#Shitshow Supervisor

[grannyandgrandpascreations]

Shitshow Supervisor T-Shirt

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Due to different light settings the actual color might vary a bit from the pictures.

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[collaredkittyboy]

Good things on the riseeeee

[lordirony]

UNRELATED to previous posts BUT

One of my new coworkers once worked with our previous manager (who was also someone i hate very very much) and she unleashed so much tea about him lol. She was SHOCKED that he was even hired at my store in the first place because he's that much of a fucking disaster manchild. I felt so validated knowing that he always has been god awful.

[kunt-cobain]

something that has stuck with me from my last job is the knowledge that neither important scientists, nor people from very old and respected universities, nor publishers of high-profile scientific journals have their shit together, like, at all

[ozzgin]

Yandere School Q&A

I've gotten some related asks and thought I'd put them in a cleaner format, so I don't spawn another round of screenshots from my inbox.

Ohhh how would yan school react if y/n got hurt somehow?? Also quick question is her parents also platonic yans for them? Thanks!! - Anonymous

It only makes sense that the staff of the school is yandere material, too. The students may rush to help and insist they've got it under control, but the school nurse will be quick to act. It's the chance of a lifetime, having you to himself, and for longer than the usual standard checkup. The curtains are pulled, and the "do not disturb" sign is flipped. Your injuries are not to be taken lightly. You'll need to spend all day under his supervision.

The parents and all relatives are indeed platonic yanderes! I thought it'd be a nice touch since I've never approached the trope before.

YAYAYAYYAYYAYAYAYAYAYAYAA MORE YANDERE SCHOOLLLLLL You’re amazing!!!!! (I had to ask to make sure I used the right your/you’re) also is the darling yandere gonna keep sabotaging y/n? - @femboybasil

The tying up incident was actually an exception to what I originally planned, haha. For most of the competitions, darling yandere will guide (Y/N) and aid them for a flawless win. That's the comedy of it: he's indirectly doing the yandere part while trying to be discreet enough as to not alert the other yanderes. Additionally, (Y/N) helps him with the darling tasks. Though that part is very much expected by everyone from school. The Daring Academy teachers are probably observing the activities, baffled. "Who the hell is that student? What skill...what obliviousness. They should've applied to us."

If you’re comfortable with this concept, (since it’s a school-based series I don’t know if the reader and yanderes are minors are not, if they are then you don’t have to write this.) but obviously the students of the Yandere Academy are going to need to learn how to tie up their darlings once they’ve been captured. Would you mind writing a little blurb about it since Reader is the unofficially assigned darling stand-in for their classes? - Anonymous

This is the ask I used for the tying up idea in Part 3! To answer your worries, all of my stories involve 18+ characters! Just wanted to clear it up for anyone in doubt. The school/academy setup is more of a college/university kind of institution. I do love a good high school setup, but not for self insert romance.

I’d imagine that there’s a drama class at the yandere school to help the students learn how to act and seem innocent. What if they put on a musical or something like Phantom of the Opera (because of course it would be that) and reader got the role of Christine or the equivalent. Imagine all the yanderes fighting for the role of their love interests to get the excuse to kiss them, and other yanderes trying to sabotage them as tactfully as possible to keep the show going, but replace the leads to be alongside reader. Think that may be something cool to add/write about? No pressure of course! - Anonymous

You know the whole thing is going to turn into a ninja survival shitshow. They had hoped to never cast (Y/N) in any role, for everyone's safety. And for the most part, (Y/N) thankfully never showed any interest in the drama club.

The supervising teacher held (Y/N)'s application form with trembling hands. It seems their little club had finally run out of luck.

Worst part: the school can't even rely on the teachers. They're just as desperate to see their cute little (Y/N) perform on stage. "Maybe this job is too overwhelming for one person, sensei..." they'll smugly tell the original supervisor. "We could divide some tasks. Someone else could train (Y/N), for example..."

ok here me out, what if there is like a field trip or sports festival kind of thing where the Yandere and Darling academy meet up. Basically where a Yandere and a darling are made to pair up to go through the numerous activities (maybe ones that test their yandere/darling skills) so reader decides to pair up with clumsy Yandere ( who is in Darling academy) much to the displeasure of Yandere classmate. Maybe like a battle of the the Yanderes? - Anonymous

This was a little trippy to read, because it came right after part 3, haha. Which I feel is basically the same plot. Though it would be interesting to see how it'd play out if the stranger was Reader's best friend instead.

Reader excitedly approaches Clumsy!Yandere and asks him to work together, to the dismay of all other students. They're enraged. You can see it plainly: their hands tremble, their jaws are clenched, their eyes have a psychotic glint. Poor Clumsy!Yandere is in constant shivers, unaware of the death stares. You're cheerfully guiding him around, his hand in yours, happy to see your friend again.

[sgiandubh]

Looking for balance

People have been asking for years that she would name McGill in the same sentence as 'husband'. This happened, after almost six years of marital bliss #shitshow, which is (how can I properly put it?) at least peculiar. And yes, I am still perfectly unfazed - because you see, promo also means being as consensual as possible. In this regard, it would seem the lessons of that costly, (in)famous Vanity Fair interview have been learned. But also that her fresh, organic image the veterans of this fandom so much enjoyed is probably gone.

Among all the interviews she so liberally (and rather proportionally with the big budget of The Amateur) offered, the most interesting one was for Io Donna the woman weekly supplement of the big Italian newspaper Corriere della Sera. It was posted across the street and they were unable to read, let alone understand it. They imagine we were as parochial and dumb as they are, so I said 'hold my beer' and translated it for you.

[Source: https://www.iodonna.it/personaggi/star-internazionali/2025/04/08/caitriona-balfe-protagonista-con-rami-malek-in-operazione-vendetta/ - 8 April 2025]

This time, we are talking about a widespread, very prestigious European media outlet. Not a Swiss news portal, bearing also in mind that Switzerland is a market seven times less important, in terms of audience, than Italy.

Anyways, there goes - my own translation, thank you:

Caitriona Balfe, star of 'The Amateur': 'I'm Frustrated by Injustice in the World' A former model and aspiring director, she is best known for her role as Claire Fraser in the television series Outlander. by Michaela K. Bellisario

"They made Rami run around a lot. We shot the escape scene so many times that we ended up joking about it." Caitriona Balfe, 45, actress and supermodel, is one of the two female leads (the other is Rachel Brosnahan) in The Amateur with Rami Malek, an American spy action thriller directed by James Hawes, based on the 1981 novel of the same name by Robert Littell, in theaters starting April 10.

Malek is a CIA code breaker who works in the basement of the Langley headquarters in the United States. His life is turned upside down when his wife is killed in a terrorist attack in London. When his supervisors refuse to act, he embarks on a dangerous journey around the world to track down the real perpetrators of the attack and avenge his wife. Caitriona Balfe is the widow of another agent and helps Malek using her computer skills.

Caitriona Balfe in The Amateur : "I accepted the movie because we were going to shoot in Marseille and Istanbul"

For Caitriona Balfe, originally from Dublin, this is a new role . The actress is best known for her role as Claire Fraser in the TV series Outlander, for which she won a BAFTA Scotland, two People's Choice Awards and two Saturn Awards, and received four consecutive Golden Globe nominations for Best Actress in a Drama Series. In 2021, alongside Jamie Dornan, she starred in the film Belfast, written and directed by Kenneth Branagh.

Caitriona Balfe, what made you take this role? I liked the idea of ​​​​measuring up to a character so different from the others played to date. And then I was attracted by the possibility of working with Rami Malek and the director James Hawes, who I admire for the series Slow Horses. Last but not least, I confess, the fact that it was shot in Istanbul and Marseille. After all those years in Scotland ...

In fact, you basically worked and lived in Scotland for the TV series Outlander. Yes, that's eleven years in total. Intense and beautiful years. But, of course, every now and then changing location doesn't hurt, especially if I think of my colleagues who, instead, shoot for example, I don't know, in exotic locations (laughs).

Caitriona Balfe: "Rami Malek Gave Me So Much Advice" You have long scenes with Rami Malek, the “avenger”, especially those where you run to escape from the “enemies”, can you tell us a behind-the-scenes anecdote? If you mean the escape scene, we repeated it five times, it must have been three in the morning on a cold January night in Marseille. An adventure… Malek is a very generous professional and gave me a lot of advice. I arrived on the set when the shooting was already underway, it always takes a few moments of orientation to fit in and Rami supported me at every moment.

What is the message of this action thriller: revenge or peace? The film seems to be focused on revenge, Rami tries in every possible way to avenge his wife's assassination by occult terrorist forces. But during his long escape around the world, a bit like in a hero's journey, he understands that after all revenge is only the starting point of what he is doing. He understands the only thing that makes sense is to discover the truth and he wants justice to be served.

Food for thought in such a troubled moment of global politics… Exactly. In our world, these two levels, revenge and aspiration towards justice, are often confused. Yours is an interesting question we should all ask ourselves at this moment in time. I liked my character because she chose truth instead of revenge. And she has a positive influence on the character played by Rami Malek.

Caitriona Balfe: "I'm frustrated by injustice"

What makes you call for revenge? Everything! I am a Libra and I am looking for harmony in everything. I am frustrated by the lack of empathy between people, yet we are all interconnected, equal, we should treat each other with love and compassion. The same goes for animals and the environment. Everything would be easier, right? Instead, it seems to be the most difficult thing in the world. I was talking about it with a friend just today. You reach a certain point in life where you understand that the only important thing is love for all sentient beings.

Let's take a step back in time: you were a supermodel in the 90s and then you made your debut in The Devil Wears Prada… As I always say… I didn’t actually act in the film. I was an extra, one of the many girls who sashay in and out of the editorial office. But at least I had the chance to meet Meryl Streep. Even becoming a model was the result of chance. I was eighteen and studying acting in Dublin when I was noticed. I was able to live in Japan, France, Germany… ten years of discoveries.

"I'm interested in nourishing the soul"

You have tried directing on Outlander's set. Yes, I would love to end up behind the camera again, I am interested in exploring storytelling and narratives. Ultimately, thousands of years ago, when we were all cavemen, we told stories around the fire. For an actor, that is perhaps the most interesting side of it, because we are limited in the roles we play. Directing will make me able to tell stories in a much broader way.

How do you balance your private life with your professional life? Since I had a son, everything has become much more complicated. But it's not a problem, he is my priority. For the first three years of his life I worked a lot, now I've decided to take some time for us to be together, also because he will start school and we will have to find a new balance.

What do you do in your free time? I explore my creative side. I try to practice yoga. Nourishing the soul is definitely the most important task we have.'

***

I took the liberty to put in italics the answers I considered way more interesting, and perhaps even honest, than the rest. Her Stans should definitely take a deep look at what she said about empathy (or rather lack thereof), equality and her ultimately feeling that people are interconnected - all things I have particularly found Mordor wanting, especially considering their uncanny brutality and love of insults.

Corriere della Sera is a far more liberal media outlet than FOX, so the message of her points of talk was tailored to align with its values: yoga, compassion, empathy, environment and animal rights, tolerance and connection, injustice of the actual global context (subtly so, always as far as she is concerned). Again, no surprise and a clearly more serious, better adjusted image for the (perhaps more sophisticated) given audience. All you need is love, insomma: there's nothing more consensual than that, there's nothing less encouraging to probe further the real C behind the mask, Oriana Fallaci style.

I was not surprised, then, to see no mention of McGill, whatsoever. This is, at any rate, rarely done in European media of this level and importance, unless the story is compelling. She seems now entirely focused on Blonde Bambino, who (in her own words) has become 'her priority' (but, but...oooh, LOL) . That was the golden opportunity to mention McGill in a very positive, indisputable context, yet she did not take it - I really wonder why. Oh, and in case you wonder, the 'us' in 'I decided to take some time for us' refers, in my humble opinion, exclusively to her and Blonde Bambino. This being reinforced by her mentioning she worked a lot on Outlander and her will to spend more one on one time with him before he'd start school.

The contrast is clear. Different messages for different markets: she is a human being, not a batch of Skyr. However, it is with deep nostalgia (and also a wide grin) that I noticed the website also linked to a July 2016 interview of hers to the same newspaper, for the people who had time to kill and were willing to know more about her story. Lo and behold, here is what I found:

[Source: https://www.iodonna.it/personaggi/interviste-gallery/2016/07/15/caitriona-balfe-sono-uneroina-romantica-ma-non-ho-tempo-per-lamore/]

My translation: 'Caitriona Balfe: I am a romantic heroine, but I don't have time for love. On the TV screen, I have two husbands, but in my own life I've got none', jokes the actress, star of the cult series Outlander. She is talking to us about 'real sensuality', passion and feeling embarrassed. And she tells us why she'll never go to Paris with any fiancé'.

My translation: 'From the Scottish Highlands to the 1750's Paris: how much does the script weigh on the acting?

The Scottish Highlands are wild lands, the intensity of the landscape and the events of that time are encouraging Claire and Jamie's passion. Then, Paris does create strong tensions. I don't know if you have already went to the French capital while being in love: it's such a pressure to love each other, that it always ends in fighting' (laughs).

Of course, the rest is paying lip service to the narrative, but what about the trolls across the street for whom McGill was already the chosen one, by then (as if, heh... as if...)?

Stop lying. You're not doing her any good.

[kenmakodz]

˖˙ ᰋ ── INAMORATA ˖*

003. point and laugh!

after the veil was lifted, y/n walked up to check on toge, putting a light hand on his jawline, wiping the small amount of blood from the crease of his lips before their supervisor saw. toge rolls his eyes, zipping his jacket back up.

“you blushing?” she teases, nudging his shoulder as they walked towards the exit.

he feigns a grossed out look, shaking his head at her teasing. “fish flakes.”

“mhm, right.” an evil grin sneaks its way onto her lips, letting a breathy laugh leave her nose.

teasing between the two of them is quite common; crude jokes, fake flirting, etc. it started out as an inside joke between the two of them during their first year, when their fellow classmates started a rumor that they were dating. even after their friends found out they were being pranked, the two seemed even more inseparable after the ordeal.

- toge & y/n showing their true colors when they're alone together.

- even though they've set boundaries with eachother in the past when it comes to the jokes they make, it seems like they're starting to question their true motives more and more. being so similar stubborn they refuse to ask their friends for help, because they know an 'i told you so' is in order. plus, it might just be dumb teen hormones, right?

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⤷ © kenmakodz

[calliopechild]

This is turning out to be a real 'mental is hocus, health not pocus' week, friends. There's something really ironic about one of the symptoms of depression being hopelessness and one of the things that seems to set mine off in particular being *checks notes* ah, yes--

Feeling like I can't change anything in my life. Or put another way, feeling like my efforts are hopeless. Womp womp.

Because none of the big things that are making me unhappy--work, renting, not being able to get a dog--are things I can change directly. For work, I can apply to all the jobs I want, and it doesn't mean shit because I can't make someone hire me. For renting, I can't make my the realty company stop being greedy pieces of shit who slap a charge on everything or make my landlord stop being a controlling pain in the ass who expects me to get her approval on things as basic as buying a fucking washer/dryer. And for the dog, I can't even get the kind of dog I'd like; I have to get one that fits into said control freak's very narrow specifications.

I know these are small things in the grand scheme. I know I'm lucky to have a job and a place to live, and that if nothing else, at least Control Freak Carol isn't raising the rent for next year. But I'm just so tired of not being able to make any decisions about or change anything in my own fucking life without having to wait for someone else to make a decision for me. Because yes, I can apply for jobs; yes, I can apply for a different rental; and yes, I can apply to adopt a dog. But that's all I can do. At the end of the day, none of those decisions are actually in my hands in a way I can personally bring about, immediately or otherwise. And I'm just...so fucking tired of it. I'm almost 40 years old and I can't even make an unfettered decision about something as personal as what dog I get without someone else's approval.

And work just makes it all worse through a combination of being overworked and taking orders from clowns. The whole thing is an entire shitshow, but the tl;dr version is I am doing two jobs--and have been for most of the 3 years I've worked here--and am getting underpaid for it not just by industry average, but by the company's own hiring range. I'm the only person running my journal now since my old supervisor got promoted to a different offshoot of the company, and I've been told by my new supervisor flat-out that we won't be getting any more staff--this despite getting 'welcome our new employees!' emails from every other fucking wing of the company pretty much every week.

It's all just a lot. And then I've been sleeping badly lately on top of it, and my immune system is taking a hit as a result, so I'm tired and have sinus pressure kicking my ass and I want to just sleep for a week. I took a sick day yesterday--got up at 9ish to tell my supervisor I wasn't going to be working, went back to bed, and didn't get up until about 4 pm--and still feel like I'm at the end of my rope. The only way to change things is to keep applying to jobs, which feels like screaming into the void thanks to spending hours on apps with nothing to show for it. And unfortunately I am very prone to revenge bedtime procrastination because nighttime is the only time I have to relax and catch up with friends, but it just makes it worse because ahahahaha! Fatigue is also something that exacerbates my depression. One cannot imagine Sisyphus happy because fuck this shit, actually.

I don't really know what to do about it, even. How do you stop being depressed when both your job and your efforts to find a new one are contributing factors because they both feel like different flavors of the same kind of pointlessness? I want to find some sort of project or something to work on so I have concrete progress to look at, but my weekends lately have just been me trying to catch up on sleep and--you guessed it--more job hunting.

Anyway, if anyone has cute pet pictures, or fun(ny) stories, or revoltingly fluffy turtle fics, or just good things that have happened in your life recently, please fire them my way. I could use some proxy happy.

[proto-language]

absolute shitshow regarding my mphil viva this morning. external examiner has travelled several hours to be in my city. internal examiner (responsible for organising the whole thing) wanted it to be on zoom and doesn't seem to be in the city, but also hasn't replied to emails for 36 hours. the viva is in two hours. my supervisor, the only sane person involved in any of this, has stepped in and offered to let me and the external examiner call the internal examiner from her office. why is this my life.

[grannyandgrandpascreations]

Shitshow Supervisor 20-Ounce Stainless Steel Travel Tumbler

Own the chaos with our 20-ounce stainless steel travel tumbler featuring the bold and humorous 'Shitshow Supervisor' design. Perfect for hot and cold beverages, this tumbler keeps drinks at the ideal temperature for hours. Made with durable stainless steel, it’s the ultimate travel companion for work, errands, or relaxing at home. This tumbler is a fun and practical gift for anyone embracing their role as the supervisor of life’s little messes!

Its sleek and slim design feels great in your hand and effortlessly fits into your car's cupholder, making it ideal for travel and daily use.

Complete with a convenient straw and spill-proof lid, this tumbler is designed for ease and practicality. The premium polymer coating not only enhances durability but also showcases vibrant colors with a glossy finish, ensuring the design remains bright and clear.

The slender straight shape makes it a breeze to hold and perfectly compatible with car drink holders. Versatile enough for both hot and cold beverages, it's your go-to companion wherever you roam.

Whether you're hitting the road or relaxing at home, this tumbler combines style with functionality, making it a thoughtful and practical gift for any occasion. Treat your friend (or yourself!) to this stylish tumbler and enjoy the perfect sip, every time.

This tumbler has a premium polymer coating which makes the design colors bright, clear, and complete with a beautiful glossy finish.

- The completely skinny straight shape makes it really easy to handle and even fit into your car drink holders.

- Can be used with Hot and Cold drinks.

- Made using a sublimation printing process that can be more costly than other methods, but it lasts longer, and will not crack or peel over time.

Tumbler Care instructions: Hand wash only- Do not soak in water- Do not use any type of abrasive sponges - Avoiding extreme heat- Not placing in dishwasher as it can be exposed to high heat temperatures. - Never placing your tumbler into a microwave- Allow your tumbler, lid, and straw to air dry

Due to different picture lighting settings the actual color might vary a bit from the pictures.

After a package leaves my hands with the post office, Granny & Grandpa's Custom Creations is not held responsible. Current Turnaround Time due to upcoming Holidays - 1-5 Business Days. While we always use priority shipping options, once shipped we cannot guarantee delivery due to the backlog current being experienced USPS/UPS/FedEx. If you have a strict deadline, please message me when ordering so that I can note any rush requests. Ownership of packages turned over to USPS transfers to the Buyer. We are not responsible for lost, held, damaged packages or delayed packages, once your package(s) leaves our Shop it is completely out of our control. Thank you for understanding!

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[angria]

This week has been so much and I feel like every aspect of my life is in chaos.

Work is an utter shitshow with the congregation turning against the new priest and putting me in the middle. I dread going in now.

Therapy (both T and L) is a complete mindfuck and I still don't know how to process it...T is worried that I'm getting too dysregulated by therapy, which kind of pissed me off because like dude, this recognition around csa is comparatively brand new in the grand scheme of our 12+ years together.

Placement is an infuriating mess. I need to be vague due to safety, but the overarching hospital system is shutting down my community health center's racial justice projects, calling them "illegal DEI." One of the projects is my main one as an intern. I fucking HATE this goddamn fucking country. I wanted to cry when my supervisor said we had to stop immediately. So we are scrambling on how to proceed.

Just feel so defeated right now, both from external (oppressive fascist) factors and internally.

[megafreeman]

I know we said we aren't talking about Eurovision at all not to give them engagement, but I'm gonna be honest, that was before the entire shitshow even started.

Now, I think we should talk about it. All the time really. This is one of the worst organized music events in the history and the worst Eurovision ever organized. Just to make it clear, they hosted a Eurovision when USSR and Yugoslavia collapsed, and it was better organized and more peaceful than current Eurovision. All because they want to let alt right terrorists perform a song about how much they love terrorism.

Which is why we have to talk about this. We need to make this the taint in Eurovision's record. We need to make sure this disaster of an event is never forgotten, and to become a synonym for Eurovision "united by music". I want to see videos about Eurovision 2024 in the same vein I see videos about Fyre Festival.

From multiple countries threatening to drop out, to israel harassing everyone who doesn't wanna do a promo video, to Ukraine putting israeli rep on a pro-putin extremist watchlist, to Netherlands being disqualified for allegedly beating up a woman, only for it to come that he gave a woman making fun of his dead parents a nasty look, to non-binary flags and traditional palestinian wear being banned for being "too political", to snipers on the roof outside the venue, the disaster that was semi-final 2 press tour, israelis terrorizing people on the event, italian rep doing an improv press release in the middle of all this mayhem where she breaks into singing Imagine by John Lennon, the boo-ing so loud it made one of the supervisors consider quitting, Netherlands possibly sueing EBU and Spain possibly quitting Eurovision (they're one of the main funders).

Absolute disaster of the event. 10th May will go down in history as the day that forever altered Eurovision, possibly even killed it. They had 12 emergency meetings over last 3 days. Just to avoid banning israel because their company is a major sponsor.

[kuriboo]

i need both my house and my workplace to stop being so stressful there is literally no escape.

i am so sick of living with my father, and my supervisors are normally really good but lately they keep getting mad at my coworker over what seems to be a change in policy that was not communicated and we're not mind readers so why are you mad. i don't get it.

what a shitshow of a week

[sasakisniko]

Just some personal shit. Warnings for shit about trauma, triggers, childhood abuse, and pet death. I am a mess.

Sometimes I really wish that I had advanced warning about when I was going to be triggered so I could take my klonopin before it happens. I'm usually very good at anticipating it. I don't even need my meds most of the time I'm triggered because I am working on it and imo doing an excellent job. I mean, considering the smell of pot is a trigger for me, I'd be kinda fucked if I couldn't manage being triggered daily.

And, of course, I'm already on the verge of tears 24/7 after losing Mango.

But sometimes it comes right without warning and, like, you know the person isn't gaslighting you. You know they just don't have the same perspective as you. They don't see the before, so they think you fucked around your entire shift instead of spending the entire time just trying to get another employee's absolute shitshow to a managable point. With the full intention of getting it where it's supposed to be the next time you have a chance.

So, like, it's not their fault. They did nothing wrong other than not seeing the absolute mess you had to unravel. They just don't know what you know. And, because they don't know what you know and you can't prove shit, you just have to take it. You have to hear how bad you are at your job from your new manager (who was in charge when your coworker made such an absolute mess). And, like, they're trying to be nice about it and they feel so bad, but, like, somehow that makes it worse.

Some broken part of you would rather be dealing with your previous supervisor whose far more exacting standards made you want to scream. They worked you to the bone, but they never once denied all the work you did.

And, the whole time, your nervous system is back at your dad telling you how useless and lazy and what a failure you are because you got a B in AP Calc once. Or him saying you need plastic surgery at 14 because you hit puberty and have boobs and hips and weigh a whole 140lbs. Apparently, you were supposed to remain 90lbs your entire life.

And, yeah, you see your trauma response in this post too. The way you desperately try to explain, to say "See? What he said was wrong and ridiculous and I should be good enough!" All the time knowing that it doesn't matter because the abuse is the problem. Not you. No one deserves that shit.

Intellectually, you know exactly what is happening. But you can't explain it to your body.

So, yeah, you have a gross sobbing meltdown at work, all the time trying to stop the tears, which, of course, only makes it worse.

And then, of course, apologizing and trying to reassure the person who accidentally triggered you that no, it wasn't their fault. It really has nothing to do with them. You're just fucked up.

Idk today sucked.

[aniron48]

24. just really needed a hug sort of hug for 00leiter would be amazing if inspiration strikes! 🥰

Alex, mi vida! Thank you for always inspiring and indulging my deep-seated need for 00leiter, and thank you for this prompt. 🥰 Your wish is my command, my friend! It's here, continuing below the cut, as well as on ao3:

sometimes it takes the night to fall

“My mother wanted me to go to law school,” Felix says. His tone is measured, and this, this, is something he’s going to include in his annual performance review at the Agency, which his supervisor signs every year without reading a word: Agent Leiter is calm and measured, even when he is soaking wet, covered in pink feathers, and holding a flash drive with the plans for a chemical weapon designed to take out half of Europe, circumstances which Agent Leiter would have avoided entirely had his MI6 counterpart not been a fucking asshole.

“‘You’ll make good money, son,’ she would tell me,” Felix says. He pulls his Glock out of his holster, pointing it toward the floor to let the water drain from the barrel. “‘You’ll wear nice suits.’ But no, I knew better. I didn’t want to take the motherfucking bar exam.”

“You wear nice suits now, Felix,” Bond drawls, looking him up and down, and Felix is either going to punch or kiss that look off his face, but he hasn’t decided which, yet.

“Normally, I would agree with you, James,” Felix says. Measuredly, again, because he’s a goddamn station chief for the CIA. “But right now, my nice suit looks like it survived simultaneous explosions at a poultry farm and a Pepto-Bismol factory.”

Felix had had plans for their mission in Prague, plans which involved a timeline, and coordinates on a map, and the judicious use of SIGINT. James Bond had had instincts, and even if those instincts had been accurate, as far as identifying the Belarusian middleman they were looking for went, his methods left a lot to be desired, seeing as they primarily involved a chase through a crowded craft fair in the center of town, followed by what could charitably be called hijacking a bachelorette cruise in order to chase said middleman down the Vltava River. And now here they were, on a deserted dock in a decidedly seedy part of town, mercifully free of bachelorettes, but with an unconscious henchman tied to an oil barrel behind them, waiting for the ride that would take them not to their warm, comfortable hotel room near Karluv Most, but to the U.S. Embassy, where Felix could hand off the hard drive and then spend the rest of the night filling out the ream of paperwork required after the sort of nuclear-grade shitshow James Bond tended to leave behind him on a good night.

“I think I know what you need, Felix,” Bond says, and the way his mouth turns up at the corner can’t mean anything good.

“What I need,” Felix says, “is not to be picking penis-shaped confetti out of my beard.”

“No,” Bond says, stepping closer, and if the British exfil team doesn’t get there soon, Felix is going to paddle to the Embassy on a goddamn inflatable canoe, “No, that’s not it.” 

He brings a hand to the back of Felix’s head, drawing him in close. “Why don’t you start by putting your arm around my waist.”

They’re Felix’s own words from years ago, directed back at him with Bond’s characteristically lethal precision. Not long after the events in Bolivia, Felix had flown into London for the memorial service of another MI6 colleague who had died in the line of duty. Later, after everyone else had left, he’d joined Bond where he stood in the back of the church, stiff with grief and the bone-deep chill of the British winter.

“She drowned, you know,” Bond had said, his tone conversational. “004, I mean. She deserved better. It’s a terrible way to go.”

Bond and Felix had been lovers for mere weeks at that point, if that designation even applied to the handful of hours they’d stolen in South American hotel rooms and, on one memorable occasion, the lost luggage room of a train station in the middle of nowhere. But Felix wasn’t an idiot. He’d been in Venice when Vesper died. Even then, he’d known Bond well enough to know what wounds would be fatal to him, if left untreated.

“It is,” Felix had said. He hadn’t dared to say much of anything else. “I’m sorry for your loss, James.”

“It’s England’s loss,” Bond had said. He’d already begun to go distant around the edges, all of the lines of his body tensed for a fight. Felix had wanted nothing more than to demand Bond come back with him to his hotel room, to fuck him fast and merciless until all the tension bled from his body, until he was easy and louche again, unspooled against the Egyptian cotton sheets. But his first instinct with Bond wasn’t always the right one, back then, and he’d looked at Bond in silence for a long moment before making his decision.

“Come here,” he’d said. “I’m going to give you a hug.”

Bond had looked at Felix like he’d just suggested they piss in the baptismal font. “A what?”

“A hug, Bond. Jesus Christ. Come here.” He’d pulled Bond in by the lapel of his expensive wool coat. “You start by putting your arm around my waist, like that. Then you put your other arm around my shoulders. Like this, asshole. And then—” Felix had squeezed with all his might. “Then you hold on tight.”

They are here, now, tonight—and by “here” Felix means Prague, means the dock, means covered in dirty river water and the detritus of phallus-shaped souvenirs, but he also means so much more than that—in no small part because all those years ago, his own instincts had been right when he’d taken James Bond in his arms in an empty church, and so as angry as he is, he’s powerless to deny James this, now. He gives in to the inevitable and steps into the embrace, dropping his head against James’s neck.

“I hate you,” he says, but there’s no longer any heat in it. “This was the worst night of my career.”

“The ladies liked it,” Bond says.

“The ‘ladies’ thought we were strippers. One of them threw her drink on me when I refused to take my shirt off.”

“The night is still young,” Bond points out. Felix refuses to turn his head to look at him, on principle, but he can feel Bond’s smile against his cheek.

“Fuck you and your entire country,” Felix says. “I’m glad we threw your fucking tea in the harbor.” But his head is still on Bond’s shoulder, and his arms are around his waist, and he’ll stay that way until the sound of a distant motor signals that their ride is near, and the night moves on around them.

[thesmilingfish]

Getting ready for my trip to Colorado on Monday. All packed, got laundry and dishes done. Vacuumed, cleaned the cat box, took out the trash and will get around to dusting in a minute. Gonna put clean sheets on the bed (it's so nice to come home to a fresh bed). My cousin is going to be taking care of Izzy and she's a neat freak so I'm trying to at least do a bit to make her more comfortable while she's taking care of my girl.

I'm not really looking forward to the trip. It sounds like I'll be walking into a shitshow at the store. They've got lots of people (managers, supervisors and associates) all coming in from out of state (Nevada, Nebraska and California) to help. It just screams too many people with too many opinions. I plan on keeping my head down and doing whatever is asked of me. I think it's mostly the travel time - it's gonna take a full day on both ends to get there and back. That's gonna suck. But, hey, it's a ton of OT so there's that.