#YAY TAPI WELCOME TO THE CAST

[doodledstars]

Three more days before the big reveal...! Introducing the newest addition, Tapi! :)

[savemefrommyselfxv]

Once a day doses, instead of hours on end of endless convs. // kasi update sama lu sikit hahahah kk.

Came back so late!!! Hahah may As-Salam be with you, mirroredz buddy companion kindergartener, and may God's comfort hug you more snug than a grey hoodie varsity jacket would aha and hm may light penetrate into the heart, then glow and shine. ^ even typing this reminded me of two things. 1) when the grave will squeeze, it may come in to shatter our bones and squeeze entirely with no mercy in the scary way, or it could likely squeeze like a welcome back to your truest abode - home kinda hug. That's what I once learnt at the kursus jenazah camp a few months backkk. Made from clay like soil tanah liat, and exactly to that we will return to. Humbling, "come full circle" (coincodentally, came across the verses on habil and qabil - the two sons of Adam ytd!!! And how he learnt to kebumikan the brother from the bird's example. So yeah kinda related to grave) 2) zulumaati ilanoor. // I come across thissss during mathurat but also(!!) terawih made mention this phrase quite a bit so hm yeah hahah repeating themes hm hm // bring forth from darkness into light. - Anyway, aha I still make mention your name across the varied do'as I do. :") - Ok but yeah aha anyway, reason I came back at like 1+ todayyyyy was cuz we were preparing for ryc and all and there's this one part called muhasabah diri that they were practicing for (skit like) and theres this part that had like zikir aspect while the lights were off and the sad instrumental and the main cast was to make do'a :"""( rlly. Heart. Felt. :"(. It seems like I have the most "crying waterworks" camp sesh at islah man :"""). Aha rmmbr my story about the qiyam with the rabak cry sesh only to be ajak out to lepak post midnight ahahah yeah that was at islah jugak. But yeah aha awman I wished u were somehow part of ryc so u could see and have and be part of this moment that will rlly like menusuk ke kalbu muhasabah diri sesh. But aiy. Recent reminders jugak: you are exactly where Allah chooses for you to be. And "qad kafaani ilmu rabbi, min suaali wakthiari" OK BUT YES AHAH. If week one of ramadhan was, some days, already kinda tiring, like I woke up soree and rlly tired this morning actlly and yeah all that and last night after ghufran terawih I was also actlly thinking "what if lepas terawih just gym cuz conveniently near" but yozkiz hahahah I realise then that wow that wouldn't be a good choice cuz body recovery from workout and mad tired probs but yeah it seems a recent theme is also strength. The words you wrote about strength about knowing God amidst our weakness etc, that one def spoke to me macam wake up call. Sebab like hm usually every mess up or weakness or fall, I'd be so zoned in on me and my weakness etc. But instead, with what u wrote, if anything, even our downfalls points back to God, knowing learning God. I once wrote about learning from opposites and yeah. Didn't see it this way, how our mess ups only highlights even more attributes of God. :"") But yeah ok if week 1 was tiring, hahahah I've yet to hustle through week 2 and 3 of ramadhan which is basically high busy weeeks, mirrorredz :"") I've got like ryc then myf bake sale then alterisk night camp with Muhammadiyah kids which includes the night cycling thing, then the special iftar inshaAllah then the project ihsan overnight service camp/qiyam then hustle for aceh and yeah ahahah. This week, as compared to the upcoming weeks, have been more lax yet I haven't gotten a chance to write out or think through or develop wtv one liner wisdom pearls I've been getting. 1) the model love 2) setting progressive goals and translating it from intent, thoughts and into reality 3) the selfless - what's in it for me 4) weaknesses, strengths. Mess ups and humble pies. - road to br(ok)en 5) humble pie of learning from people we'd least expect 6) purified lil kids and the parenting I seeee at terawih And ya hahaha u see so much actlly to process tapi kian tak cukup waktu :""( Walhal when you asked me to write a poem HAHAHA I WAS LIKE jack so kind of u la hahahaha making it interactive, I thought twas gonz be like your typical factual thoughts theories and learnings, type of post but EHHH HAHAHA terselit "mirror" inside jugak hahaha but yeah. I think how I write poems, like the skeleton, is kinda to pick out words that ring forth. So yeah as seen in exhibit yellow notepad HAHAHA as u can see written at 1:02 otw home ah from tadi while dropping by giant to buy dark choxxx but yeah: Burn with Love Engulf Ashes Crashes Hushes. ^ then usually Id continue with finding rhyming words then let more ideas thoughts flow but eeks hahahah kk tkde time. But #1, notice I'd capitalize Love. Cuz the moment we use Love, it kinda refers to godly kinda instead of lowly earthly love between creations. But yeah probs the ideas I'd play around would be about ego death and burning such into ashes, which may at first leave you in states that feels like the self crashes, ruins but in all it silences the soul, hushes. And thats where true empty cup and humility and ready to listen to The Word to reach you. And I like the idea of Burn WITH Love, that Love is there by you, as you burn with intensity, there by you through the journey from darkness into light, through by you, be with you. And it encapsulates going thru the process together. With Love. Al waliy. Its so interesting, just a play of, huruf jjar hahahah um prepositions and it might change up the meanings in varied ways. Burn FOR Love, Burn out of Love, Burn to Love, Burn into Love(hahahah idk is that possible) (I can only think of ways humans may reflect a tiny fraction of attributes of God by His mercy and will) but yeah and then the flow would also change immensely once you change the subject of Love to love. Burn for love, burn from love. Are burns always painful? Could the process be beautiful? What is the end product? What about sublimation - changes of state from one to another. What about the burn sensation, is that alll that you'd focus on, because of how fiercely the experience of a burn is? Is it self inflicted, accidental, a necessity to get to another state? Accidental from rubbing against what? Kerosene or another rough rock? Glow like that bbq thing (omg what is it called HAHA) (amber) or burn boldly like campfires. Did it start from small sparks and firestarters or set aflame from explosion. HAHAHAHA man, I'd love to exploreee writes once more hahaha but ok ah such thinking lead questions are pretty much a joy to wander/venture for a bit. But yeah man. Caught up with much on my plate :") and we have team members falling ill and belum properly confirm swee prep so rlly macam eeeks hahahah. "rabbi yussahil rabbi tamim bi khair" Sharing so much life updates ahahah though it's kinda irrelevant to u, if you weren't a friend. My friend. Hahaha chey possessive kk tak hahah kk astaghfirullah. But yeah addu'a biddu'a hope youre maximizing all the "mustajab doa moments" wether before buka or wee mornings aka last 1/3 of night, be it tahajjud or tak, or rainnn (masyaAllah, ytd's rain was beautifz hahshah i walked in the rain back home!!! I love it seh hahah) and yeah. Also reminder to self to upkeep al mulk, since I kinda began this post with reminder about graves :"") And yeah. Fridayyyyy alhamdulillah :) Hahahah. I wonderrrrrrr where you'd be performing your piece and I kinda rmmbred how I wanted to someday be in the crowds of yours but ahaha idk if our friendship is at that yet ahahaha but yay all the best I think you'd probs have fun ahah anddddd yeah man hahahah i went to re-watch your yoda performance where u spilled a little of your life story about tents and tensions and you gazing at sunrises while most of the population is asleeeep snoring. Voices man. Voices aren't the same as writes. Just as how it'll never equate to experiencing a person irl. Okkk and quick one worded word plays I sometimes do: Void. Voices. Vices. Vis a vis. Liver. Live. Love. Lover. Love Her. Flicker, falter. Fall. Fail. Fate. Fade. ^ HAHAHA guess these are how I sometimes start. Catharsis. Aight. :) Keep writing man hahahah even if they arent mirror letters. I rlly enjoy reading writes, no matter. Bound to have gems. Bi idznillah. And alhamdulillah. :") - Fa