#TLC censor bar

[thelovelycircusau]

🌸 TLC! Censor Bar

[cusackswhitehair]

From reading your Hoarder Alex headcannon post, I am all for some fat Hoarder Alex representation. It also makes me inquire if you have any other body headcannons on him?

//Desc: I sure do!! Ever since I’ve first laid my eyes upon this scallywag I just knew he’s not the fittest of the bunch. He’s just so utterly pear-shaped, it’s amazing in a way. Obviously, I don’t condone drawing the poor guy looking so obese he could rock a show on TLC, but I do enjoy his bountiful plumpness, if I do say so myself. He’s chunky, and it’s just too sweet. And to answer your question, I’ve been overanalyzing this rapscallion for days on end, here are some more biology headcanons about Alex’s frame! Thank you for requesting!! \\

✶⋆.˚ 📁 Hoarder Alex Body Headcanons 🥞 ✶⋆.˚

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His tail is terribly fragile and delicate, only a light coat of fur protecting the thing. He has to be very careful not to jam it into anywhere too hard or wag it too hard as it can smack against anything, ultimately splitting the tail open. This man has definetely got happy tail syndrome. One time, in a more heated argument, Shoryo accidentally stomped one of her wooden hooves onto Alex’s tail. The Uncanny Streets has yet to hear a more girly scream than the one he gave out that day. After the incident, Alex walked with his tail tucked far behind for weeks.

Not to be dramatic, but I’m glad he chose the jumper and bare legs combo instead of the other way around, Alex, for the lack of a better word, has man tits. If having man tits would be an illnes, Alex would be patient zero. Is he in any way insecure about them? Hell no! In fact, he is often seen enjoying his well-deserved siesta (after doing absolutely nothing) on top of his hoarded up trash bags, blasting music over the radio with his jumper zipped down, as if he’s enjoying the sun, tanning. “Get your shirt on, man, nobody wants to see that!” “I’LL DO WHAT I WANT ON MY OWN PROPERTY, EH STRONZO!?”

Thanks to how droopy his face is, his snout fits in a lot of unconditional spaces, which is quite useful for junk diving which he does daily. His snout fits into bottles and even bongs although the latter isn’t really recommended.

His feet although acute, have small foot pads and claws, the toe beans a pinkish tinted color, matching his uneven flush when he’s angry. Although, he carries himself with much confidence, most of the time his waltzing resembles one of a soldier on guard, hence the little “tack tack tack” noises he makes on the ground. Quite intimidating, but not very effective for when he’s tries to tiptoe.

Nothing like laying down after food coma hitting! Alex loves nothing more than curling up with his tail used as a sleep mask, even such a tough guy like him has a feel of drowsiness after a hearty meal. If you pick him up and softly shake him, he’d definetely look like those kittens with their bellies full of soup. Just let the good fellow nap.

His major insecurity prove to be his eyes, that black censor bar he managed to rummage up from somewhere is really saving his image. What kind of tough maranza walks around with big fat, twinkling eyes that would put a lovelorn maiden into shame. The cersor bar makes it much harder to see, but all of his other senses are quite advanced, no need to be afraid. If you manage to catch a glance at those magnificent browns, he must really trust you. His pupils also dialate when he finds something satiable (so not too often thankfully), but elements really are working against his toughness.

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i loved doing this one smmm, i want to bite a piece off of him FAT FAT MAN PTOO FAT

[bornpariah-a]

dorian looks very little like his father and very similar to his mother, particularly his eyes, which haunts him on occasion. odd, since his father is the one who is dead and his mother yet lives, but halward was the nice parent of the two of them. much less manipulative !! which isn’t saying much, really

[keepingupwithfundies]

Wonder why they blurred Jessa's knees. Jessas knees have been shown numerous times on tv. I wonder if tlc did that so people will be talking about them.

IKR?!? Seems a bit much... I think if it was TLC’s idea, they would have used something more obvious, like a black censor bar lol. (Annie)