#Sry if this doesnt fully make sense
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ihaverotinmybrain · 5 months ago
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More lore shit:
So the current story I'm working on that has to do with kate tpe is a slendermansion au type story cus it has to do with thr Unknown Operator and stuff.
Just started to think about a non-slendermansion au version of kate. So here is what I got so far:
Her family canon stays the same:
Her parents died in a car crash when she was ten which leads to her being adopted by Klaudia and Todd (they have no last names ._. lol). Klaudia and Todd used to have two daughters before adopting Kate, they were Marie and Susan. Susan was the same age as Kate but she died due to an undisclosed sickness. This lead the greving couple to adopt Kate since they literally wanted to replace their dead daughter with her. Obviously didn't go well cause Kate and Susan are very different from eachother which The couple doesnt like very much. This leads to Klaudia and Todd starting to resent Kate, becoming abusive and basically do in the bare minimum to take care of her. Kate kind of becomes a care taker for Marie (their younger daughter) who was still a baby when Susan died (Marie is a bit less than 10 years younger than Kate). Kate basically gets treated like a life in nanny, but worse yk. This whole thing leads her to become rebelious towards Klaudia and Todd (Klaudia more since she is the main purpetrator). This behaviour often gets her punished. Most of the time by being locked into their small broom closet thingy were they literally starve her sometimes.
Kate runs away from their home shortly after becoming 18 since she can't take it anymore. In the Non-slendermansion version she takes Marie with her, which she didn't do in the Mansion au (Marie is 8). She travels with Marie through the country trying her best to Support both of them while the police is actively looking for her and Marie. So kate is basically being searches by police and stuff due to Kidnapping her adoptive little sister. "Supporting both of them" also involves crimes, mostly stealing yk. This is also the point when Kate becomes addicted to Smoking cause it reduces her stress.
Kate also has A biological big Brother called Mori (he was 10 years older than Kate) She has no contact with him, which is for the better, since he is working for Zalgo :3
Her journey eventually has her cross paths with Jack (as in Eyeless Jack ⚫‿⚫) who at first wants to kill her but then decides not to after noticing Marie.
Already explained some stuff about my Interpretation of Jack some Time ago so here short recap: He is similar to Ghouls from Tokyo Ghoul. Has to eat human Meat, Organs and Blood to survive, cannot digest human food after his unfortunate run in with the Chernabog Cult (hope I spelled that somewhat right if not then so be it :/)
Hes not like a bad bad person, more like bad because he has to Type Person. Some basic morals yk. But hes also aware that hes seen as a monster and that the things he needs to do to survive make him a bad person. So he views himself as bad which makes it easier for him to keep going with his current life. He basically tries to Push his humanity/his human side away, so that It's easier for him to be the "monster" that others view him as.
He has a little sister, who he had to leave behind (aswell as his family in general) after what happened with the Cult. Marie reminded him of his sister which is why he decided against killing Kate and Marie.
Kate isnt afraid of him, she is actually pretty intrigued by him in both versions (mansion and non-mansion) and she basically decides that they are a group of three now after meeting him. Jack isnt that big of a fan of this since he is usually a lone hunter (or something like that) aswell as the whole "trying to be less human thing". But Kate connects the dots pretty "easily" (that he is a murderer and the "eyeless jack". She things that he doesnt want them to tag along with him since hes a killer) and reasures him that them teaming up is fine since both of them are criminals wanted by the police.
Although I might argue that Kidnapping your sister from your abusive adoptive Family isnt as bad as being a cannibalistic serial killer. But thats just me I guess haha :3
Her Slendermansion Au Motivation of becoming a cannibal her self has to do with being manipulated by the Unknown, since he wants her to become more like Jack in that version so that she "is more usefull to him". Problem is that I havent really found a motive or explanation for her to do so in the non Mansion Au. Idk she is shipped with him but just saying "oh she eats people now cus she loves him or something" feels kinda cheap. Gotta think about Something else._.
Hope this is somewhat readable. Its like 3 Am or something like that rn and I just needed to get this out my head before I forget like half of it after sleeping haha.
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connormoving · 5 months ago
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wait i just realized i dont have to spend my money on a recreational thing if i dont want to . brooo
#IK THIS SOUNDS LIKE BACKWARDS PROGRESS and eventually i do want to buy recreational things but rn i feel bad abt buying a big recreational#thing like new clothes or something when i have basic stuff i need to get (like my own shower stuff and like a few other things that i#forgot as soon as i started writing this but they were right here a second ago) but i feel bad NOT getting a recreational thing bc then#everybody will be like awwww connor doesnt even want anything for himself 💔💔but the practical things Are for myself you know . they will#make me happy and i will get use out of them and they will help me get better . and im not saying None of it will go to something just for#fun im saying rather than getting 1 big thing that while nice will make me feel guilty i can get like. a Lot of things that i will use often#and will feel less guilty abt and some recreational things that Bc theyre less expensive and bc i have the other things i will feel less#guitly abt. + i wanna be able to buy annie and Phoebe and maybe my dad gifts but im rly bad at shopping for gifts for my dad#and also hes not a big gift guy but i still feel guilty abt it ....#sry. i just thought about that like christmas shopping charity thing i did that one time as a kid where they got irritated with me for#wanting to buy food or gifts for my family and i was like . well hold on . its my money now so i can buy what i avtually want instead of#trying to figure iut what other people want me to buy so that i appear the happiest to them#did u guys do that a lot as a kid. doing things that adults wanted you to do so that you appeared to be happy Rather than doing things that#made you happy. if this makes sense at all .or rly just in general performing happiness Even when it isnt actually fully fake like your#actual emotions arent Convincing or real enough so you have to perform them so that everybody is satisfied with you. like opening presents#and stuff even when i love a present i tend to just say oh nice :] and ive gotten better about it now but i still do like. kind of#over perform happiness because as a kid everybody would judt seem kind of disappointed by my actual reaction. it doesnt matter that i Am#happy and enjoy the gift and am telling them that it only matters that i didnt react the way that They want a happy person to react. ETC.#DID THIS HAPPEN TO YOU whatever. its not rly that big of a deal i just got on a tangent I NEED TO GO SHOWER legit stopped eriting in my#journal To go shower and then got distracted on here. okay bye :]
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princessofxianle · 4 months ago
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response to @bingqiuhateabortion 's comment [also quoted below]
sry i wrote too much (again 😅) to respond in a comment...
@bingqiuhateabortion : this might sound like nitpicking but i read 4th book a while ago and i believe feng xin didn't really believe xie lian when xl said that bwx was haunting him and he and xl's parents thought that xl was just having a fit and depressed over the current state of things (which is bwx's fault but nontheless)... hadn't he told him? Also my main point wasn't that fx wouldn't follow xie lian technically but that he wouldn't do it while aligning his wishes with xie lian's... like he would still try to percieve xl as dianxia. When xl was away for a whole month bc of the swords temple and got back fx's first reaction was to hit him. He lashed out!! That's fine he's allowed to do that but it was egoistic. He always cared, and i agree that xl is at fault too for closing off, but fx never tried to breach his fence. As you wrote it comes from hes servant's mentality - he didn't ever push (neither in jian lan's case nor in xie lian's) or tried to wrap his head around other's inner struggles.
also nah dw i dont take it as nitpicking! just discussion 😊💜
As for XL seeing BWX, yes he does tell FX, but upon my reread, FX never really gives a clear and definite indicator of belief within his responses to XL. The only scene we see that seems to even maybe imply that FX doesnt believe him is the conversation XL overhears FX having w his parents. Who, to FX, are still the King and Queen. His superiors. FX can only communicate what he does know and must trust that XL will tell him the rest when he can. Maybe this is just my personal take, but I honestly don't think FX believes OR disbelieves XL. I think its a bit of both, which makes him very internally conflicted. He is confused and scared at how XL is acting now simply bc, as we said, he doen't understand why. Something doesn't add up bc he doesnt have the full picture since XL is avoiding the topic, as we both agreed. But FX does try! And we know he tries, especially to give XL the benefit of the doubt, because even in the face of a newly ascended MQ, who is the one who first tells FX point blank about XLs theft, he entirely denies it, assuming its MQs lie or theres more to the story he doesnt know, when XL subsequently freaks out. Because thats the most plausible assumption FX can come up with, given what (he thinks) he already knows about XL through their history. And yes, like we both say, FX may not push XL, but that doesn't mean he's not trying to understand him internally, on his own, when he encounters a situation where he realizes he doesnt. But you must remember, FX is a battle, war, and combat genius, his innate strengths don't lie in emotional intelligence no matter how hard he may try to understand XL by himself.
Back to the convo w the King and Queen, im sure FX feels a sense of responsibility to prove to them that he knows how to take care of their son. I'm also sure they had a hand in appointing him as XLs bodyguard in the first place, and I think that skews his answer to them bc its oversimplified and BECAUSE he himself still doesn't have a full answer. But he wants to show the King and Queen (and himself! ...i swear this poor boy has hella self worth issues) that he's capable and still useful to them and his prince. And unfortunately, XL overhears this oversimplified, and not necessarily accurate answer (& not meant for his ears in the first place) when he's in a VERY defensive state and feels like he's alone with no one there for him and now introduced to the possibly theyre even against him. And this is what I meant abt the miscommunication between FX & XL and XL's unreliable narration. XL may feel that way (and understandably so!) but FX is still trying as best he can to find a reason (sidenote: I do headcanon FX as being unable to lie to XL too, at least fully. Thats never mentioned, but I do think it fits) And AGAIN, when XL hears this, he runs. He barely gives FX a chance to talk to him, let alone listen to what he does say immediately after. Very similar to what happens when he tells FX later to leave without ANY discussion.
As for when XL returns, FX was not right to hit him. Not at all. And it's so sad about the timing because I feel like thats the true beginning of the end for them. But I do understand why. And its not at all because it comes from an egoistic place. From FXs pov, XL has been gone without word, for over a month at this point. Jian Lan has also kicked FX out during this time. And you bet your ass I believe that was partially bc FX was running around all that time in a crazed panic trying to find XL and mitigate the King & Queen's worries abt their son. He's stressed. And we know FX shows his stress through anger, through a form of lashing out. Like swearing (most commonly) and fighting (tho usually w MQ).
However, there are 2 tiny yet INCREDIBLY important details MXTX mentions after FX clocks him. First, XL, one of the strongest martial gods to ever ascend, crumples to the ground like no more than a rotten tree trunk. Second, after throwing the punch, FX immediately freezes and looks at his fist. My interpretation? FX never expected the hit to even land, let alone knock XL entirely to the ground. It is very well known in this story how exceptional XL is at EVERYTHING: martial arts, strength, cultivation, etc. He's unparalleled. And im sure FX knows this intimately. Through watching him, sparring w him, or simply just the years he's spent by his side. FX himself may be strong (he does eventually ascend via his "martial might") but no matter how much power is behind a hit, it doesnt matter if it doesn't land. Like if XL dodges. But he doesn't. He doesnt even counter. Debatably, he doesn't even see it coming. And therefore, FX lands the hit, and HARD. And the shock he shows through looking back to his fist, the hand that just HIT Xie Lian, who he's sworn his life to keep from all harm, I think proves the hit itself was not his intention. Just his way of showing he was upset (another sidenote: i think this really shakes him. His demeanor toward XL changes too immediately after, even helping him right back up and changing to speak with softer words toward him. And I do headcanon this interaction as a core momory of his that disgusts him abt himself for awhile, if not the rest of his very long life) If he was egoistic, I doubt he'd care enough to even look for him let alone be upset enough to even have the thought to hit him. He still wasn't right to. Not at all. But it absolutely did not come from a self-centered place. It came from concern. From fear. Because he has ALWAYS cared about XL's safety, and in all that time, XL put him in a position where FX couldn't do anything to protect him let alone know what happened to him or if he was even alive.
And to your main point, that FX may follow XL in practice but not have his heart in it, (thank you for clarifying ...but) my interpretation still stands. Yes, at this point FX is used to dianxia!XL. Its the only XL he knows. My point is that FX has proven himself to want to align with XL's goals anyway, whatever they are. If im remembering right, its the Queen that, while asking XL to bring FX back, reminds him that FX isnt just his bodyguard but also his best friend. That isnt part of FXs job description. That was his own choice.
FX doesnt follow XL just because he's loyal to Taizi Dianxia. He follows XL because he's loyal to Xie Lian... who also happens to be only Taizi Dianxia...at first!
The concept that XL felt restricted by the role FX places on him is multifaceted. There is not just one reason. And thats what my post was trying to explain.
That: (these # correspond to my prev rb)
1) FX does not realize that his intention of the pedastal he places XL on may not always align with the actual resultant way XL percieves being placed on said pedastal
because...
2) XL has not communicated that to FX for FX to properly empathise or understand him, so FX can't know he should adjust this approach of "help" to XL during his banshiment struggles
because...
3) its the approach FX has always used since way back when (in Xianle and heaven) it worked, bc XL still had yet to experience failure and the change in his worldview that came with it
however...
4) XL has built this wall limiting real vulnerable communication between him and FX out of fear because for the first time in his life, he himself is terrified of this brand new feeling of unpredictable drastic changes in himself, his life, and his values, which hes still trying not to drown in. And that fear comes from not knowing how FX will react to him confessing that he cant be "perfect" anymore (given FXs habitual pedastal-ing) since its never something he had to, or ever imagined doing
so...
5) XL makes sure to build that wall of fear up higher to avoid the unpredictable (and possibly undesirable) response that may come with confessing to FX that he's uncomfortable with, and doesnt anymore fit, the old version of himself, that FX has always and currently can only see him as
and therefore...
TLDR:
6) FX will be sent away without any explanation and spend 800 years never really knowing "why" but even after all that time, when their paths cross again, FX will continue to fall back into old habits based on the limited amount of what he knows about XL, while he STILL tries to find a way to understand XL without pushing too hard. Because he doesn't even know if XL wants him back in his life.
In conclusion, and based on all this,I want to make two things clear:
1. Feng would have stayed if never told to leave, or asked to come back.
BUT
2. Xie Lian's headspace prevents him from thinking clearly in the first place and is why he drives FX off, and believes this act to be irreperable so he doesnt try to get him back
Both of these truths can mutually exist.
Feng Xin would have stayed if asked. But canon Xie Lian would have never asked. So it's not FX's lack of loyalty thats the deciding factor. It's actually XL's decision.
All of Xie Lian's and Feng Xin's actions are consistent to their characters, and absolutely & completely justified. And, to me, thats the painfully wonderful and tortuous beauty I find in their dynamic. I empathise with both of them dearly, so I know there was no possible other way this could've played out between them (tho I can dream 🤪).
Through no fault of either party, the few small holes in their relationship in combination with a situation meant to rip those holes wide open (thanks, Jun Wu) is ultimately what led to this result.
These are also holes that Hualian's relationship does NOT have. And by comparison, shows how unbreakable their bond is. There's no point of failure that could ever be exploited to rip them apart.
Unlike, unfortunately, as we see with Fenglian.
fin
edit: I had a whole section about comparing FX and HC's loyalty, but Tumblr fkn ate it, so I'm just gonna link you to this post where i say...
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'why are you being like this? when did. you become this way?' feng xin mumbled. 'i...i really don't know...i'm... why did i follow you all this time--?' 'then stop following,' xie lian said. feng xin couldn't wrap his head around that. 'what?' 'i said, don't follow me anymore,' xie lian repeated.
heaven official's blessing, pg 273
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lunatic-fandom-space · 3 years ago
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So, Im watching angels friends for the first time rn and Im on season 2 episode23 and ya boi clone!Sulfus just said smth like "damn, I gotta be careful with what I say, they cant know Im not the real Sulfus" and it made my brain go down this weird rabbit hole of like, what does he, the clone, actually think of this?? Because its not like hes just a version of Sulfus that thinks hes the Original One but modified to be more obedient, or like hes just a puppet with no free will whose every move is controlled by the villains (forgot their names sry), hes like. a guy. An actual guy who just happens to be a clone of some other guy, i guess and hes very much fully aware of that. But he has free will, he comes up w/ plans on his own, he doesnt even have a hypnotized Basilisk to keep him in line like the actual Sulfus back when he was doing all the dirty work. BUT ALSO his personality has obviously been altered bc the actual Sulfus had qualms w/ doing the shit he did and had to be blackmailed into doing most of that and also eventually hit his limit when they told him to seduce Sweet, while clone!Sulfus doesnt seem to have any issues w/ any of that and just does what they tell him to (which Sulfus definitely wouldnt do either lmao). The clone doesnt seem to have any kind of attachment to Raph or his friends or even knowledge about wth hes supposed to do, like, as a devil, which makes sense, but again, what does he think of having to do that, because he can feel but like. idk man
Im not really asking that bc I think the show will actually touch on that, Im basically just asking because I wanna know if anyone wrote a fanfic about him bc if no one did, I will absolutely do that the second I finish this series
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spearxwind · 8 years ago
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Sorry If this has already been asked/answered or if it's too spoilery of secret stuff you've got set up, but. For Adriel, what made the body he's in resurrect? Twice, at that? And why did he come in? (Love your dusty boy by the way, I've never been super into gore stuff and yet somehow you've gotten me sucked in, vore unintended)
honestly it is spoilery tbh and i havetn answered because i dont rly know how to approach it?? cause its kinda complicated (i had to make sense of this based solely on this god damn dream i had so. no easy feat)but yeah anyways
i gotta talk about mimics on this one first (kinda long sry)
mimics are relatively common monsters in this story. theyre also a pain in the ass.theyre made up of a core and a body that the core builds around itself using whatever available material it has around at the time of uh. “hatching” basically what they usually do is go up to recently deceased bodies and infect them (theyve been known to actually kill certain weak or weakened individuals for this too)
once a body is infected (by one (1) mimic only) itll discard its body and divide its core into a few more, and just. kinda gestate like that for a while until theyre ready to hatch, then they rip the victim to pieces to claim it as body making material and become several more terrible gremlins. what happens to the bodies though while this happens? they make them come back to life to sustain them. the person doesnt come back though, theyre just a puppet controlled by the mimics. so… thats why theyre called mimics
theyre usually pretty seamless but they can be detected
ANYWAYS this is what happens to uh. this guy. Ariel. 
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he dies in a freak accident and becomes infected by a mimic, effectively bringing him back to life except… its not really him anymore, hes just being replaced. but the goddamn grittiness doesnt end here no, turns out the mimic in him doesnt divide at all. cause its turning into an even worse monster, or a Greater Mimic™ for lack of a better name. It takes very long to become one of these though cause its rare
So fast forward some time. This guy who is dead and his super duper team of monster hunters are out on a mission to hunt this bigass thing. They have everything planned out, they made one fucking hell of a spell circle to get rid of the thing too, complete with illegal magic and all. But Shit Goes Nuts cause the spell thats supposed to lure monsters to it. And guess who was a monster. This guy.
He steps on the circle. The circle activates. It incinerates the fucking hell out of him. Absolutely caput.  So that would have logically been the end right? wrong
the spell was packed with way too much energy to use on such a small target so most of it didnt fully activate or use up its energy. It wasnt enough to burn the core that was inside ariel but it was enough to damage it. And so, this incomplete core has been left without a host, so its time to make a body i guess cause if not Ill Fucking Disintegrate Or Something. And whats the closest available material? Ashes. That are still magically infused with the entire god damn spell circle. Great.
And thats enough to bring adri to life apparently. He just.. happens to somehow be sentient. But yea thats how He Happens. 
Also he changes his name to adriel because its 1. an angel name and what is he if not an obnoxious narcissist and 2. it just adds a D to ariel and the D stands for “dick”
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