#While my characters solve everything with a hug and head pats

[a-flaming-idiot]

My writing: Hand holding, hugs, head pats, cuddling, sleeping together(literally), forehead touches, face holding, "a pleasant touch" being used fifty times per chapter, full body hugs and cuddling, SO MUCH PHYSICAL AFFECTION!!!!

Me, the author: If anyone touches me I will spontaneously burst into flame and die horribly.

[linawritestwst]

him taking care of you + you taking care of him (gn!reader)

(divider link)

characters: riddle rosehearts, ruggie bucchi, jamil viper, epel felmier, lilia vanrouge, silver, neige leblanche, rollo flamme.

genre: fluff, hurt/comfort

warnings: none

hi hi!! so, uh, yeah, i'm trying to write something for this blog again. i don't think i'll open my requests anytime soon tbh, i kinda want to focus on writing self-indulgent stuff rn.

so yeah, hope you enjoy these! <3 i've tried to make them as soft and cute as possible.

riddle rosehearts.

him taking care of you:

♡ riddle is a busy man, that's for sure, but that doesn't mean he doesn't care about you or that he doesn't have any time for you at all. he loves you and if he could, he would spend as much time with you as possible, but.. you know how responsible and strict he is. but again, it doesn't mean that he cares about the queen of hearts' rules more than you.. t-though it may seem like that sometimes.

♡ if he notices that you're not feeling well, like for example, maybe you're sick, he will worry about you a lot. maybe it's not that noticeable to you, but everyone else can see just how much riddle cares about you and wants you to get better. if riddle has a lot of work to do and he can't check up on you, he may ask trey for help, since he's his vice dorm leader, though he will feel terrible about it: riddle would much rather do all of that himself. he knows that maybe it'd be a more logical decision to send trey to take care of you while he tries to do everything as fast as he can so that he can visit you later, but for some reason.. no, it's obvious that riddle really wants to be there for you. 

♡ if you're not doing well mentally, even though riddle is not good at giving emotional support and understanding other people's feelings, he still wants to be there and support you. if there's something bothering you, he will listen and he will try his best to come up with the best way to solve your problem. he prefers to think about such things logically and if the voices in your head are being too loud and mean, maybe his voice can help you feel a bit lighter.

you taking care of him:

♡ riddle tries his best to work on his temper, he really does. but of course, he still can't control his anger sometimes. maybe it's because of someone breaking a rule again. maybe it's because of his mother hurting him with her words again. maybe it's because everything is just.. too much for him and he feels overwhelmed even though he'd rather deny it and say that he's fine, because what else could you possibly expect from a dorm leader? and when that happens, you are here to gently calm him down or let him express his frustration and anger, it really depends on what would be better for him at the moment.

♡ if it's the first one, you hold riddle in your arms and softly tell him to take deep breaths, in and out. you slowly pat his head as he does so and you can feel just how fast his heart is beating. his face starts feeling a bit less hot, he finally remembers where he is and what's going on and his anger goes away, even if it's just for a moment. and if it does come back, you still stay with him no matter what. you know that riddle doesn't want to hurt you and if he mentions feeling ashamed and being afraid of doing something bad to you in this state, you hold his hand and tell him that you trust him.  

♡ if it's the second one, you and riddle go to his room and you just let him do whatever he needs to let his feelings out. of course, there are some limits and exceptions and you make sure riddle doesn't accidentally hurt himself in the process or hurt anyone that dares to come in. when he finally feels a bit calmer and looks around while breathing heavily and trying to process everything, you ask him what he needs right now. does he want to be left alone? does he want you to hug him? you make sure riddle feels safe and doesn't worry about anything. if he broke something in the process.. well, he can probably just use magic to fix it, right?

ruggie bucchi.

him taking care of you:

♡ if you ever say that you feel like a burden to him, ruggie doesn't want to hear it. why? because he would always choose taking care of you over doing stuff for leona. he doesn't care about you not looking perfect today and he won't care about it tomorrow or any other day. when he hears about what you're going through, you blaming yourself for not having any energy to get out of bed or take care of your appearance, sounds so.. weird to him. how can you still say that you're the one in the wrong in this situation? he just sighs, shakes his head and ruffles your hair while saying that you should be grateful for him being here for you. he's not being serious, of course. 

♡ if you don't have any energy to do chores or you're sick, he's totally okay with doing them for you. if you say anything about feeling guilty or if he hears you trying to offer your help, he doesn't let you finish. he's doing it not because he's your servant or because he owes you something. he just loves you a lot and wants you to know that. and if making your day a little bit easier is what he can do to show his love for you, he's more than okay with doing exactly that.

♡ he can't say that he's good at giving advice or understanding other people's emotions or anything like that, but if you need to vent, go on, he'll listen. he will nod, he will act surprised, he will make funny (and not really) comments, because even if he doesn't know how to solve your problem and even if he doesn't know how to show that he cares, he wants you to know that at times like these, you can still ask him for help and support. you've saved him so many times before and you don't even know about it. let him do the same for you just as many times as you did.

you taking care of him:

♡ ruggie may act like he has a lot of requests and that he can never be satisfied, but actually, he doesn't need as much as he likes to say he does. you buying him some donuts or giving him headpats always does the trick. you still love spoiling him though and if he's tired, you're always okay with letting him lie on your lap and talk to you or just take a nap, if he wants. you like buying him gifts even if he doesn't ask for anything, you love to see his reactions too much. he always gets shocked at first, but then he gets so excited, you can't help but smile because of how cute he is.

♡ you always notice if something is wrong and if ruggie is not feeling so good, you're always there to ask what happened and help him in any way you can. honestly, you're so good at noticing him try to hide his feelings, it scares him actually. he wishes he was better at fooling you and making you believe that everything is alright, but.. of course, ruggie has his problems too. of course, his life is hard too. but you being there to listen or to just give him the tightest and warmest hug that you can give him is everything that he needs at moments like these.

♡ if ruggie needs to let his feelings out, you'll be there and support him. you'll listen to everything he has to say. if he tries to laugh it off or says that it's actually not that serious, you give him the look that lets him know that you won't let him run away so easily and he has no choice but to admit that he's been not doing great. even if it's just him being tired from running around and doing errands, you still listen to his every word and make sure ruggie knows that you care. because you know that even something as small as this can make ruggie's day or maybe his entire week.

jamil viper.

him taking care of you:

♡ jamil knows how hard it can be sometimes, so if you're having any problems, if you're going through something really bad, you can rely on him. no, you are not being annoying, that's kalim's job. you can just sit down and talk about everything that's been going on while he makes you some warm tea, but still listens to you and nods and tells you to continue. even if you cry, even if you show how angry you are, he'll listen. if you can't hold back your tears, he will hold you as you cry while telling you that it's okay. and no, he doesn't mean it in a "everything will be okay" kind of way. he can't make promises like that. but he means it in a "it's okay for you to cry and be honest with me and show your vulnerable side to me because i promise that i won't hurt you and i won't betray you" kind of way.

♡ and he really does mean it. sure, jamil is.. u-uh, not perfect. but when he says that he will never betray you, that he will never stab you in the back, that he will never use you, he means it. when it comes to doing those things to other people to protect you though- okay, okay, fine, he'll stop himself there. however, he still often feels like he has to hide some things from you because he doesn't want to worry you or make you feel sad. but he still expects you to always tell him if you need his help or if you've been struggling lately. yes, he knows it's selfish. please forgive him for that.

♡ jamil is very patient with you. you're not a burden to him. you're not a nuisance. if you think he's being too quiet while you vent to him, it's not because he doesn't care, but because he wants to let you express your feelings, because he knows how often you tend to bottle them up. your every word matters to him and he wants to hear about everything that's been bothering you. he'll try his best to come up with a solution and give you some kind of advice. if he can't do that, well.. maybe he can at least keep you company, if you're okay with that?

you taking care of him:

♡ you know that jamil can get so, so tired of everything. and you can't even blame him. you understand him so well. so you just want to be there for him when things get rough. when he feels like he can't control his feelings anymore, when he's tired of pretending like everything's fine, when he feels like nobody will ever notice or truly appreciate his efforts, you gently put your hand on his shoulder and remind him that you care. if no one else does, at least you care. and that's already enough for him, because you are the most precious person in this world to him.

♡ jamil doesn't even have to say anything. if he doesn't have the energy for that, you're completely fine with it. you can just sit next to him with your head on his shoulder and you both don't have to talk. this silence isn't scary, it isn't weird, it isn't uncomfortable. and if he wants to talk about his feelings, you'd love to hear it. he can talk about whatever he wants as you carefully unbraid his hair and nod and react to everything. he doesn't have to apologize for his ranting, it's just him expressing his feelings and why should he be sorry for that?

♡ if jamil is angry, you'll let him be angry. if jamil is sad, you'll let him be sad. he never has to pretend to be someone else when he's with you. he doesn't have to pretend that he's better than he is. and he doesn't have to pretend that he's worse. you still love him no matter what. simply because jamil is.. jamil. and you don't need him to be anyone else. if he doesn't want to do anything special or productive today, that's fine. if he kinda wants to show off and impress you, that's also fine. and even though, of course, you want jamil to be happy, it doesn't mean that you stop loving him when he shows a negative emotion. because that's still him. and you love him. 

epel felmier.

him taking care of you:

♡ oh? you don't feel so good?.. okay, who should he punch for making you feel bad? hm? it's not someone else's fault?.. o-okay then. epel is not exactly an expert when it comes to mental health problems, but if you just need him to be there and support you, he'll be more than happy to do just that. if you have the energy for it, you two can take a walk and just enjoy the sunlight, the warmth or the cool breeze, depending on the weather. you two can lie on the ground and just watch the clouds as epel points at some of them and tells you what they remind him of. you don't have to say anything, if you don't want to. but epel still hopes that you will let him know if he's doing a good job. 

♡ you know what, he doesn't care what vil has planned for today. you're not feeling good? it's your day now. epel will literally figh his dorm leader if he has to. he just wants to spend this day with you, trying to cheer you up and nothing and nobody will stand in his way.. at least he hopes so. he's okay with doing anything you want. you don't feel like leaving your room? that's fine, he'll bring some snacks and you two can just chill while he's hugging you. you don't feel loved enough? he'll shower your whole face in kisses and will hug you as tight as he can. you don't have the energy to do anything? that's fine, stuff like that happens. just tell him if you need anything. 

♡ i imagine epel to be a very physically affectionate type of person when it comes to people he loves, so be ready for many hugs, cuddles and kisses. he just has so much love for you inside and he has to express it somehow, otherwise he'll.. uh, explode or something, haha. but seriously, he wants you to feel as safe and comfortable with him as he does when he's with you. with you, epel feels like he can actually be himself, like you won't judge him and you don't have any high expectations for him. so please, let him repay everything that you've done for him. no matter how tired, sick, sad or angry you are, he still wants to be with you and tell you that those feelings are valid.

you taking care of him:

♡ epel doesn't really like admitting that he's not doing good. i mean.. isn't talking about your feelings kind of.. like, won't he look weak- okay, okay, stop pinching his cheeks, he understands, feelings and emotions have no gender, he gets it. fine, he'll be more open about it.. but only if you hug him, give him a kiss and tell him that everything will be alright! also, give him a lot of compliments. he really needs them. tell him that he's strong, tell him that he's the best boyfriend you could ever wish for, tell him just how happy he makes you. even if those compliments don't sound that special, they mean the world to him. 

♡ every single word you say means so much to him. even if it's just you telling him that he did a good job, when he's with others, he will blush and politely thank you, and when it's just you two, he will tease you about it and ask you to do it again, but you have no idea how many times he will repeat those words in his head during the day and before he goes to sleep. and if you hug him, hold his hand or kiss him, it will be even harder for him to stop thinking about it. 

♡ if he's suddenly being clingy or asking for affection for (seemingly) no reason, you can take it as a sign that something is wrong. also take it as a sign to give epel what he needs. kiss him on the forehead. hold his hands as tight as you can. give him the warmest hug that you ever gave him. even if he pretends that he actually doesn't like it or that you're being way too affectionate, don't stop. don't listen to him. give him even more attention actually. and of course, asking him what happened is good too. let him talk. let him rant about how annoying vil is, how tired he is of pomefiore or just whatever is going on in his life. he'll thank you later.

lilia vanrouge.

him taking care of you:

♡ OHHHHH HE WILL TAKE CARE OF YOU. HE WILL. THIS IS A THREAT BTW. this man sees that you're not doing great and he asks you "what's wrong honey :( no, no, don't scream, this is just me-" as he's hanging from the ceiling as usual. if he sees that you're sick or just really, really tired, that's it, you will spend the whole day in your bed with as many blankets as you want. you have no choice. you need some warm tea/coffee/milk/anything else? he will bring it to you, just tell him. oh, he can also cook for you, if you want- oh, you're not hungry. oh. oh okay.

♡ but lilia really does make sure you don't waste your energy on things that he can help you with. if you don't feel like you can stand up to get something, just ask him for help and he will bring it to you. you actually don't even have to tell him anything. somehow he just knows what you need even if you don't say a word. he will fix your pillow if you don't feel like it's comfortable, he will bring you another blanket if you still feel cold and if you're sick, he will bring you the medicine you need. if you're having trouble falling asleep, he's always happy to sing you a lullaby and calm you down with his voice.

♡ if you say anything about feeling like a burden to him, he will stop you before you say anything else. he wants you to know that being able to take care of you makes him so happy because he can show you just how much he loves you and he can give you all the love you gave to him. you just can't be a burden to him because he loves helping you and he loves being there for you. you're not too much. and you're not too little. it doesn't matter how weak you think you are, because lilia will give you all the strength you need to go through the day simply because he loves you.

you taking care of him:

♡ you know that lilia's memory is not that good because of him being older than he looks, so you make sure to leave lots of notes for him in case he forgets something. and he appreciates it greatly. he loves seeing those notes because it's your handwriting!! he doesn't care how messy or how imperfect it is. it's yours and that's enough to make him happy. they're always so cute too! you also like to tease lilia about having to help him walk somewhere while calling him a grandpa and he laughs and plays along. you two literally look like the "sure grandma let's get you to bed" meme when you do that.

♡ on a more serious note, you also remind lilia that he really is a good father to silver. he's doing a great job actually. silver loves him just as much as lilia loves him, if not more. and lilia is a good person. why? well, he just has to take a look around. he just has to look at malleus, silver and sebek. lilia is an extremely important person to them and for a good reason. he plays such a big role in the diasomnia family and it's hard to imagine what could've happened to these boys if he wasn't there to guide them and support them. and he's doing the same thing for you now. and you feel loved and cared for when he's around. you're sure those boys feel the same way.

♡ you have so much love inside your heart and you will give it all to lilia if he needs it. if he feels like he's not good enough, if he feels like he's not doing enough, if he feels like he hasn't changed for the better, you will be there to tell him that he is so much better than he thinks he is. he has saved so many people, including you. maybe he's just so used to doing stuff like that that he doesn't even notice it and doesn't think too much about it. but lilia has changed so many people's lives. and you're here to change his life too. hopefully, for the better.

silver.

him taking care of you:

♡ silver loves you so much and he wants you to know that. even if he's slow, even if he falls asleep at the worst possible timing, even if he gets tired easily, he still wants to be able to protect you and help you with anything you need help with. just tell him or explain it to him and he will nod and immediately try his best to do it. he would do anything for you and he means it. maybe he's not that good with words and he's a little quiet, but he really will try so hard to express his feelings properly. if you're sick, he will get you anything you might need. if you're tired, he will help you with doing anything you don't have the energy to do yourself. he just wants to help you, please, let him do so.

♡ if he sees you falling asleep while doing something, he will gently carry you in his arms to your bed or the nearest couch and he will cover you with a blanket, making sure you don't get cold. he will softly get your hair out of your face and make sure you're comfortable before smiling at you (and not even noticing it) and sitting down somewhere so that he can watch you (not in a creepy way though! he just wants to make sure you're safe!). a-ah, he can fall asleep too though.. b-but he'll try his best to stay awake! he won't let anything bad happen to you, he promises. 

♡ please don't think that silver sees you as someone weak and fragile because he's so worried about your safety. he just loves you a lot and.. and he doesn't want to lose you. you're so precious and so important to him and he doesn't know how to express it and what to do with his feelings because they're so new to him, so.. just tell him if he's being annoying or too overprotective, okay? he respects your boundaries and if you think he's overstepping, let him know, he would never want to hurt you. 

you taking care of him:

♡ you don't find silver's sleepiness to be annoying at all. if anything, you'd say that it's kinda cute, but you totally understand why silver would worry so much because of it. you just want him to know that you still love him and that you would never hate him for falling asleep while you talk to him or anything like that. if silver has trouble waking up in the morning, you can just come to his room and wake him up if he wants, haha. o-oh, he would actually love that? okay then, you will be the first thing he sees in the morning from now on.

♡ if silver is blaming himself for his sleepiness and calling himself lazy, you will stop him before he says more bad stuff about himself. you can't just let your boyfriend do that. you know how hardworking, brave, strong and responsible silver is, there are just some things that he can't control and that's okay, that's normal, he just has to accept it no matter how painful, scary and frustrating that might be. if he needs to talk about it, you'll be there to listen. he always was there for you to listen to you talk about the things you love, talk about your day or just rant about stuff, now it's your turn to do the same for him.

♡ you're just as patient with silver as he is patient with you. and you know that even if he's a knight in training, he also needs and deserves to be protected. if you see anyone (subtly or not so) making fun of silver, you won't hesitate to call them out or even try to fight them. you also don't let people take advantage of him taking things a bit too literally and kind of living in his own world and being a more quiet and introverted person. this man is a knight, but he's still soft and gentle and deserves to be taken care of.

neige leblanche.

him taking care of you:

♡ this boy will do anything to make you happy!! he might have a busy schedule and he might have lots and lots of fans following him around everywhere, but you're still so, so important to him! just tell him what you need, okay? if you feel like you need more physical affection, he will give you as many hugs and kisses as you want. if you feel like you need some distraction from your problems, you two can go on a nice date to any place you want. or you can just leave the choice to neige if you don't know where you want to go! though he will still talk to you about it first, because even though making it a surprise sounds nice in theory, he still wants to make sure you're okay with it. and if you just need to spend some time with your boyfriend in silence, he will be more than happy to just sit with you while hugging you and not even saying anything. just being here with you is enough.

♡ if you're too tired and/or sleepy, he will get you the softest and warmest blanket and if you want, he can sing you something to help you fall asleep, again, just tell him. oh, he can also bring you a stuffed animal, if you want! if you want to cuddle, he's all for it too. he just wants you to feel safe and comfortable enough to fall asleep without any worries. even if you still have something to do, even if there's still too many dark thoughts in your head, neige just hopes he can help you forget about it at least for a moment. you getting rest is more important right now.

♡ neige would never let you think that his job is more important to him or that he loves his fans more than you. it's true, he really does love his fans no matter what and he's passionate about acting and modelling, but you are still that person that he cares about the most. there are so many things and people in this life that he loves, but to be honest, he'd probably be okay with losing some of them, but you are definitely not one of them. so let him express his love for you, okay? you deserve it. no matter how much you think you're not enough for neige, you deserve it.

you taking care of him:

♡ neige gives you so much love and affection, sometimes you feel like you don't give him enough of it back. so when you and neige can finally spend some time together, you give him as many hugs and kisses as you can and it's hard for you to let him go even for a moment. you just missed him so much.. the way you spend time together depends on how high neige's energy level is at the moment and yours as well. if it's been a long day of filming and no matter how much neige tries to hide it, his smile looks a little bit tired, you two can just spend the evening lying on the couch and talking about whatever comes to mind. and if both of you feel like it, you can try to bake something together or just dance together in your bedroom. 

♡ even if neige looks fine, you can still tell if something is bothering him and you encourage him to be more honest about it. he doesn't have to pretend that everything is fine, he doesn't have to smile all the time, at least he can be honest with you. you agree that neige is insanely talented and that he deserves all his popularity, but you love him not only for that, you love him for what kind of person he is. and he doesn't have to continue acting when it's just you two. so even if it's something small and not that serious, he can tell you. you two can just laugh about it later or actually try to solve that problem together. 

♡ if you find out that some fans of his have been acting weird in some way, like maybe they've been asking him if he has a s/o way too many times or even if they've been stalking him, you won't hesitate to do something about it. you will try to go and meet them in person, if you have to. you try not to let neige know about it because you don't want him to worry and because you know that he can be a little bit.. he forgives his fans too easily. you think him loving them so much is admirable, but also, you just really want him to be safe. you want to protect him. you know that some fans just.. don't know what privacy and personal space is. 

rollo flamme.

him taking care of you: 

♡ even if rollo may seem like a cold and emotionless person to some people, you know very well that it's not true at all and that he cares so much. if he sees that you're even a little bit tired, he will gently (but firmly) ask you to take a break. if you want, he can help you with whatever you're working on once he's free. as a student council president, he knows what it's like to have a lot of things to do and feel like you have to finish all of it as soon as you can, but it doesn't mean that he will let you overwork yourself. and if you're the opposite and you tend to procrastinate very often or you can be very forgetful, rollo will remind you that you have things to do and will try to motivate you to do them. most of the time it's just him saying that those things are important and you will most likely regret not doing them earlier- n-no, y/n, a kiss is not a proper way to motivate someone.

♡ rollo is not really good with words, it's true that he is good at things like public speaking and stuff like that or manipulating people into thinking that he's a totally normal person who is not planning to steal their magic but it's fine it's whatever, but when it comes to having actual genuine conversations, he is.. not sure what to do. however, if he notices that you're not doing good mentally, you can always tell him what's on your mind. he won't insist on it though and he thinks you should tell him about it only if you're comfortable with it. but if you do, you can trust him, he will listen to you very carefully and will never interrupt. 

♡ rollo isn't really the type to give you emotional support, but i also can't say that he's the member of the "would rather give you an advice/suggest ways to solve your problem" gang. he's more subtle about it. you know what? he'd rather solve your problem himself. or at least try to make it feel easier and not as overwhelming and tiring. you feel like your schedule is a mess and you don't have time to do anything? he will come up with different ways for you to organize everything and when you wake up, you will already have multiple different new schedules for you to choose from lying on your desk. wait, does that mean he has talked to the people who gave you so much work and- actually, maybe you shouldn't ask him that. someone has been too mean to you? well guess what, they'll be nothing but nice and polite to you now. oh, and if any magic user even tries to- okay. okay, sorry, y/n. sorry. 

you taking care of him:

♡ you honestly have no idea how rollo manages to do the student council work and take care of the belltower and its gargoyles and still pretend that everything is fine. no matter how much he tries to hide the fact that he's tired or claims that he's okay with it, you still ask him to take a break. and if he still insists that he has things to do.. man, and you were really hoping to take a nap with him while holding him and telling him that he's done well- oh? oh, he actually has some free time now? huh. interesting. well, what did you expect, this man is so touch-starved, it's insane. and it's also kinda cute to watch him try and pretend that he's not.

♡ you actually try to help rollo be more honest with his emotions. like, he has to be better than the overblot gang. and also.. it's probably for the best that we don't have another masquerade incident. so if you see that rollo is even a little bit annoyed, you still ask him what's wrong and even if he tries to cover his face expression with his handkerchief and says that it's nothing, you don't leave him alone until he confesses. and this isn't just about the negative emotions, if you see him try to hide his smile or his face that is becoming more red, you softly tell him to stop and look at you. you won't make fun of him and you won't think he's weird for expressing his emotions. you would love to see that side of him more often actually. 

♡ if rollo actually wants to talk to you about something that has been bothering him even without you noticing anything or asking him about it, you'd be so proud of him for opening up to you and you will try your best to listen to him and you will be as patient with him as possible. you know that he has a lot of problems and that his past was really sad and traumatic and even though you can't do anything to change his past, at least you can try to make the present better. if he wants to talk to you about his brother, if he wants to talk about his relationship with magic, if he wants to talk about anything, you'll be there, waiting for him. you won't leave him. you promise. 

[maniaxsworld]

Hey sorry to bother you but may I ask how is your day going also I saw your Vander post and I just love it so may I request an the kids of zaun (vi, claggor, Mylo and powder) with a mama reader platonic HC yes I'm calling her mama reader because why not and if you don't want to do this that's your choice and I understand it and I respect it also I just want those kids to have a good happy ending because they deserve so much love again sorry to bother you also what are your thoughts on my post.

Characters: Reader, Vander, Vi, Powder, Claggor and Mylo

Problem? This is my first request, and I'm very happy. Thank you so much. And I'm even happier because this request comes from someone who makes amazing fanfics. I've read several of your posts, and they're great. I love them! I also think they deserved a happy ending, I cried too much in chapter 3, when I discovered the alternate world I received some peace.

I hope you like it and Sorry if I didn't understand some words, I translate my stories from Spanish to English :'(

➤ Reader, the mother of four trouble-making children.

The Reader never imagined being a mother at a young age, much less being a mother to 4 children almost instantly. First it was Vi and Powder after that tragic day, then Claggor, abandoned on the streets from a young age, and finally, Mylo, whose parents had recently died.

She was scared; she thought many times about leaving everything behind, but the love she felt for them, for Vander, and for everything they had built together was greater.

Reader, is always there for all her children; she takes her time with each one and knows how to treat them. Between her, Vander, and the kids, she's the the balance between a fun and a strict upbringing. She's a firm believer that children need to go out and have fun for a while without causing trouble. If they have minor problems, she'll soften Vander's punishment towards the children, but if it's something very serious, she will obviously scold them for putting their lives in danger.

Every morning, she gets up early to make breakfast for everyone. Mylo likes oatmeal, Powder likes waffles, Claggor likes scrambled eggs, and Vi needs a full breakfast because she's so active she needs to eat more. She always remembers that.

She worries about them and tries to be present whenever they want to tell her a secret, or come to her to solve a problem or seek affection. She loves it when they want her to pamper them; when she hugs them, she feels so happy and at peace that she melts from all the love and tenderness they give her.

Every day, she reminds them how much she loves each of them and how proud she is of them. Many times, they find her thinking about how much the children have grown or looking at the drawings Powder makes, representing her as a simple line and Vander as a circle: "Is that how you see Vander and me?", reader asks, laughing, and pats her on the head. Then, magically, a new drawing appears hanging on the drink shelf; anyone who laughs at her baby's drawing will face a furious mother.

And speaking of furious mothers, she is one of them. She would give everything for her family, protecting them like a mother bear guards her cubs. No matter how formidable her opponent, anyone who wishes to experience her wrath only needs to mock her family.

Also, every night she reads them stories and tells them about all the mischief she and Vander got into when they were younger. Other times, she falls asleep with them or lets them into her and Vander's room in the middle of the night. The result? A Vander almost thrown off the bed and with muscle aches the next day: "I'm sorry, honey", she says.

Reader, truly loved her children; she gave up her dreams of having her own to care for those wonderful kids. She pampered them, told them how much she loved them, bought them gifts, and encouraged them to be better people. She took time out of her free time to be with them, go for walks, or do family activities. Everything was perfect. Even when they were sick, she never stopped caring for them, staying up late and waking up early to check on them. Vander would always tell her: "Love, come rest, you'll get sick too," and she would refuse, believing no one could take better care of her children than herself.

And the best part was when she got sick. She hated being sick, yes, but she loved how her whole family took care of her and worried about her. It just made her think that she was doing a very good job as a mother.

[osamdzai]

Birthday!

Characters: Dazai and the Armed Detective Agency members.

Synopsis: Dazai isn't used to celebrations for his birthday. Here he is though, celebrating his birthday with the other members of the agency.

Genre: Fluff.

Warnings: Mentions of alcohol for Yosano's part.

Word count: 704 (short oneshot)

Dazai was late, per usual. The agency members didn't seem to mind. Except for Kunikida, of course. Other than that, members expected him to be late.

He walked into the office an hour late, yawning. He only met darkness, though. This confused him. The lights were almost always on at a time like this. Every member should be here. He reached for the light switch, turning it on.

"Happy birthday, Dazai!" All the agency members said in union. Confetti poppers were used. Balloons were around the room.

Dazai's eyes widened. He's never had a birthday celebration. Kyoka went up to dazai, handing him a bunny stuffed animal.

"I like this. I have my own. You should have one too." She spoke in her usual monotonous tone.

Dazai took the bunny from her hands, holding it.

"My, thank you Kyoka."

"Mhm." She put her arms out for him to hug. Dazai smiled slightly, hugging Kyoka. He pat her head softly, ruffling her hair.

She let go and walked over to Atsushi, who gave her a thumbs up.

Yosano handed a bottle of sake to Dazai. "Figured you'd like some. I have bandages for you to, since you keep stealing from my office." She grinned.

He took the bottle, smiling back. "Thanks, Yosano."

Atsushi gave Dazai flowers, thanking Dazai for everything he's done. Dazai set allthe gifts on his desk.

Ranpo shared his candy with Dazai for the day. He rested his head on Dazai's shoulder as they sat on the agency's couch. They spoke about mysteries and cases as they ate candy.

Junichiro took him to the cafe below the agency, paying for him. They spoke for an hour, talking about their interests and hobbies.

Naomi went to an art museum with Dazai, they gazed at the art for a while. They found look alikes of themselves on paintings. Naomi laughed at some paintings. Her laughter is contagious, which eventually made Dazai laugh. People in the art museum glared at them. They laughed loudly and uncontrollably with each other. It took a long time for them to calm down, they almost got kicked out.

Kenji took Dazai to his farm. They went to Kenji's own field, watering the plants. They found flowers together. Kenji made Dazai a flower crown. Dazai wore the flower crown for the rest of the day. Kenji taught Dazai how to press the flowers to keep the flower crown for as long as he wants.

Kunikida hugged Dazai. Kunikida ran his hand through Dazai's hair as they hugged.

"I'm glad you're my partner. I'm proud you're here at the agency with us."

"Thank you, Kunikida."

Dazai hugged Kunikida back, his face against Kunikida's chest. They spoke for half an hour, Kunikida letting go eventually.

Haruno walked up to Dazai near the end of the day.

"The president wanted me to give you this gift. Thank you for working at the agency." She smiled softly, handing him a small box.

A hand written letter from Fukuzawa was in the box.

"Thank you, Dazai, for working at the agency. I commemorate your work. The agency has solved twice as many cases now that you're around, even with Ranpo. Unfortunately, I'm busy at this moment, so I must write this instead of saying this in person. Once I get back, I'll make sure to tell you in person about how proud I am. Have a great birthday." ~ Fukuzawa.

Dazai held the note, smiling. He had an amazing day.

"Thank you, Haruno. For giving me the letter."

"Of course, Dazai. Now, I have one more thing for you."

"Hm? What is it?"

Haruno walked with Dazai into the lunch room. Eventually, Atsushi walked into the room, holding a cake. He set the cake down onto a counter. Fukuzawa walked in after Atsushi.

"We went into the bakery." Fukuzawa patted Dazai's shoulder.

The agency members laughed and smiled throughout the rest of the day. They stayed around Dazai, eating cake and talking.

Dazai left the agency at night. He laid in bed, thinking about the day. He hugged the bunny stuffed animal. He curled up in bed, feeling soft. He loved today. He loved the agency. He felt comfortable and warm.

This was his new home.

Do not copy, translate, or repost my works anywhere else. I am only on Tumblr.

~osamdzai

[marchiveeee]

"Kiss me angrily" - AL ep. 1 Armin's POV

First of all, I want to thank @lycorispoison for giving me this idea and making me write something after a long time🥺🤧 And I have to thank beemoov too for giving me the drama I needed to feel alive again.

Miu gave me this idea when they mentioned how similar Armin's and Candy's story was to this song here: Jão - Me Beija Com Raiva. So I HIGHLY recommend you to read this piece while listening to it on repeat, it's a good song :)

I have to note that I made some small changes to the order of the lyrics so it could fit the plot well. And there are some changes on the dialogues too, but again, nothing much.

It's been a long time, guys!! I hope you like it 😭❤️

_______________________

De sonhadores a inimigos

from dreamers to haters

Você tá indo, vai me deixar aqui perdido 

you’re leaving, you'll leave me here lost

"You can be happy, then. That problem is solved." She had a frown on her face and the fire in her eyes would have surprised even Scott Summers, the Cyclops. She had her lips pressed together in a thin line and swallowed before continuing, "You're not a part of my life anymore."

The words came out of her mouth like a whip, breaking any kind of pride he'd been holding on to since he'd seen her, prettier than ever, some hours prior and after three long years apart. She might as well have slapped him right across his face, the effect would've been the same.

And the memories of that day, that damn day, came rushing to him. But he wouldn't show her any more of his vulnerability. 

"Whatever, I get it." He said looking at her one last time before looking away and landing his gaze on one of the products showcased in the store they had just been kicked out. And there was he thinking they were starting to make progress again. Just a few minutes ago, they were playing and bickering as they did in the old times. His left hand still felt the shock of when their hands touched for a second before everything came crumbling.

"Have you seen my brother? I don’t want to leave without saying goodbye."

"I-I am here…" he heard the voice he knew so well coming from somewhere behind him and turned around to see his brother with that face he has when he's blaming himself for something. Watery eyes looked between him and his ex-girlfriend and the muscles in his law moved as if he wanted to say something. 

“We were looking for you and…” The twin interrupted himself. “So… You’re leaving, that’s it?”

“Yeah, I gotta go home now, brother.” Armin walked toward the blue-haired man and gave him a pat on the shoulder before saying,  “I have some work to do. I got a text.” he hadn’t gotten any text. “I’m sorry, I have to go. I’ll see you tomorrow or the day after…”

“Okay,” Alexy said lowly nodding and hugging his twin.

Armin gave his quick goodbyes to Rosa and Candy, barely looking in the direction of the latter, and turned around heading to the escalators with his head down. He just wanted to get back home as soon as possible and play until his eyes begged for some rest. 

Armin walked at a fast pace along the corridors and was just halfway to where he wanted to get when he stopped in front of the game store. It wasn’t like him accepting a defeat so easily; leaving then would just make him a loser, he thought. So just like that, after taking a deep breath, he entered the store and went straight to the cheap side of the establishment where they displayed second-hand items.

Cê já contou pros seus amigos de nós? 

Have you told your friend about us?

No chão do quarto, com nossos vícios 

On the room's floor, with our vices 

Going through the titles of some comics absently, the memories came to him again. He would never understand how things between them changed so fastly when everything was going just perfectly in his eyes. Seeing some of the characters on the cover of the comics reminded him of all the times they would be together on the floor of his “cave” discussing their stories, playing games, watching superhero movies, talking, laughing, kissing... 

He loved seeing her face when she tried holding a laugh like she’d done a few moments ago, her lips curving barely curving upwards, and then giving up to his jokes. He loved to play with her hair, and loved when she played with his. He always complained about the way she played LoL, but he couldn’t be happier seeing her going crazy with the game. They were just so happy when they were together, so how did it end so fast?

É coisa pura, de tanto amar virou loucura  

it's something pure, going mad from loving so bad

De tantas brigas, amargura entre nós 

from all the fights, bitterness between us

He hated even the smallest hint of a fight and avoided it at all costs. So even if he would get jealous when seeing her with other guys, he trusted her, and he was happy for her because she seemed happy. And if he had had enough time, he would have been there for her to see her smile opening right in front of him in person, and not through a screen.

They did have some arguments once in a while because of that, but they weren’t so serious for him. He remembered Candy complaining about his absence, not much about his friend Agnes, but it was all going to be worth it after he managed to make the surprise. She would understand his side and they’d have their happily ever after ending. 

Errei, larguei, não nego, não

I made a mistake, gave up, no, I won't deny

Mas lembra do que eu disse, então

But remember what I said, then

Amar é muito melhor que ter razão

loving is much better than being right

Luta por mim, desiste, não

fight for me, don't give up

The problem is, all his plans never came true. All his dreams faded away as if they had been blipped by that damned phone call. How could she give up so easily on that bond they’ve created between them? How could she give up on their love? Together they were like Peter Parker and Mary Jane, Star-Lord and Gamora, Han Solo and Princess Leia, and now Bonnie and Clyde; they were meant to be together. 

Even after almost four years of being apart, he still strongly believed that. He’d had some casual things here and there, but he knew that none of them would ever be near to what he and Candy once had. Before her, he didn’t believe what people say about their first love, but now it was crystal clear to him; she was his first love, and let’s say that she really sat the bar up high to anyone else.

It started with them against the world until it became them against one another. But Armin wouldn’t give up, there was still a part of him that had faith, that told him to keep fighting for their love, that everything he’d done wasn’t for nothing. 

Call him stupid, but that hope that everything would be alright again was what made him decide to keep the money and add a small number of his payments to it every month; now he had enough to upgrade the surprise, he only had to unlock the next phase. But this one was proving to be the hardest so far, and his willpower was starting to go down. 

“Maybe it really would be better to go back home,” he told himself while turning around in the direction of the exit. 

He was about to leave the store when he came face to face with the one person whom he had been thinking about all this time. Her cheeks were red, and he knew that she was about to yell at him, but right now he was hurt and the last thing he wanted was to spend the rest of his stamina on the fight that surely would come if they decided to talk. Strangely enough, he was the one to open his mouth first.

Joga tua verdade toda na minha cara

spit out all your truth on my face

“Candy? What… What do you want now?” He furrowed. “So you do everything in your power to make me leave and now you're following me?" 

“What? This is a public space, right?” She raised he brows, her voice full of sarcasm.

"Creative, aren't you?" Armin said and started walking out of the store, he didn’t want an argument to start with and much less for everyone else to see it. Candy was fast to match his steps.

"You can't leave just like that! I deserve an explanation!"

"I already got it: I was lame, you were great and I don't deserve you," Armin said. He stopped in front of the elevators and pushed the button angrily before turning back to Candy.

"Can we move on or do you prefer to keep repeating this all day long?" 

"I think I could repeat that all week long without you being able to understand it."

Armin looked at the ceiling and let out a long sigh.

"Look, I'm sorry. Alex didn't tell me you would be here. If I'd known I wouldn't have come." Because I didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable, he finished mentally. 

She scoffed with an ironic laugh right when the lift doors opened. They gave space for the people who were inside to leave before entering and letting the doors close behind the two of them.

"You know, talking about your brother…” Armin gave a doubtful look at her, what was she going to say about him?

“We just had a little discussion. Actually, that’s why I followed you.” The man felt the air getting stuffier and tugged at the sleeve of his jacket. 

He cleaned his throat, fiddling with his hat. “Oh, really. And what did he say exactly?”

“He told me everything, how you lied to me this whole time. You weren’t honest with me." She accused.

"Lied to you?" Armin repeated incredulously. He'd never done such a thing. "What are you talking about? And what did Alexy tell you? That’s not how things went." He shook his head and saw the anger growing in her.

"I'm talking about how you ruined our relationship over a stupid surprise. How you preferred hiding everything just to save a trip to fucking Disneyland!" She had her fists tight as if she was holding herself not to point a finger or push him, and her voice got higher and higher after every word.

Okay, Armin thought, so now I also have a traitor of a brother. He decided to push this thought to the darkest place of his brain, where he could easily forget about it at least for the moment.

They got out of the elevator on the floor level and just a minute after they passed through the front doors of the mall and found themselves crossing the parking lot in the direction of the bus stop.

"I'm trying to talk to you! Will you stop walking for a second?" Candy exclaimed.

Armin then stopped and grabbed her by the arm lightly, pulling her toward a spot where they wouldn't be hit by a car.

“Alexy said everything you did, that you did it for me… Right now I’m just asking you for an honest explanation. Do you still know how to do it? ” He was starting to feel his blood boiling inside him too. “Why did you think it wasn’t necessary to tell me? Frankly, I would really like to hear your side of things.”

He looked at her straight in the eye, frowning.

“Yeah, I get it. So what do you want? A confession?”

“I want to know everything.”

So he told her everything. How he had done hours of house cleaning, how he had accepted rotten works ar fast food and even done gardening to save money. He told her how he would spend hours finding collectibles and looking for opportunities to resell them at a higher price so he could put the money he won aside. And how bad he had felt for charging his friend for his help on her cosplay costumes.

“There, I confessed everything, are you happy? Yes, I wanted to surprise you.” He licked his dried lips for talking too much. “Is that a crime?! Should I have told you everything from the start?! Don’t you think that would’ve ruined the surprise? All I wanted was to do something special for you…We were away from each other for only a few months. I didn't think you were going to dump me so soon.” 

There was a pause before he said, his head down, “And I don’t know. I thought it woulf be romantic…”

She opened her eyes wide, outraged, and seemed to hold back a chuckle but not like the way he missed seeing. “Romantic?! So?! Was it worth screwing everything up? We had something beautiful! We had a love story! Didn’t that matter at all to you? Wasn’t it a little more important than bringing me to Disneyland?”

“Hold on!” He felt the urge to interrupt. Hearing her talking like that about his plans was extremely frustrating for him. “Don’t act like it sucked either! Wouldn’t you have liked it? A week around Los Angeles, together?”

“I wish we had just two days together, anywhere.” She said shaking her head. “But that never happened! Excuse me if I got tired of waiting.”

“Again, we had only been apart for a few months. And you were able to come on your end! It allowed me to keep up the pace for Disney.” Armin didn't see where the problem was in all this. All this time, he had been thinking about them.

"Yes, that's the point! I traveled to see you only a few times and I had the impression I was the only one trying!" 

The only one? She must be kidding 

"I was exhausted! I worked my ass off trying to give us something special! But you didn't have the patience to wait! You didn't want to have it, so you just left me."

“But you didn’t even tell me what you were doing! Or why you did it! You left me in the dark and never told me anything!”

"I thought you trusted me! And that our relationship was solid enough! I'm sorry for thinking we had something serious…"

"But in a serious relationship, you talk to one another!"

"But they don't tell the surprises, that's literally the point! We don't talk about them!" 

He noticed the girl getting closer to him, but he didn't move. Proximity was never a problem to him when it came to her.

“I didn’t give a shit about this. I just wanted to see you and spend some time together!” Her voice had a small shift to it as if the walls around her heart were cracking, and the hurt was showing its way out. “And I wanted you to come to see me often too. I wanted us to spend some time together laughing, playing games, making love… And you were worried about making a long-term plan to take us to Los Angeles?! Sacrificing everything else for this?”

His jaw clenched and he leaned forward in her direction.They were so close now, their faces only a few centimeters apart. 

“This was important for me!” He argued. “I wanted to impress you, show that I was good enough!”

“But you were good enough!”

Como fodemos o maior amor do mundo? 

How did we fuck up the greatest love in the world?

 “But I knew nothing about all this, the only thing I knew is that you were never there for me. ”

For a moment, Armin broke their eye contact and looked down, maybe he was starting to understand. But he wasn’t going to drop it, he had a point and he wanted her to understand too.

“It’s only natural that I lost my trust in you, what else did you expect? How do you want a relationship to work if we don’t talk to each other?! Especially in a long-distance relationship? You didn’t give us any chance! When did you think that keeping secrets would bring us any good?” Candy stopped and for a second she just looked at him intensely with her brows furrowed. He didn’t say anything then but returned the look.

“I…” She took a long breath before continuing, “don’t even know what else to say. What you did doesn’t make sense!”

He wasn’t going to drop it.

“No, you have no right to say that!” he said, offended. “Yes, maybe I was awkward. It was my first relationship, we were both eighteen! I thought that a relationship, even if it was long-distance, must be something simple. It should be naturally pleasant for both people. And if it doesn’t work anymore, it doesn’t work anymore, that’s how it is.”

“But a real relationship is meant to be built together! With effort, and communication, above all! That doesn’t happen magically only because we were made for each other! And a romantic surprise doesn’t make up for months of absence!”

It was getting difficult for him to hold her gaze, without thinking he looked away and passed his hand through his hair.

“I am really sorry. I thought… I thought it would’ve been easier.” His voice sounded so low, that just then he realized how loudly they had been talking. It was crazy how no one had come to kick them out again, but this time not from a single store, but from the whole mall.

“That’s the first time I hear you wanting to play on easy mode.” Candy noted sarcastically. Her tone also had lowered.

“Hey! Dating you was no game for me!” How could she even think of that?

“So why did you make less of an effort, then?”

“You are being unfair! I made a lot of effort! A tremendous effort even!” Armin defended himself. “Do you think it was fun for me to accept all those difficult jobs? Buying stuff hoping I could resell it for twice the price. And asking a friend to pay me to help her?! Well, none of that was fun. I promise you!”

“In any case, you didn’t make the efforts I’d have liked you to make! The ones I needed!” She gave one more step closer to him, gasping a little bit. “You should’ve called more often. You should’ve taken more time to see me! And, most of all, you should have talked to me! Honestly, I didn’t think that would’ve been a problem in our relationship… For someone who’s so connected, you have to admit that communicating is not your forte.”

He opened his mouth to speak, but she didn’t let him. “ I just wanted you to be by my side!”

 He took her arm before talking. 

“You didn’t communicate very much yourself, I’ll have you know! That story you mentioned about the outings. I couldn’t have known that you absolutely wanted me to be there if you didn’t tell me.” He complained.

“I would’ve liked you to come on your own, to please me. And without me having to ask you!”

“But how could I have known!? Candy, I love Professor Xavier,” he smiled weakly, “but I don’t have his skills…” The girl shook her head, seeing disappointed about the comment

“You make beautiful speeches about communication, but in the end, you did the exact same.”

“But surely not on the same scale.” She pointed at him, “You were the one to ruin everything with your crummy plans and your ego. And I want you to recognize it.”

He looked around, caught off guard. “What would that change? There’s no one here to witness.”

“But I will know. I want you to say it.” She got even closer. “I want to hear you say clearly that you ruined everything between us.”

Her words were so harsh. He had never imagined having her talking to him in that tone. 

“I would never say such a thing…” Armin shook his head. “ We did have a beautiful story. But I wasn’t the only one to ruin it all. I wanted to make a surprise for you and I chose not to tell you. Maybe it was stupid, okay. But when you called to break up… I didn’t understand.” His voice was so low, and they were so close, close enough to feel each other’s heat and breath.

“But even then, you should’ve said something. You could’ve defended yourself and not let me break up!”

“You didn’t give me time for that! You blocked me everywhere right after you hanging up on me!” Armin reminded her. “I was already in shock, but that broke me. The message was very clear. Plus, it’s much easier to say what I should have done or not.” He felt his heart struggling in the tight space inside of his chest, he wondered if it was just him; that feeling wasn’t usual to him. “Maybe you should have…”

Mas antes de ir embora, eu te impeço, para

but before you go, I stop you, stop

Sei lá se esse é o nosso último segundo 

Who knows if this is our last second 

In a split second, he saw the rage in Candy’s eyes come back. She gave a step further and raised her arms, he braced himself for the push that was coming for him, but it never came. Instead of pushing him, her hands grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled.

Então me beija com raiva, me beija com raiva 

So kiss me angrily, kiss me angrily 

Me beija com raiva, me beija com raiva 

Kiss me angrily, kiss me angrily 

And in a split second, just like a dream, their lips touched. After so long, he felt her warm soft lips pressed against his, her eyes were tightly closed. 

He came to himself, finally reacting. That moment was real, definitely not a dream or an illusion, his heart was still racing in his chest, her heat against him, scorching. So, he too closed his eyes and kissed her back with the same force. His arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her even closer like he’d done so many times years before.

Their tongues met and the kiss deepened. It was fast, messy, and… angry. He didn’t understand his feelings at the moment, and he definitely didn’t want to.

They kissed angrily. Letting out all the hard feelings that had been trapped inside their chests for so long. 

They kissed angrily to make up for the years lost. 

It was like filling your lungs with air after drowning. He grabbed this moment and made the most out of it. So he kissed her back, angrily and deeply. 

They kissed angrily until they were out of breath, and dizzy. But it only took another look into each other’s eyes to make their lips connect one more time. And once again, they kissed angrily, as if the world was theirs and it was about to end. 

______________________

SOOOOOO, what do we think about Armin's ego deflating gradually as the story goes? It's def something for me

AND MY HEADCANON! Yes, I made Armin a sucker and had him save that money after all those years.... Call me romantic, okay? Although after writing it I thought it wouldn't be very nice to go on the vacation that made the relationship come to an end..... or maybe not, who knows.

Don't forget to leave comments!!! They always inspire me to keep writing 🥺💕

That's it for now. Love you guys, and I hope you have a great day!

[itsstrawberrymochi]

Hi, I love your content so I wanted to request something! Could you do headcanons with the hashira’s x gender neutral reader(- muchiro ofc) where they find out that the reader self-harms? If this makes you uncomfortable at all please delete it!

Kny pillars reacting to their s/o who self-harms

Awww thank you anonymous that means a lot to me hope you enjoy this also thx for reading my request rules when you said minus Muichiro ^^

Characters: all pillars expect Muichiro

Warnings: Mentions of self-harm and suicide

Note: if you or anyone you know is doing this activity please seek help with people you trust , it may seem that self harm is the best distraction but it’s really not, it’s only a temporary relief and you don’t deserve to always go through that pain ❤️

Giyuu

🌊- Now it took him a while to notice this

🌊- Don’t get him wrong, Giyuu loves you and all but he just assumed the injuries were from a demon after all that’s what you told him you had to no reason to lie right?

🌊- When he found out the truth he got extremely sad, he also got mad at himself for taking so long to notice

🌊- When he finds out he wouldn’t dare shout at you or make a scene out of it, instead he’ll calmly approach you and ask what’s the matter

🌊-If you don’t tell him right away he won’t pressure you to do so instead he’ll wait until you’re ready to talk

🌊- He’ll just sit next to you calmly in silence for hours and hours until you’re finally ready tell him

🌊- When you tell him the reason he would start to try and find a solution for the problem so you can feel better

🌊- He would also pull you in a soft hug and just let you cry on him while listening to you tell him what’s wrong

🌊- Giyuu would alway try his absolute best to make you feel better and he’s very serious about the cutting/harming and does everything in his power to try and make you stop

🌊- He’s extremely afraid that one day you’ll go beyond self-harming and he doesn’t want to lose you

Rengoku

🔥- A literal angel that was sent from heaven

🔥- Rengoku would immediately notice that you self-harm, he is extremely observant when it comes to you so he’d be quick to realize

🔥- Like Giyuu he wouldn’t pressure you to tell him what’s the matter but he’ll wait until you’re ready to say

🔥- Rengoku would make sure you know that it’s not you vs the problem but rather you and him vs the problem

🔥- He’ll make sure you know he’s there for you and whatever problem there is you don’t have to go through it alone

🔥-He also isn’t the type to give you words such as “ it’s ok this problem will pass” or “you’ll get over ”, but rather say “ Don’t worry my little flame we will find a solution to the problem no matter what”

🔥- If you’re feeling helpless or upset and feel like self-harming again he’ll drop everything he’s doing to talk to you and try and calm you down

🔥- Rengoku would allow you to talk to him whenever. He would never tell you to go away or say he’s too busy. He’d also let you talk to him for hours it doesn’t matter to him just as long as you feel better

🔥- There are often occasions where you would be laying on his lap and he’ll gently rub your back as you cry and rant to him

Shinobu

🦋- She’ll notice right away, she’s a medic so she can tell the difference between real injuries and self- inflicted ones

🦋- She would become heartbroken to know you were so sad you felt the only way to feel better was pain

🦋- She would make all the butterfly girls leave and go to another room so she can talk to you in private when she found out

🦋- Even though some scars are already healed she would kiss every single one of them

🦋- She does it because she wants to ‘kiss it better’

🦋- She would place bandages and medicine all over the new cuts so they can heal properly

🦋- She is very patient with you, she understands that you won’t stop your self-harm just like that so she’ll take her time talking to you and helping you get over it

🦋- She would alway check up on you and whenever she does she always has some tea or your favorite food ready to talk and listen to you

🦋- She always encourages you to tell her you’re true feelings and never makes you feel emotional or dramatic for it

🦋- If she knows she’s going on a really long mission and won’t see you for while she’ll ask Kanao or one of the butterfly girls to check up on you but if you don’t want them to know about it she would keep it private and she’ll just constantly send you letters instead

Mitsuri

💖- When she found out she talked to you as soon as she could

💖- She found out during a pillar meeting when your sleeve accidentally lifted up showing all the unnatural scars

💖- She had waited after the pillar meeting, when you two were in private to talk about it. She knew you clearly didn’t want anyone to know so she was sure no one was around

💖- When she asked you about it she couldn’t help but break down crying, Mitsuri would blame her self for your self-harming and feel like she did something wrong to you but you’ll explain to her that it wasn’t her fault but she’ll still cry because you were hurting all this time and she didn’t know.

💖- Her number one method of helping you heal is showing you lots and lots of love and care and showing you she is there for you

💖- So that basically means more sweets, more tea parties, hugs and kisses,more l love you, her complementing you all the time etc

💖- She had also bought you a bunny, so if she ever went on long missions you’ll always have “ someone” to talk to.

Sanemi

☁️- At first he would be kind of angry. Angry at himself for not noticing and angry at you for not telling him

☁️- Genya was the one who had told him , Genya being your worried younger brother in law couldn’t stand by and watch you do this to yourself

☁️- Sanemi’s first thought was to yell at you for doing it but then he thought you’d probably be afraid to talk to him about it if he did

☁️- He’ll burst in your room and yell “Y/N I KNOW YOU INTENTIONALLY HURT YOUR SELF”

☁️- You expecting him to yell about it prepared for more but when he reached you he just shoved your face into his chest and pulled you in for a soft hug

☁️- He’ll then say he was sorry you had to go through all this pain alone and sorry that he wasn’t there for you

☁️- He’ll allow you to cry on his shoulder for as long as you’d like

☁️- He wouldn’t care that you’re messing up his slayer uniform nor how long you’re crying for

☁️- While you’re crying he’ll reassure he is now and will forever be there for you and he’ll also reassure you and you can tell him anything

☁️- This wasn’t the only time he allowed you to cry on his shoulder,after the one time you cried he wouldn’t easily dismiss the matter but instead constantly bring it up to make sure you’re getting better

Obanai

🐍- He’s a very observation person especially when it comes to you so he’ll notice your self-harming rather quickly

🐍- He was very patient with you, so the first time he asked and you didn’t tell him he waited until you were ready, like Giyuu he didn’t force you to talk about it.

🐍- When you two did talk about it he never judged you or made you feel bad for doing it, he never called your self harming ‘ attention seeking’ or called you dramatic for doing it

🐍- instead he’ll empathize with you and try to understand why you’re doing it

🐍-Obanai is definitely not one to show physical affection, he rather shows he loves you through words of affirmation BUT If you ever need him to hold you or hug you he’d be more than glad to do it

🐍- He’ll alway hold on onto you and assure you he’ll try and help you solve the problem

🐍- You’ll also have Kaburamaru to be your support snake he’ll alway wraps hisself around you or rub his head on your check to try and make you feel better

🐍- Obanai always try his best to make you feel better and he will near you every second of the day he’s right next to you to because he wants to be a constant reminder that you’re not alone

Uzui

🔊- It was own of the wives that told him about it

🔊- Uzui would immediately blame himself he would think you were probably upset that he was giving one of his wives e attention than you

🔊- He’ll then immediately go to you and apologies for it but then you’ll explain to him that’s not the reason. He’ll then feel relieved but immediately worry knowing there’s something making his love sad

🔊- He is the type to not assume what would make you feel better but would ask you how he could help. He’d ask if you want to talk about it with him, if you wanna talk to someone else maybe one of the wives, if you wanna be left alone, if you want a support animal ( yes willing to get you a cat/dog/lizard etc to make you feel better 😌)

🔊- He would kindly ask for you to give him the weapons you use for self-harm, he refuses to do it by force because that’ll make matters worst, if you don’t give it to him the time he’ll constantly ask for always in a soft and calm voice

🔊- If you’re a slayer he’ll even go as far and take away your sword he’d only give it back if he’s sure someone else is going on a mission with you and they can watch you or if he’s going

🔊- He would also get all of his wives to separately talk to you and try to make you feel better

🔊- Uzui allows you to cry on his shoulder if you ever need it and he’ll gently pat your head or rub your back

Gyomei

🪨-He would cry as soon as he found out

🪨-Like Shinobu he would be extremely heartbroken and his heat would weep for you

🪨- He absolutely hates the fact that you hurt yourself and would always cry thinking about it or if he hears you did it again

🪨- If the reason you are cutting yourself is because you don’t feel like you are good enough he would remind you of all your good qualities and there are lot

🪨- He’ll also wrap his arms around you and cuddle you as you cry because he knows how much you love it

🪨- Gyomei, if you allow it likes to gently rub all your self-injury scars because he believes you deserve comfort for going through all that pain

🪨-He wound often call them battle scars he does it because he believes that you did in fact went through a battle with many problems and you won

🪨- He is very gentle and patient when it comes to your self-harming , when he speaks to you about it and gives you advice it’s always in a soft and calming voice and whenever you rant or cry about how you feel he’ll patiently wait there for hours and let you speak, he’ll only speak when he knows that you are done, he wouldn’t dare interrupt you

This was my first time writing Uzui and Gyomei hope I did good, also this was my longest ever request so I wouldn’t be surprised if it has grammar errors sorry for that 😭

[koushisatori]

if you can't believe in others, at least believe in us

kyoutani x gn!reader

genre: as ordered: a bit of angst w a touch of comfort

warnings: one (1) big jealous idiot, miscommunication

word count: 5.4k

note: this is smth an anon asked me to do (but like...nearly a year ago, I'm not sure if anon is still there or if they remember and my dumbass deleted the ask so I just beta-ed through whatever I had but I know they called me out on enjoying jealous characters so here we go) I'm sorry, mysterious anon, I'm stupid </3 Anyway, that's that. I don't remember if reader was supposed to be female or not so I made it gn!reader (but if I forgot to change something, pls tell me so I can fix any errors c: It's also my first attempt I apologize in advance)

In the beginning, you weren't sure why your boyfriend is ignoring you

You can't remember doing something that would annoy him, nor do you remember an instant of anger in his eyes that would give you a hint about his reasoning to stay away from you

He explained early on that sometimes he just needs a day of distance because Kentarou could feel the anger simmering right under the surface, enough that something small could tick him off already, and he would hate if you were on the receiving end of this unexplained fury

Both of you also made sure to promise each other to clearly communicate, the relationship between the two of you would not last long if you're not properly telling each other what might be bothering or hurting...just in general cross a boundary

Communication probably was one of the most important aspects of your relationship

cue to the actual situation: your boyfriend avoiding you

So, Monday evening you think maybe it's this overwhelming sensation of unexplained anger and that something at morning practice ticked him off completely

But then Tuesday comes and goes, and your boyfriend had avoided you all day long, did not even bother to read your messages,

on Wednesday, you try to talk to him, but all he does is glaring at you with a look that leaves you speechless and kind of heartbroken,

Thursday is the day you're replaying everything you did on Monday, trying to find something that he could have misunderstood, yet no matter how hard you think about it…your brain won't come up with a reason that explained why Kentarou was so upset with you!

So you decide to make him talk to you on Friday

Enough is enough, right? For gods' sake, he is your boyfriend! You miss him and his strong arms that give hugs so warm that you melt right into them

You don't get a second alone with him until school ends

you practically sprint out of the school building over to the gym, knowing that he had a free hour, which means that he is probably the first person there - your only chance

There he is, sitting with his back to you, aggressively chewing on a bun filled with chicken - his usual that reminded him of his favorite dish - glaring holes into the ground

After taking a deep breath to calm yourself, you carefully aks: ''Kentaro…Ken…?'', slowly stretching out your hand, wanting to rest it on his shoulder to maybe help to soothe him a bit

he flinches instead and his heated, agitated gaze meets your eyes, making you recoil in return

''…will you talk to me, I miss you…'' you say softly, realizing how it hurt being ignored by him

''Ah, suddenly you miss me…'' he spits, narrowing his eyes ''…didn't fucking seem like it the last time I saw you…''

''Kentaro, baby, I have no idea what you mean,'' you plead, keeping your voice low to hide the desperation lacing it, confusion written all over your features

all Kyoutani does is growl, hopping down from where he's sitting while shouldering his gym bag

''...shouldn't have been so flirty with Shittykawa like that then-'' he grumbles - ''Ken, I didn't-'' you insist, but he continues ''twirling your hair, batting your pretty eyelashes at him, fuck you Y/N, if you want him, then feel free to take a fucking leave" Kyoutani cusses, not even listening to you

You shake your head, ''Kentaro, no, you totally misunderstood the situation,'' you follow up, panic seeping into your voice now that you knew what he referred to, ''I love yo-''

''Tsk'', he moves to leave

you try to take his hand but, instead of turning around, Kyoutani just rips it away from you, tucking it into the pocket of his jacket

from behind you, you hear Yahaba and Oikawa approaching (talking about Volleyball and Captains duties)

once they guessed what must have happened, they offered you their help (they both swear that Kyoutani will never ever find a ''cute s/o as you are, y/n-chan, I'm worried for my little angry pomeranian kohai'' )

Usually, you would try to talk to him, but after enduring a week of radio silence and now this treatment, you were tired of upholding something that seemed like a lost cause

you just wave both setters off and leave the school grounds, a frown plastered onto your lips and tears swimming in your eyes

Kentarou had not listened to you, did not even really look at you, and the few seconds he did, his eyes were filled with rage instead of the warmth he had usually reserved for you (and only for you)

If your boyfriend thinks avoiding you for a week and blaming you for something ridiculous without hearing you out is how you handle a relationship…maybe you would have to consider not pursuing it any longer

Which is easier said than done

The whole night you wait for a message, anything, and then all Saturday morning

you still had hope left

You get one from Yahaba, who tells you that Oikawa tried to clear up the situation as well after the reason for your fight dawned on him (Kyoutanis piss poor mood and behavior towards him a strong indicator) but Kentaro, again, just ran off

The future team captain even called you after your lackluster answer, listening to you getting the frustration and sadness out of your system

It didn't matter, right? Your boyfriend decided to unofficially call it quits by implying that your feelings for him were not genuine instead of using his mouth to talk to you and disregarding everyone involved

as if he wanted to ignore the truth as a convenient excuse to get out of your relationship

that's the conclusion your brain came up with

You softly sniffle in the privacy of your room, clutching a pillow to your chest (which has seen more tears in the last two days than in the past three years), deciding that it would be a good idea to go into the city to treat yourself

knowing that your mother has a hair-dresser appointment somewhen today, you go and announce that you would join her to finally buy the latest season of your favorite series

once there, you additionally get microwave popcorn, chocolate, and ice cream, as well as a pretty shirt you saw on a mannequin while window shopping

you feel a lot better after spending some money and ignoring the lingering sadness of your presumable break up with Kyoutani (who you love ok, it is not that easy)

In between your stops, you meet Iwaizumi and Oikawa munching on fatty burgers (celebrating your cheat days like a holiday and indulging in whatever your heart desires, is what makes it easier to stick with healthier habits the rest of the time was the questionable explanation coming from the brown-haired setter, pointing at you with a soggy potato fry)

after a moment, the setters eyes turn sad, a frown replacing the smile on his lips

he wraps his fingers around your wrist to stop you from going just yet, apologizing for being the cause of your fight and for being unable to talk some sense into him

(you assure him that it is not his fault, knowing that your friend will probably brood over it otherwise, which wouldn't be fair)

Iwaizumi adds that Kyoutani will come around and that his cooldown time is just longer than those of other people (and if not, he will give him one of his famous volleyballs to the head and use his status as only truly respected senpai to talk some sense into him) but you again decline their suggestions

after saying goodbye (and seeing Iwaizumi give his best friend an assuring gentle pat on his shoulder, the secret softy in the usual harsh ace shining through)

If Kentaro was willing...able to throw away your relationship this easily, he can't possibly really love you, and you'd accept this even if it's hard and painful

Now remembered of what you had attempted to forget about, you feel your eyes sting with unshed tears (you thought there was no possibility of you having more tears to spill, yet the impossible seemed to be the case) you look down at your phone to text your mom and frown

Kentaro 🥰: we need to talk. Kentaro 🥰: meet me there [location]

For a second, you hesitate, biting your lower lip harshly…you really want to go and talk to him but…

The tears still sting in your eyes and blurring your view reminded you of what you had gone through the whole time, and that it was his turn to finally come to you

break up or makeup, the ball was in his court now

so while walking to where your mother would be waiting for you, you begin to type

You: No.

You: I waited for you all week, even though you ignored me, and now you expect me to run the moment you choose to stop being a childish idiot?

You: if you decide to speak to me then comqjdkn

Kentarou wouldn't say he feels particularly bad. Not at all! If someone was to ask him, he would probably answer fucking peachy, what the fuck are you asking for or growl angrily. No one would bat an eye and further question him, nor guess that maybe he wasn't as great as he pretended because he missed his gorgeous better half, but…it was his fault, wasn't it?

Of course, he originally thought he had a valid reason to be upset. And if he had just spoken to you about it, everything would be solved now. Instead of being a decent boyfriend, though, his pride overtook his thinking processes once he realized that his behavior wasn't even the slightest bit justified. Not that he knew this when he saw you speaking with Shittykawa right before school. All he could see was his gorgeous s/o shyly fiddling with her fingers, conversing with a leaned forward, very involved Oikawa Tooru. He would have fetched you away from the brown-haired setter. He had no qualms about showing his possessiveness. God, Kentarou wouldn't have hesitated to growl at the tall, brown-haired boy if not for the question he heard coming from the Captain.

''Y/N-chan, how is it that you, an adorable, charming individuum, is with a brute like Mad Dog-chan? I really-'' Well, that's where he decided to leave you with the setter. He didn't need to hear your answer. Didn't want to witness an excuse or maybe the truth. If both of you were so fucking smitten with each other to flirt this blatantly, why don't you just go and cheer for him, hold his hand, and kiss his cheek goodbye? It was his choice to distance himself.

Kyoutani couldn't help the feeling of betrayal and hurt washing over him. Maybe you just used him as a stepping stone to get closer with Oikawa, and Kyoutani has been too blind to see it. He never doubted you or your relationship before, but it's not a secret how eruptive Kyoutani could be. It has always been beyond his imagination how someone so cute and sweet like you could love a person like him. Your friends thought so. The teachers. The whole school! Everyone questioned your poor judgment. And when you came running up to him, you're cheery voice calling out for him, everyone present looked at you like you grew a second head. It's the reason why seeing you with Trashykawa ticked him off so bad. It catered to his biggest insecurities and fears. He knew that all those skeptics would be delighted to see you, everyone's darling, with the schools' star setter. They all would agree that the pretty, handsome young man is a better fit than the always hostile-looking troublemaker.

While Kyoutani didn't take Oikawa seriously in most cases, he undoubtedly was one of the most devoted people Kentarou had ever met. If Oikawa wanted to get a new serve right, he wouldn't stop trying and repeating it until his legs gave in, and Iwaizumi dragged him out of the gym. When he wanted to find more advanced players to practice with, so he could, in return, give this new knowledge to his team, there was no way he would not manage to make it happen. Even if his ideas, wishes, and plans cost him blood, sweat, and tears (like getting Kyoutani to actually train), Oikawa never backed down. Kentarou had heard that Oikawa's last girlfriend dumped him because of his passion for Volleyball. Yet Kyoutani couldn't help but think that, in you, the ambitious setter would have found someone that would be able to handle it. You usually came over to watch the team when you knew that Kyoutani was there to play. You sat on the stands with your homework in your lap and a Seijoh-coloured pencil wiggling between your fingers, not bothered by the noises coming from the court. You play with your earlobe while you frown at whatever problem you came across. You patiently wait for practice to finish. Kentarou was sure that you'd be someone Oikawa would actually try for. You weren't one of his squealing fangirls, hanging from his arm on every opportunity, but his friend. You didn't pester him to take selfies with you while pushing cute bentos into his hands. When you bring food to practice, then it's for the whole team to share. If he wanted you, Oikawa would probably have to win you over and make sure that you'd stay. Courting and all that jazz. In all seriousness, Shittykawa would be a fucking idiot if not.

The dyed-blond wing spiker had been so sure that he was rightfully mad that he didn't stop to think twice before he reacted this coldly towards you. But, and this made it even worse, Kentarou knew that he was wrong the moment you asked what happened after an entire week of enduring his silent treatment. The second he heard your shaky voice and saw the tears welling up in your eyes, his brain rebooted, and suddenly he wasn't so sure of his own reasoning. You two were together for about half a year. Kyoutani - by now - was confident in his ability to identify most of your expressions. All he could decipher in your eyes was pain, paired with a need to understand, but…if he was in the wrong…it would mean that he had hurt you the whole week, which in conclusion implied that Kentarou had been the world's shittiest boyfriend. Fuck, he thought, I don't deserve y/n.

His situation didn't get any better the moment Oikawa entered the gym. The person Kyoutani thought he had a real reason to despise now tried to mend the rift between the two of you.

''Mad Dog-chan, I think you misunderstood something there. Well, no, you decided to not listen-'' The taller male says, hands gesturing wildly. While his voice still had that annoyingly cheery tone, it had something commanding hidden underneath. And oh, how Kentarou hated when someone demanded something of him, even if it was for his own good. ''Don't want to hear it.'' the blond mutters, already aggravated. The brown-haired setter resolutely puts himself in the way again. ''Oh, but you have to! That morning, Y/N-chan literally declared her love for yo-'' - ''I don't fucking care.'' Kentarou barks, not looking Oikawa in the eyes.

After another fruitless attempt to get properly into the gym, he growls and turns to leave. Already on his way to grab his stuff and take a leave, he hears Oikawa yelling. ''You answered and justified why I asked Y/N-chan to begin with!" And then louder, even though he could make out Iwaizumi trying to wrestle his childhood friend back into the gym, "APOLOGIZE, YOU IDIOT! YOU BETTER GROVEL FOR Y/N'S FORGIVENESS! THEY DESERVE BETTER THAN THIS SHOW YOU'RE PUTTING ON, AND YOU KNOW IT!"

This happened on Friday evening, and the guilt was gnawing away on him ever since. On his way home, Kyoutani had automatically taken the detour to your house. Kentarou enjoyed bringing you home (and more often than not, you pulled him inside with you, making him cuddle you!). It makes him feel like a good boyfriend, and he knew that you arrived there safely. He would never tell anybody and deny it if you ever decided to share this, but Kentarou relished in the feeling of your hand holding his all the way while going on about your day. He admired that you'd pet every cat and every dog you meet on the trip home together with him. You were perfect for him…why again did he act like this?

What caused Kyoutani's attempt to apologize - in his usual overly blunt and partly aggressive kind of way - was Yahaba, though. Both boys denied being remotely something beyond 'not really enemies'. But his future team captain was definitely one of the very few people that could and would tell him to his face that he fucked up without real repercussions. He would presumably even help Kyoutani to get it together.

After Yahaba had called you and listened to your heartbreaking rant, the setter realized that you, his friend, and his 'not really enemy' needed to talk ut out. Totally immersed in your tirade, you accidentally let slip that you couldn't endure Kyoutani's treatment any longer. That being pushed over by your boyfriend with brash and hurtful words after handling the cold shoulder was too much. That you expected Kyoutani to break up with you on Monday either way. In-person, if he had mercy on you or continue his treatment as a silent method of doing so. While you told Yahaba about your planned ''get over it-self-care'' weekend (involving tons of ice cream, movies with crying guarantee, lots of blankets, and no smartphone), the setter had already put on his jacket, shooting a message to Kyoutani.

From Yahaba: get your stupid fucking ass outside to meet me, or I'll bench you the complete season next year

Even though the wing spiker was sure that Yahaba's words were nothing but empty words, Kentarou allowed himself to accept this threat as an excuse to put his pride aside. Because, even though Yahaba annoyed him to no end - not as bad as Oikawa but still - Kentarou was also aware that you and he were friends. If someone could help him gaining your forgiveness, Kyoutani had to accept and admit that it was Yahaba. Meeting his light brown-haired teammate was kind of awkward. Kyoutani was unsure what he had to expect, though he should have seen the rough treatment coming. Yet, getting told that you, the person Kentarou was undeniably in love with, felt so neglected and hurt that you deemed this relationship to be as good as over allowed the guilt monster in his chest to grow. Shitty Oikawa was probably right ordering him to grovel and beg on his knees for you to even hear him out.

Your answer to his message was partly unlike you. Well, the last sentence. You usually were pretty forward with him to avoid miscommunication and uncalled-for moping around. And while you sometimes send keyboard smashes to express the chaos you felt, they were always in a separate message and not so…random. The text definitely meant something like ''then come to me'' but somehow, Kyoutani had an uneasy feeling about the whole thing.

Besides, he couldn't just wait till Monday and hope that you'd accept his apology! You may send him away today already, but he still had a teeny-tiny bit of hope. If he let the thoughts of him leaving you or the other way around fester in your mind for two whole days, though,…you'd probably realize that leaving him wasn't that bad of a decision. You'd come to the conclusion that all your admirers could treat you better than Kyoutani did. And he was too selfish to let you leave. Even though all he did the whole week was being self-centered and stuck up, he would be damned to begin being a saint now and let you go. That you at least were willing to talk to him was…a relief, to say the least. Kentarou hoped that this translated to you being willing to put up with him a little longer if he apologized correctly. That you're not opposed to giving him another chance to make things right.

At your house, he was greeted with darkness. Not even a single light illuminating any of the rooms he could see from his spot on your front lawn. And the ones he saw were your and your mom's most-used rooms. Your room window, your mothers' workroom, and the living room area with an adjacent kitchen. All of those rather significant rooms and the lack of light in them seemed to be a dead giveaway for Kyoutani that no one was home. Kyoutani guessed that you were probably out with your mom, glancing over to the empty spot in front of the garage.

Oh god, your mother had been the only supportive person of your relationship. Maybe it's in your family to see the best in everyone, even in shitty people like him. But if you told her about his behavior, she'd most likely not welcome him with a smile ever again, no matter if you forgave him.

There weren't many things Kyoutani could do in this situation, but it wasn't as late as nature let it on, and after a few seconds, he had decided to sit down at the front door and wait for you, hoping that it wouldn't take too long for you to come home. As if fate wanted to tell him something, the wing spiker had put on the jacket with the half-full power bank. He had worn it to the shelter when he visited it this week while distracting himself from your absence in his daily life. You had gifted him the piece of clothing, which is probably why he unconsciously had decided to wear it to everything he did after school in the first place.

Kentarou passed the time by snarling at people eyeing him for a moment too long to not be judgmental, petting the neighbors' cat wandering over to him, and watching videos. Every time he thought ''Y/N would like this'', his heart stuttered guilty.

To Kentarou, it felt like an eternity until your mother's car finally drove up the entry. To avoid your mother's potentially deadly stare, he nervously checked his mobile, realizing that he had waited for a little more than 3 hours. Yet, the wait had done nothing to soothe his nerves. They instantly spiked up again while his heart threatened to jump out of his throat.

She will hate me. Your mother would hate me, she'll hate me, she'll ha-

''Ah, Ken-chan! Good evening.'' Your mother greets him with a tired, yet still gentle smile. Oh. The blond blanches. He'd never admit it, but he enjoyed the treatment he received from your mother more than he should. Being spoken to without suspicion and receiving a warm smile every time without fail was a welcome change to his daily life. Your mother didn't listen to people trying to bad-mouth him. To her, he simply was the boy that - normally - treats her child the way a mother wished for. Even if he pulled a face as long as a fiddle.

''I didn't know you were coming, Ken-chan, or I would have messaged you…but now that you're here, maybe you can assist us out and help Y/N inside? It would help a lot.'' His gaze immediately flitted over to you on the passenger seat. With your arms crossed in front of your chest and that stubborn but endearingly cute pout on your lips, he nearly missed the tiredness your body emitted. Kentarou wanted to rush over to your side immediately but was stopped by your mother again. ''I don't know what you two are fighting about…but please talk to each other. I don't want my baby to be this sad. Especially now, and…'' she rests a hand on his shoulder, her eyes kind and comforting ''…I also don't want to miss you here, alright?'' He stiffly nodded and watched your mother carrying in plastic bags filled with various medicine packages and food.

After coming back to his senses, Kyoutani finally stumbled over to your side, practically ripping open the car door. This new perspective revealed a plaster cast wrapping your whole left leg and a removable wrist brace on your right hand. ''Bab- Y/N…what the fuck…happened?'' His honey-brown eyes continued to wander over your injuries, and with every second, he found more. Scratches and scrapes, bandaids and bandages peeking out from underneath your clothes. ''I'm so sorry,'' he whispered, hanging his head low.

All your intentions to fight his helping hand and limp over to the door by yourself disintegrated into nothing. You never witnessed such a devastated, beaten expression on his face before. Instead, you settle for ''Will you help me?''. A question asked quietly to your fingers picking at a loose band-aid edge on your arm and pressing it back onto the irritated skin.

After you loosened your seatbelt, he waits for you to carefully place your arms around his neck. It is followed by Kyoutani lifting you out of the car so gently as if he was afraid you might break. This whole situation in itself already contradicting his brash appearance and usual behavior. It would give whiplash to all the people pretending to know him. But he was always caring in his own way when it came to you. It's why you loved him after all. Because you usually knew that he loved you, too.

For a few moments, the atmosphere between the two of you felt awkwardly tense, both of you unsure how to interact with each other. The mostly blonde wing spiker breathed out a sigh of relief when you fully leaned into his chest once he stood upright, resting your head against his shoulder. A bit of maneuvering through the front door eventually lead to Kyoutani passing through the hallway and taking you to your room, where he was gently lowering you down on the bed.

It was a now or never kind of situation. For the both of you. While Kentarou was trying to find out where to begin his apology, he took a few steps back in case you wanted space until everything was cleared up.

You unconsciously helped him making a decision by impulsively grasping onto his shirt the moment he started to withdraw, stopping him in his retreating movement. Kentarou saw your lower lips wobbling, teary eyes looking up at him pleadingly.

''Please stay,'' you say weakly, which is enough for him to throw the whole thinking process away and simply sit down next to you, intertwining both your hands. ''I'm staying. I'm not leaving. Not now nor this relationship if you still want...an ''us''. The wing spiker took a deep, shuttering breath. '' I'm sorry, Y/N…'' he finally manages to say, honey eyes locked onto your linked your hands. ''I have been fucking stupid all week. 've been a fucking terrible boyfriend, the worst to ever exist.''

As if to encourage him...to show your boyfriend that his apology was not for nothing, you shuffled around until the last bit of distance between the two of you was closed. You hum, acknowledging his words while leaning your head on his shoulder.

''I didn't think you're cheating or something, …'' Kyoutani immediately assures you. There was no way he would allow you to think that he would accuse you of something like this. ''I had no reason to be jealous, but I was insecure. Let it get the best of me. Despite our promise to communicate, I was sulking. 't was easier. I'll do whatever the fuck you want for you to not give up yet…'' he says, taking his time with every sentence.

With a sigh, you squeeze his hand. ''It will probably take a lot of cuddling and attention from you...'' you say thoughtfully ''...but I forgive you…if you promise to not do this again…'' you murmur, tilting your head upward to press a chaste kiss to his jaw. ''Otherwise, I'll accept Iwaizumi-san's offer to get your thinking process restarted.'' For a moment, your voice had its usual joking edge. But you knew talking out everything was necessary. ''But, in all honesty, 'Tarou....please, never do this again. I am honest. I will not endure this a second time. When you tell me that you need a day or two for yourself then that is totally fine. If you feel yourself giving into whatever insecurity, talk to me about it. I am sure there will be an explanation or a solution but don't leave me in the dark. Don't treat me like that. I love you. Only you and no one else. But the time love can withstand straight-up ignorance by your partner is limited.''

Slowly, your boyfriend nodded, squeezing your hand to tell you that he understood. You would probably cling to him for a while but were sure that he would survive the extra closeness. Not even half a second later, his head leans onto yours cautiously.

''…and try being nicer to Oikawa-san, Tarou, he hasn't done anything to you.'' You add humorously before small giggles started to erupt from your lips. ''Also...Baby…'' you start, being interrupted by choked-up hiccups and giggles. By using your nickname for him, you take away another persistent fear of his. What he does not miss, however, is how you wince in pain before you continue, ''…who helped you put this into words? I mean…I loved it, but…,'' You leave unsaid that words usually are not his strong fort.

Biting back a smile, he frowns, huffs, and puffs…, but the way you are looking up at him, eyes shining with relief and adoration, allows him to admit defeat. He sighs ''…it's how Yahaba said I should say it…'' It usually would be an odd enough statement to make you throw yourself all over him with laugher. As a slight replacement, you squeeze his hand a bit, still shaking with suppressed laughter. ''I promise…that I will talk to you. Can't promise the Shittykawa part.'' Another soft chuckle leaves your lips before you look up at him again. ''I hope you try nonetheless. You should not let Iwaizumi-san hear you calling Oikawa-san that, though, I don't think this would turn out well for you…so...maybe stop this at least.'' Kentarou rolls his eyes at you, but in the end, he nods.

You wait for another second to clearly distinguish the two topics before you continue. ''…Thank you…for coming and finally speaking with me instead of break-'' A hand on your lips muffles your words.

''Don't say these words. I'd never break up with you,'' Kentarou grumbles, a light, uncharacteristic light pink settling on his cheeks. You stick your tongue out, which leads to him taking his hand off of your face with a surprised noise, rather dumbfounded that you had licked his hand. It gives you the chance to lean up and finally press your lips against his. ''I'm not leaving you either,'' you murmur, feeling his lips twitch upwards slightly. You decide to leave the teasing for another day.

Moving back into your previous position was enough of a hassle to hiss in pain. It brought back Kyoutani's awareness of the second problem at hand. ''What did happen to you?'' Kyoutani asks in an attempt to tamper down the excited, happy beating of his heart.

''Oh, this...uh, when I answered your text, I got driven over by a dude on a bicycle,'' you casually drop. It was kind of entertaining to watch his expressions change at an unequaled pace while processing your words. In the end, it settled into something akin to passive-aggressive worry. The way he was immediately fretting over you while cursing and cussing out the bicycle dude was his own way of caring. As you watch him retrieving the food your mother bought, while mumbling about how you're a dumbass for not paying attention to your surroundings, how he'd come over every day until you could go to school again to bring and teach you the stuff you would miss and how he would fucking murder the bicycle idiot if he ever finds out who dared to drive you over, you can't help the smile forming on your lips.

Once again, you are proven that loving him - while occasionally troublesome and demanding - was everything but wrong.

[mersuperwholocked-lowlife]

Just Like You

Word Count: 1,228

Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester (mentioned), John Winchester, Reader

Pairings: Dean Winchester x Sister!Reader

Warnings: angst, death, small fluff

A/N: ---

Masterlist

“Do you have your crayons?” Dean bent down next to you, while you nodded quickly.

“I don’t wanna go to school, I wanna stay with you,” you looked up at him.

“You need to go to school, (Y/N/N). I’ll be here once you’re done with the day,” Dean said.

“Will you stay with me, please?” you begged. You mustered up the best puppy dog face you could, learning from Sam.

You turned five, calling you to do something you deeply dreaded, starting school. 

“I can’t stay with you, kiddo,” your eyes watered slightly, not wanting to leave your older brother.

“Hey, look at me,” he put his hands on your shoulders before wiping your tears.

“Be strong, kiddo. You can do this. I had to go to school all by myself too,” Dean raised an eyebrow.

“You did?” you asked softly.

“Mhm, it’s the first step in becoming a strong, smart person. So, are you gonna go?” he asked.

You nodded your head as he pat your back.

“Great, now let’s go,” he smiled softly, while you held his finger.

It was no secret that Dean wasn't only your big brother, he was basically your dad. John was never around, and you were something as a surprise to the three Winchester boys. That didn't stop them from taking you in and taking care of you. Dean always stayed with you and always protected you. 

You admired your big brother deeply, always wanting to be just like him. He knew the way to get you to do anything was to say that he did it too. 

He led you to your classroom, giving you one more hug before you ran off, running to your new classroom.

---

You ran into the hospital, your eyes watering as your heart was aching. You could hear John yelling at you to stop.

“Hi there, kid. Do you need some help?” you saw a nurse bent down, looking at you slightly worried.

“Where’s De?” you asked softly.

“Who? Kid, do you have a parent or something?” she asked.

“(Y/N),” John ran to you, holding you tightly.

“You need to calm down, right now,” his voice was low and threatening as he walked you to Dean’s room.

“De!” you pushed away from John, running to Dean’s bedside in an instant.

“What the hell did I just tell you? He needs to rest,” John pulled you away from Dean, while you fought back.

“No, I wanna stay with Dean!” you cried.

“Stop acting up!” John gripped your arm tightly as you winced.

“Dad, you’re hurting me,” you tried to pull away from him but his grip only got tighter.

“We’re going back to the hotel room. You’re being an embarrassment,” John barked at you.

“Let her go, now,” Dean was fully awake, sitting up in his bed while you and John looked at him in shock.

While John was distracted, you ran back to Dean, while he grunted, picking you up.

You wrapped your small body around him tightly.

“I’m okay, kiddo, I’m not going anywhere, I’m right here.”

---

“I don't get what the big deal is,” you looked at the passing cars through the window.

“You don’t get… you could've died, (Y/N)!” Dean yelled at you.

“You’re being overdramatic,” you shrugged.

“No! We had a deal, (Y/N). You were allowed to come with me if you stayed in the hotel like you were supposed to. And not sneak off on your own,” Dean continued to scold you.

“Why does it matter, Dean?! I solved the case and I didn't get hurt!” you yelled back.

“I get you’re acting out because you think we’re not paying attention but I am! I know what’s best for you,” he was clearly frustrated, his knuckles going white as he gripped onto the steering wheel.

“You hunted when you were younger than me. I’m ready to hunt, Dean,” your voice was lower than before.

“You’re not ready to hunt,” he replied.

“When will you stop telling me what to do? I’m old enough to take care of myself-” 

“Stop talking. Just… don’t (Y/N). I can’t deal with your stupid teenage angsty crap,” your eyes watered slightly as the car went quiet.

You continued to stare at the trees passing by, taking your focus away from your anger and hurt towards Dean.

---

“You wanted to be just like me. What the hell happened to you?” Dean stood across from you in the bunker.

Your skin was paler, your eyes were red.

You ran away from the bunker, ran away from Dean. You would have made it on your own if Jody hadn't caught you, and immediately called Dean.

“I don’t know what you want me to say,” you shook your head.

“I don’t want you to say anything! I want the truth!” Dean tried to keep his voice calm.

You continued staying silent, at a loss of words.

“(Y/N), I swear to god if you don't open your fucking mouth,” you took a deep breath.

“You can’t control me anymore. I’m old enough to leave,” you said.

He scoffed, crossing his arms.

“You're being overdramatic,” he scoffed.

“Almost everyone else in our lives is dead. Being here is just a constant reminder of that fact. Every time you stop me, I’ll just leave again, and there’s nothing you can do about it.” you crossed your arms, while Dean clenched his jaw, standing in front of you in silence.

He walked away, without saying another word as you let out a shaky breath, putting your head in your hands before running your fingers through your hair.

You grabbed your bag once more, leaving the bunker, this time for good.

---

Dean had his arm on your shoulder, while you were slumping down, weakened. You could barely walk yourself as Dean pulled you up.

“Keep your eyes open, kiddo,” Dean grunted.

You collapsed onto the floor, groaning softly.

“Shit, I-I’m sorry. Come on, let me help you up,” Dean said. His hands were shaking as he tried to lift you up.

“Dean… stop,” your tears fell down your cheek.

Blood seeped out of your wound quickly, your breathing was shaky.

“We can still save you-” he started.

“I-I’m sorry for leaving all those… I shouldn’t have left you,” you cried softly.

“It’s my fault for telling you to leave. I wasn’t thinking straight. Come on, (Y/N), you can’t die,” Dean felt a tear fall down his face before moving you slightly while you cried out.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you cry before,” you tried to laugh, before coughing.

He applied pressure to your wound, while you cried out softly. 

“I’m sorry,” he apologized.

You could feel your life fading away as you let out a shaky breath, reaching for Dean’s hand.

“Thank you for everything,” you said softly.

“(Y/N),” he stroked your cheek softly, knowing there was no way to save you. He shut his eyes, taking a deep breath.

“It’s cold,” he clenched his jaw, before pressing a kiss to your forehead.

“Yeah, I know,” he shook his head.

You closed your eyes, your body going limp. Dean kept his eyes shut, holding in his cries while he held you tightly. He took care of you for as long as he could remember, and now you died in his arms.

[rcksmith]

Geniuses — Five Hargreeves

Request: “Hi! I am just the annon that recently sent the request 3,11,16 and 22. You asked what I wanted, I forgot to put that I got them from the “fluff” prompt list. I am so sorry!! And don’t worry! It’s not your fault I didn’t see the list 😂😂 but thank you so much! I really like your fics and your writing style so much! 🥺🥺💖💖”

Fluff prompts:

3“You’re staring again.”

11. “Wow- you look…amazing.”

16. “I love you. You enormously stubborn pain in the ass.” 16. “I heard that!” 1 .“You were supposed to!”

22. “well the probability of that is 0, but you go ahead”

A/N: We not tolerate any pedophilia here !!

I write about Five with their 20s. I write the same about the characters of Harry Potter.

Haha love, it’s okay💖💖 i hope you like, because I really like to writing tis. Thank you for resquest. Love u❤️

English is not my first language, so I so sorry if have a mistake.

Requests are open. Love you ❤️

Couple: Five Hargreeves/Fem! Reader.

Warnings: nothing, just bad words and fluff.

(gif not mine)

— — — — —

It was fun to think that Five never had an equal opponent, someone as smart, canny, sarcastic and ironic as he. Five Hargreeves was always used to being the smartest person in the room, always being the one with the quickest response on the tip of his tongue.

And, well, it was fun to think that it all went up in the air when you showed up.

You were cruelly intelligent, able to correct errors in Five's math equations, sarcastic and always had a cheeky smile on your face. You weren't used to being underneath, which is why when Five wanted to show that he was better than you, well, you wouldn't give up.

But unlike the time traveler, you didn't have super powers, you weren't extraordinary, you didn't have any skills, but that didn't stop you from being equal to him in every other way.

Whenever Five wanted to come out on top with the argument that he had powers and you didn’t, you raised an eyebrow, looked at him as if he had made a basic math mistake, and said: “I don’t need powers, I’m a genius, you should try to be one too.” And it made him furious, and, truth be told, you just liked to tease him too.

But just as the two of you had personality differences, the ability to handle emotions and people well was different from Five. You were kind, funny and wanted to make people comfortable around you. Being a genius didn't mean you shouldn't be a nice person, and Five usually forgot about it.

As you and Five spent more time together, it became clear that you two were no longer able to stay away from each other. Five liked (secretly) to have someone to really talk to. Someone that understood and followed his line of reasoning, that understood the equations he did, and that considered him a genius instead of crazy with some reasoning.

Being with you was like, for Five, meeting another human being in a dog-only world, and when he kind of told you that in other words, you laughed out loud and said: “Or how to find an equal sign in an equation.” And that's when he felt his heart pounding for you.

Five remembered when you beat him in chess for the first time, no one had ever done it before, and he agreed to play with the full awareness that he was going to win again. Well, that is not what happened.

When you checkmate his king, Five was stunned. He leaned over the board, looking at the pieces as if they had created a head. And you laughed, leaned back in your chair in a victorious smile.

“This is impossible.”

“it's actually just intelligence, why don't you use it now and then?” You were kidding, it was obvious, you couldn't stand hurting people and Five knew it. The dynamics of the two of you who were exchanging barbs.

“You must have stolen or something, this is very much your style” He returned, eyes on you as you laughed “Let's play again and I will give you a the most brutal defeat.”

“Well the probability of that is 0, but you go ahead” You accepted, first because you wanted to show that you would beat him as many times as possible, and second because there was nothing you liked more than spending time with Five.

The matches started, and you won every time. And when the sunset and the breeze was cold, you and Five looked at each other, with the peach rays of the sun illuminating their faces, and the mutual smile they gave out sweetly.

He were really enjoy the game and you knew that, and he knew you not just want the victory. You two know Just more matches would make you spend more time together. And... Five didn't remember if anyone ever really engaged in a game just to want to be around him.

But things really got more real and serious when Vayna asked you to go to one of her violin performances too. And, well, you wore a long, red dress, firm in all the right places, and Five couldn't get his eyes off you just one second.

It was as if, when he saw you, all the equations in his life had been solved. And a single thought rang in his mind: “I want her”

And the certainty of that was absolute. He wanted you as an overwhelming force, which shook his whole body. He needed you like needed oxygen. And there was no way to deny that anymore.

But it all happened in a fraction of a second, and you had just chosen that moment to approach him and ask:

“So, how am I look? Are you going to make a little joke about berries or something?” You laughed.

But Five could think of nothing but that if there were the personification of sin and perfection, it would be you. He looked at you as a whole, a fucking beautiful woman with a fucking brilliant mind. You are incredible and he had no other adjectives for you.

“Wow- you look… amazing.” You felt all the intensity and truth in that sentence, and your heart pounded in your chest.

For, truth be revealed, you had dressed up for him. Because wanted him to think you were beautiful. Because you thinking him were a young God with all the vigor and beauty.

Five really wanted to focus on anything but you. Not In the swing of your body, in the outline of your lips, in how he wanted to put you out of that dress. He really tried. But his eyes were always drawn to you at the end of the effort, as if you were the only thing worth seeing.

“You’re staring again.” Luther whispered in his right ear, while Five kept his eyes on you for a moment that seemed to him seconds, but to Luther it was hours.

But who could blame him? You looked like a mirage, too beautiful to be true. And Five wanted to record every detail of it in memory.

“Take care of your life!” He replied, taking his eyes off you.

After that night, Five already knew that he could no longer keep his hands off you. He couldn't just look at you anymore when the hunger to touch you started to hurt physically. As soon as you got back to the mansion, he grabbed you by the wrist, in a strong, firm grip, and pulled you with him as he climbed the stairs towards his own room.

Five needed you. A kiss, a caress, a body-to-body contact, anything, he just needed it. And it had to be now, he not wait for you to go home and come back later, he couldn't wait days...damn it! He couldn't wait seconds!

Then he knocked and locked the door behind you when you entered the his room.

“What the hell?” You rubbed your wrist that he must not have measured how much firmly him hold you “You're acting like a nut and I thin ...”

But Five didn't give you time to continue. He couldn't give you time. He could not explain something that for him was still a mess. So he showed you.

Five came to you in big, determined steps, and he fit your face in his hands before tilting and sticking his lips to yours. And then the world seemed to make sense for the first time.

Everything was suspended. The people, the rotation of the earth, the wind, the noise of the streets. Everything went into a black hole and was no longer important. The only thing that really mattered was you. And Five kissed you until the oxygen was strictly necessary.

“I have been waiting for this for some time.” You confessed, and Five blew out a low laugh, answering you with another kiss that ended up taking you to a bed and messy sheets.

After that night, Five became more attached to you, and the relationship grew stronger over the weeks.

“You know this is wrong, right?” You said as you took a look at the equations he had made that afternoon.

Five looked at you with a frown, irritation in his eyes, but you were trying to contain your laughter.

“You have nothing else to do no?”

“Besides seeing your accounts wrong? No.” You had fun, taking one of the white chalk Five was using and erasing an equation from it, redoing it in the right way.

You could feel his gaze on your back, but you did your best not to laugh and return the chalk complacently.

“Now it's right.”

Five looked at the account you redid, and gave you an expression of so few friends that you couldn't control your laughter anymore.

And his expression closed even more. You shook your head and were already on your way to the door when when you heard him mumbling:

“I love you. You enormously stubborn pain in the ass.”

Then you laughed even harder and turned to Five, who had been doing his math again on the walls of his room.

“I heard that!”

“You were supposed to!” He countered without even waiting a second, and then you came back towards him, the laughter still present in your voice, your eyes full of play and love.

You put your arms behind his waist, still with the remnants of laughter coming from yours lips, and leaned your head against his broad back.

Five felt and heard your laughter, and then controlled himself not to laugh too, before giving yours hands that were hugging his waist a few gentle pats.

“You are unbearable.” You mumbled, but full of love overflowing with the words “But I love you.”

Then Five laugh came and he exchanged pats for an affectionate affection on yours hand, signaling that he also found you unbearable, but that he loves you.

[dreamingaboutreid]

Hospital Bed Confessions: Chapter 7

*Continuation*

*Flash-forward*

Spencer was truly in awe. It had been 8 months since you joined the BAU.

Hotch seemed much happier with no more mountains of paperwork on his desk. All the files were neatly filed in Y/N’s office and his workload was greatly alleviated. He also had someone to confide to and understand a little bit of the pressure he had been experiencing.

Emily loved having a fellow Chesapeake Bay alumnus. With JJ being on mom-duty, Emily had a friend to go out with after she returned to the team, and they seemed to have plethora of things to talk about and relate to. He often heard them discussing their love of Kilgore Trout or favorite traveling destination.

Penelope was ecstatic to have another affectionate and loving member on the team. Y/N spent a lot of time with Garcia on deciding cases and it was evident how much they cherished each other. Y/N often brought in colorful collectibles and helped Penelope arrange them in her office.

Rossi respected Y/N’s focused yet good-natured character. They shared stories of their time in the military, which they rarely disclosed with the other members. He thought of Y/N as a daughter and took pleasure in sharing his knowledge of cars and whiskey.

JJ treated Y/N like a sister. It was obvious how similar they were. Both attentive and considerate with remarkable people skills. Y/N also became JJ’s go-to babysitter as JJ full heartedly trusted her with kids, which was a huge compliment coming from JJ.

Derek enjoyed Y/N’s company, who had a surprising knowledge of football, and would often make fun bets on what team would win the next game. He would also come to you for solid advice when he needed someone to level with him.

Not to mention, everyone was thrilled to go home at least an hour earlier normal, thanks to your fast but thorough write-ups you continued to do every day on behalf of the team.

For Spencer, you were a whole new world. He not only appreciated you as a hardworking member but as a new best friend.

You never interrupted him and seemed genuinely invested in whatever he said. Whether it was a new book he was reading or a new foreign film that came out. You truly made him feel heard and cared for. After he told you about Maeve, it felt like something was taken off his shoulder. Like you knew his pain and rather than only feeling sorry for him, they shared it together.

He also truly admired your ability to talk to people. Whether it was a serial killer who was holding a gun to someone’s head or a sobbing parent who had just lost a child or even an abrasive detective they had to work with, you just knew exactly what to say.

Spencer couldn’t place a flaw in you. The way you smiled, talked, listened, walked, ate, slept, heck everything, seemed so perfect to him.

When Blake came to his apartment to say her farewell, he was devastated. Another person was walking out of his life. But for the first time, he didn’t wallow up in his apartment by himself, blaming his eidetic memory for repeating all their conversations in his head or contemplating then shutting down his mental debate on taking dilaudid.

He didn’t hesitate to dial your number, and you appeared in front of his door in a matter of minutes. You had the ability to listen to his problems and somehow make them go away, or at least make him feel better.

While he always appreciated it, it bothered Spencer after a while how you never came to him when you wanted to feel better. You managed to carry all that weight without yourself ever breaking.

But he realized that it wasn’t anything personal. You just never showed much emotions to anyone, except for happy ones.

Spencer remembered when Derek asked you one day,

“How come you never come to us when you’re feeling down? There’s no way you’re always a ray of sunshine. Even baby girl has her emotional breakdowns.”

You had quickly brushed it off and said, “I’d rather make people smile than worry or cry.”

And it was the end of that.

Spencer often thought about this. Derek made a very good point. You were human after all.

But he knew that there was something much darker in you.

While you didn’t voice your emotions, your eyes told a different story.

When you were interrogating unsubs, your eyes became cold but your words remained calm and almost soothing, as if you were luring them out their lies to know their true intentions. When you were talking to victims or victims’ families, your eyes showed sympathy and it comforted whoever you were consoling when explaining that the unit was doing our best. And when you were talking to the ones you loved and cared about, you allowed your eyes to relax but there was a twinkle that he couldn’t keep his own eyes off of.

He hoped that you would open up to him, like he had to you.

But, it wasn’t too long until his wish was answered and he witnessed something that changed everything.

Y/N’s POV

You were exhausted.

It wasn’t the workload or rigor your job came with.

It was the emotional tole. You learned how to compartmentalize your feelings well from losing the ones you loved from experience.

But this job was different from talking to soldiers or serial killers. You were talking to normal people. You had unconsciously put your guard down and the emotions hit you little by little.

Every day, you walked in to deciding which cases to solve and you walked out hoping it was the right one to choose. The extra work you were doing actually helped keep your mind out of all the feelings and reality and helped focus your energy on something tangible.

You weren’t sure what came over you that day, but you had been on edge the whole jet ride back from a case. When everyone arrived back to the office, it wasn’t just you who was drained.

“Everyone go home early and get some ready. You deserve it. But report back tomorrow at 9 to finish your statements,” stated Hotch.

“I think I’ll stay back. Finish some of the paperwork,” you stated with a weak smile.

Hotch looked at you reluctantly.

“Are you sure? Everyone’s worn out. It’s okay to go,” Hotch said.

“It must be all the coffee,” you joked lamely, hoping Hotch took the excuse.

Hotch didn’t seem to notice as it was quite normal for you to stay late.

“Alright. Well, everyone thank Y/N on the way out and report back tomorrow at 10,” Hotch said as patted you on the back as he exited.

“Thanks for the extra hour of sleep,” Rossi stated as he walked towards the elevator.

“You’re an actual lifesaver,” Morgan commented.

As everyone said their respective greetings and left, you quickly ran up to JJ.

“Hey, JJ. Can I ask you a favor?” you asked.

“Of course! I owe you anyways,” JJ said.

“Do you mind if you give Spencer a ride home? Usually I take him, but I don’t want him to wait for me and he seems pretty tired,” you stated.

While you truly loved the arrangement you had with Spencer, you needed some space right now.

“Sounds like a plan. Just tell him I’ll be waiting in the car,” JJ said as she grabbed her belonging.

You thanked her and gave her a quick hug.

You turned and found Spencer already reading a book by his desk. Even though you thought Spencer always looked handsome, you had to admit that he did look tired.

“Hey, Spence. I think I’m going to stay a little late today.”

“Yeah, I heard you telling Hotch. I don’t mind waiting,” he said.

It must have been the pent up emotions you had been suppressing as you could feel your eyes slightly tearing up. You quickly forced them away, praying Spencer didn’t catch on. No matter how many times Spencer displayed his kindness and patience, you always appreciated his small acts of compassion.

“No, no. You must be exhausted. I asked JJ to take you home, and she’s waiting in her car for you. Seriously, get some rest,” you reassured Spencer.

After a bit of reluctancy, Spencer replied,

“Okay, I probably shouldn’t keep JJ waiting for too long. Thanks, Y/N. Don’t stay too late.”

You simply nodded and you watched Spencer walk away while looking back.

You waved, indicating that it was okay to leave.

After he finally left, it was just you, all alone. You turned off the lights in the pit, making it pitch dark, and walked into your office.

Closing your door and only turning on the light on your desk, you went to the corner of the room and sank down as you burst into tears.

It wasn’t the first time you had a breakdown. But it was always behind closed door. In the bathtub in your house. In the comfort of your bed. At the safety of your house. But today, you couldn’t hold it until you went home.

As you wept, you hoped the tears you released would somehow erase the remorse you felt. You sobbed without anything holding you back until you felt a looming presence over your crouched figure.

“Oh my gosh, Spencer. You startled me, I didn’t notice you were here,” you quickly said as you tried to wipe away the evidence of your momentary vulnerability. You didn’t need a mirror to know that it was an unsuccessful attempt.

“Sorry, I saw the light in your office and thought you’d be in here.”

“Did you forget something?” you asked, puzzled by his unexpected return.

“No, I just didn’t want you to be all alone so I told JJ that she could just go home,” Spencer said softly.

He continued, “I also saw you were a bit uneasy earlier.”

So Spencer hadnoticed.

“In fact, it seemed like you were stressed the whole day. Are you okay?” he asked.

You weren’t sure if it was the display of Spencer’s empathy again or the fact that he recognized something was bothering you when you were able to hide it from a group of profilers, but you felt the tears reappearing again and you didn’t want to hold back.

You broke into sobs for the second time that day and slowly slid back into the position you were originally in.

Spencer didn’t hesitate to join you as he sat and put a tight protective arm around you while he just let you cry.

“Am I making the right decisions? Who am I to choose who dies or lives? What if….” you trailed as you muffled all your worries into his chest.

For the first in a long time, you felt safe in the arms of someone else. You didn’t have to, or heck, want to hide yourself anymore. When Spencer held your hand, you knew.

You looked up to see the most understanding eyes, and you knew right then and there that you had found your person.

[sailorhyunjinz]

~ 𝕋𝕒𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕡𝕚𝕔𝕥𝕦𝕣𝕖𝕤 𝕠𝕗 𝕪𝕠𝕦 ~

Part II

© sailorhyunjinz 2021; Rights Reserved

All picture rights to their respective owners.

ℂ𝕠𝕟𝕥𝕖𝕟𝕥: Photographer!Hyunjin x fem!model!reader, model!bestfriend!Felix, barista!Seungmin, agedup!straykids, fluff, character driven story, stranger to lovers, summer!au, mentions of death/passing away, mentions of injury, slight angst, mentions of self doubt, mentions of bad economy. 

𝕎𝕠𝕣𝕕 𝕔𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕥: 4.6 k 

ℕ𝕠𝕥𝕖: lmao if anyone is wondering why the cafe is open at night; it actually exists! most commonly found in korea but hey this fic doesnt have a set place so just imagine that it’s a cafe that works 24/7 ALRIGHTY? 

If you have any feedback I’m more than happy to receive it! <3

Taking pictures of you - MASTERLIST

ONE｜TWO｜THREE

“What do you think this means? Why does he want to contact me?”

You anxiously paced around the living room, Felix sitting on the small grey sofa, his soft brown eyes going from left to right, following your distressed figure.

“Maybe he just wanted to talk to you directly, make it feel more personal you know?”

Felix sounded unsure of his own answer as he tilted his head questioningly, his gaze still glued on you.

“But why does he want to know me personally? Does he do this with every model?” You bit your lip as you thought, stopping hastly before running to the kitchen and grabbing the water bottle from the day of the photoshoot. 

“y/n! What are you even...” Felix abruptly halted his sentence before widening his eyes at your intentions.

“Surely you’re not actually gonna call him?” he asked in surprise.

“I should at least find out what his motive is! I can’t just ignore the poor boy can I?” you held the water bottle tightly in your hand, removing the plastic wrapper with the number scribbled on and observed his delicate handwriting.

“He seems...strange, to say the least. He rarely talks to people during events and is only ever interested in anything that involves his work.” 

Felix knew since he himself was a model. The two of you met during a casting in the earlier years of your career, both being youthful teenagers with dreams and slightly puffy cheeks, babyfat that eventually got away and revealed your hidden features. The day of the casting Felix injured his foot causing him to fall when walking in front of the hawk-eyed judges. Your heart ached when you saw his desperate figure on the cold floor, he was just like everyone else in that frigid casting room, just a youngster with a dream. You passed the audition, smiling as you accepted a blue clipboard with papers from the judges, feeling everyone’s eyes drilling into your back with jealousy. Moments later, after night had fallen over the big city, you found Felix hunched over a small step of stairs meant for the fire escape. 

“H-hey,,,uhm, are you fine?”

You hestitated speaking to the quivering boy, his hands covering his face as tears dripped of his chin. 

“W-what do you care?!” he spat towards you, his attitude making you want to leave but you felt to guilty to do that, after all he was simply upset and not actually mad. 

You inched closer to his cowered body and sat down next to him on the hard stone steps. You looked at him in guilt. You had passed the audition but how were you any better than him? Softly, you put your hand on his shoulder, patting it a couple of times and letting the dark haired boy cry out, his sobs echoing in the dark stairway. He leaned into your touch and you ended up hugging him in silence for what seemed like hours. 

Times change and here he is. Signed to a highly respectable agency and catching flights left to right. Nothing more made you prouder than knowing that he didn’t give up on his dream.

“Felix! He’s not strange... maybe he’s just shy?” you tried to defend Hyunjin but realised how defensive you got over somebody you barely knew.

“Shy? In this line of work?” he furrowed his eyebrows, glancing at the white wrapper in your hands. “I’m not sure...what if he’s interested in you in that way?”

Your heart almost jumped out of your chest upon hearing Felix’s words. 

“You mean r-romantically?” you cleared your throat, feeling butterflies in the depths of your stomach. 

“Well...that will never happen, don’t wanna ruin your career, right y/n?”

Your gaze fell onto the white wrapper in your hand as your heart started beating faster. 

“R-right y/n?” He coughed as you grabbed your phone and started typing in the digits, glancing over at the wrapper and pressing accordingly. 

“Y/n, are you crazy? What if he actually has romatic interests in you? That could ruin both of your careers especially since he’s a world famous photographer that has every girl wrapped around his finger because of his looks.” Felix spoke bitterly, looking at your phone screen and then back at you with heightened eyebrows. 

“I’ll guess I’ll have to find out, Felix” 

“Ok but do that after I leave, I don’t want to hear you talk about him anymore and also be careful. You never know whats brewing on the inside in people like him” he said while rolling his eyes.

“What you wanna eat then bestie?” you laughed as you threw your phone onto the couch and made your way to the pantry. 

♡ 

Hours later Felix was waveing at your from the other of the door, you waved back at the freckled boy, smiling at him. 

“Be careful with that dude!” he yelled as he walked down to the flight of stairs, his voice echoing in the old apartment complex. 

“I will, mom!” you laughed at his cute consideration before shutting the heavy door. 

Silence broke out once the door shut, leaving you alone in the apartment yet again. You dragged your feet on the light laminated floor, making your way to the couch where your phone was buried underneath a multitude of pillows. 

“Where did I put that number”. You searched for it, finding your phone and the wrapper wedged between two seat cushions. Sitting down, you landed with a thump on the soft couch, the blue light from your phone emitting onto your face as you typed in the number yet again. A big lump was situated in your throat, your hands shaking as you sent a message to the number. 

[y/n] Hi! It’s y/n, it was a pleasure working with you. 

You stared at the message you sent before cursing to yourself. 

“Why the fuck did I write that? He’s gonna think that I’m some sort of weirdo, can I ever do anything ri-”

A pling from your phone erupted in the living room, catching you off guard. It’s probably not him, why would he reply so fast?

You were wrong, it was him.

[Hyunjin] Hello! It’s Hyunjin, hope you weren’t too surprised at me leaving my number. I’m just happy that you decided to reply. 

You gulped as you typed. It didn’t seem like he’d ever done something like this before. 

[y/n] No, not at all! Did the pictures turn out well?

[Hyunjin] Oh, you haven’t seen them? 

[y/n] My manager usually shows them on the date of the release...

[Hyunjin] How about this, we meet up and I’ll show you the pictures beforehand. We’ll keep it a secret from your company. 

M-meet up? This soon? A million thoughts passed through your mind in an instant, your mind zoning out while your eyes were glued on the well-lit screen that displayed the messages. You were curious about the photos but also about him. Wanting to know more about the blond boy and his abrupt ways you replied back, fingers shaking while moving over the keyboard.

[y/n] Sure, when and where?

You didn’t have any work to do anyways so why not solve the mystery called Hwang Hyunjin?

[Hyunjin] 2 PM, tomorrow

An adress was attached to the message which led to cafe you used to work at, not to far from your place. You placed your phone beside you and looked up at the white ceiling, sighing heavily. Maybe Felix was right, it’s strange to meet someone you’ve only met once, especially since he’s met countless of models just like you if not even better. The thoughts consumed too much of your energy and you ended up falling asleep on the couch, chest heaving peacefully. 

♡ 

The sudden vibration of your phone woke you up, the sun shining through the window as you grabbed your phone, light straining your eyes. 

[Felix] I’m 100% sure that you messaged that dude, right?

You laughed before typing through squinting eyes, laying down on your back.

[y/n] What if I did? 

[Felix] You’re insane 

[y/n] That’s my charm, Lixie~

Putting the phone away you slowly sat up, looking around the sunlit living room as if you’d never seen it before. Rubbing your weary eyes, you yawned before thinking ‘breakfast!’

Without even taking one step to the kitchen your phone vibrated once again. You lifted your eyebrow at the signal but ignored it for the time being, thinking that’s it’s Felix pestering you about your desicion to talk to Hyunjin. After you made a bowl of porridge and quickly washed up in the bathroom you grabbed the phone, wanting to scroll through your socials but what you saw on your home screen made the spoon of porridge that was on it’s way towards your mouth stop.

[Hyunjin] Slept well?

You’ve met him once and he’s already asking such a question? But something made you believe that this isn’t how he normally is. He’s hiding a type of shyness underneath those bold messages and actions. This Hyunjin isn’t the one that you’ve been described, this is a different Hyunjin. 

Your mind was blank. What do you even reply to that? In search for answers you texted Felix, knowing he wouldn’t give you a good answer but at least some emotional support. 

[y/n] Lixie, what does one reply to the question “Slept well?”

[Felix] You don’t, you pack up your things and you leave.

[y/n] You dickhead

[Felix] That’s my charm y/n~

If you could punch someone through the screen you would punch Felix. Returning back to the message that Hyunjin sent you, you quickly typed something down and sent it. 

[y/n] Yeah, fine! Everything well with you?

[Hyunjin] Yes, it’s fine. See you later then, y/n

The porridge infront of you had cooled down, now being a sloppy mess of oats with a spoon slowly sinking into the substance. You stared at the message before your gaze returned to the breakfast bowl. This wasn’t going to be an easy day. 

♡ 

The clock ticked as your stomach was filling up with butterflies, one by one. 

“This is a casual meeting not a date, y/n” you mumbled as you tapped your foot, standing infront of the multiple racks of clothing in your slightly stuffy walk-in closet. You rarely wore even half of the clothes. Most of the pieces were sent by companies or given to you after photoshoots, this being both a blessing and a curse. 

Your hand gravitated towards a white blouse with puffy sleeves because it reminded you of him. You shook your head wanting to get the thought out of your head. You hated that you cared so much about him but at the same time you knew why. Because he ignited a feeling of longing. A feeling called love. 

Snatching the blouse from it’s hanger you digged through your drawers and fished up a pair of beige colored wide pants. You glanced at the brown watch on your wrist as you stepped into the pants, pulling off your pyjama top in one swift motion before putting on the flowy blouse. You looked in the mirror, combing through your hair with your fingers and reaching for a pair of pearl earrings that rested in a small tray infront of the mirror. Turning around, you observed the shelf that displayed the dozens of shoes in your possession, all while tilting your head and putting on the small pearls. Varnished heels would be good, right? Stretching out your arm to grab the heels, your gaze feel on your watch. As usual, you were going to be late and you hoped with every bit of your mind that Hyunjin wouldn’t find you rude. With the heels on you grabbed your purse, throwing in your keys that were decorated with keychains off all shapes and sizes as you staggered out the door. 

The breeze hit your face as you made your way down the street, the heels clicked against the broad stone sidewalk making both women and men turn their heads. Lucky for you, Hyunjin chose the cafe where you happened to know somebody working at. 

That somebody being your friend Seungmin. 

You see, when you were just starting your career money was an issue. Your family wasn’t well off and when you set out to find your calling in the big city without a stable job your family was worried to say the least. You moved into a small apartment that more looked like a mouse burrow than an apartment. Holding a bag of trash you went down to the lobby of the apartment complex, the trashcan reeking as you lifted the lid and quickly threw in the bag, bending your spine backwards with a disgusted look on your face. Walking back you accidentally knocked down a paper that was resting on a corkboard by just how fast you walked passed. The light yellow paper landed infront of your feet, halting your movements. You picked it up.

« Searching for barista assistent »

The pay wasn’t too bad and neither were the working hours and so you folded the paper and went back into the apartment, smiling as you thought that this was the moment when everything changed. 

And it did. Seungmin became one of your first friends in the city, right after Felix came into your life. You have very fond memories of that cafe. Working late nights with Seungmin, drinking coffee to stay awake through the late hours. 

“What’s your dream, y/n?” Seungmin asked on one of the first days, still not knowing who you were and what your goals in this big city was.

“I-i want to become a model” you muttered underneath your breath, scared that he was going to belittle you and crush your dreams into nothing but fine powder.

“I believe in you, y/n” he said in a low voice, wiping the counter, not making eye contact as you stood on the other side. 

Silence overtook the empty cafe, the low humming of cars on the road being the only noise that was heard before you cleared your throat, looking down at your shoes and leaning against the counter.

“Thank you Seungmin, that means a lot” you said before the silence took over again. 

You swore you could’ve cried right then and there. Hearing those words when being in such a vulnerable situation really did mean a lot to you. His words stuck with you and in every interview where the interviewer asked about what you want to tell to aspiring models you always said those words. “I believe in you.”

The neon pink open sign in the window was brightly lit, the silhouette of people sipping on their lattes and chatting could be seen from the outside of the reminiscent building that was covered in hops. You stepped in, your heels making a loud clicking noise on the dark walnut colored wood flooring.

“How can I hel- y/n!!” Seungmin looked up at you, standing infront of the espresso machine as steam was billowing out. The other co-workers gave you a glance before returning to their tasks. 

“y/n! I haven’t seen you in so long, how are you?” he asked, you had contact on the phone but didn’t meet each other too much due to different schedules. 

“Minnie! I’ve missed you!” you squealed out as he walked through the low wooden gate that seperated the working area from the rest of the cafe. Seungmin pulled you into a hug, warmness emitting onto you as your bodies touched. 

“I’ve been good!” you continue, smiling as you pulled away from the hug seeing Seungmins waist defined by the strings of the apron wrapping around him, a kitchen towel hanging from his shoulder. 

“But I have to tell you something, Seungmin” you say quietly making the dark haired boy tilt his head in question. 

“I’m meeting Hwang Hyunjin here in about 5″ you say with a smirk, knowing Seungmin would be jealous.

“Wait,,, the Hwang Hyunjin?!” he said a bit too loudly, alerting the customers before he turned to them with a embarrassed smile, bowing his head in an apology. “Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”

“He was the one that suggested it, I couldn’t help it” you answered to which Seungmin’s eyes widened.

“H-he knows about this place?” He was stunned as he looked into your warm eyes.

“Yeah? Such a coincidence right? I was sur-” Your sentence was cut short as Seungmin’s breath hitched and a cold breeze hit your back. You turned back and there he was. 

Hyunjin. 

His presence shined in the relativly small rustic cafe. A white t-shirt and black slacks decorated his well toned body, a long leather coat draping over his shoulders as his black boots shined perfectly. Multiple silver chains hanged around his neck and the rings from last time were boldly placed on his lanky fingers. The blonde boy is tightly gripping what looks to be brown leather computer clutch. 

He waved awkwardly and you smiled sweetly his way, playfully hitting Seungmin whose mouth was wide open, looking at the dashing boy. Hyunjin walked over to you, the other guests staring and some of them already picking up their phones to capture this moment. He looked oddly stiff, mannerisms totally different from how you saw him last. 

“Hi Hyunjin! uhm,,, this is my friend Seungmin, he works here.” you said, trying to initiate a conversation but only earning a wide eyed expression from Seungmin before Hyunjin spoke. 

“Nice to meet you!” he smiled, his eyes forming into half-moons.

Seungmin snapped back to reality before bowing slightly, his eyes twinkling and his ruffled hair landing infront of his deep brown eyes.

“It’s an honor to meet you, mr Hwang” 

Hyunjin chuckles slightly at his cute gesture.

“Your cafe seemed charming” was the only thing he could response before looking at you and blushing. 

“2 americanos, Minnie” you said, momentarily glancing at Hyunjin before staring down at your heels. 

“It’s on me” Seungmin leaned in to whisper in your ear to which you giggled and looked at Hyunjin’s confused expression. You pointed at a table in the corner of the cafe with your chin, signaling to sit down.

As you walked over to the cedar table you couldn’t help but to wonder about his duality. He seemed so comfortale last time, talking to you with no problem and being as bold as to leave his number but now he seemed like a young school boy that wanted to ask his crush out. You started to understand what Felix meant by “people like him”. 

You sat down on one of the wooden chairs with steel details, the only thing seperating you from Hyunjin being the light ash table. He pulls out his computer, clicking away as you observe his perfect features. His concentrated eyes were fierce but had a soft gaze, his plush pink lips being soft, perfect for kissing you thought as your eyes drifted to his adams apple that bobbed everytime he swallowed.

Before Hyunjin could show you his screen Seungmin came over, shyly placing the drinks on the table and striking his sweet smile your way to which you laughed inaudibly until he went back behind the counter, observing the action from afar. 

Hyunjin cleared his throath nervously as he turned his computer to show you the colorful photos, looking at your judging gaze in reassurance as he sipped on his americano. 

You were amazed. The photoshoot seemed simple when you modelled but no one could have ever guessed that by just looking at the photo. It had a touch of charisma. The angles, the lighting and the editing made this originally plain photo look dimentional while still having a youthful touch with the pastels.

“W-what do you think?” He said, looking at the screen as his ring finger flicked through the pictures, pressing on the right arrow key on the keyboard. 

“It’s amazing, no wonder you’re so famous” you said while grabbing your americano without lifting your gaze from the enticing photos. Heat rose to Hyunjin’s cheeks upon hearing your words. Sure, he’d heard it before but not from you. Not in that cute, geniune voice that ringed through his ears like music. 

“Thank you y/n” he said, his gaze drifting over to you. He was stunned from how beautiful you looked in the cozy ambiance of the cafe. A wall plant descended down behind you as your eyes twinkled when you caught eye contact with the blond boy. Everything he wanted to do right now was to capture your beauty, make this moment last forever. 

“Earth to Hyunjin” you said, giggling as his gaze froze on you, feeling your heated cheeks get even hotter. 

“Uhm,,, s-sorry, wanna get some sneak peaks from other photoshoots?”

You nodded excitingly, feeling special but also questioning why he treated you so specially. He was shy, theres no doubt about that but it almost seems like he trusts you. You move your chair closer to him, wanting to see the screen properly before you notice Hyunjin shifting awkwardly in his seat, not used to being this close to you. 

“H-here are some I took last week, another one of mr Styliz many projects” he smiled timidly before taking another sip of his beverage. 

Once again you were amazed by his talent but what caught your attention even more was how undressed the female model was, her curvy body being covered by nothing more than a short glittery dress with a plunging neckline, displaying her cleavage. In her hands there was a delicate red bottle, decorated with art deco lines.

“What was the concept?” you asked, curious of this sensual vibe that emitted from this photo. 

“Something along the lines of elegancy. It’s for Aurora Perfumes”

He namedropped the famous brand in the most colloquial fashion, seemingly an everyday occurence for him. 

“Y-you worked for Aurora? That’s,,, wow” you were speechless as Hyunjin quietly giggled at your reacting, waveing his hand in the air in disagreement.

“I don’t like to b-brag about my career so hopefully I don’t come across that way” he said, almost worryingly. 

“No! Not all, it’s really impressive, your entire career is.”

Your sweet voice made his heart flutter, never before had he heard compliments sound this pleasant. 

“Why did you become a photographer?” you asked, your curiosity bubbling over as he looked at you with his penetrating brown eyes. The mood suddenly got cold. Hyunjin took a deep breath, exhaling loudly from his nose as you sipped on your coffee. 

“I’m an only child and therefore I spent a lot of time with my grandparents when I was younger.” 

You knew this was going to be a sad story, you bit the inside of your cheek, regretting asking that question as you thought that it might be too personal but judging from how Hyunjin’s words spilled from his mouth you believed that he felt comfort telling you.

“They had photoalbums stacked up in their attic which I flipped through for hours, observing their youth and innocence and seeing how time fled by. When I got my first camera I was overjoyed, taking pictures of everything around me and putting them up on my wall, acting as if my room was an art gallery.”

He smiled when talking, his voice turning mellow as he reminisced. 

“But when my grandparents passed away,,, I noticed that I didn’t have any photos of them nor of my friends or family which made me feel disappointed. I had spent so much of my time trying to capture beauty when beauty was infront me.”

Shivers ran down your spine as his sugared voice ran through the words. Hyunjin looked nervously down on the table and you did the same, not knowing what to say or how to comfort the blond boy. 

“I-I’m sorry for your loss” 

That was the only sentence you could muster to say but Hyunjin glanced at you, his dimples appearing as he smiled. 

“Why are you sorry? No one usually asks me that question so it feels nice to get it off my chest.”

You nodded shyly as silence erupted in between the two of you. 

“It really was a pleasure working with you y/n, I would like to have you modell for me again” he blurts out, trying to put an end to the painful silence.

“Y-you what? B-but my manager hasn’t told me anything ab-”

“No, just the two of us.”

You went quiet, not believing your ears. A photoshoot, the two of you? Isn’t that practically a confession? Your dazed mind seemed to wander off to places far off, imagining the tension that would be looming over the both of you. Felix sure as hell wasn’t going to like this but you didn’t care. Hyunjin seemed comfortable with you, talking as if he’d known you for years and now he was asking you to modell for him? Saying no to this opportunity would be a crime.

“S-sure, when were you thinking?”

“You free tomorrow?” Hyunjin says, leaning back in his chair and spreading his legs comfortably, looking up at you through a curtain of blonde. 

“Yeah,,, sounds great!”

A smile crept up on your face as heat rose to your cheeks, feeling everything and nothing all at once. In this moment you didn’t care about the shutter coming from the guests phone cameras. You just cared about him. 

The next half an hour went by in a blur. In that short time you probably covered half of the conversational topics on this earth. Hyunjin laughed as you told him about your childhood.

“That’s so cute y/n”

“Well it wasn’t cute in the moment but now I can laugh at it” you laughed with him, stroking a piece of your hair behind your ear. 

“I think you’re cute y/n” 

“Of course I was cute when I was little” you roll your eyes at him, tears prickling in your eyes from laughter but when you glanced at Hyunjin he wasn’t laughing, he was simply observing you. 

“I think you’re cute now” 

You froze. All these things he’s saying made your heart beat faster than ever, a nervosity that couldn’t be described with words.

“You too” you exclaimed without thinking to which Hyunjin glanced at you with a grin. He coughed before streching his arms.

“Time to head home?” He said, packing up his computer. 

“Yeah, I have something to do” you said looking at your watch, knowing very well that you had absolutely nothing to do for the rest of the day except for anxiously thinking out every potential scenario that could occur tomorrow.

“Meet me at my studio tomorrow at 5 pm”

You nodded carefully, knowing exactly where his famous studio was.

“Don’t tell Bangchan I showed you the photos” he laughed mischievously, looking a bit like a ferret. 

“Alright, alright I won’t even though I really want to tell him how good of a photographer you are” you said cheekily as you stood up. The both of you headed towards the wooden door with glass panes, flashing a wink towards Seungmin that had his eyebrows heightened, amazed from how the little cafe lit up with two attractive people walking side by side. 

Outside the sun beamed, the bustling of the city and high skyscrapers stimulating your senses. 

“Guess I’ll see you tomorrow Hyunjin”

You scratch the back of your neck nervously as you speak before remembering something.

“Oh! Do you have a concept in mind?”

“Wear whatever, I’ll think of a way around it” he said. 

“Mhm! See you tomorrow!”

“Text me when you’re home, ok?” 

That sentence made your heart flutter and before you could embarrass yourself by saying anything stupid he waved, his rings shining in the sunlight. Turning around, you promptly started walking back home.

Your heart thumping, your thoughs scattered, your mind dazed. 

𝕋𝕒𝕘𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕥

@vogueinnie @that-anxious-bisexual @putmetogetheragain13 @hyunsluvv @lawleighette @meow-minho @minaamhh @ohmysparkle @hwangi @rindomo​ @fleeingreality @nycol-ie​ @jisungsplatforms @p0t4t0don14ll

[idreamofplaid]

The Only Thing That’s Real

Square Filled: Fix It Fic

Characters: Sam x witch!Reader; Dean; Lucifer

Word Count: 8802

Summary: The reader falls in love with Sam during his darkest time, and she’s willing to do anything to help him.

Warnings: Non Con (discussed not depicted); heavy angst

A/N: This is for @girl-next-door-writes Make Me Feel Bingo. It’s early Season 7 Sam during the time he’s hallucinating Lucifer. It is the longest one shot I’ve ever written, but it didn’t feel right to break it into smaller pieces.

Thanks to @petitgateau911 for being my beta and @thinkinghardhardlythinking for the conversations about Sam and what would be true to his character. Hugs to you both.

The motel wasn’t much; the places Dean stayed never were. His car was another story. It was impressive, and when you saw it parked outside this latest no star establishment, you knew you were in the right place.

You parked in the space next to the Impala, made your way to room 16, and knocked lightly on the green door with the peeling paint. Dean was expecting you. He answered quickly and stepped outside closing the door behind him.

He hugged you and held on a beat longer than he usually would. When he let go, you scanned his face looking for some clue about the situation but couldn’t get a solid read on him. He knew what you were doing, acknowledged your look with a nod, and said, “Thanks for coming.”

“Did you think I wouldn’t? Why don’t you tell me what’s going on?” You shifted the bag on your shoulder. “I’ve never seen you like this.” That worried you because you had seen and heard a lot when it came to Dean. Usually, he called on you in need of your witch skills. You’d always had just the right spell for him, but your instinct told you this situation was something else.

Dean’s eyes clouded over for a second. “Sam’s not doin’ so good. He... needs somebody to watch him.” Dean dragged his fingers down his cheek. “He doesn’t know what’s real, Y/N.”

You tried to mask your reaction from Dean. Whatever you were expecting, it wasn’t this; this was bad. “I see.” You eyed the door behind Dean, imagining what you’d find behind it. 

Dean blew out a breath. “I shouldn’t have asked you to come here. This is too much to ask you to deal with.”

You put your hand on Dean’s arm to settle him. “You called me because just maybe I can help. At the very least, I can make sure he’s not alone and give you a chance to take care of what you need to.” With a little pat, you let your hand drop from Dean’s arm. “Why don’t you give me the short version of what’s happening and then introduce me to this little brother you’ve been hiding?”

The story Dean told was horrifying. Sam had been locked in a cage with the devil in hell. “He has nightmares, Y/N. All the time. He’s been having them ever since his memories of hell came back to him. The things he says in his sleep make my blood run cold.” Dean made a fist, rested his chin on it, and closed his eyes. 

You moved closer and put your arm around him. “I know this is hard for you, Dean.” He dropped his fist and started shaking his head.

“He’s my little brother. I’m supposed to take care of him, and I can’t help him.” Dean took a couple of steps away from you so your arm was no longer around him. You knew Dean well enough to know he felt like he didn’t deserve the comfort because in his mind he’d failed his brother.

“Dean, you are doing everything you can; you always have.” He bent his head back, looked at the sky, let out a deep breath, and then let it fall forward again until his chin was almost touching his chest.

“Y/N, I’m starting to believe things happened to him that the demons torturing me when I was in hell only threatened to do. Just remembering the threat of it kept me awake at night for years after I got out. Now, he’s seeing things. Seeing Lucifer. And Lucifer taunts him, reminds of him of what he did and tells him he’s going to do it again.”

Dean started to pace. “Sam gets this terrified look in his eyes sometimes, and I know he’s seeing Lucifer, hearing him. Sam begs him not to do it again, and he talks about how cold it is inside. He’s afraid of the cold.” Dean chewed at his lip, and looked for a minute like he might start crying. 

“They tear you apart in hell, piece by piece, then put you back together to do it again. It hurts more than there are even words to describe. They mess with your mind. That’s worse than the physical pain. They make you believe all kinds of shit that isn’t real. But I think Lucifer did something to Sam even worse than all that.”

You closed the distance between the two of you and put your hand on Dean’s arm again. “What do you think happened to Sam?”

Dean shook his head harder than he had before. “No. I can’t. I can’t say it out loud. I don’t want to.” 

“Okay, Dean. You don’t have to say it.” You tried to calm him with your voice, but it was having little effect. This was bad for both of them. You felt your stomach drop, knowing how they both had suffered. No one should hurt like that. “How about you introduce me to Sam now? Let me see him.”

Dean gave you a silent nod then turned and opened the door. You followed him into the mostly darkened room. What you saw in that room caused your heart to leap up into your throat; the sight in front of you created an emptiness in the center of your being and fanned to life a dormant flame inside you. Dean’s brother was sitting on the edge of the bed, head and shoulders slumped over. He was powerfully built, taller and with wider shoulders than even Dean’s. His hair was falling over those shoulders and his face. You held your breath for a second or two. You could sense his soul, felt connected to him and the pain he was bravely trying to manage. This man was beautiful, and he was broken.

Dean closed the door behind you and said, “Sammy, there’s somebody I want you to meet.” Sam slowly raised his head. His eyes were haunted, the horrors he held in his mind reflected there. When he saw you, he tried to sit up a little straighter. “Sam, this is Y/N. She’s an old friend of mine.”

Sam attempted a smile. “Hi. Did Dean ask you to come babysit me?” There was nothing bitter or angry in his question. 

You weren’t sure how to best answer him, deciding to go with at least part of the truth. “That’s not exactly how he put it. He said you weren’t feeling so good, and you know how Dean worries; he didn’t want to leave you alone. All these years I’ve known him, you’ve been the mysterious brother I’ve never met. I wanted to change that.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The first night passed without incident. You’d taken a chance and brought along a chessboard, thinking maybe Sam and his Ivy League mind might like the game. It was a good move; it gave you both something to focus on other than the awkward situation you were in together.

Sam was nothing like Dean, but he had his own kind of charm. He could carry on a conversation in a way that made you feel like you were the most interesting person in the world, and he could talk about any number of things. The two of you discussed everything from favorite childhood books to Spanish architecture, and the conversation was easy.

It was almost impossible, while at the same time nearly natural, to imagine Sam as a hunter. Dean got a certain thrill and satisfaction from hunting. You didn’t sense any of that in Sam, but he certainly had the mind to put the pieces of a puzzle together and solve a case. The way he was built he could take on any monster, and you couldn’t help but notice his eyes were beautiful. They were a mosaic of green, gold, and amber. You could have easily indulged in staring at them endlessly; you appreciated and were drawn to the depth you saw in those eyes. 

You passed a comfortable evening together, and when it was time for bed; Sam took the first turn in the bathroom. That left you alone for a few minutes to gather your thoughts. So far things were going well, but you knew that could change in an instant. You centered and grounded yourself, then cast a quick protection spell over the room. It wouldn’t be long before you would find out that nothing could protect Sam from his own mind. 

Sam slept peacefully in one of the double beds and you in the other until the first faint light of the sunrise began to filter through the golden orange curtains casting a tinted light over the room. That’s when Sam started to yell and plead. “No. No. Not again. Please.”

The pitiful sounds he was making tore you from your sleep, and you went to him. “Sam. Sam.” When calling his name didn’t work, you lightly touched his shoulder. He bolted awake and grabbed your wrist, wrapping his huge hand around it. You knew he could break your wrist, but you didn’t feel the slightest twinge of fear. It was something else entirely you were feeling. You wanted to protect him from whatever it was that was tormenting him and take away his tremendous pain.

You tried speaking to him softly. “Sam, it’s okay. Nothing can hurt you here. It’s alright.”

He looked at you with wide and confused eyes. “Y/N?” Sam looked down at his hand that was still grasping your wrist. He let go. “I’m...I’m sorry. Did I hurt you?” He sounded ashamed of what he’d done.

“No, Sam. You didn’t hurt me. I’m fine.” You wiggled your fingers and swiveled your wrist. “See? Everything still works.” He watched your motions, and they appeared to reassure him a little. Sam pushed himself up into a sitting position with his back against the headboard. 

He ran his fingers through his hair and scanned the room. He still seemed a little disoriented. “What...what did I do?” He looked to you for the answer. 

You wanted to put your hand on him again, soothe him with your touch, but now that he was awake; you didn’t do that. You tried to comfort him with the tone of your voice instead. “You were talking in your sleep. It sounded like...like someone was hurting you. Do you want to talk about it, Sam?”

He gave a slight shake of his head. “No. It’s...I’m okay.”

Two days later, Dean still wasn’t back. He texted everyday to check in, and you replied back with a confidence you didn’t feel that you had everything under control. Sam had slept fitfully both nights, but nothing else had happened as bad as that first morning until Sam completely cracked in front of you. 

You were playing a game of chess, and as near as you could tell, Sam was about three moves away from claiming your king when he jumped out of his chair to stand in front of you. His arms were outstretched in a protective gesture, blocking something that wasn’t there from getting to you, and he was talking to the empty space. “Stay away from her. Don’t you dare try to touch her.”

You stood up behind him. “Sam?”

He reached back and circled one of his arms around your waist and pulled you close against his back. “I won’t let him near you, Y/N. I promise. I WILL NOT let him hurt you.”

“Who, Sam? Who do you think is going to hurt me?” You reached for his shoulder, as you had during that first nightmare, and lay your hand on it trying to bring him back to reality again. 

Sam’s voice took on a hard steel edge. “It’s Lucifer. He thinks he can do to you what he did to me, but I will NEVER let that happen.” Then Sam started to talk to the empty air, his voice full of conviction. “You can do anything you want to me. You already have. Drag me back to hell and do it all again, but you won’t get to her. I. Won’t. Let. You.”

You started to rub the back of Sam’s shoulder. “Sam, there’s no one there.”

“Y/N, get back!” He started walking backwards, pushing you along behind him until you hit the wall. Then Sam turned and wrapped his arms around you, shielding you with his body. 

He was pressed firmly against you, and it took some effort to push him back far enough to get your hands on each side of his face. “Sam, look at me.” You positioned his face so he was looking directly into your eyes. “Look in my eyes.” You saw the instant his hazel eyes focused on you. “That’s it, Sam. We’re fine. No one’s here. Just us.”

Sam took a couple of steps back; he looked around the room, and then he slowly backed all the way to the bed and sat down. His eyes met yours, and he swallowed hard before he said anything. “I’m sorry.” His words were soft and tortured; you couldn’t keep your distance from him. You joined him on the bed, sitting so close that your leg almost touched his.

You put your hand on his cheek again, much more softly this time, knowing full well that he knew where he was and realized what you were doing. “Sam, you don’t need to apologize to me. You haven’t done anything wrong. Tell me what you see. Tell me what’s going on in your mind.”

Sam’s eyes searched yours, like he was trying to determine how much he could tell you. He reached his decision, and he let you in.  “He taunts me. Reminds me of everything he did to me when I was in hell.” Sam took a long pause and shifted his eyes away from yours. You lowered your hand and put it over his. He rotated his hand so he could close his fingers over yours. Now, he had something to hold onto.

“He says he’s going to do it all again. Says he loves the way I try to hold out, makes it more satisfying when I scream.” Sam shuddered. You rubbed your fingers gently over the back of his hand, hoping it gave him some comfort. Sam closed his eyes, and when he opened them again, he said in a strained voice, “He tells me I’m still in hell; I’m with him. He lets me believe you’re real to make it worse when he takes you away.” Tears were shining in his eyes, threatening to fall.

You tightened your fingers around his. “I’m real, Sam. I’m here with you. No one else. Just me.” Slowly, you let go of his hand so you could comb your fingers through his hair, brushing it back from his face. “I’m the only thing that’s real, Sam. He closed his eyes again, tighter this time than the first and nodded. You put your arms around him and hugged him close. “Do you feel that, Sam? It’s real. You’re safe.”

Sam turned toward you and wrapped his arms around you. He was struggling to steady his breath. “Tell me again that you’re here.”

You slipped your fingers into his hair and held the back of his head. “I am, Sam. I’m here.”

That night you slept in the same bed; Sam held you, and he slept without nightmares or hallucinations. You listened to him breathe, felt the warmth of his body next to your back, and the feelings you had for him grew deeper and took root in your soul. You whispered into the darkened room, “You’re not alone, Sam. You never will be.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your life went back to normal when you went back home, but it was forever changed. You couldn’t get the image of a tall, handsome, and troubled hunter out of your mind. At night, you lay awake in bed and stared at the ceiling, wondering if Sam could sleep. It was one of those sleepless nights that you finally threw back the covers and got out of bed intent upon doing something to answer the questions that kept spinning through your head. 

You took your scrying bowl from the cabinet where you stored it and filled it with water. Your altar was still set up from your last ritual; the candles were still there as well as a place for the bowl. You placed the bowl on the altar and lit the candles surrounding it. The water caught the light from the candles and reflected it up to you. You concentrated on the light and let your vision go hazy. 

A vision of Sam appeared on the water. His palms were pressed against both sides of his head. His eyes were squeezed tightly shut, the way you had seen them in person, and Dean was standing next to him. He was saying something to Sam that you couldn’t make out, but Sam dropped his hands and opened his eyes. They were wide open now and filled with fear. He backed away from his brother, clearly scared and trying to get away from something that was terrifying him.

The image of Sam disappeared, and you sat on the floor in front of your altar stunned. You wrapped your arms around your body and hugged yourself. What had you thought you would see? You’d seen the condition he was in for yourself, and it hadn’t just mercifully disappeared. For the rest of the night, you didn’t move from that spot. You sat there in the dark and watched the candles burn down.

By the time morning came, you were exhausted. Fortunately, you had been your own boss since you left the graphic design company you worked for two years ago and gone freelance, but you still had clients and work to do. With that in mind, you were making a strong pot of coffee in the hope it would keep you awake enough to deliver the designs you’d promised. 

Your plan was good, but it wasn’t working. You were distracted and preoccupied. For the third time since the sun came up, you picked up your cell phone with the intention of calling, or at least texting, Dean. What were you going to say? I can’t get your brother out of my mind since I managed to fall in love with him after spending three days with him. Or maybe, I saw him in a bowl of water last night, and I’m worried about him. No, you couldn’t do that. It didn’t matter how much you felt otherwise; your life was not actually connected to Sam’s. Dammit. You put your phone down on the counter with a thud, and snatched open a cabinet to get a mug. 

You had work to do, bills had to be paid. With that in mind, you grabbed the coffee pot and started to fill your mug. The memory of Sam’s hazel eyes flooded your mind; you didn’t stop pouring when you should have, and your cup overflowed, creating a huge mess. You mopped up the spilled coffee and threw the dish towel into the sink with a frustrated sigh.

As it turned out, you didn’t have to pretend to be productive for very long because by mid morning Dean was calling you. As soon as you saw his name on your caller ID, your heart started to pound. You snatched up the phone. “Dean?” Maybe he heard the panic in your voice, maybe he didn’t because he had worries of his own.

“Y/N, I’m really sorry to bother you again.” You wanted to interrupt him, wanted to blurt out all your questions about Sam, but you didn’t, even though Dean was taking way too long to get to the point in your opinion. “Do you think you could spare some time away again? I wouldn’t ask, but Sam...he’s getting worse. I’m afraid he might hurt himself, Y/N, because he can’t take it anymore. He’s getting more lost in his head, and...he’s asking for you.”

“Asking for me?” You sat down, and your already fast beating heart started to beat a little faster. 

You heard Dean sigh over the phone. “Yeah. Whenever he’s out of it, sometimes he thinks you’re here. Then when he realizes you aren’t, he gets upset.” Another sigh. “I don’t know what else to do, Y/N.”

Dean might not know, but you did. “I’ll come. Where are you?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bobby was another person Dean had mentioned over the years. He’d never said much about his house though, and it was a sight to behold. Once you got past the yard and more junk cars than you had ever seen, the inside was also remarkable. Here, you found more books than you had ever seen outside a library. Practically every surface was covered with them. 

Dean gave you a bit of a tour of the place while he updated you on Sam. “I don’t think he’s sleeping anymore. We’ve been in some tight spots, but this has me knocked on my ass.” For Dean to be admitting anything of the kind was a rare occurrence, and it scared you. The final stop on the tour was an upstairs bedroom at the end of the hall where Sam was staying. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, much as he had been the first time you ever saw him. Only now, there were dark circles under his pain filled eyes, and it was clear what Dean had said was true. Sam had barely slept in a long time, if at all.

He was hugging himself just like you had on the floor in front of your altar, and he smiled when he saw you. You crossed the room, sat beside him, and gave him a lingering hug. When you parted, Sam’s smile got bigger. “Y/N, you’re here.”

You returned his smile. “Yeah, I’m here. It’s gonna be okay now.” 

 Dean was still standing in the doorway, but you had forgotten him until he spoke. “I’m just gonna go.” You turned to acknowledge what he’d said, and he was staring intently at you and his brother. His gaze travelled from you to Sam and back. He tilted his head in your direction then left, closing the door behind him. 

All of your attention went back to Sam. “When was the last time you slept?”

He was slow in answering you, but once more he let you in. “It’s been a day or two; I don’t know exactly. Time is kinda running together.” You noticed the bed you were sitting on was neatly made. Had he even tried to sleep recently, or had he just given up? 

You rubbed your hand up and down his arm to soothe him, and you felt some of the tension leave his body at your touch. You did this for a few minutes then told him, “Sam, I’m going to go make you some tea. I think it will help you sleep.” You’d come prepared, bringing some herbs with you that might help him.

Sam reached for your hand as you started to stand. “Don’t go yet. Stay here with me.”

You lowered yourself back to the bed. “Okay, but I want you to try to rest.” You fluffled the pillows and said to him, “Lie back.” Sam hesitated. You kneeled in front of him and took both his hands in yours. “Do you see him now, Sam?”

His eyes darted to the corner of the room. “Yeah. He doesn’t go away. That’s why I can’t sleep. He won’t let me.” There was a lump in your throat, but you weren’t going to cry. That wasn’t what Sam needed right now. 

“Well, I’m not going away either. I’m going to lie down with you, and I’m going to stay next to you. Alright?” 

Sam was looking at your hands joined together. “Okay. I just want you with me.”

You settled back on the pillows with Sam and guided his head down to your shoulder. You slipped your fingers through his hair over and over, resisting the urge to kiss his head. “Try to close your eyes. I won’t let anything happen to you, Sam.” 

After several minutes of lying there in the quiet stroking Sam’s hair, you shifted to take your phone out of your pocket. Sam sat up quickly, jolted out of the peace you’d given him. “Don’t go, Y/N.” There was no fear in his eyes now. It had been replaced by an empty resignation, and that was worse. 

You cupped his cheek in your hand. “I told you I wouldn’t go, Sam. I’m not.” You held up your phone so he could see it. “I’m just going to text Dean and ask him to bring me what I need to make the tea.” You could see Sam thinking, then he put his head back on your shoulder and draped his arm over your waist to hold you close. 

Moving as little as possible, you typed out your text to Dean. Bring me the herbs I put in the kitchen,  a pot of hot water, and a teacup. 

In a few minutes, there was a knock at the door. This time, you told Sam before you moved. “I’m going to go answer the door. I’ll be right back.”

Dean was standing on the other side, holding a tray filled with everything you’d asked him to bring. You put your hands on the tray to take it from him, and Dean whispered, “How is he?”

“He’s quiet, but it isn’t good.” You had been rolling an idea around in your head, debating if you should do it. Acknowledging Sam was in bad shape out loud helped you make up your mind. “Dean, I want you to see if Bobby has a book on Medieval Italian witchcraft, ideally a grimoire. If he does, bring it to me.” 

He glanced past you to get a look at Sam. “Are you going to do a spell?” 

Saying it was a spell was a bit of an understatement. “I’m going to help him, Dean. Find that book.”

You returned to Sam and put the tray down on the bedside table. You opened the large plastic bag filled with smaller bags of herbs and selected the ones you wanted. You sprinkled some of each herb in the cup then poured hot water over them. Sam was watching you. The look on his face told you he was more interested in making sure you didn’t disappear than in what you were doing. 

The tea steeped for a couple of minutes, then you gave it to Sam. He wrapped both his hands around the cup and asked, “What is it?”

You sat down next to him on the bed. “It’s something to quiet your mind so you can sleep.”

Sam took a sip from the cup that looked so tiny in his hands. “I’m lucky I know a witch like you.” Then he took another bigger drink.

He knew what you were. Had Dean talked about you over the years the same way he’d talked about Sam, or had Sam figured it out on his own? Had Dean told him that you were a hereditary witch with a lineage that dated back five generations? That made you powerful, and you had never been more thankful for that than right now. “Did Dean tell you?”

Sam drank some more. His voice was sounding a little stronger. “I knew he consulted a witch on some of our cases, and it looks like you know your herbs. It’s you that he went to.”

“Does that change your opinion of me? Dean isn’t very fond of witches in general.” You were nervous waiting for his answer in spite of your strong intuition backed by five generations that told you not to be.

“I’m not my brother.” His eyes met yours and something passed silently between you.

You took the now empty cup from him. “I noticed,” you answered softly.

He reached for your arm, and you felt a warmth spread through your body when he touched you. “You have a talent, Y/N. You’ve helped people; you’re helping me.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was getting late into the night when you heard a soft knock at the door. You checked Sam before you got up. He was still sleeping. Dean had found exactly what you were hoping he’d find. It was a grimoire, and it looked old. He held it out to you. “You read Italian?”

You took the book from him. “As a matter of fact I do.” Your grandmother had taught you the family tradition of Italian witchcraft and learning the language was part of your training.

“Bobby says that’s not modern Italian,” Dean said, explaining his doubt that you could translate it.

“I can still read it.” Your grandmother had been thorough in her lessons.

Dean noticed his brother sleeping, and a smile turned up the corners of his mouth. He looked back to you and down at the book. “You’re full of surprises, aren’t you?”

You ignored him and proceeded with your next request. “Will you stay with him while I take a shower and get ready for bed?”

“You’re staying in here tonight?” Dean was trying to figure out exactly what kind of relationship you had with his brother. 

“Yes, I told him I wouldn’t leave him.” You looked over your shoulder at Sam and clutched the book you were holding a little tighter. It had to have the answer you needed in it.

You turned back to Dean, and his eyes locked on yours. “Thank you, Y/N.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You stayed up half the night reading the grimoire, searching for a spell that you were beginning to fear was only a legend, a story your grandmother told you when you were a girl just like she’d told you the story of Cinderella. Maybe it was just another romantic story. She had told you about a spell that had the power to cure anything. It had been created by a witch during the time of the great plague to save the man she loved. Your grandmother had made you the woman you were, the one who would do anything to save Sam. You could still hear her voice echoing in your head. “There is no greater power than love. It can protect. It can transform. It can heal.”

You were almost to the end of the grimoire and losing hope when you reached a page titled “Restoration”. Excitement began to bubble up inside you when you read the description. This was it. The list of ingredients was surprisingly simple; you’d brought everything you would need with you in your collection of herbs. All you needed to do was add a little sugar from Bobby’s kitchen. You read the directions for casting the spell, took a deep breath, and read them again to make sure you’d understood correctly. Your grandmother never told you that part.

All that is required to the diminish the ailment of your lover is your love. During the act of sexual union, focus your intention. Whatever afflicts him will be diminished by half of its force being transferred to you. If the gods have smiled upon you, he will return your love. And, should he love you in return, the affliction will be not only diminished but abolished altogether.

The weight of the words settled over you. You looked at Sam; he was still sleeping beside you undisturbed. If you took half of his mental anguish, he could at least function. He would no longer be living on the brink of a total breakdown, that should it come, might take him from you forever. You traced the line of his jaw with your fingertip; he didn’t stir. Did you love him enough to see the devil? Yes.

You made your way down to the kitchen, careful not to turn on any lights and alert anyone to your movements. Everything you needed was there as you had expected it to be. You crushed up the needed herbs, added the sugar, put it all in some water, and drank the potion. You would gladly sacrifice yourself for Sam, and you would be ready at the right time. You made a silent plea to the goddess that the right time would come soon.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You managed to get a couple hours of sleep before you woke and discovered Sam was no longer in bed next to you. You ran for the door and almost collided into Sam coming back into the room. He was dressed in a blue and white plaid shirt, and the emptiness was gone from his eyes. His smile was so big it deepened his dimples and made him so handsome you almost couldn’t breathe. “Hey, Y/N. You want to get some breakfast?”

“Sam, are you…?” The light in his eyes was the most beautiful thing you’d ever seen.

He moved closer to you, so close he was only inches away. “I’m okay. For the first time, in a very long time, I feel okay.” His eyes lingered on yours, then he cupped your cheek in his hand and for several seconds you were lost in the depths of his eyes, a place you would gladly stay forever. Then Sam touched his lips to yours, and it was the softest kiss anyone had ever given you in your life. 

He pulled away, but not too far. He was still holding your face in his hands and looking into your eyes. “Kiss me again, Sam.” You parted your lips when his mouth touched yours, and he accepted the invitation. Sam’s tongue circled around yours, exploring your mouth and discovering the way you taste. You put your arms around him, wanting to hold onto him and the moment. When he felt your arms go around him, Sam deepened the kiss. 

You were nearly breathless when the kiss ended. Sam took your hand in his. “Come downstairs with me? We can have our first breakfast together.” It wasn’t lost on you that he’d said “first”. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In all the time you’d known him, you never knew Dean had such a way with eggs. You caught him looking at Sam and you throughout breakfast. When you got up to take your plate to the sink, Dean saw his opportunity and followed you. “What did you do? He hasn’t been out of that room in days.”

“I gave him some tea to clear his mind, and I stayed with him.” You stacked the dishes in the sink to give your hands something to do, very conscious of Dean closely scrutinizing you. He was trying to figure out what it was that you weren’t telling him. Now wasn’t the time to say it was your feelings for Sam that were helping him more than anything. It was then that the idyllic reprieve ended. 

Sam sank to the floor and curled in on himself. “Please, I can’t again. It already hurts so much. So cold. Hurts.”

You felt a pain shoot through your heart, and you lowered yourself to the floor beside Sam. You ran your fingers through his hair to soothe him, but he didn’t acknowledge you were there. It wasn’t helping this time.

You stood up and turned to Dean. “Help me get him back upstairs.”

Dean nearly had to carry Sam up the stairs, he was so unsteady on his feet. Once back in the room you were sharing with Sam, Dean settled his brother on the bed. You needed to get that spell cast as soon as possible if you could make Sam coherent and strong enough to consent to having sex with you. He’d never consent to you taking his pain, so you were going to keep that part to yourself. 

Sam was shaking when you crawled onto the bed next to him. His eyes were closed, and you could have cried with relief when he said your name. “Y/N?”

“Yes, Sam, it’s me.” You longed to touch him, to make it better.

He opened his eyes, and you saw the recognition in them along with the brokenness. “I’m scared, Y/N.”

You wrapped your arms around him and pulled him close; he lay his head on the center of your chest, and you held him. “You’re okay, Sam. I promise it’s going to be okay.” Love was indeed the most powerful magic. It had made him better every time he had been near you so far, and you waited for it to work again.

Eventually the shaking stopped; he was calm in your arms. Images of the way he’d looked cowering on the kitchen floor invaded your mind. I love you, Sam. You couldn’t say the words, but they were right there in your mind along with those pictures of him that tore your heart to pieces. 

You let him know what peace he could while you battled with an inner struggle. The last thing you wanted to do was shatter that peace, but you had an awful suspicion. You needed to know, considering what you were about to do. 

“Sam?” You whispered his name quietly, and he stirred in your arms. “Tell me about the cold.”

He didn’t say anything. It was quiet, so quiet the silence hung heavy over you like a weight you could feel pressing down on your shoulders. Then Sam spoke in an unsteady whisper. “I’ve never told anyone.”

You moved your hand to the back of his head to hold it. “You know you’re safe with me, Sam, don’t you? You know you can tell me anything.”

A few more seconds passed and Sam started to breathe out through his mouth in ragged little gasps. “It’s...it’s...Lu...Lucifer. The way he feels when...when….” 

“It’s okay, Sam. Take your time. Breathe. I’m right here.” You tried to prepare yourself for what he was about to say, but that was impossible.

“When he...f...forces himself inside me.” The pain that sliced through you was more acute than if the blade of a sword had cut into you. You squeezed your eyes closed and listened to him go on.

“He did it so many times.” You couldn’t see Sam’s face, and for once you were glad you couldn’t, unsure if you could hold yourself together if you saw the expression there. “It tore at me, and I bled. But that’s not what hurt so much.” You tried to steel yourself; you had to be strong, had to fight the wave of nausea you were feeling. “It was the cold inside me, so cold it burned.”

Several more seconds passed that grew into a minute. He was done. He wasn’t going to say anything else. You knew. All you could do was continue to hold onto him; you couldn’t make that go away. “I’m sorry, Sam. I’m so sorry that happened to you.” You kissed the top of his head and let your tears fall quietly into his hair. 

You weren’t sure how much time had passed, how long the two of you had been like that. Sam hadn’t looked at you once, his head bowed with a shame that wasn’t his to bear. He had put his arms around you at one point and held onto you tightly as if you were his touchstone with the present and reality. His grasp had loosened but his arms were still there when he said, “Why are you still here, Y/N?”

You rested your cheek on top of his head. “Because I want to help you.”

“Why? Why would you want to help me? I’m dirty.” Sam finally raised his head to look at you. His soul was in his eyes, and it was heartbreakingly sad. How had such a beautiful soul survived what he’d been through? 

“Sam, no. You aren’t.” You cupped his cheek, holding his face in your hand. 

Sam’s voice took on an edge of anguished anger. “He said no one would ever want me, would ever want anything to do with me.” Sam hung his head again, the anguish winning.

Gently, you tilted his head up until his eyes met yours. “I do. I want to be with you, Sam.” You touched your lips to his, so softly it was barely a kiss. It was such a different kind of kiss from the one he had given you that morning.

When you pulled away, Sam was looking at you in disbelief, wonder, and with a hope that what you said was true. He swallowed hard. “I haven’t been with anyone since I got my soul back and...remembered. I want to...with you.”

You closed your eyes and opened them, nodding. “You can. However you need.”

You hadn’t expected it to happen like this, this soon, but the necessary ingredients for the spell were in your system. All you had to do to activate them was say you loved him in your head during the act. You didn’t even need to say it out loud. This spell relied solely on you, your feelings and your intention. You’d already been repeating it in your mind like a mantra, and you weren’t going to stop. You loved him so much, you’d given him a part of yourself already. You would give him anything.

“You really want to be with me after what I told you?” You kissed him again as if to prove it, and this time he kissed you back. 

Sam slowly lifted your shirt over your head. He hadn’t exposed much of you yet, but he spent so long looking at you, his eyes roaming over your body, that you wondered if he had changed his mind. At last, he lowered his head and started kissing your neck. His kisses were gentle and open mouthed. He began to make a trail of them, moving lower to your breasts. Then he stopped.

You could feel his breath on your skin when he spoke. “This is okay?”

Your heart clenched and then filled with even more love for him. “Yes, Sam. Whatever you need. I want you.”

He touched you, running his fingers along the top edge of your bra and feeling the swell of your breasts. His hand rubbed over your shoulder and down the length of your arm. When he looked at you, there was no fear in his eyes; but there was hesitation. He could take as long as he wanted to resolve whatever it was that was making him hesitate.

You tried to tell him with your eyes what you couldn’t yet say. I LOVE YOU. Finding enough reassurance in your eyes, Sam kissed you. His tongue making a slow circle around yours. The kiss didn’t last very long, but it was followed by another that was a little deeper. 

Between kisses, his lips stayed near yours. “I like having you close.”

“I like it too,” you answered and hoped it encouraged him to keep going.

The next kiss was the deepest one yet, and you felt your body respond to what he was doing to you. An ache for him began to blossom in your core. You could feel yourself getting wet for him.

His lips moved so close to yours when he spoke. “Will you take it off for me? Your bra?” You nodded, your cheek brushing against his. 

You sat up a little. Sam was watching your every movement. You reached back and unfastened your bra, pulling the straps slowly down your arms. You let it drop somewhere on the bed.

Sam looked at you again, his eyes taking in every inch of you. He whispered, “You’re perfect. So beautiful.” You smiled at him, wishing you could freeze this moment. The tone of his voice and his eyes told you that for a second he had forgotten everything else.

The moment passed. Sam took off his plaid and the t-shirt underneath, peeling it off his body. Now, it was your turn to look. His eyes met yours, and they were questioning you, waiting for a response or some indication of what you were thinking. If only you could say the words you longed to say, you wanted so badly to give him yourself completely, body and heart, if only he was ready to hear them. As it was, with all the doubts he had, you didn’t want him to overwhelm him with that declaration. The words you said instead were “Can I?”

He nodded to you. “Yes.”

You let your hand wander over the muscles in his shoulders, his chest, and his stomach. “You’re beautiful too, Sam.” He closed his eyes. You continued to explore his body with the lightest touch of your fingertips, observing his reaction closely for any sign of distress.

You kept most of your touches well above his waist, letting him feel what it was to be touched by someone who loved him. He sighed, and it was a gentle sound free of strain. You smiled again, even though he couldn’t see you. 

“Sam, do you want me to take off the rest of my clothes?” He opened his eyes, and the question hung there. 

You could hear him breathing deeper now, his arousal starting. “I do want that.” 

You opened the button on your jeans, lowered the zipper, and eased them down your legs. For now, your panties were still on. They were simple, made of white cotton; they didn’t need to be anything else. There was no seduction in what the two of you were doing. It was pure, the purest thing you had ever known or felt. 

“Do you want to touch me, Sam? Let me prove to you how much I want you.” His hand reached out for you, and you took it. You guided his hand to that place beneath your legs where you were wet for him so he could feel it. 

Sam didn’t move his hand. He left it there for a few seconds before lifting it, looking at his fingers, and running his thumb over them to feel the wetness there. His lips parted as he looked to you for verification of what your body was telling him. “See. I want you.”

You slipped off your panties, lay down on the bed, and lifted your arms to him. Sam accepted your invitation, lowering himself over you, bracing his weight so it wasn’t fully on you. Now when he kissed you, his hand was moving down your side, over your hip, and back up again. “You feel so good, Y/N. Your skin is so soft, so warm.”

Feel all the warmth. Take it, my love. Your arms were around him, your hand in his hair. You were ready to do this for him, take on a portion of the horror that caused him to suffer so much. You would take it all if you could.

Sam broke the kiss. “Are you sure?”

You stared into his eyes the way you had imagined doing in that motel when you’d first met him. “I’m sure.”

Sam moved to take off his jeans. He was semi hard, not there yet. That was okay. 

He positioned himself over you again, and you put your arms back around him. You were still being careful to keep your hands on his upper back. While Sam kissed you, you could feel him continuing to harden until he was fully erect. He stopped kissing you, and looked into your eyes, searching once more. You said just one word “Yes.”

He entered you a little at a time, inch by inch, until he was completely inside. Initially, Sam stayed still within you. You bit your bottom lip, adjusting to the way he stretched you and waiting for him to move. When he didn’t, you asked, “Sam, are you okay?”

There was a pause, and then he said, “Am I hurting you?” 

You buried your face into the side of his neck and kissed him tenderly there. “No, Sam. You aren’t hurting me. I like the way you make me feel. 

He started to move with a slow rolling movement of his hips. You didn’t hold back your sounds of pleasure; you let him hear them. Sam responded by beginning to thrust.

That’s when you heard it. “You think you can fix him?” You turned your head in the direction of the mocking voice. It was him. It was working. You saw HIM.

Lucifer looked like a man, but there was a malevolence that radiated out from him. You hated that he could see you now, see you with Sam, invade this most private moment, even if he wasn’t real. He continued to mock you.

“You think you can save him? From me? It’s too late, you foolish woman.” He walked closer. You closed your eyes to block out the sight of him, but you could still hear what he was saying. “He belongs to me. I. Marked. Him.”

You wouldn’t let him violate this moment. You would endure seeing and hearing Lucifer for the rest of your life, but he couldn’t lessen this; this was beautiful. You focused on the connection, on the intimacy Sam was sharing with you. “I want you, Sam. I want you.”

The voice sounded so close, and you squeezed your eyes more tightly closed. “I told you he’s mine. I claimed him. Over and over.” You fought to hold in the sob that threatened to erupt out of you. Sam could not know what was happening. As long as you kept your eyes closed, Sam could mistake the pained grimace on your face for passion. “You should have heard him cry. He begged, pleaded with me to stop.”

Sam’s thrusts got faster. “Yes, Sam. Yes.” You wanted to dig your fingers into his back, but you didn’t. You were receiving what he gave you, what he was ready to give.

Lucifer’s voice, that was now in your head, was cruel. “You know what was the most fun?” You waited, dreading what he would say next, but Lucifer didn’t finish. You opened your eyes. He was gone. That meant….

You could say it now, the words you had been struggling to hold back, because you knew he would want to hear it. “I love you, Sam.”

His hips started to stutter, and he filled you with his release. Your walls fluttered around him, taking you right to the edge, but you didn’t come. It didn’t matter. 

Sam kept you close after he slipped from your body, rolling you onto your side to face him. You gazed into his eyes; you could look at them forever now. Sam’s heart was yours; he wanted you the way you wanted him. He verified what you were thinking by saying, “I love you too, Y/N.” You knew it, but there was nothing like hearing the words. 

“Thank you...for showing me...for giving me what you just did.” He brushed your hair from your cheek. He lowered his eyes, then lifted them back to yours. “You didn’t...did you. It wasn’t good for you. It’ll be better for you next time. I promise.”

“Don’t ever think you don’t give me enough, Sam. Don’t ever think that.” You kissed him softly and sweetly. 

“Will you let me do it now?” Sam asked you quietly. “Make you feel good.”

You traced your fingertip down his check and along his chin. “If that’s what you want. You don’t have to do anything, Sam.”

Sam covered your mouth with his, and you opened to his kiss and his touch. You spread your legs when you felt his fingers moving through your folds. He circled your clit, applying the perfect amount of pressure. He had already taken you so close, it wasn’t long before you were coming undone and falling into the bliss of your orgasm. 

He nuzzled his cheek against yours and whispered into your ear, “I love you.” Sam slept peacefully in your arms that night, as you did in his.

The next morning Sam woke you with his kisses. You opened your eyes, and his radiant smile greeted you. He had never smiled like that before. His dimples had never shone so bright. “He’s gone, Y/N. I can feel it.”

You smiled back at the man you loved, the man who returned your love. “He is gone, Sam, and he won’t come back. He can’t hurt you anymore.” Whatever else you needed to do to help Sam deal with what he had been through, you would. The things you might have to face together would no longer include hallucinations of Lucifer. 

Everything: @gambitwinchester @princessmisery666 @peridottea91 @logical-princey @beenlovingromansincedayoneish @fangirlxwritesx67 @waywardbaby @atc74 @shaniquacynthia @mariekoukie6661 @tumbler-tidbits @fandom-princess-forevermore @terrarium-jpeg @emoryhemsworth @crashdevlin @jules-1999 @mrsdeanfuckingwinchester @cosicas-cuquis @sammyimpala-67 @queenoftheunderdark @dean-winchesters-bacon @timelordy-fangirl2 @sweetness47 @hobby27 @awesomesusiebstuff @kickingitwithkirk @sandlee44 @supernaturalgrandma @dawnie1988 @volleyballer519 @outcastedangel @kdfrqqg @lizette50 @sorenmarie87 @lovealways-j

Sam/Jared: @girl-next-door-writes @stunudo @feelmyroarrrr @idabbleincrazy @evansrogerskitten @focusonspn @autumninavonlea @durinsbride @deansyahtzee @waywardnerd67 @fullmooner @sams-sass @beskaradberoya

[giuliafc]

Feeling Clowned

Ao3|| FFN

RATING: M for very mild sexual references

TW: PPD (Postpartum Depression)

It was a year since the defeat of Papillon. A year since Chat Noir had vanished. Left pregnant, alone and heart-broken, when Marinette solves the puzzle and discovers Chat's identity, she feels clowned. (Snippet July and LadyNoir July Day 6: Silence/Clown. Story wordcount 999 words)

Written by: JuliaFC

Beta: KhanOfAllOrcs, Agrestebug

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by (c) Thomas Astruc, TS1 Bouygues, Disney Channel, Zagtoon, Toei Animation. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

Written for the "Snippet July" challenge of the Miraculous Fanworks Discord server @miraculousfanworks AND for LadyNoir July @ladynoirjuly Day 6 — Silence/Clown. Let me know what you think!

oOoOoOoOoOo

It was Nino's fault. He returned from a trip from London, and handed her a copy of Vogue. Marinette looked at the magazine. A pair of forest-green eyes looked back.

Adrien.

Today marked a year since they defeated Papillon—a memory that would live forever in her nightmares.

——- Flashback ——-

After handing over M. Agreste and Mlle. Sancoeur to the authorities, her heart had broken for Adrien. It broke even more when they saw why Gabriel was fighting. Chat… had gone berserk. His fighting skills had gone through the roof the very moment he'd seen the coffin.

But in the end, he hadn't wanted to 'pound it' with her. The desperation that seeped through him was only comparable to her own elation, which died when their gazes met.

"What's wrong, Chaton?" she asked, but Chat Noir stayed silent. Instead, he hugged her so tightly that she couldn't breathe. She didn't know why, but that night more than any other time, he needed her. And she gave in to him. She felt the burning desire in him and, finally, she matched it with her own. She guided him to a dark corner, and they detransformed. One kiss led to another, clothes were thrown off, limbs became tangled, climaxes were reached in a synchrony of moans until they both collapsed in an ecstasy that didn't cure the pain, but maybe, just briefly, helped them forget it.

They dressed again, re-transformed, and with more kisses and promises of love, separated. That night had been the single happiest night of her life. But it didn’t last. A couple of days later, Marinette was listening to Chat Noir's message of goodbye. On her Bugphone's Voicemail. "Something's come up in my civilian life and I won't be able to transform for a while," he said. "But I'll keep an eye on the news and if you need me, I'll be right back. I love you, ma Buginette."

——- End of Flashback ——-

He hadn't been there for her. True, the news had been eerily quiet since Papillon's defeat, so Chat Noir didn't really break his promise, but… where was he the day two lines appeared on the stick? When all her dreams shattered, when she felt ashamed of her growing belly, when her mother started asking questions because of her morning sickness? When she moved out and begged Alya and Nino to take her with them? When she gradually isolated herself from human interaction? She left COUNTLESS messages to tell him how she was doing. What she was feeling. That the baby had kicked. That it was a boy, and healthy. That she'd seen him on the screen. That she was going into labour.

To make things worse, Adrien had also gone. The morning after Gabriel's arrest, his aunt put him on the first flight to London, without even a goodbye. So, in one day, she lost both boys she loved.

And now she knew why. As she skimmed through the interview in Vogue, it became clear as day.

"Adrien Agreste reveals about the Lady who stole his heart."

"Sorry, ladies, this heart is already under Agreste."

"I may never see M'lady again, but I'll never stop loving her."

Marinette looked at the word 'M'lady' on the paper in horror. Adrien was Chat Noir. Now it all made sense. His desperation. His disappearance. His silence.

She exploded in a low-throated laughter, her eyes shining with a light full of madness.

"What's so funny, Marinette?" asked Tikki.

"What's so funny, you ask?" she uttered between croaky laughs. Baby thought it was an amazing moment to start crying, and she stood up, picked it up and started feeding it, her frame still shaking from the laughter she couldn't contain. "’What's so funny’?" Marinette repeated in a baby-ish voice, her finger gently poking Louis's nose. "Maman's been clowned, baby."

The confusion in Tikki's eyes enraged her further.

"You all clowned me," hissed Marinette. "Master Fu in primis. But even you. And Plagg. You KNEW it was him since the day we faced Dark Owl. WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?" She shouted, and Louis grabbed more strongly at her breast, as if looking for comfort.

"Tell you what?"

Marinette laughed again. "That Chat Noir was Adrien fucking Agreste!" Tikki gasped and Marinette's laugh hollowed. "Why didn't you tell me when he disappeared, Tikki? I blame you and Plagg the most. And Adrien right after."

"Adrien didn't know," said Tikki quickly. "He still doesn't."

"Oh, he doesn't know?" she muttered mockingly. "He raves in a fashion magazine about how much he 'loves M'lady' and doesn't think to transform to check his messages. Not even once, in a year! I could have died, and he wouldn't know!" She groaned at Tikki's frown.

"Yes, I blame him. Fuck his life, fuck Gabriel being Papillon, fuck his busy schedule. One. Full. Year! He hasn't transformed ONCE!" She looked at 3-month-old Louis nursing on her, and for an instant, her gaze warmed up, to then harden again. "He has a great life over there, everything that he wants. And instead, I'm stuck with THIS! And it's all his fault. Why didn't he reveal himself to me? Why did he leave me alone?" Tikki tried to pat her head, but Marinette pushed her away. She sat in her nursing chair, sobbing. She sang a lullaby, using the words 'maman's been clowned' instead of the rhymes. Then, when Louis fell asleep, she put him in his carrycot and sat at her desk.

The gleam of madness in Marinette’s eyes scared Tikki. "Please don't do anything rash. I told you already: you're sick. You need to see a psy—" But Marinette interrupted her:

"I'll make him pay for what he's done." She wrote something on a piece of paper and didn't give Tikki time to argue. "Tikki, Kaalki, unify!" she shouted.

Just wait, Agreste. I'm coming for you. And you won't like it. Not one little bit.

"Voyage!" She grabbed the carrycot and jumped through the portal.

-----------------------------------

Author's Note

*ehrm* Hi!

Uh, er, about this story… This comes from a MUCH MUCH LONGER bunny that has been screaming into my hidden bunny trapping basement for about 3 or 4 months. This is a sort of prequel to it, because the story would start with the following scene.

It's a REALLY delicate subject, because some of you who had babies may have recognised it: Marinette in this story suffers from PPD (Postpartum Depression). She went through a lot since Adrien was literally abducted by Amelie. She loves her Chaton, but now she feels betrayed and 'clowned', especially by his silence, and feels trapped.

The story planned after this is quite long and painful (although there would be lighter moments as well), but I don't know how something like this would be received by the fandom, so if you want me to write the sequel, leave me a comment and let me know. I won't take the subject lightly; I had two kids and a miscarriage in between and I was at the brink of falling into depression myself, having been left alone with them, and with a husband who would make things worse. I know how important and serious this subject is.

I hope you liked the story anyway and will leave me a comment, even if you don't want a sequel to it. You know that comments are my bread and butter!

Until (hopefully) tomorrow, bug out!

[ketsuyuki-hibana-typed]

Ever since I know the fact that Sanemi seriously drunk on that respect women juice, I become deeply fall in love onto his character.

Also, I really respect to women who patiently carrying other life inside their bellies. I loved it when women get the attention they needed when they are pregnant. Patients hubby! Patients!

Shinazugawa Sanemi x Pregnant!Reader

(Warning: NSFWish; Sex Mention)

Sanemi has just came home in the morning after night mission when he heard rattling and choking sound from the bathroom.

He rushed to the bathroom, grabbing his sword in case it's a demon who attacked you.

It's not, he found you holding your body into the sink while panting. You covered your mouth, keeping the urge to vomit.

"(y/n)!"

"Sane- mi- It's okay, I'm just di-" Your voice was cut of with another vomits.

Sanemi was panicked, without thinking twice, he ran to bedroom, snatching his other big white haori and came back to you.

He wrapped you in his haori, carrying you out to Butterfly Estate.

"Hang on!"

When he arrived, the medic staff immediately took you off from him or else, he wouldn't stop shouting to them.

"Wind Pillar, your wife is in good hand now, let us take care of your wounds first. You've just came back from mission."

"Until I got good news from my wife, I'm not going anywhere."

"We know, but-"

"Shinazugawa-san." Shinobu took the lead, signing them to leave both of you. They nodded. "Your wife is in good condition, the symptoms are all natural."

"Symptoms? Natural?"

"Please prepare yourself because you'll become a father soon." Shinobu smiled and left, going back to your ward.

"I'm- a father?"

Shinobu escorted you out from the ward. But, she's not telling you that you're pregnant.

So when you discovered Sanemi on his knees, you immediately become confused and looked back at Shinobu.

She let out brightest smile and tapped your shoulder. "Take care the baby inside your belly, ok? Don't forget to consult here, twice a month. I'll leave you two alone."

You stumbled upon hearing that, before trembling and looked at your husband.

Sanemi suddenly stood up, and hugged you. You just realized that he's crying, his tears were dropping on your shoulder.

"I'm glad nothing happened to you."

"Sanemi, I'm pregnant." You whispered softly right at his ear. "I'm pregnant."

"I know." He tightened his hug.

When the news spreads amongst the Demon Slayer Corps, they all were in shock especially the Pillars.

Sanemi told them that both of you hasn't plan on having a child after married, not until both of you retired.

"Shinazugawa, do you have some sort of breeding kink or-"

"Talk again and I'll make sure to cut that tongue off from your mouth, Uzui."

Sanemi promised he will be a good husband, promised that what happened to his mother and his siblings will never happen to you.

He didn't want to be like his father. His mind was still fresh when he saw his father beated his mom, even when she still carrying Genya inside her womb.

No, not gonna happen to you.

When he's about to went out for mission, he will give you long lecture on how you should rest and didn't do anything stupid while he gone.

"Don't forget to eat. Don't walk around too much. No training, let those kids train by themselves. Call Shinobu if you need something, also.... probably Genya. Just call him."

"It's first trisemester, Sanemi. I'm sure I'll be fine."

"First trisemester is the most critical state." He kissed you on your temple. "I don't want anything happen to you and the baby."

But it's not you if it's not stubborn. You continued to train your students, quietly accepting mission when he was out.

And it affects to your second semester.

It all started when you casually doing chores and suddenly collapsed. You're lucky because your husband was nearby and was in time to caught you before you hit the ground.

"Did... Did you do heavy activities like jumping?"

"Um, I-" You hesitantly looked at your husband, and turned again to Shinobu's face. It's too late to lie now. "Yes, yes I did."

The Insect Pillar lets out long sighs and said, "You shouldn't do that. It's fortunate that your action, whatever it is, didn't result with miscarriage. I want you to be careful from now on. Collapsing might be continued, so please take care of your body."

Sanemi must be so disappointed. You silently walked behind him on the way on your home.

"What do you want? I'll cook for you."

"E- Eh?" You blinked in disbelief. "You- You're not ang- oww!"

"Of course I am!" He pinched both of your cheek, irk mark slowly appeared from his forehead. "But... Half of them is my fault though..."

You grabbed his hand, tilting your head. "No? It's not?"

"I left you when you needed me the most." He sighed and put his palm on your head. "I should be here with you, not going on mission. I understand it's hard." You unconsciously patted his chest, feeling more guilty for making him worry.

Sanemi wasn't so clueless. He knew how to handle pregnant woman from his experience taking care of his mother.

Ever since Sanemi knew you were gone for short mission while he went out for mission too, he ordered Genya to monitor you.

Genya didn't mind, not a little bit. He gradually checked you, escorted you to Butterfly Estate, and always stood by your side whenever you need him

"Genya, thank you so much for your help." You sat down on the engawa, he borrowed your kitchen and make teas.

"It's okay. I was so happy when Aniki told me to take care of you. Well, although his tone was more like ordering than asking, but I know his intent is good." Genya joined you, slowly pouring the tea into your cup.

"I'm so sorry. I will scold him when he came back home."

"Ane-san." He flashed his bright smile. "You were the one who make us being 'a siblings' once again. This is how I thanked you."

You gently placed your hand on your stomach, while looking at him. "The baby was excited after you said that." He chuckled.

"I hope you're always healthy, Ane-san. Aniki really loves you."

Sanemi might be not that kind but he always listened to your carvings.

Even though it's weird ones.

"Mitarashi dango but with miso soup." "Baked snack but I just want the head."

"What the hell is that." But he will make extra effort for it, making sure that it's edible for your mouth.

"Sanemi, your crow looks good too."

"WHAT, NO-"

Or-

"Sanemi, I don't know why but I just wanted to smack you right now."

"With lips, su-"

"No, with-" *SLAP* "My hands."

"WHAT THE- HEY STOP, YOU'RE ABUSING FUTURE FATHER!"

Sometimes, it's all about mood swings.

"Hey, I'll go to run groceries. What do you want."

"Nothing."

"Why are you suddenly become shy like this? You usually shout to me to buy you oden at 3 fuxking a.m."

"Shush, language."

He didn't know both of you still could have sex until Shinobu told him even though you're pregnant, but Sanemi isn't risking it. For this 9 months or more, he'll be patient. Your health and happiness are his priority.

"I was thinking about second child."

"No, we won't talk about it until you deliver the baby safely."

"You're right." You pouted and slammed your head at his arm. "I wonder if my stomach will stretch, leaving marks here and there on my hip area. Maybe, when we had sex, the mood will suddenly turn off because-"

"Well, I never said that I'm not into scar or marks." Sanemi turned his head, smirking. Your face reddened, your hand playfully smacked his head.

"Pervert." Suddenly, you felt your baby 'trying' to break free.

You guided his hand. Sanemi fidgeted, slowly touched your big belly. He could feel small bulge kicking his palm. He became excited, and put his ear on your stomach.

The beats, he could sense it. The baby will be fine.

"We will raise the baby, together."

Sanemi really hoped everything going smooth when you finally stepped on the last semester.

He worked hard on everything, providing your food, extra small futon, the clothes, checking you up gradually and else.

But not all things are according to his plans.

Oyakata-sama suddenly gave you and Sanemi a mission.

"I'm afraid that my wife will have trouble to move anywhere and will detain this mission."

"I want her to rest too, Sanemi. I know it's hard to bring the baby, but I don't have any choice. (y/n)'s ability is the only hope to solve this problem."

Can't they wait until his wife safely giving birth?

Of course not.

With one heavy sighs, he finally accepted Oyakata's request. When he told you about the details, you said that he didn't need to worry.

The mission completed without a single stretch landed on your body because he really protected you.

But, you suddenly sat down on the ground, holding your stomach, panting heavily

"Sa- Sanemi. I-" He looked at you in horror. Blood started to gushing out down there. He quickly carried you out from the forest, took you to the nearest town that hopefully has doctor or better, maternity clinic.

Luckily, he found one. He rushed inside and told everything about your condition to anyone who in charge. His voice still sounded panicking but he managed to compose himself. The staffs said that he could wait outside and quickly took lead of your body.

Sanemi sat down on the engawa with mixed feelings. He prepared for the best, and the worst. He gripped his sword, feeling more than ready to slash anything who disturbed his wife.

But he can't concentrate.

It's strange place, strange people he didn't familiar with. If he could be so honest, he didn't want you to deliver your baby here. He can't completely trust them to take care of you, he want you to safely giving birth in Butterfly Estate because at least, he knew you're in good hand.

He heard you screaming and groaning in pain, he had to stay calm and regained his sanity to stay focus. If he wants, he wanted to hold your hands and encouraging you, telling that everything will be fine. But he can't just barge in, you needed him to be your guard in case something bad happens.

And those anxieties were suddenly gone when he heard cries of a baby.

He ran inside, still gripping his sword. He saw his baby, both of your baby.

"Congratulations, Shinazugawa-san. It's a boy!!" One of the staffs was handing him his baby. He dropped his sword, tremblingly embrace his child onto his chest.

But his happiness quickly distracted when he can't find you anywhere in this room.

"Where is my-"

"Doc! We need your help, her body temperature rapidly decreased!!"

His heart skipped a beat. He tightened his grip on his son.

"Shinazugawa-san-"

"WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO MY WIFE?!"

"Please calm down. I promised I'll save her. Your baby needed skin contact, please keep him warm."

"I WILL-"

"No, please stay here. Keep the skin contact with your baby, I'll be back soon." The doctor ran back to another room, shutting the door behind him.

Sanemi was alone in that room, with his son in his embrace, still crying. He kissed his temple, wrapping the fabric around him to make him more warm.

He sat down, sagged his back on the wall.

Busy to mumbling prayers on his baby's ears while crying.

..........

It was 3 months ago, now you're in the house, carrying your baby while sitting down on the futon.

Sanemi peeked up from the bedroom door, you nodded, signed him 'It's okay, he's sleeping now.'

"How's your body." He kissed your forehead, his fingers slowly rubbed circle on his son's cheek. The child quirked a soft smile, still sleeping peacefully.

"I'm all good. Thanks to Shinobu. If she didn't come that night, maybe I will not-"

"Gaaa!! Hehe!"

Both of you suddenly heard happy gurgling down there. The child woke up. Sanemi looked at you, feeling a little guilty because his voice woke him up after you finally made him sleep. You just chuckled and kissed your baby.

Sanemi's fingers traveled around his son's, wiggling them while smiling. His child's laugh echoed thorough the room, heard like angel's symphony to him.

He hugged you along with his baby.

"Sanemi?"

This is his treasure and happiness now. He will never lose it, he will never give up on raising his child, - or maybe soon, children -, he will always protect his little family, his own pearl.

"Thank you for everything you bring to my life."

[cordonian-literature]

The Aftermath - Ch. 33

The Anointing Ceremony

Summary: Gabriel is anointed as the heir

Word Count: ~4.1k 

A/N: this is it! the next chapter is the last one :)

Warnings: none

*All characters belong to Pixelberry, except those that are unique to my story (I’ve also used some characters and fictional instances from Donna Tartt’s book, “The Goldfinch”)*

Tags: @captain-kingliamsqueen @gkittylove99 @lovablegranny @iam-the-kind-and-thoughtful @mom2000aggie @kingliam2019 @queenrileyrose @shanzay44 @cordonianroyalty @hopefulmoonobject @hopelessromanticmonie @twinkle-320 @amandablink @texaskitten30 @pens-girl-87 @ladyangel70 @sanchita012 @cordonianprincess @cordonia-gothqueen @queenwalton @yourmajesty09 @alj4890​ @choicesbutterfly​ 

I don’t know if the tags are working or not, but I hope I got everyone down! If you would like to be added or removed, let me know :) 

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

- Gabriel -

Ella and I were trying to see how many grapes we could fit into our mouths when Dad stands up from the picnic blanket. I don’t pay attention to him, but when Mom laughs, I turned to look at them to see Dad on one knee holding a ring box out to her. 

Ella’s hands fly to her mouth as she tries to eat quickly while I continue stuffing my face (I was on eight grapes). Mom and Dad laugh, then Dad slides the ring on her finger and they share a kiss.

“I thought you said you planned on proposing in the hedge maze?” Mom asks through a giggle. 

“I had to improvise,” Dad says. “I wanted to make it official so we could let the world know as soon as possible.” 

Ella swallows her grapes and goes to join the hug. I start rapidly chewing and wrap my arms around them, doing my best not to cough. After we finish everything in the picnic basket, Dad carries Ella over his shoulders and we walk back to the estate. 

Inside, Duke Bertrand runs up to us and wishes Mom and Dad congratulations. I wonder how he already knows that they’re engaged.

“Your Majesty, if I may,” Bertrand says, “I am absolutely elated at the news! I saw you as I was passing by the window in my office and well...” He pauses and clears his throat, letting his smile falter. “I would kindly advise that an announcement be sent out immediately seeing that the Anointing Ceremony is tomorrow-” 

Dad cuts in and through a large smile says, “Yes, Duke Bertrand, that would be appropriate.” 

“Wonderful! I’ll make it my top priority!” 

As Duke Bertrand walks off, Duchess Olivia catches Mom and Dad before we can go any further. She says she has something important to tell them, and the adults walk off together.

Ella and I make our way up to our rooms. My sister skips happily. 

“How do you feel about Mom and Dad being engaged?” I ask her, wanting to know what she thought. 

Ella shrugs and continues walking. “I guess it’s okay. Is it gonna be different than how it’s already been?” 

“Well, yeah,” I tell her. “We’ll be living together with Dad, have to go places with him. And with Mom.” 

“But we’ve already been doing that,” she states.

I take a moment to think about her words, and I can’t really prove her wrong. “I guess you’re right.”

The Beaumont estate is quiet since all the guests from the party had left the night before. Hunter and Heather had said goodbye to us this morning, and Uncle Leo had said that we would see them again tomorrow.

When we’re in our rooms, Ella says she wants to practice more dances with Countess Hana. We go around the estate looking for her, but don’t see her anywhere. We bump into Duchess Savannah, who tells us she’s left for the evening but will be at the ceremony tomorrow. The mention of the ceremony causes a wave of dread to flow through my chest.

The Duchess adds that Lord Maxwell and Aunt Rowan have left for dinner and that Bartie’s taking a lesson. Having nothing to do, we turn again towards the direction of our rooms. 

Before we get there, we see Duchess Olivia walking away. Figuring she must have just been where Mom and Dad were, we go in the direction that she came from.

Inside a room, We see Mom crying. Dad holds her to his chest. They haven’t seen us yet, so Ella and I keep quiet. 

Mom mumbles some things to Dad, but neither of us can hear it. There’s a deep frown on Ella’s face, and before I can stop her, she says, “Mama?” and walks up to her. 

Mom sits up, quickly wiping the tears from her face. She doesn’t say anything to Ella, but instead holds out her arms and collects Ella into her lap. 

I walk into the room and take a seat next to Dad. He puts an arm around my shoulder. Silent tears run down Mom’s face. I want to ask her what’s making her so upset.

After a while, she calms down, but the four of us don’t talk. Dad’s arm is around me and Mom, while Mom still holds Ella. 

“Everything okay?” I ask, hoping one of them would answer me.

“Everything’s wonderful, baby,” Mom manages a smile.

“Why were you crying?” Ella asks. 

“I was mad,” she answers. 

“About what?” I question.

“Just...” She takes a shaky breath. “Thinking about your dad. And Uncle Boris.”

Her words were directed at Ella, whose face falls. “Why are you mad at him?”

Mom doesn’t hesitate before quickly saying, “No reason, baby,” as if she’s trying to erase what she just said. She gives Dad a look. “Isn’t it getting late?” 

“But-” I try to stop them.

Dad pats me on the shoulder. I think he’s going to tell us to go to bed, but instead he says, “How about we end the night with a game? Or a movie?”

Ella’s face brights up. 

“We have to get up early for the ceremony,” Mom tries to protest, but Dad’s already picked up Ella over his shoulders. He puts a hand on my back and leads us towards our rooms. 

“Get all the sleep you need, love,” he tells her. “Meanwhile, we’ll be watching... what will we be watching, Ella?”

“Uh... The Lorax!” she cries. 

Could be worse, I think to myself. 

“The Lorax,” Dad finalizes. Mom stands in front of him with her arms crossed, and I can tell she’s doing her best not to smile. He leans forward to kiss her forehead, then we turn and walk away.

...

Mom wakes us up when it’s still dark out. Dad says we can sleep on the drive over, and I’m pretty sure he carried Ella into the car because she wouldn’t wake up. 

The morning is cold but quiet. We don’t talk when we get into the limo. Ella is still sleeping near the back, while I’m a few feet away from her. Mom and Dad are cuddled close, their heads leaning against each other. 

I watched the colors of the sky get lighter, signaling the beginning of a new day. But I wanted it to stay dark. I didn’t want this day to happen. I try to make myself fall asleep so I could calm down. 

But the closer we got to the palace, and the brighter the sun got, the less I was able to sleep. Maybe it was the annoying light. Maybe it was that my seat was uncomfortable. Or maybe, it was that I really, really didn’t want to do this anymore. 

I feel like I need to get up and run. I feel like something bad was about to happen. I want to tell the driver to stop, that we’re moving towards something terrible. My chest feels like it’s in knots. I don’t want to open my mouth or take a breath because I know I’ll start coughing. 

But I can’t suffocate myself. I open my mouth and start coughing and crying at the same time. Mom and Dad unbuckle their belts and rush to my side. 

The dread intensifies. “I don’t wanna do this,” I tell them. “I don’t wanna go!” 

“Why not, baby, what happened?” Mama asked. 

I couldn’t tell her what I thought. Well, maybe I could, but I don’t want to. I don’t want to tell her that I’m deathly afraid that I would do something wrong, and all the mean people at court would have something to say about it for the rest of my life. I don’t want to tell her that I had heard some of the things the noblewomen had said about her and Dad, and I don’t want to hear more of it. I don’t want to tell her that I want to skip the ceremony entirely. 

“Gabriel,” Dad catches my attention. “Breathe.” 

I can’t bring myself to listen to him. My chest feels tighter. I want to get out of the car.

“Breathe,” he says again, and starts breathing in a slow rhythm. I know he wants me to copy him, so as best as I can, through the tears and coughs, I follow him.

We do that for a while. For a moment I stop copying him and cry again; I felt like I was bothering him. But again Dad puts a hand on my shoulder and breathes with me. Eventually, the dread goes away and I feel a bit normal again. 

“Do you need anything?” Dad asks. I don’t open my mouth; I’m scared I’ll start coughing and crying again. “I know you’re worried, you have every right to be, but I promise it will not be as bad as you think it will.” I try nodding my head at him. “I’ll be there every step of the way. If there’s a moment where you want it all to stop, tell me.” I nod again.

Mom grabs me some water. The knots and nerve-wracking thoughts become smaller. Dad doesn’t leave my side. 

And when we reach the palace, I follow him as Mom and Ella go to their rooms. The palace is busier than I’ve ever seen it. Nobles pass by, rapidly whispering, quickly bowing in Dad’s direction, doing their best to get ready. Servants run around, carrying things from one hallway to another, making sure everything is in the proper place.

Dad keeps his hand on my shoulder as we greet people, attend some morning meetings, eat a quick breakfast, and make our way to the dressing rooms to get ready.

Watching him go through the routine of his day was calming. Before starting anything, Dad would ask me if there was something I need, and then asked if I want to leave and take a moment for myself. 

But I didn’t. The feeling of wanting to be near him was odd... but peaceful. Everything that Dad had to worry about flowed around him: passing by for him to solve it with ease, but never lingering long enough to bother him. He was in control of everything and he made people know that. I feel safe around him. He’s picked me up and scooped me away into peace.

We pass through crowds of finely dressed people while we make our way to the boutique. Inside, Countess Hana and Mom are talking excitedly. 

“Rashad and I went to speak to Neville yesterday,” she tells my mother. “We finalized everything! I’ll be staying in the palace for the time being, and I’m having servants pack my things and bring them to me.”

“And how did Neville react?” Mom asks. 

“He was surprised, I could see it on his face. There was some angry mumbling. But with Rashad there he didn’t have anything to say to either of our faces!”

“You’re finally single and ready to mingle!” Lord Maxwell cries out, wrapping Hana in a big hug. 

“She’s already been mingling,” Aunt Rowan says. “Duke Rashad is waiting for you outside.” She jerks her thumb in the direction of the door.

Duchess Olivia and Drake walk in together as the Countess walks out. Drake ruffles my hair and walks towards Dad. 

“Has Olivia told you everything?” Dad questions. 

Mom pulls me away to start getting dressed, but I can still hear Drake respond with, “Yup. We went to question Jessica this morning.”

“And? Did she have anything to confess?”

“Claimed that Boris had only told her what was happening that day I caught her with him.”

“We didn’t believe her,” Duchess Olivia states. “But she cried the entire time she told the story and said it was the truth. I suggest throwing her in the cells with the Russian.”

The outfit Mom hands me has many different layers. Every piece I put on made me feel fancier. After most of the stuff is on, I step out. Mom comes up to me and places something that looked like a cape over my shoulders. There’s gold on it. 

I look over to see Ella, who wears a rose-colored dress, a similar but smaller cape drawn over her shoulders. She runs her finger over the fur as Aunt Rowan fuses over her. Mom wears a cape, too, and the peach color of her dress is the same color as Dad’s sash on his dark blue military suit.

Mom finishes helping me and hands me a pair of shoes to put on. I take a seat on a chair, and she turns towards Dad and their friends.

“Drake, I’m so sorry,” Mom says to him. 

“Sorry about what?” His voice is heavy. 

“Sorry about everything. With Jessica. Boris.” 

They stare at each other for a long minute. Drake sighs and says, “There’s no reason to be sorry about Jessica. Don’t worry about Boris, either. He tricked all of us.” 

“But you were engaged to her. You loved her. Even if she was wrong for you...”

“Brooks, it’s better to be alone than with the wrong person.” 

Before anyone can say anything more, there’s a knock at the dressing room door. I go to open it, since I’m closest, and see that it’s Grandma!

She tightly wraps me in her arms, then grabs Ella into the same hug. When we part, Grandma goes around the room to greet everyone: hugging Mom and Aunt Rowan, while giving Dad, Drake, Maxwell, and Olivia quick nods. 

Once that’s done, everyone looks around at each other. Mom, Dad, Ella, and I stay in the room while the rest of them leave. Grandma turns to me again to ask how I’m feeling.

“Good,” I tell her honestly. “A bit excited. Also nervous.” 

“That’s okay, you’ll be fine” she exclaims, then turns to Dad. “I heard the news. I guess I should wish you two congratulations.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Brooks,” Dad says.

“But if you ever hurt my daughter again,” Grandma starts. 

“Mom, I need to talk to you about Theo,” my mother says. 

Grandma turns quickly. Dad leads us out of the room and we join Drake, Olivia, and Bertrand on the other side. 

“Everyone is in attendance,” Duke Bertrand tells us. “The Auvernese royals left last night and there’s increased security. Everything is in place.” 

Dad nods at him. Drake asks, “What’s going on in there?”

“She’s telling her mother about Theodore.” 

For a second I hope that Dad would go more into detail about it. I want him to explain what’s so important about Ella’s dad and Uncle Boris. My sister looks at me and raises her eyebrows. I shrug, telling her that I don’t know anything. 

The adults talk for a few more moments. The palace looks like it’s cleared out and there are only members of security and staff walking around. The guards made me a bit more anxious; seeing them made me think that there was something for me to worry about. But Ella starts talking to me and I’m distracted.

Finally, Mom and Grandma come out of the room. Grandma’s eyes are red. She pats Dad’s shoulder, holds Mom’s hand, and says a soft, “I’m sorry.”

Small smiles pass on the adult’s faces. I look up at my mother, wanting to know what she and Grandma discussed. Mom leans down to plant a kiss on my head and my sister’s. 

Duke Bertrand mentions that we’re about to be late. “The anointing hall awaits!” he calls, and leads us away. 

We pass by the lobby of the palace. Through the glass, I can see a large crowd of people cheering. I couldn't hear what they were saying, but they cry out excitedly.

We walk through corridors, up multiple flights of stairs, and through countless hallways until we come to a wing of the palace I’ve never seen before.

“We’re not going to the usual throne room?” Mom asks. 

“Tradition dictates that all royal heirs be anointed here,” Dad tells her, “in the original throne room.” 

“It’s a true honor,” Duke Bertrand states, a proud smile on his face. “One that will go down in Cordonian history... nay, the history of the world! Everyone will be watching!” 

Everyone? I think to myself. 

As Bertrand guides Grandma, Ella, and Drake inside, I try to take deep breaths to calm the anxiety that starts again. Dad notices and puts a hand on my shoulder. He matches my breathing until the panic disappears. 

“Ready?” he asks.

I nod.

Mom and Dad stand close behind me. The doors open, and rich music swells around me. People turn to look, and I freeze in place. There are smiles sent in my direction, and curious looks thrown in the direction of Mom and Dad. I see Hunter and Heather and their parents, Drake, Countess Hana, Lord Maxwell, Aunt Rowan, my sister, and my grandmother. 

I take a step forward, not entirely sure if that’s what I’m supposed to do. 

The closer I get to the throne, the more I notice my surroundings. There are nobles holding their house flags, one of them shouts out an introduction, though, through the thundering in my head and the loud music, their voices are drowned out. 

After the person finishes talking, people being to applaud. I look around nervously at everyone, but I’m thankfully met with kind eyes.

Halfway down the aisle, Duke Landon and his family hold swords above my head. I give them my best smile, hoping they wouldn’t drop the swords on me, and continue on. I was almost at the throne. It was almost over.

Near the stairs, I recognize some more members of the Great Houses. Duchess Olivia stands next to a crown. A Lady holds a golden scepter, and another holds a small vial of oil.

“We are gathered here today to witness Gabriel’s anointment as Crown Prince of Cordonia,” Duchess Olivia’s commanding voice says to the crowd. “This ceremony represents Cordonia’s unity, as we pledge our loyalty to our future king.”

A cheer rises from the crowd behind me, which is unexpected. The people are happy. For me.

“Gabriel Rys,” the Duchess turns to me. “Do you accept the title of Crown Prince, and all the responsibilities it carries?” 

Trying to sound responsible, I repeat her question in my answer, showing that I was paying attention: “I accept the title of Crown Prince and all the responsibilities that it carries.” 

“Lady Kiara of House Theron, you may now cross the heir with the royal scepter, that he may be ready to shoulder the station it represents.” 

I turn to Lady Kiara, and she does what Duchess Olivia said. The scepter glitters as it passes in front of me. 

“Countess Madeleine of House Fydelia,” the Duchess starts again, “you may now anoint the heir in apple oil.”

She puts a drop of the oil on my forehead, which falls down between my eyebrows and down the tip of my nose, dropping on my chin. It smells funny. I fight to keep a sneeze in. 

The Countess steps back, and Olivia picks up the crown. She faces me, and I bow my head slightly, allowing her to place it over my head. 

Dad had told me that it might be heavy, but that wasn’t what I was worried about. The crown fit perfectly on my head. When I stood up straight again, it didn’t tilt or move. I felt like I had just been given the final piece of a puzzle. I give a wide grin.

Duchess Olivia’s commanding voice heightens as she cries, “May I present to you the new Crown Prince of Cordonia, Prince Gabriel!” 

I let out a sigh of relief. The crowd cheers again. My parents’ friends and my sister surround me, giving me high fives and pats on the back. A photographer comes in front of us and snaps a picture. 

“Our first professional photo as a family,” Dad says to us. 

“So that’s it?” Ella asks.

“Well, you still have to be anointed as a royal,” Dad tells her, “but that won’t happen until your mother and I are married.”

“Oh, okay!” she cries. 

In the middle of the celebration, we’re led down to the main ballroom. We’re showered with enthusiastic congratulations, both for the ceremony and my parent’s engagement. 

Hours ago, I had been worried about what people would say to me or about me. But the nobles who come up to us say that they’re proud of me and excited for my future in Cordonia. Some of them even have gifts for Ella and I. 

Mom walks around to mingle with people. I walk with Dad and Ella, and we bump into Hunter, Heater, and their parents. 

“Congrats, kiddo,” Uncle Leo ruffles my hair. “You did good out there.”

“Thanks,” I say, as Hunter repeats the wish. 

“The nobles are under your control, huh?” Uncle Leo asks Dad. “I know some of them came to prove their loyalty to the crown after years of speaking against it. Having an heir changes everything.” 

“It truly does,” Dad says. “Not only will Cordonia be more stable, but the Great Houses will no longer dare to question my actions.” 

“They haven’t said anything about your engagement?” 

“Why would they say anything against their King? Or, for that matter, their future queen and the mother of the heir? That sounds borderline treasonous to me.” There’s a smile in Dad’s voice. I smile, too, when I understand what he's saying. He really did have everything under control. 

Uncle Leo chuckles. “I’m proud of you, brother.” 

After the party ends and hundreds of other pictures have been taken, Lord Maxwell and Aunt Rowan lead us into our rooms to get changed. 

Once she's in her pajamas, Ella flops onto the bed, but Aunt Rowan tells her to get up. 

We leave the room and weave through the hallways. It’s much later than we thought it was, and most of the guests are already asleep. We reach a pair of ordinate doors, which look like every other door in the palace, but on the other side of it is a large movie room.

The smell of popcorn and candy wraps around me. Mom and Dad are in the back row, talking to Lady Hana, Duke Rashad, Uncle Leo, and Aunt Katie. Drake, Bartie, and Hunter are picking out a movie, while Duchess Savannah, Grandma, and Duchess Olivia are near the popcorn maker.

“Thought we could all use some family-fun time,” Lord Maxwell says to us.

Though we had just watched a movie last night, this did seem fun, and I’m not about to complain. Ella runs towards the popcorn. Once she has all the snacks she desires, she finds a seat near Heather.

“Looks cool,” I tell Lord Maxwell as we walk towards Drake and Bartie. “What are we watching?” 

“Anything you guys want,” Drake says. 

“Can we not watch Disney?” Hunter asks. 

“Or The Lorax?” I say.

Drake laughs. “Alright, alright. Take your seats, The Lorax begins in a few moments.” 

Bartie, Hunter, and I roll our eyes and grab some snacks. The adults all take a seat near each other. 

When the beginning of the movie starts and someone dims the lights, the serenity around me lulls me towards sleep. I remember the uneasiness from this morning, and I almost laugh at myself for feeling that way at all. 

A couple of months ago, this wouldn’t have been the life I would have chosen. But looking back, I know that wasn’t up to me. The aftermath of the bombing brought my family surprises, but without it, would we all have been this happy?

Did Mom smile this way before? Did she laugh so carelessly? Did she used to have friends who laughed with her this way? 

Dad. I wouldn’t even have known him. Maybe before I was angry that he interrupted our family, maybe I thought that he was doing the wrong thing by trying to bring my mother to Cordonia, but everything ended up right. 

Through the sadness, desperation, and fear — fear that my mother might forget me again, fear that a strange man would take me away from Mom and my sister, fear that I would never be loved the same way again — came goodness and peace and family. The whole thing feels like a landmark: it’s led us all to a happier, more pleasant life.

[texassmashbitch]

Bottled Up~

Asahi Azumane x Reader !

Warnings: Angst, Fluff/comfort (because I won’t be able to sleep at night if the angst is not solved ཀ ʖ̯ ཀ) and cursing.

A/n: I feel like I could’ve done better with this story (┳◇┳), I wanted to switch the roles of the reader and the character. If he seems out of character I apologise, I’ll get better I promise d–(^ ‿ ^ )z. The Hc is based on the reader taking out their anger on our poor sensitive Asahi (ﾟ∩ﾟ). If my story doesn’t make sense I’ll slap my self to New Years day.

Asahi is a successful clothing designer stationed in Tokyo, you are his personal photographer and editor, so it’s only natural that you would both start dating because of the amount of time spent together.

You previously attended Shiratorizawa and came across Asahi during the Karasuno win against your school when you were a third year.

Let’s be honest, when you first saw him you thought he was a gang leader who just got out of jail but that didn’t make you treat him any different from others.

You watched Asahi from the side-lines, even though it was your first time seeing him a crush began to form because of how his physical looks had no relation to the big softie personality he had. As you continued to watch, you noticed he was not confident in himself and was very shy.

Fast forward 7 years, you and Asahi are both 25 years old, you’ve both been dating for 3 years and have been staying together in Asahi’s apartment.

Asahi decided to ask you out after he had finished University because he didn’t want you to feel lonely while he focused on his studies but you said yes anyways (I mean who wouldn’t).

Asahi works from home. He designed a collection of men’s crop tops which you were in-charge of photographing for next week’s Men’s Non-no. Everything was on track, the clothes designed by your boyfriend were in perfect condition,  the cameras were set up and you were just waiting for the male model to arrive.

Your mood had been good since you were picked to photograph for the Men’s Non-no and you knew that when you finished work your boyfriend would be at home.

Will everything go to plan? 乁(ᴗ ͜ʖ ᴗ)ㄏ

“Suga has the model arrived yet?” you asked your trusted assistant “He’s on his way up but I must warn you he is known for being a bit much” he gave you a sympathetic look, you let out a huff in response which made him chuckle. “The prettiest human to ever walk this earth has arrived” the model exclaimed walking through the doors “Shittykawa I suggest you show some manners unless you want them beat into you” his manager growled at him “Um hello you must be Oikawa and Iwaizumi?” you asked cautiously “Who else would we be sweet-heart?” Oikawa smirked at you “Yes we are and you must be Y/n? Sorry about him” Iwaizumi said while elbowing Oikawa in the stomach “Iwa that hurt” Oikawa pouted “Don’t worry about it, would you like to get changed into the clothes ready in your room?” Iwaizumi nodded and replied “Sure, we’ll head there right now” while shoving Oikawa who was distracted by your staff members who were fans of his. Oikawa had changed into Asahi’s designed clothes and was currently in-front of the camera posing, you were slowly losing your mind at how needy Oikawa was. “Iwaizumi I’m hungry” “Can someone get me a iced latte?” “Where’s a mirror I wanna see how pretty I look” “Y/n can we make some TikToks?” you felt a hand pat you on the shoulder “The pictures have come out really well, you can start to finish up y/n” Suga told you with a sympathetic smile “Oh thank fucking god” you  let out a big sigh. You finished up and said your goodbyes to Oikawa and Iwaizumi before they left Iwaizumi apologised for Oikawa’s behaviour and thanked you for withstanding him. Walking to your car holding a few pictures and concepts to show Asahi managed to be ruined by the sudden heavy pour of rain and this pissed you off even more. Arriving at your shared apartment, with emotions that were on the verge of exploding out of you, you entered drenched in water “Oh welcome back baby” Asahi approached you to give you a hug and kiss but you moved out of his way and kept walking “Is everything okay baby?” noticing your mood “Please not right now Asahi” you let out harshly “Y-You wanna t-talk about it?” he said quietly while scratching the back of his neck. Entering your shared bedroom “God Asahi just leave me alone, I really don’t need someone else bugging the fuck out of me today!” you say with your back facing him “O-Oh I-I’m sorr-” Asahi let out quietly “Your still bugging me Asahi just leave the room” you pointed out of your shared bedroom, when you turned around to watch him leave you saw how hurt he was by your words, you knew he wasn’t confident in himself and he was sensitive but you just had to take your stress out on the one person who loves you the most ‘Oh no, poor baby was just trying to talk to me’ you thought while watching him leave the room, crouching and putting your head in your hands “I’m the worst girlfriend ever” you say out barely audible before crying at the thought of how hurt Asahi looked at your words. You cried for almost 2 hours letting all the stress that had been bottled up flow out, after crying you went to look for Asahi to apologise to him “Asahi?” you say as you looked around your apartment but no one answered “Asahi, where are you baby?” you started to sniffle while still looking for him “Baby?” you found him in his work room drawing designs with his back facing you “Asahi, baby?” you approach him and peeked from behind to see his tear stains on the paper he was drawing on “Baby, I’m sorry for speaking to you like that” you wrapped your hands around his neck while standing behind him “I made you feel insecure in a place your suppose to feel safe and I’m very sorry Baby” “I was very stressed from work and shouldn’t have taken it out you, please, please forgive me” he placed his pencil on his desk and turned to face you still sitting in his chair “Oh baby no” you say when you see how red his eyes were from crying “Don’t believe anything I told you before” you say while kissing the corner of both his eyes “If I become too much for you to handle can you tell me please” he says to you “NO! You are not too much Asahi” you pout at him “I missed you y/n” he says while caressing your right cheek, he tapped both his laps for you to straddle which you did “I missed you too baby” you say while leaning your head on his chest and interlocking one hand with him “If you’re in a better mood, did you wanna tell me about your day?” he said while rubbing circles on your back with one hand and the other playing with your fingers “Is it okay if I do baby? I would love to tell you how much I wanted to punch this dude in the fucking face today” he chuckled while kissing your exposed forehead “Go ahead baby, I’m listening” he said, you told him from start to finish on how your day went “Then I arrived back at the apartment and here we are” you finished off only to hear soft snores coming from your boyfriend “Did he even liste- never mind” you chuckled while tucking a piece of hair behind his ear and pecking his lips “Come on you big baby, let’s go to sleep” you say while tugging a sleepy Asahi to bed, when you reached your bed and got tucked in, eyes still closed Asahi immediately pulled you into his arms and kissed your forehead “I love you Y/n” “I love you too Asahi, I won’t do it again” you said with a sigh “It’s okay baby, just go to sleep for now” he kissed you on the temple before you both drifted to sleep.

I totally understand if you don’t like it, I’m not even sure if I like it yet (¬､¬). I realised my stories are getting shorter and I don’t know if this is a good thing or not? ب_ب