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deerdogs · 12 days ago

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hello transcripts from bits of lukey's meta talk/qna from 7/5/25 (chat msgs he's reading will be formatted "like this" and books 'like this')

some of this is also ambiguously between in/out of character so interpret that as you will. i transcribed the bits I thought were relevant or important, not everything.

topics covered: tr!Lukey's risk taking traits/moral ambiguity, tr!Pili and tr!Lukey against keepers, keepers as a whole and criticism on their behavior/structure, tr!Lukey in a position of power/knowledge, the null and it's bounds briefly, tr!Lukey and vulnerability, memory lane, tr!Lukey's relation to his trauma, tr!Lukey's age and time in the null

I wanna- Something I want to do is.. play into the more.. aggressive risk taking traits that tr!Lukey has. And, what I mean by that is- It's- I mean it's already like, it's already been made known that... you know, I-I bend the rules a bit, to- do what I want, right? To get what I want. Think of the entire, like, cure, right? Like, I was not supposed to be doing that research, right? I came out on top, and I came out correct, and that was like.. good. And I suppose that's the only thing that made it okay. But, the concept of... using more unorthodox methods to get what you want. i.e., enabling Pili, right? Which is a bit more of like a, a dirty play from the keeper's perspectives. But. It's, uh. At least in my eyes I think it's a bit of like a power move, right. It's "justifiable only in retrospect", right? So like, am I the bad guy.. to enable Pili.. if it creates a better change, overall amongst the keepers? Maybe. Will that power get to my head? (laughs) maybe. Will there be consequences? Maybe! Or maybe I come out on top too. "He was unethically experimented on" that's true. That's also true, is like. "for the sake of the long gain rather than instant gratification-" Like- the keepers have done some terrible things. And- of course I hold that grudge. I'm pretty subtle about it, at least on the surface level. But I don't let that go. "Two wrongs don't make a right" well I'm also aware of that, which is why I don't wanna go on like a- I'm not going on a massacre to kill all keepers, because I don't believe in that. I don't believe in- Whereas like, Pili- Y'know, is for entertainment. I think.. there is an issue with the keepers and something needs to be changed, but I don't hate the keepers themselves for existing and having more power. Because I have respect that they're a civilization right? Like- Grankeeper doesn't need to die to my hands (laughs).

Wheras Pili is like, 'the keepers need to die because they're stronger than us and they fuck with us,' I'm like- something needs to change with the keepers, right? Will I get my hands dirty to make that change happen? Maybe for the first time yes. Because it's a combination of my own justification plus the grudge i'm holding for how I was treated, right? And it's like- maybe, one or two particular people in charge, need to be knocked down a peg. But obviously, the keepers are... strong persay, -er than the average player. And so my response to that would be. A more.. nuclear option. i.e. Pili. Does that logic track? Because I don't have much else in my arsenal.

"so its justifiable to take jurassic action" Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeah. If I have to, I will. Once again- it's an unorthodox method to get what I want, but it's not the first time i've- used unorthodox methods, to- get what I want. For good or bad, right? With the sculk. Um, I can't remember- What did the High Keeper- What did the High Keeper book say? Because they made a particular comment about me that really stuck.

'Glad to see you haven't changed, LUCAS. I should have known that rotten defiance when I saw it. Next time, keep your "diaries" safe, you learn so much from them, hahaha. I shall keep quiet. For now.' Now I would never defy anyone [holding hands up like CAUGHT and smiling] Unless. (laughs) Unless I really, really believed that what they were doing was [wrong]. But like- this implies, like- this is a grudge from the past, right? 'I should have known that rotten defiance when I saw it.' Like- They're like, 'Shit. I know this guy.'

But yeah, that's where I am with the keepers at the moment. And that's why I've got Pili. Pili isn't involved in the issue yet, but Pili I think is like- locked and loaded. Ready to go. Right? It's a- It's a card i'm holding. "Pili is just lying in wait rn" Yeah- But Pili's dangerous too. Right? Like I wouldn't be taking risks like this with Pili, unless I thought I had to, and- Maybe I feel like I have to. Desperate times call for desperate measures- Pili is a desperate measure.

"time to escalate" Well-... Cause I don't even know if the keeper's.. have the cure yet. Which I'm- Like I'm happy to like-I don't even have the cure yet. My days. That's so awkward. Pangi has it- the egg. But as far as the keeper's [are] aware I've got it. But I don't know what they're gonna do with it. And I don't know if you can cure the keepers, I don't know if they want to be cured, I don't know if they'd gatekeep that knowledge. Like- The keepers play dirty. And I think it's because they're scared. I don't think it's because they're evil. But- It doesn't matter why they're doing it, to me it's proven that they aren't.... they aren't- qualified? They aren't capable? They aren't- They aren't fit to make those calls? And use us, or like- use the outworlders as like- puppets? "Professional?" Not even professional, respectful. Like- Like, human decency. "the keepers would definitely continue to use their powers to keep themselves in power,, they have a god complex with the powers to match" That's it. Yeah- Once again, I don't think all keepers are bad. But some of them definitely are. The ones- The important ones are bad, right? "the high keepers" I don't even know if it's all the high keepers, I don't know if Alpha, is still around and in the question, like... It's- bizarre. "he went missing-" yeah that's the thing, he went missing, was not confirmed dead or alive. Which means it is very possible that he's alive still. But I don't know his current motives, or why he's choosing to remain in hiding. If his kingdoms falling apart that's.. kind of an issue. I don't like the fact that he's- fled from his problems. Unless there's something I don't know but I haven't had that conversation.

- - past here he specifies that now he is officially ooc and meta talk

I would like to see a climb of power. For- tr!Lukey. Dude- Okay, this is meta talk now, officially, like, out of character. You know like- Okay, this might be a weird comparison to make, you know like- Sans? You know how he's just like a- like a weird grey area? Where it's like, he doesn't often do loads, but it's like he always kinda just knows what's going on. And how he's like... He knows about the different save files that are going on. Or like the different- Realms or servers and this that and the other. Right? And like- He kinda just takes it upon himself to keep things in check. Right? That like- sure, good and bad will happen, but like nothing too crazy world ending will happen, right? Does that make sense? Like he's not- He's not a front liner, but like, knows more than he lets on. "if trlukey got offered the position of high keeper do you think he'd take it" Position of a high keeper? ....I don't know if I wouuuuld. It'd wanna be- No, not like the other keepers. It wouldn't be like the other keepers. "[i] could fix it" Yeah, but- all the high keepers are the same, as far as I'm aware. Excluding, like.. maybe the original 7. Yeah, I'd rather carve out my own position. Or just like- "He wants to be something "New", not someone in a position of being controlled." Yeah, that's it. Something new, not a position of being controlled. Exactly. But it'd be cool- Okay, another comparison now. You know how like- in minecraft story mode, I can't remember what chapter, or what like- season, but like, in one of them. They're walking through that big hallway, and it's got all the- This is how I visualize, like, the realm lore. This could be wrong, this could be canon, I have no idea. But like- You know in minecraft storymode, and they have that huge- hallway, corridor, with all of like, the nether portals that lead to other dimensions. They're not actually nether portals, they're like, portals to different like, worlds. It would be really cool to see something like that visualized. And then.. just- Once again, not be a front liner, but.. be aware of what's going on within all of that. And maybe just take it upon.. oneself to- keep shit in check. Right? Like personal affairs aren't my problem, but.

Like, I could still have.. maybe the ability or knowledge perhaps, without the direct affiliation with the keepers. Or just operate differently. "like, you want to be a watcher and just know general information about everything?" ...Think of Sans. Like, what's his job/role. He doesn't have a specific assigned one, or at least it's not clear. That's- And that's it, is it's unclear. Does he time travel? Eh, don't really know! Is he, like- immortal? Eh, it's a bit of like a grey area. Like he's just there, and then it's until there's a real problem- [...] that he like, steps up.

"do you think if we will ever see the kingdom of null ? what it was like back then ?" That would be cool, to see like.. parts of it, how it functioned- cause I imagine it still exists, to some extent. But also, the null as I see it, and especially after seeing like Ros' castle and stuff, it can also be used as a place to archive, right? It's like sanctuary, right? It's why the keepers went there when the corruption got really bad. And I- I mean, I can traverse to the null. Which no one else can do. "you just cant get out of memory lane tho" Well I've never really tried. Now that I think about it. But yes, that's true. I've never just- gone out and about in the null. But I've never tried. I mean the ticket is 'ticket to the null'.

"Why is it, that tr!lukey never really speaks of his past to other people (not even tr!pangi or tr!aimsey)" Uhm, there's a couple reasons. I think a primary one is I don't wanna burden people. With my own burden. Right. Like- although what happened's bad, because I see it so logically I just know that telling people wouldn't change what happened. Right? And like with everything else going on- But then, also secondly, there's an element of knowledge is.. power I suppose? And- Being seen as overly vulnerable? Unless like- Like I wouldn't tell unless I was provoked to, right? Like unless I had a reason to. Like Water really pushed, and I was like- 'Fine!' and I gave like, the first little hint of a detail, that something had gone on and like the memory was wiped, right? "truth is currency" Yeah,... "you cant reveal all your cards and not expect it to be exploited" Exactly. But also, like, since I've been here, my past has kind of made me a target, right? Like, the nature of me just appearing out of nowhere, my possible affiliation with the keepers. And- I kinda learnt the hard way (laughs) to play it close to my chest. "not even truth is currency but information is powerful and a big currency in the realm" Yeah! And like once I say something to someone, like I can't- You can't undo that. They know now. They-They are free to tell- Whoever they please. And I can't- stop that. "i mean you did say pangi and aimsey can read memory lain if they want to" There's also- Okay, and now for like the more meta answer too, there is an element of like.. Like I know Pangi isn't- by playstyles, right? Whereas Aimsey probably would, not everyone else would- just read through pages, and pages, and pages of books. Right? Like I don't wanna be like- here's a whole thing like you can read up on. "i mean you did say pangi and aimsey can read memory lain if they want to" Well he can! Like he has the option to. Like Pangi can. The thing is, is like- I've told him. I've told him he can read it whenever he wants, he just asks me and he can go. But he hasn't. Like I wouldn't stop that from happening, if he said "Lucas I wanna read memory lane," I'd be like "Yeah sure." Like I don't need to- hold his hand through it. He'd be welcome just to go. But like- everytime I've been there, I focus on.. everytime I've taken people there, I've focused on the points that I think are relevant, right? Like, my work and the progress I've made. And.. the cure, and the corruption, which is the threat- And I just don't see my own burden as part of the picture, as- as relevant. And maybe that's- comes from a place of.. insecurity about it? Or just, like... ""Hey man can i hop into your brain rq i wanna read through your trauma"" Yeah like- (laughs) the trauma- I wanna read the trauma series.

"I wonder in memory lane might get longer, the time spent in the test tube was alot longer than the life before." That's true, yeah. "Does tr!lukey remember much of the time in the test tube?" Time spent in the test tube? Well- I mean, If you think about your week, IRL, right. And how much you've done. If you've spent all week in your room, in the same place doing the same thing, you'll find it's- far harder to remember the things that happened within that time, than if you were... on a road trip for example, or on holiday going to different places, on different days. So like- I suppose after a while, that time just blends into itself. There were- breakout attempts. (laughs) Probably- Probably back- at the time, the most exciting part of my day. But- yeah I remember, like I have all those memories, but I just- don't bring it up. I don't like being vulnerable with people. "okay but like... how funny it would be to be like "heres all this important stuff blah blah oh yeah I got tortured for millions of years in a test tube but thats not important, ANYWAYS! this othe thing..."" Well that's kind of what I did. That's kind of what I did! Was like- Like I actively led Aimsey and Pangi like, past all of the scenes, where I was trapped, and encased, and the whole kingdom as I knew it burned down. And I- I did! Like that's not even a bit, I breezed past that because I didn't see that as valuable to my friends at the time. It was just.. I just focused on my achievements, I suppose. "also the insanely prolonged solitary isolation and torture just. cannot be good for your memory or your ability to be vulnerable socially" Well that's it. I don't really trust.. a lot of people. And no one entirely. I think the one person I could probably trust.. with everything would be Newt. Right? Like- I don't think- No outworlder I could completely trust. And for the first time that's been tested, cause this whole- this whole memory sitch. "you focus on the good parts in your life so everyone thinks youre ok when most likely youre not" Well.. yeah! Like Newt has been there since the beginning. He understands- Like I don't need to tell Newt what happened he was- he was there. Like- when no one else was.

"come to think of it tr!pangi has a crazy age gap with both his major situationships" Yeah, the age- from a meta answer, my 'age' has.. it's a blurry answer? I suppose that does make me x amount of years old, but also.. my intention when logging on wasn't to- y'know, inact this... 3 billion year old guy. But also think of Sans, man. how old's he. "mental age is different though" It always has been (laughs) "could there be a point in the near future where we see tr!lukey having a bit of a breakdown due to all the trauma he's endured?" Perhaps, If provoked. Yeah. But- That depends on what.. "the null’s time doesn’t move so you kinda stayed stagnant so did you really age in there? or stay still?" Well, yeah- I wasn't affected by the null time. Right? Whereas everyone else, all the outworlders when they went to the null, they were like 'Oh my god, so-and-so million years have passed." But when I was reset for the first time, for whatever reason, I- came out pretty unaffected. [...] But yeah, having a breakdown, I've nev- It depends, it depends what would provoke it. [...] "the panic room" Dude. The lab's my panic room. [...] "speaking of, what are your thoughts in and out of character on “the safe space not being safe”" [he never got to answering this sadly.. started but got distracted...... sigh....]

end transcript.

#ten.txt #ten.transcript #lukeytv #tr!lukey #the realm #mostly this is for my own reference bc he touched on some of my fav topics of any meta talk yet #and its a good insight to trlukeys current state #cuz we havent had one in a bit abt current trlukey #but i figured somebody here may want it too . for reference or just to read if they didnt catch stream. idk #i really only kept the important meta talk relevant bits in so #lmk if i misheard/mispelled anything i have auditory processing issues and didn't spellcheck before posting

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signanothername · 6 months ago

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it might be an awkward question but-

HOW DO YOU MANAGE TO DRAW SO MUCH?? how do you get so many beautiful ideas? how do you keep yourself motivated? tell me your secret I will sell you my soul

🩵 🫴 take it.

Why thank you 🫳🩵

Ah the question ever

Truthful and simple answer is that there’s no secret

This might seem contradictory considering how much I post, but I genuinely am not as motivated or as inspired as I seem to be

I struggle a lot with ideas and motivation and that is a problem I have on a daily basis that’s been happening for years (I have SO many wips that I never shared)

It’s not about the struggle, it’s about how I curated my art to that struggle

I’m at a constant threat to experience burnout (certified chronic pain and chronic fatigue haver), so to combat that, I take measures to make sure I don’t burn myself out and actually reserve the very little energy I have to continue doing artworks/comics

To give you a specific example, if you notice with my comics, they’re always sketchy and are never colored, that’s not because I don’t want to make colored comics, but because of knowledge from previous experiences that if I actually forced myself to make colored comics, I’d immediately plunge to burnout and would probably not be able to draw for a few weeks after because of it (in fact the last time I made a colored comic was here, which is a rare occasion even then btw, and that comic caused me to experience a near burnout)

Which was extremely frustrating to me at some point might I add, because before 2021, I had no problem making so many colored comics and artworks at a short span of time, I actually had motivation before (something that is lost to me now), so you can imagine how genuinely frustrating it is, it even made me feel like I’m not a “real” artist

(The concept of what is considered a “real artist” is bullshit btw, someone who draws stickmen everyday is as much of a real artist as someone who makes diverse fully colored artworks with backgrounds and everything, as long as you use your creativity and turn it to something meaningful, you’re already a real artist, regardless of skill or the extent of which you are able to conceive with your art)

That being said, it’s all about finding your own footing and workflow, what works best for you? What doesn’t?

Some things that you’d love for them to work (in my case making colored comics) might not work in reality, life is disappointing like that, so it’s also about acceptance

Acceptance of yourself as you are, maybe it’s not what you truly strive for, maybe you wish you could do more, but sometimes taking a step back and looking into yourself to see if you can actually achieve what you want with the resources you have could be life saving

So when it comes to motivation? Find your workflow, what are the things that you know could make you lose your motivation? On the other hand, what are the things that preserve your motivation?

Not only that, but time management is also a contributing factor

Of course, my own way to preserve my motivation/energy is as follows:

1- never force myself to finish artworks/comics if I feel like I can’t (even if I really really want to), I save them up for later when my motivation for them kicks back in

2-let perfectionism go, if I keep fretting over whether every line in an artwork looks good I’ll never accomplish anything but destroy my mental health (certified perfectionist speaking btw)

3-comics stay as sketches, as much as I want to make beautifully colored comics, I know this will only contribute to my burnout, so keeping it real with myself and what I can accomplish with my own resources (energy, time, health, etc) is important

4-making multiple sketches in a day then choosing what fancies my brain that day, or getting back to older sketches I already made before (sometimes months before) to see if my brain has the itch to work on any of them, by doing that, then I’m giving myself actual diversity in choices to choose from, which helps me feel like I don’t have to be forced to work on anything new, or something that I don’t wanna work on

For clarification, I’m talking actual sketches, not cleaned up ones, if you make clean sketches you won’t be able to make multiple ones in the same day

Here’s an example of what I mean by sketches

5-stop beating myself up over things I can’t control, if I keep being harsh on myself over the fact I couldn’t finish an artwork or the fact I’m not satisfied with it, it’ll only contribute to make me feel bad about myself and that would only contribute to me losing even more motivation which contributes to beating myself up and so the self torture cycle goes on, myself deserves to be pat on the back gently and be told “it’s ok, you’ll get there in time”

6-teach myself that it’s ok to lose motivation, there are times in which I do not open my art app for weeks, instead of hating myself for it, I tell myself “you need time, you’re tired and you need the break”, and it’s true, if you lost motivation, it’s most likely due to something else contributing to it

So i just ask myself what’s up, sometimes, I’m overworked in other life aspects, other times I’m in too much pain, so instead of forcing myself through my demotivation, I take care of these factors demotivating me so I’d feel comfortable enough to be able to work on artworks again

If I couldn’t identify a factor contributing to my loss of motivation, then I take it as my own brain telling me that it needs the break, it needs the dopamine if doing something different and I do that, whether by watching my favorite shows, playing my favorite games, trying a different hobby like writing or reading, etc

7- work on my own time, sometimes I do finish artworks quickly, and I do have the capacity to do so, but I’ve noticed that my loss of motivation became less of an issue when I gave myself the actual time to work on artworks, sometimes, a simple artwork that I could finish in 20 minutes takes me weeks to finish, not because I can’t finish it earlier, but because I intentionally worked slowly on it as I’m working on other artworks just as slow, that way, I don’t overwhelm myself and I’m making progress on multiple artworks/comics at the same time, and seeing such progress gives me even more motivation

Cough, anyway, got lost in talking about motivation ghcchch

As for your other question about how I get my ideas, it’s usually something I saw that inspired me, whether an artwork, something irl, etc

Or even sometimes, my own artworks inspire ideas for comics, so I’d draw something, then ask myself (asking yourself questions is such a great helper when it comes to coming up with ideas) why is the character doing this? How did they get there? Etc

That helps me come up with answers which are then answered via comics or multiple different artworks

For example, this comic, what inspired it was me asking myself one simple question, “what would happen if Murder actually asked Nightmare for a visit home for once, instead of running away like he always does?”, and that immediately got me to work on the comic

Of course, it doesn’t mean I always am on the ready for an idea, in fact, a lot of the time my mind is blank, nothing up there to help me, which is why I turn to mindlessly sketching sometimes

I just open a canvas and start sketching, what? I don’t know, I’m just gonna sketch something, could be a character, environment, scribbles, meaningless lines etc, it’s my iwn version of a warm up, and it helps a lot with making my brain get into the zone

That’s all I can think of off the top of my head

Enjoy a look into my brain chhcchch

#ngl sometimes I wanna stream my art process from the beginning somewhere #just so you guys would see how much I struggle behind the scenes chchchhc #i know I make it look easy af #but I promise you if you see what I go through you’ll be even more confused by the frequency of which I post chhcchhv #anothers ask

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