#RivendellRejectsBadGrammar

[not-glorfindel-stop-asking]

Girl bye, no ones give a sh*t about this damn blog. How about you get a life?

Ah.

Ah.

Dearest Anonymous,

It seems you’ve graced us with a message crafted in the depths of your clearly demanding schedule. But in your haste to deliver this... thought-provoking message, you neglected the basic tenets of grammar. Allow me to assist:

"No one gives a sh*t," not "no ones give."

Plurality, darling.

The difference between addressing an audience and exposing your own lack of education. 💅✨

But let us consider your claim. No one gives a sht?* And yet—here you are.

Reading. Commenting. Emotionally invested. I would say that’s rather contradictory behavior for someone who, allegedly, does not care. Curious, no? 🤔

I, Lindir of Rivendell, do not need a "life," as you so eloquently suggested. I have one—filled with music, poetry, cultural refinement, and, apparently, the burden of correcting the linguistic crimes of anonymous internet trolls. Truly, a heavy crown. 👑🎻

It appears you’ve chosen violence and grammatical errors today. Bold of you. Truly, the sheer audacity of modern discourse is enough to send me spiraling back into my fainting spell. 😩✨ I can barely clutch my pearls through the shock.

But before I retire once more to my chaise longue (in utter distress, mind you), I must ask: Shall I send you a few grammar courses? Perhaps a charming workbook? Flashcards? A soothing audiobook narrated slowly—for your benefit, of course. I’d be delighted to assist. Consider it my contribution to the betterment of Middle-earth. 💅📚

After all, “no ones give” is such a tragic construction. Is “ones” your multiple personalities trying to agree on one opinion? Because from where I’m standing—graceful, radiant, literate—it seems like you give quite a lot. You clicked. You read. You commented. The investment! The passion! The commitment to contradiction! 🤡✨

But alas, I have no time for amateurs. My life here in Rivendell is far too glamorous, far too refined. I must return to sipping herbal tea and practicing flawless harmonies—things you wouldn’t understand.

Do feel free to ponder your own contradictions in my absence. Or don’t. I can’t imagine self-awareness comes easily.

Sincerely, ✨ Lord Lindir, Minstrel of Rivendell, Keeper of Grace, Still Not a Twink ✨