#Used my reusable cup today for the first time since before the start of the pandemic. finally getting back to better practices again

[gippyworm]

Also ngl War on Waste is so good but got me staring at my HSP like... oh no.... this type of styrofoam packaging was found to have high levels of PFAS (very nasty super bad chemical that never breaks down) and now I'm just sitting here like. Wondering if next time they would accept me passing over my own reusable container to put it in maybe... I might have to go in and ask

[marco-newgate]

Marco X CisFem Reader

5

"Good morning lass." Pops murmured emerging from the hall that lead to both of your respective rooms.

"You're up early." You turned toward the single cup coffee maker taking his dark roast blend out of the cabinet and pouring it into the reusable metal cup.

"Could say the same for you. The sun isn't even up. I wish you'd been like this in your school days." He chuckled taking a seat at the table.

"Don't underestimate me; I can still sleep the day away if given the chance. Still two sugars and a drop of milk?" The old man nodded, "I just wanted to get some apartment hunting done before work."

"I hope you're not in a rush to leave, we only just got you back."

"You talk like I wasn't home every Sunday evening." You placed his cup on the table and took your seat in front of your laptop.

"You know you can stay as long as you want. There's more order when you're around and I miss my only daughter."

"Thanks pops. It'll be a while; I'm just looking at places right now." You smiled.

Marco shambled down the stairs yawning. His lavender button down falling open, revealing the white cotton tank beneath that you could faintly see the outline of his chest tattoo through. A black tie hung over his shoulders.

"Morning F/N, pops." He continued to the coffee maker taking his mug from the hook below the cabinet.

Pops hummed standing to make his way to the patio to watch the sun rise. This was a morning ritual he'd had as long as you'd known him. Occasionally on cold mornings you'd join him, neither of you breathing a word, just simply enjoying the view.

"Morning Pineapple ~ " You sipped your coffee, "You were out late."

"Was I?" The blond cocked his head, "I didn't know I had to report in yoi."

"You don't." Your brows knit, "I was just surprised you're up so early."

"It is a school day." He sighed buttoning the shirt.

"Kids have electives first period now?" You asked.

"It's block scheduling now yoi. I have four hour and a half classes a day." He sat next to you.

"What's first on your agenda?"

"Art four is first period today. They're my smallest class so we're doing silk screening."

"Ah that's so cool. I had to retake algebra two senior year so I had to drop art." You frowned.

"I remember." The blond chuckled, "Pops was so disappointed."

An embarrassed flush spread over your cheeks.

"You want me to make you a tee shirt yoi?" He flipped his collar up and started to fumble with the tie.

"Really? It's been a super long time since you made me anything." You smiled watching him clearly have a hard time, "Come here you aren't doing it right."

He scooted toward you and tipped his chin up.

"I have to make an example for them anyway." He hummed.

"OK I'll give you one of my plain shirts before you leave." You wove the tie around your fingers, "How do you wear a tie every day and not know how to tie it?"

"Thatch ties them and I leave them that way yoi." You rolled your eyes, "How do you know how to tie them?"

You chuckled as he glanced down at you brow cocked.

"Thatch. He said it'd be a great way to impress a boyfriend one day." You winked, "Impressed?"

"I can't believe he was teaching you how to seduce guys in high school." He scoffed looking away from you as you straightened the tie.

"I was too awkward to use those skills anyway." You laughed sitting back to admire your work, "There you look sort of respectable."

"It was useful in the end huh?" Thatch's voice chimed from the doorway.

His hair was down and his shirt was stained with lipstick and missing buttons.

"Look at you walk-of-shaming on a Monday." You laughed crossing the room for another cup of coffee.

"Ah yeah." He flashed a cheeky smile, "Gonna hit the shower before anyone else gets up."

"Yeah I gotta get going too yoi." Marco stood cuffing his sleeves.

"Oh the shirt." You disappeared down the hall reappearing with a heather gray v-neck.

"Thanks. Have a good day at work." He tossed your shirt over his shoulder and pecked your cheek before heading out the door.

"D-did Marco just kiss you?!" Ace practically shrieked - obviously as surprised as you.

You whipped around to face the wide eyed raven unable to find any words and even if you could you weren't breathing.

Breathe!

Ace crossed the room grabbing your shoulders and scrunching his freckled face.

"What's going on here F/N?"

"I- I don't think he even knows he did it." You breathed.

"How could he not? He doesn't do stuff like that." He argued.

"I'm just as confused as you." You shrugged out of your best friend's grasp.

"Heeeeey F/N!!!" Luffy called stomping down the stairs, "Can you drop me off at the campus library on your way to work?"

"S-sure ya got 10 minutes to get ready and meet me at the car." You replied screwing your travel lid onto your coffee cup.

Ace just stood in the middle of the kitchen.

"Don't make a big deal out of it. It was nothing." You tapped his cheek and turned for the door stepping out on the porch.

"What happened to Marco?" Pops asked from his seat on the bench swing, "He came out here red as a tomato."

"No idea." You replied coolly before kissing the old man's cheek and hopping down the steps, "Have a great day pops!"

"You too." He called back. 

[jockvillagersonly]

I was just wondering a thing

In dmbj universe, people stay in wild of far away or in tombs for days. While staying there how women and trans people deal with their periods? Like whole tomb raiding shenanigans can't be scheduled with taking care of everyone's periods nor can they text periods to come later.

[emerges from my hiatus coffin Nosferatu style because it’s time to talk about GENDER]

Ok first thanks this is SUCH a good question. If NPSS wasn’t like, so aggressively a cis man we might have a canon answer, but as it is I’m gonna extrapolate from real life and make some guesses!!

My first instinct would be to look at how people with periods cope with long distance, multi-day trekking today. This website touches on a few practices I think tomb raiders with periods would probably also use: (1) keeping used sanitary items in Ziplock bags for later disposal, and (2) using unscented baby wipes and hand sanitizer for sanitation

It’s also possible modern tomb raiders with periods use birth control, whether or not they’re worried about pregnancy, for assistance in regulating / moderating their flows + hormonal shifts

For folks in the Mystic Nine era (1933), things would definitely look different! In the late 1920s, there were some pads available, so it’s definitely possible tomb raiders with periods in the late ‘20s were using pads. If they were, they likely used Kotex disposable pads, which were quite popular at the time (though far from perfect), and were being advertised in China as early as 1928. Keep in mind, though, that self-adhesive pads weren’t around until the 1970s; to wear a pad, a person with a period would also need to wear a ~sanitary belt~ or other clothing item designed to hold the pad in place. Annoying, but probably better than a just bleeding everywhere?

More under the cut, since I had a lot to say I guess!

Alternatively, 1920s-30s folks might have used / repurposed surgical gauze; many early pads — including those Kotex ones — came from wartime advancements in surgical gauze in WW1. Plus, a tomb raiding team would be sure to have a significant supply of surgical gauze on hand! Obviously, this wouldn’t be super comfortable (if you’ve ever stuff toilet paper in your underwear as a makeshift pad, it sucks), but it might be more flexible — a noted and necessary benefit for a tomb raider, whereas the Kotex pads were known to be cumbersome.

However, as the articles cited touch on, many of these pads were problematic in one way or another — reusable ones were annoying to clean; disposable ones were inflexible, burdensome, or not sturdy. All of that sounds problematic for a tomb raider on the go; it would probably behoove a tomb raider with a period to plan, as much as possible, for their period to arrive before they enter the tomb, when disposal / care of used sanitary products will be more convenient. This could, of course, be problematic if you were trans and not out or otherwise hiding the existence of your period; while Chinese attitudes were starting to open up towards periods in the late 20s, there was still a long legacy of periods as being deeply, inherently private — which would make openly planning around your period difficult, especially in a predominantly cis male setting.

The first commercially successful tampon was marketed in 1931, so it’s definitely possible our Mystic Nine era folks were using tampons. However, I’m gonna say it is probably unlikely, and similarly unlikely for our later Paracel Islands team and South Sea King team; according to consumer polls, tampons are not the preferred sanitation product choice in China today. A cursory Google search didn’t turn up much on advertisements for tampons in China in the 1930s, either. Similarly, while a rubber cup (think today’s diva cup) was invented in the early ‘30s, it wasn’t a commercial success; I couldn’t say for sure if it was even marketed in China at the time. Another unlikely choice, though for modern tomb raiders it would have the benefit of not producing non-bio waste?

For folks prior to the ‘20s (or folks using more traditional methods), I wasn’t totally able to verify if this is accurate but a few websites mentioned that parts of ancient China would wrap sand or fiber in cloth; when the “pad” soaked through, they would toss the filling and wash the cloth. This might be slightly more functional in a tomb setting (“don’t mind me, just gonna toss my period sand over in the corner here thanks”), though I’m not sure how disposal would intersect with traditional / Confucian norms around yin and yang energy, which we see discussed in DMBJ as part of tomb raising “etiquette” or sense

Tangentially Related:

NPSS originally conceptualized XG as a (presumably cis) girl, apparently, which: would her period blood have typical Zhang powers? Also, would the Zhang clan be a matriarchy OR would the title of clan head be non-gendered OR would the Zhang clan be patriarchal and she would be an exception? How would her gender figure into her being chosen as the replacement mythical baby, and/or her having to (unwillingly, admittedly) scrounge together the shattering, fragmented remnants of a clan collapsing in on itself? 

We’re talking early 1900s — how strong would she have to be to rally even the small amount of main line Zhangs that canonically have XG as their patriarch? Would her gender be weaponized against her, or seen as “proof” of her illegitimacy? If the Zhangs were inherently a patriarchal clan, would she be othered from her gender in the same way XG is (presumably) othered from his Tibetan heritage (acting under the assumption that XG’s mom is not Han Chinese living in Tibet; I haven’t read Tibetan Sea Flowers, so feel free to correct me if I’m wrong!)?

[maknaesdancersrappers]

the truth about you.

⁕ commission  ⁕

warnings » smut (explicit sex scenes; oral, fingering, corruption kink), language (repetitive use of profanities), themes (friends with benefits, underage drinking, pregnancy scare), angst (please have a fluff fic ready to read after this one)

genre » high school!au, fwb!au

word count » 25k

playlist » link

dedicated to  » jae ♡ ; thank you so much for commissioning this fic, it was draining to be honest, but i’m happy of how it turned out and i’m glad you enjoyed it.

+ timeline is a bit messy, but hopefully none of you catch it ㄟ( ▔, ▔ )ㄏ

terminology » yakgwa (korean honey cookie), ssireum (korean wrestling)

The library is your safe haven. The soft murmurs, the books, the cold air — all of these brought you peace and was the most ideal studying environment for you. It didn’t matter to you if your schoolmates called you a nerd all your high school life; let’s see who’ll be graduating with honors and, hopefully, a full scholarship to Seoul National University.

The only time you didn’t enjoy the library was when midterm exams were around the corner and students were cramming at the library, rushing to make reviewers, or even learn what they should have already known had they listened during class. This was the breeding ground for one of your pet peeves: people who can’t control the volume of their voices. Why do they even bother whispering if the entire library could hear it? You especially hated those whose voices get gradually louder and louder until they’re already practically exclaiming.

You would have gone to a lesser known cafe but you’d have to pay for a drink to stay there, whereas the library allowed you to bring in your own drinks as long as they were in reusable cups or tumblers. Today, however, you were only dragged here despite it being peak cramming season because your best friend had begged you to tutor him.

“I love you with all my heart, [Y/N].” Jungwoo grabs your hands and brings it to his chest. “Only you could teach me chemistry better than Mrs. Yoon—”

“Okay, okay, I get it.” You had just arrived at the table he was able to reserve and barely put your things down before he started acting dramatic. “Just highlight which topics you don’t get—”

“Everything.” He says in one breath, pulling out the best puppy eyes expression he could muster.

“Everything?” You browsed through your chemistry notes and sighed. This was going to take longer than you expected.

Sensing your apprehension, Jungwoo grabs your hands again, “I’ll buy you lunch for two days, please!”

You sit down beside him after shaking his hands off yours and settling in, “That’s not why I’m having second thoughts, Woo. I need to study for other subjects, too.”

Jungwoo scoffs, crossing his arms and leaning away from you, “Baby, you’re top 1 of the entire batch.”

“No, I’m not.” You scowled, turning around to grab your pencil case from your book bag. As you did so, excited murmurs erupted from the table beside yours and curiously, you followed the gazes of the girls to the door that had just closed. Sitting back up, you huffed, “I would be if he wasn’t around.”

Your best friend moves his attention to the person in question and lets out a sound of acknowledgement.

Jaehyun was never your classmate, but he’d been vying for the top spot against you for years. He was the living proof that God had favorites; blessing him with brains, beauty, and brawns. Aside from being an honor student, he played for the school varsity basketball and was a substitute player for the soccer team. This guy was annoyingly handsome as well; drop dead gorgeous with flawless, fair skin.

“He’s so hot.” Jungwoo sighs, taking a second to realize what he said and looked around to make sure only you had heard. “You know I was classmates with him freshman year, right? After gym, all the guys would shower in the locker room and I could confidently tell you that he’s packing—”

“Jungwoo!” You scolded, raising your voice just loud enough to get hushed by the librarian and everyone turns their heads towards you. You mouthed an apology and bowed your head, feeling your cheeks heat up in embarrassment. Of all the places your eyes could fall onto, it had to be on Jaehyun, who by the looks of it, was amused at what had happened. “I hate you.” You whispered to Jungwoo.

“Sorry. At least everyone’s a lot quieter than earlier.” He gestures to your notebooks, “Let’s get started. You know I can’t fail chemistry.”

Before you could open your notes, Jaehyun is looming over your table and leaning on one arm.

“Hi, Jungwoo.” He greets, flashing that infamous dimpled smile.

“The last time we spoke was during freshman year.” Jungwoo points out, unaware he sounded rude, but Jaehyun didn’t seem fazed by it. In fact, he seemed to agree with the statement.

“Do you need something?” Your peripheral vision catches some jealous frowns from the other table, “We’re kind of busy.”

“[L/N] [Y/N].” Jaehyun cocks his head to the side, “I was just wondering why you’re here during midterm season. You never study in the library during this time.”

“How do you know?” You ask, glancing at Jungwoo. He’s already ignored Jaehyun, reading through his notes.

“I like to keep my eye on the competition.”

Even this makes Jungwoo look back at him, moving his gaze back and forth between the two of you.

You stare up at him, a little dumbfounded, before your brows slowly rise up. “So you keep tabs on me?”

“I was really disappointed in myself when I was top 2, you know. But I gotta admit,” He chuckles, “It’s impressive how you were able to beat me a couple of times.”

There was something in his tone that didn’t sit right with you. It wasn’t just him being conceited about it. Is he taunting you?

“Well, it’s not a difficult feat to beat you.” You shot back.

Jaehyun smirks, clearly enjoying this squabble with you. “So you think you could beat me? There’s only two major exams left for senior year. This week’s midterm and next year’s final exams before graduation. You think you could beat me for both?”

“You can bet on it.”

“[Y/N].” Jungwoo whispers, putting a hand on your arm, “What do you think you’re doing?”

“Bet? You wanna bet on it, [L/N]?” Jaehyun straightens himself up and crosses his arms over his chest, emphasizing how tight his sleeves are on his shoulders and biceps.

You could have been swooning with Jungwoo right now but there was a flame of aggression burning in your chest at the prospect of beating Jaehyun and getting him to do something for you. “We can decide what’s at stake after the exams.”

“Deal?” He puts out one hand towards you, a confident smile plastered on his face.

For the brief second you hesitated, you thought of all the possible things he’d ask for. Bragging rights, definitely. Personal assistant, maybe? He wouldn’t ask you to do something wild like run naked during one of his halftimes, would he?

“Scared?” He pulls you out of your thoughts and you huff at him, grabbing his hand and giving it a firm shake.

“Deal.”

Jaehyun grins at you, repeating the agreement, and bids both of you a good day. Once he leaves and joins the table two rows down. Did he really skip his table just to challenge you?

“Are you crazy?” Jungwoo pulls on your arm and you wince at the pain, “The only reason that guy is an honor student and plays for two sports is because he’s competitive as fuck. Don’t you remember he got benched for the consecutive fouls he got in sophomore year because we were losing by 2 points? 2 points! And it was only the first half of the game!”

You do, in fact, remember that time. You couldn’t stay long too watch the game and ran into him while you were heading out. That was the first time you ever interacted with him, as well as putting a face to the name that stole the top spot of the honor’s list. He was visibly annoyed; silently fuming in front of the vending machine and angrily jabbing his finger at the canned iced coffee button. Curiously, you approached him to ask if it was broken and he apologizes, saying he just didn’t have change on him since he was wearing his uniform. He moves away to let you use the machine and you end up buying him one before catching the bus to your old dorm.

“I remember and so what? Do you think he’s going to cheat? He’d be expelled.” You briefly glance at your notes before glaring back at him, “Do you think I can’t beat him?”

“No.” Jungwoo shakes his head, “But what if he does? We don’t know what he would do to you.”

“I’m sure it’ll be fine.” When he opens his mouth to rebut, you quickly ask him, “What’s the atomic number of gold?”

You always entered the classroom during exams with confidence; not an ounce of panic or distress in your system, unlike the rest of the class as they scrambled to check their reviewers a few more times until the teacher came inside. 

Today was a little different.

There was a heavy, upsetting feeling in your stomach all because the bet between you and Jaehyun was nagging at you in the back of your mind. You poured in a few more hours a day to review, even during your part time work at the convenience store Jungwoo’s family owns.

Speaking of Jungwoo, he looked a lot more confident than you. He was fiddling with his pencil and murmuring to himself, probably recalling the terms needed for the exam.

The teacher comes in and the whole class falls silent, sitting straight in their seats. Because you were seniors, Mr. Cho took it upon himself to give a small speech about how this exam isn’t something to worry about as he has full confidence in everyone that they’ve studied well. Of course he said this while smiling at you and you’re hoping you didn’t over-study yourself to the point of blanking out when the test papers are in front of you.

Fortunately, when he was done with his little monologue and finally passed the papers, you were able to breeze through the questionnaire once he gave the go signal to start. You were even able to go through your answers thrice until time was up. Your worries start to ebb away as the day continues on and until the last test is submitted in, you finally feel the weight over your shoulders lift.

“That was exhausting.” Jungwoo complains once he walks over to your table with his bag haphazardly hanging off his shoulder. “Why can’t there be two days for exams?”

“We had too many suspensions because of the monsoons.” You reminded him, standing up once you’ve gathered your things. “But at least it’s over. How was chem?”

He groans, hiding his face into his palms, “I messed up a few of the balancing chemical equations, but I think I did pretty well. I mean, I can only thank my wonderful tutor if I get so much as a B- on chem.”

“Aunty said she’d make yakgwa for us for finishing our midterms. Could you save some for me?”

Students were rushing out of the room, meeting their friends in the hallways to express their joy and relief that the exams were over and discussing their answers. You and Jungwoo always waited until the crowd had thinned before heading out yourselves.

“Sure. Where are you heading off to?”

Reaching your lockers, you grabbed a book and slipped it into your bag. Seeing this, Jungwoo bleats at you.

“We just finished midterms and you’re going to start studying already?”

“The next exam we have is CSAT in November. I just want to start refreshing myself since the coverage is what we’ve learned through high school. I’m not pulling an all nighter or anything.” You close your locker and adjust your bag strap on your shoulder. “Do you wanna join me?”

He makes a face at you, stepping away, “No, mom made yakgwa and I’d like to eat them as soon as possible. I’ll leave you one piece, okay?”

You swing an open palm at his arm and he flinches away, retracting his statement and promises to save you no less than 5 pieces. With that, you two part ways down the hall and you head for the library.

The silence was welcoming as you walked through the automatic sliding doors of the library. There’s a few people scattered throughout the first floor tables, maybe passing time or preparing for CSAT like you — you couldn’t possibly be the only one thinking about it, too. For a change, you head up to the second floor and find a nice corner table that was tucked away between the towering bookshelves of the periodical section.

You set your little station up, taking your pencil case, notebook, and your history book out and setting it down in front of you. Opening it up to the first page of the first chapter, you look through the words you’ve already highlighted, remembering each one while mumbling it to yourself.

“Studying already?”

You gasp, whipping your head up to the newcomer and huffing when you recognize his face. “Oh my god, Jaehyun. Can you not sneak up on me?”

He pauses for a moment before his lips grew into a little smirk, “Midterms just finished and you’re burying your nose into a textbook in the library. I feel like I shouldn’t even be surprised.”

“So I want a head start in reviewing for CSAT, what of it?” You watched him take a seat on an empty chair with disdain. “You’re here, too.”

“Yeah, because I saw you go in here after you separated with your boyfriend.”

“Jungwoo’s not my boyfriend. We’re best friends.” You quickly correct him, “So you’re stalking me?”

Jaehyun sighs, leaning his cheek on his knuckles over the table. “I’m just keeping an eye on the enemy.”

“Enemy?” You frown at him, “You think of me as your enemy?”

“Well, we’re both running to be valedictorian, aren’t we? There could be only one.”

You nod at his words, “Yeah, but I don’t think of you as the enemy. I think it’s too strong of a word.”

“Then what am I to you?”

“Some guy,” You shrug your shoulders, “Some guy who’s in my way.”

Your words make his mouth slowly drop open and you can’t figure out if he’s stunned or offended by your statement. Eventually Jaehyun scoffs in disbelief and smiles, “I’m in your way?”

“Yep.” Emphasizing your answer by popping your lips at the ‘p’, “Like you are now.”

“Am I distracting you?” He gestures to himself and items on the table.

“Obviously.”

“Good.”

You closed your eyes and heaved a heavy sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose. Glancing around, you two were practically concealed in the corner and you couldn’t see where you could move to.

“Are you really here just to annoy me?”

Jaehyun purses his lips and you scold yourself for staring at them. How could a boy have such pretty lips? They look naturally pink and plump. Even Jungwoo’s pouty puckers couldn’t come close to his.

“Unless you consider me trying to get to know you a nuisance, then yes, I am most definitely here to annoy you.”

You prop your elbow up on the table and leaned your cheek on your knuckles, “Now why would you waste your time on something like that?”

He mimics your posture, except he cradles his chin on an open palm, “What makes you think it’s a waste of my time?”

The longer he stares at you, smiling softly with his dimples just peeking through his cheeks, the more your heart beats faster. This was only the third time you’ve ever interacted with him and the most you’ve exchanged words.

“Why are you flirting with me—”

“Why not—”

“ — and don’t,” You unconsciously lean away from him and cross your arms in front of you, “answer with a question.”

Jaehyun pouts, jutting his lower lip out, and it makes you wonder how they feel like; against your fingertips, your skin… your own lips.

Unconsciously, you lick your own lips as you divert your attention down to the open book.

“Hm,” He hums, “Have you thought about what you want if you win our little bet?”

“I have.” You rest your intertwined arms on the table and straighten your back, “Are you free every Friday and Saturday nights?”

There was a sleazy grin on his face that immediately tells you he’s misunderstanding your question. He chuckles, “You don’t have to win a bet if you want to go out on a date.”

You giggle, making it sound as real as you can as you fight the urge to roll your eyes, “I’m not asking for a date, Jung.”

It was oddly satisfying to see his face fall and stutter over his mistake, the tips of his ears turning a little pink.

“I just want you to take a few shifts for me at my part-time job.” You explained, “I work at a family convenience store every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday nights, and every morning on the weekends.”

“So let’s say you do win the bet and I take over your shifts,” Jaehyun grabs your pencil case and inspects it. Seeing it in his hands makes you realize just how old and dirty it was; it’s a furry case that was a shining silver when you first got it, as if the fibers were spun out of real silver. Now it was just a light gray with its once soft fur now patchy and rough. He looks at it contemplatively, “What are you going to do on your free nights?”

“Go on dates, duh.” You roll your eyes at him, gesturing with a hand. After a few seconds of silence, you snort, “I’m kidding. I don’t go on dates — never been on one. What I’d do on my free nights is not your business.”

He looks at you like you’ve grown another head, “You’ve never been on a date?”

“N-no...” You clear your throat, “Unless you consider all the times I’ve went out on Jungwoo—”

“Is he your boyfriend?”

“No!” You hissed, “I already told you that we’re only friends.”

“Then it’s not a date.” Jaehyun says in a-matter-of-fact tone, “You go on dates with people you like to get to know them more. Wait.”

His eyes squint at you, but not in a manner of judgement. It's as if he’s trying to rack his brain for the right words to say.

“You’re a virgin, then.”

You feel your heart drop to your stomach and your cheeks burst into flames. It was purely reflex, reeling your hand and swinging an open palm across his cheek before either of you could blink. The snap of your palm on his cheek left a resounding echo in the nearly empty library and thanks to his pale skin, your handprint grows bright red right away.

It takes a second, but you realize what you’ve done and you begin to pack up your things.

“No, wait,” He grabs your wrist, “I deserve that. Don’t leave yet.”

Against your better judgement, you stayed put, although keeping your book bag on your lap.

He breathes in, “I’m sorry. That was none of my business.”

“Did I,” You move your head closer to the imprint on his face, “Did I hit you too hard?”

He raises his fingers to where you’ve slapped him, doing his best not to wince, “I’ve been through worse. You know, you’re the first girl to ever slap me.”

“Are you insinuating that you’ve done things that you should have been slapped for?” You ask in an incredulous tone, “Either way I can’t say I’m proud of it.”

“There’s nothing wrong with being a virgin, by the way. It’s your life.” He licks his lips, “So you want to wait until you’re married?”

You shrug your shoulders, “It’s not that I want to wait until I get married… it’s just… it seems daunting. How do you even know what to do?”

He stifles a chuckle, shaking his head, “It’s human nature. It’s not something you study for.”

“As someone who takes studying seriously, I don’t think I can be put into a situation where I’m expected to do something I have no knowledge on.”

Jaehyun stares at you, considering your words as he slowly nods, “Okay… would you… like to learn?”

You cock your head, thinking you misheard him, “What?”

“I’m asking you if you want to learn… firsthand… about sex.”

When you finally wrap your head around his question after a good minute, you scowl at him, “Is this some ploy for you to get laid?”

“Don’t slap me!” He leans away when you move your arm, “You said you find sex intimidating and I’m telling you it’s not. You think you have to learn to have sex, well then I’ll—”

“Offer to teach me with your extensive knowledge and skills on it?” You deadpan, pulling your lips taut into a tight line. “What makes you think I'd say yes?”

Jaehyun raises his shoulders, “Most girls would have.”

“Oh.” You say, tasting something bitter in your mouth, “So you’ve offered these kinds of services to other people then?”

“No.” He quickly denies, “Just you. Other times, it’s the other way around and before you say anything smart, no, I don’t always say yes.”

Unconsciously, you hug your bag to your chest. You barely know this boy and he’s here offering to teach you about something you have absolutely know nothing about aside from the reproduction aspect. Are you willing to bare yourself to him? You hear the rumors in the girls’ bathroom; how they say he’s good in bed and going as far as calling him a sex god. What does that make you?

“Okay, wait,” Jaehyun starts, “I’m telling you right now so you have time to think it through. I don’t wanna force you so you can say no if you don’t want to and I’ll think of something else. If I win our little bet, let me teach you about sex.”

You internally scream at yourself for even considering his offer. You made a promise that you’ll only focus on school and won’t date to avoid distractions — but what Jaehyun was offering wasn’t even technically dating. What would your parents think about their breadwinner sleeping around with some guy she doesn’t even love? What if the school finds out? How would the girls pining after him, who are undoubtedly prettier than you, treat you, the school nerd?

“I don’t have to think about,” You held your chin up, “Because I’ll be top 1.”

“How tenacious.” He muses, leaning his cheek on his knuckles..

“I can say the same about you.” You mumbled under your breath, checking your phone for the time. “Well, you’ve successfully derailed me from studying.”

He flashes a victorious grin that both gives you butterflies in your stomach and fist clenching in annoyance. “Do you need a ride home?”

“I don’t need you to know where I live.” You snap, “And if you even try to follow me, I promise to get a restraining order against you.”

Jaehyun pouts at you and you feel them again, the butterflies wreaking havoc in your core. “Fine. But I have one more question.”

“And that is?”

“Have you had your first kiss?”

You sneer at him, a little offended, “Yes.”

“Don’t tell me it’s Jungwoo.”

“And if it was?”

He presses his lips together before sighing, “Let me be more specific with that question. Have you ever kissed anyone, not with just your lips, with your mouth — tongue and all.”

You suck your teeth and gaped at him, clearly looking like a deer caught in the headlights. When you had your first kiss with Jungwoo, it was only because both of you were in high school and have yet to kiss anyone. It also served as the reason that neither of you will ever see each other as anything more than friends.

“I’ll take your silence as a no.” Jaehyun hums, “What would you do if I’d kiss you right now?”

“I’d slap you.” You answer immediately, not batting an eyelash to prove how serious you were.

He inhales sharply, “Okay, uhm, what if I asked?”

“Do you always think with your dick?”

“That’s not a no.”

“And you didn’t deny.”

You bite on your lower lip to stop yourself from smiling, looking away when his face breaks into a wide grin. What were you doing? Get a hold of yourself. But… 

“I’ll admit there are times I’ve thought with my dick. Just your average hormonal teenager.”

“And I’ll admit,” You pause, “that I can’t say I’m not completely opposed to kissing you right now. Just, you know, your average curious teenager.”

He studies your face for a moment, “Yeah?” He starts scooting closer until he’s right where the corner of the table is.

“T-this doesn’t mean I’m agreeing to sleeping with you. I’m still firm with my decision of declining your offer.” You raise your hand in front of him and he takes hold of it.

“Maybe this would sway you.”

He waits for you to lean towards him, still holding your hand. His hand was soft and warm around yours, his thumb gently moving over your knuckles like it was fragile. He looks different, almost a little serious compared to the flirty, playful persona he had a few seconds ago; his eyes looked considerably darker, watching you study his face. His lips are parted, just as pink and full like always.

You nervously glanced at the opening of the little area, worried the librarian or another student would catch you two, although it was unlikely since no one really bothered going to the periodical sections.

“Don’t worry.” He whispers, “It’s just you and me here.”

“You’re not going to tell others, are you?”

With his free hand, he tucks your hair behind your ear. It was cliche and you would have pulled away or slapped his hand off, but all you could feel were the butterflies fluttering in your stomach for the third time in the past hour.

“I won’t. Whatever is going to happen stays here between the periodical section shelves.” His eyes shift down to your lips and you gulp when his tongue darts out between his.

“I… don’t know…” You’re losing your ability to speak, tuning everything out and focusing on him.

“It’s okay just follow my lead.” He guides you to lean forward, inclining your body over the table corner. His face was a few inches away, with his breath ghosting over your philtrum, but he doesn’t kiss you yet, waiting for your go signal.

When you fervently nod, he closes the gap between your faces. Just as you thought, he had soft lips; like the petals inside of a rosebud. Cupping your face, he runs his thumb over your cheekbones while he tilts his head to the side for better access. You gasp at the sensation of his tongue skimming along your bottom lip and he uses this as a chance to slip the muscle into your mouth.

It felt foreign, but also oddly nice. He tastes like bitter coffee and sweet mint combined. Without meaning to, you sucked his tongue and he let out a soft groan. Whenever you overhear someone saying how hot it is for a boy to moan, you never understood them until this moment and you want to hear more of it.

You push yourself closer to him, moving your tongue against his and fighting for dominance. Your head was spinning as if he was some hard liquor and you’re getting drunk off of him. When you feel his hand disappear from your cheek and find its way by your chest, inching towards your back, you panic and pull away.

He looks surprised and a little disappointed, nonetheless he doesn’t say anything and watches you. You’re breathless, face hot and flustered, unable to meet his gaze.

“I…” You swallowed, still tasting him on your tongue, “I need to go.”

“I…” Jaehyun nods, “Yeah, okay. Are you sure you don’t need a ride?”

“Yeah, thanks anyways…” Your hand twitches and it was only then both of you realize you were still holding hands. You retract yours first, using it to grab your bag by the strap and shrugging it over your shoulder. “Uhm, bye.”

“Y-yeah, uh, take care.” Jaehyun stays glued to his seat as you scurry off away from him. He stares back at the hand that held yours, discerning how cold it was now that you were gone. He groans, lurching forward to rest his head on his folded arms as he wills his little problem away. You looked so pure and innocent, cheeks bright pink and glowing, looking absolutely breathless from the kiss.

Meanwhile as you hurriedly walk out of the library, you swipe your tongue over your lips, still tasting the mix of coffee and mint. That was your first real kiss. Jung Jaehyun gave you your first real kiss - no, you had your first makeout session with him. You could still feel your cheeks burning at the thought, but you’re hoping it’s just your annoyance at him because he was right.

You really were considering his offer.

“Why are you so nervous?” Jungwoo grabs hold of your hand and pulls your fingernails away from your teeth. “I’m sure you’re number 1. And if Jaehyun is, then he couldn’t have betted on something bad, right? He doesn’t seem like the type.”

It’s been more than a week since the exams and the… event… at the library. It took you a day or two to go back and Jaehyun, thankfully, didn’t turn up. You didn’t tell a single soul, not even Jungwoo, who you’ve been confiding every dark secret you had to.

You both woke up early to see the results posted on the schoolyard before the other students flocked the bulletin board and it’ll be a battlefield for a chance to read the results up close. 

Walking up the rickety bulletin board, you hold your breath before approaching the list for seniors on the left. You could hear your own heart beat hammering in your chest.

“Hey! I’m 53! Dang, that’s 3 spots from being top 50.” Jungwoo points at his name on the middle section of the board. “Ha! Nakamoto Yuta is 51! I just need to surpass him and these other two for the finals. How about you?”

His face drops when he sees you staring at him, crestfallen. It wasn’t hard to spot your name; there were only two spots possible for you and this time it just had to be below Jung Jaehyun’s. Your mouth feels dry as you respond to him, “I’m second…”

“Oh, [Y/N].” He comforts, pulling you into a hug. “Maybe he’ll ask for something petty?”

“Jungwoo, there’s something I need to tell you. Can we go to your club room?” You look back at the school entrance, seeing a few more students come in. Jaehyun was the few students who already had their license so it should be easy to know if he was arriving or already here.

Jungwoo was part of the board games club. You’ve sat in a few times during their club meetings since they only had a few members and it was always fun playing board games that aren’t monopoly or snakes and ladders. Their club room was one of the extra rooms under the library’s second floor that was only accessible outside, beside the anime club, and was very secluded. 

He digs his fingers inside a flower pot on the window sill and fishes out a key that he dusts off before unlocking the door. You enter first while he puts the key back into the soil of the poor, harassed petunia plant.

“Jaehyun said he wants to teach me about sex.” You blurt out once Jungwoo closes the door behind him. His eyes go wide and he pretends to clean his ears.

“Come again?”

“Remember how I went to the library after midterms? He followed me there and we started talking and he kept asking these questions and — and it somehow ended up with him figuring out that I was virgin and I slapped him and then he said if he wins the bet, he’d want to teach me about sex but if I don’t want to then I can say no and he’ll think of something else.” You inhaled deeply once you let it all out like vomit.

Your best friend stares at you, visibly confused, “Wait, that’s a lot to take in… you slapped him and then he offers to teach you sex? And if you can decline it, then why don’t you just say no?”

“We kissed.”

“You what?!” Jungwoo screeches, “You kissed him and you didn’t tell me?!”

“I’m sorry! It’s just,” You shrug your shoulders before defensively crossing your arms in front of you, “you know me, Woo. I’ve never kissed — made out — with anyone before and…”

“You want more?” He finishes for you and you slump down the nearest chair.

Exasperated, you stared up at him, “Tell me I shouldn’t say yes to his offer.”

“I think you should say yes to his offer.”

You sighed in relief, grateful you had someone like him to help you — wait a minute.

“What?!”

He holds his hands up in front of him as you jumped up from your seat, “I mean, if Jung Jaehyun had offered to teach me sex, then I’d definitely say yes. Is it a friends with benefits type of deal?”

“We’re hardly friends. If I say yes, then we’re fuck buddies.” You sit back down and look at the shelves where they kept the board games. “I need time to think about it. Please help me avoid him.”

“[Y/N]...”

You put your hands to your face, “I swear I’m not running away from it. A deal is a deal. I just need a little more time to think about it.”

Out of habit, you bite on your thumb and space out. You’ll handle this situation like how you handle every decision: weigh out the pros and cons.

Pros: you’ll learn something you’ve been very curious about and your “teacher” is quite skilled according to the female populace, so you’re in good hands. It’s not a merit you want, but you can say you’ve slept with the ever popular heartthrob, Jung Jaehyun.

Cons: you could get pregnant regardless of the use of contraception and you’re prone to sexually transmitted diseases. You could get possibly addicted to it to the point it would distract you from school and ruin your chance to get your scholarship.

Where does falling in love with Jaehyun fall under?

You mentally slap yourself; no one is falling in love in this predicament.

The sound of the door opening pulls you out of your thoughts and your eyes meet with sophomore member of the board games club, Mark Lee.

“Oh! No wonder the door is open. What are you two doing here?” He nods at the two of you and you respond with a smile.

“Just needed a private place to talk.” You explain, catching Jungwoo’s gaze. “And you?”

“Oh,” Mark sheepishly scratches the back of his neck, “I was gonna skip my first class to study for recitation on my second one.”

Jungwoo puts a hand on his shoulder, “Don’t worry we all have days for that — unless you’re [Y/N].”

“Hey! I saw that you were top 2! Congrats!” He claps his hands, but eventually stops when he senses neither of you were in a celebratory mood. “Is… something wrong?”

“I was just really… betting on getting top 1. No big deal.” You wave a hand in front of you, “It’s not like being second affects my academic standing.”

“Well, if you won’t celebrate that, then let’s celebrate my birthday! I’m having a party at my place this weekend. Nothing big, just the club and a few other people.” He rubs his hands together, “You don’t even have to give me a gift. Your presence is a gift—”

Mark’s mouth forms into an ‘o’ and he snaps his fingers, “Your presence is a present!”

Maybe Jungwoo laughed out of pity while the younger nearly pissed himself in a fit of giggles, but your mind is thinking about the bet again. What were you going to tell Jaehyun?

By some miracle, Jaehyun didn’t hunt you down for your answer and you wouldn’t say you avoided him since you two never really crossed paths before. Jungwoo’s mom let you and Jungwoo off for your Saturday shifts for Mark’s party and even though he said not to get him anything, you and Jungwoo still got him something.

It was a casual gathering so you didn’t feel the need to get dressed up, however you do enjoy wearing light dresses since it was summer season, throwing a cardigan over your shoulders when the night air gets too cold on the way home. You might be a nerd, but like any other girl, you liked to put on makeup when you felt like it, but today you simply wore strawberry-flavored lip balm.

The two of you were at Mark’s place a little after six and the birthday boy opens the door with a huge grin as you both greet him.

“You’re both here! Come in!” He ushers, stepping to the side. When Jungwoo hands him your gift, he clicks his tongue, “Ay, I said you didn’t have to.”

“We can serve this, you know.” You quip and Mark cocks his head, eyes growing wide when Jungwoo finally drops the gift into his hands.

“Yo! Is this what I think it is?” He exclaims, ripping the lid of the box off to reveal a watermelon.

You’ve never seen anyone get so excited over watermelon before — but maybe that’s what makes Mark loveable. You open your arms to him for a hug and once he returns the gesture, your eyes go down the hallway and see the one person you didn’t expect to see here.

“Uhm,” You push Mark off a little hastily, “I-is that Jaehyun?”

Mark glances back to see the boy in question helping himself to the drinks on the kitchen island, “Yeah. He was my student facilitator during freshman orientation. Do you wanna meet him?”

You scowled, “Oh, we know each other. I didn’t know you two were friends.”

“He’s cool.” Mark shrugs, “Well, let’s go in! I’ll figure how to slice this up.”

“Let me. We don’t want the birthday boy to lose a finger during his birthday, now do we?” You nervously laugh, taking the large fruit away from him. You shot a nervous glance at Jungwoo and it was all he needed to know that you were finally going to talk to Jaehyun.

While Mark and Jungwoo head into the living room, where everyone was gathered, you walk to the kitchen just as Jaehyun was about to return to where everybody was. He stops in his tracks, clearly surprised to see you.

“[Y/N]?”

Hugging the melon to your stomach, hoping it crushes the butterflies before they go wild, you nod, “Hi.”

He was wearing a plain black shirt and some ripped skinny jeans; something so simple but it looked like he walked right out of a photoshoot.

“I didn’t know you know you were friends with Mark.” 

“I said the same thing about you to him.” You look around the kitchen for the knives.

His eyes drag down your body and you suddenly feel self-conscious, “What are you holding?”

Finally spotting the knife rack, you smile at him, “Mark’s birthday gift.”

Walking over to the counter, you pick a knife and a chopping board before removing the watermelon from the box.

“Ah, that’s a smart gift.” He comments, appearing beside you all of a sudden that you flinch as you look up at him, “I’ve never seen anyone love watermelon so much.”

“It’s cute.” You shrugged, starting to slice the fruit up. “Congrats, by the way.”

“Hm?”

“Congratulations.” You peek up at him, “Congrats on being top 1… and winning the bet. I’m surprised you didn’t hunt me down.”

Jaehyun leans on the counter and watches you make delicate movements with the knife, “I figured you needed more time to think about it.”

“Yeah, I did.” You quietly admit, putting the knife down and starting to look for a plate to serve it in.

“So?”

Licking your lips, you swallowed, “Yes.”

“What’s your answer?” He asks, not understanding you had already given him an answer.

You spin in your heels and cross your arms, a little annoyed, “That was my answer. Yes.”

You curse yourself for melting at the sight of his lips quirking upwards and eventually growing into a huge grin.

“Really?”

“Do you want me to take it back?”

“No!” He puts a hand out, “I just can’t believe you said yes. Well, okay then. When do you want to start?”

You didn’t think this far ahead. “I have work Friday nights, weekend mornings, 6-12 noon, and Saturday graveyard shifts.”

He frowns, “You have work later?”

“No, someone filled in for me since I said I’d have a party to attend to.” You hesitated; should you tell him that you live with Jungwoo and work at his family’s convenience store? “I think they expected me to get drunk, but I don’t really drink.”

“What time do you end on Fridays?”

“10pm.”

Jaehyun purses his lips and you realize it’s a habit he makes when he’s thinking. “Then Mondays through Thursdays, after school. Whichever day you want. Basketball training doesn’t resume until next month.”

“Okay.” You slowly say, “Uhm… where?”

He blinks at you, “We can’t do it at your place? Don’t you dorm alone?”

“No!” You vehemently shake your head, “N-no, I’m… renting a room at… Jungwoo’s.”

“You live with him? Is that even allowed?”

“It’s a gray area. Don’t tell anyone.” You instinctively reach out and hold on his arm, giving it a soft squeeze. “Please don’t tell anyone.”

“I won’t.” He licks his lips, visibly having an internal debate within himself. “I guess we can do it at my place. My dad is abroad at the moment and my mom works late shifts.”

“Alright.”

Jaehyun turns around and finds two plates for the watermelon slices, arranging the fruit for you. “Great. So—”

“Wait.” You grab his wrist, “Can we keep this a secret?”

He twists his hand so he’s holding yours, “Of course. Whatever you want.” He brings your hand up to his lips and kisses it.

“This is just a,” You stare at the hand holding yours, “physical relationship, right? I mean, how long does it take for someone to learn sex.”

“Oh, baby.” He chuckles, low and slow, “You can’t learn a whole new world in a few nights. You keep learning new things every time. I’ll teach you the basics up until you have your sexual awakening.”

“And if I never have my sexual awakening?”

He leans closer, just like in the library, and his breath is just ghosting over your lips. He lets go of your hand to tip your chin upwards to him, “Then we keep trying until you do or you find someone else, but that’s a blow to my ego.”

“The next person I should be sleeping with is my boyfriend.” You inch away from him and he reluctantly pulls back from you while you pick up one of the plates, “If I ever get one.”

Jaehyun mimics you, picking up a plate and following you out of the kitchen, but stops you before you pass through the door frame. “Let’s be friends, alright? I don’t like pretending not to know someone I’ll be getting intimate with. You won’t either; I’d like to see you try to explain the sexual tension.”

“Okay.” You enunciate each syllable. “Friends, then.”

He gives you a swoon-worthy smile and you try to leave before doing so, but he stops you again. “By the way, you look really good tonight.”

You roll your eyes, the gesture making him chuckle, and continue to head into the living room, “You’re not so bad yourself.”

The rest of night plays out like how it always does when you’re at a party; you and Jungwoo are stuck by the hip, the board game club members make petty problems with each other bigger than they really are and settle it through — you guessed it — board games, non-club members were taught new board games, and it wouldn’t be a birthday party without cake — being smashed into Mark’s face.

It was a fun night. You almost forgot that you made an agreement with one of the attendees to teach you about intercourse, but you can’t deny Jaehyun had made things a lot more interesting during the evening. You caught him multiple times watching you, especially during your little victories in board games, and he’d either give you a little smile or boldly wink at you. You’re thankful no one caught you getting flustered over it, but it took you some time to calm your heartbeat.

Today was the day. You’re embarrassed about actually preparing yourself today ever since Jaehyun sent you a text the day after you exchanged numbers at Mark’s party. You woke up an hour earlier to exfoliate your body and wore the best undergarments you owned. You didn’t want to try too hard that it’ll be too obvious since you still had school.

You told Jungwoo’s mom that you’ll be home later to tutor a classmate and she didn’t find anything suspicious; you’re just hoping she’ll relay the message to your mom whenever she calls to check up on you. 

Because you didn’t want anybody in school to know you were going home with Jaehyun, you had him pick you up three blocks away from the school district.

“My mom should probably be gone by now.” Jaehyun checks the watch on his wrist briefly before returning his attention to the road, “Do you wanna eat first?”

“No, I feel like throwing up.” You confessed, holding onto the hem of your school skirt. 

“You know you can back out, right?” He shoots you a sympathetic smile, “I don’t wanna force you to do anything you don’t want to.”

“I know. I’m just nervous.”

“I’m not going to jump you the second we get inside. We’ll take it slowly — as slow as you want and need. We don’t even have to go all the way tonight.”

This makes you smile at him. For someone audacious enough to offer sex, one would assume he’d be a jerk, but he’s truly a sweetheart. It was wrong of you in the first place to think he was the stereotypical mean jock in a high school food chain.

“Oh, shit.” He curses under his breath, slowing the car down to a full stop in front of a simple two-story home.

Seeing that he lived in a house in Seoul was enough to tell you that he comes from a rich family, which you should have guessed already since he mentioned his father working abroad. It made you feel uneasy though, knowing you two are from completely different backgrounds.

“My mom’s still home.” Jaehyun checks his watch again, “It’s past 6, she’s late.”

Following his gaze, you see another car in the garage — another indicator of their wealth. 2 cars? Geez.

“The gates are open. She must have forgotten something?”

He doesn’t say anything, driving past the gate and parking it beside the other car. As you both unclipped your seatbelts, you see a door open in your peripheral vision and make eye contact with a young woman.

She looks a little frazzled, but more surprised to see you in the front seat of her son’s car. Getting out of the car, you bowed at her with a smile.

“Jaehyun, I didn’t know you were having someone over. Hello!” She waves at you.

“Hello.” You meekly reply, “I’m [Y/N].”

“What a beautiful name. Welcome! Had I known you were coming, I’d tidy things up more inside and made more dinner.” She frowns, putting a hand on her cheek, “Jaehyun, if the food isn’t enough you can always cook for her, yes? I don’t like having house guests being hungry.”

“I know, mom, I will. Aren’t you late for work?” He gripes, kicking the floor like a child.

She tuts at him, “I thought I left the oven on so I had to turn back around. Don’t worry about me. What are you two going to do?”

Her eyes are looking straight at yours and you answer in the steadiest voice, “Well, Jaehyun and I are the top two students and our teachers asked us to work together to help create reviewers for the upcoming CSAT.”

Jaehyun’s mom gasps, “Already reviewing for CSAT?”

“Well, it would take some time before we figure out the topics we need to focus on, compile everything, have it approved,” Jaehyun drawls, glancing at you, “Mom, aren’t you running late?”

She wags a finger at him, returning her attention to you. “Top 2, you say? My, then you’ve quite got a brain on you. A beautiful face and a beautiful brain; your parents must be so proud of you.”

“Thank you.” You feel your face grow warm, not used to compliments at all. “But I hope you don’t take offense to this, Mrs. Jung, but I have every intention of beating Jaehyun and claim top 1.”

This makes her laugh, “A feisty one! Well in case you do, my Jaehyunnie has his momma to comfort him.”

“Mom.” Jaehyun strains, pointedly looking at her.

“Remember this: he blushes with his ears.” She winks at you and this makes him physically usher her to her car. She waves at you, “It was nice meeting you, [Y/N]! Come by again soon! Make sure you bring her home, Jaehyun.”

“Okay, Mrs. Jung.” You wave back, stifling your giggle as Jaehyun continues to hassle her into her car, but not before she demands to kiss him on his cheek.

When she was finally coerced into leaving and left you two alone, Jaehyun lets you into the house. 

“I’m sorry about my mom.” He sighs, removing his shoes and handing you spare house slippers.

“It’s fine. I’m not as nervous as I was on the way here.” You wear the slippers he hands you and put your shoes beside his on the mat. You look around and spot some picture frames on the wall, approaching one family photo. “You’re an only child?”

He stands beside you, “Yeah. That explains why my parents and I act like best friends.”

“Aw,” You coo, moving to a baby picture, “Baby Jaehyunnie is so cute.”

“Okay,” He puts a hand on your shoulder and gently pulls you away from the wall, “That’s enough. Let’s go up to my room.”

On the way up to the second floor, you start to tense up; his arm was still around you like he was a personal escort to your deflowering. From the stairs, his room was the second door to the right. 

It was a lot cleaner than you expected, although it had trophies and certificates that proved his achievements growing up. It reminds you of the living room back at home; a shelf full of awards for spelling bees, best in subjects, and honor certificates. You remember the pride and joy in your parents’ eyes every time they put a new one up.

“Are you sure you don’t want anything to drink?” Jaehyun asks, closing the door behind him.

“I’m good.” You walk over to his bed and sit down on the edge, looking everywhere but him. He had a fancy looking computer set-up in the corner of the room by another door that probably leads to his bathroom. “So… what now?”

The space on the bed beside yours dips, “Let’s get you in the mood first. Look at me.” His hand falls on your thigh; most of it still over your skirt but his fingertips touch your skin.

You look down at his hand before meeting his piercing gaze, without meaning to, you lean away from him.

His expression immediately softens, “I’m gonna remind you that you can still back out. I don’t want to force you into doing something you’re not sure about.”

“How do I get into... the mood?” 

“Remember how we kissed in the library?” Jaehyun says, “Let’s do that again. This time, I’m gonna touch your body, alright? There’s no table between us now. You can touch me, too.”

Your mouth goes dry at the memory. Ever since you went back to that area in the library, you can’t help but think about kissing him. It makes your face burn, heart rate pick up, and core clench. “Okay.”

His other hand tips your chin upward to make you face him, “You’re so cute, you know? So innocent like a little kitty.”

He kisses you all of a sudden, just pressing his lips over yours. The fingers on your chin move to tuck your hair back behind your ear just like last time and he whispers, “I haven’t stopped thinking about our kiss. If you only knew how excited I am that I get to kiss you again… kiss you and more.”

And more.

There it is again, the action your body never made before; your vagina clenching at his words. Your breath hitches as he slowly moves forward, capturing your lips once more. Just like before, he tastes like coffee and mint. The kiss is gentle and calm, almost tentative, like he’s giving you a chance to stop him. You bring your hands up to his chest and nape, threading your fingers on his soft, thick hair. And when you feel his tongue glide along your lips, you part your lips for him and everything just clicked.

The kiss grew carnal; desperate for more. His hands have moved to hold your midriff, thumbs just barely caressing the bottom of your breasts. It felt too hot — literally. You wanted to take your clothes off, but you don’t know how to feel about him seeing you naked, which was a dumb thought since you had to be naked to have sex.

“I wanted to kiss you so badly at Mark’s party.” He confesses when he pulls away to catch his breath, panting over your mouth, “If you’d have let me, I would’ve taken you upstairs and fucked you there.”

Fucked. You’ve only ever used the word to curse so hearing it from him as something he’d do to you sounds like it would hurt.

“But I want to take my time with you,” He kisses the corner of your lips, trailing down your jaw until he settles on a spot on your neck that simultaneously tickles yet you crave for more, “I’ll show you a whole new world you’ve been missing out on.”

You slide your arm around him, instinctively pulling him closer to you as he finds a new patch of skin on your neck to kiss. You couldn’t help but moan when you feel his teeth lightly biting your flesh.

“You even sound cute.” He muses, working his lips back up your face. “This is lesson number one: foreplay. It can stretch on for hours, but this helps make penetration a lot easier.”

Damn. Penetration is such an ugly word, but the way he said it made it sound hot. When a hand comes over your breast, your entire body freezes and he stops.

“Is this too fast for you?”

“N-no, I’m just not used to it.” You take a deep breath, “Please keep going.”

Jaehyun smiles, “You’re liking it so far?”

You nod, bashfully bowing your head in embarrassment. Other girls must be throwing themselves at him at this moment.

“Can you learn with your head down?” He playfully scolds, “Keep your eyes on me.”

He kisses you again, slipping his tongue into your mouth as his hand tenderly squeezes your chest. He starts to nudge you to fall back against his bed and he tugs your shirt out from being tucked into your skirt to sneak his under. His fingers leave a hot trail in their wake, burning your skin the most satisfying way, reaching for its previous purchase but hindered by the tightness of your school blouse.

He pulls away once more and you whine, chasing after his lips. With a little chuckle, he grants you a quick peck. “Can I take your clothes off or do you want to do it yourself?”

“I’ll do it.” You start to pop the buttons of your shirt when you hesitated, “Wait, what do you prefer?”

“Don’t think about it; this is about you.”

“No, this is about you teaching me about sex and among the few things I know about sex is that it’s all about making each other feel good. So this is about you, too.”

Jaehyun stares at you, considering your words and smiles to himself, “Alright. We can do it together. Unbutton my shirt for me.”

He reaches for the button beneath the last one you had unbuttoned and continues down the line, licking his lips as more of your skin is exposed. Meanwhile, you shakily began to unbutton his.

Sensing your nervousness, Jaehyun ducks his head back to your neck to kiss it. It makes you sigh, losing your grip on the button you’ve working on and when you try to blindly find it, your fingers find the smooth, hard muscle of his chest instead.

He momentarily pulls away to push your blouse off your shoulders, kissing each one before moving to your collarbones. You feel your face heat up as you completely shrug your shirt off and throw it by your feet. His face is right above your chest, kissing down your sternum and just over the swell of your breast.

He tugs on your skirt’s zipper as he does this, jerking the flimsy material off your hips once you lifted yourself up off the bed to help him. He stands up in front of you, pushing you back until you’re lying down on the bed.

“It feels like an honor to see you like this.” He finishes popping the buttons you failed to remove, shrugging the material off his upper body and leaving you to ogle his body. It’s no surprise he’d have such a good physique from all the sports he does.

“Oh, you have an outie.” You pointed out, biting back a giggle. “That’s cute.”

Jaehyun looks down with a slight pout and covers his belly button, “Is that what you’re really looking at?”

“My baby brother has one and it reminded me of him.” You shake your head, almost forgetting you’re nearly naked in front of him, “Sorry.”

He hooks one finger each on your socks and drags them down your legs until they’re completely off and joining the rest of your uniform on the floor. He climbs onto the bed and hovers over you, watching your reaction as he cups your midriff and raises it up to one of your breasts.

His hand was warm and heavy, gently kneading your breast, and focusing his thumb over your nipple. Straddling your hips, he gives your neglected breast the same treatment with his other hand. You’ve never even touched yourself like this, not even when you lather soap on your body, and it felt so good. 

“Let’s take this off of you, hm?” He reaches between your back and the mattress, unhooking your bra faster than you could have. Once he slips the straps off your arms, you instinctively cover yourself and he chuckles, “Can I see them please?”

It annoyed you that he spoke to you like a child, but you relent and drop your arms to your side, looking away from him.

“Ah, beautiful.” He murmurs, putting his hands back over each of your breasts. Without warning, he bends down and licks your nipple causing you to gasp and grab his shoulders. He doesn’t say anything, continuing to lick and suck one nipple and rub his thumb over the other until they’ve both hardened and pebbled. He switches between them for a while until he pulls back, satisfied after seeing your flustered face. “Did you like that?”

“It felt weird at first,” You admitted, “But I liked it.”

“That’s good.” He kisses your forehead and moves so he was practically lying beside you, “So you like having your boobs played with.”

You don’t know how to respond to that, but you don’t have to because he kisses you again. A little more confident, you tried to slip your tongue into his mouth and you’re met with a happy, surprised hum. He lets you take over this kiss, welcoming your tongue.

“You’re getting good at kissing.” He comments as soon as you two break for breath of air.

“It’s addicting.”

“You’re addicting.” Jaehyun counters, pressing his lips on your jaw. “So sweet.”

His hand soothingly rubs your side; up and down in a lazy manner while locking lips with you again. He then brings his hand between your legs, making you flinch and gasp into his mouth. Instead of asking if it was okay first, he decides to continue his action, moving three fingers over your panties.

You want to shut your legs close, but his thigh is holding one of them down. 

“Do you want me to stop?” He asks when you cover his hand with your own.

“N-no, not really.” You hide your face in the crook of his neck as you press his hand over your clothed mound. “Keep going.”

“Do you like this more than playing with your boobs?”

“I think so.”

Jaehyun stops to slip his hand into your panties and you choke down a moan. “You can be as loud as you want. Let me hear you so I know you feel good.”

His fingers slide along your labia, petting you like a kitten. You’ve never even masturbated before yet here you are having someone else’s fingers touch and please you.

“Ah, there it is.” He chuckles into your ear, making you look up at him, “You’re getting wet.”

“Don’t tell me that!” You scold, shying away from him, but he quickly maneuvers his body so he’s back on top of you.

He starts to push a single finger inside of you, observing the way your mouth drops open at the new sensation. You’re wrapping quite nicely around his finger, sucking the digit in bit by bit the more you clenched your walls. When he starts to move it in and out of you, you whimper, holding him by his shoulders again.

“Does it hurt?”

You shake your head. It didn’t hurt, but it just felt too odd and new for you to like it just yet. 

Jaehyun continues his action a little longer until you start getting used to it, even when he adds another finger. This was your first taste of pure, unadulterated sexual pleasure. It was just as addicting as kissing him and the longer he does it the more your toes curl.

You let out a loud moan, a sound neither of you expected. Fueled by your moan, Jaehyun pumps his fingers into you faster. A hybrid of moan and cry falls from your lips as a surge of pleasure pulsates through your veins. You shut your eyes and hold onto his bulging arm for support, curling your upper body towards him. You could hear the wet squelch as he fingered you.

There was something tightening in the pit of your stomach and you can’t decipher if it was good or not, but when Jaehyun removes his hand from your underwear and the feeling disappears, you want to cry.

“Why’d you stop?” You whine, pulling his hand back.

“I don’t want you to come yet. I don’t think it’s best for you to be too sensitive on your first time.” He kisses your forehead before sitting up to put the two fingers he had in you into his mouth. He moans a little, “Sweet.”

He starts to take your underwear off, rolling it off your hips down to your ankles. He chuckles at your attempt to squeeze your thighs together and hide your pussy from him.

“D-do you have a condom?” You stutter, trying to stall him.

“I do. I always have one.” He nods at the drawer by his bed. “But I wasn’t going to do that yet.”

He massages your thighs, silently coaxing you to open your legs for him. Still covering yourself, you obediently part your legs and he makes himself comfortable between them with his face right by your core.

“This is my favorite kind of foreplay. If you don’t mind, I’d like to show it to you.” He kisses your knuckles, “There’s nothing to be shy about, [Y/N].”

You let him pry your fingers off your, watching his eyes light up once they lay their sights on your pussy as if they had discovered gold. With two fingers, he spreads your labia apart and you hold your breath as he veers forward to latch his mouth onto you. You gasp, bucking your hip upward at the sensation of something wet and warm against such a private part.

You could feel his tongue slithering and teeth teasingly nibbling at your lower lips. Again, it felt so foreign and unusual, but so, so, so good. You moaned out his name and he groaned in response, the vibration adding fire to the burning pleasure he’s building up in you.

Like last time, when you start to feel that knot in your stomach, Jaehyun pulls away and you whimper in frustration.

He stands up to walk over to the drawer, fetching the condom you requested for and returns to the foot of the bed. “Scoot up a little.”

After doing so, you watch as he unzips his pants, letting it fall to the floor with his boxers.

“That’s not gonna fit.” You immediately fold your legs close and sit up. Are penises supposed to be this big? It’s entire length is pink and veiny, while the tip was a bit more red. It bobbed up and down as he clambered onto the bed, pointing at you as if it knew you were its prey. Gulping, you repeat, “That’s not gonna fit. I can’t do this.”

“It will. You’ll stretch around it. Give me your hand.” He kneels in front of you, knees apart.

You give your hand to him and he brings it around his cock. It was a lot warmer than his hand. You wrap your fingers around it a tad tighter and he moans, biting his lip. Meekly, you ask, “Do you like that?”

“Sorta. Here.” He moves your hand over his length, all the way to the tip and back to the base. “I like it better this way.”

“Like this?” You followed what he showed you, twisting your wrist a bit.

“Yes, fuck, like that.” Jaehyun closes his eyes, letting you take over. “Just like that.”

With his eyes closed, you feel a little more comfortable studying his body up close. He has such pretty skin, fair and flawless. His muscles were beautifully defined, rippling with every movement, especially the muscles on his abdomen as they flexed with each sharp breath he takes. Your attention is brought to cock in your hand after feeling it twitch a couple of times. The tip started to glisten under the lights of his room. You watched in amazement as a small, translucent white substance emerges from the tiny opening on the top, something akin to a pearl, and it dribbles down to your fingers.

He had your mouth on your genitals and you liked it. Will he like it if you do the same? 

You bend forward to taste the thick liquid on the tip of his cock. It was incredibly salty and just as hot as his length as you continued to work your fist around him. Wanting to taste more of him, you bring your lips over his tip.

“What the fuck?!” He exclaims, hands flying to your shoulders, and you immediately pull away.

“I’m sorry.” You retract your hand away from his body.

“No! No, you just caught me off guard.” Jaehyun takes hold of your hands and smirks, “I didn’t expect you to blow me.”

You look away, flustered at his expression, “I was curious.”

“It’s okay. God, you’re so cute.” He cups your cheeks and kisses you, “I’ll teach you some other day, okay? I don’t think I’ll last a second if you use your pretty little mouth on me.”

“O-okay.”

“Now watch, this is how you put a condom on.” He takes the foil square and rips it open. He shows you the condom, pushing the center out a bit to pinch the end, and places the rubber ring on the tip of his cock. He rolls it down about a quarter way until he stops and grabs your hand, “Finish putting it on for me.”

Without another word, you obey him, pushing the ring down until his cock is completely sheathed with minor difficulty.

“Lie down.”

Once again, you silently obey him, maintaining eye contact with him. He adjusts your position in front of him by grabbing your hips and parting your legs to kneel between them. He runs his hands over your thighs, “Are you ready?”

“I think so.”

“I need you to be sure.” He leans down to kiss your belly. “I’m not going to continue if you’re not a hundred percent sure.”

“I am.” You nod, “I’m sure.”

He kisses up to your neck, licking the expanse of skin. “This is going to hurt, okay? You just have to relax. The more you tense up, the more it’ll be difficult for both of us, and the more it’ll hurt for you. Just relax.”

“Okay.”

Jaehyun kisses your lips, flicking his tongue into your mouth for a brief moment. He tasted a little different now. Was it from him giving you oral? Were you tasting yourself on him?

“If the pain is too much, just tell me and I’ll stop.” He sits back up, holding his cock in his hand and positioning it right in front of your entrance. He waits for a while, moving a fist over his length as he studies your face. “I’ll ask you once more, [Y/N]. Do you really want to do this? Not because of the bet, but because you really want to?”

“Yes. I do.” You answer in a firm voice. When you give him a little nod, he runs the tip of his cock over your entrance a few times until he pushes into you.

It definitely hurt. It was like you were trying to put something where it didn’t belong. Although it was bearable, your body’s instinct was to stop it.

“Fuck, [Y/N], baby, please relax, you’re squeezing me.” He grips your thighs with a sense of urgency, “Relax, baby.”

You’re breathing heavily, trying to do as he says. You look down between your bodies and you feel your eyes well up with tears when you see he’s barely halfway in. You don’t know how but you try to accommodate his girth. 

When he’s pushed the remaining inches inside you, you choke down a sob. It hurt a lot. You feel stretched out and full; unable to open your eyes as you absorb the pain. But underneath it all, you can’t deny that it felt good in a way.

“Are you okay? Shit,” He starts to pull out and you yelp.

“No! No! Don’t move. Please don’t move. Just,” You hold onto his shoulders, sniffing, “Let me get used to it. You’re… big.”

Jaehyun chuckles, “At least it fits.”

“Barely.” You retort. As you blink, the tears drip from the corner of your eyes. They left a cool trail over your burning face. He kisses each one, lapping the tears up with his tongue.

“Tell me when it’s okay to move, alright? Just don’t… squeeze me too hard or else I’ll come before I get to make you come.” He sees you pout as you move your head to acknowledge him and he can’t help himself but kiss you again.

It helps distract you from the subsiding pain. You try to think of other things as well. Is he always this sweet to the other girls he sleeps with? You hope your first boyfriend would be like him.

A surprised moan escapes you after you try to pull him closer to you and your hips move against his. For a moment, you even forgot he was inside you. He has a wide grin on his face, clearly pleased at hearing this. With a hold on your hips, he slowly pulls out of you and just before the tip is out, he pushes back in. He observes your reaction, slowly gaining speed as your mouth loses its ability to close and is perpetually agape, letting a string of whimpers and mewls escape you.

“Lesson 2 is all about positions, baby.” Jaehyun starts, falling forward and uses one arm to hold himself up above you, “This is the most basic one: missionary. Guy on top.”

You can’t even process his words, mind clouded with lust as your body experiences something it never has before. It felt good… amazing — you couldn’t even explain it.

“How are you feeling, [Y/N]?”

“So,” You gasped, “Good.”

“Yeah?” He moves the hand on your hip up to your chest, giving one of them a hard squeeze. “You feel really good; nice and tight.”

He gives a particularly hard thrust and you gasped, holding onto his shoulders for purchase. “I’m going to go a little faster. Tell me if it’s too much and I’ll slow down.”

Right as he said it, his thrusts grew faster and faster. His movements shook the bed, the headboard bumping into the wall. Your body was burning hot, like he was pumping lava right inside your body, filling you up until you’re melting in his hold. 

“Jaehyun.” You moan, arching your back off the mattress. You don’t even know why you’re calling out to him. You just want to chant his name, so you did.

“God, I wish you could see yourself, baby. You’re taking me so well for your first time. Does it still hurt?”

“No.” You mewl, “I feel really good.”

“You’re so pure, [Y/N]. Fucking precious. Now look at you, enjoying your first time at sex. Think of all the other things I can teach you; things that’ll corrupt your innocent little mind.”

You whimper at his words. He sounds like he’s degrading you but why does it sound so hot? You voluntarily clench around him and earn a guttural moan from him.

“And you’re fucking enjoying it, aren’t you?” Jaehyun brings a hand down between you and massages your clit. “Like a fallen angel.”

There it was again; that tightening feeling in the pit of your stomach. You were afraid he’ll notice like the last two times and he’ll stop, but he doesn’t. His hips start to move frantically, gyrating against yours as he enters you deeper.

“Jaehyun.” You cry, “Wait—”

“It’s okay, baby, just let it go.” He hushes you, “I’m going to give you your very first orgasm.”

The fingers on your clit rubbed faster and you try to stop him, “Oh god—”

You feel like your bladder is full and you explode, convulsing beneath his body as his thrusts slowed to a stop. He kisses you, sloppily on the mouth, drowning out all your moans. You feel lightheaded, head spinning as you catch your breath after he moves his lips to your cheek.

“I—” You wheeze, “Wow.”

Jaehyun laughs, pecking your cheeks repeatedly. “Cute.”

His cock is still inside you, hard and throbbing. He sits up and carefully pulls out of you until his cock is freed and bobbing up to hit his abdomen. The sheer latex is shining with your essence. It hits you late, but you’re not a virgin anymore. You didn’t feel any different — well, you felt like you were on cloud nine — but you didn’t feel like anything changed.

You watch Jaehyun as he takes the condom off, tossing it to the floor and begins to touch himself. “What are you doing?”

“Just finishing myself off. You can rest up a bit and we can have dinner.”

“Can’t I help you? Why didn’t you come in me?” You sit up, although your body feels heavy.

“You can help me just by spreading your legs and giving me a nice view of your pussy.” Jaehyun kisses you, “Besides, you’re sensitive after coming. I wouldn’t want to overstimulate you on your first time.”

“I’m not sensitive.”

He raises a brow at you, pushing you back on the bed and ducking his head between your legs. He blows a soft puff of air on your vagina and you flinch, automatically trapping his head between your thighs as you try to close them.

“See? Be a good girl and listen to your teacher.” He teases, turning his attention back to your core.

“Then…” You lick your lips, “How about teaching me how to give a blowjob now?”

Jaehyun looks stunned, “I’m starting to think you’re not a virgin from the get-go…”

“Hey,” You frowned, “Why would I lie about that? I just like to learn.”

“Then you probably have a nympho asleep in you.” He crawls beside you, sitting against his headboard and motions for you to go between his legs.

Once you situate yourself between his legs, you take his dick into your hand and form a fist around it. He’s a lot wetter now, sticky from all the precum that accumulated. “Would it be a good thing if we wake her up?”

“Maybe.” He pets your head while you find a position you’re comfortable in, settling to lie flat on your stomach with his angry, leaking cock just by your face. “I’d love to see her.”

You kiss the tip, tasting the salty substance on your lips. You look up at him as you hesitantly licked him, collecting more of the precum on your tongue. He nods, chewing at his bottom lip. Glancing down at his cock, you lick a strip from the base of his length up until the tip. You do it a few more times until you wrap your lips around the head and gently suck.

“Fuck.” He grips your hair, the action stinging your scalp, “Don’t focus on the tip just yet. Try to take my entire cock in your mouth.”

“The entire thing?” You repeat, “Are you aware how thick this is?”

“Then take as much as you can. I’ve never been deepthroated before.” He sounds a little proud as he tells you this. He adjusts his grip on your hair, combing most of it to hold it back like a ponytail.

“Deepthroat? You mean shoving this thing all the way into the back of my throat? That sounds like torture.”

“I’m not telling you to do it. I’m just saying I’ve never had anyone put my entire cock into their mouth without gagging so badly.” He shrugs, “This is what you do: put as much as you can in your pretty little mouth and hold onto the rest, squeeze me a little, maybe twist your hand a bit. Just don’t bite me.”

You follow his instructions, getting probably a little more than a half of his length into your mouth.

“Now suck.” When he feels your lips wrapping snuggly around him, he pulls your head away from his cock and pushes you back down. “Again.”

You treated him like a salty push-pop, bobbing your head as you continue to suck him. His grip loosens on your hair once you get the hang of it and don’t need his guidance. Although you still look up at him through your lashes to make sure you’re doing okay and from the way his dick twitches in your mouth, he definitely likes it.

Curiosity and greed gets the better of you; is deepthroating him that big of a challenge? You push yourself down on him until your lips are at the base. Both your mouth and throat are squeezing down on him as you still attempt to suck his cock.

“Oh my god.” Jaehyun groans, throwing his head back and re-tightening his grip on your hair. “Fuck, [Y/N].”

You like how he moans your name and you want to hear more of it. Flattening your tongue on the underside of his dick, you dragged your mouth up just before releasing the tip and plunged his length back to your throat.

There was a frustrated grunt from him as he holds your head in place and starts to thrust into your mouth. It was a lot harder to control your gag reflex like this, but you stayed put and let him do as he pleases; it’s getting you excited, too. Tears spring to your eyes as you start to choke, losing your breathing pattern for a moment when his movement became sporadic.

“Oh, fuck.” He stills, plugging your entire mouth with his cock and making it a little hard to breathe. Warmth drips down your throat and once his grip loosens, you pull away. His cock is still twitching, still shooting out the thick liquid in your mouth.

And quite frankly, you hate it.

Out of courtesy, you wait until he’s done, falling slack against his headboard. As he catches his breath, he gives you a sleazy smile, reaching out to you but you bolt away from him.

“[Y/N]?” He worriedly calls out after you as you run into his ensuite bathroom.

Hurriedly, you switch the lights on and knelt down in front of the toilet to spit his load. You’ve never tasted something that foul in your life. It was like you tried to swallow salty battery acid — and you don’t even know what battery acid tastes like.

You feel fingers in your hair as Jaehyun helps you hold your hair back when you end up gagging yourself and emptying the contents of your stomach.

“I don’t want to do that again.” You wheeze, wiping the back of your hand over your mouth before flushing the toilet.

“That’s too bad, but for the record, I didn’t tell you to deepthroat me.” He helps you up and gestures you to the sink.

“I didn’t mean the deepthroating part,” You open the faucet and begin to wash out your mouth of the acidity left over, “I meant swallowing. Do other girls swallow your cum and not complain?”

He looks slightly offended, “Most do, some don’t…”

You pat your lips dry with tissue paper and throw it in the bin, “Then they’re either lying about wanting to swallow or your cum burned their taste buds off.”

Jaehyun huffs, “It can’t be that bad.”

“Then see for yourself.” You’re about to step forward when you feel something drip down between your thighs. The same translucent substance is dribbling down your length and you quickly clean it off with tissue paper.

“Are you hurting though?”

You glance back and you become hyper-aware that you’re still both very naked, and despite being intimate with each other just a few minutes ago, you become shy around him.

He’s quick to take notice of your sudden change in demeanor, trapping your body against the sink. He kisses your shoulder, “We just had sex, what are you getting shy for?”

“I don’t know.” You look at him through the reflection. Is this what it feels like having a boyfriend? You avoid his gaze just before he meets it through the mirror; you shouldn’t have those thoughts while you’re with him.

“Well, that’s our lesson for today. Unless you want to review.” He chuckles, cupping your boobs and kneading them with his palms.

You tear his hands away and laugh, “It’s a school night.”

“Oh, so if it wasn’t, you’d be down to go another round?”

You shrug your shoulders, “I thought you would have already figured out that I like to review things I’ve learned. Repeatedly. Even though I’ve understood the lesson already.”

“Fuck, [Y/N], don’t say things like that. I’ll get hard again.” He tuts, pinching your ass.

You yelp, giggling as you dodge another pinch from him. 

“Let’s get dressed and let me feed you before I take you home.” Jaehyun hums with a small smile, cupping your cheeks and kissing your lips.

Your heart flutters; a different kind of warmth floods your senses. It feels like all the holidays you get to go back to your family, greeting your siblings with bear hugs, and scarfing down all the meals your mother made from scratch. You move away from him, blinking your eyes and looking mortified at your realization.

Jaehyun mirrors your expression, pupils shaking as awkward silence surrounds you.

“Uhm,” He clears his throat, “I…”

“Can I,” You say at the same time with him, “use the bathroom?”

“Yeah, sure, I’ll— I’ll, uh, go down to the kitchen and dinner— prep dinner — prepare dinner.” He leaves you in the bathroom and closes the door for you.

You immediately wash your face to cool it down. What the hell was that? It couldn’t be what you thought it was. It should be the last thing on your mind after having sex with him. Falling in love with Jaehyun is out of the question; you want a storybook kind of romance — meet him in a bookstore type of situation. Not making a bet in the library that involves losing your virginity.

You switch the tap off and go out to put your clothes on. You stare at the mattress, the one you just lost your innocence on, and somehow remember Jaehyun’s face after the last kiss. It looks like he didn’t want to be in that kind of relationship with you either. You’re just another girl that he sleeps with and he’s just someone teaching you the ropes of it all. That’s all there is here.

“Wanna take a break?”

You gasp out loud, dragging the tip of the neon green highlighter upwards onto words that didn’t need it. You stare at the jagged line in shock before sending a piercing glare to the reason behind it.

Jaehyun sheepishly apologizes, sitting down on the chair to yours.

“Why aren’t you studying for CSAT?” You cap your highlighter and close your review material.

It’s been a couple months now and Jaehyun still had plenty of things to teach you in terms of sex, but ever since his basketball training started, your meetings turned into something just a twice or thrice a month rather than the usual once every week. 

He’d taught you a handful of positions — that you all liked — and learned how to have sex in different places like under the bleachers and at the back of his car. Like in the very secluded corner of the library you two were in right now. He had you bent over the table once and from the looks of it, he wanted to do it a second time.

“I’m done for the day. You should take a break, too, you know.” He moves your materials away from you, “You’re top 2 in school. You don’t need to study that hard for CSAT.”

“Is there something else you want me to study?” Flirting with him got a lot easier, although you still get flustered from time to time, you’re still able to hold a flirty banter with him.

He taps your nose, “Smart girl. What are all the lessons I’ve taught you so far?”

“Foreplay. Positions. Masturbation,” You whisper; the library was full today since everyone was reviewing for the test this weekend. A few weeks back, he gave you “homework” to masturbate while thinking about him but with barely any privacy in your place and feeling awkward to even touch yourself, you failed the very first homework of your entire life. He made you sit between his legs and watch porn, guiding your hands in your panties. Shrugging, you finish answering, “And places. Is there still something you have yet to teach me?”

“Kinks.” Jaehyun slowly drags the tip of his tongue along his bottom lip, staring at your lips.

“Like… fetishes?” You glance at the opening of your secluded area, “You have fetishes?”

“A good number of them.” He hums, “But forget about me. We’re going to see if you have any kinks.”

“Well,” You feel embarrassed to say this out loud, but you’ve actually researched these things already. You wanted to surprise Jaehyun with something, but you never knew when to since he’s always in command of how things go, “I’ve read a couple of things.”

He grins at you, “Oh? Advance reading?”

You roll your eyes, “Shut up.”

“Okay, okay, sorry. So?”

“Your hands.”

“My hands?” He lifts one up in front of his face, “What about them?”

You get distracted just by seeing them, “Uhm, I like it when you touch me with them.”

There’s a growing smirk on his lips, “Touch you where?”

“Anywhere.” You watch as he holds his hand out to you and cup your cheek, “Everywhere.”

“Everywhere?” He repeats, moving his hand down to your neck and wraps it around your throat. “Even here?”

You gasp, your own hands flying to grab his wrist, “Jaehyun.”

“I’m not going to actually hurt you. Choking can be hot; it can increase pleasure during sex.” His gaze flickers down to where he held you, “It brings out this innocent little look on your face that I love.”

You scoff, “I’ve learned that you have a corruption kink.”

“And you’re to blame. God, it’s been months of fucking you but you’re still so innocent.” Jaehyun brings his hand down to your thigh, “Like a tainted angel.”

“I’m hardly an angel now.”

“Oh? Then spread your legs right now.”

You blink at him, “Now? But—”

“See? You’re hesitating.”

“I’m not doing this with you here, not when there are clearly more people in the library compared to the last time.”

He frowns, almost pouting, crossing his arms in front of him like a child put on timeout. He glances around and swiftly moves his chair beside yours. 

You warily watch him, confused at his actions until he brings his hand back to your thigh. “What are you doing?”

“No one’s gonna see and if you keep quiet, they’ll never know.” He inches his fingers under your skirt, close to touching your mound but you stop him.

You can’t deny that doing something risky like this in public — in school — gets you excited, although at the end of the day, you had to keep your dignity. You’re glad he’s kept his mouth shut about this arrangement as well, but it was rather odd that his friends don’t wonder where he goes off to when he goes to you.

“You’re already so wet, baby.” His fingers drew lines over your panties that were undeniably wet the moment he came up. It was a natural reaction for your body to want him just by looking at him at this point, craving to be touched like you are now.

Baby. He calls you this so fondly. Of course, it was only during times like these when he does so, but it makes your insides gooey and your heart flutter.

You exhaled slowly, eyes wide and staring at him. He merely smirks, thinking it was from his fingers slipping past your panties. This was the worst possible scenario; being fingered in public while you were reviewing for the CSAT — the test you cared about passing the most — by a boy out of your league and realizing you’re falling for him.

You’ve done so well for the past months to foster such feelings for him. Why now? Why now while you’re in the middle of messing around with him? While you were studying for the single most important test of your entire student life?

He flexes a finger inside of you and you flinch, grabbing his arm and biting down your lip.

“You like that, huh?” He teases, kissing your ear.

It’s not the only thing I like, you scream in your thoughts.

It doesn’t take long for you to come, shaking in his hold as he softly sucks on a patch of skin under your ear. He even fixes your panties for you before pulling his hand away and licking his fingers clean of your essence.

He notices how you’re still distraught, blown out eyes staring up at him and heaving slowly, and asks if you’re okay.

You manage to nod at him, waving his concern off and adjust yourself in your seat.

Jaehyun stands up and puts the chair back in its proper position, “I’ll go now. Good luck this weekend.”

“You, too.” You mutter, watching him leave and your heart drops. You’re not stupid. You know he’s only using you for sex and it wasn’t something you minded because you were benefiting from it too. He doesn’t see being in an actual romantic relationship with you, and you can’t blame him for it. You’ve made it very clear that school is your priority.

The only thing left to do is either tell him about your feelings and face the consequences, bottle it up and will them away, or end things with him and maybe these emotions will leave with him. After CSAT, you promise yourself, you’ll make a decision after this weekend. 

“Am I in trouble?” You quietly ask, looking between the principal, Mr. Jang, and the guidance counselor, Ms. Kwon.

Ms. Kwon had run after you as you finished your CSAT, on your way to the front gate to meet up with Jungwoo, and she escorted you to the principal’s office. She’d been of tremendous help for you when you applied for scholarships. Your first thought was someone had caught you and Jaehyun somewhere in school and reported it, but didn’t think that was the case since he wasn’t in the office with you.

“Heavens, no. I would like to personally tell you and congratulate you about your scholarship in SNU.” Mr. Jang reminds you of a typical, jolly grandfather, had silver, combed-over hair, and wore suspenders everyday.

“S-scholarship?” You repeat, thinking you misheard him, “I-I thought… scholarship announcements aren’t made until the end of the school year.”

He grins at you, handing a large white envelope with the university insignia on it, “Yes, but they saw your outstanding school records and gave you approval right away. Congratulations, Ms. [L/N], your application for a full scholarship to SNU has been approved. You’re the first student in my 30 years working here to get one.”

Your mouth is perpetually agape, accepting the envelope and opening it right away. Your eyes scanned through the letter inside a couple times until it finally hit you: you’re going to SNU. “I… but…?”

“Of course, they still have to wait for the results of the CSAT, but it should be no problem for you, given your previous records. And between us three,” He leans forward on his desk, “You should start drafting your graduation speech.”

“My… graduation speech?” You pause, “You mean I’m valedictorian?”

“If you maintain your class standing and stay out of any trouble until finals, then congratulations again Ms. [L/N], you’re this year’s class valedictorian.”

“But… Jung Jaehyun—”

Mr. Jang sighs, “Ah, yes, Mr. Jung. His grades are remarkable, yes, but he has a couple of misdemeanors on his file to even qualify for salutatorian. It’s a shame. Are you friends with Mr. Jung?”

You open your mouth to answer, but you realize you don’t know what the answer is. You’re not exactly going to tell the school principal the exact premise of your relationship. But are you two even friends? “Uhm, we know of each other?”

“Hm, well I would avoid befriending Mr. Jung if I were you, Ms. [L/N]. I’m sure he’s a wonderful person, but he could still be a bad influence on you.”

Your stomach drops as you consider Mr. Jang’s words, nodding to them even though you were still processing it. Was he being a bad influence on you? 

As you leave the principal’s office, it finally hits you: you’re going to SNU. You’re going to your dream school with a full scholarship and there’s a high chance you’ll graduate as valedictorian. The slow, steady footsteps you took since stepping out of the office broke into a sprint as you ran towards the school gate to meet Jungwoo and tell him the good news. 

As you turn around the corner that led to the lockers, you almost collide into Jaehyun, who was just as surprised to see someone hurtling towards him.

“[Y/N]? Why are you crying?” He closes his locker and steps closer to you, concern etched on his face.

“Crying?” You touch your cheeks, feeling the damp streaks and laughing at it, “Oh. I didn’t know I was crying.”

“What’s wrong?”

You shake your head, “Nothing’s wrong. I’m— I’m just— Jaehyun, my application for a full scholarship to SNU has been accepted. I just need to score high on CSAT—”

“Then you’re definitely in! [Y/N]! Congrats!” He opens his arms to you and by instinct, you just jump into them and let him engulf you into a giant hug. “That’s amazing! You did it, [Y/N].”

“Thank you.” Your voice was muffled from having your face pressed up into his chest. You pull away first, “I can’t believe it.”

He offers you a small smile, “You’ve worked so hard for it. You deserve it. I’m really happy for you.”

A phone chimes just as you were about to thank him once more. You check yours and find an impatient, yet worried text from Jungwoo, who you had completely forgotten about. “I, uh, need to go.”

“Hey, wait.” Jaehyun stops you just as you were about to side step him, “We should celebrate this. There’s a party at Cha Eunwoo’s house tonight. You should come.”

“It’s a Saturday. I have work tonight, remember?”

He looks disappointed, “You’re going to work after taking the most draining exam in our lives?”

You shrug, apologetically, “I need the money. Big crowds aren’t my thing either.”

“Then how about just the two of us? Tomorrow night. I’ll drive you somewhere out of town and we’ll get drive thru.”

Your heart races in excitement at the prospect, but you catch yourself. That sounds like a date although you knew it would end up with the two of you doing it at the back of his car. Nonetheless, you agree to the arrangement and wave at him before leaving.

“But Auntie,” You stand up to take the dishes from her, but she swats your hands away, “I don’t mind working tonight.”

“[Y/N]! You and Jungwoo can have the weekend off! You two have worked so hard. And to think you got the scholarship for SNU!” She tuts, sashaying to the sink, “If I could afford it, you can have the entire week off with paid leave!”

“She’s our valedictorian, too!” Jungwoo pipes up, doing a little shimmy after taking a bite of the cake his parents got the both of you for finishing the exam.

“All the more reason for you not to work.” She pinches your cheek. “Isn’t there a party or two being thrown by your schoolmates? There’s bound to be one, right? There were about 8 during my time. You two should go to one.”

Jungwoo brings his empty plate to the sink and exclaims, “Oh, yeah! Eunwoo invited me to his party. Do you wanna go?”

You stare at him, “Cha Eunwoo? You know him?”

“We were classmates last year. We’re not close, but he’s really nice and friendly.” He claps his hands, “Oh, let’s go, [Y/N]!”

A part of you only agreed because you wanted to see Jaehyun. It would be hard to interact with him since your real relationship with him was still a secret, but you still wanted to see how he’d react to see you there. Perhaps that’s the reason behind the extra effort of getting ready; putting on that same dress you wore to Mark’s party, patting the lightest blush on your cheeks and a soft red tint on the inner parts of your lips, and spritzing perfume on your hair. 

“Wow, all this for Jaehyun?” Jungwoo teased, simply changing out of his house clothes into a pair of blue jeans and a raglan shirt. 

“Shut up.” You snap, “Wait, is it too much?”

“No.” He shrugs, “I just noticed because I’m not used to it. I bet he’ll appreciate it though. Are you ready?”

After another look in the mirror, you let Jungwoo lead the way to Eunwoo’s house. It was only a short bus ride there and it was the richer side of town, a few streets away from Jaehyun’s. You’ve never met him and you’re pretty sure you’ve never interacted with him either. You just know that he’s one of Jaehyun’s close friends, also part of the basketball team, and just as popular with the girls from school.

It takes no less than half an hour for the two of you to arrive, spotting the other teens walking up to the huge house that had strobe lights and muffled music blasting inside.

“I can tell I’m not gonna like it inside.” You warily watch a rowdy group of boys cheer each other on as a ssireum contest begins in the empty, open garage. “We don’t have to stay long, right?”

“Let’s have a few drinks and leave.” Jungwoo walks up to the house and you follow closely behind him.

Not all the faces were even familiar to you, maybe they’re from other schools. The music gets progressively louder as you walk up to the open door and you can pick out a few voices trying to talk over the bass. Past the door, Jungwoo greets a few people and you offer them all a small smile. They all seem surprised to see you here, obviously knowing this isn’t your kind of scene. Jungwoo holds a conversation with them and you look around some more.

There were people drinking out of red cups, bouncing on the balls of their feet to the fast tempo song, some were brave enough to make out against walls, and others were just blatantly humping each other in lieu of dancing. You make eye contact with a girl who you recognize as Kim Minkyung, twin sister of Kim Mingyu, who was also another close friend of Jaehyun’s. She was notoriously aloof and introverted compared to her social butterfly of a brother. 

Minkyung stares at you, eyes just squinting slightly as if to discern if it was really you she was seeing, and you feel both confused and nervous by it. Is it really that weird that you’re at a party? You break eye contact with her to tell Jungwoo you’re heading to the kitchen to grab drinks for the two of you.

It was a big house, bigger than Jaehyun’s, but you think you can guess where the kitchen was from the number of people leaving the room with a drink in hand. You managed to catch Minkyung’s gaze again and her expression this time looked… worried? You ignore it and step into the white room. There were food and drinks lined up on the kitchen island and counters, a large stack of red cups beside a keg. As you approached it to get beer for Jungwoo, a roar of laughter erupts in the next room over. Being naturally curious, you walked over to the opening and peered through other curious people’s shoulders to see what the commotion was about.

It looked like the dining room with a large wooden table in the middle that had been turned into a beer pong arena. You see Kim Mingyu taking a shot beside the house owner, Cha Eunwoo, over to the other side and huffs as he misses his shot. Looking over at their opponent, your chest constricts. It was the soccer team’s MVP, Nakamoto Yuta, who was also your acquaintance as he liked to crash the board games club from time to time to bother Mark, and his partner for the math, the only boy you wanted to see in this party.

Jaehyun had his signature black outfit on; you’ve spied the contents of his closet once and reeled at the sight of it being 80 percent black, 15 percent white, and just a handful of miscellaneous colored clothing articles. His hair was pushed back to prevent the fringes getting into his eyes. But that’s not what you’re focused on, that’s not what made your heart crack. With one hand, he held a ping pong ball, waiting for his turn, while the other held another girl’s hand.

Areum. You think that’s her name. That’s right, Cho Areum. She’s the embodiment of her name; beautiful and stunning from head to toe. Funnily enough, she’s part of the cheer squad. Classic, you think, a cheerleader and a basketball player. A cliche, but perfect pair.

It’s finally Jaehyun’s turn and he gets the ping pong ball right into the farthest cup, and his team rejoices. He gladly turns his head to Areum and your heart falls to the floor, shattering in tiny pieces as your ears ring. You’ve never felt jealous in your entire life, you just weren’t raised that way. You’ve lived your life with people who have so much more than you, but you never wished you were in their shoes until you see Areum. She’s pretty, she’s tall, she’s also top 20, meaning she’s smart, too. She also gets to kiss Jaehyun in public, while you’re just the girl he keeps a secret.

But now you’re just confused. Was he cheating on her with you? And if he was, why would he cheat on her for you? 

Your thoughts are interrupted when a hand is placed on your shoulder and you turn to find Minkyung, looking distastefully at the same scene you were witnessing.

“You shouldn’t be here.” She finally turns to you, voice soft and almost sympathetic. “They’re going to make fun of you if they see you, especially with your eyes looking wet. Come on.”

You blink and you realize what she was talking about as your vision blurred. You nod and she leads you away from the party, out to the backyard where there were less people and considerably darker. You sit by each other on a lounge chair and stare at the pool.

“I don’t…” You pause, not knowing what to ask.

“My brother and his friends aren’t nice people.” Minkyung states, looking past the pool and into the window that showed the living room. “They spend a lot of time after school at our house so I know about the things they talk about… all the shit they do.”

“Okay…” You don’t know where she’s going with this but your gut tells you it’s not going to be good.

“At the start of the year, the basketball team was at our house and they were drinking. And I don’t know how it came to be but someone suggested to make a checklist for all the girls they should fuck. From every clique like a girl's sports team to distinguished individuals… like the class valedictorian.” She glances at you, apologetically, as if it was her fault or to apologize on her brother’s behalf. “But I guess yours was a different case.”

“I’m… wait, I don’t understand—”

“Everyone agreed that it would be hard to sleep with you. No one knew you well enough until someone pointed out that you and Jaehyun were always volleying the top 1 spot between each other every semester. But even he didn’t think he could do it, so his friends did the only thing that would make him agree to trying to sleep with you. They made a bet and riled him up because everyone knows how competitive Jung Jaehyun is.”

You let her words sink in, “So he made a bet with me to be top 1 and offer to teach me sex so he could win an entirely different bet.”

“Wait a minute—” Minkyung grabs your wrist, “He said he’d teach you sex? Oh my god, that’s just fucking gold.”

She bolts up to her feet and scornfully laughs, pacing in front of you.

“What?”

“Let me guess,” She spins back to face you, “He’ll teach you lesson by lesson because you can’t learn a whole new world in a couple nights? That lesson 1 is foreplay, 2 is positions, and so on?”

“H-how did you know that?”

“Because he said the same things to me 3 years ago. Jung Jaehyun took my virginity from under the guise that he liked me, too. And guess what? When shit went down, he turned my own brother against me. He turned the person I shared a womb with against me and branded me a slut. Don’t you ever wonder why I don’t run in the same circle as my twin? Mingyu used to be so protective of me; I was off limits to his friends until Jaehyun happened. He joins his friends branding me a slut. Jung Jaehyun ruined my life and he’s going to ruin yours.” Minkyung grabs your shoulders and squeezes them, “Walk away from him now, [Y/N]. Please, I know we’re not friends but I’m telling you the truth. You saw him with your own eyes; was it you he was kissing in there? Because here’s the cold, hard truth, [Y/N]: Jaehyun owns each and everyone of us, but we can never own him for ourselves.”

You expel a harsh breath, unaware you had been holding your breath. You stare into her eyes and it’s glistening under the underwater pool lights. You wanted to give Jaehyun the benefit of the doubt, but you could sense how genuine and concerned Minkyung is.

“Okay.” You mumble, licking your lips. You’re better off without him anyways. Aside from sex, what else has he given you? You stand up and accept the hug Minkyung offers as she holds out her arms for you. “Thanks.”

“I wish I warned you sooner. I’ve tried to warn every girl he was after — or any girl the team was going after — but my reputation makes it hard for them to believe me. If anything, they made it worse.” She pulls away and looks back into the house. “Thanks for believing me.”

You follow her gaze and see Jaehyun, jumping to the beat of the song playing, with Areum in tow. “Does she know he’s cheating on her?”

“Areum? They’re not exclusive, that’s what he claims. She says they’re in an open relationship, so she probably knows about you.”

Knowing that she, as well as his friends, knows about you and Jaehyun sleeping together doesn’t sit well with you. Does he tell them about it every time? They must laugh at how innocent and pathetic you were.

“God,” Minkyung scowls, “What did I even see in him? If he wasn’t at the top of the class, I would have believed he had a dick for a brain.”

You giggle at this, knowing she’s doing her best to lighten the mood.

“I’m surprised he hasn’t gotten anyone pregnant yet.” She laughs, “I wonder how he’d react to that.”

Your laughter falters.

Minkyung watches as you scramble to take your phone out, opening up an app you kept to track your period. You had a normal cycle, this tracker is proof. But the past month has been so hectic that you didn’t even notice.

“I’m… two weeks late.” You look to her for help, fingers shaking in panic. “I’m never late. I—”

“Wait, [Y/N], calm down. Being late for your period doesn’t mean you’re pregnant.”

“I know that!” You exclaim, “But what if I am?”

You think about your scholarship, graduation, your parents — how are you going to tell your parents if you were, in fact, pregnant?

Before you bring yourself into a panic attack, Minkyung shakes your arm, “[Y/N], calm down. Do you want to take a pregnancy test?”

“I can’t take that back home—”

“Then take it back at my place. I’ll buy you the pregnancy test.” She fishes car keys out of her pockets, “Come on. Mingyu can find a ride home himself, I don’t even know why I let him drag me to be his personal driver.”

“Why are you so nice to me?”

Minkyung doesn’t answer immediately until she shrugs her shoulders, “If I were in your position, I’d wish someone would be there who understands and helps out.”

She was right. You don’t even know how Jungwoo would react, let alone do.

“Wait, let me go back inside and tell Jungwoo I’ll be going.”

“Kim Jungwoo? He’s gay, right?”

You gasp, petrified at her question, “How did you— I mean, no!”

She chuckles, “Don’t worry. I understand. It takes one to know one. I’ll go get the car. It’s a red volvo.”

As she leaves, you head back inside to look for Jungwoo and it’s not that hard thanks to his height. You flag him down, grabbing his wrist and dragging so you could talk right into his ear. 

“Can I go ahead? I’m not comfortable.”

“Okay, let me say goodbye—”

“No! You’re clearly having fun. It’s not that late, I can go home by myself.” You try to walk away, but he seizes your hand.

“Are you okay? You look like you’re about to cry.”

Bless his heart. Only Jungwoo could read you like a book. But you’re not ready to tell him, not until you’re sure, so you just smile and nod. Fortunately, he lets you go and you quickly make your way through the crowd to reach the front door. Just as you were about to step out, a hand wraps around your wrist and you think it’s Jungwoo.

But of course it wasn’t.

“Hey, you came.” Jaehyun lets go of you once you turn around. “I thought you had a shift?”

“Yeah. I’m heading back over now. I thought I’d drop by with Jungwoo.” You hug yourself, doing your best to meet his eyes so he wouldn’t suspect anything. In your peripheral vision, you see his friends watching from another room. “So, I have to go.”

“Did you try and find me?”

The wording to his question was off, but you shake your head, “The crowd is a little… overwhelming. I don’t think I could have seen you even if I tried… I’m gonna be late for shift change.”

“Do you want me to drive you there? My car’s at the house though—”

“Then no.” You forced a smile, “You don’t have to. I’ll be fine.”

Jaehyun frowns, but relents, stuffing his hands in his pockets, “Okay. Tomorrow then?”

“Tomorrow?”

“Our own little celebration about your scholarship?”

“Oh… yeah, sure.” You try to think of an excuse to back out of it, but you’re too flustered under his gaze to even do so. “S-see you then.”

He cracks a smile, and maybe it’s just your feelings for him, but you swear he seems genuinely excited about it, “Okay. I’ll text you.”

You turn around and start to walk, taking slow steps out the door until you see a red volvo pull up. Minkyung rolls down the window to let you know it was her and you get in. After putting the seatbelt on, she hands you a pack of tissues.

“You can cry. I’m not going to judge you.”

“I know.” You let the initial tears slip down your cheeks. “I should have known something like this was going to happen.”

She rubs your back for a while before starting the car and driving away. It was strange to think you barely talked to her for an hour but still felt closer to her than Jaehyun, who you’ve spent months with. Did she have a pregnancy scare as well? More importantly, did she have someone to confide to?

You finally let yourself break down into a sob. It was dumb and foolish of you to think he had the best intentions for you. You were both in it for the sex and all you asked was for it to be kept secret, but the worst people to find out about it already knew about it. It was stupid of you to even fall for him — no, it was more stupid of you to make a bet with him in the first place. You can’t even believe you walked into that party with the intention of confessing your feelings for him.

“He’s still coming by the store. You should have never told him where you worked.”

You sigh, lathering the washed cabbage heads with the bright red paste your mother had already made. It was the holidays and you went back home to your family like you always did. Being with them brought you so much relief after everything that had happened after CSAT. You excitedly told them about the scholarship, presenting the letter as proof, as well as the high chance of you graduating as valedictorian. You even introduced Minkyung to them through video call as you two had become considerably close. The only thing you left out to your parents was Jaehyun. They didn’t need to know that at all.

You thanked every god and your lucky stars that you weren’t pregnant — the missed weeks probably due to the stress — and the dreaded red week came a few days when you went back home.You had burst into tears of joy at the sight of blood stained sheets and your mother excused it as your hormones acting up.

As for Jaehyun, you didn’t reply back to him when he asked if you were ready to meet up the day after the party. You didn’t pick up his calls. You worked twice as hard, enlisting Jungwoo and Minkyung’s help, to avoid running into him at school. Minkyung had to block his number for you because you didn’t have the heart to do it. You felt bad for doing this to him, but they reminded you of everything he did to you and you just feel just a tiny bit of guilt for ghosting him.

But as Jungwoo had just reported over the group call you had with him and Minkyung, he came by the convenience store almost everyday, hoping to catch you on your shift. When Jungwoo finally snapped and told him you were back at home, he comes in every other day to ask where you lived.

“I would ban him from the store if I were you.” Minkyung suggests.

“You know I would’ve if I could.” Jungwoo gripes, “But you can’t ban people if they’re just annoying you. I can’t even say it’s borderline harassment since he leaves after I shoo him off.”

“I don’t get it.” You huff, stuffing the freshly made kimchi into a large jar. “Min, you said he’d stop after a week. It’s almost the end of Christmas break and he’s still trying to contact me.”

“I’m just as confused as you. Maybe his pride is hurt. He’s the one being dumped for the first time and you know what? Good for you, [Y/N], for being the first to break his heart.”

You smile at them through the camera, but you hope it was believable enough through the screen. You’re still in love with him. You realize this after finding yourself constantly thinking and worrying about him when you’re not occupied with house chores or farm work. You’ll never tell Jungwoo or Minkyung, but a part of you really misses him.

“Oh my god, he’s here at my house.” Minkyung whispers as if he could hear her as she peeks through her blinds. “I’m gonna eavesdrop on them.”

“Kyung.” You warn, wiping your hands on a kitchen towel after you washed them. “You don’t have to.”

“I want to.” She huffs, “What if he’s trash talking you? You’re my friend now and this is my house, I have every right to throw him out.”

“If he’s trash talking me, then I’m gonna want to talk to him. You know,” You put the jars of kimchi you made into the fridge, “For closure.”

“Oh, sweetheart.” Minkyung sighs, “That’s a dangerous plan.”

“I agree.” Jungwoo pipes in, “He was able to convince you to sleep with him. He can definitely do it again. You’re in a vulnerable state, [Y/N], whether he knows that or not. You don’t have any prior knowledge on this while he’s an expert.”

“It’s breaking off a relationship — not even, it was just a deal we made.” You look outside the window to make sure your family is still outside, “How hard could it be?”

“Says the girl who let someone teach her sex after losing a bet.” Minkyung snides, “Your emotions could get the better of you once you face him. I think it’s better to avoid him until he finally accepts the fact that you’re done with him.”

And she was right. Although you really did want to talk to him, at least one last time and face to face, they were right about him possibly coercing you again. You didn’t think you would fall for him this hard even though you know about what he’s done.

Returning to the city a week before the holiday break ends always puts you into a sad mood since you have to leave your family and now it makes you feel anxious because you can’t possibly hide from Jaehyun until graduation. Minkyung tells you that he and his friends will be out of town for a few days and she invites you over to hang out. Jungwoo couldn’t come because he and his parents visited his older sister’s family.

“As promised,” You said after greeting Minkyung as she opened the front gate, “Kimchi made by yours truly using my mom’s pepper paste made from our farm’s chili peppers.”

It was a sizable container, good for a family of 5 for two weeks at most. Minkyung squeals as she accepts it, “Thank you! I’m so excited to try it out. We’re definitely eating this for dinner later.”

Her house had almost the same layout as Mark’s house, but had a more contemporary interior.

“Oh my god,” You gasp, approaching the photo wall and pointing at a portrait of two children as you unwrapped the scarf from your neck, “You’re so cute!”

“Our mother was obsessed with making us match clothes before.” She sighs, stopping beside you.

“Wow, you two looked really identical.”

Minkyung scoffs, “Yeah, thank god we don’t anymore.”

Before she turns to lead you to the kitchen, you swear you caught a frown form on her face.

You two had a baking agenda today ever since you found out she loved to bake with her mother when she was younger but never got to do it again since her mother got busy with work. She still bakes from time to time but doesn’t find it as fun when someone else is around.

The kitchen island had all the ingredients laid out and the oven had preheated. You two only talked about making cookies and cupcakes, but it looked like there were enough to make cake and bread.

Minkyung puts the kimchi inside their fridge and you wait for her in front of the ingredients, “So how do we go about this?”

“Let’s do a headstart on cupcakes first so they can cool down before we get to decorate them.”

It feels like a nice change to be hanging out with another girl. You love Jungwoo, but there are things you can’t say or do with him because it felt too awkward. Also, compared to you, he has other friends he likes to hang out with while you can count all yours with one hand. Minkyung was a lot bubblier once you got to know her. She always kept to herself in school and seemed so chic and mysterious, but was just as eccentric and clumsy as Jungwoo. It was a weird way to start a friendship, sharing the same experiences with Jaehyun, but you’re really glad you’ve become friends with her.

A couple of hours into baking, you took charge of icing the last couple of cupcakes while Minkyung tries a bite of the experimental cookies you made with cinnamon and marshmallows.

“Is it good?” You place the cupcake you finished icing on the cake rack.

She walks over to you to feed you a piece, “Like a starbucks drink. It’s not bad, no?”

It did taste like a starbucks drink made into a cookie, but you liked it. “I think it’s okay. Nothing beats your chocolate chip, though. I can’t wait to go back home and make it for my siblings. Thanks for sharing your recipe. I promise to take it to my grave.”

“Tell me what they think of it.” Both of you pause when you hear the car gates creaking open. She looks at you, clearly confused, “Did my mom come home early?”

You put the piping bag down and went to wash your hands in the sink of stray icing as she bounds towards the foyer. Minkyung talks fondly of her mom and mentions how she wanted to meet you. You dry your hands on the apron before taking it off, placing on the counter and following after her.

Just as you walk out of the kitchen doorway, you hear Minkyung exclaiming, “Why are you here?”

It was a split second realization from the hostile tone of her voice that tells you who was at the front door, however your body reacts a split second too late and you end up stepping into the hallway that led to the foyer.

“[Y/N]?”

You’re frozen in your spot, absolutely mortified to see Jaehyun standing behind Mingyu.

“What are you…?” He steps forward and pauses, connecting the dots in his head. He turns to Minkyung and grabs her arm, “What did you tell her?”

“The truth about you.” She hisses, shaking his hold off. Once she does, she moves away from him and closer to you. “You ruined my life and I’m not going to let you ruin hers.”

“Don’t be so dramatic, sis.” Mingyu puts an arm out between them.

Jaehyun moves around him to walk towards you, but Minkyung blocks him. He scowls at her, “[Y/N], whatever she told you is a lie.”

The Jaehyun in front of you scared you; he looked so angry and hurt… like that time he got benched in sophomore year. His jaw is tight and his nostrils are flaring as he and Minkyung stared each other down.

“No, it’s the truth.” She glances back at you, gaze firm and unwavering.

“Kyung, give it up.” Her brother grabs her hand, “It’s been, what? 2? 3 years? Get over it.”

Minkyung indignantly huffs, slowly turning her head back to them, “Get over it? He took everything from me and you just want me to get over it? He took everything from me.”

Her voice cracks as she begins to sob, shoulders dropping as she faces her brother. “And you let him, Mingyu… You chose him over me, your goddamn twin sister.”

Your heartbreaks at the scene in front of you. Minkyung always made snide remarks about her brother, scowling as she speaks about him, but that frown you caught earlier should have told you that she misses him. You can’t imagine the pain she feels of losing someone she spent her whole life with — her own brother — and be torn apart because of something Jaehyun had said and done.

Minkyung sniffs, snatching her hand away from Mingyu and walks to you, “I’m sorry. We were having so much fun… but I want to be alone right now. I’ll drive you home—”

“No, go ahead. I…” Your eyes flit towards Jaehyun, “I want to talk to him.”

She stares at you, briefly sending a glare over to him, “Are you sure?”

You nod, “I can’t run away from forever. I’ll be fine.”

She gives you a tight hug before heading towards the stairs. Mingyu tries to stop her but she starts to run up the steps.

“I’m gonna talk to her.” Mingyu pats Jaehyun’s arm, spares a glance at you, and goes up after his sister.

You and Jaehyun stood in the foyer, awkwardly waiting for each other to say something.

“Can we talk?” He finally breaks the silence.

“Yeah.” A door being pounded on and shouting was heard above your heads and you smack your lips, “Uhm, somewhere else?”

“Yeah, okay,” He takes his car keys out of his pocket, “I know a place.”

Sensing your hesitation, he quickly follows it up with, “Don’t worry, it’s not my house.”

You decide to trust him, gathering your things and following him out the door to his car. It felt weird to be seated back inside and even weirder to think about the times you’ve spent together in it. He plugs his phone to the aux cord and chooses a random song to play on the softest volume before he begins to drive.

“I thought you guys had an out of town trip?” You quietly ask, seeing the duffel bag on the backseat.

“Yeah.” He clicks his tongue, “We were uninvited. The villa we were going to is owned by Areum’s family and you can say I chose the wrong day to upset her.”

“What did you do?”

Jaehyun sighs, keeping his attention on the road, “You know, when you didn’t respond to my texts, I got worried about you. I thought you got in trouble or something. You wouldn’t pick up my calls, Jungwoo wouldn’t tell me where the fuck you were, and up until I realized you blocked my number, I started to understand the situation.”

You turn your attention to the window, watching the world pass by.

“You saw us, didn’t you? Me and Areum. You saw us that night at the party? Is that why you stopped talking to me?”

“It’s so much more than that.” You cut in, making sure your voice is as steady as you can make it out to be, “Besides, it’s not my business. I’m just the girl you keep a secret—”

You let out a disbelieved laugh, “Wait, I can’t even say I’m the girl you’ve been secretly fucking.”

“What are you talking about?”

Taking a deep breath, you ask him, “Is it true that you and your friends made a — a fuck checklist and I was on it?”

The car was stopped at a red light, it was the only time for him to look at you but he chooses not to.

“Did you agree to a bet with your friends that you could sleep with me? And that was what prompted you to approach me in the library in the first place?”

He finally looks at you, stunned like a deer caught in the headlights, and it was enough to break your heart all over again. He opens his mouth to respond, but the car behind you honks its horn and Jaehyun starts to drive, not noticing the green light.

“All I wanted was for us to be a secret. I wouldn’t care about Areum or any other girl… or so I thought,” You grumble the last part, “I thought you were holding up that end of the deal, but it turns out people already knew. God, Jaehyun! For someone who’s top 2 in school, I’m so fucking stupid to believe you.”

He stops the car and lets out a heavy breath, “I’m sorry.”

“You think that’s enough?” You snap, facing forward and seeing a lakeside picnic area. “Where are we?”

“My parents and I went here during spring when I was younger. I like to come here and just watch the water.” He licks his lips, “I was supposed to take you here that day after the party.”

“Why?”

“I…” He shrugs, “I’m gonna sit outside for awhile. You can join me if you want.”

“It’s nearly 3 degrees outside.”

He opens the door and the cold rush of air makes you hug yourself. He steps out and closes the door behind him, walking up to one of the picnic tables to brush off some of the snow and sit down on it, looking off into the distance of the frozen lake.

You gather up the courage to face the biting, icy air,  pulling the hood of your jacket up and going after him. You take a seat on the bench of the table beside his and hide half your face into your scarf. His face was ghastly white, save for the apples of his cheeks, tip of his nose and ears, and his lips that were bright red.

“Do you have plans to freeze to death?”

Jaehyun chuckles, “I like winter.”

“I prefer spring.” You mumble, crossing your arms to preserve your body warmth. Looking back at the lake, you comment, “Must have been a nice view if I had gone with you that day.”

“I personally think it’s a nice view all year round.”

Silence falls over the two of you, along with it was the awkwardness and tension. You feel like you couldn’t breathe despite being in an open area.

“It’s true.” He breaks the silence after a few minutes, “We were all drunk and I don’t even remember who suggested it, but everyone thought it was a great idea — a fuck list. From cheerleaders, to band geeks, to bisexuals… to the valedictorian… one of us will sleep with any of those and it’ll be checked off the list.”

This makes your stomach churn; disgusted and disappointed at the thought. Being drunk isn’t an excuse for the nasty things that go through someone’s head.

“No one was willing to do you. No one had connections to you. Until Eunwoo said we were always switching places as top 1 every semester. They said it would be like an ice breaker between us and they left me to think about how I could get in your pants.” He took in a deep breath, “But believe me, I didn’t want to. I didn’t even think you’d give me the time of day. You didn’t seem interested in anyone and your nose was always stuck between textbooks. So they riled me up and I let them push me into doing it.”

“And then you orchestrated this whole plan of baiting me into making a different bet with you where you try to sleep with me and disguised it as teaching me sex.” You click your tongue, “I was a much easier target than you thought, huh?”

“It was supposed to be a one time thing, but I meant what I said that you can’t just learn sex in one night.”

“Minkyung said you told her the exact same words 3 years ago.” Your heart grows heavy at the thought of her, “Did you even really like her back?”

Jaehyun closes his eyes, hanging his head low and slowly shaking it sideways. “No.”

“How could you turn twins against each other?” You scowl, “I can’t even fathom how you were able to do that!”

“Well, I don’t either! I care about Mingyu, too. I knew he’d kill me if I even dared touch Minkyung, but she practically offered herself up to me.”

“Choose your words carefully, Jung.” You warn, gritting your teeth, “That doesn’t mean you accept it, let alone use that fact against her. She was— was ostracized! By her own brother!”

“That’s on him! I know what I did was shitty and I owe her an apology. I’m not the same boy I was 3 years ago!” He shoots up from his seat and walks closer to the lake, “My high school life is full of regrets, okay? I have vices. I let my dick decide for me. I’m a fucking teenager. I know I’ve hurt people and they probably won’t forgive me so I don’t bother with apologizing to their faces, but I regret my actions, alright?”

“So you regret sleeping with me?”

Jaehyun looks back at you, staring into your eyes with an unreadable expression. After a moment, he inhales, “I regret sleeping with you under those circumstances.”

You frown, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I liked being with you. Aside from the sex or the pillow talk — the small conversations in my car or at the library… I looked forward to those the most.”

“Then why did we always have sex?”

“Because that’s what you were looking forward to.”

“Because that’s the reason why we were meeting up in the first place!” You exclaim, “If you wanted to talk, you could have just told me. We can be actual friends, you know.”

“But what if,” Jaehyun nervously licks his lips, blinking rapidly as the wind picks up a bit, “What if I wanted to be more?”

Your ears are ringing as if they popped. Did you hear him right? He wanted to be more than friends? “But… Areum…”

He immediately denies it, “We’re not even dating. I mean, we act like we are, but all we’re doing is using each other. We have sex and she uses me as a status symbol or something — we got uninvited to her villa because I told her last night that I didn’t want to share a room with her. I didn’t want to do anything with her anymore, to be exact.”

“Why?”

“What do you mean why? I like you!”

You gaped at him like he had grown a second head, “You like me? Jaehyun, you could literally have anyone — anyone — in the whole world!”

“Then why can’t I have you?”

“But…” You shake your head, “Why me?”

Now it was Jaehyun’s turn to look at you bewilderedly, “Why not you?”

“God! You know I hate it when you answer my questions with a question!” You stand up and march towards him, “Why would you choose me over Areum or Minkyung—”

“Stop bringing other people into this,” He interjects, “This is about you and me.”

“You’re better off with them. Or anybody else.” You look down at your feet to avoid his gaze, “I don’t have time to be in a committed relationship. Not when high school is almost done and college is around the corner.”

“I had a feeling you’d say that.” His lips form a forlorn smile, “I wanted to tell you earlier. I wanted to tell you that day we were supposed to come here.”

“You wanted to tell me that day?” You repeat, waiting for him to confirm, “You wanted to tell me that you like me that day when just the night before you were partying with another girl… kissing her and holding her hand… you want me to believe that you like me the entire time you were doing those things with her?”

Jaehyun starts to look flustered, “I-I told you. Areum and I aren’t dating. It’s all for show—”

“Could’ve fooled me.” You say in a higher pitch than your regular voice. “Do you hear yourself? You wanted to tell another girl you liked her after you were with someone else the night prior?”

“[Y/N], just listen to me first—”

“No. You listen to me.” You demand, “I was on cloud nine that day, Jaehyun. My scholarship application for my dream university was accepted, I was told I was graduating as valedictorian... just all the hard work I’ve dedicated my entire school life was paying off. I didn’t mean for you to be the first one to know, but I wanted to celebrate it with you, too — so, so badly, Jaehyun.”

Your sight starts to blur as you pause to take a breath, “I didn’t mean to go to that party, but I wanted to see you again. I spent extra time to fix myself up for you because you always called me nice things when I was naked and I wanted to hear you say those things when I’m clothed. I hate crowds — I hate them so much because I feel so out of place, but I ignored them all. I just wanted to see you. And I did. And I saw her.”

Your throat burns as you do your best to choke down your tears. He watches you, unmoving and unsure, so you continue speaking.

“And— and I-I’ve never… I’ve never felt that, you know? Just pure pain in my chest. I’ve never been jealous of anyone until I saw her. My head hurt with so many questions and if Minkyung hadn’t brought me out, I would have passed out. When she told me her story, my heart ached even more. I couldn’t believe you were capable of doing that to anyone but our stories matched up, word for word, Jaehyun. It made sense and up until on the way here, I would have given you the benefit of the doubt, but you didn’t even deny it.” Unable to hold back, you start to sob, “I wanted to tell you I loved you that night, Jaehyun.”

Saying those words out loud brought both relief and horror to your system; it felt nice to have something you kept to yourself for so long to finally see the light of day, but the last person you wanted to hear them was the person those words were for.

He’s visibly astonished by your confession; eyes wide and misty, and mouth agape, letting you see the soft wisps of his warm breath react to the cold air.

“H-how long have you been…”

You angrily shrug your shoulders, “I don’t know. I had inklings of it every time you were sweet to me, but I ignored them. But I knew I was when I saw you with Areum… because why else would my heart break for someone who isn’t mine.”

“I can be yours.” Jaehyun takes a step forward but you put your hand up to stop him, “It’s not too late, [Y/N].”

“I had a pregnancy scare, Jaehyun.” You softly admit, “I realized I was late, ironically, at the party and Minkyung took me back to her place so I can take a pregnancy test. It came out negative, but until I finally got my period days after I went back home to my parents, I was so fucking scared, Jaehyun.”

“Fuck.” He curses, “Shit, I’m sorry, [Y/N]. I… I should have told you the condom broke.”

Your ears were ringing again. It was as if the entire world decided to stop and the silence was deafening.

“You knew the condom broke and you didn’t tell me…?”

“I panicked, too! It’s the first time it happened—”

“Well, fuck, Jaehyun! Congratulations, you know what to do next time it does!” You start to breathe heavily, remembering the anxiety you felt a few weeks ago. “Do you know how hard it is to look my parents in the eye and tell them everything is fine when in the back of your mind you don’t know if you’re pregnant or not? And if I was, how the fuck am I going to explain our relationship to them? I’m the breadwinner of the family. I had one goal: succeed in school to get a good job in the city. Getting pregnant in high school? That is the easiest way to ruin everything both me and my parents have worked hard for.”

He swallows hard, “Would you have kept… the baby?”

You answer in a broken voice as another sob escapes you, “Yes.”

“I wouldn’t have let you go through that alone, [Y/N].” Jaehyun holds your hands, both frosty from being exposed to the winter weather, “I’m going to take responsibility. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, [Y/N]. I should have told you the moment I found out. I’m sorry you had to go through that alone.”

Your palms started to feel warm now that he held them tightly. This was the first contact you had with him in weeks. You would have thought you would crave more, but you don’t. You liked his hands, you told him this, you liked it that he touched you with them, but now they just felt like any other set of hands.

“You’re as clueless at love as me… just like how I was with sex a few months ago.” You try to crack a smile and force out a chuckle, but you end up streaming new tears down your cheeks. “And it’s easy to say that we can learn this together.”

His eyes light up, hopeful with your words. Only to grow wet as you struggle to say the next words.

“But I can’t.” You choke out, “I can’t be the one to learn this with you.”

You retract your hands from him, slipping them out of his hold, and curling them into fist to keep the warmth in.

“[Y/N].” His voice quivered, looking down at his empty hands, “What do I have to say or do for you to stay?”

It was odd and painful to see him cry; he exuded such a strong image and power with charisma that can be seen and felt for miles. Yet here he was, crumbling in front of you.

“Nothing.” You bit down your lip to keep it from trembling, “It was a mistake to even make that bet with you… but I don’t regret it.”

Jaehyun sniffs, cheeks and nose even redder now. You bravely put a hand on his cheek, wiping his tears with your thumb.

“A part of me will always be with you. It’s a part I’ll never get back and I don’t mind. Even though it was brief, I don’t regret falling in love with you.” You step closer to him, placing your other hand on his chest. He puts his hand over yours on his chest and the other on your waist. You look into each other’s eyes, studying each other for the last time before you push yourself up and kiss him.

It was bittersweet knowing this was the last kiss. Maybe that’s why both of you made the most of it, clinging onto each other like you were each other’s lifeline. There was no fighting for dominance, just moving your mouths against each other in complete sync. You exert every last drop of your emotions for him with this kiss until both of you pull away.

You start crying again, burying your face into his chest. His arms go around you, holding you tight as he starts to quietly sob as well.

“I wish I realized I liked you from the start…” He whispers, “If I had, I wouldn’t be saying I love you as a goodbye.”

His shoulders shake a little harder after he says those words and you hug him tighter. You stand in the freezing air, holding each other in silence until both of you notice the specks of white falling around you.

From an outsider’s point of view, seeing the two of you standing under the snowfall could probably paint a picture perfect scene of winter romance.

“I’m sorry.” You say, “You shouldn’t have brought me here. You had fond memories here.”

Jaehyun follows your gaze to the stretch of ice, the surface scratched up from ice skates. There’s no use in telling you that he still went here that day and witnessed a man go down on his knees in front of a woman. It had him thinking, but even then he knew it was ridiculous.

“And I still do.” He sniffs, returning his gaze to yours. “I’ll come back to this place and remember the times my family had picnics, or the times my dad and I went fishing, or skating, or skipping stones. Other than those, I’ll come back and remember this as the place I was able to tell the very first girl that I love her.”

Your chest constricts once more, but this time it doesn’t hurt. “You can come back here and remember that she loves you too.”

He smiles, although it doesn’t quite reach his eyes, or even bring out his dimples, “Even if she was the one that got away… I love her, nonetheless.”

You had always imagined breaking up would leave you broken beyond repair, sobbing in a crumpled up state on the ground — but then again, this wasn’t a break up. You two were ending things; a toxic relationship that neither of you acknowledged until it was too late. You still want to cry, you’re still hurting, but a part of you tells you it’s going to be okay.

The wind blows again and you gasp, shivering as the icy air seeped through your clothes.

Jaehyun chuckles, “Come on. Let’s get you home.”

You eagerly trek back to his car with him, putting your hands up to the heater once he turns it on. You think you heard him call you cute under his breath, but you don’t let it linger in your thoughts. You wait for him to play a song, but he never does. As he was about to reverse his car out of the parking lot, he pauses to look at you one last time.

He doesn’t say anything, so you don’t either. After a few seconds, he starts to drive and you watch the lake disappear from the side mirror.

 » hope you liked it ヽ(✿ﾟ▽ﾟ)ノ let me know your thoughts through here

[hockeyforthefirsttime]

Vince Dunn- Try Again Chapter 1

AN: here it is, chapter one to try again:) i hope people like it and that its not awful :I 

word count: 2100 ( i think) 

tw: i can’t think of any, but let me know 

Other parts can be found here: Prequel

- Where do you want to meet?

Vince thinks it’s a pretty neutral text to send, even if he is pacing the kitchen floor after his gym session. He knows she just arrived in St. Louis and just finished unpacking while he was out, because she sent a text.

- Uhm.. the Starbucks near you? 

The screen of his phone lights up with a pling, and a second message ticks in before he has the chance to respond. 

- But I do warn you, you’re gonna have to come buy some books with me..

And that second, right that second, is when his brain starts spinning with a plan.

- Okay, I’ll be at Starbucks in like 15 minutes. 

All she responds with is a thumbs up, and that’s okay by him. Quickly he runs into his room, and pulls out a t- shirt and a hoodie. Pulling them over his head, he makes sure that he has his wallet and phone, as well as keys. 

It feels like a good day for walking, even if his legs feel like jello. He can’t decide if it’s from nerves of seeing her for the first time in two years or the gym session. Regardless, the sun is out and he likes the fresh, crisp air. It always tends to calm him down. 

He enters the Starbucks and is struck by her all at once, even if her back is facing him. She has changed since the last time he saw her. She still wears hoodies, and he is pretty sure the vans on her feet are the same she had on when she walked out on him. But she has changed, she seems stronger both in posture and mind. The tiny slouch isn’t there anymore.

She walks over to the waiting area to get her drink made, and he can’t help but admire her. She has done something to her hair and it looks nice. And her smile, god it reaches her eyes, even if her mouth is covered by her mask. It always was a contagious smile. 

When her name is called up from behind the serving station, he notes that she is carrying two to go cups. 

“Hey Y/N, how are you?”

Vince calls out from behind his own mask. She looks around for the source of the voice and when she finds him, she reaches out one of the cups. He gratefully takes it. 

“Hi Vince, I’m good, how are you?” 

She asks as he pops the lid off of his cup. And it’s like she poured the coffee right down his throat and into his heart, because it’s the same one he always orders. He can’t believe she still remembers. She just smiles at him. 

That’s the moment he decides to go for a careful hug, and he is grateful when she accepts it. When she has her head in his chest, he whispers. 

“I’m good, I missed you though.”

And as the words leave his mouth, he feels her hand tighten around the fabric in his hoodie. His heart aches for her. For home. She has changed perfume, this one is not as heavy, but her hair still smells like apples. 

She pulls away, and he follows suit. 

“So, you wanna go book shopping? Or do you just wanna sit here?” 

Y/N asks carefully, yet gallantly avoiding his admittance. 

“Oh I could go for some books!” 

He answers eagerly, and she shakes her head knowingly.

“You sure? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you read much more than a game plan.” 

She chirps him lightly. 

“Oh, just because I read people better than I read books, doesn’t mean I don’t read.” 

He chirps back, as they head out the door, which Vince holds open for her. Y/N, too makes a few mental notes of how he has changed as well.

“So what kind of books are we looking for today, miss brainiac?” 

He asks, trying to make conversation. 

“Oh, just some academic stuff. Boring stuff.” 

She shrugs, however she sounds a bit bitter saying the “boring” part. He can’t help but think that someone must have made her that reluctant to tell him, and maybe that person was his past self. 

“You really don’t have to come.. you know that right?”

“I’m more than happy to come with you, makes me get off my ass.”

Vince smiles at her, bumping her lightly with his elbow. Y/N just smiles and shakes her head at him. She knows very well that he wishes it wouldn’t be too long. 

What she doesn’t know is how grateful he is that she is willing to have him as a part of her life again. Even if it is a small part, he appreciates it.

They have been walking around Barnes and Noble for almost an hour, and even if his arms are just a little achy from carrying all the books she needs, he volunteered to carry them. Y/N is just picking up the last book before she comes back to him. He has been standing near the register and has admittedly been a little bored, so he started looking into the books in his arms. While they have some big words and translations that read a little heavily, he can’t help being a little fascinated with them. And the admiration for his ex grows, just a tad bit more than he cares to admit to. 

“Okay, it’s just this one, and then I’m picking up a used one.” 

She smiles at him, a genuine smile that reaches her eyes. And even if her bangs are a little all over the place, from her pulling her hand through it, she looks adorable. 

“Good, you were taking forever.” 

He jokes lightly, with a wink before getting in the line. They aren’t the only ones out here for university shopping, he can tell by the prices that are being rung up. He can remember spending that much on something, but fuck, it’s still a lot. 

“Next, please.”

The girl behind the counter can’t be much older than them, she is pretty, with dark hazel eyes and a red flannel that contrasts beautifully with her dark hair. 

“Hi, it’s these please.” 

Y/N gestures to the books in Vince's arms, which he drops onto the counter, before he reaches behind himself and stretches his arms, discreetly taking out his wallet. 

“Philosophy, are you taking Mrs. Hargroves' classes?” 

The girl behind the counter asks, and before he knows it, the two girls are launching into conversation. Turns out both of them are going for the same degree. And while Vince isn’t jealous of the girl, he would love to carry those kinds of conversations with Y/N.

As soon as she is done scanning all the books, Vince is the one closest to the debit machine. Y/N doesn’t notice at once, but when she hears him scan his card and punch in the pin code to his card, she turns and looks at him. 

“Vince.. outside please.” 

She picks up the bag from the checkout girl, with a clenched jaw. 

“Goodbye Jamie, see you in class then?” 

The girl, Jamie, looks at Y/N with a sympathetic gaze as she nods and calls for the next customer. 

Vince and Y/N walk out the door together, and he can hear her brain twisting and turning inside her pretty head. He has a gnawing feeling in his stomach about what she is thinking of. 

They reach her car, a Toyota Rav4 as far as he can see, and get in after she has put her books in the trunk. He waits in the passenger seat, taking a look at the inside of the car. It’s a stick shift, and he lowkey finds it kind of hot, he isn’t gonna lie. He can’t find anything else noticeable about the car though, it seems like just another car. With a reusable water bottle in the cupholder, and a book and a backpack in the backseats. Before he can distract himself with something else, she gets into the driver's seat.  

“Vince, why did you pay for my books.” 

And he wishes he could answer at once, with a good convincing argument, but he can’t. So he just stays silent for a few seconds. 

“Vince.” 

She doesn’t sound angry, she just wants an answer. So he settles for honesty. 

“Because you deserve it. Because I wanted to.” 

She frowns, cause that is the reasoning he used when they dated as well. 

“And why did you want to?” 

He wasn’t ready for that question. Two years ago she would have told him how much she could provide for herself, how she didn’t need him like that. Now he knew that. 

“I wanted to say sorry okay? For the way I treated you, for the way things ended. For everything.”

He reckons that she has to process it all, cause she twists the key in the ignition, takes off the handbrake and shifts the car into first gear. She hasn’t changed that much, she still drives to think. 

“You don’t have to say sorry for everything you know. And we were two people in the relationship.” 

Vince knows, god he knows, cause the relationship wasn’t always bad, there is a reason he misses her. He watches the roads in silence for a while, until she stops in front of an apartment complex.

“This is where you live?” 

He asks as she kills the engine. 

“No, I’m just gonna pick up a used book from this guy.” 

Y/N answers abesentminly. She pulls eighty bucks from her wallet and exits the car. He slumps back in his seat, and subsequently jumps a bit when Y/N knocks on his window. 

“You coming or what? I’m not gonna go up to some strange man’s apartment alone.” 

And the little smile on his lips, the fact that he trusts him, makes his heart swell. He almost hopes that they’ll pretend to be dating, but neither does she take his hand nor does she hold him close in any sense of the word. He pulls a hand through his hair as she walks before him up the stairs and he can’t help himself from looking at her ass.  

They reach the correct door, and she rings the bell. Him leaning against the railing, just observing. The man that opens the door is stunning. Dark eyes and dark skin, and a warm smile. 

“Hey, You must be Y/N?” 

And Vince gets his back off the railing, sauntering just two steps closer, not because he is scared, Vince is jealous goddamn it. Cause the only times Y/N plays with her hair is when she is stressed or flirting. She is definitely not stressed right now. 

“Yeah, you got the book still? Carter” 

“Of course, just gimme a sec and I’ll go get it.” 

He smiles with a wink, a goddamn wink. While he eyes Vince carefully. Once he is out of earshot, Vince lets out a sigh. 

“You good?” 

Y/N asks carefully, turning around. But before he can form an intelligent reply Carter is back. 

“Here you go, there are some notes in the margin, I hope you don’t mind.” 

Carter says sheepishly. 

“What is a book without notes?” 

Y/N says as she hands him the eighty bucks. 

“Exactly!” 

But before they can carry their conversation any further, Vince casually looks at his wristwatch. Carter seems to get the hint though. 

“Well, you should probably get going, it’s getting late. Catch you on campus?” 

“Yeah, probably. I hope so, thanks for the book.”

And he knows she is smiling, ‘cause Carters smile widens.  

In the car the silence is deafening, so Y/N puts on the radio some pop station and doesn’t care much more. It’s silent all the way back to Vince’s apartment. She stops the car and lowers the volume on the radio. 

“You okay Vince?” 

He doesn’t have to look at her to know she is looking at him. Her gaze is burning into his cheek. 

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

He answers, trying to sound okay. 

“Cause you have been clenching your jaw the entire way hom, here.” 

He catches the way she catches herself, and for once, he thinks, for once think of her before yourself. 

“Oh yeah, just a headache.” 

And he knows, god he knows she doesn’t believe him. 

“Okay, try not clenching your jaw and drink some water when you get up okay?”

He just nods. 

“Thanks for meeting me by the way. I really appreciate it.” 

Y/N says, and he bites his tongue, especially when she puts a hand on his shoulder.  

“Me too. Talk to you later?”

“Definitely.”

[lilhawkeye3]

Find Your Way Back Home, Ch 5

Riyo Chuchi x Commander Wolffe, Riyo Chuchi x Commander Fox

Rating: T |||| Word Count: 2.1k |||| Set Post Order 66

AO3 Link

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Riyo’s heart was in her throat as she slipped out of Wolffe’s room that morning, hair slightly disheveled from her pillow’s thickly woven fabric. She hadn’t meant to sleep in so late, but tried to crush her lingering guilt by reminding herself that she hadn’t slept that well in months now.

She came to an abrupt stop when she spotted Rex standing in the kitchen, staring out the window at the fields of javun with a steaming cup of tea in his hands. He looked back over his shoulder at her with a soft smile.

“How is he?” Nothing could get by the captain, especially in such small quarters with two of the people he held dear to him.

Riyo offered a tired smile. “Healing. Able to hold a conversation, and be sarcastic,” she added as an afterthought, feeling pleased when Rex chuckled. “I think he’ll be alright.”

The blond’s smile turned bittersweet. “As alright as the rest of us,” he sighed.

Her shoulders drooped. “I suppose so.”

He grimaced apologetically and turned away, back to the window and the world outside. “Sorry, that was rude of me.”

“But not untrue.” Riyo made her way around the kitchen, snatching her favorite mug from the drying rack and a reusable tea bag from her cabinet before preparing a drink with the hot water pot and tea leaves Rex had left out on the counter.

He spoke up as she poured water into the ceramic mug. “I’m glad it was you.”

She nearly spilled the pot all over herself with how much she jolted in surprise. “Pardon?”

Rex was looking at her again, eyes a deep gold in the morning light. “I’m glad it was you here.” He lifted his drink to his mouth, but not in time to hide his sly smile. “I don’t think there’s anyone else that could really help him now. And I know Ahsoka’s been glad to see a friendly face.”

Riyo blinked at him vacantly for several long seconds. “And you?” She asked, choosing to side-step dealing with the confused swirl of emotions that now filled her.

Rex smirked, clearly knowing she was avoiding it. “I found it nice to see that someone held true to their oaths.”

Her mind flashed back to when she’d first met Rex and his men, the renowned 501st Battalion. Orto Plutonia had been an unhappy experience, but one that she had grown much from. Seeing the lives of so many men cut short over miscommunication and greed, learning that her people were in the wrong, treating with a proud nation despite being uncertain of her place.

“‘To die for one’s people is a great sacrifice. To live for them, a greater sacrifice. I choose to live,’” she recited, those words seared into her soul until the day she died. She met his gaze with a steady look and a raised eyebrow. “What do you choose, Rex?”

He met her stare with an equally quirked brow, as if to say I’m here, aren’t I? “I live for my brothers that haven’t been freed. I live for the ones that already breathed their last.” He paused. “I live for her.”

Ahsoka.

“She chose you,” Riyo said slowly, parsing out his hidden message. “She saved you.”

“Yes.”

“She saved you… but at the cost of your brothers.”

He sucked in a breath. “Yes.”

Riyo closed her eyes, feeling the pain that rolled off him in waves. “And you blame her for it, yet you owe her everything.” She opened her eyes, and the devastated look on Rex’s face showed she’d guessed correctly.

“Sometimes, I wish she’d let me die with them,” he whispered into his mug, watching several stray tea leaves swirl in a gentle pattern. “To see them living, but not really alive– ” He trailed off, searching for something, anything to keep him afloat. Riyo rushed forward, gently taking the mug from his hands and setting it aside before wrapping her arms around his waist. She hoped he wouldn’t take offense– they’d never been close– but he readily clung to her, breaths coming in ragged pants as everything finally overwhelmed him.

She wondered if he hadn’t allowed himself to feel until now, in this safe haven on a forgotten planet.

“It’s a fate worse than death,” he finished, fingers clutching at her knitted sweater.

Riyo stroked his back, trying to help soothe him. “It is for you and them,” she murmured. “You can grieve for what you lost. You’re safe here.” She felt him tremble against her and tried to hold him tighter. “Would… would you like to come help me in the fields today? Ahsoka can stay here; she’ll be able to monitor Wolffe and come get us if needed.”

Rex exhaled shakily, but she could feel some of the tension leave him at the temporary escape she was giving him. “Yeah. Yeah, I’d like that.”

It seemed that Wolffe wasn’t the only trooper under her roof that she’d be helping to heal.

————————

Riyo woke Ahsoka after she’d gone to get dressed for the day. She wasn’t about to leave the house without alerting her friend, seeing that her and Rex disappearing with no notice could trigger a traumatic response. As it was, Ahsoka opened one eye to listen to Riyo’s explanation of where they’d be before mumbling her thanks and burrowing back under her blankets.

And so Riyo and Rex went out into the juvan fields.

They talked while they worked. Rex spoke of the brothers he’d lost, Riyo of the friends among the Corries. Color returned to his face and light to his eyes as the day went on and the memories piled up. By the time the afternoon light began to fade, he was able to laugh over some of the shenanigans his Torrent squad had got up to.

Ahsoka watched them both with curious eyes when they returned, but she didn’t comment. Instead, she told them that while Wolffe had been muttering on and off in his sleep, he hadn’t yet woken up again. Riyo made sure to set aside some of their soup that evening for him, thinking that he might finally be stable enough to eat. When dinner was finished, Riyo left Ahsoka and Rex to their low conversation as they spoke over washing dishes in the kitchen to check on Wolffe. To her surprise, he seemed to just then be waking.

The savory smell of the soup in her hands caught his attention first, and by the way his stomach rumbles, food was definitely what he needed. After a quick check to his bandages, Riyo held the bowl and helped him sip directly from it, finding that to be easier than trying to use a spoon. It was a slow and steady process, but she wanted to make sure Wolffe didn’t eat too fast and consequently vomit it up because his body couldn’t handle so much after so long asleep.

He seemed to be keeping it down well, to her relief, but then Wolffe mentioned needing to use the fresher, and a whole new set of obstacles arose. The first they barely managed to overcome as Riyo helped Wolffe stand by letting him lean heavily on her, and together they shuffled out of the room and to the fresher.

The second wasn’t as difficult physically, but still proved to be problematic on its own.

Riyo glares at him, unimpressed. “Can you even get your pants off by yourself?”

Wolffe’s indignant expression makes her fight back laughter. “Of course I can–” he starts, curling downwards slightly to try and pull them down far enough, but the crunch flares up his chest wound and he hisses. “Fine.”

Riyo sighed. “Wolffe, it’s nothing I haven’t seen before. I had to change you into these when you got here. Besides, I often walked through the Corrie barracks on my own, and one time I made a wrong turn and ended up in the Flash squadron locker room, and–”

“Alright, alright. Your point has been made,” he groaned with a roll of his eyes, and she finally caved in and laughed.

“Come on, then.” He held still as she carefully pulled down the sweatpants and underclothes, being sure not to aggravate his thigh injury. She’d been honest about seeing him bare not bothering her; anatomy was anatomy, and it was nothing to be ashamed of or shy away from, especially when acting as an impromptu medic. “There, is that good?”

“Yeah, I can–” Wolffe shifted slightly and accidentally put weight on his bad leg, nearly falling if he hadn’t tightened his hold around Riyo’s shoulders. Her hands shot out to brace his waist and keep him from toppling over.

“You’ll be able to do this alone soon, but not yet,” she reaffirmed. Closing her eyes, she jerked her chin towards the toilet. “Get busy, soldier.”

“Hilarious,” Wolffe deadpanned, but Riyo could feel him relax under her fingertips. She’d hoped her nonchalant manner would be similar enough to any medical care he’d had before, and it looks like her bet had paid off. She was a statue, solid and silent next to Wolffe as he relieved himself for the first time since waking. He was trembling from standing for so long by the time he finished, and didn’t say a word as Riyo helped him redress, wash off, and return to the bedroom. She knew how hard it was to accept help after spending so long being someone others relied on, and to be in a situation where he had no other option than to accept her generosity was bound to be even more difficult.

The unwitting sigh of relief that slipped through his lips as she guided him to lay back down on the bed was evidence of how taxing the short trip was. It worried Riyo. If he was to try and go anywhere further than the fresher, he’d need someone much stronger than her to steady him, and she didn’t know how long Rex or Ahsoka were planning to stay. She was already surprised they’d remained for this long, but she figured Rex wanted to make sure his brother was definitely alright before leaving him again.

“Thank you.”

She looked up from maneuvering the blankets back over his legs at Wolffe’s raspy voice. He was watching her again, appearing just as defeated as he had in the low light the night before. His eyes were flat, his face shadowed and paler than it normally was, which only served to heighten his haunted form.

“You’re welcome,” she finally replied after several moments of silence. “How do you feel now?”

He closed his eyes and let his head sink back into the pillows. “Tired.”

Riyo smiled lightly. “You need to rest. Can you drink some water before you go back to sleep?”

Wolffe hummed, which she took to be affirmative. When she returned with a mug of cool water, it was to find Wolffe had already propped himself up and was looking somewhat expectantly towards her. She held the mug to his lips again so he could drink and distracted herself by watching the way his eyes fluttered shut as he emptied the mug. With that done, she set it aside on the bedside table and hovered in case Wolffe couldn’t arrange himself comfortably on his back. To her delight, he was able to do it himself, albeit with shaking arms. Some progress was better than none at all.

Dusk was truly settling in and the room was beginning to grow darker with each passing second, so Riyo murmured a polite excuse and moved to leave. She was stopped by Wolffe’s hesitant call of her name.

“Yes?” Hopefully he wasn’t in too much pain…

“Can you…” His words died off as he gestured weakly towards the floor next to his bed.

Oh. “Of course I’ll stay,” Riyo agreed. “Let me wash up and change, and then I’ll be back.”

————————

His eyes were closed and his chest rose and fell in a steady, slow rhythm by the time she slipped back into the room. His arm dangled awkwardly off the side of the bed so his knuckles brushed the chilled floor. This time Riyo was the one to take his hand in hers and rest them on her pillow, next to her head. He was warm and solid, something real that grounded her as she drifted off to sleep.

It was too dark for her to see the weary smile on Wolffe’s face as his thumb rubbed gentle circles against her palm before he too was out like a light.

[terreisa]

Love Down the Line: Epilogue

The last thing Indie musician Emma Swan needs is a gigantic wrench thrown in the workings of her biggest tour to date weeks before its launch.  When her backing guitarist that caused the problem says she has the perfect solution Emma is skeptical but left with little choice but to accept.  Unfortunately she isn’t really prepared for said solution to be former Rock Star and leading man of Emma’s teenage fantasies, Killian Jones.  With no other options and a month of performing across the country ahead of her Emma just hopes she doesn’t come to regret letting Killian onto her stage and into her life.

Ch 1, Ch 2, Ch 3, Ch 4, Ch 5, Ch 6, Ch 7, Ch 8, Ch 9, Ch 10, Ch 11, Ch 12, AO3

~*CS*~

Los Angeles, Three Years Later

“You know, the last time I was here they only gave me those itty bitty bottles of water.”

Killian laughed to himself but kept his eyes trained to his phone.  He knew if he looked up the love of his life would be scowling at the unnecessarily large bottles of expensive water lined up along the counter of the green room they were waiting in.  Emma Swan was prone to many wonderful things but graciously giving up on a grudge was not one of them.

“The last time you were here you hadn’t won five Grammys in one fell swoop.  When I was doing the first interviews with Realm of Jewels we were lucky to get cups of tap water.  We thought a slice of lemon was the height of luxury.”

“Yeah, well that was what?  Three hundred years ago?” She teased, moving across the room to flop down beside him on the couch with a huff, “They should at least have a water cooler or something.  Reusable bottles are the way of the future.”

“First you complain about the water they’re providing and now you’re complaining about the one their not?  Can they do nothing to please you?”

He looked over at her with a raised brow and she gave him a smirk.

“They fired Walsh so that’s a step in the right direction.”

“Thank bloody fuck,” he growled, turning back to his phone with a scowl.

Emma had eventually told him the full extent of what had happened the day of her interview with Walsh Hoakley.  Not only had the wanker reported gossip as though it were truth, which caused the brief falling out between him and Emma that had made them both miserable, but the berk had hit on her not ten minutes after.  When she finally had told him, only a few days after they had reconciled, it had taken an hour for him to calm down and at least a week for her to convince him not to fight her battles for her.  The news of Hoakley’s firing less than a year later had been celebrated with a sparkling cider toast.

“So-” Emma peered over his shoulder and he felt some of his tension melt away, “What’s got you paying more attention to your phone than the expensive goodies they’re trying to get on our good side with?”

With a snort he tilted his phone towards her, “Just going over the contract one last time.”

“We have a fancy lawyer for that don’t we?” She asked crossing her arms as she sat back, “And Ruby wouldn’t try to scam you.  I mean, look what’s happened since she decided to become my manager instead of staying in my backing band.”

“Well, aside from those five Grammys I mentioned-”

“What?!” Emma’s brows shot up and her mouth dropped open in clearly feigned shock, “I won five Grammys?  I had no idea!”

“Hush, love, you deserved them and I’m honored to brag on your behalf,” he chided though he gave her a wink, “Although, I don’t rightly think we can give Ruby the credit for that.”

She scoffed and burrowed further into the couch, “If she hadn’t forced me to let you audition then we wouldn’t have met.  Then we wouldn’t have had our grand romance that in turn inspired In the Middlemist and I wouldn’t have won those Grammys.”

“I believe that we would have met eventually, love.  If not through our careers then we would have certainly been invited to Ruby’s wedding where I would have been immediately smitten with the blonde in the crimson bridesmaid dress,” he said lowly, pleased to see her cheeks flush.

“And I probably would have freaked out even more meeting you for the first time there than at the studio.  You know how much I like seeing you in a suit-” she said huskily, leaning up to press a soft kiss under his jaw.  Then she sat back and smiled wide, “Even then Ruby would still be the reason we met.  That’s why I dedicated it to her and not you.”

“Is that why?  I thought it was because you were still upset with me over the tiny misunderstanding over your choice in vehicle.”

He gave her a knowing look and she glared right back at him.  When he raised his brow in challenge she rolled her eyes at him.

“Fine, that was part of it,” she conceded, “But I did mention you in every acceptance speech.”

“Which was wonderful aside from the camera they kept shoving in my face to capture my every proud tear in HD,” he grumbled, remembering the repeated messages from Will that were just the GIF of him crying after Emma had said she loved him onstage holding her third award of the night.  He blew out a breath, “As I was saying: aside from all that I will admit that your career has flourished under Ruby’s care.  She has become quite the adversary of Regina, stealing her best clients away.”

“Regina’s over it now,” she dismissed with a wave of her hand, “Ever since you reintroduced her to Robin in a non-business setting and then moved to that corner office things have been great.”

Just as he was about to make a somewhat lewd comment as to exactly why both those things would put Regina in a good mood there was a knock on the door.  It was opened a moment later by the intern that had initially led them there.

“They’re ready for you, if you’d like to follow me.”

He let Emma proceed him as he stowed his phone in his pocket.  She was right, of course, Ruby wouldn’t dream of sneaking in last minute changes to the contract making her his new manager.  If anything she would have been fine with a verbal agreement and the promise of making her the godmother of whatever child he and Emma might have.  Unfortunately all of their fancy, and expensive, lawyers required things in writing and in triplicate.

The intern led them to a broadcasting studio that looked like every other one he’d ever been interviewed in.  One glaring difference, however, was the radio host who squealed when she saw them and practically skipped towards them with open arms.

“Finally, you guys!  I’ve been waiting all week for this!”

Emma laughed and accepted the hug easily, “Us too, Tink.  Killian’s had it marked in all of our calendars the second Ruby booked it.”

Tink pulled back from Emma and gave him a wide smile, “I’d heard she finally got you to make it official.  There’s no stopping her now.”

“As though there was a chance before,” he chuckled. “Lovely to see you again, TInk.”

“If you guys lived here I’d see you more,” she chided gently before stepping forward to wrap her arms around him, “Everyone’s still on for dinner tomorrow, right?”

“Of course, Will wouldn’t let us hear the end of it if we didn’t,” he scoffed, giving her a light squeeze before letting go.

“Great!  I still can’t believe he ditched Emma to be in your band,” She said with a laugh, grinning broadly at Emma’s frown.  Something over his shoulder caught her eye and she nodded before focusing back on them, “Alright, my producer’s about to throw a fit if we waste any more time.  Go ahead and get settled while I do my thing.”

As he and Emma moved to the seats awaiting them Tink bounced over to her chair and donned her headphones.  With a bit of awe and intimidation he watched Tink easily slip into performance mode, softening her accent and dialing up her enthusiasm as she introduced herself and the start of her broadcast block.  She hadn’t been a DJ for long but he could clearly see she had found her calling.  When she teased their interview she gave them an overexaggerated wink that had him stifling a laugh.

After two songs and a small promo of Enchanted’s other stations Tink gave them a thumbs up as her producer let them know that their mics were live.

“That was the latest from The Killers and I don’t know about you but I’m more than ready for their new album to be released.  I’m Tink and this is Rock Alt, home to all the alternative rock hits here on Enchanted XM.  Today is a very exciting day because in the studio with me, right this very moment, are two people that you should be very familiar with: five time Grammy winner and indie darling Emma Swan and two time Grammy winner and alt rock god Killian Jones.  Once upon a time I toured with Emma as part of her backing band and on one of those more memorable tours Killian decided to join us.  Welcome, welcome!”

“I can truthfully say we’re excited to be here,” Emma chimed in brightly, her grin wide and happy.

“Yes, thanks for having us, love,” Killian said warmly. “Though I feel it’s only right to mention that those two Grammys were won with Realm of Jewels.”

“Aw, it’s only a matter of time before they’ll be joined by plenty of others, especially with this new album-” Tink waggled her eyebrows and he had a feeling she wasn’t going to go easy on them just because she was their friend. “There’s no question that you two are more than just friendly collaborators, with a couple of writing credits on each other’s albums and a duet on Killian’s acoustic cover album of Realm of Jewels’ greatest hits.  We’ve also seen the red carpet photos and Instagram glimpses of your romance.”

He looked over at Emma and received an eye roll in return.  When they’d first truly started dating they’d kept it hidden from anyone that wasn’t close friends or family.  They had both felt that they wanted to start their relationship without the hounding from the press and scrutiny from the gossip mongers.  It wasn’t until nearly a year and a half later, when Emma had clearly been his date to American Music Awards, that they’d gone public.  Even then they had both agreed that they’d keep their personal lives as private as possible and continued to do so.  Including the fact that they’d been married for two years.

“But now you’ve released a surprise album as a duo,” Tink continued, “going by the name Charles & Leia, which also happens to be the title of the album.  It’s amazing by the way and if any of you out there haven’t listened to it yet I suggest you do so, but only after this interview is over, of course.  So, how did this come about and why Charles & Leia?”

Emma gave him a shrug and a nod and he leaned closer to his mic, “As you mentioned earlier we’ve been playing together for some time now.  After that tour I was a part of we were both starting on our next albums and would often work through arrangements or fine tune lyrics, using the other as a sounding board.  This has, as evidenced, continued through the years until one day we thought we might try our hands at creating a whole album together.”

“We didn’t want it to be an album of my songs featuring him or vice versa though,” Emma chimed in. “Then it would have just been the same thing we’d already been doing which would have been fun but kinda boring at the same time.  We wanted to challenge ourselves to create something new together from the beginning.  Luckily our label was open to the idea and let us run with it.”

“And the name?” Tink prodded.

“A bit of an inside joke, really,” he said with a chuckle, reaching over to clasp Emma’s hand in his, “Whenever we made reservations or had to give a name for whatever reason I used Charles and Emma used Leia.  I don’t even remember why-”

Emma snorted, “When he made the reservations for our first date and they asked for a name he panicked.  We’d been watching The Crown and he blurted out the name Charles.  At least he didn’t completely lose his shit and say Elizabeth.”

Emma’s eyes widened at the curse and clapped her hands over her mouth.  Tink waved her hand in dismissal.  Not a moment later the producer let them know through their headphones that cursing was fine but to keep it to a minimum if possible.

“Anyway,” Emma said evenly, though her cheeks were pink, “When it was my turn to make reservations I kept it going.  Princess Leia was my hero when I was a kid.  Still is actually.”

“As she is for us all,” Killian jumped in, “Of course we no longer use those as our aliases but when we were trying to decide how we wanted to present ourselves for this album this seemed appropriate.”

“We also figured it would give people the chance to listen to the songs without already having an idea of what they thought it should sound like because they knew it was us,” Emma explained, “I mean, it’s not like we’re trying to deceive anyone or anything but a lot of times people don’t try something out because they think they know exactly what it’s going to be.  I know I’m totally guilty of it sometimes.”

“I’ve been listening to the album non-stop since it came out last week and you’re absolutely right, if I hadn’t already known that it was you two I wouldn’t have even been able to guess.  Now, I’ve played alongside both of you and have been a fan of each of your music since both of your beginnings and I have to say, Charles & Leia is nothing like the music you’ve released before.  What would you say were the biggest influences on how you approached the creation of this album?”

Killian took a moment to consider Tink’s question.  He immediately dismissed sharing the long convoluted answer that began with innocent questions about one another’s past that led to a months long search into the mystery of Emma’s beginnings that came up empty while he nearly spiralled out of control once more over the unhealed pain of his borderline abusive and neglectful father.  They were still working through some of those issues in therapy and even with the personal nature of the songs they’d written he didn’t feel it was necessary to elaborate on what the lyrics already implied.

“I can’t speak for Emma but for me it’s a look to the past and what influence it has on the present and the future.  Take the title track for instance, my mother was Irish so I looked to the old Celtic folk songs and the instruments used, mimicking the flow of the music before playing around with more modern sounds.  The result was entirely unique but still felt familiar, like an auditory deja vu, if you will.”

Tink was nodding furiously while Emma rolled her eyes at him, “I definitely won’t be that eloquent but yeah, we both have things in our past that sometimes takes a toll on who we are today.  Our music was already pretty personal.  I mean, I’ve written songs about growing up in foster care or when I was in jail but this was something else.  Every day when we finished recording whatever song we were working on I felt like I’d been turned inside out and then wrung out but in a good way?  It makes no sense but I’ve also never been this proud of one of my albums.”

“Well you should both be damn proud!  I may be the tad bit biased but I think this may be the best album to come out this year and we’re only halfway through,” Tink effused.

“Thank you lass,” he mumbled as he scratched behind his ear at the compliment.

He caught Emma’s eye and she gave him an indulgent smile.  She was well aware that sincere praise always tended to discomfit him, as he felt he was undeserving of it, especially when it came from someone he knew well.  It was something he was working on getting better at accepting, with her help of course.

“Since the album was a surprise release there hasn’t been any confirmation of a tour yet.  Any chance we’ll be seeing you two taking this act on the road?”

“We’re doing a kind of a mini tour on the east coast and then a couple of dates out here,” Emma explained, her eyes sparkling, “We didn’t want to get too ahead of ourselves and book a bunch of dates and then not have anyone show up.”

“I doubt that will be a problem,” Tink dismissed with a bright laugh, “From what I’ve been told nearly every show is sold out.  So if any of you listeners out there want to see Emma and Killian perform songs from this brilliant new album I’d say don’t wait to buy your tickets.  I already have mine.

“Now, I know this album is only weeks old and you both have flourishing solo careers but I have to ask: can we expect even bigger things from you two in the future?”

With a smile he had no hope of quelling he gave Emma a wink, though he was reasonably sure that it was nowhere near subtle.  It didn’t matter though, as no one had a clue what it could mean since she had only shown him the positive pregnancy test earlier that morning.  Emma gave him a beaming grin of her own and he kept his eyes on her as he spoke into his mic.

“I think you can, Tink.  In fact, I’m quite certain that this is merely the happy beginning of grand things to come.”

[three-drink-amy]

All the Shine of a Thousand Spotlights

masterlist - AO3

With the holidays, it’s a miracle I know it’s Monday and that I should be posting. I hope you enjoy this chapter! Thanks for reading! 

Chapter Thirteen: These Things Are Sent to Try Us

I made the mistake of waiting until after the holidays to reach out to Lamb. I didn’t even have the chance to mention getting together before he dropped his own news on me. 

“Claire, I have the greatest news! I’ve been asked to teach a class at a prestigious arts academy! Isn’t that wonderful?” 

I congratulated him, knowing how desperately he’d been trying to find purpose in his life again. Perhaps teaching could be that for him. “That’s fantastic! Where is it? The one here in New York?” 

“Actually, no. It’s in London. The one I attended, as a matter of fact.” 

I paused for a long moment, trying to process it. Lamb had lived in New York for as long as I had been alive. Longer, even. “Wow. Alright. When do you go? How long will you be gone?” 

“I know it’s last minute, but I’ll be leaving in two days and will be there for eight weeks,” he told me. I bit my lip, trying to decide if I could wait to introduce him to Jamie until after he got back. Without a doubt in my mind, I knew he wouldn’t be open to talking about anything but this new opportunity. 

“Well that sounds wonderful,” I said, feeling a bit defeated. There was another part of me though — a dark, sick part of me — that was a bit relieved that I could put off Lamb’s inevitable judgment for a while longer. I really did want Jamie and Lamb to meet. Truly. But I knew, no matter how hard I tried, it likely wouldn’t go well. 

Jamie, thankfully, understood and we went back to our pleasant routine we’d been in before the holidays. I worked three days a week. Jamie acted every night. And together, we fell more in love. 

* * *

Jamie was drinking a cup of coffee on the couch as Claire looked through the fridge, making a list on her phone. They were running very low on groceries and didn’t need to be ordering take-out as often as they did. It was convenient, especially for keeping their relationship a secret. 

She grabbed her purse and walked over toward the couch where he sat. “Think about what you want for lunch,” she suggested before bending down for a kiss. 

“Would it not be better to eat from the groceries that ye’re already getting?” 

Claire rolled her eyes at him in the way he found both endearing and exasperating. “We’re celebrating. Don’t you remember?” 

He nodded, a small smile on his face. “Aye, I recall.” 

“Six months since your first show!” she cheered for him. 

Jamie grabbed her hand, pulling her down again. “I believe that also makes six months since something else happened…” Meeting her for a kiss, he pretended to play dumb. “But what was it?” 

Claire played along. “Yeah, something else. Hmmm. Wonder what it could be.” 

He laughed before kissing her hard. “I’ll think on it.” 

She smiled, squeezing his hand. “I will too.” As she opened the door, she turned back to him. “Text me if I forgot anything.” 

Jamie nodded in reply, waving her off. He watched as she flashed him one last smile before walking out the door. 

It was all so terribly domestic, and sometimes, Jamie couldn’t really believe it was his life. He was essentially living with the woman of his dreams. How was he that lucky? 

He loved Claire with all of him, every fiber of his being. There was no doubt in his mind that he wanted to be with her forever. He’d pretty much been there from the moment they both confessed their feelings. Since then, his feelings had only grown deeper. 

The days where she didn’t work were his favorite. He’d never tell her that. After all, he still felt a bit guilty that she’d altered her work life to accommodate him. But those days were bliss. They’d wake up whenever they woke up instead of having a blaring alarm. Their mornings would be spent however they decided to spend it, whether it was a run (either separately or one of them in a hat that seemed to hide their face), or laying around, or not getting out of bed until they were both fully sated with the other. Those days were his favorite by far. When Claire was just Claire and he was just Jamie. 

He’d mostly moved into Claire’s home in the last couple of months. It started with some clothes and some shoes. That continued to some of his movies that he thought it was a crime she’d never seen. He brought over sheets and towels because he felt like he needed to share and not just go through hers. It had been a couple of weeks since he’d even been back to his own apartment and he didn’t care in the slightest. Jamie was happy and comfortable at Claire’s. And if she was content with it, that’s all that mattered. 

Jamie finished his coffee not long after Claire left for the store and decided to use the time while she was gone to clean up the kitchen. After scrubbing down the counters and sink —as Claire liked to do so regularly that it rubbed off on him — he sat back down on the couch and flipped on the tv. He was still scrolling for something to watch on Netflix when there was a knock at the door. 

Jumping up, Jamie opened the door, imagining Claire didn’t have a hand to get her keys out. But as the door swung open, he was stunned at the person on the other side. The legendary Lambert Beauchamp stood before him, looking thoroughly confused. 

Glancing down at his attire, Jamie regretted meeting the man in a t-shirt and sweats. He cleared his throat nervously. Lamb beat him to the punch to speak first. 

“I was looking for Claire.” 

“Ah, of course. She’s, uh, not here,” Jamie said, feeling flustered. He stuck out his hand. “It’s a pleasure to meet ye though, I’m —”

“Oh, I know who you are,” Lamb interrupted him. “But perhaps you can illuminate me on why you’re here, so clearly in a comfortable state, at my niece’s — and more than that, your director’s — home.” 

It felt like a rock was stuck in Jamie’s throat. He knew Claire was nervous for the two of them to meet. This certainly wasn’t going to help. Jamie had no words to explain. It was clear what Lamb assumed. And it was more or less correct. Jamie stood there silently, trying desperately to find words. Lamb strode past him into the apartment, planting himself on the couch with a suspicious look. Jamie slowly closed the door behind him, wishing more than anything that it had been his turn to go get groceries. 

* * *

I reached the door —finally— and struggled to get my key in the door. Huffing out a breath, I threw open the door, not even looking around the apartment. I spotted Jamie’s red head of hair out of the corner of my eye. “I couldn’t find that coffee you asked for, so I grabbed that other brand we liked.” Slamming the reusable grocery bags down on the counter, I heard Jamie clear his throat. 

“Claire,” he said almost nervously. 

I looked up and felt my stomach drop. Jamie wasn’t alone in the apartment. “Lamb,” I said in a small voice. My eyes went wide as I glanced back at Jamie. How long ago had Lamb arrived? How long had the two of them been alone together? How had Lamb reacted to Jamie being alone in my home? Likely, not well. “When did you get back from England?” 

Lamb stayed where he was by the couch but his eyes were trained on me. “Last night. I thought I’d come by today and surprise you.” I glanced over at Jamie with an apologetic look. “But instead, it was I who was surprised.” 

I rubbed a hand across my face. “I can see that.” 

“You never mentioned you were seeing anyone,” Lamb mentioned. “If that is what this ” — he gestured between me and Jamie — “ in fact is.” 

My eyes squeezed shut, hating that this was how the two most important men in my life were meeting. “Yes, Jamie and I are dating,” I confirmed for him. “I waited to tell you until we were together for a bit. And then when I was going to tell you, you informed me with only two days notice that you were leaving the country for at least two months. So as you can imagine, I decided to wait.” 

Lamb shook his head. “You’re better than this, Claire.”

I gaped at him. “Excuse me?” 

“An actor? Claire, you know he’s only with you to advance his career. And the evidence of that is pretty damning considering he’s the lead of your last show and was formerly a no name.” 

Jamie’s eyes were closed as he stood with his back to the door. I was resisting the urge to throw the nearest object at Lamb. He had no right to be saying such things. 

“You don’t know a damn thing about Jamie or my relationship with him!” I yelled. “For your information — not that you actually asked — we weren’t together until after the show opened. He gained his role on his own. Though, thank you so much for accusing both of us of impropriety. Forget the fact that you don’t even know him, but is that really what you think I’d do?” 

Lamb still looked unimpressed. “I’ve been around a lot longer than you. I’ve seen a lot of good directors start relationships like this for the same reasons but it turned out it wasn’t quite what they thought it was. I’ve seen plenty of people get burned. I know you think you know what this is, but you’re being naive, Claire. Just open your eyes and see that he’s using you.” 

I’d hit my limit. I threw my arm out, pointing to my office. “Office. Now.” I abandoned the groceries and stalked to my office, feeling like steam must surely be coming from my ears. Lamb stepped inside and I slammed the door shut behind me. 

“I need you to listen and actually hear what I’m saying. I love this man. I am in love with him. I wanted you to meet under better circumstances, but this is where we are. I get that you're trying to protect me, and I appreciate that, but I’m not going to fucking take the way you’re treating both of us. We’re adults, for Christ’s sake. He’s not using me. We knew what we were to each other at the beginning of our relationship.” 

Lamb opened his mouth to talk but I talked over him. 

“And frankly, I wouldn’t care if he used my career and reputation to further his own career because he deserves a good career. But I know for a fact that he’s not doing that. And you know why? Because I’ve actually spent time with him and you just made assumptions. He’s a good man, better than anyone I’ve met on Broadway. And I love him. I want him in my life.” I paused, letting all that information sink in with Lamb. 

“So, here are your options: you can either walk back out there and get to know the man who is very important to me, or you can find your way out. I need him in my life. I don’t need you telling me I’m a naive child. These are your options. I’ll give you some time to think them through.” 

Without letting him speak, I strode from my office and back to the kitchen. Jamie was putting away the groceries I’d just brought home. As he closed the fridge, he turned to me, shooting me a sad look. I walked straight into his arms and held him tightly. His head leaned against mine as his hands rubbed at my back. 

“I’m sorry,” he said softly. 

“Why should you be sorry? I’m sorry he was so awful.” 

“I should have looked first,” Jamie argued. “I could have spared us all this if I’d looked before just opening the door. I could have pretended no one was here.” 

I chuckled against his chest. “No, he’d probably have let himself in. That would have been even worse.” 

“I ken this wasna how ye wanted us to meet. And I’m sorry for that.” 

I pulled back and looked up at him, running a hand along his cheek. “It doesn’t matter. Whatever he thinks doesn’t matter. You know that, right?” His brow furrowed. “Of course I wanted you both to get along, but if he says he doesn’t approve, it doesn’t change anything for me. You’re too important to me.” 

A small smile crossed his face before he leaned down to place a kiss at my hairline. My eyes fluttered closed and I let him hold me again. 

I heard the door to my office open again, the sound of footsteps carrying back to the kitchen. Jamie and I both looked over just in time to watch Lamb walk right out the door of my apartment. 

My mouth fell open as tears sprang to my eyes. A pain started in my chest at the thought that he’d rather just leave. Jamie held me tighter, whispering to me in Gaelic. 

A knock at the door shook both of us. Shooting one look at Jamie, I pulled back from his embrace and walked over to the door. Lamb stood on the other side, a contrite look on his face. 

“I’d like a fresh start if you think that’s alright,” he told me. 

I shook my head, a dry laugh bubbling out of me. “You always had to be so bloody dramatic.” 

“Curse of the trade,” he said with a shrug. “I heard what you said. And I’d like to start over.” He cleared his throat, standing up a bit taller. “Claire, I’m back from England. I’d love to take this time to catch up on your life.” 

I smiled despite the lingering anger I felt. Standing out of the way, I gestured for him to enter. “Lamb, there’s someone I want you to meet,” I said, playing along. “This is Jamie, my boyfriend.” 

Jamie smiled broadly — as he did every time I broke out the title. He reached his hand out to Lamb and met him for a shake. 

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Jamie,” Lamb said in a friendly tone. Much friendlier than before. 

Jamie nodded to him. “The pleasure is mine.” 

I walked over and stood next to Jamie, my arm automatically wrapping around his waist. 

“Claire, you’re right, I don’t know much, if anything, about your relationship. How long have you been together?” 

I looked up at Jamie, a fond smile crossing my face. “Today is six months, actually.” 

Lamb’s eyes went wide. “Six months? And you didn’t tell me?” 

I felt a stab of guilt. “Well honestly, I wasn’t sure how you were going to react. I rather thought it would be like this,” I said, motioning to where he’d stood before. “You can imagine why I’d want to put that off.” 

Lamb shook his head, closing his eyes. “I’m sorry, my dear. I played right into what you thought of me. I just never wanted anything bad to happen to you. I should have listened to you before I just jumped to my own conclusions. Jamie, if you would allow me, I’d love to go to lunch with both of you and get to know you better.” 

We flashed an unsure look at each other. “Well, uh, I appreciate the offer,” Jamie replied, “but you two are more than welcome to go.” 

“We don’t really go out in public together,” I explained. “Our relationship is a secret, save for Jamie’s family. We didn’t want people to accuse Jamie of...well, what you accused Jamie of.” 

I could see that Lamb was feeling guilty. I wasn’t too sure I cared all that much though. 

“We were actually going to order in it you’d like to join us,” Jamie offered. He glanced at me. “I thought about Frescos.”

“Oh I love Frescos!” Lamb cried, a smile on his face. 

Jamie grinned at the reaction. I shrugged with a smile as well. “I suppose we have a winner then.” 

* * *

We talked with Lamb for hours. He talked about teaching in England. Jamie talked about the show. I talked around my lightened workload. And together, we talked about our relationship. Once we got past the initial animosity, it was nice having the two most important people in my life in the same room. 

Eventually, Jamie walked toward our bedroom, changing so he could head to the theater. Lamb didn’t seem to feel the need to leave. I wouldn’t mind the chance to talk to him privately, so I didn’t encourage him to. 

As Jamie was putting on his jacket, Lamb walked over to him, reaching out his hand. “It was lovely meeting you, Jamie. I hope we’ll see each other again soon.” 

Jamie nodded, a pleased look on his face. “I would like that.” 

Lamb clapped him on the arm. “Break a leg tonight.” 

“Thanks.” 

Lamb and I essentially traded positions as I walked over to Jamie. He looked nervously past me, but I didn’t care. Leaning up to him, I kissed him softly. “I’ll see you later.” 

He nodded. “Aye.” 

I kissed him again, whispering to him. “I love you.” 

His lips pressed back to mine. “I love ye too.” 

With one more goodbye to the room, Jamie walked out the door. I waited for a short moment before I walked back over to Lamb. He watched me as I sat down and took a drink of my wine. 

“You were right,” he admitted, breaking the silence. “He seems like a good man.” I nodded, not really knowing how to reply. “And I can see how much he cares for you.” 

“I know he does,” I replied. “And I do too.” 

It was Lamb’s turn to nod. “I can see that. You know what else I see?” I shrugged. “I can see how happy you are. And that makes me happy as well. Even more than when you got your first show, you’re happy.” 

“I am. Truly.” 

“I’m glad.” Lamb took a drink of his wine. “I was never able to do that. To balance a relationship and work. So I just blindly pursued my work. I loved it enough. But that was my choice. And sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I’d tried a bit harder.” 

I took a long sip of my wine. “I wasn’t going to tell you this earlier — you know, when you thought Jamie was using me and all — but I am taking a bit of a break. Well, really, I’ve just shortened my weeks. I wanted more time to devote to building a relationship. I still work, but I’m also still able to make things work with Jamie. He was unsure about me making this choice, but it was my decision that I made on my own.” 

Lamb watched me for a moment. “It’s your career. If you needed that time, it’s yours to take. You’ve worked hard enough to build up a solid reputation. I’m sure when you have more time to give back to your career, it’ll still be there for you.” 

I nodded in agreement. “That was more or less what I thought as well.” 

* * *

Lamb and I parted on much better terms than when we met that afternoon. Later, when Jamie came home, he found me on the couch trying and failing to read my book. He grinned as he threw himself dramatically on the couch next to me. Grabbing my ankles, he pulled me toward him. I leaned into him easily. “Hi.” 

“Hello,” he replied, pulling me closer to him for a kiss. “How’s yer book?” 

“Haven’t really been able to focus on it, honestly.” 

“Thinking about today?” I nodded. “By the end, I thought it went alright.” 

I nodded again, moving so I could curl into his side. “It did. He really liked you. Once he saw you, Jamie, and not you, Actor.” 

“Well once I met him, Uncle Lamb, and not him, Director Lamb, I rather liked him as well.” 

My head leaned on his shoulder. “I’m glad. I’m sorry for all the shit at the beginning.” 

Jamie chuckled. “Ye dinna need to be. I’m just sorry we didna really get to celebrate our six months.” 

I picked my head up and looked at him. “Well I was thinking about that too. I thought of a way to celebrate.” 

Jamie’s eyebrows raised, a devious glint in his eye. “Oh?” He leaned closer to me.

I laughed, pushing his face away. “That too. But later.” 

He grabbed my hands, holding them in his. “Okay. Then what was yer thought?” 

Taking a deep breath, I watched him for a moment. “What if…” I took another breath. “What if you moved in with me?” 

Jamie’s eyes widened, seemingly trying to tell if I was serious. “Ye mean it?” 

I nodded insistently. “I do. On a logical level, it makes sense for us to have one apartment instead of two. But also, I just want you here, always. I love coming home from work and coming home to you. Even when we see each other just in passing, I know that I’ll see you as I arrive and you leave. Or knowing that if I go to bed before you get back, I’m still going to wake up next to you.” 

A broad smile spread across Jamie’s face as his hands tightened around mine. “It is rather nice.” 

“Yeah,” I agreed. “So…?” 

He pulled my hands back suddenly, bringing me against him. “Obviously, yes. I canna even remember the last night I stayed at my apartment because I havena wanted to. Because I want to be here. With you.” 

We shared a smile before his hand resting against my neck brought me down for a kiss. My hands linked behind his head as I kissed him long and deep. Neither of us really moved things forward. It was slow and sweet as we melted into each other in a haze of happiness. Six months had felt like nothing and everything at the same time.

Next chapter

[imaginingsoftly]

It Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time Pt 4 - Morgan Rielly

Type: roommates to lovers, Y/N insert shorts

Requested: No

Warnings: none

(Y/N = Your name, no POV change this chapter. It’s all in Morgan’s POV)

A/N: this is mostly just fluff, but very happy stuff, a lot lighter than the last chapter.

More than anything, Morgan regretted falling asleep on the ride home. That first week living with Y/N had left him with more questions than answers about his new roommate, and the guys were never any help. It was a constant stream of “that’s just Y/N” or “yeah she does that sometimes”, without any real explanation as to why. She was always working, even when she was at home. The three bags that she lugged to and from the school with her every day had appeared to weigh her down significantly, but now he was wondering if it was just the stress of worrying about the kids. 

He was ashamed to admit that he had never really thought of teaching as a stressful profession; going to school 5 days a week from 7-3 didn’t seem that hard until he saw just how much Y/N was doing when she wasn’t at the school. Every night she sat on the floor of the living room for hours, baseball turned on in the background as she created things for her classroom or weeded through forms and papers he didn’t think could understand even if she tried to explain them. He had asked once what she was doing, but she’d used so many acronyms in the span of one sentence that he was afraid to ask her to explain what they meant. 

Those few hours on the beach really gave him an opportunity to understand where Y/N was coming from, and why it looked like she held the weight of the world on her shoulders. In some ways, he guessed that she kind of did. So yeah, he regretted falling asleep and not getting the chance to ask her for more information. 

It was almost noon by the time he managed to get himself out of bed, and he’d only moved because he heard voices from outside, one of which potentially belonged to Hamilton. “It’s been good, Doug,” Y/N was saying as he walked to his bedroom door, “he’s a sweet guy.” He couldn’t hear Hamilton’s quiet response, but he heard Y/N’s next sentence clearly. “I’ve actually been thinking about telling him he could stay for the season if he wants. That way he doesn’t have to worry about moving once you guys really get into the season.” Morgan stopped short of the door. Did she really mean that? It would make his life so much easier, and he hadn’t really been looking very hard for a place either. Hamilton and Y/N turned as Morgan came out of his room, and the first thing that he noticed was how Y/N’s Y/E/C eyes brightened when she saw him. She really did have beautiful eyes. 

“Heya, sleepyhead,” she joked with a laugh. “We were just taking bets on if you were gonna sleep all day.” Y/N was sitting on the counter, a large mug of coffee in her hands and her hair loose around her. Doug was leaning on the opposite counter, holding one of the muffins Y/N had made a few days prior in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other. “Sup, Mo. I was just telling Y/N that we’re having a little cookout tonight at Svechy’s place as a ‘happy hockey season’ party. You’re both coming, attendance mandatory.” Y/N looked like she was about to protest, but Hamilton held up a hand to stop her. “Kat said you’re coming, no excuses. She also said to make your chili.” Hamilton looked back at Morgan and smiled. “Y/N here apparently makes phenomenal chili, and Kat’s decided that we all need to experience it.” 

Y/N jumped off the counter with a sigh. “Well if I’m making chili I need to go grocery shopping. It needs to sit as long as possible, since that asshole didn’t give me enough warning to make it last night.” She stomped into her bedroom, throwing the door shut a little bit dramatically. Both Morgan and Hamilton looked at the door and then each other before bursting into laughter. Hamilton stepped forward, clapping Morgan on the shoulder. “Alright man, I’ll leave you with that mess. See you tonight. 6 o’clock. Y/N knows where to go.” Morgan nodded and fist-bumped his captain. Hamilton let himself out of the apartment, and Morgan went back into his room to get dressed. 

By the time he came back out, Y/N was gathering reusable bags and still muttering under her breath. “Can I come with you?” Morgan asked, stepping back into the living room. Y/N turned, and Morgan was pretty sure his jaw dropped. She was wearing a simple little navy dress and her Red Sox hat, a pair of white Converse on her feet, and she looked absolutely incredible. He had never realized how tan she really was, probably from all of her time at the beach, but the tank of the dress really showed it off. “Yeah, sure.” Y/N’s answer snapped him back into reality, and he shook his head as he threw on a pair of sneakers. 

Their walk to the farmers market was full of a pointless argument about the best junk food, and Morgan had a feeling he was never going to win this argument. “Chips are nowhere near the best kind of junk food, Morgan, what the fuck?” Y/N looked at him incredulously as they reached a crosswalk, and Morgan stared back at her stubbornly. “Oh, and shitty Dominos pizza is?” he threw back sarcastically. “Yes! Yes shitty pizza is better than chips. Nothing tastes better than shitty pizza when you’ve been eating really healthy.” Y/N gestured with her hands as she spoke, something Morgan was beginning to notice she did a lot. They turned onto the street the farmers market was on, and Morgan forgot his response. The street was bustling, filled with people selling everything from produce to breads to candles and flowers. Y/N headed straight for a vegetable truck with purpose, and Morgan followed close behind her. 

“Ms. Y/N!” The owner shouted as they walked up, “How are you, honey?” The man was old, his hands tan and spotted from years in the sun, and his accent was thick. Morgan liked him immediately. “Hello, Mr. Mason. I’m good, how are you today?” Mason grinned at Y/N and grabbed her hands, squeezing them gently. “I’m great now that my favorite customer is back. What can I get for you today?” Y/N reached into her bag and pulled out a mesh produce bag. “I need a whole bunch of peppers today. What have you got for me?” Morgan followed behind the pair as they began surveying his produce, smiling back at the older man when he looked back at Morgan. “I have some bell peppers, jalapenos, anaheims, and poblanos. Would those work?” Y/N nodded enthusiastically. “Those are perfect, actually! I’m making chili, and those are all the peppers I would normally use.” She gathered up a few of each pepper, and walked with Mason to check out. Morgan continued to follow, and jumped when Mason addressed him suddenly. 

“I hope you’re treating my girl right, son. She’s a good one.” Y/N’s face was priceless when she registered what the older man had said, and she jumped in before Morgan could respond. “Oh, no, Morgan and I are just friends. He’s a teammate of Kat’s boyfriend. Do you remember Kat? My old roommate?” Mason nodded, clearly remembering the feisty girl that used to be by Y/N’s side every weekend. “Yes, I remember her. Tell her I’m upset she hasn’t come by for my strawberries lately, will you honey?” Y/N grinned at the man, and Morgan caught himself staring at her again. It was becoming a problem, but he couldn’t help it. When she smiled, it seemed like the whole world brightened for a little while. It was one of those smiles that was totally infectious. He was brought back to earth when Mason was waving at him, telling the pair to come again soon. Morgan managed some kind of goodbye, and then they were walking again. 

They didn’t turn back in the direction of the apartment, and they didn’t speak again until Y/N stopped outside Raleigh Provisions. “So I need to run inside the grocery store and buy some crushed tomatoes and other ingredients I couldn’t get at the market. Would you mind waiting outside with the peppers while I run in?” Morgan nodded, and Y/N was heading inside the store before his next breath. She was back outside quickly, carrying another one of her reusable bags. “Thanks,” she said, taking her peppers back, “I wouldn’t normally stop in there, because it’s a lot more expensive than going to Target or even Harris Teeter, but I needed to get this stuff quickly. Part of the tastiness of chili is having it sit for a long time, and 4 hours is not nearly enough time.” They began walking in the direction of the apartment again, and Morgan took a second to appreciate the pleasantness of the day. 

“So what should I expect of the cookout tonight?” he asked Y/N. She shrugged. “They’re pretty chill, generally. The guys with kids will usually bring them, and babies will be passed around until they get fussy. Svechy will get the younger kids really riled up, and someone will inevitably get pranked by him and his small army of hellions. Kat will probably get the fire pit in the backyard going, so we’ll have a fire to roast marshmallows in and stuff, someone will probably break out a guitar when everyone gets drunk enough, one of the guys will throw somebody into the pool and then everyone will be jumping in. The usual kind of stuff.” Morgan had to admit that it sounded really nice. Family-like even. “Yeah, it is kinda a family type of atmosphere.” Oops. “Did I say that out loud?” Y/N laughed. “Yeah, you did.” She touched his arm gently. “It’ll be nice. I’m sure it’s been stressful to start with a new team so close to the season, but these guys are great. Don’t be a dickhead, and you’ll fit in fine.” Morgan barked out a laugh at the last sentence, and Y/N joined him pretty quickly. 

He threw an arm around her shoulders as they continued walking, squeezing lightly. “Thanks for being an impromptu hype man, Red Sox.” Y/N elbowed his side gently. “Red Sox?” He nodded. “I haven’t seen you without that hat for more than like 5 minutes since we met. It’s a fitting nickname.” She laughed, nodding. “I’m not questioning the nickname, I was just curious about where it came from.”  

They reached their building as she spoke, and even Morgan’s athletic legs had trouble keeping up with Y/N’s shorter ones as she practically sprinted up the seven flights of stairs to the apartment. He was practically doubled over as she unlocked the door, and he almost collapsed onto the couch as she made her way into the kitchen almost unbothered. “How?” he wheezed at her. “I skate and exercise for a living and I’m dying.” Y/N turned to face him, and he noticed that she was indeed breathing a little heavier than usual. “I’m just wicked out of shape. I’m used to being out of breath. It doesn’t really bother me that much anymore.” Morgan groaned, laying his head back on the cushions. Y/N’s cat Bogey hopped onto his chest, purring loudly and nuzzling his chest. 

“So I have to ask, Red Sox, why Bogey? It’s a strange name for a cat.” Y/N laughed as she continued to pull out everything she needed to cook. “His name is actually Bogaerts. He’s named after Xander Bogaerts, the Red Sox’ shortstop.” She began washing the peppers, throwing them all into a colander before pulling out a knife and cutting board. “He’s one of my favorite Red Sox players. Just a good dude. Also,” she gestured with her knife, “it’s a great name for a cat.” Morgan stared at Y/N as she cooked. She had turned on some music, some kind of old shit his grandparents would probably listen to, and she was dancing around the kitchen as she prepped. Bogey settled onto his chest, shoving his head into the crook of Morgan’s neck with another round of purrs. 

Morgan woke up to Y/N shaking his shoulder. “Hey bud, you might wanna wake up and get ready to go. We’ve gotta leave in ten.” Bogey was no longer settled on his chest, and the chili Y/N had apparently finished while he was sleeping made the entire apartment smell fantastic. “Sorry I passed out on you. I don’t know what happened.” Y/N backed away when she noticed that he was awake, smiling gently. “It probably has something to do with me keeping you up all night, dude. Most people aren’t built to stay up all night.” Morgan stood with a groan, and felt his joints pop as he stretched. That was gonna feel awesome tomorrow. He took a second to look at Y/N, and realized that she had already changed, though it appeared all she had done was put on a bathing suit underneath her dress and exchanged her sneakers for flip flops. “Wear a bathing suit. You’ll regret it if you don’t.” With that Y/N turned, heading into the kitchen presumably to prepare the chili for transport.

Once Morgan was changed and Y/N deemed the chili ready for the drive they headed down to Y/N’s car. Morgan was put in charge of holding the chili, a responsibility he didn’t take lightly. Y/N would probably kill him if he spilled any of it. The trip to Svech and Kat’s house took almost  half an hour. They lived outside the city, in a neighborhood full of very cookie-cutter houses. Y/N noticed Morgan looking, and spoke up before he could ask. “Most neighborhoods down here are like this. I don’t know why, but the whole same-house-different-colors aesthetic is very popular for neighborhoods down here. I grew up in one.” So that answered that question, then. “I prefer the older neighborhoods. Most of the houses are fixer-uppers now, but I’d rather fix up an old house than live in one of these. They aren’t built very well.” 

They pulled up to Svech and Kat’s house as Y/N spoke, and it unsurprisingly looked just like the others. It was slate gray, with white trimming and a lawn that was way too well-manicured for them to be the ones taking care of it. There was a lot of noise coming from the backyard, and Y/N made a beeline for a door in the fence on the side of the house. She had taken the chili from Morgan, so he hurried forward to open the door for her. They were met with kids yelling and adults calling hello, and several very wet noses being shoved into his thighs. Morgan looked down to see three dogs staring up at him, two labs and a german shepard. Their tails were smacking into each other and the fence, and Y/N laughed as she shoved past them. “Jax! Kip! Mel! No!” A small blonde came hurrying over, yanking them back to help Y/N get the chili clear of death by puppies. Kat smiled up at Morgan, nodding her head in the direction of the guys. “They’ve been waiting for you. I think Doug has a beer with your name on it.” Morgan thanked her, heading over the where Hamilton and Svech were arguing about something. 

“No, you idiot, dodgeball was definitely our best.” Hamilton snorted at the younger boy as he spoke, shaking his head vehemently. “The basketball one was the best for sure. I mean seriously buddy, we’re in the college basketball capital of America. Nowhere loves college basketball like Raleigh.” The other guys were shaking their heads at the two, though some were definitely egging them on with other suggestions. Morgan was sucked into the conversation effortlessly, giving his own input without another thought. “I’m gonna have to side with the kid here, captain. The dodgeball one was pretty ingenious.” Hamilton groaned, punching him on the shoulder good-naturedly. “I thought D-partners were supposed to stick together, Mo?” He clutched his chest jokingly. “I’m gonna have to ask Rod to separate us if I can’t trust you.” The other guys laughed, and it felt good to be sucked into the ebb and flow of the conversation so easily. He didn’t feel new; it honestly felt like he was sitting around with Brownie and Fred and the other guys that he’d known for years. 

They talked for hours, and everything that Y/N had said would happen did. People began filtering out around ten, especially those with younger kids or kids who were at home with sitters. By the time the night ended, him and Y/N were the only ones left besides Kat and Svech. Y/N was sitting on Morgan’s shoulders while they battled with Kat and Svech in a game of chicken in the pool, a game in which him and Y/N were dominating. “You know,” Y/N said as she climbed onto his shoulders for another round, “if you pull something holding my ass up I’m not taking the fall for you when Rod goes postal.” Morgan pinched her calf. “Sweetheart you aren’t heavy enough for me to pull anything.” He jumped a few times for proof, and she threw her hands onto his chest in a panic. “Don’t do that!” Morgan laughed, throwing his head back to rest against her stomach. “Told you you weren’t too heavy.”

“Are you two gonna keep flirting all night, or are we gonna play?” Kat was smirking from her perch on Svech’s shoulders, and Morgan wasn’t sure who started stumbling through their words faster, him or Y/N. Kat just lifted an eyebrow and gestured Morgan forward wordlessly. Him and Y/N won that round, and the round after that, and then the last one as well before Kat finally announced that the boys had to travel the next day and they should all really get to sleep. She refused Y/N’s multiple offers to help clean up, and him and Y/N were quickly in her car to drive home, the now-empty pot of chili sitting on the floor at Morgan’s feet. Y/N turned on some kind of musical, blasting the sound way too loud as they began to drive. It took Morgan a second, but then the music sounded familiar. “Is this that Disney movie?” he yelled over the music. “The one with the troll or whatever?” Y/N turned down the song to look at him incredulously. “This is the Hunchback of Notre Dame! He is most definitely not a troll.” She gave Morgan another look before turning her eyes back to the road. 

“They made this album when they wanted to take it to broadway. They had the cast recording done and everything, when Disney told them they weren’t going to give them enough of a budget to have a full choir. You can’t have music with Catholic choir influences like Hunchback does and not have a full choir, so they nixed the plans, but we still have the cast recording. It’s incredible.”

Morgan had to admit that it really was beautiful music, especially with the car stereo Y/N had. They listened to several of the songs as they drove, and Y/N pointed out the different parts that she particularly enjoyed. She sang along badly to every song, and nightly unforgettable car rides were quickly becoming a staple of Morgan’s life in Raleigh.

If the entire season was like this, then maybe everything would be okay. 

[gluestickcherrybum]

Happy Earth Day peeps! ヾ(@°▽°@)ノ

I haven’t written in a while but I wanted to write something for this occasion, and more posts about environmentalism since its something i’m quite passionate about. Coronavirus is pretty much all anyone’s talking about lately. And as a result , our entire way of living has been adjusted due to the outbreak: Staying indoors, washing our hands, and social distancing has become the new normal.

But just because we’re experiencing difficult times doesn’t mean we should lose sight of the bigger picture which is caring for the earth. 

Thinking about sustainability is even more important now because it connects us to the world at a time we’re told to quarantine ourselves. We’re told now more than ever to purchase single-use hand sanitizers, face masks, gloves, and other products. 

Unfortunately, these items will likely end up in landfills, or worse - the environment. Already, face masks are polluting the shores of Hong Kong. Also, people fear reusable items like never before - some businesses flat out refusing reusable mugs, containers and produce bags. While I understand we want to stay healthy, and prevent the spread of the virus, we should still make a conscious effort to think about how our decisions effect the Earth too. So, with this in mind, here’s how to stay zero waste during the coronavirus outbreak.

Why should we care about zero waste right now?

Sustainability probably isn’t on the forefront of anyone’s mind right now, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t still care or talk about it. As I mentioned earlier, thinking about sustainability helps us connect to the world in a time we’re told to bunker down and stay inside. It helps us appreciate things and maybe view the world a little differently. And, as scary and disheartening as all of this is - there is some good news too.

For example, there have been several reports of clearer waters in Venice where fish are now visible. Air pollution has dropped significantly in Italy due to the fact that fewer fossil fuels are being burned from people staying indoors. Even New York, Los Angels, Chicago, Seattle and Atlanta have reported significant drops in air pollution.

I’m well aware these positive changes come at a cost - so they’re bittersweet, at most. However, they can’t be ignored. It would be fantastic if, after the emergency is over, we could remember the beauty we’ve seen reappear in the world and do our best to preserve it.

There’s of course negative news as well, single-use items are being disposed on the daily and ending up littering up our community. Worst part is, these gloves and masks are not biodegradable or good for the environment - they’re made with petroleum. They’re also a health hazard because you can’t exactly pick these items up without worrying you’ll catch something.

That’s why it’s so important to think about sustainability right now. And zero waste does figure into all of that. By remaining zero waste during this time, we’re acting on our commitment to bettering the planet as a whole. 

How can I stay zero waste during the coronavirus outbreak?

Thankfully, there are several ways to make an impact during this time. All hope is far from lost.

Make the most of your food by reducing food waste

In this hard time, the food we eat should be cherished. With so many people struggling to put meals on the table due to job loss, we need to make our food last us. One way we can do this is by cooking with leftovers. For example, if you have some leftover rice and vegetables - make fried rice. Or turn boiled potatoes into mash.You can also get creative and make vegetable stock out of food scraps, turn mushy berries into jam, pickle some fruit. Or getting into some good old composting.

Invest in reusable masks and gloves

During this time, you’ll likely see a ton of people walking around with face masks and gloves on. Most of them are single use too. As I mentioned earlier, lots of face masks and gloves are being littered right now. 

It’s bad enough these items are single use only, they should be disposed of properly. Face masks have already started to wash up on the shores of Hong Kong in addition to other ocean polluters. Yikes.

Cloth masks havent been proven to be as efficient as clinical face masks in filtering the air, but for those who are sick and would like to prevent infection to others, the cotton does aid in catching water droplets from coughing and such. Just make sure to wash them regularly.

Instead of plastic gloves, consider using those reusable rubber gloves that people use to wash dishes sometimes. You can wash them with soap or even boil them to disinfect.

Decluttering

If you haven’t yet read Marie Kondo’s book “The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up”, now’s a good time to get inspired. Time to go through all of your items and find the items that truly “spark joy” and be rid of the rest. Unfortunately during this time, you can’t exactly donate items to thrift shops. More than likely, thrift shops will be closed. However, you can at least set items aside to be donated once all of this is over. If you’re not comfortable waiting that long, you can always try selling it online like on Depop or Carousel.

That said, don’t be afraid to throw certain things out. I know that may seem kind of counterproductive, as I’m advising you to stay zero waste during this crisis.However, I’m fully aware there are some items we hold onto as zero wasters because we hope to keep them out of the landfill as long as possible. Items that are hard to recycle, or we don’t know how to recycle; items we believe we can fix but never get around to fixing; items simply destined for landfill one way or the other.

I know it hurts to let these items go, but you have to. It’s good for your mental health, and for the sake of your home. Remember: There is no such thing as being fully zero waste. We can get very close, but the truth is, our economy is a linear one. And every living creature creates waste of some sort. Now, this doesn’t mean I want you throwing out perfectly good items. Try to find items homes first! See if your friends or family want items you don’t first. Then, if not, seek to donate or sell. But obviously things like clothing tags and junk mail must go.

Invest in reusable period products

At this moment of crisis, with everyone panic buying basic necessities, menstrual pads and tampons are starting to get scarce so much so, you might have a hard time finding those items these days . This might be a good time to try out some sustainable alternatives. Women spend an enormous price in period products throughout their lifetime, so investing in reusables not only keeps a phenomenal amount of waste from landfills, but also saves the time going to the store and a whole lot of money.

Personally i use a menstrual cup (which i might write a whole post about it later), but for the less adventurous there are a good few other choices like reusable cloth pads and period panties (which sounded like a miracle when i first heard about them, but i haven’t seemed to be able to find any sold locally for now)

Heck, invest in reusable anything…

Its not just pads and tampons with reusable counterparts, if you want to get a little advanced in zero waste, try swapping out any disposable items possible, like stainless steel safety razors for plastic ones (ask your granddad), the infamous metal straw for plastic straws, or even things as simple as bar soap for bottled body soap.

Shop for food without the waste

During this time, please only stock up on what you need. You don’t have to hoard food - there’s plenty to go around. There’s more than enough food for everyone. Just take what you need and leave some for others.

To continue shopping sustainably, you can bring your own reusable shopping bags or produce bags (or you can diy some from old pillow cases)

I understand not everyone will be able to shop in bulk during this time for dry goods. So, you should shop as if you have no bulk food options. This means opting for items packaged in paper, cardboard, glass and aluminum.

If you must get something packaged in plastic, get the biggest container you can afford. Smaller plastics especially cling film are harder to or even impossible to recycle. Less than 9% of plastic is actually recycled so the less we consume, the less will likely end up in the landfill or oceans.

And thats all for today’s post, im sorry if its posted a bit later on Earth day than expected. I hope everyone is safe and healthy during these hard times. And if youre a student, i hope the online classes arent as bad as people say (im conveniently on a special leave of absence this semester (see my last post) so i have no idea how its going down) and if youre interested in more tips and tricks in being zero waste, feel free to hit me up and maybe ill write more posts like these. Thanks for reading ヽ(*・ω・)ﾉ

[bennyboyjones]

The Getaway (Ben Hardy Fanfic) Chapter Three

A/N: Hi! So, here is chapter 3 to my Ben Hardy AU Fanfic! There are currently several chapters written, which you can find on Wattpad, but I’ve decided to also upload it here as well. It might be a bit behind, but you’ll still get all the chaps eventually.

What it is: basically, a girl from a small town who is bored of her life decides to take a trip to Nice where she runs into ben, who is also running away from some shit and some romance ensues.

Word count: 3.9k

in this chapter: FLIRTING AND MAYBE A DATE?

WATTPAD LINK IF YOU WANT TO READ AHEAD

Spotify playlist

In case you missed it: MASTERLIST

here we go:

day three

I woke up thinking about him, the same way I had yesterday. I had a feeling it would last all day and I would spend every moment looking for his face or the back of his head because that’s what had consumed me the day before. The difference was that today I would actually call him.

Yesterday would’ve been too soon and I was afraid of looking too eager or desperate. I was so out of practice when it came to meeting someone new that I didn’t really know what the proper etiquette was or how long was too long or too short when you’re expected to call someone. I had managed to talk myself out of basing my decision off late 90s and early 2000s rom-coms because the three day rule seemed way too long as I was already slightly impatient to talk to him again; and I was worried that if I waited too long he could potentially meet someone else or take my lack of eagerness as a sign I wasn’t into him—which could’ve been potentially devastating.

I also spent yesterday trying to grip back onto my sanity. I spent my day at the beach, laying on the rocks, trying to get some sort of tan and attempting to convince myself that I wasn’t that into Ben. Rationally, I couldn’t be; I had met him once, talked to him once, and that was under the influence of alcohol. I had been with a guy for years and didn’t remember feeling like this, which made me really think about what I was doing with Liam for so long when I could’ve been feeling like this with someone else.

I called my mom that afternoon and expressed all of this to her; I told her that I thought I really liked him, which was insanity because I didn’t even know him, how I felt like a hormonal fourteen-year-old who was experiencing a crush for the first time and slightly desperate.

“You’re not desperate, honey,” she assured me, “you’ve just been stuck with dead weight for far too long. This is the first romantic experience you’ve had in a long time.”

I sighed, knowing she was right. There had been nothing romantic about my relationship with Liam, at least not for the past year and a half. It was kind of sad, now that I looked back on it. Even the sex was slightly platonic and I couldn’t believe I had let it go on for so long. “When should I call him?”

“Tomorrow. He’ll have gone a whole day thinking about you, wondering if you’re going to call. It’s good to leave them hanging for a bit.”

So I took her advice and waited until today. My plan was to call right after I woke up, that way there were plenty of opportunities for us to meet up: breakfast, a day at the beach, a walk, lunch, dinner.

I pulled my phone off the charger and dialed the super long number—I assumed it was a U.K number because there were way too many digits for it to be American and I couldn’t see the point in him getting a French number for only a few weeks.

I clutched it close to my ear and waited for it to ring, but it didn’t. Instead, there were several loud beeping noises and an automated voice telling me that this number was out of service. I felt my heart plummet into the pit of my stomach as the embarrassment flooded my cheeks.

He gave me a fake number, an out of service number. I sat on the edge of my bed with both my phone and the piece of paper in my hands, my eyes moving between the two. A fake number. I was so into this guy, with his charming smile and gorgeous eyes and great laugh and he, apparently, wasn’t into me at all. Did I read the whole situation wrong? I couldn’t wrap my brain around the idea that he would buy me a glass and then ask me to have a drink and then went so far as to settle for a coffee and talk to me for almost an hour, all without being the least bit interested in me. It made no sense.

I tried the number again, this time being super careful about punching in the numbers, making sure I didn’t miss one. Again, the same voice told me the number was out of service. Well, that was tragically disappointing.

As much as I didn’t want it to, the disappointment had ruined my mood. I no longer wanted to explore or sit in the sun or even stuff my face with pastries. All I wanted to do was wallow and, in my favor, it was raining. I could’ve just thrown on a rain jacket or grabbed an umbrella and still have done something fun today, but I didn’t. Instead, I stayed in my oversized QUEEN t-shirt I had worn to bed, made a coffee and sat on the floor in front of doors to the balcony and watched the rain.

I felt slightly melodramatic; this wasn’t some huge heartbreak. I even felt a little guilty for feeling this let down over a guy I didn’t even know when I barely mourned the final ending of a two and a half year relationship.

Despite the guilt, I found myself wondering what Ben could be doing, if he felt bad about giving me a fake number, if he had thought about me at all. I perked up when I realized there was a possibility that hadn’t crossed my mind: he made a mistake. He could’ve written the wrong number down; some people have two phones, I rationalized. They often have one for work and one for personal use. Maybe he gave me his work phone by accident! Then it would make sense why it was out of service because he doesn’t work there anymore and therefore would no longer need the phone or the number. I wondered if he realized his mistake and if he was disappointed that I couldn’t call him or if he was hoping to run into me again to make it right.

I knew that even the joy this new theory brought me was overdramatic; I was being so silly, acting as if I had never liked a guy before, as if this was the first person to ever take interest in me—like a complete amateur, pining over a guy who probably didn’t even really care about my existence, but if felt good. It was fun to be this emotional and it was something I hadn’t done in years. Well, I did it a little in London when I had small crushes on cute boys I had met at pubs but I never let myself fall into a feelings hole this deep; I was still technically in a relationship and refused to cross the line physically or emotionally. But now, there was no line to cross and I was free to feel as dramatically as I pleased.

I thought about going out and looking for him but quickly shot my own idea down because searching for him meant aimlessly walking around for hours with no real idea of where he could be. It would have been a major waste of my time, but so was sitting on the floor watching water fall from the sky.

I got ready in a rush; threw on a ‘The 1975’ tee, black jeans and my clear raincoat, didn’t bother with any makeup and left my hair in their natural waves, tucking my bangs behind my ears since they weren’t styled. I threw on my white sneakers, grabbed my umbrella and shoved my wallet into my back pocket before leaving the warmth of the AirBnB.

I wasn’t going to look for him. I was going cafe-hopping since there was nothing better to do on a day as miserable as this. I was going to fill myself to the brim with caffeine and pastries and if I just so happened to run into Ben then so be it (and if I didn’t, I was sure I’d have to find a way to derail another melodramatic sit down but I’d worry about that later).

It was five cafés later and so far, I had no luck. My hands were already shaking from caffeine overload when I settled into a chair at Brassiere L’Olympia. It was small, on the corner a  block or two from where I was staying. It had a deep red awning with gold trim, a pale yellow front and a large gold doorknob that my hand barely fit around. There was no one else inside and upon my entering, the woman behind the counter called, “No food, only coffee.” I nodded and took a seat all the way at the back of the beige room, right next to the windows that looked out on the street. It was almost evening and the rain was still coming down hard.

I decided this would be my last stop before swinging back to the apartment to grab the two reusable bags I bought and heading to one of the grocery stores. I still hadn’t bought any snacks or foods I could pack for the days I spent at the beach and for the past two nights I suffered at the hands of my midnight snack withdrawals.

I ordered a noisette like I had at the last five spots, feeling myself become slightly nauseous at the idea of downing another but it was only €2.50 and I was fully committed to the cause, despite my growing disappointment. I hadn’t seen Ben, or anyone who had looked like him the entire day and I finally let the hope slip out of me and settled on the idea that he could’ve easily stayed inside today or that he was wherever I was not.

Again, my mind went to him and the way he looked in the dim glow at the restaurant and I tried remembering what his voice sounded like but it was hard.

“We’ve got to stop meeting like this.”

I jumped in my seat, the voice breaking my stare down with the lamppost across the street. When I turned my head to see who it was, I almost started laughing. Just when I had given up, I found him; of course, when I stopped looking.

“Happy to see me?”

“Something like that,” I tried to subdue my smile as I motioned for him to take the seat across from me.

“You didn’t call.” He shrugged off his jacket and put it on the back of his chair before taking a seat.

I spun my cup in a circle on its saucer, not meeting his eyes, “I did, actually. It was out of service.”

He acted surprised, “What?” He pulled his phone out of his pocket and started fiddling with whatever was on his screen.

“It’s okay,” I held up my hand, “You don’t have to make some big show about it. I can take a hint—I mean, I guess I can’t since, you know, I was kind of surprised it wasn’t real. I thought we, I don’t know, got along really well—“ I was slightly nervous and babbling. Sure, I had convinced myself that he made a mistake when he wrote down his number, but what were the actual odds of that? In my mind, they were very very low and the more likely reason the number was out of service was because he intended it to be.

“No, seriously, that can’t be right,” he interrupted me, “you must have done it wrong.”

He read out his phone number and my eyes grew wide.

“Wait, did you say, ‘three’?”

“Yeah, I said, ‘three’. What else could it have been?”

“An eight!” I laughed in relief and pulled the small piece of paper out of my back pocket and placed it on the table in between us. “Look!”

“That is obviously a three. Just admit that you didn’t actually call me and that you’re trying to get out of having to explain yourself.” He threw the paper back on the table and picked my cup up and took a sip.

“Trust me, I called—twice.” After the admission left my mouth I immediately wanted to take it back.

He raised his eyebrows, “Twice? Hm.” He leaned forward in his chair and rested his elbows on the table, crossing his arms, “That makes me feel a bit better about waiting for your call; decreases the damage to my ego.”

“You waited for my call?” I leaned forward, taking on the same position as him.

“Of course I did; I’d be stupid not to.” His eyes never left mine as he brought my cup to his lips the second time. After a moment of us staring at one another, he pointed down to the cup, “I should get you another one of these.” He raised his hand, about to turn around to get the woman’s attention but before I could stop myself I put my hand on his forearm.

“You definitely shouldn’t. I’ve already had five; if I have another I’ll have a heart attack.”

“Five?” He rested his hand on top of mine, “Are you okay?”

“Not really.”

“Your hands were really shaking,” he said while maneuvering the umbrella between us.

“I told you, I had five.”

We were walking with no where to go. Once he saw the state my hands were in, he asked if I was interested in getting dinner and, without hesitation, I said yes. I made the assumption that this was a date, but was too afraid to ask for confirmation. I was slightly aware of the fact that I probably looked like a wet dog, having spent the whole day going in and out of the rain, while he looked like an actual god. His hair was brushed back off of his forehead, he was clean shaven, in dark jeans and a light grey crew neck sweatshirt, an army green raincoat thrown over top. His eyes looked just as they did the other night: sparkling green and clear—I wanted so badly to kiss him. He looked kissable. I was sure I looked like a disaster and with every step, regretted not putting makeup on or doing my hair. One or the other would’ve balanced me out but instead, I could feel both my wavy hair frizzing and my un-mascara-ed lashes drooping down.

I always tried to be one of those girls who preached about not looking good for anyone but herself and believed that a guy should like me for the way I looked without makeup and not just deem me fuck-able when my lips were painted blood red—but, I would be lying if I said I didn’t feel better about myself when I was wearing lipstick or when my lashes were curled or when my hair was done perfectly. I felt prettier and more confident when I looked a certain way and that was my cross to bear.

I could feel the insecurity weighing on me in the way I covered my mouth when I laughed and let my bangs hang slightly over my eyes but I needed to shove it away because that wasn’t the girl he had met in the restaurant. She wasn’t the girl he had asked to have a drink.

“Interested in some crepes?” He pointed at a sign for a small crêperie .

“For dinner?”

“Why not?”

I shrugged, not being able to argue. He held the door open for me and lightly pressed his hand into my back as we walked through the door. We both ordered two; I chose one with lemon and sugar and one with a caramel filling while he went with hazelnut spread for both.

“Surely they have Nutella in the States?” He questioned when I told him I wasn’t big on hazelnut after he offered me a bite of his.

“They do! But I’m not really into it.”

“Not into Nutella? I don’t know if this is going to work out.” He let out a breath as if my dislike of the spread made things between us extremely awkward.

“So there’s something here to work out?” I smirked.

He winked, “Could be.”

I felt my cheeks flush and didn’t know what to say.

The idea of something happening between us made butterflies launch themselves around my stomach. It seemed ridiculous, considering we were complete strangers and anything that started between us couldn’t last; we lived an entire ocean apart. It would never be anything more than a fling and I was more than okay with that. What girl didn’t dream of a fling in Europe? This was a fantasy that was meant to exist solely in easy reading romances, where the girls had lives I lusted over and the boys were described as being so charming and beautiful that they didn’t really exist.

“So,” I started, while he was in the middle of taking a bite, “why advertising?”

He shrugged and finished chewing before answering, “The money, mostly. I had planned on going to school for business and advertising was what I was best at. Also, it was the only bit that allowed a little creativity.”

“If money wasn’t an object, what would you be?”

“An actor,” he broke eye contact with me and his face turned a light shade of pink. “I always wanted to do something like that, be in plays or movies, but financially, it’s not very feasible.”

“I get it. I mean, being a writer isn’t the most financially stable profession either. Do you like advertising?”

He sighed, “At first I did, but not anymore. The hours are long and even if I wanted to try to do something on the side, I can’t. It’s kind of become my entire life.”

“I know the easy answer is to say that you should just quit, but I also know that it’s usually a lot more complicated than that.” I laughed lightly.

“It’s not. I did.” He smiled at my surprised expression.

“You quit?”

“Yeah, that’s kind of why I’m here. I don’t know what to do now.”

“Ah, running away. I’m good at that.”

“Well, cheers to running from our shit.” He raised his glass of water and clinked it against mine. “Want to grab a real drink?”

This time, I didn’t turn him down.

He paid our bill and after I thanked him, we walked out of the crêperie and into the cool air.

We walked close to each other, so close that our arms and fingers brushed against one another with every other step. Each time I felt his fingers swipe against mine, it felt electric, a small tingle shot through my arm and something inside me fluttered. I wondered how long we would let this go on, whether he would move away so we no longer touched or finally grab my hand.

We walked past several bars and restaurants and I started to wonder where exactly it was we were grabbing this drink. “Are we going somewhere in particular?”

“Yeah.” He smiled at me before pushing his fingers through mine and holding my hand.

We walked for the next few minutes in a comfortable silence just enjoying each other’s company. His palm was warm against mine and his fingers were long and his skin wasn’t rough but it wasn’t as soft as mine. Every few steps, he brushed his thumb over my hand reassuringly and I couldn’t stop blushing.

When he stopped, it was in front of a small grocery store.

“Oh.” I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion.

“Disappointed?” He asked as he squeezed my hand.

I shook my head quickly, “No! Just…confused?”

“Come on,” he said before pulling me inside.

He took us straight to the wine section and pulled two coteaux bourguignons off the shelf before moving on to grab some fruit, bread, and cheese. I had figured out what his plan was, slightly worried that we would be taking these things back to wherever he was staying. I admit, I wanted to kiss him, I wanted to do more than that, but technically, this was a first date and I wasn’t about to fuck him after hanging out with him for only the second time.

The last thing he grabbed was garbage bags, and when I gave him very confused and concerned look, he said, “We need something to sit on.” I nodded as if my confusion had completely evaporated with that simple explanation.

After a small argument over who would be paying for the two armfuls of supplies (I wanted to pay because he paid for dinner but he argued that since it was his idea and this was an extension of our first date that he should pay—and frankly, his argument was too good to deny), he lead us towards the promenade and took us down the steps to the rocky beach.

“Is this allowed?” I whispered as we walked over the rocks.

“Probably.” He shrugged.

When he found a spot he liked, he pulled out a plastic garbage bag from the pack and placed it on the ground like a picnic blanket. It was raining anymore, but everything was covered in a thin layer of water. Once he had that set, he took everything out of the bags, one by one, arranging it all a very specific way.

When he caught me staring and trying to stifle a giggle, Ben gestured towards his setup, “I’m just trying to make it as perfect as possible. I’m doing my best!”

“The garbage bag is perfect, I swear! It’s…cute.”

He opened the wine with the opener he bought and poured it into our paper cups and waved at me to take a seat next to him. We opened our snacks and started munching in comfortable silence despite the crepes we had inhaled only an hour before.

It was dark now, the only light coming from the flashlights of our phones we had placed in between us. We could hear the waves lapping against the store but could barely see them. There was a chill in the air, as the breeze was amplified closer to the water and I felt myself shivering slightly. We were sat against the wall of the promenade, hidden away from any on lookers.

“Come here,” he said when he noticed my slight shiver and pulled me into him. We sat with our backs against the wall, his arm around me, looking in the direction of where the water would be if we could see it. His body was hard against mine, signaling to me that I was right about how fit he was and I felt the muscles in his arms flex every time he moved it slightly. He rubbed his hand up and down my arm trying to warm me up as we slowly sipped our wine.

“This would be a lot more romantic if it wasn’t so bloody cold.” He laughed.

I hit him lighting in the stomach with me free hand, “Stop! I think it’s just the right amount of romantic.”

“Hang out with me tomorrow.”

“Was that a question?” I turned my head to him to see that he was already looking at me.

“Not really.” He smiled, “Come on, you know you want to.”

“Fine.” I leveled him with a smile of my own.

[jungshookz]

basketballcaptain!yoongi

→ pairing: min yoongi x reader

→ genre: basketball captain x water girl, cheesy cheesy stuff, the FLUFFIEST fluff, jungoo is an idiot, humour, nSFW = smut, cocky yoongi, spoiler alert yoongi does a body shot off of u it just be like that sometimes 

→ wordcount: 18.4k this will definitely make the app crash as per usual don’t come for me 

→ note: um can we talk about how attractive yoongi is when he spins a basketball on his finger like that,,, anyWays HAPPY DECEMBER (it’s my frickin birthday monTH) this is one day late and it’s almost 3am but i pulled thru and i was like i promised bball yoongi and that’s what i have 2 deliver to my children!! i hope u guys like this!!! pleaSE flood my inbox i love hearing back from y’all <3

pst if u wanna talk to y/n or kook or captain yoongs u know what to do ;-)

(gif isn’t mine!) 

(((and the read more function iS there but most of the time it doesn’t work on mobile :// i am sorry don’t attack me by sending passive-aggressive anon messages)))

somehoW someway jungkook managed to squirm himself into the upperclassmen’s basketball team which not only meant there that was no longer a water-boy but also that because of basketball practice you and kook wouldn’t be able to hang out as much anymore

and he’s used to seeing you every day because you’re his best friend okAy

y’all have been friends since the first day of uni during orientation when he spilt his banana milk all over himself and you immediately rushed over with napkins AND you gave him your chocolate milk instead (ur mom told u to seize all opportunities of friend-making and that was the one you happened to choose)

and you guys spend like all day every day with each other (which surprisingly is not as exhausting as it sounds)

you suffered through freshman fifteen together

you suffered through the blood sweat and tears of midterms and finals

you suffered through many awful frat parties together

the point is you guys have been there for each other through thick and thin since day one and when jungkook realised that basketball practice was going to get in the way of that well

that just won’t do

so naturally he puts two and two together

“i’m sorry, you what????”

“i asked coach and he’s all fine and dandy with having you as my replacement for water-boy. uh… water-girl? water-person… water-girl.” jungkook pops a grape into his mouth and chews thoughtfully “but now we can continue to see each other like evEry day!!!!!”

“kook, i’m not- i’m not going to be the basketball team’s water-girl. what??? how pathetic would that be???”

“hey! don’t insult my old job! you’ll be great!! plus you get extra credit for it and i know how much you love extra credit”

“kook i don’t have TIME to be a water-girl are you kidding me right now like mid-terms are coming up and you know i like preparing ahead of time for mid-terms”

“so study during practice”

“i can’t study surrounded by the sounds of squeaky runners and basketball dribbling!!!! look that was a really nice gesture and it’s really sweet that you wanna spend time with me and stuff but i promise you we’ll still hang out!!! we’ll find a way to-“

“you’ll have an excuse to see min yoongi almost every day.” jungkook points that out casually and you go dead silent

you clear your throat and shift in your seat before popping a fry into your mouth

ah

min yoongi

sit down everyone it’s time for a little story

you’ve had the fattest crush on min yoongi since your freshman year

the moment he sat down next to you during your history lecture (there were no other seats lol) you fell in love

he asked you for a pencil and you immediately gave him yours and he gave you this cute lil smile and head tilt and was like well what are you going to write with now sweetheart

you pull out another polka-dotted patterned pencil from your pencil case almost too enthusiastically and yoongi’s like haha alright then

you remember he had mint-green hair the first time you met him and your bad boy radar started tingling and your brain was just like YA HE’S RLY HOT WE LIKE HIM

he has silver?? or bleached?? hair now which honestly makes you feel hot just thinking about it because mM he looks so fuckign attractive with silver hair

anyways he spent the entire term sitting next to you

the two of you talked sometimes but you were always too shy to like keep the conversation going

in fact the only time you talked to yoongi was when you guys were in class

you saw him outside of class once and waved at him but he kinda just looked at you and then looked back at his friends and you were like okay big yikes never doing that again

but later in class he was like omg sorry i didn’t wave back at you i didn’t recognise ur face

and you immediately forgave him because thaT’s how much you adored min yoongi

but of course

all good things must come to an end

the next term you didn’t have any classes with him

or the next

or the next

and now you’re in your third year and yoongi’s in his final year

and you still have your not so teeny-weeny crush on him even though you haven’t spoken to him since your first year here which is honestly so dumb but like the heart wants what it wants or whatever

you clear your throat and twirl a fry in between your fingers before dipping it in ketchup

the fact that you haven’t put it in your mouth yet is an indicator that you are deep in thought

and jungkook’s like c’mon…… c’mon baby……. so close…….

“i mean…. i could always use the extra credit”

HOOK LINE AND SINKER BABY

jungkook has to contain his shriek of excitement and instead he nods quickly and is like cool cool i’ll tell coach

when jungkook hands you a pair of gym shorts and a grimy looking white t-shirt you immediately start regretting your decision

but you suck it up because you’re a Big Boi and you know what jungkook’s right!! it’s a good way to spend time together and doing this can spice up your resumé or whatever and show that you too can be a sporty person lol

“so like do i just have to… hand out bottles of water” you reach down and tug at the knee high socks before sitting down on the creaky wooden bench and crossing your legs

this is probably one of the only times you’ve ever been on the basketball court let alone the sports centre

“well..,.,.,” jungkook pauses and then smiles sheepishly “you also have to hand out towels and then you have to wash the jerseys after practice aNd the towels and technically we don’t do the plastic water bottle thing anymore because of the environment so instead we use reusable cups and all that so instead you’ll have to fill up a huge jug of ice water before every practice and every game and the water refill station is like by the football field which is a ten minute walk from here so then you’ll have to lug it over and you can’t be late or else coach will-“

“i’m going to kill you.” the next thing he knows you’re suddenly launching off the bench and towards him and you end up chasing him around the basketball court multiple times but of course you never catch him because he’s a speedy boi “i’M GOING TO KILL YOU”

“I’M SORRY THAT I JUST WANT TO SPEND MORE TIME WITH YOU” jungkook screams in reply and he feels the whoosh of a basketball hurtling past his head

all of a sudden the two of you hear the blast of a whistle and jungkook immediately stops and you end up slamming right into his back

the next thing you know you’re staring up at the ceiling and there are cartoon birds circling your head

jungkook yanks you back up to your feet quickly and you have to lean against him and grip onto his arm to stop yourself from toppling to the ground

when did his back get so hard and muscly

“don’t make me regret recruiting you onto the team, jeon” coach bang raises a brow at jungkook and jungkook smiles sheepishly “you must be y/n! our new water girl.”

you clear your throat and adjust your glasses (that u should’ve taken oFF in case u get whacked in the face by a ball) before nodding quickly “yes! yep, um, that’s me. thank you for… letting me… hydrate… the team”

what the fuck

what the hell was that

lol okay moving on

“i’m sure jungkook’s already told you all about the basics and what you have to do - i’ll go over it with you after practice today in case jungkook missed anything.”

“so like- what am i supposed to do during practice? like… do i just sit on the bench and-“

“yep! you can always bring your books in to study if you’d like. it’s kind of just like a free period for you, think about it like that. aLRIGHT BOYS HUDDLE UP” you jump like ten feet into the air when coach bang blows his whistle and you immediately head over to the bench

jungkook grins and waves at you from where the boys are and you scowl and roll your eyes

you love him but sometimes he kinda irritating u know

the doors to the gym swing open and someone runs in

“i’m here! i’m here, i’m not late!”

oh

oh

you recognise that bleached head of hair

it’s like he’s running in slow motion

oh god

he’s so beautiful

“not as late as you usually are, min. good job!”

you feel your heart skip a beat at the sight of min yoongi jogging into the gym and huddling up with the rest of the guys

“sorry, coach! you know how it is sometimes”

“… i really don’t. okay, so-“

god he looks good wearing a bandana

you look down at your outfit and immediately cringe

there is nO way in hell you’re going to let min yoongi see you wearing this

the gym shorts luckily are for girls so they’re not too bad but this shIRT…,.,, sweeTIe

you roll up the sleeves and tie the shirt into a little knot

a cute lil crop top

a sweaty cute lil crop top with questionable stains on it

okay

okay you can work with this

you look up and catch a couple of the guys looking over at you and you immediately go bright red

yoongi tilts his head and smiles and you’re like okAY let me pretend like i’m doing work!!!!!

practice goes by pretty smoothly

a couple times the ball goes out of bounds and rolls over to you and kook is always the one to come and get it

finally

finALLY you have something to do

you start filling up cups of water and handing them out to all the grabby hands

one of the guys sighs and dumps the cup of water over his head and you resist the urge to strangle him because he totally just waSTED WATER that you TREKKED all the way to the other side of the school for

“here you gooOO” you clear your throat and look away bashfully when yoongi heads over and reaches for the cup in your hand

he thanks you quietly before chugging it down

yoongi crushes the paper cup in his hand and tosses it into the recycling bin and that’s not supposed to be attractive but somehow he makes it look attractive

meanwhile jungkook’s basically lying underneath the water dispenser letting the water run into his mouth and you’re about to slap him and stop him from being such a water buffalo but you feel a gentle tap on your shoulder

“don’t i know you from somewhere?” yoongi asks and purses his lips and you find that heat rises to your cheeks again

oh

he doesn’t  

he doesn’t remember you

well like

he remembers YOU (kinda) he just doesn’t remember your name

okay that’s fine like it’s not as bad as it could be

that’s cool whatever

“i’m, um, i’m y/n! yeah. i’m… i’m y/n.” you clear your throat and you feel your cheeks heat up because what kind of an introduction was that

“y/n…” yoongi pauses and squints his eyes a little before they pop wide open “y/n! polka-dot pencil girl?”

“…yep, polka-dot pencil girl!” you chuckle awkwardly and scratch the back of your neck before you point to the jug of water “water-girl now. i’ve, uh, i’ve levelled up”

yoongi laughs and tilts his head and GOD his smile is adorable “well it’s good to have you on the team!”

before you get a chance to say something back coach bang tells the boys to hit the showers because they all stANK

actually it’s a good thing yoongi had to leave because you did not know where to go with that conversation

socializing is exhausting honestly

“alright, y/n - now we get to the best part of your job.” coach bang pats your back a couple times before pointing to the laundry cart

…son of a bitch

“get in there, soldier!”

you groan quietly and feel your soul leave your body

oh good god

boys are shameless and that’s the tea sis

you have to calm yourself because you’re about to wheel a laundry basket into the men’s locker room and there are going to be shirtless guys everywhere and you know what you’re probably going to see a pee-pee or two but no one told u life was gonna be this way (clap clap clap clap)  

this is like a dream and a nightmare combined

you hear wolf-whistles as you enter the locker rooms and you keep your head down as you wheel the laundry cart through

fuCK this is so awkward

you go to class with most of these guys and they’re literally all half naked right now

whOOp that’s a butt you just looked directly into someone’s ass cheeks

ur going to kill jungkook for forcing u to take this job

you can’t help but sigh a breath of relief when you see jungkook’s familiar face

“heads up!” you squeak when jungkook suddenly YEETs his uniform into the cart

“don’t throw your shit at me!!” you scowl and pick up a sock that didn’t make the tough journey into the cart

“here you go, y/n!” namjoon hands you his (folded) uniform and you smile

namjoon is so sweet and nice

…why is he friends with jungkook lol

“get oFF of mE you sweaty freak” you scowl when jungkook wraps his arms around you in a back hug and nuzzles his gross sticky face against your neck

“isn’t this great?? we get to spend so much time together now!” jungkook grins and you manage to wriggle out of his grip and head back to the cart

“if by great you mean absolutely torturous then ye-“ you gasp when you bump into someone hArd and fall back on your bum and suddenly you’re staring up at the ceiling lights

“oh my god - are you okay??” you sit up quickly and-

NO

YOU ARE NOT GOOD

A HALF NAKED MIN YOONGI IS STANDING OVER YOU RIGHT NOW

he has his uniform balled up under his arm and he only has a towel wrapped around his waist and goD his body is glistening from his shower and he smells like vanilla

he’s not like jungkook the muscle pig but he’s still pretty fit and you see the faint outlines of his abs and his v-line and wOw you need to stop ogling him right now

the voice in the back of your mind reminds you that yoongi is very very naked underneath his towel

he holds his hand out for you to take but you shake your head quickly

“i’m- yep, i’m great. i’m fine. i need your shorts. to wash.” you clear your throat and hop back up onto your feet before standing behind the cart and clutching onto the rail

“… just my shorts?” he smiles and raises a brow

“and your top. both of them. all of it.”

girl

GET  A GRIP

what is wrONG WITH U  

yoongi smiles and tosses his uniform into the cart before moving past you to his locker

you scowl at jungkook when he grins and wiggles his eyebrows at you

you resist the urge to grab a handful of sweaty shorts and dump it over his head

“so,,,, you think you’re going to shoot your shot with yoongi?” jungkook hums and pokes your hand with his pencil

“i’m only doing this for the extra credit.”

“uh-huh, yeah, for sure!” jungkook sighs and leans back against the chair

you let out a sigh when you feel his gaze on you

“i’m not going to shoot my shot with yoongi.”

“no, no. i believe you!”

you look up from your notebook

“i’m serious!!!!”

jungkook purses his lips and shrugs “….uh-huh.”

okay

so it’s been about two-ish weeks since you started working as the water-girl

so far things have been pretty good pretty gucci

you’ve become a well-oiled machine when it comes to handing out cups of water and dodging sweaty pieces of uniform that are thrown at you instead of the cart

coach bang thinks you’re doing a greAt job even though your job requires like zero skills but you know what you’ll take whatever compliment you can GeT

and now it’s lead up to this

the first game of the season

the boys have been practicing pretty hard and you’ve been to every single practice session so u knoW that they know what they’re doing

first game of the season!! which is always exciting

you’ve never been excited about it before

as mentioned previously you are noT a sports person

but jungkook’s on the team now and you wanna support him

and also you need an excuse to stare at min yoongi for as long as you want without coming off as completely creepy

and aLso you’re the water girl so you kinda have to be there regardless of you wanting to be there or not

you grunt as you set down the barrel of water

you’re definitely going to get swoLE after this because dis shit is so heavy

you sigh and look down at your little setup

water? check

ice? check

first aid kit? double check

something’s missing

oh frick u forgot the cups

and you can’t have kook drinking straight out of the barrel that would not be ideal

you cringe thinking of how gross and germy that would be

so you head to the back to grab the box of cups

and as you make your back to the bench to join coach bang you’re suddenly swATTEd in the face by a pom pom

“jesus-“ you sputter and blink quickly

“oh my goodness, i’m so sorry! i didn’t see you there, hun!” the cheerleader grins at you before going back into her routine “woo, go team!”

you haven’t really spoken to the cheerleaders before

you’ve seen them practice outside on the courtyard but they never come into the gym

you know some of their names tho

lisa of course is the head cheerleader

who else do you know

lisa’s in your english lecture

there’s rose

wendy

most of them are really nice!!!

you like cheerleaders but u don’t know how they’re so peppy all the time

at one point you considered trying out for the team but then you saw them doing that thing that they do when they lift one girl into the air and the girl in the air has to balance on one leg and hold up an arm with a hand on her hip and then they DROP HER AND CATCH HER aNd the poor girl has to do aLL of that while maintaining a megawatt smile on her face

so then you were like lol perhaps not

not to mention

you would be the grumpiest cheerleader alive

there’s no way you’d be able to smile through like a 10 minute routine

and you have to constantly cheEr the team on like sure you’ll whoop once or twice but more than that is a wee bit excessive

anyways the game’s going pretty good so far?? the home team is a couple points ahead of the opposing team so you’re pretty sure the guys have this game in the bag you’re not too worried

coach bang literally doesn’t care like he’s playing tetris on his phone right now

basketball isn’t typically thought of as a sexy sport in ur humble opinion but daMn min yoongi definitely made basketball his BITCH

every single shot he’s made has been flawless

it just swooshes right into the hoop

doesn’t even hit the rim of the hoop or anything it just glides right in

he weaves in and out between people so effortlessly

also when his tongue flicks out to lick over his bottom lip

and hello??? sweaty yoongi???? running a hand through his hair and adjusting his bandana

YES daddy

oh my god and his HANDS

his hands are so attractive

long fingers

veiny

trimmed fingernails

this is a very creepy description of his hands but

is it weird that you find his hands sexy

he just has…. manly hands

the way he grips the ball is just *italian chef kiss*  

and when he spins the ball on one finger casually while talking to the team about strategies and techniques during the short break

mMPH

thank god you’re the water girl because u r thirsty af right now

you spend the whole game practically drooling over yoongi you don’t even notice when jungkook score the winning shot

jungkook sprinTS to you immediately after he’s done freaking out with the boys

“DID U SEE IT DID U SEE ME I JUST SCORED THE WINNING SHOT” he yanks you up off the bench and you instinctively start bouncing up and down with him

it’s not a real friendship if there aren’t little white lies sprinkled in every now and then am i right ladies

“……OF COURSE I SAW THE WINNING SHOT I’M SO PROUD OF U” you squeal in glee and jungkook falls for it duH because ur a good actress

he moves past you to get some water

“hey look at you!! you had all the cups filled and ready to go”

“y/n” yoongi greets you and you immediately turn into timid quiet y/n again

“hi yoongi” you automatically offer him a cup of water and he takes it graciously

he downs the whole cup in one go and you watch his adam’s apple bob as he sloRPS it all down

he crushes the paper cup in his hand before shooting it into the recycling bin

f u C K THAT WAS RLY HOT

“cute shirt” yoongi’s eyes look you up and down before he smirks and tilts his head “i-“

“yoongi! you did such a good job out there!” yoongi turns around and you look over his shoulder to see lisa bouncing over to him

hm

he turns to face her and she gives him a tight hug and you’re like lmao okay yEET this is awkward what do i do  

so you turn back to face kook and yank him away from the barrel of water

“if you even think about opening the lid of the barrel and shoving your face into the water i will slaughter you”

“y/n, cOMe on” jungkkok groans and flops down and squishes his cheek against the table

“shush, kook. we’re in the library” you hiss and pinch his ear before turning your attention back to your laptop

“please?? it’s going to be so fun!!!”

“iiiiiii don’t know” you mutter and scratch the back of your neck “you know parties aren’t really my thing n u always go off with ur teammates anyway so i don’t wanna-“

“yoongi’ll definitely be there”

you scoff and give him a pointed look

“don’t you dare play that card again”

“c’mON PLEAse it’s going to be so fun!!!! we’re celebrating a win!!!!! you’re part of the team!!!”

it takes everything within you not to burst out laughing

you?? part of the team??

all you do is hydrate some thirsty bois and then wash their nasty ass uniforms like how is that being part of the team

“look, just come for like an hour. if you don’t like it, i’ll take you back home and we can watch movies and gorge on ice cream and pizza.” jungkook pouts and steals another one of your animal crackers and pops it into his mouth “pleaaaaaaaas-“

“no.”

“pLeaAAAAAAAAA-“ you lean over and clamp a hand over jungkook’s mouth when people start to stare at the two of you

“will you cut it out?” you sigh and sit back down on the bench “i’m not-“

“…PLEAAASSAASASSAEASAEZA-“

“aLRIGHT alright! finE!” you scowl and swat jungkook’s hands away when it finds its way back to your baggie of animal crackers  

he smiles that bunny smile at you when you glare at him for pulling you into going to this damn party

long story short: you should’ve stayed home tonight

you’ve been here for about an hour and a half

you’re nursing your second cup of god-knows-what’s-in-here fruit punch (jimin made it) so you’re feeling it a liTTle but it’s not too bad ?? you think

you’ve stuck to kook’s side the whole night because lol where else would you be

and jungkook said he wasn’t going to go crazy tonight but you knew that promise would be broken the moment you guys stepped into the house and he was like yO BRO WHAT’S UP BRO LET’S GO BRO

so now jungkook is drunk off his ass and you’re figuring out how the hell you’re going to survive the night with a drunk jungkook

it’s loud in here

you can feel the bass of the song in your ASS that’s how loud the music is (ew)

people are pushing you around and they’re all sweaty and you’ve gotten stepped on plenty of times

your poor pinky toe is all numb

the only source of lights are fairy lights strung up around the rooms which is awful for your eyes like your vision already sucks you NEED proper lighting

how come they’re only playing drake songs??? there are other artists that exist besides drAKE

kiki i know you love me sweetie but you gotta get outta here

you for one would love to hear some one direction songs blast over the speakers am i right ladies

now thAT would hype you up big time

and on top of thAt you haven’t even seen yoongi yet so you’re pretty sure you dressed up for nOTHING

you’re wearing a plain black tank top tucked into a cute checkered skirt and you have a sensible cardigan over the outfit

((it’s a very cute outfit 10/10)) (((a little sensible for a house party but it’s okay honey you can try again next time)))

“oKay you know i think we’ve had enough for the night!” you grab the bottle of vodka from jungkook and put it down on the counter before grabbing his wrist and tugging on it gently “how about we get you to a nice, comfy bed? you can snooze for an hour and i’ll wake you up and you can come back to my place and-“

“bODY SHOTS” you hear the smash of glass in the distance and jump in surprise and the moment jungkook hears ‘body shots’ he wriggles out of your grip and heads towards where everyone is

“jung-“ you squeak when jungkook suddenly turns back and grabs you before swinging you over his shoulder “jeON JUNGKOOK NO”

“BODY SHOTS” jungkook laughs loudly and “y/N Do some body shots with mE!!!!”

all of a sudden you’re being plopped down on the edge of the kitchen counter with a whole crowD of people around the two of you

you blink quickly because the room is kind of spinning from how fast jungkook put you down

there are already a line of girls waiting patiently next to jungkook and you groan in frustration when jungkook lifts his shirt up over his head and tosses it somewhere into the crowd of eager girls before hopping up onto the counter as well

you’re going to have to go and ask the girls for his shirt back later and you know you gon have to fight the ladies to get it back

“step on up, ladies and gents!” jimin cheers and hands both you and kook a wedge of lime before handing a shot to the first girl in line for kook

“jimin, get someone else up here because i’m not about to have a complete stranger-“

“we got anyone for water girl, hm?”

everyone whoops and you freeze

you’re surprised at the reaction that that question got and your cheeks flare up immediately and you try to hand the wedge of lime back to jimin

“jimin, i really don’t-“

“-i’ll do it.” you turn your head when you feel someone standing in front of you and your heart drops to your stomach when you see yoOngi standing before you with a smirk

his eyes are kind of glazed over so you know he been drankin but godDamn the way he’s looking at you makes you feel some kinda way

“you sure you don’t wanna play?” jimin looks at you with a twinkle in his eye and you clear your throat before scratching your elbow

“i mean i guess i could play one round”

“that’s what i thought” jimin coos and pinches your cheek and you scowl at him “alright, captain!” yoongi gets a couple pats on the back from jimin before jimin hands him a shot of tequila

“hey, but like, for real, you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to” jimin mutters in your ear as he prepares the salt

you shake your head quickly “no, it’s fine! i’ll be fine”

college experience and all that jazz

and also min yoongi experience and all that jazz

jimin sprinkles salt,,, basically all over jungkook’s abs and the girls go crazy and you immediately look down at yourself because whERE is jimin going to sprinkle salt on you??? you don’t want people looking at your tummy!!! or your stripey purple bra!!!!!!!

jimin can see that you’re about to explode so he decides to take it easy on you lol

instead of lying you down and sprinkling salt on your chest or your tummy he sprinkles salt on the back of yoongi’s hand instead

“this is y/n’s first time, we don’t wanna overwhelm her” jimin winks and you clear your throat and avoid yoongi’s gaze

yoongi reaches forward and grabs your hand that’s holding the lime and pulls it up a little “hold that nice n steady for me, angel” yoongi purrs and steps closer til he’s standing in between y ou r legs

[sweating intensifies]

oh god

oh god

you just have to bend down a little and you’d be kissing yoongi

that’s great that’s wonderful we’re cool we’re super cool

“alright, on the count of three-“ jimin holds up the timer “one, two… three-!”

you watch as yoongi licks the line of salt off the back of his hand anD then downs the shot (and his nose scrunches very adorably from the burn of the alcohol) and then he’s leaning forward and taking the lime in between your fingers with his mouth and suCking on it while he has one hand wrapped around your wrist and the other one casually resting on your knee and he is defINITELY staring up at you right now

you can feel his grip burning from where he’s holding you and woW it’s getting hot in here hOo someone needs to open a window

your lips part and you feel the heat rising to your cheeks when yoongi’s right eye drops in a wink before he takes the completely sucKED out lime from you and tosses it into the bin

you hear everyone break into cheers and you get snapped out of your daze a little bit

“good job, water girl” yoongi smirks and pats your knee before turning and disappearing into his group of bros and whAT JUST HAPPENED

“wOO BODY SHOTS” jungkook screams and you look over to see like four different girls on him “there’s plenty of me to goOo aROUNddDD ladiezzZzzzzz”  

“oh jesus- alright, aLRIGHT that’s enouGH ladies!!!!” you hop off the counter and swat them away like flies before grabbing jungkook and yanking him off the counter

after you finally tuck jungkook into (your) bed (u forced him to take a shower aNd brush his teeth and he has spare clothes for when he crashes at ur place) you plop down on the couch and just sit in complete silence

what happened tonight

you went to a party

didn’t do anything for like two hours

next thing you know min yoongi is sucking a lime wedge from your fingers and looking at you like he wants to devour you

were you slightly turned on? yes

wig? snatched

do you want him to do it again? yes

hotel? trivago

did your technique of repressing feelings work? absolutely not because you definitely have a crush on min yoongi once again

jesUs

you groan and roll your eyes before flopping your head backwards against the couch

having feelings is just so exhausting

and then you have to go through the effort of making sure you look extra good everyday in case you bump into yoongi

u know what

no

you don’t have feelings for yoongi

you know what he’s like

you’ve ~gathered information~ on him

you know he hooks up with plenty of girls and you heard he had a thing with lisa for a bit

you know he’s a very casual spontaneous kinda dude and he probably isn’t looking for anything serious right now BUT if he weRe looking for something well sweetie your shop is wiDe open 24/7 just for him

ok ew calm down

okay

this is just like the first time you realised you like yoongi

just suppress it and don’t address it

“suppress it don’t address it” you whisper to yourself before settling down against the couch and pulling the throw blanket up and over yourself

you sigh and close your eyes

yeah

you’ll be fine

you wake up the next morning in a cold sweat because u definitely had a rated R dream involving a certain captain of the basketball team

you compose yourself and snap out of it before deciding it’d probably be a good idea to wipe your crusty makeup off and change out of last night’s clothes

maybe even take a shower and wash all remnants of yoongi off of u (even tho u don’t wANT to)

frick

you’re already falling down the rabbit hole u might as well just accept it

“i’m staying over again i can’t be bothered to go back to my place” you jump like ten feet into the air when jungkook speaks up and that’s when you realise he’s sitting on the ground playing video games on the TV

jeSus

“how are you feeling?” you tie your damp hair up and plop down on the couch

“fine! thanks for leaving the painkillers and water for me” jungkook glances at you briefly over his shoulder and raises a brow “you okay? you look a little pale”

“i’m fine! i just, um, i’m fine.” you clear your throat before sliding off the couch and joining kook on the floor “now hand me a controller because i’m about to beat your ass at mario kart”

“y/n! we have a little surprise for youUuUu” you stand up and turn your attention away from the water dispenser to see kook and a couple of the other boys heading towards you with a box

“what’s this?” you look up and kook and he just grins and gestures for you to open up the box

you sit down on the bench and start pulling at the neatly tied ribbon

you pull out a red cardigan and raise a brow

it has a little basketball patch on the right and on the left is a patch of a cup of wATER

“it’s your varsity… cardigan!”

“we were going to get the varsity jacket for you but they were too expensive so we settled for this”

wow

same tho

“since you’re the official water girl now, the guys and i thought maybe this would be a fun way to welcome you onto the team officially” jungkook nudges your side “look at the back!!!!”

you flip the cardigan over and your heart warms at the sight of your last name stitched onto the back

judging by the stitching work jungkook definitely did this for you

“you got me a water girl cardigan?” you snort

“we made you a water girl cardigan! which makes it ten times more special”

“it’s cuTe tho right??” jin slides in next to you “i chose the patches”

“it’s very cute” you laugh and put it on “and very comfortable!”

“and it matches our varsity jackets!!” namjoon points out “put it on!!” you slide it on and woW this is very comfortable you are never taking this off you are wearing this to your graVE

“oh, cute!!!” you stand up and twist and turn a little and you notice the little elbow patches that are stitched to look like bASKETBALLS

“hey, what’s going on here?”

“oh! um, hi! hey, hello” you smile shyly and yoongi swears he could explode right there because that was adorable heLLO

“cute cardigan” yoongi hums and looks you up and down and you smile excitedly and look down at it

“thank you! i-“

“boys, huddle up!” yoongi scrunches his nose

every time he starts talking to you someone else is like SIKE

you sit down on the bench and smile at yoongi when he gives you a little wave

and you try to ignore the feeling of your heart going ddu ddu ddu  

jungkook might’ve (definitely) let it slip that you (definitely) have a thing for yoongi

not to yoongi of course lol he’s not thAt bad

one day jungkook is the only one who knows about your not so teeny crush and the next thing you know half the damn team knows about it

but you threatened each of them and said if they ever told yoongi you would put itching powder in their shorts

that doesn’t stop them from constantly teasing you though

“how come yoongi always gets a full cup of water and i always get a half-full cup of water??”

jungkook whines and you smack his arm lightly

“yeah, i want the yoongi treatment too!” jin chimes in and you swat at him when he starts laughing

your cheeks flame up when you see yoongi hiding a smile behind his cup of water while he’s wiping some sweat off his forehead

“you guys suck” you mutter and whip jungkook with a towel when he coos and makes kissy faces at you

you’re in the middle of handing clean uniforms back to the boys when the first inevitable comment comes up

“y/n, yoongi’s jersey feels so much softer than mine! how come yoongi gets all the fabric softener??” jimin pouts and rubs yoongi’s shorts against his cheek and u snaTCh it away from him and fold it back neatly

“it’s because she likes him better than us” jungkook smirks while towel-drying his hair

“all of your uniforms go into the saMe batch you duMMy” you grumble and shove jungkook’s uniform into his chest

“…she didn’t deny it” jungkook mutters lowly and the boys are like yA man ur right she’s so whipped for yoongi lol

you glare at all of them and shake your he-

“anything for me?” you immediately perk up at the sound of what has become your favourite voice

you turn around and see yoongi (you’ve gotten used to seeing him half-naked with just a towel wrapped around his waist but it still gets your heart racing) and you grin before handing him his freshly-ironed, neatly-folded uniform

“my uniform wasn’t ironed” hoseok mutters and nudges jungkook

“i’m telling you, it’s the yoongi treatment!”

“y/n, lemme help you!” you turn to look over your shoulder when you hear yoongi

he jogs up behind you and before you get a chance to say you’re fine he grabs the barrel of water effortlessly

you get a quick glimpse of his biceps flexing and you’re like o h……. sweet baby jesus have mercy

“i could’ve handled that myself, you know” you joke and open the door for yoongi

“i know. i was just being the gentleman that i am.” yoongi winks at you and you snort and roll your eyes

“why are you here so early? practice doesn’t start for like-“ you push your sleeve up a little and look down at your watch “another forty minutes or so”

“i know but i didn’t have anything to do. i was going to go to the library to do some work but i figured i’d come here instead” yoongi points to his backpack

“what kind of work do you have to do?”

“eh, i was just gonna take some notes. biology is kicking my ass”

“biology? i love biology!!!” you geek out and yoongi smiles and raises a brow “i mean… i know a bit about biology. i can help you if you want? since we have forty minutes”

yoongi scrunches his nose and looks down at his backpack before shrugging “alright, brainiac. show me whatcha got”

yoongi is 110% totally infatuated and completely enthralled with you

he lets out a sigh and leans his cheek against his knuckles as he continues listening to you

the two of you are sitting on the ground next to the bench and facing each other  

(he actually knows what you’re talking about he just wanted an excuse to talk to you)

you’re so dang cute even though you’re talking about the female reproduction system and how menstruation works

the way your eyes light up when you’re like SPERM let me tell you about the journey of the sperm to the egg is SO cute

he keeps his eyes trained on your mouth and you pause to flip through the textbook

you chew on your bottom lip to find the page you’re looking for and yoongi instinctively takes his bottom lip in between his teeth  

also you did your hair super adorable today

you have like a half-up half-down pigtails kind of situation going on (ur hair was a mess when u woke up and it looked decent like this even tho kook said you look like a three year old toddler)

and you’re wearing that darn varsity cardigan

he can see some loose threads on the end of the sleeve where you pick at unconsciously

he’s noticed that you have very endearing habits and he is Obsessed with a capital O

“so what happens is that the endometrial layer sloughs away and eliminated from the body in the form of menstrual blood! and when the estrogen and progesterone levels are too low-“

“-too low to inhibit the anterior pituitary, the cycle can begin again.” yoongi finishes off

you blink in surprise

dang he’s a fast learner

you’re a much better tutor than you thought you were

you give yourself a mental pat on the back

“yes! yes, that’s exactly right.” you clear your throat and slide the textbook back to yoongi before checking your watch

it’s been about 40 minutes of just studying

you don’t really know where to go from here lol

yoongi clears his throat “heY um there’s this movie that just recently came out and i have an extra ticket if you wanna-“

the blast of a whistle cuts yoongi off and he wants to scream into a pillow

LITERALLY

EVERY SINGLE TIME HE’S ABOUT TO ASK U OUT/BLATANTLY FLIRT W U

SOMETHING/SOMEONE INTERRUPTS HIM

“y/n!!!!!!” the two of you turn and see kook jogging towards you “i’m soRRY i skipped history today-“

“-and yesterday, and the day befor- ooF” the next thing you know kook is tackling you in a hug

yoongi feels a flame of jealousy spark within him

huh

he can’t help but wonder if you and kook are possibly,, more than friends

he’s never considered the possibility before

…damn

this is disappointing

Big Disappointment Energy

yoongi purses his lips and gets up off the ground

“hold on, kook- yoongi!” yoongi turns around “you were saying? about the movie?”

yoongi opens his mouth to speak

but now he feels pressure with the whole damn team here and also you’re talking to him with jungkook practically on tOp of you

“uh, nothing! don’t worry about it” yoongi swallows thickly and shrugs “thanks for helping me with bio”

you deflate a little

you swoRe he was about to ask u out on a movie date but

maybe he was just making small talk

“so are you gonna give me the notes from the lecture?” jungkook grins and you swat the side of his head before gently nudging him off of you

“i don’t think i have a choice, do i?”

honestly

you really reALLY love jungkook more than you should because here you are pumping up basketballs on a saturday afternoon instead of doing something more fun or productive

you dribble a freshly pumped up ball and hold it out in front of you

you close an eye and aim for the hoop and you very vioLENtly hurl it towards the hoop

instead of it going up it goes straight forward and bounces off the pole

lol

you’re literally like allergic to sports so holding the basketball alone is enough to make you break out into hives

“a little violent, no?” you jump when you hear a voice from behind you and of couRSe it’s yoongi

when you’re dressed in sweatpants and one of jungkook’s hoodies and your hair is messier than a bird’s nest and you bAREly have any makeup on of COURSE yoongi has to come and see you

“you think so? i thought that was the perfect amount of violent” you joke and bend down to pick up the ball when it rolls back towards you

“c’mon, give it a try!” yoongi nods over to the hoop and you swallow thickly

you wish this was one of those moments where ur like oh i’M not goOd at thIs at ALL and then you throw the ball covering your eyes and it goes smoothly into the hoop but it’s NOT

THIS IS REALITY SWEETHEART

you throw the ball and it bARELY reaches the hoop like that’s how weak your throw was

you turn around and give yoongi a sheepish smile and he’s like sO infatuated with you because you’re so cute

“you know, that wasn’t half bad.” yoongi offers and gets up from the bench as you go to pick up the ball “definitely have to work on your posture, tho”

all of a sudden yoongi’s standing behind you and you’re like o fuCK

status: trying not to SCREAM LIKE A PTERODACTYL

“stand up straight,” yoongi mutters lowly and he presses a hand flat against your stomach and you straighten up immediately

yoongi wraps his arms around you and places his hands over yours

you’re surprised your hands aren’t shAKIng from this interaction

his hands are so warm and so soft

“and then you just-“ yoongi raises his arms with yours and you let go of the ball as he flicks “swoosh!”

unsurprisingly the ball swOOshes into the hoop and yoongi’s still standing behind you with his hands over yours

in fact your guys’ fingers have seemed to intertwined themselves

“swoosh.” you clear your throat and wiggle out of yoongi’s grip to go and retrieve the ball

you haven’t turned around to face him yet because your face is literally on fire

yoongi’s kinda pouty about the fact you squirmed away but he recovers quickly

he ain’t a quitter

“how about you practice your dribbling? that’s easier than shooting” yoongi smirks and tilts his head

fair enough

dribbling is also a lot less stressful

“i’ll give you a three second head start-“

wait what

why do you need a head start

“and then i’m going to steal the ball from you.”

you waste approximately 1.8 seconds to register what’s happening and then you immediately sprint off and dribble the ball as fast as you can

as soon as you hear yoongi’s cackling and the sound of his shoes squeaking against the floor you’re like nopE we are NOT DOING THIS and you grab the ball and just run for your damn life

“wha- you’re trAVELLING THAT’S CHEATING” yoongi laughs and you can’t help but grin like an idiot as he chases you around the gym

“it’s mY BALL” you screech and somehow the two of you end up at the bleachers

you’re standing at opposite ends at both you and yoongi are out of breath

“gotcha!!” you shriek when yoongi grabs you all of a sudden but of course the two of you lose balance and the next thing you know you end up on the ground with yoongi on toP of you

the ball bounces gently and rolls away

the two of you are panting and looking at each other

like u physically cannOt look away

“you guys need to get a room” yoongi scrambles off of you when you guys hear jungkook

luckily it’s juSt jungkook

if coach bang walked in to see you straddling yoongi that wouldn’t be great

“oh, we weren’t- i just accidentally-“

“uh-huh”

you smile sheepishly and dust yourself off

practice goes by pretty smoothly and you can’t help but notice that yoongi is glancing over much more often than he usually does

he’s flashing you shy smiles and waving at you anD he always makes sure you’re watching him before he nonchalantly scores a point

like he tossed a ball over his shoulder and it swooshed right into the hoop and of couRse you’re frickin rearranging the cups when he does that

although he has to say he was glad you weren’t paying attention when he nearly tripped and fell flat on his face so

yoongi’s losing his mind in a good way if that makes any sense

he doesn’t think he’s ever liked someone as much as he likes you and he’s kind of scared?? because he’s never had feelings like this before

usually with girls he has to admit he

uh

loves them then leaves them is the nicer way of putting it

his heart beats sO fast when he walks into the gym and the first thing he sees is you and the first thing he hears is your giggle  

your ass looks really good in those shorts pluS your boobs look great in that tank top and hello you’re wearing that adorable cardigan you are so CUTE

his eyes can’t help but trail down to the swell of your bum when you turn to the side to talk to coach bang

yoongi looks away quickly because he is not about to sprout a boner in front of his teammates

basketball shorts do a horrible job of hiding boners

some of the greasier members of the team are like grouped together in the corner talking about you and yoongi wants to punch every single one of their smug faces in

“you think she gives it up easy?”

“are you kidding me? she obviously does. she’s practically begging for it every time she comes into the changing room. i’d take her over the bench no questions asked”

“and did you see what she was wearing at the party the other night? would’ve loved to-“

yoongi hurls a basketball at one of them and it hits him in the back of his head

“oW fuCKIN-“

“why aren’t you idiots practicing? kihyun, your dribbling sucks ass so i suggest you gET ON THAT” yoongi snaps and kihyun’s like jesus christ finE

The cult of Aphrodite was largely derived from that of-

your fingers pause on the keyboard

you look up from your laptop to see six smiling faces

okay

weird

you shake your head and go back to your paper

-largely derived from that of the Phoenician goddess Astarte, a cognate of the East Semitic goddess Ishtar, whose cult was-

the boys all exchange glances with each other

jin is the first one to speak up

“when are you and yoongi going to get together?”

you snort immediately and and continue typing

-whose cult was based on the Sumerian cult of Inanna. Aphrodite's main cult centers were-

jungkook suddenly reaches out and slaps your laptop shut

you yelp and pull your fingers away before they get snAPPed off

“we’re serious!”

“why does it matter to you people?” you raise a brow

“because you guys obviously like each other and it’s driving everyone crazy that you’re not officially together like could your flirting be any moRE obnoxious-“ jimin slaps a hand over jungkook’s mouth

your fingers pause as you take a moment to ponder

okay

you and yoongi have been flirting a lot lately

at least you thINK you guys have been flirting a lot

you like him a lot

like a LOT

and you think?? maybe he might like you back?

he acts a lot differently around you compared to the beginning of the season

“you should totally go and shoot your shot while yoongi’s shooting his shots in the gym” jin hums and you roll your eyes “get it because he’s literally shooting his shots but like you’re metaphorically-“

“yoU know what i’m going to do it because i’m going to shoot myself in the foot if i have to sit through one of your awful jokes” you start shoving everything into your backpack and namjoon gives jin a fist bump

“good luck!” you hear tae and you turn back and give the boys a wave as you swing your bag over your shoulder

a small smile twitches at your lips

for some reason you feel like you don’t need any luck

yoongi whistles a tune to himself as he swishes another ball into the hoop

he glances quickly when he hears the gym doors open but he doesn’t pay it much mind

(he’s hoping it’s you who just walked in but he’s going to act super casual like oH y/n i didn’t see u there i was just casually practicing my shots no biggie)

he hears a faint rustle and then a giggle “look at those biceps! someone’s been working out for the big game”

oh

that is not your voice

that is lisa’s voice

yoongi grips the ball and twists around quickly to look at her

“um, hi!” he greets awkwardly and scratches the back of his neck and kinda looks around the gym prayING that someone’s around

“mind if i join you? practice ended early for me.” lisa smiles that sweet smile and yoongi shrugs and nods before reciprocating a smile

“no, i don’t mind at all.”

there’s a bit of a pep in your step as you make your way down the hallway

you’ve never really done this before

the whole confessing to someone that you like them thing

mainly because you’ve never been so confident before that someone’s liked you

but now

bitch you is confident

you swear on your pet goldfish’s graVE (rip bubbles) that yoongi likes you just as much as you like him

you just feel so giddy inside it’s great!!!!!

this is a greAT FEELING

love is so nice

you let out a sigh as you see the doors to the gym and you hear the faint sound of a basketball dribbling around

you pause before you get to the doors and take a moment of silence to give yourself a pep talk

okay y/n

you know he likes you back

you’ve got this in the bAg sis

just go up to him and be like so when are you going to take me out on a date?

yeah man

big fuckin dick energy

embrace it!

you give yourself a mental fist bump and walk towards the door

you push it open slowly because all of a sudden you’re nervous

and so you open it wide enough so that you can see what’s going on but you’re still kind of hidden and-

your heart drops to your stomach

because what do you see?  

yoongi laughing as lisa shakes her pom poms right in his face

she bounces up and down excitedly and you watch as he grabs her waist and turns her around

your heart clenches at the sight of him grabbing a basketball and gesturing for her to try tossing it into the hoop

but like

that’s your guys’ thing

isn’t it??

plus lisa’s really nice like you’ve spoken to her a couple times and she’s always been really sweet and genuine and you don’t have a legitimate reason to hate her because she’s per fe ct

water girl

that’s who you are

you wash his uniform

you give him water

sometimes you clean the changing rooms

that’s who you are

you aren’t anything like lisa

you’re not top of the class

you’re not best friends with like everyboDy

you’re not the damn captain of the cheerleading squad

and like

yeah

that makes sense

yoongi’s the captain of the basketball team of course his girlfriend is going to the captain of the cheerleading squad that’s just how the universe works

he’s certainly not supposed to be with the water girl

and wow

you are definitely totally about to start crying right now

oh my god girl

you shut the door quietly and let out a breath you didn’t even know you were holding

bed big disappointment energy am i right ladies

ha,.,., ha,.,

“okay, it’s fine, we’re good,” you mutter to yourself while blinking the tears away “we’re great, we’re fine! we’re cool”

whatever

u need to finish writing your paper anyway

“so like - can i talk to you about something?” lisa hums while yoongi dribbles the ball

he nods quickly and swooshes it into the hoop “yeah for sure! what’s up?”

there’s a moment of silence and lisa looks uncertain but she shakes her head and clears her throat

“i think… i think we should get back together.” yoongi freezes and is like hA,…,whAt,.,.., pARdon mE

“you… okay. um… why?”

lisa snorts ad steps a little closer to yoongi

and for some reason it feels like his feet are glued on the floor he canNOt move

“come on, yoongi. head cheerleader, captain of the basketball team - the stars are aligning for us!” lisa shakes her pom poms in his face before leaning in and practically nuzzling her nose against his and yoongi sputters and laughs awkwardly before grabbing her waist and flipping her around because she’s getting wAY too close “and, uh, i can’t be the only one in saying our sex was pretty hot too” she winks

yoongi’s cheeks flush and he looks away

like yea they had a thing but that was a while ago that was like first year second year ish

and it was never really serious in the first place yoongi established that with her

so it’s just weird that out of nowhere she’s like yA let’s geT back toGether

no

jesus

he’s not doing that

lisa is really nice and chill (and c’mon he’s not going to lie she was pretty good at sucking dick aND she’s very flexible) but like

….thank u, next

“you know, i… you’re really nice! and you’re gorgeous, there’s no denying it - i just feel like… you know, i don’t wanna lead you on or anything like that because i’ve kinda got my eye on- and that time was like- it was just something casual, you know… i… would love to be friends, though! and you know what friends do?? they, uh… they play a round of basketball with each other? why don’t you give it a shot?” yoongi grabs a basketball and thrusts it towards lisa before she has the chance to step closer to him

yoongi turns and looks towards the door when he sees a flash of movement

hm

well

you are disappointed

to say the least

all these years spent pining after yoongi because you thought you had a sliver of a chance only to realise that nO you don’t actually have an ounce of a chance whatsoever

so that’s put you in a pretty bitter mood

and when you’re in a bitter mood

you shut people out

you shut down

you turn into a robot

“what’s the matter with you?” jungkook raises his brow when he notices you poking at your lunch

you have mac n cheese today and you usually go ham on the stuff but for the last three minutes you’ve been poking at the same macaroni noodle

“what makes you think something’s the matter?” you stab your fork into the noodles and the table shakes from how aggressive you did it

jungkook raises his hands in defense and pops a grape into his mouth

“you… excited for practice?”

“why would i be excited? all i am is the damn water girl.”

jungkook snorts and is like okay dang calm down u angry troll

you shove your tray away from you “you can eat it”

“what’s the matter with you?” jungkook asks again and you shake your head before pulling your laptop out

“i, uh….” just had my heart shattered into a million pieces because of (1) min yoongi? “i’m on my period”

jungkook’s eyes widen and he looks around nervously

“oh,.., um…, want me to buy you some timtams?”

“timta- …tampons?”

“…is that not what i said”

thank god you have jungkook

he always cheers you up somehow lmao

youuuuuuu wanna leave

you don’t wanna be here today

you just have no energy to do anything

you don’t want to talk to anyone

you don’t want to see anyone

you especially don’t wanna see a certain someone

you’re going through your checklist to see if you have everything you need and to see if you’ve done everything you need to do

pump up the basketballs? check

polished the floors? got it

washed out water barrel? mmhm

“hey, y/n!”

recycled the cups from last time? yeppers

“hm, hey” you hum nonchalantly and tick another box

you look back up

you jump in surprise and the moment you realise it’s yoongi you immediately back up and bump riGht into the stack of cups and knock them over and your pen and notebook fall to the floor

“oh- here, lemme help-“ yoongi bends down and helps you pick up a couple cups that are rolling away and you are trying noT to scream right now

“it’s okay, i got it!” you grab the cups from yoongi “at lisa i didn’t- at least- at least i didn’t knock over the barrel of wateR” you chuckle awkwardly and stack the cups back onto the bench

he picks up your notebook and pen and sets it down near your bag and looks at you weirdly

“are you ok-“

“sorry, i have to fill this up! it’s only half full and we can’t have that” you hoist the barrel off the bench and this thing is like 98% full of water but that just won’t do

yoongi scratches the back of his neck and watches as you hobble off with the barrel and he doesn’t get the chance to catch up to you and ask you if he did something wrong because he hears the blast of the whistle and the sound of runners squeaking against the linoleum floors

when yoongi comes over to get a cup of water from you during the break he’s insuLTed when you ask namjoon to pass him the cup of water

what the hell did he do????

was it because,,.., idk was it because he helped you pick up your cups?? maybe you have a weird superiority complex with the whole water girl position

you know what

it’ll be fine

maybe you’re just having an off day

yeah

you’ll be fine tomorrow

okay

long damn story short

you are not fine tomorrow

you are not fine on the next day

oR the next

OR THE N E   X T

yoongi literally has no idea what the hell he did wrong

now usually when he has girl problems like this he deals with it just fine

most of the time he ends up ignoring the girl back because he doesn’t have time in his busy schedule to worry about a girl

but you’re different

you’re y/n and he

frick

he reaLLY likes you and he thought you liked him back for a while but now that you’re acting like this he’s not too sure

you literally go ouT of your way to not bump into him and not talk to him and it sucks!!!

he saw you in the cafe when you were paying for your food and you sLAMMEd some bills down on the counter and literally sprinted out of the dining hall and the lady at the register was like miss u just gave me like $50 for an apple a water and a chicken sandwich

it’s even worse during practice

every time he comes near you you immediately get up and walk in the other direction or you go and talk to another guy and he doesn’t know what to do!!1/!/1/1/1/1/!

the most he got out of you was when you accidentally bumped into him and you gave him a very timid sorry before scurrying away

yoongi does noT have time to deal with this and he keep trying not to be bothered by it but sweetie he is Bothered with a capital fuckin B

he tries not to let the irritation show on his face when you’re laughing at something with the other guys (especially espECIALLY kihyun) and when you make eye contact with yoongi the smile drops from your face and you get all weird

and now

well

now he’s mad!!!!!! he’s mad because he didn’t do anything wrong and to be frank you’re kinda being a dick

if he did something to fuck up you should’ve called him out on it like he wanTs you to call him out on it

and before he knows it

it’s the day of the big game

and when we say big game we meaN Big Game

the boys have been practicing for this all season

they’ve worked their way up to the top to get here to compete with the jaguars (that’s the opposite team’s mascot it’s pretty fckin basic lmao)

yoongi lets out a sigh as he adjusts his bandana in the little mirror in his locker

there are about five minutes before the game starts

he’s already feeling the pressure

as the basketball captain he’s like the glue that bonds the team together

if he’s grumpy the whole ass team’s going to be grumpy and that would not be good for morale

so he’ll push you aside for now and just focus on basketball

because ball is life right now and that’s all that matters

after this game he can go up to you and be like wtf girl what’s wrong with you

just thinking about you is making him angry

yoongi lets out a sigh of exasperation and pushes a couple strands of hair out of his eyes

okay okay

big day big game

suck it up don’t think about y/n

no need to freak out

he’s super calm

he’s super chill

everything’s gon be alright

“oh, uh, sorry, jungkook asked me to get his lucky charm for him” you pop up in the mirror behind yoongi and he immediately slams his locker shut and whips around

“okay, what’s the big deal?”

“um, i…” you’re visibly taken aback and he sees you look towards the exit

“doN’T- i swear to god if you run away from me again i’m going to scream” yoongi snaps and furrows his brows when you avoid his gaze

oh for christ sakes

“just TELL ME what the fuCK i did wrong because i’m struggling to understand what the hell is going on with you!” yoongi groans in frustration “every time i walk near you you run away. every time i look at you you look away. every time i ask for water you get someone else to hand it to me. i’m frustrated and i don’t fucking understand what the hell i did and you are SO irritating let me tell you for the past two and a half weeks you’ve been driving me insane and i-“

you don’t let yoongi finish because now you’RE mad that hE’S mad

“it’s because we-“ you gesture to both you and yoongi “we aren’t a match, alright?! i was crazy for even thinking i had a shot with you and i just feel so stuPID for thinking the captain of the damn basketball team would go for the water girl instead of the head cheerleader loOK the point is we aren’t compatible and that’s just how it is!”

and there it is

everything spills out of you in thirty seconds

the thing that’s been bothering you for the last two weeks is now out in the open

it’s just hanging in the air

yoongi’s gaze softens

“you-“

“min! two minutes!” the both of you turn when you hear coach bang and yoongi curses to himself

he needs like five more minutes to explain to you why your logic is so dumb and aLSO he’s not interested in the head cheerleader he’s interested in yOU and you do YOU DO HAVE A SHOT WITH HIM but you’re so damn stubborn and-

“after this game, i’m gonna quit my job as the water girl because coach bang said i’ve gotten plenty of credits already and we’re probably never going to see each other again and that’s just the way that life is supposed to be like. all peace will be restored” you exclaim sarcastically

yoongi wants to scream whY ARE YOU BEING so diFFICULT right now

“for the love of god y/n everything that you just said literally doesn’t even mak-“

“min! out here, now!”

“come on, captain. you have a game to win and i have cups to fill.” you move past yoongi and before he has the chance to reach out and grab you you’ve already headed out to the court

yoongi groans in frustration and immediately punches into the lockers

and now there’s a goddamn knuckle mark in his locker

o UCH

the locks rattle against the metal and yoongi cradles his swollen knuckles before cursing to himself

yoongi heads out and joins the boys in a huddle

he gets a smack on the back of the head from coach bang for being a minute late

“i’ll see you boys out on the court. don’t let me down.”

“alright people hands in the middle” yoongi clears his throat and sticks his hand in the middle of the circle and everyone follows suit

“what the hell happened to your hand?” jimin points out and yoongi shakes his head and ignores him

his knuckles are raw and swollen and it lookin kinda nasty

“on the count of three - one, two three - go team!” the boys all grunt out the chant before splitting off and making their way to the entrance of the gym

the crowd bursts into cheers and applause when the boys enter the gym

from across the gym yoongi spots his mortal enemy taeyang

he’s the captain of the enemy basketball team and he’s the woRst

and of course when yoongi needs to focus the most he can’t focus at all because of Y O U

you grin and wave at jungkook when he catches you standing next to coach bang

you and yoongi lock gazes and your smile falters but you give him a thumbs up

god you feel awkward

why did you think it would be a good idea to say all that shit to yoongi

now he’s just going to think ur weird

good one water girl

meanwhile

yoongi canNOt get you off his mind

he literally just needs one minute to explain this mESS to you but obviously he can’t do that right now because the game’s about to start

and he can’t noT think about you when you’re standing right there with your adorable cardigan and your stupid endearing smile and-

yoongi jumps when he hears the blast of a whistle and he’s about to jump up to grab the ball but the next thing he knows the captain from the other team is whooshing past him dribbling the ball like a maniac

“min! what’s gotten into you?? focus!!!” he hears coach bang scold him and yoongi curses to himself before running after the ball

shit

he’s playing the biggest game of the season and he can barely focus

“fucking shit” yoongi groans when the ball plunKS off the backboard and right into the hands of an opposing player

“yoongi, c’mon man get your head in the game” hoseok hisses and whacks yoongi on the arm “you’re not our captain for nothing”

“yoongi, pass me the ball pass me the bALL WHAT R YOU-“ the referee blows the whistle and yoongi pauses and looks around like ??

taeyang grabs the ball from him with a smirk “you’re the basketball captain, aren’t you? don’t you know travelling with the ball is a big no-no?”

wait what

yoongi travelled????? hE TRAVELLED??? LIKE AN IDIOT

meanwhile coach bang is sitting next to you with his face in his hands

you reach over and pat his shoulder “it’s, uh, it’s not too bad, coach! we’re just a couple of points behind” like literally the boys just need like two shots and then they’ll be back on track

“i need a drink” coach bang mutters and you offer him a cup of icy cold water with a sheepish smile

he grabs it from you and chugs it down before letting out a sigh “that’s not strong enough”

“…it’s water”

okay

so

the game is going

well it’s going okay(?) ish

overtime the boys score a point the other team scores like four more points

poor yoongi is definitely ouT of it

he’s tripped over his feet a couple times

he didn’t catch the ball when hoseok passed it to him for free throw

you know it’s kind of your fault but you don’t really know what to do

“let’s go, kook” you watch as jungkook speeds across the court but at the last minute passes the ball to yoongi and- oH OW

you wince when yoongi’s suddenly shoved by an opposing player and he literally skiDs across the floor

the entire crowd groans because that definitely looked like it hurt

“oOh that looks like it hurts someone should go and help him” you nudge coach bang and he blinks owlishly at you

“y/n that’s your job”

OH right RIGht

the referee blows the whistle for foul play and you immediately rush over to yoongi with your little first aid kit fanny pack

“are you okay??” the first thing yoongi sees when he rolls over onto his back is your face hovering right above his along with his concerned looking teammates anD coach

yoongi sits up and rubs the side of his head

when he fell his head literally just whacked against the floor so that’s great

the room is definitely spinning right now

there are cartoon birds flying around his head

“ugh, i’m fine” yoongi mutters

“your knee is bleeding and your knuckles are-“

“i said i’m fine.” yoongi snaps and winces

he reaches up and pulls away to see some blood smeared on his fingers

“y/n, patch him up in the changing rooms.”

“i don’t need-“

“yes, you do. take a breather, and when you come back, hopefully you’ll actually be able to make a simple shot.” coach bang raises a brow and gestures for you to take him away

ok ouch

he CAN make a simple shot he’s just disTRACTED OKAY

“i should be out there playing with everyone.” yoongi sits down on the bench and you sigh and drop to your knees in front of him

“calm down mr athlete, i’ll get you out there so you can play the last round” you respond quietly, pressing a cotton pad soaked with hydrogen peroxide to his knee

yoongi jolts from the sting but relaxes a bit afterwards

you wipe up the blood and patch a bandaid over it

there’s obviously a bit of tension between the two of you but no one knows how to address it and bring it up  

you clear your throat before sitting up a little so that you’re face to face “look, i, uh, i’m sorry. i shouldn’t have dumped all of that on you before the game but like i’m just a preTTY emotional person and i was feeling really mad and sad at you in that moment but u know what i don’t want there to be any bad blood between us because you’re super cool and i don’t want you to think that i’m insane i knoW i literally sound insane right now but the point it-“

“can you shut up for like thirty seconds?” yoongi cuts you off abruptly and you’re visibly taken aback

s coFF

rude,, but fair

you purse your lips and start to tend to the scrape on his cheek

“i like you.” he confesses boldly and you’re like o,,,oh “yeah, i like you. romantically. so how the hell do you think it makes me feel when you - out of noWhere - start to avoid me like the plague?? and after weEKS of avoiding me when i finally get the chance to talk to you you completely freAK out and start talking about how we’re not compatible and you start blurting out all this dumb shit and?? you didn’t even give me a damn chance to talk about my feelings and you didn’t give me the chance to ask you what the hell i did that made you act that way!!! it’s frustrating - you’re sO frustrating and it’s irritating me because usually when someone gets all weird on me i don’t mind like i honestly wouldn’t give a shit but i MINDED SO MUCH because it’s yOU and you’re y/n and you’re so sweet and funny and nice to everyone and i liKE YOU and i just don’t get it!!!!!”

“i, uh- okay.” you swallow and clear your throat

wha

is that aLL you have to SAY

yoongi’s going to give you a SECOND ANGRY RANT if that’s all you have to say jesus christ

“i think i- the thing is- okay i’ve just never felt this way about anyone before and it kinda freaked me out and then when the boys planted the idea of you liking me back in my head i immediately panicked and- look i saw you with lisa and i was just… i felt like i wasn’t good enough of you and… yeah. yeah.”

yoongi lets out a sigh

noW he knows why you were avoiding him like that

frickin finally

“lisa wanted to get back together, actually”

oh yikEs

you deflate a little

yoongi raises a brow at you “obviously it’s not going to happen, you dummy. she was getting all up in my face so i shoved a basketball into her hands to distract her.”

oh

“oh. cool. i knew that.” you mutter and wipe the dried blood off the side of his forehead before sticking a little bandaid there too “so is it… is it safe to come to the conclusion that we…”

“like each other?”

“like-like each other”

yoongi snorts and rolls his eyes playfully “yes. i like-like you and you like-like me. you like-like-like me”

you smooth the bandaid down and drop back down to lean against your heels

the two of you kinda just look at each other

it’s a nice moment of silence where the two of you are letting it sink in

ah yes

nice and calm

hoLY SHIT HE LIKES YOU BACK

YEEEASDSAJHDASKJDHSDJASHD HE LIKE S YOU BA ACK

yoongi smiles and leans down and riGHT before he gets to kiss you you raise your finger and press it against his lips

“you have a game to win.” you grin and get up off your knees and yoongi groans in frustration

“not even a good luck peck??” he pouts and grabs onto your wrist

“you don’t need the luck, but here-“ you bend down and give him a cute smooch on the cheek and yoongi already feels re-energized

yoongi grabs your hand and intertwines his fingers with yours as you guys make your way back to the court

you have to press your lips together to keep yourself from screeching

as soon as you guys get to the gym you let go of yoongi’s hand because if jungkook sees that he’S going to get distracted for sure

“alright coach, put me back in” yoongi taps coach bang on the shoulder and coach bang looks at him warily

yoongi’s smile drops from his face and he raises a brow “i promise- i pROMIse i am so much better”

coach bang looks over yoongi’s shoulder at you and you give him a confident thumbs up “he’s all patched up and good to go”

“one slip up and you’re getting benched.”

unsurprisingly

yoongi gets right back into it

travelling?? never heard of her

flawless jump shots? hook shots? bank shots? yoongi has them aLL in the bag

at one point yoongi dribbles past taeyang and manages to flip him off aND make a shot at the same time and taeyang’s standing there like what haPPENED

but you’re not going to lie

now you’re a little nervous

there are approximately ten seconds left of the game and the scores are tied

you’re standing there anxiously next to coach bang as you watch the clock tick down

oh no

oh fuck

they’re not going to make it they’re noT GOING TO MAKE IT

suddenly you see namjoon pass the ball to yoongi and yoongi ziPS across the court smoothly blocking and avoiding members of the opposite team

and it’s like everything happens in slow motion

yoongi tosses the ball

it hits the corner of the hoop

and spins around once

spins around twice

“c’mon, c’mon…” you mutter and bounce up and down on your feet

you immediately let out a screech of excitement when the ball swooshes into the hoop riGHT as the buzzer goes off

coach bang literally flings his clipboard up into the air and jumps up and down in excitement with you before he’s going over to join the boys

they’re all huddled up together and you laugh as you see them lift yoongi up into the air while yoongi clutches onto the trophy and plants a big fat kiss onto it

they let him down and they’re all fawning over the trophy

you grin when you see yoongi heading straight for you with a towel slung over his shoulder

“congratul-“ you don’t even get a chance to finish congratulating yoongi because the next thing you know he’s tugging you in for a kiss and

time seems to slow down

your eyes flutter shut and you grip a handful of yoongi’s jersey

you don’t even care that he’s sweaty and that his jersey is slightly damp because woWie he is definitely kissing u right now

eventually yoongi pulls away

“i like you - i like you so much and i don’t care if- if people think that water girls and basketball team captains aren’t meant to be together because i like you and that’s all that matters to me and-“ you lean up to give yoongi the smallest sweetest peck and his heart goes uwu when you nudge your nose against his

he blinks down at you owlishly and you smile like a damn fool

“i like you too” and you  say that with 120% confidence

“hYUNG we should knock you out more often if it gets you to play like thAT” jungkook grins and yoongi is like noOO no thank U

and then jungkook notices that yoongi… has his arms wrapped around your waist… and your arms… are hanging around his neckAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

his round eyes get wiDER and he literally goes like O o O and then O 0 O

“…does this mean i’m going to become a third wheel?”

thaT’s the first thing he’s asking about???

classic kook

“yoongi, kook! get your asses over here for a team picture!” namjoon calls out and you look over to see all the boys getting ready to pose for the picture

hoseok of course is in the middle clutching the trophy with a megawatt smile on his face

his smile is literally brighter than the trophy itself

you pull away from yoongi but the next thing you know he’s grabbing your hand and pulling you towards the boys

he turns to look at you with a smile “c’mon, water girl. you’re part of the team too.”

you can’t hide the big fat smile on your face

water girl

that’s who you are.

you understand why a lot of the girls are bitter and petty towards you

it’s because you’re surrounded by the cutest boys all the time

and you get to watch all of them work out in the gym

>:-)

boys will be boys

and boys like flexing and showing off to any and all girls

and so

“y/n! look! i can bench press 200!”

“y/n u wanna come watch me do bicep curls”

“Y/N U THINK I CAN THROW A DUMBBELL INTO THE AIR DO A FLIP AND THEN CATCH IT WITH ONE HAND”

…that one was kook obviously

and you usEd to give everyone an equal amount of attention

but things r a little different now

juSt a little bit

“i’m supposed to be studying right now” you giggle when yoongi bends down and gives you another kiss

somehow he convinced you it would be a good idea to lie underneath him while he’s doing push ups

he said it’d give him motivation and u know what

you will gladly take all opportunities given to u to kiss ur boyfriend

“you can study after i’m done”

“how many push- *kiss* -ups until you’re- *kiss* -done??”

yoongi pauses and holds himself up over you as he thinks about it

“i usually do like 100 pushups and we’re only at… 20”

that’s a lie yoongi’s already done like 60 pushups but

:::)))

“oH my god you guys are so gross”

“go make out in the changing rooms or something!!!”

“Y/N DO U THINK I CAN SET THE TREADMILL TO THE FASTEST SPEED AND RUN ON IT WITHOUT FALLING”

ya

so things are only a LITTLe different

your obsession with yoongi’s hands and fingers

you now have a reason as to why you’re obsessed with them

you don’t know how long the two of you have been going at it but all you know is that goddAMN yoongi is SO good with his fingers

“oh god” you whimper and arch your back against the mattress

yoongi pops his head up from in between your legs “that’s not my name but the praise is appreciated”

“s-shut up” you snort and it’s interrupted by a moan because the tips of his fingers brush over that spot and you immediately twitch

“mm, does that feel good? right there?” yoongi smirks and presses a gentle kiss to your inner thigh and you moan when you feel his thumb starting to circle over your clit

yoongi slows down purposely and relishes in the way your arousal covers his fingers

and yeah he said he wasn’t going to do anything else besides fingers (even tho u were clearly fine with him using his m o u t h if he wanted to but he didn’t want to overwhelm you because this is the first time u guys are doing things like this) but now he’s kinda feeling like he wants to do more than fingers

…

yoongi’s never been great at keeping promises so

“”oH mY God” you shoot straight up from the bed and immediately tangle your fingers into yoongi’s hair when he out of noWhere buries his face in between your legs

he clamps your thighs down when they threaten to close around him and snap his neck off and he’s sure he’s going to leave bruises on you but he’ll make up for it (and honestly u don’t mind because him marking u up like this is rly hot)

he starts moving with precision and you feel his tongue flick up and down against your clit and you are noT going to last long at all

“yoongi,” you choke out and your hips instinctively start grinding against his face “yoongi i think i’m gonna-“ you can’t even get a coherent sentence out because that’s how overwhelmed you are

“c’mon, baby - i’ve got you, you can cum” yoongi murmurs against your core and god his voice is dangerously low and raspy and that is your K I N K

he wraps an arm around your thigh before yanking you down the bed and pulling you closer to his mouth

the vibrations from his mouth are the last thing you feel before your orgasm hitS you like a ton of bricks

you cry out in pleasure and feel tingles up and down your spine and yoongi pins your hips down to the bed

for a couple seconds you’re pretty sure you black out

you pant and look up at the ceiling

welp

you are a changed woman because of min yoongi’s fingers and mouth

yoongi wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and smiles cockily up at you “i’m keeping these, by the way” he twirls your panties around his finger before shoving it into his back pocket

yoongi crawls up onto the bed and on top of you

“what’s the matter?” he coos and gives you a sweet kiss and you immediately whine and attempt to flip over and yoongi sees your cheeks flush even moRe “getting all shy on me, hm?” he grins and rolls off of you but at the last minute grabs your hips and pulls you on top of him

you mumble something while looking down at your hands that are resting on yoongi’s tummy

“what was that? didn’t catch that, jagi”

you clear your throat and yoongi’s eyes widen when you hook a finger on the waistband of his shorts

“i said i wanna make u feel good too” you murmur and look at him with your doe eyes and hoW can he say no to that face r u kidding me

spoiler alert: you too are very good with your hands and mouth

you like to think that an important stepping stone in your relationship with yoongi was when he did a body shot on you

well

okay it wasn’t a legit body shot because all you did was hold a lime up for him

but since then you’ve become a little more daring

which is how you find yourself with your tank top lifted up to expose your stomach staring up at the ceiling while jimin sprinkles a circle of salt above your belly button

you snort when jimin suddenly pops up above you with his cheesy grin wiggling a wedge of lime above your face

“this goes in your mouth this time” you hum and open your mouth up and jimin places it down gently “aLRIGHT let’s get this show on the road do we have anyone for water gir-“

“don’t even try it, park” you grin when you hear yoongi cut him off and then you feel familiar hands gripping your thighs apart and pulling you down the counter a little so that you’re pressed flush against your boyfriend  

jeez louise yoongi save it for laTER

you giggle when yoongi gives your outer thighs a little squeeze of acknowledgement

“alright, on the count of three! one, two, three-!” not even half a second later you feel yoongi’s tongue lick up against your stomach and you arch your back instinctively but he flattens his hand against you to push you back down

you get a brief glance of yoongi downing a shot before he’s tossing the shot glass aside and leaning down and taking the lime from you

he sucks on it for like a second before spitting it aside and smooshing his lips against yours

for a second you forget that the two of you are surrounded by other people and you instinctively kiss him back and open up when you feel his tongue prodding against your lips

your arms slither to wrap around his neck and your fingers find themselves getting tangled in yoongi’s locks

“THAT’S MY BEST FRIEND U PERV” yoongi starts getting swatted by kook and he immediately pulls away and raises his hands in defence “listen cap if ur going to take her to pound town at least wait til i’m not in the same house as her”

“jungKOOK” you groan

the second hand embarrassment is real

you’ve been spending a lot of nights at yoongi’s place recently because,,, duh

this benefits the both of u because his apartment is bigger than yours and his bed is comfier than yours and he gets to get you all to himself 24/7

yoongi rubs his eyes sleepily and his arm flops down next to him

he looks over

huh

you’re not there

he sits up quickly and furrows his brows

did you leave without telling him?

:(

oh wait

he spots your clothes neatly folded up and sitting on the chair and your phone is plugged into a charger

okay it’s fine no problem

yoongi hops outta bed and stretches his limbs out

he catches a glimpse of his bare back in the mirror and can’t help but smirk at the pinkish scratches down his back

he gives himself a mental pat on the back

he wanders into the kitchen

and the first thing he sees is you fiddling with the waffle iron dressed in nothing but hiS jersey and a pair of very cheeky panties

“hey you really need to clean this thing out like i see crumbs and dried batter and honestly it’s kind of nasty and i was really craving some waff- hEY” yoongi sweeps you off your feet and flings you over his shoulder before giving your bum a smack “yoongi!”

“we’ll make waffles afTERwards”

he can’t control himself

“after whAT??” yoongi practically yEETs you onto the mattress before grabbing your ankles and tugging you down a bit

“after wha- oh you knoW what”

you can’t help but giggle before yoongi’s smooshing his lips against yours “you really think you can walk around my apartment wearing this and expect me to do nothing about it?” yoongi purrs and pins your wrists above your head and you instinctively arch your back when he starts pressing kisses from your neck and then down your chest

he lets go of your wrists before moving over to sit against the headboard

you look at him like hey where u goin and he pats his lap “c’mere, pretty girl”

yoongi can’t help but grope your bum as you settle on his lap with your legs on either side of him

yoongi gives you a warning look when you bend down and teasingly brush your lips over his and you grin before leaning down and giving him a proper kiss

he wraps an arm around your waist and your body curves against him sO perfectly it’s insane

yoongi licks over your bottom lip and slips his tongue into your mouth when you moan quietly at the feeling of yoongi pressing himself right up against you

you roll down against his thigh and let out a whimper

when you go to take the jersey off yoongi grabs your wrist and stops you

“keep it on” he breathes out and you see the way his eyes are blown out

“k-keep it on?” you raise a brow and gasp when yoongi rolls his hips up into yours

“yeah, keep it on” yoongi pinches your chin in between his fingers and brings you down towards him for a kiss

holy shit

this is the best day of yoongi’s life

“a-aH, yoongi!” you’re riding him like your life depends on it and you’ve never looked hotter

yoongi growls and digs his fingers into your hips

yoongi’s jersey is sliding off your shoulder and your head is thrown back exposing your neck and exposing all the bites and marks that yoongi’s given you and jeSus he’s literally about to cum and he usually takes a hell lot longer than this to cum

“look at you, so eager for my cock” yoongi purrs and grabs a handful of your ass before giving you a pert smack “how badly do you need to cum, hm?” he’s honestly struggling to keep it together but one thing he knows for sure is that you have to cum before him

“s-so bad, soOo bad please yoongi” you gasp and yoongi takes that opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth

yoongi’s already gotten two orgasms out of you so spiralling into a third one doesn’t take much effort

yoongi pulls away and looks down at where the two of you are connected and grunts when he feels himself getting closer to the edge as well

you convulse under the intensity of your orgasm and yoongi continues to move you up and down as he chases his own orgasm

“oh, fuck” yoongi curses as he feels you clench around him and he bites down on your shoulder

it only takes a couple more thrusts until yoongi’s reaching his own orgasm and lets out a cathartic groan

you feel his grip loosen on your hips and you bend down to rest your forehead on his shoulder as he rubs small circles on your back under the jersey

“…now i need to wash your damn jersey again”

“that sounds like a you problem”

you think the rest of the guys on the team are all super great

but sometimes

they take it a little too far

“oh my god, yoongi, harder, harder please-“ you whimper against yoongi’s mouth and his grip under your thighs tighten as he starts thrusting into you significantly harder

you had finished some of your water gal duties early and yoongi convinced you to come and take a shower with him because “you deserve a break too!!!”

and you told him nO funny business while we shower and he was all like ya babe for sure no funny business

next thing you know yoongi has you pinned up against the wall with his hands gripping you under your thighs and your legs wrapped around his waist and he is fucking you like there’s no tomorrow

you push some of yoongi’s hair back as he tucks his face into your neck and starts sucking marks on your skin “gonna cum for me, jagi?”

“yesyesyES” you gasp and your toes curl when he hits your g-spot and you immediately clench around him

fuck you’re so close

deciding to take a shower with your boyfriend was so worth it

and the two of you are like [this] close to reaching euphoria and all of a sudden

“rAAAAA” the shower curtain gets whiPPED to the side and you let out a scream because like haLF THE TEAM IS STANDING THERE

“oH my fuckin- can you pervs get the hell outta here??” yoongi growls and shields as much of you as he possibly can and you squeak in surprise because you are nAKED RIghT NOW

“hoseok you owE me a week’s worth of lunch i told you they were fucking in here”

“jungkook was the one who mislead me and said y/n was only in here to get our uniform!!!!!”

you snort and tuck your face into the crook of yoongi’s neck when the rest of the boys start whOoPing and wolf-whistling

you’re fine because yoongi has you completely covered but yoongi’s ass is definitely on display

you clutch your fingers around his shoulders and let out a gasp when he bounces you up a little to adjust you because you’re sliding down the damn wall

“oh eW YOU’RE STILL INSIDE OF HER” jimin groans and makes a face and yoongi’s like YA BITCH THAT’S HOW SEX WORKS U FCKIN MORON

“you guys need to learn how to keep it down if doing it in the showers is going to become a regular thing”

“ah, yoongi, harder!” jungkook mocks in a much higher pitched voice and you resist the urge to hurl the bottle of shampoo at him

eventually they leave and close the shower curtain again and yoongi sighs and leans his forehead against yours

you crinkle your nose “call me crazy but i think that kinda killed the mood”

yoongi groans and pulls out of you before letting you back down onto your feet

he was literally about to Bust The Fattest Nut and they TOOK THAT AWAY from him

“i’m gonna kill them”

yoongi’s figured it out

a reason why the two of you didn’t get together sooner is because you are literally the most oblivious person in the entire world

someone could make a neon sigh that said Y/N I’M INTERESTED IN YOU and you’d just blink past it

also

yoongi likes most of the guys on the team they’re all super chill

it’s just that some of them push his buttons more than others

for example

yoo kihyun

great defender and all that ya he’s a good team player

but he hAs to be the fuckboi of the century and that’s rich coming from yoongi

kihyun fully knows that you and yoongi are together but does he care?? nope

yoongi looks past jungkook’s shoulder at you and kihyun

jungkook’s talking to yoongi about how to do a bank shot but yoongi is very obviously not listening to him and is very obviously distracted

he can’t hear you or kihyun because he don’t got supersonic hearing but by kihyun’s body language he knows exactly what’s going on

“you look great in this shirt, y/n” kihyun reaches over and tugs on the sleeve and you grin before looking down at it

you don’t notice when he takes a step closer to you

“thank you! it’s actually one of yoongi’s shirts so it’s a little big but i think it’s cute-” you hum and look down at the faded print on the front of the shirt

“kook - i will be right back buddy” yoongi pats jungkook’s shoulder and moves past him

the anger is practically radiating off of him in waves

“-and also it smells like him!”

kihyun pauses but that doesn’t deter him

“and as great as it looks on you, i think it’d look a hell of a lot better on my bedroom floo-“

“hi, baby” you jump when yoongi suddenly pops up behind you and you turn around to glance at him

“hi yoo- mmph-!” all of a sudden yoongi yanks you in for a veRy heated kiss

he turns you around and wraps an arm around your waist and then he’s grabbing your arm and forcing it around his neck

“what’s gotten into you?”

“hush” yoongi breathes out and plants his lips against yours again and practically forces his tongue into your mouth and you’re like !!!!!!!!!

you’re dazed when he pulls away and flips you back around so you’re facing kihyun

“you may proceed” yoongi smacks your ass before he jogs back to jungkook and kihyun’s kinda standing there like,,,, uh,,,.,.,. i’m just gonna,,,., practice my dribbling or something

you give yoongi a glare and he blows u a kiss

classic

[imagineredwood]

Pairing: EZ Reyes x Camila (OC)

Warnings: None

Word count: 3.3k

Camila sipped at her iced tea as she sat in her back patio, overlooking her garden that had finally started to bloom and reflecting on her past month. A good three weeks had gone by since she had settled into her new home in Santo Padre. She’d settled into her home, settled into her job, and settled into her life, slowly making more and more friends as she met new people. Living by herself, she had gotten rather close to the neighbor Elisa and her children, the four of them having already had dinner together twice so far. Elisa was sweet and nurturing, a mother figure through and through and Camila couldn’t help but be reminded of her own mother, all warm food and even warmer love.  She’d built a relationship with them, as well as Mr. Salvatore and Sandra at the bookstore. She had learned more about their family and their history, learned about Ethan’s academic struggles as he came to the bookstore more often to study and do research. She had started to feel that she fit in and was enjoying the feeling of being accepted by those around her. 

The Reyes family was a little different though. Camila had settled for going to Felipe’s when she could, opting to put her money back into her community and a business she trusted rather than some chain. All her meats and spices were purchased from there and slowly she had started building up somewhat of an acquaintanceship with him, occasionally bumping into EZ as well. But there always seemed to be somewhat of a wall put up there, where they were kind but kept the interactions minimal. Every now and then she would see them break out, sharing a little more, being a little more open, but it always seemed to get closed back down eventually and Camila couldn’t help but wonder why. It was clearly a family business, the name of the shop being their own. She had taken notice of the photos along the wall when she waited for Felipe to pack up her meat of choice. She had seen the woman in the pictures, her hand grasping EZ’s at a baseball game, Felipe standing next to her with a smile as bright as the sun. The fact that she never saw the woman and they never mentioned her was not lost on Camila. She could read people well, always had ever since she was little. A blessing her mother had called it, though sometimes it felt more like a curse. She could feel that the family had been struck by tragedy, though she didn’t exactly know in what way, but she could tell that both EZ and Felipe carried some sorrow in their hearts and she figured she would do what she could to bring a little brightness into their lives.

Standing from her chair, Camilla made her way out to the garden and grabbed the woven basket sat on the stool and beginning to pick some of the vegetables that were large and ripe. She picked off 3 bell peppers, 2 yellow and one green, a couple Roma tomatoes and snipped a handful of cilantro, placing them into her basket. Once back in the house, she headed to the kitchen, washing the vegetables and drying them. She pulled out one of her reusable grocery bags, unfolding it and placing the vibrant vegetables inside with a smile. After the kindness that Felipe had shown her, she figured it was only right to pay him back.

The bell jingled as Camila walked into the carniceria, looking around to see if Felipe was in the front. Finding the counter empty, she looked around, seeing a taller man walking out from the back of the shop. He wore the same kutte that EZ wore and the same bright smile, though there was a hint of a smirk in this man’s as he looked at her.

“Hi, I’m Angel.”

“Nice to meet you, I’m Camila. Is Felipe in?”

Just as she asked the question, the white-haired man stepped out from the back, walking around Angel to greet Camila.

“Hola, nena.”

“Hola Felipe.”

Both men looked at her as she walked over to the table in the shop, placing down her bag and motioning for Felipe to go over to her with a smile. With furrowed brows, he walked around, heading over toward where she stood with her hands digging in the bag.

“I figured, you always help me out telling me where to shop at, you stayed open that first day I got here even though it was late. I had the day off today so I brought you some stuff.”

Felipe’s eyes watched as she pulled the vegetables out from the bag, their skin bright and plump. She handed them over to him and explained with a soft smile.

“I know you said you liked to cook so I thought these would come in handy. They’re kinda small, but they’re fresh and I don’t use any chemicals pesticides so. Its just me at home so I thought I could share them with you.”

Camila began to ramble slightly as she started feeling like maybe doing this had seemed like a better idea in her head, the confused gaze of the man named Angel on her making her slightly nervous.

“You know, maybe make some pico de gallo or fajitas with them. It’s cool if you don’t want them. I just thought…”

Camila quieted down as Felipe reached out with a smile and put a hand on her shoulder.

“They’re very nice mija. Thank you. You grew them yourself?”

Camila nodded excitedly, not feeling nearly on edge now that she knew he liked her gift.

“Yeah. I started a garden as soon as I moved into the new house. I always gardened with my Abuelita and we grew a lot of our own produce so I wanted to get back to that. It’s not finished yet but it’s getting there.”

Felipe gave another smile, his eyes staring down at the produce. His voice was quiet as he spoke.

“My wife, Marisol, used to garden. She was more into flowers than produce but she loved the process just the same. Every Sunday you would see her out there, big hat on, pruning her roses.”

He was quiet for a couple of seconds as he got lost in his thoughts, Angel looking at him with an unreadable expression. Finally, Felipe looked back up towards Camila, a true smile on his face.

“Thank you. I see you’ve met my other son, Angel.”

With eyes widening, Camila smiled again feeling more at ease.

“Oh, yeah. He just introduced himself. I didn’t know you had another son.”

The small smile that Angel wore faltered a bit and Camila noticed, not knowing if she had misspoken or put her foot in her mouth. Feeling like she somehow had, she looked between the two, grinning.

“It’s nice to meet you though. I met EZ and now him. Do you have any other children?”

Felipe nodded and reached over to roughly clap Angel on the back.

“Nope. Just my two boys.”

There was a bit of an awkward silence as Camila stood there, still wondering what she had said wrong and she tried to break the ice once again, hoping not to leave a negative impression on the Reyes brother.

“So, who’s older, you or EZ?”

Angel smiled and turned his chin up a bit, a proud smile on his face.

“Me. EZ’s the baby.”

Camila nodded, falling quiet and it was Angel who spoke first this time.

“You come here often?”

She looked at him and he winced, holding a hand up.

“I ain’t trying to pick you up or anything, I was just asking. I see you and pops know each other so I was just wondering.”

They both laughed, Felipe not really paying any mind to either of them, more focused on putting the vegetables away carefully to take home.

“Once a week or so. This was the first carniceria I saw when I moved so I’m loyal to coming here now. Especially considering your dad didn’t kick me out when I came in here like 45 minutes late.”

Felipe chuckled softly in the background at her comment while Angel put the pieces together in his head. About how Felipe had said he’d had a new customer that came in late a couple weeks ago, how EZ had bumped into her once at the shop as well, then realized she was the same new girl that was working at the bookstore. EZ had spoken about her once or twice, saying that she and Felipe had developed and acquaintanceship. Even if they had only met twice, Angel could tell that EZ was somewhat interested in her and he was happy to hear it, hoping that maybe finally he would find someone else and get over Emily. All he wanted was for his baby brother to be happy.

The two continued to make small talk until Felipe had a customer come in. Looking at her watch, Camila shrugged and took a deep breath.

“Bueno, I gotta get going.  I have a couple errands I have to run. It was nice meeting you though.”

Camila stuck her hand out and Angel took it in his, her hand being engulfed as they shook. Grabbing her bag, she stood from the chair and waved to Felipe as she headed towards the door.

“Adios.”

“Adios, Camila.”

She walked out of the shop and got into her car, recalling the look of appreciation on Felipe’s face when she gave him the vegetables with a smile. Starting up her car, she pulled out around Angel’s bike and drove further up the street to the bookstore, figuring she’d stop in and get a cup of coffee before going shopping. Pulling up in front, she hopped out and headed inside, going up to the front desk to say hi to Mr. Salvatore before heading to the café and getting in line.  She was reading the menu up on the board when she heard someone call out to her.

“Hey, Miss Camila!”

Turning with scrunched brows, she found the high schooler Ethan jogging up to her, a wide grin on his face.

“I got a 97 on my new presentation! That bumped me up like 8 points so I have a B+ in my class now.”

Her smile grew to match his and she reached over for a high five.

“Good job! I’m proud of you.”

The kid’s smile dropped momentarily before he beamed again, a pink hue showing up along his cheeks and the tips of his ears as he slapped his palm against hers. He looked down at his shoes for a moment.

“Never really had anyone say that to me before.”

Camila’s heart clenched and she had to try hard to keep her features neutral. Squeezing his shoulder, she pulled him towards her in line and repeated herself.

“Well I’m proud of you. If no one else is, just know that I am.”

The kid blushed further and she pointed up at the menu.

“Order whatever you want, my treat.”

“I mean it isn’t terrible. My mom tries you know. She has to work two jobs to be able to pay everything so she isn’t home much. Never met my dad so it’s not like he’s there to help out with the bills or my younger siblings. I just wish I had more support at home I guess.”

Camila nodded as she listened, sipping at her latte as Ethan opened up to her about his home life. She had learned a good bit more about him over the last 30 minutes, the two of them enjoying a coffee and getting to know each other a little bit more since they weren’t pouring over a PowerPoint this time. She’d learned a lot about him, the main thing being that he was a lonely kid just trying to figure things out with next to no support at home. She felt bad for him and figured if nothing else, she would be the support he needed. They continued to talk, Camila looking over instinctually as the front door of the bookstore opened, EZ walking in. He looked around the store, searching for something and coming up blank before turning to Mr. Salvatore. The two of them spoke for a moment before Mr. Salvatore pointed over to Camila. EZ turned and looked at her, that smile coming to his face as they locked eyes. It was Ethan’s voice that brought her attention back to him.

“Is that your boyfriend?”

Camila’s head snapped over to him and she shook her head quickly.

“No, no. He just comes here sometimes. I know his dad.”

The high schooler nodded exaggeratedly with a knowing smirk.

“Riiiiight.”

Camila laughed, shushing him quietly, willing him to drop it but the boy continued.

“You both like each other. It’s pretty obvious.”

She opened her mouth to defend herself but Ethan butted in again.

“I saw you two making googly eyes at each other last time I was here. I ain’t blind. Look! He’s coming over right now.”

Camila’s eyes and head swiveling over to see EZ making his way over to the both of them. That million-dollar smile was still on his face and he waved to the kid before addressing her.

“How’ve you been?”

“I’m good, you?”

“Good. I was just stopping in before I head over to Pop’s shop.”

“I just came back from there. Met your brother.”

EZ laughed and looked out the window.

“Hope he wasn’t too annoying.”

They both shared a laugh, the moment broken by Ethan clearing his throat, a smirk fighting its way onto his face. EZ noticed and held his hand out to the kid, shaking it firmly.

“Sorry man. Didn’t mean to interrupt you guys.”

Ethan shook his head quickly and stood, giving her a look before turning back to EZ.

“I was actually just going. Why don’t you sit, catch up?”

Ethan motioned to his chair and she made a mental note to pinch him next time she saw him.

“You sure?”

“Oh yeah, I’ve got stuff to do. See you around Camila.”

Ethan quickly gathered his stuff, nearly leaving the bookstore but not before wiggling his eyebrows at her as he did. EZ took a seat where Ethan had been, motioning to her coffee.

“I would offer to buy you a cup of coffee but…”

She smiled softly and shook her head.

“Don’t worry about it. Next time. You here for more books?”

EZ’s gaze on her sobered up some and he nodded quickly.

“Yeah. Yeah. I finished the first three so I was just checking to see when Sal wanted me to come back to drop them off. So, you met Angel?”

She couldn’t help but feel like he was trying to change the subject but she followed along anyway.

“Yeah, he was there when I went over. I took some vegetables. I finally got my garden going so I thought I could give your dad some.”

EZ’s trademark smile came back to his face.

“Thanks for doing that. Thinking about my dad I mean.”

“Oh no problem. It’s only fair.”

There was a comfortable silence that fell over the two of them as Camila took a large sip of her coffee.

“So how did you and Mr. Salvatore meet?”

EZ hesitated for a moment, not exactly sure if he wanted to tell her the truth. He had just met her and liked her; he didn’t want to drive her away so quickly by telling her that he was a felon. He didn’t want to start the basis of their friendship with a lie either, so swallowing his pride, he told her the truth.

“I had known him somewhat when I was a kid, in high school. It wasn’t until I got out of prison that we got to really know each other.”

EZ paused for a moment, watching for her reaction. He kept going when he didn’t see one.

“I like reading but I don’t really have anywhere to put books that I would buy so we set up this thing where he lets me kinda rent the books that I want for free and then I bring them back to him when I finish. Says its something to keep me busy.”

Camila smiled warmly and EZ felt his apprehension dwindle.

“That’s awesome. I wish more people did things like that. How long have you been out, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“A couple months. I got out and joined the MC with Angel.”

“That’s cool. Getting to spend time with your big brother, kinda follow him. My mom always said that everything happens for a reason. Even when bad shit happens, sometimes it has a way of working out in the end. It wasn’t an ideal situation for you, but now you get to be closer to your brother instead of drifting apart like most brothers do at this age.”

EZ nodded but he couldn’t help the feeling of guilt that bubbled up upon hearing her words. Looking from the outside in, that’s exactly what it looked like. The younger brother following in the older brother’s footsteps, wanting to be as close as possible. He knew she meant well and he appreciated it, but it didn’t make him feel any better knowing the truth behind his choice to join the MC and what was going on behind the scenes. Even still he smiled, feeling drawn to her warm and understanding nature.

He wanted to stay away, to let her start her new life in this town without any drama, but he couldn’t deny the slight crush that he had on her that seemed to grow each and every time he interacted with her. It was how patient she was, how she tried to see the positive in everything, how she tried to uplift those around her. He enjoyed her company and was about to ask her if she’d like to get lunch with him sometime when his burner rang. Pulling it out of his pocket, he cursed and looked up at her.

“Sorry, I gotta take this.”

“No, no, go ahead. Don’t worry about it.”

EZ flipped open the phone and didn’t get to say hello before Angel was talking.

“I need you to wrap up whatever you’re doing and come by Pop’s. We gotta handle some shit tonight.”

Angel’s words were very vague and may not have made sense to anyone else that heard them, but EZ knew more or less what those words meant and he nodded, Camila ignoring his conversation and looking over at a baby in a stroller that was waving to her with a smile.

“Yeah, ok. I’ll be right there.”

EZ flipped the phone closed and Camila looked back over.

“Sorry, I gotta go.”

Camila waved her hand in dismissal, swirling the little bit left in the bottom of her cup.

“That’s fine. I’m almost done. Go ahead. I’ll see you around.”

EZ stood and pushed his chair in, looking down at her with a bashful look, deciding to try his luck.

“I was serious about getting lunch one of these days.”

Camila nodded and looked down at the table to hide the goofy smile that came to her face before looking back up.

“I’ll be here.”

EZ grinned brightly, his smile squinting his eyes.

“I’ll see you.”

“Cuidate.”

He nodded and turned around, heading out of the bookstore as Camila swallowed the last sip of her coffee. Grabbing her purse, she stood and tossed the empty cup into the trash, walking back up the front desk where Mr. Salvatore still sat. He looked up from a notebook as he felt her come up.

“Hello there, sweetheart.”

“Hey, Sal.”

“Even on your day off, you stop by.”

The two laughed and she looked out the window as EZ pulled off.

“What was EZ looking for when he came in? New books?”

Mr. Salvatore stared at her for a moment before smiling at his newest employee.

“He was looking for you, my dear.

[delciasustains]

In the last two years, I have spent $0 on menstrual products, and produced <1 lb of menstrual waste.

Yes, you read that right.

So, how did I do it?

I present to you: the Menstrual Cup and the Reusable Pad

The Menstrual Cup

The menstrual cup is, arguably, one of the most just and unifying products out there. In all reality, there is no reason to oppose a menstrual cup aside from the brief training period (which often involves the “I think it’s stuck” phase and quite a lot of hands-on activity in the shower) and its original cost (which is roughly $39.99 for the Diva Cup brand). So maybe in the past 2 years I have spent $40 for a menstrual cup, but overall I’m not counting that into my total. ;) All in all, this product reduces waste, doesn’t involve putting treated cotton or other strange/harsh chemicals in your precious va-jay-jay, and lasts a long time.

While this has definitely been the ‘talk around town’ in terms of empowering environmentalism and ecofeminism, the menstrual cup definitely is a bang for the buck. Not only is it reusable for up to 10 years, but they can be used for up to 12 hours (with no risk of TSS!) 

(Source)

So, how do I wash and take care of mine?

1. Evening showers I will put my diva cup in in the morning and remove it during an evening shower, where I can easily dump all of its lovely contents down the drain. Huzzah <3 If you are trying to reduce your showers, or have varying shower times, you can easily take it out and empty it over a toilet, but it is much messier and involves having to actively run to a sink with diva cup in hand. I have done this multiple times, but still will opt for the evening shower. Then, I wash it with some Castile soap or whatever I have on-hand and hang/rest it to dry until morning. <3 In the meantime (i.e. overnight) I will use a reusable pad, which I will discuss more below. 

Diva cups are also a fantastic option for overnight use, so do not hesitate to put it right back in after emptying it in the evening! However, regardless of how often you empty and reinsert, make sure to wash it once daily, and with a gentle/non-fragrance cleanser.

On that note, it can be recognized that we are all different shapes and sizes, and this product may not have the best fit for everyone. I am one of those people, and my diva cup is regularly leaking on me. I have been using them for 2 years, and I have purchased almost all of the sizes, and it still leaks here and there. Luckily, I have found a zero-waste and low-budget solution for that too!

The Reusable Pad

Reusable bamboo pads have to be one of my favorite products as well. Not only are they super comfy and often come in cute designs, they are also much better for you and the environment (lasting up to 5 years!). These bad boys are able to absorb a hefty amount of fluids, while also locking away moisture and bacteria unlike anything a one-time use pad could do because they are made higher quality and with no plastic! However, these products are trickier for women to get the hang of, so here are tips and tricks for how I have done it for the past few years.

How do you wash it? Isn’t that pretty gross?

While the idea of wringing blood out of a pad sounds pretty gnarly, it is actually not bad at all (and something most women in the world still do today!) Of course, if you take it off and tuck it away in some bathroom cabinet, then it won’t be a surprise if it gets a little gnarly. However, this is my step-by-step guide to maintaining yours in the easiest way possible

1. Wear it when you need it! - I’m the type of person who leaks form my menstrual cup typically on day 1 and day 2, but after that I’m gucci! Sometimes, I’ll just wear black underwear and call it good (lol!) I also wear a reusable pad at night instead of a diva cup. Because of this, I tend to use about 4-6 in the first few days of my period, and I’m lucky enough to have fairly light and short periods. I would suggest purchasing a pack of 7 or more reusable pads, since we tend to push the laundry until the end of the week.

2. Wear for no longer than a few hours This is going to depend woman to woman and on flow/day of the week, but if it starts getting uncomfortable or odd-smelling, then it’s time to wash! Often times, if you simply do not have time to wash them right away, you can place them in a sealed bag (and folded) until you’re ready to wash them. Be warned though - you don’t want to leave them in there for too long because I can promise you, things will grow!!! Right after use (or if you want to wait until the evening when you’re all settled) you will want to rinse and wash all of them. So, how do you wash them?

3. Washing!

You will want to submerge them in water and wring the blood out, until the sink bowl water starts to run clear. Then, you can take soup (literally any soap -- I use Castile soap sometimes or literally just hang soap sitting by the sink) and rub it into the pad. Sometimes, I scrub in circular motions with my fingernails or finger pads, and it helps to pull out anything left in there. 

Afterward, you can submerge it a few times again, and push soap and water out from one end to the other (down the length of the pad). This helps ensure you are running water through it. 

Lastly, wring it and hang it in a breathable place! While they can be used again after they are dry, I personally only wash them to prevent any smell or bacteria until laundry day, and will throw them into my hamper when they’re dry. Sometimes, I will also wash all of them right before doing laundry. They are washer and dryer machine safe!

Over time, you get the hang of washing them, and of knowing when to wash them too!

Okay, I’m convinced. Where do I buy them?

While I personally got mine from Amazon and spent about $20 on them, I would encourage everyone to locally source their products if possible. Another friendly service which empowers small entrepreneurs is Etsy. These are some of the amazing products they provide in terms of reusable pads!:

Reusable bamboo panty liners if you spot (like I do!) and want something thin and discreet, 3 for only $8 (and they come in increments from 3-24) by creator TheRainbowEucalyptus

Overnight organic bamboo/hemp/cotton pads for $8.50, including a variety of customizable lengths! by creator sacredspiralcreation

Organic bamboo charcoal fleece variety pads, by creator MamaBearBabyWear. There’s so many options!!

Conclusion

Hopefully this information provides insight into my zero-waste menstruation process, and inspires you to make that shift as well! While sometimes people ask “why wash pads so often?” or are reluctant to use products like menstrual cups and reusable pads because of the direct nature of them, I believe it gets us in touch with our body, our bodily autonomy, and staying attuned to our bodily processes. Yes, it’s easy to just throw a tampon in and call it good (and not even have to get your hands dirty!) but then it is much more difficult to see flow cues and even cues your body may be telling you. If the environmentally-friendly, empowerment, and cost-friendly aspects aren’t enough to convince you, imagine being able to constantly brag about not having spent a penny on menstrual products for years to come! Score!

Overall, I would recommend these products, and I am always available through messages or delciasustains@gmail.com if anyone has any questions or would like to talk about it. Good luck on your sustainability journey!!

xx

[timelock97]

Love Without A Name

Chapter Five: The Morning Of

Word Count: 2605

Masterlist

Warnings: Language

A/N: I used a church setting, I have never been to another wedding besides catholic weddings so I skipped the more religious parts just to let you know in advance!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Wakey, wakey, bitch!" Celine yells, walking into the shared hotel room where Mae, Joyce, and I had been previously peacefully sleeping. "It's show day!"

"Correction" Mae murmurs, muffled against her pillow, "it's her wedding day, not a show day."

"Hush, it's still gonna be amazing!" Celine jumps on the bed and begins to bounce on her knees until she is practically on top of me, "C'mon, you still gotta shower and eat. Then we can head to the church!" When I don't move, Celine turns until her back is facing me and plants herself on top of me, a groan leaving my lips at the sudden weight." C'mon (Y/N), it's the big day!"

"Please tell me you at least brought breakfast?" I uncover my head slightly, peeking out from under the duvet to find her eyes in the dimly lit room.

"You know it!" She calls as sits up and bounces to the end of the bed. Once off, she takes the last bit of effort she knows will force me out of bed by flinging off the covers, revealing my pajama clad body that was no match against the small chill in the room. She makes her way back to her backpack where she begins to pull out three other Starbucks reusable cups from inside. How she got back here without spilling them is a mystery in itself.

I groan, finally rolling out of bed and making my way over to have a small sip of coffee and attempt to snatch a bit of one of the bagels she has brought with her, only to have my hand slapped away.

"Nope! This will be waiting here for you after a quick shower! The hot water will cause you to not digest as easily!"

"Who told you that, Cel?" I grumble, taking my coffee with me to the small bathroom.

"You did!" She sings back, a breathy chuckle leaving my lips as I shake my head at her.

Shutting the door behind me, I lean against it. I take a slow breathe in through my nose, and let it out slowly through my mouth before meeting my own gaze in the mirror. My pajama shirt was falling to one side, and pulled forward so that the collar of the shirt showed off the bareness of my chest. My hair that had been up in a bun before bed was falling out excessively around my shoulders. I can't help but smile at my reflection. "Today's the day." I whisper to my reflection. A small squeal falls past my lips as I begin undressing before hopping into the shower to wash the grim of the night away. Taking the time to exfoliate and shave, making sure to not miss any spots (or at least trying to), nearly cutting myself when a loud bang comes from the door.

"Your food's gonna be cold, let's go our beautiful bride!" Celine calls, making Mae and Joyce giggle along with her.

"Be out in a minute!" I call, rinsing out my hair out one more time before turning off the water and hopping out. I lather lotion down my legs and arms before dressing into a tee shirt and shorts, throwing my hair into a clip, and joining the girls back at the table. Today was the first day to the rest of my life.

When we arrive at the church, I take a minute to wave the girls off to the room we'd be spending a few hours in before the ceremony. I stand in the main space looking at the little kid drawings from past Sunday school classes and events. I walk slowly over to the main doors of the church hall, placing my hands on the handles and pushing them open. The room was dimly lit from the morning light flooding in from the vast windows. The pews were decorated with small flower arrangements, bits of lavender and forget-me-nots shining through the most. I brush my fingers against a few of the petals as I walk down to the first pew. I sit softly, fold my hands, and shut my eyes, letting any insecurities into the air to be filtered away from my heart for the remaining afternoon. Please, please, please, let today go better than planned.

"Hello." My head snaps up to look at the man in front of me; I immediately recognize that he had to be the priest. "Having a nice conversation?" He smiles gently before motioning if he can sit down.

"Yeah," I move to the side a bit so that he can sit beside me. "It helps with the stress, getting all my anxieties out to him, and making a few wishes too."

He hums, nodding his head. "What are some things you're wishing for?"

"Uh, a happy marriage," I giggle, watching the smile spread further across his face, "That everyone enjoys the day, that my fiancé isn't disappointed in who I am."

His eyes light up, smile growing impossibly bigger. "So my suspicions were correct, you're the bride."

"Yeah," I stick my hand out for the man to shake, "I'm (Y/N)."

"Father Richard Hall. Your fiancé has been excited for this day for a while; told me all about you."

"Really?" I giggle.

"Mhm," he lets go of my hand after giving it another firm squeeze. "Talks about how beautiful and how down to earth you are; says he couldn't be getting married to a more perfect girl."

"He hasn't even seen me-"

"Love doesn't have to see to know." He gives me another smile before standing, "Well, I will leave you to finish your conversation. It was nice to talk to you." He waves softly before walking to a side door and disappearing inside.

I let out another sigh before standing, walking out the main doors, and down the hall looking at all the signs to point me and my soon-to-be husband in the right direction without bumping into each other. The conversation between Mae, Celine, Joyce, and Hazel lead me to the room, the three of them giggling while a woman is set at the counter pulling out makeup and hair products as well as another woman who has her camera ready to take pictures who smile happily at me when I enter.

"There you are!" Hazel proclaims, walking away from the girls to pull me into a quick hug. She is dressed in a royal purple, knee length dress with capped sleeves. "Get changed, then Miranda can get started on your hair!"

I giggle and nod, walking past the girls who make a few silly faces at me as I pass before slipping into the bathroom and undress, changing the bra and panties for a nude pair and a body shaper, pulled and clipped to the bra to keep me looking slim. I grab the robe and slip it over my shoulders, tying it around the waist before stepping out and walking over to the woman who would be doing both my makeup and hair today.

"You ready, darling?" She muses, smiling at me through the mirror, hands already unclipping my hair to play with.

"As I will ever be," I whisper as she turns me away from the mirror.

Through the whole process of getting my hair and makeup done, I busied myself by conversating with Mae and Celine, checking with Hazel about a few things for the day that she had kept hidden from me (most at which she still did), and playing on my phone to post a few pictures from the past week.

"Alright, (Y/N), are you ready to see your final look?" Miranda giggles, standing in front of me.

"Turn me around!" I place my hands in front of my face as she does. A soft gasp falls past my lips, "Holy cow!" I tilt my head to the side; the half up half down curled hairdo framed my face perfectly, and let's not gets started on the make-up. She had done it naturally, making my eyes pop and gave my skin a healthy glow. "Miranda, I love it, thank you!" I turn in the chair to the side so I can stand and pull her into a warm hug.

"No problem, sweetie. Let me spray your face with the setting spray then we will be done! And I will stick around to make sure you don't need a touch up before or after the ceremony."

"I appreciate it," I giggle, shutting my eyes for the setting spray, the mist cooling my skin. "Now I just have to get dressed!"

"I am gonna step out for a few minutes, no misbehaving!" Hazel calls with her phone going to her ear, leaving us alone in the room.

My eyes dart over to Celine, who was already dressed in her light salmon pink dress that billows around her waist. She makes eye contact with me, shooting me a mischievous smile. "You think you can sneak out and deliver it now?"

"Oh hells yes, she won't even notice I'm gone." Celine walks over to me, her heels clicking against the hardwood floor.

"What did you do again?" Mae laughs, walking over to the two of us, Joyce not too far behind.

"Well, my fiancé likes Marvel stuff too, Spider-Man especially, so I got him a pair of socks and a note that says, 'just in case you get cold feet, I'll see you soon.' as well as a few other things that are for his eyes only with my name signed at the bottom; figured it would be nice since we haven't heard from each other in a week."

"Hand it over before I get caught!" Celine giggles, taking the small box from my hands. "Wish me luck! Get changed so we can do some quick girl photos before Hazel kicks us out."

"Luck!" I call as she slips out of the door. I turn and grab my wedding dress from off the hanger. "Wait, Cathy?" I look at the photographer, "did you happen to get a picture of the dress on the hanger?"

"Yup, you are all set, (Y/N)."

"Okay, perfect," I slip off the robe, not bothering to care about who was in the room since it was just the girls. I slip on the dress, Mae helping me fiddle it into place and zip me up. I turn and look in the mirror and let out a soft sigh, "Oh my God."

"You look beautiful, (Y/N)." Mae whispers, moving a little closer beside me; Joyce joining on the other side bouncing on the balls of her feet in agreement.

"You really do, sis." A voice mutters behind me, causing me to spin on the balls of my feet to see Lucas and Mark standing in the doorway, tears pricking their eyes.

Mark nods, lifting a hand to carefully wipe a tear from his eye. "Look gorgeous, pipsqueak."

"What are you two doing here?" I breathe, a hand coming to my chest to hold a small necklace that had been my grandmothers and the other goes to holds Mae's for comfort. My bare feet feel glued to the hardwood floor, but I want nothing more than to close the distance and to see my brothers up close after four months silence.

"You really didn't think we would miss our baby sister getting married, did you?" Mark snarks.

I turn my head to the side, the hand on my necklace tightening. "Honestly, yeah I did." I look up to see both their faces fall, but I continue, eyes directed at them only. "I figured I would, and that really broke my heart. But seriously, what are you two doing here?"

Lucas runs a hand through his hair before letting out a light laugh. "Your fiancé paid us a visit at the shop."

"We were pretty surprised too. He walked in, gave us his name and said he was the man that was marrying our little sister." Mark states, scuffing his foot on the floor. "He hoped if he were to tell us about how much you meant to him and how lucky he was to have you that we would come around."

"He said, and I quote, 'I fell for your sister without knowing what she looked like, it's the most simple of love I have. I don't have to be able to see her to know she is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. I know she wants you to be there, you're her family, so I am trying to make it right by coming by and talking it out.' We were definitely surprised to say the least, but we decided that we still don't like or trust him, but we respect him." Lucas smiles gently, shrugging.

"And we love you, and we want you to be happy, so here we are. Ready to support whatever decision you make, even if we think you aren't making the best decision."

"And Mom and Dad?" I whisper.

"Waiting for us to apologize in case it went south." Mark laughs, quickly getting elbowed in the ribs by Lucas. "What, it's true!"

"Then go grab them, dipshit-" Lucas shoves him to the side.

"Hey," Mark points a finger at Lucas, "we are in a church-"

"Right, my bad. Go grab them, ya narwhal."

Mark rolls his eyes at Lucas and walks to the door, motioning just outside the door. My parents walk in and my mother lets out a gasp when she sees me, her hands flying to her face to attempt to fan away the tears. "Look at you, baby, you look so beautiful."

I pull her into my arms, hugging her tightly once she is close enough. Soon I look over her shoulder at my father. "Daddy?"

He visibly swallows, tears in his eyes. "Will you still allow me to walk you down the aisle, (Y/N)?" He whispers, tears finally falling. I reach for him, pulling him into the hug as well. Lucas and Mark quickly join, squishing me between the four of them.

"I love you guys," I whisper, going to wipe my eyes only to realize I had makeup on. "Fuck, Miranda, help." I whine.

She giggles from her place on the wall before walking toward me. "I can fix that."

"Thank, God." I giggle, "I don't wanna look like a raccoon walking down the aisle."

The door creaking open catches my attention, as well as everyone else's. "My other un-biological baby sister, where you been?" Mark calls, pulling Celine into a quick, tight hug.

"Running an errand for your actual sister." Celine states, but I can hear the slight, nervous tremor in her voice.

"You okay, Cel?"

"Yeah," I watch as she straightens up, giving me a bright smile before setting a small piece of paper on the counter. It has your name on it, and the handwriting almost looks too perfect. "I got this for you, but let's take pictures first yeah?"

"Yeah, then you guys can go find your seats." I state back, standing and grabbing the girls for a few pictures as well as my family. Once done, and everyone is still mingling, my eyes find the envelope that was left on a small coffee table. I grab the it, and tear open the top, fishing my hand inside to grab a piece of stiff card stock.

___

My love,

I hope you don't get cold feet either. I am beyond excited to finally see you. 2 o'clock cannot come any faster. See you soon.

I love you.

Thomas Holland

___

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed! Let me know what you think! 

@revenantwriting | @bellagrayson-wayne | @jackiehollanderr | @snowxbarryxendgame | @let-me-luve-you | @mybitchborky | @linnyalou | @fanficscuziranout​ | @literallytrashhhhhh | @akweenbitch | @marveltomjunkie

[folerdetdufoler]

about a minute after i pulled away from my house on tuesday i realized i forgot my pink face paint but it was already too late to turn around. doing something like that would cause the dominoes of delays to topple and i wouldn’t actually make my flight. for that sacrifice i was rewarded smooth travel, but that meant my friday was a little less...fredag-y. alas.

i woke up for the sunrise again, and was rewarded with a mostly clear sky. the weather was turning out better than expected, which was good because i was planning on some walking today. the night before jenn invited me to ett bord for lunch, so that was my first scheduled event for the day, but i had some stops i wanted to make for personal, skam-related reasons.

after a leisurely breakfast i got dressed and applied sunscreen. then i messaged with nadège to figure out where to meet up on my way to nissen. i wanted to visit the national gallery, even though it was closed, as just a final nod to the museum that inspired rule of seven. we managed to message a firm meet up and then completely miss each other on the street, but we got our shit together eventually and made it to the museum. it was a little sad, if only because another tourist came up to us asking where the entrance was, and we had to break the news that the museum was closed at that location. granted, it was probably confusing seeing us taking pictures of the building as if it were still an active site, but still less confusing than the instructions i tried to give them about visiting the new museum in 2020 (uhhhh wtf kerry).

we moved on. we went to the school for no reason other than to step back into that world for a little bit, check up on the benches. we went to the KB for a drink, and then walked to the restaurant. i’m glossing over most of this because a lot of what was said during this time made me uncomfortable, and it all kind of built up over the next few hours until i snapped at lunch. i didn’t speak out or anything, i just capslocked on twitter once and then tried to tune everyone out. for some reason the restaurant was playing exclusively ed sheeran songs, so i just listened to that instead. i plucked heads and exoskeletons off of shrimp and drowned myself in lukewarm pop music.

the food was good. it was the first time i’d eaten shrimp like that. i don’t know what i was expecting, ordering “norwegian shrimp,” but that was exactly what it was and i shouldn’t have been so shocked. but in general i powered through.

after lunch i went back to the hotel to change before the park. i didn’t have my face paint but i was going to wear a skirt because it was robyn and apparently “one step up from the bare minimum” is my love language. i fell asleep at some point in my preparations, and woke up with my thumb still scrolling through instagram. then i was late, and missed seeing girl in red. but i found my girls as they migrated to the next stage, and was blessed with an absolutely electric performance from christine and the queens. it was another artist i’d never listened to before but i instantly regretted that; she blew us away with her energy and attitude and message, pumping out songs that your heart somehow already knew. it was a good mood-lifter, which i sorely needed after that afternoon.

okay well hold the phone because it’s been weeks since i started writing this post and i definitely lost my train of thought. after christine and the queens we went to get food. after we found a table to sit at, jenni, taru, and kati found us to do some hilarious candy trades. i was not aware of how valuable reese’s are overseas. but the point of mentioning this is that i was being wildly rude to these women because i was not sure who they were, and thus acted very cold. jenn had actually introduced me to jenni the day before and i simply did not connect her to the person i had chatted with online, someone i already knew. so i just compartmentalized them into “oh these are jenn’s friends” and kept myself out of their conversations. it’s kind of a generally rude thing to do, to shut myself off instead of trying to integrate with small talk, but here it was extra rude because i seemed to be ignoring the fact that we’d already “met.” gah! also i’m not sure when i finally connected the dots, but it was late enough to feel deep embarrassment about it and not really figure out how to apologize about it. so i didn’t. i think i tried to be more friendly when we met up the next day but knowing me i probably wasn’t. anyway, i apologize both for how i acted and for not acknowledging it/apologizing for it in person. i usually have a good reason for being rude, but this time it was just...insecurities? ugh.

okay so...the rest of the evening was just ROBYN. we tended to always gather around the same location, stage right, not too close but decently close because i fucking flew to oslo for this. and with every successive evening, the crowds were packed in tighter and more likely to dance. i was still trying to get used to the general lack of personal space but pretty early on i just gave up trying to stand my ground, letting people push past me and not worrying about who i was pushing in return. like, no one was going to win the fight for whatever little patch of grass you were standing on.

it was also an interesting experience as someone who is very aware of how much space she takes up in this world (too much!), being forced to acknowledge that constantly by the pressure of other people against my front and back. it didn’t help that i was wearing a backpack. but most of the time i can ignore that “bigness” by only being in spaces that allow me to fit with ample air around me. (the closest i get to other people these days is my airplane seat.) at a general admission concert though, that doesn’t exist. so i would sing and dance and think about weighing 237 pounds. i don’t know if it was necessarily a bad thing, just a new thing, and it was probably actually good to have that constant awareness, to shrink my comfort zone. i dunno. the real fight was me going back and forth thinking “i wish i took up less space” and “you deserve as much space as any other human being.”

clearly the problem with waiting a month to write a travel recap is that it actually becomes a therapy session about things that could’ve been figured out back in the states. so let’s really move on to robyn. leading up to the festival i’d been lazily following robyn’s tour, watching her play new york city twice and eating up every fan video of “dancing on my own,” where she let the crowd sing it for her simply because they were going to anyway. i was so excited to finally be part of that crowd, to hear the music like that, in my bones. and i did.

i tried to get my picture-taking out of the way at the beginning, because all i needed was one clear photo that could prove i was there. i don’t think i actually got it, but the important thing was i put my phone away and just enjoyed the music for most of her set. i had it ready to go when her two hits started, of course, but robyn, of all of the artists i’d seen, seemed most focused on creating an atmosphere for everyone to just be in. we had billowing curtains and sensual dancers that moved the air around us, which moved us too. we all were encased in lace with ribbons in our hair.

at some point i noticed a guy off to my right who was holding his plastic cup, the reusable one meant for the festival, and it was lit up. he had turned on his camera’s flashlight and was amplifying it through the bottom of the cup. i thought it was very clever and was impressed, wishing i could pause the concert to get enough space to retrieve my cup from my backpack and join him. i wanted to sway and hold up my lighter too.

i think i pointed it out to nadège in that pantomime way, just trying to direct her eyes away from the stage and hoping she’d figure the rest out on her own. she, of course, was already aware, because she then pointed out everyone else at the concert doing the same thing. i don’t know why i didn’t see it before, why i thought only this one guy was doing it, but the rest of the joint was lit up like a candlelight vigil. (looking back at the video i took during her bows, i’m realizing i simply didn’t see it because i’m too fucking short. i had to hold my phone up over my head to see the rest of the crowd beyond the border wall of shoulders around me.) she had the whole crowd at her feet, keeping watch, sending out electro-pop prayers.

i got what i came for. i got the rush of nostalgia for bånder, the single, freeing heartbeat of everyone dancing on their own, and the press of bodies to remind you you’re not actually alone. i was in oslo, the lights were blue, and i felt the pulse that’s been keeping me company ever since the clip dropped. as uncomfortable as my body might’ve been, my heart felt like it was where it belonged.

ugh that was some purple ass writing right there. and now i have to follow it up with “and then i walked back to the hotel.” because i did. i opened a new tab on my computer, and like it’s been doing for the past nearly-three years, it directed to the skam homepage. tap, tap, scroll, and then bånder was playing, chris was dancing, and isak and even were learning what electricity felt like with just a single point of eye contact.

then i was probably too buzzed to fall asleep for another couple of hours which is always a good life choice when you’re already severely sleep deprived. but when i did eventually nod off, i did so knowing that isak and even were on their way to falling in love, and an entire park had felt it too.