#also I need to figure out my artstyle cause omg

[martyryo]

Happy late women's day 😼

[luffysus]

I need to talk about Cross Game - Part 1

Lately I've been feeling a bit nostalgic of the old anime/mangas I used to read, so I decided to re-read Touch by Adachi Mitsuru and that not being enough i needed to re-read Rough by the same author. And just like that I was like fuck it I just can't get enough of this author so I decided to give another one of his mangas a try and OMG I am floored. Btw I have some issued with the tropes Adachi overuses in his storytelling and his artstyle but that's for another post. Anyway, Cross Game is absolutely brilliant, this is Adachi at his best dealing with emotions, grief just like he knows. I actually haven't watched the anime adaptation so I'm just going to focus on the manga for now. I'll try to keep it short but I don't think that's even possible cause I have a LOT to say...

While looking for opinions on the series, I came across lots of reviews but mostly from anime watchers and I was often confused because a lot referred to Wakabe as Kou's girlfriend and I was just sat there like huh ??? Did i missread something in the manga that the anime captured lol ? I mean Kou did love Wakabe but the author from the very beginning of the manga went out of his way to show us their relationship was a bit one-sided. Wakabe loved Kou (mind you they were just like 10 year olds at this point in the story so i feel a bit weird calling it "love" lol) but Kou on the other hand was always more interested in her sister Aoba.

The instances are subtle a la Adachi but there are almost in every chapter. It's the way he sets up his panels, the dialogue or silences that sometimes can be so mundane but highlight obvious human emotions, like longing.

Starting from Chapter 1, Kou and Aoba are the first two characters we are introduced to and already in that introduction we have Kou staring at /taking interest in whatever it is Aoba is doing.

And mind you right before this, is a page of Kou staring at bathing suits, and when his father scolds him he basically replies he is a maturing boy so staring at things regarding the opposite sex is normal...almost like the author is outright showing us the what interests this hormonal pre-teen...

The first part of the story being focused on Wakabe and Kou's relationship actually highlights and cements the fact that Kou always liked Aoba differently. It's in the way he wasn't really intereted in keeping that tradition Wakabe wanted of them buying each other gifts every year.

It's the way he would almost always mention Aoba while with Wakabe (I started taking screenshots of the different instances but there were actually like so many I gave up lol I can't post all of them). I will however just touch upon imo the biggest giveaway depicted. It is when they are exchanging birthday gifts and Wakabe spots a newlywed couple. She's obviously emotional and she mentions how the couple will definetely be happy since they got married on a special day (her and Kou's birthday). When I tell you Adachi has a way of setting up his panels...because what comes next is kind of a brutal hint that only Wakabe was in "love". As she is mesmerised by the bride and imagines herself in that position...one day most likely with him... Kou is not listening and is basically thinking about Aoba and trying to emulate her pitching. You can't make this up...

Now this could absolutely be my head canon, but Wakabe being the very perceptive young girl she was, imo figured out Kou liked Aoba that's why she tells Aoba not to take him away from her when he grows up to be the kind of man she knows Aoba will like (aka a pretty damn good baseball player).

When Wakabe tragically dies at that young age, Aoba could never forget that request from her late sister. That's what makes Aoba's struggling to come to terms with her feelings for Kou as they grow up so poignant. Not only does she have to come deal with the grief of losing the sister she was closest to, she also has to fight her growing attraction for Kou so she literally forces herself to exgerrate feelings of hatred him because falling for him meant betraying the late sister she loved so much.

Kou too has some internal conflicts he has to deal with before accepting that he loves Aoba. While he was not romantically interested in Wakabe, he still loved her very much. She was the only constant in his life, always pushing him to become a better person. It's a love that's in a way so much deeper than romantic love. It's the kind of love you feel for a twin (and knowing Adachi this is exactly what he was going with, by setting their birthday the same day and place). Plus like I said because their relationship was bit one side he felt that much more guilt, that she was the one always loving him, always doting on him during their time together. On top of that his feelings for sisters just kept growing...

This is what makes Cross Game so damn heartfelt. The emotions the characters go through are so complex, so human it tugs at your heart. Seeing these two heartbroken people try to cope with the death of loved one while coming into adulthood and dealing with their survivor's guilt, growing emotions... Damn.

I titled this part 1 because I still have so much more to say lmao. I'll stop here for now. Well done to anyone who manages to read all this and if you did I hope this makes you want to watch/read Cross Game.

[doctorguilty]

ah spoilers

MOTHERFUCKER UNLIMITED 

fern stands in front of a god and shrugs

sfhdjkfgsf i cannot say I expected her to be Like That but a the same time I should have cause that’s like the Bog Style of things 

omg I feel like so behind in analyzing things ive been alotting to much of my brain to Teeth lately I feel like I need to reread this entire phase but like ig to be fair the updates were p spread out and like so much happened in my life and  its hitting a year since that all happened like, really soon hhhhhh but idk i feel like! guilty for not blogging thats kind of like what everyone would usually engage with me about!!

omg thats me getting sidetracked though ok so we have the concept of medicine/speaker for the concept of health?? is that like implying theyre two different things , im sort of assuming I think, like health would be above medicine i think in the same way like, all the doctor concepts would be like below that! I’m trying to wrap my head around the whole conceptual tree omg like, i was always interpreting phage as the concept of medicine well i guess more like! the concept of Healing like literally that, like, i dont know how to articulate it like the state of healing, maybe he’s more qualified down as specifically like A Healer like, what a doctor is, omg its so hard to find the language, cause like each doctor is a Thing like, phlebotomy, gynecology, etc but phage is just phage he’s also all those things 

but speaking of that like???????ok do they like know Marcy like, there’s so many questions to unpack, oh wait thats probs why, we’re doing an AMA dsfhsakgga but you know i gotta like,, Speculate like first of all what is the implication fern is meeting her after getting eaten/killed by the dolphin like omg where is she????? 

on a less jargony note her design doesn’t like personally strike me, like in a personal taste way like idk, dark figure with a hat and like stitches on the clothes im like, omg idk i sorta feel like, what’s the Relationship here like why that, i think shes supposed to invoke a plague doctor but still like Why That, she also strikes me as a worm , especially with the panel where she’s like looking upwards at that like, pillar and theres stuff wrapped around it that seems evocative of a rod of Asclepius which i talked a whileeeee ago about all the instances where that appears in the hospital and how it’s like, pulling a worm out of  the skin that whole so im like hm ok! so the concept of medicine is a worm but worms are also like, Not Good, at the moment 

is it too much of a Reading Into The Artstyle to be like, her color scheme and like, shape reminds me of the parliment dudes or is that a thing like ,,,,,,,,, thinking emoji can the virtual god of medicine be sick too or like, omg wait is the parliment deal like, copying her like in cult fashion like, cause the disease being like a corruption of the concept of health??? i cant fully feel out what a reach is rn cause like ive been so Out of it keeping up with my mental  walls of candid photos and red strings like in the awf hosp storage part of my brain sjdkgdfhd i feel like im trying to jump the gun here you’ll get more of my hot Opinions after the ama but like omg just trying to like!!! take it all in at face value is so much!