#ah…

[goosygander]

[unknownpurplegirl]

The Green Crown has taken a liking to the spawns of Chaos, allowing itself to relax in their control.

When you skip out on chores to do cool tricks for your brother using your dad’s previously owned crown

Uh oh

[kulturegroupies]

[alterin]

[aspengrown]

me and my mother before i grew up

[fallencelsetial]

“As if he had lost his wife”

Yeah….haha……

[crabussy]

slightly furious reminder that fish do in fact feel pain and do in fact experience fear and distress when in pain since people seem to love spreading the myth that fish don't feel pain. what is it with people assuming a creature is incapable of feeling pain or emotion just because it doesn't have complex facial muscles. come on gang

[blorboresidue]

one time I used the ben affleck smoking reaction image in the family group chat and my mom replied with the funniest possible response which was: "mommy doesn't know who the guy is???" and that phrase has not left my brain since. I'll see blorbos on my dash that I don't recognize and I'll be like well it seems mommy doesn't know who the guy is.

[pocketdogs]

a customer returned a drink because a fly flew into it and said: “one of your flies flew into my drink” and my coworker was so confused that they just said: “…my fly?”

[lejoursobre]

Am I late to the party ?

[arkangelo-7]

Lex Luthor hates Superman, Lex Luthor hates the Justice League, bla bla bla… You know who Lex must really hate? Bruce Wayne.

Because he knows that bitch is Batman. He’d worked it through that big brain of his and he’s without a doubt certain that the same idiot who spilled champagne on him last New Year’s Eve moonlights as the Batman.

But he can’t fucking prove it. So he’s resigned to a lifetime of having to make stilted conversation filled with double meaning while Brucie just flutters his eyelashes and pretends to be a ditz. And Lex just has to sit there and take it, because Bruce knows that Lex knows and absolutely uses that knowledge to fuck with Alex at every opportunity—he says the absolute shittest, godawful pickup lines and flirts to his heart’s content, knowing full well that he helped Superman kick Lex’s ass last week and that Lex knows it was him.

[vibratome]

[imeaniexistiguess]

31°43'49.2"N 39°13'45.1"W

[blackmoldmp3]

REACHED THE ITCH. STAGE

[theyarebothgunshot]

[explaining tumblr friendships to outsiders] well, you see, when you know each other's porn preferences, it really creates a bond