#Soap's hands are on fire. all the time. not really inconspicuous

[sunshowersanddandelionwine]

as a former rower, i have to give my latest brainrot seat assignments or i will EXPLODE

coxswain: the only one facing the front of the boat, the cox is arguably the most important member of the team. As such, the two main coxs are farah and horangi, who switch out depending on the need. Farah is the default cox, because she’s extremely calm under pressure, has exceptional leadership skills, and knows exactly how to get what she wants from her boat. She has never looked anything but perfectly relaxed in the stern, face focused and intense. She doesn’t have to yell or scream, but she will if necessary. Horangi, on the other hand, doesn’t cox as often but when he does, he is at an 11 at all times. He makes jokes, taunts the other boats, jeers and snarks at his rowers, and generally does a Lot. It’s not always the best strategy, especially with the wrong person in the stroke seat. But when he works? He fucking WORKS.

eight: also known as the “stroke” seat, they set the pace for the rest of the boat. They have to be steady, sure, and solid. Which is why I think Ghost fits this seat best. He doesn’t let the rush from the bow get overwhelming, he can keep a high stroke-per-minute count without burning out, and he and Farah have a rock solid connection. He sometimes swaps with König (usually when Horangi is coxing because he doesn’t jive as much with his style) but most of the time? That man is in the front

seven: SOAP. SOAP SOAP SOAP. There’s no one else I could think of to be ghost’s seat pair. And not just because I’m a ghoap girlie at heart lmao. But a good seat pair is a balance that’s hard to come by. You have to pull at the exact same time with the exact same force and movements, and soap is incredibly perceptive to ghost’s every move, and always knows without having to see his face exactly what he’s thinking. He has some rush issues, because he gets WAAAAY to into things, but ghost’s immovable pace is the perfect counterbalance

six: the first of the “engine room” middle four, six seat is a powerhouse. They bring the speed and the momentum. And I think Gaz is the perfect six. He’s a leader of the middle, but he’s not quite experienced enough to be stroke. In a few years, he’d have it in the bag for SURE. But for now? He’s got a fire in his eyes and a need to prove himself. He also loves to snipe about the “eyesore” that he’s forced to look at for the entire race.

five: ALEX! Another member of the engine room, five isn’t as focused on technique or finesse. However, it’s the heart of the boat and the core of the team. And Alex has heart in spades. He and Gaz are an amazing duo, and honestly could be a powerhouse stroke pair someday. He’s the connection between the stern four and bow four, keeping everyone in seamless sync.

four: as the middle of the boat, not a lot of people consider four seat often. Which is perfectly fine with König. He doesn’t have to have the absolute perfect technique like the outer four, he doesn’t have to lead like stern pair, and he doesn’t have to think about anything but pulling as hard as he fucking can until they cross the finish line. However, he does sometimes get swapped with Ghost whenever Horangi gets to cox. And while he’s not a fan, he doesn’t seem to mind as much when he is forced up front.

three: three doesn’t get enough love imo. In my mind, it’s the jack of all trades seat. It’s part of the engine room, but far enough to the bow where technique matters a lot, and there’s really only one person I could see doing it well. Roach is the perfect three seat - inconspicuous and seemingly underwhelming but incredibly versatile and flexible. He can also sit in any seat, regardless of whether it’s a starboard or port-side oar (like me when I still rowed! :D) and used to be Ghost’s pair until soap joined the team. He’s not upset about it at all, because three fits him much better lol

two: the bow pair are the farthest from the coxswain, and the most vital for both rush control and technique. Rush comes from the bow and bleeds into the rest of the boat. Which makes alejandro an excellent two. He doesn’t have to be as strong as the middle four (though he is still very very strong, don’t get me wrong), but his form is almost unmatched.

one: there’s only one person who has a more perfect form than Alejandro, and that’s Rudy. He’s straight out of the dreams of coaches everywhere, and often gets recruited as an example for newbie rowers to learn how to sit and how to hold onto their oars. He’s the farthest from Farah, but he is so on point with what she wants from him it’s like there’s no distance at all

price and nikolai are a former pair who moved to coaching after winning a few Olympic medals. Price deals with technique and Nikolai deals with strategy (ie when to hold back and when to open the tank)

kate and her wife are the team managers and owners

Other honorable mentions:

hesh and logan have a pair. hesh is in the stern because hes Big Brother. keegan has a single scull.

(oc warning) cash, mickey, zora, and lia have a four that's coxed by lucas. hes their Baby Brother and they can and will kill for him. ross and larkin (their coaches) look the other way because they would also kill for him.

[clefairymuke]

regrets | chapter fifteen

prev. chapter | next chapter

pairing: levi ackerman x reader

themes: enemies to lovers, slowburn, angst, fluff, smut

tw: violence / explicit sexual content

word count: 1663

Monotonous.

That was the best word you could come up with to describe the past week. The days lulled on without change as you unfortunately pined after Levi, who still seemed to pay you no mind -- but today would be different. You had formed a hypothesis. It was lofty, optimistic guesswork with no actual backing, but it was a hypothesis nonetheless. If  you placed the right kind of pressure on Levi, then he would admit exactly what you wanted to hear. Your sadness about the situation, as melancholy typically does, had turned to spiteful anger; you needed to prove him wrong. Even if it amounted to nothing, even if you were left with sadness yet again.

"You want me to what?" Jean asked you in a whisper, face drawn up in disgust. You laughed at him before retraining your eyes on the back of Levi's head. His hair had been cut recently. It looked nice.

"Come on, Jean. It won't be that bad. It's just for a few days at most. I'll hate it just as much as you will. It's a game," you replied just as quietly. Despite his protests, you knew it wouldn't take too much convincing. He cared about you too much to tell you no. You gave him your most sincere puppy-dog eyes, watching the disgust on his face morph to a mix of disappointment and amusement. Score.

"I'll do it," he conceded, laying his forehead in his palm. You knew it wouldn't take much effort. Your plan, albeit a little childish, was what you had deemed a sure-fire experiment to test your hypothesis. Hange would be proud.

Levi, as careless as he may seem, irrefutably had anger as his foremost emotion. He was quick to it, and he wore it well. With such constant anger came many things: a gentle side well-contrasted by the rough exterior that ruled others' perception -- proven true; a likely mix of mood swings and impulsivity -- also relatively evident; and, most importantly, a tendency toward jealousy -- completely unproven but heavily suspected. You relied on that suspicion to make sense of the mixed signals he had given you.

You'd been considering it for days; after a while, you grew weary of being ignored. It beat down on you like a rain shower, leaving you to helplessly question the meanings of fleeting moments within the confines of the infirmary. Being unsure was decidedly the worst part. An explicit yes-or-no answer was annoyingly required to calm your racing mind -- accepting his words at face value was impossible.

You followed the outline of his jaw with your eyes as he spoke to Hange, who was sitting at his side. He always looked so well put together. You fantasized about his hair in disarray and his clothes hanging loose -- how he looked on the morning after the night you spent together. You had long grown past embarrassment; every self-pitying thought soon became validating as the nights in the infirmary consolidated into your definition of Levi. You were sure, entirely, that this newfound attitude towards you was all for show. Otherwise, how could someone so callous become so gentle?

His collected gaze was aimed anywhere that wasn't at you. Jean's stories of certain stolen glances when you weren't looking were enough to assure you that he wasn't as unbothered as he seemed. Sometimes you wished you could catch his eye just to send him a soft smile -- to remind him that the two of you weren't just unreasonably disliked acquaintances. You were almost tired of being mad at him; unfortunately for him, however, you were quick to anger, too.

When you were dismissed to training, you weren't slow to get up. You tossed your tray atop the stack of others and made your way out the door, other scouts surrounding you to form a crowd. Jean put his arm around you when you found yourself outside the door; but, instead of swinging it casually around your shoulders, he slid it snugly around your waist. You watched as he shook his head, eyes rolling so hard you were sure they'd come out of their sockets.

When you looked back, you swore for a moment that you met a pair of narrowed grey eyes.

---

The training exercise was your least favorite of them all: the insufferable wooden-titan practice you'd done a month or so before. You fell in line with the rest of your comrades, your gaze traveling to Levi's stance atop a tree branch. He was leading this exercise, and although it was better for your experiment, it was hard to ignore how hard he had been on you. Slack didn't seem to be in his vocabulary. You wanted to do well.

You all lied in wait for his go-ahead, your hands positioned over the triggers on your gear. It would be your first time using ODM again; luckily, legs weren't really necessary. You looked forward at the back of Bertholdt's head, knowing Jean stood a few feet behind you. Last time you finished -- third? Maybe second? You were confident you could do it again.

You saw Levi travel towards the middle of the group of trees for a better view. "Alright," he called, several yards away. "Go."

It only took a few seconds to realize you were rusty when you fell to the middle of the group. Jean had already passed you, along with Connie and Sasha. Nearly a month out of training had done more damage than you thought. You fought to stay ahead of the curve, your eyes failing you to glance at Levi's disappointed face. You made eye contact for a split second, your chest swelling against your will. A lift of his eyebrow forced your line of sight forward as you narrowly missed a tree branch. He scoffed, loud enough for you to hear him. How embarrassing.

Whether by luck or underestimation, you were surprised that several scouts remained in the exercise when you landed. Levi had moved towards the edge of the trees now, so you could still see him from your place in the grass. You wondered if he knew, and if he had glanced your way, too. Your plan relied on the fact that he had and would again.

You waltzed to where Jean stood, away from the others and sipping from his canteen. You slid your hand into his, fingers interlocking as he gagged playfully. "Your hands are sweaty," he said, discomfort clear in his tone.

You laughed, squeezing his hand. "Yours just feel greasy. Have you washed them recently?" The two of you continued joking back and forth as your eyes darted over your shoulder at Levi. You told yourself that acting as if you didn't even notice him would be the best way to go; it was difficult, though. You wanted to gauge every reaction as clearly as you could -- that's how experiments work, right?

You caught him staring for the very first time. When you met his eyes, his gaze did not falter. He simply lowered one eyebrow inconspicuously. You looked away as quickly as you could to hide the triumphant grin spreading across your face; he had seen, and he didn't look happy. The experiment, though, was not yet complete. You wanted more.

As the last few scouts landed, you and Jean took a seat, hands still interlocked in the clammiest, most uncomfortable form of physical affection you had experienced to date. To make matters worse, you decided to lay your head snugly in the slope from his neck to his shoulder. Of course, you and Jean were not strangers to physical affection, as most close friends weren't. Nonetheless, the connotation behind the prolonged hand-holding and casually romantic cuddling was uncomfortable at best. You were lucky he couldn't tell you no. Another strike of luck was that everyone was used to seeing the two of you close and comfortable, and it would be difficult to anyone not intently watching to notice a difference; were there any downsides to having a male best friend?

"Is he looking?" you whispered nudging Jean with your shoulder.

"I don't know," he whispered back, "I'm facing the same way as you."

You snorted. "No shit. Just look around. Don't make it obvious."

You felt his head turning, looking both ways out at the scouts that surrounded you. "Okay, yeah. He's looking. He didn't even look away when he saw me. He looks pissed."

You smiled. Your hypothesis was not far from being proven true; you just needed another push. "You're not going to want to do this," you told Jean, trying to hide the mischievous grin overtaking your face.

"I'm not doing it. No way."

"Jean, please!"

"Nope. Not happening."

"It'll only last a second," you said in the most convincing tone you could muster.

"This is a stupid plan," he answered, a sigh of concession building in his lungs. You had won, yet again.

"Just kiss me. Fuck, it's only once."

And so he did. He tasted like the disgusting soup you had eaten for lunch. It lasted only a couple of seconds, but you were subject to the time-slowing force that only came from ecstasy and torture. This time, it was the torture kind. When he pulled away, you forced a grin for show. Through your teeth, you said, "I think that was the worst thing that's ever happened to me. Ever."

He laughed, squeezing your hand. "It couldn't have been worse than what just happened to me. Remind me to wash out my mouth with soap later." You looked over your shoulder to see Levi still staring, his jaw set in anger. What could be more satisfying?

When you were all dismissed from the exercise, you were sure to walk slowly as you and Jean swung your conjoined hands back and forth. Surely real couples don't hold hands this long, you thought; this much sweat can't be comfortable. Before you saw him, you heard Levi's voice at your side.

"Get cleaned up and get to my office. I need a word with you."

Had it really been this easy the whole time?

[rohad93]

Sea Legs

My last fic before i go on hiatus for the duration of season 2.

Have a good one yall!

~ ~ ~

Luz stared listlessly out at the sea as the ship bobbed along; bored. The same rolling blue-green ocean stretched out for miles in every direction just as it had every day for the past month and a half, endless and unchanging. She loved the sea, really, she did; it was why she had left home the first minute she was able to and had joined the first ship that would take her.

The Tawny Owl was a 'merchant' ship. At least that was what it’s captain, Edalyn Clawthorne, or The Owl Lady or Cap'n Eda, as she preferred to be known, called it.

Even though Cap'n Eda used actual finger quotes around the word 'merchant', they definitely did sell things

Just, things that weren't theirs.

Luz didn't mind it really.

They didn't kill anyone… Well, she didn't. If people got unruly while Tawny Owl crew was trying to take their things then Eda was sometimes known to fire off a few rounds or toss someone overboard and 'let the ocean do as it would'.

King also had a bit of a mean streak when the moment struck him. The first mate was a small man with an ego and temper that was much larger than he was and was prone to exploding at a moment’s notice.

He cared though, in his own way.

Hooty, though, was… something else.

Despite their, sometimes, shady nature, Luz loved the Cap’n and the rest of the crew just as much as she loved the sea. She’d grown up on stories of sea monsters and daring adventures across the water in large, gallant ships. People going to far-off places to see new things.

That was what she wanted and she did get a lot of it. She’d met all kinds of people and characters in her five years sailing with Eda and the rest of the crew.

All that being said, sometimes, the long weeks and months at sea could be very, very boring.

Not all the time. Somedays, when they weren’t doing the usual tasks of tightening ropes, repairing sales or swabbing the deck they would fish over the side of the boat.

Most of them fished with a net or string, but Barrelman Hooty, would climb down from the crow's nest and dive straight into the water, knife clenched between his teeth.

Luz would never understand the large, muscular man, but he was nice and took care of her a lot. More than once he’d hauled her out of the way of danger but, even so, he was more than a little strange. Like how he liked to wear two eye-patches… even though both his eyes were fine.

She’s asked Eda once and the answer had been a shrug. There were some things that just defied explanation.

They had been out at sea for a month now, chasing after an actual merchant ship that had been rumored to have some incredibly rare and precious cargo on board that wasn’t exactly well guarded. That had been enough for Eda to have them heave to.

So now, here they were, weeks into a chase, well, sort of. They were sneaking up on the merchant ship a little more each day, waiting for the perfect time to hit it when they pulled into dock near Port Royal.

They should be coming up on it tonight and, in Eda’s words, were going to ‘Rob it blind and then blast it to kingdom come if we have to!’

Luz was content to wonder just what kind of priceless goods the ship could be carrying to not have much in the way of protection. Most of the time they did that so as not to draw attention to themselves. Of course, they’d hit their share of bum ships that they thought would have goods but hadn’t had much of anything, much to Eda’s chagrin. That was just the sort of risk they took.

She leaned her arms on the side of the ship, watching the waves lap at the worn wooden hull. The sun was starting to set and they would be moving in soon.

The plan was simple, in theory. They would pull into the dock and she would slip onto the ship while the rest of the crew made distractions of themselves. Hooty was really good at that too.

She stood there for a long while, getting lost in her thoughts and listening to the distant sounds of seagulls as they flew overhead; the heat from the sun was tempered by the cool breeze that was pushing them steadily through the water at a good clip. The sun had just started to set when she heard Hooty call down from the crows nest.

“Land, hoot!”

Luz shook her head at the strange man’s queer turn of phrase but looked up anyway and turned her eyes towards the horizon. Sure enough, she could see a dark smudge on the horizons, slowly growing  

“Ya ready to go, kid?” A sudden voice called and Luz looked up as Eda walked up to her, grinning brightly, arms crossed over her chest and her maroon and gold captain's jacket hanging off her shoulders.

“As ready as ever, I guess,” she shrugged as Eda came to stand next to her looking out at the sea.

“That’s the spirit!” she laughed, slapping the young woman on the back as she snorted. Luz grinned at her. This would hardly be the first time they had pulled this trick. Luz was by far the quietest and most inconspicuous member of the crew and thus, the best suited for the job when stealth was required.

Quiet in the grand scheme of things? No but definitely the quietest and least destructive member of the crew.

They didn’t wanna fight if they didn’t have to.  

They definitely would though if the occasion called for it.

“What am I looking for exactly?” Luz asked, brows furrowing as she looked at Eda, who shrugged.

“Anything that looks like it might be worth money.” She held up her fingers and rubbed them together with a grin.

“Right…” Luz nodded and Eda clapped her on the back one more time.

“No worries, kid. This will be an easy job,” Eda assured her and, with that, turned and walked back toward the helm where King was glaring at a map that looked suspiciously like it was upside down.

Eda said that about most jobs, but it wasn’t exactly as easy as she made it out to be.

Within the hour, they pulled into port and, just down the dock from them, was the large ship they had been following for the better part of a month.

They waited, watching it as the most of the crew filed off once night fell and made their way to the nearby tavern.

“You ready, kid?” Eda asked her and Luz nodded. “You know what to do.” She grinned as the rest of the crew moved off the ship, to throw their plan into action

Luz nodded and, with a canvas bag thrown over one shoulder, she took a breath before heaving herself overboard into the waiting, dark waters below. She hit the cold water in a sudden rush, becoming all but weightless for a moment as she plunged through the water.

No matter how many times they pulled this stunt, she never got tired of that part.

Except when it was really cold.

She surfaced with minimum noise and shook her head, wiping some water off her face as she swam toward the other ship. The closer she got, the more she could hear the yelling and fighting of metal clanging as cutlasses clashed and musket shots rang out in the night. Eda and the rest of the crew, already creating a distraction.  

She swam up to the ship's hull and grabbed hold of one of the ropes dangling down into the water and tensed as she started to haul herself out of the water, carefully and slowly climbing up the side. The sounds of fighting was growing slightly more distant at this point. Her crew were leading whatever people had remained on the ship away. With a grunt, she hauled herself up, peeking over the side to the deck. It was empty and she flung herself over the side, pushing her sopping wet hair back out of her eyes. She moved quickly to the captain’s quarters and didn’t need to look long before she found the captain’s log and took it with her, flipping through to the back and finding the cargo log. She scanned the list quickly and found all the usual suspects. Spices, wood, soap. Nothing that really jumped out at her except one thing.

A very large crate, marked as exotic meat, heading to a well known and expensive eatery in the capital. There was nothing special about that though so she shoved the book into her bag and hurried back out onto the deck and scurried to the entrance that led below deck, where whatever they were carrying would be kept. Her time was ticking by quickly and she didn’t want to be left on board when the rest of her crew pulled back and this ship’s crew came back.

It was dim down in the hull of the ship; a few oil lamps hung from the wall, their flames flickering and casting long shadows across everything. She walked as quickly and quietly as possible across the creaky floorboards, eyes skittering across all the crates scattered around the room but nothing immediately stuck out to her as being important. She’d been with Eda long enough to have developed an eye for things that might be worth something, most of the time anyway. Most of the crates were marked with stamps for things she knew and had been marked in the log book. Tea, spices and the like but nothing like what Eda had expected to be here. There were a few sacks on the floor that she ruffled through and found some tiny bags or uncut gemstones, which she stored in her bag. It was better to come back with something than nothing at all.      

She moved quickly, searching through everything she could but there was nothing here that Luz would call a ‘great treasure’ she grunted to herself, frowning. Eda wasn’t going to be happy but there wasn’t much to be done about it. As she moved, she caught sight of the large crate sitting against the wall and with nothing to lose, moved over to it. It was longer than she was tall and came up to her waist. She gave  it an experimental kick and jumped when something thumped back.

“Wha-!” She reeled back, blinking at the crate but nothing else happened. She leaned forward, hand raised and gently taped on the box but this time, there was no answer. She blinked at the box for a long second.

Maybe she’d imagined it?

Just as she was about to turn and go, the box thumped again, making her jerk.

Something was in there!

She looked around and quickly found a prybar, not even pausing to consider just what might be inside before she wedged the bar under the lip of the crate and with a grunt and a mighty crack, pried the lid loose, sending her stumbling back

It crashed over the side, falling to the floor and the sharp, salty smell of sea water immediately hit her. She took a cautious step forward and peered into the crate. It was full of dark, murky water and… something else. Something glimmered dimly just under the surface but it was too dark to see.

She ran over and grabbed one of the oil lamps hanging from a nail on the wall and moved back to the crate, holding the light over the lips of the box.

Something, green, glimmered below the surface and she leaned closer toward the water, squinting into the depths.

Suddenly the water sloshed and she jerked back with a shriek, landing flat on her butt on the floor and jarring her tailbone painfully as something broke the surface of the water. She scrambled to sit back up, fumbling for the lamp and holding it up in front of her.

Luz felt her jaw all but come unhinged as she stared back at… a woman?

A woman was staring back at her from the confines of the crate but she didn;t look like any woman Luz had ever seen before.

The first thing she noticed was her hair. It lay wet and flat against her shoulders in a bright shade of pale green that Luz had never seen on someone before with long strands of ruddy brown at the crown, pulled away from her angular face.

The next thing was her ears.

Long and pointed.

“Wha-” Luz continued to gape as a pair of bright, golden-colored eyes stared back at her in a glare.

Just when she thought she couldn’t be any more surprised, something else flipped up out of the water.

Long, blue-green fins attached to an expanse of scaly flesh. The scales seemed to shimmer and shine even in the low light of the lamps.

A tail.

A handful of stories from her childhood suddenly popped into the forefront of Luz’s mind. Tales of sea creatures, half-human and half-fish, that swam faster than any man could ever hope and had no need to breathe.

Old wives’ tales of pulling sailors under the depths to drown. Creatures that would steal and hoard the treasure from sunken ships.

“A mermaid…,” Luz heard herself mumble, almost unbidden. Her shocked stupor was broken only as the tail splashed back down into the water and droplets of warm, seawater splashed her in the face, making her blink. “Wow, you’re…” she scrambled back to her feet and took a step forward but then the creature… woman? The woman in front of her jerked back, spine pressed against the side of the crate, shoulders bunched up around her neck, and Luz stopped, holding up her hands. “It’s okay… I’m not gonna hurt you or anything,” she tried to calm her but those sharp eyes only continued to glare at her silently. Luz frowned, humming. “You probably don’t understand me,... do you?” she asked and, again, silence was her answer.

She moved slowly around the crate, careful not to actually get any closer but those golden iris’s never left her. Not that Luz could blame her. She wouldn't be happy about being shoved into a crate either. She had a swathe of bright magenta fabric wrapped around her chest, studded with what looked to Luz like sea glass and pearls. Their shiny surfaces catching in the light.

A real-life mermaid, just like in her stories! Luz could hardly believe her eyes.  

“You must be the thing…,” she breathed quietly but then frowned. The thing they had come looking for…

She jerked, suddenly and again the sea creature jerked back, sloshing water out the sides of the crate but Luz didn’t notice as she dug the log book out of her bag and quickly scanned it and found absolutely no mention of any mythical sea creatures or even anything alive on their manifest.

In fact, the only thing that even came close to matching the description of the crate in front of her was the one line of text she had noticed.

Exotic meat…

“Ay dios mio, they're gonna eat you!” she yelped, dropping the book to the floor. She didn’t notice the way the woman’s eyes widened. “I gotta do something…,’ Luz mumbled to herself, pacing the room quickly and chewing on her bottom lip as her thoughts raced a mile a minute.

The ocean was only just outside… she only had to get her upstairs. Luz whipped back around to lock eyes with the mermaid, staring back at her.

She couldn’t just let some stupidly rich aristocrats eat a mermaid and call it exotic meat!

She took a step forward and, predictably, she pressed herself back against the far wall of the crate.

“It’s okay,” She held up her hands as she slowly approached but she could see it in the woman’s eyes, as clear as day.

Fear.

“I’m not gonna hurt you but if I don’t get you outta here soon, someone else will,” she spoke in low, quiet tones as she approached. Time was slipping through her fingers like sand as she spoke. They were both going to get it if she couldn’t get out of here quickly. She took another step forward and the creature’s lips pulled back over a pair of fang-like eyeteeth, trying to ward her away, her tail splashing angrily in the water and Luz paused.

There was no way she was going to let Luz get her out without a fight.

There was no way she was going to let people eat a rare and mythical creature.

“Okay then!” She bowed up and the woman seemed to draw back some but the snarl never left her face and then Luz quickly covered the last few paces to the crate and grabbed her.

To predictably disastrous results.

Apparently, mermaids have claws; who knew?

Luz let out a pained sound as she dragged the struggling creature out of the crate, hauling it over her shoulder and sloshing sea water everywhere as she felt the sharp lashes of claws digging painfully into her back, searching for an escape.

She turned and ran, doing her best to keep her balance as a long, muscular tail whipped around frantically and the woman growled and snarled in her grip as she clawed at her.

“I’m just trying to help you!” she yelled as she sprinted up the stairs, panting. She was solid and the thrashing around while mauling her didn’t help Luz in the least.

She managed to make it up onto the deck, still flailing as she stumbled around, trying to maintain her balance as the woman thrashed in her arms.  

“Please be still!” Luz hissed, voice pitching as she felt another talon dig through her thin tunic, shirt, and skin. Why did she have to be so dang nice!?

Just as she was crossing the deck the woman reared back in another attempt to break free and then blinding pain shot across Luz’s face in a trail of fire from above her eye down her cheek.

“Argh!” She stumbled but managed to keep her footing and made a beeline straight for the side of the ship, despite the warm blood she could feel dripping down her face. She didn’t hesitate to throw the woman over the side, watching as she hit the water with a splash. She didn't resurface but Luz figured she’d swam off the moment she’d hit and then she realized the sounds of fighting had stopped.

“You, stop!”

She looked over her shoulder to find the crew had returned and were darting across the deck toward her.

“Bye!” she grinned, wiggling her fingers.

She threw herself over the side of the boat and fell to the water with a splash. Limbs akimbo as she hit the water like a cannonball and didn’t even pause before she started swimming back to the Tawny Owl, beneath the dark water. The salt water burned her myriad of cuts but that was much preferred to a musket shot through the back so she never slowed, holding her breath as she moved through the water back toward the ship.

When she finally resurfaced with a gasp, it was on the other side of the ship, out of sight. She panted as she swam off to the dock and hauled herself up onto the planks. Now that the adrenaline was wearing off she felt every gash in her skin with striking clarity and she didn’t like it at all.

It. Hurt.

She walked down the dock toward the Tawny Owl , consoling herself with the thought that she had done the right thing. Even if the recipient hadn’t exactly been grateful about it…

She wiped a sopping wet arm across her face and pulled her sleeve back to see the blood quickly seeping into the fabric of her sleeve. She’d gotten her good too.

Eda was waiting for her when she finally climbed up the plank.

“Hey, Kid, how was - What the hell happened to you?!” Eda’s shout got the attention of all the rest of the crew as she jogged forward, eyes darting over Luz’s bloody face.

Luz paused. She couldn’t very well tell Eda she had rescued a mermaid from being someone's dinner. She probably wouldn't have even believed her to start with and, even if she did, knowing the opportunistic captain, Eda would’ve wanted to sell her for sure.

“They had… dogs,” she said after a moment.

“Dogs?” Eda repeated and Luz nodded.

“Guard dogs, they attacked me down in the hold,” She quickly lied as Eda looked at her back and chased a breath at whatever she saw.

“They tore you up, Kid…, You best go down and see Viney,” she said and Luz nodded; it felt like it.

“So what, we got nothing from all that time?!” King’s sudden squeal made her stop and Eda looked at her questioningly.

“I did manage to grab these, that was really all there was except some crates of tea and stuff.” She dug through her bag and handed over the little bags of gemstones, which Eda appraised for a moment before nodding and slipping them into the inner pocket of her captain’s coat.

“We can make some decent money off these, not a total loss, good job, Kid. Now, go see Viney, you’re bleeding all over my freshly swabbed deck!” She ordered and Luz didn’t need to be told twice before hurrying down to see the ship’s doctor.

Viney whistled loudly as she examined the litany of long cuts in Luz’s skin as she wiped away the blood.

“Them things got you good, didn’t they?” she commented as Luz sat on a stool in front of her, bandages in hand.

“Yeah,” Luz mumbled with a nod. Her whole back was a mass of throbbing but Viney assured her she would be fine, so the deckhand contented herself with playing with the doctors large, black parrot, Puddles.

“Strange though….” she hummed and Luz glanced at her over her shoulder.

“What?”

“You don’t have any bites… just all these long gashes… are you sure it was dogs?” she asked and Luz paused in her petting of the bird.

“Oh yea… big ones,” Luz nodded and Viney just hummed but said nothing else about it. Once she was all patched up, Viney sent her on her way with orders of no heavy lifting till her gashes closed up some.

She caught sight of herself in the dirty mirror as she stood to go and saw the bloody gash that trailed from just over her left eyebrow and down her cheek, thankfully, missing her eye. That was going to leave a mark for sure.

“Hey, I finally got my first cool scar!” She grinned and from behind her, Viney just laughed.

~  ~  ~

The day was bright and a gentle breeze was blowing across the sea as Luz sat on a plank lowered down the side of the ship as she used a knife to scrape the barnacles off the hull.

It was ‘chore day’ on the Tawny Owl and that meant all of the general maintenance required to keep them afloat like mending the sails and replacing old, frayed ropes. They sat out in the middle of the ocean so they wouldn't be bothered while they worked.

Since she was off any kind of heavy lifting duty’s, per Viney’s specific orders, Eda had given her the easiest job on the ship. Luz was pretty sure she felt bad for sending Luz down into a ‘dog infested’ hull to grab loot too.

The truth was a secret Luz would take to her grave.

She and Eda were pretty close but she didn’t want to test that by telling her that she’d been mauled by a honest to goodness mermaid; a mermaid that someone would probably pay through the nose for. Luz had literally thrown a fortune overboard. That wouldn’t be a fun conversation to have.

She hummed along to the sound of the song the rest of the crew was singing up on deck as it wafted down to her by the water.

“To bring us sugar and tea and rum!” she sang quietly to herself, head bobbing along to the jaunty tune as she wedged the blade under another barnacle.

She let her mind drift back to that fateful night. She could still clearly see the glint of those scales in her mind, could still see the pointed ears and eyes as bright and shiny as the doubloons Eda was always running through her fingers in her quarters.

A real, living mermaid. She could still hardly believe it and might have thought it all a dream had her throbbing back and newly scarred up face not confirmed the reality of the situation.

Luz was still struck by how otherworldly and pretty she had been… despite the whole mauling thing...

Who in their right mind would think to eat one?!

She was lost in her thoughts when the sound of splashing water made her look up and turn. The gentle waves lapping at the boat seemed undisturbed and she didn't see anything. More than once she’d been down here and something had jumped out of the water and smacked her before, so she kept a careful eye out. You only needed to be smacked in the face by a tuna once to learn that lesson.

Seeing nothing, she turned back to the task at hand but as she turned she did spot something, sitting on the plank beside her.

An oyster shell sat on the wood beside her and sitting there, inside it, was a pearl.

“Huh?” Luz looked around but was greeted by nothing but ocean waves. She set down her knife and picked up the oyster, it was still wet and dripped as she carefully rolled it out onto her palm. It was perfectly round and smooth between her fingers.

“Where… where did it come from?” she mumbled, scratching her head with her other hand as she gazed down at the small jewel. With a shrug she slipped the pearl into the front pocket of her shirt and turned back to the task at hand but she couldn’t shake the feeling that she was being watched.

She nearly forgot about it entirely until a few days later.

They had come to a stop in the middle of the ocean to fix a tear in the mainsail at about sundown and while they did, Luz lowered herself down to the water in one of the rowboats, determined to do some fishing while she had the time and Hooty was too busy helping with the sails to go diving into the water, scaring them all away.

The boat bobbed along in the, for once, placid water. There was hardly a breath of wind, as was often the case at this time of day. When the sun began to sink over that distant horizon it caught the sea ablaze in sparkling hues of red, orange, and pink. The ocean sat quiet, or, as quiet as it ever got.  

The tear in the sail came from a little... incident between Hooty and King rather than any storm or winds. Luz hummed to herself as she cast out her line and set her little driftwood pole against the side of the boat. Now all she had to do was wait.

Admittedly, that was not her strongest suit.

So, she picked up the old worn book at her side and flipped it open, the pages filled with a great number of charcoal sketches. Some were messy, a jumble of lines and shapes with no rhyme or reason while others were smooth, refined, and accurate to life in their detail. Fish and other sea life spread across the parchment.

She was pretty happy with some of them.

She flipped to the last sketch she had been working on and frowned to herself. Sketchy lines and rough shading of a long, scaly tail and a face with pointed ears. She wasn’t happy with it. She needed more than a few moments of seeing her but that wasn’t going to happen now, so she did the best she could.

The warm, waning sunlight glared into her eyes as she sat hunched over her sketchbook, looking up occasionally to check her line. In an hour she’d caught one measly little fish about the length of her palm and not much else.

She sketched out another line and frowned to herself when she pulled back to look at it. It was all wrong! She grunted and set the charcoal between the crease of the pages and closed it with a snap, setting it off to the side.

She leaned back in the boat, looking up at the clear blue sky, and sighed. Her mind inevitably went back to thinking about the mermaid whenever she had a spare moment. All those stories she had heard and read as a kid, all the tales of grand adventures and mystery that had led her to this life to start with and she had finally come face to face with something truly incredible…

...and it had tried to maul her.

To be fair, she probably would have been scared and less than welcoming if she’d been stuffed in a crate and was being shipped out to be some governor's exotic dinner. They had been trailing that ship for a month. She had to have been in there for at least that long, probably longer. Did they feed her or just leave her in a dark, water-filled crate?

Luz frowned to herself and closed her eyes. The thought made her angry.

At least she was free now.

Probably somewhere far away.

There was a sudden splash and, before Luz could even open her eyes, something large, wet and wriggling slapped her in the face.

“Argh!” She sat up, eyes snapping open as a large tuna fell into her lap, flopping and flinging seawater everywhere. “Mierda!” She tossed it off her onto the floor of the boat where it flopped around. “What the hell?!” She blinked at it for a long moment before the sound of sloshing water made her turn and her jaw hung open.

A pair of golden eyes were peering up at her from just above the water a scant few feet away.

Luz sucked in a sharp breath as she stared back at the eyes looking back at her.

“You…,” she mumbled. She could hardly believe her eyes.  “You’re here!” she jerked forward and the eyes reared back before disappearing beneath the water. “No, don’t go!” Luz called, scrambling for the other side of the boat and half throwing herself into the water.

She didn’t even register the saltwater stinging her eyes as she looked around frantically. The water was bright and clear and she blinked, coming face to face with those eyes again, blinking back at her in clear surprise. Luz opened her mouth to speak and bubbles poured out as saltwater rushed into her mouth.

She reared back, flinging water as she flopped back into the boat and choking on the water she’d swallowed.

Luz hacked and coughed, spitting up water, not noticing the eyes now peeking up over the side of the boat, watching her.

“Ugh!” she spat out the water and pushed the wet hair out of her face, blinking to clear her eyes. “Right… air,’ she grumbled to herself and wiped the water off her face.

She looked up and saw the creature looking at her over the rim of the boat.

“You’re here…” She honestly didn’t know what else to say in the face of a mythical creature staring back at her from the water with bright, curious eyes.

Till she did.

“Why are you here…?” she seemed to mumble more to herself than anything and she moved forward. Once more, the skittish creature dove under the water but Luz didn’t follow this time.

Not as far anyway. She leaned over the side of the boat and glanced into the water.

Just below the surface, the woman was staring back at her.

The large fish flopping around hit her leg and she glanced at it before turning her attention back to the water with sudden realization.

“You threw that up here… why?” she cocked her head.

The woman’s eyes seemed to linger on Luz’s face. It took Luz a moment to realize she was staring at the long, scabbed-over gash running down her left cheek.

She flicked her tail in a slow, almost sorrowful movement and Luz found herself mesmerized by its floating path through the water behind her, smooth and languid.

She dragged her eyes back to the mermaid's face. The creature brushed back floating tendrils of green hair and blinked slowly at her. Golden eyes lowered demurely as the face twisted in an expression that Luz recognized immediately: regret.

"You… wish that hadn't happened?" she asked.

The mermaid looked at her for a long moment and nodded. Then she darted forward, emerging from the water with a splash that made Luz lunge backward in fright.

The mermaid looked at the human, huddled in a crumpled heap at the bottom of the boat and sighed.

"I'm sorry... for what happened," she said finally, her voice low and her eyes quickly darting away from Luz’s.

Luz blinked up at her for a long moment as she held herself up on the side of the boat, making it tip dangerously under her weight.

“You do talk!” Luz jerked forward and the woman tensed but didn’t dive back into the water, though she did flinch away slightly.

“Yes…,” she mumbled and glanced back at the human only to find her staring up at her in wide-eyed wonder. Eyes, all but sparkling in the glinting light of the setting sun.

“This is amazing…” Luz mumbled to herself, absolutely flabbergasted, eyes darting everywhere. She was back, right here in front of her!

Suddenly, her brows furrowed as a thought occurred to her and she looked up at, brown meeting gold.

“Why are you here?” she asked, cocking her head and the mermaid turned away from her, pushing a few strands of wet, green hair behind her ear.

“I wanted to say thank you… for saving me… and I’m sorry… for the… clawing,” she mumbled, waving a hand over her own face. Luz reached up to touch the rough scabs over her cheek.

“It’s okay,” Luz said simply and then those gold eyes swiveled back to her. Shock and confusion clear in their metallic depths.

“It’s… how can you just say that… I…” She glanced down at the long, sharp claws that tipped each finger.

Luz arranged herself more comfortably on the floor of the boat, tipped precariously under Amity’s weight leaning on it.

“I probably woulda lashed out too if someone shoved me in a crate for who knows how long…,” she said with a little shrug. “I’ll heal” She waved a hand dismissively.

The creature still didn’t look content with that but nodded.

“Thank you…” she trailed off and Luz perked.

“I’m Luz.” She grinned, holding out a hand.

The woman blinked down at it for a second.

“Humans shake it when you meet new people,” Luz explained. Mermaids probably didn’t do that. Why did humans? Something to ask Eda later.

Hesitantly, she reached out and wrapped her hand around Luz’s, who gave a gentle shake. Her skin was damp but soft and smooth under Luz’s calloused grip.

“Amity,” she said and Luz grinned even wider.

She pulled back and happened to catch sight of the sea glass attached to the fabric wrapped around her chest and had a sudden realization.

“You left the pearl!” she suddenly yelped, making Amity jerk back at the sudden yell. “A couple days ago, when I was down by the water…”

“Oh… yes, that was me…,” she nodded.

“Have you… been following us this whole time?” she asked and Amity nodded her head. “Why? Just to tell me thanks?” Luz cocked her head and Amity’s eyes darted away, her tail flicked lazily out of the water, slapping the surface and disappearing again. She seemed to hesitate for a moment before nodding.              

“Yes, I… I didn’t know where I was being taken or what was going to happen until you showed up and said…” she seemed to trail off.

“That they were going to eat you?” Luz asked and she nodded.

“Yes… so, thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Luz smiled and before she could think to say anything else, a voice from up above called out to her; Morton.

“Hey, Luz! The sail's fixed, so we’re gonna get going, you ready to be hauled up?”

The boat suddenly rocked violently, sloshing water and Amity vanished beneath the rippling surface just as Morton stuck his head over the edge up above her.

Luz blinked at the water where she had vanished before turning up to the deckhand and nodding.

“Yeah, I’m ready,” she called, frowning and Morton nodded.

“Hey Hooty, come help me haul up Luz!” She heard him call, followed by an excited yell of agreement. A second later she was being hauled quickly up the side of the ship but her eyes were glued to the water below. A shadow moved through its depths before disappearing.

The second she hit the deck she grabbed her book and her fish and hurried off down to the kitchens.

~ ~ ~

A week later, Luz was still thinking about her meeting with Amity and wondering if the mermaid had left now that she had finally said what she wanted to Luz. They had been sailing along at a quick clip, heading towards Eda’s favorite place in all the seven seas; The Boiling Isles.

A collection of islands in one of the more dangerous areas of the sea. It housed a number of ramshackle little towns and bases, the majority of its residents being of the… non-law-abiding variety.

They managed to knock over a couple of merchant's vessels along the way and finally got a hoard that Eda was happy with, so she declared that they could take a couple week's rest and they returned to their own little reinforced hamlet in one of the Isles' many coves.

It was dark when Luz threw her things down in the meager shack nestled between Eda’s and Viney’s before heading back out to the beach. The moon was full and cast enough light in the clear sky that she could see just fine. It was late but the rest of the crew was in full swing of a drunken stupor and the yelling and screaming of their revelry echoed out into the bright, starlit night; there wasn’t going to be any sleep even if she wanted to.

Instead, she picked her way over the large black rocks that lined the shore and led out into the water. Her steps were careful, the lapping waves making the rocks slick in places but this was hardly her first time.

It wouldn't be her first time falling in either, and probably wouldn't be the last either.

Still, with her sketchbook firmly in one hand and a small bundle of goodies in the other, she made sure not to step anywhere the moonlight bounced off the wet stones before settling herself onto a large, flat rock that jutted out over the water. She flipped it open and grabbed the charcoal laying between it’s pages.

After the other day, she had a much clearer picture in her head and set to sketching. It was kinda rough at first. It had been a few days but she’d had a dream about glinting, blue-green scales and sharp ears.

She really wished she had some way to color it. Black just didn’t seem to do the lines justice; it would have to do though.

The distant sounds of her crew drinking and singing were nothing more than a whisper over the sound of the gentle waves lapping against the rock. She was zoning out, tongue poking out of her mouth as she worked carefully to get a line just right when a splash, not loud but distinctly louder than the rest, made her look up.

She nearly jumped out of her skin when she caught the pair of dimly glowing, gold eyes staring back at her from the other side of the rock.

“Amity!” She jerked, scrambling to the edge of the rock as the mermaid lifted further out of the water as she approached.

“Hi, Luz.” She smiled up at her and Luz couldn’t help but think how pretty she was when she wasn't snarling and growling at her anyway.

“What are you doing here?” she asked, setting her book to the side, careful to keep it away from the water dripping off Amity as she leaned her arms on the rock.

“I… uh…,” she mumbled, claws clicking on the rock as she tried to think of something to say and Luz couldn’t help the smile working its way onto her face.

“Did you follow us here?” she asked and grinned wider at the pale pink that seemed to break across Amity’s face. “Not that I’m complaining about seeing you again but don’t you have anything better to do than follow around a bunch of grumpy pirates?” she laughed.

Amity grew quiet at that and Luz frowned at the sudden tight look in her eyes.

“What’s wrong?” she asked quietly. Amity seemed to hesitate before looking up at her.

“I don’t know how to get back home,” she quietly admitted. “I don’t know how long I was in that box or even what direction it went,” she mumbled, voice tight and Luz’s eyes widened. She hadn’t thought about that.

They had been chasing that ship non-stop for the better part of a month and there was no telling how long Amity had been on board beforehand. She could be hundreds of thousands of miles from where she started.

“You don’t have any idea where you came from?” Luz asked and Amity shook her head, eyes trained on the rock beneath her. Her claws creating little gouges in the stone as she clenched her hands. Luz didn’t know what to say. ‘Sorry’ seemed sorely lacking but what else could she say?

“Do you want some candy?” was the next thing to pop out of her mouth and Amity looked up at her, questioningly.

“Can..dy?” she repeated the unfamiliar word and Luz nodded and scrambled back over to where she had left the little cloth-wrapped bundle. She snatched it up and hurried back over to Amity, sitting cross-legged in front of her as she untied the knot. A small pile of crystalline-coated fruits rolled around in her lap as she looked through them before selecting one and holding it out to Amity.

“It’s a type of human food. It’s sweet and they're really tasty. This one is my favorite,” she offered it out and the mermaid hesitated a moment before plucking the rock-like food from Luz’s palm. She hesitated, eyes darting up to look at Luz, searching and the human just smiled.

She popped it into her mouth and paused.

Luz watched her, silently, feeling herself grin as Amity’s eyes widened, sparkling with awe and delight. Her amazement doubled as she watched the two pointed ears twitch and it was maybe the cutest thing Luz had ever seen.  

“It’s… really good,” she mumbled around the treat, face breaking out in a smile. Her tail flipped out of the water, to flick lazily this way and that, sending droplets of water into the air.

“Right?” Luz asked with a chuckle as she popped one into her own mouth and set them on the rock in front of her, within Amity’s reach. Gold eyes flicked up at her, a silent question and Luz smiled. That seemed to be all the encouragement she needed to grab another.

“So, what are you going to do?” she asked and Amity frowned around her treat.

“I don’t know yet…” she admitted and Luz pursed her lips.

“Well, you’re welcome to hang out here with me till you do,” she offered and Amity looked up at her.

“Okay…,” she nodded.

They sat there for the next few hours as the moon made its way across the sky, talking. Luz told Amity about all the different places she had been and things she’d done since joining Eda’s crew. It amused Luz how fascinated she was by the simplest of human things. Some things, like ships she was familiar with but anything on land was new and wondrous to her and Luz happily explained everything to her; as best she understood it anyway.

“What’s that?” amity pointed a finger to the book in her hand.

“Oh! It’s my sketchbook.” She flipped the pages open to show Amity some sketches of the crew and a few animals.

“Oh…”

She flipped through a few more pages, Amity asking questions about the things like the horses, and dogs sprawled across it’s pages. Luz was hardly paying attention to the pages, more content to watch Amity’s face light up at each new drawing.

Till she flipped the page and Amity blinked.

“Is that… me?” she asked.

“Huh?” Luz leaned the book back and felt her face heat up as she stared down at her first, rough sketch of the mermaid. “Oh…. uh… yeah,” she finally said and reached up to rub the back of her neck nervously. She hadn’t meant to show her those.

“It doesn’t look finished…,” was all she said.

“No, I started this right after…”

You mauled me.

She wasn’t gonna say that!

“...after we met. I couldn’t remember everything well enough, so I gave up on it.” she shrugged as they lapsed into, what felt to Luz, tense silence. The gentle sound of the surf breaking against the rocks and shore was the only sound for a long few moments.  

“What about now?” she asked and Luz blinked at her. Her confusion must have been apparent because she carried on. “Do you think you could finish it now?” she asked, looking up at Luz, eyes filled with such bright curiosity and wonder that it made her breath stutter in her chest.

“Yeah… I think so,” she nodded. “I’ll work on it,” she promised and Amity nodded, seemingly indifferent but Luz could see the subtle rise at the corners of her mouth.

Eventually, the hour grew quite late, or early, and Luz noticed that the sounds of her crew had petered out into silence, no doubt they had all passed out by now. She herself was growing tired now.

Amity noticed too as her head started to bob down to her chest more and more often, eyes drifting closed.

“You should sleep…,” she said as Luz let out a jaw-splitting yawn and nodded drowsily. She stood and stretched, back giving a satisfying pop.  

“Yeah… will you be here tomorrow?” she asked, turning her gaze back to Amity as she picked up her things.

Amity stared up at her, face a mask of surprise and wonder before she schooled it into something more neutral and nodded.

“See ya tomorrow then!” Luz called before picking her careful way back down the rocks toward the shore.

Amity watched her go.

~ ~ ~

When they were docked, everyone kind of did their own thing if there wasn’t any repair work that needed to be done to the ship, as was sometimes the case after a raid. So no one really questioned it when Luz went darting down to the sea around noon the next day after throwing a canvas bag with some things in it into one of the rowboats sitting on the shore.

No one except Eda, who was down by the water, looking at the ship.

“Where’s the fire, kid?” she asked as Luz started shoving the boat out of the sand and into the water. “Don’t you get enough sailing already?” she laughed as Luz hopped in the boat.

“Just… enjoying the peace and quiet on the water, ya know how it is!” she laughed nervously but Eda nodded.

“Be careful,” she called before walking up the plank onto the ship.

Luz picked up the oars and rowed out into the ocean. Once she’d muscled her way through the swells moving inland the open water was smooth and placid, as gentle as it ever was anyway. The peaceful, constant movement bobbed her boat gently as she threw down the anchor.

She’d never exactly discussed with Amity where they would meet but the mermaid didn’t seem to have any trouble finding her either.

She waited, listening to the sounds of the surf for a little while before a gentle splashing made her grin as a familiar head of green hair broke the surface of the water.

“Amity!” Luz grinned down at her.

“Hi, Luz,” the mermaid smiled up at her shyly, brushing a few strands of wet hair out of her face.

“Where did you stay last night… Do mermaids even sleep? She asked, tapping a finger to her chin, suddenly curious and Amity snorted.  

“Yes, I sleep. I stayed in the coral reef below us,” she said.

“There's a coral reef below us?” Luz asked wide-eyed and Amity nodded. This was the first time she had heard of it but then again, she wasn’t surprised her crewmates didn't appear to know about it. One of the most surprising things she'd learned as a pirate was that a great majority of sailors couldn’t swim or were even afraid of the ocean. That was just crazy to Luz, she loved to swim.

That little fact was one of the reasons Eda often put her on duties that took her very near or in the water. As far as she knew, herself, Hooty, and Viney were the only members of the crew that would get within ten feet of water deeper than their waist.

“As in, directly below us?” she asked, and again, Amity nodded. “Can you show me?” she asked and Amity’s eyes widened.

“You can swim?” she asked, seeming to peer over the edge of the boat at Luz’s legs, looking in disbelief. That only made the pirate laugh.

“Of course I can swim. I am an excellent swimmer!” she jerked a thumb toward herself but faltered. “I mean, not even half as good as you probably, but for a human, I'm great!” She asserted and Amity giggled under her breath.

“Okay, I’ll show you,” she nodded and Luz dumped her canvas bag out, pushing everything under one of the slatted benches to keep out of the sun and slung it over her shoulder.

“Why do you need that?” Amity questioned as she moved around.

“Coral makes great medicine, the ship's doctor, Viney, crushes it up to use in ointments and stuff. She mentioned we were running low and would need to stock back up before we left the Isles. I can kill two birds with one stone!” she explained.

“Why would you kill birds?” The mermaid cocked her head.

“It's just an expression, nevermind that. Let’s go!” She grinned before taking a deep breath and diving over the side of the boat, into the water with a loud splash.

Luz opened her eyes and the water briefly stung but she was pretty used to it and glanced around before finding Amity, looking at her curiously and she grinned, careful not to let out any air or let water in.

She definitely wasn’t as good a swimmer as Amity, whose every movement propelled her quickly through the water with ease, down toward the ocean floor.

They weren’t too far out, so the water wasn’t terribly deep here and she got down there quick enough. She could see all the brightly colored plants and fish moving about the coral. She dug the knife out of her bag and quickly set about cutting off some of the long branches before the burning in her lungs made her shove both back inside and move quickly back toward the light.

She broke the surface with a gasp, panting as she sucked in large lungfuls of air.

“Are you okay?”

She glanced over at Amity, who had surfaced next to her and she nodded.

“Yeah, it's just deep enough that I can get there for just a minute before I need air,” she huffed, finally getting her breath back.

Amity hummed before grabbing her hand, making Luz blink.

“Hold your breath,” she instructed and Luz did so just before she was pulled under and they were moving quickly through the water toward the ocean floor.

The water rushed past her face as Amity pulled her down.

Yeah, definitely not even half as good a swimmer as her.

She was able to cut off a good bit and stuff it in her bag before she had to resurface again.

“That was way faster!” she turned to Amity and grinned. “You are a good swimmer!” Luz laughed.

Amity’s face seemed to color some at that and she shrugged.

Luz tossed her bag into the boat before taking a breath and diving back under. Moving back toward the bottom before a hand wrapped around hers and pulled her down to the bottom. The water rushing past her was exhilarating.

As was the hand wrapped firmly around hers and the blurry grin she could see on Amity’s face through the bubbles.

When she finally came to a stop, she grabbed hold of the coral to stay anchored and couldn't help but smile at all the colorful little fish and bright plants that moved about. She reached out to touch a cobalt bluefish but it quickly darted out of her reach.

They spent a long while exploring the depths around the shore before Luz finally had to climb, exhausted, back into the boat, flopping onto the floor. She was exhausted but didn’t wanna head back in yet.

Amity laid her arms on the sides of the boat and it dipped a little, making Luz slide toward her and she laughed, sitting back up.

“Oh, I brought you something” Luz pulled her things out from under the bench and unwrapped it. Amity peered at her curiously as she held out… something.

“It’s sweet bread,” Luz explained as Amity took it. “They were selling them over by the docks. I thought you might like to try it.”

She watched Amity take a tentative bite… quickly followed by several more.

“Good, right?” she asked, still holding her own in her hand. Amity nodded as she polished off the rest of hers quickly. Her eyes darted to Luz’s and she couldn’t help but grin and hold it out.

“That’s yours…” Amity frowned.

“I can get more later,” Luz assured her, still holding her hand out. Amity still hesitated but Luz just patiently held out the treat and after a moment she finally took it and devoured it like the first.

“Thanks,” she mumbled and Luz just grinned, pushing back the wet hair that had fallen in her face. Amity watched her intently.

“What?” Luz cocked her head and watched the mermaid's face flush.  

“Nothing!”  

“Uh, okay?” Luz blinked.

They spent the rest of the afternoon sitting there, talking and enjoying each other’s company before Luz finally had to go back in.

“I’ll see you tomorrow!” she called with a wide smile as she rowed back toward the shore.

“Bye, Luz,” Amity waved, then vanished under the waves, tail flipping out of the water for a moment before she was gone.

Luz felt her heart stutter in her chest.

~ ~ ~

The two weeks they spent docked on the Isles seemed to fly by for Luz. She woke early and got all the things she needed to do for the day out of the way and then made a beeline for the water.

She spent hours at a time bobbing along in the rowboat with Amity and always made sure to bring her treats from the little market in the Isles ‘capital’ Bonesburough.

The mermaid had proven to have quite a sweet tooth.

She often brought Luz things too, from the ocean floor. She’d amassed a small trove of gemstones, pearls, and shells that Amity had picked up out of the sands deep below them.

Luz laid, floating on her back on the water. Amity had her head laid across her stomach, her eyes closed. Where she was so heavy on land, she was nearly weightless in the water.  

Her head on Luz’s abdomen did funny things to her stomach and she briefly wondered in the back of her mind if it was weird… to have a crush on a mermaid.

It took her a week to figure it out. Once she got past the awe of a real living mermaid hanging around with her, a sense of giddy excitement had remained and it was only after talking to Viney, very vaguely, that she came to realize just why being around Amity made it feel like she didn’t know what to say or do with herself.

She still wasn’t really sure what to do. Could you have feelings for a mermaid? She didn’t have any reference for a regular crush, much less one on a mythical creature.

Not to mention the fact that Amity was… amazing and wonderful. Why would she ever want a regular old human like her? She pushed all those thoughts away for now.

“So, we’re setting sail first thing in the morning,” she said and glanced up to see Amity’s eyes open, looking back at her.

“You’re leaving the Isles?” she asked and Luz nodded.

“Eda got news of another ship that's going to be sailing near here soon and… well, she wants what’s on it.” She waved a hand.

Amity hummed, tail flicking out of the water quickly. Luz had started to pick up on her bodily mannerisms and the quicker than normal flicking of her back fins, though not so fast as to indicate annoyance, told Luz that she was, maybe, a little upset.

“How long would you be gone?” she asked quietly and Luz gave a little half-shrug.

“Could be a couple of weeks or a couple of months. It depends.”

“I could follow the ship…?” she offered and Luz had thought of that but she had thought of a few other things also. To what end was Amity sticking with her?

True, she didn’t know how to get back home but she couldn’t follow her forever… even if Luz kind of wanted her to.

“Is it safe for you to do that?” she asked, finally moving to float upright, next to Amity. “It can’t be safe for you to be out in open water all the time, can it?” she asked and Amity frowned, gaze skittering anywhere but on Luz. She’d told her a story or two about having to hide from sharks and things, which made Luz worry.

That wasn't the only thing that bothered Luz though. It would be much harder to get down to the water to see Amity, which only elevated the chances of someone seeing them and Luz still lived very much in fear that if Eda or the rest of the crew found out about her they would try to sell her.

“It’s… not the safest option,” Amity admitted.

“Then… maybe you should stay here while I’m gone…?” Luz offered and Amity’s frown deepened, as well as the quick back and forth of her tail.

“If you don't want me to come along then just tell me so, Luz,” she rumbled and Luz frowned.

“No, no. It’s not that I don't want you around, I do…!” she quickly hurried to say. She did. She very much wanted Amity around. Amity was the only thing that seemed to occupy her mind these last two weeks. Not to mention how badly Luz wanted to kiss her every time she smiled.

She quickly shoved that thought away and rested her hand on Amity’s shoulder.

“I just don’t want anything bad to happen to you, Amity.”

Reluctantly, Amity nodded and Luz smiled sadly at her.

“I’ll be back before you know it.. Oh! I have something to show you!” she smiled and crawled back into the boat, shaking off as much water as she could before she went digging through her bag. “Look at this!” She pulled out her sketchbook and turned the pages, careful not to drip on it before she turned it around to show her.

Amity’s eyes widened as she stared at the clean, smooth sketch staring back at her from familiar eyes.

Her own.

Luz’s sketch covered two pages and was done in the most excruciating detail. Every line and curve was sharp and clean. Each scale was accounted for on the length of her tail and every gem and accouterment on her wrap in its place.

“What do you think?” Luz asked, grinning proudly to herself. It had its flaws of course. She was still learning but it was a pretty good likeness of the mermaid if she did say so herself.  

“It’s beautiful, Luz.” Amity said, quietly, eyes still darting across every dark line.

“Ah, thanks. It kinda pales in comparison to the real thing but,” Luz shrugged, grinning sheepishly at her as she leaned over the side of the boat with the book.  

Gold eyes turned upward to her and seemed to stare back at her for a long moment, something behind them seemed to flicker and the next thing Luz knew, she tasted saltwater and all she could see was Amity.

It took her far too long to realize what was happening and when she did, Amity had already pulled back and was staring back at her, face pink and looking unsure.

Luz just stared back, mouth hanging open.

Amity had just kissed her.

Luz’s jaw moved soundlessly, unsure what to say. She’d been thinking about it but she hadn’t even entertained the idea of just… doing it.

“I…” she managed to get out but not much else before the pink across Amity’s face turned red.

“I’m sorry!” she suddenly squeaked and then turned and disappeared under the water.

“Wait, Amity!” Luz tossed her book aside and dove overboard, into the water but already, Amity’s form was becoming a blurry spot in the distance. She would never catch her.

Luz resurfaced, hands tightening into fists.

“Mierda!” She slapped her hands across the surface of the water.

~ ~ ~

Luz sighed to herself, not for the first time that day as the ship moved through the seemingly endless expanse of sea. The sky was dark and gray, promising storms; much like her mood.

They had been at sea for four days now and she hadn’t seen Amity since she had swam off. She hadn’t been waiting in the usual spot the next morning when she’d run down to the shore before they had set sail.

Why? Why hadn’t she said something… anything! Now, Amity probably thought she had rebuffed her when nothing could be further from the truth.

She could still feel the fleeting press of Amity’s lips on hers and she really wanted a do over there! She’d been taken by surprise!

Who knew if Amity would even still be there when she got back, or even want to see her. A cool, gust of wind whipped through the air and she sighed again, staring down at the water.

“You okay, Kid?”

Luz looked up to see Eda walking up to her, frowning and Luz frowned.

“Not really,” she admitted.

“Is it your lady friend?” Eda asked and Luz’s head shot up, jaw hanging open.

“How did you…?” she started and Eda grinned.

“Come on, Luz, I was young once. I used to sneak off at all hours of the day and night once too to meet some… ‘friends’.” She said with a smirk and Luz flushed. “Also, Viney told me you came to her asking for advice,” she laughed and Luz grunted.

‘Of course she did.’ Luz thought bitterly.

“So… what happened, she turn ya down?” she asked and Luz frowned.

“No... the opposite actually… she kissed me,” Luz said.

“So why do you look like someone spit in your rum?” Eda frowned.

“She surprised me and I just… stood there!” She threw up her arms. “Then Amity sw- ran off and I couldn't find her…,” she grumbled, slouching on the railing.

“Ah, that’s tough, kid. Maybe you can talk to this ‘Amity’ girl when we get back?” she suggested.

“I dunno if she’ll even still be there when we get back,” she grumbled to herself.

“Chin up, Luz. You’ll just have to wait and see.” Eda patted her shoulder. “We should be coming up on that ship within the hour so put your game face on!” Eda said before walking away and Luz nodded.

They had a job to do.

She stood up and gave herself a shake. There was nothing she could do about Amity right now and if she didn’t get her head in the right place she might end up on the wrong end of a saber.

~ ~ ~

The rain was pouring down in sheets and thunder rumbled across the sky; the occasional streak of lightning flashing in the dark was nearly indistinguishable from the flash of the canons as they.

“Keep firing!” Eda was yelling somewhere over the din as they constantly fired shots at the galleon bobbing along only about one hundred yards away.

Luz grunted as she loaded another canon, sharp needles of icy rain stinging her face as she did and the second the shot was in place, King was firing with a strangled cry of rage.  

“We’re gaining on them!” she heard Jerbo yell from somewhere behind her and Luz squinted into the rain. The ship definitely seemed to be getting closer… but not because they were gaining on it.

“Eda!” she whipped around to scream. “They’re heading straight for us!”

Sure enough, the ship had turned and was making a line straight for them through the storm.

“Prepare for a fight!”

They fired at the ship still till it all but rammed right into them, the force of the impact nearly sending everyone aboard stumbling to their feet.

“We’re being boarded!” someone yelled and thick boards clattered down across the expanse of sea between the two ships and the next thing Luz knew, fighting had broken out on the deck.

Shots rang out, almost muffled by the thunder.

Hooty had swung down from the crow's nest and went sailing right into a naval officer trying to board them, sending him into the dark waters below before he dropped onto the deck to grab the nearest barrel and chuck it into more trying to cross.

“Ha ha!” the man laughed crazily as Luz ducked under his next projectile. He still had both eyepatches pulled down over his eyes as he flung cargo around like it was made of paper.

Luz drew her knife; she hated this part of pirating.

A grappling hook flung over the railing, hooking in it and Luz rushed over and sliced the rope, sending the man on the other end plunging into the water with a scream.

She looked around, water running into her eyes and blinding her.

She could very easily see the man on the boarding planks, leveling his pistol at Eda, standing in the middle of the deck and firing shots.

“Eda, look out!”

She was much closer to him and jumped onto the planks and rammed herself into him, he tattered back over the edge, but not before his hand fisted into Luz’s soaked shirt and then she was plummeting into the dark water below with him.

She barely had time to scream before she hit the water and water rushed into her mouth.

She kicked up to the surface and sucked in a gulp of air before a wave broke over her head, forcing her back under.

It was dark and everything was moving too fast. She barely had a second where she was able to surface before more water rushed back over her, pulling her deeper into the water.

Then, she was pulled too far under and she could feel her lungs burning as she tried to swim back to the surface, only to be dragged down by the undertow.

She couldn’t hold her breath any longer and her mouth opened of its own volition. She sucked in a lungful of water and choked. Everything was going black as her eyes drifted closed.

A flash of green from the corner of her eye was the last thing she saw before the darkness overcame her.

~ ~ ~

Luz was vaguely aware of someone calling her name.

It was distant at first but steadily growing louder.

“Luz!”

Her eyes slowly slid open, everything was blurry at first but quickly coming back into focus as she stared up at Eda’s concerned face.

“Eda…?” she gurgled and the captain sighed in relief.

“I thought you were a goner, Kid,” she said, sliding a hand under Luz’s back and helping her sit up. Luz coughed, spitting up some water.

It was still dark and the thunder rumbled overhead but the rain had stopped.

“Did we win?” she asked, groggily looking around. The crew was moving about, cleaning up the mess that often accompanied the end of a battle.

“Sure did! Sunk them suckers to the bottom of the ocean! Got an extra prize out of it too, thanks to you!” Eda grinned and Luz blinked at her.

“Whaddaya mean?”  she asked and Eda only continued to grin as she stood and helped Luz to her feet.

“I’ll show ya,” she jerked her head and Luz followed her across the deck and down into the hold. “We couldn’t find you and I was… the crew was afraid you’d drowned… till something pulled you up…”

“Something…? Luz asked as they rounded the corner of some crates down below and came face to face with the last person she expected to see.

Amity.  

She was strung up in the rafters in a net and looked absolutely miserable till her eyes fell and Luz. Gold eyes lit up and she sat up best she could in the tangled net.

“Ay dios mio!” Luz darted forward.

Eda blinked as Luz ran across the room to the net hanging off the floor.

Luz’s fingers tangled in the nets' holes. “Are you okay!?” Luz cried.

“I’m okay…” Amity’s fingers wrapped around hers through the netting.

“What are you doing here?” Luz hissed and Amity frowned.

“I… followed when you left. I wanted to tell you I was sorry for what happened…”

“No!” she all but yelled, making the mermaid jerk. “Don’t be sorry! It was my fault… you surprised me is all…,” she mumbled.

“Okay, what’s going on.” Eda walked up behind her. “That thing can talk and you know it.” Eda frowned.

“It’s not an it! This is Amity…,” Luz admitted.

“Wait… Amity like, your lady friend, Amity?” Eda blinked owlishly at her and Luz pinked but nodded. “The mermaid?” she gestured and again Luz nodded.

Eda stared at her for a long hard moment.

“You have some strange and exotic tastes, Kid…,” she finally said and Luz flushed darker. “Explains why she hauled you out of the ocean… we got both of you in the net cause she wouldn’t let go… I figured we’d sell her at the next port city…”

“No!” Luz jumped in and Eda reared back at that. “Please, Eda, no!” Luz begged. “She’s… important to me.”

Eda looked at her for a long time, amber gaze flickering back up at the mermaid hanging in the net, fingers still wrapped around Luz’s and sighed heavily.

“Fine. If you hadn’t shoved that boot licker off the plank I’d have a new air hole and The Owl Lady doesn’t leave her debts unpaid. I’ll get Hooty and we’ll toss her back into the sea.” Eda grumbled before turning on heel and walking out of the hold.

Luz breathed a sigh of relief before turning back to Amity.

“Why did you let yourself get captured?” Luz asked with a frown.

“I couldn’t let you drown!” Amity shot back and Luz sighed.

“I’m just glad you’re okay,” she finally said, fingers tightening around Amity’s.

“You… you’re not upset about the other day?” she mumbled, looking at Luz from beneath her lashes.

“No, I’m not upset, you just surprised me… I…,” Luz pursed her lips, trying to think of the words to say. “I like you too… a lot,” she admitted. “But… I don't think it’s safe for you to just be following the ship day and night,” she said and Amity frowned but didn’t argue, Luz was right. She ran the risk of being captured like she was today.

“I don’t wanna wait at the Isles for you to come back for so long at a time,” she mumbled and Luz frowned, thinking.

There had to be something they could do.

A sudden thought struck her.

“I think I have an idea!” she grinned and Amity blinked.

When Eda came strolling back down the stairs with Hooty in tow Luz turned to her.

“Eda! I have a proposition for you!” she said, a toothy grin stretched across her face. Eda cocked a brow at the young woman; intrigued. She was a businesswoman afterall.  

“Oh yeah? I’m listening…”

~ ~ ~

Luz bounced with barely contained energy as she stood next to Eda on the deck, the crew standing before them.

“Alright, all y'all listen up. We have a new crew member joining us, so if you’ll turn your attention to the starboard side…,” she trailed off and the confused looking crew did just that, only to find the mermaid they had captured, down in the water, looking up at them nervously and giving a tentative wave.

“Wait.. what?” Viney looked over at the captain, who grinned.

“Yup, you’re looking at our newest ‘deck’ hand.” she fingers quoted. “In charge of collecting all your medicinal water plants and all manner of things from the ocean floor,” Eda said, rolling around a handful of pearls Amity had brought up as proof of her usefulness.

“Welcome aboard!” Hooty grinned and waved enthusiastically down at her.

“Do… do you think he even realizes she’s a mermaid….?” Viney leaned over and whispered to Luz, who shrugged.  

“Alright, now get back to work, we’re setting sail!” Eda called and once their surprised stupors had passed the crew jumped to attention, still murmuring amongst themselves about their newest crewmate.

Once they had dispersed, Luz threw down a rope and slid down to the water where Amity was waiting for her.

“So, ready to start life as a pirate?” she asked with a grin.

“I guess we’ll find out,” she smiled.

“You’ll be great! At night we’ll haul you up top, Hooty got a big barrel for you for now. Just till we figure something else out so you can be safe at night,” she said and Amity nodded.

“Luz, we're going!” King called down gruffly.

“I’m coming!” she called back before turning back to Amity. “I’ll see you later, okay?” she asked and Amity nodded. “Oh! One more thing,” Luz said.

“Wha-” Before she could even finish that sentence Luz darted forward and pressed a kiss to her lips. When she pulled back she was grinning, but the dark tint to her cheeks betrayed her, though she was pleased to see a similar splash of red coloring Amity’s cheeks. “Now I'll see you later.” She grinned.

“Luz!” Eda’s voice called from up top.

“Coming, I’m coming!” she called, shooting another look at Amity before climbing back up the rope.

[foryoumyheroes]

I love the Otaku todoroki and Bakugou hc's! Maybe part 2 where they meet the characters voice actor and they look EXACTLY like the character and the bois are like 😳😳😳 HAVE I BEGGED GOD ENOUGH FOR HIM TO TURN MY ANIME CRUSH REAL and maybe the voice actor asks them out on a date sksksk— lol love your writing! (you don't have to do this btw, just a suggestion! 💕)

My first thought was the webtoon True Beauty 😳😳 I don't know if you guys know it, but it’s a great story (and free to read online!) and the author is kinda infamous for looking exactly like her MC!! Though Iida’s VA, Kaito Ishikawa, 👀 👀 looks exactly like his character IMO!! 

A/N:

The headcanons in question are here, and since the character is already referred to as [Name], I’ll be referring to the voice actor as [V/A] only, but it’s still the reader 😊😊.

“Shitty Half-and-half.” 

“Bakugou,” Todoroki replied, turning fully to face his former classmate. Several years had passed since they both confronted each other over Todoroki’s [Name] acrylic charm, and even now, both Pro-Heroes deep into their careers, their love for the anime character never waned. 

The series had finished up during their last year at U.A., leaving both boys a mess while Aizawa could only wish that he was able to nurse his headache with half a bottle of ibuprofen. Todoroki mourned the fact that they were able to defeat the last arc’s antagonist at the cost of [Name]’s powers leading to their ultimate retirement and Bakugou raged from the ambiguous epilogue where [Name] was seen laying their head on the protagonist’s shoulder while looking out into the sunset.  

“Don’t play dumb with me, you damned trust fund kid,” Bakugou spat, pushing himself off the spot where he leaned against the wall and striding over to the taller male. He had filled out in the past several years, nothing but toned biceps and broad shoulders. “You’re thinking exactly what I’m thinking.” 

“What?” Todoroki asked innocently. His time with Uraraka had paid off, but the cutesy look would only let him get so far. Bakugou was eye-to-eye with his “eternal” rival. Todoroki had only gotten taller recently. Still slender and toned, he was nearly his father’s height and had already surpassed Natsuo. 

“Might Con.” Bakugou really had grown from the way he didn’t rage from Todoroki’s feigned ignorance. “You’re going to be there aren’t you?” 

Todoroki froze. 

The blond smirked at his expression. “I know for a damned fact that your manager scheduled your panel at the exact same time my panel is held —” 

“We’re hosting the panel together with Midoriya, Bakugou —” Todoroki tried to say.   

“At the exact same time as [Name]’s fucking seiyuu’s autograph session, huh?” 

At Bakugou’s words, both boys were at a standstill. 

Due to the popularity of the anime, the voice actors were going to have their schedules jam-packed the entire con with panels, interviews, and meet-and-greets, but due to scheduling conflicts, every voice actor was allowed only one autograph session at a time. Bakugou didn’t care about any of those other shitty extras. He only wanted to meet [Name]’s seiyuu. 

The voice actor was infamous for hiding their face during the anime’s run, only doing radio shows or paper interviews. They cited that since they were still a minor by the time the anime came out, they wanted to preserve their privacy, but now that they were of age, they were going to reveal their face at the con for the first time. 

But they couldn’t make it. Their entire Pro-Hero career was stabbing itself in the back. 

He held a hand out. 

“If one of us can’t see [Name]’s voice actor the other can’t.”

It was otaku solidarity.  

After a pause Todoroki reached out and shook it once. “Fine.” The two boys dropped their hands as fast as it came. 

Yeah. 

Not. 

Todoroki Shoto: 

Tries to go incognito, but he sucks at it. 

He’s wearing shades indoors to hide his heterochromia and his scar, a bucket hat to hide his half-and-half hair, and he’s wearing regular, but not so inconspicuous clothes. 

Once he gets to the front of the line, he nearly drops his gigantic load of [Name] merch. If it weren’t for the fact that he’s a Pro, he would’ve needed a wagon to carry the entire thing. 

His face immediately flushes. 

You’re wearing glasses and a large sweater while smiling and waving happily at the last fan that walked away. His mind is seeing every equation. You look exactly like the High School spin-off your mangaka made after the protagonist wished that everyone was able to live normal lives.   

He stutters out, “C-Cosplay...?” softly the moment he gets to your table. 

This dude is blushing so hard his face is as red as his hair. 

Were you a secret love child, perhaps? 

You brighten up and laugh. “Oh, wow — you have a lot of merch,” you laugh and he nearly swoons. “And oh, no! I just look like this normally.” 

He mentally thanks his mom for giving birth to him. 

You compliment him on his casual Idol!Shoto cosplay and he’s so embarrassed that he nearly lets go of the left side of his Quirk. 

“Yeah! You make such a handsome Shoto!” You use your [Name] voice to say, “I love you, Shoto-kun!” and he nearly dies right there. 

He uncharacteristically even puts his face into his hands ;; and just screams internally. 

You hold up your pen and look at him with such wide eyes and ;;; YOU’RE SO FUCKING CUTE!! 

None of the fanfictions have ever prepared him for this. 

[“So who should I put these out to?” 

He inhales once and quickly goes, “Todoroki, please. Written with the character for ‘a roaring fire.’ I have admired [Name] since their character introduction arc and felt a bond from [Name]’s tragic history and my own. I hated my father for the longest time and wanted to forage my own path similar to [Name] and they gave me strength —”] 

You fight to keep the largest grin off your face, but then the door busts open and in walks Ground Zero. The security are all scrambling to stop him, but he barrels through them like dominoes. 

[”HALF-AND-HALF!!” 

“Oh, Bakugou —” 

“I FUCKING KNEW THAT YOU WOULD BE HERE WHEN YOU DIDN’T SHOW UP TO YOUR OWN DAMNED PANEL!!” 

Bakugou takes him by the collar and his shades and hat falls and everyone’s immediately fangirl shrieking as Bakugou forcefully drags him away. 

“Wait, Bakugou — ! My dakimakura — !“ 

“Fuck that!”] 

After his panel, he’s smugly going through all of the merch you were able to autograph with Bakugou sulking in the corner because he managed to go and Bakugou didn’t and he nearly drops his figurine when he realizes what you wrote in the corner of the box. 

“You seem pretty cute, handsome stranger! ;) XXX-XXXX-XXXX” 

He discharges his Quirk and Bakugou could be heard shouting, “WHAT THE HELL, HALF-AND-HALF!” in the background. 

Bakugou Katsuki: 

He doesn’t even bother hiding the fact that he’s there. Everyone’s so stunned by the fact that the Ground Zero is just storming through the autograph session that the autograph line splits like the Red Sea and he goes right up to you. 

When he sees your face he just stops in his place and he does the face above for like five whole seconds. 

Did he die and go to heaven? 

WAS THAT NOT T H E [SURNAME] [NAME] SITTING IN FRONT OF HIM???

AND YOU LOOK SO SOFT!! Who gave you the motherfucking right to look so cute??? You look exactly like the panel in volume twenty-one, page 105 where [Name] were first seen wearing glasses. (Yes, ofc he remembers the exact page and volume. What was he, a fake fan?)

He didn’t have a thing for megane 😳😳😳 until [Name].

[“You...You fucking look exactly like [Name],” he manages to stutter out. 

You blink out of your stupor at the Ground Zero at your autograph session because your manager just elbows you at your side and you nod quickly like an idiot. 

“Y-Yeah!” You laugh nervously. “Hahaha, I guess that’s why they chose me to be the voice actor, you know because the voice matches the face — or-or is it the face matches the voice??” The two of you have matching red faces. “I-I even have a Quirk like their’s!” You hold up your hand and activate your Quirk slightly and he goes still.] 

H-His wifu/husbando... in the flesh... 

All those years of reading metas and watching analysis videos and calculating the compatibility of your Quirks are coming into fuCKING FRUITION!! 

And he just grabs your hand out of nowhere, running on pure instinct, wrapping his hand around yours in a vice grip like a claw game and the both of you freeze. 

”S-So what would you like me to sign??” you say quickly because he’s holding up the line, but everyone else is watching his go down like a soap opera. 

He asks you to sign the manga. The first volume, the volume where you’re introduced, and the last volume. 

[“They fucking did [Name] dirty in the series finale,” he says while you sign the manga for him. “They don’t belong with the pissy protagonist.” 

“Yeah?” you ask, looking up at him. You gesture for him to lean closer and he does while you whisper in his ear. “Between you and me I don’t ship them either.” You lean back in your chair. “I don’t think the mangaka developed their relationship enough for me to root for them. Personally, I think that that they should just settle down with someone who’s going to make them happy and protect them — “ 

“I can do that.” 

“What,” you blurt out. 

“What,” he replies.] 

He’s in such a daze that when Deku and Shoto barge into the autograph signing and drag him away he doesn’t even fight back. 

HE WANTED SENPAI TO NOTICE HIM BUT NOT LIKE THIS!! 

Even through his panel that he nearly missed btw he’s so confused. Equations are spinning around his head. 

When he finally has free time and looks at the manga you signed, it read, “Ground Zero, you’re my favorite Hero! Glad you liked the anime! Wanna talk about it some more? XXX-XXXX-XXXX” 

[birbleafs]

[fic] A Tragicomedy In Five Acts

Series: Saiki Kusuo no Ψ-nan || The Disastrous Life of Saiki K. Rating: T Genre: Friendship, Humour, Breaking the Fourth Wall Character(s): Akechi Touma, Saiki Kusuo, Saiki Kurumi, Saiki Kuniharu, Saiki Kuusuke Warnings: None, save for the canon-typical shenanigans Summary: Akechi has made a habit of showing up unannounced, uninvited at the Saiki residence. The inevitable "bonding" occurs and Kusuo despairs; the world continues to turn. A/N: A piece I wrote for the Disastrous Life Zine, a charity zine. I wanted to share the uncut version here since I like how it reads more (it's not too different from zine version, though). Leftover sales are currently still live, so here's your last chance to grab some limited items if you had missed the pre-orders earlier! Thanks to the mods & other contributors over at @disastrouslifezine, for all their hard work on this project. Many thanks also to my bro Digi for the awesome beta work and for always being an all-round great pal ❤ Fic can also be read AO3. _______ i. It’s a problem Saiki Kusuo should have—could have—nipped earlier in the bud, when he’d been forced to spend a whole Sunday with Akechi Touma betting on horse-racing. But between Akechi being (begrudgingly) accepted as one of the PK Psychickers to Kusuo having to stop a meteor from slamming into the planet—well, a lot had happened. Akechi had since taken to visiting the Saiki residence at random, with little notice in advance. On his second visit, Mom had invited him in before Kusuo could intervene. If it weren’t for the cupcakes Akechi had brought along—not to mention the terrifying heat of Mom’s demonic glare at the first sign of a protest—Kusuo would have teleported him miles away without hesitation. That’s how Kusuo finds himself now—glowering at Akechi who’s sitting politely in his room and firing a running commentary about nothing and too many things all at once. Resigned, he leans back into his study chair and asks, point-blank: What do you want, Akechi?

“Your mother is lovely as always,” Akechi replies instead, dancing around the question. “I’m grateful she’s gone from remembering me as ‘Pee Boy’ to ‘Kusuo’s Friend Who Only Ever Wets His Pants Occasionally’. Surely that’s a sign we have gotten closer.” It sounds just as terrible as the first—only a simpleton would be okay with that as a defining trait, Kusuo retorts. In any case, we’re hardly more than classmates. So, why are you here again? “I thought you would have realized it by now with your telepathy. But I suppose I can explain it for the sake of the readers!” Akechi beams, holding up a small case in his hand. Don’t just casually break the fourth wall, Kusuo frowns, even as he leans forward for a closer look. Akechi pops the case open and turns towards the game console. “I was recently gifted this game by my cousin, who assured me that, while underrated, it’s still a cult hit among fans. I thought it would be fun to play it together.” Kusuo stares flatly at the title OVERWORKED displayed on the disc as it slides into the console drive, already unimpressed. That is such a blatant rip-off. “Oh, no, it's a completely different game from the one you’re thinking of!” Akechi says. “Here you play as the overworked waiter of a cafe who serves multiple orders at once and takes over the cooking whenever the head chef throws a tantrum and storms right off.” How is that different from OVERC***ED? It is totally OVERC***ED! “Regardless, shall we have a play-off?” Akechi offers the controller to him. “Winner gets this box of cupcakes. I got them from the best pâtisserie in town, which is no easy feat. Why just this morning I left home at the crack of dawn to secure a spot in the queue, and even then, there were already about 30-odd people ahead of me! Who knew it was so popular—A-ah!” Kusuo yanks the controller easily from Akechi’s hand towards him with telekinesis, a glint of determination in his eyes now. Best two out of three levels. Loser also has to leave immediately. Akechi grins knowingly and cracks his knuckles, reaching for the second controller. “You’re quick to assume victory, Kusuo-kun. Very well, then!” Thirty-seven minutes later and Kusuo’s left staring at the final scores, appalled. He would have won if his character hadn’t kept freezing in place and glitching at crucial moments, messing up in the kitchens and sending out wrong orders. How is he always losing to Akechi like this? Clearly the universe is still conspiring against him. “You were so close to beefing my lask score dhoo,” Akechi says shamelessly through a mouthful of strawberry frosting. “And my, deez fupfakes are s’per dhasty!” Are you taunting me now? Kusuo scowls enviously at the cupcake in Akechi’s hand before he huffs, slinking back into his chair. Well, I’ll be staring dejectedly out my window for a bit, so feel free to eat your cupcakes and then leave. But Akechi only laughs then and, to Kusuo’s surprise, moves to place a chocolate cupcake before him. “You’re so melodramatic, Kusuo-kun. I never said the winner can’t share.” ... I guess you didn’t. They spend the rest of the afternoon eating cupcakes. _______ ii. This again? It’s been a month, but Kusuo already feels a sense of gloom settling over him when Akechi steps into the genkan. He would have been fine with leaving Akechi outside blathering away through closed doors for the entire day while he pretended not to be home, but obviously Mom is having none of that. “I’m so glad you’ve been coming over to play with Ku-chan!” she greets cheerfully. “I couldn’t believe it when I first heard, but you and Kusuo are getting along well, huh, Akechi-kun!” Dad says with a sagely nod, looking every bit the part of the morally upright, reliable father. Bold of you to believe such delusional notions of camaraderie, or that you even look the part of an admirable adult, Kusuo comments drily, before turning to leave. “We don’t just get along,” Akechi chimes in reply. “You could even say our friendship is super-califragilisticexpialidocious!” GET OUT. If looks could kill, Kusuo’s current expression is pure genocide. But his parents are already fawning and AH-HYUU-!!-ing at Akechi’s words, tears of joy gushing down their cheeks like an endless waterfall. Kusuo watches in quiet despair as Akechi is readily accepted into their fold with welcomed embraces, a key development in this romantic soap opera. Oi, what’s with the misleading narrative?! We’re not in that kind of fanfic right now! Dad and Akechi hit it off well enough, one thing leads to another, and Kusuo suddenly finds himself roped into playing MECH-O ARENA VR on the WAB station in Dad’s study. Seriously, stop it with the terrible rip-offs of actual games already, Kusuo frowns as he watches Dad’s and Akechi’s characters flitting about on the screen to fight off an incoming attack. “I suppose it’s not very original, is it?” Akechi says, punching the controller buttons in a flurry of movements. “But it’s different enough that we can probably avoid any unwanted copyright lawsuits.” That’s completely beside the point. Dad’s wholly immersed with the game now, so it’s impossible for Kusuo to get rid of Akechi without Dad throwing a childish fuss about losing his new gaming buddy. Not to mention Mom’s uncanny ability to appear with coffee and snacks each time Kusuo had tried to inconspicuously retreat back into his room, all while exuding an ominous aura that effectively dissuaded his need to leave immediately. Good grief—everyone’s being such a pain today, Kusuo sighs, before he finally relents to Mom’s cajoling to team up with her against Dad and Akechi in the final round. He figures it can’t get worse than this anyway. That is, until Kuusuke gets involved. _______ iii. When Kusuo returns home from a quick grocery trip for Mom, he walks into a surprisingly empty living room. He can hear Dad and Kuusuke’s voices from upstairs but for some reason he’s not quite able to perceive the atmosphere within—it’s as if his senses are partially blocked by a cognitive fog with the study engulfed in a dead zone. Must be that prototype “router” Kuusuke had installed in Dad’s study yesterday. Kusuo has zero interest in his brother’s tiresome antics, but is compelled nonetheless to check on them, if only to ensure Kuusuke isn’t playing Mad Scientist and coaxing Dad into yet another deranged human project. He opens the door, nearly lashes out in shock with telekinesis when he sees Akechi staring through the doorway with a creepy, owlish expression. “Oh, were you actually surprised, Kusuo-kun?” Akechi says. “My apologies for frightening you like that.” Kusuo studies the room cautiously, only to realize he’s unable to hear anyone’s thoughts with telepathy. He glares at his brother in suspicion. “Welcome back, little brother!” Kuusuke greets him with a Cheshire grin. “I see you’ve got yourself a new playmate. Hmm? Ah, you must think it strange that I've taken to Akechi-kun so readily.” Strange and highly dubious, Kusuo counters. What are you scheming? “Well, Akechi-kun shows the most potential and capacity for mental growth amongst the lesser primates close to you—” What a disparaging worldview. And stop deflecting! I know you can still understand me. “—So, he may yet make a good test subj—Ah, I mean, a good friend! Interesting specimens tend to gravitate towards you, after all. Though his propensity for peeing sure is troubling, isn’t it? Haha!” You can excuse questionable human experimentations, but you draw the line at incontinence? Kuusuke attempts a nonchalant shrug. “Priorities, amirite?” “But this is amazing, Kuusuke-san,” Akechi says, glancing up in awe at the blinking device on the ceiling. “The telepathy canceller really does block our thoughts efficiently!” “It’s child's play compared to Kusuo’s abilities,” Kuusuke says, seemingly modest, but Kusuo doesn’t miss the devious glint in his eyes when he reaches into his coat pocket to pull out what looks suspiciously like a detonator with a giant red button. “Still, with this, Operation SM☆SH can now finally commence—” Wait, Operation what?? Kuusuke, don’t you dare...! But Kuusuke is already pressing the button, and the study is plunged into darkness as the lights flicker off and the blinds draw shut. Alarmed, Kusuo wrenches the detonator away from Kuusuke’s grip with his telekinesis. What did you just do?! There’s an electronic whirr, a blinding flash, and Kusuo finds himself suddenly staring at a large LCD screen as it emerges from the ceiling. Music blares from overhead speakers as a cinematic opening sequence begins to play. “There you are, Kusuo!” Dad looks up from behind the coffee table where he’d been fiddling with the game console. He adjusts the VR headset over his eyes. “It’s time to finally beat you at SUPER SM☆SH BUDS as payback for last time! HII-YAAAH!!” ... Oh. So it’s just another game. “That’s right!” Kuusuke claps his hands together, blissfully ignoring the heat of Kusuo’s baleful glare. “I heard about your horse-racing bet from Akechi-kun and found this as the best way to even the odds for other types of games.” “The idea came to me while peeing in the shower; to find ways you could play and not get bored easily, Kusuo-kun,” Akechi adds in unnecessary detail. “But I didn’t think Kuusuke-san could actually pull it off.” “Here, Kusuo,” Dad says, waving his controller. “Come choose your character—” But Kusuo’s already teleporting away, fleeing the wretched upheaval within his own home to hide at Cafe Mami for the rest of the day. _______ iv. Akechi corners him after school three weeks later. Kusuo is surprised and unsurprised all at once; he had worn the germanium ring to class, after all, in a bid to avoid spoilers for the direct-to-streaming release movie adaptation of a book he’d been fond of. It’s easy to ignore everyone’s spoilery chatter when it isn’t droning directly into his mind—he’d kept his fingers stuck into  his ears each time class ended, oblivious to the strange looks thrown his way, and had even hidden away in the restroom cubicle during breaks, successfully avoiding any interaction with the usual human nuisances. Until now, that is. “Let’s walk home together, Kusuo-kun!” Akechi calls, jogging after him. I’m suddenly deaf and sound has eluded me, Kusuo deadpans as he breaks into a sprint, determined to leave before Akechi starts blabbing spoilers. “I noticed you weren’t quite yourself today,” Akechi continues, catching up with him.  “And I thought it might have something to do with the ring on your left index finger that you’ve fondled precisely seventeen times throughout the day.” What an awful way to describe it. I didn’t fondle anything. “Perhaps the material of that ring works in the same manner as the telepathy canceller��which would explain why you seemed uncharacteristically skittish today since you’re pretty bad at discerning people’s intentions without your telepathy.” What are you? A psychic? But Akechi only persists. “I realized later that you’d always leave whenever anyone started talking about that new movie on Netfl*x—” Can’t hear now, Kusuo slaps his hands over his ears. Gone horribly deaf. “And I figured it must be that you haven’t watched it yet for some reason, like maybe your home internet is down because your father forgot to pay the bills for three whole months and so it got cut—” How did you even..? Kusuo grimaces. N-nope, not listening! 100% deaf! “I know you don’t have a mobile phone to watch it on either,” Akechi continues. “So, that’s why I wanted to invite you to my house today, to watch it together. Oh, don’t worry, I know absolutely nothing about the movie. In fact, I’d only heard Kaidou-kun screaming out the title just ten minutes ago.” Kusuo pauses then, glancing back at Akechi in hesitance. Akechi only meets his wary gaze with a knowing smirk, and says, “We also have strawberry shortcake in the fridge.” _______ v. I don’t suppose there’s a good reason this time either, Kusuo sighs wearily, closing his book. Still, there’s a glimmer in his eyes; he knows Akechi had come bearing gifts—a selection of coffee jellies topped with cherries and chocolate drizzle. “I’ve made a habit of crashing your place unannounced, haven’t I?” Akechi offers a contrite grin, watching as Kusuo helps himself to a spoonful of jelly. “I do apologize, but whenever I get restless, I find myself wandering here by instinct. Admittedly, I was worried about being a bother, but your mother is always so welcoming at the door despite that dreary, constipated look in your eyes—” You are being a bother. Like a persistent mosquito that thinks it's summer all year round, Kusuo grouses with his Most Annoyed Expression, knowing how ineffectual his Feigning Ignorance Face had become over time. Also, have you graduated from pee references to shitty jokes now? Disgusting. But Akechi takes it all in stride, undeterred by Kusuo’s ugly grimace and acerbic jibes. “—Plus, it’d be considered extremely rude if I didn’t come in after that, and I certainly do not want you to think of me as rude. You’re a friend I hold in high regard, after all. I always have, ever since I found out it was you who saved me from the bullies back then.” The earnestness in Akechi’s words stumps him, if only a little. And though Kusuo is careful to keep his surprise from showing, there’s a part deep down in his not-so-granite heart that feels a touch of warmth at the sentiment. Akechi’s already placing the Scrabble board on the floor, so he misses the ghost of a smile that crosses Kusuo’s lips. Did Akechi honestly think he could beat a psychic at Scrabble too? How naive. “You’re probably thinking how naive I must be, believing I could beat you at a board game with your powers and all,” Akechi notes cheerfully, almost as if he’s a mind-reader himself. Kusuo frowns, slightly disgruntled by the fourth-wall breaking once more and wishes they would give it a rest for once. Overusing a trope gets really tiring, you know? Still, he smiles again as he takes a seat across from Akechi—who is now shuffling the Scrabble chips while nattering away about the history of board games and how the loser would have to give up his share of coffee jelly (as if Kusuo would allow it to come to that again). Two Sunday visits per month only, Kusuo says, lifting several chips into the air with a wave of his hand. If you beat me... I’ll allow it. Akechi’s eyes widen, before he breaks into a playful grin. “Very well, then. May the best man win.” Kusuo only lets out a soft laugh. Perhaps it’s not too late to pick up where they had left off in grade school. —End—

[vintagevalentinex]

Trigger

Hey guys!  I just wanted to say thank you so much for all of your positive feedback for this Frank Castle adventure I’ve been going on!  Here is the next part!! Enjoy :)

Special shout-out to @sis-tafics​ for her crazy extensive knowledge on guns.  She’s actually an adorable badass. <3

Title: Trigger Author: vintagevalentinexx Words: ~1200 Pairing: (Frank Castlex Reader) Warnings: violence, weapons, watch Daredevil Season 2 first!

Running.

You could hear the click of your heels slamming against the pavement as you heard your assailant behind you.  Your lungs were on fire, your chest heaving as you continued to move forward, knowing that if you stopped you would most likely be dead. The muscles in your legs started to spasm, exhausted and fatigued.  Why were you wearing such impractical shoes!?  While you were unfocused your ankle gave, making you tumble forward.  You were wrenched around, your attacker gripping you painfully by the shoulder.  He pressed the barrel of his gun right between your eyes.  You started to scream at the top of your lungs, and you could hear him laughing cruelly as the click of the trigger sounded and—

“(Y/N)!!  (Y/N)!!  Wake the hell up!!”

You roused to a shirtless Frank shaking you awake, the both of you covered in sweat from the heat of the night.  Your heart was racing as you looked around wildly, taking a deep breath when you realized you were at home and safe.  Upon calming down you were able to focus on your surroundings, seeing that you fell asleep on your couch, noticing Max running around your house in attack mode, looking for intruders.  Your face soured when you noticed your front door.

“What the hell happened to my door, Frank?”

He looked at you rubbing the back of his head.  “Well…you were screaming bloody murder and it was locked…so…I kind of kicked it in.”

“You wanna repeat that for me?”

“I kicked your damn door in, alright!  I’ll fix it, just shut up about it already, damn…”

You rubbed your eyes, pulling the blanket up around your shoulders like a cape/cloak.  Wasn’t this blanket in my bedroom? You sat up, sitting cross-legged at one end of the couch, Frank following suit and sitting next to you.

“Want to tell me what happened, kid?”

“Not really.”

He sent you a look.

“Alright, alright. I had a really bad dream…”

His stare communicated that he wasn’t pleased with your answer.

“It was about me being chased by that mugger…I kept running and running until my legs gave out…and then he shot me, right between the eyes.”  You motioned to the spot with your fingers.  “I think that’s about when you woke me up.”

Frank nodded, pursing his lips together a few times, as if in thought.  He slapped his hands down on the tops of his thighs, as if deciding what he was going to do.

“You’re scared of getting hurt, right?…Well we’re going to fix that.  Not tonight, but very soon…er, after I get this door fixed for ya so you can go back to sleep.  You got any coffee?”

You shook your head. “Umm…I don’t really drink it, but I have instant coffee packets in the cabinet if you’re interested.”

He looked at you incredulously, stopping in his tracks.  “You have really shit taste, you know that, kid?”

He ducked out of your apartment, to get what you hoped were tools.  You chuckled to yourself, rolling your eyes.  “Don’t I know it.”

You patted the spot next to you on the couch, Max hopping right up and snuggling into the blanket with you.

You didn’t know it, but Frank caught you and Max curled up on the couch and he smiled, quietly going to work on your door, and making sure you didn’t have any more bad dreams that night.

“Where the hell are you taking me?”

Frank rolled his eyes at you as he pulled you along, trying to look as inconspicuous as possible, but your ranting and raving was certainly not helping.

“Can you just keep your mouth shut for like five more minutes, kid?!”

You shot him a nasty look as he pulled you into an abandoned warehouse by the docks.

“You know, Frank.  If I didn’t know you that well, I would think you brought me here to kill me…”

He didn’t even make an attempt to answer you as he peeled off his jacked, motioning for you to do the same.  As you looked around the warehouse, you noticed that there were makeshift targets set up.

“What’s going on…?”

“Well…” From seemingly out of nowhere he pulled out a gun.  Like seriously, does this man have pockets sewn into all of his clothes?!  You know what…I don’t want to know.

“I know you’ve been having nightmares about when that guy tried to mug you, so I thought that you might want to learn how to shoot a gun…ya know…self-defense and all that bullshit.”

You shot him a withering look.  “I’ve never even held a gun before, Frank.  They scare the shit out of me.”

“Good.  They should scare you.  Gun’s aren’t toys.  Now c’mere…” He motioned to you, having you stand next to him as he explained all the different parts of the gun to you.  After what seemed like forever, he had you stand in front of him, your back to his front.  You could feel how close he was; smell the soap he must have used to wash with. You felt yourself growing hot at his proximity.  What the hell (Y/N).  Pull yourself together.  He’s only trying to help you feel safer.  There is nothing going on between the both of you.  You’re about to shoot a damn gun, pay attention!

Frank placed the gun in your hands, showing you how to grip it correctly.  He looked over your shoulder, helping you take aim at the target down at the other side of the warehouse.  You felt his hands wandering lower, nearly flinching when they rested on your hips, adjusting your stance.  You swallowed hard, feeling as if all of your nerves were alive and active, his breath at the bare skin of your neck almost too much to handle.

“When you are in a situation where you have to defend yourself, you can’t hesitate.  You either take the shot or get shot, kid.  Aim and fire.  Let’s see how you do.”

You steadied your breathing as you checked your aim one last time before pulling the trigger.  You gasped as you felt the kickback, pulling upward, and missing the target by a mile.  Frank chuckled behind you, close to your ear.

“That’s normal.  Try it again.”

You spent the night learning how to shoot, in an abandoned warehouse by the docks with Frank. It was getting light out when you were finally getting the hang of it, nicking the target a couple of times.

You stood around nervously, shifting your weight back and forth on each foot while Frank cleaned up the warehouse and put the gun away.  You nearly jumped a little as he approached you.  “You did a pretty good job, kid.”

“Yeah, thanks.  Let’s hope that if I get attacked it isn’t from one hundred feet away.”

He laughed, slinging an arm over your shoulder chuckling even more when he felt your body tense up a little at his touch.  With his free hand he rubbed the back of his head.

“So…so uh…since it’s basically breakfast time, you wanna go get a cup of coffee…?”

For the first time since you’ve known Frank, his voice sounded nervous.  Only slightly.  Barely traceable.  You looked up at him, a small smile on your lips.

“I’d like that.”

You didn’t even like coffee.

Next Part

[lovelyirony]

au prompt: Maria Hill/Sam Wilson + child of the president/secret service bodyguard au

Sam was a grown man, and he really didn’t appreciate the fact that his father was making him have a bodyguard follow him around. 

“You know how dangerous my job can be,” his father said over the phone. “They’re sending someone over. She’s inconspicuous.” 

“Please tell me you didn’t tell her to stay at my home,” Sam begs. “Please.” 

“You have the guest room for a reason!” Mama says in the background. “And it’s not just for your extra junk that accumulates!” 

Sam wants to say it’s exactly for that, and they did not tell him that his now-unnamed bodyguard would be coming over. 

“She’s nice,” Dad says. “Real hard worker, intense. She could probably kill Putin if she really wanted to.” 

“That’s so reassuring,” Sam mutters. “If I die, let’s hope Putin doesn’t come with me.” 

Maria doesn’t know what to think. She thought maybe Sam would be a college kid or something like that. Not someone her own age.

When she had been in the Oval Office, (the Oval damn Office, by the way) the president had had her sit down in the new chairs. 

“I’m a danger to this place,” he says. He doesn’t make any fuss about it. It just is how it is. “And I know that there are a lot of people who don’t like me and who won’t like my family. Now, I need my son to be safe. I don’t care how it happens, I don’t care what you do, so long as I never have to hear about someone coming after my son.” 

So she packs her bags (and at least two knickknacks) and heads for the address. 

It’s a nice house, all things considered. 

And then...Sam Wilson. The president’s son. And one hell of a fine-looking man. 

“I’m Agent Maria Hill,” she says, shaking his hand. “I’ll be protecting you, but more importantly shopping for my own groceries.” 

Sam laughs at that. She was worried, sometimes that joke sticks and sometimes it doesn’t. (Natasha it’s something about “timing” but Maria will continue to make that joke at any point in time.) 

“So...how’d you to get to be where you are?” Sam asks. “What made you decide to protect the president?” 

"I like a challenge,” Maria answers. “And what’s the hardest challenge than protecting the leader of a country?” 

They get to talking, and Sam talks about his work in the VA, different people he runs into, and the conversation shifts from there. 

So, not a bad start. But she’s still living in his home, has a jawline that is so sharp he feels dizzy, and looks to kill. 

Basically, he can’t really tell Bucky or Steve that he has the most-his-type-in-a-long-time person in his house, living with him. Because that would be weird. 

The first few months are awkward. Sometimes they have to explain that they’re roommates with the “oh...roommates” clear as day in the tone of voice. Sam tells Steve and Bucky, both in the security business under Stark Industries. That was her second job choice. 

And then, they start getting comfier. Maria gets her Netflix set up, and Sam catches the tail end of just one of those British dramas that isn’t up to much, just tea and a bit of murder. 

They make fun of teen soap operas together, and then they start wearing more casual clothes. Maria isn’t afraid to flaunt her “Disco World 1972″ shirt she got from a garage sale that she finds hilarious. 

An added bonus may or may not be when Sam doesn’t know that she’s awake and he gets back from his run with Steve, and well...

She’s professional. She can’t add too many details to what she tells Sharon when they have their Girls’ Night on Saturday. 

It’s unprofessional, everything about this. 

But what they do outside the White House doesn’t exactly have to be public knowledge. 

“So what you’re telling me,” Sam says one night. “Is that you absolutely cannot tell me if Area 51 doesn’t exist?” 

“Not officially,” Maria says. “Also not unofficially.” 

“Spying,” Sam says. 

“No, I’d just get fired,” Maria says. “But maybe that.” 

Sam doesn’t say anything in any certain terms, but it is transparent that he and Maria have something more. 

So when she gets called into his father’s office, she’s expecting the worse. 

“You’re remarkable at your job,” President Wilson says. “So much so that my son has taken a liking to you. While I can’t have you on the job officially, there will be another agent assigned at a distance.” 

She grins. 

“Yes Sir. Thank you.” 

They both hate telling people how they met officially, although word soon gets out after the two terms that President Wilson serves are up and more about the life they led becomes public knowledge. 

But hey. 

Instead of being Uncle Sam, why not be president? 

[hollygopossumlovesj2]

Come Back Down, Part 18

(Picture found from Google search. I take no credit for this pic.)

Word Count: 4,218

Warnings: Cussing and illness; I’m gonna call this a solid~Teen and up audience. The next chapter will move more quickly than this one but there are clues in this one for the next one. So... yeah.

Summary: Jensen and Y/N travel to Texas to spend the holiday with the Ackles. The parent’s are blissfully unaware of the trouble following Y/N.

A/N: Hey guys, I’m not dead like you probably thought I was. I’m just another anxious opossum that likes to write when I can. I’m not sure any of you would still like to read this but I kind of have to finish it for myself. Anyhow, I hope there’s still someone out there that wants to read this crap.

Come Back Down Master List

Hollygopossum’s Master List

Come Back Down Part 18

 After I had driven down from Vancouver to pick up Y/N, it had been a fairly quiet trip. I had borrowed Jared’s transport plane to avoid possible large crowds of people rushing home for the holidays for the rest of the trip. It was honestly the best for both of us. What, with her habit of telling people exactly what she thought and avoiding being flooded for pictures and signatures, it was a good plan. Not that I minded that she didn’t hesitate to speak her mind or the fans attention most of the time, it’s just that I was in a hurry to get home.

 The trip was perfect, except for the bit of indigestion the coffee I’d consumed earlier had created. I’d just taken to cramming down chalky tums every five minutes. If I alternated that with some Ativan and the occasional Pepto, who could blame me around the holidays?

 I couldn’t believe that it was nearly Thanksgiving already. It had actually aligned with the time frame of our visit if I added a few days onto the end of our trip. It had been a no brainer to stay and it sent Mom over the moon.

 The rental car had been ready as promised when we landed at the airport, a little inconspicuous black Lexus because I didn’t like to attract attention. I just wanted to get to my parent’s house and have a traditional, laidback holiday with them. Plus, I was excited about spending it with Y/N for the first time since we… well, you know.

 Yes, everything had been going fine up until that point, until I crouched down to slide into the low seat of the rental car. (By low, I mean how do people not get road rash on their ass driving these pretentious fucking roller skates?!) There was a blinding, sharp pain that caught me completely off guard and made me drop harder into the seat than I’d intended.

 The impact pushed an involuntary grunt out of my lungs as I dropped heavily into the seat. Undoubtedly, I had earned her full focus and concern that I’d been trying to avoid. However, I didn’t get to see her face because I was doubled over so hard that my forehead was on the steering wheel. I felt the weight of her hand sliding smooth circles intended to comfort even though she could have no idea what was wrong.

 “Jensen? Can I do something for you? Do I need to-.” I must’ve looked like a wreck as I felt the flop sweat beading up at my temples and the top of my lips. In an effort to keep her from panicking, I wiped the inner part of the sleeve covering my forearm as inconspicuously as possible. Despite my covert efforts, she sounded like she was on her way to being well and truly panicked. And that was just unacceptable.

 “M’okay. Jus’ a stomach cramp. I think I pulled a muscle in the last stunt I did.” It was a lie, but I knew she was already stressed about leaving her home and her animals. I had asked a few of the local PD to keep an eye on the place, and Mike was solidly keeping things under control. However, if you had a stalker, there’s no way you wouldn’t be stressed out, too.

 Besides, selfishly, I couldn’t afford any setbacks and I wouldn’t let something as trivial as a stomach ache get in the way of my plans.

 Unfortunately, the truth was, I’ve been feeling a little nauseated on and off for the better part of the week. I just didn’t take it seriously because my anxiety kicked up bouts of nausea all the time. Now, this pain was new and I grit my teeth together as it resonated for a couple of minutes before backing off to a dull ache.

 There was such a big contrast between having the sharp pain cramping my stomach and the red, hot poker stabbing into my side that seemed to change with every passing moment.

 I sat up slowly, taking even breaths and making a conscious effort to unlock my jaw before I put the car into reverse to back out without even turning to look at her. “Sorry. I’m fine. Must’ve just twisted funny.”

 I could feel her eyes watching me carefully, taking in all of the situation before she responded with an entirely unconvinced, “Okay.”

 ^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^

 “Well, honey, would you look at this? Our son is home for the first time this year!” Despite the sarcastic jab, Mom beamed at us when we walked through the door before I found myself in her rib crushing embrace. By now the pain had mostly eased off to only when I moved a certain way.

 The house smelled of cinnamon candles just like I knew it would, a sharp feeling of nostalgia making my eyes wet. My mom loved Christmas and kept some decorations up year round. Candles that were red and green in color could be found scattered artfully around the house, and mostly on the mantle in the living room. It wasn’t anything tacky like multicolored string lights and candy canes, but the nativity stayed on display right next to the fire place.

 I’d often wondered if it was entirely appropriate to put Mary and Baby Jesus next to an open fire. Or it could be that I’d spent way too much time on the show. Maybe I was the only one in the family that continually associated fire with hell and demons.

 “And you, don’t you hang back behind him like some blushing maid. We all know better, sweetie.” Y/N’s mock offense was funny before she too was wrapped in mom’s embrace.

 Even though I know Y/N had never asked her to, Mom had always taken it upon herself to watch out for her after her parents had died. Y/N’s mom had been her best friend so the sentiment wasn’t unfounded. She always got an invitation for every family gathering, even third cousin christenings. Most Christmas mornings, I would find her down on the couch in her pajamas practically wrapped around a fresh cup of coffee. She was always here, except for the years with that assbag boyfriend that had kept her away from us.

 “And he made you carry your own bags? Jensen Ross Ackles, I know I taught you better!” She grabbed the bags that Y/N had insisted on hobbling inside herself and gave me a stern look with her hands on her hips. I immediately felt like I was 5 years old again. “I swear.”

 “But, momma, she…” I felt obligated to voice the truth, but she wasn’t hearing any of it and I got distracted by Y/N’s gleeful laugh at my misfortunes.

 “Best you just do as your told son.” My father patted my shoulder before brushing past to hug Y/N and I wondered who the favorite child really was. I couldn’t help being a little pouty, even though I’d never ever voice it. I hadn’t seen them in months and yet here they were showering her with attention.

 “Oh, baby, you pull that bottom lip back in.” Mom grabbed my lip and tugged like she’d done a million times when I was growing up. “No one likes a pouter. Why don’t you take your things and get settled in. Dinner’ll be ready in about an hour. Your daddy is making bbq ribs.”

 I trudged up the stairs with all four bags while Y/N hobbled up the steps one at a time. She was still having trouble with that leg and recently she’d stopped wearing her brace at all. I often wondered if something else was going on but hadn’t the balls to ask just yet.

 I dropped the bags on my bed and surveyed the room. My old double sized bed sat in the middle of what could only be described as a shrine. All of my sports trophies were scattered on shelves with certificates of achievement and a few mementos from my younger years. There were some framed pictures sprinkled in that I recognized too.

 “Hey,” she leaned into my side, taking in the room right along with me for the first time since my parents had moved. “Sorry I got you in trouble.”

 I looked down to see her sheepish expression, flush still present on her cheeks and felt all the tension leave in one breath. I wrapped my arm over her shoulders to pull her closer and kissed the top of her head. “Don’t worry about it. They just haven’t seen you in a while.”

 “Yeah, I guess.”

 “I don’t think I can sleep in here.”

 “What, that awkward 90s poster getting to you? Because, I gotta be honest, I probably won’t be able to either because I won’t be able to stop mentally making fun of you.”

 “Hey, it was my first poster! I was excited!”

 “Those frosted tips, wow. You looked like a Zack from Saved by the Bell wanna be.”

 “Hey,” I pointed a finger at her, “You can’t talk shit about Zack, he was the epitome of cool back then.”

 “Uh huh. Whatever you say, darlin.” I looked down and could see the teasing smile on her face and relaxed again.

 “You’re terrible.”

 She turned in my arms and stood on the tips of her toes to kiss my lips. “Yes and you love me.” As she rested back onto her heels she winced. I couldn’t resist pulling her closer to me by her hips.

 “You gonna tell me what’s going on with you?”

 “Nothing’s going on with me. I’m fine.” She smiled again and I knew it was a lie because her eyes were trained on my old Dallas Cowboys bedspread. “Hey, do you think your parents would mind if I showered the plane germs off?”

 “Yes, they have a strict non-cleanliness policy. You can only shower once a week.” I deadpanned and loved her answering eye brow lift. “Of course they won’t mind. Go ahead. Knowing mom, she’s already got fresh towels and those little guest soaps on the counter.”

 “Awesome.” She reluctantly let go of me and grabbed a bag before disappearing down the hall. I waited for the telltale click of the bathroom door before I sat down on my bed with a heavy sigh.

 She hadn’t even given me the first hard time after the disagreement in her barn. She hadn’t even wasted any time before she asked Mike to stay and look after things. For that, I was grateful, because it made the arrangements that I had to make easier when I didn’t feel like I was dragging her along for the ride.

 I was extremely happy to have her here, surrounded by people I trusted implicitly. She was always happy to see my parents. I knew nothing bad would happen to her while we were here.

 ^*^*^*^*^*^*^

 Before I knew it, we had finished dinner, of which I had eaten carefully because my stomach still hadn’t calmed down since the incident when I got into the rental. If I sat mostly still, the nausea and dull ache were tolerable.

 “It’s good to have Y/N back here.” My father commented quietly from his seat at the old oak heirloom dining room table. We were having a cup of coffee while Mom and Y/N washed dishes and put away left overs. The next time when my Mom cooked, it would be Dad’s responsibility, but tonight Dad had grilled out for everyone. I’d always admired my parents balanced relationship. It wasn’t always that way in Texas.

 “Yeah, it really is.” I had to admit that I was enjoying having her back here with me. I’d always enjoyed the way my family and Y/N had interacted in the past, and this visit was no different. Mom and Dad knew things were different between us, but had yet to comment or treat her differently.

 For instance, at the dinner table, my Mom had taken to filling up Y/N’s plate with food rather than letting her dish out her own because she knew that Y/N wouldn’t eat much if she didn’t. It was a throw back to when her parents had died and my parents had done everything they could think of to help.

 The cleanup was always a point of contention between my mother and Y/N. Mom would insist she have a seat and that she would handle it. It was usually said in an intimidating enough tone that even I would’ve backed down immediately. But not Y/N.

 There was a scandalized, “Donna!” heard from Y/N over the hum of the dishwasher and the sink running, followed by loud giggles.

 “Well, that sounds suspicious.” My father remarked, throwing an analyzing gaze in their direction.

 I held in a laugh as my stomach felt too tight, but smiled. “Yes it does.”

 “Maybe we should check on how things are going…” I knew he wasn’t concerned; it was more like he didn’t want to miss out on the fun. I stood up as normally as I could manage, but it seemed that my father’s parental scrutiny picked up that there was a problem immediately. “You okay, son?”

 “Yeah. I’m just cramped and sore from traveling in that little toy Jared calls a plane.” I put my acting skills to use and smiled like everything was fine. He too scrutinized me with the same care that Y/N had done in the car.

 He’d eventually nodded, “Okay, well let’s go and stop whatever fool thing they’ll want to get us involved in. Remember the time your Mom and Y/N wrangled us into wine tasting a few Thanksgivings ago?”

 “How could I forget? Mom and Y/N got borderline smashed and disappeared.”

 “Yeah, they were feeding the palate cleansing crackers to the ducks at the pond.” He was shaking his head fondly, “And it wasn’t borderline anything, they were smashed. They kept getting samples of the Rosé from different staff.”

 I gave him an exaggerated look of worry, “We better get in there. I’m not carrying either one of their butts back to the car this year.”

 ^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^

 That night, with Y/N sleeping peacefully snuggled up on my shoulder, a stabbing pain jerked me from a deep sleep. This time, it didn’t let up and I felt lightening sharp pain spark in my stomach and saliva flooded my mouth as I tried to orientate myself.

 Oh, parents house.

 I was going to throw up.

 I tried to be as quiet and careful as possible as I slid out of the bed and made an unsteady beeline for the hall bathroom. It was down to the second when I slammed down on my knees and involuntarily lost my dad’s ribs in his incredible, family heirloom, special BBQ sauce. I was just thankful that I hadn’t bit it in the hall way and puked all over myself like a 5-year-old.

 I heaved until nothing was left, and then dry heaved some more. By the time I was done, I was light headed and covered in sweat with a fine shakiness set up in my bones. My stomach felt like it was flipped inside out and my throat was raw. I rested my aching head on the cold toilet lid after I flushed, trying to catch my breath and for the room to stop spinning. I waited for the pain in my gut to stop pounding like a damn beacon.

 God, the cold toilet seat felt good. I seriously considered just camping out. I mean, if the toilet was nice and cold, it stood to reason that the floor that was beckoning me would also be. It was so incredibly tempting because I had just barfed up my entire stomach contents and I felt exhausted. But, that would signal that something was wrong and there was no need to panic over a stomach bug or food poisoning.

 It was possible the grilled chicken sandwich I’d snuck from set had gone bad. (To be fair, we didn’t really have to sneak anything from set. The crew loved us to the point of getting away with murder.) It only took a few hours for food poisoning to kick in. I’d have to call Jared to check on him since he’d eaten the same kind of sandwich. What else could it be?

 I took a moment to brush my teeth and collect myself before I crept back into the room. I then swapped out my boxers and left my t shirt off. By then, the sweat was cooling on my skin that caused goosebumps to pop up. The slight shiver I’d developed didn’t make my stomach feel any better, but even then it was better than being overly hot like before.

 She was undisturbed and peaceful, and I was loathing to disrupt her. She had enough on her plate that didn’t involve me being sick. So, I laid there counting her eye lashes until I finally fell asleep.

 ^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^

 The next morning, I woke up before Y/N and took a quick shower, hoping to look better than I felt. The nausea was still there, but I hadn’t thrown up since last night. No, what was really concerning was the pale faced guy with rosy cheeks that had stared back from the mirror. That, and the pain in my abdomen that had kicked it up a notch.

 “Hey.” She greeted me with a smile when I entered the bedroom to hand her a cup of coffee, defiled just the way she liked it.

 “Hey, sweetheart, did you sleep okay?” I held my most disarming smile long enough for her to take the coffee so that I could curl up next to her and rest my forehead against her neck.

 “Yeah, I did. Did you?”

 Nothing sounded like she was suspicious and there was no reason to make her worry. “I did.”

 It was quiet for a moment while she sipped at her coffee and hummed in approval. I tucked in closer, throwing my leg over hers and wrapping an arm carefully around her waist. It felt fucking fantastic snuggled up next to her. For the first time I questioned coming home. If we’d stayed in Wyoming it would’ve been easy to convince her to stay in bed for most of the day. Without a confirmed illness my parents would drag us out to be social.

 She had downed at least half of the warm, aromatic brew before she hummed a bit more emphatically. “Mmmm, your parents make the best coffee. Do you think I can weasel the brand out of them?”

 “Dad grows and roasts his own coffee beans, but I bet you could talk him out of a bag. Maybe one could make its way into your stocking. You’ll have to talk to Santa about that one.” The pain and tightness was fading a little and I found I could finally take a deep breath as she laughed.

 “So, what’s on the agenda today, love?” She slid her arm over my shoulder to rub my back in slow, calming movements. “You’re awfully warm… are you okay?”

 “Love, huh? I like it.” I let the warmth the pet name brought me settle in my chest before I attempted to move like a bomb would go off in my belly if I didn’t go a certain way. I shifted to sit on the edge of the bed, struggling and hoping she couldn’t tell. “I’m fine, just did a few errands for Mom. You know how she can be.”

 “Yeah, I guess.”

 She was definitely suspicious, but I wasn’t gonna give her a chance to examine her theories in any sort of detail. “I’m gonna head downstairs to see if they need anything else. I’ll see you when you get that cute ass out of bed.”

 I was up and out of there before she could say a word, but I nearly ruined the perfect getaway by losing my balance. Luckily the wall had been there to catch my clumsy ass and I just bruised my elbow. Who does that, I mean, really?

 When I found my mother, she was wiping down the counters. She was obsessed with keeping the kitchen spotless. I’d been able to distract her long enough to ask if there was anything I could do to help.

 So, that’s how I ended up pulling ten boxes of Christmas crap out of the attic and a couple more from the garage. It was ridiculous how much my mother loved Christmas. It is an all year type of celebration. She leaves as much out as Mackenzie would allow before becoming personally offended. I believe her favorite phrase when she was 16, was to the effect of us being a bunch of rednecks. To which Mom replied, “Maybe I am a redneck and proud of it! Now get your behind over here and help your brother string the popcorn and cranberries.” Oh, man had she been grumpy and unpleasant to work with.

  My childhood was always filled with fantastic, traditional Christmases, and they really hadn’t stopped when I became an adult. She always had a way of making everything about Christmas magical right down to the personalized stockings on the mantle, to notes in said stockings that told us her hopes for our lives and how proud she was of us.

 Once I was done hauling some of the boxes in, I had worked myself back into sweating profusely and the abdomen below my belly button was starting to feel like a hot poker was stabbing me over and over in rhythmic pulses.

 Then, it was my mother’s turn to fawn and question my health. ‘Are you feeling okay?’

 “M’fine.” I grumbled as I grabbed a lemon-lime Gatorade from the fridge before I attempted to stand up straight like the proud Texan I am. All it did was make her give me that look. The look that said I better spill or she’ll have my precious nuts in a vice.

 “I’ve known you best your whole life, son. Since you were in the womb of my belly,” I had to cringe here because, gross. “I know when something’s wrong Jensen Ross. You had better fess up or I’ll…”

 Apparently not feeling well made me a tad bit suicidal, “You’ll what, show her my old, embarrassing pictures? Nice try, but she’s seen them all!” I couldn’t help smiling in triumph.

 “That may be true, but I am still your mother and I have my ways.” Her hands were reaching out to touch my forehead and if she made contact the charade would be over instantly.

 I backed a step away, “Everything is fine, momma.”

 We were in the stare down of my life and she was pulling out the tearful eyes and deeply concerned face only reserved for manipulation.

 Surprisingly, she was the one to cave first, “what are you doing with Y/N? You were just filing for divorce a month ago. Don’t you think this might be moving fast?”

 This. This I could answer with all the honesty I had left. “Momma, we’ve been moving towards this since her parents died that Summer. I think I… Mom, she’s my favorite person. She always knows what to do when I fall apart. She’s been filling in the holes to my marriage for years.”

 “Are you telling me you-?!” I could tell she had taken that whole statement the wrong way, but it was better to keep her distracted from the obvious. I wanted for Y/N, Mom and Dad to have the best holiday. A visit to the ER for a stomach virus? That was just stupid and I didn’t want to be viewed as a pathogenic mess on the holidays.

 “No, I’m talking the best friend part that Danneel was supposed to be. The part that puts me first and that I put her first. The part that doesn’t run away when I get a bad cold or have a metaphorical bump in the road. She’s the one I should’ve seen before. And, before you go jumping on that, I thought I loved her, Mom. I, fuck… I didn’t plan on getting a divorce and you know the last person I would’ve wanted to disappoint would be you. We never cheated, Mom.” Ugh, the fever I didn’t realize I had was making my eyes water like a pushed button.

 “Oh, honey, I didn’t mean to make you upset.” The thought of my mother actually believing that I might’ve cheated was seared in my brain and left me caught off guard. So, when she leaned in for a hug, I didn’t resist and the impact of a firm hug from my mother cued up the best acting I’d done. Ever.

 I held in the grunt of pain created by just the small bit of pressure applied to my abdomen. With my face tucked against her neck, she couldn’t see me go red in the face.

 “You are a little warm, baby. Keep an eye on that, okay?” She patted my back in what would normally be a comfort but sent shock waves through my entire body. Like my nerves were too sensitive and on freakin fire.

 “I will, Mom.”

Tagging Forever’s: (I know I haven’t written in a while. So, if you would like for me to take you off the list just let me know.) @perpetualabsurdity, @maileann, @daydreamingintheimpala, @gecko9596, @gemini75eeyore, @jotink78, @dancingalone21, @winchesterprincessbride, @sandlee44, @exploratiionist, @arryn-nyx, @littledarlinhavefaithinme, @tiffanycaruso, @boredoutofmymindstuff, @feelmyroarrrr, @raeganr99, @ruprecht0420, @anokhi07, @letsgetyourdeanon, @sis-tafics, @jensen-gal, @theoneandonlysaucymo, @27bmm, @callmesatansprincess, @hbenth, @atc74, @ryansgirl5509, @mysteriouslyme82, @notnaturalanahi, @keepcalmandcarryondean, @sea040561, @just-another-busy-fangirl, @spn67-sister, @uniquewerewolfsuit, @ria132love, @mrswhozeewhatsis, @pretty-fortune, @butiaintgonnaloveem, @justanotherdeangirl, @weasleywinchester, @easelweasel, @akshi8278, @tas898, @mandymoiselle1970, @pansexualmeteorite, @wheresthekillswitch

Tagging CBD Only: @melissaj616, @katrena7, @deansdirtyduchess, @anticipate1003, @jellersquad, @jalove-wecallhimdean, @shamelesslydean

[thran-duils]

She’s a Vamp

TITLE:  She’s a Vamp (Femme Fatale, Part 2) PAIRING: Reader/AU Mobster!Castiel SUMMARY:  In 1920s Seattle, Castiel runs an underground alcohol trade, soon too open his own speakeasy, and dabbles in loan sharking. He has eyes set on the reader, who enjoys a good chase and having a man wrapped around her finger. Castiel was getting himself tied in tightly and despite her best efforts, the reader was doing the same. WORDS: 2,006

Also, I tagged everyone from the King!Cas fic. I separated ones from that who were on the “Castiel” tags before or requested to be on there. Please let me know if you want to be added to the permanent Castiel tags or not!

Part 1 || Part 3 || Masterpost  || Fanfic masterpost

The party had come to a close and Castiel retired to his parlor with a couple close friends. Castiel had kept himself in check most of the night, only reaching a buzz and riding the waves of that rather than diving deeper into full drunkenness. Now, he let go, pouring himself a healthy glass of brandy and settled down into a chair, taking a large swig.

“I see you were speaking to Y/N again,” Sam commented, swirling his brandy.

There was a noticeable change in Castiel’s demeanor. A fleeting smile on his face before he straightened and answered, “I was.”

“I heard she snubbed you about living here,” Sam said, bringing the glass to his lips and taking a drink.

Sighing, Castiel responded, “She is comfortable where she is. It is understandable.”

Sam cocked an eyebrow and said, “I was more so commenting on your insinuation that you wanted her to live here with you.” Castiel looked confused by his statement and Sam elaborated, “You’ve only just met her.”

“I met her in August. It’s the end of November.”

“And she’s ignored you the most of that time.”

Castiel retorted, “She’s accepted every invitation I have given her.”

Sam tried another angle, “How much do you know about her?”

“Quite a lot.”

“He’s invested a lot of time into that,” Dean stated sitting down in the chair closest to the fire. Castiel narrowed his eyes at him. “I admire your persistence. I don’t think she’s ignoring you. She’s responding as she’s been conditioned to. Slowly and flirtatiously.”

“It’s agonizing to watch, my friend,” Sam said, taking another drink.

Castiel responded smartly, “Then don’t watch.”

Dean snorted at this and Sam even gave a little smile of amusement at it. Dean chimed in, “Sam’s just watching out for you. You are jumping in quite quickly, which granted, I’ve been guilty of too. But…”

“But what?”

“She’s a vamp,” Dean said to Castiel, holding his cigar out towards Sam.

Castiel shot him a look as Sam corrected taking the cigar from Dean, “The epitome of femme fatale.” He took a deep inhale of the cigar, letting it out slowly.

Shifting in his seat, Castiel moved his eyes between the pair of them, looking irritated. “She’s flirtatious, yes. She’s also adventurous and has plans for herself. She’s part of the new generation of women, she’s got dreams. I will allow her to figure out how she wants to pursue those in a reasonable amount of time. But, mark my words, she will be my wife.” He took a long drink of his brandy, keeping eye contact with them, gauging their reaction.

“That’s confident,” Dean snorted.

Sam said, “You’re carrying a torch, Cas.”

Dean shot back, “I wouldn’t even say that. I would say he’s head over heels!” Sam nodded in agreement.

Castiel’s feathers were ruffled, it was obvious by his set jaw. Dean, again, jumped in to save ship, “Well, at least one thing is for sure. She isn’t only into you for your dough. Otherwise, she would have already moved in and spent half your fortune.”

“Exactly. So, lay off,” Castiel told them. “Now, are we going to play cards or what? I’ve tired of this conversation.”

<> <> <>

“You’ve been on multiple dates with him, what are you waiting for?” Margaret questioned you quietly as the two of you searched through clothing racks.

Shooting her a look, you taunted, “You shouldn’t be encouraging me to be sinful, Marg. What would your parents think?” You picked up a blouse, hanging it delicately over your shoulder to not wrinkle the material.

“Oh, come off it!” Margaret chuckled, following you to another rack. “I mean, is everything going alright? Do you even like him?”

“Of course I like him.”

“Then why not allow him in more? And you know what I mean.”

You looked around the room to see if anyone was close and when you saw the coast was clear, you leaned in, “I’m planning to, if you really need to know.”

“When?” She asked exasperated.

“The weekend. He is taking me to the San Juans.”

Margaret’s mouth fell open and hissed, “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“Why didn’t you tell me you were seeing Parker?”

Immediately she blushed giving you a little shove in the arm. “That’s a secret!”

“A secret you didn’t even tell your best friend!”

“I’ve told no one! How did you even –”

“Please, the way he looks at you and you back at him. It’s a soap opera, really. One could figure it out if they only took a few moments to analyze the situation.”

Margaret cleared her throat and tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear, openly embarrassed you had figured it out. Smirking, you tapped her cheek, “I think it’s a fine match. You’re doing alright for yourself.”

The smile on her face was shy, “Are you sure?” You nodded and her face broke out into a wide smile. “Come. Now that you’ve wiggled your way into it, I’ll tell you about it over coffee.”

“Can you spot me a few clams for coffee?”

“I wouldn’t have to spot you if you would just stop dragging Castiel around,” Margaret replied haughtily and you rolled your eyes, smiling at the fact that you had walked right into that one. She pulled out her wallet just the same for you though as the two of you walked up towards the register. “My only condition is that you give me all the details when you have some tea to spill.”

You crossed your heart, “I promise.”

<> <> <>

“I’ve got to see a man about a dog,” Castiel told you before he pushed himself out of the booth. You smirked at him amused and he tossed you a sheepish grin, “I guess I don’t have to be inconspicuous about it here.”

You pointed out, “You wouldn’t be inconspicuous if you said that outside of here either. All the coppers know what that means by now.”

“True.”

When he walked away, you picked up your drink and sipped the rest of it remaining in the glass. He had invited you to his speakeasy, just as he had promised, as soon as it opened. The whiskey was top notch and the atmosphere was lively. Sometimes you thought he was spoiling you too much for what you gave out – which had been next to nothing other than your company and attention – and yet he always seemed thirsty for more. The two of you were leaving for the islands in the morning and despite the early morning, you were excited to drink tonight with him.

Suddenly, you noticed a man sitting across the way, trying to make eye contact with you through the crowd. He was not being subtle about it either and you smirked inwardly, the sudden need to play games bubbling up in you. The way he was looking at you wasn’t simply as if he was interested, it was lewd. As flattered as you were, you knew other women wouldn’t like the intense stare so you decided to teach him a lesson while simultaneously rousing Castiel’s need.

Pushing yourself out of the booth, you cut your gaze from him over to the wall where there was a collection of records to choose from. You hopped up on the built-in bench on the wall and pulled a few in front of you, examining them. As you expected, you felt the air move in front of you and knew that the man had joined you. You suspected he had not seen you with Castiel, otherwise he would not try to approach you.

“Looks like your drink is empty.”

Looking up at him, you responded flirtatiously, “I have quite a habit of emptying them.”

The man looked amused by this and asked, “What could I get you, doll?”

“You sure you want to go down that path, honey?”

“You got something you need to warn me about?”

“A lot of jealous exes.”

Chuckling, the guy leaned in, his eyes drinking you in, “I’m sure. But, I think I can handle a couple jealous exes, sweetheart. I would love to go down a path with you.”

My, my, he was confident. Your fingers twirled around his tie and you smirked devilishly, placing the records down with your free hand. Grinning, you pulled him down and his lips landed on yours. He seemed taken aback for a second before he fell into the kiss, shifting closer and placing a hand on the wall by your head. His other hand ran up your thigh, circling patterns.

“Oh,” you gasped slightly, pulling away from him. His eyes were hungry, dilated with arousal and you apologized, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do that. I must have just –”

His hand left your thigh, touching your jawline, tracing it. “You must have what? Come on, doll, don’t play coy. You don’t have to be ashamed. I for one, am happy that you did that –”

You heard the unmistakable deep growl from behind him and you smiled, leaning back on the bench. “Сними свои руки!”

Giving him a quick smile, you told him, “Oh, yeah, and I had a warning about that.”

The guy’s eyes widened slightly and he turned around meeting Castiel face to face.

“Beat it!” Castiel snarled at the guy.

With his ego on the line, the guy straightened up and asked, “You really think I’m going to let a foreigner tell me what to do in my own country?”

Castiel stepped closer, his eyes intense. You smiled at his intensity, feeling your stomach flutter, wanting nothing more than to have him take you right then and there.

“This foreigner owns this place. This foreigner runs the vory in this county. And this foreigner is telling you to get away from his woman and get the fuck out of his establishment unless you want to get your head caved in.”

The man’s demeanor had deflated the more Castiel spoke and he cleared his throat, looking at Cas nervously. He finally stammered, “Well, you need to tell your woman to not go around kissing random men!”

He shot you a pissed off look before storming off and heading towards the door. Your eyes followed him and you smirked at his retreating back, satisfied with how that conversation had gone.

When you turned your gaze back to Castiel, he looked a mixture of confusion and irritation. “You kissed him?”

You tutted, reaching out and taking your drink from him, “Cas, I was only trying to get drinks.”

At this admittance, Castiel’s eyes flashed, going from concern to anger in a matter of seconds.

“You’re on a date with me, цветок! If you want a drink ask.”

“He was being a creep. You should have seen the way he was staring at me. It was insulting really that he even approached me. But, I taught him a lesson – with your help – and hopefully he won’t go around preying on women like that for much longer.”

Castiel moved closer to you and you felt cornered against the wall. Yet, all you could feel was the flame burning hotter inside you, knowing you had struck a nerve with him. You looked up at him innocently, flicking the cigarette into the ash tray, keeping eye contact with him.

“The only man you pay attention to is me, da?”

“What if I got places to be?” you teased him.

Again, Castiel’s eyes flashed and he told you in a low, rumbling voice, “The only place you’re going to be is on a bed, pinned down. Do you understand me?”

That was bold of him and you were turned on by his assertion. Smirking, you nipped at his nose, a wide grin on your face. “Is that a promise?”

“Да, маленькая пчела. I promise.”

He couldn’t resist you.

----

Сними свои руки -- Snimi svoi ruki! (Get your hands off her!) Цветок – tsvetok (Flower) Да, маленькая пчела -- Da, malen'kaya pchela. (Yes, little bee)

~~~

CASTIEL TAGS: @prince-halfblood, @splendidcas, @klaineaholic, @letsthedogpackandthecats, @alexastacio, @winchesterforever12 @seirensou @tacos-and-trenchcoats @the-amaranthine @intheir-dreams @marisayouass @demonicguardianangel @afanofmanystuffs @greenappleeyes @holyheadharpies-quidditch-blog @misscherryberry @too-lazy-for-this-world @dragonchantant

OTHER TAGS: @morbid-apricots @moon-and-stars-cas  @stori-teller @castiels-broken-fool @thebookisbtr @jinxkatkazama @findingfitnessforme @xxmizzlexx @waywardmoeyy @cas-honeybee @musicalraven07 @willowtighe

[masseffectgayliens]

How come the rest of the gang isnt aware of their fans?

Tali read the question out loud, for the whole “gang” to hear. It was virtually pointless though, as most of them were entrenched in their dinner anyway.

“I wouldn’t say you’re not aware. You’re not the brightest bulbs in the bunch but you can’t be that thickheaded, either. Especially since some of them send you suspiciously regular mail and stuff.”, Tali answered, mostly addressing herself to the Normandy walls and to Gardner. Ah, Gardner. Always conspicuously trying to appear inconspicuous while listening for any dirt on members of the crew.

“Tali, we joined the Normandy squad fan forum. You know that.”, Shepard grumbled, frustratingly stabbing her peas.

Garrus chuckled slightly from next to her, to which she responded with an objectively painful kick to the helpless turian’s shin, and a murderous glare.

Then the whole thing came back to Tali, and she started audibly giggling as well, rejoicing in the fact that she was a safe distance away from the angry commander.

Throwback to a few months earlier. Tali had just stepped into the cargo bay, ready for another mission, but as she looked around, she found only Garrus, leaning back against the Hammerhead, fiddling with his datapad. She shrugged, realising they were both probably early, and she thought there would be no better opportunity to hone her turian-pestering skills than while waiting for Shepard to waltz them off towards more danger. He was so entrenched in what he was doing that he didn’t notice her until she cheerfully plucked the datapad from his grasp.

Sneaky quarian snooper: 1, Her victim, now with increased trust issues: 0.

While he was exclaiming with surprise, Tali examined the screen in front of her.

“…Galactic Ass-Kickers United?”

Garrus flicked his mandibles in annoyance, swiping his datapad back and holding it above his head.

Self-elected Normandy midget representative: 1, Tall turian asshole: 1.

Normally, Tali would give him another type of well-deserved kick to the shin for this blatant abuse of his freaky height, but right now she was too curious as to why Garrus was browsing an online nerd forum.

“It’s, uh, it’s what some people call us. Apparently.”, he said sheepishly.

“Us?”

“You, me, everyone who went after Saren.”

“Oh.”

A few moments of uncomfortable silence passed. Tali was pondering his words, Garrus was still warily holding the datapad above her reach. Until he suddenly felt his earlier assholery get repaid tenfold when the quarian forcefully stomped on his foot, causing him to double over with a groan, which prompted Tali to swiftly rid him of his precious possession. Again.

Everyone that isn’t Garrus: 2, Garrus: -25684.

With Garrus’ whines as relaxing background noises, Tali looked through the site, its threads and topics, until the realisation dawned on her.

“Garrus, how long have you been a part of our official fan forum?”

“First off, that was a cheap move, second off, why’s it matter?”

“OhmygodhaveyouseenthisfanartGarrusKeelah”, she exclaimed in one breath.

Dismissing her suit’s inner ventilation system for not having enough dramatic effect, Tali fanned herself, admiring a smutty piece of work depicting Shepard, Garrus and herself.

“Spirits, Tali, I don’t go looking for it!”

“How come your inbox isn’t totally full of spam from our dedicated fans, then?”, she asked, looking over his sparse chat boxes with various members.

Most of his interactions were quite tame. He left witty remarks on most discussions, and chatted harmlessly with a few users about nothing in particular.

“Probably because they don’t know who I really am. To them, I’m simply TheLegend27.”, he declared, a bit too confidently for someone who chose TheLegend27 as a username.

Tali snorted, still shamelessly going through his activity log.

He seemed to engage with one forum user specifically. Almost every comment Garrus posted was somehow in relation to one Quads_of_fury. Tali tapped on his latest notification, which brought her to a thread entitled “NORMANDY CREW MOST LIKELY TOs”. And, although the thread itself was a goldmine, a certain inspired username caught Tali’s attention.

Quads_of_fury, 4:36 CT: most likely to spend all their credits on stupid shit?? i vote kaidan. he looks like the kind of guy who would literally start crying happy tears when he sees a lush shop

 Interestingly enough, Kaidan had swooned at the sight of the intergalactic bath bomb. He broke down, actually. Two times. Two times Tali had to almost completely physically restrain him so he didn’t waste his credits away on soaps and perfumes and lotions and OK they all smelled really good, but Tali was taught better than to give in to Satan like that. She wasn’t weak. Not to insinuate that Kaidan was. He was just really, really, into self-care products. Tali pictured the value of property damage they’d have to cover when Kaidan’s tears eventually flooded the lush shop, setting off all of the bath bombs at the same time.

She shuddered.

Naturally, TheLegend27 had something to say to Quads_of_fury.

TheLegend27, 4:38 CT: I vote Shepard. Mostly because I’ve actually stumbled into her at the supermarket. I could only stare in awe as I watched her pay for a disco ball helmet, a ketchup gun and glow in the dark toilet paper.

 Tali snickered, turning towards Garrus.

“Does Shepard know you’re shamelessly backstabbing her on the extranet?”

“Oh, please. She should’ve expected it.”

Tali clicked on Garrus’ most recently created thread: “Shepard is fuckin short. Discuss”. She put it in her “Stuff To Shamelessly Blackmail Garrus With” mental folder.

“Nevermind, I know she doesn’t know because if she did she’d have killed you by now.”, she stated matter-of-factly.

He just looked at her strangely, his mandibles flaring in what she came to recognize as the turian equivalent of a smile. Confused, she decided his cryptic looks could suck it, and she resumed her activities.

Quads_of_fury, 4:50 CT: ok first off RUDE second off shes not fuckin short her online bio says shes 5’4” shes AVERAGE honestly and even if she was short who cares shes like the badassest person ever rn and these kinds of threads just undermine her authority so to conclude. u suck @TheLegend27

 Tali was moved to tears. Honestly. Quads_of_fury’s speech would make Shepard proud.

TheLegend27, 4:56 CT: *She’s 5’2”. **Which is short even for a human. ***The most badass

Quads_of_fury, 4:57 CT: I KNOW HOW IT’S SPELLED ASSHOLE

 The next thread was entitled “Shepard Appreciation Thread”.

Honestly Tali’s blackmail folder was having a field day.

She scrolled down to a piece of fanart depicting the crew, with Shepard as a focal point, happily crying while hugging Liara.

Quads_of_fury, 3:23 CT: false shepard does not cry

TheLegend27, 3:24 CT: Except when you point out the fact that elcor don’t wear shoes, then she spirals into depression

 It was a universal certainty that Shepard was never going to live that down. The one time she decided getting drunk was a good idea, after finally saving the galaxy, she got filmed by a bunch of curious teenagers. Honestly, the entire crew was pretty hammered, but when they started waxing philosophical about different species, Shepard had an epiphany, and no amount of alcohol would ever help her forget the vid of her sobbing at the thought of elcor rubbing their nasty feet-hands on every public bathroom floor. The extranet was a cruel and unforgiving mistress.

“So like… Are you going out of your way to personally victimize this user? Are they like your forum crush or something?”, Tali asked, finally tearing her eyes away from TheLegend27’s forum drama.

Garrus smirked at her again, then, without answering, turned around to greet Shepard herself, finally showing up, ready for another day of dodging bullets.

As they climbed into the shuttle, Tali felt him bend down, mouth closing in on her ear.

“You’ll see.”, he said, passionately typing away on his datapad.

Fast forward to dinner time, when Tali had all but forgotten about Garrus’ extranet vendetta against Quads_of_fury. Until the commander walked in, fashionably late once more, brows meeting in a small, frustrated knot.

“Who pissed in your cereal, huh?”, Jack inquisitively jabbed an elbow at her, careful not to drop her own bowl of cereal.

“This random extranet dickbrain. It’s no big deal, they’re just really annoying.”

“Oh, really? What sites are you surfing these days, Shep?”, Kasumi innocently piped in, giving Garrus, who was sitting right next to Tali, a knowing wink.

“Uhm, you know. Fan forums. And stuff. I’m interested in what people think of us.”

Shepard had her back to Tali, but the quarian was certain her face was now doing that distinctly human thing, when it became redder than the N7 stripe.

“I’m a member of your fan forum too, actually. Who’s bothering you? Is it TheLegend27?”, the thief pressed on.

Tali wanted to die.

“Yeah? How’d you know?”

“Who’s TheLegend27?”, Jack asked, her words just as dripped in confusion.

“Some say TheLegend27 is the first forum user ever. Born from fire.”

“I heard, TheLegend27 can never get banned, because they always come back.”, Garrus casually added.

“I heard TheLegend27 once locked an entire thread with a single roast.”, Joker joined in.

“But the worst part is, just when you think you’re safe”, Kasumi went on, ”just when you think you might escape… WHAM!!! Just like that! You get trolled.”

When everyone around the mess table faked a collective gasp, she sank even deeper in her suicidal disposition.

“I hate literally all of you.”, she caught herself saying, but she was cut off by the sound of Shepard’s datapad notification.

She checked it, slowly, then very suddenly her head snapped up to Garrus, who was cheerfully typing away, just as another notification sound pierced the tense silence.

Shepard didn’t advance, not before getting a tall glass and filling it with cold water. Then, as she menacingly started approaching Garrus, raising her glass like a weapon, all Tali could think was, he had it coming.

“This is a good time for you to become a missing person, Vakarian.”

Yep. Definitely had it coming.

[shatteredskies042]

NaNo Day 23

Ally watched him carefully, a longing in her eyes and emotions Michael could not decipher as he got comfortable in the chair. “What’s wrong?” Michael asked, meeting her gaze and furrowing a brow in confusion.

“Nothing,” the blonde said quickly, tearing her eyes away and looking at the fire. “Nobody has sat in that chair for sixty years. Since I put these chairs in,” she told him, glancing back at the soldier with a gentle smile.

“It’s a comfortable seat,” Michael promised, taking the final sip from his lemonade mixture. “This library is huge,” he noted.

“It’s the third largest surviving supernatural library in the world,” Ally said proudly, watching him. “The next is under New York, the largest is a magical academy in France,” she explained as she looked at him. “Those have more modern texts and are constantly updated,” the angel added. “This library stopped being regularly restocked when the Huntsmen collapsed, and while I’ve got some newer books, the majority was written up to and before 1942.”

“What happened to them?” Michael asked, “and what exactly were the Huntsmen? You mentioned they were a peacekeeping force.”

“They kept the supernatural world hidden and enforced the laws. Huntsmen were feared for their abilities and respected for them. There were Institutes all over Europe and North America. They were incredibly skilled fighters, magic users, sometimes they operated in teams, but for the most part they worked alone. The War led them to their downfall,” Ally remembered sadly as she looked at the fire. “They were straining to keep everything hidden, and communications between the ones trapped on the European continent were cut off from those in Russia, Britain, and the U.S. only made matters worse. The breaking point, or what everyone calls it, was when the Berlin Institute was bombed. The leadership there believed it was the work of the other Institutes, as their importance really wasn’t known to the allies. They struck back at the London Institute, and the infighting tore them apart,” Ally shook her head sadly.

“How many total are there?” he asked, listening to the tragedy intently.

“Well, here,” she waved to the building around them. “Outside New York City, London, Paris, Berlin, one to the south of Moscow, and there’s one in Rome. Most of them are hotels now, still focused on the supernatural,” she stated. “There’s a bunch of crazy rumors about a few other Institutes, like one in the West or one up in Alaska.”

“How did they keep the peace?” Michael wondered next.

“But sort of doing what we just did,” Ally said, “responding to conflicts and mediating. If somebody had to be hunted down, send a Huntsman. They solved the supernatural world’s problems, until they fell apart.”

“But if, like you said, the European Institutes were at war with each other, what about the New York one? Or Goddess Island?”

“They saw and heard what happened, and realized just how corrupt and flawed their system was as the world came apart around them. While the European Huntsmen died with bangs, the American Huntsmen just sort of faded away. I cleaned my fair share of skeletons out of this place,” Ally told him. “For the most part, they faded into society, some of them did their jobs as Huntsmen until their deaths, but the prestige of the profession was tarnished.”

Michael nodded slowly in understanding as he looked at her, then looked at the flickering fire. He listened to it crackle softly, and looked at the window at the brightness outside. It had felt like an entire day had passed already, but the sunlight would linger for a few hours still. He still had the Talon drive to decrypt, and now the Ivory Tower were worth looking into as well. “I think I’m going to head into town for a little bit,” he told the blonde.

“Want to pick up dinner while you’re there?” The angel asked with a raised eyebrow and a smile tugging at the corner of pink lips.

“Just tell me where to go,” he offered with a smile.

“I’ll text you, you still have the phone I gave you?” she asked.

“Yeah, thanks for reminding me,” he said, “is it secure? I don’t trust phones,” Michael admitted.

“These are pulled carefully and overwritten for members of the supernatural community,” Ally promised. “Don’t ask me how to explain how it works, but they essentially operate on another network and are scrambled so they’re hard to intercept. Unless of course the baddies get ahold of your phone,” she noted.

“Unlikely,” Michael promised, then rose from his chair, “see you in a bit with dinner,” he promised as he headed for the door. Michael did not know it, but Ally craned her head to watch him go, before staring at the chair he had sat in with a gentle smile, before returning to reading the old book.

Michael headed for his car and headed into town, referencing his shopping list from earlier where he needed to get more clothes and mundane things like a toothbrush. He could order some things online, more tactically focused gear, or just have Allyson order it for him. He found his way to a grocery store in the midst of town, wandering inside and taking a look around. Michael decided to take his cart and walk the aisles, searching meticulously for both things he needed and wanted along the way.

Years of training with the best special operators in the world, and I’m putting some of that to use shopping, he smiled to himself and laughed. His cart grew as he wandered upon things to store in the kitchen of the Institute, things he could cook with. As a guilty pleasure, he bought large bags of candy peppermints and sugared candy orange slices, knowing a good snack now and then would be a benefit. He finally found the health and self-care aisles, and picked up many of the things he needed. A toothbrush and paste, as well as shampoo and soap, and he felt that he had picked up what he needed.

Michael survived through the checkout process and carried the bags out to his car and secured them in the trunk. Next, he headed for a strip mall he had spotted near Scarlet’s coffee place. There were a few small clothing stores and a thrift store, only a handful of the former seemed like they would have clothing for him. Clothes shopping had never been his strong suit, but he needed to find things to wear: Things functional enough to pack his carry gear and low profile kit, but inconspicuous enough to blend in. The Grey Man look, they had a wardrobe of inconspicuous clothing and accessories back at their base in Hereford and Germany when he had been with Task Force BLACK. They had used them during low profile surveillance operations, or covert missions in urban spaces.

Even though he wasn’t going to be kidnapping important targets, or smashing a cyberwarfare den, being able to become a grey man and disappearing was an important equipment option he wanted to have.

He only found a handful of things in both stores, neutrally colored and generic clothing, just enough to blend in. He had tried on the new clothing in a fitting room with his handgun and magazines strapped to his body and rejected anything that printed at any point during his quick testing.

After loading the bags into his car, he felt his phone buzz. He had not remembered actually getting Ally’s name or phone number from her, but both and a picture were already present on his phone. She had sent him a number of pictures, captures of a menu. He sat in the driver’s seat of his Camaro and went over the information for a Chinese place in town. It was a good choice, he thought, his mind instantly going back to stakeouts and surveillance missions with BLACK. They had to eat, and as a joke they would usually get takeout from a Chinese place. They were almost ubiquitous, and rarely posed a health threat to the team the same way Mexican food or a greasy burger would.

He responded with what he wanted, and the blonde promised she would let him know when it was ready.

Michael smiled a bit, then looked at the thrift store. He had to give it a try, he decided after a moment of thinking. Maybe he would find something good there, if not, it killed more time until their takeout was ready. The inside was well lit, and something caught his eye almost as soon as he found his way to the clothing section: a flat black leather jacket. Pulling it off the hangar, he tried it on and stretched, moving to see if the leather would make any noise. It failed to, and Michael noted that the measurements were very similar to the semi-covert tactical jackets he had been issued in BLACK. With some minor modifications, he could easily conceal a pair of magazines in the jacket itself, and have plenty of pockets and storage space for equipment. Instantly enamored by the garment, Michael took it off and headed for the checkout counter, paying for it without much bartering and returning to his silver car.

There was also the possibility of reinforcing it, he thought. Like the gear he had previously, a thin layer of Kevlar Diamond Weave could be added to the interior, giving some ballistic protection. Maybe Ally knew a vendor or someone trustworthy to do it. He could hardly wear a ballistic vest or plates around everywhere he went, and with the possibility of both Talon goons and Ivory Tower operators out there gunning for him, he needed all the protection he could get.

As the sun’s light faded from the sky, Michael drove around, familiarizing himself with the town and the territory. Once Ally told him their food was ready, he drove to the address provided and headed inside, waiting in a short line until he was directed to the pick up counter.

In and out was fairly quick, and he walked out with two bags of pungent Chinese food. He returned to the island, and found Allyson standing in the garage when he backed in. “Welcome back,” she greeted with a smile as he got out of the car.

“Hey,” he replied. “The food is in the passenger seat, I bought some stuff I have to bring in, too,” he admitted as he crossed over the trunk.

“Catch,” Ally bid as she tossed him a small black box. “Garage door opener,” she explained as she claimed the two bags of Chinese food. “I’ll put these in the kitchen and then come back and help you with the groceries,” she promised before disappearing into the Institute.

Michael leaned into the open passenger door and mounted the device Ally had given him to the visor on the driver’s side, then retreated to get the groceries from the trunk. It took the two of them a pair of trips each, and once they were done Michael stored the refrigerated goods before doing anything else. Once that was taken care of, he joined Ally at the table and took arrayed his meal around his eating space while the blonde chewed on a piece of pork.

“You bought clothes too?” she asked, looking up at him while he opened the white containers and looked at his meal. He speared a piece of orange chicken with his fork and took a bite before he responded.

“Most of the clothes I got from my storage unit were a bit small,” he told her. “They still fit me, of course, but I can’t easily conceal a weapon while wearing them.”

Ally nodded affirmatively, “I see,” a smile curled at her sauce stained lips before she ran over them with a napkin. “You’re not going to be bringing diva levels of clothing with you on our missions, right?” she teased.

“Only diva levels of equipment,” he promised with a returned smile. They ate in a comfortable silence, and afterwards Michael thanked the blonde for dinner.

“Don’t worry,” she responded with a sly smile, “pay me back by cooking breakfast in the morning,” the told him.  

Word Count: 45626

[thecosmiccuttlefish]

This Post Was A Long Time Coming

I can’t handle eating disorders. They’re the worst. I hate them I hate them I hate them, and FRANKLY I don’t see how I can exercise ever and be recovered. What does recovery look like? Well, I think it looks like me not thinking about eating disorders.

Eating eating eating. How can I “eat healthy” and not have an eating disorder? I don’t know.

Last last night was crazy.

Clementine and I went downtown, had sushi. My mum said I didn’t have enough to eat. I ordered more than my quinoa cone and soup, a salmon roll and some of Julia’s “hideous” cream cheese roll.

Then we went down the street, in the cold, to a strip club. I said I was going to eat more, I didn’t. 

It was “ladies night” and the club was on the second floor of a building. Right underneath a “Polish Rub” massage parlor. I was expecting some stingy, scary, place. So, much to my relief when I got there there was a cluster of late 20-40 year old women. All laughing joyously as wine had already coursed through their system. A couple gay men as well. We waited in a clean and bright lobby in front of an elevator. In preparation they had sent the ladies back down.

Eventually we all decided to “storm the upstairs” and so up we went. We paid, they scanned our ID’s and we found seats. The chairs were set up around a large stage in a circular fashion. Soon, a socitally-pretty blonde girl in a strap-y white flowing dress came and offered us drinks. Julia ordered a gin and tonic. I wasn’t sure what to get at first (I was thinking calories). A eastern european woman and her husband sat beside julia. “Suckkksss for youuuuu” I said smiling as the man sat next to her.  “Margooo” She said in a pleading voice. The woman received a what looked like a margarita that was green, and sparking. When I asked what it was she said that she had asked for “Something sweet.”. She asked I could try if I liked, I declined. Her husband had ordered some non-alcoholic beverage as well.

Eventually, I followed Julia’s lead. The Society Approved Pretty Girl (SAPG) waitress kind of approached me and said “One bill? Or two?” Okay. So if Clementine and I are in some lesbian relationship, or I’m trying in vain to woo her by taking her to a male strip show, I’m the butch. Or, I exude the dominant personality vibe. Was what I gained from that interaction. Once the SAPG asked if this was our first time (and we told her it was) she took a liking to us. She gave us the tip that if we went and purchased a bunch of one dollar bills, and folded them over the barrier between the table and the stage, the strippers would come and pay extra close attention to us.

Later, when our water split on our ones’. She came and mopped up. “I’m not done” said she. She returned with a pile of napkins and one by one placed the bills in between the sheets, pressed them, then pulled them out for us to continue sticking into stripper’s butt cracks and the like.

I saw a guy walk around with a tacky white shirt and glasses. I thought he was a dancer. Clementine corrected me. “Nah. I think he’s like their announcer or pimp.” She’s surprisingly intuitive sometimes. 

Eventually the men came out, one by one and began to perform for us.

The first guy was a cop. He came out with a big bag of props and began to dance around circle stage. The lovely middle aged people from the lobby were seated from 1-4 o’clock (If clementine and I were somewhere around 5) Past the drink couple was a group of women including this one who interested me. She did this thing where she placed her chin on her hands and would just watch the dancer like her stare alone could seduce them. She bit her lip turn her gaze upwards and give money. Like she was in control or something. I don’t know. I kept string back at her, judging her silently. Cop guy was pretty cool. He was the best dancer skill wise. He had fire, and impressive pole acrobatics. This could be to make up for the fact that his penis was small.

(That’s right, they go full nudity.)

I was really getting into it, or trying to at least, so I took the pretty server’s advice and folded bills over the ledge. The guy came around and took his towel and put it around my head and waggled his penis around. Wow.

At the end when I threw him an extra dolla’ bill he kissed my hand and said: “I hope it was as good for you as it was for me.”

Then a cowboy, who didn't have many moves but a very big penis.

Then some inconspicuous SWAT team guy with the color scheme of an edgy lifeguard. Black and red. This guy’s name was Casanova. He was the “hottest” according to the pretty server who told us told us this ahead of time upon Clementine’s inquiry.

During the whole night the flamboyant  MC was announcing between performances “If any of you would like a private dance from any of these fine gentlemen, you can do so for only twenty five dollars!” I was thinking about it the entire time. Clementine and I joked about it, she even pondered if we could get one together and by the end I was so... revved up, it was clear I was the most into the idea, so I told clementine: “Wait here.” and I went and withdrew $25 from the ATM with the ludicrous withdrawal charge of $5.

Then, began to make my way across the short room, past scantly dressed ladies and female strippers who were beginning to make their presence known for the start of their show. The first one was dressed like a bride, I believe. I tapped the MC, the sunglassed man, the flamboyant fella’, on the shoulder of his white T-shirt.“Hi... Um, I’d like to have a private dance.”I held out my meager offering of dollar bills.“Sure darling, who with?”“Um... Casanova. Please.”“Alright.” He touched me on the back and sat me down in a booth. “Wait here. I’ll go tell him.”So I sat on the booth until MC mcDazzle returned.“Casanova is coming soon. He just has a lot of lotion on him right now and is trying to wash it off. Wait here.”

“Oh okay.”

Watching the current female stripper who was in the middle of lighting a heart she drew on the stage with alcohol on fire, and Clementine observe her nonchalantly made me wonder if I had made a mistake, If I should stay and watch this snazzy show, but I didn't have much time to think it over though, because soon came someone to tell me I couldn’t sit at the private booth unless I’d paid for it, and then not long after that came Casanova.“Are you Margo?” He said, touching me gently.I smiled. “Yes.” He smiled “Follow me.”

He then lead me back past the dressing rooms to a lounge lit with neon lights and consisted of several nooks. Each with a couch and a curtain, which was rung like a shower curtain protecting it. Carmelo sat me down and I looked to the left, where I just saw into another nook. Two girls were being entertained by one dancer. “Shoot.” I thought. “I could’ve brought Clementine.” The dancer was the first one, the policeman now dressed down, who looked over to Casanova and said something which imbued me with the impression that the girls were the least of their concerns, and they (the policeman dancer in particular) were more concerned with money and physical sensation than anything else.The retired police man said something like: “So, do I just go out there and like... ask them? I've had like three girls already!!!” Something like that?Then my personal S.W.A.T man, who imbued with me the sense that he was macho, experienced, and didn't give a darn care about what the other dancer said or did.Then, my dear Casanova closed the curtain and focused on me.

“Is this your first time?” My genie from a passion bottle inquired

“Yes...” I responded.

Casanova smiled knowingly.

“Are you nervous?”

I wasn't nervous, but to play his game of misogyny and predictability for some reason I can’t fathom I smiled as sweetly as I could and said “Yes.”

“Why are you nervous?” A smile crept on Casanova’s lips. “I’m getting naked for you.”  I smiled in return. My willingness to buy into his preplanned Q and A had worked. I had pleased my fairy god stripper.  He began to get naked. He swayed his hips and gently pushed my shoulders into the seat. “Just relax.” He told me.

And with articles of clothing falling on the floor like snowflakes, or male ejaculation choose your own adventure, my dear sweet titillating Casanova  began to dance.

Now you have to understand, here he is, dancing for a skinny girl, suffering from anorexia who has a muted sense of humor but no hormones. For him, I imagine it was like throwing hay at a dead hamster. Unenjoyable and lifeless as that metaphor.  The stripper equivalent of putting paper into a jammed scanner. Limp and lifeless as his penis. 

He was good humored though, as I began my Q an A

“So.” I asked. “Do you like your job?”

“If I didn’t like it then I wouldn’t be doing it...” he purred.

“Where did you learn to dance?”

“I don’t know.... when I was a kid on the street I would dance. I just learned.”

He leaned over me. Swung his penis around. I was entranced by his abdominal muscles.

“Can I touch?”

“Sure.”

So I awkwardly ran my hands along his saucy obliques. 

The *ttch tch tch* was playing in the background. The purple and blues of the mood lit room created an intriguing ambiance, and I was entertained to say the least by my macho man candy for hire. 

Soon though, he pulled me up gently by the hand and said “Thank you.” 

With that, I stumbled back out to the club and sat down on my stool just in time to catch the stipper with black hair and a tight body slide slip out of a kiddie pool and slide across the the soaped stage flat belly first.

“How was it?” asked Clementine.

“It was good.” I told her. 

We watched the ladies for a bit and mused at how much more talented they were than the men, and how much more fun they were to watch. 

Near the end of our stay, Cassanova came by our table and made small talk with Clementine. I could tell by the way he looked at her, and the amount of eye contact he made with my friend that he favored her. 

He passed her his phone. “Here. Put in your number.” Clementine did so,

then he passed it to me and requested I do the same. 

Now why, I gave into the whims of this man, I don’t even know. I was being seduced. But I gave in. 

Have you read the book “The Game”? Highly recommend. It’s about that shit. manipulation and the rest.

Then he leaned over to Clementine and I and said “Give me a kiss.” 

Clementine kissed him on his cheek. Lo and behold, so did I.

I can’t believe I give into this shit! 

He did give us the name of a good club though, I believe it was called the “Temple”

Anywhoo, we walked down the streets afterwards and was looking for the club. There was people trying to sell us bracelets, getting us in for cheaper into other clubs that looked all rainbow in their spelling, which was kind of confusing because why would they be selling it to us for cheaper if they couldn't make a profit. 

Interesting fact, it seemed to me that the clubs were very divided by race. Like, skin tone. The first club we passed by was the white young people club. Then the club with people selling wrist bands outside was definitely lots of Asian people. 

Anyways, eventually we got to the Temple. What a place. It was definitely the black people club. 

I was struck my the hired dancers dancing against the walls. It was cool to see them, how they made eye contact with each other to take breaks. 

I asked for something to drink at the bar, something “sweet”

The guy just looked at me. “We don’t really do that here.” He said. 

He attempted to make something sweetish, and charged me 11 dollars for it. I barley even touched it. Alcohol has calories...

We danced. Clementine kept asking me if I was okay, like if I was on drugs or something. I was just spacing out and taking it all in. What did it mean? It felt like entire world was in this club! But it wasn't. Not even a fragment of the city was here. The rest were at home, working, with families, sleeping, relaxing. What was everyone running from? 

We grinded with some guys. I saw a tall, guy with freckles across the dance floor, my kind of catch, but I grimaced as I saw he was towing a cute girl by the hand. 

It didn't take long for clementine to lock eyes with some guy and get swept away. Grind fest.

Eventually we broke away and I worked up the courage to ask these guys to play pool.

More hired ladies came through the dance floor with champagne bottles in holders that looked like jet planes.

Clementine came to me and said the guy wanted to take her somewhere. 

“Maybe not.” I suggested.

She went anyways.

I figured I was a bad friend for letting her go or something. But I almost didn't care, I was disassociating all over the place. It was so loud.. 

I played more pool, then went back on the dance floor and looked at this one twitchy guy who was making eye contact with me on the regular. So, I made eye contact with him eventually and got to moving in. “Do you want to dance?” He asked. “Sure.” I responded. 

His dancing was just as twitchy as his eye contact. He wasn't even grinding to the music. Eventually I just turned around and said “Thank You.” 

Clementine found me, thank god. the guy still in tow and who did we happen to run into but the tall attractive guy with freckles. But it wasn't any guy. It was Damien. Damien Stork from High School. This guy I had this massive crush on and wore lose shirts around but he was kind of an asshole and couldn't accept when he had been tagged and disobeyed his parents. But boy was he smat.

I asked him, trying to look as attractive as possible next to his perfect attractive friends “What are you doing now?” “Stocks” “Of course you are.”

Of course Damien Stork is doing freakin’ stocks. What else would be be doing?

“How is that?” 

“It’s crazy,” said Damien, his eyes alight. “You’ll make 300,000 one day and loose 200,000 the next.”

He is highly ADHD. I remember my parents telling me this, I also know they refused to medicate him. So there. Though... I think he asked for it... begged for it?

Anyways, eventually his beautiful girl friend dragged him away and we went back to dancing.

Somewhere in there a stout asian man grabbed Clementine and talked to her. She later told me he was asking her questions like “Can I ask you a few questions” and “What is your favorite color” ect. He wanted her to come to a ranch in the country??? Sugar baby?  Soon we left. 

We went to the bathroom and Clementine asked if I wanted to go... I kind of wanted to stay till closing. To see what it was like, but we determined it wasn't until a few hours at least. 4am? So we left. While getting our jackets Clementine embraced with her man for a long kiss. He wanted to take her home, then we went home. 

We saw Damien and his girl outside. 

The taxi driver... I felt like he ripped us off somehow. Something to do with him turning off the money counter display... but I can’t remember why?

I collapsed, but felt oddly rested the next day. 

In the morning I felt violated, the strip club part especially, but it’s okay now. Now it just feels like a story.