#Richard and Amsha's A++ parenting

[walkingstackofbooks]

I just want someone to ask Julian if it hurt, when he was enhanced.

You know, just for one of his friends to have really think about what having such drastic bodily changes might include, and what having the procedure done in a place without Federation medical standards might mean...

(Perhaps Keiko or Miles have a moment when they've taken Molly to the infirmary and Julian is reassuring her that it will only hurt a little bit--

Or Odo had been wanting to discuss Dr Mora with someone who might understand a little of what he went through, and ends up noticing that Julian seems to be relating to his past far more than he expected--

Or Ezri overhears some remark Julian makes to Sarina about how he goes his infirmary feels far safer than the ones their parents had left them in--

Or Garak realises why he doesn't feel like deriding the book that Julian has chosen this week, despite the fact that the plot of Matilda is absurdly ridiculous--)

...And maybe Julian would reply that no, it didn't hurt. There's no canonical evidence, as far as I'm aware, and his parents did find a 'decent doctor', after all.

But I think he'd get a funny, unfocused look in his eyes for a few moments, before saying, "No-one's ever asked me that before."

"And? Did it?" they might ask softly, a little unsure if they actually want to hear the answer.

And Julian would frown: appearing puzzled, though, rather than troubled.

"Of course," he'd reply. "I'd thought that was obvious."

[walkingstackofbooks]

I always figured that if his parents were ableist in the 2370s, them being homophobic isn't such a massive leap. Especially with his dad being so obsessed about Julian being his "legacy" - I can imagine them wanting him to have a wife and "proper" children of his own no matter what modern medicine is capable of.

"it doesn't make any logical sense for julian to have hang-ups about being queer in the 2370s" is an objectively, factually correct take.

but I need julian bashir to have just bare minimum enough internalized homophobia for 'one of your girls' to be a garak pov garashir song

[unopposablethumbsao3]

Okay okay okay the thing Garak and Julian fight most about once Julian's on C-Prime is the fact that Garak insists on framing Julian's augmentations as a reason he's superior to other humans and Julian gets really pissed about the eugenics of it all (none of the Cardassians understand this)

It finally comes to a head after Julian's spent more than twenty four consecutive hours in the clinic, he's performed seven surgeries in that time and saved six lives, he's fucking wrecked and Garak tries to help by pointing out that without the augmentations he couldn't possibly have saved even that many and instead of shouting at Garak or storming off to clear his head, Julian just starts sobbing inconsolably

And now Garak has to deal with the fact that even if he can't understand how Julian feels about his augmentations, he has to respect it and also now he's going to have to do some very fancy footwork to make it up to him

[walkingstackofbooks]

I definitely don't think ADHD's a stretch, and potentially bipolar too, yeah. I could quite easily see him refusing to seek out treatment to help manage either of them, because he doesn't care how it affects those around him. I can imagine his family becoming estranged from him after years of trying to help once it starts becoming an exercise in not knowing how to explain why he should care about other people.

Also potentially, in a headcanon where Richard was bipolar (I don't think BPD quite works, but that's just me) it could also add to Amsha's whole "he's just doing his best, don't be so hard on him" thing. I can totally imagine the both of them blaming Richard's most recent downward spiral on Julian, and Amsha being really protective of Richard's "mental health" at the expense of Julian's 🙃

On this note actually, I've recently been turning over the idea that Julian could have BPD that he usually manages well with medication. (Partly because he has so many similarities with the way my housemate describes BPD as affecting him.. 😅) I can imagine him being quite careful and deliberate about the way he forms relationships, because he knows he's liable to become extremely intense or push them away if he lets his feelings take too much control. There are also definitely times where his mood seems to switch quite rapidly, plus there's the frequent feeling of loneliness and emptiness, and the times he acts impulsively in ways that could harm him.

(Although, now I'm thinking about it in definite words rather than half-thought-out headcanons, I realise that whatever medication he was on would have to be really long-lasting to make sense with his time in Camp 371... Hmm..)

out of curiosity, does anyone Armchair Diagnoses Richard Bashir as having ADHD or a mood disorder, what with the fleeting interests and inability to hold on a job for long plus apples (Jules' neurodivergence) not falling far from trees (could run in the family)? or is that terribly reductive?

[quasi-normalcy]

Okay, but what if Lewis Zimmerman had come to Deep Space Nine a few weeks earlier looking to use Bashir in his Long-term Medical Hologram project and he'd actually just encountered the Changeling infiltrator? How would the Changeling, who has no idea about the whole "genetic engineering" thing, even have reacted to meeting Bashir's parents? And if it came out, would it just be like,

Changeling: "Well...sometimes you need to genetically engineer people to better serve you..."

Richard Bashir: "Exactly! See Amsha? I'm glad he finally understands!"

[risingchaos]

SMOKE ON MIRRORS - LAUNDRY LIST

Rating: Teen & Up Archive

Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply

Fandoms: Star Trek, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine

Relationships: Julian Bashir & Benjamin Sisko, Julian Bashir & Elim Garak, Julian Bashir & Miles O'Brien

Characters: Julian Bashir, Benjamin Sisko, Jadzia Dax, Elim Garak, Kira Nerys, Miles O'Brien

Additional Tags: Autistic Julian Bashir, Augmented Julian Bashir, Autism, Ableism, Internalized Ableism, Accidental Ableism, Introspection, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Whump, 5+1 Things, The blurred lines between augmentation and autism, No beta we die like Sisko's hair, Sensory Issues, Stimming, Conversations, Bad Parents Amsha Bashir & Richard Bashir, Author is Autistic, Alcohol consumption in the last two chapters

Language: English

Words: 7,034

Chapters: 5/6

Summary: Miles notices Julian never makes eye contact, and opens up a whole can of worms when he asks.

-

CHAPTER FOUR (with links to previous)

THE FIC ON AO3

-

Miles liked to think he and Julian were good friends. Best friends even, if you got him drunk enough. They spent a lot of time together, especially because Keiko, God bless her, made sure he spent time away from home. They’d go to the holosuites, play soldier, throw darts, play racquetball, or just sit down and have a drink, catch up on each other’s lives. Well, those drinking sessions tended to be more Miles telling Julian what was happening in his family, his cousin who recently had his first son, his aunt’s excitement over getting a new dog, and him nodding along before telling Miles about a paper he was working on. Maybe, if it was the right time, Julian would talk about some guy or gal he had spent the night with, but that didn’t make for much conversation, and Miles wasn’t a gritty details kind of person.

It was annoying, to be entirely honest. They were best friends! Why didn’t his best friend trust him with knowledge of his family? Didn’t trust him with knowledge of anything, really. He knew a few snippets of the man’s childhood, of his life before the station. He had some ideas of what his parents must be like, to create someone so bright, but there were no pictures around. He didn’t even think Julian had visited home since taking his position on board.

Beyond that, he felt, just sometimes, like Julian didn’t trust him. There were habits he had, things he’d do, that he seemed to cover without a second thought. It wasn’t something he picked up on until they got closer, but it was true. He seemed to try to keep a tight hold on his emotions, trying to give the best reaction he could in any specific instance, only for a fit of passion to make him lose it. He behaved like this even when it was just the two of them.

It made Julian feel inauthentic, which he knew was a little harsh, but having spent years on a ship with a literal android, it felt accurate. He got outright robotic at times, working through medical emergencies with efficiency and focus and a tad bit more straightforwardness than needed, and then incredibly human, having no fear of talking back to Sisko if he didn’t agree with a plan or getting outright angry if people needlessly endanger others.

It gave a man whiplash, and was the basis of an awful lot of discussions with Keiko. Luckily for him, she was the most graceful person he’d ever met, answering everything smoothly and, generally, with little judgement.

They had been folding laundry, when a particular one of Julian’s habits came up.

“I don’t know what it is. He’ll look straight at ya, talk fine, but the moment he starts to get excited about something, he looks everywhere else.” Miles let out a long sigh, dropping the shirt he had been folding.

“Do you pay attention when he’s talking? He could be embarrassed.” “No, it’s not like that. I’ve seen him embarrassed, this is different. It’s like the part of his brain that tells you to look at someone when talking to them switches off. He looks around me. The wall behind, the ceiling, just off to the corner. Like talking about what he likes and making eye contact can’t happen at the same time.” Keiko nodded, voice gentle, and a little chastising. “I guess I’ve noticed that when he comes over for dinner. It doesn’t matter that much though, Miles. Not a big deal.”

He shrugged a shoulder after a moment, picking the shirt back up. He knew better than to fight that tone. “Yeah, guess you’re right.” He went back to folding, letting the topic drop.

It didn’t leave his mind, though. He thought maybe he’d get an answer out of Julian, but he had no idea how to touch this topic without making him shut down. Neither of them were the talking about their feelings type, and for something as seemingly simple as this, he didn’t want to run the risk of striking a nerve. What if it was actually related to some horrible thing in his childhood and that was why he didn’t talk about his folks? No, he needed to wait until he could get an honest, straightforward answer.

A week later, the two of them were at Julian’s, a bottle and a half of synthohol down the hatch and a giggly mood blanketing them. Julian was prattling on about some conference he was going to in a couple of months, facing everywhere but Miles. This was the mood he had been aiming for, where Julian was chatty and excited, not far gone enough to get emotional. It was difficult to get him to shut up like this. After a little while, Julian trailed, a lull settling, and Miles sat up to refill both of their drinks. “I-, I got a question for you.” Julian hummed from his spot on the floor, looking up. “I might have an answer.” He still didn’t meet Miles’ eyes, taking a pull from his drink. He seemed to be focused on a spot just above Miles, something he wouldn’t have noticed if it wasn’t for their close proximity or the fact that it was on his mind.

“Why d’you, y’know, look past me when you’re talking?”

“What?” His eyes snapped back down to meet his, and Miles hurried to make his stance clear, pointing a finger at Julian. “That! I mentioned it and you met my eyes. I don’t give a shit about where you look at me, but why do you not make eye contact?” At the lack of an accusation, Julian seemed to relax a little, shoulders dropping from where they had tensed. “Oh. It’s just, another thing to focus on. If I can forgo that, I can think about other parts of the conversation.” What? That barely made sense, and Miles just stared for a moment and forced the fuzzy from the synthohol to fade a little. He wanted to make sure he understood properly. “What does that mean?”

“Oh, you know.” Julian waved a hand, taking another drink before realizing the confusion on the other’s face. “Things like-, well, alright.” He placed the drink down and turned his body to face Miles properly. “You know how when you’re talking to someone, you have all these.. these rules to follow, yes?”

Miles was not entirely sure where this was going, but nodded anyway to see. “Which rules?”

“Alright, ah..” Julian tapped his fingers where they were resting on his knees before perking up. “Things like when it’s your turn for conversation, or what words to use so you don’t sound pretentious, how to stand so you don’t come across as non-cooperative, when to nod or shake your head or make a sound but not speak, keeping track of your expression! That sort of rules. Eye contact is just another one of them, and plenty of people don’t notice if you don’t look at them directly. So I can, I can bend that rule, and focus on other things.” He smiled, small but genuine, a little hesitant. Like some part of him felt like he had overdone it. “Does, that make sense?”

Not in the slightest. “Yeah. Do you, have rules for other things?” He was almost scared of the answer, but he’d finally got Julian talking. He wouldn’t let it go now.

Julian scoffed, smirking up at Miles. “Do I have rules..” He shook his head with such a fond expression, bringing the cup to his lips. “Of course I do. You don’t have rules?”

“Nope.” Maybe it was a little blunt. “Huh.” There was just a little too long of a pause while they both took a drink, Miles trying to get back some of that inebriation he had shaken off, but he was dying of curiosity, he had to ask. “What other, rules do you have?” He heard some smart remark about a cat. Julian sighed, tilting his head back to thump softly on the couch as he thought. “I don’t know all of them! Some of them are just things I do. I have a schedule I stick to, I like to know when things are happening. Obviously I plan for things to go wrong, but I try to keep some kind of normalcy. Socializing has a lot of rules, I’m not amazing at all of them. Like other people’s reactions, the implications! I can’t read them well, so I’ve tried to learn the rules so I will be able to. There’s a lot of rules about what people don’t like, so I try to follow those more.”

Miles nodded properly, now understanding a little more, before it struck him. “Wait, are you following rules around me?” “Of course I am. You actually have some of your own rules.” He had no idea if he was flattered or insulted. “Isn’t that tiring?” “Oh, incredibly.” Julian shrugged his shoulders. “But people aren’t very fond of me when I don’t follow the rules, so, I follow them. I learn them. I practice, even. Conversations, expressions, tone, so people are more comfortable. And then I have my personal rules that are just for my comfort.”

“Like what?” He thought for a moment, furrowing his brows and pursing his lips. “The lights in my quarters are always set to 80%, the temperature is 20°C, but I move it up or down some if, say, Garak is in my quarters as he likes warmer climates. I only have specific fabrics I allow, there’s certain ways things need to be kept organized. It makes me feel calmer, knowing everything has a place for it to go, and a way for it to exist.”

Miles remembered something about how people in their professions tended to like control, as their jobs brought a lack of it. It was common. This felt different though, for some reason. “How long have you had these rules?” Julian blew out a long breath, eyes scrunching up now before his expression relaxed as he drew a conclusion. “I’m not sure. Forever, I suppose. Long as I can remember. I’ve just gotten better at following them.”

Miles decided that was where the conversation needed to end. Not that Julian seemed terribly uncomfortable talking about this, but Miles was. Something about the idea of being so seemingly off center from everything that you self-impose rules to make everyone around you sated, it didn’t sit right with him. It made him feel controlling, like he made Julian change himself so they would be friends.

Hadn’t he, though? Made Julian change himself to be digestible? That thought made his stomach cramp uncomfortably, and he quickly washed it down with more drink and a teasing mumble of “you’re weird” to Julian, who laughed in turn and let their conversation drift back to safer topics.

That’s all it ever was with them, usually.

[unopposablethumbsao3]

This is the garashir dynamic though

the purpose of friends is to have people who unconditionally hate your shitty exes & relatives. like maybe YOU have a complex relationship with your father but i sure don't. i'm outside his house with a gun. he's not the unforgivable asshole who raised me he's just an unforgivable asshole

[walkingstackofbooks]

We all know Richard and Amsha were awful parents in DBIP, but here are some things that stuck out to me when I re-watched it:

(You may recognise this as a series of posts I made last year - sorry, I just found them and wanted to collect them all in one place! 😊)

1. Richard's insecurity over Julian's enhancements

Over time, I've come to assume that this was more in my head than in canon. But not, it's right there on the screen and it makes me furious. A long time ago, I mused that Julian's image of himself as "unnatural" might have come from the unknowing, offhand comments of playground bullies, but actually... from these conversations, I think Richard himself could well have described Julian's intelligence as "unnatural" during his childhood.

"We're not as bright as he is. We don't have your gifted intellect so we can't see the perfectly obvious." "You're so smart. You know so much that you can stand there and judge us. But you're still not smart enough to see that we saved you from a lifetime of remedial education and underachievement!"

He just cannot stand Julian being able to hold his own in an argument. His own intelligence is such a point of pride that he cannot allow his son to be smarter than him, despite him literally desigining Julian that way. He claims that genetic enhancements are nothing to be ashamed of - that, if anything Julian's "a little more" human for them - yet he's constantly putting Julian down for using his intellet in any way that Richard disagrees with. ("You could've done research back on Earth. I told you that five years ago." AS THOUGH JULIAN DIDN'T KNOW THAT.)

2. Richard's arguing tactics

It managed to surprise me, somehow, how it really is Richard instigating the arguments, with Julian making sarcastic reponses for as long as he can before he resorts to yelling. In both conversations, however, once Julian starts shouting it's made to seem like he's the one being unreasonable. And honestly, I don't think it's an overstatement to call it gaslighting.

In the first conversation, when Julian storms out, Richard calls after him "No, let him go. He can barely stand to be in the same room with us!" - implying that there's no good reason why Julian should want to leave (there is), and that it's Julian's fault for getting angry with them, rather than being based on their actions. He also repeatedly twists Julian's words, making them into attacks against him, implying that Julian is selfish and thoughtless ("We could go to prison, Jules. Have you ever thought about that?") in a way that's either completely unevidenced -- or, again, dismissive of any grounds Julian might have even if it were true. (RICHARD: You don't trust us? AMSHA: He didn't say that, Richard. RICHARD: No, but that's what he meant, isn't it? You think we're going to slip up, say the wrong thing, get us all in trouble.)

Later on, when they're discussing what they're going to do about the reveal, Richard tells Julian "You'd better change that attitude right now if you want to hang on to your career!" and "Well you'd better grow up right now or you're going to lose everything!". At this point, Julian's made it quite clear that he doesn't want to go through the courts, yet Richard insists on continuing to portray this as something Julian needs to do for himself, rather than something that Richard wants to do. And Julian calls him out on it -- "You mean, you're going to lose everything"... But how many arguments did he have to try to fight as a child before he learnt to spot Richard's blame is misplaced?

Other rotten implications in this scene:

the idea that Julian's being childish for taking the decision to resign form Starfleet rather than fight any judgement that came his way (it's not);

that even his "gifts" don't make him as clear-sighted and smart as Richard (gah, see part 1);

and through it all, again, that he's the one being unreasonable.

3. Amsha's manipulations

Oh, she's just awful. First off, it was really noticeable how much she forces Julian to hug or touch her -- the first scene in Sisko's office, in particular, when he's so clearly uncomfortable.

And then she tries to make herself into this mediator, but she's not a good one. She loves Richard -- she talks about his stacks of drawings like their endearing, she's very affectionate with him, and while she will say something if she thinks he's going to far, I don't think it's necessarily because she disagrees with him, but because she knows how he said it will send Julian away. But she also is, in a way, happy to make out that Richard is the "bad parent" to keep her position as the neutral, loving parent intact. She makes Richard 'apologise', she takes none of the blame for the genetic engineering -- once again, I am going to call this behaviour gaslighting. Amsha is constantly manufacturing this image of her own reasonableness and love for Julian as opposed to his father's tendency to fly off the handle, and this is supposed to absolve her of any reponsibility she has for neglecting Julain's needs.

In my view, Amsha only interested in making Julian return her "love" for him (and to a lesser extent, Richard's too). In that second conversation, she initially makes a small plea for him to "listen to his father" (causing Julian to physically move away from her hand on his shoulder) -- and then allows them to continue with their argument, until it gets to the point where Julian implies they're both unloving. Her anger clearly takes Julian aback; she's the one here who attacks his feelings as unreasonable and makes him back down into silence. And then her entire argument is all about her feelings. To paraphrase: "Watching you struggle made me feel bad."

Then she says this: "You can condemn us for what we did. You can say it's illegal or immoral or whatever you want to say, but you have to understand that we didn't do it because we were ashamed, but because you were our son and we loved you."

i.e: "I know you think it was wrong, and I'll even let you say that, but you are not allowed to think that we don't love you."

And if Julian has to believe that his parents' motive was their love for him, then, actually... is he really allowed to condemn them? Or is that just lip service, again, to make Amsha sound reasonable and accommodating?

4: Their 'apologies'

Both times after they argue, his parents then approach him to apologise/make amends. I've always previously assumed this was abnormal for them due to the situation, but I'm starting to wonder if actually this was quite a regular pattern that Julian grew up with. Both his parents clearly want to see themselves as "good people", and so I can imagine them feeling the need to make these lip-service apologies that --presumably, if he's made these same arguments to them before -- end up meaning very little.

Did he learn as a child that shouting was the only way to get them to listen, if only for a little while? Is he used to apologies lasting only for a short while before his parents return to the status quo?

There are imo a number of factors leading to his unusually impassioned defence of his father in the final scene, but I think this could play into it. Agreeing to go to prison is the kind of apology Richard can't just take back a few days/weeks/months later when he starts to remember how 'unreasonable' Jules was being and wonder why he agreed to it when he was in the right. I can imagine one of Julian's first thoughts being "what happens when he changes his mind?"

(Also, it has to be mentioned how shit an apology the first one was. "It's a stressful time for all of us and maybe I said some things I shouldn't have." MAYBE?? Fuck you. Really.)

[Heading towards headcanon territory: Amsha's behaviour, as previously discussed, is another reason why I wouldn't be surprised if the argument-apology model was frequent, because whether or not she's consciously aware of her manipulation, it's an excellent way to control Julian's feelings. It gives her the power of being the mediator; it puts Julian in the position of either accepting it and showing forgiveness, or sounding unreasonable. We never see his actual reaction to their 'apology', but we know they don't think there's anything too unusual about the hologram simply standing there - and Amsha feels quite at ease to reward her unresponsive 'son' with a kiss. Idk, but it seems like they expect Julian to reluctantly accept their apology, and even if he doesn't, they're now in position to absolve themselves of any reponsibility because 'at least we tried'.]

5: Their disregard for Julian's wants

I feel like the previous points have covered this to an extent, but there's a big one which, previously, I've managed to overlook.

At the end of the second conversation, Amsha, in all her reasonableness, finally seems to start listening to Julian. She's shared her feelings, assured him they love him, and asks him "What do you want to do?", to which he, of course, responds with a weary "Nothing".

AND THEN THEY COMPLETELY DISREGARD THIS.

AND THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE THE BASIS FOR JULIAN'S FORGIVENESS OF THEM?!

I mean, luckily for Julian, it worked out. But they had no basis to assume that Sisko could do anything, and they had no right to go behind Julian's back in the way that they did!

And this is something I've said before, but I also HATE how it's framed that Richard is going to prison "in exchange" for Julian's career. Why should Julian have to bear any of the responsibility for Richard going to prison, when it was Richard's choice to do something illegal that carries a prison sentence? But as it is, Julian would presumably be portrayed as unreasonable if, after this 'sarifice', he didn't forgive his parents and 'accept their love'. Gahhhhhhh. It's just another, horrible manipulation -- and while I don't believe his parents had that much power over how it played out, they must have been going into Sisko's office with some sort of similar agenda on the cards.

["He pleads guilty to illegal genetic engineering and in exchange you stay in the service."

Writing this post, and thinking about this quote, has started me wondering how exactly the conversation went down, because "I'll come quietly if you let him stay in Starfleet" isn't exactly a flex. Unless, of course, Richard has threatened to make this a very embarrassing, public, courtroom drama for Starfleet if the plea deal isn't made -- exactly the type of fuss Julian explicitly didn't want.

I know that Sisko's very good at making his case, and it might all have been his influence. But I can't help wondering if that was the only reason "Richard pleading guilty" would be seen as a good enough reason to acquit Julian, when whether he did or not, they now have evidence of his wrongdoing.]

[sarking]

10 things for 10 people you’d like to know better!

tagged by @serenabenson

last song: Friday is kind of a blur, so I'm not actually sure. On the radio during one of the attempts to get home from the vet, I know I heard a Taylor Swift song from 1989 (or was it Lover? or both?) and that incredibly annoying Sabrina Carpenter song (narrow it down less, I know). I also heard an early 2000s era Fall Out Boy song (not Sugar, We're Going Down, but I can't remember what) playing in the back at the vet's office. I think the Fall Out Boy song was last because I was not in the mood for the radio on the way home the second time. (It's fine; one of the kittens had a vaccine reaction and we were barely home before I had to scoop him up and take him back for some steroids and benadryl.)

last book: The Mermaid of Black Conch. I have been reading it since July 15. So that's how that's going. I should go back to The Things They Carried, which I started reading during the Bush (dubya) administration.

last movie: Does Martha count? And the number of times I think about it every week is not going down. She tries to sell me kitty litter and I think about her relationship with her father. I have to prune my black raspberry bushes and I think about her moving into dilapidated houses. I watch the news and I think about how someone should arrange for her and Hillary Clinton to get five minutes in room with James Comey. I see an add for that Lumi deodorant and I think about her talking about going to the gynecologist before going to prison. Do you see. It does not stop. Martha, Martha, Martha.

last tv show: Did I watch DS9 last night before bed? Maybe? If not that, SVU.

favorite color: Yellow.

sweet, savory, or spicy: Can I mix the sweet and spicy, please? (I had Chili Honey Garlic Salmon Bowls for dinner, except in plate form.)

relationship status: Single.

last thing i googled: The title of the book I read to make sure I wasn't missing a word and Comey's first name, tbh. Before that, AVP to DFW flights.

current obsession: Garak/Bashir. Or more specifically, Garak and Bashir and their parents. How did Enabran Tain and Amsha and Richard Bashir, operating in different cultures and from different motivations, manage to fuck up their kids in such a way that they'd be perfect for each other? How much would they hate it? And can I get 125k of slow burn fake dating to piss off the Bashirs during an unwanted visit, only for Tain to show up on the station and complicate matters dramatically?

looking forward to: The green shelves were outside the home improvement store the other day and had a big "Bonnie plants coming soon" sign hanging on them, so I am looking forward to plants. Also, to the flower on my split rock opening. (I bought it with the flower; I am not good at keeping split rocks alive.) To wearing shorts, or at least not a winter coat and dark colors. To setting up the pool and wearing the bathing suits I got for Christmas, even though I have forgotten what they look like. To the fact it will be daylight even later tomorrow than it was today.

tagging: @malkaleh, @peapods42, @winged-mammal, @momentia, @jesidres, @catelyngrant, @missparker, @funkasarusrex, @programmedradly, @zz9pzza

[cucumbermoon]

Star Trek is awesome for exploring all the ways that people can be bad parents. I don’t say that facetiously; I mean it. There are a lot of ways to screw up as a parent, even when you have the highest hopes and the best intentions, and Star Trek explores that topic with depth and finesse.

I can not stress enough that in Star Trek, Amanda Grayson being an incredibly loving wife AND shitty parent is a feature, not a bug. She loves Sarek with her whole heart. And as much as she loves Spock, every single time she has to choose between them, she'll back Sarek. Spock grew up knowing his mom loved him, but that she also did not understand him and would never have his back.

Before people in the mainstream even had the vocabulary to describe what they were seeing, they understood on a gut level that Spock was a neurodivergent, mixed race adult son of two incredibly charismatic and successful parents.

There are so many layers of relatability here.

A surprising lot of people in very loving and devoted marriages aren't great parents. An unsurprising lot of powerful people with prestigious careers also aren't great parents.

Folks who grew up with parents who were great at their jobs and devoted to one another but who just couldn't relate to or understand their kids could see themselves in Spock. Moreover, he demonstrated that if they took a path radically different from what their parents wanted, they could become incredibly successful and even well liked in a whole different sphere.

Most of all, for folks who could see how much their parents adored one another but never felt like that love extended to them, there is something profound in the way Kirk looks at Spock like he hangs the stars in the sky. He's a source of hope that even if you grew up as your family's ugly duckling, if you get out from under their influence you can find someone who will perceive you as a swan.

[bijoumikhawal]

I am #projecting but Amsha and Richard are both exactly the kind of parents to tell their kids shit like "never write anything down you don't want seen by a judge" and to have like. Extended conversations about that nature of outsider perception and decontextualization SPECIFICALLY to maintain control over their kid

[youngpettyqueen]

Miles calling Julian 'Jules' one (1) time is probably a writing fuck up and yet it lives rent free in my head 24/7 and its gotten to the point where I do need to write a super niche fic about my hyper specific headcanons about how that comes about that maybe 2 other people would read

I have visions of a Rascals-esque episode where Julian gets de-aged due to a time anomaly or some fuckshit but unlike Rascals Julian is just fully a 5 year old. no memories of his adulthood or anything. pre-augmentations, pre-enhancements, pre-everything little Jules Bashir is now on the station and they've gotta deal with it. and I mean, who better to care for Jules than Miles and Keiko- who are both very good parents, and also they've dealt with this sort of thing before

this entire thing is self-indulgent on every level because I want an excuse to get into my really specific headcanons with Julian and disability. like we know I hc Julian as being audhd. but as a kid, as Jules, I think he was non-verbal. I also think he had dyspraxia. he doesnt name anything when he talks about what he was like pre-augmentations, he keeps it vague, and leaning into that I think Miles would only have a vague idea of what to expect when interacting with Jules, and he finds himself completely unprepared for what Jules is actually like. and also trans Julian supremacy and I dont think he really tells people he's trans so Miles is also not expecting Jules to be a 5 year old girl

I imagine Miles is maybe expecting Jules to be very similar to Julian and to be very chatty and extroverted, but more awkward, and maybe just not understanding a lot of things. instead, Jules doesnt speak beyond a few words and vocalizations. she moves constantly, but its mostly fidgeting and stimming- she doesnt like to walk, and shes very clumsy and bumps into things and falls down a lot. Miles and Keiko spend most of the time carrying her around on their hips, like they would Molly. she doesnt like being around lots of people, and is very easily overwhelmed. they figure out very quickly that shes a very good hider, because she scares the absolute shit out of them when she takes off and it takes a solid 3 hours to find her

they do figure things out pretty quickly. she gets overwhelmed by noise easily, so Miles has some headphones replicated for her- smaller versions of the ones he has for ear protection. Jules communicates mostly through body language, pointing at things and smacking things and grunting a lot, but they cant figure out what she means. Keiko roots through her old school supplies and gets Jadzia to turn a PADD into a communication device. Jules absolutely fucking LOOOOVES the PADD and they make a strap for it so that she can carry it everywhere. turns out shes very inquisitive- shes constantly using the PADD to ask 'whats that? what's that? what's that?' about basically everything

the thing they have the hardest time with is that things dont stick easily for Jules. Miles and Keiko are answering the same questions over and over, but she just cant retain a lot of what shes taught. she gets things mixed up a lot, and is confused easily. she cant read at all and has a hard time figuring out what pictures are depicting. the PADD is very helpful, but also very basic with visuals, because Jules just cant comprehend words or more complex visuals. she gets frustrated really easily and cries, and its really hard to calm her down. she has a lot of sensory issues and cant communicate exactly what upsets her about how things feel, leading to a lot of trial and error, and several thrown utensils and spilled plates and bowls

still, Miles and Keiko handle it all. Jules feels safest with Miles and clings to him a lot. he does a lot of his work during this time with Jules in one arm, her headphones on, big curious eyes watching him work. but, in the evenings, when Jules is tired, she curls up close to Keiko on the couch, and Keiko strokes her short hair, while Jules runs her hands over the soft material of Keiko's skirt. Jules and Molly get along- they dont play together, but Molly will read little stories to Jules, and makes silly voices that make Jules laugh. Jules is so gentle with Kirayoshi- she won't hold him, but she gently strokes his hair, and hums at him, and Keiko recognizes the lullaby shes trying to echo

sure, she isnt the easiest child. but at the end of the day, accommodating her isnt the hardest thing Miles and Keiko have ever done. Miles thinks back to how Julian described himself as a kid, thinks about the fuss his parents made about how they couldnt deal with the guilt and heartbreak of watching their child fall behind. he thinks of after that, Julian quietly wondering if maybe his parents were just trying to make things easier for him. maybe they did have good intentions. he's wondered the same thing himself. maybe in their own way, they thought they were doing the right thing

he's thinking about this while he's holding Jules, curled up against him and asleep. he's barely slept these last few days, he's about at wit's end trying to handle all of this, he misses his Julian and he wants him back. but when he looks at Jules, theres no resentment. he isnt even annoyed. she drives him up a wall, but shes a kid- thats her job in life. as for the cognitive piece, well. they can figure all that out if they need to. he laughs at himself a bit- thinking ahead about Jules' future already, those dad instincts kicking in. doesnt hurt to be prepared, he tells himself. just in case

it occurs to him, as he's dozing off himself, that genetic enhancement and DNA re-sequencing dont cross his mind. not once. and when he looks at Jules with tired eyes, feels the peaceful rise and fall of her back under his hand, he finds that he cant imagine himself doing it. cant imagine taking this child in, and telling people how to cut and paste and re-arrange her DNA. he cant imagine wanting to make her into anything but the child she already is. he cant imagine thinking that she was so difficult, so far behind, that she had to be changed into an entirely different person. he loves Julian, he wouldnt change Julian for anything, but he finds himself loving Jules, too. he wouldnt change her, either. not a single thing

Keiko sees the anger behind his eyes when they put Jules to bed for the night. she asks him about it after they shut the door. Miles stands at the door for a moment, thinking about that little kid inside that he cant save from what's to come. and he just tells Keiko- "Richard and Amsha Bashir can go to hell."

[worflesbian]

reverse unpopular opinion..... worf as a father/his relationship with alexander :)

ZOE. you knew exactly what you were doing sending this to me thank you SO much <3

i genuinely believe that worf and alexander's relationship is a really strong storyline and one of the best examples of a less-than-perfect parent/child dynamic in star trek. i've talked a lot about how worf was put in an incredibly difficult position suddenly becoming a single parent in early next gen, and i think his various ensuing failures towards alexander are realistic and accurate to his situation, and give insight into his flaws as a character (i.e. the stuff of compelling tv). the fact that worf seeks deanna's help throughout the following seasons is a crucial indication that he doesn't want to be failing his son the way he is, but the way he often ignores or struggles to follow her advice is, as mentioned, a realistic depiction of how people don't change overnight. by the end of next gen, episodes like firstborn show how much worf has changed for the better as a parent -- he's not perfect, but he's trying, and over the years it's paying off. and i Love how painfully true to life that is!!

this is why i used to resent that alexander was so absent from ds9 - i felt like things were finally looking up for their relationship at the end of next gen, and then the ds9 writers wrote alexander out again. however, i actually just rewatched way of the warrior this morning and it kind of changed my mind when miles asks about alexander and worf says that he's "much happier living with his grandparents on earth" - it's the kind of line that seems innocuous but has SO many implications when you dig into it! worf doesn't realise that he's fucking up by abandoning his son because he genuienly believes that alexander is happiest when he's not with worf. it's the root of worf's parenting struggles from the start: he's so scared of failing that he can't bring himself to confront the ways he's actually failing. which again is painfully true to life!

i think the thing i love most about their relationship is alexander's return in sons and daughters. i've talked a lot about that episode but i just can't think of another time on star trek where they've shown a child confront their parent with their failings and how awfully they've hurt them and show not only the process of that parent realising what they've done, but the genuine apology and reconciliation that follows. i think alexander gets the kind of admission of guilt and acceptance of consequence from worf that odo deserved, but could never realistically get, from dr mora, or julian from richard and amsha bashir. i love it because it shouldn't be on alexander to step up and confront his father, but a lot of things have happened to the both of them that shouldn't have, and it's so important to me that they show it get messy, that they show worf really lashing out at his own son, before they show the reconciliation. that combination of real hurt and real accountability is what makes them, in my opinion, the best depiction of this kind of dynamic in any trek show i've seen.

[ao3feed-ds9]

작은 세상의 신

https://ift.tt/8Es3bhd by rusblk Exiled from Cardassia and the Federation, Garak and Bashir struggles to find a new life on a foreign planet. Which is full of abandoned Jem'Hadars. Bashir finds something special in them, a possibility for cure, a hope. The original Korean version of "The God of A Little World". The first 3 chapters are translated, which you can find below. Use translators to read the rest of the chapters. Words: 10384, Chapters: 5/10, Language: 한국어 Fandoms: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Categories: M/M Characters: Julian Bashir, Elim Garak, Kira Nerys, Original Characters, Jem'Hadar Characters (Star Trek) Relationships: Julian Bashir/Elim Garak Additional Tags: Post-Canon, but not Cardassia, two exiles together, Established Relationship, Richard and Amsha Bashir's A+ parenting, Childhood Trauma, Genetic Engineering, Dubious Science, Adventure, Fluff, Minor Character Death, mad scientist Julian Bashir, Dubious Ethics, Happy Ending

[reigen131]

Named cast for Forty-Seven Digits of Pi (as of May 2025), loosely in the order of their first appearance or mention:

Felix Knightly, the narrator

Julian Bashir, protagonist in absentia

Palis Delon, the deuteragonist

Ezri Dax, the messenger

ACT I

James "Jay" Knightly, Felix's father

Raquel Herrera Knightly, Felix's mother

Richard & Amsha Bashir, Julian's parents

Aksel Korinzis, Felix's brother

Miguel Herrera López, Felix's cousin

ACT II

Arsène Delon, Palis' father

Shelerib "Erit" th'Zharath, Julian's friend

Irinna Delon, Palis' mother

Eléonore & Célestine Delon, Palis' half-sisters

Elizabeth Lense, Palis' friend

INTERLUDE

Emily-Claire Gariépy, Palis' coworker

Elim Garak, the enigma

ACT III

Fritz, the businessman

Leeg, Fritz's manager

Nog, the catalyst

vicfontaine_2, the blueprint

Kasidy Yates-Sisko, the respite

Felix Knightly, the reflection

Zetta, Fritz's associate

[therealsubobscura]

as someone with both, I think Richard has an extra element of narcissism and/or psychopathy that neither ADHD or bipolar accounts for on their own. there's nuts, and then there's "drop a ton of money genetically engineering my already grown kid into a different person" level of detachment from seeing Julian as a separate person and autonomous human.

and by the 24th century, I really hope they've developed subdermal slow release mood stabilizers that take out the element of remembering to take your Very Important meds 🙃🫠

out of curiosity, does anyone Armchair Diagnoses Richard Bashir as having ADHD or a mood disorder, what with the fleeting interests and inability to hold on a job for long plus apples (Jules' neurodivergence) not falling far from trees (could run in the family)? or is that terribly reductive?