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#Minecraft Beta#Minecraft Beta 1.8#Beta 1.8#Minecraft screenshot#Minecraft sunset#Taken in 2025#modded Minecraft#Noticeably Beta 1.8#NBODE#Still here...#Waiting on something I have to do for and before post 1000...#Minecraft weather
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well i haven't spilled my guts on tumblr since i was in college but it's the platform that's felt The Most Mine thru the years, so
let's talk!
i've had a huge chip on my shoulder that i wanted off before the year ends. very bad professional experience to follow
so firstly to get ahead of the speculating, i'm not naming names or anything. some of you will puzzle out who i'm talking about, but please don't bother anyone especially not on my behalf. i've worked hard to distance myself from them the past few months. shit happens, especially when you're a dumb bitch (that's me!)
but also this person was someone i considered a close friend and it makes me uneasy to possibly direct backlash at them. "then why post about it" bc i did intermittent work for them for over a year. this is just about that. so hear me out
basically it started off fine. i initially did some commission work for good pay, then was invited to become more involved with their team. unfortunately as i became more involved with their operation it became more disorganized over time. projects started then forgotten, constantly shifting schedules, lapsing communication between roles, confusing financials, and often inconsistent if not late payments. during mid 2023 i was doing colorist work, sometimes on a one day turnaround (all while also preparing drawfee's summer merch launch). the payroll wasn't set up correctly so i wasn't paid for that work for over a year (more on that later), tho to be fair that was largely my own fault at first as i just didnt realize the payments didn't go thru lol
i always consider myself decently capable of separating friendship and coworker-ship; i run a company with 4 wonderful friends, going strong for almost 5 years. that didn't really work out in this case. by early this year our friendship was on the rocks; work issues fed into personal issues and vice versa. so as the rest of this shit plays out, we had just had our first "big fight" which i felt very bad about and added to all the upcoming tension
a huge point of friction was the fact that i really wanted to work with them to make a music video for one of their songs. i've always wanted a chance to make a music video, was confident in a concept i came up with, and even did some concept art for the idea. everyone insisted they loved the concept and that we should do it, but we kept pushing it back for various reasons. it ended up becoming a huge sticking point for my frustrations, which i tried to express productively. TLDR, we eventually got around to discussing it seriously around april.
i planned to ask for $4000 with negotiable add-on for the whole project, which was my Friend Discount price. i was offered a contract for $1000 flat rate, as they insisted that was the only budget they had for it.
don't ask me why i signed it lol. i didn't even counter offer
there was some girlmath to it: i wanted an extra 1k for a student scholarship i provide every spring and well, there it was. but if i had to guess, i saw it as something i just couldn't back down from any more. i caused these folks- my friends- a lot of problems bc i dug my heels in so deep to chase this project, so fuck it we ball
i had about 4 months to solo a 3 minute music video. they wanted it done in august so they could release it before summer ended, bc "it was a summer song". to be fair i was asked if i needed them to pay for anything extra like assistants (which i would have to find and manage) but i was so immediately overwhelmed that i didn't wanna slow down to wait on that process lol. there was very minimal communication other than brief progress check-ins every few weeks. i did everything for that project myself: the original concept, character designs, storyboards, layouts, backgrounds. i even did the editing/compositing for the final cut of the MV. the only favor i did myself was limiting the amount of it that was actually animated to simple loops and motions. hardly my best work but it was work still done
i did it all in between my full time job. i ended up having to take nearly a month away from most of my drawfee duties (with the support of the others) to make the august deadline. i only ever asked for a 3 day extension (notice given about a week in advance, around the same time i was given the final song file lol). i finished the music video at 6am on the final deadline and recorded drawfee the next day on 2 hours of sleep
but it was done, coolies. the team was very happy with the final product. honestly, without getting into it, those were a very emotionally taxing 4 months. on the professional side, i regretted agreeing to the project and especially for the dogshit rate they offered. i felt like a hypocrite- as someone who always wanted to advocate for younger artists demanding their worth in a world that's getting increasingly hostile toward creatives, i failed myself
so when i met with the manager to discuss the release plan, i told them to do whatever worked best for them as i only had one request: i wanted my credit removed from the project
tbh... like... lmao this dramatic bitch right!! but really, i decided that bad practices only breed worse business. friends or not, it was unprofessional of me to accept such a low paying job so i just didn't want my name used in association. everything felt so muddled to me and i was just really tired at this point
the manager was very understanding and then offered that i could be paid more. they said that their team "was surprised" i accepted their low rate and they would be happy to up the amount. this confused me as the initial budget seemed pretty set and at no point between april and august was i offered a better rate. i knew these guys weren't made of money. so, i declined. i didn't want to put anyone out of their means over work that was already done and agreed upon. but more importantly, i was over the whole thing and didn't want to prolong the project with a contract renegotiation. i just insisted my name be removed
they decided to use a pseudonym (which i was fine with) so they could create a story about a character who made the MV (this sounds really convoluted but i don't know how better to put it without getting specific, sorry). that way if people asked about the credit, they could speak comfortably about it without signaling that something went wrong behind the scenes. ok, kind of a silly narrative imo but whatevs. and maybe this is where i finally went truly wrong but. yolo i guess
i gave the name "D. Smithee", D as in dilfosaur and Smithee as in Alan Smithee. look it up for fun film trivia ig! was it passive aggressive of me to reference that in this context? yeah, honestly. but i thought it was kinda funny and really not that deep. if it was a problem, i have other real, non-cheeky pseudonyms i regularly use. the manager accepted it and all i had to do was wait for them to post the video and i could leave the whole experience behind me
a week later i received a message from the manager that my pseudonym had been denied by the rest of the team bc one of them got the reference. fair enough lol. however, they decided that rather than ask for a different name, the were going to make one up for me that they liked and would "fit the [story]", without asking me
and that! is when i finally snapped!
i was so tired of giving them concessions at this point and having a credit made up for me without any input from me felt genuinely violating and unethical. i started to Panic bc of how stressed i was, and asked for my overdue payments (aka the $500 still owed on the MV, and the colorist rate from a year prior that was never paid even tho i reported it in january) to be scheduled ASAP as i was leaving the work discord immediately
i finally told them off for exploiting me throughout the months while i kept trying to just be nice and finish my contact cleanly. in return i was told that it was unfair to say that as i agreed to everything- i accepted their cheap rate and denied further payment so that was all settled, and it was ok to change my credit without my consent bc i "said they could do whatever with the release". i called bullshit, ended the convo as kindly as i could, and cried lol. they agreed to ditch the pseudonym and just give no credit. that night was the last i heard from anyone on that team
and the real kicker?
august came and went. then september, october... and they never released the music video
and i don't know why, because i was never contacted about it. i've been removed from the picture entirely i guess. 4 months and boatloads of stress. just. up in smoke. i don't know what i expected honestly
it's hard to not take everything that happened personally and as done in bad faith. i really do, honestly. i've had plenty of shitty deals in my almost 10 year art career, but it hits different from people you saw as friends. but to the point of "why not keep it private", i have never felt so disrespected as a professional as i did this past year. i can toy with money and credits and other formalities all i want, but my work- my ideas, my labor, my effort- is still so important to me. i felt like the biggest idiot for doing so much work, pouring so much of myself into a piece for someone's use, for what has amounted to nothing
but more importantly i hated myself for undervaluing my work, even if initially i thought this person was a trusted friend. money is not really an issue for me- drawfee is my main job and i am fine and comfortable. it's so important to pay artists appropriately but i often undersell my own work bc i value the collaboration and passion between creatives more than the reward. i think a lot of artists tend to feel the same, and it often makes us easy to take advantage of. it's so difficult to find the balance between passion and making a fair living, and i think there's some shame within ourselves when artists choose to prioritize that passion
i wanted to finally get all this off my chest bc i was ashamed of every choice i made. things like this happen all the time i'm sure and hiding these mistakes only make it easier for it to happen to other people
tldr always value your work and protect your passion from people who just see it as a product. and don't give cheeky pseudonyms i guess lol
(and again pls don't bother anyone involved about this. a lot of chaos has left my life as i moved past all this, and this is me closing a door without opening new ones hopefully lol)
this shit was truly
so ass.
but i'm moving past it now
but on a nicer note. outside of all of this nonsense, i made lots of good memories this year. i'm truly so grateful to the many wonderful people in my life who keep me going even when i fuck up big time!
and thank you to all of you strangers who, despite everything, give me the time of day. especially if you read this whole thing. you're a real one :')
happy new year!
#getting personelle#reflecting about some shit#thank u for reading or not reading just thanks for sticking around ig
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More roomate!au thoughts because, again, my brain never stops. When you move in with them, dont expect to be able to do anything by yourself ever again (unless its housework and their away), your car needs fuel? Dont worry Simon will go with you and fill it up for you and dont even think about trying to pay for it yourself, you tried once and Simon just glared at you so you tucked your card back into your purse. You need to go get a few supplies for college, Price and Gaz are joining you and giving their opinions about the best laptop to get or the best stationary (they fill out enough paperwork that they know the best ones). You're cooking them dinner, Johnnys right by your side following your every order and helping to wash up while you go relax on the sofa waiting for whatevers in the oven. And you will want for nothing, you see a pair of shoes you want while out shopping but their outside of your price range, they arrive at your door a week later just after the boys deploy, you see a pretty necklace on TV and comment on it, Johnnys there behind you fastening it just before your next night out. You lament that your mattess and bed are uncomfortable, a new one arrives the next and it just so happens to be big enough to fit all 5 of you on it.
Yeah, the boys would 1000% give you princess treatment

My mind is still on that drabble so i absolutely love this so so so very much god yes….
Original post
It doesn’t end there, of course. God, they do so, so much for you.
It’s Simon who stands right outside the bathroom door when you get sick late at night, trying to be quiet and not bother anyone yet when you tell him he should go to sleep, you’ll be fine, he doesn’t even let you finish your sentence.
“Don’t need sleep,” he grunts, pulling you against his body. Despite your protests, his warmth alone makes you melt. “Jus’ tell me what you need.”
It’s Gaz who gifts you with a surprise spa day kit after he notices how exhausted you look during your exams, gently pushing aside your laptop. “You look knackered, lovie,” he murmurs. “Let me take care of you, alright? You always spoil us when we return anyways, this the least we can do.”
It’s Johnny who immediately knows your day has been shit just from listening the way you shuffle in, shoulders slumped and head downcast.
“Someone steal yer sunshine, hen?”
“Don’t wanna talk about it, Johnny,” you mumble tiredly, yet you have no energy to refuse when he leads you to the couch. “Bad day. I’ll just go to my room-“
“Nah, none o’ that,” he shakes his head, taking your bag. “Sit down, aye? I’ll fix you up something warm.” Though he makes sure to drap a blanket over yours shoulders before he goes into the kitchen, muttering about food.
It’s Price who goes hand in hand with your safety. All of them do make you feel safe but John is just- a bit different.
Once, you were being followed after you finished shopping and like an idiot, you’d forgotten your usual pepper spray you carried. You knew you were being followed because you could feel the eyes constantly on you and you circled the same area several times. Your hands are shaking when you text him, praying to every god-
- john
- Yes, love?
You are too afraid to even crack a smile at his serious punctuation.
- someones following me idk what to d
You don’t wait for him to reply. Just nervously, with too many typos, you tell him where you are and if please can he come or any of the men-
When John appears by your side in no less than five minutes, he just pulls you close to his side.
“Come on, sweetheart.” He ushers you along. “Bloke’s been dealt with. Give me your backs, yeah? Next time tell me or any of the muppets to join you.”
Too late you notice the blood splatters on his knuckles.
Also, remember when I said the original ad had been because they wanted someone to keep the place tidy when they are away? That doesn’t apply when they are home. If they see you cleaning or cooking, they are helping- nu uh, no complaints allowed, they are not about to let you slave away when you have four very capable men at your beck and call.
Hell, once it was Johnny who saw you scrubbing the kitchen floors and he just picked you up and placed you on the counter, tsking at you.
In a few hours, John returned to find all of them cleaning the kitchen; Soap was now dusting, Gaz vaccuming, and Simon wiping the counters.
And you were bundled in the couch corner, cozy and cute.
“What’s all this?” He asked, an eyebrow raised, and you shrug.
“She was tryin’ to clean.” Johnny grumbled from the corner.
“And you didn’t stop her sooner?”
“Bloody stubborn bird,” Ghost was the one who replied this time, not even looking up.
You opened your mouth to argue, but the look John fixed you with made you shut your mouth with a click.
“Good girl.”
The warmth on your cheeks was definitely not from overworking, at least.
You mention needing new clothes? You wake up to Simon’s credit card on your nightstand with a note ordering you to use it. “Strangely”, you can’t find neither your own card nor your wallet.
You also can’t find him, but Kyle’s there and oh wow! He has nothing to do so he will in fact be joining you (and making you model the dresses and outfits and send pictures to the others so you can be drowned in compliments)!
Also i like to hc that john(s) are both huge coffee lovers and they do in fact have those huge, fancy coffee machines yk? They are insulted when they see you drink the cheap, shitty, tasteless instant coffee you are surviving on and from then on, you will wake up every day to warm, fresh coffee made for you <33
Anyways gods i love them sm can you tell 😩😩
#noona.asks#cod x reader#cod#cod x you#tf 141 x reader#tf 141#tf 141 x you#cod imagines#john price x reader#noona.writes#poly!141 x reader#poly 141 x reader#poly!141#simon ghost riley x you#simon ghost riley x reader#soap x you#soap x reader#simon riley x you#simon riley x reader#kyle gaz garrick x you#kyle gaz garrick x reader#gaz x you#gaz x reader#johnny soap mctavish x you#johnny soap mctavish x reader#call of duty x you#call of duty x reader
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You Are Also Like Me
pt.1 - pt.2 - pt. 3
cw: incest (uncle/niece but there's some faux dadcest idk how to explain... either way it's only between reader and sukuna), age gap, dubcon, freudian elements, reader's daddy issues are explored in depth, reader has family issues, fluff, angst, mutual hurt, dry humping, kissing/making out, unprotected piv sex, creampies, loss of virginity, degradation/namecalling, dirtytalking, humiliation, sadism/masochism, slight blood kink if you squint, pussy eating/ass eating, blowjob, deepthroating, spit play, cumplay, fingering, mdni, DDDNE wc: 21k a/n: im sorry the if the formatting is ass, apparently tumblr only allows "1000 blocks in a post" so i had to go through and cut a bunchhhh of paragraph breaks D: it might read better on ao3

“I want you to take my virginity.”
Sukuna’s eyes flit to yours as he takes another bite of his food, not answering right away, just watching you.
Annoying.
You put down your chopsticks and refuse to take another bite until he gives you some response.
Finally, he smirks at you, speaking lazily. “That’s a big step. You sure you’re still not just worked up from the other night or something?”
“That was like four days ago,” you hiss, “So no— it’s obviously not that.”
“I don’t know.” He shrugs as he chews. “Maybe you got all horny remembering it.”
You lean forward, teeth clenched, scowling at him hard enough to kill. “Can you please just give me a useful answer, for once?”
His eyes flicker down to the chopsticks laying across your plate of food. “Eat. I don’t pay Uraume as much as I do for you to throw a tantrum and waste your food.”
God he can really be insufferable sometimes.
“I’ll eat when you answ—”
“Eat. Now.” Sukuna’s voice drops to a stern command and he stills, watching you expectantly until you finally pick up the chopsticks and shove a bite of food into your mouth, angrily.
“Good girl.” He resumes eating, and you swear he waits a beat longer just to piss you off before finally adding, “I’ll do it whenever you sign up for classes.”
You stiffen slightly.
Classes. Six months.
You know damn well what you agreed to. Logically, it's the right move—and yet, any mention of it makes your chest tighten with a dull, anxious ache. Makes you want to think about literally anything else.
But Sukuna—in the most ironic way—is actually good at getting you to do things. You know he won’t bend on this, not when it comes to your future.
“You know I’ll have to ask my parents about that, right?” you point out flatly. “Especially if you’re financing it.”
“Already spoke to them,” he says, casually.
“What?! When?”
“None of your concern. But your mom’ll probably call you later today or tomorrow to confirm, so might as well start prepping now.”
You stare at him for a second, then just huff. “Fine. You promise?”
“Of course, princess. You’ll have to show me proof, though.”
Reluctantly, you nod.
Just like he said, the call comes later that evening—your mother’s voice neutral, if a little relieved, as she runs through application deadlines and housing options. She doesn’t say it, but you can hear it in her tone—anything to get you back on track. Back to your degree, to who you used to be.
You tell her you’ll look into it.
And you do, sort of. You open your laptop that night, click through your old student portal and check a few deadlines.
But the tabs sit there open and unanswered. Because you’ve always been like this—avoidant, stubborn when it matters most.
Maybe it’s fear. Or maybe it’s something deeper, some twisted logic that if you never re-enroll, never hit submit, then the end of your six months here won’t come, and that staying will stay possible.
That Sukuna won't actually make you go.
But as the days pass, your need for him grows heavier. Hungrier. Harder and harder to ignore. Sukuna promised you ruin and while you waited expectantly for the next three days, on edge and feeling like a fool, he gave you absolutely nothing, leaving you out to dry.
His way of messing with you, probably. Making you really beg for it.
Just like now — dangling himself just out of reach, so you’ll cave and sign up for those damn classes. The day after he told you his condition, he’s definitely started playing with you more — not cruel, but deliberate.
Close touches, subtle innuendos, intense eye contact.
In the evening, when you come out of the bathroom with your hair still damp and dressed in pajamas, Sukuna calls to you from the dining table where he’s nursing a glass of whiskey.
You expect a lecture—maybe about forgetting to empty the dishwasher again—but instead, he catches your wrist as you pass. You let him pull you in, straddling his lap, pleasantly surprised.
His fingers skim your cheek, tilting your face up to meet his gaze.
“Make sure to dry your hair before bed. Don’t want you catching a cold,” he murmurs.
You snort under your breath, but don’t bother saying anything. In your experience, explaining to anyone your parents’ age that cold wet hair making you sick is nothing more than a myth, is a futile endeavor.
But then his lips are on yours—soft at first, then deeper. All tongue and teeth and the faint bitter taste of whiskey melting into your mouth.
Your hand slides into his hair as you tilt your head back, letting him in, sighing when he nips your lip. Your hips shift instinctively, seeking friction—pressing down against the bulge in his pants in a slow, barely-there grind. His hand slides to your lower back, holding you steady, letting you move just enough to feel it.
Ever since he taught you how to kiss, it’s secretly been one of your favorite things to do with him—making out at odd, quiet moments until you’re breathless and aching without even realizing how far you've gone.
But then he pulls back, leaving you flushed and involuntarily chasing after his mouth.
You blink up at him, frowning, your thighs still tight around him—and the smirk tugging at his lips tells you everything. Abruptly, he pushes you off his lap and stands, tossing back the rest of his drink before looking down at you, smug.
“Well, I’m off to bed. See you in the morning.”
You shoot him the dirtiest look you can manage as he turns away, clearly trying not to laugh.
“Oh, and dry your hair. I’m serious.”
And with that, he’s gone—leaving you alone, warm, aching, and seriously considering banging your head against the wall.
Two more days pass, still no progress.
You want him—crave him in the way your body always does—but your mind keeps recoiling from the one simple task that would make everything easier.
Instead, you take the long way around it.
Late at night, you drift to his room like it’s nothing, one of his shirts hanging off your frame soft and oversized, paired with the smallest pajama shorts you own. You don’t knock, as has become habit lately.
He’s seated in his bed, glasses on, looking at something on his phone, not even bothering to glance up when you speak.
“Can I stay here tonight?”
His eyes stay on the screen, reflecting on his frames. “You’ve got your own room. What’s wrong with it?”
You pout a little, speaking softly, “I just��don’t feel like being alone.”
There’s a pause as he scrolls, and you step a little closer, the air thickening.
“You said you’d do it if I signed up for my classes. I did.”
You didn’t—not yet, at least. But maybe if you keep him distracted, he’ll forget about that part.
Sukuna just cocks a slitted brow. “That’s funny. Don’t remember seeing any proof yet.”
You hesitate, but decide to push on anyway, hoping you can soon make him forget about the proof. So instead of answering you climb onto his lap.
Sukuna stiffens, jaw ticking slightly, but he lets you. You lean in, pressing a kiss to his jaw, shaky fingers coming up to unbutton the top of his shirt — in nervousness, frustration, need, you don’t know.
He doesn’t react, just watches you quietly, face impassive before quietly asking, “What are you doing?”
You swallow, trying to sound as confident as you can. “What do you think?”
His hand finally moves, up your back, till the nape of your neck, and you finally think you’ve won. You lean in slightly, but then he tilts your head up, forcing you to meet his narrowed eyes.
“You’ve gotten pretty brave…”
You gulp, and he smiles — all teeth, no warmth.
“You think this is how it works? You crawl into my lap, bat your lashes, and I forget every condition we laid down?”
Your throat tightens, despising how smug he sounds.
“It’s not like that,” you protest defensively.
“No? Then what is it like?”
You don’t answer, as his thumb brushes your lower lip. “I know what you want. You’ve made it very clear.”
Then he pulls away, leaving you sitting on his lap flushed and frustrated.
“You don’t get to change the rules just because you’re impatient. Desperate girls don’t make demands.”
“I’m not desperate.”
Your second lie of the night, and both of you know it.
He snickers. “What’s this little show then, hm?”
You bristle, and he leans in, speaking softly, just a little cruel. “Show me proof, princess. Otherwise you’re just pretending you want it.”
You’re not given a chance to retort before he lifts you off his lap, deposits you onto the bed like a doll, and goes back to whatever he was looking at on his phone.
If he was trying to get through to you, it certainly worked.
“I did it.”
As usual, he barely looks at you. “Did what?”
“My application. I signed up for classes. Check your email.”
He’s quiet for a beat—then his phone buzzes, and he opens the attachment. Your name, bold and official. All real.
He exhales, something unreadable flickering in his eyes. “Tch. Didn’t think you’d actually do it.”
“You said you’d stop dodging me if I did,” you say, voice taut.
Sukuna sets the phone down, gaze cutting toward you like a blade. “And you followed through,” he murmurs. “Good girl.”
Your breath catches, pulse quickening.
Then he rises slowly, deliberate, until he’s standing in front of you. His voice drops; quiet, amused almost.
“So that’s all it takes to get you to commit to your future,” he says, brushing your hair back. “One fuck from your uncle?”
You tense, but he just leans in to whisper near your ear, “I bet your parents wouldn’t be so proud of you for going back if they knew the real reason…”
You flinch, heat and humiliation mixing in your chest because of course he has to make this as vulgar as possible.
But you refuse to back down.
“You promised.”
“I did,” he says simply. Then he cups your jaw, forcing you to look at him.
“Just remember,” Sukuna adds, gaze dark and steady, “You signed up for this.”
You don’t look away, not even as the air grows heavier, as you feel a certain thrum starting up between your legs.
“I know,” you whisper, throat dry.
He watches you for a long beat, eyes roaming over your face like he’s searching for hesitation. But you don’t give him any — you want this more than anything.
“Take off your clothes,” he says finally. It’s not a request.
You’ve done this before, you’ve done worse than this before, and somehow you’re still not entirely used to the feeling of undressing in front of someone — certainly not in front of him.
Your fingers tremble as you reach for the hem of your shirt, but you do it, breaking the silence with the soft rustle of fabric, the whisper of cotton slipping off skin, revealing the expanse of your skin.
Next your pants, pulling at your ankles before you step out of them. His gaze darkens with every inch of bare skin revealed but he doesn’t move to touch you, not yet.
He watches, waiting, expecting as your hands reach around back to unclasp your bra. It falls to the ground, exposing your tits, your tightening nipples. You stand there, bare under his eyes that roam your curves, heart thudding, trying to ground yourself.
And still, he doesn’t touch you.
“Are you scared?” he asks, voice quieter now.
You swallow. “No.”
“Liar.”
You step forward anyway, closing the distance between you, resisting the urge to cross your arms over your chest. “Do it before I change my mind.”
His hand slides into your hair, firm but not cruel, tilting your head back. He looks at you like something he wishes he didn’t crave as badly as he did. Something he wants to leave his fingerprints all over anyways.
“Six months,” he murmurs against your lips. “That’s all we’ve got. Then no more of this.”
“Then stop wasting time.”
That’s all it takes. He kisses you—nothing like the last time. There’s no pretense now, no power play. Just heat, and want, and something else buried beneath it all, something like the night he told you he wants to ruin you.
He lifts you like you weigh nothing, carrying you to the bedroom. There’s no hesitation in him, just intent.
You feel it in the way he throws you onto his bed, peels your underwear down your legs, the way he tilts your chin back to bare your throat to him, kissing it like something he owns. Kisses turn into something harsher, sucking, biting, and the rough scrape of teeth that stings enough to make you suck in a sharp breath. You know now there’ll be marks of his claim littering your skin for days after.
But when he pauses—just for a second—eyes meeting yours again, it’s not just control you see there. It’s restraint.
A question, silent but real. You answer it by pulling him down, mouth meeting his again.
And then there’s no more waiting.
There’s a sound that escapes you when his mouth finds your throat again—quiet, startled, and helpless. He drinks it in like it’s what he wanted all along.
Warm palms roam slowly, like he’s mapping out every fragile inch, learning you by feel, by the way you shiver under his touch as his he trails open-mouthed kisses down your neck, along your collarbone.
You wonder if this is what sex is supposed to feel like - being worshipped and ruined at the same time. His hands make their way to your tits, tweaking one of your hard nipples between his fingers, before he bends to capture the other one in his mouth.
You whimper a little at the feel of his tongue tracing wet circles over the areola, then sucking hard enough on the bud for it to sting just a bit before he releases the pressure again.
"You really went and did it,” he mutters against your skin. “All that pouting, all that begging... just to get fucked like a slut.”
You swallow, your own trembling hands making their way to the hem of his shirt, tugging at it, craving more of him, the feel of his bare skin against yours. Sukuna takes the hint, pushing off you with a low chuckle, just enough to pull his own shirt over his head. Dark markings crawl from over his shoulders, along his chiseled abs.
All muscle and sinew rippling under his flesh.
It occurs to you that you’ll never want a boy after this, not after you’ve been with a real man.
“It’s rude to stare,” he comments, arms flexing as he tosses his shirt aside.
“Give me some more to stare at,” you mutter shamelessly.
Eager to see him again, all of him.
Sukuna smirks, an arrogant gleam flickering in his eyes as he steps even closer, his body hovering over yours.
“Mm, you’re getting impatient again. We’ve got all night sweetheart.”
His eyes roam down to the apex of your thighs, where they’re clenching together, trying to relieve some of the ache.
“Spread yourself.”
You take a shuddering breath as you part your legs as wide as you can, heat flowing directly to both your cheeks and your cunt. He lays on the bed, and you leak more arousal in anticipation of his face right in front of your folds.
“I said spread yourself, girl. Do I have to show you how it’s done?”
You frown at him, trying to keep your voice steady. “I d-did, can’t spread my legs any further than this—”
He clicks his tongue in annoyance, before taking your hand and using your fingers spread your inner folds open.
“Like this. Hold it.”
The flesh inside is softer, more sensitive, and you cringe when you feel it cool from air brushing against the slick skin.
“Why? It’s not…comfortable…” you mutter nervously.
“It’ll feel better,” he states simply, large hands wrapping around your thighs to pull you in closer while you try to breathe and stay calm.
You trust him and hold yourself open as he leans in, and in a moment you understand what he means now — his tongue hot and insistent against not just your clit, but the surrounding areas of your sensitive inner labia.
You can feel everything, every stroke of his tongue, every small nudge of it against your clit and your sticky flesh. Bolts of pleasure light up your spine, as he works against your dripping cunt, lapping with increasing fervor. You whimper and quiver as he licks inside every crevice of your cunt, sucking on your clit, eating you out greedily.
You pant, feeling hot from your cunt all the way to the backs of your watering eyes as you twitch and tense, feeling yourself come closer and closer.
“Mmh, j-just like that, don’t -ah- fucking stop—” you whine desperately tilting your pelvis into his mouth for more, and soon you’re cumming all over his tongue, his hands keeping your thighs pried apart as they threaten to lock in around his head.
You finish, muscles laxing into a trembling mess and he intentionally gives you one last, harsh lash of his tongue right against your overstimulated clit, making you flinch in pain. He pulls away, inspecting your sopping hole, humming in approval before standing up to slip off his pants.
Down they go, and you can’t help but watch the large bulge in his boxers straining against the fabric, a wet patch already formed. They slip off and you ogle unabashedly at his large, leaking cock, his hard length swaying slightly as he steps forward, crawling onto the bed.
His mouth latches back onto one of your tits, suckling and licking gently as he strokes himself a few times.
“You’re shaking,” Sukuna murmurs, almost amused.
“I’m not scared,” you breathe, though your voice wavers.
He smirks against the slick mess on your breast. “Maybe you should be.”
His hand trails down your waist, rough palm against skin, as he finally rests his cock between your thighs.
Warm, with a dizzying weight. Soft skin against skin.
Just the sensation of his bare cock on your folds feels oddly vulnerable and intimate, enough to make your ears burn hot. Your stomach does a flip when you peer down, finally able to gauge the sheer size of him when his length is laying across your mons like this, his swollen tip reaching all the way till your navel.
Despite it, you could stare at his cock for hours.
And then it occurs to you—
“Wait, do you have a condom? I’m…I’m not on the pill.”
The words come out like a choked gasp, as though something inside you finally gives way. Your mind stutters, the fog of desire lifting just enough for the ugly reality to sink in. The heat that was rushing through your veins turns cold, a creeping dread that coils tight in your chest.
A terrible realization of what you’re actually doing. How real this all is. Because the chance of conception would be horrible enough on its own, but with a family member?
Well, that’s what the natural revulsion to incest was supposed to prevent, right?
Your body’s response is instantaneous—an involuntary shiver that starts deep in your gut, an icy feeling that spreads outward, stiffening your spine. You thought you’d come to terms with this, but perhaps you hadn’t — not all the way, at least.
“I do, but I won’t use them,” he states coolly. “I have more than enough money to afford a plan B pill if needed.”
He’s right, but still…
Sukuna looks up at your face, taking in the hesitation written all over it.
“Having second thoughts?” he asks, voice too smooth, too knowing.
Were you? You don’t know.
Because in spite of the cold, you want this, and maybe the perversion of it all makes you want it more.
“You knew there wouldn’t be any holding back if we did this, didn’t you?” He drags his cock languidly along your glistening folds, the head of it catching on your clit over and over, as he speaks.
Cruelly slow. Like he’s savoring every inch of your hesitation, every stifled breath, every twitch of uncertainty you don’t want him to see.
You can feel the heat in your cheeks, the hesitation still curling in your chest, but it’s fading. Slowly, so slowly.
Your body betrays you, the cold tightening in your stomach transforming into something deeper, more urgent with every drag of his swollen head across your clit, pre smearing with your own slick.
Your hands, trembling but eager, make their way to his chest, pressing against his skin. A part of you wants to pull back, to stop this madness—but the other part? It’s begging for more. The thrill, the perversion, it warms you.
You want to feel him completely.
“I did,” you whisper, “So don’t hold back. Even if you think you should.”
“So you’re really gonna let me do this?” he asks, his mouth brushing your collarbone, tone low and mocking.
He wants you to want him, but he also wants to test how far you’ll go — and that contradiction is Sukuna’s affection.
You should say something. Anything. But all that comes out is a soft gasp when his fingers ghost over your inner thigh.
“Don’t worry,” he whispers. “I’ll make sure it hurts just a little. You’ll remember it.”
You hate how that thrills you. That you want him more for it.
His hand slides beneath your knee, hitching your leg up around his waist. You feel everything in that moment—his breath, his warmth, the coiled tension under his skin as he presses in closer.
“Breathe,” he says, right against your lips. “It’s just me.”
He finally pushes forward to part your lips, slow and deliberate, and you gasp. Building pressure gives way to pain, sharp and acute as you feel your walls stretching to accommodate him.
It burns.
“Uncle,” you gasp, hips reflexively trying to pull away from the intrusion in your virgin cunt.
But he holds you in place, murmuring against your panting lips, “Almost there, sweetheart. It’ll get better after this, I promise.”
You believe him, but your body reacts of its own accord — walls clamping down, trying to push out the invading length.
“It w-won’t fit—“ You start to panic a bit as you feel the burning stretch.
He hisses through his teeth at the tightening of your cunt, fighting the urge to simply slam in all the way as you wince and tremble.
“Fuck, you need to breathe, I’m serious — take deep breaths.”
“It hurts—“
“Breathe.”
You swallow and nod, forcing a deep inhale all the way into your belly. As soon as you do, he slides in all the way in one final push till he’s bottomed out inside of you.
There’s a moment of stillness, where it all weighs down on you. The feel of him sheathed inside you, the stretch, his breath mingling with yours, the gravity of what you’ve let happen. What you wanted to happen.
He presses a quick, light kiss to your lips. “Good?”
“Uh, y-yes, I think so…” you reply unsurely, trying to get used to the feeling of something inside you. “Feels a little weird…”
“Mm, well we can stay like this till you’re ready for me to move again.” His lips pepper your face in gentle pecks. “I don’t mind having you cockwarm me.”
You stay there for a second, basking in this rare show of affection from him, as twisted as the circumstances might be.
And then, another deep breath. “Okay, I’m ready.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah.”
“It’s gonna hurt.”
You pull your face back to glare at him, finding his lips twisted into a smirk. “You fucking sadist, can you just do i— ahh!”
You wince in pain as he abruptly pulls out, till only his tip is left inside and he grins down at you wickedly.
“Okay w-wait not so fas— Uncle!”
Your sentence once again ends in a yelp as he slams back inside of you, hard enough to make your nails dig into his back as you jolt.
He groans obscenely in response at your heat enveloping him again, clenching down on him.
Your face is contorted now as you grit your teeth. “What is your problem?! I swear you’re doing this on purpose—“
“I told you I was going to make it hurt. Or do you not listen to the things you agree to?” he snaps back too quickly. A bit too sharply.
“I—“ Your face crumples and you swear you see his eyes soften ever so slightly in response, like something akin to pity. Maybe realization that he’s being a bit too mean right now. Especially given what’s actually happening here. You trusted him to take your virginity, after all.
You must look upset—maybe even a little scared—because something in his face shifts. That awful grin fades.
“Okay, okay,” he murmurs, his hand coming to cradle your cheek, slow, almost gentle. And then, as if to make up for earlier, “You’re doing so good for me, you know that?”
You blink up at him, breathing uneven. You don’t trust the softness, not from him. But you don’t pull away, despite your trembling. His other hand strokes the inside of your thigh—too gently for someone who just made you cry out a moment ago.
“I’ll go slow,” he says, quieter now. “But it’s still gonna hurt.”
You bite your lip, nodding slowly. He watches your expression, like he’s testing how much of your fear you’re willing to swallow for him.
“But it’ll pass. It always does,” he says, brushing your hair back. “You just have to take it. Be good, breathe through it. I’ve got you.”
He grips your hips, and slowly pulls out again.
It burns still, but less.
And back in his cock goes. You try to keep your breathing even, but it’s true, he shows restraint and goes slow enough for the pain to begin subsiding.
Sukuna watches you carefully, your lip still held between your teeth in slight discomfort, though your body starts to relax.
The pain might be fading, but you’ve heard it’s supposed to be replaced by pleasure. Except you can’t really feel any — you think his fingers felt better.
You look up at him. “More. Go harder.”
“More?”
You nod.
“Finally ready for me to actually start fucking you now?”
He smirks at the slight pout forming on your lips, soothing the slight sting of his teasing with another kiss to your lips as he begins to thrust faster. You’re not sure when but soon your fingers are digging further into his muscle, anchoring yourself there as he begins fucking you with short, shallow thrusts, and soon your mouth parts around a sound you don’t even recognize.
He groans softly in response, and it’s not mocking now. It’s something raw, something real. “There you are, my pretty girl…”
His praise goes straight to your gut, coiling in with the heat slowly building there, more of your arousal lubing your silken walls making it a bit easier for him to slide in and out.
And then he stops.
You look at him confused, as he pulls away, standing on his knees, cock slipping fully out of your raw hole. It glistens in the dim light, flushed and turgid.
“Just wait,” he says as he grabs a pillow from besides you, and drags it under your legs. “Here, put your butt on this.”
You’ve heard something about pillows making penetrative sex feel better — you figure that’s what this is as you shift downward till your ass is cushioned, pelvis raised slightly higher. He kneels a bit to the side, positioning one of his knees under the crook of your bent one, and grabs your other ankle, lifting your leg straight up.
You just can’t help the snarky words from falling out of your mouth, “Thought we were having sex, not doing yoga.”
He gives you a warning glare, the same disciplinary kind whenever you purposefully annoy him, or try to protest against some mundane chore he’s assigned to you.
And then he’s positioning his cock against your entrance again, the other hand coming to toy with your clit, making you sigh at the sensation.
“You’d better shut that mouth while I’m still trying to play nice, sweetheart.”
You want to say something but you feel the round head of his cock breaching your entrance again, and instinctively you tense up as he pushes inside.
There’s still pain, but it’s tolerable now.
Sukuna starts fucking you again, harder now, and this new angle makes you moan, back arching slightly off the mattress.
“Hnngh, m-more Uncle—” you whimper.
“What was all that you were saying about yoga, earlier?”
He punctuates his words with a sharp thrust, a high-pitched noise coming out of your throat as you savor his fat cock massaging that spot in your swollen walls that makes you feel utterly gone.
“’M s-sorry, I didn’t mean it,” you babble mindlessly, eyelids dropping as he fucks all the attitude right out of you.
His pelvis snaps forward, dark pink hair brushing against your burning skin, as he tightens his grip on your ankle, pulling your leg taut with ease.
“Silly girl,” he chides you, though his lips are pressing kisses along your ankle, down the length of your calf. “You never learn, do you?” he mutters against your skin. “Good thing I’m here to teach you your lesson over and over again…”
“Ha—ah!” you mewl when he abruptly bends your leg a bit, placing his lips to the back of your knee to suck and lick at the delicate, sensitive skin there.
“U-Uncle!” You moan and gasp in ecstasy, shivers running down your spine all the way to where his cock is thrusting into your drooling cunt.
And then you take a look at him, a good look at him, in the faint warm light of the bedside lamp falling over his features.
He’s familiar. Very familiar.
The broad shape of his muscular chest, the veins that run down the forearm gripping your leg, the set to his angular jaw as he fucks you, slight crinkles at the corners of his eyes.
You pull your leg from his grip slightly, moving around a bit in discomfort at staying in this physical position.
“Stop squirming,” he says authoritatively, like he’s talking to some petulant, hyperactive child.
“Mh, w-wait lemme just—” Soon you’re pulling your leg from his grip, planting your foot on the other side of his body as you stand on your hands and feet, arching your back, panting in desperation to feel more of him.
Sukuna lets you change positions, wrapping his arms to support your lower back as you grab his neck with one of your hands, undulating your hips so that his cock hits you in a new place — deeper than before.
“F-Fuck, greedy fucking girl—” he grits out and you can tell he’s losing his restraint now too, slowly focusing more and more on taking his own pleasure from your body rather than just giving. He thrusts into you harshly, kissing your cervix with each squelching movement, watching your tits bouncing on your splayed out torso.
“Yes, yes, fuck yes—”
The musky smell of sex, the salty tang of sweat-slicked bodies now permeates the air as you move sensually, trying to feel him deeper inside you.
“Good girl, keep going baby, just like that,” he rasps, voice rough with arousal as he ruts into you.
The furrow of his brows, the smell of his skin, the warm, steady weight of his hands holding you, supporting you.
Familiar.
“Ah, a-again, say it again, that I’m good—”
He slows down for a millisecond, eyes flicking to yours, at the needy look all over your face as you look up at him with pleading eyes, clouded and hazy with lust.
“Do you deserve that?” he breathes lowly, taking lead and fucking you harder with an intense pace you can’t keep up with. “My dumb, needy little niece. Wonder which side of the family you got all that desperation from, because it certainly isn’t mine—”
The sound of his heavy breathing, the shape of his smirk, slightly lopsided.
“P-Please!” Something claws in you, something desperate and vulnerable to hear it from him, to hear that praise and validation, god, why can’t he just give it to you—
To your dismay he sneers, too far gone in that side of him that needs to degrade you, hurt you, control you.
“Good? You’re bleeding all over my cock like a dumb piece of meat.”
“H-Huh?” You open your eyes, realizing they’re blurry with tears as you look at where you’re connected.
And it’s true, his cock is covered in streaks of red every time it pulls out to slam back into you again. Maybe the sight should’ve alarmed you, or made you feel more cautious or whatever — what it shouldn’t have done was make you moan lewdly, clenching down on his length.
Sukuna notices your reaction, and it only sends him into more of a frenzy, gripping you so tightly he’s practically holding your nearly limp body up like a doll, as he fucks your hole.
“You like that? Sick little slut—” he growls, before leaning in to whisper in your ear, “You think your dad would still call you his daughter if he saw you like this?”
Your watery eyes widen, all the air sucked from your lungs as the words hit like a punch to the gut.
That’s what it is. Who he reminds you of, why he feels so oddly familiar.
Did you forget you were fucking your dad’s brother?
The similarities are undeniable now, a physical reminder of the genes you share.
Something twists in your gut, like a writhing serpent with the realization, yet your cunt leaks more and more, waves of shuddering pleasure only growing in their intensity.
Sukuna grins at your shock, before abruptly dropping you onto the bed, cock slipping out from your abused hole.
“Straighten your legs and turn on your side a bit.”
You obediently do as he tells you, and then he’s straddling your bottom leg, folding the top one and hitching it over his waist. You watch him, spine twisted so your torso lays supine on the mattress.
His other hand grips your ass, before he thrusts himself back into the warm, wet heat of your tight cunt, stretched perfectly in this position so that he hits you even deeper, like he’s in your lungs. He watches the pout on your lips, the crestfallen expression on your tear-stained cheeks as he fucks you so good that he’s forcefully pulling moans from you.
“Still gonna look at me like that? Well cry if you need to — I’ll still be here, fucking you through it.”
And even as he’s fucking you, losing himself in your pussy, Sukuna’s mind is sharp — he knows the reason behind this change in your demeanor. What it is that’s bothering you. It's the same reason you need him, need his validation right now, his words of praise and reassurance.
You don’t care if they’re fake.
“Mm fuck, p-please,” you pant incoherently between moans, crying out when he hits another spot that makes a rush of warm liquid drip out of you, coating his cock. “B-Be good to me—”
Sukuna snickers, reveling in the way you beg. “Why? I’m not your fuckin’ dad, slut.” He slaps one of your tits, making you jolt.
“S’kuna!” you cry his name, slurred with the weight of your tears, at how cruel he's being when you feel most vulnerable.
“I’m not him,” he repeats, hand grabbing your ass, digging his nails in till it hurts. You barely notice that pain amidst everything else right now, with the way he’s fucking you stupid. “But we are blood. That’s why you fit so perfectly around me. Your cunt was made for this, sweetheart.”
He grinds his cock inside you, making you squeal in both pleasure and shame and disgust at his downright disturbing words.
“Don’t say that! You’re gross-”
“Oh please. You fucking love it.”
“I don’t—”
Your words are cut off as a large hand wraps around your throat, pressing down onto your esophagus as he picks up the pace even more, heavy balls slapping against your skin.
“Say it and I’ll tell you all the things you wanna hear,” he whispers darkly.
You don’t have much resistance in you, not when he’s ruining you like this, when your cunt is simultaneously aching and sore but screaming in pleasure.
“I…I love it.”
“Love what?”
“How…fucked up this all is. That we’re related. And that..” you hesitate, and the grip on your throat tightens, making you wheeze a bit, the words coming out as barely more than a whisper from your strained throat. “And that you’ve been like a…father to me.”
“There it is,” he breathes triumphantly, loosening his hold on your neck though his hand still stays collared around it. “My good little girl. Finally being honest for once.”
His thrusts turn sloppy as he leans down to kiss you messily, and murmur against your skin.
“You’re so perfect, you know that? Smart, capable, pretty...”
You moan at his praise, feeling your pussy clench tighter and tighter around his pistoning length. The words go straight to your core, building and building, melting with the pleasure into something that threatens to swallow you whole.
“I’m so proud to call you my niece.”
You cum instantly, wet noises spilling out at you gush slick and kiss him messily, a thin droplet of drool running down the corner of your mouth. And then with a twitch of his cock and a guttural groan, warmth is spilling inside you, the most heavenly feeling, as he fills you with ropes of his hot seed.
A few euphoric moments of him emptying his balls into you, and then the cum stops flowing and he stills his thrusts. Warm breaths fill the silence, then he’s collapsing on top of you, careful not to put the majority of his weight on top of you. Your damp skin sticks against his, and he grabs your body as he spoons you from behind.
“You feel that?” He rolls his hips, slow and deep, his softening dick squelching inside the mess of fluids he’s plugged you up with. “This is what it means to be mine.”
You take a deep, shuddering breath as he pulls out of you, cock exiting your hole with a wet pop.
And then stillness. Too much of it.
The only sounds are the hum of the lamp and the uneven rhythm of your breathing. Your body curls in on itself instinctively, sheets tangling around your legs. You half expect him to push you away as you press your cheek to his chest, listening to the slow steady thrum.
He doesn’t. And the sound of his heartbeat is the only constant you have in the chaos still blooming inside of you.
Sukuna doesn’t speak. One arm lies draped lazily behind his head, the other wrapped around your waist—possessive, but not tight. His thumb strokes the small of your back, lazy and unthinking, like he’s petting a sleeping animal.
You don’t know what you expected after — a sharp word, a joke, indifference, maybe. But not this. Not him letting you hold onto him like this. Not his lips brushing against your temple like it means something.
“You’re quiet,” he says finally, voice low and almost too soft. “Regret already sinking in?”
You don't answer with words. Just shake your head a little against him, like you're refusing to answer something you can't explain.
Numbness. And the physical need to feel him next to you. That's all you feel.
His hand moves up to your hair, fingers threading through it. “Hn. Didn’t think you’d cling like this.”
“I’m not,” you mumble, even as your fingers curl tighter in the sheet between you.
He chuckles under his breath, the sound vibrating through his chest. “Liar.”
There’s no malice in it, no mockery. Just a strange, patient warmth that makes your throat ache. And when you finally dare to glance up at him—at the faint cut of his jawline in the soft light, at the familiar cruelty in his eyes dulled by something quieter—it aches deeper.
Not regret. Something else, something softer and more tender that feels like it shouldn't hurt.
And yet it does.
But then something shifts — imperceptible, but there. The slightest stiffening of his body under yours.
“You good?” you murmur, sleep-heavy, cheek still pressed to his chest.
He doesn’t answer right away. His hand lingers in your hair, then stills. His breathing changes—not relaxed, not calm; more like he’s suddenly aware of something he hadn’t let himself think about.
The silence between you stretches, no longer warm. You’re already half-asleep when you feel the mattress shift, his voice cutting through the haze a moment later.
“Don’t get comfortable. We need to get you cleaned up, and more importantly you should go pee.”
You groan, dragging the blanket over your head. “Are you serious? I don’t need to go.”
He tugs the blanket down with one hand, unimpressed. “Yeah, well you’re still sticky, bruised and probably bleeding a little. Get up.”
You scowl. “So romantic.”
“I’m not trying to be romantic. I’m trying not to let you get a damn infection.”
“I’ll survive,” you mumble, rolling over.
And then—before you can react—his arms are around you, and he’s scooping you up like you weigh nothing.
“Hey!” you yelp, squirming in his grasp. “Put me down! I can walk!”
“You had your chance,” he mutters, already heading toward the bathroom. “You made your choice when you started whining like a brat.”
“I am a brat,” you snap, arms crossed, glaring at his jawline. “And you like it.”
“Right,” he replies sarcastically, “Or maybe I just don’t feel like explaining to your parents why their daughter has a goddamn infection.”
You let out an exaggerated sigh, but despite your annoyance, you can’t help but relax a little into his chest, finding some strange comfort in the way he holds you. Maybe it’s the fact that you know he’s right—he’s always right about these things, even when it’s irritating.
“Well actually you’d be the one explaining, in that case. Don’t want Mom and Dad to know the kinda things you’ve been up to, huh?”
You glower at him as he tries not to look too pleased with himself, dropping you clumsily to your feet in the dark bathroom. You suppress a grimace as you feel his cum leaking out of you, sliding down your inner thighs.
It’s an odd, slightly disconcerting sensation.
“Can you at least try?”
“There’s nothing!” you snap, slightly embarrassed that the topic of you peeing is still being brought up. “I went….before, okay?”
Sukuna just sighs. “Make sure you do it next time. Don’t wanna deal with a UTI.”
You make a face but he’s already pushing you with a hand on your back to step into the shower. The warm water hits your skin, and you shiver before it starts to soothe. You’re still sulking, arms crossed under the spray as Sukuna steps in behind you like it’s just another chore he has to handle.
“You gonna stand there pouting all night, or do I need to wash that attitude off first?” he drawls, already grabbing the wash towel like you’re completely useless.
You try to snatch it from him. “I can do it myself.”
“I’m sure you can, sweetheart,” he replies condescendingly sweet, though he holds the wash towel up and away. “But I can do it better.”
You glare at him, but he’s already starting to lather your arms, completely unbothered by your glare. “You’re so annoying.”
“No,” he says, deadpan, “You’re annoying. I’m just responsible.”
You let out an exaggerated scoff, but your shoulders relax under his touch. You hate how smug he is when he’s right.
“You know I hate it when you treat me like a kid.”
“You act like one,” he replies, adding more of the fragrant bodywash onto the towel, before forcefully spinning you around to face him. “Especially when you’re tired. Or hungry. Or pretending you’re not clingy.”
You sputter a bit at the sudden spray of water in your face, before finally giving him another cold look.
“Me? Clingy? Are you out of your mind?” you reply, genuinely a little offended for some reason.
He just snorts, clearly unconvinced, and drags the towel down your back with a slow, deliberate hand. “You literally cried the last time I left for more than two days.”
“That was once,” you bite back, jaw tightening. “And I was on my period.”
“You called it a ‘separation-induced emotional collapse,’” he quotes flatly, then dips the towel just beneath the curve of your ass like he’s cleaning you, though you know he’s doing it just to get a rise out of you.
You swat at his arm, but he grabs your wrist and pins it lazily against your side, still holding the towel in the other hand. The motion isn’t aggressive—just practiced, smooth, like he’s done this a thousand times before.
“Let me go.”
“No.”
“I’m going to push you and you’re going to fall in the shower and not be able to get back up because of how old you are.”
He huffs out a short laugh through his nose, clearly amused. “Sweetheart,” he says, still calmly lathering your skin, “if anyone’s breaking a hip in here, it’s you. I saw you nearly sprain your knee trying to climb on top of me last night.”
“Once again, that was one time.”
“That was this week.”
You squirm against his grip, which only tightens slightly—enough to keep you still, not enough to hurt. He lathers the soap with the cloth on your chest, then squeezes it till the foam drips lewdly down your breasts. You only notice what’s happening when he smirks, eyes trained on the bubbles traveling the curve of your chest.
You swat half-heartedly at his chest, cheeks burning. “You’re disgusting.”
He grins, utterly unrepentant. “You say that like it’s new information.”
“Sometimes I forget how unbearable you are when you get your way."
“And yet, you keep letting me have it.”
His eyes flick down again—languid, slow—watching the water and suds slide down your skin like it’s a show meant for him alone.
You roll your eyes and try to pull away. “Maybe I’m just too tired to argue.”
“Liar,” he murmurs. “You like it when I take care of you like this. Even when you pretend to hate it. Especially then.”
You stare at him like you're about to challenge him, but no words come out.
“Tell me to stop,” he says, his voice low, fingers dragging just slightly along your waist now, “and I will.”
You look at him. He’s still holding the cloth, still waiting—for once, serious.
So you cross your arms to give him another stubborn look. "You forgot to get behind my ears, by the way."
His mouth twitches—not quite a smile, more like a warning.
“Don’t push your luck,” he says, but the way he tosses the towel over his shoulder and leans in tells you he’s taking the bait anyway.
You hold still, stubbornly proud, even when his hands bracket your jaw and tilt your head just so. He uses his thumbs first, rough pads gliding just behind your ears, then switches to knuckles as if he’s mocking the gentleness of the gesture.
“Since when you got so bratty?” he mutters. "This definitely can't be the same girl who showed up on my doorsteps a few months ago."
You glare at him, lips parting for a sharp retort—but he beats you to it, voice dipping just low enough to make your stomach flip.
“She used to be quiet. Timid. Didn’t even look me in the eye.”
You scoff dryly. "I’ve always thought you were unbearable. Difference is, now I say it out loud."
He huffs out a laugh, more breath than sound, the corner of his mouth twitching. “And here I was thinking you’d just grown attached.”
“Delusional and smug. Impressive combo.”
He doesn’t rise to the bait. Instead, his fingers slide from your neck to your collarbone, slow and measured like he’s mapping you out again.
“Keep talking like that,” he murmurs, “and I’ll start thinking you enjoy mouthing off just to see what I’ll do.”
“Maybe I do.”
There’s a pause. A taut little silence between you—charged, waiting, thick with steam and something heavier than heat.
Then suddenly his grin widens, wicked and boyish all at once.
“Alright then,” he says—and then, without warning, he twists the shower handle.
A blast of cold water smacks your skin like a slap, and you let out a shriek, practically leaping backwards into him.
“Uncle!” you gasp, teeth chattering as you try to scramble out of the spray. “Are you insane?!”
He laughs—really laughs—arms effortlessly catching you as you flail, pressing you against his warm chest like you aren’t soaking and furious.
“You looked like you were overheating,” he says smugly, completely unfazed by your glare. And the ice cold water, for some reason. “Just trying to help.”
“You’re a menace,” you hiss, shivering as you try to reach around him for the handle.
His hand closes around your wrist before you can reach the knob.
“Easy,” he says, voice low but firm. “You’ll throw off your system if you change the temperature too fast too much.”
You blink at him, teeth still chattering, but he doesn’t budge. Just calmly reaches past you and adjusts the water himself—slowly, carefully—until it warms again, just enough to stop your skin from prickling.
“Better?” he asks, like nothing happened.
“You’re lucky I don’t have hypothermia.”
He raises a brow, unimpressed. “You were flushed and bratty and needed cooling off. Don’t make me explain the logic.”
“There was no logic. That was violence.”
“Soft violence,” he replies. “Therapeutic, even.”
You open your mouth to argue again, but he’s already guiding you gently under the warm spray, his touch firm and no-nonsense now. Not serious exactly, but steadier.
“Head down."
You sigh, complying, letting the water run through your hair as he works shampoo into your scalp with methodical hands—fingertips massaging a little too well for you to keep up your grudge.
“You’re ridiculous,” you mumble.
“Mm. Probably.”
He finishes rinsing you off in silence, hands steady and impersonal now—guarded, almost, like the line between teasing and responsibility has been redrawn.
Soon you’re out of the shower, wrapping yourselves in towels, drying your hair. The bathroom is silent as Sukuna brushes his teeth.
That feeling, in your stomach again. Something bitter and unpleasant. Fear? You’re not sure of what.
“Can I…sleep with you here tonight?” you suddenly ask, voice smaller than you’d like.
Sukuna pauses, eyes flicking to yours in the mirror, and there’s something unreadable in them.
Uncertainty, maybe?
You don’t want to think about it — the thought would only make you spiral. If he regrets this, if he sees you differently now. Maybe he’s even disgusted by you.
He spits into the sink, rinses, and sets his toothbrush down with a clack. For a second, he doesn’t say anything, and your chest tightens.
“Tch. You’re clingier than I thought,” he finally mutters, avoiding your eyes as he wipes his mouth with a towel.
But it’s not biting , it’s hollow. Deflection.
You flinch slightly. “Sorry. I’ll just—”
“I didn’t say no,” he cuts you off, voice quiet but firm, still not looking at you.
You freeze. “So… I can?”
He finally meets your gaze in the mirror — and for once, there’s no smirk, no mockery in his eyes. Just something tired, maybe even resigned.
“It’s your bed too,” he says after a pause. Then adds, almost too low to catch, “At least for now.”
Your eyes flit over to his toothbrush, and as quickly as you can, you reach for it. But Sukuna’s faster. He grabs it out of your hand, squeezes the toothpaste, and tilts your chin up with two fingers.
“What are you doing?” you mumble, brows furrowed.
He doesn’t answer—just shoves the toothbrush gently between your lips and starts brushing your teeth for you, slow and deliberate.
“Are you serious right now?” you try to say around the bristles.
“Mm-hm,” he hums, condescendingly calm. “Since you probably can’t do anything without me, apparently. Mouth open.”
You try to pull back, but his hand is firm against your jaw. “Uncle.”
“Shh,” he murmurs. “Open your mouth wider.”
You glare at him, cheeks puffed up, while he carefully brushes in exaggerated little circles, way too pleased with himself.
“This is so demeaning,” you mutter.
He grins. “Is it? I think it’s adorable. You’re like a spoiled little cat. All hiss, no bite.”
When he finally pulls the toothbrush away, you shove him lightly in the chest, scowling. “I hope you don’t do this with your girlfriends.”
He smirks, not missing a beat. “Well, you’re not my girlfriend, you’re my—”
"Do not," you quickly cut him off, shooting him a venomous glare.
You expect the usual smirk—that smug, needling grin he wears whenever he knows he’s gotten under your skin.
But it doesn’t come.
Instead, there’s a flicker of something else—a beat of silence that lingers just a second too long. Then he looks away, the moment slipping like steam through fingers. “Go put on your pajamas,” he says quietly. “I need to change too.”
Your chest sinks. “What? Why?”
He doesn’t look at you as he turns away. “Because we’re not animals.”
That gets under your skin. Deeper maybe, somewhere more sensitive. “Yeah, except we just fucked like animals, so—”
“It’s not about that,” he cuts in, too quickly, too quietly. “It’s just… better this way.”
You watch him, frustration rising like heat under your skin. “You said you wouldn’t do this.”
He pauses, back still turned. “Do what?”
“Draw lines.” Your voice comes out sharper than you meant it to—brittle, breaking around something you didn’t expect to feel. “You promised. Said you'd give me all of you. Until I had to leave.”
He’s quiet. His shoulders rise and fall with a breath that sounds heavier than it should. You’ve hit something, and you both know it.
You press. “What—did you think I wouldn’t actually take it?” you sneer. “And you were the one accusing me of pretending to want it.”
That makes him turn, just slightly. His eyes meet yours, and for a flicker of a second, there's something raw in them. Frustration. Guilt. Or worse—fear.
But he doesn’t argue, just exhales through his nose, tension bleeding from his shoulders.
“Fine,” he says. “Get in bed. But don’t complain if you wake up with my elbow in your face.”
You roll your eyes, but move, letting the towel fall from your body. You’re bare, except for your panties—the liner catching the faintest trace of blood and what’s left of him. You don’t look away as you straighten the blanket and peel it back, sliding under the sheet. It’s cool against your skin, kissing your chest where you’re usually too shy to sleep uncovered.
But not tonight.
Out of the corner of your eye, you catch him glancing—unsure, maybe even uncertain where the lines are anymore. You don’t say anything. Just wait, still and quiet, as he kills the light and lies down beside you. The space between you feels fragile, thick with everything neither of you is saying.
At first, neither of you moves.
You lie on your side, facing the wall. He’s behind you. Not touching, not close.
You shift slightly under the covers. “Are you really gonna sleep all the way over there?”
You meant it to sound teasing—but it comes out... needy, almost.
A heartbeat passes and then the bed shifts as his warmth touches your skin, his body fitting behind yours. Not quite touching yet, but it’s much closer than before. Tentatively, you push back, your back brushing his chest, careful not to let your ass brush up against his groin. He doesn’t pull away, just lets out a long breath, like he’s been holding it this whole time.
“You don’t have to pretend it didn’t mean anything,” you whisper.
But you know that’s not the real question. The real question is what this is, now, why he’s gone distant, why the warmth of his body doesn’t quite reach the space where you needed it to.
Guys pull away after sex — you’ve heard that. But he isn’t just some guy, and this wasn’t supposed to be just sex. There’s something more to his silence than that, you’re sure.
Or at least you hope.
That maybe the twisted, complex nature of your relationship would count for something here, where it matters more than ever, perhaps.
He doesn’t reply but soon his arm is slowly wrapping around your waist, pulling you into the expanse of his broad chest, fingers resting right beneath the curve of your breast. They caress the underside so softly it almost tickles.
And then, softly—so quietly you almost don’t catch it—he murmurs against the back of your neck,
“I don’t want to miss you.”
The closest he’s ever come to a confession.
You wake up to the smell of grilled fish and miso.
Sukuna’s here this morning. You’d half expected him to fuck off to wherever he goes for work, just to avoid seeing you after last night.
And not necessarily the sex part—but the part after, where you slept tangled together, limbs knotted, his body curled around yours. You swear that at some point during the night, between dreams, you felt one of his large palms gently cupping your breast. Not sexually. More like the way a kid hugs a stuffed toy in their sleep. Something unconscious.
Possessive yet soft.
But now, there’s nothing in his place except rumpled sheets and an empty stretch of mattress. You get dressed in your pants from last night, then pull one of his oversized shirts over your head to cover your chest. You’re not in the mood to cross paths with him in the kitchen half-naked, just to grab clean clothes from your own room. Finally, you make your way to the dining table and slump into a chair.
Sukuna’s standing at the stove, hair still damp from a shower, sleeves rolled up as he plates breakfast like it’s any other morning.
“You need to talk to your counselor today. About the dorms.”
You blink. “What?”
“For school,” he says, like you’ve asked something stupid. “Next semester starts in a few weeks. You still haven’t put in your housing request.”
You frown, slowly sitting up straighter. “Okay, well—good morning to you too.”
He finally glances over his shoulder. “Morning. Now eat.”
You study him carefully. There’s no trace of last night in his expression. No warmth, no softness, just that familiar sharp-edged irritation, like you’ve already done something wrong. “You’re being kind of a dick this morning.”
“I’m being realistic,” he replies flatly. “You want to finish your program, don’t you?”
It’s true—you do want that degree. But something about the way he says it now digs under your skin. “Yeah, but—why are you suddenly on my ass about it? You’re acting like I’ve been slacking or something.”
He doesn’t answer right away, instead sets a bowl of rice in front of you with a little too much force. “That’s not the point.”
“Then what is the point?” you challenge, looking up at him. “Why are you suddenly breathing down my neck about this stuff?”
Sukuna dries his hands with a towel, leans against the counter, and stares at you. His face is unreadable—annoyed, yes, but there’s something else under it. Distant and resigned.
“You said you wanted to go back,” he says simply. “I’m making sure you do.”
“Yeah, but why now?” Your voice rises before you can stop it. “We literally just—” You stop, cheeks burning. “You know.”
He doesn’t flinch. “That doesn’t change anything.”
You push the bowl away. “Right. Of course it doesn’t.”
The silence that follows is thick and bitter. “I’m not hungry,” you mutter, standing up.
“You need to eat.”
“Oh my god, can you stop acting like my dad for five seconds?”
He freezes. The words land in the room like something dropped and shattered. You hadn’t meant to say it but there it is, ugly and raw. He stares at you, jaw tight, eyes sharp. “I’m not your fucking dad.”
You cross your arms, scowling—but your insides are trembling. Embarrassed. And you don’t even know why. “I didn’t mean—”
“Yes, you did,” he says, voice going cold. His expression twists, sharp and mean. That look he wears when you push him too far—when he lets something rotting and cruel crawl to the surface just to watch it burn you. “As if your dad’s ever seen you naked. Wrapped around his—”
“Okay, stop!”
He doesn’t stop. Instead, his voice goes low, flat and weaponized. “Don’t pretend you don’t like it when someone tells you what to do. You melt for it. Like a fucking pet. Tail wagging the second someone shows you attention.”
He steps forward, slow and deliberate, letting the silence stretch between each word. “You want someone to feed you. Dress you. Tell you what’s good for you. Praise you when you behave. Punish you when you don’t. Isn’t that right?”
His smile is wrong. There’s no humor in it. “You don’t want a dad. You want an owner.”
Your stomach drops.
“And you’d rather it be me than anyone else. That’s the sick part, isn’t it?”
You clench your jaw, knuckled white around the chopsticks you grip so hard you’re surprised they don’t snap. “Don’t fucking talk to me like that,” you hiss, eyes burning.
His voice is equally low, gaze equally cutting. “Then sign up for your goddamn housing and make sure you’re out from under my roof in six months.”
Sukuna had almost forgotten what you were like before all this. Before you let him in.
But over the next few days, he remembers. He remembers how cold you can be. How distant. How easily you can withdraw behind those walls of yours, quiet and unreachable.
Polite, even — that’s the worst part. Not cruel, not defiant. Just... cordial. Impeccably so. With that measured tone and perfectly impassive face, like he’s a stranger you owe civility to and nothing more.
You don’t sleep in his bed anymore. Most nights, you’re behind the door of your own room. You wake up early, make breakfast before he’s even down the hall. You greet him with a sterile “Good morning,” eat when you’re supposed to, excuse yourself without fanfare.
And through it all, not once do you snap at him. Not once do you cry.
It’s this version of you — competent, composed, independent — that reminds him, with aching clarity, that you don’t need him.
You do the things he used to remind you about before he even opens his mouth. You fold your laundry without being asked. Clean your space, your dishes, your bathroom. You eat, on time, like clockwork. When you struggle with a jar, you don’t ask him. You run it under hot water, twist a rubber band around the lid, and open it yourself.
At first, it annoys him. Then, it sinks in.
You’ve always been capable. Always sharp, always resourceful. You could take care of yourself. You did, before him — before he inserted himself into your life. But now he sees the truth, that all those moments when you leaned on him weren’t signs of helplessness. They were choices.
You let yourself rest, let yourself be cared for, for once. Gave up the exhausting self-sufficiency because, for the first time, someone was there — and you wanted that someone to be him.
No it was never incapability; it was surrender.
And now you’re showing him that you can go back to holding it all again, alone, if you have to. And that, somehow, is worse than any screaming match, any slammed door. You even inform him one evening yourself — perfectly neutral — that you’ve talked to the counselor. That you’ve applied for housing, and the results should get back in a few weeks.
In many ways, you are certainly much more tolerable than before. And at the same time, in the most ironic twist of fate, he can’t stand it.
He can’t stand those guarded, polite smiles you give him. The way you clean your own dishes without being asked. How you only come to him, or speak to him, when it’s necessary. How you seem unfazed by his longer hours, how you barely seem to even care or notice.
Sukuna only realizes then how much you’d opened up to him, how much of you you’d let him see. That the clinginess, the neediness he used to tease you for—those weren’t flaws. They were the soft depths you’d chosen to reveal beneath that armor he now remembers all too well. The quiet trust behind it, the way you’d let him in. And he’d taken your vulnerability and used it against you.
Vulnerability—somehow your greatest strength. Because he doesn’t know how to show it himself. Doesn’t know how to be soft without destroying something in the process.
He knows—as your guardian—that whatever this is between you has to stop. That it’s fundamentally wrong, that you deserve a future untouched by this, by him. That you should go to school, finish your degree, meet someone your age, live clean and normal and free.
But as a man who wants a woman—wants you—he doesn’t want any of that. He wants to keep you close. Keep you his. Make sure no one else ever sees you the way he has, touches you the way he has, ruins you in the way he already has.
And gods, it would almost be easier if you didn’t look at him like that—like he’s worth everything. Like he’s still someone you want, even now. And that’s what makes it dangerous. Which is why he had to draw the line and set the goddamn deadline. Force you to take control of your own life, even if it hurts you. Even if it kills something inside him.
And the worst part is—it’s working, isn’t it? You’re moving on. Maybe not willingly, nor gracefully, but you’re moving on.
And he’s stuck somewhere between what he owes you as your uncle… and what he wants as a man.
He doesn’t say much these days to you.
But he starts showing up in small, quiet ways.
A freshly folded towel left outside your bathroom door. A full cup of barley tea placed by your laptop while you study. Groceries restocked with your favorite brand of yogurt.
Little things. Nothing dramatic, nothing direct.
You ignore them all. Not because you don’t notice — you do. Every single one. But acknowledging them would mean softening, and softening would mean giving in. And that strange, ugly ache still swells inside your chest every time you see him. So instead you harden.
When he knocks gently at your door one night, a quiet “You eaten yet?” slipping through the wood, you pretend you have your headphones on. He waits a few moments, doesn’t push. Eventually, you hear his footsteps retreat. You stare up at your ceiling and feel the guilt press against your ribs, dull and stubborn. But you don’t open the door. Not yet.
Because some part of you still wants him to feel it. That you were hurt and that you’re not just going to pretend like it didn’t crack something open. And until then, you keep that distance. Even as it eats at you too.
A few days later, Sukuna finds you on the balcony.
You’re small in the dark. Knees pulled to your chest, sleeves tugged down over your hands. It’s cold, but you don’t shiver.
He leans in the doorway for a long moment before stepping out. Doesn’t say anything at first, just pulls out a cigarette, lights it with a quiet flick, exhales a slow curling stream of smoke into the night.
You don’t look at him, but there’s that familiar ache in your chest. A tightness.
“You’re freezing out here,” he says eventually, like it’s casual.
Nothing.
He tries again. “Didn’t touch your dinner.”
Still no response, not even a shrug.
A longer pause this time. He shifts his weight, running a hand through his hair.
“You remember that stray cat? The one you used to leave food for down the block?” His voice is low, rougher. “Haven’t seen it in a while.”
You don’t respond but your fingers twitch. Sukuna stares at the side of your face. The line of your jaw, clenched tight, the blankness in your expression.
But inside, you’re fracturing. You don’t know what it is — this urge to hurt him, to dig in the knife and twist, even if it hurts you too. Some side of you that’s simultaneously sadistic and masochistic, that wants to sabotage everything good, that enjoys the mutual pain.
You suppose that like your uncle, you have a cruel streak somewhere within you as well.
It's been a full week now.
Sukuna lingers in the doorway of your room, like he’s debating whether to say something or leave. Hands stuffed in his pockets, eyes low. He doesn’t look like himself, not in the way you’re used to — no sharp smirk, no biting comment ready to tear into you.
Just that annoying silence again. Heavy and hesitant.
“You doing okay?” he asks, eventually.
You don’t look up from your notebook. “Fine.”
“...You eat anything?”
“No.”
A pause. You let it stretch out, wanting him to leave. Or maybe, secretly, you want him to stay and try harder.
“I made soup,” he says. “You could’ve just—”
“I didn’t want it.”
He tenses — not a lot, but enough that you notice. It makes you feel that rush of power, laced with bitterness. With hurt. And somehow you can’t stop yourself.
So instead you flip a page, scribble down a word you don’t care about.
He exhales sharply. “Look, I didn’t do it to punish you. I thought... if I didn’t give you a push, you’d never try. You’d stay here. Get stuck. With me.”
Now you glance over your shoulder, barely. “So you thought hurting me was a favor?” Your voice is flat, almost bored. It stings.
He clenches his jaw. “You know that’s not what I meant.”
You finally lower the pen, clipping it to the side of the notebook to close it and keep it down. Then, you turn — calm, composed, lips pressed tight.
“No,” you say coolly, “I think you meant every word. That I’m a burden. That I should get out of your hair.”
“That’s not—”
“You don’t have to explain,” you cut in. “It’s fine. You want me to move on, right?” You smile a bit. “I have a date tonight, by the way. Don’t wait up.”
It lands exactly where you intended it to. Sukuna goes still. A slow, bitter kind of stillness, the kind that simmers behind his eyes. You walk past him without another word.
And behind you, he doesn’t follow.
Your date is forgettable.
Some guy from a dating app you downloaded on impulse a few nights ago, during a moment of defiance or loneliness — you can’t tell which. He talks about cryptocurrency the entire time. You nod along, barely listening, more focused on finishing your ramen than the words coming out of his mouth.
When the check comes, he glances at it, then at you. "Want to split?"
You don’t even bother sighing, just slide your card forward and nod.
On the way home, the silence in the train feels more like relief than emptiness. You realize it then — the whole outing was a quiet attempt to prove something. To yourself, or to Sukuna, you’re not sure. All it proves is that he’s still the one you think about, even when you're sitting across from someone else. He would never ask you to split the bill. And for reasons you don’t want to examine too closely, that thought makes your chest ache more than it should.
You unlock the front door quietly, out of habit. The home is dark except for the low flicker of a lamp. You toe off your shoes, slip inside, and pause there for a moment — unsure why.
He’s not in the living room. Not in the kitchen. You glance toward his closed bedroom door
You expected to feel…something. Triumph, maybe. Validation. Or at the very least, distraction. Instead, there’s only that dull, familiar ache settling back in your chest as you wash your face, brush your teeth, change into pajamas..
You should get to bed, sleep it off. Pretend the date meant something, that it helped.
But you don’t.
Instead, like some quiet pull you can’t resist, you drift toward his door, knock once — barely audible — and let yourself in without waiting for an answer.
He’s in bed, half-asleep or pretending to be. The soft glow of the lamp beside him casts shadows over his face. He doesn’t say anything when you approach, just watches you through lidded eyes.
You hesitate at the side of the bed. Then, without a word, you crawl in beside him — careful, uncertain.
His body is warm, solid. You don’t touch him at first. Just lie there, facing away, the space between you sharp with tension. Then, slowly, you feel the mattress shift. A hand brushes your back, barely there.
You don't speak; you don't need to. Eventually, your hand finds his, and holds.
Not an apology. Certainly not a resolution. But something.
You wake up before him.
It’s still dark out, just the faintest grey bleeding into the corners of the sky through the window. His room smells like sleep and the faint woody aroma of whatever soap he uses. You’re curled toward him, one arm tucked under your head, the other resting lightly near his chest.
Not touching. Just…close.
For a while you just lie there, heart aching and quiet. You hadn’t meant to come to him last night but now, in this slow, blurry moment, you realize it was the only place you could’ve ended up.
He shifts a little in his sleep and a quiet sound escapes him, the kind that makes your throat tighten for no good reason.
Finally he speaks, voice low and groggy. “...You came home late.”
You don’t answer. Just breathe slowly, carefully.
His arm shifts, hand brushing your back again tentatively. “Was he any good?”
You let out the smallest breath of a laugh. Not amused, just tired. “No,” you whisper. “He was boring as hell.”
A long pause. You don’t look at him, and he doesn’t press. “Good.”
Another beat. You almost laugh again, but it catches somewhere painful in your chest. So instead, you let your eyes fall closed again and say nothing. His fingers linger on your back, warm and uncertain.
Still no resolution. Still no answers. But somehow, the silence between you feels less like distance — and more like a thread slowly weaving itself back together. You fall asleep like that, side by side.
A couple days pass.
Things don’t go back to normal, not completely, but the ice isn’t as sharp as it was before. You’re both still circling each other, careful, cautious. But the air between you is a little less brittle now.
It’s late morning. You’re in the kitchen, halfheartedly eating some toast, still in your sleep shirt. He walks in, dressed and ready to head out, keys in one hand, phone in the other. He says nothing at first, just grabs a bottle of water and downs half of it.
You keep your eyes on your plate, but then, casually — maybe too casually — you ask,
“You working today?”
His brow lifts, ever so slightly though he doesn't turn to face you right away.
“Mmh,” he hums, wiping his mouth. “I am.”
You nod once, like that was all you wanted to know. But the smallest flicker of something akin to disappointment flashes across your face, and he catches it. He leans against the counter, watching you for a beat too long. “…You gonna miss me or something?”
You roll your eyes without looking up, cheeks warm. “Don’t flatter yourself.”
He grins faintly — just a hint of smugness there, but it’s gentler than usual. Almost soft. “Mm. That’s not a no.”
You snort under your breath and finally glance up at him, just for a second. He’s already turning toward the door, but there’s something lighter in the way he moves now like maybe your question meant more to him than it should’ve.
And maybe your asking it meant something to you, too.
You don’t say anything else as he leaves. But when the door closes, you sit there with your half-eaten toast and feel the quiet press of his absence in the apartment. And this time, it doesn’t feel like punishment.
It just feels like… missing.
You don’t plan to wait up. At least, that’s what you tell yourself. You clean up the kitchen after dinner. Do a face mask, scroll on your phone. You even get in bed at a decent hour, lights off, pretending you're tired enough to sleep. But you don't; instead you just lay there, staring at the ceiling, wrapped in too many thoughts and too much quiet.
You hear the front door open sometime after three in the morning. The soft shuffle of his shoes being kicked off and keys landing in the bowl.
You could stay in bed. You should. But before you can put thought into it, you're getting up and padding out into the hallway quietly, not sure what you're doing, until you catch sight of him in the living room — jacket off, sleeves rolled up, rubbing his neck like it’s been a long day.
He hasn’t noticed you yet. You hover a moment, then casually speak up, your voice quieter than you intend. “Late.”
He glances up, just a little startled. But his gaze softens when he sees you — rumpled from bed, arms loosely crossed like you’re pretending this is some kind of ambush and not the result of waiting for him for over three hours.
“Didn’t mean to wake you,” he says.
“You didn’t.”
He doesn’t say anything right away. Neither do you. There's a quiet tension that might’ve been awkward once, but now just feels…careful — like both of you are trying to speak without saying the wrong thing.
Then, after a moment, he gestures with his head toward the couch. “Wanna sit with me for a bit? We can watch TV or something.”
You hesitate but only for a second. “…Yeah,” you murmur. “Alright.”
You curl into the corner of the couch, and he sits down beside you — not too close, but close enough that your shoulder brushes his when you shift. You just sit there silently, some late night talk show on the screen that neither of you are really watching, the clock ticking on the wall.
Neither of you says it, but you’re both thinking the same thing. That this… is better. You missed this.
The room is dim, the air thick with the remnants of the night. You can feel the weight of his presence even without looking at him. It’s strange, how the space between you doesn’t feel empty tonight.
You sit, stiff at first, then relax, just enough for the warmth in the room to seep into you. You can hear him breathing — slow, steady, and soon the quiet becomes comfortable. He’s the first to break it, his hand still lingering in the air, hovering above you, before he drops it to his lap.
“Go to bed if you’re tired.” His voice is low, almost absent, but there’s something in it — a softness you don’t expect from him.
You don’t answer at first. Instead, you just feel the weight of your own exhaustion settle in. The events of the night, the day before, everything else—all of it starts to catch up. You never realized how much you needed this quiet.
“Not sleepy,” you mumble.
“You look like you’re about to pass out.”
“Then just let me.”
Your eyelids flutter, and the weight of sleep tugs at you, slow and irresistible. You try to fight it, but your body betrays you and involuntarily you lean back, just a little, and your head slips sideways.
His presence is warm, familiar, an anchor that you can’t seem to pull away from. Before you realize it, you’re not just leaning against the couch anymore. Your cheek is against his shoulder, your body curling slightly in towards him.
You don’t move. His hand is still resting near you, just close enough that you can feel the heat of his skin if you shift an inch. You want to move away, to keep that distance, but you’re too tired. Too drained. And, despite everything — despite the fighting and the sharp edges between you — you feel safer here.
You don’t notice when you finally drift off, your breathing evening out in rhythm with his. Sukuna watches you for a moment, his gaze lingering on the top of your head. He doesn’t move, even as you shift slightly in your sleep, closer to him.
His hand hovers for a beat before he rests it on your head, just a light touch, like he’s afraid of waking you. Or maybe afraid of needing you. He doesn’t let himself think about it too long. He shifts slightly, adjusting his own position to make you more comfortable, but he doesn’t push you away or force you to go back to your room. For the first time in a while, he simply allows himself to be in the moment with you, even if nothing is fixed.
Slowly, your odd relationship begins to rebuild itself. Almost like nothing’s changed. Which feels good, but you know is probably ultimately bad.
There isn’t much left for you to do regarding your college application now other than wait, which works in both your and Sukuna’s favors since he doesn’t have to ask you about it. And for a little while, you can both pretend like it doesn’t exist, like there isn’t a definitive end to all this.
You once again start bugging each other in that way, where it becomes a game to push each other’s buttons. The subtle jabs, the teasing remarks — it feels familiar, like slipping back into an old pair of shoes. Comfortable, easy.
One morning, you deliberately make a mess with the breakfast dishes, leaving them in the sink just to see if he’ll say something. He doesn’t disappoint.
“Spoiled,” he mutters, eyes flicking to the unwashed plates before he grabs his coat to head out for the day. You’re about to say something snarky back, but he catches you off guard when he pauses by the door. “I’m leaving. Don’t forget to eat. Don’t make me come back here to check on you.” His voice is sharp, but there’s something behind it that catches you off guard.
You don’t even reply, just raise an eyebrow as he walks out.
The day stretches on, and as usual, you find yourself stuck between the feeling of wanting to be left alone and the pull of his presence — a silent, strange comfort.
A few days later, you’ve had enough of your own thoughts spinning in circles. You’re lounging in the living room, scrolling through your phone when Sukuna walks in, the air shifting the moment he steps through the door.
“Made yourself comfortable?” he remarks dryly, nodding to the mess of books and papers scattered around the coffee table. You shrug, not bothering to answer, but he continues, his voice cutting through the silence. “You’re avoiding me again. Good to know I’m still that important.”
You roll your eyes but a tiny smirk tugs at the corner of your lips. “Oh? And how am I avoiding you?”
“You’re still keeping your distance. Don’t think I haven’t noticed.” He leans against the doorway, his arms crossed, but there’s something different about the way he’s looking at you today. Less guarded. Almost vulnerable, though he’d never admit it.
You don’t respond immediately, the tension in the air thick. For a long moment, neither of you speaks. Then, the game kicks in. You look up from your phone, tilting your head with a feigned innocence. “And what about you? Still not asking about my college stuff? You’d think you’d care by now.”
His jaw tightens, but he doesn’t rise to the bait. Instead, he smirks in that infuriatingly smug way. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you? For me to care? But I’m leaving it up to you. All of it.” His voice softens just a bit, and for a second, the tension fades. “Just don’t waste the chance.”
It stings. Not because of the words, but because you know they’re true. And deep down, you’re not sure if you’re ready to make that choice.
Sukuna won’t admit it, but he’s secretly thrilled at the way you’ve started to cling to him again.
It begins with you sometimes crawling into his bed at night, asking if you can sleep with him. He agrees, and soon the asking eventually just turns into you announcing that he’ll be sharing the bed with you.
And then the casual, domestic bickering returns full time to your daily life. One morning you’re sitting at the breakfast table, innocently eating leftovers from last night as he opens the fridge to grab some milk from his coffee.
The carton is suspiciously light, but he tries his luck anyway, unscrewing the lid to pour some into his glass.
A single drop falls out.
He catches you trying not to look at him, clearly hoping to escape the reprimanding that’s about to come your way.
“Seriously? Can you just throw away the damn containers when they’re finished?”
You sigh. “Okay, I’ll do it next time.”
“You say that every time.”
“Okay what do you want me to do? Go back in time and throw the carton away? I just forgot.”
He narrows his eyes. Maybe he’d buy into it a bit more if he didn’t see how well you could really do things, when you weren’t talking to him. Weaponized incompetency - that’s what this is.
If you’re not acting like some poor woman’s kind of shitty boyfriend, you’re acting like a spoiled pet.
You stand in the doorway to his office, arms crossed over your chest. Sukuna is bent over his desk, scribbling something on a piece of paper. He doesn’t look up at first, but you can feel his awareness of your presence, as always.
“I’m bored,” you announce, breaking the silence.
Sukuna barely glances up. “Do I look like your entertainment?”
“Not really,” you mutter, stepping closer. “But I’m here, so I thought you might want some company.”
He doesn’t respond, and the silence stretches until you can’t stand it any longer. You move behind his chair and sit down on his lap without asking. He freezes for a moment, but doesn’t push you off. His hands remain on the paperwork, not acknowledging the shift in your position.
You lean in slightly, eyes flicking to the paper in front of him. “What’s this? Planning to buy something else you don’t need?”
“Shut up,” he says, his voice rough but not unkind. “I’m working.”
You roll your eyes, shifting your weight a little to grind—barely—against his thigh. “It must be hard to focus when you’re this uptight,” you say, deliberately lazy in your tone.
He glances at you sideways. “I’m not the one climbing into someone’s lap uninvited.”
“Don’t need an invitation. It’s my birthright as your only niece,” you reply with a half-smile.
His gaze sharpens, but he doesn’t bother responding. Pen scratching against the page like he’s willing himself to ignore you.
You want his attention, maybe something more — to get a peek into his head. But you know him; he never gives anything away when asked outright. That’s fine, you’ll go for the side door instead.
After watching him for a moment you lean in a little, voice laced with provocation. “Let me guess—you think this is annoying. That I’m clingy and that you’d rather be alone.”
He pauses just for a second, but you catch it. Still, he doesn’t say anything. Push a bit further.
You tilt your head, feigning thoughtfulness. “Or maybe you’re just trying not to care too much. Wouldn’t want to make things messy, right?”
That’s when his pen stops moving. His jaw tightens, just enough to make you smirk.
“You don’t know anything about what’s going on in my head,” he mutters, low and sharp.
There we go.
“Well, maybe you should share then,” you respond casually.
He leans back in his chair slightly, bringing his face closer to yours, and you feel your breathing quicken. Your pulse stutters—God, you’ve missed this. Missed him like this. Sukuna grins slowly, in that way that tells you he’s up to no good as his hand finds its way to the curve of your hip.
“You really wanna know what’s going on in my head?” He shifts beneath you, just enough for you to feel it—hard and rising under your weight.
“Guess I do,” you breathe, feigning calm.
“I’m thinking,” he says lowly, brushing a stray strand of hair behind your ear, “That the shipping clause in the new procurement contract’s gonna screw us if customs get nosy in Kobe again.“
You blink before your face settles into a scowl of irritation. “God you’re fucking insufferable,” you mutter, looking away.
“What, did you want me to say I was thinking about you?”
You give him a dry, biting, pointed look that makes him smirk even wider.
“Well I was thinking about you too….”
You freeze for half a second.
“…And how you still haven’t bought the milk you finished without telling me. Or taken out the goddamn trash.”
You turn away, trying not to let the dejection get to you. Sure maybe you’re horny but it was more than that too — you wanted him to want you like that again. To feel that he still desires you in the way you know he shouldn’t.
So you begin to get up with a sigh, when he pushes you back down abruptly before casually adding, “Oh and how I want your pretty little lips wrapped around my cock right now-” He grabs your hips, grinding your throbbing cunt right onto where his bulge is straining against his pants, “So I can fuck your throat till you choke on it.”
Your eyes widen, breath hitching a little in surprise. Exactly the reaction he wanted, clearly, considering how it makes him smirk.
“Is that the kind of thing you wanted to hear? Huh?” he teases.
Yes, it is, but you’re feeling a bit more bratty after the way he just messed with you.
So you purse your lips, trying once again to climb off him. “Nope. Not anymore at least. I think I’m gonna go take out the trash actually since you were so concerned about that—“
His gaze darkens and before you can even catch the movement he’s gripping your wrist. “Knees. Now.”
You shoot him a glare. “And give me one good reason I should do that after that shit you just pulled?”
Of course the thought of getting to feel his cock in your mouth for the first time is more than arousing, but your penchant for demand avoidance proves to be just as stubborn.
“Because you waltzed in here practically begging for my attention—and now you’ve got it,” he says smoothly, thumb brushing along your lower lip, hand cupping your jaw. “Interrupting me while I’m working…”
His eyes drag over your face. “Might as well make yourself useful. Help me burn off some of this stress...”
You don’t respond, but you don’t pull away either. He watches you, waiting. When you still don’t move, his hand trails lower—fingers wrapping around your throat with deliberate pressure.
“Get on your knees.” His voice drops, grip tightening just slightly. “I won’t ask again.”
You swallow hard, eyes locked on his. Then you move. He releases you as you shift, lifting yourself off his lap and lowering to the floor between his legs, gaze never breaking from his. Sukuna’s eyes follow you, widening his thighs a bit more so that you have better access to the bulge now at your face level.
And before he even has to ask, you’re reaching forward, unzipping his fly to expose the swell in his boxers. He exhales softly when you finally pull down the waistband, freeing his erect cock, already flushed and leaking at the tip.
You swallow again, this time louder, the sound exaggerated in the quiet between you. He hears it, clearly, and lets out a low, amused snort.
“Nothing to say now?”
You give him another half-assed scowl, before returning your attention to his dick. His skin is tan against the dark pink of his hair, a contrast that draws your eyes before anything else. And when your hand finally wraps around him, the weight of him is undeniable—solid, warm, real.
His cock is just as imposing as the rest of him. No wonder he acts like that.
“What do you want me to do?” you murmur, giving him an experimental pump of your fist, before bending forward to lick the pearlescent bead of pre gathered at his slit.
A little salty, maybe even sweet, ever so slightly.
Sukuna breathes a bit sharply at the touch, though his voice stays composed, condescending and arrogant as ever. “Suck it? Give me a blowjob? Want me to say it in another languag— ah, fuck,” he hisses when you deliberately stiffen the tip of your tongue, firmly prodding into his slit.
Not hard enough to hurt, but certainly enough to probably feel uncomfortable. You lift away, stroking his length gently with a small satisfied smile.
“Was that good?” you ask innocently, knowing few things annoy him as much as your weaponized incompetency.
“Just open your mouth and let me fuck it since you can’t do it right yourself.”
You place one hand on his thigh, the other bringing his tip back to your lips to give it another kitten lick. “In a moment.”
You tease your tongue around his frenulum, sliding your tongue up and down with soft, almost curious licks. He lets you explore dick as you borderline inspect it, lifting his shaft to peer at the heavy balls sitting below before running your tongue along the seam with almost reverent carefulness. Sukuna’s breath deepens, as you feel his hand coming up to knot in your hair.
“What’s this all about? Never sucked a dick before or something?” he murmurs, though he stays patient, letting you go at your own pace.
“I have. Just not yours,” you mumble, as you bring your lips back up, rubbing it against his sensitive glans just to see what it feels like.
Soft, so soft, almost satin-like.
You’ve sucked dick before, yes, but never felt the need to get so familiar with another man’s intimate areas, to take your time like you’re trying to permanently imprint the memory of it in your brain. You find yourself wanting to memorize every vein you trace with your tongue, the smell of him, the taste of him, the feel of him in your mouth.
Perhaps you understand now why he was so adamant on wanting to see every inch of your own pussy. Not to mention no other man’s ever leaked as much precum as he is right now, oozing from his slit as you coat your lips with it in a slick sheen. Sukuna’s muscles are visibly tensed beneath you, you can tell he’s reaching his limit from the steady tightening of the hand gripping your roots. Good.
But you want to push him further, just a bit. So you look up at him as you collect spit in your mouth, before parting your lips to drip it obscenely over his tip. And then, you blow on the wettened skin, ever so gently.
A notch forms between his brows, jaw clenching as it does when he gets irritated. Suddenly your head is yanked back, scalp stinging from the harsh tug.
“Enough,” he growls. “Stick your tongue out like a good slut.”
You do as you’re told, and soon he’s taking his cock and rubbing it against the flat of your tongue as you gaze up at him.
“That’s it.” He slides cock off your tongue, and onto your face, slapping it against your cheek with a wet noise, your saliva sticking to you skin. “Now open up.”
You widen your jaw and take a deep inhale through your nose right before he slides his girth in, inch by inch, feeding it into your throat. Immediately your gag reflex kicks in as he goes deeper than you’d expected, sooner than you’d expected.
Sukuna only snickers meanly when he hears you choke a bit, your throat convulsing around his cock. “Too much?”
You narrow your watering eyes in defiance, inhaling again through your nose before remembering a trick you’d heard somewhere about squeezing one of your thumbs so you don’t gag.
So you ball your left fist around your thumb as hard as you can, and strangely enough, it works. With that you hollow your cheeks and push your head down until your nose reaches the coarse hairs on his pelvis, taking in how tight your throat feels around his cock sheathed fully inside.
He smiles as you still a bit, the grip in your hair loosening so that he can stroke it instead, as he murmurs pleasantly surprised, “Oh, good girl. You learn fast, huh?”
Before he can do it himself, you begin moving your head back before sliding back down again, feeling the velvety skin of his shaft brush along your tongue as you bob your head up and down. Slick, squelching noises fill the study, your throat making wet clicks as it moves around him. You can feel your saliva starting to drool out, dripping down his shaft, some smearing on your lips and chin.
It feels sloppy, even more when you hear him groan in pleasure as he grips your hair again, the noise sending an unbearable warmth down to your core while you try to focus on keeping your teeth out of the way and breathing through your nose.
“Mmh, just like that baby, your throat feels so fucking good,” he rasps.
His praise goes right to your head, feeling much better than it had any right to. It’s enough to make you push away the aching pain flaring in your jaw from holding it open, just to hear more of it, to show him how well you can please him. You unclench the fist you were squeezing to fondle his balls, caressing and massaging them delicately while you work your throat around him, rubbing your tongue along his length and letting more of your spit drip out and onto his cock as you swallow around it.
You know Sukuna. You know beyond a certain point of pleasure, his lust will morph into something worse, something vicious that likes to ruin.
And you know it's what compels him to abruptly grip your hair so tightly it stings, and thrust his hips so hard into your mouth with a guttural noise that you make a muffled squeak of surprise, losing your rhythm and feeling you gag reflex claw up your chest, trying to push him back out of your throat. He grins wickedly, cock only twitching in excitement when he feels you struggling to take him, only encouraging him to go harder, fuck your skull till tears are streaming down your face and spit froths at your lips and dribbles down. Strands of your hair stick to the mess, but he’s too busy bruising the back of your throat to care enough to peel them away.
“Hah, I think this is your birthright as my niece,” he sneers between pants, as you try and regain some semblance of control, fingers trying find some purchase on his thighs to steady you a bit. “Finally putting that fucking mouth of yours to proper use.”
You’d be annoyed normally, but in the hazy mess your mind is in right now, with nothing existing but the wet heat of your throat engulfing his cock, the musky scent of him and the stiff pain in your jaw, you’ve been reduced to a primal need to devote yourself to his pleasure. So you relax, and let him use your throat, gazing up at him through teary eyes, drinking the sight of his face contorted in pleasure, brows pulled together, bottom lip sucked in between his teeth.
Surrender.
Maybe he can sense the moment you finally do so because then his face is crumpling and you feel his hips stutter as he pulls back so his tip rests heavily on your tongue.
“Oh, fuck-“
Spurts of seed spread across your tongue as he fills your mouth, warm and viscous, as he fills your mouth. He finishes finally, pulling out his wet dick from your mouth with a satisfied sigh.
You don’t swallow; instead you keep his semen in your mouth for a bit, tasting it, feeling it, as he tucks himself back in. The texture is somewhere between saliva and diluted syrup, and under the saline taste there’s a strange sweetness — warm, earthy, almost like the smell of skin after sex. You chase it with your tongue, savoring the taste not because it’s objectively good, but because it’s his.
And then, an idea comes to mind.
Before Sukuna can react, you’re getting to your feet and climbing onto him. You tilt his jaw towards yours, muffling his surprised grunt as you abruptly kiss him, pushing your way through his lips, guiding the slick taste into his mouth with the tip of your tongue
You more than half expect him to push you away, but he catches you off guard when he kisses you back instead, deepening it and groaning softly as sucks the cum off your tongue, some of the white fluid leaking down the corners of your lips. When you no more is left, you pull away, breaking a thin strand of fluid connecting your wet lips.
You sit there for a moment, flustered and out of breath, before wiping your lips and face with your sleeve, scowling when he smirks at you completely unfazed.
“Was that supposed to be revenge? Because it kinda turned me on instead.”
“Sorry, I forgot you’re a fucking freak,” you comment dryly.
“Guess you got it from me.”
You glare at him again, pushing against his chest. “I’ve had enough of you.”
But Sukuna’s hand is trailing up your waist, coaxing you to stay there.
“Aw, and here I was thinking about rewarding you for your good work,” he purrs.
“Rewarding me?” you repeat, suspicious but a bit intrigued.
“Mhm,” he hums. “Get on the desk.”
Your brow furrows as you peek at the desk behind you, still covered in documents. “What?”
“You can move the papers to the side.”
You don’t move yet. “For what?”
Sukuna sighs. “Just do it. And take off your pants.”
And for some reason you comply, getting off him to hastily swipe the papers to the side before shrugging your pants down your legs and sitting on the desk in front of him.
He clicks his tongue. “No, I want you to turn around. I’m gonna eat you out.”
Oh.
You’re certainly not going to fight against that. Sure he’s never eaten you out from the back before and the position makes you a bit nervous, but then you remember you only get him like this for a few more months and soon you’re climbing up all the way onto the desk.
You feel a bit more vulnerable like this with your cheek pressed against the cold hardwood, your ass presented to where you can’t see him.
“Perfect. Just stay still now.”
You hear him moving and a warm palm squeezes one of your cheeks, kneading the pliant flesh before his second hand joins on the other side.
“Okay…” you mumble, “Just don’t try anything …weird.”
He doesn’t respond, but you think you catch a light laugh under his breath. Not a good sign, but you’re too far in now.
And then your panties are being pulled down your ass till right above your knees, and you can already feel how wet you are just in anticipation.
Sukuna doesn’t waste any time, and immediately his tongue is caressing at your damp folds, before slipping in and gliding through them till your clit. You moan softly as he begins lapping at your pussy, tingling heat building between your thighs as he licks you firmly, suckling on your clit in between.
Sukuna’s certainly talented at eating a woman out, you’ll give him that, because not even five minutes later you’re whimpering and shaking as the pressure in your clit builds till you cum on his tongue.
A few breathless moments and then you feel yourself loosening up again, coming down from your high, feeling much better now than a few minutes ago when you were sure he had some devious plans in mind.
“Shit, that was good,” you mumble as his tongue pulls away from your sopping cunt.
The relief you were basking in is ripped away when suddenly you feel him gripping your cheeks and spreading them apart.
Uncomfortable.
“I said no weird stuff—” Your words end in a squeak of surprise when you feel something warm and wet press against the tight rim of your asshole. Heat quickly rises to your face in indignation as you shift, trying to get away from the ironclad grip he has on your ass. “Oh my god, do not do that—”
A sharp slap to your ass shuts you up as you wince in pain instead. “You should really try new things, you know that? It’ll get you a lot farther in life.”
“Uncle!” you cry out in mortification when you feel his tongue back on your hole, prodding at it. “Do we really need to do this?”
“Yes,” his answer comes between small licks at your hole, making you flinch when he abruptly spits on it. “How else will you take my cock up here if you can’t even take my tongue?”
“What!?” You squirm, twisting your head to try and look at him. “No, no, that is definitely not happening.”
“Why not?”
“Why does it have to!? Is my pussy not good enough for you?” You can barely see him behind you from the way he’s holding your ass firmly in place, but that won’t stop you from trying, even if it makes your neck hurt a lot.
You hear him audibly sigh. “Do you always have to fucking argue with me?”
And then maybe as punishment, or just because he likes to torture you, he presses the tip of his tongue firmly enough against your puckered hole that it actually breaches through. You yelp at the odd, visceral sensation
He pulls it back out just to laugh at you. “If you can go three minutes without moving around or fucking bitching, I’ll let you go. How about that?”
“You better put a goddamn timer.”
Sukuna sighs, but he agrees, setting the time on his phone before putting it back on the desk. “Now shut the fuck up.”
It is still far from comfortable, this strange new sensation, and at first you’re still fighting to try and not squirm, especially when his tongue presses teasingly into your entrance again, before probing a little deeper. You’ve never done this before, not even with your own fingers, really.
His tongue feels delicate and invasive at once- even though he’s barely in deep, it’s somewhere untouched. Yet somewhere along the way you stop tensing and just let him play with your hole, and when his tongue pushes a bit more insistently against the tight ring of muscle, a quiet whimper falls from your lips.
Then his fingers are joining by pushing into your wet pussy, and the feeling of him massaging your walls as his tongue works diligently at your other hole is enough to make you moan and melt into the touch.
You hate it. That’s he always right. That he really, definitely, knows what he’s doing if he’s actually able to make you enjoy this despite the discomfort and your initial reluctance. And fuck, it feels good- dirty and sinful enough to make your arousal drip down his fingers and your hole clench around his tongue. But then the shrill ring of the alarm cuts through, startling you and yanking you before you can fall deeper into the haze. You don’t even realize you’re panting till he pulls away and you turn to look at him, feeling a bit conflicted.
“You can…keep going,” you mumble. “It felt kinda good.”
And to that, Sukuna looks at you with amusement as he licks his lips.
“Oh, would you look at that? My dirty little niece actually likes getting her ass eaten,” he coos as you stare at him venomously.
“But,” Sukuna leans back into his chair, grinning lazily. “The timer rang, and I promised I wouldn’t go longer than that remember?”
Irritating, infuriating man.
But you did say that, so this one’s a bit fair, even if you always feel like he’s setting you up on purpose every single time. You don’t say anything, just huff and roll over to pull your panties back up before sitting and getting off his desk, putting your pants back on.
Sukuna stands and stretches with a low grunt. “I’m gonna wash my hands. Then I’ve got work to finish.”
You nod, shifting a little where you sit, and watch as he disappears into the bathroom. The sound of running water fills the quiet room for a moment, then cuts off. When he returns, drying his hands on a towel, his gaze flicks to you—still lingering where he left you.
He drops back into the chair, spreads his thighs, and pats one. “Come here. Sit.”
“Do you always have to talk to me like I’m a dog?” you mutter under your breath, though you quickly move to make yourself comfortable on his lap, resting your head against his chest as he gets back to work like you still can’t taste the faint astringent aftertaste of his cum in your mouth, or the dampness on the gusset of your panties.
Your relationship not only returns to what it used to be, but becomes something even more—evident from the fact that you now regularly sleep with him at night. Hours of tossing and turning trying to fall asleep turn into minutes as soon as you’re next to him. But with him next to you, the restless ache that builds in your body each night has nowhere to go—and you can’t exactly handle it the usual way with him lying inches away.
After a few nights, Sukuna can’t take it anymore. You crawl into his bed again, barefoot and sleepy-eyed, and he lets you in without a word—again. You curl into him like you always do, seeking the warmth and safety he pretends not to offer. And as always, he runs his hand down your back, lets you rest your head against his chest, even pulls the blanket up over your shoulders without complaint. But then it starts- the shifting. The sighing. The squirming.
He can feel every frustrated twitch of your body, every little exhale like your skin is too tight to hold in whatever’s stirring inside. He cracks an eye open, jaw clenched. You’re on your back now, eyes open, staring at the ceiling like it’s personally offended you.
He waits. One minute. Two. Then—
“You done?” he mutters.
You glance over, sheepish. “Sorry… I just—can’t sleep.”
“No shit,” he says, voice gravelly with exhaustion. “And you’re making it my problem too.”
You try to apologize, genuinely feeling kind of bad. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what it is—“
Sukuna just sighs and then his hands are sliding to your hips, pulling you closer against him.
You don’t say anything. Words are never needed with him — he understands what you need, even before you do. How to offer you some relief. He notices how your breath hitches, thighs shifting as he slips his fingers under your top, skimming along your skin. He notices all the things you try to hide.
“What’re you…” Your voice trails off as his fingers dip lower, beneath the waistband of your pajamas.
“Shut up,” he murmurs gently, hands slipping fully into the waistband of your panties.
Lower and lower, till they brush against your slick folds.
“You really need me to do everything, huh?” he muses, his voice low and lazy. “Can’t even get yourself off like a big girl?”
“Sukuna,” you whisper, flustered now, but your legs shift again—nervous, needy.
“What?” he taunts gently, like he’s scolding a pet. “You want to toss and turn all night like a brat, or do you want to cum so hard you pass out?”
You glare at him, cheeks flushed. “You’re such an asshole.”
He smirks, leaning down, mouth brushing just under your jaw as he deliberately dips a finger into the arousal collecting at your entrance, before puling it back out to smear your slick across your folds. “Yeah. And you’re wet for it.”
You let out a breathy sigh, just giving in, relaxing your body into his and letting him take over. One of his fingers slips inside you at first, and he presses it right against the spongey part of your wall. He can feel a throbbing under the sensitive, swollen flesh there, like your heart is literally beating in your cunt.
It makes blood flow to his own cock, but he ignores that for now.
He fingers you under the sheets, your juices spilling and dampening your panties, though you don’t really care. Soft, wet noises are audible from under the blankets, amidst your small whimpers and mewls, grinding into his hand for more.
Finally you cum with a small cry, and when Sukuna pulls his hand back out his fingers are covered in a glistening glaze. And just like he predicted, your body stays lax, satiated, no longer restless and squirming, and he can feel you starting to doze off against him.
But he’s Sukuna, so right before he lets you fall asleep he sticks his cum-coated fingers into your mouth abruptly. You make a muffled noise of surprise, and agitation.
“Clean them,” he says plainly. “You made a mess.”
You’re too drowsy to really fight back anyway so you lazily suck his fingers clean, tongue licking at the crevices in between , the taste of your own arousal coating your tongue before you swallow it down.
And when you decide you’re done, you pull his fingers from your mouth with a soft pop, turning your head away in quiet defiance. He snorts under his breath, wiping the damp fingers on your cheek just to get a rise out of you.
You groan, muffled against the pillow. “Can you not?”
“Shhh,” he murmurs, unbothered, like you’re the one making a scene.
You try to swat at him half-heartedly, but your arm's too heavy with sleep, and he easily catches your wrist, pinning it lazily to the mattress.
“Such a brat,” he mutters, voice low and warm near your ear.
You don’t bother answering, just sigh, turning your face into his chest instead, letting the steady rhythm of his breathing pull you down. His hand lingers at your back, a quiet weight as you fall asleep and neither of you realize it's the first time you've addressed him by his name of your own accord.
There’s something about growing up with very little family. No buffer—no siblings to confide in, no cousins to rely on, no grandparents to balance things out. Every relationship carries extra weight.
In your case, it’s your parents. In an ideal world, this would’ve drawn you closer. A small, tight-knit family. But in reality, emotional absence from either parent creates a gaping void—whether you name it or not.
For you, it’s a paternal wound. One that only becomes glaringly obvious when Sukuna slips into your life, uninvited, into the role of a pseudo-guardian.
It isn’t some cliché Freudian desire to date your father; it’s something deeper. What draws you to Sukuna isn’t the simple need for a father figure—it’s how he fills a hollow space inside you. And the quiet resentment that he wasn’t there to do it sooner.
But there are downsides to filling a wound. You haven’t forgotten that moment—the horrible, embarrassing moment the morning after he took your virginity. When, raw and vulnerable, you snapped, calling him "your dad."
Neither of you ever brought it up again. And maybe that’s for the best, because the implication was too real. Because while the sense of protection from him draws you in, it also comes with expectations you never asked for. Sometimes, when Sukuna acts like he cares, it feels like a leash—an invisible tether you never wanted, but can’t escape.
You don’t look too closely at it. You don’t ask questions. You don’t dig into why it feels this way, because deep down, you know that if you did, you’d start trying to excuse it. And that feels worse.
So you let it haunt you quietly instead. You let it settle in your bones, a constant undercurrent of discomfort that you’ve learned to live with. And you don’t question it.
Not even when, one evening, in the middle of one of your usual bickering sessions, Sukuna announces—out of nowhere—that he’s taking you on a date. Especially since, according to him, your last one was pathetic.
You’re pretty sure it’s just his way of proving a point, another game to pass the time.
But still.
Your stomach flips. That giddiness bubbles up, childish and bright, almost shameful in its intensity—not because you crave male attention, not just because someone chose you.
But because he did. Because it’s Sukuna, and everything he represents.
The one person who never had to care, who didn’t owe you anything—but still chose you, regardless. And even if his gesture is wrapped in sarcasm and ego, it feels surprisingly pure. Like something tender buried beneath something cruel.
It disarms you.
Especially when he adds, almost carelessly, that you’ll need a new dress, proper heels, maybe even a little makeup.
“If I’m doing this,” he says, “I’m doing it right.”
Of course, you try to laugh off the part about him buying you things. You’ve been trained to never take from others, to never be the one who gets lavished with attention, and you don’t know how to accept it anymore. Or maybe it’s deeper than that. Maybe you’ve never known how to let yourself be spoiled.
Sukuna, however, just gives you that look—a sharp, unamused stare—and tells you to shut up.
So you do. You nod, face flushed, trying to hide the way your chest tightens. Not just from excitement, but from something heavier, something sharper. The ache of being cared for in a way you were never shown how to care for yourself. Something dangerously close to wanting—no, needing—to be wanted in a way you never learned how to ask for.
Sukuna means it when he says if you’re doing this, you’re doing it right.
Which is how you end up at the store that weekend, standing in front of an employee assigning you a changing room. You hold out the dresses draped over your arm—four of them—for her to count.
“Ooh, those are great choices. What’s the occasion?” she asks, smiling.
And then Sukuna appears behind you like some large, intimidating shadow, and you swear you can see her recalibrating behind that smile—trying to figure out if he’s your dad or an older boyfriend. She definitely lands on the worse conclusion when he smirks and rests a hand on your shoulder.
“She has a date tomorrow night,” he says.
You force a small smile, shifting under his touch, laughing nervously. “Yeah.”
“Lucky guy,” she replies—now clearly convinced he’s your father. "You can take that big stall at the end,” she adds with a knowing look.
You blink, eyebrows knitting as you glance between Sukuna and the girl. “Oh, he’s not co—”
“Thank you,” Sukuna cuts in smoothly, steering you away before you can finish your sentence.
The second you're out of earshot, you twist out of his grip, shoving the door to the stall open. “There is absolutely no need for you to come in with me. Just stay out here. I’ll show you each one when I try them on.”
Sukuna tilts his chin toward the bench inside the stall. “See that? That’s for uncles supervising their bratty nieces. Tradition.”
He gives you a grin so filthy you nearly combust.
“Oh my god—shut up.” You glance around, mortified. “Don’t say shit like that. People’ll get the wrong idea.”
“More like the right idea. Hope they all know you suck your uncle’s—”
You slap him before he can finish, cheeks blazing, and yank him inside by the wrist as he laughs.
“You’re the worst,” you mutter.
The door clicks shut behind you. You hang the dresses up one by one, studiously ignoring him as you grab the first one off the rack. Sukuna sprawls on the bench like he owns the place—and you. Legs wide, arms folded, eyes fixed on your reflection in the mirror.
You peel off your top, then pause at your waistband. “Can you, like…close your eyes?”
He opens his mouth—no doubt ready to say something disgusting—so you cut him off before he can get the words out.
“Ugh, never mind. Forget it,” you mutter, yanking your pants off anyway.
Now you’re hyper-aware of the mirrors. Of the lighting. Of the man sitting behind you who doesn’t even pretend not to stare. “Can you not ogle me like some creep?”
He doesn’t blink. Just watches, then slowly palms himself through his jeans.
Your mouth drops open. “Seriously?!”
You yank the dress down over your chest, catching him trying not to laugh, which only infuriates you more.
“Need help?” he drawls.
“No.” You drag the dress into place and turn toward the mirror.
At least he’s stopped groping himself. But his gaze still drags over you like he’s memorizing every inch.
“Well?”
Sukuna tilts his head, chin resting in one hand. “Cute. But the next one’s tighter, right?”
You roll your eyes—trying to ignore the flutter in your chest—and grab the next dress. The tightest one. Black, short, zipper up the back. You strip off the first dress without looking at him and step into the second.
It hugs you like a second skin. The zipper, of course, sticks halfway up. You grunt, trying to reach around.
“Sure you don’t want help?” he murmurs, smug.
“I said no.”
There’s a pause. Then you hear the soft creak of the bench as he stands. Your breath catches, as you feel him behind you before you hear him. His fingers brush your spine lightly through the fabric.
“Stop squirming,” he murmurs. “You’ll jam it.”
He tugs the zipper up—too slowly, too deliberately, the gliding motion grazing your skin like a tease.
“There you go,” he murmurs as you look up.
The dress is black silk, soft to the touch and sinfully tight. It hugs every single curve without shame, the fabric catching the light in a way that makes shadows dance across your body. The neckline plunges just enough to make your pulse quicken, and the back dips scandalously low, exposing the gentle curve of your spine.
It stops mid-thigh—short enough to tempt, long enough to tease. The sleeves are off-shoulder, barely clinging to your upper arms, adding that extra edge of vulnerability, like the dress could slip just a little too far with one wrong move.
Sukuna’s gaze is unreadable as he takes in this one, but you’re too focused on one small detail to even worry about that.
Your hands pause at your lower stomach, fingers brushing the slight bump that feels more noticeable in this lighting, in this mirror, in front of him. You tug the fabric subtly, trying to flatten it, your face twisting with discomfort.
Sukuna’s eyes catch the motion immediately. “What are you doing?”
You don’t answer, just keep adjusting, suddenly wishing the lights were a little dimmer. “It fits weird here. Makes me look—”
“Don’t finish that sentence.” His voice cuts clean and low, that stern, irritated tone.
You glance over at him, and his gaze has shifted—no longer teasing, no longer just looking for fun.
“You look good,” he says simply. “There’s nothing wrong with you. Stop pulling at it.”
You try to deflect with a shrug, suddenly warm in the face. “Whatever. I just don’t like how it fits right here—”
Sukuna steps closer, towering behind you as his hands slip down to rest at your waist. His fingers settle exactly where you were trying to hide, pressing just enough for you to feel it.
“This part?” His voice dips. “It’s hot. Not sure who put those silly ideas in your head.”
His eyes meet yours in the mirror—not looking at you, looking through you, like he wants you to see exactly what he sees.
“Wear this one tomorrow,” he says, already deciding.
“What about the other ones—”
“No. This one.”
You try to argue, but the words feel thin. You just nod.
You make it out of the changing room alive—barely—and he lets you breathe for a while.
The next stops are easier. He picks out a pair of heels you actually like, lets you test them with a spin, and even hums approvingly when you twirl for him. Then he lets you drift toward the makeup section like it’s no big deal, arms crossed while you test swatches on your wrist. He even pays for everything without blinking, which should annoy you more than it does.
It’s... almost domestic. Almost.
Too domestic. Which is exactly why the second your guard drops, he grabs your wrist again.
“Wait—where are we going now?”
Sukuna doesn’t answer. Just smirks and steers you with that same annoying confidence you’ve learned to hate. And then you see the store sign. Lace everywhere. Soft light. Satin mannequins. Entire walls covered in things no sane person wears unless they plan on not wearing them for long.
Your stomach flips. “No. No, no, no—absolutely not—”
“You owe me- I sat through the whole makeup segment like a saint,” Sukuna says, voice low and lazy. “Besides what do you think we’re gonna do after I take you out to dinner? You didn’t think it was just that, did you?”
“Wh— First of all you were on your phone the entire time! Second of all, that’s not what I thought,” you stammer, heat crawling up your neck. “I mean—I didn’t think anything! And you could’ve warned me, you psycho!”
It doesn’t help that the saleswoman gives you a courteous, knowing smile.
“Where’s the fun in that?” he murmurs, already plucking something red and lacy off a nearby rack.
He starts picking things out way too fast—like he’s been here before, like he already knows exactly what he wants to see you in. A red lace set that’s mostly straps. A black sheer bodysuit with strategic cutouts. Something so small and silky you’re not even too sure what it actually is.
Your mouth opens. “Are you—seriously?”
Sukuna doesn’t even look at you. “You said you’d try something on. Don’t get shy now.”
“I didn’t say I’d try on whatever sadistic thing you pulled off the wall,” you hiss, snatching the red one from his hands. The thing barely weighs anything—it’s just lace and suggestion.
He finally glances at you, eyes flicking down to the scrap of fabric in your hands, then back up to your face. He smirks. “You’d look good in it.”
“You don’t know that—”
“I know your size.” He grabs another hanger. This one is deep wine-colored and... crotchless? You choke on air.
“I’m not wearing that.”
“No,” he says easily. “You’ll keep that one for later.”
Your entire face burns.
But there’s that spark again—the one he always knows how to strike. A tiny thrill under your ribs, curling somewhere low and secret. You hate how easily it lights up around him, how much worse it makes everything. Your parents would skin you alive if they saw you come home with things like this.
And sure, maybe the lingerie is scandalous. Obscene, even. But it’s also… beautiful. Beautiful in a way that makes you nervous. Erotic in a way that feels like it wasn’t meant for someone like you. This is what people wear when they want to be seen. Worshipped.
Adored.
You’re not used to that, not sure you believe it’s something you’re allowed to want. Maybe that’s why it unsettles you so much. Why you keep glancing away from the mirror, like you’re afraid of catching your own eyes. Why you deflect—tell him he’s a total perv for wanting to see you in all that stuff, pretending to be offended with each skimpier set he picks out.
Sukuna doesn’t seem to care. He ends up with half a dozen pieces slung over his arm—lace, mesh, satin, straps.
“You’re disgusting,” you mutter, trailing after him as he heads straight for the fitting rooms.
“Thank you,” he says, unbothered.
You glance around the store like someone might save you. The girl at the register doesn’t even blink as you pass by. Clearly, she’s seen worse.
You make it to the fitting room and try—again—to shake him off.
“I’m going in alone,” you say, palm flat against his chest, blocking the door. “You don’t need to supervise everything, freak.”
He doesn’t budge, just glances over your head toward the row of fitting rooms, eyes flicking until he finds the one he wants.
“This one,” he mutters, guiding you toward the end of the row. You start to protest again, but he’s already turning the handle and nudging the door open with his foot like he owns the place.
“There’s a seat,” he says plainly.
You freeze. “There’s what?”
He gestures inside. And sure enough—tucked in the corner like some kind of luxury upgrade—there’s a little bench. Padded and polite.
Utterly unbelievable.
“Why the hell is there a chair in here!?”
Sukuna shrugs, completely unfazed. “Probably for men like me. The ones who pay.”
You scowl. “You’re not coming in.”
But it’s already too late. He steps inside before you can close the door, brushing past you with that arrogant ease like this is just his natural territory. The lock clicks behind you, and suddenly the space feels smaller. The room is too pink, the lighting too warm, too sensual. Too many mirrors.
You stand awkwardly in the middle of the room, lingerie in your arms, staring at him like maybe he’ll take the hint and leave.
He doesn't. Instead he sprawls on the little bench like it’s a throne, legs spread wide, one arm casually draped over the backrest. His gaze is lazy, almost amused, as he watches you, and it grates on your nerves more than it should. You yank a hanger free, desperate to get this over with. You don’t even look at the tag, just grabbing the first thing that catches your eye—something black and sheer, satin and silk, its fabric soft but undeniably revealing.
You take a closer look. A chemise.
But not just any chemise. The front has an open bust, leaving little to the imagination, with two thick ribbons dangling at either side—meant to be tied over your breasts. You can't help but cringe; the ribbon looks thick enough to cover just your nipples probably, leaving everything else exposed.
“I’m not doing this,” you mutter, voice barely above a whisper.
“Yes, you are."
You sigh, a mix of frustration and resignation, and take off your top, holding the chemise against your torso, trying to get an idea of how it might fit.
“You need to take your bra off too," he adds smugly.
Your face burns, and you’re almost certain you can feel the heat creeping all the way to your ears. You hesitate, the chemise still pressed against your chest, the weight of his words settling heavily in your stomach. You can feel the faint pulse in your throat, and despite the sharp burn of embarrassment, your fingers move to undo your bra, almost without thinking.
Sukuna watches you, the air around him thick with that same, unreadable calm. The amusement never leaves his expression, but it feels like there’s something more beneath it, like he’s watching a very private performance.
You pull the bra off, leaving you bare chested as you pick up the chemise to put it on. Your nipples stiffen in the air, and you try not to look at the way his eyes are drawn to them, how he licks his lips.
You slip it on, the fabric soft and delicate as it caresses your skin, till the underwire sits right below your breasts. Heat prickles all across your skin, and somehow you feel even more exposed with the lingerie outlining your nakedness.
With another swallow you lift the ribbons to your chest, across your nipples, when—
“Let me,” he says, voice low and smooth.
Intense, but not biting. Soft, almost, though the look in his eyes certainly is not — closer to something much hungrier, instead.
But your beyond bound of arguing, not when you feel so vulnerable, so you turn around and timidly walk up to him till your breasts are in his face, holding the ribbons out for him. He takes them from your hands without asking, holding them gently across your bare nipples. The fabric brushes your skin—soft, deliberate, teasing. Then he slowly begins to tie them.
He pulls the satin taut until the soft weight of your breasts spills out around it, obscene and almost delicate, like a gift he’s unwrapping in reverse before finishing it with a bow, neat and centered. You stare at your reflection, heat blooming across your chest, your neck, your face.
“I look ridiculous,” you murmur, voice barely audible.
“Ridiculous,” he repeats, like the very word offends him. His tone turns low, almost lazy. “Then how come”—he takes your hand, guides it lower—“you’re doing this to me?”
He presses your palm against the growing bulge in his pants. Firm, heavy and real. Your breath catches as your thighs tense. Your panties grow damp as your mind short-circuits, shame and arousal folding over each other like waves.
“Gonna call me a creep or a perv again?” he teases, almost gently. Almost fond.
No. Because those were only reflections of your own discomfort with yourself, weren’t they? Because right now you feel desirable, so his arousal makes you want more.
Surrender.
You give in, not caring that you’re in a public changing room, as you straddle his lap and settle, guided more by instinct than thought. Your lips find his—hot, searing, desperate—and he kisses you back with that slow, claiming hunger that always makes you feel like you’re being owned.
But even in that closeness, something twists under your ribs. A voice.
Not loud, but constant, like pressure behind your eyes. It always shows up when you're too close to him like this, when it stops feeling like a game and starts feeling dangerous.
It reminds you, as it always does, that this isn’t forever. That it can’t be, even if there wasn’t that goddamn deadline.
Because what you have isn’t just complicated— it’s illicit. Unnatural. Wrong.
Something that can’t have a future, not with what he is to you and what you are to him. Because of that twenty-five percent. That shared part of you that ensures this can never become love, only shame and ruin.
It aches, sharp and splintering, like a thorn working its way deeper into your heart. You know you should pull back. That you should start untangling yourself now, before you sink too deep into something you’ll never escape cleanly.
But his mouth is like a sedative, his touch a kind of sweet anesthesia that dulls your self-preservation into a low, useless hum.
And so you don’t stop. Because in this moment, he makes you forget. Forget what’s right, what’s wrong, who the hell you’re even supposed to be.
#tw inc*st#cw incest#sukuna x reader#jjk sukuna#sukuna smut#sukuna x you#jjk x reader#sukuna fic#ryomen sukuna#sukuna ryomen#jjk au#jjk dark content#dead dove fic#sukuna#jujutsu kaisen sukuna#ryoumen sukuna#sukuna x y/n#sukuna jjk
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“Why? Do you have a crush on me or something?”
Luke Hughes x fem!reader ᯓ★
Description ₊˚⊹ ᰔ Luke Hughes is a shy, obsessed boyfriend. You’re just as obsessed and shy though.
૮ ․ ․ ྀིა Notes, this was originally written for Quinn, but I felt it had more of a Lukey vibe, they’re both corny but it’s sweet, also my first time posting on tumblr, kinda nervous and scared
Luke Hughes thought you were the most beautiful being on earth. From the moment he first laid eyes on you in that dimly lit bar, “beautiful” began to have a different meaning. He vividly remembers the look in your eyes when he first approached you. Gosh, he was taken back. I mean, sure, Luke Hughes never considered himself as shy. How could he be? A handsome, pro-athlete, rich man? Shy? No, not really, but around you, he seemingly always felt butterflies in his stomach, along with a red, flushed color that decorated his cheeks.
He’s had his fair share of flings and situationships, maybe even a few girlfriends. But, gosh, no other girl could ever make him feel the way you do. From the way you rub his shoulders after a tough game, when you cook for him, or when you clean up after him after being seemingly disorganized. Everyday, without fail, Luke Hughes thanks the universe for blessing him with you.
And right now, once again, he’s thanking the universe.
It’s been a long day. After starting with an early practice, followed by tons of media, and then an ice cream date with the boys, he’s finally on his way home. He’s tired, but knows that the second you smile at him when he walks through the front door, everything negative feeling will disappear. You never fail at making him feel that way, which is why right now, he’s thanking the universe, again.
However, when he gets home, you aren’t there, which ultimately puts Luke in a bad mood. That was another great thing about being completely obsessed with your partner; you want to spend every second with them. Turning on his phone, he figures out the reason for your absence.
Sorry, Honey, I’ll be home a bit later today. Meg asked if I could stay an extra hour. I love you, make sure you eat something! ❤︎
He sighs. Already counting down the minutes until you would walk through your shared front door. Luke also thought about that a lot. All your shared things, the shared front door, shared garage, shared kitchen, shared bedroom with your shared king bed, even the light bulbs around your home that you shared. He loved thinking about how you both loved each other so much, you would go as far to create a home together. The ring in the back of his dresser would only make everything feel 1000 times bigger and real. It made him feel special. Like a little boy with their first crush.
Time seems to take forever to go by. Luke takes a quick shower and eats something light, he’d rather wait to eat with you, but he doesn’t want to go against your wishes. So he makes sure to eat something light, just so he can still be hungry enough to with you later. Eventually, you walk through the shared front door. Luke almost trips over making his way to the door. He feels like a dog greeting their owner after a long day. You giggle, noticing his urgency, “Luke, I’m here now, I’m not going anywhere.”
He helps you take off your coat, slide your shoes off, wanting you to be completely relaxed before he smuthers you. Your comfort always comes first. Then he can finally you a bear hug, nuzzling his face into your neck and inhaling deeply.
“I missed you,” he mutters before lifting his face from your neck and kissing you gently. “I missed you so much,” he says for a second time before returning his head into your neck.
You stomach gets that buttery feeling, the one Luke is so familiar with. Threading your fingers through his hair, you say “I missed you too, honey.”
Luke replies, “I thought about you all day, couldn’t wait to finally be back with you.”
You swear you could melt from his affection. He’s so sweet, all the time. Everyday you fall harder and harder for him. Your relationship is built on everything you could imagine: love, respect, peace, happiness, laughter, etc.
That being said, you can’t resist the urge to tease Luke a little bit. To make light fun of his profound obsession with you. His obsession being a reason, but also because you love to see him go shy.
“Why? Do you have a crush on me or something?”
The way his face flushes up and he avoids eye contact, gosh, you love your shy boy so much.
“I-I,” he’s at a loss for words.
You still have that ability, even after 3.5 years together.
After gaining his composure, with his face still lodged between your neck and shoulder, he mutters, “Yeah, I have the biggest crush on you.”
“Oh, really? How big”
“The biggest ever, actually, I think I’m in love with you.”
It’s your turn to blush now, being around Luke also gets you shy.
“Oh, really?"
“Yeah. I love you.”
“Well, I love you too.” You say.
Both of you are blushing so much now, holding onto each other in the entryway of your shared home. The way you’re both blushing could be mistaken as a couple on a first date or soulmates who have just locked eyes for the first time.
“I love you most”
“No, I love you most.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
“No, baby”
“Yes, I love you so much, I won’t wake you up even if your snoring doesn’t let me sleep.”
“Well, I love you so much, I let you pluck my eyebrows and apply your weird skincare whenever you feel like it.”
“Well, that’s because you’re my favorite person to pamper and hush, I know you like my skincare.”
“No, I don’t.”
“Liar.”
“I don’t. Well… maybe a little bit.”
“See, I knew it. You can’t lie to me, I know my baby.”
He squirms again, “You want to take a bath together and put on a face mask?”
It’s your turn to squirm because he knows you so well, after the remembrance of you guys relaxing with face masks on, that’s all you want to do after a long day.
“Yes, Lovely, let’s go.”
Hand in hand, you both walk to the bathroom, getting ready for another special evening together. One of many you have had before and the many you’ll continue to have, as well as everyday you spend together. Because being with Luke Hughes means everyday is sacred, special, and meaningful. No one can make you as happy as he does and no one can make him as happy as you do. You both love each other with your entire being, soul, and mind. You’re each other’s soulmates and you love to spend everyday by each other’s sides.
≽^• ˕ • ྀི≼ TYSM for reading, I greatly appreciate it ! Divider is by @/anitalenia ❤︎
#nhl imagine#luke hughes#luke hughes x reader#lh43#lh43 imagine#lh43 x reader#nhl x reader#jack hughes x reader#fanfic#x reader#nhl fanfiction
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Need Someone Soft? 141 x Camgirl!Reader
Summary - Kyle attempts to keep a secret, Simon discovers a very pretty webcam model.
Tags - Masturbation, internet stalking, voyeurism(?) exhibitionism, reader is mentioned to be plus sized (or mid-sized if you wanna argue)
divide from @/animatedglittergraphics-n-more
A/N: Still on a semi-hiatus. Just having camgirl thoughts.
Kyle hated this, your inconsistent schedule. You said certain days of the week and every weekend... and yet you were nowhere to be seen. He had bought the singular video up on your profile but that was it, that was all you had.
Really he shouldn't have expected much out of a model who's tags warned him that you were new. New and inconsistent it seemed. Until a few days turned into a week, then a week turned into two weeks and soon enough there was only a few days until it was a full month since you had been online.
He had followed your little blog that you posted updates on and had masturbated so many times to that one video on your profile that, well it would be a lie if he said it didn't do anything for him anymore. Oddly, the video had become a comfort.
Like knowing he had a few candies waiting for him after a long day of drills and training. Even on missions, when it got slow and they were in a safe house Kyle pulled up the video. Careful of course to keep it silent but he had your sounds memorized by now.
He would follow the rhythm you set, slow at first as your tight cunt got used to the dildo stuffed inside of you, your hips jerking a little when you find that right spot on your clit and keep your vibrator there. A mixture of lube and your own juices dripping from around the dildo and down the fat of your ass.
Fuck, his mouth watered just thinking about it.
Then he got an alert in his email. A blog update. All it said was I'm coming back and I have a new toy to test out, ;) and by the grace of god it was a screenshot of a lovense order for a lush. His mind swirled with the possibility of being able to send tokens upon tokens to make it vibrate. To control your pleasure through a screen, the possibility was tantalizing. And yet, he didn't know when you would be coming back. Today? Fuck, not today. Not while he was meant to be sent off on an op with Soap.
God damn it.

Simon didn't normally use websites like this. Then again, most of his wanks were borderline clinical. He would conjure up whatever image he needed to get off and tug at his cock until his spend coated his hand. So why was he on this website to begin with? Well, he was curious alright?
Curiosity killed the cat.
He flickered through the 'longue' as the website called it, something that chuffed him a bit he had to admit. A porn website attempting to make itself seem a little more professional.
Adorable.
It wasn't his first time on a website like this, far from it. He just normally didn't do this at all. But he knew he liked the new models. The ones who weren't quiet sure what they were doing. He also liked the ones who were rounder in the middle, thighs thick from good eating and a nice round ass that he could imagine bouncing off of while he fucked her into the mattress.
So he scrolled through the new tag until he stumbled across what he was looking for. He glanced at your username and immediately 'friended' you which was really more like subscribing. He would get alerts when you would go live now.
You were sat all pretty on your bed, hair tucked behind your ears and he looked at the room topic. His eyes latched onto the words lush activated.
Oh.
Oh.
He glanced at the tokens in his imaginary wallet on the website. 1000, he could make that work. He tugged his cock from his briefs and grabbed the bottle of lube tucked away in his drawer before he poured a generous amount on his cock. He gave it a few tugs, just watching as someone else tipped you and activated the lush nestled inside your pussy. Just watching as you squirmed and the nearly mute sound of your mewls reached his eyes. Fuck he needed headphones.
Using one hand he typed his first sentence into chat, you do privates?
#simon ghost riley#ghost x reader#ghost mw2#ghost x you#kyle gaz garrick#gaz x reader#simon riley x reader#mw2 smut#gaz smut#simon x reader#camgirl!reader#x reader#cod x reader
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💔; crimson pain -a different kind of blood


content warning: gn!reader who plays as number 028. (dating) angst. mentions of death, financial struggles, vomit, blood and fainting.
word count: 1935. i got a bit too carried away 😬
author’s note: finally, here it is. i’ve had this idea for so long but the universe wasn’t on my side, it seems. i really wanted to post it sooner 🥲. as always, constructive criticism is welcomed, and i apologize for the mistakes (english is my third language). oh, and tysm for the support on the jun-ho headcanons post! what do you mean over 1000 likes? that is insane 🤧🤧. i hope you’ll enjoy this one too. 🩷🩷🩷🩷
the sugary umbrella lays on your shaky hand, under the excruciating yet unmasked gaze of the soldier. once the ‘pass’ is given, you stand up ready to get out of there. “you made it!” the voice of the one that has become the closest thing to a friend you could have in here relaxes you ever so slightly. “i almost didn’t. can’t believe i’m adding umbrellas to my traumas list.” having chosen the hardest doesn't surprise you much, not with unluckiness being a part of your life since you can remember. “well, im just happy you did. i thought the square was simple, but now i feel like we should have just chosen the triangle instead, you know? take a look at the survivors; most of them chose it and….” his words fade as an eerie feeling takes over your body, like something’s wrong. turning around, you’re met with one of them, staring right at you completely stiff, not even holding the weapon, merely some feet away.
“is he looking at us?” he can sense the uneasiness too, it seems. “let’s just go.” you can still feel his unfamiliar gaze on your neck, sending a shiver down your spine.
the doors opening break the silence and the rare calmness of the room. “player 028?” your body freezes completely. a stomach drop follows, and your heart rate skyrockets. no. nonono. you’ve done nothing wrong. is it the dalgona? the figure was perfectly carved out; you made sure of it. are they gonna kill you? two soldiers stand by the entrance, waiting. with a final glance at your friend, who is most definitely thinking the same, you reach the pink guards. you don’t even know what to say, should you beg for mercy? try to stay as cooperative as possible? “be quick.” what? the other one grabs your arm and begins to lead you somewhere. “i-i don’t-” your hands are shaking. “please, i didn’t do anything wrong...” begging it is. “keep. walking.” the words are almost a whisper, tho demanding. a hint of desperation can be heard as well. “okay, okay, ok-” wait. why did those words- no. you’re going crazy. it’s just the anxiety, the fear.
the stranger takes you to the bathrooms and quickly closes the door. you step back. again. and once more. what now? he wouldn’t shoot you here, right? and why the hell does he look so tense? his hands move to his mask and make it disappear, and with it, the remaining bit of sanity you had.
the nausea from a few seconds ago comes back stronger, maybe you will die today. “jun-ho…” your voice is almost unrecognizable, tho a miracle, given the struggle breathing has become. “what are you doing here?” “i could ask you the same thing.” he’s angry, of course he is, but the hurt in his eyes pains you the most. “no….you need to get out of here.” god. you can feel yourself spiraling. nothing makes sense. “i will. and im taking you with me.” “h-how- when did- i-“ cold sweat has completely taken over your palms. “wait….wait. was it you?…. this morning?” he nods. “i found the damn card they gave you at yours and my brother’s house” what? “in-ho…?” why does everything keep getting worse? “have you seen him?” surely you would remember something like that, “n-no. maybe before the first game…..” you heed your legs’ warning to give up and sit down. “why are you doing this? i dont understand.” it’s not like he could. “they let you out. and you didn’t seek me. you hid yourself. again. i had to learn what was going on from a random man at the station. not you!!” silence between you had never felt this suffocating before, nor the atmosphere so uncanny. “don’t you realize how dangerous this is? they are killing innocent people! haven’t you realized?! 79 have died today. just because of a stupid cookie? what do you think you are doing?! you could have gotten yourself killed! you have no idea how worried i’ve been.” you don’t look at him. this shouldn’t be happening, he wasn’t supposed to find out.
“please, honey. this is insane and you know it. let’s get out of this madness.” the change in his tone of voice is evident, bordering the plea. it’s obvious he’s making an effort to remain calm, to use less confrontational comments. “i can’t.” “yes, you can. we’ll leave the same way i got here, don’t worry. no one will see us.” but you really can’t. you know that well. he sighs, “why didnt you tell me? how could you hide something like this from me? i thought we trusted each other.”
distress seems to have replaced the blood running through your veins. “i would have helped you, always. i can still do it. if you need money, i’ll give it to you, it’s not a problem.” he keeps going after your negative. “i will. we can find another way-” “there isn't.” “of course there is. i have my savings, we’ll use them. i can ask for a raise. mr kim owes me after all this time. and i could do more hours-”
“its not FUCKING ENOUGH!” the sharpness of your words cuts all over his face. pain flows out, dripping a bloody red. more silence. you could drown in it. well, in for a penny, in for a pound.
“my parents’ house is gonna get seized.” a burning throat accompanies the confession. “i messed up like crazy.” the expected embarrassment doesn’t show up, instead, regret does. “it’s not your fault.” how can he say that? “it is. i got them into this, I'll get them out.” “and you think risking your life here is the only way to do it? thats not true. god, why didn’t you tell me?” you rub your temple. “that doesn’t matter now. you-you need to get out, all this is suspicious.” you are not only trying to avoid the question, the guards could notice at any moment. “i told them you were gonna throw up.” “vomit or not you’re still in the bathroom with a player.” for some seconds, the only noise that can be heard is the shatter of your heart. “honey, listen to me. your parents wouldn’t want this. they don’t even blame you, im sure. how could they ever wish for something at the expense of their daughter’s life?” but the guilt is too heavy, too imprinted on your mind. “it’s not about me. if it were my house, i wouldn’t care, but it’s theirs. i would never forgive myself for not doing anything.” “and there are so many things you could do that don’t need you participating in some psychopaths’ games! do you really not see how dangerous and demented this is? please leave with me.” “jun-ho. think about it. if i ended up here, even after they gave us a second chance, it’s because i want to. no one forced me, and i’m old enough to know what i’m doing.” your replies are getting colder, which you hate. but it’s the only way to make him understand. “besides, they’re all kids' games. they’re easy.” you can only hope he won’t sense your attempt at self-persuasion. “they are shooting people. you could be dead. and i would have never seen you again, or known what had happened.” the urge to cry gets stronger with every word, to dive into his arms and finally feel some sort of calmness, warmth, love.
“i’m sorry that i hurt you, that i made you worry and feel like i couldn’t trust you. but i won’t apologize for being here.” “i don’t want you to apologize. i only want you to get out of here and not die.” his desperation has increased so much it’s swallowed your own distress. “i’ve already won two, i can make it to the end.” you refute. but you read him easily, he is planning to get you out without your agreement, somehow.
“please.” now it’s you that pleads. “if you love me, let me stay.”
his eyes widen, you see them watering. his heartbreak drowns out yours. you are aware you’ve never said anything as painful before. it hurts. more than anything they could do to you here. perhaps you are already dead. “how can you ask me something like this?” maybe you’re desperate, or too blinded by the blame that’s rotting on your insides. or perhaps it’s love. “get out of here. stay safe. and don’t tell the police, jun-ho. don’t even think about stopping the games. i need this, don’t ruin it.” god you don’t recognize yourself anymore. how nice it would be to go back when things were easy. when remorse didn’t control yourself, and you were happy with him. “what do you expect me to do if you die?” “i won’t” “you can’t know that! how can i let the love of my life risk it all when i know i could do something?” understanding such perspective is effortless. if it were the other way around, you too would act like he is.
you approach him for the first time, god how you craved it. your hands cup his pained yet beautiful face and a tear drops. “i missed you.” he says quietly, unable to stay angry at you for long. “i missed you too.” you answer back, wiping the tear. “i missed your face, your voice, your touch. i miss your kisses.” things already ache enough like this, so you give in. the kiss is soft, so fragile, like a bit more intensity would make it disappear. “i love you.” he whispers resting his forehead on yours. “i love you too.”
a knock on the door destroys the illusion. shit. “lay on the floor.” “what?” “lay on the floor”, he repeats, walking towards the door while putting his mask back on, “and play along.” the door opens and the same voice from earlier speaks. “what do you think you’re doing in there?” may that unluckiness give you a rest for some minutes. “she passed out. she was taking too long and not answering back so i entered and found her unconscious.” footsteps grow louder. “player 028…. i don’t remember any health issues on the file… fuck.” you stay as still as possible, it sounds plausible, given the stress. “take care of it, i’ll let the boss know. and don’t take longer.” with that, he exits the room, and you thank his unwillingness to deal with sensitive issues.
sitting back up, jun-ho kneels to your level. “you look good for a faint.” a hint of a smile appears on your face. “are you mad at me?” “i was. mostly worried. i don’t like this at all.” you grab his gloved hands. “i’ll be okay, believe me.” he doesn’t. he can’t. “please, be careful. and think about it. if you change your mind, i’ll be waiting.” you won’t. you wouldn’t let yourself. but you nod. “you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. i hope you’ll carry that with you. i love you so damn much.” his voice breaks, and you tell yourself it’s time to go back, this conversation can only get more and more devastating for you both. you offer the bleeding and broken pieces of your heart. not meaning to cut him this time. and he takes them. how could he not treasure them? you kiss again. it tastes different this time. like farewell.
and when you get out of the room, you both know that was the last time you’ll see each other.

#Spotify#squid game#squid game 2#wi ha joon#wi ha joon x reader#wi ha joon x you#hwang jun ho#hwang jun ho x you#hwang jun ho x reader#squid game x reader#squid game x you#squid game x y/n#wi ha joon x yn#hwang jun ho x yn#hwang jun ho headcanons#wi ha joon headcanons
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Genshin SAGAU where GN! Reader reads a fanfic about them.

this is my first post bare with me pls, it isn't proof read pookie... i know this kind of idea has been done before but i just love it so...
Creator! Reader gets isekai'd into Tevyat. It didn't take long for you to be found by the Archons and be placed inside a heavily guarded palace in Liyue.
Creator! Reader who quickly gets bored of their palace, who wouldn't be bored when you're restriced to go outside or... Practically do anything!
Creator! Reader who soon notices a book on the ground, you picked it up and it was... A fanfic about the creator...? It was titled 'The creator and I's forbidden love: Star crossed lovers unable to love each other due to fate. Will we continue our love or will it all break apart?' Wow... That's a long ass title. It was a story about you, the creator, and a human. The human had no name, probably for immersion for whoever is reading it.
It sure was... Interesting to say the least... You were... Characterized as this brave, kind, and absolutely perfect character who fell in love with a Human... The Human was... Okay to say the least, the human's personality wasn't your type but whatever you let it slide since this was just a fanfic.
You were about to stop reading but you soon got to the spicy part... "WAIT WE DO IT IN A CAVE...?!" You gasped in disbelief, the smut was actually well written, and it inflated your ego that you were written as the Dom one in the relationship.
Creator! Reader who soon gets immersed into the book and loses track of time. You binged read that 1000 paged book, and you enjoyed it. It made you feel all giddy and curious to what other fanfics about you are out there.
Creator! Reader who brings it up on a meeting with the Archons. By Archons... It was Nahida, Venti, Zhongli, and Raiden Ei. Neuvillete wasn't exactly the Archon... The other two also were absent due to some conflicts.
"Oh right! I read this book titled... Hmm.. What was it again...? The creator and I's forbidden love: Star crossed lovers unable to love each other due to fate. Will we continue our love or will it all break apart?, have you guys read it before?" you asked, everyone except Nahida stiffened at the mention of the first words of the title.
"Is that the book Miko gave me...?" Raiden Ei mumbled. "Oh! Is that-" Nahida was cut off by Venti, "Your Grace..." he clears his throat, "I don't think that's a famous book so we are unaware of it... Do you like it?" he added. Everyone soon stared at you, anticipating an answer.
"Hmm... Well it's interesting... Maybe even correct in some parts." you replied. Correct in some parts...?? Where..?? Which one...?! What scene?! The smut?? The kiss?? How the author envisioned the creator being inlove?! WHICH ONE??
Those were the questions popping up in their heads, well... Except Nahida. "Your Grace, if you don't mind me asking... Which part is true?" Venti asked, Zhongli cut in before you could utter another word. "That question is out of line." He spoke out, even though he was... Also curious... he felt it was a rude question to you. You only laughed it off, not giving him a proper answer.
News spread like wild fire...! The creator likes that book...?! Oh expect it to be sold out and be treated as some sort of sacred religious text or something!
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always pretty
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader (gender neutral)
(established relationship, fluff, slightly suggestive, Bucky being beautiful, bff Joaquín has 3 lines)
Word count: 1k
*** SPOILERS FOR THUNDERBOLTS UNDER THE CUT ***

Plot: you see Bucky with his new hairstyle for the first time
Warnings: none :)
A/N: a small piece inspired by Bucky's hair in the post credit scene because I think we all agree its one of his best looks <3 that and the bit where he took his jacket off were very much for me
I haven't posted a Bucky x reader fic for 4 years now. New content = more inspiration apparently!
I saw thunderbolts on Friday and started this yesterday, it may only be 1000 words but I've never finished a drabble so quickly.
Also a little fix it for the Sambucky plot line </3 I didn't go in to detail as I don't know how they would resolve it, but after bnw I can't have them end like that :(
Masterlist
AO3
***
You sit outside the photography studio, nervous energy preventing you from even being able to scroll through your phone, eyes darting from the door, to the view out the window, to the many posters of previous work on the wall, and back to the door on repeat. It's been hours, but you are determined to wait.
Bucky's first time in his new avengers suit? Yeah, you weren't missing this.
He'd been so anxious this morning and your heart had melted. You understand though. Not only was he having his final fitting of his suit, they were also doing promotional shoots for the many magazines and websites that wanted an interview, so hair, makeup and endless poses were all on the schedule today.
Every time the door opens you look up expectantly, until eventually you see what you've been waiting for.
The new avengers file out, some acknowledging you, others clearly wanting to leave as quickly as possible. Joaquín bounds up to you, ever enthusiastic, showing off his slightly altered falcon suit.
"You like?"
"I love." You grin at him. "Did it go okay?"
He nods, glancing back. "And Bucky did well, managed to tone down the grumpy old man vibes for once."
You make an offended noise, pushing at his chest lightly. "Don't be mean."
His teasing smile is infectious as he guides you towards the studio. "Go find him. He's probably exhausted after having to smile for more than five minutes."
You go to push him again but he's too fast, bidding you goodbye as you enter the doorway. Inside the screens and lighting supports are already being disassembled, staff streaming around you to get the place cleared quickly and making it a struggle to spot Bucky. Eventually you do, facing away from you talking to Sam on the far side of the room. You hesitate to approach, knowing how their friendship has been rocky recently, but then Sam laughs loudly at something Bucky's said, a natural laugh that has you relaxing as you make your way over. Their disagreement was almost as difficult for you as it was for Bucky, a horrible tense episode you don't want to return to anytime soon.
Sam notices you first, leaving Bucky with a final hand shake before pausing next to you on his way out.
"Who knew your man could look so good, huh?"
"And you. I'm sure your solo shots will be the cover photos."
He snorts. "Me and Bucky are cool now, no need to butter me up."
"Oh, I wasn't! I wouldn't-" You splutter before Sam takes pity on you, resting his hand on your shoulder.
"Hey, I'm joking." He squeezes you gently, smile softer now. "See you soon, yeah?"
You nod, watching him go. Turning back to Bucky, you walk over slowly, waiting for him to detect your presence. It takes him longer than usual, you're almost beside him by the time he does, like Joaquín said he must be worn out by all the attention and not quite his usual sharp self.
"Hey doll." He says, tilting his head towards you without getting up.
Moving in front of him, you step into his space to kiss him like always, until you get a good look at his outfit.
And his arm.
And his hair.
You stare. The 'a' on his chest has your own chest tight, knowing how much it means for him to be seen as a hero officially. It doesn't hurt that the top fits perfectly, that both his arms are defined in different ways, that the way they've styled his hair makes him look even more prince-like than ever.
"Is it bad?" He asks when you don't say anything.
"No, no! It's great-lovely-so nice." You rush to reassure him. "Did they blow dry you?"
"I think so? I just sat here and let them work." He shrugs.
"Okay, so you know I love your hair however you do it. But this," You reach out to brush the wave falling over his forehead. "This is my new favourite. You're always so pretty, I'm happy they managed to enhance it like this."
His smiles shyly at the floor, an unusual look for the former winter soldier. You're so endeared to him. This man is well over one hundred years old and a real life super hero, but you can still reduce him to a blushing mess with the right choice of words.
Tilting his head back up, you do kiss him now, only quickly as you need to take the whole look in again. He pouts as you pull away, only adding to his charm. One day you may get used to just how pretty he is, may find a way to not be left breathless just by his existence, not get distracted every time he looks your way.
Today, though, is not that day.
Climbing onto his lap, you bring him into a deeper kiss, feeling his body tense for a second before he relaxes, one arm snaking around your waist to hold you tight. Pressing yourself as close as possible, you can feel every firm edge of his uniform through your clothes, thoughts turning filthy in record time.
You break the kiss with a gasp to ask, "Are you allowed to take the suit home?"
"Oh?" He seems surprised but not displeased by the shift in mood. "It's like that is it?"
You whine in answer, not caring that the room is still very busy. Bucky cups your face to get a clear look at you, smirking as he sees how far gone you are just from a few kisses.
"I can take the suit home," He tells you, making you giggle in excitement. "Probably shouldn't mess it up too much too early, though. I know how you get"
You frown. "I can control myself."
"No you can't, sweetheart," Bucky argues correctly.
"Well, at least don't brush your hair through," You demand, delicately repositioning the loose strands around his face. "That is the best part."
"I can do that." His mouth meets yours again, briefly letting you get a taste of him before he releases you. Standing up, he drags you with him towards the exit, smiling cheekily over his shoulder. "Let's go prove how much you really like it."
***
Thank you for reading!
***
Masterlist
AO3
#bucky barnes x reader#bucky x reader#bucky barnes imagine#bucky x you#bucky barnes fanfiction#buckybabybaby
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I dont know if it was intentional but I love that Narinder when he sees Lamb throwing up he turns gentle and pushes their wool and ears back so they dont get stained with vomit and for some reason it reminded me of how when Nari was throwing up too after the nightmare he had when they were on route to fight Leshy, Lambert helped him with camellias for the nausea.
Ahh, parallels. I think.
IM SO GLAD YOU POINTED THAT OUT allow me to ramble for just a moment.
Narinder was trapped in the Afterlife for over 1000 years, with little social skills and plagued by wishing for vengeance and his only company being two kittens who become disciples under his rule. He has terrible social skills, if not lacking them entirely.
(I would argue that Aym and Baal also have horrific nonexistent social skills, so those three cat's can't really help each other communicate properly to anyone else outside themselves.)
It can be argued that since The One Who Waits had other vessels to pass time and try to kill /annoy his siblings before the prophesized Lamb arrival, that he would have developed them a little bit more, but I would argue that the power balance would have been oodles more severe since the vessels weren't the promised one. He didn't need them, so if they no longer were of service or disobeyed him, he got rid of them. Whether just sending them out or killing them, any how.
Lamb, however, knows they are the last Lamb, the prophesized liberator of The One Who Waits, and therefore his only option. They knew that they were his only reasonable way out of there (whether they asked for it or not) so they were oodles more comfortable than how a professional relationship would have been.
So they asked questions, bothered him, played and ran around him. Complained and vented to him. Yapped and yapped. What is he gonna do? Kill them? Find a new vessel? He can't. "You're as trapped into this prophecy as much as I am, so let's be friends"
Example parts from Chapter 3:
The power balance equalizes because Lamb did not see his presence a God, but rather a fellow prisoner and victim of fate. Rude and demanding, but in the same chains as they were. 'My lord' was simply formalities at first.
This puts Narinder / The One Who Waits in social situations he hasn't been in (or hardly been in) in over a thousand years, and frankly, he had no idea how to navigate them:
Example from Chapter 5:
The God of Death has not needed to comfort or 'be there' for someone in a long, long time. The Lamb's presence is what forces him to try, even if his first attempt aren't perfect. So in that same chapter, he'll ask them a question to distract them. Conversation. Like how they do it.
While I won't post a screenshot of everytime this happens in written format (not including the dreams/memories/flashbacks that haven't been posted yet)-
The One Who Waits is pushed outside of his bubble when it comes to socializing in a way that isn't just 'God-to-Lowly-Vessal' format. He has to talk to them like a person, because he's being talked to like a person, not a god on a pedestal.
Obviously after the final battle and betrayal (to both of them, otherwise known as the Grand Miscommunication) this means nothing for a while as tempers are still high and feelings are hurt. But overtime, this returns, and can show in small ways (ways that may not seem like comfort but is certainly an attempt) like just in Chapter 18:
Trying to bring them an 'offering' (breakfast) mirroring other times the Lamb has done the same for him:
Crudely offering to replace something they are upset at losing/later offering reassurance abet in a curt way:
And what you mentioned: earlier when the Lamb is throwing up, narration shows they're having trouble with keeping their wool, cloak, bell, ect all back at the same time. He can see that. He has a mental boiling pot explosion over the fact that helping them is even a want that he has after the denial crisis he's experiencing where the only answer a minute ago seemed like he needed to kill them, and he chose comfort.
It is intentional. Narinder is learning how to show care, and allowing himself to show care. Slowly, and not perfect, but learning.
#trod au#the rehabilitation of death#ramble#long post#apologies for the spew of words#there are other small instances in the fic outside of chapter 18 where he shows a little#but it's going to just get more and more noticable from this point on#with a lot of his behaviors he honestly needs to be smacked with a rock (deuragatory) /j#but the lamb does not take his shit and doesn't react in explosive anger#a 'be kind but take no shit' kind of vibe that has narinder put in a spot where he has to actively choose#whether the consequences of his actions is something he really wants or if he Wants Something Else
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LANDSLIDES - 002 | GUILTY AS SIN - JJK
part title credit: guilty as sin - taylor swift
these fatal fantasies giving way to laboured breath... they don't know how you've haunted me so stunningly... without ever touching his skin how can i be guilty as sin?
pairing: officeworker!jungkook x female reader (coworkers)
premise: jungkook asks you to dog sit over chuseok. he doesn’t ask you to steal the empty spaces in his head, the dreams he’s yet to have, nor the idea of you always just being ‘you’ to him - and yet, like a thief in the night (with his own damn dog as your accomplice), you do. (part one link)
warnings: slow burn (emphasis on slow, emphasis on burn), miscommunication, missed opportunities, missing jungkook, inappropriate mentions of masturbation between friends, frustration (sexually and emotionally!)
wordcount: 18K
note from holly: this was supposed to be a 30k chunk but the 1000 paragraph limit told me no </3 so instead, this is part 1 - part 2 will come tomorrow :)
minors dni // cross posted to wattpad
When Jungkook comes to stand by your desk, his freshly pressed suit unspoiled from his morning commute and with a coffee in either hand, you know he must be up to something.
"Let me guess," you hum. "You dipped your nib in the company ink again and need me to do damage control?"
It wouldn't be the first time, and the new secretary has been ogling him ever since she started just before the Chuseok break. You've joked about it a few times, but you really wouldn't put it past him.
Popping your coffee on your desk, Jungkook toys with his tie a little, smoothing it down. "Why do you always think so little of me, you little gremlin?"
His pouty whine would be believable if you didn't know him as well as you do. Glancing up from your screen, you're greeted with a smirk. Even he can't keep up his pretence of innocence. "You know exactly why."
"I'm a good boy," he promises. "Got you coffee and everything this morning!"
"Because you want something," you laugh. "I wasn't born yesterday, Jungkook."
"Can a friend not get a friend a coffee just because?"
"Yes—but you don't."
In fact, Jungkook normally waits until midday for his first coffee. Treats it like a reward for getting through the morning without any caffeine. He's gone out of his way today—or just ordered coffee to the office to make it look like he has. Regardless, an effort has been made.
He takes a second. Purses his lips. Narrows his eyes.And then he smiles. "Fine. I need a favour."
"See, I knew it was too good to be true!"
"Oh, c'mon!" He laughs. "I'd get you coffee if you asked."
"I asked last week when I was running late, and you told me to wake up earlier and get it myself!"
"Well, it was your own fault for being out until arse o'clock in the morning!"
Your fault, you think but don't vocalise. It's not like you'd been out with him. You'd been on a date. Another with Mingyu. Hadn't stuck to your word of cooling things off. Spooked yourself with those dreams about Jungkook. Needed to bring yourself back to reality.
If he hadn't asked you to dogsit, you never would have gotten so caught in the domestication of it all. It's your biggest weakness and he damn well knows it. If anything, he should be thanking you for choosing to realign your focus instead of leaning into silly little thoughts about him. It also helps that in the cold, harsh light of Monday mornings, the thoughts just make you cringe more than anything.
"Sorry, Dad," you roll your eyes. "Didn't realise I had to ask your permission."
Jungkook's lips purse in the gentlest of ways, corners upturning ever so slightly. He shakes his head. "You're cranky this morning."
"And you're up to something," you reply. Have barely even had a chance to look over your weekend emails yet, let alone prepare yourself for Jungkook being a nuisance. His department is two floors up. There's no need for him to be here.
In the corner of your screen, an email pings through. Though your glance is quick, it connects a flurry of dots together.
Subject: International Food Expo - we're in!
The company you work at is the head office of a chain restaurant. Jungkook works in franchising—negotiations, specifically. Gets the restaurant placed in the best locations. Recently landed a spot in Starfield Mall. Got himself a nice little bonus.
You're over in the interior design team. It's a small cohort, just three of you, but you're responsible for ensuring cohesion amongst all the spaces. It's up to you that customers get the same feel whether they're in Seoul or Sokcho.
Both starting the job at the same time, directly after graduation, Jungkook had approached you with a strategy in mind. Roped you into creating the interior mood boards and mapping out the spaces before they'd even been acquired. Gave life to them that made it so much easier for investors to imagine.
It had been seen by management as a waste of resources before then—why waste time creating hypotheticals?
They just hadn't yet experienced Jungkook, and all of his charm, pitching for them, using your content to tip negotiations in his favour. It's a partnership that works. Is a practice now adopted by the company across the board, thanks to the pair of you. It's why you work together so often, even if you're on completely different floors and dealing with such vastly different tasks.
"I've been asked to go along," he says, nodding towards the screen. "Little old me is our brand ambassador for the week."
"Congrats," you beam, knowing that Jungkook is the best man for the job. He loves the company. Really believes in the restaurant. Clicking into the email, you scan the details. "A week of schmoozing, huh? However will you cope?"
He's about to joke about how tiresome it'll be, but then you hum in confusion.
"Jeju?" You question, looking at the location. You scroll, just to check you aren't imagining things—but there it is, clear as day. Location: International Conference Center, Jeju. "All the way in bloody Jeju?!"
"It's for international markets," he says, putting his best guess out there. "Seoul's been done a hundred times over for different Expos. Busan, too. I think they're trying to attract more foreign companies—and would the CEO's rather send themselves on city breaks or island getaways? Anyway, that's actually the favour I wanted to ask you..."
It all sort of clicks into place, now. "Bam?"
With a sweet nod, Jungkook offers a gentle smile. "You know there's no one I'd rather look after him. The trip is four days, Tuesday to Friday. If it's too much, I can book him into a kennel, but—"
"No," you shake your head. "Don't do that. You know I'm happy to look after him."
"Sure?"
Jungkook would rather die than leave Bam at a Kennel for the week. He doesn't trust anyone with his baby unless they've proved themselves, but the way you happily cuddle up with Bam on the floor of Jungkook's apartment on any given day of the week is proof enough to him that you love him, too.
If he's gonna trust anyone with his most prized possession, it'd be you.
"One condition," you bargain, 'cause you know that you can. Jungkook'll do anything to have you agree.
"Go on..."
"Have you replaced all the cheese I ate last time I looked after him?"
He narrows his eyes. "Yes."
"Good," you beam. "And could you be a babe and make me some of your pad kee mao? The sauce at least? I can do the rest."
If there's one thing Jungkook will never fail to impress you with, it's his cooking—but your favourite of all of his dishes is his Thai drunken chicken noodles. He imports the special basil needed for it. Goes an extra mile to make sure it's just right. You haven't been to your favourite Thai place since you learned just how well he makes the dish. Will just send him a text when you fancy it, and end up at his place an hour or so later with beers from the convenience store and ice cream sandwiches to chuck in his freezer for dessert.
"That it?" He laughs. "Cheese and noodles? God, you are easily pleased."
"I'm a woman of refined tastes," you say, pompously poised.
Jungkook knows you well enough to know you're no such thing, but he needs this favour, so he doesn't bite. Just says, "And you're sure?"
"I'm sure," you promise. "Now leave me alone. I've got work to do—and thanks for the coffee."
He nods, that little smile of his affecting you far more than it really should. You can't help it. The lighting in your office is far nicer than the rest of the establishment. Makes him look... well, makes him look like himself. Like 'home' Jungkook. The same one who hangs out with you in sweats and messy hair on Sunday mornings, not the suited and clean-shaven Jungkook who swaggers through the corridors of your workplace.
Three of you work in your specific office, and you're all interior designers. Changing the bulbs was one of the first things you did. Lea, your manager, is the most senior in your team. Below you is Jiwon. A fresh graduate, she's still learning the ropes, and as much as you like her, you really wish she wouldn't go all heart-eyed over Jungkook every time he enters the room.
It's not her fault. The warm bulbs just bring out all of those terrible, intrusive little stars in his chocolatey brown eyes. They're terrible, 'cause they're stolen from other people; intrusive, 'cause as he walks away and your gaze follows him, it seems like they've landed in your eyes, too. A secret shared that neither of you even realises exists.
"How do you do it?" Jiwon sighs once Jungkook is out of earshot. "I'd melt if he looked at me like that."
"He looks at everyone like that," you deflect. "And trust me, he's just as disgusting as he is charming. Don't let the tailored suits fool you."
It's been a little while since Jungkook last used the copier room for indecent affairs that would have gotten anyone else into a meeting with HR. Workplace violations are far easier to get away with when you're doing them with someone from the HR department, after all.
Jiwon joined the team just as Jungkook was curbing his bad behaviour. Granted, you know about more of it than most, but everyone who was lucky enough to grab his attention for more than five seconds used it as bragging rights for months.
One thing that you did enjoy about Jungkook's slut era was the lack of women he ever took home. Didn't want to introduce new people to Bam, if they were only going to be fleeting endeavours.
But you're his friend, not a casual fuck. He knew that bringing you into the fold wouldn't be fast nor fleeting. It'd be a lifetime kinda thing.
Which is what makes you feel so guilty as you stand by the water cooler a little later that morning, daydreaming about being back in his space again. Silly little thoughts about facetime calls when you were wrapped up in his sheets, and he was back at his parents' place in Busan. Memories of lazing the days away with Bam, and the look on Jungkook's face as he finally arrived home after a few days away.
You've seen him at home a million times over, but there was something different about him then. Serene. At peace. You know that he was probably just happy to be back with his baby, and tired from driving, but the lazy smile that had hung off his lips, round glasses framing his equally round eyes, just seemed... new.
Your thoughts are cut off by your boss—not Lea, but your actual boss, Mr Seo—calling you into his office. A little flustered, you realise that you've been running the water for too long. Your bottle has overfilled, and the excess tray is almost full, too.
"Hi," you greet him all rather pleasantly, waiting to be told to sit before you actually do so. "What can I help you with?"
A burly man in his late 50s, he built the brand from the ground up. It's been his life's work, and so he's selective with his staff. If you aren't pulling your weight to make the company a success, then he doesn't want you tying your name to it.
When you and Jungkook started going rogue in the early days, he hadn't been happy—but Jungkook had blagged a probation extension for the pair of you. Had told Mr Seo he'd work for free, if he could just prove his strategy would work.
In the version of events Jungkook tells you, he pretends that Mr Seo agreed without docking his pay. Filed away in the back of his cabinet which houses his contracts, past and present, Jungkook has a written agreement with Mr Seo, and a month's worth of missing wages in his salary from that year.
Your pay was never docked, though. Jungkook's a damn good negotiator, and was just as competent back then, too. He was the one that got you into that damn mess in the first place, so it was only fair that he keep you as clean as he could.
What you do know is that you both cut it incredibly fine to losing your jobs before they ever really began. While Mr Seo respects you both for what you've done for the company since then, it still scares you a little bit.
"I trust you've seen the email regarding the Expo, yes?" He says, nodding towards the chair on the opposite side of his desk.
You take it in a hurried fashion, quickly sitting down because, quite frankly, it feels like your legs are jelly. "Yes, yes. Very exciting! I'm sure Jungkook will bring the company great results."
He nods. Agrees. "And I also trust you've been making plans for our stand?"
You learned of the expo approximately fifty minutes prior. Like fuck have you made any plans.
"Oh, of course!" You bullshit. "As long as we can work out the logistics with shipping our materials to the island in time, it should be brilliant."
How the fuck you're supposed to plan a stand at an Expo for a week's time on a different bloody island is beyond you.
You'll get it done. You always do. You'll just be incredibly stressed about it until the event begins.
"Naturally," he nods. I know the turnaround is tight, so we'd like you to go with Jungkook to oversee the preparations. He arrives on Tuesday, but the event doesn't start until Wednesday evening, so you'll have a day to finalise things."
"Oh," you say, unable to hide your surprise.
"Flight and accommodation will be covered by us, and Jungkook's getting a healthy bonus for any deals signed at the Expo—I'm sure we can make a cut for you, too. After all, you two are our very own dream team."
You take a moment to gather your thoughts. You want to go. Of course you want to. A trip to Jeju with one of your closest friends? Under the guise of work? All expenses paid? Who wouldn't want to go?!
But without you in the city, there's no one to look after Bam. Sure, Jungkook could take him to a kennel, but you know what he's like. He'll spend the entire time stressed. Won't be able to relax and engage with people in such a way that deals will be cut. Punters usually like him for his carefree nature. Without it? Well, you're sure they'd like him all the same, but you don't want to tempt fate.
"Mr Seo," you awkwardly begin, uncertain which answer will slip out of your mouth. "I'm afraid I already have commitments in the city that I can't cancel. I'm not available."
Silence lingers for a moment. Just a second. It feels like an eternity.
"Very well," he accepts.
"I'm sorry," you quickly apologise, knowing that you probably look like an ungrateful employee. If there's one thing you are, it's a fixer, and so before you can even comprehend what you're saying, you're throwing solutions into the void. "But I know Jiwon is just itching to get more involved with different sides of the business. I can get her on board with my planning this week and coach her on Jungkook's strategies. I'm sure she'd be eager to work hard, if she were given the opportunity."
Mr Seo mulls over your proposition—one of you which you already regret—then nods. "Alright. I'll trust your judgement. Can you send her down to my office?"
"Sure!" You say with a little too much glee, before you retreat back to your office with your tail between your legs. Lea is at a meeting, so once Jiwon has been sent on her way, it's just you, your water bottle, and a whole lot of regret.
Laying your head on your desk, you let out a little whimper.
It's for the best. For the company, for Jungkook, for you. For the sanctity of your friendship. For your sanity.
A message dinging through on your work chat interrupts your self-pity party. Glancing up, head still on the desk, you see Jungkook's name in the corner of your screen.
Jeon Jungkook, Franchising: oi you little gremlin
Jeon Jungkook, Franchising: i could have booked him into a kennel
"Shut up," you groan at your screen.
Jeon Jungkook, Franchising: it would have been fun :(
Sitting up with a sigh, you poise yourself to send a message back. Find that nothing wants to come out. Your fingers hover above your keyboard with uncertainty. Takes a full minute before you can muster anything up.
Two floors above you, Jungkook is slumped in his desk chair. Has an office of his own, 'cause it's easier for the amount of meetings he has.
In the background of his screen, an email thread with Mr Seo details how Jungkook was the one to ask Mr Seo if you could join him. Explained how it just made sense. Offered part of his bonus package up with it. Said he'd cover the extra expenses if necessary, but that he thought it would be beneficial to the company to have you there, too.
While you're the person Jungkook trusts the most with Bam, you're not the only one. He could always ask Jimin or Taehyung before resorting to a kennel.
As your reply comes through, another email from Mr Seo is delivered, too.
RE: IFE JEJU, Interior Des. Department
Jungkook—
Have spoken with Jiwon. She will accompany you.
Any problems, let me know.
Mr Seo
With a sigh, Jungkook shakes his head. This isn't what he wanted at all.
And when he checks your message, he only frowns even deeper. Unlike you, he's renamed your contact details on his list. Everyone else still has their work-focused username.
Gremlin: It's your lucky day
Gremlin: You get a hot young thing to keep you company instead, wooo
Gremlin: HR if you're reading this, ignore it
Gremlin: Try not to be too miserable without me
He sinks down a little further into his chair. Purses his lips. Would far rather be alone than with anyone that isn't you.
Chewing on his bottom lip, he decides that maybe this is for the best. While he does think it would be good for the company, he knows that isn't why he suggested it. He just remembers what happened last time he spent more than a weekend away from you. Is scared it'll happen again.
Or maybe it's the opposite. Maybe he wants it to happen again. Just you and him, away from the confines of life as you know it.
Thing is, you'd have to return home at some point. If anything ever happened between you both, it'd change the very fabric of your friendship. He doesn't want that.
So instead, he decides to reply in the same way he would have done maybe a year or so prior.
Jeon Jungkook, Franchising: She'll fall in love with me
Jeon Jungkook, Franchising: They always do
Jeon Jungkook, Franchising: Don't say I didn't warn you.
In the warm lighting of Jungkook's living room, the main light is off, lamps providing you with just enough clarity to go over the files on his coffee table.
Over by the sink, Jungkook is washing up your plates from dinner, while Bam leans against his legs. Your overnight bag is still by the door, and Jungkook's glasses are in your hair, keeping it out of your eyes. Highlighter in hand, you're picking out key markets for Jungkook to make contact with over in Jeju.
"Avoid Babiyeo," you tell him, switching over to a thin red pen, putting a star next to their name.
"As in the leisure centres?" Jungkook hums, familiar with the company but not well-versed. The soft melody of his playlist carries a tune around you both, keeping your thoughts connected and in sync.
"Mhmm," you say, flicking over to the next paper. "The CEO's son is in legal trouble at the moment. They're keeping it fairly well covered up, but to do that they're making huge expansions they can't afford. Keeping the news positive, things like that. I reckon they'll go bust before the end of the year."
"Shit," Jungkook lets a breathy laugh escape his lips. Had no idea—but you've both got friends working in various industries. Have your arms dipped into numerous grapevines. Drying up the last of his bowls, he turns to face you and is unable to continue on with his words.
He gets it. Understands why domestication is your biggest vice when it comes to feeling things you shouldn't.
"Acorn Limited are also bad news," you add, putting a little star next to their name.
"Yeah?"
Jungkook puts the now-dry bowl on the counter and walks towards where you're sitting on his living room floor. He joins. Sits on the opposite side of the table. Lets Bam clamber over his legs, and encourages him to sit, too.
"Yeah," you nod, then look across at Jungkook. "They're a hot-shot protein company. Are trying to get themselves partnerships with different restaurants. The guy running it is some twat from Singles Inferno. Company'll be done by the next quarter."
"Some of them do alright, y'know. Reality stars are raking it in—"
"He's besties with the Babiyeo CEO's son," you tell him with a knowing smile. "Kept getting pictured together outside clubs. Whatever baby Babiyeo has been up to, I'm willing to bet the acorn guy has been, too."
Jungkook presses his lips together. Accepts your expertise. Nods, then sighs, "You should be coming on the trip. I can't do this without you."
Yes, he can. He's more than capable. Has closed more deals than most people have had hot dinners.
What he means is that he doesn't want to do it without you, but admitting such a thing verges on territory that Jungkook doesn't feel comfortable entering.
In the house he likes to call his mind, he's bolted the door of the annexe. Occasionally, he will sit and stare at the locks. Wonder if maybe he made a mistake locking you—or more specifically, the idea of you—away in there.
But then he watches Bam choose to shuffle around to your side of the coffee table, and watches as he rests his head on your leg. His snout is by your knee, sniffing at your bare skin with his wet nose. There's something familiar about you. Safe. You don't smell like Jungkook, but you still manage to smell like home, in a way.
"Bam would be even more lost without me," you softly say, scratching behind his ear, and it does admittedly give Jungkook a little solace.
"True," Jungkook accepts, then sighs.
It's getting late and he's got to be up early for his flight. Is leaving for his flight at just gone 3AM, so you're staying over. Crashing on the couch, 'cause having a home gym was more important than setting up a spare room. Thankfully you've never known a couch to be so cosy. Have fallen asleep on it a dozen times over, and it's yet to make you ache in the mornings.
It's all very normal, how you set into a routine. He lets you wash up first. Sorts out Bam while you sort out yourself. Doesn't need to, but writes you out a list of feeding times and emergency numbers. Grabs a spare blanket—one Bam hasn't slept on, but by the morning definitely will have—and turns the sofa into something that really does resemble a bed.
"Sure you're gonna be alright out here?" He asks when you come back through.
He ignores the teeny tiny shirt and even tinier shorts you like to call pyjamas. Or at least he does as much as he can. Doesn't mean to look at your ass. Does it regardless. Four times.
"Yeah," you promise, grabbing a bottle of water from his fridge. There are containers full of his speciality noodle sauce and enough cheese to keep you very happy for the next few days. He got an extra block of the one he knows you like the most as a thank you. "Go to bed. Get your beauty sleep, uggers."
"Hey, you need it just as much as I do," he assures you, then tips his head and makes a small click with his tongue. "C'mon, Bammie, bedtime."
The sound of his paws tapping across Jungkook's hardwood floors is ever-so-soothing. It's hard to be in a house with a pet and not inherently feel like home, you think.
"Night night, Bammie," you coo after him. He turns back. Tilts his head, just like his daddy. Trots on over to you for a few more scratches behind his ears. Doesn't leave until you tell him, "Go find your daddy."
Glancing up to Jungkook with a sweet little scrunch of your nose, you hadn't called him that name to take the piss for a change. The scrunch of your nose is actually an outward display of your inward cringe. Jungkook just scrunches his up right back.
"Gross," he whispers, then holds his hand out for Bam to sniff. "Night, Gremlin."
"Night, Kook."
The sharp sound of Bam's bark snaps you awake. The room is dark, but enough light bleeds in through the blinds for you to see Jungkook awkwardly trying to shush him. Rucksack slung over one shoulder, he's holding a bag with his other hand.
"Leaving without saying bye?" You sleepily mumble, rubbing at your eyes with a yawn.
"Didn't wanna wake you," he whispers. Bam, apparently, had different ideas. "He knows I'm leaving."
"What time is it?" you ask, still totally out of it.
"Just gone three," Jungkook says. It'll take him an hour to get across to Incheon, and even though he knows it won't take him much time to get through security, he still likes to be on time. Would have been easier if he was flying from Gimpo, but he's guessing Incheon must have been cheaper.
Nodding, you adjust your body to sit up, and reach out for one of the files on the coffee table. Hold it across for him.
Popping down his bags, Jungkook takes it with great interest.
"Here. I was having a think before bed. Did a little research on an American company that's gonna be at the Expo. Their head marketer has shares in a bunch of baseball-related companies. Get pally with him," you mumble, thoughts not really cognitive, but you've written it all down for him regardless. "Talk to him about the K-league, or something, I dunno. I reckon Mr Seo would shit his pants if we expanded into stadiums and sports venues."
Jungkook flicks over the notes. Nods. Doesn't know how the fuck you manage to find out half the shit you do, but knows you're wasted on the interior design department.
"See," he softly whines. "This is why you should be coming with me."
"You'll be fine," you promise him, then yawn a little bit all over again. You woke up at the worst possible time.
"You can take my bed, y'know," Jungkook offers. "I'll be gone in a minute or so. It's all yours."
Would be weird getting into his bed while it's still warm, you think.
Shaking your head, terribly covering a yawn, you insist it's fine. He begs to differ, so you double down—until all very suddenly, your notes are tossed onto the sofa beside you, and Jungkook is pulling you over his shoulder. Yelping from the surprise, you don't have time to cognitively respond, let alone demand to be put down.
He wouldn't listen anyways. Instead, he walks you across to his room, and tosses you down on his half-made bed. It's a little haphazard, he finds himself leaning a little too far forward. Almost ends up on there with you. Finds that his blood pumps just a little faster through his veins for a nanosecond.
God, he wishes he wasn't leaving.
Or that you were coming with him, at least.
Can't bear to tear himself away from you when you're all sleepy and sweet and—Oh get a grip, man.
"There," he says triumphantly, pushing his thoughts well out of reach. "Now, go back to sleep, alright? I'll let you know when I fly."
Sitting up on your heels, you find yourself unsure of how to say goodbye—and so you don't really say much at all. Just mumble, "Fly safe."
"Will do," he nods, then exits his room to give Bam a farewell that is just as rough and tumble as yours had been. "Be good for the gremlin, Bammie."
"Fuck off!" You call through, knowing that you'll forever be known as a gremlin, even on your deathbed, you're sure. Tucking yourself under his duvet, you're secretly comforted by how warm his bed still is. Smells just like him, too. "Bye Kook."
"Sleep tight!"
With that, the door slams shut, and everything feels a little colder. Bam whines by the door. Scratches at it a little. Begs for Jungkook to come home.
"Bammie," you call through. "C'mere!"
The way he excitedly bounds through Jungkook's apartment and jumps up onto the bed is borderline comical. He's not used to people being in the house after Jungkook goes out. Thought he was alone—but now he knows he's not, he's quite content. Nuzzles his snout into the duvet and flops his body down on yours. Doesn't realise he's not still a puppy, but you don't mind.
Moments like these make you realise that you definitely did make the right decision.
But moments that come a little later fill you with regret—like the picture that is sent to the office by Jungkook on the work messenger. Working hard or hardly working? He captions it.
The photo is of the booth that's been set up to look like a beach house version of the restaurant. The intention was for it to look like a 'Jeju' branch, of which you're yet to open— but it looks bloody fantastic. How you were able to wrangle contractors and suppliers in such a last-minute rush was nothing short of a miracle.
And yet—
Good work guys!
Wow, looks great!
Jungkook and Jiwon, doing us proud!
Dream team! Good luck!
It's that last one that really bothers you. Dream team. Exactly what you and Jungkook have always been called in the office—but you're easily replaced, apparently. It's your own fault. You're the one who said she should go instead.
It doesn't stop you from walking around with a face of thunder for the whole day. Not a scrap of work gets done. All you can do is lament your choices.
Still, you get to go home to Bam, and that does admittedly soften the blow.
"Show me him," Jungkook immediately whines when he calls later that evening.
You shake your head. "Tell me about the day first."
"That's so not fair."
"Quicker you tell me, quicker I show–"
"Fine," he scowls at you, but softens his expression almost immediately. Yawns. His shoulders press up to his ears as the rest of his face scrunches up. He's lying down on his hotel bed, the crisp white sheets not too dissimilar from his ones back home that you'll be curled up in later that night. "The set up was fine. Most of the vendors are here already. I'm so mad we didn't manage to snag a slot in the catering tent, yanno? Give people a chance to try our menu, but whatever. There's always next year, right?"
"Right," you nod. Yawn, too—and then adorably so does Bam. "It's our first year there. We're just making our presence known. Bigger and better things next year."
"Exactly. Now show me Bam."
His impatience makes you smile. You're just about to tap the switch camera icon, when a sweet, feminine voice echoes through your speaker.
"Did you say something, Jungkook?"
He glances over the sound of the voice, and then flicks his eyes back to you. Gets a read on your face as quickly as he can before you flip the camera, 'cause you're not really sure how much your face is giving away, but you know your surprise wasn't hidden.
"Er, no," he says to the girl. "Just checking in back home—"
"Oh, is that your puppy?" the voice, of which you know all too well, squeals. There's a slight ruffle of sheets as Jiwon tucks herself beside Jungkook. Hair a little damp, the straps of her top are loose against her skin. "Oh my gosh, isn't he the sweetest."
"Isn't he just?" you reply with a smile so fucking fake that it's a good job the camera isn't on you. There's a look on Jungkook's face that you don't really understand. He almost looks guilty—but there's nothing to feel guilty about. He can do what he likes. "Gonna take him for a walk in a bit, then I'm just gonna pop out for half an hour to see Mingyu."
"Are you taking Bam with you?" Jungkook asks, brows a little hard, the ridge between them nicely defined.
"Hadn't planned on it," you chirp, your face just as hard as his. "But I can take him to meet Mingyu, if you like?"
Jungkook swallows. Tries to pretend as if his jaw isn't tense. Is incredibly stern when he says, "Rather him not meet new people when I'm not around."
"Sure," you say, then flick the camera back to you. Are pleased to see nonchalance sitting prettily on your features, no matter how perplexed you might feel."I should be off, though! Call me if you need anything."
"Wait!" Jiwon says quickly, clearly unaware of the weirdness between you and Jungkook. She sees you bickering all the time, so must just figure this is what you're like when you're not ripping each other's heads off. "Just wanted to say thank you—I'm so glad I'm here."
Jungkook's eyes focus on your face as Jiwon gives even more thanks. He doesn't understand the sudden attitude you've developed. All he wanted was to see Bam, but you've a face like a slapped arsed and are trying to hang up. It's fuckin' rude, and if Jiwon wasn't there, he'd tell you so.
He lets you hang up. Doesn't ask you to stay.
"She alright?" Jiwon innocent chirps after you go. "She seems a little..."
"Just tired," Jungkook dismisses. "I woke her up at like, three this morning when I was leaving."
"Oh? She was at your place?"
It's really none of Jiwon's business, but Jungkook chalks it up to her being young, and unaware of when to keep her mouth shut.
"Yeah," he states definitively and plainly, ending the conversation. Heads to the bathroom to clear his head. Turns the shower up to just as hot as the one at his house has been ever since you left his apartment the last time.
'Cause Jungkook's been lying to himself.
There's no lock on the damn annexe. Or at least not from the outside.
The annexe has everything he needs. He's been sitting there, inside, quite comfortably with you for a little while now.
He really did think you were gonna call things off with Mingyu.
Is unaware that Mingyu got left on read four days ago after another dull, fruitless 'how was your day', 'fine thanks, and you?' conversation. As hot as he may be, he doesn't challenge you. Excite you. Anger you. Make you feel any kind of passion.
Which is funny, 'cause you find yourself reaching for a bottle of wine that you know is far too expensive for a Tuesday night glass, just to piss Jungkook off from afar and well in advance of him ever realising what you've done.
Just like you mentioned going to see Mingyu just to get a reaction out of Jungkook.
Childish as it may be, you feel threatened. People praising Jiwon in your place already made you feel insecure at work, and now she's in his hotel room in a state of near undress? Something about it just irks you.
It shouldn't.
It shouldn't, it shouldn't, it shouldn't.
But it does.
And so you spend your evening on Jungkook's couch with cheese, wine and Bam. Put Love, Rosie on, 'cause it's your favourite guilty pleasure film and you think it'll cheer you up.
Instead, you end up silently sobbing by the halfway point, Bam only snuggling into you even further. Can understand that you're upset. Comforts in the only way he knows how.
Sleep is hard to come by that evening. You're full of wine and cheese, so it should be easy. Lights out as soon as you close your eyes—but you toss and turn, and with every move, the scent of him wafts even deeper into your senses. Any further and it might just enter your bloodstream. Seep down into your heart.
By the time morning comes, you feel even more rotten than you did the night before. Have slept on it all. Know that he hasn't done anything wrong, which only makes you feel even more stupid for being so annoyed.
You've also slept on the idea he might have slept with Jiwon. It wouldn't be out of character, but it would be the first person in your department he's shagged. It's always been out of bounds. He knows this. For the same reason you wouldn't shag anyone he works closely with. It'd just be weird. Make meetings uncomfortable.
When you call on your walk that morning, you half hope he won't pick up.
But he does. He always will.
"Hey," he says a little breathlessly. A towel is whipped over his shoulder, sweat dappling his skin. There's something so devastatingly beautiful about mid-workout Jungkook. "Sorry, didn't think you'd call."
Almost as if you're looking for reasons to be annoyed, you take offence to this.
"I always call?"
"Well, yeah, but you were so fuckin' weird last night," he laughs, heading out of the gym and into an empty corridor of the hotel.
"I wasn't anything," you reply back with a scowl—and realise how terribly you're hiding your annoyance. Flick the camera over so it focuses on Bam as he trots along the path. "Just tired."
It's the same excuse he bullshitted to Jiwon. Knows you're talking bollocks.
"Even Jiwon asked what was wrong with you—"
"Oh, well I'm terribly sorry to have inconvenienced you, Jungkook," you snap, completely unjustified. It's too late, though. You've started. Have to see it through. "But if you don't mind, I'm responsible for your pet right now and I'd rather not be having this conversation when I need to be focusing on a million other things at once."
"Fine," Jungkook snaps right back. All he wants is to see Bam, but he doesn't want to be having this conversation either. "But you know what? Don't bother calling back until you've taken that stick out from up your arse."
You shouldn't be surprised when Jungkook hangs up.
But you are.
For the second time in as many days, you find yourself crying.
Oh, it's all so pathetic! And stupid! There's no need for it, you think.
Thankfully you're not too far from home—Jungkook's home, that is—so you can cut the walk a little short as long as you come home at lunch to check on Bam, too.
You don't even really understand why you're fighting with him. Wish you weren't.
When Jungkook zips open his suit bag as he's getting ready for the Expo opening ceremony, he finds himself wishing just the same.
Tucked on top of his blazer is a brand new tie; one of which he most definitely did not put there.
An incredibly muted bronze and black paisley pattern swirls over the material, and on top rests a note.
Jungkook rubs his face with a flat palm. Rakes it through his hair. Swallows back the awkward heat prickling at his eyes and the tickle in his throat. Doesn't wanna bawl.
But then he reads the note, and he just can't stop himself.
Dad!!!
You're gonna do great!!!!
Come home soon tho :(((((
Woof woof!!!!!!!
Your Bammie <333
P.S. I'm colour blind but the gremlin said this one is the same colour as me!!! Do you miss me??? I miss you!!!!!
The first time you had ever learned of Jungkook's tattoos was in a dive bar a few blocks over from work. It was just after you'd pulled off your first deal together—the one that set your working relationship in stone—and you'd both been blowing off steam.
The walls were red, and so were your cheeks, blushed from the heat of what it felt like to sit beside him in a tatty booth.
So used to sitting across from him at meeting tables, something about it changed your dynamic. Any threats of being on opposing teams were whittled down to nothing more than a life that could have been.
He had your back. You had his.
Blazer off, his sleeves were rolled up. You didn't ask him about a single one of the tattoos, like he half thought you might.
Instead, you just accepted him as he was. Didn't stroke your index finger up his arm, tracing the lines, like most girls do as an excuse to get better acquainted with him.
That night he made a promise to himself to never ruin the working relationship you have together.
You work too well to jeopardise it. He has goals. Knew, even back then, that you'd help him achieve his aspirations, like some sort of twin flame type of shit he didn't believe in.
Didn't. Past tense.
These days, when you think of Jungkook and his tattoos, you always think of the snake. It's the one you see most frequently for it's so close to his wrist. Have always understood snakes to represent change.
Jungkook is yet to shed his skin. He's still just the same as he always was, you think, as you get in the lift and head up towards your office floor.
Just 'cause he hadn't hooked up with anyone from the office in a while didn't mean that he'd changed his ways. More fool you for thinking that he might've.
And it's not like it even matters at all. Who he lays down with is none of your concern. You've never cared before. Not really.
It's just that you've been going to sleep in his sheets. Eating dinner he prepared in advance for you. Waking up to his pup excitedly doing zoomies around the room, 'cause he's ready for his walk.
When you get home, you put Bam's leash up next to your coat, which is hung on top of Jungkook's. Kick your shoes off by a pair of his. Use his shower gel when you get washed, and wistfully tuck yourself up into the armchair you helped him pick out for his bedroom. It's tucked in the corner. Is perfect for watching the world roll by.
You know you should have just called him this morning. Spent the entire walk stubbornly hoping that he would instead, but he's just as childish as you are.
You've bickered with him a hundred times over since you first met him, but never like this.
The elevator dings to a stop, pulling you from your tiresome thoughts of Jungkook. Pulling your body from its slumped leaning stature against the mirrored walls, you trudge into a place that endlessly reminds you of him.
Impossible to escape, is Jungkook. Perhaps that's it. Maybe you've just had enough of each other. Need a little time to breathe.
Everyone else who started at the company around the same time as you has already left. It's just you and Jungkook still here from the small pool of fresh graduates that had been taken under Mr Seo's wing.
But you like it here. Like your job. The salary you earn is great—far more than you would get anywhere else.
Again, you don't know this, but Jungkook's always negotiated on your behalf behind closed doors. He makes the company far more money, and does admittedly get a pretty huge bonus every year according to the amount of deals closed.
That being said, he also stomps down to Mr Seo's office in the fourth quarter when news of the next fiscal year's raises are shared. Will demand that your base salary is matched to his. Has threatened, on numerous occasions, to call for a pay disparity audit from external forces if your wage isn't boosted up, even if it means his is cut down to make up for it.
You went out on a limb trusting him in the early days. This is how he repays you.
That's just friendship, though, he thinks. You help him, he helps you.
He also knows you'd probably be annoyed if you ever found out he meddled with things like that.
The girls in the accounting office always think it's so lovely whenever they see the pay increases. Yours and Jungkook's are never quite what they should be, and they know exactly why. It's why they always ask you how he is whenever you go to drop off inventory reports and materials lists with the lead accountant.
You think they just fancy the pants off him.
Which is also true.
And it's also why a couple of them are curiously standing outside your office space, giggling like school girls as you approach it.
"Morning," you smile, then laugh a little too at their giddy excitement—but when you turn the corner and realise what they're so smitten over, you're a little lost for words.
Sitting on your desk is quite possibly the largest bouquet of flowers you've ever seen. Peonies, you think from afar. Pretty and pale pink, they're in a glass vase. Two dozen easily, if not more, blooming just for you.
"Oh," you hum, because it's hardly what you expect to walk into on a Thursday morning.
Mingyu flashes through your head, but you haven't heard a peep from him since you last let your conversation dissolve over the weekend. He has no reason to send you flowers.
But nor does anyone else.
"We tried working out the message," one of them admits. "But whoever your secret admirer is, they're hell-bent on keeping it secret!"
Shameless, you think, suppressing a well-natured laugh. They've got balls to admit that they've read the note.
Walking to your desk, you see it sitting atop of the flowers, and read it for yourself.
Anyone reading the note who knows a single non-superficial thing about the mystery sender would know who it is in a heartbeat. All it takes for you to know is to see the name of who it's addressed to.
Bammie—
She's right. It does match you. When I get home we can dress you up in my new tie.
Tell the gremlin that you deserve head scratches.
And extra treats.
And that I miss her.
Glancing over to the girls, who desperately want gossip, you simply shrug. If they've never heard Jungkook talk about Bam before, then they clearly don't know him at all. If he wanted his name on the note, he'd have put it there.
He could have gotten them sent to his apartment. He chose here. But he also chose anonymity.
And so you give him a little grace.
"Your guess is as good as mine," you bullshit with an apologetic smile that no one believes.
Lea just looks at you from across the room with a raised brow. Waits until the girls leave, then says, "That's not the kind of bouquet you send a colleague."
She already knows you're looking after Bam. That being said, she hasn't read the card. Has no idea what it says. Just knows that there's only one man you ever talk about with such warmth to be deserving of those flowers from.
"Apparently it is," you shrug, all but confirming who sent them with a coy smile.
"I hope he lets Jiwon down gently," Lea sighs, knowing just as well as you do that she's got a bit of a thing for Jungkook.
What she doesn't know is that it's the exact reason you're fighting with him.
Hell, even he doesn't know that!
So deep in your denial, neither do you.
"Why would he need to?" You downplay it all. Lea doesn't know about the awkward call Jiwon inserted herself into, or the fact you've already decided that he must have fucked her. "Like I said, apparently these are the kind of flowers sent by just a colleague."
Lea shakes her head. Has been observing you and Jungkook for years. Was waiting for a Christmas party, or one of those nightmarish summer tennis tournaments for the pair of you to finally figure it out. You're just as thick as two wooden planks when it comes to all of this, or so it would seem. A little push might be needed.
"Colleagues don't send flowers just because," she tells you with an air of authority. "And if I know anything about the stories you've told me, Jungkook doesn't send flowers full stop."
Just like that, you're thinking of those damn tattoos again. The snake, specifically.
Maybe, just maybe, he is changing.
And if you weren't confused before, then you sure as hell are now.
During the summer months, Jungkook often goes home to see Bam at lunchtime. It's not uncommon for you to go with him. In the winter, when the temperature of his apartment is less of a worry, Jungkook probably only goes home for lunch once a week or so.
Walking up to Jungkook's apartment in the middle of the day without him feels a little bit wrong. In one hand, you're holding a peony by its stem. In the other, you're clutching your phone just in case he calls.
In all honesty, you had planned on taking the entire vase back, but it was bloody heavy. You'll wait until he's back in the office.
It might just be paranoia, or the misplaced assumption that everyone is obsessed with what Jungkook does, but you swear there have been far more people passing your office today than usual. People you've seen maybe once or twice in your entire lifetime.
Lea was right. Jungkook doesn't send flowers.
Has a repeat order going monthly for his mother, but that's it. And even then, he's kind of forgotten about it.
You've debated it with him before; flowers and their presence in relationships.
He thinks a potted plant would be far more practical, but if he was really going to get someone something, it'd be herbs. Maybe a potted mint bush. Something useful that they could enjoy together.
A few weeks ago, you had told him he'd make an awful sugar daddy.
"Well, yeah!" He'd just laughed. "I save my money for myself. Me alone. If someone wants nice shit, they can get their own job."
"Oh, so you'd never treat a girlfriend?" You'd scoffed, forgetting the fact he never really has girlfriends. Just flings. "Never get her nice shit?"
"Well, that's different," he'd said. "It's not transactional."
"Everything in life is transactional, whether people like to kid themselves it is or not."
Jungkook looked affronted when you said this. You'd had differing perceptions of life for as long as he'd known you, but you'd always been a romantic. Always believed in the prevailing nature of love.
Bam had adjusted in his sleepy position. Curled up a little tighter, then stretched right out. Rested his hind paws on your thighs and tucked his nose into his chest.
"Bam disagrees," Jungkook assured you.
"You trained him using transactions," you reminded him regardless. "Rewarded him with a treat every time he did as you asked. Transactional."
"Okay, but this?" He gestured to where Bam was curled between the pair of you on his sofa. That's always been a rule of his. No sofa for Bam—he's got all the beds he could ever want! But when Jungkook is on the sofa, it's the only place he wants to be, too. "He knows he's not supposed to be on here. He knows he won't get a reward, so why is he up here? It isn't transactional. He just—"
"Is playing you for a fool," you had laughed. "He wants to be on the sofa, so he lets us pet him in return for us not shooing him off. He's the one setting the transaction up. You're the one getting the reward. He's playing you at your own game. Aren't you, baby?"
You'd cooed a little, scratching at Bam's thigh. He shook it ever so gently and readjusted, but didn't stop resting against you.
It was a curious thought; the way that nothing in life ever comes for free. Even the favours you do for Jungkook by dog-sitting are transactional. You get just as much out of those days as he does.
The conversation had mellowed into something else, 'cause Jungkook didn't want to get into a debate. Knows that you can defend your point until the cows come home—has been in enough meetings with you to know as such. Likes being on your side 'cause you always win—and with a negotiator like him to seal the deal, it's always so much sweeter.
As the calling screen of Jungkook's contact details takes over your screen, phone resting against a wine bottle on the coffee table, you wonder how transactional this is.
He gave you flowers, and now you're giving him a call.
Anyone with a rational mind would surely ask: is this not how romance works?
But when he accepts your call, and you're met with a stern face that's desperately trying not to smile, you're reminded of what he really is: your best friend.
Neither of you wants to be the first one who cracks and gives in first, even if you both know this is all so stupid.
You reach over to pick up the peony. Hold it in front of your face. The petals have bloomed so spectacularly that it almost eclipses you.
Jungkook's face scrunches up a little, his terribly hidden smile slightly distorted but ever so hard to hide.
"Will you stop hating me now?" Is all he says.
"Never hated you," you grumble, bringing the flower a little lower, but still in frame. Sitting on the floor, your back is to the sofa and Bam is behind you, right where he's not supposed to be.
If Jungkook is bothered by it, he doesn't mention it. "I missed him this morning."
The guilt that crawls into your stomach and makes itself at home is rancid. Anguish is her name, and she loves nothing more than ruining a good thing.
The frown that steals the pretty smile from your face isn't one that Jungkook enjoys seeing on you, no matter how cute it is when your eyebrows pinch together.
"I should have called," you acknowledge, knowing that it was cruel of you not to, even if you were fighting. "I'm sorry."
Jungkook just smiles. "I assumed the stick was still up your arse."
Narrowing your eyes, you're pleased that he's joking with you; that things feel normal.
"It's fine," he dismisses regardless. "Last night was the opening event so I was a little worse for wear this morning, and then Jiwon was rummaging about at fuckin' six in the morning. Took her fuckin' hours to get ready."
And there it is; confirmation that she's been sharing his bed.
Though you don't frown, there's a stupor to the muscles in your face. The brightness you were looking at him with fades—and very quickly, Jungkook becomes the one who looks unhappy, now.
"What?" He says, genuinely a little confused.
It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter.
You just shake your head. Dismiss it. Flick the camera around and lift your phone to focus it on Bam as you give him a little scratch behind the ear.
"He's been good as gold," you begin to waffle on. The ridge between Jungkook's brows deepens. "Best boy in the doggie park, aren't you? There's a new couple who have just started walking a Yorkie. Yappy little bugger. I don't think Bam's a fan."
"No," Jungkook supposes. "He doesn't like yappy dogs—and I don't like it when you deflect. Show me your face, gremlin. What's going on?"
"Nothing!" You insist, but don't flick the camera back. Just get a little more boisterous with Bam, and while it does make Jungkook smile, he can't shake the horrible feeling that's building in his diaphragm.
Your Anguish has a cousin who goes by the name of Confusion, and she adores wrapping herself up in men who fail to communicate in a way that is healthy.
"C'mon," he softly says. Flicks his camera around. Shows you an empty hallway of the convention centre. Says, "I've left Jiwon in charge at the height of the day just so I can answer your call. Talk to me. What's wrong?"
"You didn't have to answer," you grumble.
Jungkook is smarter than most. Will have clocked the time of day and knew it was lunch. Definitely assumed you must be with Bam. It must be why he picked up.
Flicking the camera back on himself, Jungkook is almost at a loss for what else he can say to get you to open up.
A little honesty is needed.
And so you pout. Mumble, "They're calling you and Jiwon a dream team in the office."
Jungkook's frown intensifies as his dewy pink lips rest ajar. You'd say he looks distressed, but that's far too intense of an emotion for such a childish qualm.
He just knows that if he heard your partnership with another colleague—especially one in his department—being referred to like that, he'd take offence. It's you and him. You're the dream team. Always have been.
Shaking his head, Jungkook doesn't hide his contempt. Scoffs. "Fuck off. Dream team? She's using your strategies at a booth you designed, and even then, she's barely doing that—you know Acorn guy? The one you said to steer clear of? She's gunning for him—"
"Oh, you're kidding me," you gasp in disbelief. You warned her that he's bad news, multiple times. "Him?!"
"She's young," Jungkook says with a little judgement. Is scared of turning thirty, but definitely doesn't understand people who are closer to twenty. "He's just some hot guy on TV, to her. Doesn't realise his business is gonna tank. She isn't thinking about it long-term."
Which is funny, 'cause Jungkook never really used to think about things long term, either.
Sure, with investments and saving his money, he's always been a little cautious. When it comes to the business, though, it's someone else's money he's playing with. He takes risks. Does dumb shit and it gets rewards.
He really is incredibly good at his job, though. It's part of the reason the women love him, you always think.
It's not.
They like him because he's kind and also so bloody hot he should be on billboards, not in boardrooms.
You like him because he's competent.
In fact, you think there's nothing hotter than a competent man who just knows how to get shit done. And when said competent man can cook like Jungkook? Cares for his dog in the way he does? Looks like he does?
Sigh.
You ignore the way he looks a lot of the time, but you've a pair of eyes and a part of your brain that recognises attractive men. It's hard to ignore all of the time.
"Anyway," he shakes his head. "Not important. She's perfectly fine if not a little misguided—but she isn't you. So, stop worrying about it."
You take a second before you reply. Flick the camera back to you.
It surprises Jungkook, how Confusion has travelled through his bloodstream. Her bony fingers toy with his heart, and he's taken aback by just how sharp her nails are.
Looking at you never used to feel like this. He's not sure why it does now.
You muster up a little courage, even if you can't bring yourself to look at him properly. Let out a deep sigh. Now or never. You run the risk of causing another fight, but if you don't come clean, it'll only dirty everything.
"I just thought we kind of had an agreement, Kook," you eventually whine with an ever-so childish pout.
The hands that have been tearing at his heart migrate through his bloodstream. Get into his brain. Get into his house. Opens doors. Begins moving the furniture.
Stay out of the annexe, his thoughts hiss at Confusion.
Still he seems perfectly calm when he asks, "Watcha mean?"
He's not making this easy for you.
In fact, you'd say he's making it difficult. It would be far easier for you if he just acknowledged what he's already done.
"Well, just..." you take a moment or so to think about how it can be phrased with any dignity—and then you think fuck it. "She's in my department, Kook. I always thought you wouldn't fuck anyone I have to directly work with. It just makes it awkwa—"
"Woah, woah woah," he interrupts. Confusion sits on his shoulder, now, with a twisted smirk on her greyed-out face. "Wouldn't fuck anyone? What the hell do you think I've been doing?!"
"Well, I mean, it's less what and more... who," you joke a little too flippantly.
You don't think he's ever looked so offended in the entire time you've known him.
"You've got to be kidding me."
If anything, you're a bit surprised by just how offended he is. Jiwon is an incredibly pretty girl. A little young for him, granted, but not abhorrently so.
"What?!" You reply, equally confused, then relay everything back to him. "She woke you up this morning getting ready? Was in your room when I called you? Fucking got on your bed right in front of my face and cosied up with you to look at Bam."
Admittedly, that last one was said with a little venom. It annoys you the most.
"She woke me up this morning from across the room," he counters. "Was in our room because we were a last-minute addition to the convention, and it was the only room left within a ten-mile radius—twin beds, may I add! If I don't even share my bed with you when I'm at home, then what the hell makes you think I'd share one with her?! Yeah, the call thing was weird. I'm not gonna lie, it was, but I answered when she was around because I didn't want either of you to get the wrong impression."
A smile wobbles on your lips, as you try to remain stoic. Either of you. You know that you apparently got the wrong end of the stick—but you're not entirely sure what he means by either of you. You wonder what impression he's trying to give her, then decide it's not important.
You clasp your hands together. Lean forward. Put on your best noble old man voice, and say, "Well, it appears that it might have just happened, regardless."
Confusion's perch on Jungkook's shoulder is knocked loose when he laughs, though those sharp nails do claw onto his back. Leave scratch marks that will take a little while to heal—what's important is that they will.
One day, this awkward misstep will be something you laugh about. Kind of like he is, now. You'll forget your tears, but you won't ever forget the strange feeling of weight lifting off your shoulders, mind eased by Jungkook.
"You're a fucking idiot," he laughs with such fondness it almost doesn't feel like an insult. "Seriously? You thought I fucked her? And was then, what? Trying to brag about it? C'mon, you little gremlin! Give me some credit."
Never before has 'gremlin' ever sounded so kind. So warm. So much like 'darling', or 'mon amour'. Secret code for unspoken words.
"I don't know," you whine. Bam shuffles a little bit on the sofa behind you, turning his face away from the noise. You reach back to scratch his head as an apology. Jungkook smiles. Your care for his baby is so innate that you don't even realise you're doing it. "Her hair was damp, and she was practically falling out of her top—"
"Oh, but what I am supposed to do?" He laughs. "I can't tell her to cover up in her own damn room, and even then I just ignore it. I didn't sleep with her. I'm not going to sleep with her. Okay?"
He's not even thought about it. Feels nothing when he looks at her. No excitement. Even if she is attractive, he doesn't think his body would work properly.
Hasn't been working as it should do for the best part of a year now.
Or maybe it would better be referred to as 'malfunctioning'.
'Cause it seems to work okay when he thinks about you.
He 'malfunctioned' earlier on that day, as a matter of fact. Was just showering. And he missed you. And was thinking about those damn pyjama shorts. How smooth your legs had been when he'd hoisted you over his shoulder. How pliant you'd been as he chucked you down into his sheets. Your sleepy eyes and the 3AM husk to your voice. Fuck.
Even thinking about it in a dingy hallway of a convention centre, with your pretty face smiling at him through his phone, is making his heart race. If he doesn't get a hold on it, he'll go into cardiac. Might just flatline.
"Look, I gotta get back, okay?" He softly says. It's not a lie, but it is more sensible than he wants to be. "Have to make sure Jiwon hasn't sold the company to the acorn guy. There's a networking event tonight, so I can't call during Bammie's walk, but I'll check in at some point."
"Alright," you nod, a little sad to see him go, but understanding of it. "Hurry up and come home. Bam misses you."
"I miss him, too," Jungkook pouts. "Show me my baby before I go."
Phone angled to fully capture Bam, you indulge Jungkook for a few moments before he really does have to go. He lingers for a second or so after you say goodbye. Can't muster up anything good to say to make you stay.
Holding the stem of the single peony you'd taken home with you, you roll it between your thumb and fingers. Watch the petals twirl.
"What should I do, hey, Bam?" You wistfully sigh, eventually getting up to pop it in a glass of water. Jungkook has no vases, for he's never had any need for flowers.
The peony isn't the only thing blooming in his kitchen these days, though. It hasn't been for a while.
Work passes slowly that afternoon. You want to get home. See Bam. Finish off the wine you opened so that Jungkook doesn't scold you for letting it turn into vinegar when he gets back. And then you wanna sleep—just so you can wake up the next morning and take Bam on his walk.
It's not like that isn't part of your agenda tonight, too. It's just that Jungkook won't be around for that one.
Instead, his evening is spent in fancy rooms with men in even fancier suits and women who take a fancy to him, too. A whisky is in his hands at all times, his pretty lips embroiled in conversation. He talks so much he barely has any time to drink.
People gravitate towards him; those who feel threatened by his charm gravitate towards Jiwon. Mistake her for a prize he's trying to keep. Don't realise his unbothered facade is anything but a facade.
It's gone midnight by the time he's kicking off his shoes with a little wobble as he gets to his hotel room.
"I'm being serious," he almost giggles, phone between his shoulder and his ear as he loosens his cufflinks. "It's a wig. I'm positive."
280 miles away, phone on your tummy, loudspeaker on as you gaze up at Jungkook's bedroom ceiling, you're laughing too.
"It can't be," you protest the current topic of conversation—Mr Acorn (as he's now affectionately known between you both) and whether or not his hair is real. Jungkook had left Jiwon to continue her poorly judged perusal of him, in favour of checking in with you instead. There was no one else at that party he wanted to talk to more than he wanted to talk to you. Laughing and joking about stupid shit, he's glad you answered. "He went swimming on Singles Inferno!"
"So?!" Jungkook snorts, tapping his phone over to loudspeaker too and tossing it down onto his sheets. A little haphazard, he's unbuttoning his shirt. Is a little tipsy, but not enough to warrant any huge issues. "Maybe he used industrial strength glue."
"Surely he'd rather people just know he was bald? Start a trend?"
"Maybe he's got a terrible head tattoo," Jungkook theorises, tossing his shirt across to a chair, before finally discarding his pants, too. Is just in his boxers now as he clambers into the sheets. "Bald eagle. An ex's name. I dunno. But I'd take chemical burns over that."
"You'd never get a girl's name tattooed on you," you laugh in response. Legs tucked up, heels to your ass, you let your knees gently sway. Bam is curled up in his own bed by the foot of Jungkook's. You're not on facetime, mainly 'cause Jungkook clicked the wrong button, but it's also nice not using poor Bam as an excuse to talk to you.
"And I'm also not balding, so we don't have to worry about that."
"Are you not?" You hum, just to wind him up. "I swear there's a patch of missing hair—"
"Shut up," he cuts you off, voice just as fond as it is stern. "I will swim all the way back to the mainland and speed run up to Seoul just to shut you up. Don't speak it into existence. I have great hair."
"Mmm," you hum. Sinking a little further into his sheet, you turn on your side. Take him off speaker. Hold your phone to your ear. Look at the empty side of his bed and wonder what it'd be like if he were here. Know better than to indulge it. "And you are just so modest, too. Absolutely no ego whatsoever."
"It's why the ladies love me," he jokes, not realising just how true it is. Jungkook takes a moment before he says anything else. Is comforted by the silence you leave for him, totally unaware it's because you're not sure how to respond. "Not that it matters."
Though his delivery is soft and airy, like feathers falling from a well established nest, it lands in your chest with a heavy thud, like a stone from a bridge. You couldn't swerve in time. It shattered your windshield; plummeted straight into your heart. 'Causes a pile up on the freeway, all your thoughts held behind a tongue that cannot speak.
"You tired?" Jungkook hums down the speaker when a response never comes. "I'm sorry, I can let you go?"
"No," you say incredibly quickly considering you've been leaving your side of the conversation empty. "No, sorry. Just can't believe you're actually behaving yourself. Who are you, and what have you done with Cassanova that normally takes a hold of you after a few drinks?"
He's right here, Jungkook laments, knowing better than to act on the way he's been feeling lately. Just says, "Maybe I'm maturing."
"I find that hard to believe," you tell him. If the tiktok psychology gurus who have taught you everything you know about modern men are anything to go by, his brain should have finished fully developing about a year ago.
And while Jungkook would tell you to get fucked and that his brain was already fully developed, he knows that if he sat down and really thought about it, maybe it'd hold some merit. Afterall, it's been about a year since those first thoughts about you started creeping into his mind house.
It's only recently that he's been flirting with that damn annexe door, but he's been aware of someone in there for a while, now.
"What?" He smiles down the phone, resting an arm on his bare abdomen, looking up at the dark ceiling of his hotel room. "Maybe I am. Maybe shagging random girls doesn't excite me anymore."
"You're lying."
"Am I?"
"Yes," you insist, but there's a smile on your face.
There's something about his denial you enjoy.
It's why you're arguing against him. You wanna hear him deny it again. Tell you he doesn't care about other girls. You don't necessarily want him to care about you beyond what he already does. Or at least that's what you tell yourself.
"No," he simply replies back. "I'm not."
"So if Jiwon—"
"Why are you bringing her up again?" He's smirking, now. You can hear it in his tone. "Are you jealous?"
"Jealous?!"
"Yeah," He insists, just like you had been earlier. "You don't like the idea of her sleeping with me."
Incorrect. You don't like the idea of him sleeping with her.
"Well, no," you admit. "But because I work with her—"
"That's not it," he fights against you. Knows that you didn't go and see Mingyu when you said you would, and also now knows you said you would after you thought he'd slept with Jiwon. He might not be able to read women's minds, but he's learnt your M.O. pretty well over the years.
"You're drunk," you whisper, trying to hide behind the alcohol that both of you have in your systems. Neither of you are in any position to make sensible choices.
"Tipsy," he corrects. "And so are you. Go on. Be honest. Tell me."
"There's nothing to tell."
"Yeah, there is," he whispers, his words far braver in sentiment than they are in sound.
You swallow. Can't work out if he's just teasing you or not. "There's nothing."
The silence in the room around you is deafening. It's like all you can focus on is Jungkook, and the way you imagine his lips pouting together at the end of each sentence he speaks. Pretty and pink and—
"So you've never thought about it?" He interrupts your thoughts with a question you're unprepared for.
"What?" You reply a little dismissively, as if it's an outlandish think to consider.
But Jungkook doesn't buy it.
Has been driving himself insane.
Knows he can't be the only one—and if he is, then maybe he really is insane.
"Us," he replies as if it's water off a duck's back. Simple. Easy. "You've never wondered what it would be like?"
"Kook..."
It's like playing chicken. Both too scared to cross a line for fear of it changing the entire fabric of your lives.
But you can acknowledge something without acting on it. Confirmation means nothing; it's the choices that follow which really mean something,
"Yeah?" He husks. His sleepy eyes are pressed shut, his voice a slow drawl. "What is it, huh? You want me to admit it first?"
You almost laugh at how dumb this whole conversation is. You're friends. Have been for years. Colleagues. Just... Well, just you and Jungkook. He's never thought about you like that. You're certain of it.
Yet still, you ask, "Well, have you?"
He doesn't reply immediately. You half think he's drifted off to sleep, proof that he'd had too much to drink to be having a conversation like this.
But then you hear his breathy little laugh through the speaker. You know he must be nibbling down on his bottom lip as he smirks. The sound is so familiar you can picture it. You wish he was here. Want to see it. Feel it.
Fuck, you curse yourself out. This is not good.
And Jungkook's only gonna make it a whole lot worse.
"Yeah," he quietly admits, keys in one hand and padlock in the other as he stares at the annexe door in his mind. Wide open, there's no going back now. Only forward. "I think about it all the time."
Bam nuzzles the side of his head against your tummy as he adjusts into a slightly more comfortable position on Jungkook's bed. The sheets are a mess from all your tossing and turning, your body plonked right in the middle of his mattress. There's no his side or your side anymore. You've made it yours, and Bam has joined in.
He shouldn't be on the bed. You know this, he knows this. You're both disobeying Jungkook. Are in this perfectly innocent sin together, and will face the wrath of Jungkook as a unit.
There's never really much wrath that comes from Jungkook. He's the type to smirk and laugh in the face of the people who've wronged him. Believes in karma. Fate. He draws the lines at horoscopes, though. Thinks they're bollocks. Smiles, still, when you blame shitty things on Mercury.
The only time you've ever seen him angry—nostrils flaring, jaw tense, agitated beyond compare—was when some guy wouldn't stop hitting on you in a bar. You'd told him no a dozen times over and he just wouldn't listen.
It still pisses you off that he listened to Jungkook without hesitation, but you also know it looked like Jungkook was gonna break his nose. You're far less intimidating when you're annoyed. Jungkook laughs at you whenever you get frustrated. Says you're cute—or at least as cute as a Gremlin can be.
You've got a similar look on your face now, all perplexed and bereft. If he were here, he'd be teasing you, trying to make you crack a smile.
Annoyingly, you know he'd be able to.
You're staring up at his ceiling, early morning light seeping in through the gaps in the curtains. The world you wish to ignore today rudely intrudes on you regardless.
It's his karma, you think.
You disobey Jungkook, the world disobeys you.
With one hand resting on Bam, the other is tightly clutching your phone. For the past five minutes, you've been locking and unlocking it like a wind-up toy drummer.
To call, or not to call, or whatever Shakespeare said.
The faint hum of a wine-induced hangover buzzes between your ears, but it isn't so bad. Probably because you didn't really have that much to drink.
If anyone asks, you'll say you had a bottle.
And by anyone, you mean Jungkook.
If Jungkook asks, you'll laugh— We had a call? Are you sure? —and he'll laugh too— Yeah, we were both pretty drunk —and you'll both pretend like he didn't say the words that he did.
Pulling the pillow he usually sleeps on across to your face, you press it down. Scream into the padding. It's not loud enough to alarm Bam, but it is enough to make him cock his head.
It wouldn't have been so bad if it had only been Jungkook's lips that were loose last night.
The issue is that yours were, too.
You wish you didn't remember all the words you'd said. The way you'd told him to shut up.
The way he'd hummed, "Oh, come on. You know you think about it, too."
The way you'd said, "I do no such thing."
He had laughed. Said you were a liar.
You'd protested. Said it didn't matter anyways, 'cause you both know it'd never work.
"So you have thought about it," he'd teased.
"Briefly."
"How briefly?"
"Like a matter of minutes—"
"Okay, rude," he'd pouted through the receiver. "I last way longer than a couple of minutes."
"You're disgusting," you'd laughed at the way he'd made it all about sex.
For all he knew, you could have been talking about a relationship—but you're right. You both know it'd never work, so of course this is about sex.
"You the one who's thought about it, though," he'd flirted through the phone. Biting down on his bottom lip, the darkness of his hotel room had slipped him into a fatal state of hedonism.
There was a beat of his heart. One. Two. Still no response from you.
He knew you were thinking about it. Thinking about him. Decided to push his luck. Had almost whispered, his fingertips trailing down his torso, as he chanced, "Do you ever think about me when you touch yourself?"
Silence continued to linger for longer than it should have, until you finally just whispered, "Kook."
"Yeah?" He'd smirked.
"You can't ask things like that."
But he can, and he did, and your lack of an answer was an answer in and of itself.
He wasn't even really after the truth. He just wanted to get under your skin; burrow himself down into the deepest, darkest, most depraved corner of your brain. Revenge, he thinks, for that damn annexe you've assigned squatters rights to.
You set up home in him? Fine . He'll do it right back.
"So this is what I am, huh?" You'd replied, with a little faux chip on your shoulder, trying to deflect from yourself. "Just another office girl for you to fantasize about?"
There's always been a challenge to you that Jungkook has liked. You're sparring partners. Will bicker and argue and end up laughing over it all. It makes for excellent brainstorming meetings, 'cause you're always trying to win. You bring out the best in each other, even if it is in a bid to do the opposite.
Jungkook had sighed. Weighed up his options. Rested his hands over his boxers, only to find himself far too entertained by the conversation. It wasn't a surprise, nor was it unwelcome.
The frequency of his thoughts about you had been doubling, tripling, quadrupling ever since Chuseok.
His bed has become a pit of sin in recent weeks; nobody but him in the shrouded decay of a mind-house he's been neglecting in favour of the annexe shared with you.
He already knows just how bad it's gonna be for him when he returns home, and the pillows are dented by your crown, the lingering scent of your perfume wrapping around him just like he knows his hand will be around his cock. Tight. Strong. Firm. It's your name he'll whine, just like it was when he was in the shower earlier that morning.
God, it's gotten so bad.
He needs to stop before he ruins everything.
It's not like sex is an uncommon topic of conversation between you both. Casual vulgarity had been a tool used to bond with; a taboo way to tease one another. It's always been casual. Uncalculated.
It's different, now.
In the darkness of midnight, the stakes were raised almost as high as your heart rate.
"You think so poorly of me," he'd whined, a teasing smile on his lips. It wasn't rare to hear Jungkook address you so playfully. In fact, it was a common occurrence—yet it felt strange, this time. "You know you're not just another office girl."
"Do I?"
"You should."
"I don't," you'd shrugged into his sheets. "Tell me, how am I different?"
The distance between you made a flirt like this safe. Immediate consequences were null and void, and the alcohol in your system didn't seem to care for it either.
"I can't tell you."
"Sure you can."
"You don't wanna hear it," he'd promised.
"Try me," you'd challenged.
And then Jungkook admitted something he knew far better than to confess, but couldn't seem to help himself. He just wanted you to know that you were special. That you were different.
That you are different. Are special.
"None of the office girls have ever made me cum in my own bed."
It came out far less sweet than his brain had told him it would, but it was still a compliment, he thought.
"Jungkook!"
"What?!"
The way you both kind of shrieked at each other only amplified the shock of the confession, but also did well to hide the way it excited you, too. Got you hot beneath his sheets. Aroused.
"Don't say things like that," you'd scolded him with a laugh, playing it off as a joke. "I'll report you to HR."
"You'd do no such thing," he'd smirked down the line. Matched your energy. Played it off as an incredibly obscene, vulgar joke. Will turn his nose up if you ever ask him if he was telling the truth. "And anyways, the HR girls love me. You'd be fighting a losing battle."
"You're awful," you'd told him with such a tenderness that suggested you really didn't think that at all.
And so he smiled. Decided to cut his losses. Agreed. "Yeah. That's me."
The conversation dissolved into casual chatter until you both made excuses about being tired, or needing to sleep off the alcohol.
Yet both of you would spend the next hour awake, staring at your respective ceilings. Occasionally, you'd look to the space reserved for him in his bed. He'd do just the same. Would look at Jiwon's empty bed and lament the fact that it wasn't you on the trip with him.
He never should have asked you to watch over Bam—but there really isn't anyone else he'd rather have in his apartment.
Then he's thinking about you all over again, in his home, hair claw-clipped like it so often is, and how cute those little pyjama shorts of yours would look peeking out from the hemline of one of his shirts. He wonders what you're wearing; if it's your bare skin against his sheets. Wonders if he sleeps naked after he gets home, if it'd feel like your arms are wrapped around him; if the scent of your perfume would sink into his skin.
It doesn't take long for the thoughts to become lewd. He thinks of your lips, and how they'd part with a gasp if he were to stroke your skin with his fingertips. Thinks of your waist, and what it would feel like to hold. Thinks of your body in a way that really ought to get him fired.
How his lips could drag across your skin; the wet pink of his tongue learning where you liked to be touched. How he'd guide your hands. The words of approval he'd use— Yeah, like that. Oh, fuck. Yeah, just like that, baby. You're so good at that aren't you, huh? You know how many times I've imagined this? You're so much better. G'na make me cum, babe. Keep going. You want my cum, yeah? Yeah, you do. Oh, fuck—
"No," he sharply scolds himself, tearing his thoughts from you and his hand from his thick, impatient cock. "Fucks sake, man. Get a grip."
Wanting you like this is selfish, he thinks. Selfish and stupid and— God —so fuckin' dumb.
He also thinks it's your fault. You're an interior designer, after all. Have made that stupid annexe feel more like a home than the rest of his head ever has. Added candles and cushions. Hung pictures on the wall; turned off the main light in favour of warm lamps that just make him wanna curl up and fall asleep with you on the sofa.
It's so different, this little annexe in his brain, to the apartment that he actually lives in.
If he were to assess it thoroughly, he'd realise that the annexe looks just like your apartment.
But he hates your place. Has never been shy about telling you so. Hates all your nicknacks. Hates the clothing rails you use instead of a proper wardrobe, and the way your beside table is actually just a stack of books you're yet to read. Hates how there's always a cosy blanket within touching distance, and how it always smells like black cherry candles. Hates how firm your mattress is, even if he's only ever slept on it once, fully clothed after you'd both had way too much to drink after a tight work deadline.
He also hated how he didn't wake up with an aching back like he usually does. Hated how sleeping in his own damn bed began to feel wrong, and how nowadays it only feels right during those first few days after he returns from trips; when it still smells like you and the rings you take off your fingers in the night are still tucked beneath his pillows.
Kind of like they are now, as you finally decide to stop being a miserable cow and just get up. You're normally the one who calls him, and it's typically always when you're walking Bam. Last night had been an anomaly. There's no reason for him to call you, now.
It's when you're showering that your phone lights up. Only briefly. Messages, not calls.
JK: can't call this morning, gotta head to the exhibition hall early
JK: give my baby a head scratch from me
JK: send me pics!!
JK: of bam
JK: none of you
While the vomit emoji he adds onto the end of the final message is a little uncalled for, it's actually kind of a relief that he doesn't want to call. Having to face him right now, when you're in such a sorry state of confusion, would have only made the situation far worse for you.
At least that's what you tell yourself.
Your face when you walk into the office, and the state of despair Lea seems to find you in, would suggest otherwise.
By half past ten, you've managed to wrangle Jungkook into conversation eight times.
It's not until you mention him in relation to Jiwon that Lea seems to notice.
"Okay, so?" She laughs. "Everyone knows you and Jungkook are like a package deal. She isn't taking your spot—plus, you're her senior . If she tried to undercut you, do you think anyone would want to work with her?"
It's a good point, but you don't really care to listen to reason right now.
"But it's not undercutting," you pout. "You saw everyone in the group chat. Dream team. "
The way your voice heightens in pitch and nose turns up as you utter the phrase is nothing short of hilarious, and Lea makes sure to let you know.
"You're being a big old baby about this," she laughs again. "Jungkook's gonna come back, relay all of the deals he's set up, and then he's gonna whisk you up to his office to spend the next two weeks drawing up plans. I doubt I'll even see you!"
Admittedly, in the busy periods, you'll work at his desk. In the big chair. The special one he got after his first bonus. The one on his side of the desk. He'll work on the opposite side—the client side—with his laptop.
It's caused a fair amount of confusion before, whenever people have come to his office. Your nonchalance about it all makes it seem totally normal. Most people don't question it anymore—and if they do, you just say the programme you have to use runs better on his computer than it does on a laptop.
Which isn't a lie.
But you could always just work at your own desk.
The issues is that Jungkook likes to keep you close when he's working. Makes it easier for the random questions he blurts out that you're always ready to answer. Annoys him to no end when you're not there and he has to go off and find you.
By the time he finds you, the question is always half gone or you start blathering on about something completely irrelevant and he forgets it anyway. It makes him antsy not having you close.
Neither of you seem to realise it's not normal.
"Look," Lea sighs, minimising her tab so that she can give you her full attention. "You're the one who suggested Jiwon should go. It's just work! You're acting like a jealous girlfriend—"
"No, I'm not!" You gasp. "Don't be absurd!"
"Well, whose apartment did you wake up in?"
"That's hardly—"
"Whose?"
"I mean— Well— His, but —"
"Who was the first person you spoke to this morning?"
"Okay, that's not fair. I'm looking after his—"
"Who was the last person you spoke to last night?"
You pause. Narrow your eyes.
Lea just smiles.
"At least tell me you're in the spare room and not his bed," she jokes—but when she notices the look on your face, her smile drops. "Oh, you're kidding me! You know what you're like when it comes to domestication ! You're bloody nesting , aren't you?!"
"Oh c'mon," you scoff. "I'm not an animal!"
"Uh, yeah," she says, dumbfounded. "You are. That's the issue with humans. Too many bloody primal desires—"
"I do not have a primal desire for Jungkook!"
"Look me in the eyes and tell me you've never thought about it."
"I haven't!" You assert, eyes locked on hers. It's almost believable. Or at least it is until your lips begin to twitch. The look of shock on her face is borderline offensive. "Oh my God, shut up!"
Lea's face scrunches up in revulsion. Shoulders to her ears, she whispers, "He's a whore !"
"Okay, that's not nice."
"But it's true!"
Sighing, you slump into your chair. Push your pout up to your nose, and then sigh even deeper than before.
Looking across at Lea with such perplexity anyone would think she's just asked you to design interiors for a rocket ship, you decide you absolutely cannot let this confusion get the better of you.
"It's fine," you assure her. "He's coming home tomorrow evening. Once I'm out of his house, I'll be way more rationable about things."
"You sure?"
No.
"I'm sure."
As Jungkook places his rucksack down beside a bar stool in an airport lounge, he can't help but feel like he's doing something wrong.
It's dark outside, and the dim lights of the bar give way to a seedy intimacy that he's always loved about places like this—how fleeting they are. The casual embrace of a stranger's stare can linger for hours afterwards, consuming his thoughts for an entire flight.
Yet the only people he's even looked in the eyes of tonight have been the airport staff checking him through. Even as he asks for a whisky, he barely registers the woman behind the bar.
Placing his phone down, he also discards the lanyard that's been around his neck. He forgot to take it off before heading to their airport, and just popped it back on after going through the scanners.
It's not like he needs it now. The conference centre is miles away.
He's still in his business suit. Left quickly. Just confirmed with Jiwon that she didn't mind him catching an earlier flight and in all honesty, it suited her better. Jungkook had been so annoying about Acorn guy the entire time. Kept telling her it was a waste of energy, and no business would come from her pursuit of him. She wanted the chance to prove him wrong; to achieve something by herself.
"Are you Leaving early, too?" An American accent drawls from beside him, immediately grabbing Jungkook's attention.
A burly man with greying hair takes a perch on the stool beside Jungkook. Nodding towards the lanyard, he holds up his own. Mitch Ellis his tag reads, and instantly Jungkook is reminded of the folder you had handed to him before his departure.
"Did a little research on an American company that's gonna be at the Expo. Their head marketer has shares in a bunch of baseball-related companies. Get pally with him."
The opportunity hadn't arisen. Jungkook barely even had time to breathe, let alone seek out some elusive American businessman—yet here he is, in the flesh, approaching Jungkook.
Sucking a little air between his teeth, Jungkook nods. Laughs. Says, "Got a family to get back to."
What. The. Fuck.
He doesn't know why on earth he said that, he just knows he can't take it back. A family. For Christ's sake! It's not just the abandoned house in his brain that's rotting—it's the whole damn thing. Stupid .
Pursing his lips in approval, Mitch nods. Lends an expression that Jungkook can only assume means he respects the answer.
"Family man," he says. "Don't see many of them in the industry these days."
Jungkook shrugs. Continues on with his bullshit. "I love my job, but home's where the heart is." Or at least, it's where his dog is. Of course, he loves Bam more than he cares to articulate—but a man and his dog surely don't constitute to a 'family'. "You off early, too?"
"Wife and kids tagged along for the trip," he nods, then quickly asks the barmaid for a whisky, too. "Promised I'd take them to Lotte World tomorrow."
Jungkook grimaces. "Ooft, on a Saturday?"
"The crowds that bad, huh?"
Gritting his teeth, Jungkook tips his head from side to side, then says, "Get magic passes for the family. It's worth the extra price. Trust me."
He'd never dream of going to Lotte World on a Saturday.
In fact, he doesn't dream of it full stop. Grew up going to the Busan franchise, and would opt for it any day of the week. Everland would be his second choice if couldn't be bothered for the drive. But never the Jamsil Lotte World. It's always rammed .
"I swear, kids—" Mitch shakes his head "—All they do is bleed you dry."
Jungkook smiles. "I'm yet to reach that stage, but I can imagine."
Mitch looks appropriately confused. Did Jungkook not just make up a bullshit imaginary family? Surely he hasn't faltered already?
Jungkook clarifies, "Going home to my girl and my dog. No kids—or at least if I've acquired one over the last couple of days, it'll be a surprise."
He doesn't know why he said that.
My girl.
Oh, God. He's going insane. He must be. This is ridiculous.
Those stupid dreams of his had already started migrating into daydreams. Now, they're being spoken into reality. This is terrible. Really, truly, awful.
Mitch has an easy ten, maybe twenty years on Jungkook.
His hair is greying, and there are lines embedded into his skin that tell stories of the life he's lived.
While it's his career Jungkook would typically be envious of, he finds himself jealous of Mitch's personal life. Wife. Kids. God, he hates the conformity of it all, but there's an ache in his chest when he thinks about all that he doesn't have.
And it only worsens when he thinks of you and Bam.
"Ah, young love," Mitch nods, again seemingly in approval of Jungkook and his 'choices'—which is bizarre, because Jungkook wants to punch himself in the face. "Make the most of it. You'll be longing for the good old days once the kids come."
It's too late for Jungkook to correct himself. Too late to admit to the truth. To say 'lol, jk, im single, just fancy the pants off my coworker.'
The thought of it all makes him want to hurl. Fancy.
He's never admitted his crush before, not even to himself. Oh, this is all so awful.
And so Jungkook panics. Says, "Hopefully we've got a couple years before then. We're both at the same company, so we're trying to figure it all out before doing anything we can't take back."
What is wrong with you?!
"Oh?" Mitch chirps, encouraging Jungkook to continue.
"Were interns at the same time," Jungkook begins to overexplain, as if it makes it any better. He's speaking a crush into existence that he isn't even sure exists, and declaring it as love of some sorts? Oh, this is really barbaric. He might throw up. Maybe if he pretends to faint, he can get out of this situation. He thinks it would be less mortifying. Yet, still, he continues! "Have gone up through the ranks together, but are different departments."
Why is he still talking about you?!
Oh God, his head is gonna explode. It's like you're building an extension on the annexe. He never gave you planning permission, and yet there you are, concrete trowel in one hand, a brick in the other. You're so pretty, he thinks.
Get a grip!
"HR nightmare," Mitch laughs, then leans a little closer. "Truth be told, it's how me and the missus met—I worked for her Daddy's company. Thought I'd be fired on the spot when we told him."
"But I'm guessing...?"
Mitch nods. "I'm now their longest-serving employee and am set to take over in the next five years," he laughs. Thankfully, it all worked out. Hopefully, the same'll be said for you and your missus."
Jungkook's lips curve into a tight-lipped smile. Decides he has to change topic, or otherwise he might just self-implode. "Yeah. Fingers crossed—anyway, I don't think we had a chance to speak at the conference, did we? What's your company?"
As if Jungkook has earned a gold seal of approval, Mitch nods his head over towards a couple of chairs that overlook the runways. Picks up his whisky. Begins to walk away. Says, "I was about to ask you the exact same thing. What did you say your name was again? Let's talk."
"Jeon Jungkook," he grins, picking up his whisky, finally forcing you out of his brain. "Yeah. Let's chat."
"Bammie," you whine into Jungkook's pillows when the sound of his paws excitedly clattering across the floorboards wakes you. You can't have been asleep for very long. A couple hours, tops. "It's not time for walkies yet."
Burrowing yourself deeper into Jungkook's sheets, you try and drown out the noise–but it's fruitless. Not only is Bam too cute to ignore, you worry that there's something wrong.
Sitting up, eyes all beary, the dark nothingness around you clues you in on the fact it's definitely the middle of the night. Pushing the duvet off your body, you swing your legs over the side of the bed as your phone begins to vibrate. Jungkook's face takes over your screen, and a frown takes over yours.
Part of you wants to ignore it. Wonder if maybe you've already slept through it ringing out, and that's what woke Bam up.
At this time of the evening, Jungkook should be at the afterparty. It's unofficial, and not endorsed by the convention, which only means one thing: people are getting legless.
He'd sent you a message earlier on in the day saying that Jiwon was still trying her absolute hardest to bag the Acorn man, after an unsuccessful attempt the night before. You wonder if he's wing-manning her.
Bitterly, you wonder if she's cut her losses. Turned her attention to Jungkook, instead.
He's probably shitfaced by now.
Part of you worries he'll want to continue the conversation from the night before. You're too sober to even consider flirting.
Sliding across to answer, you hold the phone to your ear and you begin to walk in the direction of wherever Bam may be.
"Yeah?" You croak down the phone, rubbing your eyes with the back of your hand.
"You sound chirpy," he teases.
Bizarrely, you think he sounds sober. "Fuck off."
"Charming. Undo the bolt on the door," Jungkook demands down the line, but there's almost an echo, as if he's just in the other room or something like that.
Your feet softly pad into the living room, the darkness not much of a hindrance. You know his apartment like the back of your hand; the veins, the freckles, the grooves dappled in your skin below your knuckles. All it takes is a couple of steps for you to reach the light switch, and absolutely zero thought for you to flick it on.
"Hm?" You mumble a confused sound as light bursts into the room. Your eyes squeeze together, a groan catching in your throat. Blinking once, twice, you adjust quickly. Spot Bam by the entryway, looking up at the door expectantly. One of his paws taps at the steel, a soft whine trembling on his lips. Turning your attention back to Jungkook, you say, "What?"
"'I'm home, gremlin," Jungkook softly smiles down the phone. "Let me in."
"But it-" You begin to protest, knowing that his flight isn't until tomorrow.
Jungkook doesn't care to explain himself. Is just as tired as you sound.
"Let me in."
You don't need to be told twice.
He's home.
It shouldn't make you feel the way that it does, all warm and content.
But it does, and for a moment, you let yourself indulge in the sensation of welcoming Jungkook right back to where he belongs.
Hanging up, you place your phone on the kitchen counter, reaching out to scratch Bam's head when you get to the door.
"Is it daddy, huh?" You ask him as he continues to paw at the door. There's a small metallic click as you unthread the bolt, which is quickly replaced by a robotic beep as you press the easy-release button for the latch.
Before you can even properly open the door, the handle is being pressed down from the outside. The sound of Jungkook's hushed voice echoes into the hallway instantly as he coos over Bam just to wind him up a little before he can see him.
"Who is it, Bammie?" He asks through the door, and you already know exactly what he looks like—smile so large it takes over his entire face.
You help to push the door open, and find that there's sunshine in the middle of the night in Jungkook's hallway.
"You're home," you sleepily smile as you watch Jungkook crouch, arms wide and all-encompassing as he greets Bam in the most boisterous of ways. He's not making any sense. Isn't saying any words. Just lets noises rumble from his throat, of which Bam somehow seems to understand.
In a way, you understand it too. The mental translation is a bit patchy, but you know it's something along the lines of, I've missed you so much Bammie, Daddy's home now, let's never spend time apart ever again.
Glancing up to you, that daylight smile hanging off his lips, Jungkook's got a glisten in his tired eyes.
Maybe you haven't adjusted to the light as well as you think you have, but there's something different about Jungkook. Something that's making your weary heart work overtime. It's all a bit strange. All a bit lovely. All a bit terrifying.
"Yeah," he tenderly agrees, hands scratching behind Bam's floppy ears as his eyes fondly meet yours. How could he ever stay away? "Home."
part three to be uploaded tomorrow <3
#byholly#jungkook fanfic#jungkook fanfiction#jungkook angst#jungkook smut#jungkook ff#jk ff#jungkook x reader#jungkook imagine#bangtan fic#officeworker!jungkook#fuckboy!jungkook#f2l#jungkook fluff
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Personal coach Red Hood
Idea by @impyssadobsessions where Jazz needs a personal trainer from a gotham hero and chooses red hood. Eventual ship content. This is more of a setting so far but i have ideas. I accept ideas too, im just balling
I'm going to try a more chill and lax posting with this bad boy. I feel like my rigid way of organizing is making me feel restricted so this will be 1000% vibes and let's see where it goes.
Part 2
---
Jazz knew this was a stupid idea. Dangerous. Suicidal, maybe, depending on who would answer her call. But she still had to try.
You may be wondering how a twenty something young woman ends up following Gotham heroes around with a notepad. She wasn’t looking for an autograph, or for the latest scoop on the heroes, trying to uncover their secrets.
She was actually writing down their patterns and observations in behavior, trying to map their patrol routes and create a decent enough file and expectations of the heroes.
What did she need the information for?
She needed a personal trainer.
No, not the kind you hire at the gym. She already tried that and it didn’t work. She also tried MMA, and kickboxing and just to see if she could do it, Judo. All were interesting and gave her a pretty good picture of what her body was capable of, and a guesstimate of her physical limitations.
But no. She needed something else, something more… tailored for what she actually needed the training for.
She needed to intern with a hero. The term “sidekick” felt wrong for what she had in mind, since she didn’t want to be that hero’s trainee forever. Or was interested in the current superhero scene at all. They were doing just fine without her.
She just… she felt left out. Danny was amazing but he didn’t need her, not as much as she would have liked. He was a hero, and a pretty good one, but he wasn’t in any place to train her. Not that he wanted to, since he usually avoided her every time she brought it up.
Her baby brother was all grown up and he didn’t need his older sister anymore.
Jazz shook her head. She was being ridiculous. Danny would always need her — she just needed to do her homework and keep up with him on her own. If she just trained enough and could hold her own in ghost fights, she was sure Danny would be grateful and appreciate her support. Who knows, maybe he would be happy that he didn’t need to be wary of ghosts day and night, and actually rest and focus on his neglected studies.
She yawned, lamenting another night that looked to be a bust. Maybe the heroes were busy tonight? Maybe they were on a big mission away? Unlikely that all of them were away, there were usually at least a few of the Bats flying around the city.
Why Gotham, you may ask? Of all the funny-dressed crime fighters on Earth, why these people?
Easy.
They were human.
That piqued Jazz’s interest. She had been between the Arrows and the Bats, but finally chose the Bats because Gotham had one perk over Star City: unlimited supply of ectoplasm. The place was almost as coated in the thing as Amity, which she was grateful for. It saved her from going back and forth to places rich with ghost activity and fishing blobs to eat.
Don’t ask too many questions about the consuming blob ghosts part. It was a necessary evil.
However, it’s been a few months and all she got to show for her efforts was a notepad filled with scribbles she painstakingly copied to her computer and a lot of frustration.
Until one night she caught Red Hood alone as he checked his phone. She waited until he was done texting — she had manners thank you very much — and jumped in front of him before he had the chance to grapple away.
“Hi— oof.”
Thanks the ancients for her reflexes and Judo training, she blocked Hood's punch and following kick. It would probably bruise but it wasn't the end of the world.
“What the fuck?”
“Hi,” she tried again, “I'm Jazz.��
He didn't punch her again, which she took as a good sign. Instead, he took a step back and squared up like he was expecting a fight.
“I’m not looking for a fight,” he scoffed but let her continue speaking, “I’m looking for… I guess you’d call it a mentor? That sounds weird… A personal trainer? No, that’s wrong too. Hm, I wonder if there’s a word for ‘person who is the only one that can teach you very specific information in a field of interest that legally, or otherwise—’.”
Red Hood cleared his throat, making her jump.
“Are you for real?”
“Yeah? I am real.”
Hood looked at her in silence for a few moments. Then, he sighed and rubbed one gloved hand against his helmet.
“Listen, girl.”
“Jazz!”
“Jazz,” somehow she got the impression he grumbled, but the voice modulator did its job really well, “I have things to do, ok? Crimes to stop and stuff. So… yeah. Goodnight.”
He turned around and picked the grapple gun from inside his jacket.
“Wait!”
He jumped and misfired the gun, hitting the wall of the building instead of the roof, like he was supposed to. As the gun recalled the rope, he looked over his shoulder at her. Jazz understood he was glaring at her, she could feel the daggers on her skin.
“Hear me out, ok?” He didn’t move or said anything. “I need— I have tried hiring a trainer, at… back at the gym. You know? But that wasn’t enough. I think I need to train with an actual hero—”
“Listen,” the word was accompanied by the hook of the grapple clicking into place, “whatever it is you are looking for, you definitely are not going to find it with me. So. Scramble.”
He made a shooing gesture with one hand and aimed the gun without looking, shooting it and amazingly enough, hitting the edge of the rooftop. He made a salute as he was launched to the air at high speed.
Jazz didn’t follow, mesmerized by the skill. Hood landed with a flip and without breaking momentum, started running to the next rooftop, jumping impossible lengths. The way he moved was confident, powerful and measured.
She wanted to do that. She needed Red Hood to train her.
---
Back to Main Archive
Back to Danny Phantom Archive
Do you like my stuff? You can support me here!
#dpxdc#jazz/jason#jazz x jason#anger management ship#hardcover ship#dp x dc#personal coach au#<- tag for this fic#when i have a bunch ill polish and post in ao3
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୨୧ Life with Logan and Laura ୨୧
type: tooth-rotting fluff - minor hurt comfort - gn reader
word count: 967
notes: hi hi !! i’ve been super busy with college and my jobs </3 but i was finally able to write this down late at night !! thank you all for the amazing support with all of my other posts, i have officially reached a little over 1000 likes on this blog !! also a reminder that my requests are open !!
Masterlist
it was very late into the night where you and Logan were cooped up in your shared bed. the windows were cracked slightly to let in the autumn air as the leaves around your cabin started to fall.
Logan was behind you in bed, spooning you with his nose snuffed deep into the crook of your neck. he’s a very light sleeper so it was no surprise that he woke up the second he heard the floor squeaking. he lifted his head up slightly and narrowed his eyes at the door, ready to jump into action but when the door opened, Laura was standing there with a blanket tucked into her arms. her bottom lip was poking out slightly as she sniffed and looked at Logan with a sad, tired look. Logan sat up.
“what’s goin on, kid?” you started stirring in your sleep at this point as Laura patted her way over to the end of the bed and started climbing in between you and Logan. you sat up on your elbows and turned to the middle of the bed to see Laura laying face down onto the mattress, suppressing her sniffles. you hummed in pity and started playing with her hair.
“awh baby..” you cooed at her, laying back down again, facing her and pulling her into your chest. Laura started whimpering softly as you quietly shush her, rubbing her back and pushing her head further into you. you looked back up at Logan with a worried look; he returned the same expression as he started petting her head.
it took a little bit for Laura to relax and fall back asleep, still wrapped up in your arms. Logan laid back down behind her and pulled the both of you close to him. you were rubbing her cheek with your thumb; she had a small fist full of your shirt in her hand, her grip loosening as she fell asleep. Logan kissed the top of her head and went back up to kiss your forehead.
Logan waited for you to fall asleep first before he even thought about relaxing. you and Laura were his everything and when he sees either of you hurt, it pulls something in him. he hugged you both closer to him as he finally let himself fall back to sleep, his grip still as firm as ever.
𓍯𓂃𓏧♡
It was your bi-weekly grocery store run. Logan was walking with his hands in his pockets and Laura was next to you with one hand next to yours on the shopping cart.
Logan never left your side, reaching for things you might not be able to reach and adding small commentary on the items you’d put in the cart.
you were in the frozen food section, picking out some breakfast sandwiches and veggies when Laura wondered down further and grabbed a box of waffles from the fridge. she walked back to you and held the box up to you.
“ooo, those look good! thank you Laura!” you smile down at her as she put the box in the cart. you moved some of her hair out of the way to plant a small kiss to her forehead. as you continued walking, Logan trailed behind and ruffled her hair.
after picking out the stuff that’s needed to keep your body strong, you allowed the two mutants to pick out something for themselves while you picked out something for your own interest. Logan came back with a pack of beer and Laura came back with a brown bear plush. clutched to her chest.
not only did you leave with food for the next 2 weeks, you left with 2 happy mutants who clutched their goodies to their chests.
𓍯𓂃𓏧♡
the sun was setting when Laura started running back to the front porch where you were sitting in a rocking chair, working on your chosen hobby. she stopped in front of you and held up some dandelions for you.
“awh, for me?” she nodded. you put what you were doing down and took the flowers from her hand and gave them a sniff. she climbed up into your lap and laid her head against your chest. you hummed and started petting her head as her eyes grew heavy and droopy from running around all afternoon, her small bear plush pressed close to her.
she, thankfully, wasn’t too heavy like Logan is with his skeleton. she was more of a very heavy weighted blanket which grounded you while you watched the leaves in the trees move around with the wind. you two sat there for while, rocking back and forth and listening to the outside world around you. Laura rubber her face agains your chest and started to drift off, you closing your eyes as well.
“now look at this.” Logan teased. he had his ax rested against his shoulder and a thin sheet of sweat covered him. you smiled at him.
“hi Logan” you craned your neck up to give him a small kiss on the lips. he looked down at Laura and ruffled her hair slightly.
“someone’s out cold.” he commented, making you giggle and move a strand of Lauras hair out of her face.
“she was running around, chasing the squirrels and what not. brought me some dandelions.” you smiled down at her and gave her a small kiss on the crown of her head. Logan’s heart swelled; he swooped down to give you one more kiss on the lips and on the forehead. his lips lingered over your forehead.
“i love you both so much. i never thought i would be allowed to have a life this peaceful.. you’re all i got.. n’ i need to keep you both safe.” you smiled back up at him.
“we love you too. you’re doing great.”
#marvel#marvel x reader#logan howlett#logan howlett fluff#logan howlett x reader#wolverine#wolverine x reader#wolverine x you#wolverine fanfiction#logan wolverine#logan x reader#hugh jackman
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I read through all of Elias/Jonah's dialogue (as you do) plus some relistening and mentions of him, so here's a big list of some fun things and behaviors I noted!
I thought he made a lot of eye puns/jokes, but he only does it once in mag161, however he does enjoy making jokes. "Creativity never was their forte." from mag80, "You want my account? My sworn testimony? My statement?" from 82, "If you die, I’m afraid you probably won’t be able to claim your expenses." in 116 and "I only have two eyes, after all." in 120. no one ever laughs at his jokes only he finds them amusing
His last words telling Jon a sarcastic or mocking "good luck" are mirrored earlier as he also tells Basira good luck the last time he sees her, and Martin, as he's getting arrested
He loves gloating. "I forget how new you all are to this." from mag92, "Coffee is not as good for disguising tastes as you might think." in 98, "She’s hoping that even if I see it coming she’ll still be able to overpower me. She’s wrong, of course," in 102, "A masterpiece, isn’t it?" abt his panopticon in 158 and of course his whole monologue in 160
He does his budgeting on tuesdays and his scheduling on wednesdays
He also likes getting lost in work
in mag40 he makes up proper incompetency (said he didnt know how the fire system works, while he later admits he was actively waiting) just that once, but more so he acts like he doesnt get the full picture (doesnt know whats in the tunnels, whats strange about the institute) or acts too late and apologises (not stepping into jon's stalking behaviour). Which makes me think he is quite fine letting people think less of him but unless he has something to hide hes not actively looking to give the impression
in mag92 elias slides the papers for basira across his desk, but you don't hear him take them out before, meaning he prepared and got ready for this before he called the police
in general he's a very preparing man, Lukas steps in when Elias is arrested so has has control over who'd run it. in mag118 he says he prepared something to hurt martin (my speculation is that he likely has some trauma that could hurt you prepared for any person that could cross him, just in case he needs it). When he gets arrested he has something prepared so he doesnt get killed and ofc s1-4 is preparing Jon for his grand ritual
Elias admits the idea for his ritual kinda fell into place after Getrude didnt do anything about the people's church in march 2015. He shot Getrude and appointed Jon shortly after so "when you came to me already marked by the Web, I knew it had to be you." is pure dramatics as Jon was hired 4 years prior
also he got his ritual in 2018 so he managed to acomplish his life's goal in only 3 years, love his grindset 🔥
We never get a number for how many people Elias has killed in his ritual, the real life millbank has held over 1000 people at once, but id imagine his one panopticon held less than a whole complex
its really interesting to me in mag92 that hes SO sure they all know he's talking to them of his own free will. is he just that dead set on being in control or making sure they take no credit for his confession
there is a clock in Elias' office (but it's only heard in mag98)
He has killed people but Elias is very much not a blood thirsty person. Getrude and Peter are both surprised when he results to that. He's very much just ruthless and does not care, if to get his way he has to kill someone. It doesnt seem like he's ever happy to do so, maybe this is a quirk of being eye aligned and getting rid of any type of knowledge is painful (he does for example never want Tim to die at the Unknowing), or he just finds covering those murders up a hassle
for the Unknowing Elias books them all hotel rooms, how thoughtful
something cute to me that Jon was too good at the Eye that Elias couldnt meet him face to face post coma
In mag158 he implies that even Institute employees not in the archives are tied to it, at least enough that they could suffer or die if it burned down
between finding other people just as tools to watch and discard and saying empathy holds you back he was definitely a very very lonely man
He is a very breathy person. He sounds breathy when he talks. He takes deep breaths to ready himself and before he uses his powers. And he often breathes through his nose before speaking or during pauses
He has said Jon's name 62 times, only twice calling him "Jonathan" and called him archivist 25 times (24 in the mag120 statement, 1 in mag138 and 1 in mag161)(he also kinda calls him The Archive in 160)
other fun amount of words: know (65 times), see (42), martin (35), detective (20), eyes (20) and eye (9), afraid (9) and "bullshit" (1)
its still insane to me they added all of those sound effects of Elias' cuffs in prison, thats something fun to appreciate. It also means its canon he gestures quite a bit!
#elias bouchard#jonah magnus#meant to read through ALL MENTIONS of him too but i dont got the time rn#i have to share this.. i shall add if i find/remember more fun things about him
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Robin with a reader that's a journalist
Characters: Robin x gn!reader
warnings: none, just fluff
a/n: It's ya boi, definitelynotarobinsimp, I have returned from my exile of writing for Robin and logged into Tumblr to write… for Robin... I gacha’d for the whole c4 Robin, I’m gonna use the whole c4 Robin!
I could have returned sooner with one or two stupid posts, but with this one we are at 999 posts and I am not wasting number 1000 on a shitpost. /hj
Anyway, hope you enjoy!
Robin
Truth be told, when you told Robin you were a journalist, she couldn’t help but be concerned. A part of her committed to answering your questions for as long as they remained sensical and didn’t pry into her private life, while another worried about what she would do if you turned out to be another obtrusive one that wouldn’t leave her alone no matter what.
However, when you proceeded not to ask her anything afterwards, simply continuing with your conversation as if nothing had happened, Robin couldn’t help but wonder what your deal was. Were you not interested in interviewing her or did you simply want to lure her into a false sense of calm to get things out of her you usually wouldn’t?
And so, the first few times the two of you chatted with each other, Robin remained on her guard, making sure not to say anything she’d regret, only for nothing to happen each and every time and before she knew it, her walls were slowly but surely coming down when talking to you, the two of you growing closer as they did.
As Robin got to know you better, she came to realize that your interest in writing stories about her was as non-existent as it could be. Even if she said something she realized she had meant to keep a secret, there’d be no headline to suit it the following day, you simply responded with a secret of your own. Whether it was to make her feel better or to give her ammunition to assure mutual assured destruction, the songstress didn’t know, and before she knew it, she didn’t care either.
What you found great pleasure in however, was writing news stories about people writing news stories about her. Sometimes she’d find your name under an article writing about creeps taking photos of unsuspecting women while the pictures you took of paparazzis whenever you noticed one following the two of you on an public outing littered the article, other times she’d find it while reading about you being sued for the very same articles.
And yet, no matter how often she tried talking you out of it, you’d do it again.
The moment the two of you saw a bright flash emanate from a nearby bush, you hastily pulled out your camera, aiming it at the source before Robin even had the time to react, quickly trying to talk to you as you snapped your first pictures.
“Oh, I got his face”, you marveled excitedly as you glanced down at your camera, reviewing the photos you took as the songstress’ words failed to reach you.
“Wait, you don’t have to do this”, Robin desperately whispered to you, knowing full well how much trouble you were once again going to get yourself into, causing you to finally respond to her.
“Don’t they bother you?” You asked earnestly, only for her to quickly shake her head, cheeks growing ever so slightly red as she wasn’t used to voicing her less positive thoughts.
“Of course they do, but-” That was enough for you, as you shot her a big smile before once again looking down at the screen of your camera.
“Then I’ll do it. I already have a great headline in mind.”
“You’ll get sued.” She tried one last desperate attempt, only for you to almost look amused, that possibility never having stopped you from doing your thing.
“I have great lawyers.”
#hsr robin#robin hsr#hsr x reader#honkai star rail x reader#honkai star rail#hsr robin x reader#hsr robin x you#hsr robin x y/n
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good morning job seekers here are my thoughts on last night's stage/fright!! others have covered the main plot points and points of interest so this is literally ~1000 words of self-indulgent inane drivel that i wrote in my notes app at 1am (so sorry if there's misremembered lines / typos etc.), you're welcome
(will edit as i remember more stuff)
spoilers for stage/fright 22/03 evening show
le general observations
ok first up let me just say the VIBES for this show were IMPECCABLE. as many of you know this is my third watch and i feel like the energy this time was j u i c y
this time and the last time i went were both saturday evenings which i think can be good? like this audience were super engaged but not overly rowdy... it felt the right level of keen-ness that the company were responding to
all of this to say that it definitely looked to me as if the company but especially R&S were 👏 feeling 👏 themselves 👏
also means that when y'all go and see s/f be keeeeen!! they really respond to (the appropriate amount of) whooping and hollering at the right moments. i mean they literally say in the programme "you can't hear smiles" lol and we all know about reece's experiences with the 'corpses' in the producers lmao
speculation.com, i wonder if the company are feeling this but i'm definitely acutely aware that there's <2 weeks left of the run now 🥺 (where did all the time go???), which i'm trying hard not to think about because (1) sad and (2) what will i base my personality on from 6 april 2025
i’m going to cry SO HARD on the final shows
act 1
R&S got a muuuuch longer applause than i've seen previously when they come out in front of the curtain post-hamlet / a house divided scene to introduce the show. like the applause and wooping went on what felt like a solid minute. they looked happy it was cute!!
paul whitehouse was the hostage and lmaoooo did the guy milk it. the bit where they ask him what he's been in he just kept going listing stuff for aaaages
BUT it looked like R&S were having a great time here. i mean tbh reece spent most of this section with his back to the audience or adjusting his moustache bc he was lol'ing so much
an EXCELLENT fast show reference when paul has to do the spanish accent on the phone and len/eddie comes out with "SCORCHIO" iykyk
covered elsewhere but eddie knows paul from gone fisting / gone girl (and one other that i have neglected to remember)
paul whitehouse cannot play the trumpet. like at all. no sound was produced (len/eddie even says "try turning it on" and mimes switching it on haha)
len/eddie/steve's voice goes so high when he says "it's jUst a sTiCK of ceLerY" and tommy/ray/reece visibly loses it cracking up
🚨 jeremy dyson callout 🚨 as paul is leaving he said something about working with the clever/smart one jeremy dyson haha
also from the BCDR wider bit, tommy's voice crack on "you almost died len" was hearTBREAKING reece nailed it 10/10
act 2
let me open this section with HUGO my one true love this character has grown on me so much and he is honestly such a highlight. he needs his own spin-off tbh
reece was also playing hugo turned up to 11 imo
hugo/reece got a full on applause for his elements song dance number i was so happy!! last couple of times i've seen it's just got some laughs but this time people clapped for ages again to the point they had to wait for people to stop clapping before they could continue. YES BBY YOU'RE AMAZING
hugo did the leg amputation bit SO exaggeratedly this time, from the "this one sir?" to dragging the bone saw along the tray when he takes it from madam cragg
in general the p h y s i c a l i t y of reece in this production is just something else. he does it as eddie and hugo and the fucking bunny hops and exaggerated movement are just so good and make such a difference so thank you rs for the commitment to the bit
between the last time i saw s/f and this time i learned about the concept of sleeve garters (i think thanks to @vagueeyes) and now i noticed them on goudron muahah
i'd picked up from others' watches to watch marcus during the trepanning scene and yes! very worth it!! he mouthes along with the lines very nice detail
every time i've seen the musical number R&S have both looked sooo happy and again tonight. honestly petition for both of them but especially r to be in a fully fledged musical bc he smiles so much in this segment man is in his element
standing ovation 💖💖💖
stage door
right ok so first my GOD i have not seen the line this long so far?? like it literally went from the stage door around the corner onto charing cross rd and almost back to the main entrance of the theatre?? and they still came out and signed everything for everyone that was waiting 😭 true kings i'm still in awe at how they just... don't have to do this at all and yet they still do and they're so patient with everyone
i mean i said nothing of note to them bc i was on cloud 9 (hur hur) but just !!! thank you for coming out
i noticed this last time i went but absolute lols how steve is always the always the one carrying all the gift bags etc. from fans and reece is entirely unencumbered (apart from infamous CAT bag) like yas king go off
i overheard someone asking steve if there was going to be a DVD of the show and he said no 😔 but i wonder, who knows if you can trust these jokers... theres_been_a_twist.mp4
and THEN i had A Thought: imagine the concept - a filmed version of stage/fright with a commentary a la TLoG shows..... please simon evans do it for the fans
omg this is so long and i've said like nothing of note hahahaha ok well thanks for sticking with it
(oh also i'm actually writing this from the afterlife because i touched reece's hand)
#stage/fright#stage fright#stage/fright spoilers#inside no 9#inside number 9#in9#reece shearsmith#steve pemberton
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