#Y’all I don’t know how I can manage to write hundreds of words for headcanons and yet I am STILL struggling to write a complete fic ;-;

[dragon-queen21]

Hehehe.. hehehehe

Im back.... (Hope you're having a nice day!!!)

... thank you for the ysopp idea because im totally making it so he's trying to deny himself the idea that sanji could possibly ever ever be ill, and tries to gaslight himself bc he's terrified of the illness the baby may have... hehehe...

Ilove strawhat angst i say sillily!!! /non serious

But i also, would LOVE to yap about possibly all the baby strawhats (i dunno how u feel abt padded regressors but uh.. theyr mentions.)…

UH ANYWAY!!

I kinda feel like out of all the strawhats, i think only luffy and sanji would be padded littles

Luffy bc he’d simply forget, which i see alot in other fics with hyperactive littles i am not like, in ownership (???) of this hc.. but i also feel like luffy would have like a younger middle headapace in like 5/7 so its like its okay..

(This is everywhere bc i hust wanna yap and i… i like yapping to you bc you have awwaome ideas ^_^!!!)

But er, on that i feel like nami would be a middle regressor being anywhere from like 7-9??? Younger when she has the chance.. also that she bought a giant tangerine that she loves to lay on in little space !! (Also little her has a fear of fishmen so sometimes when jinbe gets a little too close she’ll cry 😞)

Nd also robin being a regressor fills me with joys. Um 4 yr old robin for the win!! (Her range is prolly a whole load older —> 3-14 i thinksie？）Nd caregiver franky who obviously favors robin with building her toys nd such!!!! She doesnt cry often but wheb she does its never a tantrum, simply quiet tears and being cradled by franky. She isnt bothered by much.

Little zoro >.>!!! I think i mentioned it before but he refuses to admit he’s ever littler than sanji, so sometimes when sanji regresses, he’ll regress too bc he knows he’ll usually be in a bigger headspace than sanji. (Sanji doesnt mind, he likes having a bug brother.)

But i think zoro would regress to abt 4-10 maybe? Usually being a little higher because he just.. does. Also i think he likes teethers compared to pacis, or chewlery simply cause he thinks pacifiers are for babies.. and he’s not a baby!! (He is)

HAHA!! Baby usopp. I think he regresses to anywhere around 7. But he also goes like way way low sometimes. Like to 2/3.. he likes to watch franky build stuff when he’s tiny, and franky will give him little tasks!!!

And finally 🙏🙏🙏 (SORRY THIS IS SO LONG)

Sanji. Littlest crew member, going from 0-4 (maybe 5 on a good day)!! He probably perfers nami bc sometimes her orange hair makes him think its his mom (who was blond how’d he get that idea?? Oda same face syndrome maybe, anyway..) but he will always seek her out, because she reminds him the most of like safety.

If not her than zoro, because the green reminds him if seaweed. He likes anything ocean like. (Post timeskip i think he likes jinbe alot bc jinbe = fish)!!!

Also i think sanji also has a thing where ince in a blue moon he regresses older than zoro, which makes him think he is pretty often, so sometimes the two babies argue with babbles

“N’ m’ bigger!!” -sanji

“.. then why d’yiu have a paci”- zoro (said VERY proudly)

*sanji looks at his pacifier clip and tries to take it off to no avail, so he just plops himself on the floor and throws a tantrum*.

Hahaha!!

Little strawhat hc’s amke me happy.

(Im sorry im a huge yapper)

~Absolutely nothing to apologize for! I absolutely love getting long rambles like these. Always reminds me of all the shows I need to get back into watching (kinda stopped watching after Thriller Bark because like I hate that arc so much) Also, also because I can then ramble just as much! >:3

~You’re welcome! Glad my ramblings could give you ideas to use :D (Also I am just as much of a sucker for straw hat angst, specifically Usopp, Sanji and Luffy so I take whatever opportunity I can to ramble about it.)

~Also padded regression is just kinda ehh for me. I’m cool with it, can’t write about it for the life of me, I’ve tried to, and usually don’t talk about it much because I don’t want a bunch of disgusting blogs attracted to me over something that is innocent. So long story short- I’m fine with you, (or anyone) talking about it and I will ramble some ideas given the chance.

~Okay onto the actual rambling now!!

~Adding Nami to that list of padded littles, because I feel like after being stuck with Arlong and being forced to make maps and meet a deadline at such a young age I feel like either she wasn’t given the time to go to the bathroom regularly enough, or simply forgot to getting so caught up on making maps and buying back her village. (I can go into this idea a lot more, but it is kinda heavy on the child abuse side of things so I won’t)

~It’s an idea that Robin gave to her, at first suggesting wearing a diap for her periods when regressed because it’s just easier, and then realizing she finds a lot of comfort in it. Also tangerine themed nappies. I rest my case

~Aww thank you <3<3<3

~First of all, Jinbe is so dad coded and I think it hurts him to his core that Nami is afraid of him. He’s sulking whenever the little is crying because of him and he wants to try so hard to make her feel safe but trauma isn’t that easy to overcome. (dang this is turning into just a regressor Nami post isn’t it?)

~I love regressor Robin, specifically as a trauma regressor. She’s… struggling a lot, and even regressed is not that typical child. Franky counterbalances her so perfectly as a caregiver. Just- silly older brother trying everything to get Robin to laugh. Robin meanwhile is just very unamused most of the time. Though I think that

~Zoro comparing himself to Sanji, is one very in character for him, but also like- You’re aware you are comparing your regression to the literally baby on the ship, right??? Saying your older than him doesn’t mean much when he’s 95% of the time regressed to baby space <- Usopp probably, or Franky

~Pfft- Okay the part with Oda made me laugh. Casually breaks the 4th wall. I think that Nami can be so maternal when she wants to be and that’s a big reason that Sanji is drawn to her. (I mean I also headcanon that Usopp mistook Robin as his mom once for like a split second so yeah… poor boys miss their mamas :< )

~Again papa Jinbe 👏 I haven’t actually met him yet in canon, but someone will have to pry that headcanon away from my cold dead body /lh He just, is so hug shaped. I love him…

~Sanji just babbling to the fishman who is trying, so hard, to understand what he’s being told. Something about the All Blue… probably? Possibly?? Maybe??? Someone get Nami or Robin, the poor guy is trying over here but he needs a baby translator.

~Sanji is the king of tantrums actually. Someone just let the baby cry.

~Also imaging a very ticked Nami just popping a pacifier into either Luffy or Usopp’s mouth when they start going off about something. Sixth sense of whenever one of her crewmates is over tired and starting to slip, it still startles them because they weren’t even aware that they were starting to feel small. But also just an easy way to get them to shut up /lh

[honeybeesiness]

all of your writing has a very warm feeling to it, it's like actual honey for my soul, i love it! if i could, could i ask you for some century egg x reader headcanons, please? i hope you have a wonderful day!

i know this one took awhile but!! we don't talk about that!! i’ve been in a writing flunk for awhile; it happens a lot to me but i try my best to be consistent ;;‎. i just don’t want to let any of y’all down. ‎‎

and thank you very much! y’all are so nice, i– ‎‎‎

when i saw the word "despair" in century’s bio, i was like, "👁️👄👁️ junko enoshima" ‎

Dating Century Egg is like....

‎

....The transition from Winter to Spring. Due to his years of unwanted captivity, Century Egg has grown lonely. The corpse of his previous master wasn’t the most ideal company, so he would definitely cling to you. However, there is a bit of hesitance to it. The last person he deeply cared about trapped him in confinement for hundreds of years, so he would be worried that you might do the same when you die. Due to this fear, he is always reluctant to do much of anything with you. Even getting him to hold your hand can be a slow process, so please be patient with him. It might not seem like it, but he’s trying really hard to not be as skeptical as he is. This also means that Century Egg would be a better fit with someone who is kind and gentle rather than someone who is sharp-tongued and hotheaded. While he is not the type to break down and cry easily, he doesn’t want to be rushed and would prefer to take his time in getting both comfortable and used to you. That desire can also imply a sense of "never being ready"-ness, and what I mean by that is that Century Egg might inadvertently be continuously pushing off and delaying the end result by saying that he’s just not comfortable or "ready" yet. Like I mentioned before, it’s not just a slow process, but it can be tiring as well, especially since you never truly know when he’s fully adjusted to the world and you yet. While he might have forever, you certainly don’t, so you don’t want to waste the precious time you have waiting for something that might never arrive. But just know that Century Egg never means to push you away or postpone any sign of significant advancement. He’s just afraid, that’s all. ‎

....A breath of fresh air. Century Egg has an interesting perspective of the modern world, and that is because he’s viewing the time period through ancient eyes. Even though so much has changed between then and now, Century Egg is able to spot and point out areas that he remembers from his time accompanying Xuan Wu. He always has something interesting to tell you about each individual spot and will happily indulge you if you’re willing to listen. Century Egg also likes to buy you things and give you gifts! Since he’s not very used to customs of the modern era, he has a tendency to mimic what others are doing because that is most likely accurate in this time period. If he sees other couples giving gifts to one another, then he’ll do it too, but observing people’s behavior doesn’t necessarily give him all the information he needs. This means that he’ll buy you a lot more stuff than what is considered the normal amount, and those goodies will vary heavily since he’ll buy you anything that he thinks you might like regardless of whether you actually like it or not. It just shows how often he thinks of you, though! What Century Egg also does is pay attention to you when you’re out and about. If your gaze lingers longer on a cute shirt or the newest edition to your favorite book series, then he’ll catch on immediately and commit the item to memory so he can buy it for you when he’s able to. With that being said, Century Egg usually goes overboard with presents on your birthday or on Christmas (If you celebrate it, that is.). ‎

....Becoming human once again. Century Egg has a tendency to be robotic when it comes to his actions. He'll listen to every word you say without a single hint of doubt and he'll follow through with every instruction you give him. While this quality has its benefits (i.e. deliveries, housework, airship shipments), it can be frustrating. A part of being an individual means thinking and behaving for yourself rather than obediently following along to what you're told without any second thoughts, and Century Egg seems incapable of doing so— At least at the moment (And even though I mentioned above that Century Egg would have a lot of hesitance when doing things with you, that only applies to being intimate with you.). But like I mentioned above, his compliance can have his benefits. Even though he’ll do it without hesitation, Century Egg actually enjoys going out on deliveries for you and making sure that your restaurant is in ship-shape. To him, managing these sorts of things helps shave off some of the workload for you, because the last things he wants is for you to overwork yourself. It isn’t a very good feeling to see you stressed out or exhausted, so he’ll what he can to make sure you don’t end up that way. He’s reliable and responsible, so you’d be in good hands if he were to ever take up the reigns. Breaks are important, and you should always make sure to not bite off more than you can chew. ‎

....Spring’s first flower. Century Egg enjoys beautiful weather, and is perfectly content with sitting underneath the shade of a tree to stare at the clouds. He would be happier if you were with him, and if you decide to tag along sometime, the two of you could have a picnic! He’d very much like that, but if you decline, then that’s okay! Maybe next time. Contrary to his rather gloomy disposition, Century Egg’s favorite season is spring. It’s cool (but not too cool) and all the blooming flowers are really pretty to look at. He’ll take you on walks through public gardens, insist on planting flowers in your front or backyard, and he’ll buy you lots of bouquets too! Might want to get a few more vases while he’s in this springtime mindset! The flowers aren’t the only things he likes about spring, however. Like I mentioned above, he likes the cool weather that comes with it, but he also likes the rainbow of colors that this season provides. Being confined and being forced to view a limited palette of colors most of his life really makes him appreciate the beauty of the world a little more, and he would feel more inclined to not take life for granted. He’ll appreciate it while it lasts and, well, his lasts forever, so he has all the time in the world. This thought is also a gentle yet dreadful reminder that your time on earth is limited and that you won’t be able to spend forever with him no matter how much you want to. It’s unfortunate, yes, and inevitable as well, but instead of moping over it, Century Egg is intent on making your life as enjoyable and as exciting as possible. You don’t need to worry about a thing, because Century Egg’s got it handled. Your life is valuable, and so Century Egg will do as much as he can to protect it.

[hitoshishins-hoe]

Heaven

Barbarian!Bakugou x Fem!Reader

—

Alright y’all! So I got a ton of great feedback on my fantasy au headcanons, and I was asked by several people on discord to write a one-shot based on my Bakugou headcanon, and so that’s what I decided to do! It is a bit long, and I may have gotten a little carried away, but I hope you guys like it! As always, feedback is greatly appreciated!

—

Warnings/Triggers: swearing, slightly ooc Bakugou (I love soft Bakugou ok), nsfw, loss of virginity, unprotected sex

Tengoku - Translates to “Heaven” 

Tenshi - Translates to “Angel”

Inari - Japanese goddess of prosperity

Word count: 5k

—

‘Forever’ was never in the cards for Bakugou. He planned on living fast, hard, and rich. Kicking ass, pillaging, taking revenge — but running into you made him realize maybe there’s more to life than just vigilante work. 

—

“Get your ass up shitty hair, we have a city to burn!” Bakugou slaps Kirishima awake from a deep sleep. 

“Bro chill! I can’t shift now! I have to save my energy to burn said city! Why don’t we travel by foot? There’s a city nearby, maybe we can sleep on an actual bed for once?” He stretches awake, now getting dressed. 

“Nah fuck that. We can go if you want, but I’m setting up camp, I’m not staying in some nasty fucking inn.”

Kirishima sighs, but agrees. It’s not like he had much choice anyway. After all, Bakugou was his only family in this world.

After eating breakfast, the two men packed up their belongings and began the trek to Tengoku, a small village about a half a day’s hike into the mountains. 

—

“Y/N! How are you my dear? What’s that you have there?” You look up from the small fragment of wood in your hand, having just finished carving the tail of a dragon. 

“Oh, good morning Tenshi! I had a dream last night about a dragon. He was red and huge, and he had a scar over his right eye.” You laugh, rubbing the back of your neck unconsciously. 

“Y’know, where I come from, those dreams that seem to be too real for comfort are just prophecy for the future.” She smiles warmly. 

Your (E/C) eyes catch a glint of sunlight at that. “Really? You really think I’ll meet a dragon someday?” You smile off into nothing. 

“Of course I do! You’ve wanted to see a dragon since you were about knee-height. And, well, every dragon has a rider, don’t they? Maybe a nice young man will come along with it. You’ve been here too long, go out and meet someone!” She laughs, knowing you’d grown up in the small village and had never left. You had no reason to. 

“Very funny, Tenshi. I’ll tell that to my dream-dragon.” You roll your eyes, focusing back down at the half-carved fragment in your hand. 

She laughs and makes her way down the small unpaved road that ran through the town, mostly lined with small tents with fresh produce, vendors, and entertainers.

–

Tenshi was the town’s founder, having come from ‘across the sea.’ She’d never tell anyone more than that. No one knew her name either, but everyone had affectionately coined the name ‘Tenshi,’ meaning ‘Angel’. She was well into her 80’s at least, and she acted as the chief and village grandmother to those who needed it. 

You on the other hand were an artist. Having been raised in Tengoku by monks, you lived a quiet life. Soon into your childhood you picked up the craft of carving. You’d found a small arrowhead along the creek that ran through town and starting working away at a chunk of wood you found nearby. From then on it became a hobby, then a craft, and now an art form. You started selling them to passers-by on their way to other destinations, and it brought in enough money to buy you a permanent room at the inn with plenty to spare. 

-

After Tenshi leaves, you go back to carving the dragon, each scale identical to the last. 

“How much for that one?” You yelp at the gruff voice immediately in front of you. You collect yourself and glance down at your half-finished dragon. 

“O-oh! This one? Well it’s not finished yet, I’m about halfway finished with carving and I still have to dye it! Can I offer you one of my finished pieces?” You gesture to the small table in front of you. 

The man just shakes his head, motioning to your hand. “I want that one. How long’ll it take?”

You think for a moment, and tell him maybe another 1-2 hours before the dye would dry once the carving was finished. 

He nods and grunts, making his way behind your table to the grass behind you. You look at him confused, but let it go since he’s not bothering you. 

You quickly glance behind you, offering the man a small smile. “I’m (Y/L/N) (Y/N) by the way.”

He looks up at you. “Bakugou Katsuki. Pleasure.”

You turn around sitting down in the small chair behind your table, hunched over while you carve. The man behind you doesn’t speak, and neither do you. It goes on like this for roughly an hour, until he breaks the silence. 

“Have you ever seen a dragon?” He asks you. 

You look up from your piece and sigh. “No, but it’s always been my dream, literally. I had a dream last night about a dragon. That’s what this carving is based on. There were lots of little details I remember about it. Like how there’s a scar along it’s right eye, across it’s chest, and on it’s left wing. Oddly specific, huh?” You laugh. “Our villages leader, Tenshi, says that sometimes those dreams that feel too real to be a dream are actually prophecy. Cool huh?” 

Bakugou’s eyes widen a bit, realizing you’d just described his dragon, Kirishima. 

“What is it?” You ask, noticing his change in demeanor. 

“I–” he pauses, mulling over his next words. His slack jaw turns up into a grin. “You want to meet a dragon?”

Now it’s your turn to look confused. “Y-you know one? Seriously?” You pause for a minute. “You’d better not be fucking with me.”

He chuckles “Whoa whoa princess, who says I’m fucking with you? He’s a shifter, not a full-blooded dragon but shit’s all the same to me. Finish up that carving for me and I’ll take you to him.”

Your eyes light up, feeling the sincerity in his voice. You immediately turn back to your unfinished piece, continuing on the hundreds of intricate scales. You two strike up a conversation after, both retelling stories from childhood, up to now. 

–

Through talking with him you learn that he really had it rough growing up, never having a true family, much like you. He was always moving towns, doing everyone’s dirty work with little to no pay. One day he was abducted and sold into slavery at the ripe young age of 15. The man he was sold to was one of the most foul men to walk the earth. The only nice thing was his slave-mate, Eijirou Kirishima.

The two teens quickly became friends. Spending every day and night in shared quarters really gave two people time to get to know each other. Shortly after Bakugou was purchased, Kirishima confided in him that was actually a dragon-shifter. No one else knew, or else he’d either be thrown into a bidding-war, or murdered. Some envied owning a shifter, while others thought they were a sin against the balance of life itself. 

Bakugou and Kirishima continued working for their owner for another 3 years before they decided to make their move. Over time they’d taken careful note of other slave owners in the village, their schedules, how many spaces they owned, family or no family. They also managed to pilfer small amounts of money, both from their own master as well as others. 

After some reassurance from Bakugou, Kirishima was able to shift and light the village ablaze. They created a network of safe houses so the other slaves were able to reach safety before all the slave owners were burned into oblivion. 

They never looked back after that. 

–

You look on with awe as Bakugou relays some of his and Kirishima’s adventures, as they continued to make their way through small towns, identifying rotten people, and “taking care of them.”

“W-wow,” you finally muster. You look down at your now finished piece, turning it in your hand. “You both sound incredible.”

He chuckles at that. “Yeah, well, what can I say. We’re both pretty damn cool.”

You laugh faintly, turning back to place your figurine into a small tin of crimson dye, allowing it to sit there for several minutes.

You both sit in silence as you pull the dragon out of the dye and set it on a drying rack. 

“You mentioned you grew up in this town, right? Why haven’t you left yet?” He asks, standing to his feet. 

You think for a minute. “I guess I haven’t really had any reason to. It’s quiet and everyone knows me here, ya know? Sure we don’t have the best food, or the best artisans, but it’s nice here.” You reply, turning to the table in front of you. 

“You realize how fucking talented you are, right? You could make four times what you make here if you were to travel to different towns.” He says sounding slightly irritated. “Don’t you want to see what else the world has to offer?”

You grow quiet, the faint smile fading from your face. “I never said I didn’t want to, but leaving everything I know, on my own completely, terrifies me.” You look down at your feet, letting out a shallow sigh.

“You can always tag along with Kirishima and I you know. I’d never oppose to a beautiful woman on my arm.” 

You look at him with wide eyes, cheeks flush. 

“Y-you just met me, you’d really take a chance on me? What if I’m a murderer or something?” You laugh nervously. 

He lunged forward at you, pinning you to the ground. You let out a soft grunt as you hit the ground, his hand pinning your arms above your head as he straddles your hips. 

“If you were a murderer, you’d never let someone get the upper hand, right?” He gives you a shit-eating grin as you huff in protest. 

“Besides, don’t you want to ‘live a little?’”

Your face cheeks deepen red in embarrassment, noticing the slight bulge in his pants so close to your heat. 

He notices your blush and snorts, hauling himself off of you, pulling you up with him. 

“How much longer on that dragon?” He asks, nodding to the drying rack. You dust yourself off, trying to hide your fading blush as you go to look at the dragon. 

“Ah, looks like it’s done!” You reply excitedly. 

You pick it up and look it over, proud of your handiwork. You then reach for Bakugou’s hand, uncurling his calloused fingers and setting the figurine in his open palm. He brings it to his face and inspects it, eyes lit with curiosity. 

“This is fucking incredible, (Y/L/N).” He says, awestruck. 

You let out a quiet ‘thank you’ and stand quiet for a moment. “You can call me (Y/N), you know. I’m not a fan of formalities.” You reply. 

Bakugou nods. “Yeah, me neither. Just call me Katsuki. And how much do I owe you for this?” He asks reaching for his coin pouch. 

“No no no! Don’t worry about it!” You exclaim, waiving your hands at him. “Please, as long as I can see a dragon I don’t need payment. It’s fine, really.”

He grunts out a ‘fine.’ And stuffs the figurine into his cloak. “Want to go see that dragon now?”

You nod eagerly, packing up your stocked items and throwing them into a bag. “Let me drop these off at the inn on our way there,” you tell him as you put up a “closed” sign on the table. 

You two travel down the now mostly empty road, dusk quickly approaching as you reach the inn. You run up to your room to put your stock away, jogging down the hall as to not keep Bakugou waiting. You grip the dresser in your room, panting as you’d worn yourself out a bit. “Katsuki,” you mumble, enjoying the way his name rolled off your tongue. 

“Yes?” You hear Bakugou’s voice from behind you. You yelp, running out the door before you could muster up an embarrassing excuse as to why you were saying his name in the mirror. 

He chuckles and follows you closely, eyes now wandering to your figure. You had on a plain dress, though it looked a tad small, only accentuating your curves. He wanted to devour you right then and there, but that wouldn’t be very gentlemanly, would it?

He eventually takes the lead, leading you to his small camp about a half mile outside the town. You two arrive about 20 minutes later, as the sun dips behind the mountains.

“Kirishima! We have a visitor!” Bakugou yells at the tent, a tall red-haired man poking his head out. 

“Dude, I-” He stutters, gesturing to his small protruding horns and scales on his face. You miss this exchange as you’re admiring the surrounding forest, since you’ve never been this far up the mountain before. 

“It’s fine, she’s fine.” He states gruffly, turning to you, oblivious to his state. His eyes soften as he sees you looking around the forest, admiring the sights. You notice him looking and look down at your feet, embarrassed. “C’mon, Kirishima will show you tomorrow, why don’t you sleep here tonight?” He nods at the small fire Kirishima had going. 

You sheepishly agree and make your way over to the tent, Kirishima now sitting by the fire. He extends an arm to you. “Hi! I’m Kirishima Eijirou! You can call me Kiri.” He grins, mouth full of jagged teeth. His smile is warm, and you return it in kind. “(Y/N) (Y/L/N), please call me (Y/N),” you shake his hand and sit by the fire.

“Hey Bakugou, I gotta, uh...eat,” Kirishima says. “Go eat then,” Bakugou replies, sitting down between the two of you. “Don’t wait up,” he mumbles under his breath, the shifter understanding immediately. 

“Well (Y/N), it was nice meeting you! I’ll be gone for the rest of the night, but I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?” He smiles, running off in the opposite direction of Tengoku.

Shortly after Kirishima leaves, you heave out a sigh and flop backwards onto the grass, looking at the stars. Bakugou looks down at you, still amazed at how oblivious you are. He eventually lays his head next to yours, grunting as his head hits the ground. “Ow,” he grumbles, having hit it harder than he intended. You laugh at the whack  sound his head makes, spinning into a fit of laughter when he starts whispering profanities at the ground. 

“Hey, what are you laughing at, princess? You think it’s funny?” You wipe away a tear as your laughs turn into sniffles. 

“Maybe a little bit,” you laugh again. 

“Uh huh. You ticklish, sweetheart?” he smirks, your face paling at his threat. 

“Shi-,” you barely get anything out before he has you pinned, hands attacking your sides. 

“N-no! Please s-stop! I can’t take it!” You cry, the tickling so intense your eyes fill with tears.

“If you want me to stop, make me,” he smiles smugly. 

Having gained a new wave of confidence, you take your knee up to his groin and rub against his bulge, eliciting a moan from Bakugou, distracting him just long enough to flip your bodies so you now straddled him. 

Now he’s the one to be taken aback by your sudden change of attitude. “Where’d this come from?” He asks, his hands settling on your hips. 

You lean forward, your hands finding his chest underneath his heavy pelt as you bring your face just inches from his. “You were the one that said I should ‘live a little’, right? That’s what I’m doing.” 

He smirks, hands gripping tighter to your thighs. “Alright then brat, show me whatcha got.”

You lock your lips against his, his breath hot against your nose as you start to grind against him. He lets out a breathy moan, giving you enough space to slip your tongue into his mouth, deepening the kiss. It’s not long before the bulge in his pants is now straining against the fabric.

You slowly remove his pelt, revealing a well-built but scarred chest. You move your lips to his neck, gently sucking on the skin just beneath his jaw. 

“Fuck,” he groans as you suck on his sweet spot. You trail your kisses down his chest, leaving love bites in your wake. 

“You done this before?” Bakugou looks down at you, your hands now grasping the waistband of his pants. 

“N-no,” you stutter. “I only know what the entertainers in town have told me.” he replies with a weak tch as you continue. 

You undo his belt and slip his pants along with his boxers down around his ankles, his cock springing free from the confining material. Your eyes go wide at the size of him, never having seen a dick in person before. Noticing your hesitation, he smirks down at you. 

“What, don’t tell me you’re gonna back out now,” he laughs tauntingly. “We’re just ge—fuuuuck!” His face tenses as you lick a long stripe against the underside of his cock. 

You slowly coax his hardened member into your mouth, throat clenching as you slowly start sliding it in and out. You start at a steady pace, using your hand where your mouth can’t reach. Bakugou moans as you grow used to the size of him, taking more of him into your mouth inch by inch. Bakugou slowly starts to buck his hips up into your mouth, beginning to face fuck you as your throat clenches with every thrust. Your eyes brim with tears as the tip repeatedly hits the back of your windpipe. Your core begins to ache with neglect as Bakugou’s hips begin to stutter.

“F-fuck, I’m going to come,” he breathes as he thrusts into your mouth a handful more times before your mouth is filled with his salty seed. 

You slowly slip his cock from your mouth as you gulp down the liquid, wiping your mouth as you do so.

He chuckles, smug grin returning to his face. “Not bad for a first-timer,” he says, flipping you both so that he’s now straddling your hips.

He leans in next your ear and whispers “My turn,” as he bites down on your earlobe, sending a jolt of pleasure up your spine.

He kisses up your neck and jaw to your lips, pressing his body to yours. He momentarily breaks the kiss, his hands snaking under your dress, pulling it up over your shoulders, revealing your bare chest.

He trails kisses down your neck softly sucking, leaving love bites as you did to him. One of his hands makes its way to your already hard nipple, lightly tugging on it while his tongue swirls your other bud, eliciting a small moan from you. 

He continues his assault down your front, kissing your soft curves as his lips reach your waistline. His vermillion eyes meet yours as his fingers hook the band of your underwear and slide them down until they’re discarded on the ground, his lips never leaving your body.

He kisses your inner thighs, sending shivers up your spine, your mouth now agape as your core aches with want.

“Already so wet for me,” he coos, warm breath fanning your now bare cunt.

You moan, shifting your legs open wider, giving Bakugou better access. He kisses your now soaking heat, slowly prodding you open with his tongue. 

“Pl-please go slow,” you whisper, threading your fingers through his slightly damp hair. 

He reaches a hand up to your face, slowly stroking your cheek reassuringly. 

“Don’t worry princess, I know what I’m doing.” he replies, sliding his hand back down to your waist. 

“Let me know if you’re ever in pain, okay? I’ll stop immediately.”

You give him a curt nod as he slips his index finger into his mouth, turning his attention back to what’s in front of him. 

He slowly slides his finger into you, causing you to clench in discomfort. He stays still for a moment before he slowly starts sliding his finger in and out of your heat, already dripping with your arousal. After a short while he adds in a second finger, his eyes continuously flicking up to your face to gauge your reactions. 

Your eyes are clenched in pleasure, soft moans and mumbles of his name falling from your mouth. “K-Katsuki,” you start, slowly opening your eyes.

“Yes, (Y/N)?” He asks, still sliding his now coated fingers in and out of you. 

“Please fuck me,” your cheeks flush at your outburst. 

He smirks at that, sliding his fingers out of you, as you sigh at the loss of contact. He licks his fingers clean and pulls himself up to you, kissing you more fervently this time. 

You taste yourself on your tongue as you moan, Bakugou slipping his tongue into your mouth. He reaches down to himself pumping his cock several times, long since hard again. He lines up with your entrance, breaking your kiss momentarily. 

“Are you ready?” he asks, meeting your gaze.

You eagerly nod, as he does as well. He slowly slides himself into you, as you wince with pain. His eyes never leave you, even as your eyes close as you focus on the mild pain as he slowly stretches you. You start to relax as he bottoms out, stilling there for a moment to give you time to adjust. 

After a heavy sigh from you, he begins to move, slowly at first, barely sliding several inches in and out of you. 

“You can move, Katsuki,” you breathe. 

He grunts in agreeance as he picks up the pace, balls slapping against your heat as he nestles his face into the crook of your shoulder. 

It isn’t long before you feel a knot in your stomach, on the verge of coming undone. 

“Katsuki, I–” you moan, eyes rolling into the back of your head as he continues to pound into you. 

You come with a flash of white, clenching around him as your vision blurs. The feeling of you squeezing around him so tightly sends Bakugou over the edge not long after, a strangled moan leaving him as he paints your insides white. 

After several more thrusts he slips himself from you, collapsing next to you, quickly pulling you to his warm chest. 

You two stay like that for a bit, both lightly panting from your orgasms. You slowly curl yourself into him, his arm wrapping around you as your sigh. 

“My offer still stands. You can come with us, you know.” He breaks the silence, as you slowly look up at him. 

His eyes meet yours as you quickly turn away, cheeks pink with slight embarrassment.

“I feel like I’d slow you guys down,” you sigh, readjusting yourself as the cold night air starts to register. “Besides, I don’t know if I’d even be useful.”

He rolls his eyes. “I wouldn’t ask you along if I didn’t want you there. I feel like you’d be able to help funnel people out while Kirishima and I handle the rest. You’re good with people, right? You’d be able to do a lot of fucking good, (Y/N). And besides, your work is too damn amazing to stay locked away here. Don’t stay cramped up in this little town the rest of your life. Do something, you know?” He says gruffly. 

You lay in silence for a moment, processing his proposal. You pull yourself to a sitting position, and Bakugou shortly follows suit. 

You turn to him, pulling his face to yours and kiss him gently. 

“You know what? Sure. Why not?” You grin, filled with fresh resolve. 

He smirks at that, pulling you back to his chest as he lays back down in the cool grass. He reaches for a discarded item of clothing and wipes the both of you up. He throws you your dress and you slip it back on, as he finds some clothing to put back on as well.

Using each other for warmth, sleep takes you both, sunrise still a handful of hours away. 

—

You awake with the sun, hazy oranges and purples dancing behind your eyelids as the sun drags up over the horizon. You pull yourself up, stretching as you yawn away your drowsiness. 

You look down at Bakugou, his mouth slightly agape as he slowly stirs awake. You smile, thinking about all the things you hoped to do. Sight-seeing, exploring new foods, selling your trinkets to new markets of people; the opportunities seem endless. 

“Hey! Glad to see you’re awake! I stopped by earlier but you two were still passed out, so I went into town and got some food!” You hear Kirishima’s voice to your left, his arms full of cloth sacks, presumably filled with food. 

“Good morning,” you reply, voice still thick with sleep as he hands you a bag. 

He sits to the right of you, Bakugou stirring on your left as you open the bag and start eating. 

Bakugou eventually sits up, rubbing his eyes as Kirishima hands him a sack as well, Bakugou muttering a low “thank you” as he still struggles to wake up. 

The three of you sit in silence for a while, as you all finish up your food. 

Bakugou is the first to speak up, setting his discarded wrappings on the ground beside him. “(Y/N) here’s going to join us, she can help evacuate people as we do the rest.”

“Sweet! You’ll fit right in!” Kirishima smiles, wrapping an arm around you.

“I do have to collect my things from town, and say goodbye to everyone, but I’m ready to go after that!” you smile back, taking a sip of water.

Bakugou stands up, taking everyone’s discarded food wrappings and throwing them into a sack as the three of you clean up camp.

As day breaks, the three of you make your way into town, conversing along the way.

Before long you reach Tengoku, the sun now high above your heads as you make your way to the inn. It doesn’t take long to pack your small number of things. You don’t have much more than a week’s worth of clothing, a hand-carved hairbrush, and a handful of figurines, as well as a couple of knives. 

The three of you walk back to the front desk, returning your key to the innkeeper, exchanging pleasantries and a tearful goodbye. 

You slowly make your rounds around Tengoku, wishing everyone well and promising you’d be back. 

The hardest person to leave is of course Tenshi.

At present she’s at the local shrine, paying her respects. The three of you stop at the bottom of the steps, as to not disturb her. 

“Can you guys give me a minute?” You ask hesitantly, placing your bag on the ground. The pair of men nod as you slowly make your way to the top of the shrine. 

“Hey Tenshi,” you start, gently placing a shaky hand on her shoulder. She opens her eyes and stands from her kneeling position and turns to you, tears welling in her eyes. 

She smiles softly, taking your hands in hers. “I was just praying for you,” she says, slowly rubbing circles into the backs of your hands. “I spoke with Inari this morning, and she told me what you set out to do, and I’m so very proud of you, (Y/N).” she gleams. 

You smile and bring her small frame to yours in a tight embrace, failing to hold back tears.

“You'll be back,” she says as you both pull away. “I know you will.”

You smile at that, knowing she knew better than anyone what the future holds. 

You make your way back down the steps, eyes still slightly puffy as you reach Kirishima and Bakugou. 

“You good?” Bakugou asks, handing you your duffel bag. 

You nod, assuring him you’d be fine. Kirishima hands off his bags to Bakugou and starts to stretch out his limbs as Bakugou drops the bags next to you. 

Your thoughts are pulled to Kirishima as you see him out of the corner of your eye stretching. You give him a sideways glance, slightly confused at what he was doing. 

Bakugou observes you and snorts. “Hey I promised you a dragon, didn’t I? He can’t transform if his damn limbs are stiff.”

You mouth an “oh” as Kirishima takes a deep breath and his skin begins to darken to a crimson red. 

A tail slowly protrudes from his lower back as he begins to grow in size. His arms lengthen to match his legs as they progressively become longer and thicker, ends coming to sharp onyx claws. His face elongates into a snout, his mouth lined with the same jagged teeth he adorns in his human form. Wings twice the length of his now massive body protrude from his back, varying shades of crimson and black, a scar running along the crease of his left wing. He shakes himself out, his scales catching the sunlight, reflecting tinges of black and purple. 

Honestly, you’re awestruck. You’ve never seen something so massive and beautiful in your life. Bakugou’s eyes never leave you, admiring your face of wonder. You slowly make your way around to Kirishima’s front, his eyes catching yours as he brings his face level with you. Your eyes immediately land on his notable scar over his right eye, and you reach out to it, brushing your hand over his face. You walk back around to his side, dragging your palm against his scaly skin as you walk back to Bakugou. 

“W-wow,” is all you can utter as Bakugou chuckles. 

“He is somethin’, huh? Let’s get going.” He replies, hoisting you onto Kirishima’s back. 

He tosses you the remaining bags and pulls himself up as well, settling himself directly in front of you. You take one more glance back at the shrine, Tenshi now waving at you. You wave back, flashing Tenshi a toothy grin. You then turn to face Bakugou, your arms snaking around his thin waist. His muscles tense under you as he slaps Kirishima’s back, signaling it was time to go. 

Without time to register, Kirishima shoots up into the sky, your hands finding purchase on Bakugou’s pelt as you hold on for dear life. As quickly as it starts it’s over, Kirishima leveling out amongst the clouds. 

It’s breathtaking. The heat of the day melts away as the air pressure drops, the clouds breezing by. You feel like you could float on endlessly, and with Bakugou at your fingertips and Kirishima securely beneath you, you feel like you’re in heaven. 

[glitterslag]

Strip Tease.

So this was on my mind for a few days and until I cracked and did blurbs for everyone! I’m super into Warren lately, and I haven’t done anything for Ben in a while so that’s what imma do

summary: Warren the master mixologist, sad, divorced Roger and Ben on a stag-do straight out of The Inbetweeners. And you, a stripper.

warnings: strip club, divorce, cheating, alcoholism, difficult sexual themes. References to sex and some light smut at the end.

word count: hella

A/N: This came out as more of a character study than anything else. Also, I’m seeing a lot of fuckboi ben HCs on my dash lately so I needed to remedy because i can’t handle the cold truth. So I wrote 2k words of lovely conscientious ben walking you home safe x

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

Thanks for nearly 1k followers!! I’m celebrating by writing a ton of blurbs, headcanons and oneshots! Y’all are keeping me busy with the requests so far, but if you did want to suggest something, feel free! I hope I’ll get round to it

Warren.

The bar staff were nearly always female. 

Recruit a pretty young girl to work 8 hours on her feet for minimum wage, while dancers make hundreds a night more than her wearing only a little less - you can pretty much guarantee the rest. She’ll be dancing in no time. 

That was the idea, anyway. They would hire you to wait tables, but what they were really after was another stripper. A cash grab. In fact, that’s how most of them start. Turns out, customers aren’t really that bothered about the standard of the drinks they’re being served - not when they’re already drunk and distracted by everything else that’s… going on. 

It does, however, mean you’re left with a high turnover rate, and a distinct lack of male bodies on the staff. It could be useful, your manager muses, to have someone there other than the bouncers, standing at the back of the room, keeping an eye on the floor. Looking after the girls a bit. Making sure nothing untoward was going on. 

Plus, the boy’s a professional. He’s worked in bars before - high end ones - and he’s got a trick or two up his sleeve. It might be nice to bring a sense of class about the place, everyone agrees. Bring in a real mixologist. Maybe it would increase sales. 

Warren used to be an alcoholic until he started working in bars.

It might seem contradictory, but really it makes perfect sense. It was only being around other drunkards 40 hours a week that made him realise how much he didn’t want to be one anymore. 

Now he rarely drinks at all. Just mixes the cocktails. He’s really fucking good at it, too. Watching him skilfully tossing the bottles around - fingers so dexterous as he juggles with ingredients like it’s easy. It’s really sexy. 

He causes a bit of a fuss when he first starts. People wonder whether he isn’t a stripper himself, wandered into the wrong club by accident. He’s certainly got the physique for it. Or is he going to be a bouncer, with that fearsome set of wings and his hard, hard expression? 

 Rumours swirl about him leaving his last job because he broke up with one (or, depending on who you talk to, several) of the waitresses. He was sleeping with one of your coworkers by the end of the second week.   

That’s how it had started with you, too. A one night stand quickly escalated into twice, three, then four times. And then the next thing you knew it was A Thing. 

They tell you not to date someone from the club when you start. If you guys fight, you’ll be bringing that into work. If you guys break up… well. The next few shifts are going to be awkward for everyone involved.It’s hard to resist each other, though, and perhaps against both of your better judgements, you fall in love. 

Casual hookups with girls from the scene are Warren’s bread and butter, but getting into a relationship with one is a different thing all together. He’s crazy possessive, and the thought of being forced to watch you, having fun with other guys night in, night out - he had thought it would be torture. 

Actually, it’s not like that at all. It only reinforces that this is only a job, it’s only money. You don’t like kissing the men, or letting them grope you. Some girls do it, and you have done in the past, too, but you had decided not long into the relationship that it wasn’t worth the extra tips. 

Customers will often ask you if you have a boyfriend, and sometimes, if you’re feeling really cheeky, you’ll nod towards Warren behind the bar. It’s always a satisfying experience for both of you to watch a man’s eyes flicker to the back of the room, turn pale as chalk and take his hands off you quick-sharp. 

He’d be lying if he said it wasn’t hard not to get distracted by you during a shift. Yes, he’s one of the only men in the world who are unfazed by sex workers, spending six days a week surrounded by semi naked women. But he’s only a man, and watching you up there, working the pole in nothing but a thong and six inch heels, your eyes always fixed on him at the back of the room - let’s just say he’s thankful the bar is at waist height. 

An underrated perk of the relationship is working the same hours. You’ve never had that in a boyfriend before, and it’s so nice to be able to spend time with each other in the day. To leave for work and come home at the same time, sometimes even driving in together. Some couples would find it smothering, spending so much time together like that, but you two don’t much care for other people anyway. You only need each other. 

Underneath the dark and edgy exterior, Warren is a big softie. He’s a vegetarian who loves animals, and is the owner of one blue eyed husky named Shadow. When not at work he can be found in the gym, or curled up on the sofa with you, his pup, and something good to watch on netflix.

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

Roger.

The first night he comes in and you’re all over him like a rash.

 You’ve been doing this a couple of years now, and you’ve learnt to tell the different types of customer by sight. You dance near him to get a closer look - yep. Just what you suspected: 

Recently divorced. Lonely. Rich. 

How do you know?

No wedding ring, for a start. There’s a tan line there, though, on his fourth finger, indicating it was taken off recently. He hasn’t just shoved it in his back pocket to come here, though. He’s not unfaithful. Or at least, he isn’t being right now. He’s lonely. He’s been dumped.

There’s a five o’clock shadow on his neck that he doesn’t normally let grow. It doesn’t match the colour of his bleach blonde foils. He’s in his mid thirties, and his clothes look expensive. He orders a whiskey, neat. A sad man’s drink. 

You watch him dig for his wallet, a cigarette hanging from between his lips. He slaps it onto the table. Roger isn’t a particularly tall man, but if he sat on his wallet, maybe. 

You watch Katelyn swaying towards him, offering him a lap-dance which he politely declines. It could be that he’s just here to watch. That happens, sometimes, with divorcees. The younger, more excitable men are kids in a sweet shop, just wanting to touch everything they see. But men his age - men who should be home with their wives on Tuesday nights instead of nursing a whiskey in this seedy establishment, they sometimes won’t buy anything at all.

The other alternative is that he’s waiting for you. 

You decide to hedge your bets. 

You walk over to his table, praying no-one on the way catches your eye, and you manage to make it uninterrupted. You give him a sweeping look, pausing just a moment while he makes his decision, and sure enough he’s pulling out a twenty. He tucks it into your bra as you take a seat on his lap, and you get to work.

There’s a no contact rule here, but sometimes you let them touch you, especially if they look anything like him. You take hold of his hands and place them on your waist as you roll your hips against him in time to the song, dropping down in between his legs a moment before wiggling back up, hands gripping his thighs for support. You sink down onto his lap again and you hear him groan just a little, breath tickling your bare shoulder. You grind down onto him harder, gyrating around lazily until you feel him stuffing more bills into your knickers. 

You grab them discreetly, rolling them up and tucking them into your garter instead. It’s more secure in there. 

You decide to up the ante. 

You get up momentarily to shimmy in front of him, before spinning around and straddling his lap again, facing him this time. You loop your arms around his neck, swaying your hips against him as you look into his eyes. Making him feel like he’s the only man in the room. 

“Where’s your wife?” You lean forward and murmur into his ear in a smokey voice, playing with the fingers on his wedding hand. 

“Haven’t got one.” He says in a strained tone, groaning again as you slide over his hardening bulge. 

“Girlfriend?”

“No,” He forces out. 

“Poor baby.” 

You don’t break eye contact with him as you lift his hand up to your lips and suck his index finger into your mouth. He curses under his breath. The song finishes, and it’s probably a good job, because you wager he’s about to make a mess of his jeans.

He doesn’t pay for another one. But he does call you over again later that night and you just talk. He’s really nice, not to mention easy on the eyes, and for the first time in a while, you can honestly say you’re having a good time. You’re almost a little sad when it’s time for him to leave, and not just because the cash stops coming. 

“Come back, won’t you?” You whisper into his ear, lips trailing over the skin ever so slightly. He just laughs.

He does come back, though. A little over a week later. And again, a week after that. You learn his name is Roger, he’s got two kids, and he’s been divorced a month, though his relationship broke over a year ago. He never tells you what it is he does that makes him so rich. 

Most of the time, you just sit on his lap and talk. He’ll hand you pound notes every once in a while, or stuff them into your garter belt - large, warm hands running tantalisingly up your thigh. 

He wants to know if you let the other men touch you like he does. 

“Only you, Rog.” You whisper, and he almost seems taken in by it, just for a second, and then he laughs. 

“Christ I’m an old fool.” He says, shaking his head with a sad chuckle. “I bet that’s what you say to them all.” 

–

As the weeks pass, he becomes a regular face. He always politely declines the other women’s advances, preferring to wait until you’re available to come and sit on his lap, stealing a drag of his cigarette before looping your arms around his neck and gazing into his eyes to listen to him talk. Tell you about his day. 

You always look forward to the nights he comes in, but you’re not sure when exactly it had stopped being about the money for you. Probably about the time you’d started letting him kiss you. You’d never let a customer do that before. 

You start giving him private dances. They’re timed sessions off in a side room, where a bouncer will stand outside the door and knock at intervals to tell you how much time you have remaining. So not exactly private. But it’s still you and him, alone. Getting heated.

“We could have this in real life, you know.” You whisper to him one night, head flung back and voice breathy as he sucks at one of your nipples. 

Roger laughs. He’s always doing that.

“And what would you want with an old creep like me, hm?” He murmurs, lips trailing up the valley between your breasts to land at your throat. 

“I’m serious, Rog.” 

The bouncer knocks on the door. 

“Five minutes remaining.”

You sigh. 

You feel Roger slipping more notes into your thong and for once, you halt stop his hand. 

“Don’t.” You reproach, and he blinks up at you in surprise. “I hate it when you do that.”

“Do what?” He asks in disbelief. “Pay you for doing your job?” 

“Remind me that this can’t be real.” 

Your voice is small.

“Remind me that you don’t seem to want me. Not outside of here, anyway.”

To Roger’s utter dismay, you’re welling up. He can’t believe his eyes. He’d never once considered that any of this could be real for you, never dared to believe that you might want him the way he wants you. Longs for you. That you cared about anything more than taking his money. 

His voice is soft and contrite when he reaches up to cup your cheek in his hand, thumbing away at your tears.

“Darling, I- I had no idea-” 

The bouncer knocks again and you both breathe out a shaky laugh, foreheads coming to rest together.

When he asks Roger if he wants to extend the time, needless to say there’s only one answer he can give. 

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

Ben.

Ben’s designated driver for a stag-do.

You decide it’s a stag do, and not a “taking our friend, who just got dumped, out on the piss” do, even if it is a rather sad one.

It’s the first weekend back after New Year, and you’ve been expecting the turnout to be dismally poor, and to be fair, it is. Other than the fat old man on his own in the corner who’s here most nights, they’re almost the only ones here. It’s 2 o’clock in the morning, and you’re not sure if originally there had been more of them, but by the time they walk in, the party has dwindled down to about five.

Girls are getting sent home left and right because the place is so dead, and you’re gutted to be one of the few left on the floor. In fact you’d nearly taken the night off, knowing nobody ever has money to spend in January, never mind throw around on strippers.

You sigh and wait for them to hand over their phones and get their drinks from the bar. 

Ben looks uncomfortable. He’s never been to a strip club before, it’s written all over his face. Probably doesn’t agree with the principle. Just begrudgingly here to do lifts, and make sure nobody chokes on their own vomit, or anything.

He’s attractive, too. You’re quite tempted to make a bee-line for him, watch his fair cheeks flush red under the fluoro lights as you make him an offer he can’t refuse. Given the choice between a group of lairy stags and their visibly uncomfortable, decidedly more attractive sober driver, you’d rather have the latter. Honestly, you can get a really good conversation out of the sober ones sometimes, especially when it’s quiet. Plus, you love the nervous ones.

But you’re also painfully aware of how slow it’s been, so you sigh and mark out the pathetic one and go and sell a lap dance to him instead, taking his money while you watch your co-worker smirk and shimmy over to Ben out of the corner of your eye. And you don’t know why, but it gives you a very small but very there sense of satisfaction when you see that he’s not into it.

Some girls will let any handsome face become a distraction, and it’s exactly what you’ve been told not to do but he’s gorgeous; so very out of his depth, politely clapping and nodding his head along with the music while he nervously sips his diet coke. And it’s not like he’s the only sober driver ever to walk in, neither is he the first person who’s been uncomfortable. But it’s so obviously his first time and there’s just something so reassuring about that. Working there can make you lose a little faith in humanity if you aren’t careful. 

It’s not as if all customers are rude, but the reality is a lot of them are. You get asked out multiple times a shift, see married men every day who insist that they love their wives one minute and are taking off their wedding rings and begging you for a private dance the next. It’s refreshing to see someone like Ben in here every once in a while.  

Your manager says you can go home at some point before the close up, so you go through the back to get changed and wait for your lift. It’s always a bit warm in there after you’ve put your sweater and leggings back on, so you go and wait in the bus shelter outside. It’s a well-lit street, and when you’re back in your trackies you feel relatively safe to wait there.

After a while, your brother hasn’t come to get you (yes, your family know what you do and no, they haven’t disowned you) so you ring him. He doesn’t answer.

You see Ben and co drive past and you smile to yourself, wondering if they’d even recognise you now, with your makeup off and your clothes on. He sees you standing there, sheltering from the drizzle in the plastic bus stop, and he reverses the car back past you and rolls the window down.  

“You got a lift, love?” He enquires politely.

You can hear his drunken mates heckling from inside the car.

“Yes, thanks.”

 “Want me to call you a taxi?” He presses. 

 “No thanks.” You say. “They should be along soon.”

He looks at you hard. 

“Are you sure you’re alright?”

“Yes.”

Just then, one of them has to get out of the car to be sick all over the pavement and you recoil, taking it as your chance to escape. You walk 50 or so metres down the road until you’re out of earshot of the retching, but you can still hear the rest of them hooting and hollering and slapping him on the back, egging him on.

Just then, one of them has to get out of the car to be sick all over the pavement and you recoil, taking it as your chance to escape. You walk 50 or so metres down the road until you’re out of earshot of the retching, but you can still hear the rest of them hooting and hollering and slapping him on the back, egging him on.

Ben isn’t pushy, though.

“Look,” he says. ”I’m going to drop these idiots off and then I’ll loop back afterwards just to check you’ve been picked up, ok?”

“Look you really don’t have to-”

“It’s for my own peace of mind,” he cuts in. “And if you’re still here, then I'm.more than happy to see you into a taxi.”  

You want to protest again, but his friends are shouting “Give it up, Ben”, mocking him. His neck is turning red and you’ve been annoyed with them all night and so you say yes. Ok. You thank him and then he drives off into the night, the car full of drunks cheering and yelling as they recede.

You don’t like getting in taxis at this hour, or getting on the tube. It’s late and it’s London, plus you don’t want a lift driver seeing you near to the club and figuring out what you do and thinking they can just…

Anyway. 

Your brother still isn’t answering. He works late shifts as a hospital porter, and this sometimes happens. You sometimes get a lift with one of the other girls, but with there being hardly anyone in tonight, you’re rather stuck. You go back inside and try to scrounge a lift. It’s annoying, the couple who are still on shift live far out of your way or get public transport. Your manager says he’s happy to give you a lift, but only after he cashes up and closes up. It could take ages, but you’re content to wait inside while you wait for your brother to answer. You stand by the window, interested to see if Ben really will come back.

And he does.

You wander outside to speak to him, more out of boredom than anything else.

“Want me to wait with you until your boyfriend arrives?” He asks, and you’re a little touched at how considerate he’s being, so you tell him ok.

You don’t bother to correct him about the boyfriend – perhaps if he thinks you’re taken it’ll make you safer.  You’ve got this deep feeling that he isn’t dangerous, but it would be insanity to get into a car with him nevertheless – he’s a complete stranger. Still, you’re bored and you want to chat to the nice man, because it might be the first charming, intelligent conversation you’ve had all week. Was that so bad?

So you make him switch the engine off and take the keys out and put the keys where you can see them, and then you get in the car but keep the car doors firmly open so you can escape if he tries anything. He’s a little bemused, but he understands your justifiable caution.

You chat and he’s really kind, and doesn’t ask you the normal dumb stripper questions (“aren’t your family ashamed of you?” “Are you doing this to fund a crack habit?” “How do you not get turned on on the job?”). He’s genuinely interested in you. Like, outside of work you. And yes, naturally he is a little curious about the job, but it’s quite cute watching him struggle to phrase the questions in a way that isn’t rude, and you do your best to answer truthfully. He seems satisfied with the answers, if a little thoughtful.

After about 20 minutes you get a call from your brother, apologising that he has to stay later at work. He tells you he’s happy to put you into a taxi. You roll your eyes and tell him no thanks.

“Ok,” Ben says as you get off the phone. “What’s the plan? How do we get you home safe?”

You think about it for a little while and then ask him if he’d mind accompanying you home. You could take the tube halfway and then it was a 20 minute walk to yours. You feel rude asking for all that but he just says sure, of course, no problem. I’ll just come back for my car later.

The more you’re with him the safer you feel. He carries your heavy bag all the way home and he doesn’t flirt. And you really, really appreciate that. And even though you wouldn’t even mind if he did - in fact, you kind of really wish he would - he doesn’t.

“Aren’t you tired?”  You wonder when you’re getting near the house. “No.”

You get home and you both stand awkwardly on the doorstep, and when it becomes clear he’s not going to invite himself inside you give him a kiss on the cheek and thank him and shut the door. You stand with your back up against it for a while, heart pounding, until you just bite the bullet and fling it open again, charging back out. You run after him and grab his wrist and he spins around in shock, shoulders softening when he sees it’s just you.

“Are you ok-” He starts at the same time as you ask him whether he wants to come inside. He tries to hide the fact that he can’t quite believe his luck.

You take him in and sit him down and ask if he wants a drink. 

“I could do with a shot, if I’m honest.” He says, a little shakily.

You search the cupboards and pour him out some tequila, and a beer from the fridge as well. You watch how quickly he slams the liquor, and realise he’s nervous.

You explain that you need to have your tea.

“Do you want anything?”

“No, thanks.”

You reheat some rice and come and perch on the arm of the sofa with your feet on him as you chat. The TV is on in the background, and because it’s three in the morning, American sport is on. He seems to get quite into it, so you excuse yourself to get ready for bed and leave him there.

You have a shower and brush your teeth, the hot water a tonic for your sore muscles as you scrub the sweat and grime of the club off your skin. You pass the kitchen on the way back to your room, and peep in. Ben’s texting frantically, and you have to stifle a giggle, imagining what he’s telling his friends. You wonder whether they’ll even believe him. 

You materialise in the kitchen doorway a minute later, hanging around the edge of the door with a little smirk on your face. 

Wet hair and pink Primark pajamas. it’s a stark contrast to the way you looked in your heels.

Ben turns the off the TV. He sits back to look at you. It’s silent.

“Why didn’t you give me a lapdance?” He asks suddenly. “Before?”

Barefoot, you pad across the wooden kitchen floor until you’re standing between his legs. He’s leaning back against the sofa to look up at you, half finished bottle of beer still in one hand.

“Do you want one now?” You whisper. Your voice is hoarse. 

He shakes his head, almost imperceptibly. 

“Just kiss me.” He whispers.

Not two hours ago he was looking at you nearly naked, watching you twirl and gyrate on strange men for money. You don’t know why it’s now that you’re suddenly nervous.

You plop down gently in his lap. His hand grabs for your waist automatically. Your eyes flutter closed, and you lean in minisculely until his lips are grazing yours. 

You grab the beer bottle out of his hand and set it down on the floor without breaking the kiss, and then, grabbing the material of his shirt in your fists, you push him backwards onto the sofa until he’s horizontal. 

– 

“Ben.” You manage as he pushes into you for the first time, your voice coming out as no more than a breathy moan. 

You’ve migrated from the sofa to your bedroom, and he’s got you lying on your tummy underneath him, one foot hooked around the back of his calf, encouraging him to go deeper. Harder.

Perhaps the best thing about sleeping with men who know you’re a stripper is how hard they always try to please you. It’s as if they think your job is synonymous with getting tons of action, that they’re competing with the orgies they imagine you attend every night and honestly, you’re not complaining. 

Ben’s already made you come twice at this point - once with his mouth, once with his fingers, and by the time he enters you there’s little you can do but moan and whimper into the pillow. 

“I don’t have a condom.” He’d warned as you took his hand and led him towards your bedroom, switching all the lights off on the way, the house getting darker and darker each time. 

“That’s alright.” You’d said as you’d laced your fingers through his, turning to face him on the threshold of your bedroom doorway. “I’ve got plenty.”

He’d laughed. 

Now, after he’s nudged your legs apart with his knees in order to slam into you deeper, you’re approaching your third orgasm of the night. He’s getting close too, hips starting to stutter against you as his breaths grow heavy and ragged. 

His arms pack in at some point, shaking on either side of you as he seems not to be able to hold himself above you any longer. His elbows tremble and collapse under him, and he lays out on top of you instead, doing his best not to squash you into the mattress. 

“Sorry.” 

He murmurs a breathy giggle into your ear. You shivered. 

“Are you close?” You reply, no more than a whisper in the dark. You turn your head to rest in the crook of your elbow so you can look at him. You find his face close to yours. 

“Y-Yeah.” He says with some effort. He sounds it. 

The feeling of his body weight on top of you, being covered by him - your high is coming now whether you want it too or not. 

“M’gonna..” You trail off at the same time as he says, “Me too-” and you feel the throb of him inside you. 

Ben lets out a long groan, resting his sweaty forehead against the back of your neck as he comes, and you reach around to to cradle the back of his head. 

You don’t even make a sound as you hit your peak - you’re already cried out. Only able to silently clench your teeth and your fists and your toes as you convulse around him. 

“Stay.” You tell him, after.

“What?”

“Stay.” 

It’s four in the morning, and you’ve suddenly remembered his car is still parked outside of the club. And plus, you’re not quite ready to let go of him yet. 

“Okay.” He says quietly, tentatively reaching out to stroke your bare arm in the dark. 

—

You woke late the following morning, and since neither of you had work the next day, (obviously), you decided to go to the gym together as a date. You had  asked Ben if he wanted to go to a restaurant, but he can’t right now because he’s in heavy training for a shoot next week.

Skip to a few months later and you two are happily dating, and his favourite game to play is to come in to the club on random nights and surprise you, blending in with the other customers while he patiently waits until you’re free for a lap dance. It’s amazing, but by the time the song ends he’s got you aching to finish up and come home.

He still picks you up from work (another great perk of having a boyfriend without a 9-5), and by now he’s a familiar face among the rest of the staff. Needless to say they’re all in love with him. Sometimes, he’ll come down a bit early and come in for a drink while he waits for you to get finished up. It’s not uncommon to come out of the changing rooms to find him sat on the bar stool, but you can rest assured he’s never watching the naked girls – he’s usually chatting football with the bar tender.

[makeste]

BnHA Bonus Diversion: Horikoshi’s Sketches

of all the things I could have spent time writing a post about on my morning off, it ended up being this. but in my defense, Horikoshi’s sketches are actually amazing and this was kind of overdue.

so! as you may know, Horikoshi Kouhei frequently gets bored and doodle-y and is then kind enough to share the resulting drawings with us. sketchy boi. but not sketchy like that. though he did invent Mineta so maybe a little. 

anyway, because he’s so disgustingly talented, these pictures are usually amazing. and there are a lot of them. when I finally got around to doing this post, I ran a search for “Horikoshi sketches” and it turned out there was a whole wiki page dedicated just to them (god bless whoever is running the BnHA wiki, they do such a good job). and, well...

two hundred and eighty-eight. you may recognize this as being nearly fifty more than the current number of chapters. this would mean he’s releasing at least one sketch a week and has been doing so for the past five years! fortunately (for me, who has to do a recap of all these), this number is slightly misleading, as this page apparently includes some of the character sketches he did for the volume omakes. so I don’t have to go through 300 sketches omfg. but still, there are a lot! so I’ll just go through them and post my favorites and see how many we can get through in this post I guess.

these are all in alphabetical order according to their file names on the wiki, and like I said, I’m not doing all of them, just the ones that catch my eye the most. which is still a ton of them. honestly we’re about to find out whether tumblr text posts have image limits. (ETA: the limit does not exist!)

right off the bat we are getting off to a great start! love me the ladies of class 1-A. these girls are all so, so valid. I love how Deku is there too and his hair is transforming into a tree or something.

this is a sketch from chapter 10. this cat I guess just came up to them and they were like “...” and the cat was like “...” and long story short they’ve been like this now for a whole hour. meanwhile Aizawa is wondering where his cat has gone.

why are they dressed like it’s world war I. ??

holy fuck this cat. did it eat the other cat. anyway do you guys think Momo and Todoroki were walking to school together because that’s some cute shit omg. we know there is a cat that hangs out around Shouto’s house, so he’s probably good at playing with stray cats, and they probably really like him because he is calm and kind.

holy shit.

oh my god I need Tsuyu’s siblings to come visit the dorms at U.A. and play with Eri!! now.

posting this one because it’s cute, but also because it notably has nothing at all to do with the actual chapter 120. but that’s okay.

what, and I mean this sincerely, the fuck.

are they making chocolate?? you know, canonically we haven’t actually had a Valentine’s Day yet in the series, and now I’m really hoping we get a little mini plot. things that would happen:

every single girl makes chocolate for Todoroki and he just accepts it very politely and obliviously.

they actually make enough chocolate for everyone (except Mineta. and honestly they would have, except they know how that’s gonna go down, and no. Tsuyu really would have made you some pity chocolate dawg, but you brought this on yourself). but don’t end up giving it to everyone. specifically several of them thought better about giving some to Bakugou after seeing him react to the first unlucky person to give him some (y’all know that song I THREW IT ON THE GROUND by the Lonely Island? I’m sure you can understand my meaning here). and also Jirou gets way too flustered about giving some to Kaminari and chickens out. she gives it to Momo instead. hmmMMMM.

Satou also makes chocolate for everyone, EVEN BAKUGOU, and it’s delicious. no one is throwing his chocolate on the ground.

Aoyama makes chocolate for Deku because!!  ☆ ☆ WE ARE FRIENDS, MON AMI  ☆  ☆  ☆ oui oui baguette.

I love everything about this, but especially Ochako’s face. she’s just like. sincerely trying to figure out exactly where she went wrong.

excuse the fuck out of me but DID HORIKOSHI SERIOUSLY HINT AT THE FUCKING A-BAND A WHOLE ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY CHAPTERS BEFORE IT ACTUALLY HAPPENED. omfg. “what a cute AU!” “yes... AU,” Horikoshi agrees, nodding to himself. although after giving it some thought, he made the wise decision to switch Kaminari and Bakugou’s instruments. because we all know Bakugou was born to play the drums.

NO!!! VIDEO GAMES!!! IN CLASS!!!!!!!! [does a fucking aerial while emitting furious little huffs and bitchslapping Kirishima in the face]

I can’t figure out what’s going on in this picture. it appears to be baseball, except that Bakugou doesn’t have a bat. which I guess is the joke?? because his quirk is so strong he doesn’t need the fucking bat? except that I feel like that would result in either a broken arm or a blown-up baseball. idk this would make more sense with him as the pitcher.

“we really do love this AU, Horikoshi-sensei.” “yes... AU.”

this time it’s Shouji on the drums. I get that we all want to see Bakugou shred guitar, but it feels like he was just postponing the inevitable.

a full 85 chapters before he actually did this in the manga. god he really does enjoy foreshadowing with these things. I need to start paying more attention to these.

I have no words.

actually I do have words, and they are, “is that a fucking toothbrush.”

also is it just me or does he look, like, really swole in this pic. like, this is what the scarf has been hiding the whole time?? here we all thought he was a beanpole who subsisted off of energy bars and plain rice, but like. nope.

:) showing that there’s no hard feelings about the whole shooting-you-in-the-fucking-face thing. All Might is squeezing his hand awfully tightly, though.

all of them are so good-looking when they’re not trying. and then they open their mouths.

I am pained that there hasn’t at least been a karaoke chapter in one of the light novels yet, guys. pained. I NEED THIS.

holy fuck Todoroki. what are you, a mermaid?? I feel like this is a result of a prank gone wrong. like the other guys were sick of the girls always pining after him, and so they tried rubbing a balloon on his head in an effort to make him look ridiculous, only IT BACKFIRED COMPLETELY. shit.

fuck me I love this. of course Kami blowdries his hair and puts a ridiculous amount of effort into achieving the same kind of boyishly tousled look Todoroki is JUST NATURALLY BORN WITH. some things in life just aren’t fair. also lmao Deku.

oh my god. how are they all so cute. this was from episode 12 btw. you’re welcome for saving your life All Might.

I don’t have the slightest idea wtf is going on here but omg.

this was for episode 16 of the anime, a.k.a. the obstacle course episode of the Sports Festival arc in season 2. I can’t read what they’re saying, but I’ll tell you what, I know Bakugou is being a rude little shit and I’m here for it.

SHINSOUUUUUU. this was for episode 20. his one and only appearance in the anime so far. he knows he’s here for a good time not a long time.

lmao. my headcanon is that Monoma actually ended up losing after this, but somehow still managed to be smug about it.

lmaoooo. Kacchan refusing to even acknowledge that this is a thing that is happening for some reason.

HAWKS DID YOU REALLY KILL THIS MAN. COME ON OUT HERE I JUST WANT TO TALK.

I feel like taming Deku’s hair is arguably even more of a feat than taming Bakugou’s. meanwhile Iida looks 90% the same. and Todoroki is. well. just goes to show that this look is not for just anyone.

I have never in my life seen Katsuki so full on just done with life. like he is so fucking over this shit. he’s just rolled over and accepted it. I have never seen Bakugou fucking Katsuki just sigh and be all, “you know what, this might as well happen.” not until this moment. wow.

you guys I’m crying.

is it just me or do the little matroyshka dolls actually look like little nun Jeanists. though the hair swoosh is going the wrong way. Monomas, maybe.

HOLY SHIT I LOVE THIS? my god, how useful would Shouji’s quirk be for this sort of thing. and Shouto looks so surprised (on like, a Todoroki scale) to have actually caught something. oh my god. so fucking cute. c’mere you. someone needs a hair ruffle.

I feel like this is how Tokoyami would want to be remembered. yes I know he’s not dead.

oh my god. so I’ve seen this one floating around on tumblr, but like. ffff. it’s my favorite ever. they are. so. fucking. cute. both looking up to All Might. and then the contrast between their innocent happy faces and their shocked and worried expressions watching All Might at Kamino. god it fucking destroys me. all four of these kids need hugs goddammit. the older ones because they’re heartbroken, and the little bubbas just because they’re so stinkin’ cute omfg.

I LOVE HER AND I’M NOT SORRY. please Horikoshi give me more Bakufam in this upcoming arc. who do I have to bribe or threaten.

STRANGER DANGER omg. Toga no. that’s not nice.

Horikoshi what did my heart ever do to you for you to treat it like this.

villain Iida from episode 7 holy fuck I’m dying.

here come the New Year’s sketches! I’ve been looking forward to these. Kacchan photo strategy: never look directly at the camera.

I wonder which animal year 2016 was. rooster, probably.

fucking look at Todoroki fucking Shouto stuffing his face yet again. can you stop chewing for one fucking second. we’re trying to take a picture you slob.

the year is 2018. Horikoshi Kouhei attempts to draw a dog, because it’s the year of the fucking dog. it does not go well. panicked, he takes the All Might he’s already started drawing, and for some reason attempts to turn it into another dog. it goes even worse. now he’s really starting to sweat. “oh shit,” he whispers, drawing Deku upside-down in his unrest. “oh fuck.” finally he just draws Bakugou shouting the words HAPPY NEW YEAR in giant letters across the screen, hoping that’ll be enough to distract everyone from all the rest of it. it is not.

oh my god. thank you so much to everyone who went to SDCC and made him so happy. this is the purest thing I’ve ever seen. also loving Bakugou tolerating the shit out of All Might leaning on him omg. I’m so fucking weak for this as always.

this is Horikoshi’s most recent sketch! lookit, he’s so happy with the toy him omg. it actually is really badass.

league of dorks. I love Toga’s face. and how Horikoshi clearly put more effort into drawing Tomura’s Face Hand than the entire rest of the picture.

I don’t understand a single element of this. wow. also this is twice now that Horikoshi has drawn the fucking Predator in these sketches. just pointing that out. of all the films to make multiple references to. what’s going on here. and is Mineta playing the fucking little sister in Totoro. am I losing my fucking mind.

this was for the season 3 premiere. I love how Bakugou and Deku are wrestling for control of the screen. but he knows better than to touch Mineta I guess.

Iida and Ochako are the only two reacting appropriately here. Bakugou just looks concerned. to be fair I guess that’s appropriate too. but Deku is all “fuck YEAH All Might you go ahead and SMASH YOUR FACE RIGHT THROUGH THAT MONITOR” and I feel like his blanket approval of all his mentor’s actions has finally gone too far.

this just goes to show you that even a very simple sketch concept can pay off dividends if you play your cards right. good job Horikoshi.

he could run faster if he just pulled his fucking pants up. does anyone have any brain cells to spare for my son here. please he needs them. I don’t know what he thinks a belt is actually for...?

hello this is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen and also is Kirishima doing the kage bunshin pose from Naruto or.

sob Aizawa I’m dead. I fucking love how Mineta is like HE’S CLEARLY FINE IT WAS A FLOP as though Kirishima is not literally covered in fucking grape balls. something else I also love is that Katsuki is number 10 and Deku is number 11. even in a soccer match he can’t stand to be lower then his rival sob. also Ochako is straight up about to rip off Mina’s head jesus christ girl run.

there aren’t even words for how much I ship this. just emotions. omg.

this is one of those pictures that keeps getting more wtf the longer you stare at it. naturally your eyes are drawn to Todoroki’s reindeer antlers first. by contrast, Ochako looks relatively normal, even with the odd pose. but then you notice Deku’s Christmas tree hair. from there your eyes are drawn down to his strange lack of a shirt. and then, finally, you spot him. Tokoyami. you wonder if the mangaka has finally gone too far. you’re still not sure.

for once it’s not Todoroki who’s leaping into action with his mouth full. never one to back down from a challenge, Bakugou has picked the absolute least practical food to consume whilst in the middle of battling. I can barely eat spaghetti without making a mess when I’m not throwing down. I’m not sure what a good food to eat while throwing down would be, but maybe something more portable, like a calzone.

I feel drawn to him the same way one might be drawn to a stray cat, even though you’re pretty sure the cat is really wary of people and will probably try to claw or bite you if you get too close. I would like to pat him on the head, but he might try to blow me up. eh, worth it.

look at the Baku Protection Squad trying to do some fucking Abbey Road thing. damn you can really see how short Tokoyami is in this. also Bakugou buys pants that are at least three sizes too big I s2g.

and that’s it! anyways, this was fun as heck. I’ve bookmarked Horikoshi’s Twitter now so I can keep up with the new sketches as they’re released. this is fucking great, and a whole new bonus to being caught up with the manga that I haven’t been appreciating until now. fucking love it.

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh S4 Ep8: Magic Mai

So fun fact, I was out of town around this Thanksgiving and I grabbed a laptop from my Dad’s stack of machinery he’s sort of collected over the years and lo and behold--he put Linux on it.

Like I dunno if you all can relate to this problem, but everything he touches turns into Linux and he’s trying to live this Windows free/Mac free lifestyle, and I get it, I’m friends with so many vegetarians, but like I hate this laptop. I'm using Gimp to make these screenshots...So I can re-do them later in Photoshop because...it just doesn’t feel right to put Papyrus on this computer. It already has Linux. This poor machine has suffered enough. Long story short, this’ll be a small update because right clicking on linux is ass.

Also, because I was on a laptop and realized how small my blog is for the first time--I don’t have control over the size of pictures in text posts, tumblr does, and in this particular theme it’s not allowing me to change the size, and so do me a favor. Click ctrl and + at the same time a couple times (I’m assuming most of you are on firefox). There. the pictures are the right size now. If you hated that, you can click ctrl and - but like lets be real, my font is occasionally...tiny.

Anyway, we start discussing this episode on the confusing legs of the last one, where Mai is evil now, and it’s really not entirely clear if she’s possessed or if she’s just always been this way, or if she just FEELS like it.

And that’s all this episode is about, start to finish--is this Mai’s choice or was this not Mai’s choice? The answer is the same as it would be for a normal person: it’s complicated. Maybe it’s everybody’s choice. Maybe it was because no one did anything that Mai went completely haywire? Maybe it was because Mai hid how she was feeling so no one had any idea she needed help? Or, overall, maybe Mai is kind of a toxic person and wanted to be this way? Especially while she’s on children’s cartoon card drugs?

(read more under the cut)

So to start off, a weird thing happened at the beginning of this episode. After about 4 seasons, someone finally mentioned this:

How many seasons has Yugi been talking to himself? Like, out loud. In front of everyone and Kaiba? This whole time, right? Like Valon just dashed my headcanon where I figured Yugi was smart enough to think his thoughts instead of speak his thoughts. He’s just not that smart, unfortunately.

Meanwhile, Mai has managed to attract this other (teenager?) guy and like...to go worse than Joey so quickly is kind of shocking. Mai just seems embarrassed by the amount of very young boys in love with her. And she’s not even a cougar about it, she doesn’t really seem to want this to happen but it keeps on happening.

And although he is essentially the card form of a drug pusher, Valon has this soft spot for a girl I guess to give him some sort of redeemable flaw. However, she only wears tube tops and minis and spends like hundreds of dollars on her hair, so it doesn’t really make him seem any less shallow, tbh.

PS I’m surprised, that unlike all the other characters on Yugioh, I can’t just type in Valon’s name into Google and get his age and weight. No idea what his age is, and if you know, feel free to tell me but he just seems...exactly the same age as Joey. He seems very 17. Maybe it’s the obsession with motorcycles and children’s playing cards? Maybe it’s his big ol childlike eyes? He just seems young and niave like how a teenager who just fell in love with a very angry older woman would.

Joey tries to remind everyone, multiple times, that this game is the worst idea ever since it requires one of them to super die, but Mai is on card drugs so I don't know why they bothered. Also, why is Joey still surprised by this after 4 seasons of this?

Yo it’s S4 and Mai witnesses magic non-stop but still has basically no idea how it works. She really did say “I have no soul” and it was like...I’m 90% certain she literally thinks she has no soul right now. Which I guess, statistically speaking, is rare to actually have a still intact soul after hanging out with the main villain, with the way this show typically goes.

Meanwhile, last episode it really sounded like Duke Devlin was driving to Pegasus’ company building. It really sounded like he would have gone directly there, since Weevil and Rex told him that Yugi was going to Pegasus.

Remember that Duke Devlin works for Pegasus and probably has his own parking spot.

So where did he go instead?

You know how there’s only one gas station in the entirety of America?

I can’t believe it blew up.

Y’all what is the red splotch in the middle of the pile ps? That is legitimately a pile of blood, right? I didn’t shop that in. There’s just a red puddle in this kid’s show.

Y’all what is that? Like was there a scene with a red handkerchief that I missed? Is that a red handkerchief?

But to move past the mysterious pool of blood that confirms those bikers are so hella dead, I have no idea why Duke was here, I have no idea how he got the tip off that Yugi visited this place, but then he turned around and went back to SF so like...I guess he’ll arrive 3 days from now because again, they are in Arizona. They keep telling me this is right outside SF but like--Mesas. There’s Mesas.

And then this happened.

That one guy on the writing staff who just stans Seto Kaiba so hard got into the drawing room, I see.

PS someone had to pose for this shot for them to draw this shot from this angle.

Meanwhile, lets see why Mai turned evil. Ah, because it is Yugioh, the biggest reason is that she has no friends (probably because she’s got the most acidic personality known to man) and isn’t card popular enough and got super bitter and jealous.

Speaking as an artist who is online, I can understand the frustration here. Sometimes (99% of the time) you work really hard and no one cares and you get like 2 notes. And honestly, why should they? Like, why do you do it in the first place?

Mai echoes a lot of the issues of Seto last season, where she wants so badly to be the absolute best to prove herself to the ghosts of her past who really don’t care any more.

But, since Mai was in a coma when Seto got through all of that, I guess she never got the memo and still seems stuck on just wanting to be the best with no other reason than “to be the best” which again, sounds so much like art school problems. This is everyone who has ever had an interest in animation. We all go through that phase.

Generally we don’t take peoples souls as a reaction to that type of discouragement, but then Mai made sure to mention in almost a foot note that she did spend like an entire season and a half trapped in Marik's shadow realm. And that kind of effed her up in a really big way.

Thanks, Marik.

Really feels like Marik should be dealing with this problem--really feels like maybe Marik is the only person that we can actually point to and say “Oh yeah, that guy is to blame for Mai right now” And he is the only person that Mai does not actively go out and try to kill.

And I’ll have you know I just deleted like a 15 K word rant about the difference between character assassination and your character just--evolving into a jackass, and how it’s OK to have your character change into a jackass, especially after trauma. I felt this need to really have to defend this ancient writing technique that people have been using since about as long as stories have been around.

Then I remembered “Oh yeah, I’m just making this point because a few number of very loud idiots on the internet want to have very lukewarm hot-takes about popular characters solely because they enjoy baiting people on twitter into getting into week-long arguments that don’t go anywhere.” and I just...let it go. I let it just...go into the ether. Ah. The peace that comes when you already know you’re right.

But anyway, back to Yugioh, which thankfully doesn’t take a stance on this nuanced subject, and only presents this very serious problem without actually offering a solution (because there isn’t a one fit’s all solution to falling off the deep end and getting into drugs and murder), Mai decides to just go and blame this decision she made on anyone else. Because, why take responsibility for your actions, when you can pin it on people who were on the other side of the freakin planet when it happened?

Like, I just want to remind y’all that she was in ATLANTIS.

I wonder how good the cell reception is in ATLANTIS.

I just...Mai is like in her mid twenties maybe thirty’s. She’s so arbitrarily old that she plays Yugi’s Mom in the video game spinoff where they’re reincarnations of medieval times. That’s how old she is.

Imagine if you made some epically BAD decisions because you were jealous of some teenager’s success and didn’t want to be weak anymore, and then you confronted those teens, and said “This is all your fault.”

Imagine looking someone as dysfunctional as Joey Wheeler and telling him “You made me like this” because lollllllll

And I present this as a joke but like basically this happens all freakin time. We’ve all had a friend like Mai. Past tense of course, because it’s really hard to keep a friend like Mai for very long. (One of my friend’s who went Mai destroyed my apartment one summer and then literally blamed it on me for going to California for 2 months and leaving her unattended.) But like...don’t let Mai’s do it to you. They can get better, but only if it’s their choice, really. You can’t force them to save themselves.

But, as Mai was finally ready to give up cards and probably improve her quality of life by a huge degree, unfortunately, she got sucked right back into the trap.

Bro note: being a serial murderer cultist is basically working at McDonald's in this universe so maybe this wasn’t even that weird?

But that aside, this is alllllmost like a dark version of “Mai got into an abusive relationship to fill the void in her heart” except she’s not even really dating this guy? Like she hates this guy? He’s just kinda there?

Y’all I really can’t tell if Valon is in an abusive relationship with Mai who is using him for power or if she’s in an abusive relationship with him because he only wants her pretty face and wants to kill Joey because Joey liked her once--and maybe it’s both? Maybe both of these people are just...really bad for each other?

Overall Joey is kind of tossed into this not-a-love-triangle and I’m like

“Hey show? show? Am I supposed to....were any these people ever dating? Is there supposed to be an implied history? Am I supposed to get attached to this?” because I mean...the only character who was able to get some actual physical romance on this show was Pegasus when he macked the ghost of his dead wife because, again, Pegasus is the freakin king of this entire show. Of course HE can do it.

But have this show clarify what the hell is happening between Valon and Mai? I’m gonna take a bet that we will never get to see it beyond Valon being like “Ain’t she a beaut!” Like Steve Irwin talking to an alligator, and Mai just pretending he doesn’t exist. Yugioh romances are so completely one way every single time. If something more than that happens, I’ll be

shook.

Anyway, as all the children on the show keep repeating over and over again, they haven’t had any contact with Mai since she left the freakin country and they went back to High School.

And so someone threatens to kill himself, as is Yugioh tradition, and someone else barks at him to NOT kill himself, as is also tradition, and they decide to play real cards next episode.

This whole entire episode, PS, Joey went out of his way to just...not play cards. that was this whole episode. Way to draw out a card game over three episodes, I guess.

Anyway if you want to read these from the start you can do so by clicking the link here

[slytherhell]

Send these to your favorite Authors and let them blab! What is your total word count on AO3? How often do you write? Do you have a routine for writing? What’s your favorite kinks/tropes/pairing? Do you have a favorite fic of yours? Your fic with the most kudos? Anything you don’t like about your writing? Now something you do like! Send it to some of your favorite Authors to spread some love <3

aH, I’M A FAVORITE AUTHOR?? LIKE YOU ACTUALLY ENJOY MY WRITING?? THANK YOU, SWEET ANON  !! <33 ( I’ve lowkey been looking forward to asks like these! + I talk a lOT so uh, * cracks fingers * buckle the fuck up, mah dude. )

//////

Total word count on AO3 : 60634 ( and this is with the 3/4 of my fics still not updated since being posted. i’m not sure how it’s this much already, the word count, that is. the most amount of words i’ve written - for a total fic - was about 5k words; then it went up to 16k+ after the food fair entry . just think of how big my total word count could be when i get my writing muse back! )

How often I write: I used to update regularly, back in about 2015. Every day, I would have a new chapter for my fics (on Wattpad, because that was my first main writing platform, but Wattpad’s dead now so we’re here.) 

In fact, I used to have a full writing plan; I had about ten hp fics on my account. I picked out the top ones I had the most muse for - which was three, two drarry and one wolfstar - and told myself I would update those fics whenever I felt inspired to. 

In the end, I ended up updating those fics three times every week for a good two months, and I had about 24ish chapters for the drarry fics, and close to 20ish chapters for the wolfstar ( I started that fic at a later time than the other two. )  

I kept this pattern up, and made sure that everyday after school, I would clear a writing space for myself on my bed so I could write. That helped me a lot and I had so many creative juices...it was insane how much I wrote.

Now, however, I write only whenever I feel inspired to and have enough time + energy ( aka, when I don’t pass out from exhausation and not working on too many things in school - I had and still have a lot of /art/ projects. )

I try my best to write all of my ideas down, but I usually don’t have much inspiration to turn them into longer fics, or anything beyond a simple idea, so most of those get chucked and forgotten.

The ones I do manage to keep around, I usually scribble down the idea on a piece of paper, and write a starter line and/or paragraph to see how it would look if I were to continue it as an actual fic, then determine what I do with it when I get home.

There’s no true definition as to how much I write. I would just say I write depending on my current mood and situation.

Writing Routine: 

It used to start in either a swivel chair in the corner of my room, or at the wooden dining room table with a hot mug of fruit-flavored tea. ( It now varies from sitting upright on my bed with music blasting out of my headphones, on the living room couch with the low murmur of the t.v. in the background, or laid sprawled out on the floor with a Kubz Scouts video in the background. )

I try to take a few minutes to write the beginning paragraph on paper, or at least attempt to outline the story ( this usually lasts for about five minutes because I CANNOT sit still, and I’ll fidget a lot if I’m required to sit still for a while. ) 

I’ll usually look up fics of the similarity to whatever I’m writing, and get further story inspiration from them ( I’ll usually keep those fics up in a seperate tab to read back over when I need help and/or a burst of writing  inspiration )

If it’s something I‘m not quite sure about, or something I’m not properly educated on, I ALWAYS do a good bit of research before even remotely writing about it. ( This is something I do NOT skip over, like at all. )

I’m almost always blasting music or video audio through my headphones whenever I write ( I search and listen to music when I write, depending on the theme and the feel of the story. If I’m writing fluff, you’ll probably catch me listening to beautiful piano music. If it’s a dark story - gods, I love dark stories - I’ll be listening to dark music, be it dark piano versions of songs, ambient horror music. And lastly, if I’m writing something emotional, I’ll usually stop by songs that made me cry and sad as child, or that cause me to zone out of reality in present day. )

I try to set a timer whenever I write. ( While it intimidates me, it also pushes me to write more because me eyes are constantly flicker over to the timer, and the closer I see it move down to zero, the faster I write and edit. I kick in about a good twenty words at the very start of the countdown. )

( And unless you wanna hear me rant about how much I get off task and procrasinate writing whenever I can’t figure out how to make a scene work or something of the sort, then this is pretty much it. Oh, and I do a few read-overs and editing when I’m done with the first rough draft. )

Kinks in Fics:

I really like a good ‘ol leather kink in a fic ( specifically when the second half of the pairing, *cough, cough* draco in a drarry fic* is pulling on and stretching on leather gloves, and I blame @mzuul for that because the minute I saw her Draco Malfoy Bad Boy series art, that kink was developed and I’ve loved it since. ) 

Another one, this is gonna sound really gross + suprising for those that know me, but watersport kink. ( This was first developed when I read my very first fanfictions, and I found a few good drarry fics with this in them so this kink is here to stay )

Hair pulling kink. ( It started out with reading fics fics where Draco would either accidentally or deliberately tug on Harry’s hair, and Harry ended up loving it - but now, I read fics were both Draco and Harry have this kink because it’s actually really good. )

Praise Kink ( Started out with only Harry, but I also like fics where Draco has this kink. I blame @goldentruth813 entirely )

Hung! Harry ( Hung! Like! A Horntail! - this, this fic, is all i’m going to say..) 

Parseltongue Kink ( When! Draco! has! this! and! Harry! somehow! still! keeps! his! ability! to! speak! Parseltongue! and uGH,, THIS IS SO GOOD. ) 

Tropes in Fics:

Legitimate! Enemies to Friends to Lovers

sLOW BURN

Sectumsempra angst

Bi Harry

Pansy is a lesbian

Draco finding out how the Durshleys treated Harry and becoming absolutely lIVID at the news

Dark! Drarry

BAMF! Harry

BAMF! Draco

When they cross paths after a few years and get to know each other + proper character developement + when they clash and they have their ups and downs, causing people to wonder how they’re even comptaible but in the end, they make it work and are able to settle down with each other and enjoy the rest of their lives.

wHEN! THEY ANIMOSITY! STAYS!

Long-haired! Draco

Bearded! Harry

aUROR PARTNERS

Raising a kid together ( tEDDY-! )

pINING

mUTUAL PINING

Sassy! (Canon) Harry

Flustered! Draco

When they’re equally sassy and equally ruthless + being able to get their shit done, and staying on top of their game

When their kids become friends and that forces them to become friends as well and hang out with each other more often

When their kids wants their dads (Draco and Harry) to end up together and make it happen

when it’s hella fluffy

when it’s hella aNGSTY ( haha, chaotic neutural )

Top! Harry!

Bottom! Draco ( I can see them both as either or both being versatile but I really love when Harry tops )

Realistic first times 

Their friends setting them up ( I love when Draco, Pansy and Blaise are best friends in fics like this !! )

The constant switch of calling each other by first and last names, depending on the(ir) mood

When they are eQUALS

When they still have bANTER AND STILL ARGUE BUT W/O THE PREVIOUS HATE

When their relationship is real and raw that you can pratically feel it

hURT AND COMFORT ( real heavy on the hurt, just a bit on the comfort bc not drarry all fics have to have happy endings )

Anything involving them both working on a case together

Auror! Harry x Unspeakable! ( or even Healer! ) Draco

Jealous! Draco x (Still) Oblivious! Harry

Oblivious! Draco x Jealous! Harry

Protective! Harry ( Protective! Draco as well )

Beauxbatons! Draco x Hogwarts/Gryffindor! Harry

fORCED PROXIMITY

Multilingual! Draco

French speaking! Draco

Wandless magic ( for both )

POC! Harry ( This is my number one things in fics...I just love POC! Harry <33  )

Proper mention and represenation of Harry and/or Draco’s PTSD; following the war

Power couple! Drarry

Pairings:

Drarry ( OTP )

Pansmione

Linny

Blaico 

+ a few hundred more ( for all of them, but the kinks in general ) , but you’re probably gonna have to ask off anon bc i don’t wanna lose to remainder of friends i still have left on this site, over this post. ( i keep forgetting that not all drarry accounts follow me - i have some rpers, general artists, people following me with their main acounts + multifandom blogs and i feel like every time i get started up about anything drarry, they just...regret their decision to have followed me xD but you can kinda get the gist of my kinks, right? )

Favorite Fic ( of mine ) : While I constantly dog on my own writing skills, I actually do have some of my fics that I love. But my most favorite?  I’d have to say ‘(Fuck A) Silver Lining’

It’s a Draco Malfoy redemption fic I began writing earlier this year ( and yes, it was inspired/influenced by the P!ATD song. )

I mean, I haven’t updated it since I posted it - I began writing it on old Wattpad before I left that hellsite, then I later posted it to my ao3.

It’s my favorite because I really got to explore and go more in depth with Draco’s character, unlike J.K. R*wling.

And I basically filled in all the pieces that led up to the part of Draco’s life  we witness ( well, y’all, bc I never read it, ha ) in C*rsed Ch*ld 

I basically combined in every post-war Draco headcanon I ever thought of into one whole fic and while it takes you into his mind and shows you just how much the war has changed him, it is actually wholesome. I mean, we’ve got angst, hurt/comfort, finding love, and I even had a few scenes that were so fluffy and pure that I was crying as I wrote - which is why I haven’t updated. Other than dealing with shit irl, this story gets me really emotional and I just love it so much.. <33

Fic with most Kudos:

‘just the right addition’ with 65 kudos.

summary :

harry has a leather kink. but draco didn't know that when he showed up on the field in a leather jacket, and suede leather gloves.

What I don’t like about my writing: 

I really don’t like how I transition from scene to scene in my fics. I feel like they’re extremely sloppy and really ruin the story; especially if I had a really good idea/path for the story. ( I also don’t like how I constantly compare my writing, then try and force to change my writing style so it sounds half as good as the author’s writing style of the story that I’m reading )

What I DO like about my writing:

Um, I really like how I start most of my fics off with dialogue. I like how I have a lot on the page, but it still blends in well to get its point across. And also, if it’s a one shot, I like how I have a beginning, middle, and end for the story.

Beginning: Introducing the prompt, and what’s going on with it

Middle: What the characters actions lead to, kinda showing you where it’s going to be heading soon

End : the general idea of the ending/aftermath of it + something like an epilogue, wraps things up in a way.

/////

Thank you so much for sending me this, anon!! <33 I actually really enjoyed talking, and answering these questions! ( I just feel bad for how much I wrote bc you and the others that follow probably don’t wanna read all of this xD )

Again, thank you so much, and I hope you’re well!

-Teia

[thebrotherscupheadandmugman]

Double Z’s Fourth Follower Forever!!

Four hundred. Four hundred followers. When did I start this blog? December 13, 2017. That’s four months. Four months. My mind is literally blown rn guys. Ever since I was young, my only dream was to make people smile. I literally cannot even fathom that my words make at least 400 people do that. If you literally told me as a child that I would enjoy writing, I would never have believed you. 

Anyway, the follower forever is going under the cut this time, because the last thing I want is to clog people’s dashes asdghjk

Let’s start things off with the blog that inspired me to join the rpc in the first place. They were recommended to me while I was more active on my Team Skull OC blog, and I would see their writing and was inspired to join once I knew I wanted to write for Cuphead. Miles of @gamblingcxp @playerxwo @islandkitsu @team-strife @vulpinewarrior and probably more that I can’t think of! Miles is honestly such a sweet heart, and such a supportive bean! I wouldn’t be anywhere close to where we stand now with out them! They deserve all the love and support in the world!!

Next is @plate-of-blins! Some of y’all know how selective I am with OC’s, but Blinchik is so creative and the mun is a freakin’ cinnamon roll! Not to mention clever and smart! English is well known to be one of the hardest second languages to learn, yet she speaks it so fluently and comprehensively! She probably speaks it better than some people who are native English speakers! Her and her OC deserve more love and attention!!

@djimmi-the-great-and-powerful. I’ve gotta be honest. Back in December, Djimmi was a somewhat forgettable boss for someone who hadn’t played it yet. I usually remembered bosses from their music after I bought the soundtrack, and Pyramid Peril was probably my least favorite. But now Djimmi’s a character I really love! Puphead too! You will absolutely adore their Puphead! Sweet wooden boi!! Mun is just an absolutely fantastic person too! Whether you need someone to laugh and make fart jokes with, or you need someone to give you advise, djimmi-the-great-and-powerful is a great partner and friend!! Mun also runs @askredwoodfamily and @the-devils-waiter

@askcupheadthings. Sweet boi. Sweet mun. Whether you need some angst in you life or ketchup, Taco Taako has got you freakin’ covered!! What can I really say about Taco Taako that hasn’t already been said? We may have disagreeing headcanons, but the fact that they are willing to make compromises and work with their partner is glorious! I personally think that’s what every partner should do when it comes to familial characters! Not only that, but they will go out of their way to make sure their partner is comfortable, which is so so important and admirable!! Taako also runs @boristwolf @agentlemanlyscientist @devilish-dishes @merman-cuphead @barry-boxington-the-box-kid @a-home-for-broken-mugs and @the-real-clockwork-queen

I know that @easyriches is on hiatus until they get out of school, but their mun is the frickin’ best! They’re so supportive and will never fail to make you laugh. Or scream. Usually at memes. Heck, they managed to start a war over “Milk and Cookies” vs “Cookie and Milk”...needless to say, I ended up firing them from cookies. They also combined Squeesh and Cronch to create ‘squonch,’ which I later found out upon listening to the sound effect for Goopy’s fight that it was the perfect onomatopoeia for a slime getting crushed by a tombstone falling from the sky. Who knew?

@cutieunderthesea is such a love honestly! I know we don’t talk or interact much, but I seriously love them, and love seeing them pop up in my activity feed! English is also their second language, but you probably wouldn’t have guessed that if they didn’t say so on their blog!! They’re much smarter than me, and they’re also learning how to code and stuff, which I think is really cool! They also run @sent-from-above

@dxmonsxcarnival is such a great friend that looks out for you!! I genuinely feel bad that our threads tend to get dropped before they even get started, but honestly, even if you don’t role-play much they are still a great person to talk to! I mean they keep a folder of cat images for their internet friends when they need a pick-me-up! How awesome and thoughtful is that?! They also run @shyxbrotherxmxgman and @scaredxsightless

@bashfulreptile and I haven’t known each other long, but I really like the way they portray the dragon bean!! I hope we talk more and have more threads in the future!!

@do-or-dice and I think so much alike when it comes to striving for accuracy of the times!! I even headcanon that the events in the game take place in 1934, making this blog take place in 1935- which just so happens to also be the same year that they write in! They’re super fun to share headcanons with too! I know I suck at talking friend, but I hope we interact more in the future!!

@inthediehouse aka @hornedheathen! So much potential for angst! I know I haven’t interacted with you Dice much, but I hope to change that at some point!! I really love our threads together and I hope these two fools can butt heads more in the future!!

@devilishcrybaby I know we haven’t known each other long as well, nor have we had many consistent threads, but I can just tell we’ll get along just great!! 

@cala-marix is such a sweetheart too! Sweet and caring! I’m so glad whenever I see them on my dash no matter what blog they’re using! Whenever I see cat photos on my dash I can’t help but think of them! Good friend! They also run @rxmor-honeybottomx

I think this’ll be my cutoff on saying nice things because it’s been almost two hours since I started this I think. I’m only going to mention their personal since they run so many Cuphead side-blogs and I don’t know them all. I know they caused a bit of controversy a little while back, but given their young age, I’d say it’s more than excusable, and definitely worth giving them a second chance. @eye-tossing-ghostie is really such a nice person to talk to- again even if you don’t end up doing much role-playing. They’re kind and caring and they try their best to be calm and understanding. They really do mean well, and I think they deserve more patience than I see them get. They really are a nice kid, but they’re still growing an learning. I consider them a friend, even if we don’t talk or interact much.

Hold on to your butts cuz we ain’t done yet.

Cuphead: @impvlsive-gxmblcr @porcelainjokers @confidentcuphead @twocupsandacontract (I believe I’ve mentioned the others I’ve interacted with already?)

Mugman: @merrymugsy @porcelainjokers @twocupsandacontract(Again I’ve already mentioned the rest)

King Dice: @six-sided-sinner @snakeiis @gamest-intheland @diceptixn

Root Pack: @psycarota

Goopy le Grande: @bnlgoopywooper

Cagney Carnation: @getouttatherosebush @txtaldomination @twocupsandacontract @sillycxrnxtion 

Ribby&Croaks: @wrongsidefthelilyp4d

Hilda Burg: @a-threatenin-zeppelin

Djimmi the Great: @its-your-pal-djimmi

Baroness Von Bon Bon: @notyoursugarqueen

Wally Jr: @juniorwarbles

Beppi the Clown: @inkwellharlequin (Mentioned the rest I believe?)

Brineybeard: @drunkensxilor

Cala Maria: @highseachighjinxs (mentioned the rest)

Werner Werman: @muriinecorps @vermin-veteran @rat-in-a-can

Dr. Khal: @whoyougonnakahl

Phantom Express: @blxndspxctcr

Casino Bosses: @wheezycigar @rxssian-roulette @poker-chip-cowboy @melty-8ball

Devil: @casinx @whenyouareevil (I know there’s way more but I either can’t find them or already mentioned them)

Demon Cups/Mugs: @goodmugbadmug @diabolical-ceramics

OCs: @cxrtoon-hxnter @saltyocsrp @hellssecretary @doggone-doneit @claireinette @polaroidxcamera @williamstripes @rollthediceheads @drumline-doom @cupfull-o-muses

Whew!! That was a lot!! Now some may be missing because I have the memory of a gnat, and others may have gone on hiatus. There were a couple of people on here that I was going to mention but then I remembered they were on hiatus for one reason or another. So if I mentioned a blog that’s no longer active, I really apologize for that. If I forgot to mention you, I also apologize for that.

That being said, that y’all so much again for 400!! Next follower forever happens at 800!! We can totally do this guys!! I love you all so much!

~ Double Z))

[words-writ-in-starlight]

also if you wish to share your Thoughts about any and/or all of the tres horny boys...

MY B O Y S.  I love them so much you guys.  So much.

Send me a character and I’ll write 10 headcanons for them!

Merle is a hit in most places they go–he’s irritable and rude and has a weird plant Thing and Taako and Magnus can’t really see why everyone seems to think he’s some kind of late-middle-age dwarven silver fox.  It gets even weirder when they’re wandering around Goldcliff and someone sidles up to Magnus to ask if Merle’s single and Magnus yells without thinking “GROSS THAT’S MY DAD” and Taako whips around and doesn’t even question what’s going on before he launches into a rant about it.  It all makes so much more sense once they get their memories back.  

On the one hand, I like the headcanon I’ve seen that Magnus is either illiterate or just very bad at reading and writing, but come on, y’all, he was part of Fantasy NASA too.  I propose Magnus Burnsides who everyone assumes to be illiterate, the standard muscleheaded tank, resulting in kind of an awkward moment when the Director doesn’t hesitate to order the three of them to read up on the Relics.  Merle’s the one who blurts it out, can Magnus even read, and Magnus is good-natured about it, of course I can read, Merle, what the fuck, but it’s a confusion that happens again.  And again.  And again.  

(It makes Lucretia remember the way Magnus read up obsessively on the engineering functions of the Starblaster and all the mechanics he needed to get there and the way he was second only to Davenport in understanding the ship, and she hates herself for taking that from him.)

Taako’s the one to kill Governor Kalen, eventually.  He and Merle hear word of him off in a town near Goldcliff and Merle plays lookout while Taako levitates himself right through the goddamn unlocked fourth-floor window.  Guards can kiss Taako’s fine, fine ass.  Guards ain’t shit.  Taako does it without magic, because he thinks that’s how Magnus would do it–with a knife, which is maybe not how Magnus would do it, but not with magic.  Kalen is asleep, and Taako shakes him awake first because he made a fucking promise, and he’s a little surprised by how normal and almost harmless the man looks, blinking up at him in surprise.  And then Taako says, “This is for Julia” and casts Silence with one hand while he brings the hand with the knife down on Kalen’s throat.  It’ll be morning by the time the guards show up, because an orc and a dragonborn are inexplicably rumbling with the local dryad demigoddesses in the town square and taking up everyone’s attention.  Taako and Merle corner Magnus and Taako says, you need to trust us, you’ll understand someday, but we swore we would do a thing for you and we did the thing and you can’t know what it is but it’s done and we did it just like you asked us to so THERE.  Because Taako still doesn’t really like the whole feelings bit.

All efforts to get Taako to train in the Icosagon are pretty much abject failures.  Magnus spends 90% of his free time there, and even Merle will swing a warhammer around once or twice a week if someone bothers him into it, but the closest Taako will come is sitting on Magnus’ back while he does pushups and Taako talks shit.  Look at him, Magnus.  Look.  Does Taako look like the kind of elf who runs around doing fucking jumping jacks and suicide runs.  No.  No he does not.  Remember it, Magnus, or he’ll burn a spell slot on your ass.  Do twenty more pushups, Magnus, for your FUCKING SINS.

One time Magnus thought it would be a nice sentiment to get Merle a houseplant, because their dorms could use a little life.  He buys some nice amaryllis (according to the elf who sold him the thing) and ties a bow around it and gives it to Merle.  It lasts three days before Taako reaches his threshold for Merle’s plant Thing and incinerates it–to put both the plant and the rest of the Reclaimers out of their collective misery.

After the whole debacle with the three of them showing up for a mission briefing in their pajamas with 90% of Merle’s ass hanging out and Magnus electing to actually change clothes mid-briefing, they start a private bet to see who can ruffle the Director.  They know that she can be unprofessional (”hot diggity shit, Taako, she said hot diggity shit” Magnus hisses under his breath), but the first person to make her actually yell at them for their shenanigans wins everyone’s Fantasy Gochapon tokens at the end of the next mission.

Naturally this is unsuccessful, because, over the course of a  century, Lucretia completely lost the ability to be more than mildly surprised by anything the three of them can pull.  She’s perfected the art of being unimpressed with them.  Merle one time sprinted into the cafeteria buck-ass nude on a dare and Lucretia stared at him with the expression of someone who puts up with the insufferable, year after thankless fucking year, and dares him to top that shit.

The three of them act like they have literally never heard the words ‘personal space’ or ‘privacy’ in their entire goddamn lives.  Even Taako, who’s prickly with everyone he meets, is physically all over Magnus and Merle at all times without regard for any sort of personal bubble.  Taako can’t see over the crowd?  Magnus has got that shit, pop that elf on his fucking shoulders like it’s the most normal thing in the world.  Magnus not sure what to do re: looking presentable?  That’s fine, Merle and Taako know every detail of every item of clothing he owns and their Unique fashion senses basically cancel out until Magnus looks normal.  Merle not moving fast enough?  Taako doesn’t have time for ‘permission,’ cast Featherfall and let Magnus sprint down the street with Merle under one arm and Taako under the other like a Fantasy Quarterback.  Merle naps on Magnus’ floor.  Taako wanders around in Magnus’ clothing.  Merle braids Taako’s hair.  Fucking status quo, my dude, this is How It Is.  None of them even notice, at first, it’s just…normal.  It’s like they’ve been living right on top of each other for a hundred years.  (Ha.)

All three of them have nightmares.  Magnus’ are always about Ravensroost, pulling the bodies out of the wreckage, looking, searching for something he doesn’t want to find, until his hands are bloody to the elbows and he’s crying and–the blood was dry, by the time he got there, but it’s always fresh and red and awful in his dreams.  Taako’s are usually about Glamour Springs, his body as useless as a mannequin, his mouth unmoving while he screams no, no, please, no, it’s poison, but sometimes it’s just loneliness and someone who isn’t there and he doesn’t understand why those are the ones that make him sob when he wakes up.  Merle’s are fewer and farther between, and he never remembers anything about them, he just remembers darkness and sunset and the knowledge that he’s going to die, and die, and die, and it will never do anything to help anyone.  There are a lot of three-in-the-morning insomnia nights in the kitchen, is the point here.  Sometimes if Taako can bring himself to do it, he makes hot chocolate and mutters something halfhearted about none of that powdered shit, milk in a pan or death, because Taako will stuff his face with junk food until he’s dead but he will never half-ass hot chocolate.  It’s more reassuring than almost anything else, listening to Taako mutter and bang around in the kitchen while Merle and Magnus sit there silently and recover.  On the other side of the base, they don’t know it, but Lucretia is doing the same thing, with chamomile tea from a recipe that Lup taught her.

All three of them would literally rather die than admit it, but there’s real-facts combat about what happens to Angus after everything.  Obviously he can’t go home, kid’s grandfather kicked it and his parents sent him off to live with his grandfather, so the battle royale comes down to this: who gets to keep the boychik.  After the dust settles, it turns out that actually Angus has a scholarship to go study some fucking Fantasy Forensics shit and the agreement comes down that he’ll stay with Magnus on breaks, because Magnus is closest, and that Taako has visiting/teaching rights whenever Taako wants because Taako says so, and Merle has permission to come up with bullshit excuses to be around at the same time as the kid sometimes.  Obviously Taako is a package deal with Kravitz, who Angus likes perfectly fine now that he knows Kravitz isn’t in the market for any Reclaimer souls, and also with Lup, who comes fully equipped with a Barry, and Lucretia comes to sit with Magnus and drink and pet his dogs sometimes, and Davenport comes to see her from time to time, so basically the battle royale was pointless and Angus upgrades from being mostly alone in the world to having eight parents plus his lesbian aunties who like to teach him to shoot stuff.

After Refuge, Magnus and Taako and Merle all get fucking blasted together.  It’s not celebratory.  It’s sitting on the floor with bottles of hard liquor because they’re too tired to sleep and they feel like death and it’s only two in the afternoon, they’ve literally only been back for an hour and a half.  Taako tells the story of what the Chalice showed him almost offhandedly, like it’s a good joke, hey, Taako’s riding high, totally innocent, my dudes, but then he takes a slug of Fantasy Tequila like it’s his fucking job and sits there staring at the bottle for a good few minutes before he says anything else.  Magnus is halfway through his bottle of Fantasy Gin before he slowly, so slowly, like every word costs him, tells them about what happened to Ravensroost, and about Julia, and the two of them sit and listen silently in what might be the only moment of tact that the world will ever see from them.  Merle’s mostly drinking in solidarity, here, and so he’s the one who muscles Taako into the nearest bedroom (Merle’s, in fact) when the elf kind of droops, and who manages, with no small amount of effort, to drag Magnus onto the couch–Magnus is easily twice Merle’s height and built like a fucking brick house, this is a minor miracle.  He makes sure they’re lying on their sides and leaves water by their heads and clatters around loudly in the morning to cover up the fact that he’s cast Cure Minor Wounds in an attempt to lessen their hangovers.