#Something something insert reference to Date Everything

[collision-ant]

Deltarune has done irreparable damage to my brain and the way I see objects around my house

[kk095]

Dr Jen’s Seizure

*Good evening everyone! I'd like to try something a little different tonight by utilizing one of my other recurring characters as a patient for once. Hopefully you enjoy the story!*

First year ER resident Dr Jen Zhang didn’t stand out at first glance. Petite and soft-spoken, she moved through the emergency department like a whisper rather than with a commanding presence. Her scrubs were always clean and tidy, ID badge perfectly aligned, shoes quiet against the tile floors, her shoulder length hair with bangs always neat. She was the kind of resident who apologized before asking a question, who triple-checked dosages before administering even the most routine medication, and who still looked slightly startled every time someone referred to her as “Doctor.”

Jen had grown up in a household where excellence wasn’t praised- it was the expectation. The daughter of strict, uptight parents, she had been raised in the narrow corridor between high performance and quiet obedience. Straight A’s were the baseline. Anything less was unacceptable. There was no teenage rebellion, no school dances, no late-night parties or messy breakups. At twenty-six, she had never been kissed. Never dated. Never broken the rules. She carried herself like someone who was still waiting for permission to take up space.

Despite her quiet demeanor, Jen was sharp, quick-witted, intuitive, and deeply compassionate. The attendings had noticed it early. Dr Lindsay saw it in the way Jen handled a combative trauma patient without flinching; Dr Sarah saw it in her notes, which were meticulous and thorough. She learned fast, worked hard, and rarely complained. Her hands trembled the first time she inserted a central line, but she got it done on the first try. Lindsay had told her afterward, “You’re better than you think you are”, to which Jen had blushed so deeply that even her ears turned red.

Jen idolized her seniors- watched the way Lindsay barked orders during a code, the way Nurse Heather moved with practiced efficiency, the way Nurse Nancy had an answer for everything, and the way Sarah never seemed to second-guess herself. Jen admired them all, but she carried a low-grade fear of disappointing them. Even praise made her uneasy, as though she hadn’t truly earned it.

On most nights, she stayed late. Not because anyone asked her to, but because she couldn’t bear the idea of not knowing enough or missing something. She studied protocols between patients. Replayed procedures in her head on the ride home. She didn’t go out much. Her apartment was small, quiet, and filled with color-coded flashcards and half-finished cups of herbal tea. She told herself she’d catch up on life eventually. There was time.

The emergency department was often a blend of urgency, bright lights, blood, and noise, but Jen found meaning and fulfillment in the chaos. There was something sacred in stitching a wound, intubating a crashing patient, or holding pressure on a bleeding artery. She didn’t need to be the loudest voice in the room. She just wanted to be useful, steady, and a part of something.

She was all potential. A careful, quiet light not yet fully aware of its own brilliance.

And perhaps that’s why it felt so strange the way that light would go out. Not with ceremony. Not with warning. Just like flipping a switch. As if some unseen cord had ripped, and all that promise had nowhere left to go.

There had been nothing unusual about that particular night.

Jen had been on shift since the early afternoon, tucked into her corner of the ED, reviewing labs, entering notes, following up with consults. She’d been quiet, as always- present, attentive, a reliable extension of the team. She’d asked Dr Lindsay a question about a patient with chest pain, her voice soft, almost hesitant. Later, she’d helped Heather re-stock the crash cart, checking the expiration dates with meticulous care, oblivious to the fact those meds and bits of equipment would be used on her a little while later. No one noticed anything wrong. Why would they?

She had smiled once, just briefly, when Dr Sarah tossed her a protein bar and told her to eat something, for God’s sake. It was a moment like a hundred others in a shift that felt like a hundred more. Background noise, fluorescent light, footsteps pitter-pattering, beeping monitors. A totally normal night.

Then came the scream. It hadn’t come from a patient. It came from Heather. The young nurse saw that Jen was on the ground over by the main nurse’s station, her body jerking, arms flailing, eyes open far too wide. Just like that, the night’s mundane rhythm broke.

Everyone descended onto the scene and sprung into immediate action. Jen was quickly moved to a table in trauma room two, stripped barefoot, light blue scrub pants soaked at the groin from peeing herself, her black sports bra lightly damp with sweat. She convulsed violently atop the trauma room table, muscles tensing in full tonic-clonic fury. Her limbs flailed with a raw, involuntary power- arms slamming against the side of the table, back arching with each wave of short-circuited chaos firing through her brain. At the far end of the table, her small bare feet flexed and spasmed, toes curling tight, white nail polish catching the fluorescent lights. The young resident’s size 6 feet tensed with each movement, the thin, wavy wrinkles in the soles of her feet on full display, as if every muscle fiber in her body were rebelling all at once.

Her eyes were wide. Staring. Terrifyingly present. Brows raised, forehead crinkling, her lips pale and parted around the guedel airway the team just jammed between her white teeth. Gurgling rattles escaped her throat, interspersed with harsh, gasping grunts as her body fought against itself. EKG electrodes clung to her fair skin, wires shifting with each spastic motion. Two freshly placed IV lines snaked from her arms, already running fluids and anticonvulsants at full tilt.

"Jesus..." Sarah muttered as she stepped into the room behind Dr Lindsay. "How long has she been seizing?!"

"At least five minutes since Heather found her." Nancy called out, gripping the ambu bag attached to a mask that hovered just above Jen's face, poised to take over. "Ativan already pushed. No response." Heather added.

"Push Ativan again!" Lindsay barked, eyes scanning the monitor. "Sinus tach, 130s. PVCs showing up. She's gonna crash if we don't get this under control." Dr Sarah spoke, looking over at the heart monitor. 

Jen groaned again, a pitiful, guttural sound. Her eyes never blinked.

Heather moved quickly, getting the next dose of meds ready while Nancy worked to maintain airway positioning. Sarah grabbed the laryngoscope, more by habit than decision, preparing for the inevitable, before setting the metal object on a tray beside the table. Jen's body continued to jackknife in brutal rhythm: uncontrolled, raw, and seemingly endless.

"Give her a round of IV Keppra, the seizure isn't slowing." Lindsay shook her head.

"Pushing now. No change so far." Heather pinched her lips, looking towards both Lindsay and Sarah. 

Time collapsed into a blur of motion. Jen's seizing showed no sign of slowing. Every few seconds, her back would lift violently from the table, arms trembling, fingers splayed. The heels of her bare feet beat against the padded table in erratic, scraping thuds. Toes scrunched and released, her legs twitching from overstimulated nerves.

Then, without warning, she just stopped. The resident’s body collapsed into stillness. A limp, sweat-slicked heap on the trauma room table. Nancy placed two fingers on Jen’s neck to feel her carotid. “No pulse!”

The monitor screamed: pulseless ventricular tachycardia. The jagged peaks of the arrhythmia ran across the screen.

"Start compressions! Let’s get the paddles ready!" Lindsay moved fast, already at Jen's side, snipping her black sports bra off. Heather stepped onto the stool beside the table and drove her gloved hands into Jen's sternum. The table rattled with each violent thrust. Jen's head lolled with every pump, her hair lightly damp and clinging to her temples. Her pale lips parted beneath the end of the bite block. Her chest- flat, delicate, and skinny, caved deeply under the pressure, recoiling hard, her belly rippling unnaturally with each compression. Her toes scrunched and relaxed reflexively, flashing the white polish on her nails and the fine, delicate throughout her soles.

Sarah lowered the defibrillator paddles to Jen's bare chest, gel smearing as she pressed down firmly. "Charging, 200 joules!"

The monitor beeped a ready tone.

"Shocking! Clear!!!"

Jen's body tensed and convulsed. Her heels lifted an inch off the table and slammed back down with a thud, her wrinkly soles the center of attention once again. Her arms twitched violently to the sides. Her torso arched, then slumped. Her eyes- wide open and unblinking, stared upward, blank and helpless. As the controlled electrical current passed through her, she let out a harsh, drama gasp- a reflex, not breath.

"Still v-tach! No pulse!" Nancy called out, bagging twice more. Jen's chest rose with the forced air, then fell again.

"One milligram epinephrine in." Lindsay reported, already prepping the next round.

Lindsay then moved to the head of the bed, leaning in, intubation equipment in hand now, taking the laryngoscope from a tray beside the table. The laryngoscope slid across Jen's tongue, prying her jaw open wider. The vocal cords flashed into view. The 7.0 ET tube passed smoothly through them. No gag. No resistance.

"Ok... tube’s... in! Confirming placement." Dr Lindsay thought out loud, putting the finishing touches on the intubation.  

Post-intubation, there was another shock. Another lifeless jolt. Jen’s limbs spasmed. Her toes curled tight. A single tear, unnoticed, slipped from the corner of her right eye, cutting a slow trail down her cheek.

The rhythm worsened: coarse v-fib.

"Looks like v-fib. Charging again to 300. Clear!"

The team zapped the beautiful young resident again. Jen’s petite frame convulsed violently. Her chest snapped upward and then crumpled back. Her body trembled, reacting, and then went limp. Her face, once animated and alive, had begun to fall slack. Jen’s pupils were already fixed and dilated just 6 minutes into her cardiac arrest. 

Minutes passed, each one faster than the last. More epi and amiodarone. More shocks. More compressions. The room blurred into repetition: charge, shock, pump, breathe, repeat. Her rhythm didn’t budge one bit.

"Looks like refractory v-fib..." Lindsay muttered, shaking her head. Her tone was clipped, almost mechanical.

The monitor screamed its resistance. Still no change whatsoever, practically mocking the team's efforts. 

Jen's eyes, impossibly wide, stared upward as if waiting for something that wouldn't come. Her chest sank with every forceful compression from Nurse Heather, chest thudding faintly beneath the pressure and force of the resuscitation efforts. The resident’s body trembled but never fought back. Her hands bobbed gently at her sides, perfectly in sync with the chest compressions she was receiving.

Before everyone knew it, they were twenty-five minutes into the code.

Heather was still compressing- gloved palms crashing into Jen’s sternum. Lindsay stepped closer, her expression unreadable. Without a word, she reached down and gently took Jen’s hand in her own. It was cold. Stiff. Small. Lindsay held it to her chest, looking down into Jen’s face, seeing those unblinking eyes and tear-streaked cheek.

Lindsay finally spoke, breaking the tense silence. "Heather, hold compressions, please."

The nurse nodded, then stepped away. The rhythm on the monitor didn’t change. Just the same jagged, chaotic waveforms as before.

"Nancy, let’s go ahead and disconnect the ambu bag." Continued Lindsay.

A soft click and quiet hiss followed. Jen’s chest stopped rising.

After a pause, Lindsay’s voice was firm, but low, still holding Jen’s hand close to her chest. "Time of death, 23:35."

Sarah immediately silenced the monitor without saying a word.

No one moved at first, the words still buzzing around in everyone’s heads for a bit.

Heather stepped back a little further from the table, slowly. Nancy removed the EKG wires, her latex gloves brushing Jen’s cool skin.

The resident didn’t move at all. She didn't react to anyone's touch in the slightest. 

Her small, petite frame lay motionless on the table, sweat-dampened and exposed. Dr Jen’s bruised, battered chest no longer heaved. The resident’s pale lips remained slightly parted. The faint crinkle in her brow had softened only slightly, frozen somewhere between fear and fatigue. Her eyes still stared upward, wide, lifeless, and unblinking. Nancy gently leaned in and closed them. Two fingers. One smooth pass.

The bite block was left in place, along with the detached endotracheal tube. Faint indentations marked where Jen’s teeth had clamped down on the bite block during the seizure.

Lindsay never let go of her resident protégé’s hand while the team continued postmortem care on her. Dr Sarah began filling out the toe tag, writing in absolute silence. The tag was looped around the big toe of Jen's left foot, brushing gently against the bottoms of her feet. 

Heather reached for the white sheet, folding it once before drawing it upward. She hesitated for a second as she hovered over Jen’s face. Then slowly, gently, pulled it up over her chin, her nose, her eyebrows. Jen looked impossibly small beneath the sheet. Shrunken. As if the fullness of her promise, her potential, and her presence… had simply disappeared.

No more alarms. No beeping. Just eerie silence in trauma room two. A silence that said she would not be coming back. And that somehow, the world would keep turning without the beautiful, promising resident who was taken so unexpectedly. 

In this alternate reality, Dr Jen died in the same place she had spent so many nights learning and growing - where she had studied every rhythm, memorized every protocol, followed every word from Lindsay and Sarah. The trauma bay had been her classroom and her proving ground. And in the end, it became the setting of her final moments on this earth.

Jen never got her big moment. Never found her voice. Never knew how much everyone believed in her. And now they never got to tell her.

The resident’s story ended not with triumph or transformation, but with silence - the kind that creeps in when potential slips through your fingers before you realize you were holding it at all.

All that remained was a beautiful young doctor toe tagged and under a sheet, in the very place she was meant to come into her own.

[moscatosin]

🖤 lists. mattheo riddle 🖤 oral. studying. fem!reader self insert. tongue in cheek. thank you to @nottscherry for reading this & confirming my idea was sane and @voidofsunlight for her bot that inspired the idea. mdni. raspberry vodka recommended (2.1k)

It was painstakingly obvious that Mattheo's curiosity had clearly gotten the best of him. Slipping down into a seat beside you in the back of the library, he smirked; honey tinted eyes washing over you with a trail of unspoken questions he’d stop at nothing to get answers for. Reaching out, with careful fingers, Mattheo tucked some loose hair which had fallen down in front of your face behind your ear, using the gesture as an excuse to let his fingertips linger beneath your chin and turn your head to face him.

“You know, you really should be more discreet with what you keep in your dorm..”

For a few moments, an array of impulsive thoughts and taunting images raced through your mind. When he had asked earlier in the day about borrowing a textbook you had on ancient runes for a class he wasn't all that committed to, you hadn't thought much about lending it to him. He just wanted to pass - you were nice enough to extend the offer to a friend - end of story. Right? Nope.

That little shit had taken it upon himself to snoop around your dorm as if he owned the place rather than just walking in and walking out the way you'd expected, like a thief in the middle of the night. You'd told him exactly where the book he was after was - top shelf in the bookcase beside your bed in between a stack of parchments you vaguely could refer to as homework and the novelty coffee mug of a dog he'd brought you years ago in Hogsmeade after you mentioned you thought it was cute.

Mind racing; you wondered what he'd stumbled on. Ever so surely, you began to flicker through the mental catalogue of everything you kept in your dorm. Perhaps the lucky red lace bra you always wore on first dates? The novelty candy G-string Pansy bought for your birthday last month? The handcuffs your ex had far too many ideas for? The bullet vibrator you kept in your bedside top drawer shaped like a golden snitch? No, let's be real - all these things were far too safe for someone with the last name Riddle; far too vanilla. Yet whilst you tried so desperately hard to think, your mind just couldn't quite pinpoint what he was hinting at.

“I’m sorry”, you murmured out with a raised brow, half tilting your head to the side to act partially naive and yet to also shift away from his touch. “You'll have to be more specific, Mattheo. I don't quite have the gift of legilimency like you do..”

“The list, sweetheart.”

For a moment you froze as time seemed to stop still. A single blink is what it took for your brain to kick-start back into motion after going offline oh so temporarily at his simple statement. The list. The god forsaken list. A stupid piece of parchment you'd hidden well, you initially thought, between ties and mismatched socks in your trunk which he'd had to have gone digging through to find. What a little shit –

“So you've been snooping?”, you sigh, hands raking through your hair roughly as the breath that escapes you burns raw against your lips. “Mattheo, we're friends - I trusted you to walk into my dorm, get what you needed and get out. Something that really, should not have been that difficult of a task for a wizard like yourself..”

He cuts you off by placing a finger firmly against your lips and scoots the seat he's on a few inches closer towards yours; wooden legs of the chair scraping harshly like nails on a chalkboard against the floor. With his free hand, he plucks the folded parchment out from his robe pocket and sets it out in front of you; his eyes dancing towards it, daring you to open it. You do - with shy, trembling hands; trying so, so hard to keep yourself afloat in this sudden drowning chaos you're finding yourself trapped within. It's okay, the waters only ankle deep - you can still get yourself out of this without needing to swim.

At the top of the list in handwriting which is clearly your own - that perfect cursive that has witches jealous of your quill skills, is Mattheo's name. Beneath it; listed in no particular order, a few dozen reasons girls think he'd be a decent fuck along with their signatures beside the comment. You swallow; the feeling rather uncomfortable and intense which hurts your throat as you listen to him begin to read it.

“Would definitely let me call him Daddy - A. Greengrass. Has 99 problems but that cock sure ain't one - L. Brown. Hands that could choke me into place with ease - H. Abbott. Are you girls bloody mental? Who writes shit like this?”

Would you answer him? Eh… The whole idea of lists had started out as a joke a few weeks ago at a party. Sober thoughts meeting drunken confidence when you'd suggested a list be written about all the boys you knew. Not necessarily sexual in nature but at least suggestive to some degree Somehow, rather unexpectedly; someone brought up Mattheo's name in conversation after commenting on how damn good he looked wearing all black, sipping on firewhiskey like it was nobodies business and bang - the ‘I would fuck him’ list was born.

“Riddle, it was just a little harmless fun. Like you can honestly tell me that you and your mates don't talk about or rank girls you'd like to hook up with or date or –.”

“Your name’s not on it.”

The sound of the library fell into a deep and unexpected silence you could hear a feather drop within. Your posture straightened upright; both brows rising as the faintest shade of rosy peach colouring skimmed across your cheeks. Coughing to clear your throat, you let out a semi-soulless chuckle.

“Yeah, because we're friends and I don't exactly see you in that way Mattheo.”

“But what would you write?”

“Nothing”, you confirmed with a confused stare at him, “We're friends.”

“But if you had to..”

Oh, he was getting desperate for an answer. How interesting. Had the names and comments already listed not been enough to stroke his rather expansive ego. You glance at the list before looking back at him; licking your tongue over your bottom lip to buy a little time to further think.

“You're not being serious?”

“Dead right I am.”

“Matt - almost three quarters of the bloody castle have signed a parchment that declares they'd willingly want to fuck you, and you're caught up on the fact that I, one of your best friends, hasn't signed it?”

The puppy dog look he shot you without warning made it feel like you'd just kicked him. You were well aware that there'd be only one way to suffice him, so picking up your quill you scribbled the first thing that came to mind and signed the bottom of the list. Mattheo had shifted to be staring over your shoulder intently as you scribbled away neatly; the gasp that from deep within his chest sounding like he may or may not have just experienced a minor heart attack.

“Might know how to use that tongue? Might? What the fuck? You think I'd suck at eating a girl out? Are you insane? I'm the best—.”

“Mattheo, seriously - shut up! We're in a library and I'm trying to study and yeah, as a matter of fact, you seem like a guy who wouldn't want to get messy and doesn't have the patience to go down on a girl long enough to please her, so yes. Might - know - how to use that tongue. Take it or leave it.”

Your heart is racing at this point. It was a joke. This whole thing. The list, your comment, the fact the two of you were even having this conversation. He slaps a hand down hard against the desk causing your ink bottle to shake and lets out a gruff sounding growl making your thighs tremble and quake. No. No. No…

“You're a wicked little witch.”

The sentence comes out with a hiss and a little sprinkle of threat and before you know it, Mattheo has slid his chair back, not caring to glance around and see if the two of you have company before dropping to the floor and crawling beneath the desk. Your brain short circuits again, this time; involuntarily as you feel his hands spread your knees apart; lips pressing hot, slow kisses that burn up the inside of your thighs deliciously. God it had been so fucking long since you'd been touched.

“W-what are you doing?”

*Proving that statement of yours fucking wrong.”

His curls tickling against your skin, your hands grasped at the edge of the desk you sat at, knuckles whitening as his teeth sank in to nip sultry at your skin. Your body tensed for a split second before sinking into the seat, his lips continuing to pepper kisses up your thighs before planting a final teasing kiss over your panties against your core that had you seeing stars.

“Hell.. Mattheo - we need to sto-...”

Like he was about to listen. Honestly. Tugging your panties to one side, you felt him chuckle against your clit before pressing the softest of kisses against it; your nerves endings bursting into an electric craze. Tip of his tongue sliding neatly in between your folds, you bit a knuckle painfully between your teeth to stifle a moan and felt your body grow warm.

“Oh my god..”

The words are nothing more than an uttered whisper of submission as Mattheo's tongue flickered teasingly over your entrance, slipping in shallow to torment you as his hands wrap around your thighs in an attempt at keeping you still. Your head tilts back; eyes clamped shut, your own hands tearing your skirt up to find his curls and knot through them, keeping Mattheo's head and mouth exactly where you need it.

“Mhmm.. you taste so fucking good.”

Compliments? Ugh. Your toes curl as his tongue continues to slide between your wet folds, sucking at your clit before diving back into you again. Your hips rock to help fuck yourself against his tongue to which he doesn't object to; devouring you like a feral animal who hasn't had a feed in weeks. You can feel your thighs becoming wet; your arousal evident as it paints his chin, the seat, your legs slick. You try to control it; the coil of heat burning in the pit of your stomach but when he shakes his head, tongue flickering over every inch of you on offer, your mind loses it.

Clamping your thighs tightly around him, Mattheo continues to let his tongue work magic; sucking at your folds before one final hit at your clit that has you not only seeing stars but almost seeing the whites and sparkle of what you can only guess are the pearly gates of heaven. Breathing heavily, you feel your legs lose tension as you unknown your fingers from his curls; face flushed and body quivering as you struggle to regain your breath.

“Holy fuck that was -..”

“Amazing?”, Mattheo asks, picking himself up off the floor to take the seat beside you again.

You blush a little harder; struggling to pick up your quill, yet you manage to, crossing out on the list what you wrote to reconfirm what you'd doubted. Mattheo's gaze turns from hungry to soft as you correct your admittance.

A tongue that belongs to me.

He can't help but gloat; chest puffed out, chin still glistening as he smirks your way. Leaning across, Mattheo presses a kiss to your temple, slinking an arm around your shoulders almost possessively.

“I'll admit baby girl, I'm kind of impressed I was able to change your mind so quickly. Tell me though - are there other lists or am I the only boy oh so fortunate?”

“Oh”, you chuckle, shifting your tie around your neck to adjust it for some breathing room, “There's another list.”

“Another?”, Mattheo spits out immediately. The way you've suggested it and he's said it, making it clear that apart from his laying on the desk in front of you, there's only one other in existence.

“Mhmm”, you mumble in confirmation.

“So who's the guy?”

Oh this is fun - he got to tease you, and now the tables have turned in your favour for you to tease him. Twirling your quill between your fingertips, you reach out to dip the tip into your ink pot and smirk.

“Theodore”, you explain with nothing more than his best friend's name.

“...and is his ‘list’ as extensive as mine?”

“Oh it's longer..”, you giggle, trying to focus back on your studies, “..and before you ask, yeah - I've signed it.”

[coldfanbou]

Be Sure Of It

Here we are with Eunha. In the end, I kept it as only her because I had this idea. Honestly, though, I may use the building mentioned for some other smuts. It would be pretty easy to insert other idols there and just have a universe around it. Also, it was a little tricky to write this because I had to think about whether to refer to Eunha using the stage name versus her real name.

Length 3.2K

Eunha X Mreader

You waited nervously at the restaurant, tapping your fingers on the table as you waited for your date's arrival. You peered out the large windows, hoping to spot her; her profile was on your phone, so you didn’t mistake someone else for her. Then, you saw her across the street, her bag slung over her shoulder as she hurried towards you. Relief washed over you as you recognized her, and she noticed you, too, waving with a bright smile. She walked around the corner, stepped inside, and headed straight toward you. “Hi! I’m Eunbi; sorry for keeping you waiting!” She exclaimed, slightly out of breath, as she sat down and reached over the table to shake your hand.

“It’s nice to meet you too. I was a little worried you wouldn’t show up,” you admit, feeling a mix of relief and nervousness. Your heart was pounding, and you couldn't help but wonder if she felt the same way.

“I’d never no-show a date. It’s hard enough to get one with my job.” 

You nod your head, trying to remember what her job was. “It was as a-”

“A health girl,” Eunbi interrupts, “I’m glad you remember,”

“Yeah, I tried to remember everything you had on your profile. I must have gone over it a hundred times before today.” You feel immediate embarrassment as those words leave your mouth, and you hang your head, feeling like you just made a big mistake.

Eunbi laughs, though, “Really? Were you that interested in me?” Looking up, you see Eunbi resting her head on her hand, her cheek squished. 

“Um, yes,” You say quietly, feeling a warm flush spread across your cheeks as Eunbi's laughter fills the air. You could feel your cheeks turning red, and you were sure she could see it, too.

“Don’t be shy; that makes me pretty happy. I don’t get many matches because of my profession. Those that I do get usually only want one thing. So, what made you interested in me?

“I thought you were cute and saw all the pictures of you cosplaying. I thought it was cool.” You say shyly. 

“Ah! You looked at them?!” The excitement in her voice was evident, “Which one was your favorite?”

“I liked you as Haruko from Slam Dunk,” you reply, pulling up the picture. “I liked your smile; you looked really happy in it.”

Eunbi purses her lips, trying to hide her smile. “Thanks,” she giggles. “No one really likes those old shows anymore, but I think they’re pretty fun.” You and Eunbi spent the date discussing old shows and sharing that interest. It was enjoyable; the two of you enjoyed sharing your thoughts about which shows should be remade and which should remain classics. As your time together came to a close, you ordered an ice cream and headed out the door together. You walked around, continuing your chat until you found yourselves in the city’s central park. 

Eunbi came to a stop, sitting on a nearby bench and waiting for you to sit next to her. “Tonight has been really fun, and I want to go on another date.” She says quietly, her happy energy from earlier fading as she becomes serious. “But are you sure you are okay with dating someone like me? It’s just- I mean, a lot of guys say they’re okay with it, but they really aren’t. They try to get me to quit as soon as we’re together.” It’s clear to you this was something Eunbi had gone through multiple times; the anxiety in her voice and the fact she was staring at the ground the entire time she spoke was enough. “I-I just…”

“Eunbi, I’m okay with it.” You say, placing your hand on hers. Eunbi raises her head, turning to face you. “It must be hard on you, looking for someone, but I’m okay with you having that sort of job. I’ll never make you quit; that’s your decision.” You take a deep breath, “I’d like to take you on another date, Eunbi.”

Eunbi sniffles, and a small smile appears on her face. “Thanks for saying that, but,” she pulls her hand away and reaches into her bag, pulling out a small business card. “I think you should see me at work before you decide if you want to go on another date with me.” Eunbi pushes herself off the bench and stands up. “Anyway, thanks for tonight. I had a lot of fun. You know where to find me, " she says softly. 

You rise slowly and walk over to Eunbi with the business card still in hand. “Yes, I do. Thanks for tonight, Eunbi.” You wrap your arms around her and hug her, feeling her arms hesitantly wrap around you before cinching in. After a moment, the two of you break apart and head separate ways for the night.

That night, you looked at the card before going to bed, feeling excited about the next step. You wanted to go on another date with Eunbi, so you had to visit her first. You notice the name change on it; she didn’t use her real name. She used Eunha.

A few nights passed when you decided to visit Eunbi at her workplace.  While the place was open all day, Eunbi worked in the evenings and nights, so that’s when you had to go. It was in the red-light district. You weren’t familiar with it and wandered around, trying to find the place. Neon lights glowed from every building, painting the street with various colors. You continued past the barkers, trying to get you to walk into their establishment. You turn your head, viewing both sides so you won’t have to do another lap. Then you spotted it; it was a large building that took up an entire block. Much like the other buildings in the area, it bathed the street in bright pink neon lights. You cross the street, getting closer, when you notice the women dancing inside, inviting men to enter. They wore revealing outfits, from bunny suits and sexy maids to wedding dresses, with some just in lingerie. The ground level had them separated into their own rooms. You come to a stop, though, as you pass by a crowd; glancing at the window, you see one of the women having sex, fucking like a rabbit in heat with her breasts pressed against the glance. You pry your eyes away and look ahead, noticing she isn’t the only one. Other women in the rooms ahead were also having sex. 

You refocused yourself and continued toward the entrance, heading inside and finding a similar situation, with women in rooms, some dancing and others having sex. On occasion, there would be room blacked out, giving you the hint that some people wanted to be watched. Once down the hall, you found a board of faces—a picture of a woman and their face on it. Some were greyed out, signifying they were with a client. “You have to put money in first, sir.” You hear from behind you. Turning around, you find a staff member sharply dressed in a suit behind the counter. The man repeats himself, pointing to the bottom left of the giant screen. You notice a smaller pad was there to take payment. “If you’d like any information about the ladies before choosing, please feel free to ask me.” 

“Is Eunha here?” You ask nervously. 

The staff member looked down at something before meeting your gaze and responding matter-of-factly, “Yes, she is. She is on the top left-hand side of the board.” You nod and pay for an hour's session before returning to the larger screen and looking for Eunha. You spot her picture at the top and press it, confirming your choice after.

“Good choice, sir. Here is your room key, " the staff member says, pulling out a keycard. ���She is on the second floor; once up the stairs, go to the right side at the end of the hall, turn to the left, and she will be at the end of that hall.” The man extends his arm, showing you the staircase. You take the keycard and give the man a nod before heading up the spiral staircase, finding a large lounge with a couple of men sitting idly. You glance at the other two hallways before heading to the right. You feel your heart beat faster as you make the final turn and head to the end of the hall. You stand outside the door and take a deep breath before tapping the keycard and opening it. You step inside and find Eunha waiting on the other side. She’s in a school uniform that’s been cropped and is wrinkled. The skirt, if you could call it that at this point, ended a few inches from the waist. Eunha had on a pair of crotchless panties, and you could see how slick her thighs were with her; there was cum running down her legs. On the top half of her body was an open button-up shirt that she had tied together in a loose knot, her nipples poking through the thin fabric.

“Oh! It’s you!” Eunha says with a smile on her face. “You actually came.”

You nod, “I said I would.”

Eunha chuckles, “I guess you did.” You both stand there awkwardly, unable to continue. “Please have a seat.” Eunha moved back to the kingsized bed. She throws herself on it and pats the spot next to her. After sitting beside her, Eunha places her hand on your thigh. “I guess you can see what my last customer did to me,” Eunha says, looking between her legs. “I barely had time to get the room ready again.” She sighs, looking down at the floor and kicking her feet softly. “This is what I meant; I understand if you don’t want to date me. Who would want to have a girlfriend that’s constantly getting fucked by others.” You feel the sadness begin to seep through into her voice. 

You shake your head, “Eunbi, I told you I don’t care. I knew that going into this, I’d have to be okay with you having this job. Look, I know we’ve just been on a single date, but I like you, and I want to see where this goes.”

“You mean that?” Eunha asks, her voice wavering. You nod at Eunha and place your other hand on hers. Though small, your action was enough to give Eunha some confidence in you. She sniffles before giving you a bright smile. “I guess we should get started then, right?”  

“I guess so.” Eunha presses her lips against yours, pushing you onto the bed and straddling you. You feel the passion behind the kiss, the corners of her mouth pulled into a smile. She lifts your shirt past your arms and over your head. Eunha was confident in every action. She moved down slowly, raising her ass in the air as she worked at getting your pants down, unbuckling your belt, and unbuttoning your pants. She stares you down as she bites down on the zipper tab and pulls it down. You can see a growing hunger in her eyes as she crawls over you and steals another kiss from you. You feel her hands move down your side as she tries to pull your pants off you.

You help her get them off, along with your underwear. Eunha’s hand grasps your shaft, moving up and down slowly as she meets your gaze. “You’re already nice and hard for me.” She whispers, her grip growing tighter. You see her smile grow as you moan her name. Eunha moves her other hand down, cupping your balls. “These are so big and heavy. I haven’t eaten all day. You have a lot of cum for me, right?” She gives you a pout before moving down your body and pressing her face against your cock, letting the tip rest against her forehead. She kisses the shaft and takes in your scent before wrapping her hand around it again. Eunha shuts her eyes and presses her lips against the base of your cock, inching upward toward the tip. She was moving toward more sensitive areas, and with each kiss, precum leaks from the tip of your cock.

Finally reaching the tip, Eunha opens her eyes again. She smiles at you before pushing the tip against her lips, slowly spreading them and allowing you inside her warm mouth. You feel her tongue run up and down your shaft as she rubs the head against the inside of your cheek. Her hand strokes the base of your cock, ensuring you’re getting the most out of it. She pulls back slowly, letting her saliva drip onto your cock, her tongue sticking out. 

Running her hand up and down your shaft, Eunha spreads her saliva across your cock. “This is going to be good,” she mutters, leaning down and wrapping her lips around your cock. You groan, enjoying as Eunha bobs her head, her tongue running along the underside of your shaft. You rest on your elbows, watching Eunha, noticing as she moves one hand down and fingers herself, occasionally pulling out to rub her clit. You place your hand on her head, earning you a glance from Eunha. She continued, slowly down and taking more of you in. You lean back and groan loudly as you feel yourself hit the back of her throat. 

Eunha pulls back slowly, slobber running down her chin and onto your cock. She slaps herself with it, dirtying herself further. She strokes your cock quickly as she speaks, “You’re so close; I felt your cock twitch. You can cum whenever you want; you don’t even have to warn me. I’ll be able to drink it all up.” Eunha smiles at you before making your cock disappear again. 

You struggle to hold on as her tongue lashes at the tip of your cock. Eventually, you’re forced to cum; you buck your hips upward into Eunha’s mouth and cum inside. She presses her hand against your pelvis, pushing you down as her lips form a seal around your cock, and she drinks every drop. She bobs her head slightly as you cool down from your climax. Eunha slowly comes to a halt and leaves your cock with a pop, “Ahh, that was so good,” She moans, licking her lips. 

Eunha places her hand on your cock, stroking it to get you hard again. “That must’ve felt really good for you; you came a lot.”

“It was amazing,” you groan, her grip tightening as you get hard again.

“I’m glad you enjoyed it. Now it’s time for the best part.” Eunha straddles you, rubbing your cock between her folds as she aligns you to her entrance. She reaches forward, grabbing your hands and interlacing her fingers with yours as she lowers herself onto your cock. You slip in easily, her warm and slippery walls snuggly wrapping around your cock as she rests against your pelvis. Eunha’s soft moan fills the room, and you move up her body until you meet Eunha’s gaze. She gives you a soft smile that you can’t help but return. She keeps her hands with yours as she begins to bounce on your cock, soft moans flowing from her lips. Eunha leans against you, your hand holding becoming the only thing keeping her up. You lowered your eyes, noticing the knot that kept her shirt together come loose. Your eyes became glued to Eunha’s chest, watching her tits bounce as she rode you. “Ah, hold on,” she moaned, letting you off your hands to throw off her shirt. Eunha placed her hands on your chest and began moving again, her slow movements picking up speed with time. You placed your hands on her waist, holding her as she rode you. Eunha kept her eyes shut and threw her head back, groaning as she felt your cock go deep inside her. “You’re…going to… make me cum,” Eunha said, struggling to get her words out.

“I’m going to cum too.” You grunted, your cock throbbing against her tightening walls. You begin thrusting into Eunha, going deeper as your bodies collide. “I want us to cum together,” Eunha nods her head, biting her bottom lip as she nears her climax. You both cry out as you reach your peak; Eunha slams herself down on you, impaling herself on your cock and cumming with you. You pull Eunha into a kiss as she collapses on top of you, her chest heaving as you both slowly come down. 

“That was amazing,” she says, still out of breath. Eunha unmounts you and places herself on your bicep, taking a few deep breaths before looking into your eyes as you lay there together. 

“I’ve seen you at your work now. So I can ask you out on another date, right?” After a few minutes of staring into your eyes, her face turns red. She covers it with her hands and turns her back to you. “Eunbi? What’s wrong?” You ask, trying to turn her back around.

“It’s embarrassing!” She shouts into her hands.

“What?”

“Ahh! I said all those things in front of you!” Eunbi buries her face into the mattress and kicks her feet. 

“Those things?” You ask curiously.

“Those things about your cock and balls. It’s so dirty!” You laugh at her answer, making her raise her head. “Don’t laugh! I only say those things here because people like to hear that!” She explains, her tiny fists knocking on your chest. “You’re never going to hear me repeat those things! They’re too embarrassing to say to someone I’m dating!” 

You laugh again, enjoying how embarrassed she was. “So, does that mean we’re going on another date?” Eunbi pauses her tantrum, realizing what she said. She peers up at you, and you ask again, “Eunbi, would you like to go out on another date?”

Eunbi feels a warmth in her heart as she hears your question being asked so sincerely and nods. “I’d like that; yeah, let’s go on another date,” she says softly before embracing you. You spend the rest of your time lying together. When your time runs out, and you're forced to separate, Eunbi kisses you on the cheek. “I’ll text you, okay?”

“Yeah, of course.” You respond before kissing Eunbi one more time before you go. “Have a good day at work.” She smiles and waves as you shut the door behind you. You get home sometime past midnight and lay in bed. You couldn’t sleep, though; your body was filled with energy after your night with Eunbi. You thought you would feel tired, but that wasn't the case, and just as your mind began to drift, you got a single-word message from Eunbi. 

“Breakfast?” It made you chuckle, and you agreed to meet her for breakfast in the morning. The two of you met for breakfast, chatting about old cartoons like you had on your first date. Eunbi felt content, happy to have found you, and hoping the relationship continues. The wariness of a new relationship was still on her mind, but seeing that you went further than many others had dared to, she felt a sense of comfort with you.

[archive-z]

curating reading lists (without social media)

a guide to finding stuff to read, for @divorceblogger. this is a guide specifically for avoiding things like goodreads/storygraph etc which aggregate books that are popular without being all that helpful for finding things on niche/specialist topics.

a bit of housekeeping before getting to the actual list-making tips:

i mostly read nonfiction targeted at both academic and popular audiences. i also read a mixture of classic lit, genre fiction, zines & conceptual/artists’ books, and playtexts & poetry. i read traditional print books, non-traditional print publications, PDF and ePub ebooks on an iPad/iPhone, and listen to audiobooks and audio dramas.

i have a infinite number of books i want to read. the discovery process of new & interesting outstrips my capacity to read them all, so i have to be extremely selective. this also means i never tolerate a book i’m not enjoying. it can have weak points, but i have to be getting something out of the experience, or else i am wasting my one wild n precious life, ya feel?

my goal is to read for quality, not for quantity. i tend to dislike a lot of online reading communities for their focus on metrics (number of books, page count, word count, etc). i bristle at tools that try to push my reading into this direction. i have a reading practice, in the same sense that one would have an artistic practice. thinking of my reading as a practice — rather than a project, a thing to be completed and checked off the checklist — helps orient me towards patterns of thinking that serve me better

i work in the arts industry, so fiction and non-fiction books are reference tools. when I finish reading a book, I put it back on the shelf, like returning a tool to the toolbox until it is time to use it again. i live in a bachelor flat, so obvs i have to resist the incessant pressures of consumerism, but it doesn’t bother me that i have not read every book that i own. they are there for when i get to them. similarly, i would not be bothered by owning a kitchen fire extinguisher that i have not used.

where do I keep my reading lists?

Obsidian: for organising to-read lists on specific topics, genres, eras, locations, etc. i repeat books across multiple lists where appropriate. i don’t keep a single master list of everything I want to read because it would simply be too unwieldy to manage. Small focused lists of no more than ~25 books on the topic are best, imo.

TinyCat: for cataloguing physical books that i own. i have a shortcut to the website on my phone so i can easily pull it up if i can’t remember what books in a series i already have. i can tag anything unread with my “antilibrary” tag. for my own amusement, i also insert library pockets and circulation cards into my books and stamp them with the date completed (using my beloved rotary date stamp). i can also stamp the date a friend who borrowed the book completed it. i like seeing the signatures add up over time.

Zotero: for academic bibliographic citations. useful habit to get into if you transcribe lots of quotes from yr readings into yr notes.

how do i develop my reading lists?

i usually develop my reading lists through a combination of concerted effort to research a topic & ambient browsing. this isn’t Abt How to rigorously conduct research though so im gonna focus more on ~letting books organically find me~

when i have a book that i enjoy, i see if the author has written any more books on topics that interest me. incredibly basic 101 advice but somehow people still miss this one.

check the bibliographies & acknowledgements. if something comes up in bibliography after bibliography, its usually a good sign its worth checking out. also, authors usually thank other authors in their acknowledgements, its a great way to start building an idea

i love when artists talk abt their influences in interviews, like this interview abt what influences and easter eggs there are in disco elysium (i screamed at the Einstürzende Neubauten reveal!!!). i love when fans come up with their own reading lists for media, like my list speculating what daniel molloy would have read and watched in 1973.

when i am travelling somewhere i try to read something related to the to place I am going. Wikipedia is a first easy point of reference to find out if yr destination is famous for being the birthplace of X poet or Y film is set there.

tertiary sources. secondary sources are about a primary source, whereas tertiary sources aim to provide an overview of the major debates in those secondary sources on a specific topic rather than to generate their own new ideas/arguments. the oxford university press “a very short introduction” series varies in quality but its often a very useful starting point.

recs from friends/gifts. my loved ones know i like books, and books are usually a cheap & easy gift for holidays & special occasions. i gift books that i want to read myself, so we can talk abt the book together.

what physical locations do I browse?

Local library, university library. You might be even be able to get a specialist library card to an archive or museum reading room. Some public libraries also have special collections like the Seattle Zine Library.

For-sale section in the local library. proceeds usually go to supporting the library

local secondhand bookshop. there are several in walking distance, i usually hit them up quarterly, especially as i gift a lot of secondhand books

local independent bookshops. several local independent bookstores host an annual bookstore crawl where if you get a stamp from all of them in one weekend u enter a draw to win $1000 gift card :)

thrift store/charity shop/antique markets. there is usually a section with books even if the main focus is clothes/furniture

book events. author talks, staged readings of new plays, poetry readings, book/lit mag launch parties, Writers Festivals, small/independent press fair, rare book fair, zine fests, international library day, conferences

bookshelves at house parties. im 100% the person checking out yr bookshelf at a house party. great place to get yr flirt on.

travel. basically any new place im going, i look-up in advance the local library, second hand bookstores, charity shops, antiques stores etc. and save them in my maps on my phone. if i can conveniently pop into one while im there, neat! i particularly like municipal libraries bc the big ones are usually architecturally interesting (like the Vancouver Public Library) and the small ones are usually really charming and full of specific local history, leaflets to interesting local stuff, etc.

what online locations do I browse?

navigating the online catalogue to yr local & academic libraries is a whole skill unto itself. i was very fortunate be born in the late 90s and to have a specific local librarian teach me boolean operators before i could tie my shoelaces, ride a bike, or, frankly, do most human being things (shoutout to Miss T yr a real one). your library very likely has something like a workshop or at the very least a help desk that can help u with this if needed.

mailing lists of small/independent presses.

publishers websites (academic and general audience).

wikipedia. u can look at the footnotes section on wikipedia. its free. its legal.

looking up university syllabi. some are on profs’ websites, some are available through the university library. there is also the Open Syllabus website which aggregates the most often mentioned books in submitted syllabi, organised by discipline or through a visual map.

what’s available on libby/borrowbox.

Archive dot org and google books/google scholar to read the previews and judge if the book is worth following up on.

i didn’t actually include any selections of my personal reading lists, but if you would like to know more you can always shoot me an ask with a specific topic in mind.

[lambilegs]

Imagine lee and milf!reader😩

lee x milf!reader headcanons

❤︎ note to anon: OHHHHH HOHOHOHO THE DOWNRIGHT EVIL CACKLE I INTERNALLY RELEASED AT THIS. like, I've thought of this briefly before and... so good. so good. ❤︎ contains: split up sfw and nsfw content, throat-grabbing, spanking, both reader and lee receiving oral and strap, both lee and reader playing into d/s dynamics, reader's body is referred to w the term "pussy," not proofread

it doesn't even matter that you're older, she's still trying to pay for everything. like, if you're dating lee, what comes with that is her automatically trying to take care of you, even if your savings and income are a lot more secure than hers LMFAO

but, she can't help it-- part of her does love it when you take care of her, buying her a pair of slacks she was looking at when shopping, or getting her the thickest, coziest scarf after catching her shivering the other day. it makes her feel taken care of in a way she often doesn't let herself be

she sometimes tries to intentionally prove how "grown up" she is to you... which is fucking hilarious because she's literally 28 💀 but, still, she sometimes tries to be smooth about doing things like taxes and budgeting in front of you, because she wants to prove to you that she can be an efficient partner who can provide for you and be helpful

the first time she does something like this in front of you, she's def admittedly a bit anxious, stumbling over her words as you watch over her and ask her curious questions about her insurance and shit LMAO poor baby is breaking a sweat over it

sometimes, gets insecure about if you'd prefer someone your own age, maybe someone with a bit more life experience, but you always silence her with soft kisses, quietly assuring her that she's all you want, and she's more than capable as a partner, which fills her with warm satisfaction

literally acts like a freshman who's bagged a senior (in all seriousness do not date a senior as a freshman!!!), feeling a spark of pride whenever you show up with her to office parties. I mean, the first time, she's definitely embarrassed -- not of you, but just the fact that she's bringing someone so beautiful and older than her

lays on your tits all the time. idk why this feels so right for milf!reeader, but it just does

whenever you say, "like, when I was your age," she winces because it makes her feel WAY younger than she is LMFAO

but, still, she definitely trusts you a lot due to your life experience, even if it's just by, like, 10-15 years more than her. and so, she usually will come to you for advice when it comes to work, social interactions, even her mom, sometimes -- the last of which you handle so delicately and sweetly the first time, combing her hair and gently whispering as she bites back tears

if you have kids, the older they are, the more scared she is of them LMFAO maika once mentioned this, but she said she feels like lee maybe feels a sense of ease with talking about kids, something I agree with. like, ofc, she'd be awkward and uncomfortable at first, but with time, she'd come to adjust talking to your kid, appreciating the lack of filter and just how damn cute they are. if you have a teenager, though? oh yeah she's probably shitting herself LMFAO and constantly feeling like she's forcefully inserting herself in just by existing around the two of you. she'll try her best to interact, asking questions stiffly about your teenager's classes, and trying not to get annoyed on the days they're showing attitude to you

loves watching you do your night routines, laying out in her tank top and boxer shirts, smoking to unwind, as she watches you pamper yourself at the vanity you insisted on putting in her bedroom

she'll gently joke that you do too much unnecessary stuff in your routine, lazily smiling as she strokes her fingers in your hair once you're in bed. you always scoff and lightly smack her side, playfully saying that she could use some with the worry lines work is giving her (it's very much a joke tho you're literally obsessed w how she looks)

and despite her teasing remarks, she always buys you another bottle of this or that if she spots if when out

she knows you work hard, so she tries her best to take care of you during weekends, like buying food you like and setting aside her own work to look after you with cuddles

nsfw cut:

so, you know, being older and all, you've acquired lots of experience down there, and so, you know what you like, and have picked up on lots of different kinks, fantasies and, you know, techniques

when you tell her all of your different experiences, her eyes are bulging out, clearing her throat hard from how flustered she is. but, she can't deny it -- a part of her is hot with jealousy and arousal over all the things you've done, her naturally competitive streak bolting through her, urging her on to get you in her bed and prove to you she can treat you just as well

she's a bit insecure at first, worried that her own lack of experience will pale in comparison to all that you've done, so you reassure her, over and over again, cooing about how hot you find her and how you'll always enjoy sex with her because it's her

once she feels better, though, she quietly admits to you which kinks of yours she'd like to dabble in, pointedly looking away as she does, her breaths a bit short. but, you? oh, you're ecstatic, totally ready to corrupt her

she lovessss taking care of you, and just wants to be used by you, tbh. like, when you have a bad day, she'll take her time devouring your pussy, sloppily eating and slurping it up as your body tightens and loosens in orgasm after orgasm. even if she has something to read over for work, she'll let you ride her strap, though she usually lasts about five minutes before tossing aside the file, wrapping her arms around your body, then rutting up into your pussy until you shake in orgasm

love when you take control too. like, put your hand around her neck when you ride her, tug her hair, force her face to get smothered by your pussy -- she's glad to do it all. like, the submissive in her goes strong when it comes to you. she just loves having you guide her and being at your complete disposal

and oh, if you top her? such a little mess, just quivering as you press kisses over the brown tuff of hair on her pussy before languidly toying with her clit. and when you use the strap on her, she'll be mindlessly grasping at your shoulders, kissing you hard so you can swallow down her embarrassing whimpers

you kinda love that she's inexperienced, because it feels all the better to try out all your skills and different kinks with her, and see her react to it for the first time -- eyes widening, breaths stuttering, her head tossing back as her oh-so sensitive body trembles

when she takes control for the first time, though, you're literally a puddle. there's something mind-numbingly amazing about being bent over her lap, spanked into a wet mess as she plugs her fingers into you and orders you around

[mrrecaswife]

Maybe God made me a painter, for people who aren't born yet.

(Hurt/Comfort, unspecified about what happened for the Hurt part, angst to comfort, soft and probably ooc ? Reca who is crazy but dead serious when something bothers his beloved (because people need to take those who need comfort seriously), have a 🍪 if you got the reference in the title)

Today had been a long day. It had been so long, and filled with unfortunate circumstances that you simply couldn't deal with it anymore.

When you came home, you flopped right into bed, and let tears fall freely. It had started off so well, why did it become like this?!

(Maybe your friend Chaikaew was right. Maybe you are bound to get both good and bad stuff during a day to balance it out. But, then again, she had a lot of sayings that barely made any sense whatsoever anyway.)

A ring interrupted your train of thought, and you reluctantly turned to grab your phone. What greeted you was a silly picture of your dear director (your lock screen) and a message from him, asking if you were still okay with tonight's schedule.

Shoot! You had forgotten that you planned a date tonight with the guy, and you had been looking forward to it all week!

You looked at yourself, and then back at the screen. You simply didn't have the energy for this, so you reluctantly told him that you didn't feel up to it because, well, you were too tired to do anything, and clicked send.

Now, you felt even worse.

As you layed down again, another ring interrupted you. Someone was calling. You decided to pick up, if just to make your phone shut up.

"Hello?"

The voice on the other side was unmistakable.

"I'm coming over."

"Wha- Reca, you know you don't have to-"

The line on the other side clicked dead. You tried calling him again, but to no avail.

A couple of minutes later, the eccentric man appeared on your doorstep, armed with your favourite beverage and casual wear. As you opened the door, he extended his arms and invited you in for a hug. As he closed the door, he rubbed your back, his warmth and care and obvious love showing, and the dam couldn't hold itself and broke. You sobbed in his arms as he gently shushed you, tracing circles on your back and kissing away your tears.

As you calmed down from crying and hiccuped, you looked at him.

"Do you want to talk about it?'' he asked gently.

You shook your head, ready to leave this day behind. He guided you on the couch and choose one of the many movies in his collection (that he allowed you to borrow). He selected one of your favourite comedies and inserted it in the player, before returning by your side and embracing you, encouraging you to cuddle him.

As you laid your head on his chest, you could hear his gentle heartbeat as the film started. His soft breaths and attentive rubs comforted you after this horrible, horrible day. For once, maybe everything will be fine as long as he was here.

(Yeah, maybe your data obsessed friend was right, after the storm there is always calm to be seen)

[rems-writing]

When in Rome Milan

》 Pairing: Seonghwa × gn!reader

》 Genre: smut

》 Wordcount: 500 words

》 Rating: mature

》Type: drabble

Nets: @mirohs-aurora-society @othersideoutlawsnetwork @illusionnet

Based off dat one vid of Hwa during tour. IYKYK

NSFW prompt from Illusion Net: *"My breath just made you quiver. Imagine what my tongue can do."*

It was supposed to be you teaching him a lesson. It was supposed to be you cockwarming him as punishment for what he did on stage. So how did things go south quickly? Let’s date it back to a few hours ago. 

---------------------------------------------------

“DID YOU SEE IT?!”

“SEE WHAT?!”

Your friend, who is the second biggest atiny in your friend group (you being the number one of course) shoved her phone in your face. You grumbled in annoyance as you tried to put her phone at a distance where you can still see yet your eyes won’t be even more fucked up. The annoyance soon melted away when you saw what she was referring to. 

Seonghwa’s solo performance. 

Ateez were currently in Milan, Italy and of course, the concert started off with Seonghwa’s solo performance. Since you were the biggest shinestar and also his significant other, you were used to the sluttiness of his solo performance. However, your eyes went wide and your jaw went slack when you saw a newly added element to his performance. 

Seonghwa slowly inching his hand upwards before inserting his fingers into his mouth. 

After doing that, he proceeded to do his performance like normal before proceeding with the rest of the concert. Feeling fuelled by this, you grabbed your purse and an emergency suitcase before marching out of your house and hailing a cab towards the airport. By the time you reached there, you quickly booked a flight to Milan and sat in your first class seat with anticipation. When you landed, you called an uber and gave the driver the address to the venue. Surprisingly, there was no traffic at this time so the drive was perfect. You didn’t care if you were jetlagged. 

You were going to teach your man a lesson. 

---------------------------------------------------

So much for the lesson. 

A few hours later, Seonghwa was kissing you feverishly, moving you back and forth on his cock and edging you along the way. Your original plan was to cockwarm him, edge him, and have your own fingers down his throat as part of his punishment for adding that move to his solo performance. Unfortunately, he said something that made you forget everything and caused you to be reduced to nothing more than a whimpering mess. 

“Oh, darling… Just my mere breath can make you quiver in delight. Imagine what my tongue can do to you if we had more time in our intermission.”

Seonghwa surged forward and left a quick kiss on your lips before lifting you off his lap. A whine left your lips as you felt empty. Seonghwa chuckles at the adorable sight and shoves his cock back into his pants before covering his body with that stupid leather harness he calls a top and his purple velvet jacket. He swipes your bottom lip with his thumb and smirks. 

“Meet me back in my hotel room and I’ll be sure to make you squirt on my tongue.”

You’ve never ran faster in your life. 

[mooncrestedwaters]

Rafayel Partner/BF/Husband Headcanon's

🫧Notes; Back on my bullshit

I did some headcanons for just Rafayel on his own and decided to add some on what I think he'd be like in a relationship

Should I do some smutty ones later on? 🤔

🦪 Being Rafayel's partner means you need to be his muse in tow. Get ready for sitting still for hours on end as he paints you until he's satisfied

🦪 You will invade every aspect of his thoughts, morning, noon and night and he has to practically LEASH himself to not text or call you because "Hey y/n, I saw a flower, it's your favorite!", "hey y/n, what's your thoughts on (insert random obscure topic here)?", "Hey y/n would you still love me if I were a worm?", "hey y/n, lets mix random things in a blender and drink it!"

🦪 Despite his bubbly nature and eagerness to pester you and not give you a moments rest, he is horrifically shy around you.

🦪 One miniscule touch and he's acting like he's been deprived of water for decades and you're the prettiest oasis

🦪 He'll practically rub his cheek against your hand, one hand secured tightly around your wrist to keep it in place and the other around your waist keeping you flush up against him as he begs for you to pay him an attention

🦪 "Y/NNNNNNNNN~! COME GIVE ME ATTENTION!" x1000

🦪 Play with his hair and he becomes goo, melts into you like putty and his eyes become misty with how much he enjoys it

🦪 Likes to treat you as his personal dress-up dolly, especially adorning you in any colours that match himself or the sea he loves just as much as you

🦪 He's not stupidly possessive....but he is with you and shows it in a multitude of ways;

- Buying your perfume, he knows what scents you like and for damn sure what smells best on you

- He knows your measurements and can pick out your size perfectly to flatter you

- Gives you jewelry with his colours/initial on them

- Does your make-up and hair because he wants his personal artist touch displayed on you

🦪 Sucker for matching things, will roll his eyes about it but he has a special shelf for all your matching things and has to make sure your matching mugs are used at the same time with you (or he will get pouty, like how dare you use matching mugs no. 56 without him)

🦪 His phone background is you, he puts on his socials that he's taken with your initial and a '🔒' beside it

🦪 Gods spare the poor soul who inquires or asks about you;

First, he'll be suspicious, sussing out the other party to make sure your safety is protected and then the moment he has verified the person isn't a threat the loving gushing words come out like a dam broken and he literally cannot shut the fuck up about you

🦪 Even when you first started dating he'd refer to you as his 'Wife/Husband'

🦪 Has a notes folder with everything about you, from your favorite colour to what your allergies are

🦪 God forbid he sees you cry. His first priority is to comfort and coddle you in his arms, tightly squeezing you in his arms and brushing you hair with his fingers

If he finds out the reason why you're upset is because of someones actions towards you then that person will hear about it and be paid a special visit

🦪 Best at massages and more than happy to give them

🦪 Part of the pretty hands club, art creating art fr

🦪 In public spaces he needs to have some form of skinship or to be as close to y/n as possible (he will pout and sulk if not)

🦪 Loves to paint y/n while they're asleep

🦪 Has gotten huffy and painted whatever colour was one his brush on y/n (cue play fighting of throwing paint at each other)

🦪 Hates to cook, will cook is y/n asks for it

🦪 Best partner for when y/n is sick/has that time of the month;

He knows ALL of your favorite snacks, what brand medicine/sanitary pads you use and what gifts to get you to cheer you up

🦪 Love languages is Words of Affirmation, Gift Giving and Quality Time

🦪 Favorite date nights are when he can be creative or use his hands to make something;

- Date night where you paint together

- Date nights building lego together (he calls it childish yet keeps buying the sets)

- Date night where you cook together

🦪 When you're sad, one of his ways to cheer you up is to turn on 2000s pop hits and give y/n a private show

- Backstreet Boys? Nope, Rafayel has dressed himself in all white and serenades you

- NSYNC? Nope, Rafayel put two minute noodles on his head as you cackle

- Britney Spears? Nah, it's Rafayel Bitch (You still have pictures of him in a pleated mini skirt and his short hair with two miniscule twin tails)

He takes the brunt of the embarrassment to see your face streaked with tears of joy instead of tears of grief

🦪 Banter Banter Banter, doesn't fucking stop until he gets worked up enough, grabs your cheeks with one hand and kisses you passionately

🦪 Y/N: Oh, thats cute!

Rafayel: *opens wallet*

🦪 Has shown up to your work with flowers and gifts before (Tara won't let you live it down)

🦪 Nicknames for you are;

- Princess/Prince

- My Muse

- Little Fishy

- Darling

- Pretty Baby

- Gorgeous Girl/Boy

🦪 Did a whole exhibit with paintings he made because of you and refused to sell any of them

To him, the world gets to see you but will never own a part of you

[ebonysplendor]

Pulsatio Cordis Review

TL;DR: You know when you're talking to the person you've got a crush on, and, then, you turn into a certified dumbass and say something stupid? So, imagine that, except it's not you, but your crush, and your crush isn't saying anything stupid, but everything homicidal, and it's like, oh...mkaaaaaay. Suddenly, that weird thing that you said earlier ain't that weird anymore. Talk about awkward...

Game Link: https://lucia-lily.itch.io/pulsatio-cordis

Notable Features: Gender selection, Self-Insert, Affinity system, Multiple endings Spiciness: 0/5 -- It's definitely not innocent, but as far as spiciness? There wasn't any. It was lowkey kind've sweet, though, in an overlook all the red flags and fix him sort of way LI Red Flags: 4.5/5 -- Intense shifts in emotions, stalking, obsessive, drugged us, homicidal, manipulative, kidnapped us, forged a letter, planted evidence

Wanna know more? Well, let's get into it!

Yo. How's it going?

I'm gonna be real with y'all; I really don't feel like doing an intro lmao. Sometimes, I deadass don't know what to say, and I'm at a loss as to how to start it off. I also don't push myself to make an intro either so lol. I figure if I just be honest about it, it won't seem as lazy. Is that working?

Anyways, I think I was scrolling around on...Itch.io? Actually, I think this one came from here. I think I saw, like, a picture or something... Anyways, I discovered this game, and it was pretty solid! I'll get more into it later, but just as a whole, pretty damned solid!

I feel like I should mention something, though. This review has been done for like...weeks now, but I was making a post that kind've goes along with this, and it wasn't done and still isn't, so I never posted this lmao. It was honestly a "hear me yap more" type thing, because there was an aspect of this game that was super interesting, and I couldn't help myself.

...Okay, now, I really don't know what else to say so, we're just gonna jump right in. As always, I'll tell you as much about the game as possible without spoiling the game itself. That being said, let's take advantage of my lack of yappin' and get into it.

So boom.

Let me just cut to the chase: we are down bad for this hottie at school named Liev Lavanté. Like, bro, even his last name is hot. Could you imagine having a last name like that? That was a trick question, because we've already pictured us getting married and living together and being so domestic together with the cooking and the hugs from behind and siiiiiiiiiigh~ <3

Anyways, he's absolutely perfect in every way possible. He's super smart, super popular, super charming, super attractive, super...well, super everything. I point that out, because, aside from there being a massive amount of competition, the main issue is that he is, very clearly, way out of our league, but yolo right? Right. Not to mention that the worse possible thing that could happen was us getting shut down, so...? Fuck it, we ball, and, with that ball, we shoot our shot. Basketball references, am I right? Aha....ha....okay, anyways.

Actually, let me correct that. We kind've shooted out shot (shot our shot didn't hit the same, so it was necessary to be illiterate; just overlook it lmao). In actuality, we weren't that brave about it, but it still took us well out of our comfort zone to make a cheesy ass confession letter and shove it in his locker.

So, now, we're at home, anxious aye eff, because we were extremely bold and basically told this man that we wanted to slob his knob (not really, I'm just a degenerate) in writing, and we're mentally preparing to get rejected, cry it off this weekend, and move on wi-- wait.

Holy shit, wait--!!!!!

AH--!!

FOR A DATE, THOUGH, OR...??! FREE FOR WHAT???

OH M-- ALEXA!! PLAY THAT REMIX WITH BEYONCE IN IT BECAUSE

I.

AM ON.

TO SEE.

MY HUSBAND.

I'M HAPPEH. I'M HAPPEH. TO SEE. MY HUSBAND...until we weren't lmao. Yeeeeeeeeeah, let's dial it back and remember that this is one of those visual novels. Now, let me explain the issue.

So...there are times where Liev gets reeeeeally intense.

Like, insanely so, and, I don't think you guys understand what I mean (well, of course you don't, because you haven't played it yet. Duh moment. Anyways...); he's one of those people that either feels nothing, or he feels everything...sorta. Let me keep explaining.

So, one of the first things that we did was go out to eat, and, admittedly, the staff were struggling a bit, but it's all good, ya know, because we're with bae. Like, we're talkin' and vibin'. We're learning about him, he's learning about us, and we're just chillin'. Time goes by, and the waiter eventually comes out with our main dish, as expected.

Now, that sounds like something totally normal and innocent, right?

Yeah, no...apparently it wasn't, because Liev was really pissed off about that waiter interrupting our conversation.

What makes this more off-putting is that, not only did he highkey blow up about the waiter, but he started saying some pretty dark stuff. Now, mind you! We just confessed to this man and are having our first real conversation with him, and he's coming out of the woodwork with this stuff. Like, Liev was saying that he was in love with us and how everyone could burn in hell and that he wants to hold us but also murder everyone in the room and--

Like, bro, it just kept going...but then he stops and returns to normal conversation like the conversation hadn't ever not been normal. Like, oh...m'kay ._.

Naturally, this kind've puts us off...like, a lot. Actually, this puts us off so much that we've gone into survival mode. Like, we're literally just trying to get through the date without triggering Liev and getting ourselves killed. Now, this seems like a simple enough task, but, aside from the fact that it's never that easy in games like these, it's a guessing game as to what would actually make Liev flip or not.

Like, are stuffed animals the trigger?

Is it holding his hand?

Is it when we've finally had enough and ignore him?

Like, what makes Liev go from being okay to being not okay? It's literally a matter of life or death to know these things, because Liev is not beyond confrontation.

So, it'd be best to tread lightly, or it could get really violent, really fast.

So! Not bad! Pretty damned solid game!

It definitely wasn't one of my favorites, like, story or yandere-wise, but holy hell, was it one of my favorites clinical-wise! The way that it's clearly laid out that, "No, he's not just some random psycho and a bad person; he's legitimately mentally ill and is in serious need of help" was sooooo satisfyingly done. Now, admittedly, it was a lil' obvious here and there, but it wasn't bad!

Designs of the characters were cute, we had an MC with darker skin, which is, personally, always exciting to see, and the flow of the story was done really well, in my opinion! There were times where it'd go from, like, 0 - 75, sometimes 100, without warning, but it actually made sense as to why it'd happen like that, which was fantastically implied and lowkey laid out.

Anyways, I honestly don't have too much else to say about it, except that I really enjoyed the mental health aspect of it. I loved it so much, I couldn't help but do that thing that I tend to do and diagnose Liev. Lol if you want to see me ramble more about that in depth, you can check that out...whenever I actually post it lmao; it's a work in moderate progress at the moment ^^;

To get back on track though, I recommend a casual playthrough! It's the right duration for the story that's being provided, there's multiple endings, which is always interesting, and Liev is a lil' cutie...even though, I really wish that he was at least drinking age. Something about-- well, for the sake of potential spoilers, I'll just say that I don't like that Liev was out here collecting scholarships. Like, that just gave me full ick lmao. It was my fault, though, because had I actually read the game page and not said "Ooh, he's cute and the page is in pink! <3", then I would've saw how it said big as shit that

and

Like, there was no reason for me to be shocked by mentions of him getting scholarships and shit lmao. I literally just had to read.

Okay, wait, no, stop; I got off track. ANYWAYS lol. Me recommend game. Game solid. Game make me go "Damn...that actually kind've sucks, and I feel bad...". Game might make you go "Damn...that actually kind've sucks, and I feel bad...", too. All right! Now with that finally being said, I invite you to go to the dev's page, and tell them, "Hey! You did a good job here! When's the next game dropping? I'll be first in line for it, because I want you to keep doing the thing!". I'm sure that'll make them feel all warm and fuzzy and proud.

That's pretty much it! This review was a little scattered, huh? Well, I'm sure it's all right, because I'm finally done yappin'. The link for the game is right here, and, if you wanted to see the therapist side of me and hear me yap about Liev's potential diagnosis, keep a look out for that post. It'll be posted...eventually lmao. That's honestly why it took me so long to post this rambley review, because the plan was to put them out together, but it was nearing towards the end of the month, and you already knew that I wasn't going to let an entire month go by without posting something. Better yet, I try really hard not to.

Anyways, the biggest preesh for getting this far! Please, please, please remember to drink water, don't be dumb, and hope to see you around~!

Pulsatio Cordis

[trazodone100mg]

I'm about to start reading the light novel version of The Summer Hikaru Died, and before I do I want to get a few questions and thoughts about the series and his character out of my head since it's been nagging me.

When did Hikaru die? I've been thinking about this recently. The start of the story takes place in the summer, six months after the 'real' Hikaru has already died. I'm going off of memory alone so the details are fuzzy, but I'd like to go back and reference the manga at some point to see if any dates are listed or months named. If the summer season spans late June to late September, that would mean Hikaru died in January to April, most likely in the winter, early spring at latest. If I remember right, it was rainy and cold when Yoshiki found Hikaru's body.

The 'summer' Hikaru died could be non-literal, as in Hikaru has been dead all this time, but the person Yoshiki knew didn't begin to fully disappear and be replaced in his heart until his suspicions were confirmed that day outside the convenience store. Hikaru didn't truly die until Yoshiki--the first person to find out--was allowed to properly grieve for him over the summer the story takes place. It gets philosophical from there; what is death, and what does it really mean to 'die' in a situation like this? Etc.

I would have a few questions if the story intends to take a more literal path, however, starting first and foremost with, "If Hikaru dies in the summer, does that mean Hikaru hasn't died yet?"

When we consider the title The Summer Hikaru Died, are we only considering the 'real' Hikaru?

I know the Japanese uses different characters in the spelling of the character's name to differentiate between the 'real' Hikaru and 'Hikaru', and Yoshiki does this in his head. Which spelling does the title of the series use? All genuine questions that may hold no water, but has been interesting to think about.

I also have pretty strong feelings about Hikaru's character, if you couldn't tell. And not just 'Hikaru', but the 'real' Hikaru and how his understated and very grounded characterization and emotions inform the 'Hikaru' we know. I think the author is extremely talented to be able to convey so much about him when we have been shown so little of him so far, and I think I understand him fairly well.

The most important thing to note right off the bat; I believe Yoshiki's feelings for the 'real' Hikaru were mutual. Which, I didn't at first! And Yoshiki certainly thought his feelings were completely one-sided as well. But after contemplating their characters and the dialogue, I've come to believe that their depth makes it easy to misinterpret.

I will once again insert a disclaimer that I am working on memory alone, so feel free to correct me at any point if I am mistaken, but my reasoning is as follows:

In the oneshot pilot that serves as a first draft of the series, 'Hikaru' explains when asked that he likes Yoshiki and believes his new body played a major role in influencing his feelings, since it already liked Yoshiki before he came to occupy it. As the 'real' Hikaru is dying, he regrets that he is unable to tell Yoshiki how he really feels, and asks the entity that possesses him to tell Yoshiki that he likes him, too. 'Hikaru' also mentions the curse; that the Indou's lovers are inevitably stolen away, that it has happened in the past between two men (which, on an only semi-related note, I have a ton of other questions I won't even touch here about the previous generation of Indous and Tsujinakas, and this may be entirely off-base but I can't shake the feeling there was...something similar going on between Yoshiki's emotionally distant father and Hikaru's dad, who was his best friend), and that the 'real' Hikaru saw himself reflected in that and was frightened by it.

But that was all a part of the first draft of the story, and we know not everything carried over to the story we know now. But I do believe we can still use it to gain some insight into the author's intent.

Yoshiki describes the 'real' Hikaru as mature and not oft to show big emotions. He wasn't the type to cry, but I have come to interpret his character as somewhat numbed and depressed, and the type to deflect with humor. Here's what I think did carry over; 'Hikaru' certainly likes Yoshiki (in his own, unique way), but in dialogue expresses that he's unsure if those feelings are entirely his own, and doesn't know what pieces belong to who between the two individuals known as Hikaru. The 'real' Hikaru was scared of his feelings for Yoshiki, for a few reasons. He could become a victim of the Indou family curse, he wouldn't be able to marry Yoshiki to prevent the curse befalling him given that they are both men (Hikaru's father makes it a point to tell him that the only way to stop the curse is to marry the one you love quickly), and growing up in the country, they have witnessed second-hand the consequences of not conforming in a town where everyone knows everyone's business (more than once, but specifically: "He's not sick, he's a homosexual.")

Hikaru's father was dead, he most likely felt that he needed to suppress his feelings of love for his best friend and had no way to move forward (my mind always goes back to how Hikaru, in a flashback at the start of vol. 1, turns away from Yoshiki when telling him he could probably find a girlfriend easily if he only tried), and carried the burden of performing whatever their family ritual entailed. He didn't commit suicide, but he died carelessly and only regretted that he would be leaving Yoshiki alone, as he was the only other person to truly understand how Yoshiki felt. And maybe his death was one means of protecting Yoshiki since he couldn't deny his feelings for him.

[richeeduvie]

Can someone please explain to me the whole baby thing? And dog bone au? And all these aus im so confused

DOG AND BONE!AU BASICS

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.

This is asked every five months and I'm happy to explain it each time! I'll put it in the pinned post! This is a long one so sorry yall

So Dog and Bone is the title to the AU for a self-insert x Roman Roy fic compilation. There's no actual series yet…sorry, I know! How long has it been? But these fics range from entire one-shots that center around a plot that can lead into another one-shot/drabble, with the content of said piece becoming important to the whole AU, to just cute, fluffy or smutty drabbles and blurbs. Most of them are based on requests. Your request could become a big part of Dog and Bone!

BABY

Baby is the name for the self-insert. Fics will flip from a second person to third person POV, so you'll see her referred to as 'Baby' a lot. I don't consider her an OC because there's no and will never be a physical description of her and to be honest, I only started to referred to her as Baby so I could write third person POV fics when I'm lazy and don't want to go heavy in internal monologue, which is what I do for second person POV fics. I never use 'Y/N' for her or any self-insert. But many see her as other people and not themselves and I love that too!

Personality-wise, you'll find her to Roman's soulmate. Although she is still a victim of being out-of-touch due to her wealth, she's managed to be kind and respectful and just something that Roys don't have outside of her. She's the ultimate nepo baby with Logan just giving her some vague career path at Waystar to keep her around. She mostly works in marketing and spends her days with Tom and Greg. So, the story of DAB (lol). Baby is the childhood best friend of Roman (and Shiv). In the AU, Baby's biological father was Logan's best friend and business associate. She met the Roy family when she was five and when Roman when almost seven. She was meant to be the best friend of Shiv, but Roman stole her one day when Shiv when to get more toys and baby Baby was on the swings. His sister is still pissed about this to this day.

Nothing much has been mentioned of Baby's bio dad just yet, but it was a one-time thing (so understandable is yall don't remember) that we see Logan giving Baby the medal her father gave him after his funeral. He's dead and apparently fought in a war, or maybe just liked collecting medals as much as Logan did.

So, facts about the dead dad:

Maybe was a veteran

Was hinted to have given Baby an eating disorder

Died when she was eight

Possibly kept her away from her mother

Logan's her godfather, but it was Frank to take her in after her dad had passed. Frank ON TOP!!!! PAPA FRANK!!! Baby's mother is very distant and she's really only seen her for a few holidays throughout her childhood. I've always imagined her to be those wealthy hippies feigning spirituality and did maybe try to get Baby in terms of custody, but didn't try a lot - not even after Baby's father died. So, Baby gets to stay with the Roys with Frank being her guardian. With this, it's just co-dependency and possessiveness growing.

Roman and Baby don't really have friends outside of each other. They do everything together and eventually start doing relationship sort of things together. They take each others virginities. Roman gets panicky and painful in the muscles if Baby has to leave him for more than three days. It's great, but nothing's official.

They live this way until Roman gets with Tabitha.

Now, you may be thinking 'Why does he begin a relationship with Tabitha if he's so possessive and seemingly satisfied with the situation he has with Baby?' Well, I have two fics that'll help you to explain Roman's stupidity:

Why Does Rome Still Date Tabitha (They Don’t Have Sex, but Still) Kendall Wins!AU Confession

The latter of the two is a bit more personal and truthful for Roman. It can be noted that as much as I am a GerriRoman supporter, their relationship does not happen in the DogandBone!AU. Only because one, frankly, I don't know how to or have the desire to thread it throughout the story because I already kept Tabitha's plotline…which is Roman's downfall. You will see. And two, you'll find that Roman and all of the Roys, really, have a lot of themselves changed all because they have one genuine friend that's cared and loved them since childhood so that big part of Roman's plotless plot-time in canon is gone here. Grace didn't happen as well because Jesse Armstrong said so lol.

As I said, the genuine friend line applies to all of the Roys (excluding Logan, except for his AU…), but it really applies to Kendall. Going back to the point where Baby and Roman are fourteen/fifteen and fifteen/sixteen, he gets sent away to military school. I made it so he's only there for two years to which Logan just doesn't care to send him there anymore because I want Baby and Roman teenage puppy and needy love for as much as I can get it. During this time, Kendall has this belief, this kindness to take in Baby when she's at her loneliest.

and…so…Kendall and Baby's whole thing?

The link above sums up their whole situation but I'll elaborate a bit more here because there's Tern Haven. Tern Haven happens in the OG!DogandBone!AU and KendallWins!AU, the grooming situation happens in every AU.

Of course, Roman comes back and Baby sobers up for the most part and leaves groomer Kendall's ass in the dust! It's when Roman starts dating Tabitha decades later that Kendall, who never actually made a move on Baby, brings hell and tragedy to the family. Baby's not so keen on continuing to have sex and the weird thing she has with Roman as he is with Tabitha around, so she becomes lonely and thoughtful in the need to reconnect with friends, maybe start dating herself. She's there during Tern Haven and can't go to Roman's room to hang out, Tabitha's there. She doesn't bother Shiv and Tom, she could talk with Frank, maybe? Maybe, but she makes her way to Kendall's room.

And whatever high horse Kendall put himself on for not doing anything with Baby, maybe not being in love with her - or at least having no awareness about it, whatever was starting with Naomi, it's gone when Baby enters that room.

Again, Tern Haven happens in Kendallwins!AU and the OG!AU. The only difference is that after, Roman is either successful in pulling Baby away from Kendall, or he isn't. This is where it can get confusing as it can with all the AUs because there's so many little splices of moments within content that really helps you understand how things happen but I can say that the Kendallwins!AU is just sad, scary, and dark.

But enough of that!

OG!DOGANDBONE!AU

After Roman's successful in getting Kendall away from Baby, he immediately breaks up with Tabitha and they heal from what happened. Kendall declines quickly during this. Logan dies and they get married after the GoJo sale. They have Baby Jr. On occasion, we'll have fun and write them having two more kids, Baby Jr Jr and Roman Jr, but they aren't canon - or they at least would get a canon fic like Baby

FICS TO HELP: Romulus Sneakers | Dad Frank feat. Baby Roman Call Them Brothers Back in Town Bone and Her Heart Roman’s a Friend Stealer While you were sleeping Touch Me (I'm Sick) Date Death | Part One Date Death Part 2 Babied (He Loves It) Violet, Blue, Green, Red To Keep Me Out Phone Call Home Baby Baby in “I went to Market” Baby in ‘Too Much Birthday’ After the GoJo Sale Telling Roman She's Pregnant

BABY JR

Baby Jr is an unrealistically perfect angel of a child that belongs to Roman and Baby in their AU and was born a preemie with a slew of health problems, but because I love her so much, it's becoming a running joke for her to just exist in every AU, somehow. if Baby's there, Baby Jr's there. She's named fittingly. You'll see her a lot in smaller blurbs and fics. Another running joke is that she hates Kendall in every AU, though she's barely mentioned outside of the OG! and Loganwins!AU.

JUST MY FAVORITE BABY JR FICS:

Baby Baby's First and Last Day at School Bear Baby Jr! Baby Jr Doing Something Dangerous Connor Taking Baby Jr Fishing Baby Jr seeing Baby Roman with Glasses

VARIATIONS OF THE OG!AU

They aren't mentioned a lot anymore because we don't get so serious about them and it was more just to have fun with the story, but the OG!AU does have some variations to how the plot goes. You have Baby and Roman having Baby Jr before season one where Tabitha and Tern Haven are things that obviously never happened:

If Roman Knocked Baby Up Logan Bullying Baby Jr YoungBornBabyJr!AU With Roman Forcing Baby to Marry Him Roman Drunk and Loving If Roman Knocked Baby Up in Their 20s If Baby Jr was Little in The Pilot Logan’s Baby Jr Favoritism Where’s Your Daughter?

Then, you have Baby dying and Roman killing himself to leave Baby Jr an orphan: Come Time, Baby Jr Missing Mommy.

Or you have Baby AND Baby Jr dying to leave Roman killing himself after his last moments of suffering…which, I can't find, but do we really want to read that?

If you don't want to suffer, it can end simply as a nightmare Roman had in the night. Here's another Nightmare Blurb.

LOGANWINS!AU

Listen. I CANNOT be the only person who has consistently written for Logan. I CANNOT! But I do and Baby is unfortunately the victim of a joke turned into a horniness for an old, old man.

Logan doesn't actually have a fic establishing the Loganwins!AU. Everything that's longer than a blurb are moments that already take place after they've gotten together. Tern Haven does not take place here because it appears that this…intimate relationship takes place before season one. Roman doesn't get together with Tabitha in this AU because he's really fucked up about his soulmate having sex and marriage with his…Dad. His abusive Dad. Baby Jr does exist here! This started as a joke to get people grossed out over old man Logan cock, I played it so I was DISGUSTED to appease any requests that were sent in. I really was. I don't know what happened. But a lot of what is written expands past Logan x Reader and more about the AU itself, which happens with Kendallwins! and the OG!AU too.

FICS TO HELP: THE OFFICE CONFRONTATION Mondale The Second Baseball Sick Baby Jr Mom(my) Siblings and Baby Jr Buzz off! Sister Shiv Recital Alone Baby Jr How Does The Relationship Begin? How Does Logan Propose? Are Baby and Roman Still Close? Pregnancy Announcement in the AU They Bought a Cat Who's Baby Jr's Godfather? Panty Stealer Roman's Twitter Argument

You guys are lucky I can't find the smut fic I wrote. But it's here on this blog. Somewhere.

Nvm here it is my bad: Reflections.

AFFAIR!AU

There's the Loganwins!AU, then there's the Affair!AU, which was established pretty recently. It's where Baby begins an affair with Roman while she's married to Logan and Baby Jr ends up being Roman's daughter, not his little sister. As much as I have accepted my great enjoyment in indulging the Logan lovers, I do think this is Baby at her most Succession.

She gets the benefits of being Logan's wife and his favorite wife, a cute daughter, Roman at her heel, whining for her to really be with him but knowing he'll never leave her at her denial. She's horrible, a whore. A baddie winning.

FICS TO HELP: Baby Jr being Roman's Daughter Roman and Newborn Baby Jr Baby in the Affair!AU Roman revealing she's his to his siblings "Dada" A Slight Confrontation How does it start? In Dad's Bed

GROOMING SITUATION (OG!AU and KENDALLWINS!AU)

So, I explained most of it above, but these are the fics to help understand just how messed up DogandBone!Kendall is. He's a different man, guys.

(Also Stewy was there. Stewy was her friend. A flawed twenty-something year old who didn't care enough to separate himself from Kendall when noticing the red flags of him and Baby, but he denied, denied, denied. But he also gave Baby some sense of being…ya know, a kid…cause he saw her as a CHILD)

Tern Haven:

Tern Haven EXTENDED TERN HAVEN More of Tern Haven (…Yay…)

Ken's Groomer Era:

Sleepover Drugged Up Heart Does Baby go Clubbing With Kendall? The Birthday (Big One) Kendall being Confused That Baby's Not Jealous More of Ken being Confused That Baby's Not Jealous Sleepover 2 Kendall's Birthday Gifts....

The Aftermath:

Smacktalking During Too Much Birthday Bad Bit

There's more, of course. There's always more.

KENDALLWINS!AU

After Tern Haven, Kendall has Baby. He's won Baby. He gets more addicted to drugs while making her dependent on them. He turns her into nothing - and just for him. He's scary and paranoid when it comes to Roman. A variation of the AU would be the Babydies!AU, where she accidently overdoses after he leaves her alone. It's a lot. This is not a fun AU, guys. But I like to write it!

FICS TO HELP:

Housewife Thing Waystar Press Conference Accusing Baby Jr of Not Being His Roman Trying to Get Baby Back From Kendall A Slight, Brotherly Confrontation Daily Does of Horror (Heroin) Mention of Heroin Handsy Baby and Kendall and Pills Panty Stealer Brother Roman's Dick Pics Saying Roman's Name Flower Delivery

THE OD FICS:

No Time Needled Memories

NOW....

SHIV'S AU

Shiv's AU isn't even a win!AU, technically. We haven't really dabbled in the idea of her winning. Just more of her yearning, but all in all, this woman wants Baby soooo badly. Too sad she has the guilt of being a woman. And her father. And Tom. And the denial hot on her skin.

Calling Shiv Shiv

TOM'S AU

Apparently the man can get obsessed and they haven't even kissed in his AU, yet. Fitting considering the shit he pulls with Greg. It's Baby at her most guilty due to her friendship with Shiv.

KARL'S AU

No.

STEWY'S AU

I give crumbs and only crumbs. But we're getting something started with Wedding Bells (Part One)!

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.

I hope this helps! xoxo

[ninjago-oc-appreciation]

Ninjago Oc Secret Summer 2024!

What is a Secret Summer? - It's basically a Secret Santa (A secret gift giving event) but in Summertime/Not-December instead! - For this event, you'll be secretly assigned someone to draw/write a gift for based around their oc(s) - It's very important that no one knows that you are making them a gift and vice versa, that you don't know who is making you a gift!

Are there any rules?

- Absolutely no N/S/F/W or Suggestive content is permitted for prompts, gifts, or references. This is /not/ an 18+ event.

- No direct contact with the person you're making a gift for; you can communicate through me or someone helping run the event, or ask through anon on tumblr if you can.

- No AI art/writing, Gacha edits, face claims, picrews, or bases will be permitted for oc reference submissions or gifts.

- Oc x Canon and Oc x Oc ships are 100% allowed.

- Fankids, sonas, and self inserts are also allowed; my only rule is that fankids of Lloyd x Canon ships are not permitted.

- Please respect requests regarding holiday or seasonal preferences when making a gift. Don't depict an oc participating in a holiday or seasonal activity that the creator asked not be depicted. - For the art portion, you must draw the character(s) you were assigned and they must be visible (feel free to ask for clarification).

How many ocs can be submitted total? - Three ocs can be submitted but only one is required.

What will I need for sign ups? - Refs or art that show a clear, colored depiction of your oc - OR at least two pieces of writing for said oc (does not need to be a whole fic. Could easily just be a quick blurb showing how they're written as a character) - Basic Information/Fun Facts about your character. This can be background information, relationships, likes/dislikes, age and height, personality, etc. - Suggestions or prompts for your gift giver. Stuff to help get their brain going. - Your blog name (not the name you go by but the url name. Like @/Ninjago-Oc-Appreciation, for example. Make sure it's a tumblr url, and not from any other social media).

What's the General Timeline for this event? - Sign ups will be rolling out April 14th and will remain open until the 21st. Requests can be made for small extensions if needed. - Assignments will be made sometime after the sign up forms close; posting week will begin late June (exact date to be announced with sign ups) - There will be exactly one week designated as a late period at the start of July.

How do I sign up? - In April, I'll post a google document where you can submit your ocs! There will be one for writing and one for art! - Please reach out to me after signing up in some way. This can be through messages, asks, comments, etc. In the past we've had issues with the forms, where they'd "eat' a submission, and I'd like to know when to check to make sure this doesn't happen again.

Event Tags

- We'll be using #NOSS2024, #NinjagoOcSecretSummer2024, and #SecretNinja2024 as tags for this event!

That's all! If you have any questions feel free to let me know, I tried to cover everything but I may have missed something!

Feel free to reblog this post and share with people who might be interested!

[catscidr]

I think we have all seen the "Argenti thinks the Reader is Idrila" stuff on here. But what if the reader actually is Idrila? So I wanted to request Argenti/Idrila!Reader (gn or afab reader) headcanons or a oneshot where Idrila, who has taken on a mortal identity after [Insert tragic event here], and meets Argenti. They develop feelings for each other, Argenti finds out she is Idrila, they end up dating. (Maybe or maybe not in that specific order) I thought maybe after protecting her followers from Nanook she disappeared to ensure Nanook doesn't target them anymore? That part isn't as important so feel free to add whatever backstory you think fits^^ Thank you in advance, I really like your writing!

NONNIE omg im booting up star rail rn to stare at him lovingly. also i changed the scenario a smidge so reader is her own person while also being idrila? if that makes sense......?? yeah. also bc otherwise id be writing ten thousand words n i didnt want ur ask to grow dusty in my inbox d(;∀;d) but tysm for the prompt i couldn’t stop thinking about it ueue. also hey gang peep me trying to make my blog look more coherent n nicer looking. am i doin it ⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝ cw: a smidge of amnesia and soulmate trope (it’s not that bad, trust), fluff, love at first sight (does that even count in this scenario....), argenti and reader are dancing around the topic a lot bc argenti is a gentleman and doesn’t want to pressure her to talk. blurbs to set up the plot + a fic after them hehe. not proofread, writer’s block is killing me  includes: fem reader (he refers to reader as "my lady"), argenti, natasha, luocha is kinda there wc: 2,3k

-ˋˏ You’d go to Natasha’s clinic at least once every other day because you always had the worst migraines. To the point where you almost got beat up by a Flamespawn one time when you were clearing out calyxes (thankfully there was a Silvermane guard patrolling the area, otherwise you would’ve been charred). The doctor always says the same thing; “Stop looking for fights so often”, “Let your body rest”, “I can’t prescribe you antibiotics”, and your favorite, “Stop slamming my door open I can’t do anything about your headaches”. She was a good friend, but whenever she repeated how she couldn’t be of any help to your predicament, you’d wish you could just take that glass vial hanging from her outfit and chuck it far, far away out of spite. 

-ˋˏ Obviously it wasn’t her fault- she'd done everything she could. Natasha even had you undergo the Underworld’s equivalent of an MRI scan because of how frequently you would visit her, insisting that something was wrong. The symptoms consisted of forgetting important things too often, feeling a foreign buzz in your limbs and brain, having a sudden burst of elemental energy come out of your attacks and a myriad of benign but annoying, irritating signs that something was up with you. 

-ˋˏ It became more of a chore than anything to leave your room. Some days you felt fine, but then when you’d go out again and beat up wave after wave of enemies in Caverns of Corrosion you would keel over, clutching your head while vague images of what could only be described as a fever dream ran through your mind. 

-ˋˏ You decided to leave the Underworld for some time- considering your absence like some sort of “vacation”. You heard of a wandering doctor (and merchant, apparently) by the name of Luocha and, from the people that crossed paths with him, it seemed like he was extraordinary at his job. A trek to the Xianzhou Luofu would be a long one, but after weighing your options you thought you’d give it a try (it was worth it if it meant you’d stop waking up at ungodly hours, holding your head in your hands while hoping, praying that the pain stops.) 

-ˋˏ You (somehow) made your way to the Xianzhou Luofu from Jarilo-VI. As competent as you were however, being stranded on a foreign planet with no map nor local to guide you was... a challenge. In retrospect, maybe you should’ve gotten in contact with that Luocha doctor and had him come to Belobog instead of you going to him since, well, he was a traveling merchant. Going from planet to planet is what he does (you assume). 

✧✧✧ 

If you had read up more on general information about the Luofu you would have been aware of how many enemies were roaming around the docking area. But you didn’t. So, unbeknownst to you, a rogue mara-struck soldier was on your tail, trying to sneak up to you to snag the goods you hid in your bag (which were basically just different types of painkillers and sustenance that bodes well on an upset stomach. He doesn’t know that though.) 

Your head was throbbing; ever since you set foot on the planet, your physical health had slowly dropped down to levels you wouldn’t be enduring if it wasn’t for the promise of a competent doctor once you get to the main city. Painkillers weren’t working, your feet hurt and to make matters worse, you felt the familiar lack of something in your head. It was so bad to the point where you had to have a tangible mark somewhere to remind you that you did, in fact, just take something for your headache and if you took two more painkillers, your body wouldn’t agree with your decision. It was a struggle even remembering what you did five minutes ago, no way were you going to be in top shape, beating up every enemy crossing your way. 

Clouds began covering the bright sun, casting shadows over the desolate, geometric area. You huff, irritated that, from the looks of it, you won’t be able to find a cozy place to set up camp. Though sleeping on a ground made of primarily iron and steel was considerably less nerve-wracking than sleeping on the mushy, cold, dirty ground of Jarilo-VI. So, with a pout aimed at no one in particular, you find some place that you deemed decent enough to set your humble tent. It wasn’t often that adventurers slept outside of safe zones, however with your condition you couldn’t afford to miss out on some rest and possibly get even more lost than you already are. 

You set your heavy backpack down, rolling your shoulders to soothe the ache in your muscles from carrying something so bulky. As you ruffle through your belongings, you open a bottled soda and take a swift gulp, sighing contentedly at the pleasant taste on your tongue. Now that you were sat and could rest your bones (until you started setting up your tent, at least), your ears were able to pick up on some not-so-distant footsteps. 

There’s no time for you to react; the mara-struck soldier that had been following you lunges at you, aiming for your bag. Your eyes widen and you open your mouth to yell, but before any sound can leave your mouth, a long, red and gold spear pierces the ground between you and the rabid man, making you yelp in surprise. You scurry as far back as you can in your current state; however, the soldier doesn’t have time to take advantage of your weakened stature. The owner of the spear lodges himself before your shaking figure and the mara-struck, yanking his spear out of the ground with impressive elegance, and summons an array of thorny vines to catch your assailant. 

It takes little to no effort for the seasoned fighter to take down the mara-struck as he swings his weapon, swiftly knocking the blunt end on the soldier’s plexus, knocking the wind out of him. A strangled scream leaves his throat as he scampers away, leaving your belongings safe with you and the strange red-haired man. He lowers his spear, careful to keep the sharp edge far from you, and turns around to face you properly. His brows raise a smidge for a split second before he composes himself and bows before you, the action short and curt.  

“It would have been a shame to lose a beauty such as yourself,” he says smoothly, straightening his back to look down at you with a warm smile. He stretches his hand out, a polite offer to help you stand up, as he continues speaking. “My name is Argenti, I belong to the Knights of Beauty. What might you be doing so far away from civilization, dear...?” he trails off, waiting for you to introduce yourself. 

You were in a state of shock, your mind still processing what had happened in such a short amount of time, that you failed to notice the lack of pain at the back of your head. As you meekly tell him your name, you hold onto his hand to help yourself up- as soon as his armored glove comes in contact with your hand something flashes in your mind; too quick to allow you to think about it too much, or to recognize what you saw for a millisecond. 

“So far away from civilization... do you know how to get to the city?” you ask as you feel a glimmer of hope spark in you. His words were refreshing, probably the best thing someone has ever said to you in the past month. He nods, reaching into his pocket to fish out a blue handkerchief embroidered with a delicate gold trim. Argenti hands it over to you and you gratefully take it, blotting the sweat and... dust off of your face. 

“I have made my way around the Luofu for long enough to show someone the way,” he says kindly. “Besides, even if I didn’t, I would still offer to accompany you through your trek. It is my duty as a Knight of Beauty, for I must uphold chivalry and distinguished manners, in the name of the Goddess guiding me.” His words resonate within you, making you beam, nodding in understanding. 

Your reaction doesn’t go unnoticed by the knight. As you hand his handkerchief back, he smiles at you and gestures to your bag. “What brings you so far from your homeworld, my lady?” Argenti asks gently, though a glimmer of doubt swirls in his sparkling, verdant eyes. The question makes you pause, a memory flashing in your mind too suddenly for you to know what it meant. Although, from what you could tell, you knew you could trust him with what troubled you somehow. 

“Ah, it’s a long story,” you start sheepishly, “I’ve been having these incredibly painful migraines recently. And sometimes I feel like my memory is fading too quickly for what would be considered normal,” you say, trailing off slightly at the end. “I’m looking for a healer, a doctor by the name of Luocha...?” 

Somehow, the doctor was currently the least of your worries. You’d never felt so refreshed before, at least not that you could remember; simply being in Argenti’s presence seemed to be enough to make your aches disappear like a starskiff smoothly gliding through a cloudless sky. 

“I’ve seen the man only a handful of times,” Argenti mutters aloud, pulling you out of your thoughts. “I can do my best to guide you to him, but if I may... you don’t seem to be injured?” the knight says, his voice trailing off into a questioning tone despite the observation. You shake your head, wondering how you should explain your predicament to the man. 

“Like I said, it’s a long story,” you say again, shrugging sheepishly. You wondered if you should even go into the nitty gritty- he could always just be making small talk to help you get comfortable or something. Sensing your unease, he changes the spotlight to him instead. 

“There’s no need to delve into details if you wish to keep them secret,” he says with a kind smile, bending down to take ahold of your hand- gently pressing a chaste kiss on the back of your hand. Red flushes your ears immediately, words caught in your throat at the sight of his hair cascading over his shoulders, a beautiful contrast from the gold and silver armor glittering in what was left of the sunlight. 

“As for myself, like I mentioned earlier, I am a Knight of Beauty. I’m on a quest to find my dear Goddess Idrila once more, for I need to pay my respects to them after they saved me from a particularly grim fate.” His words echoed in your mind, your brows knitting together as you felt what could only be described as a cold bucket of water being dunked on your head. “I-Idrila?” you parrot, your voice coming out as a choked noise. Argenti perks up, the hand that had been softly holding onto yours now holding it with a firmer grip, his other hand joining it. 

“Yes, Idrila. Have you ever heard of them? Or...” he trails off, looking deep into your eyes expectantly, almost as if he knew something you didn’t. His eyes seemed to suck you in, bringing a comfortable wave of warmth over you, making you yearn for something. 

“I...” you begin, your gaze falling down to look at your feet. As you thought long and hard about what you wanted to say, what you tried to remember, you slowly look over to his spear, lying flat on the ground- long forgotten since the fight earlier. As if a lightbulb went off above your head, you perk up just as he did, and look at him, beaming. The words were caught in your throat; there was so much you wanted to say, to declare, to do in this moment of clarity, but with how fast your mind was running to catch you up on the current events of your life it was a struggle. 

“Argenti,” you murmur, the name rolling off your tongue smoothly, as you realized seeing the traveling merchant was no longer required. Though the road might have been arduous, and you may have almost lost your mind in the process, being with Argenti suddenly made everything make sense. That’s why your migraines mysteriously disappeared as soon as you were in the knight’s presence, that’s why you had gaps in your memory, that’s why you were freakishly powerful... at convenient times.  

Everything clicked into place. 

The both of you share a pregnant pause, eyes locked together as the world seemed to come to a stop around you. If it were possible, you’re sure there would be delicate, silky rose petals floating around your figures, suspended in the air. You glance down at his lips, and for the first time, make a decision with a clear head. 

His lips felt smooth against yours, the faint taste of vanilla mixed with roses transferring to your own lips. The kiss almost felt like it could be the result of a symbiotic relationship; now that you had Argenti, or at least had him by your side once again, you didn’t think you’d be able to continue on without him. 

[coff-in]

um, this idea has been on my mind for a couple of days. i want your opinions on it. think about this:

[gender neutral] reader-insert (they are referred to as momma at one point but are otherwise referred to by they/them in the narrative), sibling graves [reader] (you can make them any age you want in this), andrew and ashley have a child in this

it's been a couple of years since andrew, ashley, and [reader] had killed their parents. the siblings are in a cute incestuous polyamorous relationship with each other. but one day, ashley misses her period and finds out she's pregnant (with andrew's child). do you think they'd have [reader] raise the child with them as a second mother or as an aunt?

i think about the baby-- after being born-- is taught by andrew and ashley that some children can have more than two parents sometimes! their child has three parents that love them very much; a daddy, a mommy, and a momma! i think about the angst that can follow as the child grows up. they tell their friends at school about their family and how they two moms and one dad and one of the friends say "why do you have two moms? that's not normal."

i can hear the kids telling the child that their dad is probably cheating on their mom, that's why they have two moms. that they don't have to listen to [reader] since they're not the kid's real mom. it stirs up conflict in the child's heart because they love [reader], they've been nothing but nice and supportive of the kid since they came from the womb, but the other kids have a point, don't they?

i can feel the insecurity in [reader] when the kid is born and as they grow up. they constantly tell andrew and ashley about how they think the kid won't like them as they grow up, or would probably disregard them since they're not their biological parent. i can see andrew and ashley reassure them that they're a wonder parent and that if their kid ever tried to talk down to [reader] or disrespect them that there would be swift corrections of that behavior.

i can see them. the kid is watching TV late at night, around 10:00pm. andrew and ashley are out of the house to go on a date night and they left [reader] in charge to watch after their kid. "tell us if anything happens," ashley would tell [reader] before giving them a kiss and walking out the door with andrew.

but [reader] can't really bring themselves to tell them of what happened when they left.

the kid really should be going to bed at this time. it's a thursday night and they have school in the morning. they ask the child to turn off the TV and go to bed. they're ignored. they ask against more sternly this time and the child asks them bluntly, "why should i?"

"why should i listen to you? you're not my mom, you're not my dad. you're just some... fucking mistress or something that my parents keep around. i don't have to listen to you! the only authority you have over me is the authority my parents let you borrow!"

the child get progressively louder as they vent and [reader] watches them, the anxiety and fear building up inside of them. they knew this would happen one day. they knew that the child would realize that they don't fit in this dynamic somehow. that they're an outsider in a perfectly fine family. they're a stranger, no matter how long they'd been raising this child along their siblings as their own.

the child can see the betrayal on [reader]'s face and they immediately regret ever saying anything. they try to apologize but before they could the [reader] chokes out, "you're right..."

...

"i'm not your mom... or your dad. but i tried to be... i tried my best to be there, for you, for them. i loved you... with everything i had, and i'll love you with everything i am... i'm sorry."

they're both silently crying now, tears falling down their face. [reader] gets that it might be hard, having an abnormal family that doesn't follow societal expectations. they get that it can cause problems, it can cause an othering for the child that they can't solve. all they can do is be there.

the child gets up from the couch and leaves towards their room, the TV playing white noise. [reader] turns it off and sits down on the couch. they usually sleep in big bed that they share with andrew and ashley but they can't bring themself to do so that night. the more they think about the bed the worse they feel. they don't belong in that bed. that's andrew and ashley's bed, in andrew and ashley's bedroom, in andrew and ashley's house. [reader] just invades their space, they taint the sheets and stain their house with their presence.

they sleep on the couch that night.

----

notes from coff-in: woah. i've seen some posts from @/incorrect-gravescest about their family AU (which is very cute, btw. i suggest you check it out when you can) and it got me thinking about a polycube(?) between the graves siblings and sibling [reader] with a child. the wholesome and weird and angsty relationship they'd have with their child (or children). it's been on my mind for a while. let me know what you think of it, i'd love to expand on it more and talk about it. also let me know if you guys like it when i share my thoughts and ideas like this. i know that i usually just answer asks/request now and don't really share my own thoughts but i'd like to do it more often. can't guarantee they'd all be good quality though :,) thank you for reading all this, too. take care!

coff-in

[flowering-darkness]

I never know what the proper date is, but around this point in May is when I first started actively selfshipping on Tumblr. I definitely knew of the concept via my friend Amaria by the 12th, and had made a selfship blog of my own before the 20th, which.. initially started as a secondary blog, but I quickly changed over to a primary blog once I started interacting with more people and realised that selfshipping had become the main thing I was actively using Tumblr for.

(The reason I always refer to it as starting to actively selfship on Tumblr is that I was sort of already selfshipping before first learning the term, and finding out it was a thing other people did online. I’ve always made self-inserts, or said I loved and/or wanted to marry some characters from a young age ‑ though only in one instance did I actively connect the two things, and give my self-insert dedicated lore that involved her getting into a relationship with a character beyond the game’s mechanics allowing such. This was Aria, my main Kingdom Hearts self-insert who I played as in KHUX ‑ which is why my selfship with Aqua is the only one where the start date I have for it is before May 2020.)

From that tentative starting point, in which I sort of came up with a new persona to act as online, it’s amazing to think that five years have now passed, and I’ve come into my own here so much more. Yet I still have close friends who I met very close to the start, whom I’ve been lucky enough to keep in touch with all throughout ‑ and I’ve made so many great friends along the way as well, and met people I still think of fondly even if we no longer share focused interests or spaces. There have been rough times, but I’ve managed to get through them, regardless of what went on. I’ve had to take many steps back from how much presence I used to hold here, and there are still many days when I wish I could maintain a busier, broader dashboard than I can now. I wish I could be more active here and answer asks more quickly, instead of leaving everything stuck in my drafts for half a year. But as a result, I’m always so grateful for those who still have an interest in what I say and do here, especially in cases where I can’t reciprocate in the way I would otherwise want to. It means a lot, and so do you.

When I first started selfshipping here, I was still at school (or, well, sixth form); I’m now about to submit my final piece of work as an undergraduate, and - if all goes well enough grades-wise - will graduate in the summer before starting a PhD program in September. Despite all that, though, I’m still here, and still selfshipping ‑ which is something I still very much enjoy doing.

I look forward to doing it more in the future, here alongside you all! ^-^