#The real starting point is attempting to make a coherent story for her without it sounding stupid LOL

[toasteaa]

i love eclair’s blue 💙 but also toast omg, your reblog of the post mentioning shyness when it comes to oc talk is soooo cute to me because i have a similar shyness when it comes to asking youuuu about your oc !! ^^; on my end, it’s like . . “aa . . hiiii toast 🍞 can i sit here and listen to your eclair thoughts . . no . . i don’t know which . . just any . .” YOU KNOOOWWW

EVEEVEE I KNOOOOOWWWWW TRUST ME I KNOOOOWWWWWWWW ☹️😫😫😫😫 There are always so many things that I want to talk about when it comes to Eclair but I'm forcing myself to stay silent every time....part of it is because I'm shy and the other part of it is because there is so much intrinsic lore that has been developing in the background that is both beat for beat canon to the existing story and lore of genshin and also WILDLY non-canon and HIGHLY dependent on you all knowing every single brain thread that has lead me to making that bit of lore...

Genuinely, Eclair's lore varies from "she was raised by her aunt Monet after her father took up work in the Fortress of Meropide" to "hey did you know that her maternal line isn't entirely human?" AND LIKE. HOW DO I EXPLAIN THAT. THE FIRST ONE CAN BE EXPLAINED, IT'S IN THE UNLOCKABLE STORY THINGS THAT ARE PART OF HER CHARACTER PROFILE BUT HER ANCESTRY??? No, we will sit here and get through her surface level lore FIRST. We will learn more about her and her struggles before she became the Head Detective and then go from there.

The problem is...IDK WHERE TO EVEN *START* -

[beauty-and-passion]

And finally... the Ithaca Saga

We did it. We reached the end.

And we did it this year, in 2024! I suppose the moral of the story is: if you're truly passionate about something (and have big plans), you can do anything.

And by "anything", I don't mean just "finishing the concept album": I mean fighting against weather, bad luck and probably the gods themselves, to do what you planned.

I imagined everything, except that Mr. Jorge's plan for the final stream of his entire album, was to go to the goddamn island of Ithaca and stream there.

But, you know, it was right. It felt right. It was a very poetic choice, to bring a modern version of the Odyssey back home. To let the musical reach its artistic birthplace. And it's even more impactful that it wasn't just Odysseus' voice to (figuratively) return home: it was the entire story, through the voices of all artists involved.

However, since it's the Odyssey we're talking about, the trip to Ithaca couldn't have been simple either: what kind of boring story would it be, if everything went smoothly from start to end?

Greece's weather is overall warm, even in winter. However, there are the occasional storms/typhoons/rainfalls that last for a couple days and drown or destroy parts of the cities. And Jorge faced them not at the end of his trip, not in the middle: at the beginning, just in time to stop him from reaching Ithaca too easily.

And I believe this is all Ithaca's influence, because something similar happened to my father and brother. Last summer, they were supposed to visit Ithaca as well, but first found no available ferries, then the rain started to pour down, their car died on the nearby island, there was no available mechanic and when they finally found one, their car got fixed just in time for my brother to go to Athens and get his flight back home.

Sooo... it looks like Ithaca doesn't want visitors at all, no matter if it's summer or winter, and it does everything to keep people away - or at least, to make them have a small personal Odyssey before reaching it. Also because, according to the last shorts from Jorge, it looks like the weather changed into the usual warm, greek temperatures now. And he seems to enjoy his stay too, so I suppose the true obstacle is just reaching the island.

But enough about Ithaca, let's talk about Ithaca: there were huge expectations for this Saga. This is the final one, this is supposed to wrap up Odysseus' story and the last loose threads.

And it does. It takes its time to wrap up the last characters and it does it organically and coherently. There are no OOC moments - and this is a huge point for me, because my main complaint in the last Saga was that Odysseus moved too quickly from "let's try to discuss" to "stabbing time": here you can see and understand why he gets so angry and he even takes a few lines to further clarify his emotions.

The pace of this Saga is good too: there are no dead moments and the songs move smoothly from one event to the next. It surely helps that they cover a period of 24 hours more or less, but still.

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The Challenge: this is the first time we actually hear Penelope. Not the one from Odysseus' memories, not a siren, not a vision, but the real one.

And the real one is truly the perfect woman for a clever man like Odysseus: she's intelligent, she's resourceful, she reads the signs and does the right things to buy more time. That's what she did in the Odyssey too, so it's nice to see this trait of her character here as well.

And even though the events here happen for slightly different reasons (in the Odyssey, the bow challenge was just another attempt to buy more time, while here it's something Penelope proposes right after the storm, as if she feels things are going to change very soon and her husband is coming back), it still doesn't sound forced or unnatural. It fits Epic's narrative, without damaging or going against the spirit of the original work. That's how you do a good rewrite.

One last thing about Penelope: I love how, with one single song, we can see her pride, her strength, her cleverness... and her love too. She herself says she didn't expect to end up like this, but for love, she's ready to do anything. Even waiting 20 years for a husband she doesn't even know if he's still alive, buying him time in every possible way and keeping on hold 108 dangerous, younger men who need just an excuse to rise against her and her family.

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Hold Them Down: what did I say about that excuse?

Jokes aside, this is some powerful villain song and I ADORE it. The rhythm? Great, majestic, terrifying. The drums and the chorus are chilling.

But even more than them, it's the entire song, to be terrifying. And not because of its themes: it's because of the details.

Antinous doesn't just say "We will kill Telemachus and rape Penelope": he describes step by step what he wants to do. He presents a clear, precise plan of what he wants to do and how he wants to do it.

That's what makes it so chilling: how careful he is with the details. How he pondered about everything. His willingness to do all the things he says, without an ounce of doubt or fear.

And what's even more terrifying, is how Antinous' words are welcomed by the chorus of the other Suitors. There is no coldness, no shock, no fear: there is this palpable, growing excitement, that grows stronger the more he describes his plan. The chorus accompanies his words, anticipates them eagerly: they cannot wait to hear what he wants to do next.

And when Antinous says Penelope will be at their mercy after Telemachus' death, silence drops for a moment and the line: "And then we'll" is welcomed by pure silence. This perfectly shows how all Suitors held their breath, for one second, waiting for Antinous to say it out loud, to push his plan further and say what they were all thinking: without a man in the house, they could've had access to the queen's bedroom and body. They were waiting to hear it. They wanted, needed to hear more.

This is how you make a great villain song. This is how you build a terrifying villain: it's not just Antinous, who can stir up an entire crowd, by pushing on their primordial instincts. But it's the crowd itself, that welcomes the terrible images he proposes, because they were already in their minds. They were already thinking all of that: all they needed was someone to propose it out loud.

Of course Odysseus goes into full rampage mode after that: who wouldn't?

One last detail I appreciated a lot: the allusion about how the prince was on a diplomatic mission. Sure he was, that's how Odyssey starts: Telemachus leaves Ithaca to search for more news about his father, visits Sparta, Menelaus tells him about the Troyan horse and so on. It was a nice reference.

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Odysseus: a song better known as "Odysseus cleans his house from 20 years of filth".

I've already talked about the first lines and I appreciate them a lot, not just because they further clarify Odysseus' thoughts and actions, but also because they imply he spent some time in Ithaca before this moment, enough to see how the Suitors treated his palace. There's a huge lack of Argo, the only dog who lived something like 20+ years and died right after seeing his owner one last time, but I suppose that his dog's death would've sent him into ultraviolence mode instantly.

I lovelovelove the ensemble chanting Odysseus' name. It's solemn, it's ineluctable, it reminds me of old church hymns and I am a sucker for that stuff.

But I am also a very bad person, so when I listen to Eurymachus saying "hey, what if you spare us and welcome the world with open arms instead" and he gets slaughtered with a "no" as a reply, I laugh.

Yes, I am a bad person.

Okay, fine, we can acknowledge how this wasn't what Polites meant with open arms and how no one has been able to fully understand his mentality... but also, it works perfectly to show how Odysseus changed. In the past, he would've been tricked by these words - and it would've led to him losing more people he loves.

But after going through so much shit, he's not willing to trust others anymore. The time of open arms is gone forever. As he says, "And as long as you're around / My family's fate is left unknown".

And so, it's ruthlessness time. Because, as Poseidon told him, ruthlessness is mercy upon ourselves. And Odysseus would find peace, only if he gets rid of all the dangers around.

Because come on, we know the Suitors would've found a way to still try to kill or hurt him and/or his family. They don't play fair, they said themselves. Sparing them would've only hurt Odysseus in the long run.

And if we consider the time period, killing all the opponents was all Odysseus could do, to regain control over Ithaca.

Think about it: he has been away for 20 years, leaving the island without an adult male ruler. Of course this led all other, younger men to become restless and prideful and do things they would never do, without a strong leader: like trashing the leader's palace or trying to hurt his family.

Odysseus' only way to regain control was to show everyone he was still the strongest. And the only way he could do it, was to get rid of all the people who were undermining his authority. This way, he got rid of the dangerous ones and taught everyone else a lesson: do not even try to oppose my authority again, because I am still the strongest man of this land - and therefore, the only leader.

__________________

I Can't Help but Wonder: so, right after showing everyone he was still the ruler and the stronger and so ruthless, Odysseus takes his time to softly listen to his son and tell him how much he loves him.

No, I am not crying, I got this song stuck in my eye.

But seriously: the softness, the love, the affection he holds for his son. And how this is all beautifully portrayed through Jorge's voice.

I know others already said it, but the way he modulates his voice is incredible. He really sounds older here, an old man talking to this young boy who is so confused and full of doubts about his own strength... and like the father figure Telemachus always wanted, Odysseus reassures him: he's sure his son is strong, he understands his pain and the troubles he experienced. And he loves him, with the unconditional love a father has for his child.

I said I am not crying.

The Athena part has been a surprise: honestly, I feared Jorge forgot and we would never see a closure for them, but we actually got it!

And it was a very good one: Athena asks if there is a world where empathy is stronger than fighting. A world where people can understand each other more and not always resort to violence and ruthlessness.

There's an implicit invitation in her words: would Odysseus help her pursue this world? Would he still be her warrior and work for this new, greater tomorrow?

And Odysseus refuses. He's too old, too tired. This world is too far beyond his reach. We are still trying to reach it and we are getting glimpses of it in our everyday lives.

Athena, thanks to her immortality, can live long enough to see this far-away future, but Odysseus? Maybe in the past, when he was younger, he would've loved to see it. Now he's had enough of adventures. All he wants is to finally see his wife again.

And Athena proves her growth, by that simple "very well". You can hear a smile in her tone. She's not angry at him, she's not resentful: Odysseus made his choice and she's okay with it. Their paths divide forever, not with bitterness but with understanding.

__________________

Would You Fall in Love with Me Again: better known as "I am not crying, I said I am not, I just got the Odyssey stuck in my eye".

Odysseus reveals his wife all the awful things he did, he insists he's not the same man - Tiresias told him too, he's not the same kind and gentle husband he was and he will never be anymore: he's a man marked by hardships, by the war, by the world.

By saying it, he reminds me of the war veterans, the people who faced horrors and survived, to come back as changed people. Odysseus is one of them: the war left a mark on him and the following 20 years deepened that mark, made new ones, scars and terrors that will haunt him forever.

So of course he's not the same and he will never be: life and its hardships changed him too much to come back to the naive, younger man he was.

And yet, despite everything, Odysseus is still the same man. And Penelope proves it, through the bed trial. Again, I love how it has been used here: in the Odyssey, it was Penelope's way to be sure the weird beggar-looking guy who just killed everyone truly was her husband. Here it's her way to prove to him first that yes, he still is her husband. He may be rougher, more ruthless, filled with more regrets and anger than before... but he's still him. And she doesn't care what he did: all she cares about is that he's finally back.

Does that make Penelope a bad person too? Personally, I think it makes her more human. She spent 20 years imprisoned in her own house, with 108 possible predators trashing her place, desperately trying to buy more time for a husband she didn't even know if he was still alive, all while trying to hold the predators down as long as possible, so they wouldn't hurt her or Telemachus. Can we really blame her, if she doesn't care about what her husband did to come back, as long as he's finally back?

__________________

A truly passionate project

Epic the musical is a project overflowing with love. Every artist, every voice, every song is filled with passions and emotions and they shine here, in the final Saga, more than ever. Jorge's voice has been incredible, the way he went from sounding like an old father, to a younger man again. How we shifted from love and affection, to anger.

Penelope? Amazing, brilliant, incredible. All female voices are A+ and she's no exception.

The instrumentals? Always on point, they highlight the emotions and the mood of every song perfectly.

All the artists? Incredibly fitting, superb voices. Each of them did an amazing job with their characters, each of them brought their own spin to it and made them iconic. I don't think we'll easily forget characters like Hermes, Circe, Calypso, Athena, Scylla, Tiresias or Zeus. I know I won't.

And yes, I will fondly keep this version of the Odyssey close to my chest. It's so hard to find good modern versions, now that I found one, I won't forget it so easily.

__________________

The end?

The concept album is done, but that doesn't mean Epic is over. Jorge already said he wants to make videogames and, hopefully, give the musical some live adaptation.

So it's now right to say this is the end: this is the first step of a bright future for this series. And I personally can't wait for what it will bring.

In the meantime, as always, do not forget to stream the Ithaca Saga (and the whole musical for that matter), support Jorge and show love to all the people involved: they deserve it. Every last bit of love. It would be only fair, considering how much love and commitment they poured into this project.

That's why I would like to thank them all again for their hard job. It has been a truly wonderful journey and I can't wait for what 2025 will bring them - and us.

[g5mlp]

imo, what do you think G5 does better than G4, and vice versa

G4 started on a very strong foundation and was the result of a coherent vision being executed with a minimum of corporate meddling. It also was given a lot of time to fully develop its world, and the show's production wasn't transferred to a completely different creative team at any point. It's hard to beat that.

G5 was developed first and foremost with the intention of producing a good story for a good movie that could perform well in theaters, and creating the rest of the franchise seems to have been kind of secondary to that (who cares about the consequences?). Obviously, it didn't get to be released in theaters, but the movie is still probably the strongest part of G5 so far. I haven't watched the G4 movie yet but I think most people who've watched both consider the G5 movie to be better.

G4 benefits a lot from its main characters. Twilight is a know-it-all and she basically allows the show to introduce whatever random advanced magic they want, which is pretty convenient. Pinkie gets to break the fourth wall. All of them have strong unique personalities and are larger than life, and it's great fodder for episodes that explore their flaws and how they handle new or difficult situations. G5 doesn't benefit nearly as much from this kind of energy.

On the other hand, G5's main characters are less likely to get into an argument with each other or get annoyed by each other. They're chill and generally seem more like real people than over-the-top cartoon characters. I think the conflict in early episodes of Friendship Is Magic was for me a bit frustrating to sit through at times, so G5 generally having less intense character conflicts is not necessarily a downside for me.

Some of Make Your Mark's character portrayals are confusing to me. In particular, Sunny's ultimate ambition was achieved in A New Generation and she wasn't given any meaningful goals or motivation to replace that, and Zipp's detective cosplay is shown without any hint of irony or any lampshading, as though she were actually doing a good job. I think Zipp will end up being hired by Hitch by the end of Chapter 6, but they could have picked a better way to get there, like if they properly showed her learning how to be a detective instead of just having her bring out her pointless magnifying glass or recording voice memos. I don't think G4 had these kinds of issues, and it was generally clear what the characters' motivations and desires were.

G4 has better writing, pacing and humor, especially compared to Make Your Mark. There are a number of scenes in the latter where the plot doesn't progress and the characters accomplish nothing.

I liked "Dear Princess Celestia". It seems to have been generally a good way to make sure that each episode actually had a meaningful moral. Make Your Mark is a bit messy on this front, as are some later G4 episodes. I think in some cases Make Your Mark attempted to have two characters independently realize the same moral, but it didn't seem very justified or meaningful.

Make Your Mark's big ambitious idea seems to have been to put Opaline and Misty into basically every episode, even though Opaline stays in the castle and can usually only interact with Misty. It works, and the portrayal of Misty is very interesting and not something G4 was able to do, but there are a few episodes where it's just an unnecessary distraction that doesn't meaningfully progress the plot.

I think it was probably a mistake for them to have two concurrently running shows that needed to be coordinated together, even if it was necessary in order to allow MLP to have some sort of presence outside of Netflix. The need to avoid continuity issues produced weird results like Sparky not appearing in Tell Your Tale until September 2022 even though he was introduced in Make Your Mark in May 2022. Tell Your Tale does demonstrate you can tell a good story in 5 minutes, but it seems to be held back by having to be secondary to Make Your Mark. They don't seem to introduce new recurring locations, for instance, and there are still a bunch of continuity issues in spite of the efforts to avoid creating them. Having concurrently airing shows on YouTube and on Discovery Family worked in G4 because the Equestria Girls shorts were literally in an alternate universe and couldn't really affect the Friendship Is Magic episodes.

G4's music has a certain charm to it, or at least the well-remembered songs do. Sure, it's Daniel Ingram using the same instruments over and over (aside from the orchestral arrangements in seasons 8 and 9), but he didn't otherwise restrict himself to a particular genre or style in his songwriting. The music of Tell Your Tale and Make Your Mark is consistent in terms of production quality, but maybe too consistent. All of it is made to sound like it could have been on the radio in the last 10 years, and some of the songs sound a little too much like they were precisely modeled on, you know, "I Gotta Feeling", "All I Want For Christmas Is You" or "Uptown Funk". A New Generation's music is easily more memorable, but it's harder to compare since it only has a few songs and they're so qualitatively different from everything before and after.

G4 tends to miss the mark when it tries to incorporate allegories for social issues, and it doesn't help that (at least in season 1) they made Pinkie sing about the respective situations. A New Generation does it quite well, but the rest of G5 basically doesn't bring up those themes again (aside from Make Your Mark Chapter 1, and the less said about it the better).

A New Generation's 3D animation is beautiful, but the way they got Atomic Cartoons to use Boulder Media's leftovers was clearly not very good. If Hasbro had kept the animation in-house they might well have avoided some of the silly production problems that Make Your Mark ended up with. The show being 3D also evidently massively restricted what locations they could explore and what non-pony species could be shown, and it was probably pretty expensive too. I think it's probably for the best that Make Your Mark isn't going to be the main show in 2024. Friendship Is Magic's animation did not suffer from this kind of weird inherent logistical flaw. It was simple and not detailed but looked fine, and was appropriate for the resources that they had to produce the show.

I know some people still hate how Tell Your Tale looks but it doesn't seem to be something that Hasbro was ever concerned about, oddly enough, given that the show looks exactly the way that it was internally pitched within Boulder Media in 2019 (even though they didn't end up making the show themselves). I personally don't mind it, although it looked a little weird to me at first. It's nice that they tried something different and gave the ponies stylized and varied body shapes, which G4 didn't have much of aside from, like, Bulk Biceps.

G5's first-party toys generally seem to look better and more show-accurate than G4's, but G4 seems to have had a lot more variety and just generally more stuff in the toy line.

The G5 tie-in video games generally seem to be better and more fleshed out than most of the G4 ones (aside from My Little Pony World, in which nothing of importance happens).

Overall, I think G4 would win in a fight. G5 is only two years old, though, so maybe if we wait a few more years it will be a more even match. Or not.

This post represents my own opinions and not necessarily those of the other admins of this blog. I may be biased or wrong and there may be gaps in my understanding. ~overcast

[morning-sun-brah]

Okay so I've just GOTTA know... how the hell do you write the way you do?? I haven't been able to get sucked into any written work since high school, trauma brain and all. I used to live in books so it's been hell, but your writing got me back into reading, and makes it so I can get lost into that little world again, which I've craved but been able to have for like... so long. Writing is something I've always been into, but I let my fear of failure and need for perfection stop me. Just... do you have any advice for beginners?? It would mean the world to me, but I understand if it's an annoying ask! Thanks for reading no matter what!

Well I am just a mess reading this (in the best way possible).

First of all, thank you so much omfg. And of COURSE it isn't annoying! This is so flattering I'm about to cry my dude.

As far as tips on writing, I feel like I am not the person to ask because I'm just this little weirdo on the internet who likes turtles lol. But!! In an attempt to try and give real advice here is my response... and it got a little wordy so it's all under the break lmaoooo.

~Gin's rambling attempt to give writing advice~

Practice! Literally the only reason I can string coherent words together is because I've been doing this as a hobby for like two whole decades.

Also!! Read! Consuming other fics and books really helps. Sometimes you find a way of saying something that sticks with you. Sometimes you sit and think "I would have done it this way/said it this way." Sometimes you come out on the other end and go "Wow I am a hack that was amazing." Sometimes you finish something and go "Wow that was fucking terrible I'm amazing." Sometimes you read something and it fires off your brain, and you are left itching to write your own story. But however you feel, it's all GOOD FOR WRITING. It helps you grow! It literally helps you find your voice!

Other little things; When I write, I truly immerse myself. I am playing out in cinema format what is happening in the "scene." How is this person reacting? How do they look- down to facial expressions. How are they feeling? Is this something they would say? (would they fucking say that??? is something I think to myself every time I open a doc) And when I write it all down, I try my very best to convey that "scene" that played out in my head. I try to capture that character's voice, their mannerisms, their habits.

Does this even make sense? I sure hope so.

Also, flow. Make sure we're moving right along. Keep track of where hands, legs, and torsos are. If they were sitting when the scene started, and you need them standing to kiss or fight or do a thumb war, at some point you need to make sure you say they stood up. If a hand was on a cheek, it can't suddenly be on an ankle without telling the reader what happened.

I also just think adding little details helps with immersion. When we talk to people, we don't just stand around. We fidget. We pick our nails or scratch our arms or shuffle our feet. All those little details can add to that immersion (or I think so, I'm no expert). "He blushed and rubbed the back of his neck before saying..." - Wow, what an awkward little shit. "They scrunched their nose and gave a near-violent eye-roll" - Oh ok they are annoyed! "She shifted her feet and replied"- cool she's being a person, I shift my feet too, neato.

Anyway, nothing I wrote 20 years ago is as good as it is now. I'm highly convinced that I'll think the same thing in another 10 years, about anything I've published recently. But it is getting better, and it's because I keep at it. Having friends in the fandom and beta readers really helps. Make sure you find someone who you know will be positive but honest. And remember, YOU are always going to be your own worst critic.

God why did anyone ever let me have access to a computer. Why the FUCK is this so long? Does it even make sense? Jfc, I'm going to post it and eat a fucking cookie.

I believe in you anon. Also, I love you and thank you so much for making my whole week. I'm going to be so obnoxious about this shit, everyone expect to hear from my ass an annoying amount (kidding, but seriously I'm so fucking flattered thank you so much. This kind of shit makes me wonder what the fuck you're all reading because I swear I am just a silly gal with seasonal depression who needs a haircut).

((Also, anon, I wish you nothing but the best. Take care of yourself, be kind to yourself, and know that I am sending you like a million hugs))

[quincywillows]

Short n' Sweet n' Sound: Crafting a Narrative for SC6

My fellow Carpenters, where are y'all at?!

Now having had SNS for a few days (and thoroughly enjoying it), I thought I would share how I rearranged the album to give it a bit more of a coherent storyline. If you're a listener like me, you may also have been just a tad disappointed by the curation of the track list -- it's a collection of really enjoyable songs, not a bad one in the bunch, but it lacked the cohesive, strong emotional through-line that I thought really put EICS over the top.

So, using the pieces we had, I attempted to reframe the narrative into something slightly easier to follow. Disclaimer that obviously this is not Sab's vision and I respect her approach to the album, and also double disclaimer that in making up this narrative I am ignoring every single "real life" situation the lyrics may be referring to (which is how I prefer my pop music anyway).

So let's go! Here is my reimagined narrative for Short n' Sweet:

The Premise

To start, I wanted to focus in on the emotions portrayed throughout the album and find where I thought the "heart" of this witty, sometimes bombastic album was. That of course ends up being Sabrina, but I was thinking specifically about this character she has created in the music videos for this era -- this confident, clever, unapologetically chaotic woman who isn't afraid to mess with men for fun (and if a little bloodshed happens in the middle, well... oops?) I picture her tough as nails on the outside, little patience for BS, convinced she has it all figured out and that nothing will be able to get the best of her, because she's already worked to stay three steps ahead.

All of this gets flipped upside down -- and our album begins -- when fate, or the universe, or whatever you believe intervenes and drops a bomb on our independent, unflappable heroine: a man. No, no, THE man. A man unlike all the others she's tricked before, who actually sweeps her off her feet and -- God forbid -- makes her want to make him and her fall in love.

The Track List

Track 1 - Juno: So our album opens here, bright and sparkly and starry-eyed. I kind of view this song as our intro into the story as she's met this mystery man -- let's call him The Lover -- and suddenly she's feeling things she hasn't in a long time, or maybe ever. This dude has her daydreaming, fantasizing, thinking about these mundane things like romance and motherhood, concepts that are foreign and fascinating to her. She also is jumping the gun and fast-forwarding majorly, kind of suffering from love at first sight syndrome. The chemistry between these two hasn't truly ignited yet, but the heroine can feel it there, and that is both thrilling and terrifying. Maybe she can have it, and still come out in control. She's done it before. But is it worth the risk?

Who knows?

Track 2 - Bed Chem: There is, naturally, another motivator playing a role in the will-they-won't-they here -- hormones. And, as our heroine just confessed on the opening track, she is THIRSTY. It's that magnetic pull that despite her better instincts causes her to cave to their mutual attraction. She doesn't know much about The Lover just yet, but she does know they have sparks, and she wants to act on it. She's strong enough not to get too attached. A girl has to satisfy her needs, no?

Track 3 - Espresso: Thus, our heroine and The Lover have hooked up, and now are toying with the idea of being a "thing." Our heroine is at her highest peak of confidence here, as she feels she has this guy wrapped around her finger, and oh, doesn't he look so cute that way? This song chronicles the honeymoon phase of their new romance, empowering her by how she has this guy on the hook... but also lowering her defenses without realizing it. She has learned at this point that he has an ex -- one that "don't do it for ya" anymore -- but she's choosing to gloss over that fact with these silky smooth grooves.

However, this track serves as an early turning point, foreshadowing some of the very pitfalls she's going to confront in the coming tracks -- right now, she can't relate to desperation. Later...

Track 4 - Please Please Please: With that first turn, we also get our first glimpse of true vulnerability from the heroine with PPP. At this point, a few little orange flags are starting to pop up in the relationship with The Lover -- maybe he's getting a little vague with details on where he's hanging out late at night all of a sudden. Maybe our heroine's righthand gals have noticed he's been texting someone a lot, someone who isn't named "SC" in his phone. But whether she likes it or not, whether she realizes it or not, our heroine has fallen in love, and she's putting up a big confident front that she has it all under control. She doesn't want to hear the warnings of her loved ones; they just don't "get" The Lover the way she does. But this song cracks the glass a bit, betraying her internal insecurities -- both for her heart and her well-constructed persona and ego.

Please, please, please, don't prove 'em right...

Track 5 - Good Graces: Okay, so, that moment of authentic emotion was extremely embarrassing. Enough of that! Our heroine immediately turns the bad bitch confidence back on the instant it starts to seem like the trickling of bad news might be true, giving The Lover one last warning. He has the best thing he'll ever have right now with her, and he better cherish it, because she can turn on a dime so fast. She's done it before. Hasn't he heard about all those unfortunate players from "Feather?" No? Anyway, the message is clear -- it's simple, he just needs to stay in her good graces. An ultimatum will make him get back into shape, won't it? She isn't sure, she's never really done this actually-caring thing before...

Track 6 - Coincidence: Surprise! The rumors were true. The Lover wasn't over his ex -- the one she learned about during "Espresso," but chose to brush aside under the guise of arrogance and wishful manifesting. So The Lover has split, leaving our heroine to process her first real genuine heartbreak for the first time... but not before she stomps out the story to all of her friends in a self-righteous, sarcastic biting fury. The campfire style sing-along vibe here brings to mind a good vent gossip sesh with your girls, all of you trashing the no-good loser to support the scorned friend. That's where the heroine is at right now -- still somewhat in shock, rehashing the details to anyone who will listen as if it's ridiculous, nowhere near ready to process what actually happened.

Track 7 - Sharpest Tool: Once the cheerful choir of her friends has left, our heroine is left to process the heartbreak by herself for the first time on the record. She's starting to acknowledge some of the red flags about The Lover that were always there, but also getting glimmers of self-reflection in how she mishandled it -- how she bought his faux reassurances just like he bought her faux arrogance, how they never actually talked about the more complicated aspects of their romance. Another soft, fragile down tempo moment to showcase a true emotional beat for the heroine.

If that was casual, then I'm an idiot...

Track 8 - Taste: Okay, but forget all of that again, because it felt terrible. For one thing, the heroine has never done anything wrong in her life for the record (yes, including those maybe-potentially-no-longer-living-men), and this is obviously everyone else's fault. Anger is much, much easier to sit with and process (or rather not process), so that's what she's going to lean on for a while. She's over it... but, just remember, she had him for a moment and she's going to linger forever. And she's completely over it... but dang, doesn't she leave quite an impression! Sue her!

And singing 'bout it don't mean I care!!!

Track 9 - Dumb & Poetic: The anger is start to ebb, leaving nothing but the numbness and ache behind -- but first, our heroine needs to get her last digs out. The musical shift to acoustic down-tempo reflects that slow shift in mentality, transitioning from heat to hurt, but don't think that makes her tongue any less sharp. She unloads the clip of her disses towards The Lover on this final fiery track.

Track 10 - Don't Smile: Okay, screw it. She's sad. The heroine, ice queen, queen of playing boys like Nintendo, has been played. And the worst part is, she's pretty sure it wasn't even intentional. The Lover was too dumb, too earnest and impulsive, to even mean to have hurt her. Somehow, that's almost worse. She wasn't an intentional get -- she was just a moment in time. She was already there, but it doesn't matter, and that's what sucks. It sucks that she's being ripped apart at the seams over this, when she convinced herself the whole time she had it under control, and he truly seems to not give one damn about their (short) history. It's not fair. What's the point of love, anyway? How did she get into this mess?

Track 11 - Slim Pickins: At this point, even the mere prospect of love and romance feels exhausting. If even this perfect guy, The Lover, wasn't the right match, then what hope is there? The heck of it all is that the heroine still finds she wants more -- she wants to recreate that feeling she had back in the days of "Juno" and "Espresso." It feels impossible, like it will take a lifetime to find it, and she's going to be bitching and moaning the whole way there. Even so...

Track 12 - Lie To Girls: If our heroine got anything out of this whirlwind experience, it was a hard lesson. Yes, men suck... but she played herself, too. She ignored the warning signs, she glossed over the red flags until they were sticky and drenched. In protecting her own heart and trying to maintain her confident shell, she also let it go too far. She didn't get the insight and truth she needed before she fell in love. So maybe that's the takeaway -- that love is possible, potentially, but she needs to listen to herself better next time. Not just the hormones and "bed chem." That ardent defender she is for her girlfriends, her sisters and her mother and the girl outside the club getting her tarot cards read; she needs to be that protector for herself. Maybe if she does that, next time, things will be different.

Maybe. For now, our heroine just needs to sit with the hurt and take the time to heal, slowly but surely. Maybe this time, when the cracks became faded scars reinforced in gilded gold like kintsugi, she'll be a bit more steeled -- and ready to soften to truly sweet when the Right Lover truly comes along.

[systemhead]

I am trying to write my first long-form essay in years. I am using this to guilt/embarrass myself into doing so. It is typically ill-advised to attempt to write anything involving soul searching on a Sunday.

It should really only be about one thing, but the rough draft form is continually spinning around three things that somehow feel connected, broadly:

It feels like history no longer exists anywhere, for anyone. And yet, I want to remember things, specifically my aunt. Through a sheer overwhelming volume of thoughts and discussions, things will somehow be lent weight in reality, keeping them tethered to it and unable to drift away from it forever.

The internet and tech utopianism are 100% dead. And I think I'm simultaneously mourning it and feeling mature enough to bid it good riddance.

I am obsessing over myself. This is symptomatic of a person who has felt very self-repressed and lonely for long stretches of their adult life. I still feel that way, but I'm also overindulging in it (though not as much as I once did). I would love to erase this aspect of myself more than anything else.

Keep reading (?)

The key is this: I wanted to write something long form. About my aunt, about myself, about the past, and about how much time I spend thinking about life without really living it. On one level you might call it a “capstone” relating to my first 10 years of real consciousness, ages 15 to 25. I wanted to say something about my issues and fixations. How all the things that I am most capable of analyzing, itemizing, and generally critiquing in the world etc., are things that I first overanalyze as issues or failures in myself.

One, for example: I notice that other people don’t rehearse their answers to potential questions a lot. I do. In an exercise that I find “fun” but that is also almost perfectly emblematic of how narcissistic I could be read as (and, yes, we know that one form of narcissism is endless self-pity and wallowing in failures and false starts in the long form.)

The “exercise” is hardly complicated: I imagine myself answering incredibly generous softball questions in a sort of high-brow interview show [think the sort of thing you watch authors do at universities or New Yorker panels].

It’s not as bad as “How do you manage to be so up-to-date on every major world news story?” or “J., how do you manage to capture so much knowledge and emotional depth in endless run-on sentences?” [jabs at myself]. It prompts me to interrogate how I feel about things separated from all the waves and waves of self-doubt and hatred I usually feel. It's for an "audience" after all. And the big question, the one I imagined in the shower that kicked this whole thing off, feels a little too embarrassing to write down. Still, it pointed in a significant enough direction, thought-wise, that it led me to immediately sit down at the computer and bang together more words in succession than I have in months if not years.

Roughly: "Lore" and "snappy, clever answers" do not constitute knowledge or intelligence. Least of all coherent thought.

Much like naming every senator or state representative currently in office in the U.S. is mistakenly seen as an impressive intellectual feat but doesn't mean anything when it comes to understanding politics, fun facts and baubles don't really point to any real comprehension.

In the past, I shared stories about my aunt like this, as party tricks, as fun toys to impress others, and, eventually, I realized, as totemic signifiers, something that could stand in for me. A card to throw up or a bandanna to flash to say, “Not only do I have a secret, not only am I in the know, but I also have trauma territory claim staked here.”

I will never know her. I will never know her. I will never know her.

She could have made me someone else. And now, I fear that I didn’t pick up the story when I should have because I was afraid of how it would make me feel about myself, which, if anything, feels more accurate than anything now. At heart, I am a born coward and avoid things that cause me discomfort.

It wasn’t until I really began experiencing my own feelings and life in a more complete and comprehensive way that my own perception of the story became something a little more serious, while also being less melodramatic.

Anyway, fun. Still could not write concisely to save my life.

[shihalyfie]

The meaning of the Beast Spirits in Frontier, and what it means to control it

(On request by @digitalgate02​.)

When you think about it, Frontier can be framed as a story of outcasts or misfits having to accept the idea of “changing themselves” in order to become better people, both literally in the sense of embracing physical transformation, and metaphorically in the sense of making attempts to do better. Implicitly, it speaks a lot as to how quickly these kids accept the idea of turning into something else -- perhaps implying as to how ostracized they’ve felt that such a thing instantly sounds appealing -- but it also adds some interesting layers to the concept of the Beast Spirit and how the difficulty of “controlling it” ties into each character’s personal story.

I think a lot of it has to do with the idea that these kids did have inclinations of being selfish or shallow at the beginning -- while they were full of potential to become heroes, they definitely started off as unlikely misfits at the beginning. In that respect, you can see the Beast Spirits arc as a sort of lesson that great power must be used wisely and responsibility...

Believe it or not, our biggest clue to all of this comes from episode 16, Izumi’s episode. It’s not directly stated in words, and the abstract summary of “determination” is passed off as a joke, but looking at the context clues around the episode indicates that’s actually not far off.

The thing is that Calmaramon is depicted as having the hardest time with her Beast Spirit compared to practically about anyone else in the group, and one of the recurring themes about it is that it’s partially because her personality is downright terrible. If you look at the context clues behind the prior episode (15), you’ll notice that while her looks are briefly brought up as an issue there and in this episode, the part that’s really freaking everyone out (and is making everyone worried Izumi will turn out to be the same) is that they actually saw it have an impact on her personality, where she was clearly conscious and able to talk but also indiscriminately destroying everything and enjoying it. At least in the case of Kouji, Takuya, and Junpei, they can be forgiven because they all did their best to keep it under control after the initial fallout, but Ranamon changing into Calmaramon had also involved her becoming someone actively reveling in senseless destruction. When everyone worries that Izumi might turn out like that, they don’t even bring up looks at all, and they all recoil when she does start showing signs of being destructive anyway.

The thing is, the entire rest of the episode puts a massive spotlight on Izumi’s actions of standing up for the Gomamon and empathizing with their loneliness (which, given the contexts added about Izumi’s background and backstory in episodes 8 and 26, are most likely her feeling that the concept of “being isolated from others no matter how much you want to reach them” hit way too hard for her) to the point she puts her foot down to override the boys’ prior plan of chasing the Toucanmon and their Digivices. She actually faces quite a bit of protest from the boys on this issue, and even admits she’s not sure if her own plan will work, but focuses on the idea of doing her best to undo the whirlpool with her abilities -- that is to say, using her power to protect and help others.

This sentiment of “I have to protect everyone” drives Izumi’s actions for the rest of the episode, to the point it’s the only thought consuming her head right before she finds and claims her Beast Spirit. So to make it clear, at the time she claimed it, the thought of “protecting others” was desperately, single-mindedly consuming her head...

...and the contrast is immediately apparent when Shutumon emerges, and the only thing Ranamon cares about is looks.

In other words, the reason the Beast Spirit wasn’t working out for Ranamon/Calmaramon is that she only wanted the Beast Spirit’s power for the sake of pride, vanity, and dominating others, and because of that, she had difficulty controlling it because it resonated with those feelings -- after all, although she wanted to “control” it to the extent of not carrying her all over the place, she was perfectly fine with the part about causing wanton destruction. Izumi, on the other hand, is clearly holding herself back even after her first evolution to Shutumon -- trying to keep a calm head -- and, after all, her entire motivation had been driven by “helping and protecting others” for the whole episode, so she doesn’t want to let this fail on her now, and she keeps that calm head all the way throughout the rest of it.

When we get to the next episode (17), you’ll also notice that one of the first things Blizzarmon (Tomoki) does is actively attempt to restrain himself. If you look back at what Tomoki’s character arc is about, he’d spent the better part of his past being bullied by others and tossed around, so “overpowering the weak” is the last thing Tomoki ever wants to do (especially given the events of this episode, as well). So, having witnessed the potential consequences of the Beast Spirit with the other boys, it stands to reason that Tomoki would want to avoid “hurting others” so much that restraining this would be a strong priority for him. While it’s commented that it does take his personality out of control a bit, the worst it ever gets is that he seems to be overly elated and cheerful about his defeats, but that’s also in line with Tomoki constantly having been pushed down so much during his life that you can imagine he’s enjoying the opportunity to finally be strong and have the spotlight.

But because he hates the concept of bullying and pushing others down so much, it stands to reason that he wouldn’t really have as much of a problem with that.

So when you look back at the prior episodes with the Beast Spirits with this context, you can see it applying there as well. In episode 14, Junpei was spending the better part of the first half of the episode livid at what was happening to his friends -- absolutely pissed at Grottomon for taking Izumi's spirit (and, despite Izumi's doubts, it's pretty apparent he actually does care about it beyond just having a crush on her), and then upset at the idea of being a sitting duck while Agnimon and Wolfmon are getting tossed around. While Junpei initially has trouble keeping the Spirit under control, the exact moment he gets a grip on himself is the moment he reaffirms his determination to fight for the sake of his friends.

Looking back at the other two episodes about rampaging Beast Spirits in episodes 10 and 12, you can also see why the concept applies there as well. It’s interesting how the “worst” rampage shown among the main protagonist Beast Spirits was not the first one obtained (Garmmon) but the second one (Vritramon), and if you look at the circumstances surrounding them, it doesn’t seem to mean as much about Takuya having any particular stronger tendency towards condescending violence as much as the sheer circumstances that went on behind them:

Kouji obtained his Beast Spirit under the circumstances of already knowing that he needed to protect Gotsumon with that power (and, moreover, having spent the end of the prior episode and the duration of the beginning of this one mulling on Ophanimon’s warning that he’d need to “grow” before he could obtain it). Therefore, “using this power for the desire to protect others” was a huge thought in his head from the very beginning, even though -- presumably partially because this was a first time for everyone -- it threw him off just enough for him to end up exhausting himself.

Takuya obtained his without warning and without proper understanding of what he was dealing with, having had it practically forced on him after Shamamon-as-Vritramon’s defeat, and so, with no context of purpose and no real depth of what he was about to get into, he ended up on a complete destructive rampage. He was snapped out successfully by the need to not hurt someone (Tomoki), and spent the rest of the episode agonizing and mulling over the risks and meaning of having such power before he eventually evolved into Vritramon without too much issue the second time.

So the point is made clear: the “destructive” and “uncontrollable” impulses associated with the Beast Spirits will be sent out of control if the user doesn’t have a strong desire to use it with proper purpose. For Ranamon/Calmaramon, she had the worst time with it because she was the single most obsessed out of the Legendary Warriors to use it to stroke her own ego and vanity, whereas at least the other three Cherubimon-allied ones (besides Duskmon -- see below) were at least capable of using it towards a greater goal, and the remaining five went through the proper outlets of thinking about how this power should be used and how it shouldn’t be used lightly.

While the issue of the Beast Spirits being inherently difficult to control isn’t as prominent as we go later into the series, we do actually see shades of it when we get to the tale of Kouichi/Duskmon/Velgrmon, because while part of it can be chalked up to the power of darkness being consuming, Kouichi, during his first transformation to Velgrmon in episode 30, is only able to talk barely coherently and is really just venting his rage and anger out, presumably because his entire state of mind is locked into all of that, making the rampage even worse. (Also keeping in mind the theme of embracing the idea of changing yourself, you can also think of this in terms of how Kouichi is getting so consumed by his own emotions of anger that he’s become almost completely unrecognizable from his original self.)

Once we get his first “proper” evolution in episode 33, however, Kouichi is abundantly aware of what he’s done and has all of the proper determination to never let such a thing happen again -- so it’s not surprising that his evolution to KaiserLeomon happens with relatively little incident.

[the-insomniac-emporium]

Mia Deserved Better: An Analysis of RE8's Themes/Symbolism

Foreword: I would like to thank @lepusrufus for posting about both Mia and Miranda, and at one point directly saying that Mia deserved better, which is a large part of what caused me to start examining her role in the canon story. Now, I will say that this post, like some of my previous explorations of Village (such as my attempt to determine Donna's age), will not be the best organized. My ADHD makes such things rather difficult for me. However, I have tried more than usual, and have broken up this "essay" into several distinct sections. Still, I am worried that my thoughts will not be as concise or coherent as they were inside my head.

Under read-more for length and spoilers for RE8: Village.

Introduction:

Village is, inarguably, about parenthood. Is it a horror game? Yes. Is it also science fiction? Also yes. But is it still, at its core, a story, and therefore contains imagery, symbolism, and themes? Yes. Now, you may be wondering what this has to do with Mia deserving better. My proposal is as follows: While Village is overall about parenthood, it is more about motherhood than fatherhood. Furthermore, Mia's background + actions from the previous game tie her story directly with Mother Miranda's, making their potential interactions massively important to the story... and could have served the theme beautifully. The missed potential in her involvement in the story is honestly a little bit absurd.

Now, let's examine each of the Four Lords + their sections, as the beginning of analyzing the game's theme.

Lady Dimitrescu + Castle:

Ah, perhaps the clearest (albeit unimportant) bits of theme within the whole game. We are immediately presented with another parent, with three daughters she loves very, very much. Initially they work as a team to capture Ethan, easily overpowering him. When they do split up, each still has dialogue regarding their family members. Each of the daughters expresses a desire to be like their mother/make their mother proud. Lady Dimitrescu herself gets very upset every time one of her daughters perishes, and delivers some important dialogue about this in her final confrontation with Ethan.

To paraphrase, Lady D says that Ethan has done something unforgiveable, caused damage that can never heal, and deserves to die before his daughter. That last part is interesting, in the sense that Lady D seems to believe that outlasting your own child is a fate so terrible that she would not wish it upon anyone, including the person who killed her daughters.

Throughout her dialogue and actions, Lady D serves as an important figure of a living mother. What do I mean by that? Well, the only other mothers we see in game are Mia and Miranda. The former doesn't show up until almost the end of the game (seeing as the "Mia" at the start is not actually the real Mia), while the latter does not have a living child, and her behavior has (presumably) changed quite a bit since that loss. As Ethan goes through Castle Dimitrescu, he watches (he causes) Lady D to go through what Miranda did all those decades ago. When we see her loss, when we experience her loss, it is something we connect with, even comparing it (as Lady D does) to Ethan's loss of Rose.

For the more visual side of symbolism, we can turn to Lady Dimitrescu herself. She is very tall, is visibly older than the majority of the Village cast, and has a fairly classic (old-school) motherly look. Everything about her reinforces her position as an example of a mother, especially when she's with her daughters and becomes such a strong figure of protection. Her height allows her to seem the caretaker for her children, even though they are scary/intimidating in their own right.

Donna Beneviento + Waterfall House:

Yes, the baby/fetus/monstrosity is part of this. No, it is not the only bit of thematic work in this section of the game.

To begin, you can find out that Donna is officially the adopted daughter of Mother Miranda. Her birth parents are dead, implied to be from especially tragic causes (more than is the norm when it comes to "orphan making"), and she has suffered greatly from it. We see that she has been seemingly neglected by Miranda, and is incredibly isolated. The tragedy of her loss, along with the consequences presented by it, are something to keep in mind further down the road, when we inevitably deal with Ethan's own death.

One of the consequences of the environment Donna was raised in is, arguably, her reliance on Angie. While interpretations of their exact relationship (aka how much control Donna actually has at any given point) vary, the two very clearly have something akin to a mother/daughter vibe. Alternatively an older sister/younger sister sort of thing. This shows in the way that Donna holds/carries Angie, as well as the contrast in their demeanors. Moreso, the fact that Donna gave a part of herself to create Angie is almost enough to make the symbolism nonnegotiable.

We also see that Donna has a strong understanding of family/family dynamics, through the way that she uses her powers to manipulate Ethan. She dissects his connections to Mia and Rose, taunts him with the lengths he's willing to go to save his child, then shows him a grotesque version of parenthood: The aforementioned fetus monster. Does the monster represent Ethan's fears, or Donna's?

What if the monster is how Donna sees herself, in some way, perhaps thinking that it's her fault her parents died? Bit of a stretch, but it's not a keystone of my theory, so I'm just throwing it out there. We could, however, go a step further and ask ourselves if Donna has noticed the way Miranda neglects her, and the fetus monster is how Donna thinks Miranda sees her. A baby, true, but grotesque, so terribly imperfect compared to her "real daughter" (Eva, obvs).

Regardless, the monster presents an ugly side of parenthood. It shows us the blood, the hunger (with the way it repeatedly attempts to swallow Ethan whole), the wailing. If Lady D shows us the love of parenthood, the bond, Donna in turn shows us the hate, the misery. Everything that one must endure to reap the rewards of family.

Lastly, we get one last bit of symbolism with Donna's death: We play a game with Angie. A childhood classic, hide and seek. Ethan chases her down repeatedly, stabbing away, seemingly only hurting the doll. But what happens when he kills Angie? It turns out that he killed Donna. You kill the child, you kill the parent. A reinforcement of the connection that comes with parenthood, along with another notch in Ethan's family-murdering belt (not saying that he's the "true antagonist" or anything, just keeping track for one of my later points).

Moreau + The Reservoir

Let's get the worst possibility out of the way: Moreau, weakest and sickest of the four lords, lives in a reservoir, where he is relatively safe. To defeat him, you have to drain the water, forcing him onto dry(ish) land. Paired with the main ideas of his section (which I will detail after this nightmare), one could theorize that he's meant to represent birth itself. Again, he's safe in his ("womb") water, and becomes vulnerable when he leaves (like a fragile newborn). Kinda gross, in my opinion, and also not a strong enough connection for me to care much about. It was merely an interesting (albeit horrifying) enough thought that I felt it warranted sharing.

Moving on to the big stuff with Moreau: He's a baby. Evidence: Whiny, has difficulty moving around, struggles to adapt to his growth, throws up a bunch, loves his mother very much, cries for his mother when he's in trouble, etc. Although Mother Miranda does not care for him, he clearly cares for her, and plays yet another role of an abandoned child (like Donna). Without Miranda there to protect him, he perishes terribly, crying out for someone who does not care to answer.

Hearing him cry out for Miranda, over and over, only for her to continue ignoring him is a key piece in the build-up to our confrontation between Ethan and Miranda. The game, in many ways, centers around the comparison between the two. In my humble opinion, Mia should have been involved in this comparison, as opposed to supplying the solution to the result of said comparison. Yes, I know that was a lot of words that don't mean much yet, but trust me, I'm getting there.

Heisenberg + The Factory

Ironically, of the four lords, Heisenberg is the most similar to Mother Miranda. In his massive factory, he is alone except for his numerous experiments, the results of decades of playing God. In comparison to Ethan + Mia, Heisenberg represents artificial parentage, or more accurately, the artificial creation of "life". While the others Lords also performed experiments, they used living subjects. Heisenberg instead chose to use corpses, which he then "brought back to life" with cybernetics + his powers, a somewhat futuristic version of Dr. Frankenstein.

Together, Miranda and him show a rotten side of parenthood (whereas Donna + Moreau showed us the uglier side of the children themselves). To put it simply, they are bad parents. They throw their "children"/experiments into the fray, uncaring, using them as pawns for their own greater gain. The most important part of this is that Heisenberg offers to "help" Ethan: By using Rose as a weapon. In his act of refusal, Ethan demonstrates one of several important distinctions between himself and Mother Miranda. Where she is willing to use her "children" (read: lives that she is responsible for) as tools, he is not.

Miscellaneous Symbolism/Imagery:

The old hag is one of my favorite parts of Village. She's seemingly nuts, has a crazy old lady laugh, wears bones that make soothing bone noises when she moves, and she draws lots of symbols in the dirt. If you look closely (I can provide screenshots if anyone desires, but it will take a bit of work to get them onto my computer), she's drawing one of the most iconic images in the titular village: The winged unborn. This symbol acts as the key you build up after every fight with a Lord, understandably called the Unborn Key (which turns into the Winged Unborn Key). Whether this counts as foreshadowing towards the hag's identity reveal is technically irrelevant, but I like to think it does.

In essence, you build up the key, this depiction of an infant, to progress in the game. The more wings it gains, the closer you are to your goal of rescuing your child.

The cadou itself is very clearly fetus-shaped. Furthermore, the only place within the human body that we know it ever gets implanted is in the "tummy" (thanks Moreau), aka roughly where someone's womb is/would be. Every infected person we see presumably had the Cadou implanted there (though I think it would be interesting if implanting it in different spots caused different mutations. of course, that is a discussion for another day). To become immortal, you have to "bear" a "child". Does it get more direct than that?

Mother Miranda gained her immortality in part for her grief at the loss of her child. She embodied the despair that Lady D spoke of, becoming an eternal source of anguish. Just as the loss of a child is a wound that lasts forever, so too would Miranda last forever (well, until Ethan comes along).

Mia is a loving mother, who puts up with the BSAA making her move across the world, deals with the complications of having a mold husband and mold baby, and has proved herself (see her section in RE7) to be an immense badass. Previously I had forgotten that, and even embarrassed myself in the comments of another person's post by implying she wasn't a tough, ass-kicking machine. Y'all remember feral Mia? People talk about "poor Ethan's arms", but sometimes we forget that Mia was one of the people who did a number on them. Furthermore, she's one of the only living people (from outside the village) to have any connections (pun intended) to Mother Miranda. They worked together, although possibly not directly, on Evelyn. If anyone in Village has a chance of really understanding Miranda's plight, or knowing the truth behind it, it would be Mia. Yet we don't see them interact a single time. Which leads me to the next section...

Conclusion On Theme + Missed Potential:

Okay, okay, so it's pretty obvious at this point that, as previously stated, the game's theme is parenthood. Every section has its symbolism, the story is very obviously about a man trying to rescue his daughter, etc, etc, but what's the point? Is there a lesson, or a more focused interpretation of the central theme? Let's take one last step back, and focus on something I've mentioned a few times now: The comparison between Ethan and Mother Miranda.

Recurring dialogue from Ethan, Alcina, and Mother Miranda all point towards the developers acknowledging that the characters are similar, but there's nowhere near as much conversation about it as I would like. Several times we have the antagonists ask Ethan how he's so willing to kill someone else's child, or prevent them from (essentially) doing what he's doing (aka saving his daughter). While Ethan responds with a mix of "well you started it" and "aghhh fuck-a-you, bitch", there's a much more solid, unspoken difference: Mother Miranda sends her underlings to kill, so that she may revive her daughter. Ethan kills (read: does the work himself) to get his daughter. The difference is much bigger, and more important, at the end of the game, when we realize just how far it goes. Ethan dies to save his daughter. Time and time again Mother Miranda has killed others for her work, but in the end she is stopped when someone willingly dies to stop her.

Where does Mia come in? Mia, the badass mother, the one who once worked alongside Mother Miranda, should have been the nail in the coffin. She is the one who survives, who lives on to raise Rose, she is the silent solution to Ethan's sacrifice. Miranda, you fool, what could you have accomplished if you had held onto your makeshift family? Through Mia (and Chris, to a lesser degree), his "loss" becomes a victory. There's a certain poetic justice that comes with Rose's full family being instrumental in saving her, when Miranda so readily spurned her own family.

Mia could have had an actual conversation with Miranda, their history giving the latter a reason to actually listen. I'm not saying that Miranda would have changed her mind/plans, but the conversation would have been a well-needed contrast to Ethan's "arggg what the fuck is happening, I only have two reactions to things. agg fuck you". Additionally, I feel that Mia (who was captured and had to endure who-knows-what) deserves the opportunity to be the one who points out Miranda's mistakes, who delivers the final "fuck you" to her. More than that, she's the one at the end who can say that hey, maybe she can understand some of what Miranda did. Was there anything her and Ethan wouldn't have done to save Rose? As much as Ethan is a foil to Miranda, Mia could (and should) have played a similar role.

When so much of the story and symbolism revolves around Miranda's experience as a mother, it only would have been fair to shine a light on her equivalent. Her better.

There's more I wanted to say/feel like I didn't properly get across, and I might add more to this at some point, but it's 5:40 AM right now, and I'm starting to feel like my brain is slowing down, so... Feel free to reblog/comment and add your own thoughts!

[firefly-in-darkness]

Worst Idea Ever [Part Three]

Characters → Y/N & Bucky Barnes, Other Marvel Characters.

Series Summary → Wedding Season is brutal as it is but throw in two friends that decide to be each other’s plus ones and a mixed bag of feelings, what’s the worst that could happen?

Part Two Summary → Y/N makes a confession that lands her in an very embarrassing situation at the rehearsal dinner. Bucky doesn’t like how he feels and seeks the wrong things to deal with it.

Word Count → 3.9k 

Part Two Warnings → 18+, smut / sexy things. self-pleasure. Angst.

Beta → @princessmisery666 & @fandomfic-galore // all mistakes are my own.

Series Taglist  → Open, just drop me an ask!

A/N → Sorry that this is EXTREMELY late. I have this series planned out, I just have to flesh it out and my brain was not cooperating at all - it wanted me to write and scenes for latter parts [very irritating!] but here we are and I hope you enjoy it!

Series List // Marvel List // Masterlist

Previously in Part Two: Bucky watched her expression drop and the guilt seeped into his chest, jumping out of his seat, he offered his hand, nodding towards the dance floor. The way her face lit up and how her warm hand grabbed his metal one without hesitation had his heart skipping a beat.

His composure faltered slightly but as they began to dance to the beat, he pushed his reaction to the back of his mind and continued to enjoy the time with Y/N. His friend.

Laughter filled Y/N’s apartment. Wanda divulged the details of her latest date with Victor and how he’d asked her to be his plus one to Peter and Gwen’s wedding. Y/N couldn’t contain her excitement to meet him and from the way Wanda looked wistfully as she spoke, she was clearly smitten. 

It made Y/N’s heart ache for something she’d lost. Not necessarily Tyler, but the closeness of someone, the intimate and carefree moments. To enjoy someone’s company, even in the silence. To have someone that you could count on in the crazy and dreadful times and be there for when they had their ups and downs. Not that Tyler had lived up to that very often. 

Now that she thought about it, the last time she felt like that she had that closeness was with Bucky a few weeks ago, when she told him about the breakup. Y/N contemplated how Bucky had immediately cared for her when she was too drunk to walk, how he took her into his apartment and made sure she was safe, how he had agreed to her ridiculous idea of being each other’s plus ones.

“So, what about you, pumpkin? Anyone getting the delicious goods?” Natasha pulled Y/N out of her thoughts, popped a pretzel on her tongue, and smirked at her daydreaming friend. “Someone on your mind?”

“God no!” Y/N exclaimed, “that’s definitely not on my list of priorities right now. I have too much going on with work and I’ve only just split up with Ty.”

Nat rolled her eyes and Wanda frowned, both looking as if Y/N had grown a second head. Y/N knew it was an ambush the moment the two of them had suggested a last minute get together. There was no need to put it off any longer, defeated she gestured for them to speak their mind. 

“What about Bucky? You have this ‘fake’ dating thing going on, so why not get something out of it?” Nat stared at Y/N intently, voice devoid of any emotion.

Y/N knew Nat’s thoughts on her arrangement with Bucky; she had made them very clear when she checked in on her after the breakup announcement - ‘Why can’t you just be friends? What’s with the charade? - Y/N didn’t have an answer, it was something they had both slipped into so easily and Bucky hadn’t questioned it either.

“That’s not what we are doing, and you know it.” Y/N drained the last of her drink, glaring at her friend, “We like each other’s company, there’s nothing more to it than that.”

“You could always join a couple of those dating apps, they’re free,” Wanda suggested, while she filled her glass with her famous homemade cocktail. “Plus, you don’t actually have to meet up with them. Just see what’s out there.”

Nat apparently wasn’t finished with her part of the conversation and spoke before Y/N could respond. “Get yourself out of the rut of not being in a relationship and start being single. Have some one night stands or whatever.”

“It’s just - well - it’s been a while since...” Y/N’s eyes widened, the embarrassment tingling her cheeks. It had been too long since she had been sexually active, and she knew the conversation would inevitably lead there.

“Oh honey, when was the last time you and Tyler did it?” Nat’s voice was laced with concern for her sexual vitality, or lack thereof. 

“Well, maybe a few months.” Y/N shrugged, fiddling with the hem of her shirt.

“You only broke up a few months ago so that’s fine.” Wanda smiled.

“No, I mean, before we broke up.” 

The silence in the room was deafening as Y/N and her friends processed her confession.

“Over six months? Really?” Nat gasped, “and what about by yourself?”

Y/N’s cheeks felt like they were on fire. She masturbated but it wasn’t something she did regularly. From Nat’s reaction, she could tell that this was not going to end well and offered her friends a small smile. Wanda continued to pour the drinks while Nat tapped away on her phone, determination etched on her face.

“Ordered! Next day delivery too.” Nat declared and pointed at Y/N, “you don’t need to thank me.”

The conversation moved onto the potential suitors that Nat had lined up from her own online dating profile. The drinks flowed until they were all too giggly to speak coherently. It was just what Y/N needed; her friends, a little heart to heart and lots of fun.

 Peter & Gwen’s Rehearsal Dinner

The box containing Nat’s gift sat on the kitchen counter, unopened and almost forgotten about until Y/N walked into the room and saw it taunting her. She had been itching, for the last week, to open it but had remained sceptical of the devices her friend had ordered. 

Curiosity gnawed at her thoughts while she sat on the couch, waiting for Bucky’s, he was running unusually late and hadn’t left his apartment yet. She glanced at her notification-free phone, back to the box, she had at least ten minutes before Bucky would arrive and that would only be on a light traffic day. 

These days weren’t often enough to warrant her to keep the items sealed any longer. With a couple of tugs and rips, the first items were revealed; a bright pink g-spot vibrator and some novelty penis shaped pasta. She scoffed at the silliness, but it brought a smile to her face.

The final item was some panties with a built in vibrator and a small remote; this piqued Y/N’s interest - it was subtle, and she could just put them on and enjoy it as she pleased. Another look at the time and she knew she’d be able to give them a try before Bucky arrived. 

Y/N made quick work of removing her underwear, flinging them across the living room as she ripped open the box and pulled on the new panties. While adjusting them and fixing the skirt of her dress the doorbell rang. 

Alarm ran through Y/N’s bones, the embarrassment heating her cheeks as she thought of Bucky waiting behind the front door. She stuffed the box behind a pillow and shoved the remote into her purse. She yanked the door open to see him standing there in his blue velvet suit, jangling his keys and hair looking a little dishevelled, not even glancing at her as he turned to walk down the path.

“You’re early,” Y/N squeaked, body frozen to the spot as she felt the ridges of the vibrating device against her core.

“I’m late, come on.” Bucky reached his car that had been haphazardly parked. “Move it, woman.”

Unable to change, Y/N left the apartment and attempted to forget what she was wearing underneath her dress while catching up with Bucky. 

Luckily, the traffic lights were on their side and they pulled up outside the Italian restaurant with minutes to spare. Bucky opened the car door for Y/N in a flash, and she took his hand and climbed out of the car just as he began to drag her towards the entrance, needing to skip and jog a little to keep up. 

She was so confused by his eagerness to get her through the door but let it subside with his hand clasped around hers tightly, not dropping it even as he walked towards his destination, the bar.

 Bucky wasn’t sure why he was late; he was ready before he was due to leave. But nerves got the better of him; Y/N was important to him and the people she would be meeting were his colleagues. Of course, she already knew Sam and Wanda, but she was going to meet his boss and other people. And for the life of him, he couldn't understand why this feeling of uncertainty washed over him.

“Pull yourself together Buck,” He chastised, running his hand through his hair while he text Y/N to warn her of his delay.

His fingers drummed on the steering wheel, the tension reeling from him and he doubted that it would be gone by the time he reached Y/N’s block. He turned up the music, hoping to drown out his thoughts and gain some composure.

It didn’t work. His mind flitted between Y/N and his colleagues, a particular one in his thoughts, Jackie. She was one of Tony Stark’s entourage. He didn’t know it at the time and the casual relationship was something that worked for the both of them over the last few years. But now, it was a completely different story. He was bringing Y/N as his date, fake date, to an occasion that an old flame would be in attendance. His mind spiralled into a stream of all the what if’s that could happen if his lover and friend met and talked to one another.

As the car pulled up to the curb, it dawned on Bucky the tension that he was feeling was embarrassment for his flings, he’d never considered how the future might look for him in terms of a relationship, but this was new, and he couldn’t shake the feeling of a potential future with Y/N.

Don’t get ahead of yourself, you’ve been to one wedding together and it wasn’t even a real date. She’s only a friend. 

Bucky didn’t even look at Y/N when she opened the door, but he did listen to her talk about her day while he navigated the back roads to the restaurant. His arm warmed under the slightest feel of her touch, the excitement in her voice and the way her laughter echoed around the car seeped into his very being.

They made it to the restaurant in time to get to the bar and drink before the meals arrived. She’s only a friend, he reminded himself as he downed the amber liquid, relishing in the burn gliding down his throat.

The approach of Sam was a blessing; it gave Bucky the chance to escape from his thoughts and not be obliged to make small talk with Y/N. He knew that she wouldn’t push him into a conversation, they’d been friends for a decade, and she knew him. 

Bucky felt a twinge in his chest, a tightening of his rib cage, as he watched Sam and Y/N greet each other in a loving hug. He realised he hadn’t even said hello to Y/N, he turned for his next order of whiskey and once he collected it, turned to find they had left him to take their seats. 

“...and if it wasn’t for me, taking on two interns for the September Foundation, these kids would never have met.” Tony Stark waved the champagne flute, pointing between Peter and Gwen, laughter followed as the couple shook their heads and rolled their eyes. “Now, for once, enough about me. Please raise your glasses to the happy couple.”

Y/N was in awe of the man addressing the room, with such poise and humour, he knew how to handle a speech and she couldn’t help the enthusiasm of her claps and the beaming smile she sent to Bucky as Tony settled back in his seat opposite her on the round table.

The room settled down with soft melodies filling the space while guests began to mingle once more. Small talk and hushed conversations about the happy couple, the delicious meal they’d had and the excitement for the wedding ceremony tomorrow.

Bucky didn’t seem to be in the mood to talk much, Y/N put it down to whatever had him running late and put it to the back of her mind to ask him as they drove home. She was used to his quiet ways and the large number of people in such a small space, could make anyone feel claustrophobic. 

Under the table, she squeezed his knee in reassurance and focused on getting to know his boss and Aunt of the Groom, May Parker. In that half an hour, she’d learnt about the vision of the Stark Relief Foundation and how incredibly proud May was of her team in Sam, Bucky and Wanda. Light blushes filled the cheeks of the latter two, whereas Sam took it in his stride and gave a cheeky grin.

With most of the glasses empty, Bucky immediately offered to go to the bar and order another round for the table. Y/N excused herself after a moment and followed, once she’d turn toward the bar, she saw him embrace a woman. It didn’t bother her until the touch seemed more intimate, she froze, her eyes trained on the unknown woman’s fingers lingering on Bucky’s forearms and his hands resting on her waist. It wasn’t the way colleagues greeted one another. 

A pang of jealousy surged through her and she tried to shake it away, returning to her seat and attention to Wanda and Victor on how they’d begun to incorporate Victor’s previous projects in the recently absorbed Californian company, AccuTech, to grow Stark Industries.

The conversation did nothing to numb the ache in Y/N’s chest, her eyes flicking back to Bucky who was still preoccupied at the bar. She had enough of waiting for him to return with her drink, so she turned in her seat, accidentally kicking her bag to the side. 

A subtle cough behind Y/N turned her head where she was met with a light smile and a flute of champagne extended by the hand of the one and only, Tony Stark. Her brain shutdown, unable to form a sentence as she accepted the drink and thanked the billionaire before he returned to his seat.

In embarrassment, she downed the rest of the champagne, twisted in her seat and that’s when she felt a soft hum against her core. She shook her head and joined May’s conversation with Wanda and Victor once more. Then another hum, but longer. Her eyes widened at what was happening. 

The underwear was releasing a soft vibration every few seconds. Y/N scrambled to her feet to get her bag from underneath the table. She felt the colour drain from her face as it dawned on her that the remote was missing. Another wave of vibrations rocked against her. The delicious sensation caused her to clench her thighs together and return to her seat, eyeing the floor for the remote without being too obvious.

“Yeah, after I left the army, Bucky and I went to college which is where we met Y/N,” Sam explained to Tony and Pepper.

Y/N’s ears pricked up at the mention of her name and attempted to join in as the vibrations hit her at an increased tapping motion before stopping and starting again, “Yeah, he was very good. God, he was good - at being my study buddy.”

Sam looked at her with a frown, “Bucky was the bad influence on her, I guess.”

Another course of vibrations rippled from the underwear, causing Y/N’s eyes to widen and grit her teeth in hope that she didn’t let out another comment or moan. She could feel her body slowly heating up and she was almost gasping for air when Bucky returned to the table with the woman he’d met at the bar.

Y/N shuddered in pleasure at the sight of him but then jealousy returned as she spotted Bucky’s arm wrapped around her waist, his fingers clutching and stroking at her hip. She knew the smile she offered them was more of a grimace, but she couldn’t help it. 

“I’ll get some more drinks.” Pepper eyed Tony, it didn’t go amiss from Y/N as she tried to focus on anything but the issue under her dress.

Bucky took his seat beside Y/N and the woman took the one now vacated by Pepper. Y/N didn’t look at him once, instead returning to Victor and Wanda. Secretly hoping that her underwear would stop vibrating and she’d not embarrass herself in front of Bucky or the woman he’d brought to the table.

“So, Victor, whoa-what have you been working on lately?” Y/N whimpered.

The tension was building in her leg muscles and she wasn’t sure she could hold it for much longer. As Y/N swapped her legs over, crossing them tightly, she felt her slick trailing from her apex, unleashing a soft moan from her lips.

Victor continued to explain his latest project with the help of Wanda finishing his sentences. It would have been adorable if Y/N didn’t feel like she was about to burst at the seams.

“Oh, oh- I, I need to use the bathroom.” Y/N attempted to cover the small outburst and began to stand when Victor interrupted.

“I’m almost finished.” Victor smiled, “So as I was saying, the combination of…”

A round of vibrations echoed in the silent lull between the songs playing over the speakers and everyone began to check their pockets and phones for the source. In that moment, her eyes locked with Tony and he smirked.

He couldn’t know, surely?! Y/N bit her bottom lip and her fears came out in a whimper. Tony ushered the woman and Bucky along the table so that he could take the seat beside her. Even though her heart was pounding in her chest, Y/N tried to remain calm and concentrate on the billionaire while trying to ignore her core tightening in pleasure.

Bucky wasn’t sure what to do as Tony talked to Y/N, he could see the fear in her eyes as the lead of Stark Industries joined her and began a quiet conversation. He couldn’t hear what was being said but from Y/N’s appearance, she looked as if she was in pain.

Jackie stroked the inside of his thigh, his attention back on her. He didn’t know how it happened; one minute he was getting drinks and the next she had wrapped herself around him and walked over to the table. He did see the confusion etched on Y/N’s face, but he brushed it aside; that was what they were doing this for - being a plus one for each other and helping with hook ups.

The commotion from Tony and Pepper caught his attention as they tried to subtly look around the table and even underneath it. What on earth is going on? Bucky wondered before his eyes focused on Y/N, the way she squirmed in her seat, holding her legs crossed together. If she needs to use the bathroom, why doesn’t she?

He stood up, ready to take her away from the awkwardness occurring at the table that he didn’t understand in the slightest. As he neared, the sound of vibrations and Y/N’s attempt at soft moans made him realise what was going on. 

I really hope that’s not what I think it is. Bucky’s uncertainty was answered with the grimace Y/N directed at Pepper. This could only happen to her, he chuckled internally and glanced around the room to find whatever device was causing the untimely situation.

Bucky spotted a kid with a remote shaped device, waving it around and pretending it to be a lightsabre. As he wandered up to him, he heard Y/N scream and turned back to see her standing with hands white knuckling the back of the chair.

“Yes, yes, yes! That’s great. Tony!” She shivered and began to compose herself.

“Got to love her enthusiasm!” Tony chuckled and raised his glass to the guests now looking in her direction before they returned to their own companions.

Bucky immediately snatched up the device, “Sorry kid, that’s my toy.”

Y/N returned from the bathroom, heat still radiating from her cheeks as she wandered over to the cloakroom. She didn’t want to be there anymore, already feigning a headache to escape. Of all the people to come to her aide, Pepper Potts, and Tony Stark! 

Ugh, why are you so embarrassing Y/N?! She scolded herself as she collected her coat.

Tony Stark appeared beside her, handing over the tab to the attendant. She tried to ignore him but was unable to when he tapped her on the shoulder, “So how does a woman like you, end up going on a date with a man like Barnes and be completely accepting of him in the arms of another woman?” 

“We aren’t together.” Y/N confessed. She wasn’t sure why she was being so open and honest with a man she hadn’t met until a few hours ago. Maybe it was the fact that him and his wife had just witnessed her having an orgasm in the middle of a restaurant. “We’re just fake dating our way through wedding season so that we don’t have to bring any awkward dates or end up on the singles table.”

“We all do stupid things,” Tony remarked while he held her coat and she put her arms through the sleeves.

“Wait, what do you mean?” Shock coursed through her veins; her cheeks tingled even more at the thought of her feelings being so obviously on display for even a stranger to see them. 

“You’re not fooling anyone with those longing gazes.” Tony smirked.

Y/N glanced back to the stumbling pair of Bucky and his new companion. 

“Don’t worry about Jackie, that’s just a casual thing.” Tony gave her a sullen smile, “He’ll work out what he’s missing out on one day. Hopefully before it’s too late.”

Bucky handed the keys to Y/N, completely oblivious to what was going on around him other than Jackie. Anger seeped into Y/N’s skin as their hands trailed over one another’s bodies, lips finding one another in their drunken mess.

She would get them back to Bucky’s and leave them to each other for the night. She needed to get home, to get out of the stupid vibrating panties and sleep away the emotional rollercoaster that had been Peter and Gwen’s rehearsal dinner.

Bucky woke to his alarm blaring through the haze of his hangover. He attempted to sit up but felt the weight of an arm draped across his stomach and a leg curled around him. He shoved Jackie’s naked form away from him and sat up to turn off the horrific noise. He spotted the notifications lighting up his phone and read the messages.

The first was from Tony; I like Y/N. Can you extend an invite to mine and Pepper’s wedding vow renewal at the end of the year? Don’t mess this up Barnes.

He flicked his phone to the second text; it was from Y/N. I drove you and Jackie home. I’ve got your car, so I’ll pick you up at 11. The third text was also from her; Thank you for finding the remote.

He sunk back into the pillow, his hand dragging down his face. Bucky wasn’t sure what the billionaire genius was referring to, but he felt guilty for whatever Y/N had to witness of him and Jackie. He thought going home with someone else would help quash his feelings but now that he was sober, he knew that it was a stupid idea. He only felt guilt and remorse for what had happened the previous night.

Hooking up with a woman in front of Y/N was the worst idea ever.

Continue Here...

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[fandomgodmother420]

Not to be a matpat kinnie but uhhh

Anyways I have this theory I call the DSMPCU

I don’t know how to describe it without sounding insane but I GOTTA TALK ABOUT IT MAN so I’m gonna try my best to be coherent okay here goes-

So Passerine right we all know it we all love it and for this theory to work we’re gonna say it’s cannon. That means that a LOT of other stuff gets to also he cannon now, because in passerine it’s confirmed that these characters are the same people going through many many different timelines reincarnated. We know that one of these previous lives was the DreamSMP-but what about the others?

So Tommyinnits Unbeatable Method Of Avoiding Sudden Death right we all know it we all love it. Spoilers but the big twist at the end of tumoasd is that everything was created by Tommy’s subconscious as a final happy dream to help him cope with dying. It reminded me of passerine an uncanny amount to the point where I’m inclined to believe it’s set in the same universe. I think that while passerine was the last incarnation of these characters, tumoasd was the first.

So Clara rite, we all know her we all love her. C!Tommy’s real mother: the universe. (This was a theory that came from exile) Being the child of the universe has its perks and Tommy’s powers manifest as he makes these universes for himself. Clara the ever supportive parent provides him with a guide or form of protection to help hold each universe together. In Tumoasd for example, it’s Clementine (the fish he carry’s with him in a sprite bottle)

What the fuck am I on about?

To make a long fuckin story short I think that Tommy’s subconscious makes universe after universe in witch he and his family and friends are happy and safe. Every incarnation causes them to become a little more-real. Nobody ever remembers the universes before them, except-for Dream.

Dream remembers everything and is fully aware of what’s going on. He follows Tommy throughout the universes, pulling strings just to see what they do, and attempts to gain control of the story being told. To use tumoasd as an example again he was the one who gave Cementine to Jack Manifold.

What does this mean in the context of the DSMP

By the time the dsmp roles around even Tommy has forgotten what’s happening. All he has is a vauge sense of responsibility that he can’t explain, and an attachment to his gift from Clara-the discs. Dream of course, still remembers.

Things start off happy just as always, it’s Minecraft-nobody can die because they’ll just respawn. He’s with Wilbur and they’re singing Hamilton and living in a van and things are good, but Tommys mind is tired and that makes it easy for Dream to take control, especially after Tommy gives him the discs.

By the time pogtopia happens control has shifted from Tommy-to Dream and the universe changes. Suddenly deaths have meaning, wounds are more painful, people let the darkest sides of themselves make their decisions.

Dream isn’t satisfied though, he knows that Tommy still has a sliver of a hold on the universes fabric and he wants all the power to himself, he becomes obsessed with controlling Tommy-because whoever controls Tommy controls everything. It’s fun watching how Tommy’s torment effects the world around him-hell it’s fun watching Tommy’s torment in general. When Dream kills Tommy and brings him back to life without the universe ever changing, he realizes he has total control “I’m a god”

People other than Dream slowly start to realize what’s going on-thats why so much derealization is happening, but it doesn’t matter because they’ll forget when the next universe rolls around.

What does this mean in the context of Passerine? How does it all end?

Dream has as much fun as he can, but he doesn’t have Tommy’s power and he’s even more weak at the end of things then Tommy was (being tortured takes a lot out of a guy)

Dream makes a new universe to torment Tommy, one where Phil abandons him and his mother dies, one where Techno is a monster and Wilbur is crushed under the pressures of power and goes mad from it-one where he and Tubbo never even meet. Some of that comes true but a lot of it doesn’t, because now the characters have been reincarnated so many times that they’re not only their own people but they are people who are more powerful than Dream is. Tommy and Dream both die, but they aren’t needed to hold the universe together anymore, now it’s held together by its people. Who are just as real as they where before everything began.

ANYWAYS I REALLY WANT FICS ABOUT THIS AND CONTENT ABOUT THIS I FEEL LIKE IT EXPLAINS A LOT AND ITS ALSO SO COOL TO ME BECAUSE LIKE I CAN READ A FIC AND BE LIKE YEAH THATS CANNON PROBABLY

[wedreamedlove]

Xu Mo vs. Mo Yi [Character Study]

I can never get over the aesthetic of these two pictures placed side by side LOL. But, anyway, the point of this post is to nip any undue comparisons in the bud and claims of copying organize my thoughts and compare these two characters to highlight their similarities, differences, and further explore each character through these contrasts.

Q) If you like Xu Mo, would you like Mo Yi?

Honestly, I think this depends on what you like most about Xu Mo. I already knew beforehand that I gravitate towards characters who think 5 steps ahead, are predominantly logical, and scholars/gentlemen, so it’s not surprising I bias both Xu Mo and Mo Yi.

However, as I got to know Mo Yi further (Themis is around 6 months old now), I find that he’s distinctively different from Xu Mo on three crucial points that’ll determine whether people from either camp will like the other character.

1) Stance on Others

In a post for Xu Mo, “Into Your World”, I argued that Xu Mo is an alienated genius who had troubles getting along with others, until he mastered the social game as an adult. However, you can still see glimpses of this as he tries to understand MC’s world and shares his own.

To be fair, Mo Yi’s past is still under wraps but I feel confident in saying that, while he was probably highly intelligent compared to his peers [SR Sculpted Heart], his isolation doesn’t seem to come from his innate nature but rather his social position (there’s heavy implications that he’s like some sort of noble or something) [SR Snowy Pine Fairytale].

IMO, these backgrounds really shaped the way these two men interact with the world.

Xu Mo has a detached and indifferent view towards other people. They simply exist and don’t bring anything positive or negative to him. His ambition to ensure the survival of humanity reflects this too because it’s pure utilitarianism; everyone (apart from MC) can be sacrificed equally for the greater good. If anything, he probably finds other people to be interesting subjects to study, no matter what kind of person they are. IIRC the only time he expressed dislike to people, or a group of people, was when he told Hades he enjoyed killing thieves LOL.

Meanwhile, Mo Yi has an elitist streak to the point where he and his MC actually clashed opinions and debated each other [SR Warm Fingertips]. It’s incredibly ironic because he’s a psychiatrist who treats his patients without judgment, but at the same time he looks down on so many things and people (PUAs, people who betray love, hypocrites who only seek power and fame) [Ch2; Personal Story Ch1-3; SSR Moonlit Ball].

One of the things I noticed early on is that Xu Mo draws from the Eastern scholar archetype, “Xu Mo Character Study”, while Mo Yi actually draws more from the Western gentleman archetype.

So, just to summarize this section, Xu Mo is detached from the world naturally and likes to observe people and try to blend in. Mo Yi deliberately draws a line between him and others and, at times, has the casual cruelty of someone born as nobility (arrogance is carved into his bones, even if he tends to keep it low-key because he generally has a “gentle and polite” attitude).

2) Stance on Love

Xu Mo didn’t understand love, or really even emotions. Love is grown between him and his MC (there’s multiple analogies throughout the game about how their love is like a seed). I think [Ch25] pretty much sums it up for Xu Mo, where he goes through that emotional rollercoaster and muses about how, at the end of human evolution, emotions should be discarded. He also admits that MC taught him the “fear” of a normal person, because now he has someone he cannot give up no matter what, which goes against his previous utilitarian beliefs.

Compared to this, Mo Yi fell in love at first sight. Yes, you read that right. The “scientist and logical” archetype fell in love at first sight LOL. Not only does he acknowledge it right off the bat, but he fully embraces it too and believes that real love makes people better versions of themselves [Personal Story]. Mo Yi is a through and through psychiatrist in that he never underestimates how primal emotions (and love) can be.

Heck, not only is this central to his personal story, but we also have hints that one of Mo Yi’s parents fell in love at first sight with the other person (and he inherited their predisposition for that). Unfortunately, their love had a tragic end and Mo Yi seems to have a huge grudge against his father for whatever happened to his mother (again, Mihoyo is keeping this a mystery LOL), but Mo Yi explicitly confirms that even if his love leads to a tragic end he will still walk down this road and attempt to change it [SR Cool Summer].

IMO one other difference between them re: love is this exchange that lives rent free in my head which I saw in a Xu Mo/Reader/Mo Yi fanfiction LOL. Bear with me here.

Mo Yi: Wearing a mask for a long time will tire you.

Xu Mo: It’s enough just to wear one in front of the necessary person.

Xu Mo and his MC make great efforts to understand each other’s worlds, but this understanding comes from the doors he chooses to open to her. He reveals himself as much as possible, but I think he’s an inherently private person (and there’s all that Ares stuff) so there are times where he hides things so that he doesn’t worry his MC. I think this is enough to count as a “mask”. Sometimes he pretends he’s okay when he’s not.

On the other hand, while I think Mo Yi shares the sentiment in not wanting his MC to worry unduly, he tries to reveal himself as much as possible. There’s an amazingly relatable conflict in him here where he wants her to know every side of him, but he’s also terrified of how she’ll react if he shows her his ugliest sides and imperfect sides (he has some sort of phobia or fear about imperfection, but Mihoyo has been keeping mum on the exact details of this so far) [Personal Story; SR Sculpted Heart].

It’s pretty ironic that Mo Yi wants to be perfect, but he realizes that the more perfect he is the more of a sense of distance there’ll be between him and his MC because of the subconscious pressure someone “perfect” brings LOL [SSR Border of Light and Darkness].

3) Stance on Growth

If you haven’t realized that one of Xu Mo’s greatest themes is the phrase “Take your time in growing”, then what have you been reading? Jkjk, but seriously this gets repeated in multiple places, although my brain always goes back to [Blossom Date] for this.

Even if he and his MC start off with fundamental differences (she believes all people have inherent worth and can’t be involuntarily sacrificed), he wants to personally watch the journey of her maturation. He also subtly guides and teaches her. Unfortunately, due to circumstances of the main story, he doesn’t get his wish and she grows up a lot out of his eyes, but their relationship still revolves around him wanting her to have as much time as possible to grow.

He’s, for a lack of better word, extremely gentle about this (setting aside as much of the Ares and story parts as we can, because LovePro’s story is tragedy on tragedy LOL). I think [Autumn Blaze Date] shows a good analogy for this, because he holds the bicycle steady for MC until she can get going on her own, and he also catches her the first time.

Meanwhile, Mo Yi... ha ha ha. I just came out of chapter 3 for his [Personal Story] and let’s just say his philosophy is tough love. It’s ironic because, in many of his other dates, he wrestles with an internal conflict to protect his MC but also to let her experience all sorts of things to both test and temper her.

This is going to touch on the previous topic about love for a moment, but a part of Mo Yi’s love at first sight experience is also “testing” the other person through all sorts of situations and, after seeing all their different sides, he can determine whether his love at first sight is one that’ll last for the rest of his life or if it’s just a fleeting moment of beauty and emotion.

He also extremely respects his MC’s sense of justice and pursuit of the truth in the world, no matter what she encounters, and I wouldn’t be surprised if this is what drew him to her in the first place. But MC’s occupation and beliefs will make her confront a lot of dark and dangerous things and so, whenever possible, Mo Yi lets her confront these in “controlled” situations to train her. If I had to make an analogy, IMO, he’d let his MC ride the bicycle and pick her up only after she falls, or when she’s like 0.1cm away from the ground LOL.

Mo Yi is (perhaps rightfully) called out on this by another character, who believes Mo Yi is too arrogant in believing everything is under his control and he can prevent MC from getting hurt whenever he lets her get into dangerous situations, and I’m interested to see if Mihoyo will let him experience failures with his philosophy so he can grow more, like the things Xu Mo went through re: his personal beliefs [Ch24].

Overall

I don’t know how well I explained myself, especially for people who don’t know anything about Mo Yi, and each section goes back and forth between the two characters LOL so here’s another section that attempts to describe their overall atmosphere.

If, like I said in my Headcanon Notes, Xu Mo makes me immediately think of all the words for soft, gentle, light, still, water, etc etc., then the words I constantly think about for Mo Yi is messily human. He’s like a bundle of contradictions, but coherent because it’s being intentionally done.

Mo Yi doesn’t discriminate against his patients, yet he can be elitist and looks down on others. He wants to let MC have dangerous experiences, but also wants to protect her. He wants to be perfect, but he also wants to reveal himself entirely to his MC because that’s real love.

In contrast, Xu Mo has a very clean and orderly personality LOL. You can draw clear cause and effect lines from his personality to his actions.

So, anyway, these are two interesting characters who start off with similar archetypes as scientific logical men of scholar/gentleman dispositions, but yet they’re also on opposite ends for a lot of things such as their approach to emotions and the world.

Oh wait, lastly, because I don’t have a good place to put this—but I think it’s funny—is that both characters are pretty possessive and greedy, but while Xu Mo does things in a sneaky, cunning and fox-like way Mo Yi gets ridiculously open about his jealousy and it’s hilariously cute but also almost childish? I often forget Mo Yi is older than Xu Mo by a year, because Xu Mo honestly feels a bit more mature than him LOL. If we count them actually aging by when their game came out though, then Mo Yi is 28 and Xu Mo is 29 now.

[thesublemon]

planning ≠ coherence

I talk a big game about liking coherence in art, and it’s probably clear that I have an apophenic tendency to enjoy textual interpretation. And this might lead people to think that I have a preference for carefully planned and plotted art, or that I look down on the messy and improvisational. But this is actually almost the opposite of the case. Not because I don’t really like coherence, but because artistic coherence is something more complicated than planning, and isn’t even necessarily possible to achieve with planning.

The thing about improvisation, is that at its best it’s about finding the choice that feels right. I listen to jazz more than any other kind of music, and one of the reasons I like it so much is the exhilaration of someone landing on a musical idea that simultaneously makes a song feel bigger and more complete. A solo isn’t fun if it’s just a bunch of disconnected ideas (similar to how whimsy isn’t fun if it doesn’t also “work”). It’s fun if it picks up on the things that the other players are doing, or ideas that showed up earlier in the song, and then makes them feel like they go together. Even if they “go together” in the sense of being coherently discordant, eg repeating ideas that don’t work multiple times. If beauty is fit, then the joy of improv is finding fit in unexpected places.

This goes for narrative too. In long-running stories like comics, book series, and TV shows, much is often made about whether certain choices were planned from the beginning. If things were planned, that’s a reason for praise, and if things weren’t planned, that’s a reason for derision, either towards the showrunners or towards people attempting to interpret the work. Say, “This plot point only happened because an actor wanted to leave the show. Therefore it has no meaning to read into.” But making things up as one goes is not what makes a story lose its plot, so to speak. Making things up is only a problem if the things the artist makes up don’t go with what came before.

In Impro, a very excellent book about the craft of improvisation, Keith Johnstone calls this process of making-things-go-with-what-came-before “re-incorporation”:

The improviser has to be like a man walking backwards. He sees where he has been, but he pays no attention to the future. His story can take him anywhere, but he must still ‘balance’ it, and give it shape, by remembering incidents that have been shelved and reincorporating them.

Johnstone is big on the idea that satisfying narrative depends on a sense of structure, and that reincorporation is one of the most important tactics for creating structure. To paraphrase him, a story where a character runs away from a bear, swims across lake, and finds a woman in a cabin on the other side, and “makes passionate love” to her has no structure. It’s just a series of events. Whereas if the bear then knocks the cabin’s door down and the woman cries out that it’s her lover, then suddenly it feels like a story. Because not only has the bear been reincorporated, it has been linked to the woman. From this perspective, if a story has no sense of reincorporation, or new developments don’t make sense with what came before, then it will feel incoherent, no matter how planned out it was.

I also keep thinking about Paul Bouissac’s discussion of gags and narrative in The Semiotics of Clowns and Clowning. He explains that what makes a scene funny is not whether it strings a bunch of gags together, but how those gags are organized. To use an example from the book, it’s one thing for a clown to pretend to hurt its thumb, and ask for an audience member to kiss it. It’s another thing for it to keep hurting different parts and then finally hurt its groin and act scandalized at the idea that someone might kiss it. Bouissac calls this sort of repetition “anaphor”:

Anaphor is one of the main tools of textual consistency. In linguistics, it designates the use of pronouns or any other indexical units to refer back to another word or phrase in the text. It links together parts of sentences and bridges the grammatical gaps between clauses, which is a consequence of the linearity of language. In rhetoric, anaphors are repetitions of words or structures that build up the cohesion of discourse and create momentum toward a climax. In multimodal communication, words, gestures, objects, or musical tunes can play the same role by reminding the receiver—that is, the spectator in the case of a performance—of signs and events produced earlier in the act.

One of the things that fascinated me about Farscape as a teenager, was that in contrast to other scifi of the time, it made no pretenses of having been planned—unlike say, Babylon 5. Or even shows like The X-Files, Lost, or Battlestar Galactica that gave you the “feeling” of a plan whether or not they had one, or were capable of following through. Farscape felt incredibly coherent, both in terms of theme and plot, but this coherence came about purely on the strength of the writing’s ability to ideate and then reincorporate. It would take someone’s weird costume idea, like the villain having glowing rods that screw inside his head, and snowball that into a whole storyline where the villain is a half breed of one hot-blooded race and one cold-blooded race, and can only stay alive by thermo-regulating the inside of his brain. And then decide that his vendetta against the hot-blooded race has motivated his obsession with the protagonist since the first season. Yet these twists never feel like “ret-conning” in a pejorative sense, because it all feels narratively and thematically sensible. (Unsurprisingly, making the show was described as “more like improv jazz than plotting out a symphony”).

None of which is to say that I dislike planning or polish, either. Stephen King, as a so-called “discovery” writer, famously writes off the cuff, without outlines. As he puts it in On Writing:

You may wonder where plot is in all this. The answer—my answer, anyway—is nowhere. I won’t try to convince you that I’ve never plotted any more than I’d try to convince you that I’ve never told a lie, but I do both as infrequently as possible. I distrust plot for two reasons: first, because our lives are largely plotless, even when you add in all our reasonable precautions and careful planning; and second, because I believe plotting and the spontaneity of real creation aren’t compatible. It’s best that I be as clear about this as I can—I want you to understand that my basic belief about the making of stories is that they pretty much make themselves. The job of the writer is to give them a place to grow (and to transcribe them, of course).

But his best stories feel like whatever bloat might have been generated from this narrative improvisation has then been pared down to what that improvisation was really getting at. And I can’t lie, I get a particular joy from reading or watching something and feeling without a doubt that the artist is in complete control of my experience. It was one of the most gratifying aspects of rewatching The Wire recently: the feeling that the little meanings and foreshadowings I was seeing in each choice were almost certainly intended. Nothing is more satisfying to an apopheniac than feeling like the patterns you see are actually real. And nothing is more annoying than a story that tries to pull some sort of reveal on you (“Dan is gossip girl!” “Angel is Twilight!” “Rey is a Palpatine!”) that doesn’t make any sense because it wasn’t intended from the beginning. Just because those characters existed in the story before, doesn’t make it good reincorporation. So if a story is a story because of structure, then if the choice is between a planned structure and no structure, the former is almost certainly going to be better.

Point is, it’s not really the process that matters. All creativity is improvisational in a sense, because all creativity involves making things up. What matters is how dedicated an artist is to the integrity of their work. If a writer has carefully planned their whole story out, with every twist and every theme clearly in mind, but can’t adapt if they start writing and find out that something they planned doesn’t actually work, that’s one kind of failure mode. The narrative equivalent of designing a perfect castle and then building it on a swamp. On the other hand, if a writer tries to go with the flow, but can’t reincorporate that flow, then that will be another failure mode. To the extent that I respond to improvisational art, it’s because improvisational art is often more attuned to these questions of whether something is moment-to-moment right. But what matters, above all, is the rightness. That’s what defines coherence. Whether there is a sense in the work that it is oriented around something, and whether the choices contribute to that something.

[lizacstuff]

(1/2) At this point, I feel like talking about the last seven episodes of SCK is a bit moot, considering that the amnesia plot is done and the team of writers responsible for most of it is gone, but I am curious to get your opinion on whether you feel Serkan actually fell in love AGAIN with Eda. I personally don't feel that Eda and Serkan had enough meaningful interaction to suggest that he re-fell in love. There was definitely more "telling" than "showing" and the heart "remembering..."

(2/2) ...what the head didn't. I know I'm probably splitting hairs, and at this point, everyone is happy he regained his memory, so who cares? But I'm just feeling very unsatisfied with the storytelling. Meh.

Oh, I disagree. Well somewhat. See, I think they 100% showed us that Serkan fell back in love. However, I do agree that it was very unsatisfactory storytelling, and that they’ve exhausted me to the point that I’m also beyond really caring. I think we’re all beyond caring, because the truth is these writers dropped the ball so hard during this arc that I’m embarrassed for them. They were handed a slam dunk romantic story and they fell flat on their faces.

That being said I think they gave us plenty to suggest that Sekan fell in love. IMO it was obvious in episode after episode. You say they did more telling than showing, and I think its the opposite. They did plenty of showing. What they didn’t do is tell us straight out. Think about it this way, if Serkan had verbally admitted in this episode that he loved her prior to getting his memory back, say when asked by either Aydan or Engin, would we be having this conversation?

The problem is they didn’t do that and instead relied on what they showed us. And I think they showed us, in individual scenes, Serkan falling in love with Eda pretty much in every episode. The problem is that every episode, and sometimes in the very next scene in the same episode, they seemed to start him over back at square one so it was very disjointed for the viewer.  We’d have a romantic, emotional scene and then he would suddenly be a giant dick in the next scene without exploring on screen what was going on in his head. I think the writers themselves thought he was reacting to his trauma and guilt and manipulation and reacting against his blossoming feelings for Eda (ala ep 3) but they were lazy and clumsy and didn’t spend time and give us that insight so it just felt like whiplash. The execution of this story was appalling, I can’t believe how badly it was done (those writers suck) but the bones of it was all there.

Think back as far as episode 30. At breakfast he’s fixated on Deniz, very jealous, but is not remotely threatened or bothered by his own fiancé’s ex-fiancé who is right there. Then there is the bridal style carrying her, it was like a primal need he had in that moment to help her, and then that fireplace scene! Oh the fireplace scene. Now, I’m not arguing that he fell in love with her during that scene, but that was a very intense, very emotional, very romantic scene that showed that he was open to her, drawn to her, intrigued by her and experiencing feelings he didn’t understand. It pretty much opened the door for everything that came after and paved the way for how quickly he was going to fall for her again.

By 31, I’d argue that he was over 2/3rd of the way to being in love with her. He overhears Eda making plans with Deniz for that evening, so he invents a reason to go to his cafe, lies to his fiancé, stays all day until he can drive Eda home ensuring she doesn’t spend the evening with Deniz and then they have an adult, emotional conversation. Then they do the same on the boat, engaging in intense, emotional conversations, and when it’s over, he sends his fiancé, who has been missing, on her way so that he can sit there and think about Eda. Do you do that over someone you don’t love? Seriously? At the end of the episode when Eda’s wedding day was announced, he looked like he’d been run over by a truck. Again the only explanation for that reaction is deep, deep romantic feelings.

By 32, I’d argue that he was all the way there, but did not have the tools to recognize the emotions or deal with them. For the LOVE OF GOD he was sleeping in his office clutching her wedding invitation.  What other explanation is there for that, other than that he was in love with her? Would you do that when your business associate announces a wedding date? I’m guessing no. Then he spent the whole episode fixated on Eda and in turmoil. The coffee shop. Finding out she was in trouble and going back to the office to help. Being pleased that she fell asleep on his shoulder. Playing in the snow. He never would have thrown that party for Selin if Deniz hadn’t manipulated him into it by guilting him and telling him that Eda was only really happy now because he’d ALMOST DIED in a plane crash. However, the second she was in trouble he ghosted the fiancé on her birthday and went to rescue Eda and proceeded to be vulnerable with her.

In 33, they reset him again via Selin’s guilt, however he still was fixated on Eda, questioning her about her feelings for Deniz, going to find her at the flower shop and doing something entirely out of character for old Serkan by sitting down to make terrariums with her. Telling Engin that her scent was driving him crazy. Having Melo set up the dinner. And then kissing her. Again, this was very poorly rendered by the writers because none of the connectors between scenes really flow or make sense, but what they were trying to go for was that no matter how much guilt and emotional manipulation Selin laid on him after finding him sleep snuggling with Eda in the cabin, and no matter how upset he was that Eda remembered their great love, but could still discard him so easily, he couldn’t forget her and was constantly thinking about her and wanting to spend time with her.  Even after seemingly having Selin’s version of Eda verified by Ceren. Would he do any of that if he wasn’t in love with her? Again, I don’t think he could identify that feeling and admit to it, but that doesn’t make the feelings he was experiencing less real.

And in 34 it was pretty much full on. He doesn’t stop thinking of her for a minute in that episode. He’s fixated on wanting her to admit her relationship with Deniz is fake. Now he might tell himself that it’s because he wants to win their little battle of sexual tension, but really it’s that he so badly wants it to be true. He so badly wants for her to not have moved on from him. Eda screws up in this episode and lies to him about loving Deniz during a very sincere conversation, if she’d come clean, maybe he could have admitted his own feelings.

By 35, he’s full gone. He’s frantic when she fell off the yacht, way more so than Deniz who says he loves her. He was ready to leap into the sea, in the middle of winter, when they were probably no longer anywhere near where she went in, and then he leaps off that thing before it was fully docked in order to get to her and make sure she was okay. Wanting to jump in the water is the irrational reaction of a frantic man worried for the woman he loves.  

After that, the wedding prep drives him crazy. She drives him crazy. After seeing her in a wedding dress, he’s close to a full on panic attack and his heart practically fails on him. Even when they’re high on cake and tea, and being very close, he can’t let go of the fact she’s getting married the next day. He spends the whole episode clutching her necklace and brooding over it. It’s eating him up, but he won’t admit to Engin or Aydan that he’s in love with her, because he thinks she’s happy with another man. However, that doesn’t make those feelings any less real.

Would you walk on the docks at night starring longingly at a necklace of someone you didn’t love? Come on. He was fully back in love with her by at least 32, they showed it very obviously, they just didn’t tell us. The writers were able to give us plenty of great individual scenes that very clearly illustrated his feelings, they just weren’t able to put together a coherent narrative that told that story in a satisfying way. They suck, and turned what could have been a very romantic and lovely story into a disjointed mess but they didn’t ruin the characters. What Serkan was doing in every single scene, against all odds and attempts at abusive manipulation, was falling in love with her. 

[halfusek]

I have a random theory. The end of Abomination, Joey trying to.... y’know and Bendy makes him the ink demon, is that canon? Cause in chapter 5 he reveals he couldn’t d!3 but by only the end reel. Also in a hidden line from Henry as Ink Bendy is turning into Beast Bendy, Henry says “Joey?” At the ink demon. Could it be the reason why he has one human hand and the other is cartoon like? that Joey is actually the ink demon? That Joey tried to... y’know and couldn’t d!e so Bendy “helped” him and turned him into the Ink Demon? I dont know this just popped in my head and my brain thinks it’s canon-

Okay, so, to answer this ask to the best of my ability I’m gonna divide it to a few sections.

I would like to call the whole thing “Bendy canon is confusing and nothing is certain, and to have a coherent interpretation of the canon you need to either have some reaching conclusions or ignore things that are vague or suspicious”.

tldr: What you’ve said in this ask was more or less also my theory and why i made Abomination in the first place.

[Everything’s under the cut because I went off.]

1. Joey is the Ink Demon theory before Chapter 5 came out.

I’m not gonna waste time here trying to explain why we thought Joey could have been the Ink Demon when you can just read @adobe-outdesign​ ‘s post about it.

Whether you liked this theory or not you gotta admit it was very reasonable, connected Joey’s speech about cheating death with the wheelchair and Ink Demon’s bad foot. And it wasn’t like a person becoming a cartoon wasn’t a thing already: the game made it very clear that Susie became (Twisted) Alice.

However, this theory relied on Joey straight up being the Ink Demon.

Because you have character’s motivation, design and story all coming together:

Joey dying and being in a wheelchair -> Joey wants a perfect Bendy and not to die -> Joey becomes an ink creature but it goes wrong because he’s not a perfect fit -> The Ink Demon is born and has Joey’s bad foot and in general very human anatomy

But up until Chapter 5 we didn’t know if Joey was still “alive”, and an assumption we had to make for this theory to make most sense is that he’s dead but died as the last person or one of the last (because someone had to have made all those murders and other people were less likely except for Sammy perhaps).

If you didn’t want to accept this reasoning for Joey to be the Ink Demon you had to ignore the Ink Demon’s bad leg, a literal arrow with “Demon” written on it pointed at Joey’s audiolog and things like that. Of course all theories are valid, I’m just talking about how evidence is collected here, how some evidence supports theories and how some get in their ways.

2. Chapter 5 comes out.

Chapter 5′s release shed a lot of new light on the Ink Demon’s creation:

- he’s soulless,

- he was the first attempt of making an ink figure,

- he was the last and only Bendy attempt.

And on Joey:

- he was still there fine and dandy when the Ink Demon got created, acting all disgusted and disappointed about him, locking him up somewhere the investors wouldn’t see,

- he is alive when Henry enters the studio.

So, an easy conclusion drawn from it is that the Ink Demon can’t be Joey in a literal sense: Joey couldn’t have turned into the Ink Demon.

However, it doesn’t put an end to the connections between those characters, some things revealed in Chapter 5 even enhanced them:

- Joey is confirmed to be the one that needs to use the wheelchair.

- Ink Demon turns into Beast Bendy and Beast Bendy is straight up missing the foot that was bad - he additionally moves on his hands alone, kind of like a wheelchair bound person does.

So here’s some options (not the only ones but most popular and coherent takes):

- Joey is not the Ink Demon at all, the bad foot is just a meaningless design choice, or one that’s supposed to connect him to Joey for no reason (or as a “red herring” but this is not how red herrings are supposed to be executed).

Problem: ignoring a lot of evidence - because it’s meaningless due to the assumption of the conclusion.

- Joey isn’t exactly the Ink Demon but BATIM’s world is strongly implied to be some sort of a story, so the Ink Demon represents Joey and what kind of boss and person he used to be.

Problem: reaching, relies on Joey having control over the BATIM world and/or that world being a story + the “Joey?” question Henry asks is an unused file, meaning it’s not to be treated as canon information but perhaps one that used to be canon (or a meaningless easter egg/red herring, again, not how they should be working).

- There is not meant to be an answer, the viewer is supposed to pick one.

Problem: the devs are teasing for there to be a definite answer and not an open interpretation kind of ending, especially with another game being around the corner.

3. My post Chapter 5 conclusion and Abomination.

I’ve decided to run with the take that I enjoyed the most and build from here.

I’ve always been a Huge Fan of Joey being the Ink Demon.

But also, I didn’t want my take/comic to be an AU, I’ve wanted it to feel like a genuine interpretation of the BATIM canon, because that is simply what interests me most.

Therefore, I couldn’t ignore how strongly it is implied that the story of BATIM is... some kind of story in-universe.

You don’t just drop a “Tell me another one, uncle Joey.” for no reason.

But also also, BATIM being “just a story” in universe didn’t sit right with me (not to mention how disappointing that thought was).

So, I’ve started looking for proof supporting both the Story Theory and Not Just a Story theory and trying to piece them together. I’ve made a post about it long ago, and other people also made similiar posts, and hell even MatPat made a theory video basing off of these theories, I think no one wanted to just accept BATIM being simply a story with nothing real to it, hahah.

In my edition of it, the people who actually died in the real world were represented by the coffins with their names in the game - we can only find a few of these in the game and the rest are nameless.

And then I thought: ok but what about those people that don’t have coffins but do have some sort of ink creature that is most likely them like Allison Angel and Tom Boris? And on top of that there is Allison’s letter on Joey’s board which technically proves she outlived the studio, right?

So, then I’ve noticed that the number of named coffins, unnamed coffins and sacrificed items on pedestals in Chapter 1, roughly adds up to the number of characters we know (that are most important).

Based on all that I’ve decided to go with the idea that the characters dead in the real world are represented by the coffins and the characters dead in the story are represented by unnamed coffins and/or sacrificed items. That is because sacrificed items would explain why there is an ink creature connected to them without them themselves being sacrificed - as another kind of sacrifice has been made. Also - that was my partial explanation for the ritual taking place, because the game never bothered to give it more reason than “pleasing the gods” and then never mentioned the gods as an important part of the process ever again.

Then we get to another crucial part: what is the “story” world?

And here you can have plenty of takes but let’s boil it down to the most substancial undeniable thing: it’s connected to Joey’s regrets about his life. So here it can be either a direct results of his actions that he regrets, or a manifestation of his regrets.

Which is in a way... similiar to the Ink Demon/Joey dilemma.

Direct result or some sort of symbolism, manifestation.

Then the thought came to me: if there is a “story” version of Allison, Thomas and Sammy despite them not having coffins with their names, then is it possible for there to be a “story” version of Joey?

And the answer is: why not?

And then I look for proof. And, to my surprise, I find it.

This flashback is honestly one of the unexplained mysteries of Bendy.

Is it just a stylistic choice? If so then why are we clearly seeing Joey’s wheelchair being in the cartoony story studio?

It could be just that whatever makes Henry see those flashbacks made them like the rest of the world or Joey, a wheelchair bound Joey, has been in this story studio at some point.

There is also more complex evidence for this which I covered in this post, not gonna go over it here.

But that’s how I got the idea of there being two Joeys: real world one and story world one. And you can simply distinguish them in Abomination: one of them has more of “pencil” black and another more of “pen” black. Because I’m funny.

Having two Joeys solved a lot of issues: there can now be an alive Joey we see at the end of BATIM and an Ink Demon!Joey that we encounter in the game and who we have all of that evidence tied to.

And here’s where I come back to your ask.

This is more or less always how I’ve imagined Joey turning into the Ink Demon and I’ve wanted to give homage to that:

- The Ink Demon being made out of both Bendy and Joey and having them be represented by his different hands: a gloved, 4-fingered one and without a glove, human, 5-fingered one.

- Joey being the last one to die and filled with regret -> that’s why it’s a suicide. There is no one else to sacrifice him (anyone else would have just wanted to murder him in revenge) and suicide is a conclusion to the character development I gave him.

- Joey’s leg in the comic gets progressively worse, finally landing him in a wheelchair, his posture is not good -> Ink Demon’s bad leg and his sticking out vertabraes.

- There is also a reason why I made Joey’s death so gorey -> the Ink Demon is extremely thin, almost just a human skeleton wrapped in inky goo -> my Joey design is a tall, thin, lanky fellow who also died emptying his stomach.

- Holes in hands relate to cartoon Bendy’s gloves and Beast Bendy’s holes in hands.

- Joey stabbing his eyes out -> The Ink Demon not having eyes, the ink covering where his eyes should be -> Sillyvision = silly grin + eyes -> Vision is one of key words in the Bendy universe, very important to Joey, something he claimed he had as the main quality of his character, getting rid of his vision is the main part of his sacrifice.

- But Joey isn’t just turning himself into the Ink Demon. There already is a Bendy figure - which I have with premeditation made the Beta Bendy design. And here’s why: I’ve wanted to connect previous versions of BATIM but also Thomas’ and Joey’s Chapter 5 tapes gave me an impression that the first Bendy figure doesn’t exactly look as threatening as the Ink Demon does. So, I made him be just unnerving and off-model - the Beta Bendy design. The Ink Demon gets born when Joey and Bendy “fuse”, not making him another figure attempt, since there has been implied to be only one Bendy.

So, that has been my take of interpretating Bendy. 

It isn’t canon, we don’t know what exactly is canon.

Does it make sense? Probably more or less, yeah! Is it reaching? Yeah, absolutely! But it’s a conclusion I’ve had and have been happy with! :)

That is until new info started getting revealed which changed me from calling Abomination my interpretation of the Bendy canon to an AU.

4. The Handbook, DCTL, TIOL and BATDR.

Mainly DCTL, honestly. Because DCTL straight up drops some facts on us:

- A character can be turned into an inky creature even without a coffin: it’s what happened to Sammy, he wasn’t straight up murdered, just due to ink consumption he became his ink version. Now a coffin means that whoever died has left their body behind. And here’s the kicker: there is clearly no differentiating between the story and real version of the character. He’s just one. So it kind of goes against the story theory but not in a way that I’ve expected it to (and I’m sure a lot of people didn’t see it coming either).

- Buddy explores the real world studio which seems to be shifting: Joey’s office seems to be both down in the Administration and on top of the building. Adrienne has made a comment that how she described the studio is portraying it changing from a normal studio to this cartoony one from the game.

However, DCTL and TIOL both question reliability of what characters say and if characters even were ever real in the first place. Especially TIOL since it has Joey making up characters and lying left and right. If BATIM is his story, then who knows who is real and who’s not.

But if BATIM is Joey’s story that is at the same real so to tell it how he pleases he needs to be in control then how come Buddy makes sure to tell us he is not and then Joey in DCTL says that the director is not in control but the vision is but then in TIOL he says that he is control and ooohhhhhhhmygoooood.

And then they Keep On Giving Us Ink Demon/Joey parallels while making it less possible to explain why there is a connection between them.

And there comes BATDR, kicking the doors, that it has two Bendy’s even though BATIM established there was just one. Also Joey is Dead. Can he be this other toon Bendy now after establishing how he fits an off-brand Bendy in the Handbook???

- Problem: I built a house of cards and the devs slammed some books on the table and it fell apart.

[gingerteaonthetardis]

I keep having this feeling that from Nine's arc to Ten's, Ten kind of went backwards? Like... he lost Rose and then all the progress he made was kind of undone. Also, if Tentoo is also the Doctor, how can Ten be mad at him for killing the daleks without being a hypocrite? Like I love him, but if Nine had had more series, he really would have been against it. He said in the s1 finale! 'Coward. Any day.' Sigh. That's my personal unpopular opinion.

more complaining under the cut...

so, okay, some of that is obviously just a problem with having a show with no consistent cast. you pretty much always have to revert back to the status quo in order to keep moving without your main characters. that just has greater consequences in rtd's era, because of the whole "last time lord" situation he created, as well as framing rose as such a powerful protagonist. not to mention how strongly nine dislikes violence. obviously, there are exceptions, but his general rule is one of nonviolence.

ten had to go back to being brooding and damaged as the logical conclusion of losing the person who "made him better" (we'll get back to that), and The Doctor Is Tormented Over Gallifrey basically continues from that point until twelve. and i think they revived some of that with thirteen? idk, i didn't watch the newest season. but the point is, the show creates a problem for itself in that it can't let anything have much real impact moving forward, because a future showrunner can (probably will) always choose to abandon it. so, if we’re regressing back to Stock NuWho Doctor, why didn’t he go back to being chill and nonviolent? why did he, instead, become the Time Lord Victorious???

and, okay, fine, they’re trying to End The Whole Thing With Style, so i guess that wouldn’t bother me too much on its own. except for the whole, "you made me better, rose, so fix him, too!" like, for a start, rose obviously didn't "make you better" if you're going to just a) abandon her with what you perceive as a genocidal threat, and then b) immediately start ego tripping about being the lord of all time. like, forgive me for noticing, ten, but i think you might actually be the bigger threat and, by your own logic, need rose to fix you. which, god. that just disgusts me. but i guess that’s just another attempt at going back to Stock NuWho Doctor. “needs rose, check.”

the whole thing is badly wrapped up. rose doesn't deserve to be treated like t*ntoo's therapist or like the Magic Key to the doctor being Good. ten doesn't deserve to have his real and rational sadness over losing people (though really, he's abandoning them, including donna) turn into, like, a complete breakdown where he Becomes Evil For A Little. like, oh my god, could he not just fall out of a tree trying to save a kitten or something? ten really started us on the dramatic death/long lingering goodbye tour model of regeneration that exhausts me to this day.

anyway, sorry if none of this is coherent. i’ve got migraine brain. long story short: you are right and you should say it.

[valwrite]

leap frog; daveed diggs

masterlist.

summary: rafael casal can’t keep a secret. (read the sequels: hopscotch, hide & seek.)

warnings: possible second hand embarrassment, fluff, mentions of murder, cursing

fic type: drabble

word count: 2366

author’s note:  ahaha, i hate myself for writing this but i also love it, gn. feedback is appreciated! oh, and if i don’t reply to a comment or something, it’s just cause i’m dumb as shit and haven’t figured out how tf to do that yet 🥰

It was official. Y/N L/N was going to murder Rafael Casal.

And, boy, would she make sure it looked like an accident.

The man was a nuisance, a mad man, a big mouthed buffoon. And the reason she now had to avoid one Daveed Diggs at all costs from here on out. Considering Rafael lived just one door down from her made this a challenge, as Daveed had a habit of treating the other man's apartment as a second home.

The trouble began two weeks prior, when, after a miserable night out, Y/N had stumbled into the building elevator, feet aching to get out of her heels and breasts desperate to be freed from their confinement. Before she'd had the chance to press her floor button, a hand slid between the closing doors and in stepped Rafael Casal. The two exchanged glances and greetings before riding up to their shared floor in a comfortable and welcomed silence. Had this exchange taken place three months before, perhaps Y/N would have felt a lot more awkward and intimidated by her attractive neighbor. However, things had changed between them ever since they'd become friends. She'd tag along on nights out with his friends (who'd seamlessly welcomed her in as one of their own) and he'd come round for dinner every time he so much as smelt her cooking from next door. The elevator had reopened and the hallway they shared came into view. That was when Rafa made the proposal she'd end up regretting: “Do you wanna come in for a few drinks?”

She'd accepted because, well, it was free alcohol. The fact that his company was anything but bad was just an added bonus. A few drinks turned into many, even some shots finding their way into the mix of things, as she and Rafa talked the night away: she shared details of the horrible blind date she'd been set up on that evening while he ranted about how insufferably boring Daveed had been, claiming the man hadn't brightened up the whole night after hearing Y/N would not be in attendance at their get-together. She was sure her cheeks had turned as red as they'd felt when Rafa made that revelation.

The real mistake came towards the end of their drinking session and, really, neither of them knew how to explain how or why they wound up locking lips. What they did know was the following: it was a meaningless kiss, both of them laughed right after and it had been the most uncomfortable kiss either of the two had shared in their adult lives. Kissing him, Y/N would later realize, wasn't the problem though. It was what the kiss had unearthed.

“Oh my god, you have the hots for Diggs?!”

In three months of friendship, Y/N had learned three fundamental things about Rafael Casal:  he preferred pancakes over waffles, friendship with him was a package deal that included Daveed Diggs and, lastly, Rafael Casal was the biggest gossip in town.

Any secret, any hook up, any scandal. You name it and it was almost a guarantee that, not only did Rafa know about it but he was the source of it all. So, having him become aware on the fact she had a massive crush on his best friend? Yeah, there was no chance in hell Y/N could ever speak to Daveed again without self-combusting in embarrassment.

Now, back to present times, where Y/N finds herself tiptoeing around her own apartment, anything capable of making noise switched off and her own breathing being the only sound in the living space. Five minutes had passed since Daveed had last knocked at her door, saying nothing but her name yet still managing to put her on edge.

The logical part of her brain told her to open the door, because the poor guy was probably just confused as to why she had suddenly started ignoring his texts and stopped hanging with him and Rafa while they watched the Warriors play. The rest of her brain told her to stay put, wait it out and, once she was sure Diggs had left the building, grab the participation trophy she'd been given back in elementary school and use it to go beat Rafael's ass.

Operation: Avoid Double D was working, much to her own surprise, and she'd even started to feel a little impressed with herself when- thud! - a noise came from her balcony. The door of it lay wide open, much like the book she'd been reading out there before Daveed had come knocking, but the curtains were drawn shut, gently moving with the breeze from outside. Like a scene from a cheesy horror movie, she approached the balcony with caution, reached out to draw the curtain aside and gasped at the sight of Daveed comfortably sat in her chair, skimming through her book- a very, very worn out copy of Emma by Jane Austen - and sipping on her iced tea.

“I... How... What...” There wasn't a coherent sentence to be found in Y/N's brain. “Why are you on my balcony?”

“Well,” Daveed snapped her book shut and discarded it on to the small table next to him, all the while smiling innocently up at her. “I knocked on the door and you didn't answer.”

“So you figured breaking and entering was the only solution?!”

“Hey, hey, there was no breaking involved. Just, y'know, entering.” He stood up, reminding her of how much taller he was. “You're the one that left your balcony door open to the world, I just took advantage of that and jumped over from Rafa's.”

Y/N couldn't help but turn her back on him to gaze over at Rafael's own balcony. A fresh batch of laundry had been sat out to dry on it and Y/N noticed how the only plant Rafa owned had now died, nothing left but a dried up mess in it's place. She then thought of the space between the two balconies and, more importantly, the space beneath them both. Granted, she wasn't living in some top floor luxury apartment but she imagined a seven story drop was nothing short of unpleasant. Yet there was Daveed, all smiles and charms, having just jumped over the space as if it were nothing but some innocent, childish game of leap frog. She both wanted to scold him for being so reckless and praise him for being so brave.

Until she remembered the fact she was supposed to be avoiding him and this, clearly, was ruining any of her attempts.

“What do you need so badly from me that it compelled you to do something as stupid as that?” It seemed to be that scolding was the option she'd chosen.

“Answers.” Oh god no. That's it, time to eBay a body bag and a fake passport.

“Answers to what exactly?” When she was a child, Y/N had always tried to play coy to avoid confrontation. It appeared to be she hadn't changed much with age.

“Do you have any of those blueberry muffins left?” Okay, that was not where she thought this conversation was going. “Rafa ran out of the batch you made him and he's too afraid to ask you for more, since you demanded payment last time, so he sent me over here to charm two muffins out of your pantry.”

“You're in luck. I made some last night.” They could have every last piece of food in her kitchen for all she cared, so long as that were the only thing Daveed wanted from her. Though, she was still contemplating manslaughter when it came to Rafa considering he'd sent over Daveed, knowing fine well why she was steering clear of the man. He was shameless in his meddling.

“So,” Daveed's voice and footsteps followed behind her into the apartment as she desperately aimed for the kitchen area. “how come you didn't answer the door earlier?”

“I was, uh,” I was trying to avoid you because I want nothing more than to bake muffins with you and have you nakedly recite poetry to me and that's an issue because we're friends and you don't even think about me that way. “Shower. I was showering.”

“You hair's not wet.”

“Never heard of a hair dryer? Jeez old man, catch up.” At this point, her hands were clammy from her own nervous sweat but she'd pulled out the tray of muffins and shoved the lot of them over to him. All she had to do was get him out of her apartment, then things would be fine. “Here you go, thanks for stopping by. See you later.”

“Wow, wow, wow! Calm down, girl!” Did he have to smile at her like that? “Why're you trying to get rid of me? I asked for two muffins, Y/N, not the whole batch.”

“Just take them, I forgot that I don't really like blueberries anyways.” If there was an Olympic sport for colossal idiots, she'd have won gold, silver and bronze.

“You didn't answer my question,” Daveed took one step forward and she took one step back, internally screaming as she felt her back bump against the counter. “why're you trying to get rid of me?”

“I'm not!”

“Okay then, why haven't you been answering my texts or calls?”

“Because I lost my phone.”

“The same phone that I saw on your coffee table?”

“You found it! My hero!” The body bag was no longer going to be used on Rafa, she was pretty sure she was one more comment away from dying of embarrassment.

“Y/N.” When had Daveed gotten so close to her? And why did he have to say her name like that? Her hand gripped on to the surface behind her and she gulped, struggling to maintain eye contact with him.

“Daveed.” She replied lamely, just begging that he'd turn around, grab the tray of muffins and leave.

“What's really up?” His words were softer and more serious, much like the look in his eyes. “You won't answer your phone, you haven't watched the recent games with us, you won't answer the door to me. I just... Look, if I done something or said something that made you uncomfortable, I'm sorry. I really miss you though, so does Rafa. So if there's anything I can do to fix whatever I did, just tell me. I'll do it. Anything.”

And now, ladies and gentleman, please buckle your seat-belts and get ready for take off, destination: Guilt Trip.

“No. Fuck, Daveed, no. You didn't do anything. Trust me, it's all my fault. I'm really sorry.” The words tumbled out of her quickly whilst her eyes fixated themselves with staring down at her nervous hands. “I know that Rafa told you and, just, I'm really sorry. I promise, I'm trying to get rid of them, it's why I've sort of been avoiding you. I don't want to ruin our friendship.”

“Rafa told me... what? Who are you trying to get rid of?”

“Wait,” Oh sweet hypothetical baby Jesus, had Rafael Casal not spilled the beans? Did he really not know? “he didn't tell you?”

“I'm confused.” Daveed said, his eyebrows furrowing slightly as he continued to gaze down at her. “Was he supposed to tell me something? Wait, did he make a move on you or something? Cause I'll put him in his place if I have to.”

“Technically we made a move on each other.” The words flew out of her before she could stop it and she noticed immediately how his face contorted into a frown. “Not in that way! It was just a drunk kiss that we both regretted.”

“And he was supposed to tell me about it?”

“Huh? No! Ugh, look Daveed,” She'd already made a fool of herself enough, she may as well just round it all off with the mother of all embarrassments. Go big or go home, right? And, well, she was technically already home and with nowhere else to go. “I like you. Like, the way a bee likes honey or the way a dog likes a bone. A lot. But I get it, you don't like me and that's chill but would you please just give me the time and space to sort myself out and get over it so we can go back to being friends?”

“But I don't wanna be friends with you, Y/N.” Well done, idiot. So much for honesty being the best policy. “I mean, I don't know how I feel about being compared to honey or a bone but I do know how I feel about you. I think you're smart and beautiful, and stubborn and kind of a dork. And I really like it, you. I really like you.”

“Oh.” Oh? Oh?! Fucking oh!? That's all you can say to that. She couldn't stand living in her own head-space.

“I'm gonna ignore the fact that you and Rafa made out or whatever and just get straight to the point of asking you on a date. Tomorrow night, seven pm. Wear something easy to move around in.” Gentle fingers tilted Y/N's head up by her chin, forcing her to stare into his eyes. They were warm and welcoming, like chocolate chip cookies fresh out of the oven and melting with love. “Who knows, maybe by the end of the night you'll finally get a good kiss from a Bay Boy.”

“Why would Rafa kiss me at the end of our date?” At least she could still joke among the shock. “And you more or less just demanded I go on a date with you. No questions were made.”

“If demanding is what it takes,” He leaned down, his mouth hovering dangerously close to hers. “then so be it.”

Where she'd expected a kiss, she found nothing but empty space and the sight of Daveed picking two muffins out of the tray. Wide eyed and honestly a little confused about what events had just transpired in her kitchen, she watched as he finally headed for her door, suddenly not enjoying the thought of him leaving as much as before.

“Oh, and Y/N?” He was halfway out of her apartment, grinning back at her. “Rafa did tell me, I just wanted to hear you say it yourself.”

He slammed the door shut on the sound of Y/N cursing out the very man that was Rafael Casal.