#Restoring a camera
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Alpa Rotocamera 6070
As I've mentioned in previous blog posts, I am fond of panoramic cameras and the odd and unusual cameras that most people wouldn't guess are cameras, so I always have my eyes open for these oddball items to add to my collection. The Alpa Rotocamera is just one of these items. Not only is it an odd-looking item that resembles a miniature robot-looking item, but it's also a 360-degree panoramic camera that shoots on 120 or 70-mm film.
 I've owned lenses that shoot 360-degree images and have even written posts on them. The first lens I had that shot 360-degree images was a Be Here Portal S1 lens, which fit onto my Nikon DSLR camera, and with software, it produced a tremendous 360-degree photo. That lens got damaged, and to this day, I'm continually searching for another one of these lenses. In my mind, I kept telling myself that there's something different between shooting with a 360-degree lens and having a camera that can produce a 360-degree negative.
 I found an Alpa Rotocamera on an online auction. When I saw it shot 360-degree images on 120 or 70mm film, I was immediately hooked and wanted to get it. Not knowing much about the camera other than a few tidbits I quickly found online, I bid on the camera lot. To my surprise, I won the camera. I was excited to get the camera and load film into it and start to make some tremendous images that were a view that is mind-boggling when you see them.
 This blog will be different from my other posts because I've spent tens of hours on this specific camera because of its condition. I want to give you a brief overview of the camera, then explain how I received it and what I've done to get it back into working condition.
The Camera:
This camera is a Beast!!!! I didn't realize until I received it, but the camera and film back weigh just under 17 lbs. and are 16 lbs. 15.6 oz. That does not include the power source and cables. Itâs built from cast metal with a pebble finish and, itâs 12â tall, 9â wide, and 8â deep and was built in the early 1980s.
 As mentioned, the Alpa RotoCamera produces a 360-degree image on either 120/220 or 70mm film. The camera is powered by a 12v rechargeable battery that powers motors in the camera's base, which rotate the head around a cylinder. According to the manual, you can produce either 90, 180, 270 or 360-degree views with the camera. On the front of the camera is a Rodenstock Grandagon-N 75mm f6.8 lens. Just to the right of the front lens is a lever used for vertical adjustment. If you want to shoot higher or lower, you can slide the lever up or down to adjust the vertical height to avoid getting too much foreground in the photos. There is also a viewer on the side that can be used to see the camera's vertical adjustment.
 The camera has two speeds, and the head rotates around the cylinder. The speed is set on the center column by a switch with an "A" for the faster speeds and "B" for the slower speeds. There also are a series of slits in the head that allows for the camera to shoot at different shutter speeds depending on the motor speed and slit width. Switches on the top of the camera head control the slits. One series of switches is for the slit width, and there is another that allows for the slit angle if you're in a situation where you'll want to control excessive brightness in the sky or ground. The camera can shoot anywhere from 1/20 to 1/250 shutter speed depending on the motor speed and slit width. On the rear of the film's back is a chart showing where to put the different switches should you want faster or slower speeds, along with a controlling light on top or bottom.
 The camera also has a removable film back, and 70mm or 120/220 film can be loaded into it. There is a small hard wheel just below the take-up spool on the film back, which is connected to the film advance cog and fits into the film reel. Just below the slits on the head is a rubber band that goes all around the cylinder. As the head rotates around the cylinder, the hard wheel runs along the rubber under the slit advancing the film as the head spins around the cylinder.
There are two settings on the camera remote control. One is a switch for "Auto" or "Manual," and the other setting is "Rotation." The Auto setting works in conjunction with the angle set on the column for 90, 180, 270, or 360 pans. The manual setting allows you to press as long as you want the camera to pan for. The "rotate" button is pressed to open the shutter and start the camera rotation. The remote and power cable are joined; one end fits into the power pack, and the other fits into the bottom of the camera's center column. There is also an on/off switch for the camera close to where the power and remote cable fit into the camera.
 In theory, you load film into the film back, making sure the take-up spool is engaged into the drive gear on the back. Put the back onto the camera. Plug the cables into the power supply and the camera. Turn the camera on, set the aperture on the lens, and check the height adjustment. Meter your scene, then set the appropriate shutter combination by the series of switches on top of the camera and the speed adjustment on the column. Set the rotation distance, and press "Auto" to start the camera rotation. According to the manual, on a roll of 120 film, you'll get 1- 360-degree or 270-degree images, 2-180-degree images or 4-90-degree images.
The Restoration:
The one thing I didn't realize and wasn't shown in the images at the online auction was the mechanical and physical condition of the Alpa Rotocamera internally because when I received the camera, it wasn't in "good working order." On the outside, the camera looked good. Everything seemed to be there, but when I went to take the back off the camera to view the inside of the camera body, the wheels came off the bus. My heart sank as the excitement of having a working camera came to a crashing halt. Â
 The film back still had two 70mm film cassettes inside, but it looked like someone had packed the back of the camera with grease. For what reason, I wasn't immediately aware of it, and the rubber wheel that the film rotates on to advance the film had deteriorated into a yellow mass of goop that looked worse than it was. Another item that was missing was the power supply for the camera. I had the cables for the power supply that led to the camera and the remote control on it. I also had the instruction manual along with a car inverter to charge the battery when in your car. Still, there was no power supply, so I couldn't check whether the camera operated.
I let the camera sit for a few hours as I started thinking about how to get the camera into a somewhat presentable condition. My mind wasn't even on getting the camera, but on starting to clean up all the goop that was not only in visible areas but in areas of the camera I wasn't even sure I could get to. I did another more exhausting internet search when I came across someone who had done a restoration on the camera itself. Bayless Projects has a tremendous video on YouTube that is very comprehensive. He lives in London, so I started an email chain with him, letting him know I, too, had a camera I needed to restore. He helped me with the power supply and with many other questions I had about the camera.
 It was time to get the camera back in (hopefully) working condition. I spent the next couple of days cleaning up the goop on the film back, which got into places I needed to disassemble to clean out. With many Q-tips, Isopropyl alcohol, and lightly soapy water, I cleaned the film back up nicely. The film holders moved well, and the film drive gear turned as I rotated the hard wheel, which wasn't moving smoothly previously.Â
 Now, to move onto the camera head. I removed some of the stickers that someone placed with film data from the previous owner. Something was rattling in the head, so I needed to take the top off to see what was rattling around. Once I removed the top, I could see a ground glass still intact and not broken that went where the viewer went. This was used to check the vertical adjustment for the images. Once I got the ground glass in place, it was time to tackle the back of the camera, which had the remnants of the previous rubber band that goes around the cylinder. Luckily, this came off very easily, and I didn't need much cleaning.
Now, to move onto the camera head. I removed some of the stickers that someone placed with film data from the previous owner. Something was rattling in the head, so I needed to take the top off to see what was rattling around. Once I removed the top, I could see a ground glass still intact and not broken that went where the viewer went. This was used to check the vertical adjustment for the images. Once I got the ground glass in place, it was time to tackle the back of the camera, which had the remnants of the previous rubber band that goes around the cylinder. Luckily, this came off very easily, and I didn't need much cleaning.
 Thomas (Bayless Projects) helped me with the power supply, which I purchased from him, and he made it for me and sent it over from the UK. I bought a battery to put in the housing. Once I got the battery in the power supply and connected it to see if the camera was working, my heart sank agingâŚ..nothing. With the power on and the battery connected, I turned the head a bit, and luckily, the head on the Rotocamera started to spin. At that point, I was so happy to see the camera spinning. Was that a fluke? I unplugged the battery and let it sit for a few minutes before I tried it again. The camera started to spin without any help from me, so at this point, I knew the camera was functional. You could also hear the shutter open and close as I pressed the rotation button. What a relief. Now, I had a camera that "could" make images (hopefully). The one thing I couldn't figure out was the "Auto" setting. Nothing in the column needs to be pressed to set the camera at different angles for shooting. Thomas said his camera does the same thing, so I can only use the camera in the "manual" position, where I set the angle of view by pressing the rotation button.
 I needed to replace the rubber band around the cylinder to get the film to rotate when the film was back on the camera. I purchased a replacement that had the same specs that Thomas recommended. He also said it's not perfect, but I wanted to try it. When I received the rubber, it was horrible. The glue backing didn't hold at all. It was so bad that the paper they put on the product to protect the glue didn't stick on. It was also rolled in the opposite direction, so the end of the rubber kept popping out. I tried two-sided tape to hold it in, but that didn't work either.
 Then, I had the idea to turn the rubber around so the curve was going around the cylinder instead of against it. The tape on the back side of the rubber would give more friction as the film wheel rotated. I put a roll of film into the camera and gave the camera a try. Unfortunately, the camera rotated about 90-100 degrees, then stopped as one of the ends of the rubber came off and jammed in the camera. In theory, it made sense, but the rubber was too thick, and the end didn't fit together and kept coming apart.Â
 The rubber needed to be a little thinner and without the crappy glue. I rubbed the glue off the rubber, and to get it to be a bit thinner, I stretched the rubber when I put the two-sided tape on the curved side to make it thinner. To keep the ends together, I added some two-sided tape to one side of the rubber so that when it went around the cylinder. There was extra tape to hold the second end in place. I put it back into the cylinder, and it worked well. It's time to put another roll of film into the camera for another test.
 I took the camera to the front of my house, set up the tripod, and crossed my fingers to see if it would work. I put a roll of B&W film into the back, set the camera to the settings the light meter said, and pressed the rotate button. The camera worked!!!! I could hear the shutter open, the camera rotated, and the film come off the spool and wrap around the take-up spool. SUCCESS.
 With such success on the test roll, I decided to take the camera into Portland near the river with bridges and see what I could get there. Knowing the Cherry trees were recently blooming, I even packed some color film to see the river's edge and beautiful cherry blossoms in the photo. Having lugged the camera to the river's edge, setting the camera up, plugging in the power supply, and pressing the rotation button, I could hear the shutter open, but the head didn't start to turn. So I gave it a gentle push, and it began to turn. Unfortunately, I could also see it wasn't moving smoothly, which would cause banding.Â
 The one thing I did notice is that when you have the film in the back of the camera, the camera has a little harder time doing the rotation because of the extra tension the film brings to the camera. Pulling the film out of the spool and running it across the shutter, I'm still trying to figure out if it's the rubber around the cylinder or the power to the motor. I'll continually work on how this works together to make the film move correctly.
 The first roll was B&W, which I processed when I got home and has banding. I also picked up the color film and noticed. At the same time, the camera did a somewhat better job at rotating; the drive wheel that moves the film from one spool to the other didn't have as much pull as it did with the test in front of my house. For the 2-3 rolls I did away from home, the camera film transport didn't pull the film off the spool. It left the tail end of the film exposed to light. Something is going on here, whether the rubber band around the cylinder or the drive wheel needs lubrication. I also agree with the film I did on location; portions of the film look like motion blur, so the film is not transporting, causing slight banding and blur.
My Results:
Here is the image taken in front of my house during the test. I didn't change the vertical adjustment, and I had the lens pretty high, so there's no foreground or yards in the houses on my block.
 These next images were taken down by the river in Portland, Or.
Conclusion:
 This camera is still a work in progress. I did order a slightly thinner rubber to try on the cylinder, so I'm crossing my fingers that it will work well on the camera.
Thank you for taking a few minutes from your day to read about an odd and unusual camera that hopefully will be as rewarding in the images it creates as it is frustrating to get it back in good working order.
 Until next week, please be safe.
#Alpa#Alpa camera#Swiss camera#camera from Switzerland#Precision camera#Rotating camera#panoramic#panoramic camera#panoramic photo#120 film#Film#film#film cassettes#film back#70mm film#Rodenstock#Rodenstock lens#360 degree camera#Unusual camera#odd camera#Alpa Rotocamera#120 camera#120 film camera#Heavy camera#motorized camera#Camera restoration#Restoring a camera#Restoring an Alpa#Bayless projects
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if you generate a fake photo and then take a shitty photo of the photo on a screen everyone will focus on it being a shitty photo instead of the fact that it's fake. like the trojan hores
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YâALL LOOK AT MY VIPERINE TRANSFORMATION!!!! just finished her tonight!đđŤŁđđ
I found her in an antique store about a month ago looking rather worse for wear and now she has been brought back from the (un)dead!!!
this was also my first time curling doll hair so yay!!!
how did i do pookies? ;)
#monster high gen 1#monster high restoration#monster high g1#monster high dolls#monster high#monster high g3#monster high movies#mh#mh custom#ever after high#viperine gorgon#pink#pink aesthetic#fashion dolls#dolls#barbie#doll collector#doll restoration#doll hair#hairstyle#curly hair#frights camera action#honey swamp#elissabat#draculaura#clawdeen wolf#frankie stein#vintage#aesthetic#2000s toys
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hello grick fandom, please accept this, my first drawing in about 8 years

#the background is purble but you can't really tell. alas.#technically i drew a bad horse for a joke in 2022 but the last sketch before that (and the last one i tried on) was 2016#i've been using the same cheap strathmore sketchbook i've had since 2010 bc i so rarely use it#but these guys wormed their way into my brain and i had to capture them!#ghost trick#personal#this took like 6 hours đ. my hand and neck/shoulders are big mad#i drew this with mechanical pencil and crayolas as god intended#my phone camera absolutely ate the skintones and background color and no amount of futzing around in the gallery could restore it
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my favorite genre of youtuber really has to be 'person who is super knowledgeable in their field and loves talking about it'
#shout out to this guy I found today who does the absolute best low effort paint diagrams to explain geology#and looks like literally any slightly nerdy guy I ever met in appalachia#there's just something very very faith in humanity restoring#about someone who so obviously loves their field of work/research and wants to share it with the world#and just decides to yap at their camera about it#getting sappy about people again don't mind me#i love people#even when I'm actively avoiding social interaction#skog speaks
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Dean Lane station on the now closed Oldham Loop line
January 2008
#as far as early digital camera limitations go#this picture had them all#blown out shadows and contrast#motion blur#low light grain and fuzz#red overtones#I have restored it to what it perhaps looked like in real time#with someee pixelly distortion left in for that nostalgic feel#liminal#liminal space#2008#emptycore#empty places#weirdcore#nostalgiacore#lostcore
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at the new place!
#p#ts2#sims 2#sav: bloom valley#y03aut#f: kimchi#for some reason i couldn't move leon's restored car to their inventory so new one it is#florian aged up off camera im so sorry
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my number 1 flaw is that im incessantly collecting tiny little trinkets....
#so crow coded forreal.. the rest of my room is Also just many trinkets piled up everywhere & books & such.#anyway... whenever i find my camera i should do a jewelry tour. i love my tiny little articulatable silver fish & my bronze bracelet#with scenes from don quixote in relief & the tiny velveteen rabbit pendant & the little pin with a teapot and cup and chain connecting the#two... anyway. got an adorable jewelry box half off at the thrift store the other day n im restoring my sanity by sitting here peacefully#listening 2 parachutes on my cd player organizing things in it <3#txt
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having a great time (my computer decided to do some fucky wucky stuff and deleted a ton of files off my desktop that are now apparently completely unsalvageable)
#All of my clangen saves are gone â¤ď¸ as are all the word documents that were with them â¤ď¸#And a bunch of other stuff disappeared that I donât even know. And I have no way to find out#because it doesnât show up in the recycle bin.#I am BEYOND fucking lucky that fwct didnât get deleted#I think I would die. â¤ď¸ like thatâd be it for me#I tried to restore to an earlier time and none of the files came back so. Great đawesome#Iâm looking into the camera with a dead eyed stare#clamtalk
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#original photographer#original photography#original photo#photographers on tumblr#original photography on tumblr#fujifilm camera#fuji camera#fuji xs10#fujifilm xs10#digital camera#digital photography#auto vivitar 28mm#vivitar lens#m42 lens#28mm lens#building#building construction#city#urban#urban decay#building restoration
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crying sobbing throwing up looking at the digit autospy photos (which are real and exist) because i cannot parse out how to properly translate his wires as hair
#context: there was a restoration done on (one of) his puppet and the Before pictures are foul & evil#there's one without his head looking into his chest cavity#and there's one with JUST his head. staring straight into the camera! with his half-rotted eyeballs.
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Ensign Ful-Vue II: The Restoration
So last month I got this quirky little 1950âs British made camera in a charity shop. An Ensign Ful-Vue II. A medium format camera which was a pseudo-TLR which worked more like a box camera as it had both a fixed aperture (f11) and a fixed shutter speed (1/30th).

It had seen better days as it had dirt and paint chips all over, the shutter release lever occasionally stuck after actuating the mechanism, the strap had pretty much had it and the lock/unlock knob for opening it had lost its cap. But surprisingly for its age the optical elements were only a touch dusty, and after a quick wipe were extremely clear and bright. Considering the condition of the glass and the fact it took 120 film (very much still readily available) I decided to try and get this camera looking as good as possible.
First step was to strip it down and mask up any areas I didnât want paint getting to. This camera is really quite basic in design, so I had the whole thing stripped down with 3 screws and 1 clip removed.

When masking up the film caddy part, I took extra care to make sure this original advertisement sticker didnât get damaged.

I decided that to get the best finish, removal of the old paint would probably be best. I initially tried removing it using wire brush tools that came with my rotary tool, and although it was removing the paint it was burning through the brushes too fast. 5 brushes dead and all that was done was 60% of one side. An upgrade was needed.

I started treating the surface with isopropyl alcohol then attacking it with a much bigger brush that could handle higher RPMs without losing its bristles. What took 20 mins with the rotary tool was 5 mins with the drill/brush combo. Progress!

I briefly reassembled the camera at this stage to see how it looked. I was tempted to polish up the metal really well at this point and either have it unpainted or some sort of two-tone effect, but decided to try and keep it original as possible as per the initial plan. I disassembled it again and cracked open the can of matte black spray paint.

Whilst waiting for the spray paint to dry, I dealt with that sticking shutter release lever. I oiled the mechanism using a cotton bud and some oil. I didnât want to put too much on in case it flicked onto the glass elements during use. That said, unlike other cameras I owned I could at least strip this down easily and clean it off if it did.
With the mechanism working more smoothly than it has done in decades, all that was left was to clean the glass elements.

The moment of truth. The removal of masking tape and reassembly. And I must say Iâm very happy with the results. The finish on one side isnât perfect and it seems Iâd scratched the paint ever so slightly when moving the pieces after spraying, but even with these minor points it looks so so much better.



All thatâs left to do now is source a new strap and to see if I can fabricate a new cap for the lock/unlock knob.
#vintage cameras#vintage#restoration#120 film#medium format#fulvue2#film photography#analog photography#old camera#repair
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senpai advertising a streamlined fobafimi mattress! ;)
#robert wadlow#robert wadlow trash#i found this in 2018 but decided to restore the full pic#a lot of camera distortion! :o#it's neat seeing him advertise something other than shoes!#even though the mattress seems a bit too small for him! ;)
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the complete knock â bob reynolds



⢠synopsis. youâre only here to try and understand why buckyâs suddenly gone off the rails and joined a new team, leaving you, sam and joaquĂn in radio silence. the last thing you expected was to find comfort in a stranger. a kind stranger named bob.
⢠contains. spoilers for thunderbolts*, takes place during the 14 month later period. nothing too crazy, mostly plot. reader is described as female. bob is a cutie!! reader and joaquĂn are sambucky children of divorce :(
⢠wc: 9.7k+
⢠authorâs note. wrote this with a vague idea and a dream. i don't know. don't ask pls.
You were here strictly for business.
The lobby was all polished glass, military-grade charm, and propaganda dressed in gold. Cameras flashed like fireworks along the crimson carpet, catching every inch of shine from designer suits and sharp smiles. A towering digital screen looped the promo again: "The New Avengers: Built for Tomorrow." You watched from the fringe as the montage played, the images slicing together in quick successionâJohn Walker throwing the shield with over-practised precision, Yelena Belova dismantling a room of dummies in under twelve seconds, and Ava Starr phasing through a concrete wall with a smirk. Hero shots. Sanitized. Manufactured. All of them.
You didnât blink as you were ushered to an elevator.
Growing up, the Avengers Tower never really felt real to you. Sure, youâd seen the photos, the documentaries, the endless footage of press conferences held on its front steps. Hell, youâd even walked past it with your parents whenever you visited New Yorkâbut it still felt like it belonged to another world entirely. Untouchable. Almost mythic.
You never imagined youâd walk inside.
And yet now, riding the elevator up with a slow-climbing hum and nerves that prickled beneath your skin, all you felt was dread.
It was a strange kind of emptinessâthe feeling of finally reaching something you once admired, only to realize it had been gutted and repainted in someone elseâs image. The marble floors had been waxed clean, but the history here wasnât. You could still feel the ghosts under the polish. Somewhere between the seams of the rebuilt walls and reprogrammed elevators, there was once a legacy. Real one. But it didnât belong to the people in charge of this event.
You were crammed in with a handful of Congress members and defence contractors, all of whom smelled like cologne and quiet greed. Congressman Gary was there too, smiling too much, already half-drunk from the limo ride there. (He said it would be the only way heâd survive an entire night listening to people praise Valentina Allegra de Fontaine). Gary had been the one to suggest your attendance might smooth things over. It might make the New Avengers feel like someone from Samâs camp was willing to listen. Get on their good sideâthat whole thing.
But you were here for an entirely different reason. His invitation was exactly what you needed to get in, though.
Underneath your gownâsleek, formal, and designed to draw no conclusionsâyou had a mic stitched into the seam of your strapless bodice. Hidden, but live. Your earpiece buzzed softly with JoaquĂnâs voice, casual as ever.
âIf Sam finds out weâre doing this, weâre so dead.â
You bit the inside of your cheek, trying not to be overheard as the elevator operator gave a rehearsed speech about the towerâs restorationâhow it stood now as a symbol of âunity, rebirth, and strength.â You resisted the urge to roll your eyes. The tower didnât feel like a symbol. It felt like a stage.
âHeâll take away your wings at most,â you murmured, gaze fixed forward. âRelax.â
You could practically hear JoaquĂn pouting through the comms.
âI just got them back.â
âThen letâs not make a scene. Gary said itâd be good optics to have someone on our side here. Weâre doing Sam a favour.â A pause. Then, quieter: âIâm surprised you didnât want to come with me. Youâre cleared for field work.â
âNo, thanks. As much as I adore red carpet politics, I donât think I can be in the same room as de Fontaine without committing a felony. Might get myself in trouble.â
âAnd I wonât?â
âYouâre better at smiling.â
âYouâve never seen me smile.â
âExactly.â
You exhaled through your nose, the tiniest edge of a grin forming before you could stop it.
âJust... try not to piss anyone off for five minutes, yeah?â
You didnât answer. The elevator chimed. The doors slid open with a muted ding, and you stepped into a wall of flashing lights and artificial warmth.
The event space had been reconstructed on the upper floors, a showroom designed to impress donors and government officials alike. White marble floors stretched endlessly beneath towering banners that hung from the ceilings like monuments. Each one bore the new emblem of the teamâsleek and stylized, but hollow. You could see the press eating it up already.
A digital display behind the podium read:
WELCOME TO THE FUTURE.
MEET EARTHâS NEWEST MIGHTIEST HEROES.
Your stomach turned.
âYou still with me?â JoaquĂn asked.
âYeah.â You nodded once, moving deeper into the room as your eyes scanned the crowd for familiar faces. âIâm here.â
âIâm gonna need camera access,â he said. âThereâs a chip tucked under the gem on your bracelet. If you can slide that into an outlet somewhere, Iâll be able to map out the floorâs electrical system. Should help me locate the control room.â
âGuy in the chair,â you muttered, lips twitching into a faint grin. It was impressiveâhis gadgets, his confidence. Typical JoaquĂn.
Congressman Gary had vanished into the crowd, but you didnât mind. Better alone than attached to a man who introduced you as a pet project. You plucked a glass of champagne from a passing tray, the cold stem grounding in your fingers, and sidestepped toward the edge of the room.
An outlet revealed itself by a floor-length curtain. You knelt, as if adjusting your heel, and casually broke the gem from your bracelet, slipping it into the socket with practiced ease.
âOkay,â JoaquĂn said, voice clearer now. âGive me a minute to get my bearings. While Iâm working on this, try not to look like a loser in the corner. Mingle or something.â
You scoffed under your breath. âEasy for you to sayâyou can talk anyoneâs ear off.â
âYou calling me annoying?â
âYeah.â
âWow. Go see if you can find Bucky while I work on this, would you?â
Right. Bucky Barnes.
You werenât here to mingle. You werenât here to sip champagne or shake hands or sweet-talk your way into the New Avengersâ good graces. You were here for Sam. And more specificallyâfor Bucky. Wherever the hell he was hiding.
The plan was simple enough in theory: Get a read on what Valentina was playing at. Try to talk to Bucky. Get ahead of whatever fallout was brewing between him and Sam before it turned into a full-blown civil war again. Youâd offered to go because no one else would.
JoaquĂn was trying to stay neutral (and failing). Isaiah had dismissed Bucky as a long-lost white man with too many ghosts. And Sam refused to speak to Bucky since the news broke about the New Avengers. And Bucky hadnât said a damn word back.
So here you were. You were the only one left who might still be able to stand in the space between them without setting off alarms, even if you were biased.
You still didnât understand how Bucky could do it. How he could go from testifying before Congress about accountability and reform, to standing beside Valentina Allegra de Fontaine like she hadnât personally undone everything theyâd fought for. Like he hadnât been there when Ross tried to throw his friends all in cells. (Sure, you weren't there for it either, but Sam told you all about it; the accords were one of the reasons the Avengers broke up.)
Valentina wasnât just dangerousâshe was calculated. Clever. The kind of dangerous that worked in the shadows, smiling for cameras while quietly tying strings around peopleâs necks. She had her ex-husband arrested, sabotaged Wakandan outreach missions, and picked through the wreckage of post-blip heroes like she was drafting a fantasy football team. The fact that she now had a unit of enhanced individuals marching under her payroll and calling themselves the New Avengers made your stomach turn.
And Bucky was one of them.
You believed Valentina was guilty the second Bucky first mentioned sheâd recruited John Walker. Walkerâwho had murdered a man in public, with blood still wet on the shieldâand somehow walked free. Charges vanished. Headlines redirected. Now he was being repackaged as a hero again, and Bucky was standing next to him like nothing had happened.
You couldnât wrap your head around it. No matter how many angles you looked at it from, it didnât make sense. And the more you thought about it, the more it burned in your chest.
What was he thinking?
Why hadnât he said anything?
Why wasnât he here?
You pulled in a slow breath as you stepped further into the room, letting the sound of clinking glasses and diplomatic small talk wash over you like static.
The room was grand in a gaudy wayâshiny surfaces and marble floors that reflected the chandelier light too harshly. Everything screamed polished excess, like they were trying to distract from the blood under the polish.
You tried to scan the crowd for Bucky, but there were too many faces, too many government suits and PR smiles, none of them him. You told yourself that when you did find Bucky, heâd have some kind of explanationâsomething to loosen the knot in your chest, something that could push down the rising anxiety. Something that could explain how the man you once trusted was now parading around in a suit under Valentinaâs thumb.
Instead, you found Congressman Gary. Or rather, he found you.
He was already three glasses of champagne deepâfive, if you counted the shots youâd seen him down on the wayâand he beamed like heâd found a shiny toy in a sea of suits.
âThere she is,â he said, slinging an arm around your shoulder like you hadnât just been avoiding him for fifteen minutes. âYou have got to meet some of these people. Big names. Big wallets.â
You were too polite to shrug him off, even as he dragged you into a circle of De Fontaineâs investors. Their grins were just a little too sharp, their eyes a little too eager. The way they looked at you made your skin crawl, like you were a chess piece they hadnât quite decided how to play yet.
You smiled tightly. Shook clammy hands. Answered vague questions. Nodded while they spoke about âopportunities,â ârebuilding legacy,â and ârebranding heroism.â
One man leaned in closer, his breath thick with bourbon. âYou know,â he said, voice oily, âwith your background, youâd be a perfect candidate for the new team. Valentina has a real eye for talent, and weâre building something bigger than what came before. Something better. You could help shape it from the inside.â
You swallowed your disgust with a sip of champagne. âIâm not really looking to join anything right now.â That was a lie. You already had a seat in the team Sam was putting together. But he did not need to know that.
He chuckled, as if that wasnât an answer.
âOkay, Iâve got eyes,â JoaquĂn said suddenly in your ear. His voice broke through the haze like a rope thrown across stormy water.
You exhaled in relief. âExcuse me,â you told the group, already turning away. âI need to grab a drink.â
They nodded, already moving on to the next opportunity in heels. Gary wasnât too happy, though.
You drifted from the circle, walking slowly toward the open bar. On the way, you passed a tray of themed hors dâoeuvresâtiny âAvengerâ sliders with edible logos, cupcakes shaped like shields and guns.
A mounted camera in the corner caught your eye, its red light blinking lazily above a velvet-draped sculpture.
âSee me?â you muttered.
âYeah, I see you,â JoaquĂn replied.
âStill no sign of Barnes.â
âScanning crowd pings now,â he said. âEither heâs ghosting the place or he got another haircut and I canât recognize him. Which would be so like him, by the way.â
You sighed and accepted another drink from a passing server, something dry and too expensive, and kept moving.
You figured youâd shaken at least six hands tonight that belonged to people whoâd love to see your head on a stickâif not for the lucrative optics of you standing here at all. You were an opportunity to them. A symbol. A bargaining chip in a war they didnât even understand.
Your dress caught suddenly.
You stumbledâonly a step, but enough for the chilled drink to slosh dangerously near the edge of the glass. You turned on instinct, hand rising to fix the silk scarf that had slipped from your neck and shoulder.
A man stood behind you, wide-eyed, hand half-raised like heâd been about to catch you.
âIâIâm so sorry,â he stammered. His voice was low, a subtle rumble barely audible over the layers of clinking glass, conversation, and ambient music. ââstepped on your dress. Sorry.â
You blinked, caught off guard.
He looked like he didnât belong here. Not in the way the others did. No glossy name tag, no designer smugness. His suit was clean, but not flashy. Understated.
âItâs fine,â you said quickly, instinctively adjusting your scarf where it had slipped from your shoulder. You shook out the fabric of your dress around the ankles, heart skipping in the echo of that voice. Something about the way he said itâapologetic, soft, like he genuinely meant itâcaught you off guard.
âSorry,â he mumbled again, even quieter this time, eyes dropping to the floor. His dark hair fell over his face, almost like he was trying to shrink three sizes. You could hear a faint, awkward laugh in his voice. âUhm⌠yeah. Sorry.â
He didnât linger. Just turned and slipped back into the crowd before you could even process anything. No second glance. Just a gentle pivot and a few long strides back into the crowd, swallowed instantly by the sea of shoulder pads, press passes, and sharp perfume.
You stood there for a second, staring after him.
He moved differently from the others. No performative swagger. No politicianâs posture. No tray in his hand, so heâs definitely not a server. He was quiet in a way that made you feel like youâd imagined him, like heâd only brushed through this reality for a second before vanishing into another.
You didnât recognize him.
And you should have.
For all the files youâd scoured, the profiles and photos, the research youâd buried yourself in to prepare for tonight, youâd made it your job to know every player in this room. Who to watch. Who to avoid. Who might be useful.
But not him.
You turned back toward the bar, but your mind didnât follow. Not entirely.
Who the fuck was that?
You were just about to ask JoaquĂn to pull a facial scan when something in your periphery stopped you cold.
John Walker.
He was only a few steps away, mid-conversation with some high-level sponsor, until his gaze landed on you. And then he froze.
The look that crossed his face was quick, recognition, discomfort, maybe a flicker of guilt, but he buried it just as fast, turning away without a word. He pivoted like a man avoiding a ghost, ignoring the way the sponsor he spoke to called after him.
âWalker just made a hard left into the hors dâoeuvres,â JoaquĂn muttered in your ear, low and amused. âYou see that?â
You exhaled, more irritated than surprised. âWeâre not here for him.â
âYeah. I think he knows that too. Thatâs why heâs pretending heâs got important shrimp to eat.â
That pulled a faint smile from you, biting down the urge to laugh.
Typical. The last time youâd seen Walker in person, he was seated in a courtroom with his jaw clenched so tight you thought heâd snap a molar. Youâd testified in his case, alongside Sam, Bucky, and everyone else who had to witness what happened in Madripoorâwhat he did to that man in the square. The shield, slick and red. The silence afterward, heavier than any explosion.
You never fought him. Never had to. But you'd been on opposite sides of that mess, and he knew it. Hell, youâd spoken directly to his discharge. Your words were probably still echoing in the back of his skull.
The way he turned away just now⌠yeah. He remembered you.
âIâm surprised he didnât start barking about national security,â JoaquĂn quipped in your ear again. âDo you think we should trail him?â
You hesitated. You didnât want to. Just the idea of following in Walkerâs smug footsteps made your jaw clench.
But JoaquĂn pressed, âHe might know where Bucky is.â
And that was the problemâhe was right. And you hated how much sense it made. Of course, Walker would know. You also hate how Walker and Bucky were probably friends now.
A camera flash caught your eye, and you instinctively straightened your posture, smoothed your expression. No time for a scowl, even if thatâs all you wanted to wear.
You adjusted your gown, tugged lightly at the hem, checked the wire hidden at your waist, and started walking in the direction Walker and that ugly barret he wore had vanished.
The crowd shifted around you like tidewaterâpolished politicians and strategic handshakes, investors with too-white smiles and drinks that cost more than your rent. Every few steps, someone waved. A few shook your hand like they knew you, like you were an old friend theyâd been waiting for. A woman asked for a photo. Another leaned in and whispered, âAre you joining the new team?â like it were a secret worth selling.
You deflected with a nod and a vague smile, each interaction leaving a layer of static behind your eyes.
It was strange how quickly the attention shifted now that you were in the spotlight. Recently, youâd spent most of your career standing behind Isaiah while JoaquĂn and Sam did the talking. You liked it there. It was quieter. Easier to breathe. Now, suddenly, they were holding out chairs for you at the table.
The whole thing felt like theatre. Scripted and glassy. Lines rehearsed. Costumes ironed. Every player doing their part beneath the blinding stage lights.
You still werenât sure what was worseâthat Bucky accepted Valentinaâs funding, or that he and his new friends let her call them The Avengers.
Sam was right to be angry. He should be. Heâd already turned down President Rossâ private offer to hand him the reins of a military-funded global response team. The same offer that Valentina had repackaged, repurposed, and handed off to people who were too coward to say no.
âHeâs on the east end, talking to Ava starr and another woman. I think sheâs Valentinaâs assistant. Ohâshit. He just pointed at you.â
Your chest tightened. You turned too fast, momentarily losing your bearings in the rotating lights and mirrored walls. Eastâeastâ
And then someone stepped into your path.
A wall of a man appeared in front of you so suddenly, you nearly collided with him; broad-shouldered and bearded, dressed in a burgundy suit that looked just a size too tight across his chest.
He smiled widely, eyes bright like heâd been waiting for a moment like this all night.
âI know you,â he said, voice thick with a Russian accent. âIâve seen you on the televisions. You shake hands with the new Captain America.â
You blinked. âIâuh, yeah.â
âAh!â He laughed, clapping one heavy hand to your shoulder with surprising gentleness for a man who looked like he could punch through drywall. âVery brave of you. Very good. You look different in person. In a strong way. Like a panther. Or mongoose.â
You tried for a diplomatic smile. âThanks, I think.â
âOh! Where are my manners,â he said, dramatically straightening and offering his hand. âI am Alexei Shostakov. The Red Guardian.â
You knew that, but you didnât know heâd be so... loud.
You took his hand, his grip warm and firm. âPleasure to meet you, Alexei.â
âKind. Very kind,â he said, eyes gleaming. âYou remind me of my daughter! You have same fire in eyes. Around same age, tooâyou could be friends! Yelena is always looking for new friends.â
Yelena Belova. That name lit something up in the back of your mind. Youâd seen the files. The attempted murder of Clint Barton. Her brief status as an independent threat before being absorbed, quietly and conveniently, into Valentinaâs new game.
And suddenly, Alexeiâs smile widened even more.
âYelena!â he bellowed, cupping his hands to his mouth as if you werenât standing in the middle of a very public, very polished gala. âCome meet new friend!â
Several heads turned. Cameras flashedâbright, blinding. You winced against the burst of lights, regretting everything from your dress colour to your decision to show up at all.
But it was too late. He leaned in beside you, one arm suddenly draped over your shoulder like you were posing for a family Christmas card. âSmile!â he boomed, and before you could protest, he struck a dramatic flex, biceps pressing into your back like steel girders.
You caught a whiff of expensive cologne and vodka.
In the corner of your eye, a flash of short, bleached blonde hair was making its way through the crowd with frightening determination. Elegant, yesâbut there was no mistaking the sharpness in Yelena Belovaâs gaze. She wore a sleek black suit like it was made of knives, a funky eyeliner design, hair slicked back and every step carved with purpose. And beside herâ
Your heart dipped.
Valentina Allegra de Fontaine.
Poised. Smirking. Watching everything.
âBe careful. Yelena is coming your way with Valentina.â
Thanks for the warning, JoaquĂn. Delayed. But thanks nevertheless.
You stood up straighter, willing your heartbeat to slow down even as Valentinaâs eyes zeroed in on you like a predator clocking a foe.
Wonderful.
You leaned slightly toward Alexei, trying not to seem as panicked as you felt. âCan I ask you something? About Bucky Barnes?â
âAh!â he exclaimed, cutting you off before you could finish the question. âBucky! Yes, yes. The Winter Soldier. Very cool. Very handsome. Like Soviet James Dean.â
You blinked. âI meanâdo you know where he is?â
But Alexei was already on another tangent. âWe fought in Uzbekistan once, did you know this? I threw him through a door. He did not like that. But I like him. I like him very much. Quiet, serious type. You know he never answers my texts?â
âRight. Yeah. That tracks.â
And thenâ
âOh, what a pleasant surprise,â said a voice sharp as champagne fizz and just as bitter. De Fontaine. She cut into the conversation with the smoothness of someone who was always in control, grinning like she knew a secret you didnât. A glass of bubbly dangled between her fingers, catching the light just enough to draw attention. As if she needed help with that.
âI was just about to introduce you all,â she said, placing a perfectly manicured hand on Yelenaâs arm as the blonde finally joined your little nightmare circle.
âWhat is this?â Yelena asked flatly, eyes flicking between you and Valentina.
Valentina didnât bother to answerâjust gave a smug little hum and tugged Yelena closer, corralling her between you and Alexei. The four of you shifted automatically into position, an unspoken reflex in rooms like this.
You could feel the cameras turning like sharks in bloodied water.
Flashes burst across your vision. The moment was already capturedâyour stiff shoulders, your frozen smile. A picture-perfect lineup of cooperation.
And you could feel it: this wasnât a coincidence.
This was intentional.
Valentina leaned in, voice cool and sugary against your ear as more bulbs burst. âI am so pleased to see you here,â she cooed, âconsidering how close you and Sam are.â
âI mean, I had to come congratulate you,â you said tightly, lips barely moving. âRecreating the Avengers. Thatâs⌠big.â
She beamed at the cameras, teeth white and wolfish. âSomeone had to.â
âOf course.â
Another flash. Another frozen pose.
You winced. Sam is going to kill you.
Valentina fielded the sudden swarm of questions like she was born in front of a podiumâdeflecting, redirecting, charming. Every answer was deliberate, each word chosen like a chess move. Stability. Legacy. Global confidence. Alliances.
They lapped it up like champagne, snapping photos, nodding, laughing. You stood beside her, barely blinking, jaw tight behind your polite smile.
You werenât meant to be part of this show. You were supposed to be on the outside looking in from the in the crowd.
When the flashes finally began to die down and the clamour shifted elsewhere, Valentina turned with that too-perfect, too-white grin. She glanced at Yelena and Alexei like she were dismissing children.
âWould you two mind?â she asked, breezy as ever. âIâd like to have a quick little chat.â
Yelenaâs gaze flicked toward you. Not unkind. But cautious. Reading you like a live wire.
âIs everything all right?â she asked, her brows subtly knitting.
âOh, everythingâs perfectly fine,â Valentina replied before you could speak, her hand already at your back. âGo fetch a drink. Mingle.â
It wasnât a suggestion.
You barely had time to glance back at Yelenaâat the slight, suspicious narrowing of her eyesâbefore the crowd swallowed her and Alexei whole.
Your earpiece crackled to life. âSheâs taking you to the balcony,â JoaquĂn said, voice low and taut. âThere are no cameras there. I wonât be able to see, but I can still hear you.â
There was a pause, then: âIâll keep looking for Bucky.â
You barely managed a breath of relief before Valentina cut in, sharp and smiling.
âBuckyâs not here tonight, if thatâs really why youâre here.â
You stiffened mid-step.
JoaquĂn swore in your ear. Something heavy hit a surfaceâmaybe his fist against a tableâand you heard the scrape of a chair.
âWhat do you mean?â you asked, your voice light, falsely sweet. âI came to celebrate you.â
You crossed the threshold to the balcony.
It was quieter out here, eerily so. The muffled pulse of the gala was dulled by glass and distance. The cold kissed your skin through your dress. You could feel it biting at your exposed arms, but you welcomed the sting. It was honest.
Below, the city stretched like a glowing circuit board. Skyscrapers hummed with light. Traffic moved in golden veins. It was beautiful in the kind of way that felt removed. Untouchable.
Valentinaâs heels clicked once against the stone floor, then stopped.
âCut the bullshit,â she scoffed, voice low now. âWe both know thatâs not true.â
You turned your head, slow and steady. Her eyes were already on you. Unflinching.
âWhereâs your friend?â she asked casually. âThe little Mexican one?â
You flinchedâjust barely. Your jaw clenched tight.
Valentina smiled wider at that.
You opened your mouth to answer, to lie, to throw her off, to say something clever, but she leaned forward before you could, voice barely above a whisper.
Her lips were close to your collarbone, eyes locked on your chest. On the mic she couldnât see.
âHola, JoaquĂn,â she murmured, velvet-smooth. âÂżCĂłmo estĂĄs? Howâs the arm? Still broken?â
She pulled back with a grin full of satisfaction. JoaquĂn didnât respondânot a breath. But you felt the burn of it in your gut. He heard her. She knew he was listening. And that was the whole point.
She got what she wanted. You could see it in the eyes, the tilt of her head, the calm sip from her glass, the curl of smugness just under her lipstick.
Valentina turned her back to the railing, facing you fully, her glass catching the amber light of the city. Her smile didnât crack once.
âYou know,â she began, like she was catching up with an old friend, her voice silked with charm, âyou donât have to keep playing both sides. Itâs exhausting, isnât it?â
You said nothing. Not because you didnât have something to say, but because the words wouldnât form. Your brain was too busy calculating exits, signals, whether JoaquĂn could hear any of this, or if he was already doing something stupid like storming into the gala uninvited.
âYou show up with a wire,â she continued, waving her champagne flute like it weighed nothing, âa dress like that, pretending youâre just here to smile for the cameras.â
Her eyes dipped slowly, then back up.
âYou do look stunning, by the way,â she added casually. âBut we both know youâre not here for the press or to butter yourself up to me or my team. Youâre listening. Recording. Digging...â
The flute met her lips again. Sip. Deliberate.
âLooking for Barnes,â she said. âLike heâs going to whisper some grand truth thatâll fix whatever little crisis your friends are having.â
You could feel your jaw tighten. Every word she spoke landed like pressure against a bruise you didnât want to admit was there.
Valentina tilted her head, studying you with the kind of gaze that belonged in an interrogation room, not a rooftop party. âYouâre sharp,â she said. âGood instincts. Itâs why Sam keeps you close, right?â
Still, you stayed silent. Because anything you gave her, sheâd twist. She already was.
âBut let me ask you something,â she said, voice a shade lower, softer. âWhatâs loyalty really worthâif the people you serve are always the ones left bleeding in the dirt?â
A pulse of heat shot up your neck. You didnât move, but she saw it.
Of course, she saw it.
âAnd for the record,â she added, twirling the stem of her glass, âI donât have anything against Sam Wilson. Poor guy. I pity him, actually. The shit heâs put up with just for carrying that shieldâGod.â
She clicked her tongue with exaggerated sympathy.
âIâd kill to have Captain America on my team. The real one. Not Walker. That man is a pathetic as it gets. Hair-trigger temper, zero emotional intelligenceââ
âSam would never work with you,â you said, sharper than intended.
Valentinaâs smile widened because you finally said something worthwhile. âOh, I know,â she said, almost gleefully. âHeâs a purist. One of the last. His morals are steel-tight. Fucking unshakable. A real Boy Scout. Steve Rogers made a good choice.â
And that was the part that hurtâthe part that made you swallow back a flicker of doubt you hadnât expected to feel.
âWhereâs Bucky?â you asked, voice quieter now. âI just want to talk to him.â
She didnât even hesitate.
âBuckyâs not missing or anything,â Valentina said. âHeâs busy. Doing a job for me in Pennsylvania. Cleaning up some loose ends, you know the deal.â
You felt it before you could stop itâthat tiny, invisible shift in your expression. Something cracked. Something gave her an answer you hadnât meant to give.
âThat supposed to scare me?â you asked, though it already kind of did.
âNo,â she said. âItâs supposed to make you think. About options. About what someone like you could do with the right resources. With the right funding. Imagine it: you with your own team. Autonomy. Access. No more red tape. You make your own shots. We clean up whatever mess you leave behind. And, get this, you even get paid for it.â
You glanced toward the city, anything to avoid her eyes. Lights. Windows. Warmth. All of it felt so far away.
âAnd if I say no?â
âThen someone else says yes.â
She stepped back, brushing something from her blazer sleeve. âJust think about it,â she said, all silk and sugar again. âWe could use someone like you. You belong in rooms like this, you know. Not chasing ghosts, or waiting for Wilson to approve your next move. Youâre already breaking. I can see it. You wouldnât be here tonight if you werenât. Iâm sure Captain America wonât be happy seeing your name in the headlines tomorrow morning: The Next Potenital Avenger.â
Her smile held, framed in the cold, glittering dark of the balcony. Then she turned and walked past you, the soft graze of her shoulder against yours more intimate than it had any right to be. A mockery of closeness.
âEnjoy the rest of your evening,â she said, already stepping back through the doors. âTell Sam I said hi.â
The glass door shut behind her with a quiet click.
And the cold came in fast.
Not just the air, but the after. The silence. The wrongness of being left alone up here, the wind biting now that you werenât so focused on not showing fear.
Your body finally remembered it was yours. Your fingers hurt from gripping the railing too hard. You eased your hands free, flexed them, saw the white draining slowly from your knuckles. You still couldnât feel them.
Your mic hissed faintly to life, and JoaquĂnâs voice filtered through the static like someone calling out to you underwater.
ââŚyou okay?â he asked, strained. Urgent.
You didnât answer right away. Your mind was still racing through what Valentina had said, how easily sheâd dodged your defences, how easy she was to turn your presence into a publicity stunt, how well she knew youâor at least thought she did.
She must be blackmailing Bucky. That must be it.
You kept staring out at the skyline like it might give you an answer. It didnât. Just glass and steel and lights that blinked too slow to feel alive.
âNo,â you finally muttered.
It didnât come out strong. It came out cracked. Like the inside of your chest had gone hollow, and you were just now realizing it.
JoaquĂn exhaled through the comm, like heâd been holding his breath.
âI think legal action is our next step,â he said, tone snapping back into focus like a lifeline. âWe can sue them for the name. Trademark it. Or maybeâmaybe Sam tries to talk to Bucky again? Weâve still got options.â
You didnât respond. Not yet.
The railing under your palm felt like ice. You blinked hard, fighting back the sudden sting in your eyes. Not from fear. From frustration. From the way every word she said still echoed in your head, sticky and sharp, leaving splinters behind.
You dragged in a breath.
ââŚthat fucking bitch,â you scoffed.
âYeah⌠I donât like Valentina either.â
You jumped.
The voice came from somewhere behind you, softer, unsure. You spun around on instinct, stepping away from the railing.
That man.
The one who stepped on your dress earlier. He was sitting now, low in one of the patio couches near a sleek electric fireplace that flickered lazily against the dark. The flames glinted off the patio doors and caught the edge of his profileâbrown hair, downturned mouth, eyes wide like he was the one who got caught.
You hadnât noticed him when you came out here. And now that you really looked⌠you realized why.
He wasnât trying to be seen.
He sat in the farthest corner of the couch, hunched slightly, knees close together, hands clutched like he didnât know what to do with them. Like someone had planted him there and told him to wait. The firelight danced across his face, softening him. He didnât look threatening. Just... startled. And oddly apologetic for existing.
He offered a small, nervous smile. âSorry, I didnât mean to, like⌠scare you.â
There was genuine concern in his voiceâconcern for you, not about you. That was rare.
âItâs fine,â you said, because you didnât know what else to say.
âWhoâs that?â JoaquĂn's voice cracked through your earpiece.
You didnât answer right away.
Your eyes stayed on the stranger, and for a moment, you debated whether or not to even breathe too loud.
âI donât knowâŚâ You muttered.
âOkay, uh⌠Iâll try to do a voice match or somethingâsee if anything comes up. Keep them talking.â
The man mustâve noticed the way you were half-turned, the way your fingers brushed against your ear.
He shifted slightly. âWhoâre⌠whoâre you talking to?â
You froze. And then, with a wince: âUh⌠just⌠myself. Thinking out loud.â
There was a pause.
âOh,â he said. âYeah. I do that too. All the time, actually.â
You werenât sure what to do with that. You werenât sure what to do with him.
He looked different now compared to earlier. Still awkward, still nervousâbut less like he was trying to shrink into himself and more like he was trying his best to meet you where you were. His eyes held yours this time. Not for long, though. They dropped to his hands and shoes after a while. But it was long enough to feel it.
You took a cautious step forward, angling yourself toward the fire, toward him, but still keeping a healthy distance.
âYou um⌠You know Valentina?â you asked. Stupid. Of course, he did. Everyone at this party did.
âUh⌠yeah. Something like that,â he said, rubbing the back of his neck. âI wasnât like⌠eavesdropping or anything. Itâs justâthereâs a lot of people in there. And itâs⌠quieter out here.â
He hesitated, then added: âIâm Bob, by the way.â
His voice wavered, but not from dishonesty. He said his name like he wasnât sure it would mean anything to you. Like he just told you his name to be kind.
You gave him a nod. Not a smile. But not cold either.
âHi, Bob.â
A beat passed.
You debated telling him your name. JoaquĂn would probably advise against it. But you werenât feeling tactical anymoreâyou were feeling tired. Bruised in a way you couldnât name. And maybe you just needed to feel like a real person again. Like someone who wasnât being puppeteered.
So, after a pause, you gave him your name.
Bob blinked. Then he offered a small, shy smile that cracked at the edges.
âCool. Hi,â he said, breathless. His brows furrowed as his gaze dropped lower, his eyes catching on your waist, your hips. âUhâsorry again, about your dress. I didnât mean to step on it earlier. You looked like you were in a rush and Iâwell, I was definitely in your way.â
You felt your lips twitch. The barest curve, not sharp or defensive. A faint grin. Delicate. âItâs alright,â you said. âBound to happen at places like these.â
His head tilted slightly, curious. âYou come to stuff like this often?â
âNot often. Just sometimes.â
And it was only then that you realized youâd stepped closer.
Your arms had casually found their place against the back of the couch across from him, hands gripping the cool metal frame as your scarf drifted with the breeze behind you. You werenât leaning in exactly, but the distance had shrunk.
When did that happen?
You tilted your head, letting your eyes linger a little longer now, more curious than guarded. You assessed him with a little more attention now.
âIâm guessing you donât come to these events much?â
Bob immediately shook his head, a nervous, breathy laugh escaping his lips like it was running away from him. You could see the cloud of it in the cold night air, swirling and vanishing between you.
âGod, no. This is my second one and itâsâitâs been a lot. I think Iâm gonna ask to just stay in my room next time.â He gave a little shrug, slouching a bit. âItâs not like I do much anyway. I mean, Iâm allowed to talk to people, and I like talking to people, but Iâd rather not sometimes.â
That made you blink. Allowed?
The word snagged on something in your mind. There was something disarming about the way he said it, like he didnât mean to offer that information but also didnât think it was worth hiding. You couldnât tell if he was joking, oversharing, or both. But it was too strange to ignore. Like it slipped past a filter that wasnât built right. It made you hesitate, if only for a breath.
But he wasnât watching your reaction. He was staring at the flicker of the fire, letting the silence sit between you like it belonged there.
You folded your arms gently across your chest, the smooth material of your dress whispering beneath your fingertips.
âYou seem to be talking just fine with me,â you pointed out, softer now.
Bob looked down at his hands. Then back at you. Then away again.
âI⌠wellâŚâ he stammered, voice catching on another shy, almost embarrassed laugh.
And then you saw it.
The blush. A warm pink crawling up from the collar of his white shirt to the apples of his cheeks. Subtle, but not subtle enough to miss. Especially not in the glow of the firelight, which danced over his skin like it had a crush of its own.
âI⌠yeah, I... I donât know. Some people are easier to talk to than others, I guess.â
Your mouth twitched before you could stop it.
âYeah,â you said, âIâd say so.â
The smile that tugged at your lips came easier than you expected. Not just polite. Not guarded. Honest. Probably the first one youâd let slip all night.
Seriously, who the hell is this guy? And why did he make the night feel a little less awful?
He was cute. Not the kind of handsome that announces itself the second someone walks in the room, but the kind that sneaks up on you, quiet, awkward, totally unsure of how much space he takes up and trying not to be a bother. Like he wasnât used to being looked at for too long and didnât know where to put himself when he was.
Youâd seen a lot of people in this world wear confidence like a costume. Bob didnât even try. He wore uncertainty like a second skin, and somehow, it made him feel⌠real.
You liked the way he didnât crowd you. Didnât puff out his chest or pretend to have all the answers. He sat with his knees slightly knocked together, most of his hands swallowed by the sleeves of his jacket, like even they were too bold to leave out in the open. Maybe he was anxious. Maybe a little broken in the places that never healed right, but he felt safe. Your gut told you so.
And that made you more nervous than anything else tonight.
You caught yourself watching him again. The way he kept his hands mostly hidden in his sleeves, shoulders rounded forward. His suit was clearly tailored but still seemed a size too big, like someone had tried to wrap him in something expensive just to prove he belonged. And still, it worked.
His hair was brown and shaggy, a bit longer than most people would have it at these events, barely even styled, but you kind of liked it. It gave him a strange charm, even if the loose curls hid his eyes whenever he ducked his head.
You werenât used to thoughts like this. Not ones this soft. Not ones that fluttered in your chest like nervous birds. Not often. Not like this. Not here. Not in places like these.
You came for Bucky. That was the plan. Show up, find him, talk. Clear the air. Maybe start patching things up with your broken little found familyâcracks and all. But Bucky wasnât here. Valentina played you like a fiddle, and now the whole night had soured. Tomorrow, youâd wake up to press statements and headlines, scrambling to explain why your name wouldnât be on the next New Avengers roster. Youâd spin it clean, of course. Thatâs what you did.
But none of that mattered yet.
In this strange little pocket of quiet, just outside the hum of power plays and champagne politics, you kind of just wanted something normal. Not mission normal. Not cover-identity normal. Real normal. A conversation that didnât hinge on leverage or patriotism. A moment that wasnât already weaponized.
Maybe you could stay for another half hour before you disappeared and joined JoaquĂn in the van downstairs, counting your losses.
And maybe it was the firelight, a flicker here, a flicker there, warmth and glow dancing in the night that influenced you. But you found yourself leaning forward a little more, walking around the couch, smoothing your hands down the front of your dress. You straightened your spine, trying to will yourself into being brave.
âWould you...â You paused, âum. Do you wanna grab a drink with me?â
Bob blinked, eyes flicking up to meet yours. He sat up straighter at the invitation, startled, like a puppy hearing its name for the first time. His lips parted. For a split second, you swore he looked excited. Maybe even hopeful.
But then he deflated.
His shoulders fell, his expression shifting to a quiet sort of apology as his eyes darted away. âI... I canât. Sorryââ
âOh.â You blinked, trying not to let your smile falter.
âI want to,â he rushed to say, almost stumbling over the words. âI do.â
âItâs okayââ
âNo. No. I would. Itâs just... IâmâIâm sober now.â
Your mouth opened. Then closed.
âOh.â
âIâm sorryââ he added quickly, like he was terrified heâd ruined something.
But you shook your head, even stepping a little closer without realizing it.
âNo. Donât be sorry,â you said gently. âSeriously. Congratulations. Thatâs a big deal.â
He smiled at that, small and grateful. A little crooked and thin-lipped. It was cute.
âThanks.â
You hesitated a moment, then tilted your head. âCan I ask how long?â
âUhâŚâ He scratched the back of his neck, eyes flicking upward like he was counting the months with the stars. âI think about a year now. Iâve only really started keeping track since I moved here, so... maybe like, seven? Eight months?â
You smiled softly, your heart unexpectedly warm.
âThatâs still a long time.â
He gave a sheepish shrug, and his cheeks pinked again, like he didnât quite know what to do with your praise. Like no one gave it to him often enough for it to feel normal.
âSome days feel longer than others,â he said, the corner of his mouth twitching at his own tease.
You couldnât help the laugh that bubbled out of you, quiet, but real.
âWhat are youâŚ?â
JoaquĂnâs voice fizzled to life in your ear, cracking the quiet like a crowbar to glass.
âAre you flirting right now?â
You froze, the smile instantly tugging at your lips again despite yourself.
When you didnât answer, he laughed.
âOh my god, youâre totally flirting right now! Itâs so bad, but you so are! Who even is this guy?â
You turned ever so slightly, subtle as you could manage, and pressed a knuckle into your ear to mute him. Your cheeks warmed in tandem with Bobâs.
Bob blinked. âSorry⌠did I, umâwas that weird?â
âNo, no,â you said quickly, maybe too quickly. âThat wasnât you.â
He just nodded, like your word was more than enough. Like you couldâve told him the moon was fake, and heâd say, huh, never really thought about that before.
You moved to take a seat across from him, the fireplace crackling softly between you like a low, slow heartbeat. The warmth of the flames painted him in golds and ambers, the flickering light catching the softness in his eyes and the loose fall of his hair.
You fidgeted with your fingers out of instinct. And across the fire, he mirrored the motionâthumb twisting around his knuckle, pinky tapping rhythmically against the inside of his sleeve. There was something strangely reassuring in that shared nervousness, like you were both waiting for the same storm to pass.
You let out a quiet breath, tension easing from your shoulders. âYou said you moved here? Like, New York?â
âYeah,â he said, nodding. His shoulders dipped too, visibly relaxing just a touch, like your voice permitted him to breathe. âI⌠uh, I lived in Malyasha for a while. But Iâm from Florida. Born and raised. Whereâwhere are you from?â
You tilted your head slightly, watching how intently he tried to keep eye contact and how quickly he broke it again. âI flew in from Washington.â
âD.C.?â he asked, and you nodded.
His eyebrows lifted, eyes wide for a split second. âWow. Do you work in the White House or something?â
You huffed a laugh, smiling into your words. âSure. Something like that.â
His head bobbed along with the answer.
âSo youâre like⌠a really important person here.â
You laughed again, this time wider. Your teeth showed. It surprised you how easily you let your guard down. âI wouldnât say that.â
But he was smiling too, softer now. Less anxious.
âYou are,â he said, more sure of himself now. âI saw the way people looked at you tonight. Notânot that I was watching you or anything⌠just, itâs hard not to. Youâre, umâŚâ
You saw the moment he lost his words, saw them spill and scatter like marbles across a floor. His blush deepened, blooming across his cheeks in a full, unmistakable deep red colour. He ducked his head, eyes falling to his shoes again, and you watched him fight a shy, apologetic smile.
ââŚI can see why theyâd want your picture.â
And just like that, your heart softened.
You leaned in a little, elbows resting against your knees. âThank you, Bob. Youâre really sweet, you know that?â
Bob looked up again, startled by the compliment, his mouth parting slightly like he didnât know what to say to that. You werenât sure if anyone had ever told him that before, and if they had, you could guess they didnât mean it the way you did now.
He didnât belong here. That much was obvious. Not with people like Valentina, not with cold smiles and polished lies. Not with mercenaries, politicians, and millionaires who hide behind their money. You could see it in the way he sat too stiffly on a velvet chair meant for lounging, in the way he tugged at his sleeves or tucked his hands away when he felt exposed.
âWhatâre you doing in a place like this, Bob?â
He blinked, tilting his head like he wasnât sure what you meant.
You smiled, eyes squinting a little as you leaned forward more. âI mean, are you like, a sponsor? Investor?â
The words didnât even sound right on your tongue, not when directed at him. The image of him swirling champagne and talking stocks was so laughably out of sync with the shy guy currently pressing himself into the couch cushions like he wanted to disappear.
âI donât think youâre here for the politics,â you added, and there was a touch of something playful in your voice.
He chuckled softly, eyes crinkling at the corners. âMe? Gosh, no. I donât⌠I donât do politics.â He scratched the back of his ear, sheepish again. âThatâs Buckyâs thing. Iâm here for my friends.â
And just like that, your whole world tilted.
Your smile dropped before you could stop it. A subtle shift, but you felt it everywhere: in your spine, in your lungs, in the weight of your hands resting suddenly still on your knees.
You straightened. Slowly.
ââŚYou know Bucky?â
The question came quieter than you intended, and Bob mustâve heard the change, the sudden stillness in your voice. His smile faltered, and he went still, too, sensing the tension without understanding it. His posture shrank, as if unsure what heâd stepped into, as if trying not to take up more space than he already had to upset you.
He nodded, a cautious kind of affirmation. âYeah. Heâs my friend.â
That stunned silence stretched long between you.
âI⌠I know heâs your friend too,â Bob added quickly, the words spilling out like he was trying to fill the void before it grew too wide. His voice was quieter now, softer around the edges, almost apologetic. âI heard you talking about him to Val, IâI thought maybeâŚâ
You werenât sure why he kept talking. Maybe because you hadnât said anything. Maybe because your smile had disappeared too fast, and he could feel the way the mood had shifted even if he didnât know why. His nervous ramble wasnât meant to hurt, you could tell that. But it did. It did because the moment he said Val, something in you knotted tight again.
The warm glow youâd felt around him moments ago started to dim, curling in on itself like a candle snuffed out mid-flicker. Your heart gave a small, stupid lurchâembarrassed at how quickly youâd let your guard down. Of course he knew Bucky. Of course he was close to Valentina. The pieces slid together too easily now, fitting into a picture you didnât want to look at.
You tried to pull yourself back together, quickly and quietly. You reminded yourself this wasnât supposed to be about comfort. It wasnât about soft smiles or normal conversations or maybe asking someone out for a drink. You came here with a mission, no matter how personal it was. To find Bucky. To set the record straight. Thisâthis moment of peace with a stranger who felt safeâwasnât supposed to happen.
He called her Val. Like they were friends. Like they knew each other beyond just work. Like he wasnât just some shy, nice guy who complimented you under his breath and blushed when you smiled at him. Jesus, were you that easy?
A strange bitterness bloomed in your mouth. Not anger, more like disappointment. At yourself, maybe. For forgetting, even just for a second, what kind of place this really was.
You stood up.
The decision was sudden, impulsive, a small motion made louder by the way Bob flinched. His eyes followed you, something tentative and uncertain flickering across his face.
You reached for your earpiece, thumb brushing over the button to unmute JoaquĂn.
But Bob stood, too. Slowly, almost clumsily, like he wasnât sure if he was supposed to follow you or stay where he was.
âDid Iâdid I say something wrong?â he asked.
You froze. Your fingers stilled over the earpiece. You hadnât expected that.
You turned, not quite facing him fully, but enough to catch the look on his face. His brows had drawn together, confusion etched faintly into his expression, and one of his hands was lifted just slightly, hovering in the air between you like heâd started to reach out and changed his mind halfway through. There were still several feet of space between you. The fire crackled low between you both, casting shadows across the expensive furniture and marble tiles.
âIâm sorry if I did,â he said, voice smaller now. âI didnât mean to upset you.â
That stopped you. âNo⌠you didnâtâŚâ You said, the words stumbling out, half-formed. You didnât know why you tried to soothe him. Maybe it was the way his eyes had gone wide or the way he seemed to dread the thought of you walking away just when he was finally starting to settle into himself. It stirred something in you. Something that made your chest tighten.
You couldâve said never mind. You wanted to. Pretend his words hadnât struck a nerve, hadnât made your heart twist in your chest. But they did. It bothered you.
âYou didnât upset me,â you repeated, softer now. âI just⌠wasnât expecting that.â
Bob blinked at you. âOh,â he said, so gently it almost got carried off by the breeze.
A silence fell between you again. You wrapped your arms around yourself against the wind as you turned to look at him.
âWho are you, Bob?â
He straightened, caught off guard. âIâm... Iâm Bob,â he said. âJust... just Bob.â
You tilted your head. âThatâs it?â
He opened his mouth like he was about to say more, but nothing came out. His lips parted, then pressed shut again, the words retreating back into him like they were scared to be seen. He just shrugged helplessly. Like thatâs all he had left.
And yet he kept looking at you like he was begging you not to go. Not yet.
You sighed, bringing your fingers up to your temple, pressing cold skin to your warm forehead. There was a pulse pounding there now, dull and insistent.
âI justâŚâ You started, voice cracking faintly. âI came here looking for Bucky. I thought maybe I could get him to come home.â
âHome?â Bob asked carefully, his eyes soft.
âYeah. With Sam. With us.â You hesitated, glancing through the tall windows behind him. The light inside spilled gold across the floor, where laughter echoed and people clinked glasses without a care in the world. Your eyes landed on the group youâd been avoiding all nightâBuckyâs new team, huddled together with drinks, grinning like it was just another night to celebrate.
It made your chest hollow out.
âEver since he joined Valentinaâs little fuckass team or... whatever this is,â you said, gesturing vaguely toward the gala behind you, âeverythingâs just been so... shitty.â
You looked back at Bob, surprised to find that heâd stepped a little closer. Just enough that you could see the way his jaw twitched, like he was working through something he didnât know how to say.
âSorry,â you muttered, suddenly self-conscious. âNot to, like, dump all that on you.â
The cold bit into your arms. You rubbed them quickly, wishing youâd brought a coat.
âItâs not...â Bob started, and then, more firmly, âItâs not a fuckass team.â
You blinked. âSorry?â
âThey saved me,â he said, voice trembling just a bit. âLena. Bucky. The others. Theyâre my family. We... we take care of each other.â
You stared at him, something icy curling low in your stomach. âYeah?â
âYeah,â he said again, earnest. âI know it probably doesnât look like it from the outside, but... they gave me a chance when no one else would. They didnât treat me like I was broken. They... saw me.â
You wanted to believe that. You really did. But it felt like trying to swallow glass.
âRight,â you muttered, too tired to argue. âI have to go.â
You turned, reaching for your earpiece.
âWait,â Bob said suddenly, like heâd only just realized this was goodbye. âWill I... will I see you again?â
You paused, fingers still hovering near your ear. The balcony lights flickered faintly behind you, and the sound of the city buzzed low in the background, as if the world were holding its breath.
You didnât turn around right away.
Part of you wanted to say no. Make it easy. Clean.
But when you finally looked back at him, at the boyish worry carved into his face, the way he stood there with his hands half-raised like he didnât know whether to reach for you or let you go, you felt that ache again. The one that whispered that maybe, despite everything, he meant what he said. That maybe there was still something worth salvaging in the strange, quiet warmth youâd felt earlier. Something real.
And you desperately wanted it to be real. You wanted it to mean something.
âI donât know,â you admitted, voice barely above a whisper.
Bob swallowed. Nodded like he understood.
But his eyes lingered on you like he hoped the answer might change.
part two.
#fayeâs writing â.á#bob reynolds#bob reynolds x reader#bob reynolds x you#bob reynolds x y/n#bob reynolds x fem!reader#bob reynolds fanfic#bob reynolds fanfiction#bob reynolds imagine#bob reynolds oneshot#bob reynolds blurb#bob reynolds fic#marvel#marvel thunderbolts#marvel x reader#marvel x you#mcu#mcu x reader#mcu x you#thunderbolts#thunderbolts x reader#thunderbolts x you#thunderbolts fanfic#thunderbolts fanfiction#thunderbolts fic#thunderbolts*#thunderbolts x y/n#robert reynolds#robert reynolds x reader#bobâs void
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Killing myself
#rat rambles#sekai posting#read the event#I have many Many thoughts#good news: my faith has been restored#bad news: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGDKSJSJSJDNDHFVHOBDDHFKSNSJDNAAAAAAWSADAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAFAGAFQFADAAAASHJTJEAAADAAGACASAAKILLINGMYSELDAHHSHDJDBDJRBDK#mizuki. girlie. ohhhhh girlie.#self sabotage. <3.#now the pacing of the event it a bit wonky but I can forgive because the actual mizuki character stuff is absolutely perfect#I do not have the strength to fully scream abt my thoughts rn but I will say this#for those scared this does to me read like a very deliverate writing of a trans person specifically#and I've seen some ppl fearmongering abt queerbait or whatever and thats where I provide my gentle reminder that queer writing often looks#different in japanese fiction than in english and that them not looking into the camera and saying 'Im transgender' or 'Im a lesbian'#doesn't mean that those arent being deliberately portrayed and that they are being deliberately obscured#the writers know what theyre doing with mizuki. how well they write it is smth that we'll have to wait and see but I have some faith#at the very least we dont have to worry abt the rest of the cast not accepting mizuki I can promise that
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Video of it in action below!
Also the eyes glow in the dark! (under the readmore for possible eyestrain)
#It doesn't take much to wind it. The latch startled me and I didn't want to shake the camera too much.#This was made from a toy I had received as a gift when I was younger.#It used to be a princess at one point but when I was younger I Didn't Like That so it wasn't a princess when I found it again.#It was nice to breathe new life into it and make it into something that makes me happy. In a way it's a restoration too I suppose.
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