#Php email

[phoenixfangs]

i didnt used to understand professors or bosses sending the most short, illegible, childish looking emails (sent from smart device tag, emojis, no capitalization, informal language, just signing it with their first name) for what is Supposed to be important work or business, until i started working in an office

i do not have the fucking energy to respond to every email with a well thought out, polite, professional, human response. ur getting an emoji reaction sent from my galaxy samsung s22+, stephanie, because after all of the reading and writing ive Been doing today, ur lucky i can even see straight

[exactly103]

okay. extremities tingling and near constant dizziness are still here. BUT i have a doctors appointment i've essentially been waiting years for in two days so the plan is to hold on until then and talk to him about it and if he has no clue / recommends a different specialist then i'll probably push for the er to see if they can do smth to temporarily help

[phpgurukul1]

How to send email from localhost using PHP

In this tutorial, we will learn how to send an email from localhost using PHP and Gmail. In the PHP web application, mail() function used to send the mail. But mail() function will not work in the localhost environment. In this tutorial, we will send an email from the localhost system using PHP and Gmail.

In this tutorial, we will use PHPmailer to send email from the localhost using PHP. The PHPmailer library provides the way to send an email from localhost with the SMTP server using PHP. We will use the Gmail account as an SMTP server to sending the email from localhost. Before using the Gmail SMTP server we need to configure the setting in our Gmail account.

Click: https://phpgurukul.com/how-to-send-email-from-localhost-using-php/

Login into your google account.

Go to the security page.

<?php

use PHPMailer\PHPMailer\PHPMailer;

use PHPMailer\PHPMailer\Exception;

require ‘vendor/autoload.php’;

$mail = new PHPMailer;

if(isset($_POST[‘send’])){

// getting post values

$fname=$_POST[‘fname’];

$toemail=$_POST[‘toemail’];

$subject=$_POST[‘subject’];

$message=$_POST[‘message’];

$mail->isSMTP(); // Set mailer to use SMTP

$mail->Host = ‘smtp.gmail.com’; // Specify main and backup SMTP servers

$mail->SMTPAuth = true; // Enable SMTP authentication

$mail->Username = ‘yourgmailid@gmail.com’; // SMTP username

$mail->Password = ‘Your_Gmail_Password’; // SMTP password

$mail->SMTPSecure = ‘tls’; // Enable TLS encryption, `ssl` also accepted

$mail->Port = 587; // TCP port to connect to

$mail->setFrom(‘yourgmailid@gmail.com’, ‘Your_Name’);

$mail->addReplyTo(‘yourgmailid@gmail.com’, ‘Your_Name’);

$mail->addAddress($toemail); // Add a recipient

// $mail->addCC(‘cc@example.com’); // Set CC Email here

// $mail->addBCC(‘bcc@example.com’); // Set BCC Email here

$mail->isHTML(true); // Set email format to HTML

$bodyContent=$message;

$mail->Subject =$subject;

$bodyContent = ‘Dear’.$fname;

$bodyContent .=’<p>’.$message.’</p>’;

$mail->Body = $bodyContent;

if(!$mail->send()) {

echo ‘Message could not be sent.’;

echo ‘Mailer Error: ‘ . $mail->ErrorInfo;

} else {

echo ‘Message has been sent’;

}

}

?>

Explanation of the above code

Include the PHPMailer library and create an instance of this class.

Set SMTP credentials (host, username, password, and port).

Specify sender name and email ($mail->setFrom('yourgmailid@gmail.com', 'Your_Name')).

Set recipient email address ($mail->addAddress($toemail)).

Set email subject ($mail->Subject).

Set the body content of the email ($mail->Subject =$subject;).

Use the mail->send() method of PHPMailer class to send an email.

Here is the Full code with HTML Form and PHP Code

<?php

use PHPMailer\PHPMailer\PHPMailer;

use PHPMailer\PHPMailer\Exception;

require ‘vendor/autoload.php’;

$mail = new PHPMailer;

if(isset($_POST[‘send’])){

// getting post values

$fname=$_POST[‘fname’];

$toemail=$_POST[‘toemail’];

$subject=$_POST[‘subject’];

$message=$_POST[‘message’];

$mail->isSMTP(); // Set mailer to use SMTP

$mail->Host = ‘smtp.gmail.com’; // Specify main and backup SMTP servers

$mail->SMTPAuth = true; // Enable SMTP authentication

$mail->Username = ‘yourgmailid@gmail.com’; // SMTP username

$mail->Password = ‘Your_Gmail_Password’; // SMTP password

$mail->SMTPSecure = ‘tls’; // Enable TLS encryption, `ssl` also accepted

$mail->Port = 587; // TCP port to connect to

$mail->setFrom(‘yourgmailid@gmail.com’, ‘Your_Name’);

$mail->addReplyTo(‘yourgmailid@gmail.com’, ‘Your_Name’);

$mail->addAddress($toemail); // Add a recipient

// $mail->addCC(‘cc@example.com’);

// $mail->addBCC(‘bcc@example.com’);

$mail->isHTML(true); // Set email format to HTML

$bodyContent=$message;

$mail->Subject =$subject;

$bodyContent = ‘Dear’.$fname;

$bodyContent .=’<p>’.$message.’</p>’;

$mail->Body = $bodyContent;

if(!$mail->send()) {

echo ‘Message could not be sent.’;

echo ‘Mailer Error: ‘ . $mail->ErrorInfo;

} else {

echo ‘Message has been sent’;

}

}

?>

<!DOCTYPE html>

<html lang=”en”>

<head>

<meta charset=”utf-8">

<meta name=”viewport” content=”width=device-width, initial-scale=1, shrink-to-fit=no”>

<title>How to send email from localhost using PHP</title>

<link rel=”stylesheet” href=”https://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Roboto|Courgette|Pacifico:400,700">

<link rel=”stylesheet” href=”https://stackpath.bootstrapcdn.com/bootstrap/4.5.0/css/bootstrap.min.css">

<link rel=”stylesheet” href=”https://maxcdn.bootstrapcdn.com/font-awesome/4.7.0/css/font-awesome.min.css">

<script src=”https://code.jquery.com/jquery-3.5.1.min.js"></script>

<script src=”https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/npm/popper.js@1.16.0/dist/umd/popper.min.js"></script>

<script src=”https://stackpath.bootstrapcdn.com/bootstrap/4.5.0/js/bootstrap.min.js"></script>

<style>

body {

color: #000;

background: #fcda2e;

font-family: “Roboto”, sans-serif;

}

.contact-form {

padding: 50px;

margin: 30px auto;

}

.contact-form h1 {

font-size: 42px;

font-family: ‘Pacifico’, sans-serif;

margin: 0 0 50px;

text-align: center;

}

.contact-form .form-group {

margin-bottom: 20px;

}

.contact-form .form-control, .contact-form .btn {

min-height: 40px;

border-radius: 2px;

}

.contact-form .form-control {

border-color: #e2c705;

}

.contact-form .form-control:focus {

border-color: #d8b012;

box-shadow: 0 0 8px #dcae10;

}

.contact-form .btn-primary, .contact-form .btn-primary:active {

min-width: 250px;

color: #fcda2e;

background: #000 !important;

margin-top: 20px;

border: none;

}

.contact-form .btn-primary:hover {

color: #fff;

}

.contact-form .btn-primary i {

margin-right: 5px;

}

.contact-form label {

opacity: 0.9;

}

.contact-form textarea {

resize: vertical;

}

.bs-example {

margin: 20px;

}

</style>

</head>

<body>

<div class=”container-lg”>

<div class=”row”>

<div class=”col-md-8 mx-auto”>

<div class=”contact-form”>

<h1>Get in Touch</h1>

<form method=”post”>

<div class=”row”>

<div class=”col-sm-6">

<div class=”form-group”>

<label for=”inputName”>Name</label>

<input type=”text” class=”form-control” id=”inputName” name=”fname” required>

</div>

</div>

<div class=”col-sm-6">

<div class=”form-group”>

<label for=”inputEmail”>Email</label>

<input type=”email” class=”form-control” id=”inputEmail” name=”toemail” required>

</div>

</div>

</div>

<div class=”form-group”>

<label for=”inputSubject”>Subject</label>

<input type=”text” class=”form-control” id=”inputSubject” name=”subject” required>

</div>

<div class=”form-group”>

<label for=”inputMessage”>Message</label>

<textarea class=”form-control” id=”inputMessage” name=”message” rows=”5" required></textarea>

</div>

<div class=”text-center”>

<button type=”submit” class=”btn btn-primary” name=”send”><i class=”fa fa-paper-plane”></i> Send</button>

</div>

</form>

</div>

</div>

</div>

</div>

</body>

</html>

PHP Gurukul

Welcome to PHPGurukul. We are a web development team striving our best to provide you with an unusual experience with PHP. Some technologies never fade, and PHP is one of them. From the time it has been introduced, the demand for PHP Projects and PHP developers is growing since 1994. We are here to make your PHP journey more exciting and useful.

Website : https://phpgurukul.com

[vrrittih]

[mustafabukulmez-blog]

PHP Mail Açılıp Açılmadığını Kontrol Etmek

Merhabalar, bu yazımda PHP Mail Açılıp Açılmadığını Kontrol Etmek işlemini yani PHP ile bir gönderdiğimiz bir mail adresinin, gönderdiğimiz kişi tarafından açılıp açılmadığını nasıl kontrol edeceğimizi belirleyeceğiz.   PHP Mail Açılıp Açılmadığını Kontrol Etmek Bazen sistemlerimiz üzerinden toplu mailler atarız ve mail gönderdiğimiz kişilerin bu mailleri açıp açmadığını merak ederiz. Hatta bazı…

[pressplaytech]

Embracing the Future of WordPress Development with Full Site Editing (FSE)

WordPress, the veritable titan of the content management system (CMS) world, never ceases to evolve and innovate. One of the most buzzworthy subjects circulating in the WordPress development community is Full Site Editing (FSE), a feature that promises to revolutionize how users and developers interact with the platform. The advent of FSE will certainly impact how themes are developed, used, and extended, both for developers and end-users.

What is Full Site Editing (FSE)?

Full Site Editing is a part of the WordPress project’s Phase 2 in the implementation of Gutenberg, the block editor introduced in WordPress 5.0. FSE extends the utility of the block editor beyond posts and pages, allowing users to manage and customize all elements of their website using a block-based interface. With it, you can control and design headers, footers, sidebars, and more, all without having to delve into theme code. The global styles and settings can be modified to control the entire site's design from one place.

The Impact on Theme Development

Traditional WordPress themes may experience a seismic shift with the proliferation of FSE. This feature is bound to streamline the theme development process, as the dependency on intricate PHP files and CSS will be diminished.

Simplified Development: Developers can focus on crafting block patterns and styles rather than juggling numerous template files.

User Empowerment: FSE empowers users with little to no coding knowledge to have more control over their website’s design and layout, thus widening the user demographic.

Modular Design: The modularity of block design makes it easier to manage, update, and swap out design elements without affecting the overall site functionality.

Unified Experience: The integration of a consistent block editor throughout the entire site management process affords users a harmonious and unified design experience.

Challenges Ahead

Despite its many perks, FSE comes with its own set of challenges that developers and users need to navigate.

Learning Curve: Traditional developers have to acquaint themselves with the nuances and intricacies of FSE and block theme development.

Compatibility: Ensuring that existing themes and plugins are compatible with FSE will be a substantial task.

Performance: Managing the performance and ensuring that the site doesn’t get bogged down with numerous blocks and dynamic elements will be crucial.

Customization Limitations: Although FSE is highly customizable, there might be limitations that could potentially restrict highly specific or complex design implementations.

Embracing FSE in Your WordPress Projects

Adopting FSE into your WordPress development projects may seem daunting initially, but the long-term advantages for both developers and end-users are palpable. Here are a few steps to help you get started:

Educate and Update: Keep yourself and your team updated with the latest developments in FSE through WordPress official channels, community forums, and tutorials.

Experiment: Create a staging or local environment to test FSE and experiment with block theme development.

Feedback: Engage with the WordPress community to share experiences, learn from peers, and perhaps even contribute to the ongoing development of FSE.

Prepare: Update your existing projects, plugins, and themes to ensure compatibility with FSE.

Conclusion

The rollout of Full Site Editing in WordPress marks a pivotal moment in web development, democratizing website design, and enabling a more extensive range of users to implement their visions online with ease and flexibility. While FSE introduces a novel methodology of developing and managing websites, it is also an invitation to innovate and explore new horizons in the digital landscape. By aligning with FSE, developers, designers, and businesses can stay ahead in the digital curve, ensuring that their platforms are robust, future-proof, and user-friendly.

Remember, the future is blocky, and it’s here to revolutionise the way we conceive, create, and interact with web content. So, let’s embrace it, explore it, and innovate within this dynamic new framework to carve out novel digital experiences for users across the globe.

[weblinkindianet]

𝐄-𝐦𝐚𝐢𝐥 𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐒𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐢𝐜𝐞𝐬 Drive high ROI and increased conversions with our optimized email marketing strategy.

👉 𝐀𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐬𝐮𝐛𝐣𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐨𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧 𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬 👉 𝐅𝐨𝐜𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐜𝐚𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐠𝐧𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐂𝐓𝐑𝐬 👉 𝐋𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐏𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐬 𝐎𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐳𝐞𝐝 𝐓𝐨 𝐆𝐮𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐞 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬

𝐌𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐃𝐞𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐬:- https://www.weblinkindia.net/digital-marketing/email-marketing-services.htm

[kinfomedia]

Kinfomedia is a leading digital solutions company delivering end-to-end services in website design, WordPress development, UI/UX, and graphic design. We specialize in building powerful web and mobile applications, as well as custom software using technologies like PHP, .NET, Java, Python, and JavaScript. Our team also develops tailored CRM, ERP, and e-commerce platforms to streamline business operations and enhance user experience. With expert digital marketing services—including SEO, SMM, PPC, email, and content marketing—we help brands grow their online presence, generate leads, and achieve measurable success.

[utopicwork]

Trying this again:

I'll do programming odd jobs for cheap. $10/hour. You'll be given an estimate of how long it'll take to complete upfront.

Languages I can program in without prep:

Python

Java

Javascript

CSS

HTML

Lua

C++

C#

Rust

Ruby

Processing

Languages I know just a bit of but could learn more easily

R

Matlab

C

PHP

I can pick up other languages for $100/language

I can also do light remote sysadmin, so like setting up a Mastodon instance, setting up an nginx server for web hosting, stuff like that

Email: me@agie.gay

Samples of my work below

[kimyoonmiauthor]

Why Spell Check (and some grammar check) isn't AI

So I've seen in the wake of Nanowrimo some people claim that spell check is AI and thus is like Gen AI, and I saw the claim originator on Twitter, but when I pressed them, they basically tried to say they had a degree in computer science, so when I pressed into them if they knew what they were talking about, they couldn't answer because obviously don't know about AI.

For some background I've done some light programming (If you look at the Korean name generator, that's all me). And I also have relatives that did programming.

Here, I can lay out how spell check works without AI or a fancy algorithm.

The oldest spellchecks didn't use AI or Gen AI, they used what is your basic corresponding tables.

If you use something like google sheets (database), you can do this pretty quickly yourself though with a lot of manpower.

Here is a list of commonly misspelled words.

Add that with another table with how they are commonly misspelled.

Then you need a table with "common typos"

Then you need one more table for "Words the user adds."

The algorithm is basically this: Set up a loop. A loop is a mechanism that has an algorithm (or set of instructions in it) which repeats until a certain instruction is met. This loop with this algorithm will check for words. In this case, anything with letters, usually encompassing ' and - (though some programs ignore dashes).

So[,][ ]it[ ]will[ ]look[ ]at[ ]letters[ ]in[ ]this[ ]sentence[ ]and[ ]figure[ ]out[ ]if[ ]it[ ]is[ ]spelled[ ]correctly.

The first loop in the previous sentence will look at the word "so" by selecting everything it knows to be a letter in English. Tada "S, o" Then correspond that to the dictionary. So shows up in the dictionary listing it has of English words. Thanks Webster. (If you're British, the OED)

The Algorithm concludes the word is spelled correctly. No more work needs to be done on So. The next word is it "i, t" correspond that to the dictionary and so on.

If you have a "bad word" for example "alot" then the work is, word is spelled incorrectly. Next "work to be done" is to find out if this word is in the "commonly misspelled" words list. If yes, then underline the word in red to get it corrected.

AKA run Algorithm to underline word (usually a few lines of code if you're doing it the old way).

Then the algorithm moves on. The function of right click/Cntrl click is saying, OK, this word, "alot" is it commonly misspelled? Here are a list of corrections according to this other table. This is the work that needs to be done: We need a popup table. We need to pull from the database this misspelling, and then we need to pull from this other database and pull corresponding correct spellings based on this. Then you set up an if-then If the user clicks on this word, change highlighted word.

This is your basic spelling algorithm. You do not need gen AI for this or AI.

Grammar works similarly. You need a table, the type of speech it is (n, v, adv, adj) and then to load in "rules" one should use. You do not need AI. You need some basic programming skills. On the table of somewhere between "Hello, world" (1) and "OMG, I created artificial intelligence like Data " (10) My "Korean name generator" is like 2.5? in difficulty (minus all of the language and cultural knowledge). Haha. Still mocking myself. But a Spellcheck is not far from that. it is like 3. You could build one fairly easily with PHP and database access to a dictionary and misspelled words with corrections.

But Google pulled from the Enron Emails.

In this case, you can sorta fuzzy logic it and create bigger algorithms, mostly to sort out the *grammar* and *New words* that were used that aren't already in the database, which basically is another loop, but with an add to database function. (i.e. table). Then you would correspond this with another loop to look at "odd grammar" and flag it.

You can use AI to sort it faster than a basic algorithm, but nope, you do not need AI to correspond it. A basic algorithm would do. You can also use AI for "words that look similar to this one" and "Words commonly used in place of this one"

But overall, You do not need AI for a grammar check. You only need a dictionary, a set of commonly held rules of English and exceptions (maybe some Noam Chomsky, though he's controversial), and then some programming skill to get past the hurdle.

But Grammar check could use AI

AI as it stands is basically a large algorithm to match large datasets to the words you use. But the problem is that the datasets are taken from users who did not volunteer to put in that information.

It is not Data on Enterprise have novel experiences of every day and learning how to function in the human world by processing it through a matrix of quantum computing.

So WHEN grammar check does use AI, the AI is mostly doing the crunching of the corresponding the information into a more neat table option, as I understand it. It is not the same thing as Gen AI or your average spell check and Microsoft algorithm from say 2000.

Those are not equal things. Instead, adding Gen AI to say, Microsoft Word, is more like stealing your words for the machine (which BTW, Microsoft absolutely did and you need to transfer out to Anti-AI programs/Apps.) and corresponding them for Gen AI future use for people who can't write worth a damn, and then "averaging" it out. Elew. Who wants to write to the average? That's anti-Creative.

And just because it uses an Algorithm, doesn't automatically use AI.

Look, I can write a algorithm now:

Loop: If you want to be strong...

Go outside.

Do cardio.

Go lift weights.

Make sure you eat a healthy diet and balanced which includes reducing refined sugars and do not eat bad fats.

That equally is a set of instructions, but that's not automatically AI.

I programmed my calculator to spit out the quadratic formula. And this isn't even officially programming, this is a script. Dudes, if you're going to call that AI, then you need help with learning computer programming.

The threshold for making AI v spellcheck is a lot, lot higher programming than a set of simple tables and a loop that looks for letters and spaces corresponding it to an existing dictionary. If that's you're threshold for AI, then when you type words, you are caught in an algorithm. Ooooooo... OMG, when you pull up a dictionary to spellcheck yourself, that's AI. C'mon. The threshold is a might higher to make AI or "victim of algorithm" as in Twitter.

So anytime someone says, "All Spellcheck uses genAI/AI" Laugh in their faces and say no. 'cause like, I'm a terrible programmer, and even I'm like, Meh, not that hard to set up spell check, give me a solid dictionary database and I'll do ya.

That said, A human will beat AI on grammar anytime and will be able to sort weird spellings faster and A-OK, or not.

[kratergate]

Hello hello! I'm part of the fundraising initiative by Transmasculine Philippines: PINOY QUEER ARTISTS 4 PALESTINE!

I'm doing fully rendered, half body commissions with simple backgrounds for 550 php! (around 10 USD)

As much as possible, ALL payments must be sent through GCash. (QR code down below!)

However, for international folks, you can send the money through Paypal. (Though, if you're able to use GCash, please just do so. We're trying to avoid Paypal fees/loss of funds!)

If you're interested, feel free to message me here on tumblr OR email me at krater.gate@gmail.com !

(I just put my email on the post bc it's being posted on diff platforms lmao)

Looking for something else? Don't worry, there are more artists! Just look through the thread linked above if you're looking for more options :D

Please don't hesitate to reach out if you have any questions :] Thank you and have a good day!

[kremlin]

I do computer work but it's not very hard and kind of boring. How do I get to do hard computer work? Do I have to go to grad school?

hi i tend to miss these because of slipshod ublock custom filters im too birdbrained to fix.

i worked for a large american technology company which sold business machines internationally for close to a decade until laid off in successful accounting fraud scheme a few years ago. started as developer, erm, pardon me, i started as

junior developer

which is a role similar to routinely-executed court jester and human meatwave conscript meant to soak up enemy bullets to cause exhaustion of enemy bullet supply and finally guy that comes in big gross truck with a pump and a tank and a big hose used to suck the shit+piss out of portable toilet/malfunctioning sewer etc. this is for when you are 20 years old or so and they hit you with this work to calm your ass down a bit. my case was cloud bullshit on ancient rickety php stack. 5% keystrokes/clicks are php, 95% remainder is jira and other members of the axis of evil. LOT of dick sucking and butt fucking. Going into men's bathroom and making eye contact with cubicle neighbor before entering stall and fearlessly making disgusting noises. microwaving fish lunch thrice daily. you get the idea. meager paycheck but six figures takehome technically

next is staff dev, wait, god damn fucking tumblr, you can't adjust fonts mid-paragraph, and Big Text is just another type of font, in case you wanted Big Specific font. fucking fuck hold on. next step is

staff developer

no effective change besides greatly increased workload (click those motherfucking jira buttons!! suffer coworker's asinine bad-faith code review comments that HE AND HE ALONE must manually accept your responses to, on HIS time, before you are allowed to click the jira buttons that start the human meat sausage factory to get your 20 line maximum change into an RC and then release and then push candidate and then prod push!! pay raise one thousand dollars annually (lol). Emails. Now you deal with project manager too. speculate as to what sorts of grievous head injuries that man must suffer daily to describe his logic. his job is like the guy from office space that brings documents from one desk to another but he randomly reorders the words on the page in-flight. make plausibly-deniable wife fucking jokes about his wife in earshot. you're almost at the top of the suffering function. next is, no fucking cute font this time, senior developer, sounds cool right, lol, lmao, "senior" "developer" is like "tallest" "midgit".

no pay increase no workload increase but now manager emails you about extremely, extremely personal issues he's facing and also makes his most difficult problems from his boss your problems. one week will pass and then they will hit you with the "we're considering you for a team lead position". answer:

NO

answer no as this is the prescribed path, you take that role, you are maxxed out in workload, you are dealing with forty employee's worth of bullshit, another one thousand dollarinos a year raise, employer has solved efficiency problem with your sanity and burnout as variables. you're supposed to quit or kill yourself within seconds of hitting 30 y/o. don't fall for tricks. say "NO" in a creative way such as "i have tabulated some data and made it into excel pie chart quantifying diff. departments work output and am considering sending it to whoever Dave is, the guy that is one or two or three report levels over your boss' head, you know, his boss' boss' boss or whatever. or say "you are harassing me sexually, racistly" that kind of shit. make threat clearly.

was worth mentioning before, throughout all of this make as many friends and as much of a splash for yourself as possible as its time to trade on that goodwill, tell your boss you want an open relationship and you're going to fuck and suck other managers, and then find the good one with the good team of old fucking geriatric guys who could never be fooled into working more than a reasonable amount daily and also can kill people with their minds since they have been sitting on the bleeding edge of computing since 1969. their boss will usually be, suspiciously, one report rank higher than everyone else. e.g. their boss has a whole other boss + his reports under him. usually small team. go to their boss, say, hi, look at me, look at my beautiful plumage and captivating mating dance, please hire me, pleassseee. his team will say no, they will say things like "I don't know about that kiddo", "That guy seems like a candy-ass", they will read your papers and look at you in the eyes and say it is not compelling, the boss will kind of hire you anyway. if he doesn't you're fucked. if he does you're now a

STAFF ENGINEER

for fifteen minutes and then

ADVISORY/SENIOR/SPECIAL ENGINEER

and the suffering is over. no code minimal jira + squad of gremlin zerglings under your boss whom you can rank-pull and delegate bullshit to, they will be mostly suckers, take advantage of this. 80% of keystrokes/clicks will be in production of beautiful wonderful lovely .docx and .xlsx's, what a godsend, only in an emergency are you allowed to fuck with your zergling's code, usually in a cool way with bullshit procedure removed.

i worked on high performance computing shit. "what the fuck do you mean 2PB or so in and out a day on flash memory", "what the fuck do you mean special infiniband intel MPI library on CD-R stored in Craig's filing cabinet???". Meetings with company people: webcams off, responses optional, snideness allowed. Meetings with client: you must have your dress shirt starched and white glove the shit out of those motherfuckers. timezones = skill issue. i don't care where germany is, i don't give a shit, wake up at 3am for a 20m meeting i take on the toilet or while eating a boiled lobster complete with cracker + lobster bib. customers countable on one hand, invoices to customers not countable with 32 bits. no fucking mistakes ever allowed except for like whitepaper drafts, you cannot fuck the pumpkin on this one, your actual job relies on your ability to hit a button and suck down a week's worth of compute and millions of dollars, boiling swimming pool's worth of TDP, one mistake that leads result data to being able to be characterized as flawed and your balls are getting ripped off. Quarterly IRL meetings = normiepilled normiemaxxing. Dress sharp. leave at 5pm on the dot, go to bar with Old Fucker coworkers, drink wrecklessly with them, have a blast, let them give you a tour of a lab you are absolutely 100% not allowed to be inside, buildings that have posted weight limits per sq. ft. exceeding 250lbs, such a blast. every paycheck a FORTUNE every dinner a banquet every meeting an email every keystroke life or death. you get to meet /lib/doug mofos too one of whom i wrote a very poor kind of poem thing about. thats about it. hope this helps

[winnielewoo]

writing comms open!!

reposting anotha time because finals are over and i'm on break for a month or so!!! i'm promoting it again because these are really fun to do and i need the money for da #billz

i write content that is self-insert/yume/ocxcanon centric! i know what it feels like to be Very Normal and Chalant over a character, and i'd love to help fuel it >_<

these include personalized penpal style letters or emails addressed to you/your oc from your comfort character, and drabbles/short fics of your oc/yourself with your cc. i can also write ships -- within reason, of course!

here's my ao3 for examples of my narrative writing. if you want to see examples of my penpal letters/emails, feel free to dm me!

what i offer + price list!

penpal style letter (upto 500 words) -- $5 / 150PHP per letter

email (upto 500 words) -- $5 / 150PHP per letter

drabble (1,000 to 1,500 words) -- $10 / 300 PHP per drabble

add on words (extra 300-500 words) -- $2 / 50PHP every extra 300-500 words

tos + mop!

i mostly write sfw, but i can write suggestive material only if you are 18+.

i am more than able to write as any character from almost any media (within reason) but i have the right to decline if i do not feel comfortable or capable writing for the character or the media as a whole.

i do not write for real people/celebrities, unless -- obviously -- you are referring to a character they have played.

most commissions will take up to 1 week! however, if they are lengthy in terms of your request, or require a lot of research, it might take slightly more. worry not, i will inform you about any delays :D

i take payments only in paypal or gcash (for filipino peeps).

if you're interested (YAYY), here's basically what to expect!

determine which of my offers you'd like (email, penpal letter, drabble). dm me on which type you'd like!

i will send you a respective google form which will ask you for the specifics of your request!

you will receive a confirmation message from me as soon as possible.

once confirmed, there will be a wait time of upto 1-2 weeks.

IF YOU HAVE REQUESTED A DRABBLE, i will send you a draft in which you are allowed to make small revisions. after the revision period, i will request payment before sending the final version.

IF YOU HAVE REQUESTED AN EMAIL/LETTER, i will request for payment once it is ready. you're allowed to ask to see the draft/can request changes, but i ask for it upfront so as to not ruin the "illusion" that they have written it for you :P

letters/drabbles will be sent as a google drive link in your dms. emails will be sent on your email.

enjoy your commission!

if you have any questions/would like to see more writing samples, please don't hesitate to dm or send me asks!

see also: some of the fandoms i am in and/or will feel accustomed to writing (not all are included here or are elaborated upon, so feel free to ask!)

mystic messenger, stardew valley, blooming panic, amnesia:memories, bustafellows, ozmafia, picka (dating sims in general tbf), musical theatre (a long long list in of itself), mouthwashing, tlou, fallout, spiritfarer, baldurs gate 3, genshin impact, detroit:become human, invincible, life is strange, to the moon / the sigcorp series, arcane, overwatch, vocaloid, dead poets society, pride & prejudice, little women, everything everywhere all at once, some books (tsoa, the hunger games, the secret history, daisy jones and the six, etc. etc.), anime/manga (my favorites are NANA, jjk, yona of the dawn, chainsaw man, shimanami tasogare, etc.), studio ghibli, satoshi kon films, adventure time, kdramas, heartstopper/solitaire, hades, moominvalley, winnie the pooh... +++

i'm looking forward to writing for you! <3

[ohshtwtf]

ART COMPANION/ART SLAVE

im opening up 3 slots where you can ask for art in a span of 3 weeks for only 60$ (PHP 3k) in this style (approx 5 artworks in total or more)

**WILL DO:**

`NSFW`

`gore`

`anything wholesome`

`fanart`

`OCs`

`minimal armor`

`bejeweled characters`

WONT DO:

`full mecha`

TOS

by agreeing to this terms means i can use the art as samples with watermark on my portfolio and i will be prioritising your requests over other commissions this month

COMMUNICATION

updates are weekly or in 2 day in between and through DMs

DEADLINES AND DELIVERY

2-3 days in rush drawings and 5 days usual TAT delivery is through email or DMs

PAYMENT

50% Down payment is needed so i can start drawing (GCASH or Paypal)

[snarp]

your website 'snarp dot work' is throwing php errors at me

Yeah, I'm currently only using the domain for email. The site's been on the to-fix list for like 5 years.