#Writer Speaks.

[fanfic-and-fandom-blog]

Can my family learn the meaning of personal space?

[fmdxjerome]

i wrote a very long comeback post but i just. too much fluff, not getting to the point. i don’t like it.

so bonjour. naomi here, resident sad boy aesthetic and greatest disappearance act of 2018. here to apologise to many people (i’m very sorry for disappearing so often and promising things with no outcome, it’s shitty and last weeks epiphany hit me in the head with it.) and reappear with news of a rewritten biography, almost done. two á three more chapters to go. some plots are disappearing, a lot of them actually as with a new biography comes small tweeks, i’ll notify. though, with said epiphany, i want to be honest here and say this is my last effort for jerome. i’ve seen many people depart from this rp for mental health reasons whether depression and/or anxiety, and i have noticed (and probably a few of you too) that after events of 2017 i’ve been struggling a lot, with being here, concentrating, writing everyone, even with enjoying kpop at times (which is bad if you write in a kpop orientated roleplay) and i don’t want to be greedy, which i have been, and which also has it’s personal reasons. i love jerome tremendously, (i can honestly say he’s my most beloved muse.) and from the muses that still reside from when i was more open and talkactive, i love his connections as well. but i don’t want to drag a corpse around and pretend its alive, that’ll be a disservice to the people in this rp, to jaebum as a faceclaim, to jerome as a character. so with weeks of obsessive writing for a biography i can be proud of, a theme revamp, new npc’s thrown into his life to discover him more, if after all that i can’t make him what he once was, i don’t think i’ll be able to continue him.

now, i hope this doesn’t scare off potential plots with people as i make it sound like i’m very uncertain. but, honestly i need to show honesty. and whilst i’m not super uncertain, i’m not super certain as well. so i understand if people are hesitant. 

if i do end up saying goodbye, whether this week still, next week or maybe somewhere in 2019 who knows, i’ll say it. i’ve had too many rps just let me go because of inactivity after i just start to hibernate, put my head in the sand if you will, but this rp has given me a lot to be thankful of, and it deserves a proper goodbye if i depart. if not when, we are giving jerome a fighting chance here. a pathetic one but a fighting chance non the less. so yes if i do depart i want to stay connected, as the people i’ve met here are lovely people and again there are too many people i’ve lost contact with in rp spheres either because i disappeared for too long or a group just dissipates.

so please, for now i have a dlscord for plotting, but if something happens, i have a dlscord for talking @ maenoji#6891

now, it’s terribly late/early, and i have a bio to finish. so i’ll be feeding my sleep deprivation with writing that as i tell everyone bonne nuit,

little ps; do the people who knew nari (fmdrizo) still have contact with her? i missed her farewell and i.. i’m always worried

[firstkingbestking]

[ casually ships LHan harder than FedEx from my secluded corner of the batcave ]

[fanfic-and-fandom-blog]

Either the city bus is super late or it ran super early this morning.

[fanfic-and-fandom-blog]

So updates may be slow since I have a pretty painful ear injury (cartilage is damaged and talk about a throbbing pain) and it makes focusing on anything pretty hard.

[fmdxjerome]

OK I WAS SO ANGRY WHEN I WOKE UP BC i LosT All mY INSant MESSagES PRocESS OnLY bc I FEll AslEEP beHInd mY LAptoP (a hazard dotn be ME) aND mY ASS forGOT TO SAVE BETWEEN WRITING but then i saw nari was back so im fine again bc ???nari (though my soft heart isnt getting my writing back so people who are i owe things in IMs- naomi is HERE todAY. to SLAY bc i sAY so. i cant rhyme. i have more to write in ims than i have rp wise how-)

ALSO

UHH EXcuSEZ-MOI?? aNOTHER PRECIOUS FRANÇAIS OUIOUIOUI BABY CROISSANT??????????? IS DAD BAGUETTE AKA JEROME GAUTHIER GETTING A SECOND BIOLOGICAL SON??????????????? (bc look.. person.. whoever u r.. 

imjuststatingfacts

im jking but rly-

i..i need to stop this dad jerome deal but who am i to denY my sons dadmenship

[fmdxjerome]

hello people from old and new! naomi is back in action with her son jerome. i’ve been stuck in my sisters house for the last weeks of my absence because she went on vacation and i had to take care of a sick rabbit who peed everywhere. i might have a disease now at the amount he bit me but what can you do. im joking. you might ask “but naomi doesnt your sister have wifi” yes she do but i’m an anxious wreck so spending my days on a first floor apartment  with my sister on the other side of the world w an infected foot had me fucke d upppp boiii but now i’m back in my own home and my sister + her boyfriend are safely home!! foot all fine!! and everyone is calm again!! so!! i can return with a good heart. i’ll be sliding in the dms of the people who bear emoticon’ed me 600 years ago and bc i suck w introducing myself to new people i’ll just hi!!!!! i think when i wake up i’m gonna do a “bio reading” marathon as i write bc i need to appreciate. also shit i need more threads wow i suck might see me replying to some open starters and def need to get back to plotting bc there are some people i’ve been dying to thread with ;^;

its like 6am now so i might b heading 2 bed now but under the cut there will be a reintroduction to jerome (one i promised in januari i believe) as im rewriting his bio (no major things change really its just minor things nd its time for an upgrade) so yes! hello (ims will come tomorrow as well ;3;)

also fact. mullet daddy jaebum is jerome rn dont drag him dont @ him its gone before you know it. probs after idolized its a look tho wow i love- a chic farmer (... the short bangs are tragic tho jerome honey i kno u liked them on wren but ur not wren. jerome: but i- me: no. this this not this jerome: :( ok fine me: fuego 

anyway before i pass out here is reintroduction. the triggers are; adoption, racism themes??? like yeah ok!! apologize if this is shit. hope everyone is having a good day though you all are great!

Jerome Gauthier aka Yuddy

-Anti idol

-Has an okay reputation but that’s because he’s smart about things.

-BC eyeing him tho *eyes fake friends with good reputation for him to hang out with* (hmu for fake friend plots. funny the person w the best rep of all actually likes jerome. bless jisoos christ. guess that praying on knees worked out in the end huh jerome. /dont/ sainthood is waiting)

-Talented™. (ask him to write songs for you) (Actually have a few songs in my library i want him to write but not sing so *eyes*)

-Passionate as fuck don’t mess with him in the studio (passionate all over tbh)

-Adopted and in search of his bloodlines

-Hoe but not really

-Actually, scrap that. Nicknames him JerHOEme

-Is actually lovely

-But acts like a shit

-Slips up and is soft to people sometimes before being a complete and utter asshole the next second

-bc soft jerome whOMST i only know deMON

-Suave Fuckboy who’s nonchalant about everything

-French™

-Will call you baby at some point in your life

-Signature smirk

-Egotistic???? Narcissistic??? a lil bit don’t stroke his ego

-Secretive™. not much info on his time in france

-Secretly a dad without children (except for his actual biological son insoo aka chorizo sausage who he goes to play ball with- i mean work on songs in the studio. seriously catch him picking up his son from soccer practice i mean shit no i mean- ok insoo is really his son dont fight me on this.)

-And also has a daughter an Oriental shorthair cat called Edith who he is so soft with he kicks out girls to cuddle with her. (one meow and he’s home)

- we support WISH hating jerome in this household. please people who have girls in WISH dont let them like him (or be a rebel and go against the mothers wishes but you’ve been warned)

-Dont let him get in your pants too like ask wren you dont want that (or i mean with the list of kinks i peeped maybe idk who am i to say what your muse wants or does not want idk im just protecting people from satan)

-Unlikely he’ll get in any pants now anyway tho bc he a proud shopper at papa juliens pizza and y’all some other brand type ish domino lookin asses NAH *throws hands up* rome’s in the house (no but guys. this is his soulmate THIS IS HIM. dISgUStiNG- )

-In 2016 interview took him out of context and it looks like he hates all idol rappers but is not true. He just doesn’t like companies making rap out to be like this thing you can do if you’re pretty and you can’t sing and he doesn’t like it when said pretty idols know nothing of it. he gets the grind but will side eye (benjy nd jerome already have a rivalry bc of this shit thank u interviewer)

-Dating scandals?? EHH. He almost had one with a Japanese model called Momo in the beginning of his career but BC did well of spinning them as friends and he legit had one with his ex last october which?????????? shit she touched his *spoiler* and it was *spoiler* . BC about to ban him from fashion shows damn. yoonah and him have to go to paris fashion week quick

-BC has yet to force him into a relationship tho. but damn he gonna be angry when that ever happens yoo. 

-Studied to become a cinematographer. Now is annoying as fuck during recording MV’s bc he butts into everything (BUT thats why his his mvs so AESTHETIC. eye for beauty bois)

-Holler at ya boi if you want a nice mv he’s involved like that

-Also to the girls who have been in an MV with Jerome.. know he probably flirted with you between takes bc during he’s grade a professionalism but he still a ho

-Actual catlady no questions asked (he feeds stray cats and gets cut up by edith when she smells other cats on him rip)

-Actual wife material no questions asked (to quote the great Halit Yilmaz during that time Jerome stood in the kitchen for hours making baklava and other Turkish treats for Halit’s Eid al-Fitr: “Shit, Jerome if you were a girl i’d marry you in a heartbeat.” and its true. we would ALL marry jerome. who says no is lying. )

-Smooth™

-Ok the ego thing btw its weird its an act but hes weird about it dont ask

idk what else to write ok short rundown of his bio as again i’m writing a new one and i cringe every time i look at my old one. im probs forgetting a lot but EYO ITS 6AM WHO CARES

CHILDHOOD age 0 to 10

-Born to a single mom who got fucked over by a smash nd dash dad. (we side eye Ok Chanwook in this household.)

-Moms family discouraged her from taking care of him herself so putting up for adoption it is.

-Very emotional not ok mom boram cry a lot pls. (got v angry too like boi if she ever sees chanwook again he can change his name to no dick larry)

-Adopted by a French couple called Lucas and Daphné (previously named Annelies). pretty kool peeps

-JK racist assholes who fetishize jerome a lot. PLEASE. the yellow fever runs deep. take him away from them,

-Raised in a small town in France and knew 0 Asians growing up. so thats nice

-Loves his adoptive grandpa to death tho (who’s he named after u3u)

-Actually hates the rest lol

-Ok uncle Rémy pretty cool bc he laughs at teen!Jerome shit talking his parents and aunt Camille. She a sweety ;3; a bit odd but a sweety #stanauntCamille

-Basically the people on the Gauthier side and born from Jerome and Clemintine are ok, the rest is shit (except for his dad Lucas. He a Gauthier but he shit)

-Junior/Senior relationship w granpda ;3; “Pépé!!” “Junior!!” *tiny jerome swings around grandpa’s neck* LOVE

-Grandma passed when he was 9. (he loved her very much and would always show her his drawings on her bed ;-;)

-Hard time adjusting at first when he was a tiny toddler. had a lisp talking french. ;3; baby rome

-young jerome had a bad case of the abandonment issues he literally held onto his dads leg for like 30 minutes before the teacher finally peeled him away from him. my smol boi

-Elephants. remember this. is important. /sob

-TLDR; biological mom didnt want to loose him. adoptive parents and dad are fucks. grandpa is kool. jerome had a good childhood until he didnt. thank u ignorance

TEEN YEARS age 10 to 20

-middle school very nice

-j FUCKING KKKKK EMO JEROME INBOUNDDDD

-kids are mean. teens are mean. young!jerome v lonely

-honestly he had no friends. except for like maybe this one kid on his sport called mattheo but he kinda a weeb so uhhhh ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

-the time comes that he feels uncomfortable with everything korean. he already learned korean along side french and english when he was growing up but now distances himself from further learning. he clings to french culture a lot and even to this day he refers to himself as french and european, and rarely refers to himself as korean or asian.

-feels disconnected from both though. its like.. his parents took his korean culture away from him by using it for their own amusement. it was not his to have basically. and french- a lot of people around him give the vibe he’s not “allowed” to call himself fully french. they see him as korean, korean-french but never just french. he feels very misunderstood. lack of identity and just not fitting in

-around this time (or earlier i’m musing still) his cousin Antonin (moms side) kind of fell out on him. like. wow. not good. fucked jerome up a lil. (issues intensify)

-inferiority complex inbound/ is he ok? no he isnt. he starts writing to get his emotions out.

-Blessed Freddy rolled in teen jerome’s life like: guess we need to do history homework together jerome: aren’t you gonna make a ‘do my homework bc you’re asian’ joke freddy: why would i jerome:

-they bond over music, freddy is the one who gets him serious about getting into it (we thank our lord freddy for this gift of life we call singer/songwriter jerome. pray to freddy 10 times a day *srry jisoos christ but ur out*)

-literally young jerome would be a great soundcloud artist in this day and age. he was like joji meets rei brown with more of an rnb tinge. he liked ambient because it calmed him.

-in his old bio thats still up bc im a slow writer his old name was some dumb shit like l.only DUMB its romeles now (get it.. jeROME LESlie gauthier. im smart)

-OK IM GONNA GO QUICKER NOW

-eMO FOR A LONG TIME BC OF LONELINESS AND OTHERING FREDDY IS HIS BEACON OF HOPE WE LOVE FREDDY IN THIS HOUSEHOLD!!!!!!!

-had a big ass fall out with his parents when he was around 15? was like “UHHH FUCK Y’ALL” and moved in with his grandpa (he was very disrespectful like damn boy but you know what. i support)

-best decision of his life because grandpa v lonely after his wife died and Jerome^2 is… so soft.

-Jerome dancing/singing to old tunes and being engrossed with old movies

-Learning how to cook ;3;

-I mean bc his middle and highschool were in Laval he spend a lot of his time w his grandpa already so he already had a bed and ;-; #jerome^2

-Halit rolls into his life. Braces, huge smile, lil prepubescent stash ohmygod. My child.

-BLANC is born. Freddy/Jerome/Halit’s musical trio. Stan the Three Musketeers

-Found his first best friend and a purpose in Freddy. Found a home in Halit. (sob)

-Finds solace in rnb and hiphop. People start noticing him because of it. Writes songs and performs them in café’s. Found his niche. 15 to 19 where his “best”  years

-THE BIG MOVE. After a concerned halit mom, a proud freddy mom and a “WHAT THE FUCK JEROME NO DONT GO” jerome mom they pack their bags and PARIS HERE WE COME

-Enter ex who haunts his life, Seo Yumi aka Marie (now model, v pretty, makes me cry)

-Spots her in the summer doing yoga in the park and boi he an assman so he got fucked up (jk he saw her face and was like wHAT love at first sight

-enrolls in film school, meets her there again and wow falls in love hard like wow calm down boy

-Dating~~~v possessive not good at ALL cALM DOWN JEROME

-ok he got his issues nd marie was the first one who openly listened to his problems and understood and made him appreciate his korean heritige bc she’s korean and showed him cultural aspects without the gross fetishizing that came with his parents and he just- he got intense ok. he already got a v intense personality so- still not good tho he needs to dial it down

-she thought so too and like after a year she was !!!! what the fuck. she is not one for serious relationships but jerome was like ehhh why not in the beginning its v nice to hear nd be seen as the most beautiful ok but then it got suffocating but instead of breaking up with him she kept him around. he a safe haven ya know. reliable. someone to built on later. *i wanna say she also didnt break up w him because his emo stories but marie,,, eh...* (funny tho like she got a thing for bad boys so she just “this is the fifth time you called me beautiful just degrade me lil like choke me idk” and jerome just “w-why would i do that you’re beautiful i dont want to hurt you” ah *looks into the future* ohhowthetableshaveturned.mp4 )

-Marie cheated on him the second she got the chance which was when jerome went to america w his bros

-Got offered a job as a songwriter when in ny. Wouldnt think he’d take it but after getting kicked out of school for beating the shit out of the guy marie cheated on him with and with marie out of the picture nothing held him back from starting a new life.

-TLDR; emo era. silver era. emo era 2 emo harder

ADULTHOOD age 20 to now

-Seoul make way for the rise of YUDDY™

-the name yuddy is from the film days of being wild. the character is kinda yuddy-ish too so he saw the film again and yep. thats my name

-Fuck_love.mp3

-Visits his orphanage. they like “nah boi u aint got no papers boi”

-Parents can give him access to his birthmother btw, aren’t doing it lol

-EMO

-Drinks. Sleeps around. Gets a reputation. You kno how it is. (gr8 ride tho. highly recommend. 5 out of 5 stars on yelp)

-SMASH ND DASH. Chanwook is that u??????

-One girl who he got with multiple times reminded him of Marie tho and that fucked him up for a bit (PSST ITS A PLOT WINK SO IF YA GIRL OF AGE IN THE 2013′S HMU BC ITS DRAMATIC HE GHOSTED THE SHIT OUT OF HER)

-Writes a lot of songs, a few for BC (knight baes). BC like *eye emoji* who dat boi who him iz

-Gets sign w BCreate and is like eyy life pretty good

-but lmao he debut and oh who’s that pretty girl promoting that lipstick?? oh.. its marie ;3;

-imfine.jpeg

-Joins main label and literally joins w a blessing stream limbo on spotify

-wgm era was a great era of jerome lmty his hair was great, shared cute personal things, manager was happy, slept with his best friend, was married to a sweet beautiful girl ya know the good stuff  👍 no im not crying you are

-triple fantasy era was awful we dont talk about that he looked like his brother and i’m still emotional about him wow. 

-instagram is a great song

-Interviewer: u mention an ex in ur song tell me more Jerome: *SWEATS*  

-Marie: my short hair DOES look pretty thank u babe ur red hair was cute too <3<3

-The fact she linked to him now is spook

-But ok he still flirty, still daring, still yuddy™ but definitely less of the whole “sleeping around” thing now bc he… he uhh closetoyou.mp3

TLDR; he turned into his dad but romeo is rising AND HE IS SCARED!!!!!

also never forget jerome is the messiest king in this ok non y’all are as messy as him. he fucked his ex’s friend oK THERE IS NOTHING MORE MESSY. dONT COME FOR HIS CROWN

[fmdxjerome]

hello ono i didn’t poof i hibernated like a bear in the dead of winter for a bit because i got spooked by something and didn’t realize so many days had past. i need to get my act together ik. i’m getting there!! there’s a lot of things i need to respond to but if anyone wants to write with me please reply with a  " ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ “ because it’s fitting. i’ll shoot you a message now or when i awake from a nap (as its 4am!). trying to get back into the swing of things. i’m sorry for having such bad activity and for letting people wait. truly am. 

all ‘round suave baguette jerome gauthier needs to rise again! 

[fmdxjerome]

*naomi pokes her head in after disappearing for the 600th time* bonjour 

family things where the reason i was so m.i.a. this past week. but i’m here now and i’m going to follow and unfollow people. update some things (like points, plots and tag lists) and head into ims. the good things. sorry i keep disappearing, it’s a weird time. i hope you all are doing good though. people who i have not talked to yet, i’m sorry i still haven’t introduced myself to you all. i’ll gradually work on this. people who i plotted with before, you know i’m gradually trying to get back to that too. i’m very out of the loop with everything.

though! working on some things. writing, photoshop, things, yeah.

but that aside i kinda wanted to take the space of this ooc post to elaborate on the headcanon i wrote yesterday? because? wow. uh. what the hell was that. i wont talk about the topics of the story itself so dont worry if they are triggering to you, i wont be mentioning anything in here.

i just. i started writing the headcanon because my inspiration for anything else was nil. i had things done for my starter (things that had to go out before it for the starter to make sense) and i was preparing to write but nothing came out. and i saw the days ticking by then so i thought “a headcanon will give me something to put out as i dont want to loose jerome but also don’t want to go on hiatus again”. i thought it’ll be like 1000 words and just explain seulgi and chanyeol a bit but it turned into that. i kinda got sucked into it. like, very badly. i wrote it in two days and two nights with little sleep and a lot of tears and it fucked me up but not in a bad way persay (not in a good way either but). after my hiatus i’ve been all kinds of weird with jerome? i haven’t known how to put him out there and advertise him as a cool dude to new and old people in here and i blame my mood for that? because when i was all meme kid 2000 it was easier to thrust him into people’s dm’s, but then after the hiatus i’ve been so goddamned serious about everything that even the funny posts i try to make dont make it to the blog because i think about them too much? (honestly. i have a backlog of memes guys.). then i write that, start writing that with the beginning and end in mind and it’s so goddamned dark but it gets my emotions out and makes me feel more intrigued to flesh out jerome. it relieves me a bit. 

because the thing about jerome is that family is one of the most important things for him. and exploring chanyeol, who had everything jerome had wanted when he grew up (to be raised by a mother who looked like him and loved him), made me find jerome again. it’s the comparing of lives that do it, how two brothers that came from the same prompt live such different lives because of the polarizing answers their mothers gave to one of the hardest question in life. but then again they have so much the same; the drinking, the faces, the laughs, the ridicule, and so much more. they’re more like twins than they are brothers, just years apart and not quite the same.

(there is a reason why *if you read the story* i pinned their situations against each other often, give the perspective of jerome’s life whilst giving context to chanyeols)

and i dont know if jerome will ever know about chanyeol, meet seulgi, find a connection with his mother, feel a bond with his sibling (who’s connection form is almost done, i’m hoping for a sister) or find the bad of himself in his father but it’s the start of exploring this part of jerome’s life, his bloodlines, that get me so much more into jerome’s story. because it is such an important piece in his life.

and look, you might think “but thats marie!” if you look over his blog or read his bio (please dont. its ugly.), that she’s the most influential thing in jerome’s character as she’s the one who basically created “yuddy”. and yeah, she’s important. he still gets anxious when she teeters with the information only they know and still gets furious when he sees her face. but it’s family that starts it all. 

he wouldn’t be as searching for warmth if it wasn’t for the fact that he views himself to be abandoned when just a baby, which his mother did with all the heart break in her heart. he wouldn’t be as proving and intense if it wasn’t for the fact that he feels like he has just one moment to cement himself in someone’s memory as something to desire (whether its about music, lust, love, etc.). he wouldn’t be as afraid of loosing important people in his life if he hadn’t lost the most important one of all.

also, he wouldn’t be as natural with the flirting and the charming smirks if it wasn’t for the fact that his father had that natural allure to him, too. had that bad treatment, too. had that booming confidence, too. and had that selfishness, too. (i villainize chanwook a lot. but he was just a guy who didn’t like commitments, he wants the fun and nothing else. hmm doesn’t that sound familiar.)

yuddy was a reaction to marie, but made possible because of chanwook. hey, thats pretty deep.

anyway, what also was interesting with exploring chanyeol was the fact that jerome’s biggest wish was to be able to look at someone and recognize himself in it. with his adoption family he obviously couldnt do that. and to add another layer in his hometown there were no korean faces, no ethnicity he could belong to. (i dont know how it is in legit laval and martigné-sur-mayenne as i am just a dumb kid who only has the internet to find things out BUT as i live in a western european town *obliviously naomi you’re dutch* thats pretty big and those towns arents the biggest i can use my own experiences and grab the data/information i can find on the internet to create young!jerome’s school and daily life environment.) but he could live with that if he just had a mother or/and a father he could look up to and see himself. there have been days where he’s been bullied for the shape of his eyes or the colour of his skin, there have been days where he’s been fetishized for them too, and if he was allowed to look up at his mother he could see the same pairs of eyes stare back at him. and if he’d look at his father he’d see the same coloured skin. he’d feel more at ease. but he sees blonde hair and peachy skin instead, sees hazel eyes and different noses. add a DEEPER layer and he can’t seem to find where he gets his ugly wide laugh from, or his aggression when provoked. the gentle touch to the things he loves. the intensity of passion. the greed of selfishness. he doesn’t know where the traits come from, who gives him those traits, or if they are purely his own. and he truly wished he did.

and with that as he stands on stage now he is unaware that he makes two women cry every night. blissfully unaware that he has two mothers look at him and see the man that left them but see their missed sons too. he knows nothing of that, and so he knows nothing of the impact he’s making with simply existing. (boram looking at jerome is still very ambiguous in my mind though as her kid can appear in roleplay but seulgi’s view is pretty cemented)

okay shit this kind of turned into some weird exploration of jerome? i started writing this like 6 hours ago what the hell. i’m so slow. maybe this is helping me too with making that re-introduction thing i still have to make. great. well what you can take from this is that jerome has a definite baseline when it comes to his personality and i explored that in chanyeols story where he was the one who got it yet felt undeserving of it?

it’s affection. his baseline is affection. his baseline is warmth. for him as a person, a real person, his person. and not for anything else. and it’s nice to look at the people that gave that to him, the people that didn’t and the reasons behind it.

his biological mother couldn’t give it to him because she gave him away before she could. (the only exception being the first moment in the hospital room 26 years ago.)

his biological father couldn’t give it to him seeing as he didn’t even care to know him.

his adoptive parents couldn’t give it to him as they only saw him as a prop next to jade vases and ricepaper fans.

his first love marie couldn’t give it to him even when he thought she could, but then in time he realized she never loved him for him. realized she never loved him at all.

his grandfather has given it to him, as he sang with him to old tunes and learned him how to cook. his grandmother did too before she fell away.

frederic and halit gave it to him, freddy when he cemented himself as his first closest friend and halit when he pulled him along and shared his family with him. they both gave him a home, and they both gave him the concept of best friends.

julien too gifts it to him now, as he has poked through the shields that is yuddy and has never stopped grasping at the heart that is jerome.

its interesting. it’s all interesting and i’m kind of content that i threw this headcanon out there? or wrote it. (even if not many people will probably read it because of the content matter or because its dumb long or other reasons) because its really a start for me to explore jerome other sides more, the other important things. with the marie story half way finished and her changing in severity in his life, it’ll be interesting to further explore the facet that hurt jerome the most. bloodlines.

ok i got to stop because literally no one is having time for my wall of mess i mean wall of text and its getting way too late/early whilst i wanted to reply to some dms so im just going to grab my phone and start typing there. until i fall asleep. which honestly can be in a few minutes as today was stressful (my cat couldnt poop and i cried lol i’m actually a mess.) 

ALSO if you read the story, the program seulgi watched when she saw jerome for the first time was You Hee-yeol's Sketchbook when DEAN was on. and the songs she heard where HALF MOON (D) and ORDINARY PEOPLE. (which are probably one of my favourite performances of dean.) easter egg. or something like that i dont know-

ok naomi out

*uses a gif of my sweet winter child as i haven’t used one in ages*

[fmdxjerome]

naomi can’t keep promises because family things and a bad sleep schedule. please leave your message after the beep.

no but. sorry i said i was posting again last thursday and then fell off the earth for a few days. i’m working on everything at the moment and certain things in real life have been needing my attention. so. the reintroduction might come a bit later as i want it to represent jerome well (and try to throw humour in it otherwise it’s just a wall of bulletin points) but also to focus first on getting a reply out. so yes. do expect something on the dash in a bit (i say as i start this post with saying i cant keep promises at the moment. but honestly it’s done in my drafts so i can’t fuck that up.) followed by something that’ll be posted later seeing it will be the driving force of a starter i’m planning. my first starter in like... 5 months? it’s a messy one too. ah, after a good promotion period and the high of being high on the charts he needs to crash a bit again, can’t have him be too ok with himself now can we.

talking about instagram though.

the music video is so beautiful, so jerome and it fits so much. dean looking out for me. good guy hyuk. giving me things to work with. (dont bully jerome for the grill though. halit, previously named khaled, is going to bully him enough for it.)

also to add;;  if i talk to you privately. (which i’m working on answering right now)  i’m sorry if i sound awkward or if my sentences look awkward i don’t try to be but- yeah. i feel very nervous and awkward at the moment. it’s been a while. so i apologise in advance.

[fmdxjerome]

uh. i’m back? it’s very early here in the netherlands right now and i haven’t slept so technically i’ll probably return in the evening but. long time no talk? i’m a bit of a mess still (very chaotic now, too) but it’s been going and the beautiful messages i got from you all warm my heart still. i- thank you. (to people who’ve messaged me privately, i’ll get back to you now or if i can’t keep my eyes open for more than 3 seconds, later. it’ll probably be the latter because my eyes are burning a bit. but maybe? ah.) i love you all very much and i’m very grateful for the famed community. you guys are lovely. thank you again.

i’ll post a re-introduction to jerome in a few hours because in these 4 weeks of not writing him, the last 5th one i started tweaking a lot and with the writing of a new bio it’s.. new (nothing drastic changed, though. he’s still my nonchalant boy.) and my first reply of the year will hopefully be out then, too. also other things i need to do but for now, new people who aren’t really new anymore. uh. i’m naomi and i have lots of new plot ideas but those will be seen later probably. i dont think i’ll be that talkactive this week because writers block and not really interacting with people for over a month has kind of made me grow like 10 times nervous to tackle a lot of people to talk to. but. i’ll try my best. i’m excited to meet you and interact with you all.

i’m happy to be back and i hope people have missed my son or me on the dash. i sure have missed you guys. hope everyone had a nice holidays season and a good new years eve, followed by better days, too. 

uhm.. also.. quickly. to the people i had plots with or threads or things before.. everything i’ll try messaging you all after this nap and the rolling out of new content. yes. 

okay i’m sleeping now. i think. goodnight and talk soon;;

[fmdxjerome]

Hello new people!! I’m trash in IMs so if i dont get to you in the next week i’m throwing my love at you now

also a little bit of a tracker because I’m starting to get drowned in things- 

What I owe:

- @fmdxsamsoo para (aka samsoo: *looks down meekly* sorry ;^; jerome: fuKC) - @fmdjulien city of angels  - @daxfmd tokyo - @fmdhanli osaka - @fmdxyoonah starter (finALlY im working on it mY lOVE)

Whats owed to me:

- @fmdtaeyong another lonely night - @fmdjulien life in pink - @heerafmd out of the zone - @fmdwren read at 10.34pm nd i’ll make it up to you

i think... thats it... like... idk.. again im drowning bc my threads r all really old lmao so ????????? nd a lot of people left nd came back nd idk?????? pls if i forgot???????? remind mee??? im??? 

pls anyone tell me if u want 2 drop something i get it bc again a lot of things r really old nd ?????? i can c some looking really weird now nd not really working???? 

IMs.

i literally have a sticky note with all y’alls names on it from who i have talked to and who i havent. complete with little scribbles of plot ideas and people jerome might vibe well with and not well with. i just need to get to sending messages nd replying rip. and now with new people coming in and people leaving i got to update it but seriously my sticky notes r really professional i mean:

i mean peak of professionalism right here. 

anyway- right now this is my life as well:

all solo shit which isnt done yet rip so ?????? (also i kno the cover festival is long gone but like shit its over 2000 words nd it ties into jerome bday para pt 2 so i cant let this shit go fam)

bUT iz all good fam when im on mobile i’ll try and get to the ims and when im on the laptop im working on replies nd my solo shit nd eyoo im a-okay

/save me plays in the background

[fmdxjerome]

when u miss ur sons birthday bc of a virus scare [ which only happened bc u were tryna download a vlive for said birthday ] and u get rly upset. tbh birthday boi jerome gauthier was just sitting alone in his apartment w edi like:

“happy bday 2 me”

so its not lyk people missed a good parti or anything [ tho if anyone wants to gift jerome a present u can send it at: jerome gauthier, rly depressed bc of adoption street, 2578 gangnam, seoul. i expect a best dad mug from insoo  nd a cursed item from sooyeon ok thank ] 

ok but seriously i had something planned 4 his bday so i’ll finish that today if i can [ plus finish my samsoo reply bc ily yaz ] nd rip. i’m also finally updating jeromes bio which fuck i started and i cried lmfao omg what the fuck jerome. i cant deal w writing about baby jerome nd mommy boram having 2 let go of her chiLD. rip me,

pls in the meantime send ur love 2 jerome he needs it at 25 yrs old he’s an emo bean who is sad bc of his adoption, sad bc of julien, sad bc of marie, sad bc of life, nd sad bc ??? he just sad pls someone hold him that isnt his cat- 

[fmdxjerome]

sooyeon: *releases beautiful song produced by SONzo and written by BAElien shin*

jerome:

me:

[fmdxjerome]

bonjour bonjour  ♡

my activity has been abysmal at best and i apologize for that- i’m working on it. everything has been a little weird and i end up like writing things all over the place so i have like things done for 30% each and ??  ( lit.. i have like four solo paras in my drafts because i keep getting muse for stuff, plus the event solo para about the song covering, the washlist of replies i still owe are also there, the two headcanons! /also an ask from my honest hour a few months.. wow. the sloth is really my spirit animal./ and.. i really need to edit jeromes bio because i notice some odd things and its confusing and i dont like it.) so tomorrow (or in a few hours rather) i’ll try and zone into one thing and finish that before finishing the rest. hopefully that one thing wont be the solo paras because... look. one is the tokyo marie situation and i cant deal. as the mom of my beautiful french son i cant agree with how she treats him. the second one ALSO revolves marie but differently like it involves a friend of hers and the idea is.... really explicit and i dont even know if i want to post it when its done because oh my god. its explicit. but it kind of gives insight at how marie feels in relation to jerome. the third one is jerome’s inner workings when writing icarus and the fourth... might end up a lil mature as well but i dont know. its like a snapshot from the past and its nice. i dont know if i will finish it though, i’m not really sure about it. but all the solo paras are not really me giving people some threads you know? plus my writing cant be that good that y’all wanna read my trash like that. so. i hope my muse is with a thread! or multiple threads! just not at the same time.

also.. i noticed i havent interacted with a lot of people out of character and thats not nice i dont like it. the sole reason for it is that i’m a chaotic who can’t keep her ims clean so i get overwhelmed but i’ll try and introduce myself to the people who’ve literally have been here for like 2 months now and im just ( ;n; ) TT 

so yes! bonne nuit mes amours ;3;

[fmdxjerome]

feeling a bit shitty still but trying to get in the swing of things again. hello new people. welcome welcome- ah. i feel i missed a lot in a single week. catch me up on the happenings-

but hey anyway what i owe under the cut my loves. 

@fmdxluna - paragraph

@daxfmd - paragraph /tokyo

@namjoonfmd - paragraph

@fmdhanli - paragraph /osaka

@heerafmd - paragraph

-  starters -

@fmdxsamsoo - paragraph /tokyo

@dohyunfmd paragraph /tokyo*

@miaxfmd paragraph /tokyo*

@fmdxyoonah paragraph 

*these also can be set a bit later in time but i’ll dive in ims to talk about it.

to my little list i add

part 2 of my marie story 

something something tokyo related

??something something icarus related?? 

remaining headcanons. which are 3. i feel it can only go downhill from here length wise oh no. did you know the julien one was apparently nearing the 3000 words? i dont know what happened. but it was nice.

if anyone wants to drop a thread because so much time went over it by the way please tap my shoulder and tell me. same goes with threads that are not in my ballpark right now. i’m very understanding. 

that being said. i’m back and half ready to roll but a 5/10 is a barely passing grade here so that’s good enough. i should sleep now though. and i might but who knows-