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andvys · 1 month ago

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The edges of your soul (I haven't seen yet) ⭐︎ chapter fourteen

⭐︎ The devil in your eyes, won't deny the lies you've sold

Warnings: angst, hurt/(no) comfort, jealousy jealousy jealousy, jealous!Steve, mentions of death, mentions of killing, alcohol consumption. some slight Aaron x sunshine (but not really?)

Pairing: Steve Harrington x fem!reader

Summary: As you, Nancy and Eddie get settled into the community, looking forward for a break from the trip across the country -- Steve can't wait for the week to be over...

Word count: 14k

Author's note: First things first, @hellfire--cult wrote half of this chapter, which is A LOT. she wrote the entire dinner scene aka THE BESTEST PART OF THIS CHAPTER ! so please please please give her the credit she deserves, and the LOVE. Second, I hope you guys are ready for the community chapters cause I am hehehe

series masterlist ⭐︎ previous chapter

☀︎

The night passed quickly, and not once did you leave Eddie’s side, nor did Nancy or Steve. Aaron offered to take you to the cabin you’d all be sharing, but you all refused to split up, at least until after you are one hundred percent sure that this community is safe – you didn’t tell him that, but it’s what you all felt. Even with the group of Hawkins having been here before, you still wanted to wait.

Aaron showed that he could be trusted; the other doctors and nurses did too, but you could never be too sure in a world like this.

You fell asleep on the chair next to Eddie’s bed, the blanket you were given last night, still wrapped around your shoulders. Nancy is on his other side, curled up into the uncomfortable chair with her jacket wrapped around her.

And Steve, he is in the corner of the room, sitting by the window. He didn’t sleep a wink last night, even with you in the room, he couldn’t find rest. The guilt and the sadness lie heavy on his shoulders. His eyes constantly move back to you, tracing your features, watching you sleep, wishing he could hold you the way he normally could.

It’s over now.

Your head is leaning against the side of Eddie’s bed, cheek pressed against the mattress. Your skin looks soft beneath the rays of the rising sun seeping through the blinds. You look so pure, innocent, so soft. He wants to protect you. He wants to hold you, to never let go. He wants a world in which he could give you everything you desire, everything he desires.

His heart aches. It aches so strongly.

The door opens slowly, and Steve straightens his back, hoping to see the older doctor whose name he hasn’t learned yet, but it’s Aaron. He gives him a nod as he steps inside, carrying a tray with cups, sugar sticks and a pot.

“Got you some coffee.” Aaron murmurs softly, carrying it over to the small table beside Steve.

“Thanks.” Steve nods, trying to smile but it comes out as a grimace. There is something about the man that he doesn’t like.

“You’re welcome, buddy.”

Steve’s lips curl into a frown. A sour taste settles on his tongue. Buddy?

His face hardens a little as he watches Aaron walk over to Eddie’s side. He puts his hand on the monitor, checking on Eddie’s vitals.

Steve gets up from the chair. His back hurts a little from sitting on the hard chair all night. He stretches a little before he leans down and grabs the pot and he pours some coffee into the mug.

He glances outside as he lifts the mug to his lips. At first glance, it looks like a normal town, untouched by the outer world, if it wasn’t for the big walls, fences, and the guards on the towers. But there are people, a couple on the sidewalk walking hand in hand. A group of children walking down the street with backpacks on. Steve furrows his eyebrows, wondering if there is a school here.

“Good Mornin’.” Aaron speaks, his accent a heavy southern.

Steve turns around, seeing you awake now. You are sitting up slowly, moving away from Eddie’s bed.

“Morning.” You say softly.

Steve’s heart flutters at the sound of your tired voice, at the look of your sleepy face. He watches the way you look around the room until your eyes lock with his.

You always look for him first.

He doesn’t look away, and you don’t either. For a moment, you just stare at each other. Both your eyes and his are filled with an ache that won’t fade away today or tomorrow or anytime soon.

His eyes show words that he can’t ever speak out loud. And you try to read them, but you have misread before, so there really is no point.

“How’re you feeling’?” Aaron asks, glancing at you.

You tear your eyes away from Steve, looking at the older male on the other side of the bed. He offers you a kind smile, his eyes moving up and down your form.

“Good.” You nod. You lie. You’re not good, you’re far from it. It’s been a week since your night at the mansion, a week since you had the most fun, since you gathered all your newfound courage to make a move on him, only to be let down. It’s been a week of torture, having to be around him after your attempted kiss, after his rejection. And now Eddie is hurt; he will be okay, but he is still hurt, and despite what he said, you still feel like it’s partly your fault.

Aaron nods, though looking not convinced.

You look down, tugging the blanket tighter as goosebumps rise on your skin. You close your eyes for a moment, taking a few deep breaths. You listen to the commotion outside the room, the footsteps, and the voices of people. You hear some kind of construction noises somewhere in the town. And then you hear footsteps, footsteps moving closer to you.

You open your eyes again when the smell of coffee hits your senses.

“Here.” Steve whispers, offering a cup to you.

You slowly lift your head, looking at his hand, at the steam rising from the cup. You look up, your eyes locking on his tired features. A sense of dread fills your chest when you notice the lack of sleep on his face, the dark circles under his eyes, the exhaustion running deep. He didn’t go a night without sleep, no, it’s been days.

His hazel eyes stare into your own, making your stomach flip, but your heart aches. You can’t read him, not anymore.

“Thank you.” You whisper as you lift your hands up and reach for the cup. You wrap your fingers around it, trying not to touch his skin.

You are the first to look away, to break eye contact. While you look down at the black coffee, he still looks at you, and it doesn’t go unnoticed by the man standing by Eddie’s side or by the metalhead now awake.

You take a sip, welcoming the bitter yet sweet taste. He still prepared it the way you like it, and you can’t stop your heart from soaring, not even after everything that happened in the shed or after what happened yesterday.

“Morning.”

The sound of Eddie’s voice makes your eyes widen. You turn to face him, swallowing the sip of coffee you just took. You place the mug down on the table beside you before you reach for his hand.

“Eddie!” You whisper, a soft smile tugging at your lips now. “How are you feeling!”

Aaron chuckles at the way your eyes light up and the high pitched tone in your voice. Steve’s frown deepens as he looks at the man watching you. He huffs, clenching his jaw. He steps away to pour Eddie a coffee as well.

Eddie chuckles, a grin appearing on his face. “Peachy. I’m feeling much better now. I don’t remember the last time I slept that well.”

“Well, you can catch up on enough sleep here.” Aaron says as he walks around the bed, making his way to the side where you are sitting. “We might release you from the infirmary today if you are feeling fine, but we gotta run a few more tests first before that and keep you on watch after, but your friend already volunteered to take over that part.” He nudges his chin towards Nancy, who is still dozing away on the chair.

“Of course, she loves me.” Eddie grins.

You chuckle, shaking your head at him.

“I’ll show you the cabin you’ll be staying at. Either once he gets released or if you’re up for it sooner.” Aaron says, looking at you specifically.

You nod.

If he or any of the other townspeople had ill intentions for you, you would have known by now. You’re safe here, you can feel it. And while it turned out that you might not be the best at reading people, you can tell that his eyes are filled with kindness and generosity.

“I’ll go.”

Steve furrows his eyebrows. His shoulders tense up, a sense of panic rising in him. If you are going, he is too. There is no way he is letting you walk away by yourself, let alone with a stranger he doesn’t know he can trust or not.

You push the blanket off your shoulders and push yourself up from the chair, but the moment your feet are planted strongly on the ground and you are standing up, a wave of dizziness hits you and your vision gets blurry, blackening. You lose your balance and your knees buckle.

But you never hit the ground, a pair of arms wrap around your waist, holding you up with ease, saving you from the crash to the ground.

“Whoa easy, Darlin’.” Aaron mumbles as he helps you back on the chair, sitting you down again, he keeps one hand on your waist as he crouches before you.

Eddie stares at you, wide-eyed and worriedly. His hand shifts towards you, reaching for your arm.

And Steve… He is frozen in place, watching from afar, feeling helpless and useless, watching the way another man tends to you while he can’t do anything but watch.

Your eyebrows are furrowed, and you slowly lift your hand to your face, pressing your fingertips to your temple. The dizziness slowly fades again now that you are back on the chair.

“Can we get a doctor in here?” Steve frowns, eyes stuck on the hand on your waist.

Aaron turns around, glancing at him briefly. “I’m here, aren’t I?” He mumbles, slightly amused by the glaring hazel eyes.

Eddie looks between both men, eyes staying on Steve for a moment longer. He notices the way he draws back, clenching his jaw further.

Aaron looks at the untouched food on the table, the juice that you barely finished the night before.

“I told you to finish that, didn’t I?” The man says with a serious look on his face, pointing at the chocolate bar and the peanut butter and jelly sandwich he brought you after another one of his checkups on Eddie.

“I wasn’t hungry.” You frown, shaking your head as you slowly come back to your senses. You look at the man before you, meeting his eyes.

“You lost a lot of blood,” he points out as he removes his hand from your waist once he is sure that you won’t fall over. “When’s the last time you’ve eaten a proper meal?”

Proper Meal? None of you has eaten a proper meal since you left Hawkins. All you’ve had were canned foods, stale chips, and chocolate if you got lucky.

“It’s been a long few months, Doc.” Eddie answers for you, eyes glimmering with hope for a proper warm meal. “We’ve had some good food while we were in Hawkins – steak, vegetables, potatoes, eggs, dairy.” Eddie starts counting, but quickly comes to regret it when he feels just how empty his stomach is. “This one though? She survived on canned food for a year before she met us.” Eddie points at you, knowing how to get himself a warm dinner.

Aaron raises his eyebrows, slowly looking back at you. His eyes scan your face, staying on the forming scar on your cheekbone before they move down to your shoulder. Your tank top is showing more skin than you’d like, showing off the deep and long scar on your shoulder that disappears down your back.

“Well, we can’t have that.” Aaron mumbles, eyes still stuck on you. “How about you guys come over to my place tonight after I show you around?”

Silence fills the room.

Nancy is still sleeping on the chair, unaware of everything going on in here. Steve is glaring at the man standing before you, already feeling his dislike for him burning. Eddie is looking at you with desperate eyes, both because he wants dinner and also because of what he told you last night.

Your eyes widen and your cheeks heat up when you realize that he is waiting for your answer, barely looking at your friends.

You know that Eddie would never forgive you for turning down such an offer, but Steve is glaring from the corner of the room, disliking the idea of it even.

You lick your lips, eyeing the man before you. He offers you a kind smile, his blue eyes flickering with amusement when you look down shyly, unable to hold eye contact for long.

“That sounds nice,” you nod, smiling softly as you look up at him again. “I’d like that.”

Aaron smiles at you, he reaches his hand out and grabs the blanket that fell off your shoulder. He wraps it back around you and gives your shoulder a soft squeeze, “don’t want ya to freeze.” His action was answering your question from the night before. He was the one who wrapped the blanket around you when you passed out last night. “Gotta find some warmer clothes for you.”

Your skin heats up, and you grow flustered beneath all the eyes on you.

You don’t have to look at Eddie to know that he is smirking, eyes flickering back and forth between you and Aaron.

You don’t have to look at Steve to know that he is glaring, already showing his dislike for Aaron – for no reason at all.

“You want a tour around town before I show you to the cabin?” Aaron asks, looking into your eyes.

You nod, growing shy beneath his stare.

“Alright,” he murmurs, moving closer to you. He reaches over your shoulder and grabs the chocolate bar. He presses it into your hand. His lips curled into a smile, “I’ll take you out once you finish that.”

Your cheeks heat up further. You swallow nervously, breaking eye contact as you look down.

“Okay.” You whisper, unwrapping the candy from the plastic.

Steve crosses his arms over his chest as he watches you. You lean back in your chair, blushing when your eyes lock with the man before you. Having to hold back his scoff, he swallows harshly as he looks at Aaron.

“You promised to take us to the radio station.” Steve speaks up, not even bothering to hide the bitterness in his voice.

Eddie raises his eyebrows, glancing at the glaring man. He has to hold back the smirk from widening. Nothing worth being jealous of has happened yet, but he is already sour.

Aaron rises back to full height, turning around to face him, he raises one eyebrow at him, “I will, don’t worry. I can take you right now, or you’ll wait for your friend to wake up, and then I’ll take you to the radio station.”

Steve glances at Nancy, who is still sleeping soundly beside Eddie. A sigh falls from his lips. He tears his eyes away from her again, “no it’s fine later, I guess.”

“I’ll show you two around while these two get some more rest,” Aaron nods, gesturing to Eddie and Nancy. “I’ll take you to Thomas, he’s our leader. I already explained the situation to him, you won’t have to do any work around here but–”

“We’re not staying.” Steve says, jaw clenched and eyes hardened.

“I know that.” Aaron nods, glancing at you and Eddie before his blue eyes lock with his again. “But Eddie needs rest, he may be released today, but he is still dealing with a leg injury, not to mention the concussion – light or not, it’s still a concussion that can lead to something more serious if he doesn’t get the rest that he needs.”

Steve glances at Eddie, who is staring at him with raised eyebrows. Guilt rises up in him, knowing that worse damage could be done if he were to demand to leave the community now.

“Listen I know you have no intention of staying here, I know you want to get to California but for the sake of your friend’s health, for the sake of your health because buddy, no offence but you look like you could use some rest as well,” Aaron looks him up and down, making Steve’s frown deepen. “You stay here for a week. Y’all get the rest that you need. You’re our guests just like your friends, your family were guests here. If you wanna work and help around, fine, me or Thomas will find you something, but you don’t have to. You’ll be on your way sooner than you think.”

Steve’s shoulders slump, his expression softening a little at the begging in your eyes. He knows there is no discussion over this. Eddie needs the rest, you all do, just like Aaron said.

“Alright.” He nods, though his jaw is still clenched.

Aaron looks at him, noticing the distrust in him – which isn’t a surprise in a world like this, it isn’t ever.

“Alright.” Aaron nods too before he looks away from him and back at you.

You finish the last bite of your chocolate bar and crumble up the wrapper, throwing it into the trash before you get up, slower this time. You notice the way Aaron steps towards you, holding his hand out just in case you get dizzy again.

“You alright?” He asks softly, eyeing you up and down.

You hum, nodding.

“Yeah, thank you.” You whisper, giving him a small smile.

Steve sucks in a sharp breath, clenching his jaw as his eyes never stray from you. He picks up your jacket, still looking between you and the man who finally steps away from you after making sure that you won’t fall again.

“We can go now.” You nod at Aaron, ready to leave this hospital room, to breathe in some fresh air, to be away from him–

“I’m going too.”

Eddie’s head snaps towards him. An amused expression now on his face as his eyes flicker and glow with excitement. He isn’t one to enjoy someone else’s misery, but Steve deserves it a little, he thinks.

And if this isn’t irritation flashing in his hazel eyes… It’s only a matter of time until it turns into raging jealousy.

“Sure.” Aaron nods.

But you look down, not impressed. You wanted some time away from him, but he, of course, won’t give you that, just like he didn’t before today.

Steve walks over to you, brushing past Aaron. He hands you your jacket, ignoring the looks of the other two men giving him.

“Thanks.” You mumble, avoiding his eyes as you reach for your jacket. You put the blanket down and put your jacket on.

The cold tone in your voice doesn’t go unheard by anyone. The dismissive look on your face doesn’t either. It doesn’t go unfelt by Steve. His heart clenches in his chest.

“I’ll send someone in to run a few more tests, you’ll get some breakfast too.”

Eddie nods at Aaron, grinning at him, “pancakes or waffles?” He jokes, causing the man to chuckle.

“Whatever you want, we've got a little diner across the road. Jody makes the best breakfast food.”

“Is that your wife?”

Eddie scrunches his face up at Steve’s question, he almost snorts.

You raise your eyebrows, looking at him confused.

Aaron though, he chuckles. He shakes his head as his blue eyes flicker with amusement. “No, he is not my wife.”

Eddie’s eyes widen, and he cracks up, watching Steve’s face flush in embarrassment.

Steve coughs, nodding as he looks away.

You sink your teeth into your bottom lip, holding back from smiling. You can’t help but feel amused by Steve’s embarrassment and by Eddie’s reaction.

“Alright, like I said, I’ll send someone in.” Aaron says to Eddie before he turns to face you. “You ready to go, Darlin’?”

“Mhmm.”

“C’mon then.” He nudges his chin towards the door, patting Steve’s shoulder, who clenches his jaw stronger.

You stand back for a moment, glancing down at Eddie, who is already smirking at you, wiggling his eyebrows when the two men aren’t looking.

“Have fun, Darlin’.” He whispers, mocking.

“Shut up.” You murmur, rolling your eyes at his teasing. You wave him off as you start making your way towards the door, ignoring his laughter. “See you later.”

“Bye, Sweets!” He grins, watching the way Aaron places his hand on your back as he leads you out. Steve looks down at his hand, frown growing deeper.

Eddie’s grin widens, and he chuckles, earning a glare from the brunette before he walks out of the room and slams the door.

A chuckle falls from his lips, and he sinks back into his pillow, “idiot.”

Nancy stirs on the chair. She opens her eyes, squinting them as the sun hits her face. A yawn falls from her lips, and she stretches her arms out.

“Well, good morning.” Eddie mumbles. “You missed the whole damn show.”

Nancy furrows her eyebrows, her blue eyes flashing with curiosity.

“What show?” She looks around, only now noticing that it’s just the two of them in the room.

“The hot Cowboy having a little moment with our sweet Sunshine and Steve losing his shit over it.” He giggles a little too evilly.

Nancy sighs, shaking her head at him.

“This is gonna be so good, Wheeler.”

After Aaron took you to meet Thomas, the leader of the community, you noticed how the tension in Steve’s shoulders eased a little. The older man seemed more trustworthy to him than Aaron. And after mentioning Jim Hopper and Joyce, the frown on Steve’s face disappeared at least until you left Thomas’s office again.

You walked between both men, nodding along to the things Aaron was telling you, but Steve didn’t listen, only watching your reactions. He saw the way your eyes lit up when Aaron showed you a little bakery.

He explained how this town was protected right from the start. How the walls were built around it, the moment it all began. It wasn’t left unscathed completely, accidents happened, monsters came through at first, people lost their lives but they learned from their mistakes and did everything to protect this place from both monsters and people with ill intentions – which turns out to be a bigger threat most of the time.

The town is filled with people. Older people, couples with children, teenagers who have lost their parents. It not only has a hospital but also a police station, a school, a church, stores, and a bar.

There is a barn and a henhouse close to their greenhouse. You can tell that the people living here are getting warm meals on their tables every day.

The cabin you are given is more than you could ask for. It’s not big, but it has a porch and pine trees surrounding it. The sound of a stream nearby gives you a sense of nostalgia, it reminds you of home. Aaron shows you around, while Steve follows both of you, not taking his eyes off you.

The kitchen has a basket filled with necessities for your stay here. The living room has a fireplace and even a TV, a few movies tapes on the tiny shelf by the window. It only has one floor, but enough bedrooms for you all to have your privacy.

“It ain’t big, but you’re all getting your own rooms, your own beds.”

“It’s perfect.” You smile, turning to face him to find him staring at you already as he stands with his back against the wall, arms crossed over his chest, and a smile gracing his face. “Thank you, Aaron.”

He tilts his chin down, giving you a nod. “No need to thank me, Darlin’.”

Steve rolls his eyes, not liking the nickname you were given by the man.

“There’s some stuff in the fridge: milk, butter, eggs. You can make some food if you’d like – electricity is working, by the way.” Aaron explains as he pushes himself off the wall, looking between you and Steve. “I’ll leave you be for now, there are some clothes in the closet, you both can freshen up. I’ll come back later to take you to the radio station.”

Steve turns around, nodding. “You’re leaving?” He asks, voice thick with relief.

It doesn’t go unnoticed by Aaron. His eyes flicker with amusement, and he looks between you both, noticing your reaction as well and the way you huff and step away from the brunette.

“Yeah.” Aaron nods, eyes still on you. “But don’t worry, I’ll be back soon, Buddy.”

“Mhmm.” Steve nods with a clenched jaw.

After saying goodbye to you, Aaron walks out of the cabin. Your shoulders tense up once you are left alone with him. The silence is heavy between you. You want to move, to walk away, to make your way into one of the rooms and grab some fresh clothes, but for some reason, you find yourself frozen in place.

Steve takes a deep breath, looking away from the front door, and he looks down at you. Finally left alone with you. He didn’t get the chance for a moment like this since the day in the shed.

He knows this could be the chance to come clean, to tell you about his feelings, to tell you what is holding him back.

But he can’t, he can’t because it will fill you with hope again, hope for something he won’t give you.

“Sunshine.” He still speaks up, without knowing what to say to you.

You look up at him, eyes soft and vulnerable.

You wait for him, you wait like you always do, but he gives you nothing. He just stares at you, his hazel eyes filled with emotions you can no longer read.

“I’m gonna take a shower.” You mumble, sighing as you step away from him, and he lets you. He lets you because you know that he has nothing to say to you, nothing that could mend your pain.

You walk away, and all that he can do is watch, when things could be so easy.

You feel his eyes on you even as you walk into one of the bedrooms. You try, you really try to ignore it, to ignore him, but it’s difficult when you feel the tension in the air, when you feel the way he looks at you, knowing that he wants to go back to how things were before you ruined the friendship that once was.

He wants that while you want something more. And after humiliating yourself the way you did, after he threw hurtful words at you, you can never go back to what you two have been. It was nice while it lasted, but you wish it lasted longer, and you wish it didn’t end the way it did.

Once locked inside the bathroom, you press your back against the door and close your eyes, clutching the clothes you picked out to your chest. You breathe in and out, in and out, and suddenly it gets caught in your throat, growing into a painful lump that makes your eyes burn. Your bottom lip starts trembling, your chest starts aching as the events from the days before… the weeks before start catching up to you. A tear slips down your cheek, and then another, and then they start falling freely.

You cry silently, in secret. You don’t want Steve to hear your sobs. You don’t want him to hear your weakness.

Looking into the mirror feels like looking at a stranger. You no longer recognize the person staring back at you. You changed, not only physically but on the inside… And you aren’t sure if you like the girl in the mirror.

You see the amount of scars now covering your skin, the one on your shoulder being the oldest, the one on your cheek being the newest. Both given by people, not creatures, by monsters.

You feel like you are staring at one in the mirror.

You look down at your shoes, blood stains on them still. You kick them off and start working on your belt, undoing it quickly. You freeze when you eye the lilac hair tie around your wrist. Robin’s hair tie.

You remember how he told you that you remind him of her. You also remember how he mentioned the short lasting crush he once had on Robin before she came out to him, and he had to accept that nothing would come out of it.

He loved Nancy. He liked Robin.

You are nothing like Nancy, but apparently you are everything like her. And even then, he didn’t like you, just like your own ex-boyfriend never liked you, as you had realized by the end of your relationship.

What is it about you that is so unlovable?

What is it about you that isn’t enough?

You look back into the mirror, looking at the tears rolling down your face. You see, the hollowness is in your own eyes, the darkness that slowly began to take you, to envelope you. You are beginning to see the world reflect on you.

Is that why he doesn’t like you?

Is it the darkness he saw in you on that day?

Or is it your immaturity after all?

All these questions and yet no answers. You feel no anger, just sadness and rejection, making you feel sick still. You try to push away those thoughts. You wipe your tears and take your clothes off before stepping into the shower, letting the warm water envelope you.

A mixture of dirt and blood pools at your feet as the water runs down your body, going down the drain. You press your hand against the cool tile. You close your eyes and stand there for a moment, unmoving.

And suddenly it all crashes over you. Your shoulders start shaking, and you start crying harder, unable to hold back any longer.

And Steve… He is still in the hallway, eyes burning with tears at the sound of your soft cries, unable to pull you into his arms, unable to comfort you, unable to hold you.

All he can do is stand there and listen.

Hurting both you and himself.

The radio station is located on the edge of the town, right next to one of the watch towers and inside the police station. The office room is filled with equipment, a transmitter, microphones, antennas, and a couple of walkie talkies lying around. There are posters on the wall, guides to morse codes, and others.

You look around the crowded room, noticing the shelf in the corner with music tapes. You walk over to it, checking out the albums. You’re unaware of the worried looks Nancy is giving you, having noticed the redness in your eyes, the evidence of your crying.

Steve is eying you too, his arms are crossed over his chest, his eyes are guilty, but his face is hard because he isn’t the only one looking.

“How long will it take?” Eddie asks, sitting in the wheelchair that he fought Nancy on. He wanted the crutches, but both the Doctor and Nancy were set on him not walking for at least another day. The discussion went on for a while until he finally plopped down on the wheelchair.

“Just a second,” Greg, the main operator at the radio station, mumbles as he presses the buttons. “Dustin, do you copy?” He talks into the speaker.

“Why Dustin?” Eddie asks, tilting his head.

“Cause it’s only ever him messing around at the radio station.” Greg laughs.

“I’m surprised you don’t–”

“This is Dustin speaking, I thought I told you to use code names, Gregory. Over.” The sassy teenager’s voice cuts through the room.

“Holy shit!” Eddie grins, nearly jumping from the wheelchair in excitement. He looks around the room, eyes locking with Steve’s for a moment. The brunette’s eyes soften, a small smile appearing on his face.

Nancy looks away from you, stepping towards Eddie, and she puts her hand on his shoulder.

“There you go, man.” Greg chuckles, gesturing for him to take over. Eddie instantly moves closer. He clears his throat, unable to hold back his grin as he presses his finger on the red button.

“Henderson. This is Eddie the banished speaking. I’m here with Harrington and Wheeler.”

You turn around, facing the little group now huddling together. Nancy is standing behind Eddie while Steve is moving to his other side. All of them now smiling, looking relieved and… happy.

“Holy shit… Oh! Holy shit!” Dustin shrieks, causing the three of them to pull back slightly at the volume.

Aaron, who is standing in the doorway, chuckles in amusement.

“Is that really you!? Eddie– Steve, Nancy!?” The teen shrieks once again. The excitement is heavy and clear in his voice, it makes you smile as well.

“Yeah, we’re here.” Nancy chuckles into the speaker.

“Oh my god, I gotta get Mike– hold on! You guys are with Aaron!?”

Your eyes lock with the man mentioned, and he smiles at you, while Steve tenses up.

“Yeah, we’re here with him.”

You are surprised to hear Steve talking this time.

“Oh man, Steve. He’s got some great hair, you've got some competition now.” The teen cackles, infecting Eddie with it because the metalhead starts laughing.

“He sure does.”

But Steve isn’t amused in the slightest. He only shakes his head in response because he knows Eddie meant something else.

“Hold on, Mike’s here.”

Nancy straightens her back, her smile now widening at the mention of her brother. You see the glassiness in her eyes when his voice sounds through the room, and you take that as your cue to leave, deciding to give the group some privacy.

You might be a friend to Eddie, Nancy and… Steve. But their friends, their family, don’t know you, and they might never will, and you don’t want to intrude.

You slip out of the room without being noticed. You brush past Aaron, who eyes you in curiosity.

You can hear their voices, their happy laughter, even as you walk down the hallway of the police station. And you feel happy for them, you really do, but it makes you miss your own family, more than ever now.

You open the door and step outside into the cold, breathing in the fresh air and almost sighing in relief at the silence. You walk over to the little bench by the tree and sit down. Hiding your hands in your pockets, you look up at the cloudy sky.

Your head hurts a little from all your crying, and you hate how visible it is on your face. You saw the way Nancy looked at you, the way her blue eyes scanned your face in worry.

You didn’t want her to worry, and you didn’t want her to ask and gladly she didn’t, but you know that conversation is still coming.

The door opens and closes. You tilt your chin down and look at your boots, hoping, praying for it to not be Steve. You don’t want to talk to him. You don’t want to look at him right now.

If only you knew that his eyes searched for your figure in the corner of the room after you left.

“You alright?”

You almost sigh in relief from hearing Aaron’s voice instead. You look up at him, growing a little shy beneath his stare and the way he scans your face.

Aaron is handsome, it’s hard not to see his attractiveness. You saw it the night before already, but his eyes are a much deeper blue in the daylight.

“Yeah. I’m fine, just didn’t want to intrude.” You mumble, pointing towards the building.

He nods in understanding, remembering that you are not from Hawkins, that you don’t know their friends.

“You’re gonna freeze out here.”

You shake your head, smiling at him, “it’s not that cold, I like the fresh air.”

“Alright then.” Aaron chuckles, his eyes never leaving your face. “Mind if I sit with you?”

You tilt your head to the side, raising your eyebrows at him, “if you won’t freeze out here.”

He licks his lips, chuckling once more. He takes a step forward and sits down beside you.

“Cowboys don’t freeze.” He jokes – you can tell by the way his lip curls.

“Cowboys also don’t forget to wear their hats.” You point out, turning to face him, you study his profile. There is a tattoo on the side of his neck, behind his ear. It went unnoticed by you before. His hair is slightly curly, a little longer than Steve’s. He has a beard, one that makes him look older than he probably is. If you had to guess, you’d say he is thirty.

His lips curl into a smile, a deep chuckling falling once more.

“My mistake. I left it at the infirmary.”

“Mhmm, I’m sure.” You smile and look away, eying the guard on the tower. You ignore the weight of his eyes on you, but your skin still heats up, and you don’t know why.

“You ever come across a town like this on your journey?”

You shake your head as you think back to all the abandoned camps you have come across when you were still on your own.

“No, only abandoned towns and military camps that were supposed to be a sanctuary for those seeking refuge.”

Aaron nods, his eyes taking in your every feature.

“Did you seek refuge?”

“Not really, and if so, then only for a night or two. All I wanted was to get back to my family.”

“You never joined any groups?”

You shake your head, staring at the snow on the ground.

“Did you run into many bad people out there?”

You freeze a little. Your shoulders tense up at his question. A shudder runs down your spine when you think of the group you encountered only a few weeks back. They were nothing compared to the ones you have dealt with when you were all by yourself.

Your reaction doesn’t go unnoticed by Aaron. He looks a little closer, watching the way the color drains from your eyes for a second.

You take a deep breath, trying to shake the unnerving feeling off. You turn to face him, giving him a small smile and a shrug, “what is this, an interrogation?” You joke.

He shakes his head, a breathy chuckle falls from his lips.

“No, Darlin’. I won’t interrogate you, which is something we normally do here with newcomers.”

You raise your eyebrows, “oh? Why didn’t you do that with us?”

“You’re friends of Hopper, I trust that man with my community.” He explains, shrugging.

“Not me. Hawkins ain’t my home, I never met any of them,” you point out, tilting your head to the side as you squint your eyes.

His blue eyes flicker with amusement, he chuckles softly.

“Are ya sayin’ I’ve made a mistake?”

You shrug, “too late to fix it now, I’m already in these walls.”

Aaron chuckles, his eyes run up and down your body.

“A real danger.”

You snort at his words, knowing they aren’t meant seriously. You roll your eyes at him, shaking your head.

“Better not to underestimate me, Aaron.” You whisper.

Aaron raises his eyebrows at you, he nods. His eyes flicker with a sudden seriousness.

“Oh no, I know.” He murmurs, looking into your eyes like he knows something. Like he knows what you did. Like he knows what you had to do to protect the people you love, to survive. But there isn’t judgment in his eyes, only an understanding like no other.

Silence fills the space between you, and you look away when his stare becomes too much. You are not used to people looking at you like that, to men staring.

“Were you here from the beginning?” You ask in curiosity.

“Yeah, I helped build the walls. Been leading this place with Thomas since day one basically.”

You are impressed by the way this place has been holding up, the way it’s been constant and improving over time in a world like this. You know how ugly it can get out there. How you can walk for days and not find shelter, food, weapons, let alone water, and that is if you’re lucky. If you aren’t, then you’ll run into trouble.

A part of you wants to change the subject. Another part of you knows it’s useless because someone who looks at you the way he does, can see right through you, probably through own experience. Looking into his eyes tells you that he has seen some horrible things as well, but you can’t help but feel curious, knowing he’s been here since the beginning.

“Have you ever been out there… really out there?”

Without knowing you all too well, he knows exactly what you are asking.

“Yeah.” Aaron nods. Sympathy flashes in his eyes. He knows what kinda monsters really roam the streets.

There is no judgment in his eyes, nothing of that sort. There is a mutual feeling that makes you feel understood. You don’t need to ask to find out that he’s done things too. Though there is a slight difference in your eyes’ – you are still struggling while he already accepted it.

“How many?”

Your breathing halts, and for a moment, you just stare at him, knowing exactly what he’s asking.

How many people have you killed?

“Two…”

Two people.

Two people don't sound like a lot, considering the number of bad ones you have run into, who wouldn’t have hesitated to slaughter you if you didn’t manage to escape beforehand.

Two people. Two kills. Two brutal kills that haunt you in your nightmares now that your comfort isn’t with you anymore.

He only nods slowly at you, looking down at his fingers as he leans forward with his elbows on his knees.

“Did they deserve it?”

“Of course.” You didn’t even hesitate in your answer, which made Aaron smile a little. “What about you?”

“You askin’ bout my body count, sugar?” He jokes and you couldn’t help, the little giggle in your throat, feeling yourself flushing at the double meaning. Then, when silence invaded the two of you again, “Six after the apocalypse.”

Your eyes widened at that, staring at him. He turns his head, looking your way again.

“I was head nurse in the military. Before any of this happened, we had our own little battles and wars. My tent got raided by a spy, I did what I had to do.”

You were wide-eyed as you stared at him, not really believing this man could kill. His hands just looked too gentle for it.

“And the others?”

“They tried taking hostages from here so we would give in our supplies… and–” He leans back on the bench, his shoulder touching yours. He nodded towards a group of children that were playing on the swings. “Three of those children I saved from a truck.”

You winced at the thought of that. You didn’t want to even begin to think what would have happened if Aaron hadn’t saved those children. Where they would be right now. Two of them were girls even… You shook your head before you could continue your train of thought.

“So they deserved it.”

“Of course.” He mimicked your words before looking down at you and you couldn’t help giving a shy smile to him.

“Good.”

“Yeah, good.” He emphasized the word to you, maybe to make it stick into your brain. To make you finally believe that what you did was not wrong. It had to be done. Someone had to do it. It sucked it had to be you, and now you would carry the weight of their deaths in your hands, but you preferred to carry that weight, than the weight of whatever might have happened if you hadn’t killed them.

“Good…” You whispered again, feeling his gaze going deep into your mind, your body, and you felt yourself flushing all over, making you turn away. He straightened up, clearing his throat.

“So, any allergies I should know about for tonight?” He asked and you hummed for a second, thinking.

“Nancy is allergic to celery.” You lied and Aaron squinted, leaning over to you.

“You don’t like celery?” You jumped in your place a bit, feeling the closeness. You turned your head a bit, acting stupid at his question.

“Nancy is allergic!” You exclaimed, trying to protect your lie, but Aaron was seeing right through you. Shit, were you acting like a child? Spoiled? You shouldn’t be picky in the apocalypse, but–

“Bad girls who don’t eat their vegetables, don’t get dessert, you know?”

Your eyes were now wide as you felt heat all over your face, slowly turning to face him again. He was smirking, his blue eyes gazing into your own eyes, going back and forth. Your heart started picking up a pace, not sure how to feel about it. He was just joking. This wasn’t–

“No celery then… for Nancy’s sake.” He straightened up, moving away from you, a smirk on his lips. You were still frozen in place for a few seconds before recovering, giving him a shy smile.

“Yeah, for Nancy’s sake.”

For just a few minutes, you forgot about everything that had happened. In this small interaction, everything and everyone else was gone. It felt nice. It felt refreshing.

But unbeknownst to you, someone was watching you both from a window. Hazel eyes that were burning in anger, in sadness, in despair. A hand that was gripping tightly onto a curtain, almost to the point of ripping it off.

And he wished this week would go by quickly.

“You’re yanking my hair!”

“If you would stop making me change your shirt every two seconds, I wouldn’t!” Steve huffed, taking off the seventh shirt Eddie had tried on. “I am also not yanking anything, you’re being a baby.”

“Sunshine wouldn’t treat me like this…” Eddie pouted, and Steve only glared, grabbing the button up that he had chosen from the very beginning, and Eddie had denied.

“If someone is helping you get dressed, it’s gonna be me, a man.”

“You scared the girls will realize who the true Alpha out of the two of us is?” Steve shot Eddie a murderous glare, while the metalhead straightened up, getting in position for Steve to put on the shirt.

“Or maybe, I didn’t want them to make fun of you, ever thought of that, Munson?” Eddie huffed as Steve helped him put on the button-up black shirt. It had long sleeves, so it was going to be warm on him. Eddie was happy to hear Steve joking again, even if a little, but he knew it was just a few moments before it all went back to how it was minutes before. Quiet.

Steve stood back up and started getting changed himself, finding a yellow sweater that almost reminded him to the one he had years ago. He put it on as Eddie buttoned himself up, his brown eyes glancing every now and then at the brown haired man.

“So… Aaron…”

“I don’t like him.” Steve immediately spat, and Eddie couldn’t help the chuckle escaping him, making Steve look at him, squinting. “What?”

“Is it because of the hair thing Dustin said?” Steve shook his head, fixing his hair in the mirror, “Or is it because he clearly wants to make a move on our Sunshine?”

Steve’s entire self froze in place. He gulped as he remembered how the two of you looked like on that bench. How you smiled at him the way you smiled at him weeks ago. No, it wasn’t that. He wasn’t flirting with you, not yet. It was his mind making up bullshit for him to feel horrible about.

“He is not going to.” Eddie rolled his eyes at his response, fixing the sleeves of his shirt.

“You cannot forbid that.” And Steve’s anger started boiling up once again, his jaw clenching.

“I am not forbidding anything. It’s not– It wouldn’t be smart for him to do that–” And Eddie knew Steve was trying to find excuses. He knew his best friend was hurting to the point that he was trying not to think of the possibility of well… losing you.

“Steve, what the fuck happened, man? Why did you reject her?” Steve just stood there, looking at his reflection, wondering if it would give the answer for him. He opened his mouth, only to close it once again.

“It is how it should be.”

“No it isn’t–” “What do you know about it, Eddie? What do you know about relationships?” Eddie’s eyebrows frowned, squinting at his friend.

“I do know. I know you don’t believe I have a sweetheart, but fuck, hearing that shit hurts.” Steve’s eyes widened, turning to look at the metalhead who was looking down at his fingers.

“I’m– I’m sorry–” He felt guilty after that outburst of anger. He could only excuse it for his lack of sleep, for how irritable he was feeling over the past week, because his personal sunshine, his personal warm blanket, was gone.

“Look, I know you’re mad, but I’m still your friend. You don’t get to hurt me when I’m trying to help you.” Eddie’s voice was sharp, and Steve sighed, shaking his head. He felt the lump forming in his throat as he tried to find the right words.

“I’m… I just know that it’s the right decision.”

“And look what it cost you. Was it really?” His question made Steve’s eyes widen. His decision cost him his friendship with you. His decision cost him his health. His decision cost him–

“Are you two ready?” Nancy’s voice snapped the two men out of their little talk, looking towards the door. Eddie glanced at Steve once before wheeling towards the door, opening it. He let out a little whistle at seeing Nancy dressed in black pants and a long-sleeved blouse.

“Well, look at Wheeler! We trynna impress one of the cowboys here?” He smirked, and Nancy rolled her eyes, a little smile on her face.

“Not me.” And Steve felt his heart plummet to the pit of his stomach. She better not have meant what he thought she meant. Eddie wheeled out of the room, going into the living room after Nancy, and Steve slowly followed behind.

He could hear Eddie’s wolf whistling, and he was afraid of even looking up from the floor. See what the commotion was about, afraid that his worst fear would be right. Afraid that what he would see would wreck him even more.

“Nancy made me wear this!” He heard your whiny voice, making his blood start freezing in his veins.

“It was only in your set of clothes! Clearly someone wants you to wear it!” Steve heard you groan loudly, prompting him to finally look up, and just like he had suspected, the sight broke him more than before.

You were wearing a dress. A dress. Not a fancy cocktail one, but it was black, a little bit above the knee, and you were wearing tights. You put on a black leather jacket, probably not wanting to look too formal, but Steve could only stare at you from head to toe. His eyes kept roaming all over you, his heart hammering in his chest, his brain yelling at him, and possibly a little birdie was cussing him out in the small corner of his mind.

“I haven’t worn a dress in… fucking years. This feels wrong in the apocalypse.” You mumbled, but your words were not processing in his head at all. Eddie’s eyes were on you as you fixed the hem of your dress in the mirror, looking a bit uncomfortable, and then back at Steve, who was still wide-eyed, staring your way.

Nancy rolled her eyes as she walked towards you, trying to, once again, assure you that you looked amazing. You weren’t really listening to her. Your eyes caught sight of him in the mirror, and– He was looking at you with those eyes that gave you hope before. Those eyes that gave you that courage you cursed having in the first place. And now he is giving those eyes again.

Why was he doing this? Why was he looking at you this way, making your heart jump and making those butterflies fly about in your stomach as if he had never rejected you? Why couldn’t he leave you alone? Why couldn’t he hide those eyes from you? Why does he have to fill your heart with hope again when your brain has already accepted defeat?

Steve felt his butt being slapped suddenly, taking him out of his stupid, glaring down at the culprit of it. Eddie’s eyes hardened, giving a small nod towards your way, and Steve gulped, shaking his head. He wasn’t going to comment, he couldn’t–

“Guys, tell her she looks nice–” Nancy said with a defeated sigh and–

“You look beautiful.”

The room filled with silence, and you frowned, slowly turning to face the man, the one who spoke. Steve stood there, shocked at how he could not stop the words from tumbling out of his mouth before he realized he was saying them.

Your breath hitches in your throat and your already hopeful heart lurches inside your chest. Your mind is screaming at you not to fall back into this trap, but whoever listens to their brain when the heart is so much stronger?

Nancy looks at you, eyes soft and pitiful. You can’t talk, you can’t smile, you can’t even say thank you.

Eddie looks between the both of you and he can’t help but feel annoyed at the vulnerable, soft look in Steve’s eyes. Why does he have to be so stubborn? Why can’t he just act upon his feelings? Why can’t he stop hurting both you and himself?

A sigh falls from Eddie’s lips as he takes a look at your expression. Your eyes aren’t as puffy and red as they had been earlier, but if Steve keeps looking at you that way, it will quickly change again.

“You look gorgeous, Sunshine.” Eddie smiles, tearing your attention off him.

You look down at him. The painful gaze disappears slowly as a soft smile appears on your face.

“Thank you, Eddie.” You whisper and look down at yourself.

“Alright, are we ready to go?” Nancy mumbles, looking between all of you.

You nod and take one last look in the mirror. You smooth down your dress once more, sighing at the sight you would have loved before.

“Yeah, I’m ready.” You tear your eyes away from the mirror and turn around, being the first to leave the room.

Steve’s eyes follow you until you disappear into the hallway. He gulps down the lump in his throat and blinks himself out of his stupor. He feels a little lightheaded just from seeing you like that. He can’t even imagine the emotions he would feel if he got something more than just to see you in a pretty dress. It was the right decision to push you away.

Nancy follows you out, leaving Steve to push Eddie’s wheelchair.

“Let’s go, man.”

Steve nods and steps behind him, grabbing the handles, and starts pushing.

“Robin was right, you know? You’re a real dingus.”

Steve doesn’t reply to Eddie’s comment. He had already heard that insult in his head for days and days since rejecting you. He can only sigh.

The walk to Aaron’s house is spent in silence. Eddie makes a few comments here and there about the houses in the neighborhood, saying how much nicer some people probably live in the apocalypse than they did before. He certainly didn’t grow up on a street with pretty houses, porches that are covered in lights, surrounded by plants and trees. He could have that if he didn’t have people waiting for him in California, if he stayed here.

“California is probably much nicer.” Steve murmurs after Eddie voices out how he would love to live in a place like this.

“Probably, yeah. I do kinda love this vibe here though.”

Nancy snorts as she walks beside him, looking down with an amused smile.

“What vibe?”

Eddie shrugs, looking past her and over to you, he grins. “This whole western theme, the cowboy thing. I’m kind of starting to get it, Sunshine.”

A smile tugs at your lips. You look over at him, crossing your arms over your chest to shield yourself from the cold.

“Yeah?”

Eddie nods. “In another life I’ll be a cowboy.”

Nancy laughs, shaking her head at her best friend.

“Why not in this one?”

Eddie frowns, scoffing. “One can’t just become a cowboy, you’re either born with it or you’re a pretender. Aaron is a real cowboy.”

Steve tenses up behind him, gripping the handles of the wheelchair tighter, he clenches his jaw and looks away.

“Me? I’m a rockstar, Wheeler. I was born with that.”

You and Nancy both giggle, sharing amused glances.

“Well, when we get to California, you will have to play with your band, Eddie. I’ve never been to a heavy metal gig before!”

Steve looks over at you. He doesn’t know why he feels such relief from hearing your words. It’s been clear that you and your family are coming with them and yet, he feels relieved to hear that your plans haven’t changed. He didn’t even realize how anxious he was about the possibility of you parting ways with them once getting back home.

“Oh, Sweetheart! You’ll get the best concert of your life!”

“I’m counting on that, Eddie.” You giggle.

Steve breathes in sharply when Aaron’s house comes into vision. He really isn’t looking forward to this evening at all, knowing he will have to endure watching the man flirt with you the way he probably did when you were sitting outside with him.

He doesn’t know what you have talked about with him and he isn’t sure if he even wants to know. It was bad enough watching him make you laugh. It made that sour taste on his tongue even worse.

“Will you carry me up the stairs, Wheeler? You’re my wonder woman.” Eddie cackles as he looks at the porch steps.

“It’s just three steps, I think your other leg is perfectly healthy.” She rolls her eyes at him, yet she is already leaning down to help as Steve leans down on his other side. He wraps his arms around their shoulders, grunting as they help him get up.

“Careful.” Steve warns him as Eddie makes the first step. He looks down at his feet, making sure that Eddie doesn’t put pressure on his injured leg. It’s a heartwarming sight to see him care for his friend like that. It makes your heart beat a little stronger.

You force your eyes away from him and look down. You reach for the wheelchair once they make it up to the porch.

“I got it, Sunshine–”

“It’s fine, it’s not heavy.” You mumble as you carry it up the stairs and place it down behind Eddie.

“Thanks, Sweets.” Eddie says softly as he carefully plops down, grunting again. “Damn, I never thought I’d have to use one again.”

“Only for a couple of days,” Nancy mumbles, giving him a reassuring smile. She was the one who took care of him after he almost died in the upside down. He had to use the wheelchair for weeks, and he hated it. “You can use crutches in a few days, you’ll be fine.”

Steve puts his hand on Eddie’s shoulder, squeezing it.

Eddie gives him a tight lipped smile, “alright, knock on the damn door before I freeze to death out here.”

Steve sighs and nods, “alright…” He lifts his hand and knocks on the door. He takes a deep breath, bracing himself for a long evening.

He glances back at you, to find you looking at him already, but you quickly turn your gaze away. Looking down shyly.

The door opens, and Steve almost sighs in relief when it’s Thomas’s face that greets them. He knows he can’t avoid him, he was the one who made the invite after all but he’ll take every second he doesn’t have to look at him making eyes at you.

“Good evening,” Thomas smiles, shaking Steve’s hand. The older man smiles at you before he takes in the new faces, Eddie and Nancy who he hasn't met yet. “Eddie and Nancy, right?”

“Yes sir.” Eddie grins, leaning forward to shake his hand. The metalhead is a little surprised by the Texan accent.

You’re too busy looking down at Eddie to notice the awestruck look on Nancy’s face as she stares at the man before her.

“I’m Thomas, you can call me Tommy though.” He waves his hand, smiling between them too, before he grabs Nancy’s hand, giving her a nod and a softer smile. “Come on in, it’s cold out here.”

Nancy pushes the wheelchair inside, walking past the man who is looking between all of you with a kind smile on his face.

Steve lifts his arm up and gestures for you to step inside. You take a deep breath and brush past him, greeting the older man once more. Your breath hitches in your throat when you feel Steve’s hand on your lower back.

“You live here too?” Eddie asks Tommy, looking back at him.

“Yeah. Me, Aaron, and my brother. This house has enough room for all of us, that way we can also leave the other houses empty for families and newcomers.”

Eddie nods, “makes sense.”

You look around, taking in the western themed decoration around the hallway, though you are still coming down from the emotions he filled you with once again. His touch lingered still even after letting go of your back. You try to focus on anything but him behind you.

The smell lingering in the house, coming from the kitchen, is mouth watering. Your stomach suddenly feels emptier than ever, making you forget the last time you had a warm home cooked meal.

Tommy leads you into the living room, where the dinner table is set up already, filled with plates, wine, and whiskey glasses. Country music is playing, and the fireplace is lit, casting an orange glow over the room.

Footsteps echo from the hallway, and you turn around to see Aaron walking into the room. A kitchen towel is slung over his shoulder. He is wearing a dark flannel, the top buttons undone, chest hair, and a silver chain around his neck on display. Your cheeks heat up at the sight of him, not being able to stop your eyes from scanning him.

You see Tommy pulling the chair back for Nancy to sit, and she thanks him, sitting down next to Eddie, still in his wheelchair, but already sitting at the table. Steve waited for you to choose a seat so he could pull the chair for you, but a deep southern voice made all of you turn again to the man who just came into the room.

“Good evening, folks. Eddie, you lookin’ sharp.” You could see Aaron’s eyes scanning your friend’s face and limbs, as if doing a medical inspection from afar. Eddie nodded with a smile, pulling his hair back from his shoulders.

“I was forced to put on this button up.” Aaron nodded, his head turning to face Nancy now.

“You look great, Nancy.” Steve froze up a bit at how friendly he was being. Way too friendly. Way too friendly for someone who knew you all for only two days. Your eyes met Nancy’s, who only turned her head a bit with a smile on her face.

“Thank you.” Steve winced a bit when Aaron turned to finally face him. He didn’t want a forced compliment, didn’t need one. But the blue eyed man didn’t care, shooting him a smile.

“Knew that sweater was your size. Told ya, Tommy.” Thomas made a mocking noise as he sat down in front of Eddie.

“Yeah, uh… Thanks.” He was about to speak again, but Aaron quickly interrupted.

“Well, sit down now, I’ll bring the food in in a second.” Your eyes looked at the available seats, one next to Tommy, the other two were at the heads of the table. Before you could take the seat next to Tommy’s, one of the head of the table’s chairs was pulled back. “You’ll sit here, Sugar.”

“Oh? Um… alright?” You questioned. Steve raised an eyebrow in question as he clenched his fists, begrudgingly sitting down next to Tommy, but gladly, he was still next to you. Your eyes met Aaron’s as you sat down, and he chuckled at your tone.

“It’s just so I can see you better. Would be a waste to miss such a view during this night.” Your entire face heated up at the blunt compliment. Direct. Straight to the point. No dancing around. You were not used to it. You didn’t know how to respond, staring at him as you were pulled into the table.

Steve’s eyes hardened as he gripped the edges of his chair, his knuckles going white in rage, in pure anxiety and nerves. He didn’t feel hungry, just nauseous. Aaron patted the back of your chair, before heading back into the kitchen. Your eyes were still a bit lost at the compliment, looking down at the plate to then hear a whistle coming from Eddie’s side, and that made you look up.

“Oh, she is flustered!” He joked, and you could only shake your head, trying to deny how weird it felt to have someone compliment you like this.

“It was just a compliment! You all got one too!” You tried to defend, but Nancy giggled, taking a sip of her glass of water, murmuring into the glass.

“We weren’t put on a display case like a nobel prize.” She joked, and you shook your head, looking away. Steve was staring at you, inspecting your expressions, the way you reacted, the way you moved, the way you talked. He was looking for any indication that would show him you disliked it. He was looking for reassurance, knowing it was selfish. Knowing he shouldn’t. But his heart had a mind of its own.

“Always the charming one. He was the one who picked out the dress you are wearing now, you know.” Tommy said, pouring himself a glass of wine and offering to Steve who was frozen at the comment. Aaron picked that outfit for you because he wanted to see you like this. He couldn’t help but feel a little angry. You weren’t a barbie doll. You weren’t sure of wearing that dress before, even if it looked really nice on you, the most beautiful thing Steve’s seen in years.

But he wasn’t prepared for you to smile, a soft voice coming off your lips.

“I ought to thank him later.”

Steve immediately let Tommy fill his glass of wine, and Eddie took notice of that. It only took four sips, and he had downed half the wine in his glass, earning him a chuckle from the man beside him. Steve cleared his throat, looking at his glass and back at the older man.

��I just– I haven’t had a good wine in some time.” He was lying. He wasn’t a wine guy, but he didn’t want to look nervous, or that he was drinking his anxiety away. He had to keep himself together. He had to.

“Tommy, don’t be a lazy ass and help me bring in the food for our guests!” You all heard Aaron yell from the kitchen, and Tommy grunted heavily, getting up from his chair.

“You’re making an old man work!” He complained, winking towards the lot of you, and walking towards the kitchen.

“You are 48, you are far from it!” You giggled at the loud voice as Tommy disappeared into the kitchen. Your eyes found Eddie who was wiggling his eyebrows your way, making you flush again and sigh, trying to look away. You felt your heart beating in your chest, and there were knots in your belly. You didn’t know why, but you were nervous.

“He’s 48!? Shit.” Nancy exclaimed in a whisper, grabbing the wine and pouring herself a glass, making your eyes widen. You heard Steve snort a bit, coughing into his fist.

“Please, tell me you didn’t–”

“I thought he was in his late 30’s!” She confessed, and you couldn’t help the fit of giggles that came over you. You’ve never seen Nancy interested in anyone, and Tommy was a handsome man, but you liked them a little younger than almost half a century. Steve couldn’t stop himself from smiling at the sound of your laughter, and then Eddie joined. You were all giggling at the table like high schoolers, only for the two men to walk in again with plates in their hands.

“What are we laughing about?” Aaron asked with a smile, and you all cleared your throats, sitting straight up again. You looked at the man, shaking your head.

“Nothing, nothing.” You tried defending, but he squinted, leaning a bit downwards towards your face, getting closer. His cologne was bitter, wooden, with a hint of leather behind it. A scent that was making it impossible not to feel drawn in.

“Liars get punished, sweets.” You felt a shiver running down your spine, his eyes just gazing into yours with something you’ve never experienced before… or maybe you have. Or you thought you did. Blue eyes that were gazing down at you, the same way hazel ones did before. Hazel ones that still do.

Yet, they meant different things, didn’t they?

Aaron straightened up, putting a plate in front of Steve, and the brown haired man was still fixated on your face. His eyebrows were furrowed into a sad frown, a worried one. Only the clinking of the porcelain of the plates being placed cut him out of his thoughts. He looked down to see a juicy steak, with some boiled potatoes and steamed vegetables on the side.

Aaron placed the other plate for you, your stomach growling at the sight of fresh meat, fresh vegetables, fresh everything. Even the spices used were fresh. It was steaming, and it smelled as delicious as it looked.

“No celery.” Aaron said, and winked your way as you gave him a shy giggle that made Steve’s skin itch. No celery? You didn’t like celery? He didn’t know that. So why did Aaron know it? Tommy placed the plates he brought in front of Nancy and Eddie, and the metalhead was salivating at the sight.

“Eddie, wait for the hosts to sit down.” Nancy said, her eyes locked in on the steak and you were sure she was saying it more to herself than to Eddie. The metalhead groaned as Tommy chuckled, going back to take his seat as Aaron went back to get their last plates.

Everyone was hungry except for one person. He didn’t know if he could eat, even if his stomach grumbled; he didn’t know if it was because of nerves or hunger. He was afraid of eating and throwing it back up.

When Aaron returned, he placed a plate in front of Tommy before sitting on the other end of the table, all across from you. He poured himself a glass of wine before raising it up towards all of you.

“May your stay here be relaxing.” His eyes were trained on yours, and you mimicked him, raising your own glass after filling it up with some wine. The rest followed, giving reassuring smiles, except for Steve. He could barely manage a tug on the lips. Once the first sip was taken, you all finally dug in, and the first to yell was–

“HOLY FUCKING SHIT!” You honestly expected those words from Eddie, who moaned at the first bite of his steak, not from proper Nancy Wheeler. You were all wide eyed, except for the two hosts on the table who just watched her devour her meat.

“A woman who knows how to eat.” Tommy chuckled, and you were still stunned at seeing Nancy eating like that, and it was after the fourth massive bite that she stopped to apologize.

“I’m so sorry, I just– Haven’t had fresh meat in a while, and I love meat.” Steve chuckled at that, not surprised to hear that. Nancy always ate protein in her meals before, and if it had meat even better. Tommy gave her a nod of approval, a smile on his face.

“Well, we have our farms here. We breed our own cows, chickens, pigs… But I do love a good hunt. Rabbit meat is exquisite.” You could almost giggle at how Nancy’s ears perked up, swallowing her food down.

“Well, if we are staying for a week, maybe– You can take me out hunting with you… sir.” Eddie choked on his potato, trying to cough it out, not having expected Nancy to make a move like that. You were wide eyed, cutting into the steak, side eying Steve to see if he was listening to the same thing you were, and by his amused glance, you knew you heard right.

“Oh, don’t call me sir. Makes me feel old.”

“Trust me, you don’t look old.” Aaron couldn’t help it, putting his fist over his mouth as his shoulders shook a bit at Tommy’s stunned face from Nancy’s obvious advances. Fuck, you had to keep it together. You could feel your laughter wanting to get out of your mouth, but you took deep breaths in, straightening up as you took a bite of your steak.

“Sorry for uh, Tommy’s brother, Paxton. He has night guard duty today.” Aaron explained, trying to change the subject for his friend’s sake. Eddie finally recovered and was eating an asparagus which he never thought he would, with delight.

“So you are like… The big three?” He asked, making you raise an eyebrow in confusion. Aaron chuckled, but then made a somewhat nod with a shrug.

“We are all like… heads, leaders of an area. Tommy is good with hunting, but he is also very good with the administration and organization of supplies. I am good in the medical field, but also good in the exploration team. Then, Paxton is good at fighting, but he is the one organizing the rotating teams for the day and night watches.”

You were surprised to hear how well organized this community was, and sure, Tommy might be the leader, as Aaron said, but the three of them were the ones people went to in need.

“Wow, that’s… amazing.” You said out loud, making Aaron look up and give a smile your way. You felt a small kick against your right ankle, and Steve straightened up with a wince.

“Sorry.” Aaron’s eyes drifted to the brown haired man as he took a sip of his wine. He inspected Steve, only for Tommy to interrupt his thoughts.

“So, Aaron told me here you all know the Hawkins crew! Those boys were the ones who fixed and taught us about our radios. We might be good at many things, but we lack in the technological area.” He winced a bit at his words, and Nancy giggled, wiping the corner of her mouth with the tissue.

“Yeah, I always called my brother a nerd. But, thanks to him and his nerdy friends, I really don’t know if… many of us would be alive by now.” She expressed, and you couldn’t help but notice the saddened yet relieved expression that covered her features.

“Oh, which one of those is your brother?” Tommy asked and Nancy straightened up once again.

“Mike, then the other is Holly.” Tommy nodded with a knowing expression as if deep in thought, turning to look at Aaron.

“Karen was the mom, right?” Nancy winced at the mention of her mom, and you knew it was because it would give out her age to the man before them. A man, that, from what you could gather, Nancy was trying to flirt with. Aaron went deep in thought, squinting a bit to then nod in agreement. “Let me tell you, you don’t look your age.”

Eddie, once again, choked on his food. He was trying to eat in peace, but the conversations were not helping at all. Aaron chuckled, patting his back gently as Nancy smiled, straightening up.

“I’ve been told.” You noticed how the older man’s eyes lingered on Nancy’s form as she began eating again, and you held in a whistle as you went back to your food. Steve was trying not to choke on his own potatoes as he tried to silence the room around him.

“And, are any of those other people your family?” Aaron asked as he took a bite of his own food, looking at Steve, making him talk. He gulped, taking a sip of his wine before speaking, hoping his tone would not give away his nerves.

“Uh… no. We all consider each other family.”

“From your worry over Dustin, I would have thought he was your brother.” A wave of nostalgia washed over Steve, and you could see his eyes glistening a bit as a small smile formed on his lips.

“Well… like I said… we consider each other family.” Eddie then nodded, turning to talk to Aaron.

“But, I am the most likable brother. Steve was the favorite until I arrived.” Steve squinted at his friend, shaking his head.

“Favorite?”

“Oh yeah, you think Henderson didn’t tell me how jealous you were that you hung out with me?” At that, Nancy interrupted.

“Yeah, Steve, you were jealous.” Steve rolled his eyes, shaking his head.

“I wasn’t.”

“In Dustin’s words, you called me older and cooler.” Eddie mentioned, and the bantering kept going. You listened, wanting to include yourself in their conversation but feeling slightly detached from it. They talked about their friends, their family, knowing they were waiting for them. That is why they could joke about the past.

But you didn’t have a way to contact your family. You knew your brother was smart, but not that smart to build a radio station from scratch. You knew your family was alive, yet–

“What about you, Sunshine?” You looked up to look at Steve, thinking it was him the one who called out to you, but his eyes were looking towards the other end of the table, almost surprised.

You followed the gaze, seeing blue eyes staring at you with a comforting smile.

“Sorry, I heard them call you that.” He apologized and you gulped, shaking your head slowly as if saying you didn’t mind. Eddie had called you that a few times but… It was only Steve who called you Sunshine, all the time.

“I– Uh… I mentioned that my family is in Nevada, probably waiting for me, hurdled up.” You tried to joke around and Steve’s head turned your way and then he licked his lips, looking back at Aaron.

Aaron nodded, he knows that part already but you haven’t talked much about your family yet.

“We’re going there to get her parents and brother, then we are all going to California.” Aaron’s eyes met Steve’s, and the fire in the fireplace crackled a little bit. You felt some tension passing by, looking in between the two men. Aaron tilted his head, his soft smile never leaving his lips.

“Is that so?”

You felt nervous, for whatever reason. You gulped, looking at Nancy and Eddie who were also looking back and forth Steve and Aaron and then your eyes found some horse reins, hung on the wall behind Nancy. You cleared your throat, catching their attention again.

“I’ve always wanted to ride a horse. Never had the chance to do so.” Aaron raised an eyebrow in amusement and then Eddie chuckled, taking a sip of his water.

“Yeah, our Sunshine here loves all western stuff. I bet this place is her Disneyland.” You rolled your eyes trying to hide your embarrassment, looking away. Aaron chuckled, crossing his arms over his chest as he leaned back on his chair.

“Really, now? And you love western stuff and never rode a horse?”

“My mom is terrified of them… So, obviously, she never let us near them.” You commented with a giggle, taking a sip of your wine as Aaron’s eyes never left you.

“Tell you what. How about you and I go horseback riding one of these days?” Steve’s entire body grew a cold sweat, his fingertips going a little numb. You two? Alone? No. He couldn’t be trusted. You for sure would not accept that so easily–

“I would love that! Are the horses friendly with strangers?"

His eyes found your excited smiling face, and his heart felt like it was crumbling to the pit of his stomach. He looked down at his food, noticing he had eaten only half, or even less, compared to what everyone else ate. He felt sick. He felt pained.

"Sure thing. But Athena, our female, she loves to be ridden by pretty girls. She won't let you fall." Aaron says, smirking when he notices how flustered you got by his comment.

Steve couldn’t stop himself from putting a hand on the back of your chair, an action you grew so accustomed to, that you didn’t notice it as you began eating once again. He could feel Nancy’s eyes on him, but he didn’t care. He didn’t care, but letting this man know… letting him know what?

“You two dating?” Everyone looked at Tommy, wondering who he was talking to, and then he pointed towards you and Steve with his fork. Only then, you notice the hand on the back of your chair. Indignation rose up in your throat, gulping as your jaw clenched. Steve didn’t even say anything, and you couldn’t believe him. Why isn’t he the one responding when he was the one who rejected you?

You cleared your throat, looking down at the last bits of your food.

“No, we’re just partners.”

And Steve felt his entire self break down at that second. He became void. Numb. He could hear everyone else talking, and if at some point he was talked to, hopefully they didn’t think he ignored them on purpose. He just wasn’t there.

He felt empty. There was laughter, but the smile never reached his face. There were stories, but none came out of his mouth. There were plans, yet he could not register a single one. He felt his chest being compressed, as if someone was doing a vacuum seal around him, and he couldn’t stop it.

He didn’t even register the moment you all got up and bid goodbye to Aaron and Tommy. He saw Nancy talking to Tommy privately for a bit, but his eyes went back to you. You were with Aaron and Eddie, talking about Eddie’s health, but Steve’s ears were ringing. Thrumming. Banging. Stinging.

When you all got to the house, Nancy helped Eddie in, and before you walked in, the cold air hit his lungs again. He took a deep breath in, and his hand shot out to grab your wrist.

Your breath got caught in your throat, and you turned to look at Steve, who looked as lost as he was at the dinner table. His breathing was heavy, labored, the foggy breath coming out of his mouth thanks to the cold.

“Partners? We’re not even friends?” He asked, gulping heavily as he waited for your answer. He feared it. He feared you. He feared losing you. You doomed him, completely, and you hadn’t even got a clue of it.

But instead of words, you ripped your hand away from him, and you gave him a shake of your head. You didn’t even speak to him. He couldn’t read you, not anymore. Your smile was gone. Your joy with him left you. Your warmth left him.

And you entered the cabin, leaving him out there in the cold. He grabbed onto his head as he tried to gather himself, try to stitch his broken parts together again, because– He couldn’t blame you for what he felt. He couldn’t blame Aaron. He couldn’t blame anyone else.

Only himself.

And so, he should learn to live without you. He has to. He had to. But how could he? How was he going to be able to do that–

When your smile was the first thing he looked forward to every single morning.

☀︎

well well well... poor Steve but he set himself up didn't he...?

also also Tommy... this is Tommy.

taglist: @prettyboyeddiemunson @pretentious-blonde @thecreelhouse @tvserie-s-world @thesickestqrmydcll @crispystarfishhottub @sophal22 @definitionwanderlust @talkativecarnation @mysticalwoolenfroglegs @ariesandwolves @mortqlprojections @sattlersquarry @sherrylyn0628 @purpleeyeswithgoldensparkles @micheledawn1975 @keepingitlokiii @littleromanoff2005 @sunshine-mrk @xxladymjxx @bananasplits-world @myharrington

#steve harrington x reader #stranger things angst #steve harrington x you #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington angst #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington

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giuliannna · 2 months ago

Text

SUNDOWN

☀︎ 13 : DAY SEVEN

you’re not just the horizon he sinks beneath. you’re the gravity that pulls him back each time.

inside the house, the group is beginning to stir. the kitchen fills with the scent of coffee, and the low murmur of conversation breaks the morning stillness - until everyone’s attention quickly shifts to the large window that overlooks the dock.

there, just outside, you and hamzah lie together, completely unaware of the group’s quiet observation. you’re still wrapped in each other’s arms, your bodies laid out across the dock, faint sunlight catching the curve of your faces.

your heads are tilted toward each other, the space between you no longer filled with tension but with the comfort of something deeper, something unspoken but understood.

you’re at peace, your breathing slow and steady, a stark contrast to the restless nights that came before this moment.

martin, standing next to mandy, grins as he takes in the sight. “huh,” he exhales. “guess they figured it out.”

mandy, with a knowing look in her eyes, gives a soft chuckle. “i knew they would,” she says, nudging him playfully. there’s no judgment in her tone, only the warmth of someone who’s happy to see things finally aligning for her friend.

chase, still a bit confused, leans in to get a better look. “wait.. no fuckin’ way they slept outside - together?”

“uh-huh,” claire replies, her voice light with amusement, a smile decorating her face as she watches you two.

the group falls into a comfortable silence, watching the two of you, still lost in the quiet, early morning calm. everyone can sense that something has changed. a difference that’s subtle yet monumental. the uncertainty that hung in the air for days has evaporated, leaving behind something undeniably real.

the weight of everything that’s transpired - the emotional struggles, the arguments, the final honesty - seems to settle in. maybe you and hamzah still have a lot to figure out, but for now, you’ve made it through the hardest part. you’ve found your way back to each other.

“good for them.” martin says quietly, his eyes softening as he watches you two.

mandy smiles, her heart full. “yeah. they’ve been through a lot, i think. they weren’t exactly hiding it well.”

and with that, the group lets the moment linger, quietly content for the two of you. the peaceful silence is eventually broken when chase, always the one to speak his mind, grins and claps his hands together.

“so, who’s making breakfast?” he asks, his lightheartedness cutting through the moment. but even his voice feels warmer today, as if the tensions of the past few days are finally starting to lift.

as the group begins to prepare for the day, they share knowing looks, happy to see things between you and hamzah falling into place. it feels right, in every possible way - like the storm has finally passed and everyone can breathe a little better.

out on the dock, the sun continues to rise higher, casting a golden light over everything. slowly, you stir in your sleep, the warmth of the rays coaxing you awake. hamzah shifts next to you, his hand still resting on your waist.

when you finally blink your eyes open, you meet his gaze, and there’s something different in the way he looks at you. it’s not the guarded, distant look from the past, but something softer. more genuine.

you smile, and he returns it, though his expression is still tinged with the vulnerability he’s spent so much of this trip avoiding.

the day begins, the promise of a fresh start hanging in the air, and the two of you slowly sit up, your fingers still intertwined.

as you make your way back to the house, the sunlight dances across the water in a sparkling mirror of reflection - reflecting the shift that’s occurred between you two. a shift that’s set you on the right path.

the house feels quieter today. the hum of activity that had filled the space over the past few days now replaced with the soft sounds of packing, the shuffle of bags, and the occasional clink of dishes being put away.

everyone is moving at their own pace, preparing for the journey back home. the morning light streams in through the open windows, and the air is warm, carrying the scent of pine and earth from the surrounding woods.

you’ve spent the past hour packing your things, a strange mix of sadness and relief filling you as you fold your clothes.

the trip was everything you’d hoped for - and yet, everything has changed. your connection with hamzah is different now. it’s no longer just physical. it’s something deeper, something far more intimate than either of you had anticipated.

you step out onto the balcony, feeling the wood of the railing under your hands as you stare out at the lake.

the view is beautiful as always - that seems to be the only thing that’s been left unchanged during this trip. the calm water shimmering in the sunlight, the trees swaying gently in the breeze. that’s all the same.

your mind is elsewhere. it’s hard to focus, to stop thinking about him. about how different things are between the two of you. how it feels like the first time you’re actually seeing him for who he really is.

the sound of the sliding door opening behind you catches your attention. you turn, your heartbeat stuttering in your chest when you see hamzah standing there, ever the one to interrupt your moments of quiet, his gaze locked on you with an intensity that sends a shiver down your spine.

he doesn’t say anything at first. he just watches you, his eyes soft but filled with something unspoken. for a moment, it feels like time stops. the noise of the outside world fades, leaving just the two of you standing there.

you break the silence first. “i’m almost done packing. just, um, need to grab a few things..” you trail off, not sure what else to say, unsure if the words even matter anymore.

another beat passes. it feels like a million things are hanging in air, like everything that’s been said and unsaid in the past week is finally being pushed to the brink.

his lips curl into a small, knowing smile, and without another word, he crosses the short distance between you, his hand reaching up to cup your cheek.

the touch is overwhelmingly gentle, and for the first time, you feel like he’s really there with you. fully present, no walls or defenses.

when his lips meet yours, everything else fades away. there’s no urgency or pressure. just pure, slow intimacy. it’s nothing like before - the kisses that were rushed, filled with tension and hunger.

his hands move slowly, tracing your back before sliding to the front of your shirt. he pulls it over your head, and you don’t stop him, instead reaching for his shirt in return.

it’s a careful process. you’re both savoring each moment, each piece of clothing that’s removed is bringing you closer to something more than just physical.

when you’re both nearly bare, standing in the warmth of the sun, he steps back just slightly, his eyes taking in the sight of you.

he looks at you like he’s seeing you for the first time - like he’s memorizing every curve, every inch of you. there isn’t an ounce of shame in his gaze. just admiration.

in a way, it is the first time he’s seeing you like this. you’ve been so used to late-night connection with him that’s tucked away in the shadows.

but now? it’s literally in broad daylight.

“i didn’t know i could feel like this,” he admits quietly, his voice thick with something you can’t quite place. “i don’t know how to explain it.”

your heart skips a beat, but instead of pushing him away or retreating, you take a step forward. “you don’t need to explain it,” you whisper, your voice shaky but confident. “i feel it too.”

and then, without a word, he picks you up, his arms strong and firm around your waist as he carries you to the edge of the balcony.

the heat from his body presses against yours, and for a second, you feel almost weightless in his arms. he lowers you gently to the railing, your legs straddling his waist as he looks down at you, his chest rising and falling with every breath.

hamzah’s hands settle on your hips like he’s scared to press too hard. like you might break or disappear if he moves too fast. he’d never let you fall, though. that goes without saying.

the wood of the balcony railing is chilly against the backs of your thighs. hot body is searingly hot between your legs.

everything’s simmering down to a thick, honey-sweet sensation.

you’re breathing him in - pine and smoke and the salt of sweat from the morning sun. he’s already flushed, cheeks pink, hair tousled, breath a little shallow.

neither of you rush. there’s no point. not anymore.

his fingers slip beneath your thighs, tracing mindless patterns into your skin. he leans in, forehead resting against yours for a long second before kissing you again - all open-mouthed, slow, and lazy.

you tilt your hips up instinctively, just to feel more of him against you. his cock is pressed between you, hard through the thin fabric of his boxers. he shudders when your bodies draw nearer.

you smile against his mouth. he groans into yours.

his hands wander your skin. one up your spine, one on your waist. his lips drag lower, down your throat, nipping lightly until you’re gasping quietly in tune with the morning breeze.

when he pulls back to look at you again, his pupils are blown wide, his brown irises nearly swallowed in black.

“you’re so pretty,” he whispers, almost like he’s mad about it. like it’s hurting him.

you don’t even answer. you reach down, pushing his boxers lower, until you feel his bare length brush against your core

he’s already leaking, the head of his cock flushed deep red. you wrap a hand around him, causing his hips to buck helplessly, a broken gasp spilling from his lips.

“fuck,” he groans, his head dropping forward onto your shoulder.

you simply hum, guiding him to you, letting his tip drag between your folds. you’re already soaked. you both shiver.

hamzah presses a kiss to your temple, then your neck and shoulder like he can’t bear to not be touching you everywhere.

“you okay?” he asks, voice soaked with need.

you nod.

with another soft kiss to your collarbone, he pushes in.

it’s painfully slow.

you both exhale shakily as he sinks into you inch by inch, stretching you open. it fills you with a once familiar ache that feels so different now.

you’re both gasping when he bottoms out, his hips meeting yours. he doesn’t move.

“god,” he mutters against your neck. “you feel - fuck.”

you whimper, thighs tightening around his waist, hands clutching at his shoulders.

the earth feels huge around you. open air, lake sparkling, woods whispering.

but hamzah is all you can feel. all you can breathe.

he rocks into you once, deep and slow. you moan, head tipping back, baring your throat to the sky. he thrusts again. and again.

each roll of his hips sends more heat into your belly. each grind of his body into yours feels like it took this whole week, all the fighting, all the crying, just to find your way here - and you never want to leave.

hamzah lifts his head, kissing you again, messy and needy. “fuck, m’so stupid,” he pants. “i need you to stay. want - mmh, want you all the time.”

you whimper something into his mouth. something that sounds like yes, always, please.

he’s not moving fast. not hard. just so deep. every inch of him is buried inside you, every thrust making you gasp. your nails scrape down his back as he clutches you tightly, holding your entire body weight securely.

it’s everything, yet simultaneously not enough.

“inside. my bed.” you pant against his ear.

he nods wordlessly, simply lifting you and carrying you back through the door and into the house where everything changed.

hamzah lays you down like you’re something sacred.

the sheets are rumpled. the windows are wide open, sun pouring in soft and golden. outside, the lake glitters quietly. a breeze carries the scent of earth and water into the room.

but none of that affects you.

it’s nothing compared to the weight of him above you, or the look on his face as he presses your back into the mattress.

when he gazes down at you, you can tell what’s persisting in his head - he’s seeing something he doesn’t think he deserves.

“god,” he whispers, voice cracking. “you’re so fucking beautiful.”

he crawls over you slowly, his hands dragging up your thighs, your hips, your waist. and when his cock presses back into you, it’s different. needier, like he’s losing restraint.

you both gasp when he sinks in all the way. his forehead presses into yours. his body’s trembling.

“i’m sorry,” he whispers. you know what he’s implying. “i’m so fucking sorry.”

you cup his face. “i know,” you breathe. “but all of that is over right now.”

still, you don’t tell him it’s okay, because, again - it’s not. you’re not sure if it ever will be, but you’re sure that by now he’s willing to get down on his hands and knees to beg for you, and that’s good enough for the time being.

“no,” he says, thrusting into you again, deeper this time, his voice shrouded with guilt. “should’ve gotten my shit together. should’ve - fuck - should’ve told you. should’ve treated you right, the way you deserved.”

you whimper, legs wrapping tighter around his waist. he’s fucking into you so deep, your whole body feels like it’s buzzing under him.

your hands slide up his back, nails dragging lightly across his skin, and he shudders.

“you’re.. fuck, everything i need,” he mutters against your mouth. “i didn’t know. i didn’t know how bad i needed you.”

you moan into his mouth, hips tilting up to meet his. every thrust rocks the bed gently. the headboard creaks against the wall.

“god, i - i almost lost you. s’never happening again.”

the air between you is sticky with sweat. the sound of your bodies moving together is obscene. hamzah presses his forehead to yours again, his eyes wired shut.

“you feel so good,” he breathes. “so fuckin’ good - m’not gonna last, i can’t - you’re too much, you’re everything-”

you grip his face, pull him back down to kiss him harder. he groans into your mouth, hips falling out of rhythm, cock twitching inside you.

but he slows himself. he forces it for you. you feel every twitch of restraint in his muscles. he presses his face against your shoulder.

“thank you,” he whispers like a prayer. “thank you for not giving up on me.”

you arch up into him. “i would never,” you whisper, half-whimpering.

he groans deep in his chest, thrusting faster, making you cry out. you clutch at his back, dragging your nails down to his waist.

he catches your mouth with his again, kissing you with desperate hunger, like he’s trying to pour everything into you. the apologies, the love, the promises he doesn’t know how to verbalize yet.

you’re close. he can feel it.

he tilts his hips just right, grinding into you, and you lose control - crying out in mindless repetitions of his name. your whole body clenches around him, pulling him deeper like you’re begging him to stay there forever.

when you cum, it’s like your frame has shattered and there’s a million little beams of light slipping through the cracks in your skin. he fucks you through it, hips rolling worshipfully.

and when you finally start coming down from the high, he buries his face in your neck, groaning like he’s ripping at the seams, and cums inside you with a shudder and a moan that wracks his whole body.

long after you both regain a steady flow of breath, he still stays buried in you, hips grinding slow, even as he softens.

he kisses your neck. your jaw. your cheeks. your eyelids. little, desperate kisses. you run your hands through his hair, tugging gently, bringing him back to earth.

he collapses onto you, his full weight pressing you into the mattress, and you don’t mind. you just hold him.

both of you breathe in sync, sunlight washing over your tangled, sticky bodies.

for the first time, it doesn’t feel like an ending.

it feels like a beginning.

there’s no goodbye. no slipping quietly out of the room.

hamzah doesn’t let go of you for a long time.

his arms stay wrapped tight around your waist, chest pressed to yours. you feel the damp heat of his forehead against the crook of your neck, the nudge of his nose when he kisses the spot just under your ear.

you don’t say anything. neither does he.

the whole room feels thick with the weight of everything that just passed between you, the way it cracked both of you open and stitched you back together at the same time.

the lake’s breeze flutters through the open windows, making the curtains sway.

hamzah finally picks his head up, just enough to look up at you.

his hair’s messy and sticking to his forehead. his cheeks are flushed, lips kiss-bruised, his whole body still damp with sweat. he looks gorgeous.

he smiles. it’s small. crooked. the type of face martin makes at mandy when she’s dressed all fancy for dinner or even just lounging around with their pets. like he’s so fucking gone for you he doesn’t know how to hide it anymore.

“you’re not real,” he says.

you laugh under your breath, brushing your fingers through his curls. “i’m literally right here,” you murmur.

he just smiles wider. shifts closer. presses a soft kiss right over your heartbeat.

“still don’t believe it,” he mumbles against your chest.

you close your eyes, basking in it all.

his hand drifts lazily up and down your side, tracing every curve, committing your body to memory.

you can feel the words piling up in his mouth within the silence. the ones he’s scared to say. the ones he already said with his body.

you don’t push him. he’ll get there.

you just keep stroking his hair, dragging your nails lightly over his scalp. he melts further into you with each movement.

after another long stretch of silence, he speaks up.

“when we get home..” he starts, then trails off.

you hum, urging him to continue. his arm tightens around you. he clears his throat and starts again.

“when we get home, i wanna.. keep this.”

you open your eyes. he’s looking up at you now. all yours.

“i don’t wanna fuck it up again,” he says in a whisper.

you smile, so softly it has his mind reeling, just from how beautiful you look in that very moment.

“you won’t.” you tell him, only because you’re fully confident in that answer.

you’re already tangled together. physically in the sheets, and metaphorically in the mess of everything that came before - and everything that’s still waiting for you when you go back home.

you hold his gaze, and he leans in once more.

he kisses you like he’s the sun.

wild and burning and inevitable.

like he’s spent his whole life rising, just to fall into you.

you’re not just the horizon he sinks beneath.

you’re the gravity that pulls him back each time.

the force that gives him purpose.

without you, there’s no sunup or sundown.

read the final part here

xoxo giulia

taglist: @gulicore @sturniyolo @slushingmynoob @testdrivethv @ecstqzy @slushyboob @ldrvinyl @xoxoange1l @sleep9times @chrissvalentine @str8fromttpd @elysiumb @hamzahsbiggestfan @ilovezah @screamertannie @i-miss-summer24 @willowpeaks @slushedup @harrys0nlyange1 @venus-planetof-love @milkteabish @xarerie @gabwilliams @slushypoopz @isathefantastic @modernbaseball17 @rock678 @hoe4hamzah @anginluv @slushingkoala @simonegrimes @marixoa @brlwla @cupidsbrainrot

#giulianna ⁀➴#hamzahthefantastic #hamzah imagines #hamzah x reader #hamzah fic #hamzahthefanatasticxreader #hamzahsmut #hamzah angst

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aemondapologistfrfr · 11 months ago

Text

His Princess - Pt4

fancast!bloody ben x targ!fem!reader

Pt 1 Pt2 Pt 3

Summary: Vermithor accepts Ben as his rider and he takes to the skies with Silverwing. Y/n teaches him how to strengthen the bond and basic commands. A confession while Y/n gets into an argument with Baela and Jace.

Warnings: 18+ swearing, oral (m receiving), bathing, fingering, p in v, L word, very short snippet of Jace and Baela in Harrenhal

Authors Note: them riding the bonded dragons together is my roman empire rn, why shouldn’t riding bonded dragons cause a little bit of hot tension between these two?

Word Count: 5.6k

⊹₊⋆☁︎⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆☁︎⋆₊ ⊹ ⊹₊⋆☁︎⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆☁︎⋆₊ ⊹ ⊹₊⋆☁︎⋆⁺₊⋆

I study Ben’s features as I look at him in the early morning light. He’s sleeping so peacefully and I can’t help but think about what will happen shortly. He’s brave and fearless and absolutely fucking reckless and I’m hoping these traits will attract Vermithor. He’s been dwelling in the depths of the pits only emerging for food and Silverwing and just maybe he’ll come out for Ben. I straddle Ben and lean down to his neck.

“Wake up, Ben.” I whisper in his ear as my hair curtains around us. He slowly opens his eyes as they start to focus on me.

“Beautiful,” his voice gravely from sleep as he reaches up to kiss me while his hands travel up my legs on either side of him.

��Serve me,” I murmur softly as I kiss him once more.

“Serve me?” he pulls back breathing heavily.

“Very good, it means serve me.” I hum as I kiss him once more.

“Obey me,” I whisper against his lips.

“Obey me,” he moves his head up as I sit back looking down to him.

“Obey me,” his breath catches at my words.

“Hello, my fearsome Vermithor.” his eyes lock to mine at the familiar greeting.

“Hello, my fearsome Vermithor.” Ben’s voice is steady and strong.

“Hello, my fearsome Vermithor.” I nod my head to him.

He slowly starts to sit up as a smile begins to form across his face. He pulls me down to his lips as I gasp getting lost in him. He releases me and pulls me out of bed quickly. I shake my head at his enthusiasm, but his high energy will serve him well this morning. As we begin to dress I can feel his adrenaline pouring off of him.

We walk out of the castle and pick out plump cows before we begin to walk to the pits on the sands. He goes over the commands with me once again as we walk. On approach I hear Silverwings song coming from the depths. She slowly begins to emerge into the light and walk to me and Ben chirping creating a small sandstorm. Ben walks to her with a smile on his face.

“Hello, my beautiful Silverwing.” he smiles up at her as she pushes against his chest.

A smile spreads across my face at how truly magnificent it is that her and Ben have that connection. I don’t know how I didn’t see the signs earlier and shake my head at my panic last night. The pits begin to thunder as Vermithor reaches his claws out.

“Daughter,” Rhaenyras voice raised in panic as she starts down the walkway with the dragon keepers close on her heel.

“Stay back.” I shake my head raising my hands to them. If this is truly going to work it needs to be just us. He needs to show Vermithor no fear and that he doesn’t need a team of people to help him. I always believed it was the bravery and determination that enticed Silverwing.

Vermithors maw reaches out into the sun as his teeth glisten in its rays. His full head reaches out at his eyes narrow on the cattle. I walk to Ben’s side and grab his hand in mine. Silverwing surrounds us with her legs as Vermithor starts to fully emerge, his claws digging into the sand.

“Daughter, please,” Rhaenyras choked words come across barely audible over Vermithor and Silverwings grumbles and chuffs.

He approaches and towers high above us looking down curiously. Silverwing rises to his height and pushes her snout to his. Vermithor chuffs and turns his head huffing his breath down on us. He backs up and lowers his head to study us as Silverwings jaws rest over him.

“Hello, my fearsome Vermithor.” Ben’s words are laced with wonder and awe as he looks to Vermithor who tilts his head ever so slightly.

“Serve me, obey me,” he turns as his hand slips out of mine as he extends his hands out to Vermithors snout. “And I shall serve and obey you.” he speaks in the common tongue and bows his head.

Vermithor breathes out deeply as he looks to Silverwing before looking back down to Ben and me. His head lowers and he pushes his snout to Ben’s outstretched hands with a low groan. My breath catches as Ben’s head snaps up to Vermithor.

“You honor me, Vermithor.” he breathes out wildly as a smile spreads across his face.

Vermithor shuts his eyes as Ben begins to bravely pat along his neck. I can hear him whispering soft words of how fearsome and handsome he is as he walks around him. Ben comes back around the other side of his body as I stand there in awe. Ben stands back and looks up to him.

“I’ve brought you something, give me a moment.” Ben’s voice laced with adrenaline as he makes his way back to the cattle.

He collects the lead the cattle are tied to as he brings them to Vermithor. He grumbles out as Ben and I step further back as he scorches them. Silverwing stomps around us to feast with him. Once they’re done we walk up to them at a loss for words, I still can’t believe the events unfolding before me.

“Shall we fly?” I look to Ben and then up at the dragons.

“Can we? My fearsome Vermithor?” his eyes light up with excitement.

Vermithor grunts and dips down for Ben to mount. I shake my head as a laugh bubbles out of me in pure amazement. I nod to him as I mount Silverwing. I watch Ben settle into the saddle and secure the clips to him. Ben leans down whispering something to Vermithor. He shakes out his spine as he starts into a run. I watch shocked as I see Vermithor take to the skies for the first time in years.

Silverwing shoots us into the sky after them as she sings a song to Vermithor. He replies with his own grumbles as I see Ben wildly laughing atop him. My heart soars as I see Vermithor push them further and twist around in the sea. Silverwing chases after them and dips us in the water.

They fly wing to wing on the breeze around the island until they land outside the pits and walk us inside. I dismount and turn to watch Ben do the same. He pats Vermithor who grumbles and turns to go rest with Silverwing. Once they’re deep in the pits he turns to me with wide eyes.

“My fearsome Ben.” I smile to him breathlessly as he runs to me.

He pulls me into a feverish kiss and his arms hold me tight. I drink in his adrenaline as we consume each other. Rhaenyra and Daemon clear their throats from the doorway as we pull apart.

“Congratulations,” Rhaenyra shakes her head in disbelief as she looks to both of us.

“You’re actually fucking mad.” Daemon chuckles nodding his head to Ben in approval.

“How was it? How do you feel?” I look to him with adoration holding his face and looking him over.

“It was amazing,” Ben shakes his head. “I feel,” he’s at a loss and I know exactly what’s going through his mind. The power and the connection are still so fresh and coursing through him.

“Go rest off the adrenaline. We can begin lessons later.” she smiles and looks relieved.

“Thank you, Rhaenyra.” Ben lowers his head as his hand grabs mine.

It feels as if there’s pure electricity flowing between us. I pull Ben back up to my chambers and seal the doors behind us. I walk to him as his hands pull me against him. I look up to him in absolute amazement as I offer him a blinding kiss. I pull away breathless before I drop to my knees before him.

“I am in awe of you,” my words barely a whisper as I look up to him. “Benjicot Blackwood. Rider of Vermithor.” adoration dripping off of my tongue as my hands travel up his legs.

“Y/n,” my name sounds like a prayer as he caresses the side of my jaw while he looks down to me with dark eyes.

I reach up and begin to unlace his trousers while blinking up to him. I see his chest rapidly rising and falling as my hand slips below and curls around him. As I free him of his trousers I take in his red, leaking tip. I lick around his tip as my fingers dance around his length. I pull back and slowly lick along the underside from his base back up while keeping eye contact with him.

“Fuck Y/n,” he pants with flushed cheeks.

I swirl my tongue around him and slowly sink my mouth down. Whatever I can’t fit in my mouth I pump with a tight fist. I hear his breath coming out in pants above me as I speed my movements. I bring my other hand up to his balls and his hand tangles itself in my hair.

“Y/n, I’m gunna-” his words are cut off with a groan as I hum around him while pushing him to the back of my throat.

I moan as his hand pulls my hair while his hips shutter and I accept everything he gives me. I slowly move my mouth off of him and offer licks to his over sensitive tip until he pulls me back by my hair. I look up to him blinking innocently while his breathing begins to settle.

I rise up to him and kiss him softly. He grunts as I help him back into his trousers and begin to lace them back up. He pulls back as our breath continues to mingle. He lets out a low chuckle and I tilt my head to him.

“Come, let me fix your hair, my Princess.” he smiles kissing the side of my head before leading me to my vanity.

⊹₊⋆☁︎⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆☁︎⋆₊ ⊹ ⊹₊⋆☁︎⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆☁︎⋆₊ ⊹ ⊹₊⋆☁︎⋆⁺₊⋆

As we enter the library Rhaenyra is sitting at the table looking over old texts. A smile spreads across her face when she notices our approach. We claim seats around the circular table and wait for her word.

“I must admit I’m still in shock.” she shakes her head at a loss. “I would like explain to you what it truly means to be a dragon rider, especially during times of war.” her words become serious and we sit up straighter.

“I’m willing to do whatever is needed.” Ben nods his head.

“I know you are no stranger to battle, but with dragons it’s different. You’ve seen the advantage they offer when they’re on your side.” she nods to me. “But if you find yourself up against another dragon it will be one of the most petrifying moments of your life, if not the last.” her eyes look off as she tries to blink back tears.

My mind drifts to Luke at this line of talk. Arrax was just a baby and Luke just a boy. I understand Jaces motives, but in those first days I was thankful he was away in the North to escape my rage. My hand reaches out to hers and she offers me a sad smile before she solidifies herself and starts again.

“It will never be my want to send dragons to battle other dragons, but as of late it seems my wants are simply that: wants. Y/n will be able to assist you with learning how to control and channel emotions during high tense situations. Vermithor is very formidable and with him at Silverwings side,” she shakes her head. “You both may save us yet.” her eyes look between us.

“We will see you sit the throne.” I nod my head to her, my words a promise.

“I have had books pulled that I think will help offer assistance in learning High Valyrian. I’ve also had them bring out Visenyas old lessons in hopes that they can offer more insight. Y/n is very smart, use her knowledge to your advantage, learn everything you can from her.” she rises from the table and places her hand on Ben’s shoulder. “Thank you, Ben.” she nods her head to him and leaves us to studying.

“So you’re going to be my teacher?” he turns to me licking his lips.

“I hope you’re ready. My lessons are very rigorous.” I hum as I get up to reach across the table to grab a book.

“What do I get if I do well?” his voice low as his hands travel to my backside as I’m bent over the table.

“Benjicot Blackwood.” I scold grabbing his wrist roughly. “You will get nothing if you don’t stay focused.” I hiss as he smiles at my tinted cheeks.

“I feel like you could come up with a more creative punishment.” he whispers into my ear once I claim my seat once more.

I huff and glare at him with a fierce blush. I push a book into his lap and I leave the table to go find him more helpful books and parchments. As return I see that he has actually begun to read the book I gave him and I place more items at his side. I sit across from him and begin to look through what’s before me and begin to jot down important points.

He continues to read for an hour while I write down notes. I peek at him every once in a while as he looks through the scattered parchments around him. His eyes look up and lock with mine before I look away as I feel a blush creep up my neck.

“My love,” his low words caress my ears as my eyes shoot to his.

“My love,” my words barely a whisper.

“My love, when you blush like that it makes it hard for me not to tease you.” My cheeks heat even more to my distress. “Translate it, please.” he smirks to me.

“My love, when you blush like that it makes it hard for me not to tease you.” I look to him for him to repeat it. He doesn’t much to my frustration and I fume. “If you’re done torturing me, I have some notes I’d like to share with you.” I clear my throat as he leans back in his chair smiling to me.

“Of course, my Princess.” he looks over to me his focus attuned to my words and the knowledge I’m bestowing onto him.

“There are many commands that I would prefer to focus on before general speach. Vermithor can feel your intentions and feelings when you speak to him and pat him. I would rather you know what to say when flying than when you’re bringing our dragons food.” I look over my list of important commands and offer it to him.

“I can keep this?” he asks while scanning over the list.

“Yes, of course. Although, I should hope you would remember them and not pull out a piece of parchment mid flight.” A smirk plays on my lips.

“I shall study dutifully, but I can multitask if needed.” he folds the piece of paper slipping it into his pocket with a sly smile.

“Another important piece of information to keep in mind is that your emotions are deeply connected and not just when you’re flying together. Over time you’ll be able to feel it more intensely as you build trust and boundaries. A dragon is not a horse and will not tolerate being treated as one. Vermithor chose you and you must rise to the title he has appointed you.” I study him as he absorbs and listens to every word I speak.

“I shall be the rider he sees me as.” He nods his head and I can feel the confidence pouring off of him from across the table.

“You’ve become one of the most powerful men in the realm today.” I stroke his growing ego because the look suits him.

“I am yours first.” his words float around my heart.

⊹₊⋆☁︎⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆☁︎⋆₊ ⊹ ⊹₊⋆☁︎⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆☁︎⋆₊ ⊹ ⊹₊⋆☁︎⋆⁺₊⋆

Over the last fortnight Ben has learned an astonishing amount. He has his commands committed to memory and begun to focus on learning the language now. We take our dragons out flying everyday along the coasts and float on the breeze around the stoney island in the moonlight.

Tonight we flew for hours under the stars as our dragons sang to each other. As our boots touch the sand Ben twirls me into the moonlight. We dance together using the waves as our music. He holds me tightly as we continue to sway.

“You look the most divine in the moonlight.” Ben extends his arms so he can look me over.

We stroll into the castle he grabs my hand with his. I’ve been so happy and free lately that it’s hard for me to face the reality that Ben and I are going to be sent back to Harrenhal in the morning. Rhaenyra thinks it’ll be best to send us further from the Crownlands so they don’t see we’ve gained a new rider.

“Thank the Gods,” I sigh as I see my bath still streaming.

I begin stripping off my gear as Ben follows chuckling. He helps me remove the rest of my clothing before helping me dip into the bath. He pulls up a stool next to the tub to keep me company and offers me soaps and oils. He lathers soap into a cloth and offers it to me. I smile as I hold my arm and look to him.

He chuckles grabbing my arm and begins to clean me. His rough hands scrape against my skin as he tries to keep his touch light. He outstretches his hand for my other arm and I happily raise it for him. He moves around the bath and continues to clean. His hands dip into the bath to clean my legs as I look to him with heavy lids.

Every time he trails the cloth up my thigh his fingers trail along my slit. I try to control my breathing and he starts on my next leg. I spread my legs as he chuckles lowly. His fingers linger on my core before he pulls them away again.

“Ben,” I whine frustrated.

“Yes, my Princess?” I whimper at his High Valyrian and his teasing fingers that continue on my legs.

“I need you,” I look to him with pleading eyes.

“I’m right here.” he chuckles as he pulls the cloth out of the water discarding it.

“You know what I mean,” I roll my eyes at his smirk.

“Mm, enlighten me.” he licks his lips.

I push him back with a wet hand and he topples off of the stool to the ground in a fit of laughter. I rise from the bath and find a towel and begin to dry myself off as he continues to giggle from the ground. I wrap the towel around myself and look down to him before he pulls himself up to tower above me.

He kisses my furrowed brow as I continue to glare at him. He chuckles lowly as he begins to pepper kisses across my face trying to get a reaction out of me. One of his hands lands on my back and pulls me against him.

“How long are you going to pout at me?” He kisses the side of my mouth before he starts to kiss my neck while it takes all my strength not to melt into his touch.

His hand on my back scrunches the towel in his fist and pulls it from my body. I shiver at the breeze and lean into his warmth. I feel him smile against my neck as his tongue dances along my pulse. His other hand makes its way to my wetness and I bite down on my lip not wanting to give him the satisfaction. His fingers swirl around my clit causing me to shutter.

“How does that feel?” he slowly pumps a finger into me as a whimper falls from my lips as I internally groan. “Yeah, does it feel good?” he purrs as his thumb circles my clit.

My hands fly to his arms and dig in for support. I rest my forehead against his chest as he adds another finger. He continues to slowly pump them into me as I breathe heavily. A moan falls from my mouth as he curls his fingers. I focus on my breathing until he starts roughly pounding his fingers into me.

“Fuck Ben, please,” I sob into his chest giving in. Whimpers fall from my mouth as my nails dig into his arms as his fingers continue. My hips grind against his hand seeking pleasure.

“Ben,” his name slips from my mouth as my thighs squeeze around his hand as pleasure flows through me. My breathing settles as my thighs spread to release his hand.

I look up to him and his lips smother mine. His tongue pushes its way into my mouth to slide against mine. My hands begin pulling off his clothes and he brings his own hands to help speed along the process. He pushes me softly back onto the bed and settles between my legs. He grinds against my wetness before sliding in.

He slowly pulls out and looks down to my squirming body. He dips back into me pulling a whine from my lips. My legs hook around his waist hoping he’ll start moving. I start to jerk my hips trying to get my own friction.

“Gods look at you,” he growls as he watches me with dark eyes.

His movements are quick as he flips us while staying inside. He helps me adjust my position so my knees are on the bed and I begin to ride him. His fingers dig into my hips as I grind and bounce against him. I toss my head back as my hands fly to my breasts and tease my nipples.

“You’re perfect,” he groans before he attaches his thumb to my clit.

A moan rips through me as my hips grind into his faster as I use him for my pleasure. His thumb quickens its ministrations and I explode around him. My hips shutter as he removes his thumb and brings it back to my waist. I lean down and capture his lips with mine as he begins to thrust up into me. I whine against his mouth as I clench around him.

“You always feel so good, my Princess.” he murmurs against my lips as he begins to chase his own pleasure. I burry my head in his neck as my hips move to meet his as pleasure begins tearing through me again. His hips falter as he settles inside of me with my name on his lips.

I roll off of him and cuddle into his side. He turns his head and kisses me tenderly. I sigh into his mouth as I get caught up in him once more. He pulls back chuckling and pulls the blankets over us.

“Rest, we have an early morning.” he kisses my forehead as I close my eyes.

⊹₊⋆☁︎⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆☁︎⋆₊ ⊹ ⊹₊⋆☁︎⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆☁︎⋆₊ ⊹ ⊹₊⋆☁︎⋆⁺₊⋆

Harrenhal Pov:

The Lords get jittery as the end of the week approaches as their proper commanders are due to return with news. Jace and Baela have been able to work alongside these Lords and their men. The host works seamlessly together and had no issue integrating Baela and Jace into their everyday routine.

“How do you think Y/n will be when they arrive tomorrow?” Jace bites his lip looking to Baela.

“I think you’ll be lucky if she doesn’t pull her sword on you.” Baela chuckles as she continues to pack her bag.

“Well he lived so I don’t see what the big issue is.” Jace sighs as he claims a chair by the window.

“Oh she’ll tell you the big issue.” Baela shakes her head at him.

“I’m actually quite excited to see Vermithor in all his glory. He’s fucking mad for even attempting to claim a dragon.” Jace tries to think of the last time he’s even laid eyes upon Vermithor.

“I can see why Y/n chose him.” Baela hums tossing her bag by the door.

“Can you?” Jaces tone playful as he raises his eyebrow at her.

“You think our sister wouldn’t want the man who is known as Bloody Ben? Who is crazy enough to ride on Silverwing? The man who has now claimed Vermithor? I wouldn’t be surprised if they came back married.” she surmises before tucking her self into bed.

“Mother would never allow it without us there.” he carries himself to the bed and pulls Baela against him.

“You truly think they would ask mother?” Baela giggles resting her head on his chest.

⊹₊⋆☁︎⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆☁︎⋆₊ ⊹ ⊹₊⋆☁︎⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆☁︎⋆₊ ⊹ ⊹₊⋆☁︎⋆⁺₊⋆

Y/n pov:

Silverwing glides along the clouds as I coast my fingers through them. Ben and Vermithor fly below us always watching out for potential hosts. We were lucky not to encounter anyone on the way back to Dragonstone and I’m hoping we have the same luck this early in the morning.

I sigh in relief as the towers of Harrenhal come into view. Silverwing lands by Moondancer and Vermax while Vermithor circles the castle offering a low song. The towers crumble at the reverberations and he dips and thuds on the ground next to Silverwing. I look over to Ben who gives me a wicked grin. We both dismount and lug our bags with us.

“How was the flight?” I walk up to him as Silverwing and Vermithor brush each other’s snouts affectionately.

“Thrilling.” he looks down to me and offers me a soft kiss.

“Y/n!” I hear Jaces voice behind me.

“You can come save him in one minute.” I whisper against Ben’s mouth as he looks at me curiously before I turn on my heel.

I walk up to Jace and punch him in his face. I bring my other fist up but before I can land my second blow Ben pulls me back. I glare at Jace who is now cupping his face and I look to Baela wounded.

“How dare you both?” my words laced with hurt. “You could so easily lie to my face? You can see how deeply I care for him and you would so quickly have me fly him into a dragons mouth?” I look to them waiting for their answer.

“We couldn’t risk you running away with him. Not when we need you, sister.” Baela words are soft as she looks to me.

“A warning would’ve been nice. Even a hint. Not just oh mother wants to know how the host is and she wants to meet Ben.” I narrow my eyes at her and Jace.

“Well he’s obviously fine,” Jace drawls wincing as he touches his nose.

“He’s fine!” I tilt my head back and laugh. Ben is still holding on to my arm firmly still not trusting my temper. “Let me not forget that mother told me this was your idea.” anger radiates off of me.

“Daemon suggested Ben.” Baela interrupts trying to alleviate some of my anger directed at Jace.

“Another piece of information I was denied,” I shake my head at a loss. “We are not pawns you can move about a board. Give us the respect we deserve. We raised this host. We have been holding this castle for mother.” my voice rising with each word.

“We do respect you and care for you deeply.” Baelas eyes search mine.

“Then show it. Do not keep things from me that could put the man I love within The Strangers grasp.” Ben’s hand tightens around my arm and pulls me around towards him.

“Do you mean that?” Ben looks down to me.

“Ben one min-“ I go to turn back to my siblings.

“No, no,” he turns me back to him pulling my chin to look at him. “Do you love me?” my eyes lock onto his as I finally realize my words.

“I do,” I whisper as my cheeks redden.

“Make up with your siblings and send them on their way.” the promise of what comes after is laced through his words that he whispers to me. I turn to look to Baela and Jace who are smiling at me.

“I will hear your apology. Make it quick.” I purse my lips and Ben’s hand squeezes mine at my tone.

“I’m sorry my perfect and amazing sister. I’m sorry I made the man you love claim one of the best dragons.” I roll my eyes at his words and turn to Baela.

“I’m sorry we’re still lingering when I can tell you two would like to get to,” she clears her throat. “more pressing matters.” Jaces chuckles with her.

“Apologies accepted.” I nod my head. “I saw no hosts or dragons on the way here so you both should have safe travels home.”

They smile to me and come hug me as I groan. Jace shakes Ben’s hand and congratulates him. They offer us waves as their dragons chuff before shooting them into the sky.

“So you love me?” Ben looks down to me smiling widely.

“Do you love me?” I look up to him.

“I don’t know, I mean, I thought we were pretty casual.” my nostrils flare at his taunting words as he continues to smile at me.

“Benjicot,” I warn through my teeth.

“I have loved you for a while now,” pulls me to him shushing me.

“Well say it then.” I look up to him expectantly.

“I love you.” his eyes search mine.

I grab his hand and pull him after me back into the gates. As we try to rush through the main hall the Lords stop us and welcome us back. The energy between us is crackling and I have no idea how the Lords can’t see or feel it.

“Why is there another dragon here?” one of the Lords towards the back asks.

“I’ve claimed him.” Ben says looking to all of the Lords.

“You?” hushed murmurs spread throughout the hall.

“Yes, now if you’ll excuse us. We’ve had a long flight and would like to rest. We will have a meeting later.” He dismisses the Lords and pulls us up the steps to our chambers.

He seals the doors and stalks over to me. We pull each other’s clothes off in a rush, backing up in hopes of landing on the bed. A loud groan cuts through me as he walks me back into a table.

“Ow,” I whine clutching on to him.

“I’m sorry,” he breathes out kissing me once more.

He lifts me up into the lip of the table and thrusts into me a moment later. The table groans against his rough pace as I whimper clinging to him. His lips kiss and bite across my neck as I toss my head back.

“I don’t know what it is,” Ben grunts as his hips continue to snap into mine.

“What?” the word is followed by a loud moan.

“All I want to do is fuck you, it’s all I think about lately.” he pants as his fingers dig into my hips.

I come undone at his words as I cry out his name. He continues to pound into me as my back thuds against the table. He reaches down to pinch my nipples. My hands rest over his wrists as he continues to pull and twist. My legs begin to shake around him as I explode feeling him fill me.

“Ben,” I whine pulling him down to me. I keep him against me as our breathing settles. When we finally pull apart we walk back to the bed with flushed cheeks.

“I know what you mean about what you said earlier.” my voice hushed as he crawls into bed after me.

“What?” he looks to me curiously.

“I think of you all day, like more than normal.” I feel my cheeks flush.

“Mm, what is the normal amount of times to think about me between your thighs?” he smirks.

“I’m sure it’s not every time I’m around you. I feel like it could have something to do with our dragons being so closely bonded as we are. I should send word to my mother to see if she can send books,” I ramble as he begins to chuckle.

“And tell her what? That you think about me fucking you too much?” he shakes his head laughing as his hands slide against my thigh.

“Ben,” I warn but it comes out more breathy.

“Really? That fast?” he teases me, continuing to ghost his fingers on my bare leg.

⊹₊⋆☁︎⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆☁︎⋆₊ ⊹ ⊹₊⋆☁︎⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆☁︎⋆₊ ⊹ ⊹₊⋆☁︎⋆⁺₊⋆

masterlist 🔌

when this was supposed to be a one shot and now i’m sad at the thought of even finishing this fic 🥲

Part 5

#ben blackwood x reader #benjicot blackwood smut #benji blackwood #benjicot x reader #benjicot blackwood #benjicot blackwood x reader #fancast bloody ben #bloody ben hotd #bloody ben smut #bloody ben x reader #hotd x reader #x reader imagine #x reader smut #hotd smut #hotd fanfic #bloody ben fluff

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