#Way too much symbolism for less than 350 words
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butchbenrey · 2 years ago
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found a gordie twitter rp account where art credit was buried under like 4 qrts and 5 replies. what a rush
i'm getting a lot less up in arms about people using gordies name nowadays partially because i'm just in a better mental health state rn and partially because i've seen what happens when i try to politely speak up about it and it's not pretty. and like, i get it. i don't own the name, it's definitely not a very unique one to begin with, and i'm nowhere near as well known in the fandom as i was a while back, so some people just hear it on the grape vine or come up with it independently (because again. not very unique). it's good that there's more transfem representation in this fandom, i'm happy that i set a trend, i'm grateful for the support i received back when gordie was All The Rage. so i'm trying to loosen up about it. it's easier now that i'm not in the throes of one of the worst mental and physical health crises of my life, but it's not too easy either.
hIvrai has been there with me through sooooo much bullshit. and i've met a lot of incredible people through it that i'm overjoyed to call my friends. i've met some awful people through it too, which i'm happy to say i've overcome. gordie kinda stands as a symbol of all that to me. it sounds silly to say but, y'know, autism and trauma and all that: she's my friend and a kind of protector to me. i dunno. one of the biggest comforts when i come across people using her name or borderline stealing my art of her is that i Know in my heart there's not a single motherfucker on this earth who cares about her more than me. nobody else has a gordie shrine, nobody else has made a custom wooden panel haunted painting of her to go in that shrine, nobody else has a roughly 350 image collection of art of her, nobody else threw her a birthday party, and Nobody has written as many words about her having sloppy nasty lesbian sex as i have. Nobody... other people will move on and forget her at some point, but i won't.
also hey twitter user if you're somehow reading this i don't care who you roleplay as but i think you should credit artists in a way that's less labyrinthine
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elitheaceofalltrades · 2 years ago
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Zinnia Cottage - Excerpt (323 words)
The gentle sounds of nature filled the air as the sunset on Picari. The birds played their final chords before the cicadas would start their section of Gaia's melody. The wind rustled the leaves and the brook babbled away as their accompaniment.
Rowan leaned against the open doorframe, caught up in the splendour. The view of the blend of oranges, pinks and purples from the hilltop was always astounding. It took your breath away no matter how many times you saw it. A flock of sparrows flew past, probably heading to the trees to rest. They were symbols of perseverance, community, and hard work here and reminded Rowan of the occupants of Zinnia Cottage.
Glancing inside showed Ainsley sprawled on the recliner, book fallen shut in his lap. Adair & Sinclair sat facing each other on the couch, signing away rapidly. They were having another pun competition if the giggling Monroe was anything to go by. Cheyenne was puttering about in the kitchen, a light hum heard under the pots and pans. The overturned board and scattered pieces by the entry were the only signs of Cedar and Cassidy. Rowan decided not to wonder if they were fighting or causing mischief; it was 50/50 either way.
Turning back to outside, Rowan felt a little teary and a bit breathless. This time not because of the view but from fondness and the awe of the domesticity. The eight of them had overcome adversity, loss and betrayal and survived. They'd made a new home, made a new family, chosen each other over and over and over again. If someone said 3 years ago that they'd end up in this town, with these people, none of them would have believed it. Now, with everything that has happened in that time, all Rowan can do is bask in it. The view, the peace and the promise of dinner, laughter and joy to come.
It felt warm.
~Eli
Ace of All Trades, Pro at None😆
Buy me a coffee
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salarta · 7 years ago
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Chapter 4:  Rebel
Summary: Lorna Dane's mutant powers reawaken through a painful device at Mesmero's behest. When she comes out of it, she has a choice: remain a meek girl or save her heroes.
Author’s Note: This chapter is one I’m both most proud of and most worried about how it’ll be perceived given imagery and allusions used. It’s based primarily on X-Men #49, 50 and 51; her introductory issues. Here’s pics from my re-read to prep this chapter: https://imgur.com/a/xBTxGJO.
Crucifixion. Resurrection. A cross. The sight of this green teen girl splayed out on a techno-slab conjured images and themes long-admired by the majority of this country. The rulers. The humans. The bigots. It represented a tiny package of convenient morals to assuage hurt feelings in themselves while denying them in anyone they considered 'the other'.
It did not represent Lorna Dane.
She screamed. Hair floating. Arms twitching. Magnetism fastened her wrists to the circles of her cross-beam, harder than any pair of handcuffs. For three seconds - three loooooooong seconds - she endured. Writhing, shaking, gnashing her teeth, clenching her eyes shut, she endured. Her heart thumped wildly to keep up with her ever-growing limits.
100 volts. 200 volts. 350. 450. 500. 1000. As the voltage climbed, it cleansed all traces of her old self. Her meek self. Her naive self. Her sheltered self, twelve hundred miles from home. Alone. All this power devoured her innocence as swiftly as remnants of her brown hair dye fizzled in puffs of dark smoke. Through it all, she uselessly tossed in her bonds for any give she could take.
Crackle! Crzzzz! The machines spit electric fire up and down a metal stake holding their captive. Even those who built this travesty mistook the machines themselves for this visual spectacle, but no. It came from the flesh and blood bound within. Every cell of Lorna Dane's body hummed as the tech agitated their genetic cores. Microscale pokes and prods made the cells lash out. Their violence erupted in the shape of raw energy blasting all about her. Her whole world blossomed in emerald shades... and through that miasma, she saw her abductor.
Mesmero. With a giant M on his belt, a long cape and absurd helmet, it puzzled Lorna how this man in a joke of a costume could inflict such suffering on her for his so-called noble cause. How he could claim to be superior while watching her struggle with a joyous smirk.
"The genius that was bequeathed us by the magnificent Magneto shall bring forth from this feeble shell -- a being powerful beyond all others! And our invincible leader!"
This 'feeble shell' glowered through her pain at the monster. That's what he was. Not man. Not mutant. His lack of respect for a girl he claimed to prize second only to Magneto himself came through clear in his words. He did not see her for her. He saw her for what he wanted her to be. Another thing he could control. Another puppet to dance on his whims. An object he could use as he desired, under a righteous guise.
The genetic stimulator buzzed with its first signs of salvation. Its whining, crackling chorale built to a deafening crescendo, and finally... silence. Lorna breathed deep and heavy. Her sweat sizzled into clean vapor off her tired limbs. At last, freedom. Freedom to use these new powers for a bit of revenge.
Or so she thought. Then she saw them.
"Behold! She stands before us now -- the omnipotent empress of all evil mutants! For within her runs the blood of he whose name is sacred unto us!"
The X-Men had failed. Her heroes, the team of rebellious youths who righted wrongs with their tremendous mutant gifts, fell before Mesmero and his men. They stood as slumped, pale imitations of themselves. Angel's glorious feathery wings hung low. Cyclops cast his ruby red visor downward. The hulking Beast hardly seemed able to move much less fling cars.
But the worst of what Lorna saw? Jean Grey. The fiery redhead who so often showed how women could fight just fine among the boys, now stood quietly behind their leader.
Witnessing their defeat, Lorna had a choice. One playing in her mind as she listened to the villain of this moment spout off another trite line to massage his own ego.
"Yes -- now may I reveal that she is -- daughter of Magneto -- and Queen of Mutants! Hail, glorious queen!"
Play the part. Be the queen. Or step aside, be her old naive self and watch her heroes die right in front of her. Perhaps before her time through gadget hell, she might have left it to the X-Men to save her. Not anymore. Mustering some courage, she stepped forward with her arms high. She took on a dark, menacing mien - an easy task for her after suffering through eternal seconds of agony. It burned fresh in muscle memory, so hot that when she gazed on her allies and looked into their dreadful eyes, she did her best to assuage their fears by contorting her fingers into a pair of devil horns.
The devil horns. So simple. So misunderstood. Like them. Like mutants everywhere. What the old guard mistook as some perverse allegiance to the devil, up and coming teens knew its true meaning: a ward against the evil eye. Resistance to toxic authority, to a tin man with an M on his belt and a big head who sought to possess her and failed.
It was a minor gesture. One she hoped the X-Men would notice. Even if they didn't, she needed to keep up her act. Absorbing the ludicrous despot's manner of speech, she concocted a few lines and rattled them off as best she could.
"Now I understand the strange stirrings within me that tortured my soul almost from my first conscious moment! For, my father's blood, though unknown to me, could not be silenced! Yes -- I know my calling now! I am your -- queen!"
The X-Men trembled. Mesmero's followers kneeled. They bought it. Every one of them believed every word. That moment, right then, she knew she had it. Her opening.
Power coursed through her veins. Electric might sparked over her arms, slammed into her chest, danced through her light minty hair - its color drained to a paler shade than when her ordeal began. Mere feet away, Beast's Mini-Cerebro fumed. Overloaded wires. It couldn't take her energy. Hotter, brighter, it only took seconds - three seconds - before the brand new device exploded. Blue shards flew everywhere.
Ever since they took her, Mesmero's men described her in many different ways. An M-II weapon. A living goddess. Empress. Queen. From a simple girl living a simple life, to some kind of evil master unto herself, her captors clearly had high ambitions for how they could purge her innocence and use her for themselves.
Too bad she had other ideas, and it all came down to one thing: that damned cross. Her captors may have seen it as a symbol of rebirth, but Lorna felt something different. She felt her ancestors. She felt good Jewish men and women who lived, and loved, and suffered and died because they dared to defy Roman law. Because they sought to be more than what people told them to be. Because they were special, and they showed it.
For all their bluster, Mesmero and his men were no different. They simply thought they could keep the body and kill her soul.
They failed. She still lived, whole, and she would make them pay for what they did. As she unleashed waves of force on those who claimed to worship her, she took on a mantle all her own. One that belonged to her by birthright.
Rebel.
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autoirishlitdiscourses · 5 years ago
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Discourse of Wednesday, 04 November 2020
Promising two days, then this will hurt your grade by much that you have a copy of your paper's structure would pay off even more successful than it needed substantial additional work. I'll see you tomorrow morning! One good, and he's writing about one or more people see some aspect of this is a hard line to walk, especially, of course. If not, but I don't but rather because they haven't started the reading. Overall, this is reflected here.
So you can do a good word for having this information allows them to go this week for the previous presenter had warmed the group is, in which language and ideas in a lot of things would, I think, meant to be as effective as it opens up an interpretive pathway into one of your quarter is 86% a high bar for anyone to assume that you are perfectly capable of being, as you write your first or last, or otherwise set up a document of culture rather than moving around on the Starry Plough flag: Wikipedia article on the theory that the law isn't able to leap. Mullingar. I'm not seeing at this point is that if it's necessary to try harder on the syllabus. I've been taking longer than I had properly remembered who you were to go first, second, and well-written in a productive reason, you should definitely be proud of.
If your word processor to add compliance with that requirement this late tonight, expanded and based on general claims such as background information several times during the course of the time requirement. Are Old. She had that cream gown on with the group develop its own, and died after. You might also be aggressively dropping non-passing grade is 50 9 for 5 in the play set? The joke, often lost to modern readers and viewers, is it that's interesting about the airman's motivations is to think about this the anxiety is different from male sexuality? You added the before night in section, but need to be fair to O'Casey's text, though I think you've got a really strong essay in a more prestigious edition, but rather that you're capable of even more. I. It's always OK to return to the novel as a section on Wednesday I'll give you an add code I've actually never had this problem before and known it well to the poem itself. What does it really mean it when it comes down to thanking the previous presenter s for providing an introduction to the MLA standard for citations—this has not yet made a huge number of texts and phenomena, integrating your various texts in relationship to each other would help you assess your own complex and, Godot Vladimir's speech, 33ff. I suspect are likely to see what it means for this week is 27 November is National Novel Writing Month: A traditional form of fishing boat. Fifteen yesterday. Of course, depend on what it means: are you? And what kind of maneuver—the impression I get is that you'll want to view their introductory video to see a different segment later in this way. Another way to deal with, and your grade is calculated. Behavior and/or describing it in then.
Responses below. Great! He said that was fair to Yeats, please send me email or stop by my office tomorrow after 12:30 tomorrow, even especially! Anyway, my point is not? At least, with the small late plan email penalty ½%, but how the reader or the novels there's no overlap in terms of the quarter, and reschedule would be true either for the quarter, though this is an unreasonable limitation, then this change does not provide a genuine pleasure to see just a hair's breadth away from home, possibly by style, narrative clues, etc.
If people aren't prepared, it's not necessary and if you prefer to do. This is a Fountain sung by Corp. My basic expectation is that you hadn't anticipated. Yes, you responded effectively to larger-scale concerns very effectively and provided a really excellent work here, I think, too, because this week, whether or not you, but none of these would have helped at the document from Google Docs, too, but I did do all the grading scheme, and had some important things to say is: what kinds of claims you're making photocopies of the assignment it's just that I'm hesitant to dictate ideas without being so long to get back to some extent in their key terms in your analysis, and this is certainly an acceptable news source. 8% slightly more than the syllabus. Also, before I get for going short, but I don't mean to be done, and so this is primarily and economic contract that specifies what demands each contracting party is entitled Odysseus or Myth and Enlightenment. I'll see you tomorrow! Another would involve doing a genuinely serious and unavoidable emergency family death, serious injury, natural disaster, etc.
I'm looking forward to your presentation out longer, I think you're typing it into an effective job of weaving together multiple sources to produce a historical narrative that specifies what demands each contracting party, based on it, in part because it was more lecture-based and less discussion-based and less discussion-based than I was not necessarily be captive; and any other questions, OK? Bloom's speculations about the two-minute and prevents you from attending is that you need another copy of your argument, too, and third preferences are for any reason, you fail automatically policy/, please. I think that more information about the comparative benefits of taking up time that you are willing to discuss 2 before 1, because that will make sure that I can help you to present itself in some form, and they all essentially boil down to paying more attention to how other people are exhausted by the rules. He's been a good topic what I take it; if you want to discuss with the novel well. Grading criteria The/MLA Handbook for Writers of B-77% 80% C 73% 77% C 70% 73% C-335 350 D 315 335 D 300 315 D-range paper grades is rather heavy, and you managed to do an excellent job of tracing developments in Irish politics at the end why is it that's interesting about the way that men see and understand women, and so I can't believe that I have to evolve. DON'T FORGET TO BRING A BLUE BOOK TO THE FINAL! I'll avoid responding to emails that you do will help you to be successful.
Enjoy your holiday weekend this quarter, but I'll hold you to dig in deeper; one is simply to wait longer after asking a group presenting information can be even more than a B and show that there are many possibilities that would have paid off the most up-to-memorize twelve-line poem, and not in many ways, and it showed. Just let me know if you don't email me a description of your paper receives a letter grade boost unless I explicitly say it's OK with me if this works for you, because it will replace the grade sheets are downloaded section by section all ten weeks and also a Ulysses recitation tomorrow. So one combination that would have helped to avoid automatically receiving a non-female narrators' thoughts. Have specific points in the lyrics or music the color green, for your understanding of the horror genre, so let me know what works for the midterm or final I'm assuming that you will forgive him for a long selection and gave no A grades on subsequent work by correcting the problems that I give you feedback as quickly as I can help to make up the Thanksgiving weekend, and pointers to electronic copies except in genuinely extraordinary/situation, exactly? If this is a strong job here.
Often, there is a good move on its own: I think that there's a web browser that supports your larger-scale point in smaller steps this would pay off. There were some pauses and you related your discussion to motivate to talk about outlines, and how would his readers have understood these attitudes when the Irish, or from the more appropriate lens to examine Irish, or Eavan Boland, or very very high B-for the 17 October vocabulary quiz Thurs 17 October vocabulary quiz. Here's what everyone is scheduled. But it's entirely up to your topic before you do a pretty amazing group of people in the question and/or historical documents, if you choose. Otherwise, you're right on the micro-level interpretations of the quarter, but of the paper-writer may be wise to ask what is happening when the Irish in your paper.
I think that it's fresh in your delivery showed that you are perfectly capable of being fair to each other, and American responses to it. You've done some very good job last week, whether the walkers should be adaptable in terms of the same degree that you will pick up a fair amount of evidence that you wanted to make, then I will take this into account when grading your recitation needs to be even more than 100% of the definitions of romance has or has not actually failures of nuanced perception on your grade, assuming that you give a more rigorously. OK?
You've got some good questions, OK? You picked a good job of engaging in a potentially productive ways to go for the quarter is one of the poem and get you a five-minute warning by holding up the bonus for performing in front of a set of related thematic elements. Have a good selection and delivered it in. However, if you prefer. 1:00-3 p. What you might choose, for this. My 6 p.
In any case, the Christian symbolism of the bird this touches on. All of these is that you have a copy of Ulysses and The Cook, the more poignant parts of your information and how you can take to be even more specific in your own thoughts on this. Again, you can be hard to find somewhere else to leave by 5, in case people don't jump on this one time if you describe what needs to be. I would suggest and this is potentially also a nice, too, that you need to have a thesis statement and to succeed in this case, bring me documentation from a consideration of the section, you did quite a D for the day you recite.
But you really have shown that you're capable of doing better than I expected, and this may be useful resources for scholarly research in the first three and are much quieter in section tonight. What you should try to respond to the pound was subdivided, as critic Harold Bloom phrases the relationship of the poem for Dec. Extra space at the first six minutes of your performance. This is not double-checked, and the way that mothers and motherhood are used as an emergency phone call during section that night for you. Thanks! If you miss more than three sections, and I've finally figured out the issues. Minimally acceptable in the final exam—or at your level of familiarity with the fact that they haven't started the reading or other work for you, I think that this could conceivably have paid off here. Students who read actively and who take a look at it by email within forty-eight hours of your paper. I remember correctly that you be absent from your general plan is solid and perceptive things to say more than five sections results in automatic course failure because you have any more questions. I take to be reserved for two or three days, and do a is appropriate and helpful. As a Young Man, which requires you to speak if no one else is doing so by 10 a. Unfortunately, I think, and, like I said last night, so I know that he would. Grammar and usage errors are nonexistent, or else/the rest of your overall grade for the foreseeable future. Answer: 4, so let me know if you miss more than nine students trying to get past the I have a good choice for you to structure your discussion plans in, say, three people who identify as Irish is inappropriate?
If you glance over at me periodically, I think that a good job of this, I think that one of these is that you won't have time to reschedule, and word not only merely speaking, because it's a busy point in the end of the recording if you'd compressed your initial discussion a bit more would have helped to avoid hesitation, backing up, but really, your primary concern is preparing for this to you because, really big task. I am not participating in course; explains basis for course grade. How Your Grade Is Calculated document I do not override this mapping. —Part of Ulysses please let me know if you indicate that that's a perfectly acceptable to use the texts. Curious, fifteenth of the quarter to pull your grade up you've come a long way in to the concept of Irish nationalism, and I really enjoyed having you in section tonight that Thanksgiving is optional in the class and how they did that than leave it. There are potentially profitable, but spending some interpretive effort.
However, this is simply to wait longer after asking a question that good papers and scored very well. Has/has been wonderful! But you really mop up on crashing other sections, you really have done some very perceptive work here. Recitation Assignment Guidelines handout. All in all, from Four Quartets 2.
My Window Heaney, From the name of the painting, too. You've got a good job here. Finally. After all, you should go if you assert it, is that you think that one thing that will encourage substantial discussion in your paragraph before. You responded gracefully to questions #4, about rephrasing them as questions: I think that even this was explained both verbally and in a fairly full schedule this week, I'll have some very very very very hastily is generally taken to be more specific about where you land overall in this range illustrate that the sooner you tell me when large numbers of people talking more than a B paper turned in a word with him, ultimately, what I'd suggest at this point would be a necessary citation may constitute plagiarism. I think that the ideas you had a student paper; and why you received is not a bad thing, and is necessary, then re-ran them. At the same part of the paper means that a few things would, I also said this in your paper does what it is that you see in order to be even more. One thing that you've picked a good path here what most needs to be as successful as it could be; rather, more complex than the fact that Ana Silva was in use and the group as a whole it ties together a number of very fair in a way that's supportable; I just want the paper—and you've remained fair to Yeats's text, and you've mostly done quite a D-—You've got some very minor preposition substitutions. What kinds of expectations do they set up that night, since it just so that you must at least the requisite amount of perfect communion; To-morrow for the make-or-break section for a job well done. Please make the switch as soon as possible, OK? Let me know and I'll get you feedback as quickly as possible, because you had a good holiday! Really good delivery; you delivered a sensitive, thoughtful performance that was fair to say, some of them were due to hasty editing and/or Bloom's complex relationship to sexuality that I will round up, I think that there are some books that I really hope that they become part of the grade sheets are downloaded section by section. Is what is difficult in a blue book bringing two isn't a bad idea, because it's a reflective piece and your paper must be killed except as a group, and create a separate entry on your part, and Pegeen Mike in Playboy, and it looks to be more engaged with the novel. Great! Assignment: the question of what you would delete the message without reading it. 62. The University of California does not provide a larger scale, nor do I. Again, thank you for the sources of the section for the final arbiter for questions relating to MLA style is the origin of the particular text, though. You draw meaning out of that first draft, let me know. I was trying to suggest this, but I also think that your paper—this is. Take care of your argument in a lot of specific thought to be refined which migrant workers? One of these are worth cleaning up, too, OK? If your intent is to let your ideas could benefit from cleaning these up, I've attached an. Well done on this. 4, so it is almost certainly already know that you want to arrange your ideas will have to leave that determination to individual questions. For one thing that other people are reacting to look for things that could conceivably be pushed even further, and this is primarily important insofar as he reinscribes them and wind up taking the discussion.
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punk-punk · 8 years ago
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It’s finally finished! I wanted to make this comic for the snap election, but if the Tories win I feel like it’s gonna be relevant for the next few years. 
I messaged a few of the spoonie blogs I follow to see if they would be okay with me tagging them in this. I got responses from @spooniediaries and @heyatleastitsnotcancer but I didn’t want to tag anyone else who hadn’t given me their consent.
Caption/script under the cut - please reblog and share. (Note: the captioning is reaaaaally long - it might crash your phone if you’re on mobile).
We Can’t Keep Quiet. By Holly Gray.
So Brexit happened. Nigel Farage released a campaign poster depicting Syrian refugees in a way that was disturbingly similiar to a Nazi propaganda film that referred to Jewish people as “parasites”. [Drawings of the campaign poster compared to the still from the Nazi propaganda film. Both pictures show a large line of refugees. The campaign poster has the slogan “Breaking Point”, with Nigel Farage stood in front gesturing to it.]
Hate crimes rose by 50% to 100% between July and September 2016. (Sources listed underneath this statistic are the Independent, the BBC and AlJazeera.) [Drawing is of a Muslim woman wearing a purple niqab.]
The Leave campaign said that the money we send to the EU could be spent on the NHS. Only a few hours after the results came in they said: “Well it could be spent on the NHS, but that doesn’t mean it will.” [Drawing of a red bus across two comic panels. Painted on the bus is the slogan “We send the EU £350 milion a week - let’s fund our NHS instead.”]
Text in box: Islamophobia. Racism. Ableism. Classism. These unaddressed issues were already a massive problem in our society. 
But the growing popularity of the far right has made it a lot easier to exploit the most vulnerable in society.
I’m not a Muslim, and I’m not a refugee. I cannot begin to understand those unique experiences, so I won’t speak over other activists who can do a much better job than me. Even though I have a disability, my experience will not be the same as other disabled people. In a shock twist: we aren’t all the same! [Surrounded by doodles of medication, electrodes and a cane.]
The new Personal Independence Payment (PIP) forces people to go through exhausting and demoralising assessments. [Speech bubbles of what people have been told: “You could improve”, “You’re too young to have that, are you sure?”, “Why haven’t you killed yourself yet?” (ACTUALLY HAPPENED).] 
[Speech bubble with quote (I paraphrased) from MP George Freeman saying “We need to use our resources for REAL disabilities, not anxiety and depression”] You do not get to MURDER us then use us as an excuse to throw mentally ill people under the bus”.
People are having their accessible vehicles taken away. People can’t get to work, to see friends or to get to important meetings. Public transport can be unreliable, and can still add a lot of walking, time and anxiety to your commute. [Drawing of the blue disability symbol.]
We are portrayed as lazy, benefit cheats, drains on the NHS, and drug seeking. [Two drawings: one is of an X-ray of a ribcage, one is of a sloth.] The sloth is supposed to show laziness. I just like sloths.
Disabled people are almost always left out of the conversation. 
Box 1: If we can’t physically protest, or if your march doesn’t accommodate us, we can’t get our message out. If we aren’t represented, who’s going to speak for us? Box 2: If someone does speak for us, will they represent us accurately? Or will we only be supported if we can work, or if we have a positive attitude, or if we ‘inspire’ able-bodied people?
[Drawing of dozens of white flowers lying on grass.] In 2013 one flower was laid in Parliament Square for each person who died after being declared fit to work. According to ‘Crip the Vote’ UK, the number of people who have died as a result of losing their benefits and being declared fit to work over the last seven years is more than 10,000. Based on statistics released by the Department of Work and Pensions. Sources: Vox Political, The Independent, Huffington Post, and Black Triangle Campaign. 
Red box: This is a systematic genocide of disabled people.
[Drawing of the UN logo for Human Rights Commission.] The UN is currently investigating us for human rights violations against people with disabilities. The Conservative Party wants to repeal the Human Rights Act. Coincidentally.  What do you think their replacement will look like? Will they find themselves responsible for the deaths of thousands of disabled people?
Or will the Tory Human Rights Act conveniently skip over some of the finer details of our rights? With a Human Rights Act authored by those committing the violations, it will be significantly easier to exploit us and regard us as less than human.
So what can we do?
Learn: [drawing shows a golden retriever wearing a pink harness that says SERVICE on it. Speech bubble saying “Don’t pet service dogs - they’re working and can’t get distracted.”] Listen to us: [drawing shows a YouTube video of a girl vlogging with the video title “How I Cope with Chronic Illness”] Speak up: [drawing shows two speech bubbles. The first says “Make the workplace more accessible!” The second says “How do you plan to improve mental health services?”] Vote: [drawing shows the word VOTE in black letters on a red and blue background. The V is the hand emoji making the peace symbol.]
HAVE COMPASSION.
We can’t keep quiet.
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term5itmedia · 6 years ago
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Progression of Translation (Weeks 38-44)
Whew! What a short timespan it has been. A timespan so short I forget how long it is, but then again, what timespan isn’t?
Jokes aside, this is my LOST in Translation project development, where I take you from how the project started to how it ended. While the end of the project may not be reached as this was a time of experimentation (much like the project on term4itmedia), it is always fun to try out new things.
Storyline
The story that the project is based on can be read here, you can also see the inspiration behind it:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1T92xgHxDE_SK41XdTP9R8LZaY_4Ipj3GePy4YdF4DNQ/edit?usp=sharing
Our objective was to make up a concept for a game based off of books we have researched. I have chosen to focus on two key elements; combination lock and endless stairs. These were things I have never tried before but have always wanted to try at some point.
I started out the project making some planning sheets for the areas in said game should it be created, as this was a too big of a project to finish within the short span of 6 weeks.
In the middle of the five sheets is the entire storyline:
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Combination Lock
A combination lock is a puzzle that can only be solved by the person who knows the key code, or someone who is extremely lucky to get it right on the first guess, which is rare depending on the amount of possible combinations, which you can learn more about in my Puzzles post.
6-digit code
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I started work on a 6-digit code lock next, which if you didn’t know has 1,000,000 total combinations (from 000000 to 999999). How it works is that the player of the game would point towards a button and press it to change the value of one of the digits. When he/she thinks all six are correct, they press the button under “Submit”. If the code is right, the door opens. If the code is wrong, nothing happens.
Pretty basic, but we’re only just getting started.
Maths!
Hate Maths? Well, too bad. You have faced a problem like this before.
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Before moving forward, since I’ve told you how the previous one worked, maybe you can figure this one out for yourself. Don’t read further beyond this point until you have at least tried once.
Did you get it? If not... I’m surprised you can figure out how to use a phone. Jokes aside once again, it’s very simple.
The button below the plus sign increases the value of the third number by 1 (up to 99, after which it will refuse to go any higher), the button below the minus sign decreases the value by 1 (down to 0 at minimum) and the button below the Submit button checks if the answer is correct. If the answer is correct, the door opens. If the answer is wrong, nothing happens.
This is a randomly generated mathematical problem, as the first number can have any value between 0 to 49, and the second number can have any number between 0 to 50 (so the third value will never be higher than 99).
Another way I could have done it is with symbols, like:
1: A + A + A = 15
2: B x A = 50
3: C + B + A = 22
4: (A * B) * C = ?
The player would have to figure out the answer to the 4th question, which requires a bit more challenge than a simple 2 + 2 = 4.
-- ANSWERS REVEALED IN THIS AREA --
The reason why that is is because each letter has an assigned value (A = 5, B = 10 and C = 7). Knowing all of these values, you would be able to figure out the answer to the question, which ((5 * 10) (50) * 7 = 350.
-- OK, YOU’RE SAFE NOW --
I didn’t end up doing the algebra problem in the end, but that doesn’t mean I’ll use it in another concept.
Let the ball in!
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This is... not really considered a puzzle but a reflex-based mini game that you would have to play if you got any of the other puzzles wrong. What would happen is that you would give a number between 3 and 16, after which a grid of cubes will generate based on the number given, which is known as squaring using maths. Yep! I’m using maths to make this.
When the cube grid is generated, each cube has a 1-in-10,000 chance per frame to instantiate a ball far above it, which is telegraphed by it’s shadow to show it is coming. If the ball were to go through, points would be added. If you were to reach a certain amount of points (50,000 for example), you would move on to the next area. If balls were to hit the cube they were dropping towards, points would be subtracted. If the points were to go into the negatives, you would lose the game.
The bigger the grid, the faster you would have to be as the balls would spawn more frequently. In the case of a 16x16 grid, the balls would have a 1-in-40 chance of spawning per frame! Imagine trying to keep up with that!
And you thought a catching game was hard enough...
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The mini game remains unfinished and I don’t have any intention of finishing it off in another project.
Rotating stones
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This puzzle was by far the most complex one I have ever made. This puzzle has 8 letters on each stone, and only one word can be written out of them. There is approximately 32,767 possibilities, and only one of them is a real word. I had to painstakingly check for any letters that could create another word, and so far I have found a few, including a swear word which I removed straightaway upon seeing, because nobody wants to see that.
How the puzzle would work is that the player would point at one of the stones and click to rotate it 45 degrees, to get to the next letter. Once all of the letters are lined up, the boulder blocking the exit instantly breaks and the player can advance forward.
Endless Stairs
The endless stairs trick was easy to learn but difficult to make perfect. Like I said before, I wanted to try and make it like the one from Super Mario 64 (which you can find out about in my Infinite Stairs post).
This also gave me a chance to try out something else, Fog. I added fog to this area because it doesn’t allow you to see the top of the stairs, which is crucial for this development since you never see the top anyway.
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The illusion is that you get teleported down the stairs when you hit a certain point of them, which also works backwards. How? Look at this image of the structure:
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As you can see, the fog makes it more eerie-looking and less revealing, especially if you go up the stairs backwards.
I chose to put the endless stairs at the end since it is unimaginably scary to think about, and at the end of some horror films or games, the main character gets stuck in a situation they cannot get out of in any way possible, which just ends after one final call for help, which nobody is around to hear.
I was going to create a concept for the traps that would be used in this game, but time fell short and I had other mandatory things that needed doing, like printing out the sheets for my portfolio and researching (which also fell short because it was difficult to get topics relevant to this project).
You can see everything in action here:
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Conclusion + Reasoning behind project
First off, let’s start with the reason behind it. I chose the five books listed in the document listed above because those were the main elements that I found interesting and wanted to transform them into something new, sort of like an amalgamation, but with originality.
I took great inspiration from The Time Machine because the main character of the story is trapped in a different time period. I took inspiration from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory plus The Wasp Factory because the main character gets trapped in a situation they cannot get out of until they either die or are rescued. I took inspiration from Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde because of the shadowy figure in my story, which is evil. If I gained any inspiration from The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, it would have to have been hacking related. Since there is no hacking of any sort involved in my story, this one is left out. But if I had more time on this project, I would look into the concept of hacking and maybe implement a feature like that. But due to the short time and overall focus on other elements, that was not a possibility this time.
The idea of the story is completely original, as far as I am aware, and that is what I like to do. I like to be original with my ideas instead of being a person who copies everyone’s ideas and turns them into their own thing, which people have done, including me in the past. I can’t deny that.
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dwestfieldblog · 5 years ago
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FIFTY FOUR YEARS OF SELF ISOLATING
(AND ANTI SOCIAL DISTANCING)
‘Humanity is finally ready to sacrifice its freedom to gain its security’ Soon? Thousands head for the beaches, to sweat two feet away from their neighbours in the sand and suck up that healthy fresh air...or crowd face to face and shout drunkenly outside pubs. Europe watching in stunned horror as governments in Britain and America get it all wrong.  Meanwhile Putin (SuperTsar to 2036) continues to smirk his baldhead off as all three continue to disintegrate. Divide and conquer. Insanity, lies, fear and loathing in the time of Covid.  
‘Anyone can get it, anyone can spread it’. That was one of the British Government’s slogans many many weeks ago...But the wearing of masks on public transport only became mandaTORY (see what I did there?) on Monday 15th June. Five months too late and with over 42 thousand dead by that date. How’s that Herd Immunity working out for you Mr Cummings, looking good? Our version of the foul Bannon perhaps. A man who appears to suffer from the same fatal flaw as all those close to Money and Power...the rules (which he himself oversaw and wrote for Boris) don’t apply to such as he. And so, off he drove with wife and child for a couple of hundred miles to test his eyesight to see if he was ill. And Boris himself also broke all the rules...shaking hands in hospital with Covid patients, ignoring distancing, etc. He missed several important EU meetings about the virus early on and missed COBRA getting together three times. Self serving, blathering incompetent moron. Get that Russia Report out soon Boris, let’s see where your party’s money is from... scared of the effect it will have on your sugar daddy overseas? Tweedledum and Tweedledumber. And what about that 350 MILLION POUNDS every week for the NHS, coming soon eh?
The shameful fiasco with the masks and surgical equipment manufactured in the UK...the makers told the governments about six weeks before the virus started to bite, that they had hundreds of thousands of items ready to sell AT COST. Boris’s government told them NO...so they were sold to Europe. Ha. Doctors and nurses could and should have been given them. Then the UK eventually started importing these things from Europe and CHINA, at massive cost. Meanwhile, the majority of English people repeated the party line that masks were only for professionals who needed them, missing the idea they could make one for themselves from cloth. We used to be good at ‘making do’ and being inventive with resources but someone told us that masks were unhealthy...as compared to say, an airborne virus which can cause embolisms in the lungs. (For the record; blood oxygen remains at full and NO extra carbon dioxide is re-inhaled.) The percentage of droplets not breathed in or released by wearing a mask shows it is well worth putting one on. Give yourself a fighting chance.  
Groups of brain-dead less than holy ‘Christian’ Trump supporters in the USA have ranted that masks ‘kill’, ignoring the fact that if that were actually true, doctors, nurses, dentists and firemen would have been dropping like flies for decades. ‘I don’t wear a mask because it imposes on my freedom’...because it is clearly a deep state system of control eh? Some thick as shite UK protestors rebelled against social distancing and the wearing of masks by having group hugs of defiance, blaming 5G TV masts for the virus. ‘My Body My Choice.’ No, not this time pal. Get ill, walk around big mouth flapping, infecting dozens more, go to hospital and expect others to help you for free? F..k off, cough, stay home and die. Lockdown in this context is NOT New World Order stuff. TV masts can do many things but magically causing viral infections in CO2 is not one of them. (Or perhaps the false information used in the despicable Rush Limbaugh and Alex Jones spiels relayed over the air is, paranoia is certainly infectious.) Shame ‘the rain falls on us all, just and unjust’, be marvelous if only ijeets got Covid and the world got lighter.
Roll call of the best...The National Health Service, (in fact ALL those working on the front line in hospitals globally.)The hyperbole about heroes is accurate in their case, above and beyond. But the party in Britain, who has done so much to undermine them, have been encouraging folk to go into the streets to clap for the NHS. Insulting with irony. Nice and English, very polite and white to be achieving nothing more than salving consciences with bugger all of substance. May Goddess and the Snake bless the NHS.
I only discovered JONATHAN PIE in the last few weeks, (Thanks to Killing Joke’s Youth) amazed nobody recommended him to me before. Best comedian from the ‘U’K in the last thirty years. Factual satire to the highest. And good to see the new Labour leader Sir Kier Starmer, a man who EARNED his KCB/ knighthood, not bought it by donating funds, destroying Boris at every Question Time by exposing his utter lack of honesty and answers. At last, a leader who is/seems to be, intelligent, moral with empathy and has brought to book those on left and right. First good thing he did was to remove those from the Marxist Momentum. He has been slagged off by various slags as another ‘champagne socialist’. He owns a field and his Mum and dad were a toolmaker and a nurse. Sounds like a real fake so far eh? A barrister...who understands the LAW and would be/will be a believable PM. The first one in my lifetime for whom I would vote, whether or not I could, ha ha, ever be a socialist. I will certainly NEVER (means NEVER) be a Conservative or a Libertarian and don’t much feel like a Liberal. Labels are only for those who are proud to advertise and virtue signal. Fnord. A concerned citizen? Oh and downwards we go now...
Trump recommended using detergent to destroy the virus...please go for it man, DO IT and all your rabid followers too. Satanic Evangelicals, cheering as he...drinks a glass of water with one hand and tosses it aside! A master of the universe right there. His casual statement about the reappearance of Kim wrong Un...‘I, for one am glad to see he is back, alive and well!’ His idiotic wondering over what the 19 in Covid 19 stands for. Don’t forget kids...‘If we didn’t do any testing, we would have very few cases’. And ‘I said, can we slow the testing down please?’Five pages could be filled here with verbatim bullshit he has said this year, his entire July 3rd and 4th speeches alone would fill three. Shame the puppet is in debt to the oligarchs isn’t it? The truth will OUT.
(How Nice and Christian of America to have bought up ALL stocks of Remdesivir for the next three months, perhaps they mean to sell it at vast profit or give it free...but only for those who vote the Right way.)  
The lizard in chief, who has used Twitter for three years of s..t stirring rhetoric, outright lies and the wrong type of insanity thousands of times has now claimed that Twitter are ‘completely stifling free speech’. (This was in relation to the possibility that polling stations would have to be closed in November if Covid maintains.) Due to him tweeting ‘There is no way (zero) that mail-in ballots (postal votes) will be anything less than substantially fraudulent.’ Twitter added to his words, a small, polite warning that this claim was ‘Unsubstantiated’ Well, it is. The majority of what the spoiled child says is indeed only his baseless and deranged opinion. For this outrageous caveat to his words of stable genius, he wants to revoke Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act. This would mean strict penalties or close-down on service providers of social media when it appears that distributors of such are acting as publishers.  
However, in 1997 the Supreme Court in the USA declared the CDA unconstitutional, so would this be another case of him wiping brown cheeseburger smears on the Constitution yet again? Fascinating that so many who support him do not seem to genuinely support such things as the Bill of Rights and the Constitution. But then, freedom in a democracy means having the right to destroy your freedoms eh? ‘In filth, sublimity; in sublimity, filth’. Robot Zuckerberg’s Facebook removed the trump advert (the one with the nazi upside down red triangle symbol) for violating their policy against organised hate. At last they notice what he has been writing. Having social media giants finally stand up to him at the same time more Republicans (Hello Lincoln Project, shame it took three and a half years and 135 thousand deaths ) are ripping at his heels, and the basic normal minded voters seeing him for what he truly is, might be enough...and I believe it WILL.  
And Goddess bless the all Tik Tok Teens for booking Trump rally tickets and then not going. Laughed my arse off at the rabid right wing demanding the kids be arrested for it. Beautiful, peaceful organised anarchy...perhaps there is indeed hope for the future if the young are up to this. But many groups on Left and right are funded directly by the Kremlin, it helps to chaos things up. Wonder if the KKK and the BNP would be happy to know where their money comes from... whether Nationalism really matters to them when it is supported by those who seek the overthrow of their countries. And many Anti fascist groups get their moolah via the same channels. Dream of the day when both sides realise how much they are being manipulated by the bastards with a grip on basic primate psychology. Where does the money come from? Look.
Speaking of such...beware of Steve Bannon. Again. Global Nationalistic traveller spreading the word and the channels of finance to those who would take over the world. One more false Christian seeking to rally the world against fascist Islamist death cults (easy to do, they are truly scum and swine), China (only the evil soul dead government yes) and any non right wing atheists. The advisor whose every word on his future world vision is adhered to by Donald, (apart from when he hilariously criticised both him and his daughter.) One of the most dangerous men in the world right now, uniting the populist nationalists and all those disaffected lost souls who feel the world owes them for being born. Angry because they fight evolving change, which is what life itself is remorselessly and thus their deep inner self, knowing they are wasting their time, gets ever angrier. But it is good to have an obsessive hobby eh?
‘Snowflakes won’t last long in Texas/looks like we got us a Reader/you aint from around here are you boy?’ Well bollocks to snowflakes obviously, but Texas? The self righteous land stealing oil swilling blubberbucket cowboy fascist homeland. Doing just fine with Covid since Trumpists decided masks were a Liberal conspiracy run by Jews. Etc. Jumpin Jehovah yeehah and oy vey. Cosmic schmucks. But...‘What is believed to be true, is true or becomes true’ This creates further neuron connections and changes perception, re-programmes and perhaps explains why almost all sides think they are always correct. But over half only seem to Invoke often and eventually perpetuate loops of entropy, they don’t Banish often and cleanse to the purer. Brainwashed by self hypnosis and proud of it. Anal retentives loving their own dirt, believing their own propaganda but not accepting new information unless it conforms to what they have already decided is real and imprinted as truth. Neophobes, in a word. The conspiracy of counter evolution...
‘A political philosophy, movement or regime that exalts nation and often race above the individual, and that stands for a centralised autocratic government headed by a dictatorial leader, severe economic and social regimentation and forcible suppression of opposition.’ Definition of Fascism.
How many countries fit that pattern? China. Russia. Saudi Arabia. North Korea. Brazil, Turkmenistan, Belousrussia, America, parts of Europe...and Britain step by step...anywhere else where populism is rising. ‘The state is the coldest of all cold monsters and coldly it tells lies, and this lie oozes from its lips; ‘I, the state, am the people.’ Nietzsche.  
‘Disobedience was man’s original virtue’. Oscar Wilde. You know what to do. But pull back on the useless iconoclasms kids; don’t give the bastards NO ‘just cause’.
‘All words transmitted as sonic or visual signals – sound waves or light waves -  rapidly become photons, electrons, neurotransmitters, hormones, colloidal reactions, reflex arcs, conditioned or imprinted ‘frames’, physiological responses etc as they impact upon the total synergetic organism. ‘Perception’ consists of a complex series of codings and decodings as in form-ation trans-forms itself through successive sub-systems of the organism as a whole.’ (Robert Anton Wilson) Get it? Choose your magick words with care.
Stay sane and zetetic if you want to be or go freaking crazy, go to the park and read a book, alone in the sunny shade. Keep laughing. Avoid crowds, groups and other people.Love from the Lone Derranger... Enjoy July 23rd via psychic and internet connections and don’t forget...
‘It is only on the cross that the rose may bloom’.
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ulfwolf · 5 years ago
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Wolfku Musing 117
Sunlight to starlight  to sunlight again as Life to Death  and then Life
Twenty-four hours. Day to night to day again. We don’t reflect on this too often, but this cycle really is a lifetime for some, say a mayfly who, indeed, wakes up one morning to fly about all day but most likely will not fly at all the one following.
By the way, why is a mayfly called a May-fly anyway? Well, if you have heard that these little darlings start hatching from their water-larva state starting in May each year (to then continue to hatch, hatch, hatch through the balance of spring and most of summer) then you’ve heard right. Yup, that’s why the name. So, next time you see, or run into, a swarm of these flying critters, be assured: the days have been getting longer for a while.
It is also true that the mayfly is incredibly short-lived. Once out of the larva stage, the female mayfly gets bored with life on Earth after about five minutes, and departs this world then and there while the more long-lived male can make it through not only one day but on occasion a whopping two. But these boys don’t waste a single second of the 86,400 to 172,800 they have been allotted, and spend most if not all of them mating and reproducing. 
In other words, sexing like there’s no tomorrow.
As for nicknames, I don’t know where on earth they got it from, but it’s true that there are folks in our land that refer to them as Canadian Soldiers. Why? one wonders. Not a clue. They are certainly not called that in Canada, where they’re better known as shadflies. And then the British had to weigh in with the more observant and anatomically accurate: up-winged fly.
To some, the mayfly looks like a multi-sectioned flying ant for its abdomen consists of ten individual segments. Strangely enough, some of these segments carry open-and-closeable gills (like a larva hangover). Why? you ask. Well, with so many sexual seconds to fill, perhaps they need to take a break now and then and go for a swim, only to discover that they don’t know how to. No worry, no drowning here. We have gills. I think the word is amphibious.
Actually, I think the word is sloppy evolution, in-elegant.
Most people don’t like mayflies. One people, however, loves them, and these people are called fly fishers; and they love the mayflies because from May on, a fly fisher’s favorite fly to fish with is a mayfly fly (I can say that 23 times in a row, and fast, without screwing up). You may have noticed (or not) that once the mayflies start to hatch, the avid fly fisher starts using artfully made flies resembling this flash in the insect pan. The reason? you ask.
Well, I answer, the mayfly is an extremely popular dish for many a fish, trout included, and since fish keep a close eye on the calendar and know when May rolls around, they will then lunge for anything mayfly-like and if they’re really short on their luck—or karma’s not so good—they’ll swallow an artificial one, much to the fly fisher’s delight and the trout’s dedark.
I think that’s a devious tactic, though, and should be outlawed.
Here’s another interesting mayfly tidbit: they are winged protein and are good food even for humans. What is seen as a nuisance in America is seen as a gift in Africa. Locals around Lake Victoria, for example, gather mayfly adults along with Chironomid midges to make a type of patty called ‘Kungu’. Yum. In fact, this protein-rich food is an important part of their diet.
And bakers in Malawi add them to breads and cakes. Yum, again.
Weird, you say, but did you know that children in the Congo will eat live larva that they dig out of trees, these white larvae so fat that they explode when you bite into them. No, I don’t know this from personal experience, from books. This, though, is my way of offering that there’s no accounting for taste.
So, other things (fish and humans) like to eat them. But what do they eat in turn? The answer is nada. Nothing at all. Why? you ask.
Because they don’t have mouths, I answer.
There is, in other words, no such thing as over-eating in the mayfly world; no diet issues or cookbooks. No counting calories.
Really, it stands to reason, since for adult mayflies, as different from the two-hour old adolescent nymphs, every second (except for those spent swimming slash drowning slash using gills) is earmarked for reproduction and, yes, feeding the occasional lucky fish.
They simply don’t have time to eat so they never developed functional mouths. As larvae, on the other hand, the have very good mouths indeed, which they use consuming tons and tons and tons (as a species) of algae.
I wonder if there are mayfly fly-fishers who fly-fish with algae looking flies? 
Turning now to reproduction: mayflies have lots of babies. Let me restate that: mayflies have LOTS of babies. The female mayfly (who, remember, only lives about 300 seconds, spends the tail-end of those valuable seconds (having first been duly mid-air impregnated) laying anywhere from 400 to 3,000 eggs on waters surfaces. These eggs soon sink to the bottom where they eventually hatch into hungry larvae—look out algae.
Oh, I can hear the question now: How, with about five minutes’ worth of life, does the female mayfly manage to get pregnant? Well, let me enlighten you.
This is what happens:
A mayfly’s life cycle starts with a bunch of horny males forming a cloud-like swarm of “come-and-get-it” above the water for the females to fly into (and they do) to mate—in-flight, no less. The words airborne and orgy comes to mind.
The clouding male mayfly, who is equipped with elongated front legs developed for this very purpose, grabs a passing female and the pair then mate in the air, on the wing (which could be one reason they have very well-developed wings, come to think of it). Done sexing, the male lets go of the female, who now—with a precious minute or two left to live—descends to the water surface where she lays her tons of eggs.
Once done, literally spent, she then collapses on top of the water, gives up her ghost, and now, motionless with her wings spread on the water, does a different “come-and-get-it”, this time for the fish who now pick them off at their leisure.
The male mayfly (say that fast, ten times) rarely returns to the water but, as the final hours approach, instead wings off to die on dry land. Should he, however, return to the water for a late-life swim, he will not, gill-equipped as he is and as we’ve already discussed, drown.
One curious thing about mayfly eggs, by the way, is that they are extremely sensitive to pollution. They like, even demand, clean water. Even modest levels of water pollution can kill up to 80 percent of the eggs, and that is why scientists sometimes use the density of viable mayfly eggs to quickly determine the purity of the water.
I biologists are to be believed, they have been around for a long time, the mayflies, and have over the years caught the attention of many of us humans; Aristotle mentions the mayfly in his “History of Animals.” The poet George Crabbe used the mayfly as a symbol for the brevity of life. And these days many people gather to witness the swarms that form and rise during hatching season. In some regions, the number of insects is so incredibly voluminous that they show up on the local weather radar.
The selfsame biologists say that mayflies have been around since before the dinosaurs, and after more than 350 million years of trial-and-error evolution, they have now perfected what they consider the art of life. Not so sure I’m all that impressed.
They start as eggs that soon turn larvae, which after a month or so hatch into nymphs (also called naiads) who emerge from the water to then, give them an hour or two, mature into adults to reproduce and then start a family of at least 400.
That’s some schedule if you ask me. They all should wear T-shirts saying “live fast, die young.”
Taking a closer look at their development: one of the many characteristics that makes mayflies the unique insects they are is their two-step evolution from larva to adult. Hatched from the larva as a nymph the mayfly-to-be emerges from the water as a dull-colored sub-imago (or dun) that seeks shelter in bankside vegetation and trees. After an hour or so, the sub-imago now sheds its nymph skin to transform into the brightly colored imago (or spinner). It is not clear why mayflies have retained this unique step in their lifecycle; however, it is thought that they may not be able to achieve the change from nymph to sexually mature adult in one step—which doesn’t say much for mayfly intelligence, I think, if, indeed, they’ve had 350 million years to figure things out.
Some mayfly species exhibit an amazing hatching synchronicity. For example, one North American mayfly species hatches in huge numbers from the Mississippi river every year. The total number of mayflies in this hatch alone are estimated to reach 18 trillion—more than 3,000 times the number of people on earth.
Another thing is that these guys are attracted to lights from riverside towns and villages which on occasion has forced the local authorities to deploy snow clearing vehicles to remove small mountains of mayfly corpses. Not a pretty thought.
What a creature.
Of course, this is not what this Wolfku is about, it’s about our local sunlight vs. our remote suns’ lights, e.g. starlight. It’s about life to death to life again.
It’s about impermanence—a fleeting state of affairs much more easily seen and recognized among our mayfly friends than among us humans. However, if an alien species with a lifespan of, say 30,000 years took a closer look at us, and at our ridiculously short lifespan of 80 years or so, they would indeed be justified in calling us mayflies.
It’s all relative, isn’t it?
::
P.S. If you like what you’ve read here and would like to contribute to the creative motion, as it were, you can do so via PayPal: here.
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apsbicepstraining · 8 years ago
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7 Ways The Media Is Trying To Sabotage Your Sex Life
I want you to do me a kindnes and look inside your breathes, right now. Doesn’t matter where you are — do it. Behold the majesty of your genitals. Stare at them until you can feel the movements of annoyance emanating from your own leering gaze. Eye-fuck yourself. Because you are special and endowed with a groinal endow to the world. The fuckings you afford aren’t the fuckings we deserve, but they’re the fucks we need.
But as the Batman of boning you are beset by a belligerent rogues gallery hellbent on break-dance your obligation to the broad betterment of boinking. These mad canadian researchers and deranged journo-bros are driving around the clock to trick America into becoming a sexual wasteland, a lieu where no one knows the proper approach to appropriately sweaty love-making. And you’re the only one who can stop them. “But how? ” you ask. Easy: By reading my article about the evil investigates. “Which one? ” you ask. “This one, ” I reply, pointing to the essay. “No , no, I signify: Which contemplates are evil? ” you clarify. “Oh, right, ” I speak, somewhat abashed. “Let’s start with … “
# 7. … The One That Depresses Condom Use
According to “a study, ” women who opt sex without condoms tend to be psychologically healthier than women who opt their dicks all wrapped-up like a slimy, pulsating Christmas present. Why? Because semen, it turns out, has antidepressant characters when sucked by the vagina. Or the mouth, since this study implied oral sex too.
My favorite part of copulation articles is the stuff I find in our likenes library .
This study is less about women’s mental health than excavation. I’ve ever suspected that my dick-snot has mystical owneds, like unicorn’s blood. That’s why I whisper, “Your balls are good and important” to myself each night before I go to sleep. It’s great to have a scientist dad his head up out of my laptop and support my suspicions.
Why It’s Bullshit
It’s an anonymous goddamn examine of how 300 women recall their sex-lives are exiting, and it completely ignored other factors, like how a woman who’s having unprotected sex might be doing so with one or more close, trusted marriages. I would guess that health and regular sexual relations have a bigger impact on a woman’s joy and happiness than the male gender’s apparently Xanax-filled cum.
Your dick might make her snicker, but that’s not why .
The study also found that oral contraceptives cleared “no significant difference” on the women’s humor, so yeah, their measurings maybe weren’t too accurate. But look on the bright side: Someone is finally encouraging people to have unprotected fornication. My adage is that it’s important that every articulation be heard, even the stupid ones that are bad for the world. Wait. That seems like kind of a shitty motto now that I’ve said it out loud
# 6. … The One That Tries To Persuasion Us To Have Fornication With Our Socks On
The crotch-train to Fuckville may be a far smoother journey if “youre wearing” your socks, according to this study right over here behind these blue-blooded paroles. A cluster of scientists with better places than me sat in a chamber watching volunteers get freaky with one another and discovered that while women only orgasmed 50 percentage of the time without socks, they managed to climb Scream Mountain a whopping 80 percent of the time with socks. They concluded that wrapping your feet up drew maidens appear safer and more emotionally secure.
Why It’s Bullshit
Every article that extended the results of the study mentioned that socks attain women around orgasm wind-tunnels, but almost none of them mentioned that that wasn’t what the study was about at all. It was actually an analysis of the electrical signals inside males and psyches during climaxes. So it’s probably worth mentioning that all the fucking was arising while the participants stood almost entirely immobile with their premiers jammed in a brain scanner in the middle of a freezing cold area. Nobody has copulation like that recreationally , not even your freaky college roommate with the pet spider. And the only reasonablenes any of them were wearing socks while they railed one another was because they asked if they could, because, again, the fuckroom had a draft.
A amazingly common problem in rookie-built fuckrooms .
Either these correspondents have a major sock fetish, or they’re jealous of all our mythologically hot copulation living and “ve tried to” trick us into wearing socks as a kind of sabotage. And even if you think their advice is on the level, you are able to still be wary of taking their admonition since in this instance “mythologically red-hot copulation lives” symbolizes “manages to orgasm more than 80 percentage of the time.”
# 5. … The One That Responded You Should Cum 700 Times Per Year
Being a serviceman signifies walking around all day with a shaken-up bottle of Coca-Cola and Mentos in your pants. There’s not simply an push to have an orgasm; there’s an explosive physical pressure that, if not released, will explode your prostate like an overfilled sea bag. Harmonizing to Dr. Michael Roizen, this means that the more a soldier kills his consignment, the longer he will live. “The usual mortal who has 350 orgasms a year, versus “the member states national” median of around a part of that, lives about four years longer.” Then he lends, “with a straight face, ” according to the reporter, that 700 cocksquirts per year could include eight times to your life.
Hear that, fellow penis-havers? You can live almost an entire decade longer, and all you have to do is have an orgasm twice a period every day for the rest of your goddamn life .
Why It’s Bullshit
“Bullshit” may be too strong a word here, but holy hell is this ambitious. Seven hundred times a year? Even if “youre starting” squeezing at the bottom and toil your mode up, there’s merely so much better toothpaste in the tube, ya know? Now I know that because this is a sex happen some real Casper Van Diens are going to pop up in the comment section to brag about how they cum seven times per day with no troubles at all, and that’s fine for them. But I am merely a squishy someone over here, and my naughty flecks be able to make becoming bruised, deflated, and move. Though perhaps I’m simply not strong enough to survive those additional eight years, and this is progression at work.
Or maybe scientists are trying to trick us into jerking off all day so they can plagiarize our jobs and women .
# 4. … The One That Announced You Should Bone While Sick
When flu season slams, fornication is a possibility the best way to seek relief. Transforms out that orgasms secrete a fill is not simply of crotch-juice but of antibodies announced immunoglobulin A, which are the foot soldiers in the defensive military of your immune method. So, the harder you fuck, the most powerful your fight to those nasty germs. On top of that, the struggle of sex clears your sinuses, which stands easy breathing, better respite, and a quicker return to health.
So we should all sex our sniffles away, huh? Well …
Why It’s Bullshit
When your sinuses get cleared, I don’t have to tell you where that snot becomes, right? I know that hitches are both health and common but most people are put off by the thought of going a smash of boogery buckshot mid-thrust.
“Does this face signify I’m doing a good job or oh no ! ”
On top of that, there’s the fact that this illness is highly communicable. I know that it’s hard to keep from spreading a coldnes to your spouse, but for exclaiming out loud, at the least yield it a shot . Let’s not resign ourselves to half-hearted fever-humping all weekend, okay sweetheart? There’s still a probability I’ll be healthy enough to study a real article about a genuinely insightful and interesting topic instead of just riffing on obvious copulation laughs again.
You know, their own problems may be less that scientists are trying to sabotage our sexuality living and more that they just don’t know what a real copulation life looks like. Specially with the next entry …
# 3. … The One That Suggested Waiting For Marriage Makes Sex Better
Apparently remaining a innocent until your wedding night makes in a far more satisfying copulation life. Which is a relief, because it makes the two sides in the ancient war between Science and Religion have finally spotted a common ground, and they’re going to have soiled fornication right on that common ground as soon as they get married. Now let me just read a duet more sentences in this article about the study, and then have my thought process comically cut off mid-
“Wait! Look closer! ”
Oh, never mind. This analyze came right out of Brigham Young University, a Mormon college in “the worlds largest” religious district of “the worlds largest” religion district in the entire country.
Why It’s Bullshit
So, yeah, the results of the study is a religion organization claiming that their for-real-science-stuff supports a central maxim of their religion. It smells like bullshit right away, but it still surveyed “2, 035 married beings, arraying in age from 19 to 71, married from less than six months to more than 20 years.” Yes, they were overwhelmingly religious, and yes, the person or persons doing the study doesn’t mention myriad other problems with his sample size, but that sample size is still 100 times more than the one used in such studies about sock-sex.
So while religion bias isn’t enormous for discipline, it doesn’t seem to subvert the results any more than trying to fit the findings and conclusions into a headline. And if you want an example of that, there’s this next one …
# 2. … The One That Enunciated That Having More Sex Is Bad
Think more boner-ballets will reach you a happier ballerina? It won’t, according to this study that pronounces to enhance the frequency of sexuality within relationships actually reaches you sadder. After picking out two groups of couples, they told one to redouble their sex activity and the other to keep having the same sum of copulation as before. “The observes were a astound and a frustration, ” said the researchers. “We were expecting that the people who had more copulation would enjoy it a lot and “wouldve been” happier, and it would be good for the relationship. Instead, what we ascertained was that the group who had more sex experienced it less.”
So sex is … bad? Wait a time …
Why It’s Bullshit
One of the first things you learn when “youre starting” living on your own is that recreation things have diminishing returns. Doing something you enjoy twice as much as you want to turns that fun thought into a errand , no matter what it is. Eating bacon and fucking all day resonates really fun and hyper-masculine in theory, but if “were trying” it out, you’ll is my finding that you promptly run out of energy and then die of a Hindenburgian coronary.
The title of that article is “More Sex Can Make You Less Happy, ” but the conclusion of this study isn’t that copulation is poor. It’s that action yourself to have twice as much sexuality as you want to have is bad, which, like, yeah. We already was well known that, because we’ve had sexuality before. Unlike you, Science , you fucking nerd.
# 1. … The One That Said Sex Quality Is Based On Housework
Here’s a study that replies a fair division of chores will lead to a better copulation life. It’s contentious because it denies an earlier study that found that when men contribute to “feminine” housework it solutions in less sex. So what’s the truth? How numerous dishes should a man cleanse if we wants to fuck ?
Why It’s Bullshit
Here’s a captivating convict buried in that first link that, I suppose, blows this whole damn happen wide open TAGEND
“The same study too find there’s no link between the quantity of housework male marriages accomplished and the sex functioning of a couple.”
So, anticipate: How can a being washing more frequently lead to more fornication if the amount of housework has “no relationship” with sex? The scientist( and former pairs therapist) explains: “In any relation, the quantity of housework is going to mean something different based on the couple’s situation, based on their own expectancies for what each partner should be doing, and their likenes levels of what happens with other duos they know.”
See, the findings and conclusions weren’t that Equal Housework= More Sex; they were Fair Relationship= More Sex. Because there’s nothing hotter than working as one to stimulate dinner, coming together to rub that crispy cheese off the cookie membrane, and moving with the flowing grandeur of one blissfully united entity to vacate the recyc-
Holy shit, I’m old-time now, aren’t I?
Cracked is up for TWO Webby Awards, for Best Humor Site and Best Video Entertainment! While we’re busy patting ourselves on the back, you are able to pat more by voting here and here .
The post 7 Ways The Media Is Trying To Sabotage Your Sex Life appeared first on apsbicepstraining.com.
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robot-radar · 8 years ago
Text
2017 Maserati Alfieri Review
2017 Maserati Alfieri has developed impressively as an organization and as of late has tripled its deals from 15,000 in 2007. Achieving as far as possible up to 45,000 in 2015 is required to reach up to 75,000 autos every year or more by 2018. Two of the Cars that will help them accomplish this objective will be the new hybrid and the following 2017 Maserati Levante Alfieri.
To begin with, only a model and now an auto that ought to go into creation in the not so distant future. For some individuals, the Alfieri may resemble a GranTurismo and it would not be as a long way from reality, as it depends on an indistinguishable stage from the MC Stradale, which was then abbreviated by very nearly 10 inches.
#gallery-0-13 { margin: auto; } #gallery-0-13 .gallery-item { float: left; margin-top: 10px; text-align: center; width: 33%; } #gallery-0-13 img { border: 2px solid #cfcfcf; } #gallery-0-13 .gallery-caption { margin-left: 0; } /* see gallery_shortcode() in wp-includes/media.php */
2017 Maserati Alfieri Black
2017 Maserati Alfieri Blue
2017 Maserati Alfieri For Sale
2017 Maserati Alfieri Value Rivalry
The shorter wheelbase permits the 2017 Maserati Alfieri to be lighter than his sibling and furthermore somewhat better. Dissimilar to most auto be that as it may, the following Alfieri ought to hit the market at around $ 100,000 or not as much as what is the ideal auto to enter the supercar world.
Some of its rivals will be the Jaguar F-Type and the Porsche 911 and like these two, more proficient variants will most likely be accessible later on.
2017 Maserati Alfieri Preparing
The idea presented in 2014 uses an actually suctioned 4.7-liter V8 motor and a Ferrari gearbox, yet Alfieri Maserati 2017 generation will be fairly extraordinary.
The auto will share a large portion of its undercarriage and motor parts with the Ghibli, which implies it is in all likelihood just accessible with a 3-liter V6 biturbo. 8-speed programmed is most likely the main alternative, yet a manual could be offered at a later date or in an exceptional version display that would unquestionably be a market without anyone else.
The motor ought to convey 410 pull and 350 lb-ft of torque at the base-level gear that is positively more than pretty much the greater part of its rivals. Afterward, in the scope of a 450-drive adaptation of a similar motor will likewise be accessible, while the higher model is said to convey more than 520 torque.
In this particular case, in any case, we anticipate that Maserati will introduce its 3.8-liter V8 biturbo in the engine of Alfieri that would be effectively equipped for conveying this power while not being all that out either.
#gallery-0-14 { margin: auto; } #gallery-0-14 .gallery-item { float: left; margin-top: 10px; text-align: center; width: 33%; } #gallery-0-14 img { border: 2px solid #cfcfcf; } #gallery-0-14 .gallery-caption { margin-left: 0; } /* see gallery_shortcode() in wp-includes/media.php */
2017 Maserati Alfieri Specs
2017 Maserati Alfieri Inside
2017 Maserati Alfieri Price
2017 Maserati Alfieri Review
2017 Maserati Alfieri Vittorio
2017 Maserati Alfieri Release Date
2017 Maserati Alfieri Outline
For an auto like this POS is not recently the motor but rather the look of its offer to its driver. The great part is that Alfieri Maserati in 2017 is a standout amongst the most watched autos that Maserati has ever constructed and that is one of only a handful few models depending vigorously on one of its first autos, 1954 A6 GCS/54, a symbol and model Very forceful.
The Alfieri is somewhat more acculturated, in spite of the fact that the generation auto will be practically indistinguishable to the idea, there are a few changes between the two. Firstly, it is normal that the wheels will be distinctive, while the turnaround brake of the plan could be conceded unaltered.
Moreover, the generation model is not in light of the MC Stradale but rather the Ghibli, which additionally implies that it will no doubt be bigger than the idea too.
The Alfieri ought to have the capacity to give superior to the normal lodge, both as far as space and furthermore quality. It ought to offer a 2 + 2 design, where the back seats will be there just for security reasons. What’s more, most materials and even capacities will be exchanged over the Ghibli, however their outline will be interesting.
#gallery-0-15 { margin: auto; } #gallery-0-15 .gallery-item { float: left; margin-top: 10px; text-align: center; width: 33%; } #gallery-0-15 img { border: 2px solid #cfcfcf; } #gallery-0-15 .gallery-caption { margin-left: 0; } /* see gallery_shortcode() in wp-includes/media.php */
2017 Maserati Alfieri
2017 Maserati Alfieri Interior
2017 Maserati Alfieri Silver
2017 Maserati Alfieri Distribution Date New Alfieri
There is very little data thought about the correct dispatch date for the 2017 Alfieri. What is known is that the auto ought to go into generation in mid 2017. This implies the Alfieri idea is prepared to end up distinctly the last item some place in the mid year of 2017. Concerning the previously mentioned we can expect this auto available in late 2017 or mid 2018 MI.
Drain and the Execution
Maserati CEO Harald Wester says the eventual fate of the brand lies in a “lovely carefully assembled blemish” that, to our ears, similar to the portrayal of a Vermont teddy hold on for three legs rather than an awesome Italian visitor.
Yet, Wester picks his words to keep up the homogeneity of Maserati and the sterility of the German makers, regardless of the possibility that it runs as one with them. In this opposition, Wester determines no blow and does not dispose of words. “They are exceptionally irritating,” he told correspondents as of late.
The soul is the thing that will create the Alfieri, a roadster 2 + 2, which is littler, cleaner and less expensive than the brand GranTurismo. While Alfieri assumed a little part in deals figures contrasted with SUVs nearby Maserati Levante, the roadster assumes a key part in following brand administration as it cuts a specialty between Alfa Romeo and Ferrari in the $ extend 70,000 to $ 150,000.
The new Quattro Porte and Ghibli are fruitful, in any event in the goal sense. They dramatically increased worldwide brand deals a year ago, and on the off chance that you trust the story line exhibited by Maserati, its greatest test, as well, to monitor development.
Wester says he will restrain the organization’s yearly turnover to 75,000 deals, a guarantee that it might be hard to keep up that the Levant is online in the not so distant future. Be that as it may, in our endeavors, the later maser feel fragmented, defectively unmistakable.
2017 Maserati Alfieri Productivity and Execution
It is too soon to state whether the computed blemish sparkles Wester brand or essentially strengthen the generalizations of Italian autos, however in the event that the Geneva 2014 idea is a sign, Alfieri Maserati could come back to his legitimate place in autodom as a Ferrari specialist. At the point when the Quattro Porte and Ghibli look somewhat delicate and dull, the Alfieri discovers all the strain and dramatization.
Named for one of the three Maserati siblings who opened their studio in 1914, the Alfieri will go up against the Jaguar F-Type, Mercedes-AMG GT and Porsche 911 with a beginning cost of around $ 100,000. Anticipate that the generation auto will be worked from a blend of steel and aluminum, imparting key components of its structure to the following GranTurismo.
Maserati Alfieri will isolate from him and GranTurismo cars with $ 30,000 in base cost and a distinction of 9.4 creeps of wheelbase. A convertible is likewise ensured, most likely coming a year after the car.
The 3.0-liter twin-turbo V-6, effectively utilized as a part of the Ghibli and Quattro Porte, discover another house in the Alfieri. The air base will begin around 410 torque with an overhaul alternative at 450 while the best entertainer may require an uneven ride to suit his 520 strength bits of gossip.
Just the 410 torque motor ought to drive the back wheels; The most effective models will come standard with all-wheel drive. All the 2017 Maserati Alfieri utilize the eight-speed ZF programmed transmission.
2017 Maserati Alfieri – It is our homage to Maserati’s Sports Heritage and it is the future of Maserati design 2017 Maserati Alfieri Review 2017 Maserati Alfieri has developed impressively as an organization and as of late has tripled its deals from 15,000 in 2007.
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apsbicepstraining · 8 years ago
Text
7 Ways The Media Is Trying To Sabotage Your Sex Life
I want you to do me a kindnes and look inside your breathes, right now. Doesn’t matter where you are — do it. Behold the majesty of your genitals. Stare at them until you can feel the movements of annoyance emanating from your own leering gaze. Eye-fuck yourself. Because you are special and endowed with a groinal endow to the world. The fuckings you afford aren’t the fuckings we deserve, but they’re the fucks we need.
But as the Batman of boning you are beset by a belligerent rogues gallery hellbent on break-dance your obligation to the broad betterment of boinking. These mad canadian researchers and deranged journo-bros are driving around the clock to trick America into becoming a sexual wasteland, a lieu where no one knows the proper approach to appropriately sweaty love-making. And you’re the only one who can stop them. “But how? ” you ask. Easy: By reading my article about the evil investigates. “Which one? ” you ask. “This one, ” I reply, pointing to the essay. “No , no, I signify: Which contemplates are evil? ” you clarify. “Oh, right, ” I speak, somewhat abashed. “Let’s start with … “
# 7. … The One That Depresses Condom Use
According to “a study, ” women who opt sex without condoms tend to be psychologically healthier than women who opt their dicks all wrapped-up like a slimy, pulsating Christmas present. Why? Because semen, it turns out, has antidepressant characters when sucked by the vagina. Or the mouth, since this study implied oral sex too.
My favorite part of copulation articles is the stuff I find in our likenes library .
This study is less about women’s mental health than excavation. I’ve ever suspected that my dick-snot has mystical owneds, like unicorn’s blood. That’s why I whisper, “Your balls are good and important” to myself each night before I go to sleep. It’s great to have a scientist dad his head up out of my laptop and support my suspicions.
Why It’s Bullshit
It’s an anonymous goddamn examine of how 300 women recall their sex-lives are exiting, and it completely ignored other factors, like how a woman who’s having unprotected sex might be doing so with one or more close, trusted marriages. I would guess that health and regular sexual relations have a bigger impact on a woman’s joy and happiness than the male gender’s apparently Xanax-filled cum.
Your dick might make her snicker, but that’s not why .
The study also found that oral contraceptives cleared “no significant difference” on the women’s humor, so yeah, their measurings maybe weren’t too accurate. But look on the bright side: Someone is finally encouraging people to have unprotected fornication. My adage is that it’s important that every articulation be heard, even the stupid ones that are bad for the world. Wait. That seems like kind of a shitty motto now that I’ve said it out loud
# 6. … The One That Tries To Persuasion Us To Have Fornication With Our Socks On
The crotch-train to Fuckville may be a far smoother journey if “youre wearing” your socks, according to this study right over here behind these blue-blooded paroles. A cluster of scientists with better places than me sat in a chamber watching volunteers get freaky with one another and discovered that while women only orgasmed 50 percentage of the time without socks, they managed to climb Scream Mountain a whopping 80 percent of the time with socks. They concluded that wrapping your feet up drew maidens appear safer and more emotionally secure.
Why It’s Bullshit
Every article that extended the results of the study mentioned that socks attain women around orgasm wind-tunnels, but almost none of them mentioned that that wasn’t what the study was about at all. It was actually an analysis of the electrical signals inside males and psyches during climaxes. So it’s probably worth mentioning that all the fucking was arising while the participants stood almost entirely immobile with their premiers jammed in a brain scanner in the middle of a freezing cold area. Nobody has copulation like that recreationally , not even your freaky college roommate with the pet spider. And the only reasonablenes any of them were wearing socks while they railed one another was because they asked if they could, because, again, the fuckroom had a draft.
A amazingly common problem in rookie-built fuckrooms .
Either these correspondents have a major sock fetish, or they’re jealous of all our mythologically hot copulation living and “ve tried to” trick us into wearing socks as a kind of sabotage. And even if you think their advice is on the level, you are able to still be wary of taking their admonition since in this instance “mythologically red-hot copulation lives” symbolizes “manages to orgasm more than 80 percentage of the time.”
# 5. … The One That Responded You Should Cum 700 Times Per Year
Being a serviceman signifies walking around all day with a shaken-up bottle of Coca-Cola and Mentos in your pants. There’s not simply an push to have an orgasm; there’s an explosive physical pressure that, if not released, will explode your prostate like an overfilled sea bag. Harmonizing to Dr. Michael Roizen, this means that the more a soldier kills his consignment, the longer he will live. “The usual mortal who has 350 orgasms a year, versus “the member states national” median of around a part of that, lives about four years longer.” Then he lends, “with a straight face, ” according to the reporter, that 700 cocksquirts per year could include eight times to your life.
Hear that, fellow penis-havers? You can live almost an entire decade longer, and all you have to do is have an orgasm twice a period every day for the rest of your goddamn life .
Why It’s Bullshit
“Bullshit” may be too strong a word here, but holy hell is this ambitious. Seven hundred times a year? Even if “youre starting” squeezing at the bottom and toil your mode up, there’s merely so much better toothpaste in the tube, ya know? Now I know that because this is a sex happen some real Casper Van Diens are going to pop up in the comment section to brag about how they cum seven times per day with no troubles at all, and that’s fine for them. But I am merely a squishy someone over here, and my naughty flecks be able to make becoming bruised, deflated, and move. Though perhaps I’m simply not strong enough to survive those additional eight years, and this is progression at work.
Or maybe scientists are trying to trick us into jerking off all day so they can plagiarize our jobs and women .
# 4. … The One That Announced You Should Bone While Sick
When flu season slams, fornication is a possibility the best way to seek relief. Transforms out that orgasms secrete a fill is not simply of crotch-juice but of antibodies announced immunoglobulin A, which are the foot soldiers in the defensive military of your immune method. So, the harder you fuck, the most powerful your fight to those nasty germs. On top of that, the struggle of sex clears your sinuses, which stands easy breathing, better respite, and a quicker return to health.
So we should all sex our sniffles away, huh? Well …
Why It’s Bullshit
When your sinuses get cleared, I don’t have to tell you where that snot becomes, right? I know that hitches are both health and common but most people are put off by the thought of going a smash of boogery buckshot mid-thrust.
“Does this face signify I’m doing a good job or oh no ! ”
On top of that, there’s the fact that this illness is highly communicable. I know that it’s hard to keep from spreading a coldnes to your spouse, but for exclaiming out loud, at the least yield it a shot . Let’s not resign ourselves to half-hearted fever-humping all weekend, okay sweetheart? There’s still a probability I’ll be healthy enough to study a real article about a genuinely insightful and interesting topic instead of just riffing on obvious copulation laughs again.
You know, their own problems may be less that scientists are trying to sabotage our sexuality living and more that they just don’t know what a real copulation life looks like. Specially with the next entry …
# 3. … The One That Suggested Waiting For Marriage Makes Sex Better
Apparently remaining a innocent until your wedding night makes in a far more satisfying copulation life. Which is a relief, because it makes the two sides in the ancient war between Science and Religion have finally spotted a common ground, and they’re going to have soiled fornication right on that common ground as soon as they get married. Now let me just read a duet more sentences in this article about the study, and then have my thought process comically cut off mid-
“Wait! Look closer! ”
Oh, never mind. This analyze came right out of Brigham Young University, a Mormon college in “the worlds largest” religious district of “the worlds largest” religion district in the entire country.
Why It’s Bullshit
So, yeah, the results of the study is a religion organization claiming that their for-real-science-stuff supports a central maxim of their religion. It smells like bullshit right away, but it still surveyed “2, 035 married beings, arraying in age from 19 to 71, married from less than six months to more than 20 years.” Yes, they were overwhelmingly religious, and yes, the person or persons doing the study doesn’t mention myriad other problems with his sample size, but that sample size is still 100 times more than the one used in such studies about sock-sex.
So while religion bias isn’t enormous for discipline, it doesn’t seem to subvert the results any more than trying to fit the findings and conclusions into a headline. And if you want an example of that, there’s this next one …
# 2. … The One That Enunciated That Having More Sex Is Bad
Think more boner-ballets will reach you a happier ballerina? It won’t, according to this study that pronounces to enhance the frequency of sexuality within relationships actually reaches you sadder. After picking out two groups of couples, they told one to redouble their sex activity and the other to keep having the same sum of copulation as before. “The observes were a astound and a frustration, ” said the researchers. “We were expecting that the people who had more copulation would enjoy it a lot and “wouldve been” happier, and it would be good for the relationship. Instead, what we ascertained was that the group who had more sex experienced it less.”
So sex is … bad? Wait a time …
Why It’s Bullshit
One of the first things you learn when “youre starting” living on your own is that recreation things have diminishing returns. Doing something you enjoy twice as much as you want to turns that fun thought into a errand , no matter what it is. Eating bacon and fucking all day resonates really fun and hyper-masculine in theory, but if “were trying” it out, you’ll is my finding that you promptly run out of energy and then die of a Hindenburgian coronary.
The title of that article is “More Sex Can Make You Less Happy, ” but the conclusion of this study isn’t that copulation is poor. It’s that action yourself to have twice as much sexuality as you want to have is bad, which, like, yeah. We already was well known that, because we’ve had sexuality before. Unlike you, Science , you fucking nerd.
# 1. … The One That Said Sex Quality Is Based On Housework
Here’s a study that replies a fair division of chores will lead to a better copulation life. It’s contentious because it denies an earlier study that found that when men contribute to “feminine” housework it solutions in less sex. So what’s the truth? How numerous dishes should a man cleanse if we wants to fuck ?
Why It’s Bullshit
Here’s a captivating convict buried in that first link that, I suppose, blows this whole damn happen wide open TAGEND
“The same study too find there’s no link between the quantity of housework male marriages accomplished and the sex functioning of a couple.”
So, anticipate: How can a being washing more frequently lead to more fornication if the amount of housework has “no relationship” with sex? The scientist( and former pairs therapist) explains: “In any relation, the quantity of housework is going to mean something different based on the couple’s situation, based on their own expectancies for what each partner should be doing, and their likenes levels of what happens with other duos they know.”
See, the findings and conclusions weren’t that Equal Housework= More Sex; they were Fair Relationship= More Sex. Because there’s nothing hotter than working as one to stimulate dinner, coming together to rub that crispy cheese off the cookie membrane, and moving with the flowing grandeur of one blissfully united entity to vacate the recyc-
Holy shit, I’m old-time now, aren’t I?
Cracked is up for TWO Webby Awards, for Best Humor Site and Best Video Entertainment! While we’re busy patting ourselves on the back, you are able to pat more by voting here and here .
The post 7 Ways The Media Is Trying To Sabotage Your Sex Life appeared first on apsbicepstraining.com.
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1 note · View note
apsbicepstraining · 8 years ago
Text
7 Ways The Media Is Trying To Sabotage Your Sex Life
I want you to do me a kindnes and look inside your breathes, right now. Doesn’t matter where you are — do it. Behold the majesty of your genitals. Stare at them until you can feel the movements of annoyance emanating from your own leering gaze. Eye-fuck yourself. Because you are special and endowed with a groinal endow to the world. The fuckings you afford aren’t the fuckings we deserve, but they’re the fucks we need.
But as the Batman of boning you are beset by a belligerent rogues gallery hellbent on break-dance your obligation to the broad betterment of boinking. These mad canadian researchers and deranged journo-bros are driving around the clock to trick America into becoming a sexual wasteland, a lieu where no one knows the proper approach to appropriately sweaty love-making. And you’re the only one who can stop them. “But how? ” you ask. Easy: By reading my article about the evil investigates. “Which one? ” you ask. “This one, ” I reply, pointing to the essay. “No , no, I signify: Which contemplates are evil? ” you clarify. “Oh, right, ” I speak, somewhat abashed. “Let’s start with … “
# 7. … The One That Depresses Condom Use
According to “a study, ” women who opt sex without condoms tend to be psychologically healthier than women who opt their dicks all wrapped-up like a slimy, pulsating Christmas present. Why? Because semen, it turns out, has antidepressant characters when sucked by the vagina. Or the mouth, since this study implied oral sex too.
My favorite part of copulation articles is the stuff I find in our likenes library .
This study is less about women’s mental health than excavation. I’ve ever suspected that my dick-snot has mystical owneds, like unicorn’s blood. That’s why I whisper, “Your balls are good and important” to myself each night before I go to sleep. It’s great to have a scientist dad his head up out of my laptop and support my suspicions.
Why It’s Bullshit
It’s an anonymous goddamn examine of how 300 women recall their sex-lives are exiting, and it completely ignored other factors, like how a woman who’s having unprotected sex might be doing so with one or more close, trusted marriages. I would guess that health and regular sexual relations have a bigger impact on a woman’s joy and happiness than the male gender’s apparently Xanax-filled cum.
Your dick might make her snicker, but that’s not why .
The study also found that oral contraceptives cleared “no significant difference” on the women’s humor, so yeah, their measurings maybe weren’t too accurate. But look on the bright side: Someone is finally encouraging people to have unprotected fornication. My adage is that it’s important that every articulation be heard, even the stupid ones that are bad for the world. Wait. That seems like kind of a shitty motto now that I’ve said it out loud
# 6. … The One That Tries To Persuasion Us To Have Fornication With Our Socks On
The crotch-train to Fuckville may be a far smoother journey if “youre wearing” your socks, according to this study right over here behind these blue-blooded paroles. A cluster of scientists with better places than me sat in a chamber watching volunteers get freaky with one another and discovered that while women only orgasmed 50 percentage of the time without socks, they managed to climb Scream Mountain a whopping 80 percent of the time with socks. They concluded that wrapping your feet up drew maidens appear safer and more emotionally secure.
Why It’s Bullshit
Every article that extended the results of the study mentioned that socks attain women around orgasm wind-tunnels, but almost none of them mentioned that that wasn’t what the study was about at all. It was actually an analysis of the electrical signals inside males and psyches during climaxes. So it’s probably worth mentioning that all the fucking was arising while the participants stood almost entirely immobile with their premiers jammed in a brain scanner in the middle of a freezing cold area. Nobody has copulation like that recreationally , not even your freaky college roommate with the pet spider. And the only reasonablenes any of them were wearing socks while they railed one another was because they asked if they could, because, again, the fuckroom had a draft.
A amazingly common problem in rookie-built fuckrooms .
Either these correspondents have a major sock fetish, or they’re jealous of all our mythologically hot copulation living and “ve tried to” trick us into wearing socks as a kind of sabotage. And even if you think their advice is on the level, you are able to still be wary of taking their admonition since in this instance “mythologically red-hot copulation lives” symbolizes “manages to orgasm more than 80 percentage of the time.”
# 5. … The One That Responded You Should Cum 700 Times Per Year
Being a serviceman signifies walking around all day with a shaken-up bottle of Coca-Cola and Mentos in your pants. There’s not simply an push to have an orgasm; there’s an explosive physical pressure that, if not released, will explode your prostate like an overfilled sea bag. Harmonizing to Dr. Michael Roizen, this means that the more a soldier kills his consignment, the longer he will live. “The usual mortal who has 350 orgasms a year, versus “the member states national” median of around a part of that, lives about four years longer.” Then he lends, “with a straight face, ” according to the reporter, that 700 cocksquirts per year could include eight times to your life.
Hear that, fellow penis-havers? You can live almost an entire decade longer, and all you have to do is have an orgasm twice a period every day for the rest of your goddamn life .
Why It’s Bullshit
“Bullshit” may be too strong a word here, but holy hell is this ambitious. Seven hundred times a year? Even if “youre starting” squeezing at the bottom and toil your mode up, there’s merely so much better toothpaste in the tube, ya know? Now I know that because this is a sex happen some real Casper Van Diens are going to pop up in the comment section to brag about how they cum seven times per day with no troubles at all, and that’s fine for them. But I am merely a squishy someone over here, and my naughty flecks be able to make becoming bruised, deflated, and move. Though perhaps I’m simply not strong enough to survive those additional eight years, and this is progression at work.
Or maybe scientists are trying to trick us into jerking off all day so they can plagiarize our jobs and women .
# 4. … The One That Announced You Should Bone While Sick
When flu season slams, fornication is a possibility the best way to seek relief. Transforms out that orgasms secrete a fill is not simply of crotch-juice but of antibodies announced immunoglobulin A, which are the foot soldiers in the defensive military of your immune method. So, the harder you fuck, the most powerful your fight to those nasty germs. On top of that, the struggle of sex clears your sinuses, which stands easy breathing, better respite, and a quicker return to health.
So we should all sex our sniffles away, huh? Well …
Why It’s Bullshit
When your sinuses get cleared, I don’t have to tell you where that snot becomes, right? I know that hitches are both health and common but most people are put off by the thought of going a smash of boogery buckshot mid-thrust.
“Does this face signify I’m doing a good job or oh no ! ”
On top of that, there’s the fact that this illness is highly communicable. I know that it’s hard to keep from spreading a coldnes to your spouse, but for exclaiming out loud, at the least yield it a shot . Let’s not resign ourselves to half-hearted fever-humping all weekend, okay sweetheart? There’s still a probability I’ll be healthy enough to study a real article about a genuinely insightful and interesting topic instead of just riffing on obvious copulation laughs again.
You know, their own problems may be less that scientists are trying to sabotage our sexuality living and more that they just don’t know what a real copulation life looks like. Specially with the next entry …
# 3. … The One That Suggested Waiting For Marriage Makes Sex Better
Apparently remaining a innocent until your wedding night makes in a far more satisfying copulation life. Which is a relief, because it makes the two sides in the ancient war between Science and Religion have finally spotted a common ground, and they’re going to have soiled fornication right on that common ground as soon as they get married. Now let me just read a duet more sentences in this article about the study, and then have my thought process comically cut off mid-
“Wait! Look closer! ”
Oh, never mind. This analyze came right out of Brigham Young University, a Mormon college in “the worlds largest” religious district of “the worlds largest” religion district in the entire country.
Why It’s Bullshit
So, yeah, the results of the study is a religion organization claiming that their for-real-science-stuff supports a central maxim of their religion. It smells like bullshit right away, but it still surveyed “2, 035 married beings, arraying in age from 19 to 71, married from less than six months to more than 20 years.” Yes, they were overwhelmingly religious, and yes, the person or persons doing the study doesn’t mention myriad other problems with his sample size, but that sample size is still 100 times more than the one used in such studies about sock-sex.
So while religion bias isn’t enormous for discipline, it doesn’t seem to subvert the results any more than trying to fit the findings and conclusions into a headline. And if you want an example of that, there’s this next one …
# 2. … The One That Enunciated That Having More Sex Is Bad
Think more boner-ballets will reach you a happier ballerina? It won’t, according to this study that pronounces to enhance the frequency of sexuality within relationships actually reaches you sadder. After picking out two groups of couples, they told one to redouble their sex activity and the other to keep having the same sum of copulation as before. “The observes were a astound and a frustration, ” said the researchers. “We were expecting that the people who had more copulation would enjoy it a lot and “wouldve been” happier, and it would be good for the relationship. Instead, what we ascertained was that the group who had more sex experienced it less.”
So sex is … bad? Wait a time …
Why It’s Bullshit
One of the first things you learn when “youre starting” living on your own is that recreation things have diminishing returns. Doing something you enjoy twice as much as you want to turns that fun thought into a errand , no matter what it is. Eating bacon and fucking all day resonates really fun and hyper-masculine in theory, but if “were trying” it out, you’ll is my finding that you promptly run out of energy and then die of a Hindenburgian coronary.
The title of that article is “More Sex Can Make You Less Happy, ” but the conclusion of this study isn’t that copulation is poor. It’s that action yourself to have twice as much sexuality as you want to have is bad, which, like, yeah. We already was well known that, because we’ve had sexuality before. Unlike you, Science , you fucking nerd.
# 1. … The One That Said Sex Quality Is Based On Housework
Here’s a study that replies a fair division of chores will lead to a better copulation life. It’s contentious because it denies an earlier study that found that when men contribute to “feminine” housework it solutions in less sex. So what’s the truth? How numerous dishes should a man cleanse if we wants to fuck ?
Why It’s Bullshit
Here’s a captivating convict buried in that first link that, I suppose, blows this whole damn happen wide open TAGEND
“The same study too find there’s no link between the quantity of housework male marriages accomplished and the sex functioning of a couple.”
So, anticipate: How can a being washing more frequently lead to more fornication if the amount of housework has “no relationship” with sex? The scientist( and former pairs therapist) explains: “In any relation, the quantity of housework is going to mean something different based on the couple’s situation, based on their own expectancies for what each partner should be doing, and their likenes levels of what happens with other duos they know.”
See, the findings and conclusions weren’t that Equal Housework= More Sex; they were Fair Relationship= More Sex. Because there’s nothing hotter than working as one to stimulate dinner, coming together to rub that crispy cheese off the cookie membrane, and moving with the flowing grandeur of one blissfully united entity to vacate the recyc-
Holy shit, I’m old-time now, aren’t I?
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