mirage was just another one of horror. 

Sighing, Hound looked over and Mirage did have that face, “Would it make you feel better to hear that we weren’t exactly able to smell before becoming a pilot?” Frowning a bit, Mirage looks down at the polishes, “Do any of these smell dangerous to you?” And Hound stalled.

A smile started to take over his face, moving over and taking them one at a time, scanning the materials in them.

”This one, the others are fine.” Nodding a bit, Mirage grabbed up the two that had been fine before going to the checkout, Hound’s heart was pounding and racing. 

Mirage smiled at him, carrying the polishes in a small bag, offering his free hand. Hound’s mouth was dry but he took Mirage’s hand, heading back out into the marketplace. How could something so small make his throat tighten, make his heart race. Looking at Mirage, he couldn’t help but smile just a bit more, “Thank you, for asking.” 

Nodding a bit, Mirage smiled some, “Well, I don’t exactly want to smell toxic or dangerous to you, or put any of that on you the next time we get caught up in a sandstorm.” Unable to hold back the laughter, Hound nodded, grinning. 

—

It was rare for them all to be in the same place anymore. Of course it happened, but certainly not like it did those first six months, today though was something more of a requested R&R. 

They didn’t know when exactly it was, but it felt like a while, it had to have been a year since they left Earth and that deserved some time away from the front. With each other, Jazz of course included, it reaching nearly his sixth year away from home. 

Time seemed to move so much faster than before, back on Earth. Maybe it was just them losing track of the traditional twenty-four seven scheduling, or the trips to other planets as if traveling to different times zones, no one could be completely certain about how long they’d been there. 

The Odyessy’s systems had shut down months ago, the poor ship sitting amongst the war ships of Cybertron, waiting to be able to reach the stars again, but they didn’t have much use for it now. So much of it gutted and brought to the apartment or stored in their own cockpits, it had been the vessel they needed to get here but that was all. 

Unfortunate tax dollars are going to waste, but thirty lightyears away from Earth was it really?

When they had all met up in the apartment, Hound knew exactly where he wanted to take everyone, desperately not wanting to stay there and watch the world go by a second longer. 

It shocked him when Sideswipe knew where they were going when he turned down an alleyway, clearly thrilled about it too, “Oh please, as if I wouldn’t find the one place in Iacon that played music from Earth.” Jazz’s head whipped around, “What?” Smiling, he nodded, walking his suit backwards, “Oh yeah, I found it by accident. It only plays 80’s crap but still, its music in English.” Coming up behind him, Jazz rests his hands on Hound’s shoulders.

”And why are wwe all just finding this out now?” Cue of, why hadn’t he been told first, sighing but smiling, Hound shrugs, “We’ve all been busy. This place is a bar, not like we can go in a buy anything.” Jazz grumbled while Sunstreaker and Breakdown spoke quietly. 

The bar was familiar, oddly so even to those who hadn’t been before. It reminded Hound of some of the dives that were common around headquarters. 

With a light wave from the bartender, they move to sit on some deep looking couches, surrounding a low metal and glass table in a semicircle. Jazz was staring around in awe, breathing slowly.

Lionel Richie’s voice filled the air around them.

Smiling, Hound sits back, “Mirage, Prowl, and Bluestreak will be here after their meeting.” The reaction was mixed, but nothing could darken his mood for the moment.

Jazz was humming along with his eyes closed, Breakdown was leaned back with a grin on his face, Sideswipe had an arm around Sunstreaker, talking about god only knows what.

For him, Hound was able to sit back and listen, just enjoying the feeling of familiarity. Keeping his eyes closed, he reaches out and picks up his water pouch, clearing his throat.

He had to wait to hear everyone turn, “It’s been around a year since Arcturus one took off from Earth and we have completed half of our mission.” Sideswipe whistles and Sunstreaker cheers.

Chuckling, he shakes his head a bit, “Jazz, finding you made the mission worth it even before we met the Cybertronian’s. Meeting them has been the most,” Hound pauses before the others start to speak up.

“Interesting?” Sunny shifts a bit, shrugging slightly.

“Chaotic.” With a high five from Jazz, Sideswipe adds, grinning.

“Insane, more likely.” Breakdown adds, chuckling while receiving pats on the back.

Shaking his head, Hound chuckles, “Mission critical event. We’ve made friends here, with aliens, none of us thought that possible and you made it possible. So, to Arcturus One and Jazz, we’re here to kick Quintesson ass and save Earth. For the first time in decades, we’re succeeding.” Clutching his water pouch, he raises it, “To Earth.” And a chorus of voices joined him.

Def Leppard’s tones followed, bringing a grin to Hound’s face.

Opening his eyes, the grin turned into a light smile as Mirage came through the door, b-lining for the bar. Prowl and Bluestreak followed, though splitting off.

Jazz was up and over to Prowl in nearly an instant, “It’s playing music from home. Come listen.” It wasn’t hard to see how Prowl tried to hide a smile, Sideswipe watching, his visor darkening as if narrowing his eyes. 

For the moment, it was easy to get lost in the music.

———

A/N

So this takes place from around a month and a half or so after the attack on New Kaon till around five months after. I just wanted to add a few bits before getting back to the story proper.

I promise there will be more with Soundwave finding out about the humans, I think it’s going to be a “Arcturus Negative One” story more so, try to tell it from Prowl’s perspective but we’ll see how that goes.

To make that long story short, he promises to keep the secret so don’t freak out.

Anyways, this chapter kicked my ass. I wanted to put so much into it, it’s nuts. Part of it was I was getting over from being sick, had a busy week, etc but I hope you all enjoy it!

TAGS

I want to thank @keferon for the amazing AU, and for letting me write the longest mecha pilot jazz story currently posted on Ao3 (It’s only up to part 26 on Ao3, which is just shy of 80k words)

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[wildshona]

Beltane

 Toni knows how to celebrate a festival – if you have followed me for long you will know that. Of course her having what seems an unlimited supply of money helps. I had been really worried that being a semi-invalid i wouldn’t be allowed to take part in the Beltane festival but she had thought it through of course, after all I was often a centrepiece.

What had once been a large reception room – or maybe even a small ballroom – was entirely decked in flowers, I mean flowers everywhere and shrubs and small trees in pots that were placed around large cushions and couches and tables to create a whole interlocking set of bowers and there was the sound of water from 4 or 5 water features.

This was a strictly no children event that started in the evening so people arrived in the robes or costumes they had told would be appropriate. I was in a sheer white robe that fell to the floor from my shoulders and without easy access which, she told me, Toni had made for me so that I wouldn’t be tempted once the alcohol flowed to open my legs which I was still three weeks away from doing. But the robe left nothing to the imagination clinging to my body so that my nipples and my cunt were clearly visible. She had created a bower just for me where I sat between tree branches that formed what turned out to be a barrier that people could lean against.

It was all light and airy not at all like the dark mysterious smoky festivals we had been having since Samhain, there was soft classical music and once things got going the sound of conversation and the happiness of food and drink – the drink being wine, mead, ale and cider. Now I like mead so I was down a couple of large glasses when things really got underway and Toni absolutely gorgeous in a gown of silver that clung to her gave a blessing to all and brought a couple to a central platform in the middle of the room. I guess they were in their early thirties she fantastic looking and he well muscled and they were so naked. And in front of everyone they started to fuck. And I mean fuck – I mean this is Beltane right – sex, fertility and all that – not making love. And that was really the cue for everyone else to start getting a bit active either with someone they had arrived with or someone they hadn’t.

Chris and Amelia were not far from me and I am honestly amazed that Amelia is now relaxed enough that she fucks in front of strangers these days. They were well into it when a naked man arrived at my bower, leant against a branch and “oh yeah, well thought out, Toni” as he leant against the branch his cock was just about level with my face. She had provided me with a sort of rustic glory hole – except we could see one another. My cup runneth over.

I knew the first guy, he has a nice cock, nothing special but a nice appetiser and he had brought me some more mead to sweeten it, giggles. Around us people were getting into it and Toni moved through the party like the priestess she is and encouraged people to mate and to join with others and if she saw someone without a partner she held their hand until they found one.

Bai loomed never far from Toni, the only one who didn’t look like she fitted into the northern pagan culture as she stalked naked with her Chinese tiger spirit tattoo covering her back. Even she smiled occasionally though and made free to fondle some of the women in passing. This wasn’t a party group where sexuality mattered normally except that Beltane is about fertility so, though there were some gay couplings of either sex, most of the focus was on hetero fucking – and not restricted to couples.

From my bower I had a good view and I could at least get a hand up my robe to play with myself while cocks were being stuck in my mouth. Five or six altogether I wasn’t really counting. As time went on I lost sight of Amelia (I later discovered that after fucking Chris she was whisked off by a woman introduced to her by Toni. Bit of encouragement to branch out. Chris was visible and I saw him fucking some tiny woman – even smaller than me – maybe 4’ 8”. Her size didn’t stop her riding him hard though. God there was so much fucking I was in tears of frustration.

Bai scooped me up in the end and carried me to my bedroom where we lay a while and lapped at one another until she cuddled me asleep. I was still really tired all the time then.

Chris and Amelia had stayed in the room that Amelia has here but they dropped in to see me the next day and fucked next to me for a while before going home to Zoe and to relieve Ina so that she could come back here.

I know that people will ask this so I will answer it. How do I feel about the fact that Chris is spending far more time fucking Amelia than he is visiting me? OK, well. I have had a lot of time to think about this and I have discussed it with Toni and with Bai, although Bai’s insights on men tend to be dismissive and primal.

You have to remember that Chris saved me from the streets when I was seventeen (not that he would touch me until I was eighteen) and I had a world of experience in pleasuring men that I have to say was pretty hard for him to resist. We married about a year after he took me in.

I have to be honest and say that I am not an ideal wife though I am a fucking great mistress. With my playing away I may even have hurt him sometimes more than he has let on. Amelia is another rescue but she is not a sex addicted slut and he can mould her in to whatever he wants – and she will let him because that is what she has been taught and just before her last “husband” gave her a vanilla life because he could fuck girls like me whenever he wanted he still instilled in her the notion that pleasing her man however he wanted pleasing is the thing to do. So she is now fucking in front of others, going down on women, wearing a butt plug, none of which she would have done when she arrived in November.

And, crucially, she can have babies and I can’t.

How do I feel about it? Resigned. I can feel the marriage part of my relationship with Chris slipping away even if the sex doesn’t. I think Toni feels it too and is cushioning me. In any case what will be will be. I am not going to fight my husband and my sister in this. She has had a fucked up life too – just not as brutal as mine. She deserves happiness too.

So, yeah, resigned.  

[wheelsgoroundincircles]

1936 Chevrolet

At General Motors in 1936, vehicle testing was remarkably sophisticated. See all the equipment and methods at work in this original Chevrolet film.

Like many of the Chevrolet films produced back in the day by Jam Handy of Detroit, this one, titled Wind, Weather, and Wheels, was designed to capture the interest of a general audience. So the script writers take a few minutes to get around to the actual subject—we call it the “first, the earth cooled” method of storytelling. But at around three minutes in (feel free to skip ahead) we get to the good stuff: a tour of the General Motors Proving Ground and a detailed look at the testing procedures for the ’36 Chevrolet.

For the mid-thirties, the test hardware is relatively sophisticated. At 4:40 we encounter a vehicle-sized pendulum for locating the center of gravity, and at 5:40 there’s an early chassis dynomometer with full instrumentation. Steering effort is checked with a wheel-mounted torqueometer, while a fifth wheel validates fuel consumption. And at around 9:30, a vacuum pump and smoke machine are used to test the cabin seal. We enjoy seeing this old gear at work, and along the way, there are some excellent views of the Proving Ground in its early, more rustic form. The facility, still a busy place today, is modestly described here as “the greatest outdoor laboratory in the world.”

In 1936, Chevrolet was not the best-selling car in the USA. In fact, Ford beat Chevrolet in total volume in ’34 through ’37, no doubt due in part to the selling power of Ford’s 85 hp V8. But with 79 hp, Chevy’s overhead-valve inline six was at least in the game, and a redesigned six the following year matched the Ford V8 in rated output. At $495 to $655, Chevrolet undercut Ford in pricing by a few bucks in ’36, losing to Ford by a mere 12,000 units. Video follows.

[lpmurphy]

Of the Care and Keeping of Spartans Master List

Spring in Tchakova Park Full work on AO3 Spotify Playlist

Pairings: John-117/OC Status: Completed Summary:

Green was the color of the grass where he used to walk in Tchakova Park.

In which John meets a stranger in the park, Violet learns of the care and keeping of Spartans, and Cortana offers dating advice.

Chapter One: Lights on the Water

Chapter Two: The Jungle

Chapter Three: Goose

Chapter Four: The Rock

Chapter Five: Picture Frames

Chapter Six: Gold Visor, Hazel Eyes

Chapter Seven: First Aid

Chapter Eight: Headboards (NSFW)

Chapter Nine: Family Dynamics

Chapter Ten: Anthuriums

Chapter Eleven: Conversations

Chapter Twelve: Pillow Talk (NSFW)

Chapter Thirteen: Meet the Parents

Chapter Fourteen: Eavesdropping

Chapter Fifteen: Confessions

Chapter Sixteen: Arrivals

Chapter Seventeen: Downtown

Chapter Eighteen: Flashes and Blinks

Chapter Nineteen: Bathroom Conversations

Chapter Twenty: All Too Well

Chapter Twenty-One: Headboards Volume 2 (NSFW)

Chapter Twenty-Two: Girlhood

Chapter Twenty-Three: Fishies

Chapter Twenty-Four: Night Swim

Chapter Twenty-Five: Gúta (NSFW)

Chapter Twenty-Six: Carvings

Chapter Twenty-Seven: Persephone

Chapter Twenty-Eight: Sunshine

Chapter Twenty-Nine: The Scarf

Chapter Thirty: Cultivation

Chapter Thirty-One: Incursion

Chapter Thirty-Two: Ignorant Innocence

Chapter Thirty-Three: Home

Chapter Thirty-Four: Epilogue- Spring in the Highland Mountains

Bonus Chapter: Stay (NSFW)

Something Borrowed: A Sequel AO3 Spotify Playlist

Pairings: John-117/OC, Background Riz/Vannak Status: Completed 8/6/24 Summary

Springtime on Reach had always been Violet's favorite season. She had always adored the mild temperatures, the flowers and greenery in constant bloom and the beauty it brought to Tchakova Park. Meeting John beside the pond the year before had only given her another reason to love the spring. But, on a May evening beside a lake in the Highland Mountains, Violet found yet another reason to love springtime.

In which the 117s tie the knot, Cortana becomes an unlicensed therapist, Kai and Vannak organize a bachelorette party, and Riz plans a wedding.

Chapter One: The Desert

Chapter Two: Sisters

Chapter Three: The View From Tchakova Park

Chapter Four: Cinnamon Whiskey (NSFW)

Chapter Five: Housekeeping

Chapter Six: Tests

Chapter Seven: Cleansing

Chapter Eight: Discoveries

Chapter Nine: Orange Juice

Chapter Ten: Mer

Chapter Eleven: Something in the Orange

Chapter Twelve: Best Friends

Chapter Thirteen: Fog

Chapter Fourteen: Q&A

Chapter Fifteen: Group Message

Chapter Sixteen: Nightmares

Chapter Seventeen: Last Minute (NSFW)

Chapter Eighteen: Threads

Chapter Nineteen: Lamby

Chapter Twenty: Balloons and Streamers

Chapter Twenty One: Marco Polo

Chapter Twenty Two: Bachelorette Part 1

Chapter Twenty Three: Bachelorette Part 2

Chapter Twenty Four: The Morning After

Chapter Twenty Five: Bubbe Fran

Chapter Twenty Six: Becoming

Chapter Twenty Seven: Promises

Chapter Twenty Eight: Empty Chair

Chapter Twenty Nine: 117

Chapter Thirty: Epilogue- Someday Came Two Years Later

The View Between Villages Read on AO3

Status: In Progress (2/4)

Summary:

'This wasn’t home. It felt like someone else belonged here, and perhaps someone else did. He stopped being the boy who did the moment he called on that coin. Childhood came spinning to an end as soon as it came up heads.'

In which Violet receives orders to Eridanus II, and John brings his wife home.

Part One: Cold

Part Two: Ghosts

All Better Read on AO3

Status: Complete

Summary: Violet always left the lamp on in the living room.

Of Mothers and Bedtime Stories Read on AO3

Status: Complete Summary:

“Daddy?” Hailey called. “Yeah, babygirl?” “What’s your mommy’s name?” “Catherine.”

A line of questioning from a very curious five year old forces Violet to consider her feelings towards the woman that created her husband, and what she means to him.

[dailyanarchistposts]

Footnotes Part I

[1] John Ralston Saul, Voltaire’s Bastards (New York: Vintage, 1992), 460.

[2] The World Wrestling Entertainment phenomenon is immense, both internationally and within the United States. WWE is consistently in the top ten daily searches globally on Yahoo’s Buzz Index and other search engines. The official site of World Wrestling Entertainment, http://www.wwe.com, receives within the United States alone a monthly average of 7.7 million unique visitors and a daily average of 517,000 unique visitors, according to a six-month survey done by Omniture SiteCatalyst from October 2006 to March 2007. Within the United States it had a monthly average of 214.4 million page views, a daily average of 7 million page views, a monthly average of 16.2 million video streams, and an average of 524,000 video streams per day. The WWE audience, according to a study conducted in May 2006 by Forrester Consulting, is 86 percent male, with an average age of twenty-four. Thirty-six percent are ages twelve to seventeen, and 40 percent are ages eighteen to thirty-four. Forty-one percent are students. Sixty-two percent of the males eighteen to thirty-four are employed full time. According to http://www.quantcast.com, 81 percent access wwe.com daily or several times a week. Fifty-seven percent have no college education. Twenty-six percent have an annual income of $30,000 or less, and another 30 percent make between $30,000 and $60,000. Fifty-one percent have children aged six to seventeen. Sixty-four percent are Caucasian, 14 percent African American, and 16 percent Hispanic.

[3] Neal Gabler, Life: The Movie: How Entertainment Conquered Reality (New York Vintage, 2000), 238.

[4] Paul A. Cantor, “Pro Wrestling and the End of History,” The Weekly Standard 5:3 (4 Oct. 1999): 17–22.

[5] Daniel J. Boorstin, The Image: A Guide to Pseudo-Events in America (New York: Atheneum, 1961), 240.

[6] Ibid., 198.

[7] Gabler, Life: The Movie, 4.

[8] James Bradley, Flags of Our Fathers (New York: Bantam Books, 2000), 518–519.

[9] Antonino D’Ambrosio, A Heartbeat and a Guitar: Johnny Cash and the Making of Bitter Tears (New York: Nation Books, 2009).

[10] William Deresiewicz, “The End of Solitude,” The Chronicle of Higher Education 55:21 (30 Jan. 2009): B6.

[11] Walter Benjamin, “The Work of Art in the Age of Mechanical Reproduction.” http://www.marxists.org/reference/subject/philosophy/works/ge/benjamin.htm.

[12] C. Wright Mills, The Power Elite (Oxford: Oxford University Press, 1956), 74.

[13] Richard Hoggart, The Uses of Literacy (Transactions Publishers, London, 1957), 151.

[14] Chris Rojek, Celebrity (London: Reaktion Books, 2001), 33–34.

[15] Neil Postman, Amusing Ourselves to Death: Public Discourse in the Age of Show Business (New York: Penguin, 1985), 80.

[16] Emily Eakin, “Greeting Big Brother with Open Arms,” New York Times, Jan. 17, 2004: B9.

[17] Dave Eggers, A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius (New York: Vintage, 2001), 200–202.

[18] Ibid., 209.

[19] Ibid., 214.

[20] Ibid., 235–237.

[21] Cited in Gordon Burn, “Have I Broken Your Heart?” The Guardian, March 7 2009. http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2009/mar/07/gordon-burn.

[22] My account of Jade Goody is informed by Burn, “Have I Broken Your Heart?” http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2009/mar/07/gordon-burn.

[23] Hannah Arendt, “The Crisis in Culture,” in Between Past and Future: Eight Exercises in Political Thought (New York: Penguin, 1993), 207.

[24] ABC News, Living in the Shadows: Illiteracy in America, Feb. 25, 2008.

[25] Statistics were obtained from the following sources: National Institute for Literacy, National Center for Adult Literacy, The Literacy Company, U.S. Census Bureau.

[26] “Canada’s Shame,” The National, Canadian Broadcasting Company, May 24, 2006.

[27] Cited in Frank Füredi, Where Have all the Intellectuals Gone? (New York: Continuum, 2004), 73.

[28] Benjamin DeMott, “Junk Politics: A Voter’s Guide to the Post-Literate Election,” Harper’s Magazine (November 2003): 36.

[29] Boorstin, The Image, 61.

[30] Ibid., 255.

[31] Gabler, Life: The Movie, 205.

[32] Boorstin, The Image, 36.

[33] Walter Lippmann, Public Opinion (New York: Free Press, 1997), 59.

[34] Cited in Gabler, Life: The Movie, 197.

[35] Wendell Berry, The Unsettling of America: Culture & Agriculture (San Francisco: Sierra Club, 1977), 24.

[36] “The Directors,” Adult Video News (2005), 54.

[37] Gag Factor. http://www.gagfactor.com/gagfactordotcom.html, accessed, April 5, 2009.

[38] Postman, Amusing Ourselves, 3–4.

[39] Marc Cooper, The Last Honest Place in America (New York: Nation Books, 2004), 42.

[40] Robert Jensen, Getting Off: Pornography and the End of Masculinity (Cambridge, Mass.: South End Press, 2007), 126.

[41] Bill Margold, quoted in Robert J. Stoller and I.S. Levin, Coming Attractions: The Making of an X-Rated Video (New Haven, Conn.: Yale University Press, 1993), 31.

[42] Gail Dines, “The White Man’s Burden: Gonzo Pornography and the Construction of Black Masculinity,” Yale Journal of Law and Feminism 18 (2006), 296–297.

[43] Ibid., 297.

[44] Scott Simon, host. “Promoting Healthcare for the Porn Industry,” Weekend Edition. National Public Radio, Dec. 8, 2007. http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=17044239.

[45] Lubben, Shelley, and Jersey Jaxin. “Jersey Jaxin on Why She Quit Porn,” YouTube. Accessed Aug. 12, 2007. Part 1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ACLK5ccKfM and Part 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U1NObcJV8r0&feature=related.

[46] Theodor Adorno, “Education after Auschwitz” (http://grace.evergreen.edu/~arunc/texts/frankfurt/auschwitz/AdornoEducation.pdf), 10.

[47] Ibid., 6.

[48] Charles Ting, “The Dormitories at U.C. Berkeley.” in Nader, Laura, et al., Controlling Processes: Selected Essays, 1994–2005. The Kroeber Anthropological Society Papers 92/93 (2005): 197–229.

[49] Charles Schwartz, Home page. http://socrates.berkeley.edu/~schwrtz/.

[50] Schwartz, “Good Morning, Regents.” UniversityProbe.org. http://uni- versityprobe.org/2009/02/good-morning-regents/.

[51] Josh Keller, “For Berkeley’s Sports Endowment, a Goal of $1 Billion.” The Chronicle of Higher Education, Jan. 23, 2009. http://chronicle.com/weekly/v55/i20/20a01301.htm.

[52] Saul, Voltaire’s Bastards, 110.

[53] Saul, The Unconscious Civilization (New York: The Free Press, 1995), 47.

[54] Mills, The Power Elite, 321.

[55] Joseph A. Soares, The Power of Privilege: Yale and America’s Elite Universities (Stanford, Calf.: Stanford University Press, 2007), http://insidehighered.com/news/2007/04/11/soares; Daniel Golden, The Price of Admission: How America’s Ruling Class Buys Its Way into Colleges—and Who Gets Left Outside the Gates (New York: Random House, 2006), http://insidehigh- ered.com/news/2006/09/05/admit.

[56] Ludwig Wittgenstein, Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus (London: Routledge & Kegan Paul, 1961). This is the last line of the book. The original publication was in the Annalen der Naturphilosophie, 1921: “Woven man nicht sprechen kann, darüber muss man schweigen.”

[57] William Deresiewicz, “The Disadvantages of an Elite Education,” The American Scholar (Summer 2008). http://www.theamericanscholar.org/the-disadvantages of-an-elite-education.

[58] Richard Hoggart, The Uses of Literacy (London: Transaction Publishers, 1957), 229.

[59] Ibid., 230.

[60] Saul, Voltaire’s Bastards, 121.

[61] Cited in Hoggart, The Uses of Literacy, 230.

[62] Deresiewicz, “Disadvantages.”

[skepsiss]

Reflection: Eddie's POV

This is a 4 part mini-series about the Fruity Four. It's 1989 and Steve, Eddie, and Robin are visiting Hawkins over winter break. Nancy has invited them all over for a little Christmas get-together, and we read from the point of view of each member of the crew across 1 event.

I wrote these pieces to be read in any order, so... enjoy some Steddie, vague Ronance, Vickie x Robin, and just the Fruity Four being... fruity.

Dialogue prompt "You Remember That?" for @thefreakandthehair's Spicy Six Winter Fanworks Challenge. Page break/border by @/alderdoodle.bsky.social on Bluesky.

Rating: T Words: 3,072 CW: Swearing, scars/injury, sexual language

Steve's Part Robin's Part Nancy's Part Eddie's Part

Nancy shut the door and Eddie stepped awkwardly down the front stoop with Steve’s help. He was treating Eddie like he was some kind of delicate ballerina or something, and it only vaguely bothered Eddie because he was wearing Nancy’s coat. He had left his proper winter coat at home by mistake, and of course tonight of all nights the weather gods had decided to launch Hawkins into a snowstorm. Just his luck, really—especially after he had bet Steve that their rental car wouldn’t get stuck in the snow during their visit. He had been dead wrong and now their only way back to the trailer was by foot and well… the trailer park was on the opposite side of town. 

“Hey Steve,” someone greeted from behind them, and Eddie slowly turned. “Hey Nance, where are—-oh.”

It was Mike, and he actually took half a step back when Eddie turned to look at him.

“Eddie?” He asked, looking startled before his brows creased, and his mouth tried to form words for a question.

“I forgot my coat,” Eddie said with a sharp frown, sounding vaguely threatening. “One word, Wheeler, and you’re dead meat.”

“Jeez—okay, I just wanted to—-sorry,” Mike replied, sounding defensive despite folding easily under Eddie’s glare.

“Hey, Mike,” Steve responded, leaning around Eddie slightly before tugging him in beside him. “We’re just leaving. We’ll be back around in a few days, probably, though.”

“Uh, yeah, cool, I was actually hoping I’d catch you before you left, Eddie. I can’t find the like initiation stuff you used for us when we first joined Hellfire, where is it? Do you remember that?”

“Uhhh….” Eddie replied, a bit stunned at being made to remember something so long ago—it was only 2 years, but he could hardly remember what he ate for breakfast sometimes.

“Theatre costume room, maybe?” He replied, shrugging. “I really don’t remember, dude. I’ll ponder on it, though, see if I can unlock something out of Mordenkainen's Tome.”

The two of them exchanged a chuckle at Eddie’s reference before they properly parted ways.

Steve trudged across the lawn, and Eddie shivered in his wake as he followed his footsteps through the snow. He took Steve’s hand once again when they reached the sidewalk and tucked in close to his side.

“Whose Mortem… Mortemkinim?” Steve asked, his voice lacking shyness for needing clarification. They had gotten well past the point of Steve needing to be embarrassed about asking for clarification on nerd stuff.

“Mordenkainen,” Eddie corrected lightly, “he’s like an arch-mage in Greyhawk who invents a bunch of magic… things. Has these planar tomes he has forbidden knowledge in and all that.”

“DnD shit?” Steve asked, raising a brow.

“DnD shit,” Eddie confirmed with a chuckle.

“You’re such a fucking nerd,” Steve teased, and Eddie glanced up to see him rolling his eyes. He was smiling still, though, which made Eddie grin back.

“You loooooovvveee it,” Eddie singsonged, knocking his temple against Steve’s head gently. “Got a fetish for it or something.”

“Excuse me?” Steve asked, accusatory, leaning away from Eddie with a laugh. “How the hell is that a fetish? What are your sources, Munson?”

“Uh, my eyes?” Eddie replied acrimoniously. “My eyes, my mouth, my ass–”

“Okay, enough, we have to walk for another thirty minutes at least, I don’t need this right now.”

Eddie snorted but relented, pleased that he had won that debate.

“It is nice, though,” Eddie said after a few moments of silence. He looked at the sky as they walked, watching the fluffy flakes of snow falling down on them. “Hawkins looking like this. Quiet… walking around the streets with you… holding your hand.”

Eddie looked back at Steve, who smiled faintly at him. He looked soft and despite how cold it was outside, Eddie could swear he felt heat radiating off of Steve from how much he glowed. He looked positively smitten.

Eddie had to look away, and he grinned down at the sidewalk instead, chuckling in an almost shy way.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Eddie swallowed, chewing his lip a bit out of nervousness. Steve could still make his chest and stomach explode with butterflies, even all these years later.

“Like what?” Steve asked, sounding amused as he nudged Eddie’s shoulder with his own.

“Like that–” Eddie laughed, leaning away dramatically from Steve’s friendly shoulder check. “Like you’re completely satisfied with life and more in love with me than anything else in the world.”

“I am in love with you…” Steve replied softly, and Eddie reached up and pulled the brim of his beanie down over his eyes.

He was grinning like an idiot, and Eddie could feel his cheeks cramping from how happy he was. He was being foolish and perhaps a bit juvenile, but he loved hearing Steve say things like that. It was so soft, and it made his heart soar like nothing else.

“You’re so fucking cute…” Steve complimented, which made Eddie pull his hat down further and groan.

“God, shut up,” he huffed, on the verge of giggling.

Eddie hadn’t anticipated it, but suddenly Steve’s arms were around his middle as he was being picked up off his feet.

Eddie shrieked with laughter, the hold only lasting for a moment before Steve was leaning over his shoulder and kissing his neck and cheek.

“Stop it!” Eddie whooped, trying to wriggle from Steve’s hold as he bent at the waist to get away. It didn’t do much to help except pull Steve further over his shoulder, so they were both shuffling gracelessly through the snow.

“I can’t,” Steve chastised, still kissing at what little bits of skin he could reach. “You’re just so goddamn adorable.”

He pulled the brim of Eddie’s hat up, and Eddie couldn’t control the giggles that escaped him as he feebly pulled away from his boyfriend. God, they were acting like such teenagers. They were so stupid. They were so stupid and so in love, and Eddie wouldn’t change a single second of it.

“I’m not adorable,” Eddie complained, still smiling, but his laughter had died down. “I’m supposed to be a metal-god. Devil spawn, heart-breaker extraordinaire!”

He heard Steve chuckle in his ear before relenting and giving him one good kiss on the cheek.

“Yeah, a metal-god that makes me buy chocolate milk for him and who watches Banjo the Woodpile Cat on repeat when he’s feeling sentimental. Which is like… at least once a month.” Steve retorted, still grinning as he moved back to Eddie’s side.

“Shut up, man,” Eddie laughed, punching Steve in the shoulder as they continued to walk. “You promised you wouldn’t tell anyone that on pain of death.”

“You see anyone else around?” Steve asked, gesturing to the empty streets.

The orange glow of the street lights was making velvety shadows spread across the snow, the various Christmas lights from people’s yards joining in to create a nativity of colours. It was romantic, and it felt like they had slipped into a nulspace or the ethereal realm where they were the only ones around. It felt gossamer, and Eddie found himself longing for the old streets of Hawkins that he had so readily left behind a little over a year ago. 

“Just you, handsome,” Eddie replied, regaining a bit of his composure as he took Steve’s hand again. 

It was Steve’s turn to chuckle with flattery, and Eddie took the pause in their conversation to hustle ahead of Steve slightly.

“If there was someone around,” Eddie asked, striking a dramatic pose as he put his hand on his waist and cocked his hip. “You think they’d recognize me?”

Steve snorted at him and continued to walk, seemingly unfazed by Eddie’s antics.

“Doubt it,” Steve teased, poking Eddie in the stomach as he passed. Eddie flinched away with a smirk, despite not being able to feel the touch through the heavy parka. 

“That thing does wonders for your waist, though, makes you look curvy as hell.”

“Awww, you miss the curves, Steve?” Eddie asked, only feeling thin-skinned as he trotted up beside his boyfriend again. Despite them dating for two years, Eddie still had these moments of fear and anxiety over their relationship. Steve had been such a womanizer before they started dating—and he had pulled it off well, too. Every woman loved him. But he had somehow settled for thin-as-a-rail, chaos-gremlin, Eddie Munson who hardly had an ass for Steve to grab.

“Sometimes,” Steve admitted, and Eddie felt his stomach drop as he went quiet.

“But,” Steve shrugged, seemingly unbothered. “I’d miss a whole lot more than curves if I lost you.”

Eddie snorted at that and looked away again, Steve’s comment helping to banish his insecurities for now. 

Yeah… if they broke up—gods forbid—hearing that Steve would miss his body and what he had to offer felt reassuring. Despite hardly having an ounce of meat on his bones, he knew Steve found him attractive. He had heard it and seen it in the way Steve stared at him; how his breath hitched when Eddie stood at the foot of the bed with nothing on. He knew Steve found him attractive… it just felt difficult sometimes to stand in front of a literal Greek god—a man carved from marble in the likeness of the hero of Troy—and compare himself to that. Steve was positively radiant. 

“You getting in your head again?” Steve asked, which shook Eddie from his reverence. He blinked at Steve and then stuck his tongue out at his boyfriend.

“Only a little,” he admitted, looping his arm with Steve’s once again. 

They were a little more than halfway to the trailer park, and Eddie breathed deep as he felt his nose begin to tingle from the cold.

“Can we have a bath when we get back?” Eddie asked, swinging Steve’s arm a bit as they walked, needing to release some of the energy that was building in his limbs.

“A bath?” Steve asked, letting Eddie manhandle him however he liked. “It’ll be 11 at night by the time we’re back.”

“Yeah, so?” Eddie retorted, looking at Steve as if he was an idiot. “We’re on vacation, 11 pm baths aren’t anywhere near the freaky shit I want to get up to.” 

“Oh, I’ll be sure to mark that down and check off ‘breakfast in bed,’ ‘12 pm wake-up calls,’ and ‘assembling Christmas puzzles on the living room rug’ on the freaky list,” Steve replied sarcastically. 

Eddie smacked Steve’s arm with the back of his hand, the action having no real force behind it.

“God, am I getting boring?” Eddie asked, snorting slightly. But the question tickled a small part of his brain, reminding him that all of those things were painfully boring. 

He still had the goal of becoming a Rock Star, but he was less driven than he had been as a teen. 

Rock fame had been the only thing that was going to get him away from Hawkins-–away from his old man’s shadow—but along came Steve Harrington, who had whisked him away. Eddie was content now, and that was odd for him. He wasn’t sure if he had ever been content in his life before now. 

“I don’t think you’re boring,” Steve offered, awkwardly trudging his way through a snow drift and then offering his hand to Eddie to help him over it. Eddie didn’t need help, and he casually refused Steve’s hand in favour of making his own path.

“But that might just be because I’m pretty boring,” Steve admitted, watching Eddie as he struggled through the snow. 

It was denser than Eddie had realized, and he regretfully had pants that were not suited for this kind of weather. He didn’t exactly want to get them wet, since they had another twenty minutes of walking left.

“You’re not—boring,” Eddie huffed, awkwardly shifting and sticking his arms out to balance himself so he wouldn’t fall over. “You’re a badass. B-A-D-D… ass.”

He was concentrating on not falling and not paying attention at all to the fact that he had spelled ‘bad’ wrong. Eddie had at least made it to the crest of the drift, but now he was regretting his trajectory.

“And now I’m boring,” Steve said lightly. He reached for Eddie and grabbed his waist, hoisting him up easily enough and depositing him on the road. The move almost looked practised—like Steve was in a ballet and Eddie was some damsel leaping from the porch and into his lover’s arms so they could do the two-step for an audience. Really, the effort on Steve’s part hadn’t been too great, but it was still mind-blowingly hot. 

“I like it that way.”

Steve was still talking, saying something about being boring and how he liked that his life was much simpler now. He’d had enough adventure for a lifetime in the span of 3 years, and he was content to have people think he was dull. Unfazed and unbothered by the notion that someone would dismiss him out of hand or think of him as ‘uncool.’

Eddie was just admiring him and wondering how anyone could look at Steve and think he was boring. 

“What’re you going to do when I become famous?” Eddie asked, his words dreamy and distracted sounding.

Steve looked at him properly, and Eddie could see his boyfriend’s eyes scanning his face.

“Do I have to be famous too?” Steve asked, sounding vaguely amused.

“You’re good-looking,” Eddie shrugged, “you’d sell tabloids.”

“I think you’re good-looking enough to sell your own tabloid,” Steve retorted, teasing, but obviously flattering Eddie of purpose.

Eddie glanced away again, but this time there was less smiling and more shame. He was shy still, but insecurity etched into his brain thinking about himself plastered across a magazine cover.

“I don’t know… might be a bit hard convincing everyone of that,” Eddie said quietly, “cause…”

Eddie gestured vaguely at his jaw, motioning toward the scar that jutted up his neck and along his jaw. The skin was ropey and stretched looking since the wound had healed poorly, and he didn’t have the money for plastic surgery to fix it. Instead, he just hid the mar with his hair and tried to forget about it when he was in public. It was an insecurity, and Eddie feared that even in the metal scene he wouldn’t be palatable. Before the attack, he had sort of always relied on being decent-looking in order to help his career along, especially when he did his eye makeup for the stage. 

He wished it didn’t bother him. 

“How many times do I have to tell you this?”

Steve’s words were soft, and they pulled Eddie’s attention as he flicked his gaze up toward his boyfriend.

Steve was reaching forward, and Eddie flushed slightly as Steve ran cold fingers over the side of his neck and then soothed his thumb along Eddie’s jaw. He was touching the scar even though that spot had dulled nerves. He was touching the scar and staring at Eddie with such gentle affection that Eddie’s breath hitched. 

Two years. Two years and just a look from Steve could make Eddie feel weightless.

“You’re gorgeous…” Steve complimented, his eyes flicked across Eddie’s face as if he was taking all of him in. He truly looked captivated, and Eddie couldn’t help but stare back at Steve with stunned awe; his eyes large and his heart feeling like it was going to beat out of his chest. 

“If someone is bothered by this,” Steve commented, running his thumb over the scar again, “then they’re an idiot. Plus, it’s badass, right?”

Eddie huffed a small breath at Steve’s comment, feeling as if he had to deny the compliment, but also feeling incredibly touched by the reassurance. He wasn’t sure if that was right, but Steve didn’t seem to bat an eye at his scars-–and not in an effort to ignore them, either. 

Instead of looking away this time, Eddie glanced down the road both ways. It was night, and the wind had let up, making way for lazy snowflakes to fall silently down on Hawkins. No one was out, and it was late enough that even the windows of people’s porches were out. No one would recognize him anyway. 

Eddie wrapped his arms around Steve’s neck and ducked in for a kiss, feeling terribly romantic as he indulged in the slow affection.

Steve didn’t resist in the least, and Eddie sighed through his nose as Steve wrapped his other arm around Eddie’s middle and continued to stroke along the scar on his face. 

They stayed like that for a while, kissing quietly, until eventually Eddie brushed his lips against Steve’s cheek and tucked into his neck for a warm embrace.

“You tired?” Steve asked against his ear, kissing the side of his hat where his ear should be. He dropped his other hand to Eddie's waist and swayed them slightly, leaving lingering kisses against Eddie’s temple now and again.

Eddie just nodded slowly; the exhaustion of the day had caught up to him, and he felt like crawling into a warm bed with Steve and snuggling up as close as possible to him. Eddie was so in love… he was so in love, and Steve took such good care of him. There was no one else in the world that he loved more than Steve, and it baffled Eddie still that Steve felt the same way about him.

“Come on,” Steve said gently, slowly breaking their embrace and taking Eddie’s hand to lead him down the street.

Eddie lamely fell in behind his boyfriend and pressed against the back of his shoulder so he could half lean his cheek on Steve’s shoulder while they walked.

Everything felt so wonderful and warm despite the bitter cold. They were still ten minutes away from the trailer, but Eddie didn’t really mind all that much. It almost felt like he could doze off with how slowly he was shuffling with Steve. The holiday season had never been one of relaxation for Eddie before he started dating Steve, but now he felt like maybe he could relate to all those crummy Christmas movies and how love and peace they were. Steve made everything feel a bit brighter.

Gods… he loved this man. In all Eddie’s years on this godforsaken planet, he never thought he’d be so lucky as to date a man like Steve Harrington. 

[mariacallous]

Thirty-three transgender and gender-nonconforming people have been killed by violence in the United States since last year's Transgender Day of Remembrance on Nov. 20, 2022, according to a new Human Rights Campaign report.

Twenty-six of those people were killed in 2023, the report published Monday states.

LGBTQ activists have been sounding the alarm on growing anti-trans and gender-based violence in recent years, but particularly this year, when the Human Rights Campaign declared in June a national state of emergency for LGBTQ people in the U.S.

"The epidemic of violence against transgender and gender-nonconforming people is a national tragedy and a national embarrassment," said Kelly Robinson, president of the Human Rights Campaign, one of the nation’s largest LGBTQ+ civil rights organizations. "Each of the lives taken is the result of a society that demeans and devalues anyone who dares challenge the gender binary."

More than 500 anti-LGBTQ bills were introduced to state legislatures across the country this year, with many of them targeting the transgender community, according to the American Civil Liberties Union, and more than 80 of them were passed into law. The HRC said the number of bills is record-breaking.

Homeland Security officials said they saw a rise in attacks and threats toward LGBTQ people -- including bomb threats toward schools, hospitals and libraries that supported LGBTQ events, including Pride parades and drag shows.

President Joe Biden released a statement Monday condemning the disproportionate impact of violence on the transgender community and reiterated his commitment to LGBTQ equality in America.

"There is no place for hate in America and no one should be discriminated against simply for being themselves," he said. "While each one of these deaths is a tragedy -- the true toll of those victimized is likely even higher, with the majority of those targeted being women of color."

The majority of the victims killed in the last year were people of color, most of whom were Black transgender women. More than 78% of the victims were under the age of 35, and the perpetrator was known in only 66.6% of the cases, according to the HRC report.

Almost half of those victims were killed by a friend, family member or intimate partner, the HRC report states.

In 2022, the FBI reported the highest number of anti-LGBTQ hate crimes reported to date with more than 2,400 incidents, an increase of more than 32% from 2021 to 2022. Anti-LGBTQ attacks made up 21% of hate crimes, with 4% of them based on gender identity, according to the FBI.

The HRC said not all jurisdictions report their hate crime findings, and the FBI statistics don't include incidents that are not reported or bias incidents that are not defined legally as hate crimes.

"A lot of people are afraid because we are seeing both the persistent nature of high levels of individual violence ... alongside the weaponization of the state and state governments to target trans people," Imara Jones, a Black trans journalist and founder and CEO of TransLash Media, told ABC News in a recent interview.

Transgender people are over four times more likely than cisgender people to be victims of violent crime, according to a study by the Williams Institute at the UCLA School of Law.

"The epidemic of violence against the trans community that we're seeing is in part fueled by the fact that people don't view trans lives as equal," Jones said. "They hear about the murder of trans people and dismiss it as something that is natural or makes sense. And as long as we do that, we're never going to be able to end that violence."

[omgkalyppso]

5 Favorite Fics

@sevarix-blogs tagged me for fic authors self rec! Post your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers.

Alright time for a ranking. I write Explicit fics and enjoy them.

---

5. Clandestine Meetings

Chapters: 6/7 (19,630 words)

Ship: Lorenz x Sylvain

Rating: Explicit

Summary: It’s Sylorenz week! Sylvain and Lorenz are being mostly secretive about their relationship because of the expectations of their fathers. Each prompt will be a chapter as they continue with their plan to pretend to woo Hilda, knowing she is secretly involved with Claude.

This earns a place on the list especially for chapter 4 where the boys wear make up and have fun.

Here's links to ace-friendly versions of the explicit chapters: FOUR, FIVE, SIX

---

4. I Wanna Be Yours

Chapters: 34/? (135,676 words)

Ship: Claude x Lorenz x Hilda x Fae (a nonbinary My Unit OC)

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Claude helps people find their soulmates, professionally, but that doesn’t mean he wants to find his own. Tensions rise when Lorenz, his boyfriend, hires him to do just that. Meanwhile Hilda is frustrated with seeking her own soulmate and starts a budding relationship with Fae. They’ll figure it out before the end.

Another unfinished fic on the list... Soulmate AU my beloved. I will come back to you...

Here's links to ace-friendly versions of the explicit chapters: TWO, SEVEN, NINE, TEN, THIRTEEN, SEVENTEEN, TWENTY-THREE, TWENTY-FOUR, TWENTY-NINE, THIRTY-FOUR

---

3. Trust Or Something Like It

Chapters: 1/1 (6,554 words)

Ship: Sylvain x Dedue

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Sylvain likes to gift things to those he cares about. One such offering results in celebrating the end of the war with Dedue, and another more than a year later precludes hours of intimacy between them, which Sylvain concludes with a far more valuable gift.

This is a favorite both because I love my rare-pairs and because I succeeded in confining this potentially huge multi-chapter idea into one satisfying fic. I'd like to thank the boys for being agreeable about that and not forcing me to explore their angst for more than like a paragraph.

Here's a link to an ace-friendly version: LINK

---

2. Just Go With It

Chapters: 6/6 (40,484 words)

Ship: Claude x Lorenz x Hilda x Fae (a nonbinary My Unit OC)

Rating: Explicit

Summary: A Modern AU where Claude x Lorenz x Hilda x Fae (an afab nonbinary My Unit) start dating because of a slight misunderstanding with some dinner plans.

This is a favorite because it remains the only multichapter fic that I didn't post all at once that I managed to finish. Also I love Fae and their relationships and I hope this is fun for anyone who wants to read it.

Only the final chapter has sex. Here's a link to an ace-friendly version of chapter six: CHAPTER SIX

---

Sacred Dedication

Chapters: 1/1 (2,979 words)

Gen fic about Dedue Molinaro

Rating: Teen

Reunited with his allies, Dedue prays to the Duscur God of War for the strength to defend them. In the battle that follows, his finds his faith rewarded and they defeat their enemies together.

This fic was written as part of the CHOP zine which is pay-what-you-want with proceeds going to Able Gamers. I think you can still get a copy here: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1aZsSQ_qqHr0YAycKY9BKkdSdLvr6srJj/view

This is a favorite because of the work I put into Dedue's prayer and what I wanted out of the emotions in the piece and he's so precious to me.

---

I'll tag @bosspigeon, @allycryz, @lemonbronze, @reticentsunrise, @khalidistan and YOU, if anyone wants to.

[sharebazaar-intensifyresearch]

NBFC stocks as Aditya Birla Capital, Cholamandalam, REC rise on RBI liquidity stimulus

NBFC stocks as Aditya Birla Capital, Cholamandalam Financial Holdings, REC Ltd among others gained in the morning trades on Thursday as RBI is set to provide liquidity stimulus

Stock Market Today: NBFC stocks or Non Banking Financial Services companies stocks saw significant gains on the bourses during morning trades on Thursday on news flow around RBI stimulus

Aditya Birla Capital Ltd, Cholamandalam Financial Holdings Ltd, REC Ltd, Bajaj Holdings & Investment Ltd. Bajaj Finance Ltd share prices gained about 2% and above. Central Depository Services (India) Ltd. Consolidated Finvest & Holdings Ltd, Coral India Finance and Housing Ltd were among key gainers, with share prices rising up to 6% while Capital Trust Ltd share price was key outperformers with share price rising up to 4%

RBI to infuse liquidity To alleviate liquidity issues, the Reserve Bank of India or RBI plans to inject around ₹1.9 lakh crore into the banking system, as per news reports. The NBFC's have face high challenges led by high interest rates, tax outflows also foreign exchange market volatility

On a review of current and evolving liquidity conditions, the Reserve Bank has decided to conduct the certain operations that will help inject liquidity into the banking system.

Some of the actions highlighted by the RBI include the OMO purchase auctions of Government of India securities for an aggregate amount of ₹1,00,000 crore in two tranches of ₹50,000 crore each to be held on March 12, 2025 (Wednesday), and March 18, 2025 (Tuesday), as per the RBI release

The US dollar to Indian Rupee, Buy or Sell Swap auction of $ 10 billion for a tenor of thirty-six months is also planned to be held on March 24, 2025 (Monday) as per RBI

Detailed instructions for each operation shall be issued separately.

The Reserve Bank will continue to monitor evolving liquidity and market conditions and take measures as appropriate to ensure orderly liquidity conditions.

The action follows the central bank's easing of loans for microfinance and finance firms, and is viewed as part of the RBI's growth-supporting initiatives.

Profitable trade for smart plan in stock market for Hni Trading Tips understand exclusive opportunities, seek professional advice, providing 10% discount with intensify research services. Visit- intensifyresearch.com

[tridelcondos]

Luxury in the Making: Upcoming Pre-Construction Condos in Etobicoke

Etobicoke is quickly becoming one of Toronto’s most desirable locations for real estate, and the demand for pre-construction condos in Etobicoke is at an all-time high. With its waterfront views, easy access to downtown, and growing infrastructure, Etobicoke offers the perfect blend of luxury, convenience, and investment potential.

Whether you're a first-time buyer, a savvy investor, or someone looking for a future home, exploring pre-construction condos in Etobicoke is a smart move. In this blog, we’ll highlight some of the most anticipated upcoming condo projects and why this area is the perfect place to invest in luxury living.

Why Invest in Pre-Construction Condos in Etobicoke?

Growing Infrastructure & Transit Expansion Etobicoke has seen rapid growth in recent years, with new transit developments such as the Eglinton Crosstown LRT and expanded GO Transit services making it easier than ever to travel across the GTA.

Proximity to Downtown Toronto With quick access to major highways like the Gardiner Expressway and Highway 427, getting to downtown Toronto takes just 15–20 minutes, making it a prime location for professionals and families alike.

Lakefront Views & Green Spaces Many pre-construction condos in Etobicoke are being developed near the waterfront, offering breathtaking views of Lake Ontario, parks, and trails, making it an ideal location for luxury living.

High ROI Potential The real estate market in Etobicoke is thriving, with increasing property values and high rental demand. Buying in pre-construction allows investors to secure a unit at today’s prices before appreciation kicks in.

Upcoming Pre-Construction Condos in Etobicoke

1. Grand Central Mimico

Location: Mimico Developer: Vandyk Properties Highlights:

A transit-oriented community with direct access to the Mimico GO station

Mixed-use development with retail, parks, and residential condos

Sleek, modern designs with high-end finishes

2. Westline Condos

Location: Etobicoke North Developer: CentreCourt Developments Highlights:

Steps away from the future Eglinton LRT expansion

Smart home technology and energy-efficient design

Perfect for professionals and students

3. The Buckingham at Grand Central Mimico

Location: Mimico Developer: Vandyk Properties Highlights:

A luxurious tower in a master-planned community

Offers a mix of residential and retail spaces

Stunning interiors and world-class amenities

4. Thirty Six Zorra

Location: The Queensway Developer: Altree Developments Highlights:

Chic, modern architecture with spacious balconies

Resort-style amenities including a rooftop pool, fitness center, and lounge

Close to Sherway Gardens, restaurants, and entertainment

5. Park Terraces at Valhalla Town Square

Location: Islington-City Centre Developer: Edilcan Development Corporation Highlights:

A part of the larger Valhalla Town Square community

Family-friendly living with easy access to parks and schools

Stylish interiors with smart layouts

What to Look for When Buying a Pre-Construction Condo in Etobicoke

When purchasing a pre-construction condo in Etobicoke, consider the following:

✅ Reputation of the Developer – Choose trusted developers with a strong track record. ✅ Location & Accessibility – Ensure easy access to transit, highways, and amenities. ✅ Amenities & Features – Look for buildings that offer top-tier facilities like gyms, pools, and workspaces. ✅ Deposit Structure & Financing – Understand the payment schedule and financing options available. ✅ Future Growth & Appreciation – Consider how the neighborhood will develop in the next 5–10 years.

Final Thoughts

Etobicoke’s real estate market is booming, and there’s no better time to invest in pre-construction condos in Etobicoke. Whether you're looking for a stylish waterfront unit, a high-rise with city views, or a community-driven condo, Etobicoke has something for everyone.

If you're ready to explore your options, start researching upcoming projects and connect with a real estate professional to secure your spot in one of these exciting developments. Luxury is in the making—be a part of it!

[qnewsau]

What do you call a group of lesbians running? Lesbirun

New Post has been published on https://qnews.com.au/what-do-you-call-a-group-of-lesbians-running-lesbirun/

What do you call a group of lesbians running? Lesbirun

Lesbirun has grown from a group of friends looking for something different to do, to over 60 people taking part in inclusive running together.

Helen, her friends and her partner were looking for a way to make more lesbian friends in their 30s.

But what started as a conversation has turned into something much bigger, connecting women outside the club.

“It’s grown so quickly,” Helen told us.

“We had a beer and were talking about how we just don’t have enough lesbian friends and how harder it is getting in your 30s to meet people outside of drinking or clubbing.

“We thought, let’s do something outside in the morning, thinking we would create a little club and hopefully make some friends out of it.”

Thus, Lesbirun was born. The group jumped from six to thirty runners by their second run. Now they have more than 60 members and keep growing after just a couple of months.

“We aren’t the most athletic group, but we wanted to do something active and outdoors,” Helen said.

“Running was the perfect opportunity to get some fresh air and get your body moving.

“We also have a growing walking group that’s more of the social element.”

  View this post on Instagram

  A post shared by LESBIRUN (@lesbirunmelb)

Meet people in a different environment

With runs and walks up to 4 kilometres, the friends behind Lesbirun have tried to cater for all abilities.

Everyone can be a part of the group at their speed. Such a big response in a small amount of time shows that communities are looking for spaces to connect in different ways.

“It’s shown me that people wanted and needed this sort of space,” Helen said.

“A lot of the conversations that we have with our members is around how they are keen to meet queer people, meet lesbians, meet bisexual women in a different type of environment.

“The speed at which it’s grown has been a little bit overwhelming.

“But the four of us (founding members) bounce ideas on how we’re kind of going to manage this.

“Or how we even manage the coffee orders after the run.” Helen laughed.

“But we encourage you to just come and give it a try. We have a very relaxed and chill attitude. A lot of people reach out on socials, unsure about their abilities or the expectations of the club.

“We want to put people’s minds at ease. Some people are about the athletic side of things and others the socialisation.”

Lesbirun has put together a team to take part in the Melbourne Pride Run in February. So far, almost 50 members have registered.

Looking for a no-pressure way to get out and about as things warm up? Why not go for a run with other like-minded women?

You can follow and reach out to Lesbirun on Instagram here.

  View this post on Instagram

  A post shared by LESBIRUN (@lesbirunmelb)

For the latest LGBTIQA+ Sister Girl and Brother Boy news, entertainment, community stories in Australia, visit qnews.com.au. Check out our latest magazines or find us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and YouTube.

[anotherleftturn]

The Silhouette of a Man- Chapter 4

Chapter 4

1

As all the sunlight had gone on by, Eddie had turned on the light in his living room. He lived in a small house, something that he had decided on living in after divorcing his wife. The smaller the house, the more appropriate his life seemed. Eddie felt that his marriage had wilted him so badly that he didn’t have any huge boost for life anymore, so he spent most days writing when he came home, taking him away from the shallow ended marriage he had been through, a marriage that was now down the drain.

Eddie lived across the street from Julie; and at night from his window, he could see her sitting with Dirk on the couch. He wasn’t sure or not, but he could’ve sworn that Julie looked massively uncomfortable, fidgeting and squirming as if there were ants on the couch, her face a crumple of discomfort.

Eddie(much like anybody else who helped out at the Shelter) had a suspicion that Dirk was an abusive boyfriend. The thought of defending Julie had occurred to his mind, but it would be like a paper bag fighting the wind to Eddie.

He snapped himself from his thoughts and glanced out his living room window, seeing Julie fidget some more on the couch.

Eddie walked away from the window limply and sat down on his couch. He turned on his TV and started watching.

2

Dirk had fallen asleep in bed, but Julie was lying on her back, staring at the ceiling. Sometimes she couldn’t get every part of her life into perspective. Her father owned a realty business and sometimes offered her money to make due. She reluctantly took the money, believing that every time that she took her dad’s money that it would be for the last time.

Now, restless and unable to sleep, she looked to the window that faced to the left of her and Dirk’s king sized bed. The clouds had started to break away, and the moon shone down into their room. She enjoyed looking at the moon. To Julie it was a beacon of light to the world of darkness.

Dirk was a heavy sleeper, so she felt free to fidget in bed, trying to get comfortable, getting a better view of the moon.

Dirk grunted a few words in his sleep, making Julie jump a bit. She looked at the moon one last time before turning to her side and hoping for a good sleep.

3

The first feeling to connect with Julie’s sensations was one of grogginess. She never liked the feeling. It was almost like swimming through sludge. She looked at Dirk’s snoring face, his mouth gaping open while a stream of drool cascaded its way down onto his pillow. Julie eased off the bed slowly, glancing at the digital clock on the small nightstand that she and Dirk had picked out. It was six-thirty. She usually woke up around eight, wanting as much sleep as possible.

She looked to her robe which was in the closet, hung up with the rest of the clothes. The cold air of morning wrapped around her like skeletal fingers; the fact that she was wearing only an oversized t-shirt and panties made her realize why those fingers had gotten a grip of her to begin with.

She got the robe out of the closet and put it on. She left the room, leaving the door ajar. She walked to the kitchen to make some coffee, her eyes feeling as heavy as stones that morning. Why she had gotten up as early as she did, she did not really know. All that she knew was that she was up.

Ten minutes later the coffee was made, and she sat down to take a first sip. Drinking the hot coffee, she realized how satisfying that first sip could be.

She sipped from it gingerly.

Silence had engulfed the kitchen, and the silence had created an invisible dome of solace for Julie, a dome that she enjoyed very much.

She felt the healing bruise on her thigh, being reminded of last night and the barking order to clean up the beer that Dirk had been drinking. With Dirk it seemed there were good days and bad days; and that was something that conflicted with her feelings towards Dirk, like her emotions were a rope in a battle of tug war.

She suddenly heard Dirk’s wake up groan. Hearing the creak of the bedsprings, she wondered what Dirk was waking up to say good morning to her for.

The kitchen had a small window that had a view to the street. Through it she could see a tall homeless man walking down the street. Julie looked away and got ready to make breakfast for herself and Dirk.

4

Dirk had been sleeping on his side of the bed the whole night, leaving a big puddle of drool on his pillow. He got up, wiping the remaining drool off of his face. He looked to Julie’s side of the bed and saw that it was empty.

Good, he thought. To Dirk, Julie should be doing what any woman should be doing: cleaning; and cleaning well. There was no half-assing in the world of Dirk. In the world of Dirk there was what he wanted and what he didn’t want. What he didn’t want was a lazy girlfriend. What he did want was a girlfriend that would do as he said.

Dirk went to the bathroom and had a shower.

After he got out, he went to the kitchen and saw Julie drinking her coffee, looking solemn. “What’s the matter with you?” Dirk asked.

Julie turned her head to him and replied, “Just having some coffee, honey. How was your sleep?”

“Shitty,” he said, taking the seat beside Julie. He looked at her tired face, realizing that her sleep had been just as bad as his. “You look tired yourself. Didn’t you get a good sleep?”

Julie hesitated.

“Well?” he asked stiffly. “Why didn’t you get a good sleep?”

“I just couldn’t.”

Dirk grunted. “Just couldn’t,” he said with bitter amusement in his voice. “I don’t like lyin’, and you know that, Julie. You know what happens when you lie.” Dirk said this with a silent tone, a tone that Julie was all too familiar with.

“But I’m not, I swear,” Julie said, her voice teeter-tottering in nervousness. “I love you.”

Dirk considered the last part, that ever- lasting term of endearment: I love you. Sometimes he didn’t know what that meant. Sometimes he thought that she just said that to shut him up. “I love you too, baby,” he said tenderly. “I’m going to get ready for work. Could you get my lunch ready?”

“I already did. Last night.”

“Good girl,” he said soothingly, stroking her cheek with his hand. “I like it when you’re a good girl. You know that, right?”

“Yes,” she said.

“Don’t you ever be a bad girl. You know what I do with bad girls, right?” He stroked her cheek some more, and saw restrained tears well up in her eyes.

“Yes,” Julie replied, “I do. I do know what happens to bad girls.”

5

With the time that she had alone while Dirk was working, she would go about cleaning the house with a smile to her face. The silence of clinking beers or harsh yelling coming from Dirk or one of his friends was a blessing to her; but the constant sting her eyes felt when baring upon the sight of the beer cans, dirty socks that would be left on the floor(and sometimes underwear) were to a point of overbearing that she had a hard time trying to think with the aromas of each clenching to her nostrils.

When her chores were nearly done, she would sit down and drink some coffee, always enjoying the buzz that the caffeine brought to her. In the kitchen was one of her and Dirk’s extra luxuries. On a wooden shelf there was a stereo system with five CD slots, but Julie found herself only using one. She would put in her favourite CD in the world. It was an Elton John CD, and there was one song that she always found to be the highlight of the CD. It was “The One.” To her it summed up all of her feelings of what she wanted. She wanted “the one” to be in her life, and certain nights left her wondering if Dirk was the one for her.

She decided that an hour of rest was always good enough as she listened to her Elton John CD that day with the cup of coffee in her hand. The hour had run out and she knew that she had to get back to work.

There was one thing though that she wanted to do.

She walked into their bedroom, directing herself to their closet, aiming her eyes to the floor. In the middle of the closet was a black-striped, grey shoebox. Dirk thought that there had been shoes in there, but he was wrong.

Julie knelt on the floor, opened up the shoebox and brought out what was inside. It was a snow globe. Inside the snow globe were miniaturized skyscrapers, looking as gloomy and dark as the town of Back End, and walking down the street, centered for the snow globe, was a lonely, lost little girl. She was wearing a blue skirt with big purple dots on it and wearing what looked like a sailor’s hat on her head. The expression on the little girl in the snow globe was of fear and loneliness. Her mother had died the year prior, and this was all that was left to Julie from her mother.

Julie put the snow globe back, carefully placing it in the center of the shoe box. She was afraid if Dirk found it, he would think that she was splurging the money that he was making. She felt that she couldn’t spend a dime without Dirk’s eyes rising over her shoulder.

She got up and went to the living room and turned on the TV. She sat down on the couch and watched TV till she started to drift off. As if there were some kind of alarm clock in her head, she jolted awake and remembered that there was work to be done.

When she did her chores, the thought of Dirk frustrated her. She had fallen in love with what she knew was an aggressive man, but Julie didn’t realize how aggressive Dirk would get when angry. This made her rub her thigh.

In her mind the sight of the Homeless Shelter made her feel better. It also made her feel better knowing which time that she always left for the Homeless Shelter.

“Three o’ clock,” she said melodically, as she started cleaning the dishes.

[whitelandbuilders]

Indulge In A Life Of Luxury And Comfort At Whiteland Sector 103

Whiteland Group has introduced its new property in Sector 103, Gurugram. Whiteland Sector 103 has big apartments. They have 3 rooms and 4 rooms flats. They also have a servant room and a study room. Whiteland is building these flats on a lot of land. The land is very big; it is 9.58 acres. 

These flats are close to the Dwarka Expressway. Dwarka Expressway joins Delhi and Gurgaon. Many people work in Delhi and live in Gurgaon. Whiteland Sector 103 flats will help people live close to their work. 

Whiteland is building these flats carefully. They are making sure all rooms get sunlight and air. Whiteland Sector 103 flats will have open views from 3 sides. This will make the flats bright and nice. Whiteland wants to make good-quality flats for people. They are setting new rules to build well. 

These flats are near the Dwarka Expressway. Dwarka Expressway is a big and important road. It connects many parts of Delhi and Gurgaon. Many offices and new buildings are coming on this road. New malls and hospitals will also open near these flats. So people can go to many places easily from Whiteland Sector 103.  

Whiteland Sector 103 Location Benefits

First of all, the Dwarka Expressway is in close proximity to Whiteland 103 Sector.

Furthermore, the closest roads to Whiteland 103 Sector are Dharampur Road and Sector Road.

Additionally, Whiteland 103 may accessed from Badshahpur Jheel in ten minutes by automobile.

Not to mention Whiteland 103 Gurugram, which is 11 kilometers from Millennium City Center.

Meanwhile, from Gurgaon Railway Station, it takes 12 minutes to go to Whiteland 103 Gurugram.

Whiteland 103 Gurugram is eighteen kilometers away from Golf Course Extension Road.

In addition, the trip from Whiteland Sector 103 Gurugram to the planned ISBT site at Kherki Daula takes thirty-six minutes.

Similarly, the distance between IGI Airport and Whiteland Sector 103 Gurugram is twenty-five kilometers.

Whiteland Sector 103 flats will have a big clubhouse. In the clubhouse, people can use a swimming pool. There will be a place to exercise and play games. Residents can also have big parties in the halls. Children can play many sports in the clubhouse. People will enjoy spending time with friends and family here.

The area around Whiteland Sector 103 is developing fast. More residential and commercial projects will come up nearby. This will attract more people to the location. As a result, property prices expected to rise steadily. Therefore, investing in Whiteland 103 flats makes financial sense.

In conclusion, this residential project by Whiteland Gurgaon offers a premium living experience. The spacious 3 and 4 BHK apartments provide a comfortable abode. Residents can enjoy top-class amenities within the complex. Moreover, the location is very convenient due to its proximity to key infrastructure. Overall, it presents an excellent opportunity for homeowners and investors alike to elevate their lifestyles. 

[heaven-s-black-box]

Saturday- cafe Recht Chpt.6

Return to File

Recovery date: September 7th, 2020

Description: Miles owns a cafe with Franziska, and Phoenix and Maya are famous actors. Their daughters go to school together, so what happens when they want a sleepover?

Notes: A entry series involving a descendant of a traveler, following the death of her mother it was determined Sky would be better off staying with Miles Edgeworth. This is an OC insert, the fantastical technobabble is just for looks

Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

Word count: 1 318

Back to directory

The rest of the week had been rather uneventful for everyone. Aside from the mini heart attacks Franziska had whenever Maya stopped by for coffee, the only other thing of interest was Klavier’s announcement of a Gavineer’s concert. Athena had gone to school one other day that week, Thursday, and had gone to the cafe after school with everyone else. It had become a daily occurrence to see Sky enter, followed by a group of high schoolers.

Saturday came quickly, and while Trucy was more than excited for her first “ real” sleepover (no, the times her and Pearl slept over at whoever’s didn’t count, they were practically cousins), the astronomy club’s fair came first. 

“Wow!” Trucy said, as they entered the gym.

It was set up a lot like a science fair, each table had a model or poster board. But there was a scale model of the solar system, hanging from the ceiling, and the lights were out. There was glow in the dark tape, marking the path, and everyone got a glow stick wristband. Each station was lit up in it’s own fun way so you could see it clearly.

“So, where do you two wanna start?” Apollo asked. Pearl and Trucy were holding both his hands, so they wouldn’t get lost. 

“Clay’s station!”

“Okay,” he looked down at the map, and just like everything else, it glowed in the dark. “It should be this way.” He pulled the girls off to the right.

“So, what is his on?” Pearl asked.

“It says he did an interview.” Once they were in view of Clay, Apollo let the girls run off towards him. He already had a small crowd around him, but once they arrived he started.

“Hello ladies and gentlemen, fellow space nerds. My name is Clay Terran, and I’m the vice-president of the astronomy club. For my presentation, I did something a bit different than everyone else, I went and got an interview with an astronaut.” There were a few murmurs from the crowd, but it quickly fell quiet again. “I was lucky enough to get an interview with astronaut Solomon Starbuck, who will be going into space on the HAT-1 mission this october. But I’m sure you don’t want to listen to me read his answers, so I recorded the interview. I was also able to ask some of the other employees questions. So, please enjoy it.”

*Beep*

”Hello, I’m Clay Terran, vice-president of Watson highschool’s Astronomy club, and I’m here today with astronaut Solomon Starbuck, Psychologist Metis Cykes, and robotist Aura Blackquill.”

“Hello, I’m Solomon Starbuck, and I’ll be one of the astronauts on the HAT-1 mission.”

“Hello, I’m Metis Cykes, and I’m a psychologist collaborating with the space center on a robotics project.”

“Hello, I’m Aura Blackquill, and I’m a robotist working with Dr. Cykes on a robotics project for the space center.”

“Alright, so the first question is for Mr. Starbuck…”

Throughout the interview, they discussed astronaut training, the psychological impact going to space has on astronauts, and some of the technical behind the scenes stuff. Clay even had a few pictures to share, and his own space center jacket. It was obvious to everyone watching that Clay had enjoyed his work.

By the time they had thoroughly explored the stations, and taken part in some silly space themed activities and trivia, it was six thirty. While the event had started around eleven thirty, they had arrived near the end so they didn’t have to wait around for Clay. 

“That was so cool!” Pearl exclaimed when Clay met them outside the school. 

“It looked like you had a lot of fun,” Apollo smiled. He didn’t think he’d ever seen Clay this excited.

“Thank you Pearly, and I did. It was a nice break from exam prep.”

“Polly’s been studying wayyy too much! Daddy has to keep reminding him to sleep, and that he still has a week,” Trucy laughed, as they made their way back to the Wright’s apartment.

“I just want to be sure I remember everything,” Apollo huffed.

“Working yourself into the ground won’t help that,” Clay laughed, as he slung an arm around Apollo’s shoulders. “I got an idea! Some of the club members were talking about an upcoming Gavineer’s concert, you and I are going.”

“Gavineer’s? Isn’t that that weird law band?” Clay turned to him with a look of offence.

“How dare you call the Gavineer’s weird! But yes, they are the band that sings about law. Besides, just think of it like my early birthday present.”

“First, what they sing about doesn't count as law, it’s at best, thinly veiled innuendos. Secondly, your birthday isn’t for almost three months.”

“He said early present though,” Pearl said.

“Ya Polly, weren’t you listening,” Trucy giggled, sticking her tongue out.

“Three months is too early for an early birthday present!”

---

“Hi papa,” Sky sighed, as she closed the door and buckled herself in.

“Hello, how was dance?” Miles looked up at her through the rear view mirror. She let out a long groan.

“My body wants to die!” 

He chuckled before saying, “Well, cheer up. You have your sleepover tonight don’t forget, and aunt Kath gave me a cupcake recipe for you girls to make.” Her eyes lit up immediately. “They should get there a bit after us. So when we get home, go change.”

“Yay!”

---

“Athena!” Sky yelled, as she got out of her car. She ran at the girl, and tackled her in a hug. “Hi Junnie!”

“Hi Sky, how have you been?”

“Good! What about you? I didn’t see you all week,” Sky said, hugging her. Both Athena and Juniper were slightly taller than her.

“Where were you?” Athena asked. “And what’s with your hair, it’s never up.”

“Oh, I had dance. Come on, let’s head in. Papa said he got a cupcake recipe we can make once the others get here.”

Athena and Juniper sat downstairs, while Sky went to put her pajamas on. While she was gone, Pearl and Trucy arrived.

“Hi, I’m Phoenix Wright. You must be Mr. Edgeworth,” Phoenix said, and shook Miles’s hand, while Trucy and Pearl went to sit with Athena and Juniper.

“Yes, it’s a pleasure to meet you. My daughter is a big fan of yours, I was quite surprised when I found out you were Trucy’s father.”

“Ya, well. We try to keep that on the down low so her and Apollo can have a normal time at school.”

“Understandable. Would you like to have a cup of coffee, or do you need to be getting back?”

“Uh, I would love to, but I need t-”

“Eeee!” Came a squeal, before Sky clamped her hands around her mouth and apologized to Athena with a quick, “Sorry.” But she wasn't down for long as she ran up to Phoenix with a beaming smile. “You’re Phoenix Wright. Phoenix Wright is in our cafe. Papa, Phoenix Wright is in our cafe!” She turned to her father who was trying hard not to laugh.

“Yes, he is. But you need to keep it down, and apologize to Athena properly.” Her smile dropped, and she ran over to her friend.

“I’m sorry Thena,” she mumbled, giving her a big hug. “I just got really excited.”

“It’s okay, it wasn’t too bad.” Athena smiled, even though it had caused her quite a bit of pain. “But, why did you two come with Phoenix Wright?” Athena asked, turning to Pearl and Trucy.

Trucy tilted her head and frowned slightly, before saying, “He’s my daddy.” The room fell silent, as Athena, Sky, and Juniper stared in shock.

“Well, I need to be getting back. Maya’s picking you guys up tomorrow. Bye Mr. Edgeworth, it was nice meeting you!” The bell chimed as the door closed, then the room fell back into silence.

“Well then,” Miles said, clasping his hands, “who wants to make cupcakes.”

[bike42]

Tuesday September 26, 2023

I was awake before six, so I got up and did a full yoga session before breakfast - felt great after eating so much yesterday! We had a nice breakfast and time to spare before Route Rap at 9am this morning.

Thirty minute shuttle to Portloe, was a tiny fishing village, but now a bit taken over but vacation rentals. Conservation laws preserve the character of the village. Mike, the professor/historian joined us again for the day - his family descended from here since the 1500s.

Most of the land we walked through today is part of the National Trust - land acquired by donations. It’s a charity/ non-profit. Many aristocrats after WWII couldn’t afford their estates, so they were often donated, and they’d be allowed to live in a wing. While some land is used for grazing, it’s mostly kept wild with access for hiking. Cale had told us this morning that much of the land is also designated as AOAB - Area of Outstanding Beauty, which puts restrictions on how land can be utilized (one third of Cornwall falls into that category).

It was great to have Mike along to talk about the history of the area. He recommended a book called “White Gold” - telling the story of a million people taken from these shores by Barbary pirates. What I hadn’t ever learned or considered, is that Cornwall has Gaelic ties much like Ireland and Scotland and is closely affiliated with the Brittany region of France, across the English Channel but closer than London! Like Scotland, there is a nationalist movement that seeks greater autonomy within the UK. Also like what we saw in Ireland and Scotland, the original language, Cornish in this case, had all but died but a revival is taking place and it now appears on road signs and is being taught in schools.

We hiked to a point called Nairs Head - during WWII, they built a fake city in order to lure the Germans into bombing there versus a real city. This area was heavily bombed before the Blitz, over 100 attacks here 1939-1940. Now the site of a 1950’s Cold War bunker, with an amazing view of the huge harbor.

The morning was a 4+ mile hike to Carne Beach where Joel had a table set up with snack, local ales and ciders for sampling. The day turned sunny, and actually HOT for the first time in weeks for us. I was hiking in a sleeveless shirt! The guides had talked about swimming at lunch, so I had packed my suit and towel in my pack. I went behind a rock to change, Jeff decided to swim in his boxers. We went out into the cold water with Mike, Perry and Cale. It was probably to coldest water I’d ever dove into, but super refreshing too. The waves were really awesome, the kind we like to dive into. But just a few dives and we were out of there! Mike does a cold water swim every day, so he stayed in longer.

We dried off, sampled some cider, changed our clothes and walked up to a restaurant above the beach for an awesome lunch, outside on the patio enjoying the day. Jeff and I sat with Mike and enjoyed swapping stories. He was very curious about what “work culture” and benefits are like in the US compared to the UK. He said Europeans look at the Britons as working too hard, and the Britons think of the US as working too hard. Interesting.

We walked another 3.5 miles down the coast, a smaller group of 8 as others opted to shuttle back after lunch. Beautiful scenery, with ups and downs. Once the trail brought us to a beautiful beach where no one was around - amazing!

As we approached Portscathos, there was a Coast Guard shack that has been converted to CoastWatch - manned by volunteers every day, mainly looking for wildlife. We also came upon the “Hidden Hut,” a cute bar / cafe over a secluded beach, which we learned had been a great outdoor hang out for many during COVID.

We ended in Portscathos at an adorable pub - Plume of Feathers, and had a round of Gin and Tonics before our 20 minute shuttle back to St Mawes.

Port = harbor

Scatho = boat

I soaked in the tub for a bit, then we dressed warm for our Seafood BBQ on the patio overlooking the harbor. Gorgeous evening, with the moon rising. Food was bleh, but ambiance was over the top.

Sounds like the remnants of another hurricane are about to hit bringing rain and high winds to our trip once again, so our leaders are scrambling to ensure we can do a safe hike tomorrow … we’ll probably stay off the cliffs!