#YOU THOUGHT YOU CAN ESCAPE ME???
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Countdown!
Part 3 of HCSPAU DROPS TOMORROW!!!! (may 18th)
ooo i wonder what these two are yapping about~
(no one was hurt in the making of the following meme)
While you wait, check out The Masterpost for HCSPAU!
- 🍂🐾
#hcspau#hcspau art#hcspau countdown#ari.... ari is back#for TAGS AGAIN#YOU THOUGHT YOU CAN ESCAPE ME???#NAH#anyways#xisuma#and#cub#cubfan#that cub#they're arguing or something#i swear this is plot relevant to the comic#also did you notice how I have no art for this part's countdown?#thats because I am working on part 4#insert shocking gasps from audience#you heard that correctly#PART 4 SOON??#no#grian#tiny in banner but he exists#and hes obsessed with shrooms#NOT THOSE KINDA SHROOMS LIKE#LIKE ACTUAL MUSHROOMS THAT GROW ON THE FLOOR#FLOOR???#if your floor has mushrooms sprouting out of it#you should probably call some professionals to deal with it for you#bdubs
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I find the fact that the confrontation at the end of UTRH is often summarized as Jason asking Bruce to kill the Joker for him fascinating.
Because that's not what happened.
Jason holds a gun up to Joker's head, gives Bruce another, and tells him that if Bruce doesn't do something (shoot Jason), he will kill Joker.
Jason doesn't give the gun to Bruce so that he would shoot Joker. He isn't expecting Bruce to pull the trigger on the clown. He's asking Bruce to do nothing. To be inactive. Because that will still be a choice, and despite having done nothing, everybody clearly agrees that Bruce would still, at least in part, be responsible for Joker's death.
...And to me, this moment is a kind of- microcosm, of the rest of Jason's point. Because after being captured and carted off to Arkham, the villain will escape again, and will kill more people. The only way to truly prevent that from happening would be to kill them; Bruce refuses to do so, and I respect his right to choose such a thing for himself, but it is still a choice, and if we agree that Bruce's inaction during the confrontation would leave him at least partly responsible for the Joker's death, then we must also agree that his inaction in permanently preventing the Rogues from killing more people means he is also, partly, responsible for all of those deaths.
#my dc posting#batman#dc#bruce wayne#jason todd#joker#uhh is this like analysis or meta#anyway. to me this is the message that scene sends#if we say bruce doing nothing would mean he assisted in the murder of joker then bruce doing nothing about the villains means he is also#responsible for those deaths#ANYWAY yes b4 you come at me;;#bruce's belief in rehabilitation and that everyone can get better is central to his character#and i love it and no i dont actually think he should kill the rogues or whatever#but the question there is. Are you fine with the future victims your decisions will cause?#Are their lives worth the slim chance any of these people will get better?#batman says yes theyre worth it. red hood says no theyre not.#thats the fundamental moral difference there#its why jason challenges the batman status quo#which is why he cant be harnessed well after his initial return bc comics can never truly escape that status quo#anyway i sure am having some thoughts for someone not that smart so if you disagree please tell me!!! just be civil or ill just block you <#...anyway this is another thing BTAS succeeds in bc i always feel like yes these villains do deserve yet another chance#despite what theyve done. bruce's belief in them doesnt feel stupid and naive#its abt what you yourself can live with. bruce can live w the deaths of the ppl the criminals he doesnt get rid of kill#and jason can live with killing those criminals and preventing further victims
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Darkness monsters vs. real world monsters
There's a fundamental difference between Daydream Inc. and the Supernatural Disaster Managemant Bureau that's been niggling at my brain for a while now, and I think it finally clicked for me.
Obviously there's the overt differences: Daydream is a for-profit company where employees are all working for a selfish goal-oriented purpose, while the Bureau is a government sponsored agency whose agents risk life and limb on a daily basis trying to save other people.
It's almost too easy to understand why the Bureau would think of Daydream as a 'cult-like company', one capitalizing on suffering and death of innocent people caught up in ghost stories. And the reverse is also true-- Daydream seeing the Bureau as the ultimate annoyances, trying to destroy the ghost stories that create not only profit but advance strides in-- everything! Daydream has potions that can regenerate half a body! With the dream essence they harvest from ghost stories, they can full on cultivate reality-bending wishes.
Of course, with that kind of power, there are heavy dangers and consequences... I could write a whole TED Talk on that. That part's easy to see.
But with characters of the latest arc meeting (no spoilers), I was thinking about what negates this black and white pattern we've seen between the two sides. Common enemies and all that...
Bureau agents think that the ghost stories are 'Disasters'. They're the worst thing that can happen to a person, and it's the job of an agents to RESCUE people from those disasters, from the monsters and the horrors, to allow civilians to go back to a normal life.
Daydream employees think of ghost stories as 'Darkness', and they're here to explore those Darknesses to harvest from experiences with monsters and curses and the like. Sure, a lot of them die in the process. They're certainly not here to help other people because they understand that it's dangerous enough trying to save themselves. Yet... Daydream field officers persist. In fact, they're practically unafraid of the Darkness.
Because to each and every one of them, the real horrors are out in the real world. The Bureau thinks that monsters exist only in the ghost stories, but everyone who signed up to work at Daydream risking life and limb daily is working toward a purpose-- a wish potion. Something that can change their lives.
People only need to change their lives when there's something terrible they're struggling with, and like Kim Soleum, they are willing to face the Darkness for a chance to change something in their real world.
...In the heart of it all, there really is a commonality there. The Bureau agents want to rescue people from monsters within Disasters, but Daydream employees have monsters that live outside of Darknesses that they're trying to escape.
#괴담출근#got dropped into a ghost story still gotta work#GSGW#it really is the different takeaway from both sides#and from the readers!!#why do we read these stories?#is it to find an escapism from our own lives by reading the fantastical?#or is it coming back from these horror stories and realising that our lives are not that bad#Daydream employees will brave the monsters bc something in their rl went very wrong#whether it's a hospitalized sibling or wanting revenge#whether it's thinking you wasted your youth on something and wanting it back#or plenty of other reasons#the thought of what they've lost is scarier than any Darkness monster they can encounter#in this way Soleum belongs to Daydream more#but his wish involves having a normal world#which is why he fits in so well at the Bureau#...still incoherent but apparently my brain will do ANYTHING but fanfic right now#but i WILL DO IT#i will finish AND POST a gsgw fic before there's over 100 fics on ao3#WEEPS BRAIN LET ME WRITE
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eek! scary!
#undertale yellow#uty#dalv#uty dalv#dalv uty#dalv undertale yellow#undertale yellow dalv#potatart#AND THE CROWD GOES WILD!!!!!!#hm.... [impulsive thought alarm is going off]#i think if i started one of those drawing [character] daily art accounts it would be funny#but. i am alsp incredibly bad at keeping up with it#i shouldnt. but i want to. but it will probably overwhelm me. what to do#i tbink i will just draw dalv at a normal pace o_o#ME WHEN I SEE FICTIONAL CHARACTER I CAN PROJECT ONTO#no body can escape my transgenderification beam.#i hc him using he/they methinks though this may change#i must thoroughly analyze him before i am sure about his pronouns......#(joke)#can you tell who my favorite uty character is.
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this interaction drives me absolutely bonkers. thinking about utdp/danganronpa s maki gets me so fucked uppppppp
#maki interacting with idealists makes me wanna off myself she is just so. she cannot see a good future for herself#especially because like in this world it's all true#in v3 things fucking sucked but a small bright side is that technically maki doesn't need to fear the cult anymore#but in utdp she's going to have to go back. and no amount of motivational speeches can change that#god given makis belief that her escaping the cult and stopping her assassin work is ''impossible''#is it any wonder she got so attached to the guy who's fuckin catchphrase is that the impossible is possible#this is such an interesting interaction because while maki is technically right she's also kind of wrong#like girl it is possible for you to take down your abusers and live a happy life. it doesn't have to be your future#she wouldn't be wrong if she thought kiyotaka was naive for this#but she's also being sort of naive by thinking her whole life is just destined to be suffering#goddddd maki.....#kiyotaka ishimaru#maki harukawa
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What if we were both magic prodigies and it otherized us in different ways and we devoted ourselves to protecting a family member who has general other goals & priorities. What if we both did self-sacrifical devotion in opposite ways.
What if we were dark mirrors of each other and where I've grown overcontrolling you've grown complacent. What if, bought as a servant into a pretty loving home, ownership and control is what love looks like to me, and to you neglected and lonely growing up, love is gratefully taking any scraps of it you’re lent.
By belonging to someone, even if she comes back injured or fails at finding Delgal, she feels like she belongs and is cherished, by owning someone he feels safe in them not leaving him.

She’s what’s tethering him do you see… And he’s the only thing giving her direction and purpose in her state. She needs a compass and he needs a support.

They’re both so out of it 😭 It’s the weirdly intense and unearned mutual trust and reliance on each other?? They’re each other’s weird little comfort codependent teddy bear. Or at least they were headed towards that before SHE DIED THEN HE DIED THEN THEY BOTH FORGOT ABOUT EACH OTHER AND NEVER MET EVER AGAIN. Though she’s also the guard attack hound keeping him safe… And vice versa he heals her and can rewrite her very being with just one wave of his hand. They’re both so so mentally and physically vulnerable both but they cling onto each other. They can’t perceive things accurately but despite it all someway somehow they stumble into something closer to resembling companionship just before they both die. Falin is just that kind and Thistle is just that lonely. Overworked.
We both haven’t lived for ourselves in a very long time, haven’t we.


They both have a similar devotion to the people they love but again the difference is that Thistle starts overtsepping while Falin is self-effacing. The other difference between them is that people care about Falin <3 People have given up on Thistle long ago, and he has given people reasons to, while people refuse to give up on Falin. Yaad has a mini arc about it dw about it it’s ok he’s not all alone in the end 😭😭 He reached out for Marcille’s hand but they already all wanted to help him, they just had to be given the chance to, Yaad just had to be given the chance to, it’s okay I’m okay
Hey what if we learned to get in touch with our own identity and the world around us and living in the present again through being in the worst codependent situationship ever.
Falin and Thistle sitting in a tree, sucking on flowers together because they’re h-u-n-g-r-y 💕💕💕


I bet he’s only ever thought of flowers as useless ornaments. Weak weeds. But she shows him they’re tasty and useful and good and pretty in their own right too and deserve existing without proving their worth and waaa <33 Thistles…... Did you know thistles taste sweet if you remove the thorns and eat them?
"Even as a chimera, her kind nature remains" you can’t suppress her in the way that matters. You can’t soothe him in the way that matters. It’s doomed. You’re doomed. It’s all doomed. Save me.
#Spoilers#dungeon meshi manga spoilers#Thistle#falin touden#thistlin#OOOOH UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP THAT SOMEHOW WORKS OUT SAVE ME#I need them to be traumabonded kittens to not separate post-canon#I’m seeing a raise in post-canon thistle content/interest which makes me v happy#Fumi rambles#Falin learning to disobey orders with Thistle is one of my fave things. EAT THAT CURRY GIRL!!!! Nvm that it’s gonna get you killed#It’s good for the character arc#Falin and thistle sitting on a web o-b-s-e-s-s-i-n-g <3#This is somewhat of a tldr of my huge thistlin post. Plus some thoughts i had in discord or twitter#Keeping it for another day but tbh if you see their dynamic in canon as her thinking/having picked him as her mate it changes nothing#about her behavior which I find funny. Thistle accidentally claimed himself a parrot mate bc he’s bad with monsters confirmed#Ik my thing of them learning to relax and live in the present moment again is pretty fanon BUT IT’S WHAT KUI POINTED TOWARDS#With her calming him down from a panic attack and eating berries. With the baths for dandruffs. Etc. Thistle hasn’t socialized in a long#time and he wouldn’t if it wasn’t a tool he needed to interact with BUT it’s still socialization and it’s getting him in touch with his#surroundings again even if just a bit slowly but surely!! The Toudens have a superpower in reaching Thistle. Bless#How’s that one post go again. he refuses to develop he's part of the problem he maintains the cycle he's trapped in the cycle.#she's growing she's finding her place she escaped her original role she wants to help people she will never save him she will never save hi#Something something they have to abstract each other bc relationships with humans have always been too charged and unsafe#Only by seeing each other as more concept than person more object than peer can they truly be vulnerable#Like the fuckedupness lf their dynamic and state is WHY they’re so attached. Why their dynamic could be so raw and needy#The stars aligned in the worst way. Mission successfully faile#Tfw we both need to feel needed
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who here remembers my dhmis era ???? anyway i redid my recolor trio interpretation for shits and giggles 😊
#you can leave the dhmis phase but the dhmis phase never leaves you 😞🐺#remember when i was CRAZY about them 😭😭🙏🙏 ???? actually my insta followers mightve only gotten the worst of it yall dont even know#not really party rocking with my old interpretation of the recolor trio#theyre a little less normal now but its for the best#green is kinda weird and ominous. she often offers violence as a solution to some problems. she wants to find a way to escape the most#cardinal is NOT having it here. she thought the horrors were for one day only!! she mad as hell!! kinda wine mom energy if you squint#but shes mostly just a butch whos kind of bossy sometimes#blue is the more positive one there; always trying 2 help as much as she can#but shes actually quite timid at times; and not too great with conflict#dhmis#dhmis fanart#dont hug me im scared#dont hug me im scared fanart#dhmis au#dhmis recolor trio#dhmis cardinal#dhmis green guy#dhmis blue guy#dhmis web series
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modern ponyboy would absolutely love to read and make fun of colleen hoover books im so sorry, you just know that boy would want to study booktok under a microscope. he absolutely reads them aloud and makes fun of them with johnny and darry walks in once on it and just sighs
#kath you have fueled me ilyyyyy#qpr server once again i can never escape the thoughts that haunt me around yall#y’all see my inner insanity#the outsiders broadway#the outsiders musical#darry curtis#the outsiders#ponyboy curtis#sodapop curtis#the outsiders ponyboy#dallas winston#johnny cade#two bit mathews
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Daniel Ricciardo and Max Verstappen in Tokyo ahead of the 2016 Japanese GP | x
#max verstappen#daniel ricciardo#autumn posts#filing under things that are just new to me#escaping the dread for a moment with making some little gifs#thinking of everyone today#I've been numb with dread but I've been thinking of that Justin Mc Elroy quote like I'll keep doing good and no one can vote on that#I'll keep helping and supporting my friends and community and taking care of myself too#and one of those ways will be momentary escapes here in F1blr#I won't ramble too much but I'm just so heartbroken and dissapointed ... I had such hope#but we'll keep going and keep being strong ❤️ or I keep telling myself that!!#I gotta get back to the office#but sending everyone lots of energy and good thoughts and thank you for this space to get away and feel better for a little moment#have a restful day night and morning ahead 🏙️🌃🌆#be back soon!!#mentally will be at Daniel singing in the car and Max vibing along with him#maxiel hours in my heart only always
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played dragon age 2...just simple scribbles
#dragon age tag#i doubt that will see much use again..but who knows. vvv rambling below#weird game..the characters dialogue stuff and ending were good tho :')#i've played some of the first game but it kept crashing. i knew already despite knowing nothing that this guy was going to be my type#it doesnt feel right making video game art any more bc games like this end up feeling really personal - an experience that happened to me#if i design the main character a bit and fall in love then..that happened to me..i can't make Fan Art of that..only ive been through that..#like i cant make fanart of my dear companions in bg3 despite it having been a huge part of my heart in the last year#almost 1000 hours of playtime in something i can barely talk about bc it means too much.... lol#tons of ideas and conversations and extra thoughts and scenes and emotions about all the incredible times i've been through in bg3#and the maelstrom just rotates around intensely in my own heart forever...but that's ok too...that is so precious to me#but fortunately i already knew people that have played this game and talked/drew abt it recently so it was saved from that for me#sharing scribbly fanart on my Blog is a way to capture the feeling just after experiencing something so it has good points#witch hat atelier escapes that by not being a GAME. games are so immersive. but my wha art & feelings are incredibly immersive too#which makes it difficult sometimes now. i live a complicated and emotional life <3 i am not suited to fandom <3#my character ended up looking so much like oru without me realising that's what i was doing. Kind bearded fireball throwing gay mage. Hmm.#falling for a sad white hair memory trauma fellow that keeps you at a tragic distance. Hmmmmmm.#i see also how very much bg3 is inspired by stuff like dragon age now lol so i'm glad i experienced it. I WANT MY KIRKWALL LIFE BACK...#so dated though as well and unpleasant at times (the city and the dismal atmosphere was depressing.) i hate violence/horror..#bg3 is SOOOO very dismal but it feels like I am killing people and going through horrors because i have to survive i have to be free#Well anyway. ahh it's so refreshing to fall in love. my gay journey continues...
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Getting queerbaited in the big year of 2025, Bobby is STILL dead after weird behaviour from the cast that could imply he’s still alive (???) Athena is STILL miserable and selling the house despite saying she wont ONE EPISODE AGO and Angela Basset is probably leaving because Bobby is STILL DEAD, Chim relieving the same arc for the third fucking time, doing NOTHING with Hen, Maddie’s only story was getting brutalised because they dont know what to do with her, not a single one on one Buddie conversation despite it being one of the MAIN EMOTIONAL STORYBEATS OF THE SEASON, goofy ass baby name, the Texas plot line meaning nothing because it changed fuck all, all important storylines getting resolved off screen, Buck relieving the abandonment arc for the seventh fucking time, Ravi still getting NOTHING to do, OOC Buck and Hen and Eddie oh Tim Minear hell is HOT for you
#Not the worst season finale ive seen because I watched Supernatural and the umbrella academy#but this was one of the most meaningless ones ive seen#all because some guy wanted a ‘realistic’ death like fuck off mate your not him#I didnt like the season much anyway because the characters felt OOC to me personally but hell#literally nothing in this season matters#I can distinctly remember how each storyline in the past impacted the characters but it feels like NOTHING happened here#The disrespect towards Maddie is INSANE#they literally just brutalised her because they couldnt figure out what to do with her#she was literally pregnant again and you couldnt have her speak with the other characters with multiple children???#just give her SOME anxiety about bringing someone new into the house???#How it would affect Jee-yun?? Her career??#NOTHING??#DONT GET ME STARTED ON BUCK AND EDDIE#THE MOVING BACK IS RESOLVED OFF SCREEN?? THE THING THAT IMPACTED BUCK SO MUCH??#THAT WAS A MULTIPLE EPISODE STORYLINE THAT HE HAD TO COME TO ACCEPT??#THAT WAS ONE OF THE MAIN EMOTIONAL BEATS?? AND ITS OFF SCREEN??#MARAS ADOPTION IS OFF SCREEN?? THE KID GETTING BORN??#stupid as fuck name Bobby Nash Han??#COULDNT EVEN MAKE IT HIS MIDDLE NAME??#WHEN CHIMNEY’S FOSTER BROTHER IS RIGHT THERE??#getting Queerbaited in this day and age is insane#Like its textbook queerbaiting we never escaping the trenches 🙏😭#yes ive been dead Ive had finals but im almost free YIPPIE!#911 abc#911 spoilers#911 season 8#911 finale#Tim Minear#Buddie#I have more thoughts and will probably most them later im so pissy
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I was reading a footnote to Themistius' Brotherly Love Oration and ended up doing a quick painting of Seleucus II Callinicus while looking all these people up
⭐ places I’m at! bsky / pixiv / pillowfort /cohost / cara.app / tip jar!
#fun fact! caracalla (and by extension geta) is mentioned in the brotherly love oration itself :)#hey caracalla. do you like that. that you killed geta to get rid of him and now you cant escape the ghost of the brother you hate#OOF. well. anyway. i'm in the middle of making a blog specifically to spiral out about caracalla-geta-valentinian-valens#bc i feel myself 'feeling' spread out too much here and i dislike it. its like fraying at the edges. anyway:#fully intend to just. vomit out all my thoughts and art about it there for about four months and hopefully i'll return to a regular#state of being when i see gladiator 2 because its like. eugh. too much roman empire here. too many tags to keep track of#but also i cant shut up about caracalla right now and quite frankly. i need to lock myself into a room and just get it out of my system#drawing tag#CHRIST. what do i even tag this as. can i technically shove this into my 'it's all greek to me' tag. hm. maybe not. that's stretching it#Seleucus II Callinicus
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there are other tinies in my enclosure, and we all love each other and being together
i'm petting her hair, i'm sucking his boobs, they give me kisses, we all hug each other
and also there's a giant there who loves us and takes good care of us and finds it very cute how all of their little tinies love each other <3
#robin's tiny thoughts#i've been trying to find comfort in the idea of being kept by a giant but strangely it hasn't been working#like “someone is keeping me as a tiny/pet/toy/whatever and i don't have to worry about anything else anymore” can be good both as—#—a sex thing and as a comfort thing#but i've figured out why it wasn't doing anything for me rn. it's because all my problems are other people's problems#and i'm trying to help as much as possible and i'm stressed because everyone around me is doing bad#i don't want to stop having to deal with it. i want to be able to deal with it better and help more. i don't want to escape it#SO the idea of being owned/taken/etc by a giant doesn't change anything. it doesn't help with my current stress.#HOWEVER. the idea of multiple tinies being owned together??#suddenly THAT hits the spot#it's good in so many ways. i get to be tiny and with a giant. but also other people are alongside me. we're together. i can take careof the#but our world stops at the giant's place and whatever they allow for us. we don't have to worry about anything else.#AND ALSO it's still a sex thing. the giant has more tinies to do whatever they want so it's better for them. they can also watch—#their tinies interact. we can cuddle under the giant's dick or make out in their bra or whatever#ALSO ALSO it feels like i'm partaking in this fantasy with everyone here. like anyone on macro/micro tumblr can join in if they want <3#you can be a tiny with me or you can be a giant with all these tinies#we can all have fun together <3
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So another stupid au bc there's too much of Epic: Musical in my tiktok fp
So Greek mythology AU
Nathaniel as Hero
Bartimaeus as some lower god who accidentally picked him as favourite
I have so many thoughts
#nat loses hope in gods and pray in random church#Bartimaeus shocked that someone actually recommended him lol#pls hear me out on this#loser hero and his loser god who didn't help practically at all#Bartimaeus said that if you want help in fights then you need pray to mingty Faquarl#i can only help with perfect escape from it#nat be like nah i tried you my last hope#do something or I'm gonna do something bad with your last church#bartseq#bartimaeus trilogy#bartimaeus#nathaniel underwood#ALSO LET'S TALK ABOUT KITTY HUH#kitty jones#yea i know there's no canon master/servant idea#but it's funny imagine not who fight with god bc of some shit#i'm i'm going to respond to your reverse au thoughts soon trust me i remember
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(Based off of the reality of having a metal ring in your back as a constant reminder of your fate and how that affects you as a person set in the Switzerland arc)
“Does it hurt?”
Ava’s pressed face down into the pillow sleep curling around her limbs. She hums, she can’t remember what she says, she’s exhausted. Her arms are tangled beneath her pillow. She holds her fingers tightly between each other, her bones ache from the pressure but her hands no longer shake. Ava hasn’t experienced this before, a fear that haunts her at night. (She finds she cannot stop dreaming about dying. It’s stifling in the cover of night trying to figure out where she is.)
She slowly opens her eyes and squints in the darkness. Beatrice is facing her a furrow in her brow that Ava knows she’s doing unconsciously. Ava’s lip quirks a smidgen, Beatrice looks funny. It’s a bit silly to her, Beatrice no doubt working out a solution to an unknown problem that Ava has yet to see in the middle of the night. In her sleepy state she wants to laugh at the imaginary cogs churning in Beatrice’s head.
Beatrice scooches closer and Ava panics, her skin can taste the dust of Bea’s forearm. She hoists herself up on her elbows, turning to face Beatrice. “Wha?” Ava’s shaking off bits of sleep from her mouth when Beatrice repeats herself.
“Does the Halo hurt?”
She doesn’t know if she wants to answer that. Ava peers over Beatrice squinting at the harsh light of the digital clock on Beatrice’s side. Ava loves it, it reminds her of the early 2000’s and the aesthetic of waking up to an alarm to go somewhere. The clock blinks an innocent 1:43 Am, and Ava debates on letting her head thump back down.
She turns her body on her side, she can feel the halo shifting in her back and it makes her want to throw up. The sides of the halo press against her shoulder blades and Ava resists the urge to yank it out. She grits her teeth and settles ignoring the skin of her back pulling tight to accommodate for the ring. Beatrice is still expecting an answer and Ava can’t lie to her, she pulls the covers of the sheet up to her chest hoping to bide more time for an answer.
"Everything hurts Bea," Ava smiles, "getting my ass handed to me is hard work."
Beatrice frowns displeased but looks at her through her lashes, it's unguarded, the stress and worries of the world stay out of their room in the dead of night. Her lashes are so pretty and Ava wants to curse the soft glow of the moon. There’s just enough moonlight to illuminate her eyes but overshadow her freckles. Ava swallows down the taste of defeat, she can’t win, she thinks.
Her gaze is soft, Beatrice is looking at her and it’s different yet the same. The same feeling in her chest constricting her lungs, the same soft gaze of Beatrice. Beatrice who likes what she sees in Ava when Ava can barely see where she begins. She doesn’t like to dwell on it, the truth of the matter being what belongs to Ava.
If she closes her eyes she can pretend just a little longer. She can give herself the hope of the future and what comes after all this. She can put down the fighting and the artifact and live. Ava doesn't want to think about it anymore, at least not tonight when Beatrice is here with her.
Beatrice is soft. She knows it from hours and hours of training. She's felt it when Beatrice corrects her form, in the way she talks. She speaks from a place of care like she has turned the harsh words in her brain over and over to soften the syllables spoken to Ava. And Ava doesn't linger on it, the meaning behind it, (Ava didn't think she'd make it this far, finding a person who cares quite like Bea does.)
And Ava's got it bad, she knows she's fucked because Beatrice doesn’t say anything about her language and Ava can't not tell her the truth. She looks down, her hand fiddling with the bed sheet underneath them.
"It doesn't hurt," if she thinks about it she can feel the fibers of the cotton between the pads of her fingers. "But it's very uncomfortable." She doesn't want to find the response in Beatrice's eyes, content to hear it from her voice. The soft British lilting accent that holds her just as soft as a touch.
She waits, she can picture Bea’s mannerisms with her eyes closed but maybe she should check just to be sure. Ava peers up at Beatrice and she’s suddenly closer. Her eyes really are pretty, there’s a depth to them that Ava wants to spend an ungodly amount of time studying.
“Can I help?” (part 2)
#tko_writes#AND THEN THEY BANGGGG NASTY UGLY HARDDDDD#tenatively titled:#Do you think i'm kind?#in which i dump soup all over this google doc#soup being trauma#yeah this is ooc what about it#i need to go to bed right now#can u believe it i wrote something relatively normal#bleghhh#it wasn't as bad as I thought it would go#canon writing is boring to me personally but this wasn't too bad#it's just like blah blah imagine having a metal ring in ur back and how sleeping on ur side affects your body#just like body horror#and like the constant reminder of it because how do u escape something that's so uncomfortable sitting between ur shoulder blades but#helps you move and do all the things u dreamed of???#anyway got bonked with this idea talking with ard#everyone thank ard for this if u liked it#i was supposed to write more but i've gotta go to bed#Ava's thoughts are all over the place but i'm gonna say that's cuz she's sleepy#something somethign it's just all the trauma she's gone through because she's had the halo is present and she's constantly reminded of it#because it jostles inside of her and no one was really fit to house a halo#something something GET RID OF THE HALO BEARERS LET THOSE WOMEN LIVE THEIR LIVES#RAHHHHHHHHHHHHH
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more very niche car whump???
Tonight on my way to work I saw a license plate that said "N8SSUB" and very quickly parsed out that it meant "Nate's sub(missive)" Good for Nate!
Aaaaaand now I can't stop thinking about a whumper setting up a car for their whumpee outfitted with trackers, cameras, the works... and marking the license plate in that same way. Blatantly saying "Whumper's", making the letters their initials, putting an innocuous but demeaning name. "Pet" "Dog" "Rat" "Mine"
A reminder that, no matter how far they may go, they aren't free. The car is a cage, and gas money is a pair of manacles. No matter how badly they may want to flee, they'll never make it. Everything is bugged, everything is tracked, and they remember what happened last time they tried to mess with that.
#whump#kink mention#whump prompt#possessive whumper#controlling whumper#me when whumpers make grand gestures out of an abundance of confidence and they're right to be so confident ghghhgehhgrgjrh#i started absolutely CACKLING when i realized what that license plate meant#i thought i saw sub from further away and i was like ??? so i sped up to read it thinking it would be some funny sandwich thing#the way i absolutely LOST IT when i realized i'd been right with my instinctive assumption#nate's got you wrapped around their little finger as they should!!!#seriously what a cute gesture. and subtle enough i think only others in the know would get it#broke: collaring someone as a relationship gesture. woke: naming your license plate after them#they were getting off the highway and i wish so badly i could've complimented it#not that i can do that from the car haha#i would've just loved to shout 'tell nate i said you've been a very responsible driver!!!'#what a story to tell at the dinner table man#realizing this falls into the category of car whump lmao i cannot escape it's car whump month
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