#Some of those responses kept me going while enduring the 3 pointless hours of trying to get my correlation bar graph done

[oxourry]

OnS 57 Survey - Results

At 558 responses, the Owari no Seraph chapter 57 survey has come to a close. 

I will say that since this was my first time doing this, I knew it wouldn’t come without errors. It wasn’t until like 50 responses in that I realized I could have worded things better, not included so much leeway in some questions, left more write in options, and also included a couple more important questions. If I ever do one of these again I’ll have learned from this time.

There were two questions that took in opinions from respondents and in total all of those totaled up to about 600. Obviously, I couldn’t add every single one here, but I tried to include as many as I could to give you all an idea of the current mindset of the fandom at the moment. Things get pretty lengthy so this will be all under a read more.

Also, I know I shouldn’t have to say it, but sometimes this fandom can be demonically soul sucking, so don’t start any of that fandom wank bullshit because there are opinions here that you don’t agree with. We’re all mature enough to rant about it in private. Thank you.

Anyways, let’s start.

Though it was close, it seems the 18-24 age group are the majority in this side of the fandom. Not only that, adding up the other numbers (It should be noted that there was 1 person that responded with 35+, unfortunately, it seems like there’s barely even a tiny line to acknowledge it) minors happen to be the minority in the fandom if even by a small percent.

The graph speaks for itself, though it really does make me wish I could survey the SQ readers in Japan. Would the Male-Female results be flipped?

Among the 86 write ins, Instagram was the most popular with 30 respondents using it as a primary OnS social media platform. Amino and VK were the follow ups with 8 respondents.

I find this one very important. It shows the reaches of the survey doesn’t exactly speak for a diverse portion of the western fandom. Overall, I think it sticks in this little Tumblr niche of ours.

2 (0.4%) respondents began with the Light Novels. 3 (0.5%) respondents began with the Anime and Light Novels. 4 (0.7%) respondents began with the Manga and Light Novels. 15 (2.7%) respondents began the series with all three.

27 (4.8%) respondents have been following OnS for 4+ years (My condolences).

The two below ‘For the art’ and above ‘Other’ say ‘Someone recommended it’ and ‘Seeing posts about it on social media’

Here are a handful of responses from those that chose Other

Soundtrack by Sawano Hiroyuki

I was interested in knowing how would an anime based in Nagoya turned out (I lived in Nagoya for a year)

Found it under "new anime" section and just tried it

I found on mangapark and just checked out of curiosity

I'm a slut for anything Kagami writes. Especially MokuAri.

Played Tales of Zestiria, saw Seraph in the title of OnS, watched it

The option above ‘For the plot’ states ‘I’m not caught up’ and the two options below ‘For the art’ state ‘For a specific plot point/mystery’ and ‘For the fandom discussions/fanart/fanfics/fanvids/memes’.

While a majority of respondents originally got into the series for the plot, it seems like sticking around for a character and ship barely managed to become the new top reason.

A couple of write in responses

because I am a fandom grandma-- I fell in love with it and can't get her lazy ass out

I don´t really know anymore... I´m too deep into and it´s just a part of my life right now

Moving from the demographic questions, this next section was based off of character and ship preferences

Originally, I had omitted the ‘both’ option, but the person I had do a run through of the survey at first claimed she couldn’t pick between them. Given the disparity in the vampire and humans here, my guess is that the vampires really do have audience favorability when it comes down to it.

Shinoa’s squad takes a majority of the audience’s interest with the Sanguinem vampires falling in at nearly half as much. 

Some of the write ins

Honestly, they're all interesting, there are so much we don't know and it really is intriguing.

Hyakuya kids, I refuse to believe that a group that meet for a few months is more important than another group that you knew for years

The Hiiragi Family

Specific characters from each(Yuu, Mika, Guren, Shinya, Ferid, Krul, etc.)

Mika, Yuu, and Shinya hold the crowns for being the most popular in our end of the fandom. Shinoa and Krul trail behind in fourth and fifth place.

Akane was the most popular write in, having 2 of the 9 write ins go to her.

A few other write ins

Is Mika's happiness a character because I can't wait for them to return

Shuusaku

Yoichi's right cheek

Kureto, Mahiru No Yo, and Guren happen to be the least favorites with Ferid in fourth place and Saito and Shinoa tying for fifth after a considerable percent gap.

Tenri had 9 write ins of the 27.

Other answers given were

Seishiro

At certain times, the main character(s) will start to become annoying.

Kagami Takaya

Everyone else that's not Yoichi's right cheek or Mikaela Hyakuya

Mahiru and Mitsuba's weirdly drawn boobs

Mika, Shinya, and Yuu take the lead for most physically attractive with Guren and Crowley following in fourth and fifth.

Gekkoin was the most frequent write in with 4 of the 13 write in responses going to him.

Other write ins included

Everyone's gorgeous tbh

Kureto's eyebrows

An overwhelming majority of the fandom happen to be shippers or at least have a ship they have some positive feelings for. Only 25 (4.5%) of respondents don’t ship anything.

Yuichiro/Mikaela, Guren/Shinya, and Shinoa/Mitsuba take the top three spots.

There were a few popular write ins.

Mikaela/Yoichi (15), Kureto/Guren (8), Kureto/Aoi (8), Krul/Ferid (5), Kureto/Shinya (5), and Lacus/Rene (5)

The next section covered Chapter 57 and general feelings about plot points and the manga.

Though it’s kind of close, majority of respondents seem to have a midway satisfaction with the manga at the moment. There’s a definite lean to the optimistic side of things.

After this, I then asked if respondents could give a more detailed explanation for their answer. I received 346 responses and while I can’t put them all on here, here are a handful of opinions.

This story is still a baby bird, so I'm being patient with it. Besides, monthly manga always feel slower

After the time skip everything became rushed, characters just numbly move from plot twist to plot twist repeating the same "what should we do" conversation every time they get any new info. Characters make worrying statements that the framing shows as positive and people and character motivation driving plot points are resolved and thrown out like they were nothing.

I honestly disagree with those who are just ranting and raging about the last chapters, every (and I have to make an emphasis on this, EVERY) story needs some developement and that may take time, you can't just rush things and expect that complex aspects of the story will be explained in the most simple and stupid way just to go back to the action as soon as possible. I'm okay with knowing more about the story and the characters and get more details to think by myself of what could happen in the future chapters

The story feels like it's been spinning its wheels since the Shinoa squad teamed up with Ferid and Crowley. I actually liked the newest chapter quite a bit since it made some definite progress on the plot, but most of the other chapters don't seem to move things along enough for how many pages they have.

I'm excited we're finally get some plot development with Shikama being the first progenitor, though I feel like some things, like the three-month time skip was unnecessary and created a halt in the story.

Although not perfect, which is why I only gave a 4, I do feel like things are progressing smoothly and we continue to see interesting plot developments as the stories moves on.

I can't say I'm a fan of the direction Kagami is taking, but at least the plot is moving forward.

Generally I like how it is going, I just hope they have a good explanation for Shikama Doji being with Kureto and Shinoa at the same time. I'm excited about how everything will play out and I think they are on a good way.

Reading this manga is like drinking a margarita that you know is spiked with laxatives to be fucking honest

Majority of respondents didn’t expect Shikama Doji to be the First Progenitor while 34 (6.1%) totally saw it coming. Overall, I think the plot reveal caught most people by surprise.

This question was a bit divided. 58 (10.4%) of respondents wish the First Progenitor was someone else.

Among the write in responses we have:

I'm kind of wondering why he is so weak as a demon (e.g. Yuu is a lot stronger than Shinoa, but maybe that is their own strength?) I hope it will get explained

I wanted it to be like Dracula

I'm okay with it, but I also wish it was Yu

I'm not sure. While it was pretty obvious to me it still came out of nowhere, there weren't much hints at all, I just thought it was them via process of elimination, no one else gave off a vibe of being the First Progenitor. So I think it wasn't well developed at all, it's kind of like Scrappy-Doo being the villain of the first movie, except it makes sense in that case considering his history as a character both in the series' plot and in the fandom, and the reveal was better handled.

This question was hilariously split among everyone’s opinions on what Kagami has planned for this part of the plot. It makes me a bit eager to see what’ll happen to see which faction will be right lol

Half of the respondents would love for Yuichiro to just chill out with the next majority hoping Yuu is successful in reviving the deceased and the world doesn’t get harmed from it.

Most respondents don’t believe Shikama Doji will be the ultimate Big Bad. There will either be someone working alongside him or above him. Maybe God? We’ll see.

Majority don’t believe Shinoa will ever be at odds with her squad, though 20 (3.6%) respondents think she will be.

Although a hefty portion aren’t too confident in guessing what Kagami has planned, majority believe Shinoa will unlock the power Mahiru No Yo spoke about by having a desire to protect her squad.

Of the 27 write ins for this portion, some respondents believed this:

She will realize her feelings for Yuichiro, but I don't think it will go as far as having sex or a sexual encounter

One of the 7 sins that is not necessarily lust that awaken some strong desire inside her. Envy.

as seen before, probably killing one of her brothers

Over half of the respondents hope to see the power of family pull through with Shinoa getting the full power of her demon though over a quarter of people hope that she never unlocks that power. 18 (3.2%) of respondents do hope she has sex or a sexual encounter with Yuichiro to awaken her demon.

A few of the 31 write ins:

Something unexpected and cool

By having sex with Mitsuba

By pure wish and strong will

I hope she doesn't because I don't want to see her become her sister. I want to see her grow powerful without the aid of a demon.

Recognising her feelings for Yuu.

Through a sexual encounter with Crowley

While most people believe she is a set antagonist, a significant portion of people aren’t too sure.

Here are some of the write in responses:

Enemy of my enemy type of ally

I believe she was used by saito

Yes but not of her own accord. Seeing that she's mostly demon now.

Part of it, but not the mastermind behind everything

No, Mahiru no Yo is probably just a puppet trying to rebel

Majority don’t believe him to be an antaognist in the bigger picture of things, though a considerable fraction aren’t too sure.

He's just... weird. I don't trust him nor his intentions.

He's like the middle man-ish.

No, he's probably doing everything to contradict Saito, who is trying to contradict Shikama Douji.

I think Ferid is simply doing what Saito manipulates him into doing, by doing the opposite of what he THINKS Saito wants.

Though it’s close, most people aren’t too sure where Saito stands in the end.

I think Saito works for Shikamadouji but intends to betray them

A victim-turned-villain who's familiar with the antagonists' plan and so participated in it

Majority are hoping to see the Michaela factor get more attention in the narrative with the seraph gene falling behind in second place. 

Yoichi getting revenge for his sister

Asuramaru's and Krul's backstory and relationship

The Hiiragi family

The downfall of the JIDA

Explaining what the hell is going on with Guren. He's already with the main characters anyways, might as well give an explanation.

And lastly, I had asked for closping opinions on chapter 57 and Owari no Seraph as a whole before ending the survey. I received around 250 responses. While I can’t post all, here are a handful.

As a whole, I wished that we saw more representations of the characters' mindsets on the current situations. Their minds have to be pretty messsed up after all the things that have happened, but we only see how the characters act so impulsively in the moment and only hear their current thoughts that we don't get to know what they think of the consequences and impacts of their decisions. It may be because of my intense liking for Tokyo Ghoul, but I would really like to see the impact of the many things going on. I think it will help us understand characters like Yuuichirou, Mikaela, Guren, Shinoa, and tons of other characters better.

There is so much potential in the world Kagami has attempted to build, so much that can be explored in this series. There are some really incredible characters if they get the proper treatment. I really hope it doesn't get ruined or that Kagami doesn't take the easy way out with cheap/bad plot devices (such as Shinoa awakening her demon by having sex with someone, especially Yuuichirou, because that's cheap and boring and so unbelievably unoriginal). I adore this series so much, so I hope it gets the development it deserves.

I have faith for a solid story, even if I don't personally agree with every plot point.

WHAT IS MAHIRU ACTUALLY 

Kind of surprising, but overall I think it's okay as long as it's written well and everything ties together in the end. This new reveal could add a bunch of new plot points which might be odd because I think there's a lot of other things the writers need to explain or get into. I guess I'm just trying to think positively about what this could add or mean for future chapters.

Thanks to OnS, I've been able to find a niche I thoroughly enjoy spending many hours enjoying fanfics, shippings, discussions and fangirling over some of the characters.The Anime is Ok, but I absolutely adore the Manga

I want Crowley's thicc in my thrussy 

Needs consistent characterization as opposed to 'whatever mood the situation requires' as it's been doing, if it can pull that off then I think OnS would be able to flow better even if the plot development is slow

If we don't see Shinya's bare chest or dick by the end of this manga, what was the fucking point? @ Kagami 

I think the author worries too much on hitting various shonen tropes, and also making a commercial product. The manga would probably improve if it changed magazines to something less mainstream and less shonen focused.  

If Mika dies by the end of this manga, I will rip my asshole inside out

kagami why

Again, thank you for particpating in the survey! I will definitely do it again at some point if I can and hopefully I’ll be able to give more in depth analyses from the questions provided. Hope you have fun interpreting this stuff as you will lol

[aurumaiz-blog]

David Attenborough's "a day in a life of a broken hearted moron"

(Warning - I have decided not to go through this and edit is as it is honestly straight from a am deep thinking session and everything written is straight from the heart - so excuse poor grammar and please don’t hate me)

They say that during a break up, it gets easier over time. That as every day slowly rolls past,  every sleepless night that you endure, it gets a little better. This is a stigma designed to just try and make you feel better. I’m sure that in some cases this may be true to a certain extent, but with every day comes more time, and with more time comes thought.

When it happened to me, it was expected. University is a difficult position when it comes to a long-term relationship; the fact that new memories with new people are being made; new places without the original person. Every young couple has the “we can try it through university” talk and it's the same story every time:

“oh did you hear about that couple that broke up?”

“Yeah but we’ll be fine”.

…

At the time this may be true, life is good! Every day you’re seeing your significant other while making the best moments and having the best time. Yeah there will be issues and arguments but the dreaded phrase “if its meant to be it’ll work out” is unfortunately true (to a certain degree). I was certainly in this situation where I was the happiest I could possibly be. Obviously issues arise and shit storms come and go; hell, my friends take the piss out of all the things i go through! Yet I have always lived by the “one foot in front of the other method” and so far in life it has got me this far. In the words that I used to describe my experiences to other, there really are bigger things happening in the world! It doesn’t make it any easier. When you think you and your partner are happy but it turns out one of you isn’t, it's the worst feeling in the world. The idea that you aren’t capable of keeping the girl that is your best friend and most important thing in your life happy is killer. Having that text conversation where you know exactly how it is going to end is devastating. Emotions are raw in your mind and mistakes are made. Of course being the idiot I am, I talk too much. I first felt surprise and then anger, almost as if I had been cheated. “But you aren’t even making much of an effort? Blah blah blah blah stupid pointless argument blah blah blah” - followed by instant regret.

At the end of the day, the outcome won’t change. As a quote I hold to my heart to this day: “If it's in my mind now, what about the future? That’s unfair on you” and it’s true to a certain extent. I could go on about the details of my break up but in the end I deserved it. Maybe one day i’ll learn to control my words. Hah not likely!

There’s that limbo stage where neither of you want to talk but you’re still technically not broken up. Let me say now that those few days were quite honestly the worst of my life. You constantly want to try and save it; to try your hardest to prevent the eventual outcome but alas, there is nothing to be done. Every heartbeat there is a new thought and with every thought there is a new possibility, a new outcome. At the end of the day I am honestly extremely proud of her for having the strength to drive to me and talk to me in person about it; as far as a break up goes i’m glad that my first real one was done properly. Cliché time! It was a freezing cold night at around 11pm when we sat in her car and just cried together. 3 years is a long time to get to know someone and be with them. But to grow up with them, to experience once in a lifetime memories with them and to be there for them in horrible situations (and vice versa of course). THAT is when its different in my opinion. I’m not saying my situation was the worst in the world because of course somewhere someone has had it worse. As far as my relationship goes, it was the best 3 years of my life and to this day I would not trade it for the world. That’s what made it so hard. 3 years coming down to this day. We sat there and while I practically begged for a way to try and sort it out, I could hear it in her voice that her mind was set the minute she first thought it. That's the worst part. Knowing that the other half has already made their decision. It’s heart wrenching. In the end i settled on an “ok” as i concluded I needed to try and let it go. She has never been brilliant at making big decisions in her lifetime so the fact that she made this one was truly a big important moment in her life. She demonstrated her strength and I greatly respect that. With a final “ok” and a final deep breath, I got out the car and walked home.

Being alone in an empty house in the middle of nowhere without anything or anyone to talk to is lonely enough. But to have this situation added on top of it was awful. I can’t count how many hours I sat in the bath (or lied down on the tiled floor), how many hours I looked at old photos and how many hours I sat contemplating talking to her. Every minute of every hour of every day you are wondering “is she thinking about me?” “does she feel the same way?” and every minute you are praying for that phone call or knock on the door to say “yeah this was a mistake, please, let us fix it”. Realism was never my strong suit, always been a benevolent dreamer. I must admit, moments of weakness overpowered my mind and I did send messages. “Are you sure this is what you want?”. Things like that. Every response was the same message in different words, essentially summed up as “yes, this is what I want”. May sound dramatic but literally I had 2 days of not eating. It wasn’t a good week i suppose. Every day you think of the memories you made and the memories that you want to make. I’m not ashamed to say that despite what happened, I was and still am so deeply in love with this girl that it breaks my heart every day not waking up next to her. She was my best friend, and I lost the battle for her.

A common saying during a big break up is that “always talk to friends” and to that I say this is true. But you need to pick the right friends to talk to. For that I’d like to say a huge thank you to Nev, Abby, Olivia and Philip. All 4 of them always checked up on me every so often and the simple 5-15 worded sentences always made me smile. It’s nice to be cared about. I'm sure that from reading this I come across as suicidal. I’d be lying if I said the thought didn’t cross my mind but suicide is never an option and of course thoughts were immediately erased whenever they cropped up. Not being able to properly talk to someone sucks and they say that you should always talk to someone, but it really isn’t that easy. To let your guard down and just vent to someone is a big thing and people should realise that. Maybe its my personality of not wanting to be a hassle but the idea of the person you venting too feeling obliged to check up on you because they are worried is the worst feeling in the world, and with that I apologise to those who i dumped this on. With that said, knowing that you can just phone a person and be with them the next minute is reassurance that I’m not sure what I would’ve done without.

Acting strong and non-caring is easy, it is something I have always been good at doing and it is something that she knew I was capable of doing. Sure, moments of weakness express once every while but generally speaking I pull it off easily. People commonly think or say “yeah but I can see your not” as its cliché, they probably have no idea, let's be honest. But these are the people who need to be kept closer to you. They’re the ones who make you think about the situation you are in and they are the ones who you should always vent to (Thanks Philip and Abby xo) Sometimes it’s healthy to just sit down and have a good ol cry because crying proves how important it is. Anyway, waffling...

Going to the party on new year's a week after being single was probably the hardest experience of my life, but i am glad i went. To begin with all was good, the walk was long but it was the first time I had actually properly used my legs since the event so it felt healthy to get out. But you know, for the past 3 new years its been the same; It's been spent with the best person in the world, so to suddenly have that change is dramatic. I’d like to say I’m pretty proud of how i was doing at the party, I spoke to people and generally had a good time. Then i saw her photo and it went downhill from here. She looked so beautiful with a light blue ribbon in her hair, her glossy red lipstick and her gorgeous black dress. This was the girl I had lost. I can’t remember how many times I had to step outside to just have a little cry and think about what I had lost but I managed to do it without ruining anyone elses night so go me. She looked so happy in her photos, but of course the point was raised that I looked happy in mine. Still, the doubt gnaws away at your mind like a poison working its way through your body. New years was fine; i honestly appreciate everyone for making it a decent night and having a good time. But (and i'm sure she would agree), 4 words that I constantly dread to hear; “Are you doing okay?”. Everytime someone said this my mind wanders and I regret to say I did have a little break down in front of some people in the bathroom but it's okay, someone peed in the bath so i wasn’t the worst mess in the room!). I don’t know what I thought would happen but I was driven by the idea that she would come see me or try to talk to me that night. Nothing happened and I was heartbroken all over again.

As previously stated, it’s honestly not true when people say it gets easier over time. In my experience, it got worse. Every day that passed was  another day where I lost more influence on the girl I thought I would die an old age with. In a moment of 3 am stupidness, I sent a speech about how I still love her etc etc and i’m an awful person for doing that. Im making it out that only I am affected by this; that's extremely not the case and of course she has had all the challenges to face as well. My only hope is that she is stronger than me (which is probably true as evident by the fact i was always the one who caved and messaged her). Sending this speech I imagine was the deal breaker. I went on to talk about the memories we had and how i pray to god that one day I will be able to use it in my wedding speech to demonstrate to any young couples out there that the bad moments are worth fighting through. The realistic result is probably just unnecessary pain to her. This was selfish on my part and for that I am truly sorry. More and more sleepless nights followed and it was here when I finally found my courage and told myself to just let her go. At the end of the day, I will always cherish her and adore her for the rest of my life. I will always deeply regret how it ended and forever wish the outcome was different. But this is one sided and so as a final act of love, I tried to let her go.

It is currently 2 and a half weeks after the whole ordeal and I am still praying for that phone call of “i am on the train to bournemouth, i’ll be there in 15 minutes” but this is unhealthy. I have spoken to her best friend and I thank her for her opinion on the right move as it was horrible for me to put her in that situation. I spoke to 3 of her closest friends and asked them to look after her because she does not deserve to ever be hurt and deserves the best life ahead of her. I pray that whoever she gives her heart to is deserving of it and is able to make her happy as i failed to do so. I told her to phone me if she ever needs help out of a situation because the truth is I will always be there for her, to get her out of an awkward or unsafe situation because I will always love her with all my heart. There is no doubt that she will be more successful than she thinks she will be and with that I will always be so proud of her.  I will always be questioning what I did wrong and what I should’ve done but thats life and as my motto goes, I will continue to put one foot in front of the other until the next hurdle is needed to be overcome.

I will not re-read this or edit the mistakes because this was a 2am vent from my heart and so I apologise on how dramatic it may seem, but whatever has been written is truly written with intent. No one will probably ever even read this other than myself so i guess see you in a couple of years when this comes back to bite you hard in the ass. If someone is reading this, give me my email back or get off my computer.

                                                                                                                                           (Time stamp - 14/01/2018 01:58)

Thought i’d just jot down a bit more just to document everything cause who knows, maybe being able to share an experience with someone else would help them. General progress in life has been good i suppose despite everything happening. Results are going well so far and the alcohol is vastly being consumed so thats a 1up for sure. Sure, for once im starting to feel better but it doesn’t change how shitty the whole situation is; every so often you get the awkward question of “how is your girlfriend” and you have to make that person feel like a dick when you reply with the situation but their fault for asking.

In terms of the last few weeks/month (i don’t actually remember when I wrote the previous section) we’ve been talking and its more or less certain that whenever we talk she instantly wants me to “fuck off” so to speak. At least that is how it feels. We’ve settled on the whole kinda “being friend” thing but realistically it wont work, i think she knows that as well as i do but I don’t know what her game plan is so i guess just settle for wading through! Sleep is still shitty but that would probably be due to the stress and alcohol; at least it's good for my body in a sense as apparently the only way I can get to sleep is through running at 2 am - nothing more exhilarating than having to pick up your pace due to a drunk person following you and with Dawnism for dummies, if i get caught then i clearly wasn’t fast enough! My friends are once again pretty much the only reason i haven’t clawed my head to pieces with stress although it just makes me miss them more. Oh yeah, i stopped a couple from breaking up so at least i’ve done something useful! Nothing worse than seeing people fight over petty things but of course I can’t be hypocritical because I was always like that. On the lines of hypocrisy, I really shouldn’t look at her snap chat. I can’t really speak about it in the sense that I have done it but seeing her snap chat story with other guys makes me just want to curl up and start the whole grief stage again but what can I do. Like I said, I've done it but I’ve always done it in groups, not a 1-1 basis but anyway, this is me being petty and stupid. God I’m actually whining about snap chat, this really is 2018 isn’t it... Honestly though, it changes you as a person in a way. I’ve lost a lot of perks such as my confidence (which I used to have a fair bit off in a non-i’m-a-cocky-idiot sense) yet gained some perks like being open to trying new things and wanting to meet new people. Clubbing used to be the bane of my existence and yet here I am going out 4 nights in a row just to be with friends. It’s an odd experience to say the least.

Anyways, just wanted to quickly update myself because I think documenting this experience is important. Being able to tell someone and show that you know how they are feeling is important in helping them “dig down” and overcome what is honestly one of the worst experiences to experience.

Ciao and thanks to anyone who took the time to read this :)

(Time stamp - 3/2/18 - 00:44)

[peachrings-and-bluebells]

What Are You To Me? || Part 4

Hoseok // Soulmate AU

Part 1 ... Part 2 ... Part 3

Word Count: 2,622

Warning(s): Mild language (Cursing)

Hoseok’s POV

Waiting sucked.

That didn’t mean Hoseok was going to march right up to his Soulmate and exclaim the truth for everyone to hear, but still - waiting seriously sucked. And it didn’t help that he saw you around so often. Within just the first two months after the Bump and Run, Hoseok had caught no less than ten glimpses of his Soulmate (probably on dates with that man, her Enemy). All those times, he had elected to steer clear because he was still a bit terrified of her reaction.

Two weeks later, Hoseok had discovered the truth and was blessed with even more encounters. Somehow, he always seemed to manage to catch her in a bad mood; she glared daggers at him every time. Though, thinking back on those moments, that might have been Hoseok’s fault as he sometimes looked for a second too long (who could blame him, really, when he was waiting so patiently) and would catch her eye. Way to be hella awkward, Jung Hoseok. 

And, of course, as if the world was mocking him for deciding to let his Soulmate realize the truth herself, he had to endure nearly six effing months of this torture. He just couldn’t bring himself to upset her in any way, and she looked so content to be with that man (her Enemy, by the way, just to be clear) that he just let her be for a while.

Really, it was probably a stupid move because it was just making Hoseok upset. Soulmates were called soulmates for a reason, and were happiest when together (and terribly destructive if angered or hurt, but now wasn’t the time to get into that). Even though Hoseok tried to spend lots of time with his friends, it was obvious to everyone that his moodiness wasn’t going to go away completely until he could be with his Soulmate.

After five and a half months, his friends (along with his sister, and even Aera) were pushing him to just confront his Soulmate and end everyone’s misery.

“Fine,” he sighed, tired of his own despair, “I promise that, by the end of the month, if she still thinks that I’m her Enemy, I’ll show her that she’s wrong.”

Your POV

You stood still, frozen by the shock seizing your body, and your mouth hung open slightly, wanting to say something but unable to form words to express the thoughts flashing through your mind at a lightning-fast pace.

“He’s… he’s your Soulmate,” you finally said weakly, vaguely gesturing to the lanky man standing nervously next to Sangin.

Perhaps you should have realized earlier...

Sangin had come back three days after your first fight more subdued and had suddenly developed a habit of worrying his lip. When you had asked him what was bothering him, Sangin had shown you his left wrist and you saw that his other tattoo had finally filled in.

“I met him at the coffee shop at the corner. I was right behind him in line and he told the cashier his name and… I know he’s my Enemy, but it’s weird - something’s weird,” he had muttered. You had watched as Sangin kept running his fingers over the newly-filled name, biting back a retort about how he was being so vague about his Enemy and how hypocritical of him it was to do so. When Sangin had just kept going on and on about being unable to figure out what was wrong despite knowing that something felt off, you couldn’t hold it in any longer.

“You’re being very vague, you know?” you had retorted. “What, is the Force telling you something’s weird about this guy you met just once? Like he’s going to pull out a lightsaber and demand a duel? You only met him once, why are you so affected?”

Sangin had groaned loudly as he raked his hands through his hair. “Can you please take me seri- Shit. Fucking hell.”

Just as you had been about to say you forgave him for his flippant responses to your dilemma months before, and that you were willing to help him with his, Sangin got up from his seat.

“Don’t. Just don’t,” he had said with a hand up to stop you from talking. “I’m a hypocrite, but that doesn’t mean I need you going on and on about it. I’m gonna go for a walk while you get that pointless rant out of your system.”

You had forced the beginnings of your tears away, but before you could tell him you weren’t going to do that at all, Sangin had already walked out the door.

Now, a week later, after days of not talking or seeing each other, Sangin was introducing you to his actual Soulmate after you had bumped into him walking down the street with his left arm wrapped comfortably around the shoulders of a man you didn’t know.

It was obvious he was acting as if the two of you were nothing more than acquaintances. How cruel… so he wasn’t even going to acknowledge you anymore even after six months of dating? And technically, there hadn’t been a break-up, but you were going to count whatever this was as one because you just wanted to leave as soon as possible. 

After a very awkward goodbye, you walked a block in the opposite direction of the new couple before sinking down to a crouch in the middle of the sidewalk, not caring if people were staring on their way past. You were more concerned about keeping quiet and not letting out the loud sobs that were trying to claw their way up your throat. The tears, however, you were too late to stop and they streamed down your face, fast and heavy.

You had really thought - you had been sure of it, in fact - that Sangin was your Soulmate. To find out that it was all wrong and, on top of that, that he was actually your Enemy… it was too much for you, especially because you had thought that argument last week was going to be the end of that strange limbo period you had been stuck in for months. Instead, everything about your relationship was forcibly forgotten, even the break-up to mark the end of it.

Whispers about the inconvenience your breakdown was causing other people reached your ears despite your distraught state. They only added to the swirling storm of thoughts in your head and you didn’t even attempt to sort them out. Soon, you became lost in your thoughts, unaware of the time passing, until a soft voice calling your name made you look up into the worried face of your Soulmate. You noticed six others (his friends, presumably) standing nearby, expressions showing varying degrees of curiosity and worry.

“Hoseok?” you whimpered as tears started spilling again from your puffy eyes. Before you could apologize for your terrible behavior, Hoseok gathered you in his arms and began rubbing your back with a gentle hand. That only made you sob into his shoulder.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” he murmured. “Shh, I’m here. Shhh…”

This man was much too kind. After months of thinking and acting like he was your Enemy, he still came to you to comfort you even though he didn’t know why you were distressed.

“I’m sorry, Hoseok. I’ve been so fucking terrible to you, and you didn’t even - how did you even put up with me? I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry…” you blubbered.

Still, he continued to reassure that everything was going to be okay. Once your breathing had evened out and you were only sniffling instead of crying, Hoseok asked you to phone a friend who could take you back to your apartment and look after you.

It wasn’t until Haneul had gotten you across the threshold to your apartment that you realized that you had no way to contact Hoseok. As if sensing your sudden realization, your friend waved a small, folded piece of paper in front of you.

“Seems like your Soulmate already knew. He gave me the paper after he introduced himself to me. What happened to Sangin? Last I heard from you, the two of you were getting over your first fight.”

You told Haneul you would explain everything another time when you weren’t so tired and you were soon left to get some rest. You only debated with yourself for less than a minute before saving Hoseok’s phone number and sending him a simple message. (You literally only sent him a “Hi”.) He responded almost immediately.

Hi~ We’ll have time to talk later, so don’t worry about that. Just take care of yourself for now and feel better. Good night, my Soulmate.

Following Hoseok’s advice, you pushed your worries away for the rest of the night and binge-watched a drama you had been wanting to watch while snacking on whatever you had in your apartment. Tomorrow, you would try to meet with Hoseok to start sorting everything out.

Three weeks later...

The invitation to dinner with Hoseok’s friends came earlier than expected.

Hoseok was picking you up after work for a much-needed evening of de-stressing and not a minute after he started driving, he said, “Oh, by the way. Jin hyung’s invited you to his apartment for dinner tomorrow. He says I’ve been willfully keeping quiet about you and that he’s intervening as the eldest so that everyone can finally meet you properly.”

Trying not to freak out, you commented, “Well, that sounds rather dramatic.”

“I watered it down. He sent a giant speech in our group chat that was easily ten times more dramatic than what I just said and used an absurd number of emojis,” Hoseok chuckled. “I should have seen it coming though, since I did make an effort to not mention you much so they wouldn’t pester you through me.”

“It’ll just be with the six of them?” you asked. “Seokjin, Yoongi, Taehyung, Jimin, Jungkook, and Namjoon, right?”

“Yeah, and Taehyung’s Soulmate Aera. So nothing crazy.” Hoseok seemed to realize that statement wasn’t quite true and you knew. You snorted quietly as he corrected himself. “I mean, nothing crazy for a first meeting. They’ll probably even try to be on their best behavior.”

Your worries were eased slightly by that, and were later pushed out of your mind while getting massages that could only be described as necessary pain that eventually brought you to paradise.

Unfortunately, while eating lunch Sunday afternoon, you were hit by the realization that judgement would be upon you in a few short hours. They were Hoseok’s closest friends, almost like brothers as he once said, and while they would accept you because you were his Soulmate, it didn’t mean they would like you. If they didn’t, then -

Your phone beeped with a message notification.

You’re worrying about tonight, aren’t you? It’ll be fine, I promise~!

Anyway Jin hyung’s forcing me to help him cook so we’ll have to go earlier. Pretty sure it’s to punish me for keeping quiet and so he can be the first to officially meet you.

Meeting Hoseok’s friends as they showed up at Jin’s apartment sounded less nerve-wracking than meeting them all at once so you responded that you were fine with the change in plans. Around five in the evening, Hoseok picked you up.

At the apartment, Hoseok opened the unlocked front door and called out for Jin who peeked out from the kitchen area. The moment you met his eyes, Jin stepped out towards you with a wide smile on his face and greeted you.

“Finally we meet! I know Hoseok had his reasons, but three weeks? Ridiculous.” Jin tucked his hands into the pocket of his pink apron and gestured to the living room with his head. “You can just chill and watch whatever while you wait for the others to show up. Or do you want to help in the kitchen?”

“I’ll help,” you answered. “Make myself useful and all that.”

Jin smiled and said, “Okay, we’re definitely keeping you around. Maybe you’ll actually be a good role model for the kids.”

“Hey, hey, I think Namjoon and I have done a decent job at raising Jungkookie,” Hoseok protested as he pulled an exaggerated pout.

“He’s a brat, and you know it,” snorted Jin.

“Hyung!” came an offended voice from the front door. “I’m not a brat!”

Jungkook appeared by your shoulder and you turned to see him, as well as Jimin, Taehyung, and Aera standing behind him. Jimin was the first to notice you. He pushed his way through his friends to get to you and introduced himself with a smile. You responded in kind. The other three also introduced themselves and Taehyung even hugged you as he chirped, “Welcome to the family!”

You watched as the four of them dashed off to the living room, loudly debating what game to play before dinner. So far, so good, you thought. Finally assured that tonight would go well, you turned to join Hoseok and Jin in the kitchen with a much lighter heart.

About an hour into cooking dinner, Namjoon and Yoongi arrived. You didn’t notice they were in the kitchen until Hoseok gently poked your side and motioned towards them. He took over watching the dish you had been focused on while you exchanged pleasantries with the two.

Dinner was served around seven. Since the table was only meant to fit six people, Jin had opted for a buffet style and everyone was eating in the living room with a random movie playing on the TV. In between generous bites of food, everyone was asking questions and trying to get to know you better.

During a lull in the conversation, you realized how much you would love to be a part of this group of friends, not just because they were your Soulmate’s friends, but also because they were good and fun people to be around. When you caught Hoseok’s eye and he smiled at you like he was saying See? What did I tell you? Everything will be fine., you happily smiled back because, considering how warm and welcoming everyone was, it was true.

You looked down at your left wrist where Hoseok’s name was and stared in awe as you saw a rainbow of colors bloom subtly around the black characters. Apparently noticing your attention focused on your Soulmate tattoo, the others looked too.

“Whoa! Your tattoo has colors!” exclaimed Taehyung.

“Yah, Hoseok, you never told us you guys had colored tattoos!” Yoongi complained. Hoseok simply shrugged and grabbed your hand. You intertwined your fingers with his, allowing your wrists to touch. Maybe it was your imagination, but your tattoo felt warm and you smiled at the feeling.

Settling yourself into a comfortable position next to Hoseok, who cuddled into you and wrapped his free arm and legs around you, you turned your attention back to the movie just as things were turning around for the better for the good guys. You joined in with some of the others when they began cheering loudly.

It took half a year (and some admittedly dumb decisions along the way) to get here, but it seemed like, from now on, things were going to be fine.

When you turned to look at Hoseok, he beamed brightly at you as if he couldn’t contain the happiness he felt seeing you with him and among his friends. You couldn’t help yourself and gave him a swift kiss on the nose. With a loud squeal that caught everyone’s attention for a few moments, your Soulmate peppered a few kisses on your cheek before cuddling you again.

Yeah, things were definitely going to be alright and you were looking forward to it all.

END

<< Hope you’ve enjoyed reading this fic ^^ By the way, let me know what you thought of the series~ I want to write more for practice so it’s always good to know! >>

[erinjdoyle]

Writing classes

If you want to be a writer it seems like you should go take a course to learn how, that’s totally a thing that you should do, right?

Ummm….

I have taken a range of writing classes and I have mixed feelings about them. On the one hand, I have met other writers and improved my craft. On the other, I have wasted hours of my life on pointless readings, listened to people who are really only out to stroke their own egos, and even been reduced to tears. So, I figured I would tell you about the classes I have taken and what I thought was good or bad about them.

 The first writing class I tried was a correspondence course where you were sent a set of readings and then had to so an assignment based on them. This course put emphasis on writing to be published, on writing to be paid, but it otherwise lacked focus. It started out talking about magazine articles, and slowly made its way through radio and short stories, and then children’s books, and novels, then screenplays, and then I just stopped bothering with it. I dropped it because I had a clear goal in my writing that wasn’t being addressed but such a broad array of topics.

It was too tightly focused on writing products instead of writing beautiful things, things which could inspire or challenge, things that were acts of self-expression. This is fine, if you want to be published no matter what and don’t care about quality or artistic merit. But I think you risk writing things that are too formulaic, with cardboard cut-out characters that no one can actually care about. It might be marketable but that doesn’t mean it’s actually good (Fifty Shades of Grey, for example).

 The second writing course was the cheapest and by far the worst. This was a night class held at a local high school. The problem with this is that anyone can teach a community education program. The guy teaching the class was a local play write of no significance, not someone in publishing or someone who had won critical acclaim, not someone who had studied writing (except for the same correspondence course I had already dropped, as it turned out). What’s the problem with him being a play write? Normally nothing but in this case, everyone in the class wanted to write novels. Writing a play is very different and his experience wasn’t suited. He explained that he had actually wanted to teach a screenwriting class and that the admin people had made him widen the scope to recruit more students- he didn’t want to teach what he was teaching and it showed.

Instead of course readings, he liked to read his own work aloud to the class and then tell us why it was effective. Listening to your teacher read their own unpublished work aloud really doesn’t count as a course reading- students don’t benefit from being told why their teacher is amazing or from seeing just one style of work. The more diverse the written material they are exposed to, the better writers they will be because they will have had many teachers. Having diverse course readings also increases the chances that each student will find something that really speaks to them, we are all different after all.

The third problem was he that was, technically speaking, an arsehole.

He explained that we were to hand in a new piece of writing every week. He said it shouldn’t be hard to do because we were all adults then he looked at me, clearly the youngest in the class, and with a less than friendly tone said: “those of us that aren’t sixteen anyway.” He had decided that I was a child and that I wouldn’t meet his expectations- even if I had been sixteen at the time (I was in my twenties) that would have been a jerk move. A person’s age may give you an idea of the issues they will talk about in their writing, but not the quality of it or how hard they are willing to work to improve, or the validity of their work.

So, we handed our first pieces in for him to read. I had written about a woman learning that the child she have given up for adoption years earlier wanted to meet her.

The following week, he started the class with a big speech about how the quality of the pieces handed in had varied but been generally disappointing, and how one was so bad that all he had written on it was “read a book” and then he laughed. Following this harsh and public criticism of an unidentified person’s piece, the work was handed back and we were each asked to read our work allowed to the class. It came to my turn, and he told everyone that mine was the terrible one that he mentioned before and that they were to pay attention to find the problems and learn what not to do. I swallowed the humiliation and read it. When I finished, he mocked my choice to say that the child in the story was only fifteen years old when she decided she wanted to meet her biological mother, because he didn’t think it was realistic. He mocked my description of the mother’s fear of the letter she received and how she didn’t open until several days after it came. This was not fun, but the thing that made it even harder to endure was that every word I had written was true- to him, it was a meaningless piece of crap scribbled out by a child he didn’t want in his class, to me it was the story of how I meet my sister. I told him it was a true story and he didn’t care. Even after he had reduced me to tears he kept going with his criticism. I gathered my things and left. Frankly, I wouldn’t be surprised if he had kept going after I was gone.

I am going to assume everyone who reads this can see why mocking a student for being young and then ruthlessly tearing their creative work apart in front of the entire class on their first try isn’t a good thing.

The other issue with his method in general was that he was telling the class what to think about pieces before they read them. It’s better to let people think for themselves first and to then guide discussion.

 The third writing course I took was at university and it was everything the other courses weren’t. It was a class in writing creative non-fiction (a nice tight focus after the first course I never finished) and it was taught by someone who had a doctorate in writing, who had publications and multiple prestigious awards under her belt. And, you know, she was nice. The experience was so good I ended up taking every course she offered.

The classes were interesting and entertaining. I remember learning that it was okay for me to use informal language, even swear words (this was a major revelation to me). Some of what she talked about seemed a little wishy-washy, but I was already a dyed in the wool scientist by that point and anything that was abstract and unsupported by numerical data was at risk of seeming that way, so she was forgiven.

We were not given firmly defined writing assignments. Each week we were given at least two pages of ideas to work with, and had to pick just one. This allowed for each person to find something that worked for them. We were also given a range of things to read. We were given a collection of short stories and poems and were recommended novels, and we could pick and choose what we wanted to read from this assortment of material. Some of it was connected to writing assignments (e.g. read this poem, then write a response to it), and others were not so closely connected but were still excellent pieces of writing that fitted on with the general topic. We were given a lot to work with so that we could find our own path within the course.

The other part of the course was a weekly workshop. We were randomly assigned to workshop groups of less than twenty people each, and we stayed with this group for the entire course. This allowed us to get to know each other and establish trust, which is important for any writing workshop. We would email everyone the piece we were going to bring to the workshop in advance so they could read it and think about it (some people don’t like reading stuff in advance but it was nice to have the opportunity). Then, we would sit in a circle and take turns reading our work aloud. Everyone would then offer constructive feedback. I’m going to say that again, CONSTRUCTIVE feedback. We would pair any criticism with a positive, e.g. “I like the way… but I’m not sure that this part…” This approach was super helpful, and I learned a lot while also making some great friends.

However, there is a potential problem with workshops. If one person is a bit in love with themselves, they can be a disruptive or negative influence. Like, people who waste everyone’s time by bringing things to share but refusing to listen to any feedback, because they have already decided their piece is perfect. Or, they start acting like the teacher, stating their opinion like it is the only right one and acting like everyone needs their permission in some way. Because of these problems, it is best of there is a teacher/leader who can guide the conversation a bit. But, the teacher may not do this well, which means you may have to find some way to insulate yourself from the disruptive person.

 Okay, so what have I learned from all of this?

1.      Choose your writing courses with care. They are not created equal.

2.      If a course isn’t helping you, quit.

3.      You learn more from a good workshop group than you do from an average teacher.

4.      Someone may have an opinion about your work, but it is up to you to decide whether or not they are right.