#PerfectShape

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Mamma’s daughter

Into the Wilderness: Story 46

June marks two sad milestones for my sister and me. On June 15, 33 years ago, our dear mother passed away. June 29 would have been her 88th birthday. In some years, these dates slip by, the loss a pattern of early summer, as familiar as the still-blossoming trees, the chirping baby birds and the bouncing fawns. But other years, the loss leaches parasitically into my heart and lungs and squeezes. This year was one of those, a symbiotic ache. I didn’t need to look at the calendar. I knew what date it was.

My mom died of Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS), made famous by baseball player Lou Gerhrig. It’s a devastating motor neuron disease. Nerve cells in the brain and spine degenerate so that the neurons no longer respond to stimuli, paralyzing the person’s ability to walk, eat, speak and breathe. As the disease progresses, the sufferer becomes locked inside, unable to interact, communicate or care for one’s self. With no available cure, a person will die, usually an average of 2.5 years from diagnosis.

The degenerative symptoms are devastating. A once healthy person erodes and immobilizes. Their cognitive processes, hearing and eyesight remain, so they are essentially alive in a mummified body. The ensuing anxiety is terrifying. Can you imagine a state of aware immobilization? Connection is the human condition. That is gone.

My father, sister and I, with the help of many medical professionals, hospice nurses and health aides, cared for my mom. I helped bathe my mother, fix her hair and makeup and dress her. I also cooked her meals moving to softer and softer foods until a feeding tube had to be inserted. One day, an oxygen cannula was added and multiple ports for pain and anxiety management. Special equipment, Hoyer lifts, hospital beds, wheelchairs, leg braces, food pumps and much more took over the atrium-like, sun-filled room she laid in. She could watch the birds at the feeders- cardinals, blue jays, robins, grackles, goldfinches, doves, hummingbirds- perch, swoop, soar and nibble. It was her joy to watch nature’s display. Now, my mother is an automatic thought when I see cardinals, doves and hummingbirds.

My mother was lonely most of her adult like. She had left her family in New Orleans to marry my father and move to Oklahoma. She knew no one. She maintained a too-perfect house, always provided a homemade dinner, exercised and cared for everyone but herself. She made many friends but those eventually fizzled out.

So she turned to food- not eating it, but rather learning chef-level cooking skills. She met and took lessons from Julia Child, Simone Beck, Jacques Pepin, Alice Waters, Madhur Jaffery, and countless others. My sister and I still have their cookbooks signed with personal notes and encouragement. She took cooking lessons in France, New York, and San Francisco. She made elaborate 7-course dinners for my dad’s out of town clients. On these occasions, I was her sous chef, cutting, chopping, stirring, washing the delicate China, crystal and silver. I’d sit in the kitchen listening to the adults laughing and joking while praising her incredible food. With each ended course, I’d wash the dishes and help her ready the next dish.

This is how I learned to cook: by osmosis. Mamma didn’t use recipes unless absolutely necessary, so I innately got the feel for measurements- a pinch, a teaspoon, tablespoon and cup. I can still eyeball them with incredible accuracy. I never wanted to be the chef she dreamed of being, but I did want to be her tutee absorbing every trick she learned. By the time I moved away for graduate school, I had my memorized lists of dishes and the few cookbooks my mom appreciated. This was my inheritance.

My mother became ill two years into my grad school. I knew I would go home to her, in spite of academic discouragement. I headed back to Oklahoma and began to fix the dishes she loved while she could eat it. Louisiana-style Barbecue shrimp, her bolognese sauce, avgolemono soup, pastitsio, soufflés, meatballs. As her ability to swallow diminished, I made crema- a soft Greek custard with which she could swallow her medications. When those days ended, I started baking cakes, cheesecakes, cookies and other yummies she had once enjoyed making. I didn’t want to forget while she could still point and nod. I especially loved a lemon bar recipe that I have misplaced. These kitchen endeavors were my way of embedding her memories in my brain.

Being 33 years without a mother is like climbing free solo. There’s no one to guide, encourage, advise. There’s no one to steady you, warn you, say. “Don’t do it.” It’s incredibly risky. I was in my 20s when she died. I have, therefore, spent all of my adult experiences without her presence or guidance. I would finish graduate school, start an academic career, get married and move across the US, change careers, move again without any of her words to guide me. More school, more work, children, divorce, financial loss, traumas- all occurred without a mother’s wisdom to prod and guide. I had to figure out on my own- and sometimes I did a lousy job.

Not having a mamma has created a shadow behind me, her small feet stepping into my own small footsteps rather than my larger ones expansively remolding hers. I carry her with me, because even today, I don’t want to live without her. With each dish I make, her words on seasonings and measurements and stirring enfold my hands as if she enfolds me. The loss will never be gone. But her memories fill the gaps grief has carved. With these, I am my mother’s daughter

I would love to hear from you, even if, especially if, you disagree. Perhaps we can bring back the American tradition of debate. Please like and share this blog with others. Subscribe to receive it by email and go directly to the Walk the Moon website (www.walk-the-moon.com) to peruse the full collection of articles and updates. You can email me from the Walk the Moon website as well.

Source: Mamma’s daughter

[originaldiscovery]

ブログ更新しました！

【新着記事】2021年最新！美容マニアYukoおすすめのダイエット・美容グッズ10選✨ - SlimFit: 美しいボディラインを目指すEMS美容マシン - GlowBeauty: 肌悩み改善に効果的な美容器具 - PureGlow: 乾燥肌対策にぴったりな美容オイル - SunshineDiet: 食事制限をサポートするサプリメント - PerfectShape: 着るだけでプロポーション美人になれるボディシェイパー - 他5アイテムもチェック！詳細記事はこちら→ (記事URL) #美容好き #ダイエット #最新情報 #美容マニアYuko #スリムビューティー 「2021年最新！美容マニアYukoおすすめのダイエット・美容グッズ10選」

[prommytheus]

okay heathcliff is actually so cute and perfectshaped. and madisons rocking that sick as hell fur pattern i hope one of them wins

i hope a working group dog wins this year. i respect working dogs more than the troops. which isn’t saying much because i don’t respect the troops at all but still

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[perfectshapeharga-blog]

Atas 10 terbaik Perfect Shape Pelatih pinggang-terbaik pinggang Cinchers ulasan 2019

Menjadi penggemar besar dari serial televisi (peringkat dari drama rumah sakit seperti er atau grey's Anatomy untuk sukses baru-baru ini Glee) aku apak mengakui bahwa aku sudah menjadi pecandu sejati untuk Mad men. Perfect Shape Waist Trainer Sejak episode pertama, jelas bahwa itu akan menjadi sesuatu yang sebelumnya tak terlihat di televisi. Sekarang kita sudah berakhir Season Four dan itu tidak kehilangan pesona, kesempurnaan dan keindahan belaka.

Perfect Shape Waist Trainer - Janie Bryant kostum adalah seperti sumber inspirasi saya ingin memasukkan mesin waktu dan berlaku sebagai Sekretaris di Sterling Cooper Draper harga.

Pada kenyataannya, Anda bahkan tidak harus menjadi Sekretaris, Anda dapat bergabung dengan ibu rumah tangga, juga! Mereka Betty Draper ansambel membuat saya bertanya-tanya: Apakah semua tinggal di rumah ibu dalam gaun 60-an di gaun yang disetrika sempurna dan tidur di Daster halus?

Juga, lihat di musim ini Sally Draper (seorang gadis!) pakaian: membuat saya ingin membuat serangan di lemari pakaiannya atau setidaknya mencuri beberapa ide.

Mode tahun ini penuh dengan referensi untuk Mad men: Marc Jacobs untuk Louis Vuitton telah menunjukkan beberapa gaun yang luar biasa, dengan rok lingkaran penuh dan desain bunga. Perfect Shape Waist Trainer Prada mengambil inspirasi juga dari tatanan rambut dari Madison Ave. Ladies. Pointy anak kucing tumit (dengan busur!) kembali di baris pertama, mantel ayunan dan dompet elegan akan terlihat lebih banyak musim dingin ini.

Meskipun, ada masalah kecil. Seluruh adegan 60-an dengan rok pinggang yang waspy dan gaun tidak berjalan dengan baik dengan proporsi pinggang saya saat ini.

Jadi, saya harus belajar menjahit dan membeli beberapa kain vintage cantik yang dapat ditemukan di eBay. Perfect Shape Waist Trainer Atau menemukan penjahit yang baik, orang yang akan mampu membuat gaun yang sempurna hanya dari melihat gambar dari sebuah majalah. Atau, solusi termudah dari semua, menemukan korset sangat baik, yang akan membuat saya cocok di salah satu gaun itu! Saya melihat bahwa Lingerie retro juga kembali, dipasangkan dengan renda, yang lain antara fashion besar comebacks tahun ini.

I'ma bit pada kerugian: saya telah membaca bahwa berolahraga tidak langsung sebanding dengan penurunan sentimeter pinggang. Perfect Shape Waist Trainer Aku harus mengurangi pasta, roti dan kue dan meningkatkan konsumsi protein (apakah itu getar atau daging-khususnya ayam dan unggas). Aku harus melupakan semua praline yang indah di kotak berbentuk hati dan melangkah di atas treadmill. Aku harus melupakan tumit stiletto dan memakai beberapa jelek bentuk-up pelatih dalam perjalanan untuk bekerja?

Tapi kemudian, apa yang dimaksud dengan pengorbanan kecil 3 bulan dibandingkan dengan gaya yang cantik Betty Draper gaun? Atau Haruskah aku hanya pergi untuk gaya Joan Holloway dan tetap melengkung dan bahagia?

Beli Sekarang - https://www.gncgo.org/id/perfect-shape-ulasan/ Beli Sekarang - https://www.gncgo.org/id/bustiere-ulasan/ Beli Sekarang - https://www.gncgo.org/id/lefery-acr/ Beli Sekarang - https://sites.google.com/site/gncgoindonesia/perfect-shape-waist-trainer Beli Sekarang - https://gncgoindonesia.blogspot.com/2019/10/perfect-shape.html Beli Sekarang - http://gncgo.over-blog.com/perfect-shape-waist-trainer Beli Sekarang - https://gncgo.hatenablog.com/entry/2019/10/16/044212 Beli Sekarang - https://perfectshapewaisttrainer.blogspot.com/ Beli Sekarang - https://sites.google.com/site/perfectshapewaisttrainer/

[sincoherencyliane]

Envisagez-vous de perdre de la graisse et de la cellulite sur votre corps mais n'avez pas le temps de faire de la gym ? Pendant ce mois de confinement, trop de prise et pas d'exercice ? Pourquoi tes amis sont toujours en forme ? Le secret est là : machine KUMASHAPE X avec radiofréquence, roues roulantes, aspiration et lumière infrarouge Commentaires de notre client, un patient perd 2,5 cm de ventre demi-mois après le traitement. Il aspire la peau et roule dessus comme un massage. La radiofréquence chauffe la peau à plus de 40 degrés pour brûler les cellules graisseuses sans endommager les autres tissus. Pendant le traitement, on a l'impression d'un massage chaud. Deux pièces à main disponibles pour le corps et le visage. Plus de poignées RF sont disponibles pour une utilisation. Maintenant en promotion spéciale. Renseignez-vous pour plus d'informations. #fatreduction #reducefat #removefatcells #nodowntime #stabletemperature #lovehandles #muffintop #stubbornbulges #fatfreezetreatment #bodyshape #loseweight #burnfat #perfectshape #radiofréquence #beautysalon #beautydevice #aestheticsalon #medspa #RFpower https://www.instagram.com/p/CQci9nQj5EO3auL82X4-CFJp8cPXXMQN6RwQHI0/?utm_medium=tumblr

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[alexardenti]

@dr.massimo.spattini Repost Some people ask me why I still train so hard, why I diet so strictly, why I always look for the "perfect shape". To them I reply: "Because that's what I do best!" Alcune persone mi chiedono perché mi alleno ancora così duramente, perché sto a dieta così rigorosamente, perché ricerco sempre la “forma perfetta”. A loro rispondo: “Perché è quello che so fare meglio!”. Photo shoot in Malibu by Alex Ardenti. #bodybuilding #perfectshape #fitness #diet #trainhard @alexardenti (at Malibu, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/B1q1IULj9xl/?igshid=1chfm9y2acn9i

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