#TOTW: What a shocker

[gallifreyinstituteforlearning]

🤔⚡ How much electricity can a Time Lord safely withstand?

Time Lords, it turns out, are very resistant to electrocution. But how much zap can they take before they go a bit… crispy?

⚙️ Zap, Zap

First, let's do science. Voltage (the push behind electricity) isn't what kills—it's amperes (the current). A cattle prod might give you 2,000 volts, but at a low current, it just stings. Humans are basically okay until levels reach in excess of 0.1 amperes, when things start getting more risky. Anything over 0.2 amperes is often fatal.

Time Lords are (obviously) made of sterner stuff.

1️⃣ An Everyday Zap: Time Lords can brush off shocks up to around 0.2 amperes without losing consciousness, even if they're caught off guard.

2️⃣ A Moderate Zap: When caught off guard with levels exceeding 0.2 amperes, they will lose consciousness. This can be immediate, or it can be delayed just long enough for the villain to do their monologue.

3️⃣ A Huge Zap: Forewarned is forearmed! With preparation, Time Lords have survived insane currents of 30,000 to 300,000 amps through direct lightning strikes. The result could be much less pleasant if they're caught off guard.

4️⃣ A Zap Too Far: How much is too much? Good question. Gallifreyan biology definitely has its limits, but we don't actually know or can work out what this upper figure might be. We can be quite sure that being caught off guard is more dangerous, and levels in excess of 300,000 amperes haven't been tested yet.

🩺 Recovery

Regardless of the voltage, Time Lords bounce back unnervingly quickly. They might be left with some singed skin, a brief headache, and a newfound respect for rubber gloves, but they're as good as new in no time.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll just be checking those surge protectors in the TARDIS.

Gallifreyan Biology for Tuesday by GIL

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[bushleaguefpl-blog]

ROLLING THUNDER: BUSH LEAGUE HEATS UP THROUGH ROUNDS TWO AND THREE.

If anything, the last two rounds of The Bush have showed managers that no two weeks can be the same. Harrison “Is Don is Good” Kennedy and Ben “sit on my face” Petersen are the two managers alone at the top much to the dislike of the inconsistent fellow managers. MASSIVE scores in round 2 all around the table were snuffed out by a terrible average in week 3. From a BIG statement in Logan’s 105 point scoring thrashing over Brody, to the high score of 64 of Chris and his BBB’s this week, let alone 4 Wildcards dropped - the last two rounds have set the stage for a sensational, theatrical year of The Bush.

Let’s start with the elephant in the room, Logan “Where’s the weekly” McIndoe’s massive, and quite clearly gratifying domination over GW2 and Brody “must.beat.logan.” Felgate. 105 to 64. A waste of a triple captain some may say this early, or the fact that he would have won regardless without it. Nonetheless, a victory where you take the other players chip and shove it up his clack is about as good as it gets. Well played Logan, we’re talking to ourselves as you don’t read these but troll when they’re not done (logic), regardless, well played.

That happiness will last all season with bragging rights no doubt, though Logan’s top dog status didn’t last long. Opting for an Aguero captain let him and many FPL managers down in a controversial draw over the Wolves, ultimately giving Chris “Hayne is our best player kill me” Kennedy and Salah a bit of revenge from last weeks captain battle.

Quiet underachiever since his debut in the Bush, Chris “former Vinny D” Keen has picked up we believe his second TOTW in his teams short history. The Big Booty Bitches, Big, Big Booty Bitches, we want Big Booty Bitches (had to) - scored the highest points in GW3 sitting at 64 to get his season off the mark. Some outstanding selections made hopefully a rise from the dark for Chris.

Historically the Bush is a place for excitement and a lot of the time, excessive excitement (*cough* Brody *cough*). This becomes ever so clear in the case of wildcards. In the past few seasons, many managers have decided to fall on the sword of the early wildcard in fits of frustration and sadness following early week results. This trend hath continued this week; Rowan, Tim, Morgan and Danny all felt the pressure enough to completely change their team ahead of GW3 after tumultuous starts to their campaigns. It only paid off for two teams, leaving Tim and Rowan without a win, without a wildcard and sadly, without hope. The Bush community is here for anyone suffering selection depression, your fellow managers are here for you lads, onwards and upwards.

Rowan “domesticated” Flanagan, a former Bush champ, thought he’d do a cheeky one for the CSKA derby, great tactic, then comes the team selection... absolute trash. Flanagan and his Doumbia’s went from a 67 scoring team to a 31 scoring team with some questionable transfers. For example getting rid of Tripper (22 points last two) for the likes of a three man defence that scored 9. Loyalty to United obviously masked the stupidity of such decisions and fair enough the post wildcard team is good on paper. It just doesn’t justify such drastic decisions this early when the GW2 team wasn’t bad at all. The Dons came through on the back of Liverpool and Captain “safe” Salah, a decision Harry has finally learnt is a smart one after avoiding Salah for 25 Game weeks last year. Don’s are 3/3 so far and may just get his first ever MOTM nomination since the introduction in BUSH 3.

Sitting on top with The Dons is everyone’s fan favourite Ben Petersen. Ben gave it to the critics after ‘easy’ wins against Blake and Chris to go on to beat struggling former champ Brock Lamont. The Mooys struggled up front unlike Harry “tap, tap, tap it in” Kane did not. To make it 4/4, the Bigotes are taking on Kirby’s Loftus-Cheeks which will be no easy task after a strong week from them. Kirby did everyone a favour and silenced James “Posting gifs of city is banter right?” McIndoe this week with a solid win, thank-you kind sir.

“I’ll crack the tonne this week” - Tim Sheehan, before realising he will indeed, not even crack half a tonne.

Tim isn’t mad he’s just disappointed in himself and his team after their performance against The Coach, Danny Cotton. Both managers opted for their wildcard with Danny prevailing sending Tim to the shadow realm (the realm of no wins - ask Riley Guest, he lives there). The real shocker here is that... 3 weeks in, Danny has used his FREE HIT and his WILDCARD. After losing by 2 points in the first round Danny must have been LIVID at his team and went nah fuck this, all chips a go let’s get it. Strange tactics, how many chips left? 32 rounds left? Do the math boys, it doesn’t add up but we’re rooting for you Coach.

Phenomenons happen every now and then in sport, much to the favour of punters (you know who you are), sometimes they pay off, sometimes you’re sitting there wondering why you’ve spent your last dollar on a Japanese badminton heat. Nobody could have predicted Mitch “no.1 ticket holder to Rowan’s live show ‘If there’s grass on the pitch play cricket’” Keen, who this week pulled off a SECOND draw in a row. Frustrating, though competitive, if he gets a third he should 100% buy a lottery ticket.

It’s not very often in the Bush that a risk pays off dividends. It’s what keeps us at the times in business...reporting on the failure in a terrific fashion. This week however the exception has been filed. Take a bow Mr. Blake “I Shit You Not” Hands for what is the managerial manoeuvre of the decade. A -16 POINT HIT LEADING TO A “GOOD OLD FASHIONED GEORGE W”. Mr Hands said it best in the post match presser saying “it’s like playing with 10 men against Wolves and still winning the game”. We bow to you sir for your brilliant win and for defying the system during a week where early wildcards are the object of criticism. Congratulations...we’re getting used to this winner in our midst (Even if he’s a fucking choker). Kudos. 

A congratulations is in order to Morgan Witts and the Hurrikanes - a very first Bush win. A momentous occasion for any manager and one that will live with him forever. A win over the GC tigers thanks to solid selections in defence and dark horse Pereyra has him on the board and now optimistic with what’s to come. He joins 11 other teams on 3 points in what we like to call the ‘Danger Zone’. A win here would catapult any team into mid table success, a loss would hurt them tremendously.

Speaking of the Daaaanger Zooooone (Sung like Archer, if you don’t get it i hate you), let’s take a look at the members and their situations.

Brody - GW1, got TOTW. Since then used Triple Captain and lost twice.

Madde - Won his first with big score, lost two in a row

Reid - Finally sorted his bench and has won first game of season.

Brock - Has 1 win 2 losses, only win against wooden spooner Guy.

David - First win of the season this week.

Max - 1 from 3, questionable captaincy to only united players so far...

Blake - Very lucky to get a win this week, 1/3 and one of lowest scoring starts in Bush history.

Bush GW4 is underway this weekend lads - go make bad decisions and most of all, stay classy.