#The H.A.R.M

[theindescribable1]

:)

Character sheet for Elims, (Ee-limz), a member of my new characters for my new story!

The H.A.R.M :)

[melodylyricx]

sillies

Literally the duo ever

Characters belong to @theindescribable1 (love ur work btw)

[caffeinated-goblin]

Fancy Caffyyy :3

(HOW MUCH DID YOU SHRINK AMBROSE'S CLOTHES YOU 3FT GOBLIN? HES GONNA BE MAD D:<)

[emilysidhe]

MST3Knitathon, knitting (or folding laundry) while watching our way through a fan-voted top 100 list from bottom to top:

71. Episode 815 Agent for H.A.R.M

Summary: A Soviet scientist has defected with a sample of an alien fungus the Soviets found on a meteorite that can turn human bodies into goo. He wants to keep his work with it a secret from both the Americans and the Soviets until he develops an antidote, but with an evil Soviet scientist (and his oddly dressed minions) planning to use their sample to poison American crops, the world’s smuggest secret agent is sent out to his California beach house to convince him to work with the Americans before the Soviets manage to recapture him and his work. Also, the scientist has a twenty year old niece who wears a skimpy bikini for most of the movie.

MST3K lore or notable moments: Remember back in Episode 804 The Deadly Mantis (number 98 on the list), when Mike accidentally helps the apes blow up their planet by telling them which wrench will fix their bomb, and I mentioned that would be a running gag? This episode is the payoff, as a galactic court of superior beings summons Mike to be put on trial for the many planets he has blown up in the meantime. Pearl is named prosecutor and presents an inaccurate reenactment as evidence. Professor Bobo is counselor for the defense, but is too busy playing up folksy southern lawyer tropes to actually defend his client. The court finds Mike guilty, but sentences him to community service because they recognize that he’s just a dolt.

What do I think about it’s place on the list? After starting this section of the list really strong with Night of the Blood Beast, Hamlet, and Devil Doll, I’ve found these last two episodes kind of a let down. I don’t really think that Girls Town is a Top 75 MST3K episode, but I see what other people see in it enough to concede the point graciously. This episode is just … fine. Of all the spy movies they’ve done, this one might be the most mediocre. There’s not nearly enough action, and while there’s not more womanizing here than in the others, how very young the women this visibly middle-aged spy is fooling around with makes it seem skeevier. It’s a good riff (watch for the jokes about the signature outfits of the bad guys, especially the one who kind of looks like Prince) but it’s still a pretty forgettable movie.

I suspect this is actually up here because of Mike’s trial, but the only bit in there that really got me was when Bobo broke Brain Guy on the stand by catching him in a lie about making apple pie. That was a good bit.

Other than that, there’s not too much particular going for it. I don’t know if I’d knock it off the list entirely, but it should at least be in the bottom 10.

[countesspetofi]

mst3k - extreme!

To this day, I can't cook or eat rice without saying to myself, "EXTREEME RICE!!"

[vgtrackbracket]

Video Game Track Bracket Round 1

Smashing Waves from Earthlock

vs.

Siberia from No One Lives Forever 2: A Spy in H.A.R.M.'s Way

No propaganda was submitted for either track.

If you want your propaganda reblogged and added to future polls, please tag it as propaganda or otherwise indicate this!

[pedroam-bang]

Nokse Mojo - Cate Archer (2018)

[gojira007]

Yeah, the show's own creators/writers being at best apathetic to the Sci-Fi channel's executive mandate to have Season 8 feature a running storyline of sorts is one of those great ironies to me, because on the one hand I do get it; it really is fairly far afield of what the show's actually about, and I rather doubt it played to the strengths or inclinations of anyone working on the show? But on the other hand it's kind of the reason I became a fan of the show in the first place; my first episode was "Giant Spider Invasion", which features an "Invasion of the Bodysnatchers" parody story-line, and while I very much loved the actual movie-watching segments, it was those host segments with the storyline specifically that made me really want to come back for more. Something about the specific combination of these characters, this setting, with an actual Story just sort of resonated with me, and I rather suspect it's precisely because it felt so out of place from what you might otherwise expect.

We of the Intergalactic Tribunal, bound by neither space nor time, find your atrocities typical of humankind.

[jimintomystery]

MST3K's most wanted

I've been organizing my Mystery Science Theater 3000 collection, so I've become preoccupied with the handful of episodes that are not easily available, and the reasons why. In case in anyone else is interested, I thought I'd share what I've learned.

For our purposes we'll be focusing on the ten seasons that aired on cable, from 1989 to 1999. With the post-2017 episodes, it's trivial to purchase them on home video or streaming. And the pre-cable stuff, from KTMA, is widely available as bootleg footage, which is probably about as good as you're ever going to get. But the episodes from the cable era have been notoriously difficult to re-release, and require special attention.

Of the 176 MST3K episodes that aired on cable, 166 have been released on home video, and 145 are available for streaming/download on the Gizmoplex. As someone who's been trying to collect the whole series since the 1990s, I think that's pretty impressive. But there are 40 episodes that have been particularly tricky. Let's take a look, won't you?

Currently available on the Gizmoplex, but never on home video (1):

913 - Quest of the Delta Knights

As I understand it, nobody was sure who owned the rights to this movie, or how to contact them, for years. The situation has only recently been cleared up, perhaps too late for a DVD release.

Currently available on the Gizmoplex, but out of print on home video (8):

203 - Jungle Goddess

317 - Viking Women and the Sea Serpent

319 - War of the Colossal Beast

510 - The Painted Hills

619 - Red Zone Cuba

806 - The Undead

808 - The She-Creature

912 - The Screaming Skull

It looks like all of these went out of print due to being on a set where a different episode's rights expired. Theoretically Shout Factory could re-release any of them in a "Lost and Found" set, but that may not be cost-effective as people move away from collecting physical media.

Currently available on home video and MST3K's official YouTube, but not on the Gizmoplex (1):

615 - Kitten with a Whip (Vol. 25 DVD, 2012)

Kitten is one of the Universal movies that could only be licensed for physical media. And yet, it's the only one I can find on the official YouTube channel. Beats me why that is.

Currently available on home video, but not on the Gizmoplex (16):

401 - Space Travelers (Vol. 32 DVD, 2015)

522 - Teen-Age Crime Wave (Vol. 33 DVD, 2015)

524 - 12 to the Moon (Vol. 35 DVD, 2016)

601 - Girls Town (Vol. 39 DVD, 2017)

605 - Colossus and the Headhunters (Vol. 38 DVD, 2017)

614 - San Francisco International (Vol. 32 DVD, 2015)

704 - The Incredible Melting Man (Vol. 36 DVD, 2016)

801 - Revenge of the Creature (Vol. 25 DVD, 2012)

802 - The Leech Woman (25th Anniversary Edition DVD, 2013)

803 - The Mole People (Vol. 26 DVD, 2013)

804 - The Deadly Mantis (Vol. 27 DVD, 2013)

805 - The Thing That Couldn't Die (Vol. 29 DVD, 2013)

814 - Riding With Death (Vol. 36 DVD, 2016)

815 - Agent for H.A.R.M (Vol. 33 DVD, 2015)

901 - The Projected Man (Vol. 30 DVD, 2014)

1013 - Diabolik (Vol. 39 DVD, 2017)

I was able to find the DVD sets listed above on Shout Factory's website. As far as I know, they'll remain in print for the foreseeable future, but there's no way to know how long that will last.

The general pattern with these episodes is that the movies are owned by major studios that would only license them for physical media. Columbia owns Teen-Age Crime Wave and 12 to the Moon. MGM owns Girls Town and The Incredible Melting Man. Paramount owns Diabolik. But the big player here is Universal, which controls the rights to Space Travelers, San Francisco International, Revenge of the Creature, Leech Woman, Mole People, Deadly Mantis, Thing That Couldn't Die, Riding With Death, Agent for H.A.R.M., and Projected Man.

The odd man out here is Colossus and the Headhunters; I can't find any info on who owns the rights to this film, which may be part of the problem.

The real hard cases, the stickiest of wickets, are below...

Released on home video, but now out of print (5):

212 - Godzilla vs. Megalon (Vol. 10 DVD, 2006)

309 - The Amazing Colossal Man (VHS, 1996)

910 - The Final Sacrifice (Vol. 17 DVD, 2010)

1001 - Soultaker (Vol. 14 DVD, 2009)

1012 - Squirm (Turkey Day Collection DVD, 2014)

Megalon and Colossal Man were both recalled when rights issues came up after they were released. Oops. These were produced by Rhino, back before Shout Factory took over.

The Final Sacrifice is particularly tough to find, even unofficially, because director Tjardus Greidanus is very aggressive about tracking down download links. I always figured someone was similarly possessive of Soultaker, since it's clearly a passion project, but that's purely my speculation.

The Turkey Day DVD set is still available on Amazon at a reasonable price, so Squirm is still relatively accessible for now.

Never released on home video or streaming (9):

201 - Rocketship X-M

213 - Godzilla vs. the Sea Monster

311 - It Conquered the World

416 - Fire Maidens of Outer Space

418 - Attack of the the Eye Creatures

807 - Terror from the Year 5000

809 - I was a Teenage Werewolf

905 - The Deadly Bees

906 - The Space Children

In 2017, Shout released its final (?) MST3K DVD collection, which included Satellite Dishes, a compilation of host segments from episodes that "may never get a legitimate release." This included the nine listed above, as well as The Amazing Colossal Man and Quest for the Delta Knights. Of course, Delta Knights eventually got a digital-only release, which is cause for a glimmer of hope. But the others are probably tougher nuts to crack.

Wade Williams owned the rights to Rocketship X-M and had a particular sentimental attachment to the film. His death in 2023 may make it easier to negotiate with his estate, but I wouldn't count on that being a swift process.

Godzilla vs. Megalon and Godzilla vs. The Sea Monster are part of a prestigious franchise, and it's remarkable MST3K got away with riffing on Godzilla movies in the first place. I get the impression that Japanese culture doesn't particularly appreciate the sort of mockery MST3K is known for, so the rights to these two movies may be a long, long shot. Then again I used to think there was no hope of for the Gamera episodes too.

Fire Maidens, Deadly Bees, and Space Children are owned by Olive Films, and currently licensed to Paramount. It's possible a deal can be made later on, but not until the current arrangement expires.

The major bugbear for MST3K fandom is Susan Hart, the widow of American International Pictures co-founder James Nicholson. One way or another the AIP catalog was split up and Hart laid claim to several of their films, including Amazing Colossal Man, It Conquered the World, Eye Creatures, Terror from the Year 5000, and Teenage Werewolf. Hart's price for licensing her movies is very high, and it seems Shout has given up negotiating with her. I suppose the situation could change when she passes away, but I'd feel rather silly hoping for an old woman to die just so I can pay 8 bucks to watch robots laugh at a werewolf movie.

In conclusion, I've already purchased all the movies available on the Gizmoplex (I got most of them in a Kickstarter reward package), and the 31 that aren't available there can be obtained by, ahem, other means. So it's a great time to be an MST3K fan, and I'm still amazed how easy it is to watch the show nowadays.

[theindescribable1]

HAPPY FACE!

[shield-o-futuro]

4- Natasha + Scarlly

4. ❛ Você é a única pessoa que eu conheço que consegue ficar impaciente com um micro-ondas. ❜ || Scarlett & Natasha Romanoff

Scarlett estava em pé na frente do micro-ondas, com os braços cruzados, e os pés batendo de forma agitada no chão da cozinha. O cronômetro ainda marcava 00:48 segundos, mas para ela, parecia uma eternidade.

Ela resmungou bruscamente. 

— Vamos!

Natasha, encostada casualmente no balcão da pequena cozinha de sua sala na Torre dos Vingadores, tomou um gole de café e levantou uma sobrancelha ao observar a filha. 

— Você é a única pessoa que eu conheço que realmente fica impaciente com um micro-ondas.

Sem nem mesmo se virar para olhar para sua mãe, Scarlett retrucou: 

— Isso é mentira. Você conhece o Tommy.

Natasha fez uma pausa, lembrando-se fo filho de Wanda Maximoff, considerou e então soltou uma risadinha curta. 

— Ok, você tem razão.

Scarlett gemeu, jogando a cabeça para trás dramaticamente. 

— Sério, porque isso é tão lento?

— Faltam apenas trinta segundos Scarlett.

— Trinta segundos podem mudar a vida de alguém, mãe. Você sabe disso.

Natasha balançou a cabeça, divertindo-se com a impaciência da mais nova. 

— Porque está com tanta pressa, afinal? Até cinco minutos atrás não parecia que você estava correndo contra o tempo.

Scarlett trocou o peso de uma perna para a outra, e pareceu um tanto quanto relitante em responder de primeira, mas logo suspirou.

— É que eu me lembrei que esqueci uma coisa. — Ela respondeu, e como Natasha continuou olhando pra ela, Scarlett continuou. — O tio Steve disse que a Abby, o Sam e eu poderíamos fazer um treino especial com ele na Sala H.A.R.M hoje, e eu já estou ficando atrasada. E você sabe que ele vai fazer um discurso enorme se eu me atrasar.

Natasha soltou uma risada de verdade agora.

— Oh sim, ele vai. Já é melhor se preparar.  

Scarlett olhou para o micro-ondas como se ele a tivesse injustiçado pessoalmente. Como se tudo aquilo fosse culpa dele e não de sua falta de atenção.

— Se  essa coisa fosse mais rápida, eu já estaria…. — Com um bipe baixo, o cronômetro finalmente chegou a zero. Scarlett jogou as mãos para o alto em uma comemoração rápida e pegou seu burrito, ainda com impaciencia. — Finalmente, poxa! — Ela o moreu, apenas para recuar imediatamente. — Droga, está quente!

Natasha tomou outro gole de seu café, nada impressionada. 

— Às vezes, você é seu pior inimigo, Sarlly. E não vou nem comentar o quão péssima é sua ideia de comer antes de ir treinar com o Steve. Porque você já deveria saber disso.

Scarlett não pareceu dar atenção para isso, apenas se apressou para outro canto da sala e pegou sua mochila com seus equipamentos e seu arco. Depois ela correu novamente para a cozinha, pegou seu burrito mais uma vez e deu um beijo rápido na bochecha de Natasha.

— Não se preocupe, vai ficar tudo bem, eu volto mais tarde!

E com isso, ela saiu correndo, em direção ao andar de treinamento.

Natasha apenas balançou a cabeça novamente antes de ir até sua mesa, achando que veria Scarlett de volta ali muito mais cedo do que ela imaginava.

NOTA: Ficou curtinho? Sim, ficou, mas eu gostei de escrever? Claro! Eu realmente amo escrever coisas da Scarpelly com a Natasha, porque amo a relação delas sahsauhasuhau  Meu plano é, mesmo que fiquem pequenos, eu vou fazendo esses continhos assim que eles chegarem. Vai ser um pequeno exercício pra mim. Vamos ver o quanto isso dura hehehe PS: Achei que com essa lista eu fosse focar mais na parte de ação/heroísmo, mas logo no primeiro já faço algo mais calmo e mundano, acontece lol

[theindescribable1]

YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MY BOYYY

Shshsghshshsjsgshahdgjahdha thank youuu I love himmm! This is going to be saved forever in my fanart album, thank you and goodbye 💕

I have drawn one of @theindescribable1’s OCs hehehehee >:]

[the-laridian]

Thank you for tagging me @swoljarjar

Favorite Color: Royal blue, emerald green, golden yellow, crimson & scarlet

Currently reading: more like currently writing amirite? srsly

Last song: Hold My Hand, Hold My Heart by the Chantrellines

Last movie: last month, Lord of the Rings trilogy

Last series: I drew a blank on this until I remembered I had MST3K "Agent for H.A.R.M." on in the background while I did some needlework earlier this week

Current Craving: I'm good right now, thanks

Tea or coffee: coffee in the morning, decaf iced tea in the afternoon

Currently working on: I got the lemon curd made, the meringues are in the oven, the lemon cake will be up next, I just finished 2 more Christmas ornaments for 2024 and I'm on track to make the last 3 (of 12) today, which'll be nice, then play some Fallout 76 and also I'm writing in between all of these things

No pressure tags: @bokatan @bleumanouche @the-lastcall @galaxycunt @gayafsatan @darkfire1177@happyhappysparkle @throwbackjoe @fuzzyizmit

[emilysidhe]

MST3Knitathon, watching the top 100 episodes of Mystery Science Theater from bottom to top while knitting:

70. Episode 505 The Magic Voyage of Sinbad

Content Warning: The episode's film contains racist depictions of Indian people.

Summary: In the 1950s, the Soviet Union made a series of films to celebrate Russian and other incorporated territories' culture by turning stories from Slavic or Scandanavian myths and folklore into technicolor cinema extravaganzas. These were later cut and dubbed for American audiences. The original versions are apparently genuine film classics and it's arguably a display of ugly American ignorance to make fun of them. But I would argue the cut and dubbed versions are fair game, especially this one, in which the importers, in the midst of the Cold War, decided to try to hide the Russian origin by dubbing the titular hero Sadko, mythological hero with his own Russian opera, as Arabian Nights hero Sinbad the Sailor and just pretending that all the very Russian scenes are taking place in medieval Iraq.

"Sinbad" has returned from his first voyages around the world, but has nothing to show for it as he as given all his treasures away to the poor, save for his harp. He finds that while his home city prospers, the people are unhappy because all the wealth is being hoarded by rich merchants. "Sinbad" decides to bring happiness to the city by launching a new voyage to find and bring back the mythical Bluebird of Happiness, but he has no money to finance his trip. The Sea King's daughter hears him singing of his dream and helps him catch magical golden fish to fund his voyage. They have many adventures sailing around the world from Iceland to India to Egypt, but cannot find the bird. Finally, "Sinbad" realizes that he must build his own happiness in his own city, but he must honor the Sea King by playing his harp in his undersea court before he will be allowed to return home.

MST3K lore or notable moments: It's a rare episode where someone leaves the theater during the movie, as Crow is inspired by Sinbad and decides to go out the airlock in search of his own adventures. He cannot control his added thrusters and winds up crashing back into the theater during a later film segment. There's also a fun meta-joke in the last sketch as Joel makes a hand-puppet of the catfish from the undersea scene, and Tom and Crow can tell that it's not real - but being puppets who believe themselves to be real robots, they are unable to conceptualize what a puppet is and react like they're seeing a reality-breaking Lovecraftian horror.

What do I think about its place on the list? See, this is why I was so hard on Agent for H.A.R.M. last episode - it's on the list next to gems like this! Every one of the so-called "Russo-Finnish films" (though really only one that they covered was a Russian-Finnish collaboration; the rest, including this, are simply Russian) that MST3K does are absolute delights! Genuinely beautiful spectacles that - between the fairy-tale logic of the stories that read as bizarre to Americans unfamiliar with the original legends, and the sub-par dialogue introduced by the American dubs - are also goofy enough to be easy riffs. Like the Gameras, this one is ranked relatively low because others of its category are ranked higher, but I agree that this is the comparatively least fun of the "Russo-Finnish" films, and you can't put them all in the top fifty. An absolute blast of a watch, but I won't argue for a higher rank because I know that better in this category is coming.

[vgtrackbracket]

Video Game Track Bracket Round 1

The Dreams Begin from Cultist Simulator

vs.

India from No One Lives Forever 2: A Spy in H.A.R.M.'s Way

No propaganda was submitted for either track.

If you want your propaganda reblogged and added to future polls, please tag it as propaganda or otherwise indicate this!

[theindescribable1]

Hmmm I wonder why you like drawing Zuix 🤔🤔🤔

Anyways, THANKSSSS YIPPEEE ZUIX :D

Im obsessed with drawing other peoples ocs

@sunnyboi3 lovely sun!! Augh, I've been wanting to draw them for awhile!!! I'll probaly draw them digitally soon, but yknow

@theindescribable1 and of course, zuix. Hehe