#SO I DRAFTED A REPLY N FORGOT ABOUT IT FOR A COUPLE OF WEEKS IM SORRY | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

bella-spil · 5 years ago

Text

The Game

You and the rest of the Avengers play Cards Against Humanity.

Female reader.

Warnings: TONS of adult topics, TONS of cursing, a little bit of fluff (Don't read if you don't like adult topics)

Word count: 6.2k (sry that this is a longer one!)

A/N: sorry this took so long. I had it saved as a draft, but then my account logged out and I had to retype the whole thing. I hope you like it!!!!

@wednesday-add-em @angrythingstarlight if you wanna be tagged lmk.

"What game would that be, Parker?" Nat asked, suspicious.

"You'll find out if you chose to play," Peter declared.

As everyone else in the room started to wonder what "game" Peter was referring to, you Bucky and Sam were grinning at each other, knowing exactly what's gonna happen. You start daydreaming all the possibilities that might happen, from funny scenarios in the cards to people arguing about who won. They all seem great, but you knew it would be better once everyone would start playing.

"Actually," Wanda announced, getting up from her seat. "I'm pretty tired from the mission and the jet lag. I'm gonna call it a night."

"I am quite exhausted as well," Vision said, pushing his seat in. "I need a rest as well. Goodnight everyone."

"Congrats Y/N and Bucky!" Wanda shouted before she left the room, with Visions hand in hers.

"Wait, how can the android be tired?" Clint asked. Then everyone in the room knew what the two avengers were going to be doing tonight.

"WE KNOW YOU TWO ARE GOING TO FUCK TONIGHT!!!" Tony screamed at them. Wanda heard Tony and flipped him off, still walking to her room with Vision. Everyone at the table was laughing from Tonys antics, but you knew everyone might lose their voices by the end of tonight.

"So," Peter interrupted the laughing. "Is anyone else going to leave to fuck?"

All the avengers look at one another, seeing if anyone else would dare to get up from the table. Nobody made a move, except for Steve who just squirmed in his seat, knowing he wasnt going to leave for fucking. He wasn't the best in moments where there was something inappropriate involved, but he had a feeling that's what tonight would be full of. So he decided to man up and stand his ground.

"I dont think Im gonna fuck anybody tonight, unless Nat says so," Sam acknowledged. Nat rolled her eyes at him and kicked him underneath the table. Sam shifted in his seat, tears building up like a bomb about to explode. Nat smiled to herself, not letting anyone get suspicious of her in any way.

"Lets go kid," Tony said.

"Alright then," Peter smiled. "Everyone, follow me."

Everyone followed Peter and got up from the table. As they were following Peter, some of the avengers were whispering to one another. They had no clue about what was happening, which made everything more exciting. As they made their way to the living room, the game was already set up by Peter. The cards were arranged neatly onto the coffee table into piles with little tags on top of them so everyone knew what they were for. You patted Peter on the back to show how thankful you were for him.

He smiled back at you and whispered, "You owe me for this."

Then you glared at him and lit your hand on fire and shoved it in Peter's face.

"No, I don't think I do," you replied, smugly. Peter gulped and inches away from you, not wanting to have his ass kicked before the game even started. As you and Peter were bickering, the others behind you, except for Bucky, realized what the game was. You could hear sighs of realization behind you and internally grinned. You knew keeping them guessing would pay off in the long run.

"Oh, so we are playing this game?" Tony chuckled.

"Now I know why you and Parker were acting weird." Nat said, smiling at you.

"Told you you'd find out." you said.

"Ok are we playing in teams or going rogue?" Clint asked.

"In teams," Peter answered. "Me and y/n already came up with teams of two and team names."

"Oh god," Clint and Nat sigh while Tony is rolling his eyes. Sam snickers, thinking team names are for little kids but Steve is looking at the cards, not knowing what they are.

"Wait, guys. What is this game?" Steve questioned. Everyone rolls their eyes at him and sighs. Steve was very outdated, and even though he has been in modern times for about a decade now, he still had a ton of catching up to do.

"What?" Steve groaned. "Ive been frozen for 70 years. Give me a break!"

"Steve, you're not the only one that's a bit outdated. You have had a few more years to catch up then I have and I still know what this is." Bucky protested, earning a snicker from everyone else on the team while Steve rolled his eyes and lightly punched Bucky in the arm.

"Mr. Rogers," F.R.I.D.A.Y. chimed in. "Do you know the game Apples to Apples?"

"Yeah why?" Steve asked the A.I.

"Well, Cards Against Humanity is basically that game. The only difference is that Cards Against Humanity is for a more mature audience."

"That's a good way of putting it," Tony mocked.

"Ok thank you F.R.I.D.A.Y.," Steve said. "I'm all good now."

"C'mon guys what are the teams?" Clint asked, getting impatient.

"I hope I'm with Nat." Sam whispered, glancing at Nat once again. Sam winked at her, but she punched him in the arm. Nat liked using physical violence, but only went necessary, or if someone was annoying her, like Sam. Everyone chuckled, but then they drew their attention back to Peter, who was waiting to announce the teams.

"Ok, first is me and Mr. Stark." Peter announced. "We are the Student and Master."

"Kid, if we lose, I will take your suit away for a week." Tony declared as he high fived Peter. Peter gulped and took a seat with Tony around the table. Everyone else was standing up, waiting to hear their name be called.

"Then, we have Steve and Nat, the Spys." you said. Steve and Nat smiled at each other and sat down in front of Tony and Peter. Sam, however, was not impressed and his mouth was to the floor.

"Are you kidding me? Sam shrieked. "You put Star Spangled Banner with Nat?"

"The teams were already made," you shrugged. "If you wanted to be with her so badly, you should have made a request."

"I hate you," Sam retorted. "I hope i'm not with the Wiener Soldier over there."

"Shut it Pigeon," Bucky snapped. You rolled your eyes at the two of them, who were still throwing looks at each other like they were elementary school kids that got into an argument.

"Then me and Bucky are together," you said, taking a seat with the Winter Soldier on the right of Steve and Nat. Everyone made kissy noises and ooed at the two of you as you sat down.

"Wait you forgot the team name!" Clint remembered. You sighed before saying the embarrassing name.

"I didn't come up with the names, Peter did," you said, singling Peter out. "We are the Lovebirds." After you said the team name, everyone continued their antics of making kissing noises and everything else.

"Guess we are together, Clint," Sam realized, since Clint and himself were the last two people standing up. They took their seats on the left of Steve and Nat, making themselves directly across from you and Bucky. It seemed as if they did it on purpose, but you didn't care about that. You were waiting for their reaction to their team name.

"Y/N, what's their team name?" Nat asked. You and Bucky looked at each other, giggling like 5 year olds.

"Peter, would you like to do the honors?" you asked.

Peter sighed, knowing this would end up good, but continued anyway. "The Birdbrains." Everyone started howling in laughter. Sam and Clint looked at each other, then back at Peter, ready to pounce on him like lions.

"I'M GONNA KILL YOU, YOU LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT!!!!" Sam shouted, running after Peter with Clint following suit. Due to his Spidey Sense, Peter was able to dodge the two of them and ran out of the room, followed by an angry Sam and Clint. Steve and Tony ran after them, trying to get the Birdbrains to come to their senses. You and Nat rolled your eyes at each other while Bucky was sitting there chucking.

"Ugh, men," Nat sighed.

You giggled as the five men took their seats. Sam was still annoyed, smoke coming out of his ears. Clint seemed ok, he looked like he enjoyed running after Peter. Peter was laughing, not trying to be rude, but he was trying to control himself.

"Im gonna kill you," Sam said.

"Sure Birdbrain," Peter smirks.

As everyone gets the laughter out of their systems before the game starts, each team picks seven white cards from the pile. Each team read their cards, giggling at some of them and having to hold in a cackle for others.

"Ok who is going to be the judges first?" Steve asked.

"I mean Y/N and Bucky," Nat responded as if it was obvious. "It's only fair that they go first."

"Ok then," you said, grabbing the first black card of the night. You grabbed the card and read it, and then you started laughing and showed it to Bucky. He laughed as well and the both of you were able to regain your senses to read the card.

"Bucky you wanna read it?" you ask, still smiling.

"Sure," Bucky replied. He cleared his throat before going on to read the card. "Fun tip! When your man asks you to go down on him, try surprising him with ______."

Everyone started to laugh again. But then, everyone's mode shifted from having fun to competition mode. Everyone in the Avengers hated losing anything and tonight was no exception. Each team was in deep discussion with their partners, deciding which card was the best to win the round. After a couple of minutes, each team put their cards in the middle for you and Bucky to read.

"Ok," Bucky cleared his throat again. "Fun tip! When your man asks you to go down on him, try surprising him with..." He stopped to read the first white card. "Drowning kids in the bathtub! Holy shit!" Everyone started laughing, including you. That card was very dark, and very funny.

"When your man asks you to go down on him, try surprising him with… an erection that lasts longer than 4 hours." Everyone lightly chuckled at this one, it wasn't as funny as the first card.

"Lastly, when your man asks you to go down on him, try surprising him with… explaining how viaginas work. Ok this one works for Steve 100%!" Everyone laughed and agreed with Bucky. Steve was smiling, not laughing. He was trying to not show how true that was but it wasn't working out that well for him.

Then you and Bucky turned to one another and discussed who won this round. You whispered for about less than a minute, since there was an obvious winner. Then you and Bucky turned around to the three teams and announced your decision.

"Drowning kids in the bathtub wins!" you declare. Then Peter and Tony cheer and high five each other.

"We did it!" Peter cheered.

"Got ya, suckers!" Tony bragged.

"Wait, how many black cards do you need to win?" Clint asked. You looked at Peter, who shrugged. It was a very good question, and you needed a minute to think about it.

"How about the first team with 10 black cards wins?" you ask. Everyone nodded and the game resumed.

"Ok, Peter, Tony, you judge." Bucky said.

Tony reached up to grab the card. As he read it, he kept snickering. When he finished, he showed Peter the card as he leaned into Peter's shoulder for support. Peter was chuckling as well and leaned on Tony's head. As far as you knew, Tony was very tough with Peter, but now, seeing them all cuddled up together laughing, it proved y9ou very wrong. It took you by surprise, but you loved how cute they were together. Tony was the father figure in Peter's life that he needed, and he was that figure for you as well.

"You wanna read it, Peter?" Tony asked.

"Sure," Peter said. "When I was tripping on acid, ______ turned into ________." Everyone chuckled at how ridiculous the card sounded and started to choose their cards for the round.

"Wait, how will you guys know which card goes first?" Steve asked.

"Put the first card on the top and the second one on the bottom." Peter replied. Steve gave him a thumbs up and continued talking with Nat.

As everyone was choosing their cards, you and Bucky were doing the exact same thing. But in the middle of it, Bucky called you "doll." Normally there's nothing wrong with this, it was something he called you since the two of you met. But Sam was in the room. And he heard it. After Bucky said it, Sam started cackling like a witch. He was rolled over on the floor, clutching to his stomach and tears covering his face. Everyone else looked up and wondered what in the world was so funny, since none of them heard Bucky's nickname for you. You didn't know why he was laughing, but Bucky knew the exact reason. He wasn't going to say anything to draw attention to himself or you. Instead he just gave a death stare at Sam, and nobody noticed.

"Partner, you good down there?" Clint asked, confused. Sam was still laughing as he got up from the floor.

"Yeah," Sam coughed. After he caught his breath, he saw Bucky glaring at him. He waved at Bucky, like he had no clue what he did. When your head was looking at the cards, he flipped Sam off and Sam stuck his tongue out and put his finger by his throat, signaling that Bucky would get it later. Bucky rolled his eyes and returned his attention back to you and the game.

After a couple minutes, three cards were placed in the middle, ready to be read by the Student and Master.

"Everyone hush!!! Tony scolded, and everyone in the room immediately shut up. "Thank you. Kid, you may read the first card."

"Thanks Mr. Stark," Peter said. "When I was tripping on acid, Danny DeVito turned into pixelated bukkake! Oh my god! What the FUCK?" Everyone was clutching on the remaining air that was left in their lungs. All of the teams were laughing to the point where faces were turning purple.

"What does that mean?" Steve quietly asked, not wanting a lecture about how pure he was. But everyone heard since the laughter was dying down, but it resumed once more after what Steve said. It took another couple of minutes for everyone to control themselves again.

"I'll explain later, Steve." Sam reassured. Steve rolled his eyes and let Tony and Peter continue.

"Ok, when I was tripping on acid, blowing my boyfriend so hard he shits turned into incest." Peter continued. He laughed at the end and everyone joined him.

"My turn, shut up!!" Tony barked. "Ahem. When I was tripping on acid, my sex life turned into..." Tony never finished reading the card. His eyes were glued to the last white card. It was like he did not comprehend what was on the card.

"Am I- am I reading this right?" he asked Peter. Peter took a look at the card and he snorted.

"Yeah.. yeah." Peter snickered. "You are reading that right, Mr. Stark."

"Ok I just wanted to make sure i'm not getting too old." Tony said. "When I was tripping on acid, my sex life turned into braiding three penises into a twizzler. Alright, who the fuck thinks this is ok?"

Everyone was cackling and laughing again. Tony was ranting on about how obscene the card was and how that would never work in real life, which was making it harder to stop laughing. Once Tony was finished complaining and asking F.R.I.D.A.Y. if the card was able to actually happen, the laugher subsided and Tony and Peter started deliberating. They took longer than you and Bucky, which made it seem as if it was a close round. Finally, Peter stood up and revealed the winning card.

"Before I announce the winning card, I have a question for Mr. Rogers." Peter announced.

"Sure, Peter. Whats up?" Steve asked.

"Did you understand what the last card meant?" Peter asked. Everyone chuckled lightly. Not that it wasn't funny. Everyone knew if they laughed too hard, they would have a hard time breathing.

Steve rolled his eyes and sighed dramatically before answering the question. "Yes. I understood that reference."

Bucky stood up and started applauding for Steve. He was joined by you, Nat, Tony and the Birdbrains. Steve stood up and took a bow, thanking everyone and waving like a celebrity.

"Thank god you did," Nat sighed in relief.

"Finally, you get something!" Bucky rejoiced.

"This was a close one but the sex life one wins for sure!" Peter said.

Clint and Sam got up again and started to cheer, high fiving and chest bumping. They even did some weird thing that was supposed to be a bird call, since they were the Birdbrains. To you, it sounded like a cat dying in an alleyway from food poisoning. Once they finished their bird call, the Birdbrains sat down and bragged about their first win of the night.

"Yeah yeah! Deal wit dat!" Sam yelled.

"Losers!" Clint cheered, making an "L" with his hand and putting it on his forehead.

"We will see who has the last laugh," Nat grunted.

"Birdbrains!" you chimed in.

"Shut it Lovebirds!" Sam shouted back at the two of you. He went to pick up the next black card. Bucky looked around the room, not knowing why he was blamed and not Nat. Nat smirked at Bucky and Bucky just rolled his eyes. You giggled while Bucky stuck the middle finger back at Sam, for the like the 100th time tonight.

Sam and Clint read the card and started to laugh again, but it wasn't a big one, just a chuckle.

"Hehe. Shut it Clint. I gotta read the card!" Sam scolded. Clint stopped laughing, but his face looked like it was about to explode any minute now as Sam started to read the card.

"White people like _____" Sam read. Everyone giggled and went back to their groups to decide which card would be the best. In a few minutes, each team was ready and placed their cards in the middle.

"We got this one Steve." Nat said.

"Yeah, Nat. Lets go!" Steve cheered as he high fived his partner.

"No, Spys," Tony sighed. "We do because we are the best. No questions needed to be asked. Right kid?"

"Yes sir!" Peter joined in. The two of them fist bumped and made faces at the Spys and Lovebirds.

"Oh be quiet," Bucky sighed. "Let the stupid Birdbrains read the fucking cards." You smiled as Bucky held his arm around you a little tighter than before. You knew Bucky wasn't the most patient person, and it seemed like the Birdbrains were taking as long as possible just to annoy your boyfriend. You knew you would win in the end though. And if you didn't, the Winter Soldier would kick their asses to their graves.

"Thank you. Ahem," Sam cleared his throat. "White people like jerking off into a pool of children's tears. Holy fuck." Everyone laughed at the card, just like all the others before it.

"That's my kind of humor. Continue Sam." Clint chuckled. You knew Clint had a very different sense of humor than most of the people at the Compound. You had become friends with him by understanding his jokes that nobody else understood. Even Peter was able to understand some of Clint humor, which was a shocker to everyone. Clint enjoyed having someone that understood him, even if it was for jokes about drowning kids.

"Next, white people like.." Sam never finished reading the card. He shoved the card in Clints face and walked out of the room to get a breath of fresh air. Clint looked at everyone to see if they knew why he walked out, but you and everyone else were just as lost. Then Clint looked at the card and had an "aha" moment.

"White people like a falcon with a cap on its head." Clint finished. Everyone knew the card wasn't funny. But since Sam's superhero name was "Falcon," it seemed so funny. Bucky was trying very hard not to laugh and so were Steve, Nat and Clint. Peter was about to laugh, but Tony was able to cover Peter's mouth in time. Tony raised his free hand to his mouth, making a "shush" motion. You were sitting there, smirking to yourself since you knew it wasn't the right time to laugh.

Then Sam came back into the room after a couple of minutes. He was clearly upset of something so stupid, which made it even harder not to laugh. Sam was staring at you and Bucky, thinking it was the two of you since Bucky and him were friends, but not really. Sam was eyeing everyone in the room like a hawk, trying to see if anyone had changed their facial expression or something else.

"Sam, you wanna read the last card?" Clint asked.

"No," Sam stated, bluntly. "You read it."

"White people like three dicks at the same time." Clint finished with a light chuckle, and all the other teams followed suit.

"Ok, drowning kids in the bathtub wins." Clint decided, without having to deliberate.

"Agreed." Sam said.

Bucky picked you up in the air and spun you around. He hugged you so tight, you had to tap him so you could breath. As you and Bucky bask in your victory, Sam is still looking at the Student and Master and the Spies. He was being a detective, looking for little details that might lead him to the culprits that put that card down.

"Who put the fucking card down?" Sam asked. All of the sudden, Tony and Peter start laughing out of control. Sam knew those two were the criminals in his crime. He took a deep breath, trying his best not to go over and take Peter down to the ground.

"Im gonna kill you." Sam growled.

"Save it Birdbrain," Nat told off. "First team to ten. Then you can kill them."

"You bet yo ass I will," Sam grunted.

~~~

The rest of the night carried on in a flash. The night was filled with laughter, smiles and cheers as each team won a round. When you started playing, it was around 8:30 pm. But now, it was 11:50 pm. Everyone was definitely tired, as everyone started to yawn and get bags underneath their eyes.

You and Bucky were doing very well together. You guys won a ton of rounds and always celebrated with Bucky hugging you and spinning you around the room. But you weren't tired. The adrenaline from the game was serving as a source of energy, and it was the same source for all the other teams too.

Peter and Tony were doing very well too. They won a couple rounds as well and they always high fived when they won. But whenever they lost, Tony threatened Peter, saying he would take away his suit and suspend him from being an Avenger. And as the night progressed, you and everyone kept forgetting the score for your teams. So Tony asked F.R.I.D.A.Y. to keep track of the score for the rest of the night. And she did, very well.

Sam and Clint were very competitive and sometimes it served in their favor. They won a few like you and Bucky and Peter and Tony. Clint was yawning by 9:50, he wasn't used to staying up late, but he was having fun nonetheless. Sam, however, was full of energy, matching your level. He grabbed tons and tons of candy, ice cream and other junk food as the night progressed, serving as a food and energy source for all of the teams. Sam ate so much in fact that he got a sugar high at about 10:00 pm, but it wore off a few minutes later.

Steve and Nat were doing good,but not as well and you and Bucky. They won a few rounds, sure, but not as many as they would like. Nat was pretty calm, but when Sam was "high" he was trying to be smooth and get Nat to go out with him. She hit him repeatedly, and she smiled with gusto as she did, which made you laugh. Steve to your surprise, was getting a little worked up. He sighed in annoyance whenever they lost a round, and roared in happiness whenever they won.

~~~

"Ok, what's the score F.R.I.D.A.Y.?" Nat asked.

"The score for the Lovebirds is nine," F.R.I.D.A.Y. recited. "The Spies have seven. The Student and Master have nine as well. And finally, the Birdbrains have nine. Is that all Mrs. Romanoff?"

"Your good, thanks F.R.I.D.A.Y." Nat thanked.

"Ok since you guys have nine each, me and Nat will judge this last round." Steve said. "This is it, the last one. Winner takes all!"

As Steve finished his speech, Nat rolled her eyes and muttered something under her breath as she went to grab the final black card.. You knew Bucky had superb hearing, so you leaned to ask him what she said.

"Buck, what did she say?" you asked, quietly.

"She was just saying something about how Steve has a speech for every little thing." Bucky whispered. You giggled under your breath.

As Nat read the card, she showed it to Steve, who started to giggle like a five year old.

"Steve, this isn't that funny," Nat groaned.

"Just read the card," Steve sighed as he regained control of his breathing.

"Ugh." Nat sighed. "Kids, I don't need drugs to get high. I'm high on _____." Everyone chuckled at the card and turned to their partners for the last time.

"Kid, this is it," Tony said.

"Yep," Peter said.

"We gotta go big or go home." Tony said. Then, Tony and Peter looked through the cards and finally, they had their eyes set on their winning card.

"This, my student, is gold," Tony remarked. "No, no. Scratch that. It's the diamond in the rough."

"Do you know the movie Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory?" Peter asked.

"Yeah why?"

"Well, this card is like our golden ticket to victory Mr. Stark." Peter said.

"I don't want another pop culture reference out of you for the rest of the night. You understand?" Tony scolded. Peter gulped as Tony placed their card in the middle of the table.

"Clint?" Sam asked.

"Sam?" Clint asked.

"This is it." Sam said.

"This is it." Clint said. "We gotta give 'em the money."

"Give em the money!"

"We gotta win."

"We have to show those little shits who the fucking bosses are." Sam declared.

"Yes sir," Clint agreed. As the Birdbrains were chanting, boosting their confidence, they interrupted Bucky's train of thought, and yours as well. To you, they sounded like the football teams in the locker room. When the coach is giving the team a pep talk during the halftime show in the Superbowl, boosting the teams confidence. You were giggling to yourself as you heard them, and Bucky caught on. As you looked back at him, you saw a glimmer in his heavenly, blue eyes, filled with mischief. He had his signature smirk, his one for trouble on as well.

"Doll, watch this," he whispered. He looked over at Sam and Clint, and you waited to see what he would do next.

"YEAH BIRDBRAINS! PREACH!!!" he shouted, clapping his hands and cheering them on, mocking them.

Sam and Clint immediately stop and glare at Bucky, who is smirking at them and batting his eyelashes at them, while you are cuddled up into his shoulder laughing at the Winter Soldiers antics.

"SHUT IT LOVEBIRDS!!!" Sam and Clint clap back.

"Ok, before we were so RUDELY interrupted," Sam grunted.

"Very RUDELY," Clint agreed.

"Do you agree that this one is the winner?" Sam asked. Clint looked at the card that Sam was referring to and nodded his head. Then Sam took the card and placed it in the middle. You and Bucky were the team that everyone was waiting for.

"Ok doll," Bucky said. "Don't worry. We got this in the bag."

"Yeah we got this." you agreed, smiling at your boyfriend.

Bucky looked at the other teams and pointed at them while they were waiting for you guys. "They don't know who they are dealing with. They are messing with the fucking Lovebirds and they have made a BIG fucking mistake."

"Yeah we got this. Also.." you said slyly, biting your lip at Bucky, putting your hand in his hair and leaning into his ear so only he could hear. "If we do win.. We can have some fun later, if you know what I mean."

When you pulled away, looking back at the cards, you looked at Bucky through the corner of your eyes. His eyes bulged open and he looked at you, smirking and biting his bottom lip.

"Oh doll," he groaned, his voice deeper and as smooth as chocolate.

"This card looks good right?" you asked, your tone completely changed from full of lust to innocence. Bucky kept staring at you and smiled at you. He always had a hard time believing he was dating you, but tonight, he realized he wanted you till the day he died.

"Yeah, you do." he blushed. You giggled at him and gave him a peck on the cheek before you put your card into the middle.

"Ok everyone ready?" Steve asked, grabbing the cards from the table. Everyone nodded, nerves were bouncing off the walls for all the teams.

"First card." Steve announced. "Kids, I don't need drugs to get high. I'm high on..." He looked at the card and snickered, making sure his eyes weren't play tricks on him. "I'm high on anal beads." The room was roaring with laughter as Steve blushed after reading the card. It took everyone about 10 minutes to calm down and let the Spies read the next card.

"That's method." Tony sighed.

"That's fucked up," Nat coughed.

"That's kinky as fuck!" Sam exclaimed.

"Next: Kids, I dont need drugs to get high," Nat read. "I'm high on selling crack to children." Nat's voice cracked with shock as she finished reading the card in horror. Everyone cracked up even more.

"That's sick!" Clint said.

"Twisted!" Peter agreed.

"Ok whoever put that card down has the balls and I fucking live for it." you smiled, still laughing.

"What the hell?" Bucky sighed, putting his head in his metal hand, trying to process what Nat read.

"Then, last but not least, Nat will you do the honors?" Steve asked.

"It would be my honor," Nat grinned. Before she started reading, she cleared her throat, overexagrating a little bit, which caused everyone to chuckle. "Kids, I don't need drugs to get high. I'm high on… what the fuck?" Nat looked at the card she had to read and started cackling like a witch.

"Nat, you ok over there?" you asked.

"Yeah Im fine." Nat chuckled. "I'm high on a good sniff." Everyone in the room was soon cackling like Nat. And you sounded like witches. You wondered how Wanda and Vision were "sleeping" with all the noise you guys were making. After everyone calmed down, Steve wasn't out of breath like everyone else.

"Nat, that means what I think it means right?" Steve asked quietly.

"What do you think it means Steve?" Nat sighed. Steve leaned into her ear and whispered what he thought it was. You asked Bucky if he could hear what he said, but your boyfriend shook his head. After Steve finished telling Nat, she nodded her head and rolled her eyes at her stupid partner.

"Yes Steve." Nat groaned. "That's what 'a good sniff' means, you idiot."

"Thought you would have gotten that, pal," Bucky mocked.

"I did, I just wanted to make sure what I thought was correct." Steve stated.

"Steve, how do you not understand anything?" Bucky asked.

"Bucky, I thought you always fucked the girls on the first date in the forties. Did you yet?" Steve asked, trying to come back at Bucky. But it didn't really make sense because you were still a virgin. Tony rolled his eyes in the corner and you sighed.

"Did you fuck a girl yet?" Bucky snapped.

"Steve, do we have a winner?" Nat interrupted, stopping the old men from bickering any longer.

"No, I have no clue," Steve answered. "This was a close round. Do you want to decide somewhere else, so they don't hear? This might take a while."

"Yeah, lets go to the bathroom," Nat said. "Take the cards with you." Steve followed Nat, but Sam wasn't going to let Nat leave so quickly.

"Dont fuck him Nat!!!" Sam pleaded, shouting as loud as he could. "He will lose his powers!" Steve turned his back to face Sam, who was smiling back at him. Steve rolled his eyes and followed Nat, and as he walked down the hall, he flipped Sam off. Nat did as well.

You, Peter and Tony were laughing your asses off, laughing at Steve and Nat as they were in the bathroom. Clint was on his phone, texting his wife.

Meanwhile, Sam and Bucky were making fun of Steve. You heard them saying how much trouble Steve would be having if he was actually fucking Nat. They were saying how Nat would be the dominant one and Steve would be like a ragdoll. You were listening to Sam and Bucky more then Tony and Peter, since what Bucky and Sam were talking about interested you way more.

After about 10 minutes or so, Steve and Nat came out of the bathroom. You, Sam and Bucky were eyeing them very closely, seeing if their hair was messed up, if their clothes were wrinkled, if they had hickeys, but there were no signs of physical contact. Sam, however, wasn't letting up.

"I hope you didn't give him a quickie," Sam mocked.

"Fuck off, Birdbrain," Nat scoffed. "Steve, do you want to announce the winning team?"

"Sure," Steve nodded. "Drumroll, please."

Everyone patted their legs, making a drumroll noise. But Tony just waved his hand for everyone to stop.

"Guys stop, just stop." Tony commanded. "We have an A.I. for a reason. F.R.I.D.A.Y., drumroll." F.R.I.D.A.Y. followed her orders and played a drumroll.

"The winning card is….." Steve announced. "A GOOD SNIFF!!!" You and Bucky erupted from your seats like a volcano. Your hair started to glow and you floated in the air for a second. Everyone saw you and thought you looked like a living candle. Bucky hugged you and spun you around the room in his arms. Bucky kissed you and you kissed him back. Not a makeout, but just a long kiss, filled with passion and love.

Sam and Clint got pissed that they didn't win, but they clapped for you, very slowly. Peter clapped for you and cheered, but Tony just sighed and made gagging noises when he saw you kissing. Nat was smiling at the two of you, and so was Steve. They looked like proud parents, smiling in approval of how happy you and Bucky were.

"YES!! We won!!" Bucky shouted.

"Told ya we would!" You cheered. "Take that, Birdbrains!"

"Yeah, yeah good job. I'm going to bed." Tony groaned and headed up to the elevator, which led him to his room which was on the top floor. You sighed and said goodnight anyways.

"I should call it a night," Clint said.

"Me too. See ya tomorrow, lovebirds!" Nat said. You and Bucky waved goodbye as the two of them headed to their rooms.

"Congratulations guys. See ya tomorrow!" Steve said.

"They was cheatin." Sam bickered.

"Cmon birdbrain, lets go," Steve sighed. Sam was bickering with Steve all the way to their rooms, and as they got further away, you could still hear them, which made you laugh. The only people left in the room were you Bucky and Peter.

"I'm so happy that it worked," Peter said. "Congrats by the way!"

"Thanks Peter! I had so much fun!" you smiled.

"Yeah, it was great," Bucky agreed. "I owe ya big time, Spiderling."

"Oh, thanks grandpa." Peter grinned. "You have no idea what you owe me." Then you guys cleaned up the remaining cards and headed back to your rooms. Peter said goodnight to the two of you and you and the Winter Soldier headed to his room.

"When we get back to my room," Bucky said as you were walking. "We earn our reward."

#avengers #marvel #fanfic #fandom #peter parker #natasha romanoff #sam wilson #bucky x reader #bucky fanfic #bucky fucking barnes #bucky barnes #tony stank #tony stark #steve rogers #clint barton #friday #cards against humanity

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wiener-soldiers · 7 years ago

Text

merch? merch. - peter parker

summary: You were always a sucker for comfortable clothing. However, you did not expect so much to happen because you bought a Spiderman shirt.

pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

words: 1,500+

warnings: none!

taglist: @sebastianstanfoundmymixtape

a/n: this has been sitting in my draft for forever and i finally finished it! got this idea when i bought a spiderman shirt lolololol. im also working on a jack kelly and a davey jacobs fic along with part 2 to my steve trevor fic so yay me. shoot a request if you wanna see somthing happen!

You weren't really sure why you did it.

Maybe it's because you were a huge dork, maybe because it looked really comfortable, maybe because it was super cheap, maybe it's because you really liked the shirt.

You don't really know.

Nor did you really care.

But you bought it anyways.

And now, an oversized Spiderman t-shirt was sitting in your closest.

The first time you wore it, you were having a rough day. You woke up late that day, making you late to the bus, forcing you to haul your ass on the subway to get to school. You barely make it to homeroom on time, but get a scolding from the teacher about being late anyways. Then you completely forgot your English essay at home the day it was due. Finally, hoping you could spend quality time with your best friend Peter Parker after school, he blew you off, something about running to do some errands for Aunt May. You wanted to offer to join Peter, but he ran off before you could ask.

So you went home, changed into a comfortable bralette and some soft Brandy Melville shorts, and of course, your Spiderman t-shirt. Because it's oversized, it falls onto about mid-thigh, so you tie it up into a knot at the front. Because your mom works that night shift at the hospital as a nurse and your dad was in London for a conference, you had the house to yourself.

You walked out of your room and into the living room, bringing your laptop, homework, and some leftover Thai takeout along with you. After you plant yourself on the couch, you start to binge watch Harry Potter while doing your homework.

When your mom finally came home from working the night shift at the hospital, she finds you fast asleep with your homework falling on the floor and the end of the Chamber of Secrets playing.

The next morning, when you wake up from your spot on the couch, she makes no comment on your Spiderman merch.

The second time you wore the shirt, your close friend MJ came over to watch Criminal Minds with you. This was your first break after the beginning of the second semester and both of you were dying to get your dose of Spencer Reid in.

The moment you answer the door, MJ laughs at your outfit choice.

"Nice shirt, nerd," she says as she kicks her shoes off, pushing hair behind her ear as she bends down to retrieve the chips and candy she brought.

You scoff and lightly kick her butt as you walk by, "Whatever."

"No seriously," she says while she chases after you, "Boxers and a Spiderman shirt? Where did you even get those?"

"The shirt?"

"No you idiot, the boxers! But where you got the shirt wouldn't hurt either."

You laugh and grab some chips, a tub of ice cream and spoons, and some sodas from the kitchen. "I got the shirt from a gift store in Manhattan."

"And the shorts?"

You look down at your feet, heat rushing to your face. To keep your hands occupied and grab the remote from the counter, walking back to the living room. You hear a scoff escape MJ's lips, "It's Peter's, isn't it?"

Your face burns and you throw a spoon at her face, "Shut up!"

She scrunches her nose, "Ew, who leaves boxers when they stay over?"

You mumble something under his breath.

She rolls her eyes again, "Speak up, dammit."

"...He gave them to me."

She bursts into laughter, "She's whipped! The girl's whipped!"

The third time you wore the shirt was when Ned came over to do a project.

You were assigned partners for a science project and you insisted that Ned came over to do the project as oppose to the school library. After school, the library was usually fairly quiet, but because of the pouring rain outside, a lot of students stayed inside the library to wait out the storm.

The two of you ran from the subway station two your family’s apartment, but the pouring rain almost guaranteed that the both of you would get drenched regardless.

After hastily unlocking the front door, the both of you stumbled inside.

"Gee, (Y/N). I'm starting to think that going out into the rain was a bad idea," Ned laughs out. He opted not to wear his raincoat to protect his books. You were just stupid enough not to bring one.

You giggle, "Yeah? Well I was not about to let us do work in a loaded library that'll smell like mud and everyone's B.O."

He laughs, taking off his shoes and dumping the water on the floor. He wrings out his socks after. "That's really gross, man."

You follow suite, "You bet. Hold on, I'll grab us a change of clothes."

You run to your room and grab some clothes Ned had left at your house. You grab a couple more supplies for the project before you change into pyjama pants and your comfy Spiderman shirt.

You meet Ned in the living room and he does a double take when he sees your shirt.

"What?" you ask him.

"Nice shirt."

"What? MJ, now you?"

"Who's MJ?"

You look back at him, "I thought you knew you MJ was?"

"..."

"You know, brown curly hair? Sarcastic sense of humor? Absolutely gorgeous?"

"..."

You roll your eyes, "She goes by Michelle, Ned."

He widens his eyes in revelation, "Oh!"

You laugh at him and hand him the dry clothes, "Go change, Ned."

"Okay, okay!" Ned replies, grabbing the clothes from you with a smile from your face. "Thanks, (Y/N). Oh, and uh...does Peter know you have that shirt?"

You shake your head, "No."

"Show it to him, I bet he'd love it."

A blush was your response, "Go get changed, Ned."

The fourth time you wore that shirt was to bed.

At least that was your intention.

A soft rapping on your window wakes you. You roll around to face the window and notice a familiar red mask in your field of view. You sigh and roll out of bed and open your window to let the spandex clad man in.

"Hi, Spiderman."

He grunts silently in pain when he rolls through your window, "Hi, Miss."

You let out a huff in annoyance. For the past couple weeks, Spiderman has been showing up injured to your window asking for assistance. You had no idea why you hadn't told anyone yet, or why you decided to help him. However, he never asked for your name and you felt like this was your way of crime fighting and helping others.

"Where are you hurt?" you softly say, scrunching your eyebrows together and looking over is hunched form.

Spiderman slowly lowers himself on the ground and gestures to his ribs. You nod and leave the room, coming back with a pack of ice. He looks up at you and lets out a small laugh, "Nice shirt, (Y/N)."

You freeze.

You had never told him your name.

You step back, your hand hovering over the light switch. "Who are you? How do you know my name? What the hell?"

He stutters, "Uh...you have to promise not to scream."

"I make no--" you start to say, but before you get the chance to finish, he rips his mask off.

Peter Parker gives you a small sheepish smile. Your shock doesn't fade.

Out of shock, you throw the ice pack at him. "Peter!" you whisper yell, "you're Spiderman?!"

"I told you not to scream!"

"I'm whisper screaming!"

"Look, I'm sorry I couldn't tell you. It's just that--"

"No, Peter Parker, you listen to me! Do you really have the audacity to show up hurt every night? I thought you hated me because you kept blowing me off! I really freaking miss you Peter I could almost--" you cut yourself off with a scrambled scream.

Peter stands up and pulls you into a hug, silencing and comforting you. You push yourself away.

"Peter Parker I could almost soak you in the face right now!" you threaten, stepping closer to him noses almost touching.

"What's stopping you?"

"Why you little--" you grab his face and kiss him, hard. His arms snake around your waist and pull you closer. You both pull away, out of breath. He rests his forehead on top of yours, heaving from the adrenaline.

"I'm sorry," he whispers.

You kiss his nose, "I'm just glad your okay."

He kisses you on the lips once again, "I wasn't kidding when I said I loved that shirt."

You smile and look down. Peter’s eyes soften and he brings his hand to rest on your cheek. He slowly pushes your chin upwards to face him. Your eyes flicker up to his. Though is dark, you find yourself lost in his chocolate eyes.

“Hey,” Peter whispers to you, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I’m sorry I kept ignoring you. You mean the world to me (Y/N) and I couldn’t live with myself knowing that I was keeping something as big as me being Spiderman away from you. But I could never bring myself to tell you, I...I didn’t want to drag you into this.”

You pull him into a tight hug, nestling your nose in the crook of his neck. You turn your head and rest your cheek on his shoulder, and you press a soft kiss on the side of his neck. “I’m in it for the long haul, Peter. You’re my best friend, and I love you in every way possible. Whether you like it or not, you’re stuck with me.”

Peter’s body shakes with laughter, his grip on you tightening. “I wouldn’t want it any other way, darling.”

The fifth time you wear that shirt, it's in bed beside Peter as the both of you binge watch the original Star Wars trilogy. He rests against the headboard with you sitting in between his legs, your back resting against his chest with his arms wrapped around your waist. He toys with the hem of your shirt, a smile finding a way to his face when he remembers the first time he saw you in it.

You notice Peter's hands brushing against your stomach and slip your hand into it. "What are ya thinking about?" you ask him.

"Just about you, beautiful. Have I ever told you that I love you?"

You feel him press a kiss to your neck and you smile, pausing the movie playing on your laptop resting on your lap. "Yes, Peter. Everyday."

"That's good. I mean, if you ever came out with some '(Y/N) (Y/L/N)' merch, I'm buying it."

You laugh once again before kissing Peter full on the lips, the smile never leaving either of your faces.

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