#Wrestling Crack

[wileycap]

Imagine you're a big wrestling fan. You follow this one really dominant wrestler and you absolutely love her. You keep up with all the drama and you're super invested until one week there's just Bomb after Bomb.

First your fave dominates an event - duh, obviously, she's the best. Then during the part of the show where the announcer is like "anybody in the audience want to challenge her for a fat stack of cash", somebody actually does. (Obviously a tourist.) It's some kid wearing like a beginner outfit from a McDojo... and he actually wins?And gets the cash! And then the event just ends!?

You're buzzing. It's clear that this is like a storyline or something. You can't wait for next week's show. Except that there isn't one, because - as you find out through the gossip mill - your fave was actually the local billionaires' daughter who was competing in secret. And also kayfabe might not exist. And now she's gone and the billionaire is blaming a demigod (who's back from the dead? I guess?) for kidnapping her.

So, how come that means no show this week or possibly ever? Well, the billionaire hired the promoter (and a random McDojo sensei) to go after the demigod to get back his daughter (your fave wrestler!) and the guy just... packed up his entire promotion and left.

Some months later the war that's been going on since your great-grandfathers days ends. You go to a peace parade. And there she is: Toph Beifong, the Blind Bandit, giving the new Fire Lord a noogie.

Insane fucking storyline.

[mellosdrawings]

Guess what happened to my dog yesterday.

[samijey]

🍑👏☝️

[blizzardsuplex]

"Roderick Strong perhaps pursuing a career outside of wrestling as a dungeon master for kink.com..."

Roderick Strong chops Adam Cole's dick from Pro Wrestling Guerrilla's DDT4 2013, 01/12/2013

Bonus:

[eternallovers65]

"It's just a wrestling storyline" and then it's the most addictive, sad, profound, homoerotic crazy shit ever

[tracksuitlesbian]

I'm loving this whole schtick honestly 🤣 🍷🥩

[deviousdevilx]

WWF Monday Night RAW: July 17, 1995

oh Shawn

[erotomox]

"We got some calisthenics from Moxley..."

for @blood-analytics

[theundisputedera]

"switchblade! switchbla—"

"hoLD STILL HOLD STILL!!! KEEP YA FINGERS CLEAR WE DON WANNA LOSE ANY O YOUR LIL PIGGIES DO WE?!"

[dynamitekansai]

wwe: Are they though? 😬

[lurafita]

Catarina: "My magic was able to repair the most immediate damage, but as your body still has to recover from the magic depletion, the wounds will take longer to truly heal than usual. Which means lots of rest. And I mean real rest, Magnus. No running around, no brewing potions, no magic lessons for the young warlocks that somehow end up with them portaling you into a museum in which you rob some priceless artifact, no anything. Absolutely no strenuous activity whatsoever. I don't care how bored you are."

Alec: "Don't worry. I will tie him to the bed if I have to."

Magnus: "Oh, Alexander, you know I'm always up for that. But she just said no strenuous activity."

[mjfsupremacy]

My God, I just realised Hangman comes out of the babyface tunnel because he believes HE IS the babyface.

[punk-o-ween]

BYE NOT MJF SAYING HANGMAN HAS A CRUSH ON HIM WTF ? (hes right)

[slam-and-bam]

[itspileofgoodthings]

ALSO I am learning how to teach very introverted students, something my natural skillset as a teacher does not help me with.

[ariszed]

Zack Sabre Jr. vs Bryan Danielson pt 2

aka MY MATCH OF THE YEAR ALREADY BAYBEE