#also Stan just going to work and forgetting ford on him

[aweebshitdrawings]

@a-scary-lack-of-common-sense town kook ford and the mafia Stan

Was just gonna draw the smoothie meme then I just kept going lol

[rystiel]

that annoying moment when getting left for dead in the trunk of a car in your 20s comes back to haunt you 40 years later (take a shot every time ford says “stanley”)

[pix-writes]

Stanford Pines relationship HCs

(ford pines x reader) there will be smut so, 18+ below... Some angst, mainly fluff, I HC that most if not all of the pines family are neurodivergent in some way.

A/N: I had a long journey last week and all I could think about was the stans, so this will become specific... 😅 Will do the same for Stanley too in the future.

Ford has a lot to catch up on when he comes back through the portal, but he won't jump into a relationship immediately, it will still take a little time, he's got a lot to adjust to in his home dimension and being with someone has not been his forte.

But once he does he's surprisingly clingy, will want to cuddle up to you, in bed, on the couch, wherever you both are. Not one for real PDA, but will be close to you and call you terms of endearment out in public, just a little less than he does at home. I HC that he'd call his partner "dear" "darling" "honey", looooves your hips and putting his arm around your waist (it's a great way to pull you in to snuggle).

Doesn't hold your hand at first but since you like him to hold your hand and give him assurance over the fact that you like his six fingers, he does. It loosens his insecurities around his hands a lot.

Gets addicted to kissing you, doesn't care whether it leads to more or not, Stanford simply loves kissing whether it's brief or a good long make out session. But he does prefer to take his time over it.

Stanford is very logical, good at patching himself up from decades of portal hopping and therefore will do the same for you if you need it, is meticulous if you get hurt in any way but also has an appalling bedside manner! Doesn't tell you if he's going to do something that will sting and tells you not to be overdramatic if you react negatively to it (you know how people can get a little angry when someone they love gets potentially seriously hurt?). And yet you know him to be a gentle man, generally touches you softly like you're made of glass (unless it's to pull you away from something dangerous), so having him take care of you can also be comforting, he'll never do something painful unless it's necessary. (Don't worry though, his brother will make you stan cakes to cheer you both up.)

Speaking of food, Ford definitely prefers his home universe food to what he had in the other dimensions, tried lots of different unusual dishes, some he even liked, but none of it can compare to his homely comforts. When not sailing and adventuring, he puts on a few pounds. Satiates his sweet tooth and caffeine addiction with mabel juice (is the only other one of the pines to like it), prefers it to coffee. Stanley swears his tastebuds must've been affected during his time away. Doesn't like it with as much edible glitter as mabel does, but this is the only deviation from the original recipe he has.

Excellent teacher, you want to learn how he does something? More than eager to teach you with a steady hand and clear pace. Will teach you regardless how to shoot his laser and magnetic guns, how to defend yourself and how to meditate (if you didn't know these already). Can get into the information and ramble like you know about a topic and then realise (eventually) that he needs to break down or explain what he means.

Despite this he also has a romantic streak, whilst he can forget everything aside from his work or adventures, including important dates, he can also be a very considerate and supportive partner and post-portal wants to include you as much as possible in his life and conversations. You can talk for hours about any and all topics and he loves to be mentally stimulated in a relationship, however that may be.

Does sometimes have nightmares and deep guilt over Stanley and is dealing with it as best as he can, likes to know he can count on you for comfort and guidance, makes him feel less panicked or paranoid after Bill. He and his brother talk things out too and these talks can go on all night into the early morning and it's best for them to have space, Ford is grateful for your patience and willingness to be involved in his life, especially as he knows he wasn't good at opening up to you when you were starting to become friends let alone a relationship.

Ford would be shy at first, but once he gets comfortable with how to pleasure you, expect this man to be kind of obsessed. That absorbing focus he can have on his projects and studies? Yeah that can be transferred to you just as easily, which can be a little intense!

You off-handendly mention something about sexual experiences, perhaps even a joke about things you haven't tried, catching his perplexed look afterwards, you say it's simply fantasy and not really something you need to experience. However what you took for confusion or slight insecurity was actually Ford processing what you said. In fact, it doesn't leave his mind and so he does something he's good at: he does some research 😏

One night you might even wake up from sleep to find him sitting upright, lightly snoring, bedside lamp on, clearly fallen asleep whilst writing on his portable writing desk (it's either a gift from you or the twins, not sure which to choose!), when curiosity gets the better of you and you sneak a page out into your hands, you're faced with his attempts at organising fantasies, what he thinks you would want to try, how would you react to different stimuli or some of his own fantasies... Mainly figuring out how many orgasms he could coax out of you or how long he thinks he could edge you over time, what positions or rp you might like: he's worked it all out in a haphazard kind of way, like he's brainstorming the best approaches.

It's so plan-sexual scientific it's frank but... attractive, because it's so... him.

Whether he wakes up on his own or you wake him up, he ends up blushing, though he's not really sorry that you've found it. He's looking at you with this mix of nerves for how you'll react and new found smugness when he sees that you've been affected by what you've read... And yeah, neither of you are leaving that bed for a long time.

Basically, like a true scientist, he is down to experiment! 😄 He's willing to try anything as long as it's not going to seriously hurt you or it's something he wouldn't try on himself first, this is a boundary he's never willing to cross. Trust and open communication is an important thing for him post-weirdmaggeddon especially, and he's getting better at it as he goes along, so even though he often doesn't feel confident, he is infuriatingly good at aftercare and all the rest!

This means when he's not tripping over his words or flustered by you himself -he can be a damn tease at times and will chuckle to himself when you curse him out for the subtle touches he'll give you over the course of the day before pulling away. Sometimes he doesn't even know he's done it, which is evil.

Stanley will make grumbly jokes about how "you two lovebirds need to get a room!" Or about needing to move out 😅 but honestly he's truly happy his brother is happy and if you get married he will sob the whole time, even through his roasting joke filled best man speech! (Cracks a joke more than once to you that you need to make Ford an "honest man" and then laughs at it himself before whispering to you that he can get the rings if you really want to.)

Will and does suffer in the warmer months because he will wear long sleeves, full length pants and or a turtle neck for the comfort aesthetic

Personality wise him and Stan are different as can be but they often sync up physically in their mannerisms or what they say, as freaky as it is cute in a way, when you are tired/drunk you can swear you're seeing double, which amuses both of them.

His favourite shared past time with you is any kind of board or card game, some of them the rest of the family will join in for, but will also love someone to play d&d&md with if you're willing! Loves to get into the details of the rules of whatever you're playing together and it can get quite heated (secretly finds your frustrated side quite attractive, as long as you're not actually angry at him).

I feel like Stanford would get into videogames as soon as he becomes more adept at technology in this dimension, likely it's dipper who is the one to introduce it to him and he loves it (nerd). Will marathon catch ups on all the movies and shows he's missed; especially the series he was into that got continued after the portal incident. You lose him to Star Wars prequels etc for at least a couple weeks of him getting his head round all the lore and how it works, may have controversial opinions and needs to work it all out, may need to contact dipper about this.

Regularly has calls with the family (mainly the twins) over video chat (and will always call it 'video calling' no matter what platform they're using), so once you're together that includes you too and be prepared to be bombarded with questions from them (your their new graunty or grunkle after all) ❤️

[darlingdaisyfarm]

꒰ Stan & Ford bj headcanons ꒱

a/n: was debating whether i should post smth angsty but honestly? nahh, i decided to let go of the cringe and simply embrace the classic: dicks dicks dicks. no regrets!

also yeah, not me using gifs of their most tragic, lowest point moment of life while writing about sucking their dicks

warning: nsfw!! | second part

〃 STANFORD

𖹭 okay listen. he has absolutely imagined you blowing him while he’s lecturing. imagined himself giving a serious talk about some multidimensional travel or whatever. and you’re under the table, pretty little mouth sucking him so slow it’s torture, and he’s trying to keep his voice steady. Ford is picturing the way his voice trembles when your tongue swirls. he's insane about it. he thinks about it at night and has to shamefully jerk off in the bathroom at 3am :(

𖹭 his ideal fantasy is when he’s bent over a cluttered lab table, pants barely pushed down, one hand scribbling formulas and the other gripping your hair while you suck him off. “don’t stop. i���m so close to finishing this equation— hhah—don’t you dare stop—“ soo he’s finishing a theorem and finishing in your mouth at the same time. Ford Pines core

𖹭 he can’t take eye contact. HE CANTTTT!! like if you look up at him while you’re doing it? he has to cover his face with his hand, my shy boy!! he makes this broken little noise like “oh—gods above—“ and shakes his head

𖹭 Ford grips your wrist when he’s close and if pose allows it. not your hair, but your wrist more than all. smth about the control of it. the intimacy. the little squeeze he gives as if to say please stay with me

𖹭 he’s OBSESSED with being milked. sorry. no other word. he wants slow, sloppy, deep suction while you use your hands and tongue and all your filthy skills to drain him dry. he’ll bite his knuckles to stop from moaning too loud and then make such a mess in your mouth. so much of it. like he’s been saving it for you

𖹭 well, since i love writing him as a freak and pervert, then ill also have to share this weird headcanon of mine. . . he likes to cum on his papers. i’m serious. like if he’s working and you surprise him with a blowjob? he’ll try to pull out at the last second and accidentally spurt all over his notes. then moan your name like you ruined him on purpose

𖹭 “you’re perfect like this. you’re doing so well. my perfect darling. . .”

𖹭 guys if we talk about where he likes to cum. . . listen. this man wants to fill your mouth, watch you swallow, then kiss you slow. he’s obsessed with the intimacy of it

𖹭 but also?? when he’s in his freak era? he’ll pull out and paint your tongue, your lips, your chin, your chest. and just stare like he’s watching a masterpiece dry

𖹭 he has to sit down afterward, always. he needs a cup of tea and ten minutes to write about it in his “private” journal

𖹭 flinches when you lick the frenulum. he’s ticklish there in a way that makes his breath catch and he literally fists the sheets, which is humiliating for him, idk. he’ll be like “ah—wh—hah, be careful, i—“ and then whimper into the back of his hand and cry like a pathetic old man he is!! yummy!

𖹭 sometimes he forgets to breathe. literally has to stop himself from holding his breath. you’ll have to tap his thigh like “hello? breathe babe!!!“

𖹭 he’s lowkey a pervert about hearing your throat work. . . like if he hears that wet gluck noise, he’s biting his fist and cumming so fast

𖹭 he won’t admit he likes gagging. he gets hard from the thought of you gagging on him. he doesn’t even need to see it. he’ll be alone, doing god knows what in the lab, and he’ll remember that time you couldn’t quite fit all of him, how your throat flexed and he’ll get hard

𖹭 he’s the kind of man who thinks he wouldnt need it. who might even stiffen up the first time you drop to your knees, but that’s just the thing about him, he’s starving and he doesn’t even know it

𖹭 he whimpers, obviously. strained little sounds in his throat because poor man trying so hard to keep his dignity stitched together, but it all goes to hell the moment your tongue flattens under the head of his cock. hes super sensitive

𖹭 Ford likes it when you touch his thighs while doing it. press your palms to them. he doesn’t know why it sends him spiraling but it does. makes him whimper harder

𖹭 his hands are shaky. they don't grab your head at first, they hover. then finally settle in your hair

𖹭 after he cums, i think he's burying his face in his hands or your shoulder or whatever he can reach. shuddering. that's because he's so embarrassed by how loud he was, how his hips twitched, how his thighs clenched around you.

𖹭 yess, Ford can avoid eye contact. sometimes he tries not to look but then he peeks and makes such slutty, broken, pathetic face. will whisper “don’t look at me like that” but u know he doesn’t mean it

𖹭 he pants. literally pants. like a dog. you wouldn't expect it from professor cool-calculated-explorer man, but as soon as you get your mouth on him, his breathing goes all stuttery, shallow, hot against the collar of his shirt. head tilted back. chest heaving. trying so hard to keep it together but failing miserably. “nnh—p-please slow d—fuck—just like that, darling, j-just—“

𖹭 he jerks his hips a little without meaning to. tries to be respectful, to let you set the pace, but once he’s deep enough in your throat, he makes these little shallow, guilty thrusts into your mouth and his voice breaks. “s-sorry, love. mnn, gods forgive me, I can’t—I can’t not—“

𖹭 if you wear glasses, he’ll cum on them. he will. and apologise. and then get hard again from how hot it looks

𖹭 will beg you to let him return the favor. right now. will beg to taste you, let him kneel too, pls

𖹭 his thighs always tighten. you can feel the tremble if you'll put your hand on them. he might grab the sheets or whatever’s behind him. he makes this helpless ughhnnn sound when he's getting close

𖹭 an advice for you. . . don’t rush, don’t treat it like a chore. it freaks him out. he’s already anxious about intimacy, so if you seem detached or too mechanical, he’ll overthink it.

𖹭 aaand if you’re too aggressive without warming him up, he’ll freeze. he needs the build-up, the slowness, my tender gentle boy

𖹭 one last thing, praise him. sure, some people want to be degraded, but Ford wants to be worshipped. tell him he tastes good. tell him you love doing this for him. tell him he’s smart, and handsome, and cute, and that hes your good boy and yours, i think he'll get sooo emotional. his EGO becomes cosmically huge.

〃 STANLEY

𖹭 absolutely loves receiving head, he's simple like that. maybe a lil obsessed with it, especially if its not some one-night stand or hook up, but when it's his partner doing it for him while in relationship. it’s about adoration, because Stanley thinks you're the sexiest thing alive when you're doing it and he will gladly show you how much he's enjoying it. grunts, groans, gasps, whole body involved.

𖹭 if he could have it his way you’d be on your knees every time he sat down with a drink in his hand

𖹭 he gets hard fast, this more applies to mullet Stan though. like you just say smth nasty (or even the smallest praise) and boom

𖹭 he gets off on you humping the bed while doing it. like if you’re desperate and grinding down while sucking him off? he’s gonna LOSE HIS MIND. “you that needy for it, huh? gotta get yourself off while you suck my dick? goddamn baby” he’ll start thrusting into your mouth all sloppy and turned on

𖹭 Stan likes when you hold his stomach. if you put both hands on his belly while you’re going down on him, he shudders. it makes him feel wanted. hot, attractive. “that’s it baby, hold onto me. you like this fuckin’ gut, don’t ya?”

𖹭 “open up, there you go. gimme that tongue, yeah, just like that, you fuckin’ love this, huh?”, “you better be ready to swallow all of it, sweetheart, ‘cause I ain’t holdin’ back.”

𖹭 he will enjoy it even more if you'll let him know you also enjoy it. if you'll you moan while sucking him off, he’ll throw his head back and go “holy SHIT” like he wasn’t ready. “that feel good, baby? feel it in your throat, huh?”

𖹭 gets so damn nasty if you beg for it. whispering “please gimme your cum, Stan, wanna taste you,”. will make him bend you over the nearest surface right after. you won’t walk straight <3

𖹭 loves to slap your ass afterward. in a loving way of course !! praises you for ten minutes straight. then offers you a beer and tells you you’re his favorite person in the world.

𖹭 ill talk about this more later but Stan loves sitting back in an armchair, legs spread wide, hips tilted up slightly, shirt unbuttoned but still on. gripping your hair, one leg bouncing, grinning with his teeth bared. and he loves it when you’re on your back and he kneels over your face. the reverse angle makes him moan so so sooo loud

𖹭 so damn talkative, he talks through the whole thing, and this man is so good at dirty talk. “you like that?” “you’re so good at this, holy shit.” “look at that pretty mouth stretched open like that.” “fuck, sweetheart, don’t stop.”

𖹭 he has a thing for watching your lips wrap around the tip. literally whines when you take just the head and swirl your tongue.

𖹭 i mean usually it all starts with his groans and grunts but please believe me when i say he moans like a whore when receiving head. he gets really loud and needy. i just believe that Stan is the type of guy who's really loud during sex, not even just blowjob.

𖹭 he’s a thrusting type!! can’t help it, his hips stutter. if you hold onto his hips and don’t let him move, he gets desperate. he’ll beg

𖹭 oh um. . . he cums hard. like. . . i mean, stomach-twitching, thigh-clenching, head-thrown-back hard. and he doesn’t mind where. down your throat? yes. across your tongue yes. on your cheek? yeah he loves that too

𖹭 i love Stan's smile so i think afterwards he usually laughs, smiles, jokes about smth. gets so soft, rubs his thumb across your mouth. “shit, baby, that was. . .ffuckkk. c’mere. lemme kiss you.”

𖹭 doesn’t care if it’s messy. he PREFERS messy. drool, spit, tears, makes him feel like you need him. and Stan needs to be needed

𖹭 Stan likes using his fingers too. his thick thumb on your cheek, knuckles brushing your jaw, fingers pressing into your neck, anything to make it more tactile and intimate <3

𖹭 and don’t forget, this guy is sensitive emotionally too!! you touch his belly or his chest while sucking him off? please. please do it! it gets into his head in a good way. wants to be wanted

𖹭 narrates the whole thing. “jesus fuck, look at you. look at that mouth. god, you’re takin’ me so good. holy fuck, sweetheart, i could bust already, shit—”

𖹭 uh. . . yeah, Stan slaps his cock against your tongue. especially mullet Stan but i mean just any Stan, ok. just a few playfully mean taps. and then he laughs when you whine, like “what, you like that?”

𖹭 he’s touchy, he can’t sit still. one hand in your hair, the other grabbing your ass if you both in right position for it, or cupping the back of your neck. he likes to feel how far he’s in <3 sometimes he just holds your throat gently to feel the movement.

𖹭 he gets off on spitting, sometimes he’ll lean down, spit in his hand, rub it over his cock while you’re on your knees and growl “lemme get it nice and wet for you, baby” before slipping it between your lips. criminal. someone arrest him

𖹭 loves when you use both hands and mouth at once

𖹭 he spreads his thighs so wide, i mean his whole body posture is inviting. you’re the star of the show after all!!

𖹭 calls you filthy names, one of them is “my sweet little cockslut” ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ idkk i don't make the rules. Stan is into degrading+praising at same time

𖹭 Stan LOVES when you gag and he’ll push in deeper when he hears it. of course if that's smth you're ok with!! that little stuttered choke noise is like a signal to him. my disgusting and wonderful man

𖹭 he gets emotional after!! maybe not weepy, but clingy, I JUST SEE HIM AS SUCH CLINGY TYPE OF BOYFRIEND. praise-heavy. “you treat me so good, baby,�� as he runs his hands up your thighs, kisses your forehead, tucks your hair behind ur ears like he didn’t just mouthfuck you within an inch of your life

𖹭 if you let him cum on your tongue and stick it out after. . . plsss do!

𖹭 he’ll pretend he’s busy so you blow him while he’s working in the shack. flipping through inventory logs, “counting bills” (no, never), whatever. he’ll be behind the desk, you on your knees, and he’s mumbling numbers while you’re sucking the life out of him. “yeah. . . four jars of eyeballs and one, ugh, one perfect fuckin’ mouth. right there. . .“

𖹭 when hes getting close, his gut flexes. the belly tenses, rolls. the thighs spread wider. and he holds your head still

𖹭 alsoo Stanley doesn’t like it too silent. if you’re totally quiet, won’t look at him, don’t touch him, he’ll get nervous. he wants to know you’re into it :(

[dark-lord-of-awesomeness]

The need to create is killing me, so here's something I wrote on my phone during my lunch break

Ford muttered as he worked, holding a piece of chalk firmly in his hand as he wrote out a string of numbers and symbols on the chalk board. He'd been at it for what felt like hours, writing and erasing and rewriting as he realized the numbers didn't make sense and the answer kept changing and-

Between one blink and the next the board was clear of everything. His chalk hit it where he'd been about to write.... something, and he stared with growing horror as he realized he'd have to redo it all. The horror turned to confusion as a shaky S started to appear, as if drawn by an invisible hand. It was followed by another, then another, until the whole board was filled with S's.

With a sigh he dropped the chalk, letting it disappear as he looked up at the smiling axolotl peering down at him from over the edge of the chalk board.

"Stanley," he said, glaring at his brother, "we talked about this."

"Did we?" Stan asked, swimming down through the air to twist around him. "What did we say?"

"That there are better ways to make yourself known then giving me a heart attack."

"Hmmm. OK." Stan swam until he was in front of Ford, then stuck out his tongue and tilted his head, "Hey! It's me!"

He did a flip, then swam around Ford again, not a care in the world. It would have infuriated Ford, if he didn't already know Stan couldn't help it. While Ford was now very much aware of his dreaming state and himself, they'd found that Stan seemed to forget everything about himself when he did this, only vaguely aware that he was dreaming at all.

"Hello Stanley," Ford said, bringing up his hands to cup the axolotl and hold him closer, "Did you want something?"

"Oh yeah! I did!"

Between one blink and the next Ford found himself sitting in a fishing boat, wearing fishing gear and a hat, pole already in his hands. Above was a pinkish orangish sky, full of puffy blue clouds, and a pitch black sea of distant twinkling stars below. Across from him was Stan, now the same size as him and wearing a vest and bucket hat with a line of S's sewn in, holding a similar pole and tail wiggling happily.

Fiddleford was also here, wearing a black bucket hat with a jumbled rubiks cube sewn on. He looked very confused.

"Let's go fishing," Stan said, reeling in his line, "it's been ages since I've been fishing."

"I'll see of we can rent out a boat when the weather gets warmer." Ford promised, pulling his hat down to see what Stan had given him. A sun looked back, wearing sunglasses. Not scientifically accurate but it was a dream, so he put it back on without fuss.

"Whats happening." Fiddleford said, looking around in terror. Ford frowned, then squinted at him. He thought that perhaps Stan had pulled his image from Fords subconscious, but maybe not.

"We're fishing," Stan said unhelpfully, reeling his line in all the way to reveal an asteroid on the end. Stan pulled it loose and dropped it into a bucket in the middle of the boat, then cast his line again, whistling happily.

"Stanley, is this the real Fiddleford?" Ford asked, setting his pole down and leaning forwards, "because if so, then-"

"Of course I'm real!" Fiddleford interrupted, looking offended, "this is my dream, why wouldn't I be!"

"Because this is my dream. Or at least it was." Ford frowned at Fiddleford as his friend opened and closed his mouth, then turned to Stan, who had caught an icy comet and dropped it into the bucket, "Stanley, who's dream is this?"

"Hmm? Uh," Stan tilted his head, making the frills on each side flop charmingly, then shrugged "its a dream. Hey do you know how to do color puzzles? I tried to do this one, but it just hurt my head."

Stan gestured to Fiddleford, then recast his line, kicking his little feet and going back to humming, as unhelpful as ever.

"There you go," Ford said, turning back to Fiddleford, "it's a dream. Possibly Stanley's, that he's pulled us into. To go fishing."

"I like fishing, nice and relaxing."

"It can be," Ford frowned at the endless night sea, leaning over and frowing at the lack of reflection, "although I'm far to intrigued to be relaxed. I wasn't aware you could visit others like this. Have you been visiting Fiddleford the last week? Is that why I haven't seen you?"

"What?" Fiddleford asked, still looking confused and slightly outraged, "what's going on."

[tinfoil-jones]

Tate Pines AU 

(aka Tater McGucket is an oops baby Fiddlestan kid)

Note: LONG POST. This is me hyper fixating on a brain worm because the Gravity Falls Fandom roared back to life. This is probably misspelled in a lot of areas, and not the clearest or most concise post because this is me rambling at 2 in the morning. Also the characters are maybe OOC. Also, this is written without accents because I'm not from the Midwest or southern United States.

In this AU/Scenario, Stan is a transgender man, and 'encountered' Fiddleford during his vagabond years. It was a heavily drunk/high one-night-stand, so they never properly met or even knew each others names. This happens after Ford graduating Backupsmore University, and for this scenario to work let’s say that Fiddleford went to BMU for his undergraduate program, but then went to the local university in Palo Alto for his graduate studies.

Years later, just like in the OG show Fiddleford is Stanford's research partner in Gravity Falls, and married to Emma-May Dixon; but they don't have any children together at this time, and they got together *after* his encounter with Stan. So this isn't an affair baby scenario.

Tatum "Tate" Pines is 5 years old, living on the road with his dad, currently staying in a motel but they're about to move into a real apartment for the first time ever because Tate needs to start school soon. Stan is still a drifter and a con man, but he recently came upon a large sum of money because Tate accurately guessed the lottery number for the state they were currently in.

Stan still receives a postcard from Gravity Falls that says "Please Come", and is allegedly sent from his estranged Twin who he hasn't seen in almost 12 years. But this is roughly a few months before it would have happened in-canon.

Given Stan's disownment, no one knows that he even has a son, not even Ma Pines. Not like he'd want them to know. Having his own son and loving him unconditionally made him realize that his own dad Filbrick was a monster, who he didn't need to prove himself to. But he still wants to reconcile with Ford, so he decides to go just like in canon.

This post card, however, wasn't sent by Ford. It was sent by Fiddleford, who was watching Ford spiral in real time and hoped that if anyone could convince Ford that he was acting crazy and unstable, it was his twin brother.

While Stanford doesn't greet Stanley with a crossbow like in the original because this is before the portal test with Fiddleford, he's definitely shocked to not just see Stanley there, but Stanley with a tiny gap-toothed child in tow.

Stan doesn't know that Ford wasn't expecting them, and excitedly introduces Ford to his nephew.

Ford: Stanley, are you sure this child is yours? Stan: ...Ford, did you forget we're not identical twins?  Ford: ...Oh! Oh my, Stanley... Stan: *thinking* 'I don't know if I'm touched that you don't see me as anything other than a man... or insulted that you forgot something so fundamental about me'

Flabbergasted, Ford lets them both in; Fiddleford is welding something downstairs so he doesn't see or hear any of this. Ford plants Tate on the couch in front of the TV and practically drags Stan to the kitchen to talk to him privately; he's too surprised by Stan having a child to question why they were there in the first place.

Ford: Is there a... another parent..? Stan: ...It's just me and Tate. Always has been. Ford: How did...? Stan: I didn't plan a pregnancy... but I had no money for T-shots for months on end, and without the T, everything down stairs went to factory default.  Ford: Do you know who it is? The father- I mean, the other father? Stan: Not exactly, some southern guy, don't think I ever got his name. Ford: What happened? Stan: Funny you should ask. (FLASHBACK) Fiddleford, high out of his mind: -and that's how I won a golden fiddle. Stan, drunk out of his mind: That's crazy, dude. *grabs him aggressively by the shirt collar to pull him close* Now shut up and fuck me until I can't walk. Fiddleford, horny out of his mind: Hoo-whee, well don't you diddly-darn mind if'n I do. (END) Ford: Stanley? Stan: Hmm? Ford: Are you okay? You just said 'its funny that you ask', and then stared off into space for 10 seconds. Stan: Let's just say I never touched tequila ever again.

Eventually, Fiddleford does come upstairs when he notices Ford didn't come back downstairs, and see's the brothers in the kitchen just as Ford asks Stan why he even came here.

Fiddleford admits it was him who sent the postcard, that someone needed to 'talk some sense' into Ford, and then introduces himself to Stan.

While Stan isn't perplexed by Fiddleford because he was too drunk to remember a face- Fiddleford, who has very good memory, immediately knows he met Stan somewhere, he just can't quite place where, when, or why.

Ford does show Stan the portal, saying it's his life's work and he'll need to test it soon, and casually asks Stan if he wants to stay and help. Before Fiddleford can protest that's a bad idea and Ford should just stop, Stan agrees because he wants to reconnect (and also keep a roof over Tate's head, what were the chances they'd win another lottery?), it did hurt his feelings that Stanford hadn't reached out out to him after all, but maybe they could work on that.

While Ford hasn't exactly forgiven Stanley for the science fair incident, he can't just let his brother, a single father be homeless with a five-year-old (Stan had to drop the lease with their intended apartment to come to Gravity Falls). And... well, Ford gets attached to Tate quite early:

Tate: ... *staring at him* Ford: Can I help you with something, Tatum? Tate: Uncle, is your name "Stanford"?  Ford: Yes, but if you prefer you can call me Uncle Ford. Tate: Oh. Okay. It's funny, Stanford is my middle name. *later* Stan: Kiddo, why has your uncle been sobbing in his room for the past thirty minutes? Tate: *shrugs*

Not realizing the gravity (hehe) of the situation, Stan gets settled in the house and helps Ford and Fiddleford where he can (usually just moving heavy objects or punching paranormal creatures, or forcing Ford to shower). He does notice that Ford seems a bit... unhinged, and weirdly obsessed with some new geometry based religion, but people change after college right?

He does get unnerved by Fords weird episodes where his personality seems to shift and he goes into town to act like an absolute menace. Stan can't help but think that isn't Ford; its been years since he saw him but damnit he knew his brother and whatever entity possessed him just to slap a cops belly, *that* was not Ford. But Ford always brushed him off when he tried to bring it up, and one time 'Ford' even coldly reminded Stan that he could remove Stanley and his son from the home at any time if he wasn't going to be useful.

During this time, Stan and Fiddleford get to know each other, they get along quite well actually; Fiddleford is fond of little Tatum, who along with Stan enjoys listening to him play the banjo. One could say, given Fords obsession with his current passion project and prioritizing work over his relationships, that Stan and Fiddleford become close. 

Fiddleford picks up, however... that little Tate is a genius. Although he's a quiet kid, he has an advanced vocabulary for his age. He's able to read and write at what must be a 2nd or 3rd grade level despite not even starting kindergarten yet, and... one time Fiddleford left an 8x8 cubiks cube unattended, and came back no more than five minutes later to see that Tate had already solved it. And Stan had told him that Tate has actively predicted lottery numbers before.

He brings it up with Stan, who admits that he already knows Tate is a genius, but he also knows what academic pressure and high expectations can do to someone (referring to Ford), and he just wants Tate to live life by his own terms, not let other people dictate that for him based on his IQ.

Fiddleford... also see's resemblances between himself and Tate. Sure, Tate has browner hair like Stan, but the wavier texture is just like his own. And while Stanley does have a prominent nose, it's not as prominent as Tates, which is much more similar to Fiddlefords. 

Fiddleford begins to ask Stan about his past, specifically bringing up that he believes they may have met before.

Fiddleford: Say, Stan, did we meet before you moved here? You're so familiar to me. Stan: I wonder where you could have possibly seen my face before? *glances at the lab* Fiddleford: No. I feel like we've met before - you ever been to Palo Alto? Stan: That city in Cali? Yeah. I'd say about six years ago. I was just passing by, resupplying, and selling weed to college students. Fiddleford: You were a weed dealer? Stan: Among other things, yeah. California's *the* place to go to for weed. I don't do it anymore. Fiddleford: Did you... ever visit the university there? Stan: A couple times. Hated going there because it reminded me of... well, I think you know. Why? Fiddleford: I did my graduate studies there, maybe I met you there? Stan: You think so? I only saw buyers, did you buy weed from me? Fiddleford: No... I had a dealer, but it wasn't you. Stan: Other than that, I did get invited to a frat party once. Think they were called "SigEp" or something. Fiddleford: That's 'Sigma Phi Epsilon'. That was the fraternity I belonged to. Did I see you at that party? Stan: Probably - oh man that party was crazy. I made so many bad decisions that night. Fiddleford: Stanley... how old did you say your son was? Stan: Five, why? Fiddleford: ... Fiddleford: Stanley... *reaches out* Stan: *jerks back, before pointing away* Hey look over there, a distraction! Fiddleford: What- *looks away* Stan: *jumps out the window and makes a run for it*

Stan does not entertain any further discussions with Fiddleford about his past, and goes out of his way to keep Tate with him and away from Fiddleford. Given his criminal past, he's afraid that if Fiddleford is correct, he could make legal actions to take Tate away from him.

Fiddleford eventually goes to Ford about his suspicions.

Fiddleford: Stanford I'm going to tell you something, and I need you to promise you'll stay calm. Stanford: *doesn't look up from microscope* Are you going to tell me you suspect you're Tatum's father because you slept with my brother around the time he would have been concieved? Fiddleford: ... Stanford: Because you are. Fiddleford: What in tar- Stanford: *tosses a file folder towards Fiddleford* I have all of our DNA on file - Fiddleford: You do???? Stanford: Of course I do! I store the DNA profile of everyone who's entered my residence, just in case there's a shifter afoot. Comparing yours and Stanley's DNA to Tatum's, there is only a 0.001% chance that he isn't your biological child. Fiddleford: ... *speechless* Stanford: Congratulations, according to science you're a father.

Fiddleford does eventually manage to talk to Stan about it, and clear the air between them. Stan is apprehensive because Fiddleford is married, but he's at least relieved that Tate happened before Fiddleford was in a relationship with Emma-May. Stan allows Fiddleford to spend more time with Tate (supervised), but they agree Tate doesn't need to know just yet what Fiddleford is to him.

Fiddleford also holds back on telling his wife about Tate, he'd prefer to tell her face-to-face.

But then the portal test happens and Fiddleford gets a glimpse of the horrors beyond the portal, which traumatizes him just like in the original. This doesn't convince him to leave, because Ford is becoming dangerous and Fiddleford is worried about what would happen if Stan and Tate were left alone with him. He invents the memory gun, but holds up on using it on himself.

The relationship Ford has with both Stan and Fiddleford  becomes more explosive. Stan and Fiddleford are both telling Ford that he's messing with forces beyond his control.

To get Fiddleford off of his back about the portals, Ford instead lashes out at him about something else.

Stanford: Fiddleford... you know you're my best friend right? Fiddleford: ...Of course. Stanford: Stanley and I don't have a good relationship... we haven't in a long time. *puts a hand on his shoulder* But don't you dare hurt my brother, or nephew. I don't care how strained things are between Stanley and myself, or how close you and I are... He's my brother, and I'll always protect him, even if it's from you. Fiddleford: Do you think I would try to steal Tatum, Stanford?! *Pushes him away* Also, if you're going to threaten me, you could at least not be such a hypocrite. Stanford: How dare- Fiddleford: You say you care about Stanley? That you'd protect him? He's been homeless for over a decade! You SAW him get kicked out of home when he was still a minor! He escaped three different prisons, had extremely shady black-market top-surgery, chewed his way out of the trunk of a car, and gave birth by himself in an alleyway! He had walking pneumonia for nearly a year straight and almost died from it because he had to choose between himself and Tate over who needed treatment more!  But you didn't know any of that, did you? Because you don't talk to him or try to reach out. You still avoid him. You still treat him like he's your enemy. You're still resentful about that damn science project.  You don't know him or what he went through. You didn't even want him here, I called him up here so maybe somebody could set you straight!  Working with this portal, messing with these forces beyond comprehension and control- the only threat to Stan and our son is you! Ford: Get the hell out of my lab- and stay the hell away from my twin.

But this 'Mystery Trio'-esque era of their lives has a Bad End:

After Ford gets sucked into the portal the same way as he did in the original, Stanley decides to take over his identity; Fiddleford helps him with everything up until Stan fakes his own death.

As Tate's biological (other) father, and Stan having recently altered Tate's birth certificate to add Fiddleford, the boy is given to Fiddleford right away following Stan's 'death' and not put into foster care or an orphanage. This window of time is also when Fiddleford establishes the Society of The Blind Eye, but he chooses a leader after he founds it rather than leading it himself.

When Stan makes it clear he's going to dedicate himself to fixing the portal and bringing Ford back, Fiddleford makes a drastic decision. 

Knowing what the portal obsession did to Stanford, Fiddleford doesn't want Tate to be around if- no, when, the same thing happens to Stan. 

He uses the memory gun on Stan to make him forget about their son entirely. He does the same thing to Tate to make him forget about Stanley, legally changes his name to Tater McGucket, and takes him back to California with him.

He makes this decision because in this scenario he never used the memory gun on himself, so the memory of what's on the other side of the portal still haunts him, making him more desperate and callous, especially with a child involved.

It breaks his heart that he did this, but he doesn't want Tate to be dragged into Pines drama. He takes the boy home and tells his wife that he was conceived before they were together (looking at Tate's age, he was born at least a year before they started dating), and uses the news clipping about Stan's death to explain how he got custody without any trouble, and Emma-May adopts Tate. Tates memory gaps are excused by his young age, and the trauma of losing a parent at such a young age, so Fiddleford and Emma-May decide not to tell him about Stanley.

Stan forgets about both Tate and Fiddleford, but he has this deep sense of loss and betrayal that he can't place. He figures over the years that maybe it's just some of his feelings about Ford having gone through the portal...

Decades later, and after a divorce, Fiddleford moves back to Gravity Falls, bringing Tate with him so Tate can start his Bait and Tackle Shop somewhere quiet. Fiddleford is there to check up on the Society of the Blind Eye, and also to check on Stanley because he feels guilty about what he did. Although he knows that this is Stanley pretending to be Stanford, he says nothing to anybody about it, it's the least he could do.

When Stan see's Fiddleford again - he doesn't know why, because he's 'never met the guy', but just looking at his face pisses him off. And every time Stan see's Fiddleford from then on, whether its across the street or at the shops or what have you, he is openly hostile towards him even if he can't adequately explain why he feels this way about Fiddleford. Also strangely attracted to him, particularly his banjo playing, but its overshadowed by his hostility.

Stan meets Tate shortly after the Tate and Backles Bait and Tackle shop is opened... and he doesn't know why, but this young man he's never met makes him feel sad. But also... Relieved? Elated? Proud?? He comes by often, sometimes not even buying (or stealing) anything, he just chats with Tate (and Backle to a lesser degree).

Tate himself feels strangely fond of this frequent flier customer. Like he's met a dear old friend. He is awfully confused why Stan will sometimes call him 'Tatum', seemingly without noticing, and why he never feels like correcting him. 

Fiddleford knows why, because he never erased his own memory, and he feels so guilty. But it's been 30 years, he can't say anything without ruining his relationship with Tate (which became strained after the divorce, which in this timeline happened maybe around Tate's late teen/early adult years). 

One way that this whole thing can be revealed is when Dipper and Mabel deal with The Blind Eye society, they find two memory tubes, one labelled "Tatum S. Pines" and another labeled "Stan Pines" take it with them because it has their last name, and Grunkle Stans name, on them.

They play the one labeled Stan Pines at first, and realize it's Tates early childhood memories of Stan.

When they play the one labeled "Tatum S. Pines" they see it's all of Grunkle Stans memories of Tate, leading up to his confrontation with Fiddleford.

(MEMORY) Stan, backing up: Wait, what is that thing? Fiddleford, what are you doing with that?! Fiddleford, pointing the memory gun at him: I'm sorry Stan, I truly am. But I can't let you drag our son into this... I do care for you, and I wish things could have been different. But you're just like him!  **BLAST** (END OF MEMORY)

This horrifies them, and they have a real moral conundrum of if they tell Stan and Tate, or if they keep it to themselves to keep the peace. 

They deserve to know... but it'd be so painful. And this would take place before "The Tale of Two Stans" so they don't even know what Fiddleford was talking about to justify stealing Tate, or who 'him' is.

Eventually, it's Wendy and Soos who confront McGucket and tell him that he better be honest with Stan and Tate, or they're going to do it for him. That he's a selfish coward who ripped someone's young child from their arms.

Or, an alternative scenario; Fiddleford never stored those memories in the first place, or at least didn't store them with the Society of the Blind Eye, and it's Ford who brings this all up to Stan. Ford was already through the portal when Fiddleford decided that parental abduction was totally okay if there was amnesia involved.

Ford: Are these Tatum's children? *motioning to Dipper and Mabel*. Stan: They're Shermie's grandkids, and - who? Ford: ...Tatum? Tatum Stanford Pines? Your son. Stan: ...I don't- I don't have a son. *tears gathers in the corner of his eyes, but he either doesn't notice, or chooses to not react* And if I did, I wouldn't give him your name as a middle. Ford: Yes you do, and yes you did. You introduced us right before the portal incident. I even DNA-sequenced him to confirm that his other father was Fiddleford. Stan: WHAT? And- who?? Ford: Here, look *pulls up his DNA files from ones of his secret safes in the lab and shows it to Stanley, which not only has the DNA results but also pictures of Stanley, Fiddleford, and Tate from the time* Honestly Stanley, how could you forget a child you car-.

Ford realizes something is wrong when it's clear that Stanley is distressed, but also confused, like having a son is legitimately a surprise to him. He's so shocked he has to lie down for a bit. His eyes keep leaking tears but he doesn't know why 'Fords cruel and oddly elaborate joke' is making him so upset, because 'clearly it's not true'.

When Ford hears Fiddleford lives in Gravity Falls, he seeks him out and demands answers.

At first, Fiddleford tries to play it off like maybe Ford was remembering things wrong - but with enough pressure, and a ray gun pointed at his chest, Fiddleford finally comes clean. About what he did. Why he did it.

Ford is still angry at Stan for getting him trapped in the Nightmare Realm Multiverse for 30 years; and then stealing his name, identity, and house, but that's still his twin brother. And what Fiddleford did was to him was horrendous, especially after Stanford had already warned him years ago to not to hurt Stan or Tate. This was a crime against the whole Pines family. 

So Ford beats him up. No, he doesn't kill or maim him, but he beats the living dog shit out of him until Fiddleford promises the glass tubes of Stan and Tate's memories in exchange for mercy.

Mabel, Dipper (and Soos/Wendy) are clearly confused (because they wouldn't have seen the memories in the "The Hall of the Forgotten"). Although, this whole revelation does bring Dipper closer to Stan, because Dipper had no idea he wasn't the only transgender person in the family.

Ford shows these memories to Stan first, who is going through all kinds of emotions especially after getting Ford back and their bitter reunion. This allows Ford and Stan to somewhat reconcile early; just like how Ford lost 30 years of his life to the portal, Stanley lost 30 years with his own son because of his conviction to fix it.

Ford also has to physically stop Stan from hunting down and murdering Fiddleford (who Stan only knew as McGucket up to this point) with his bare hands. Reminding him that it's more important that he reaches out to Tate.

But Stan is conflicted. He wants to be Tate's dad again but... Tate is in his mid-thirties, he doesn't need him like he did when he was 5. And Tate already has two loving parents, both of which don't have an extensive criminal record, and who provided him with a stable home, which Stan never did because they were homeless the whole time.

Does he really want to uproot Tate's life and/or peace of mind with a revelation this big?  

This goes all the way to Weirdmageddon, where everyone gathers in the Mystery Shack for security; faced with a possible end of the world, Stan takes Tate to the side, dragging Fiddleford with them, and tells him the truth. Fiddleford confirms it all, ashamed and apologetic. Finally, they give Tate his memory tube, which he watches.

For a moment Stan and Fiddleford have a moment of solidarity; Stan can see that Fiddleford really did want to spare Tate from whatever unknown-at-the-time fate had befallen Stanford because of the portal.

Fiddleford finally faces his past mistakes, and apologizes for what he did. That what he did was wrong, and he can never make it up to them, but if they survive this maybe he could try to make things right.

This is their last family moment between the three of them pre memory-wipe.

The mind wipe thing still happens. Gravity Falls is saved. Mabel and Dipper manage to jog Stan's memory but there's no way to make him remember Tate - the glass memory tubes have already been used, and Stan didn't keep any photos from his homeless era because he couldn't afford it most of the time, and when he could he always managed to get kicked out of whatever state they were in before the photos were done developing.

Once again, Ford comes in clutch. Throughout his last journal, just like how he made entries about Fiddleford, he also made entries about Stan and Tate, including detailed sketches. How Tate liked to get into high places, exasperating Stanley who was afraid of heights. How Stan would take him to the woods to follow the creeks because Tate was intrigued by waterways. How Tate said so few words but Stan always seemed to know exactly what he wanted or needed at any given time. How Tate only liked eating the green M&M's but Stan was fine with it because he got to eat the rest. 

Now while Stan's heartwarming memories of his son come back, so does his desire to break Fiddlefords neck. 

Fiddleford still buys the Northwest Mansion and converts it to "McGucket's Hootenanny Hut", but because the Pines families are the heroes of Gravity Falls, they (Ford) manage to convince the local government to put Fiddleford on house arrest for an indeterminate amount of time as punishment for 30-something years of parental abduction and alienation (also the whole starting a Cult thing). Fiddleford accepts this, and Tate still lives with him.

Post memory-wipe Stan still reconciles with both of them, and his relationship with Fiddleford is... weird, but not entirely bad. It's like they're dating, but with a lot of emotional distance. Like, Stan still tells Ford he wants to murder him... but also tells him to never, ever, check their texting history. 

Stan still goes to sail the world with Ford on the Stan O'War II. They do invite Tate, who declines because "He'd rather just live the simple life in Gravity Falls, and not get involved in whatever supernatural gobbledygook his dad and uncle are sure to get into".

And Stan is so proud of him... because just like he said thirty years, there's nothing he wanted more for Tate than to live his life by his own terms. He video chat's with him as often as he does with Dipper and Mabel. 

Tate ends up keeping McGucket as his last name, but he changes his first and middle back to what it was originally.

And that's the end of this tale, thanks for sticking with me. Here's a passage where Ford teases Stan while they're on their sea adventure;

Ford: It was so sweet of you to give your son my name. Stan: Poindexter, I swear to Moses. Ford: Even after a decade apart. Admit it, you missed me so much. Stan: *rolls his eyes* Of course I did. Stan: Stan: But the real reason that's his middle name is because he was conceived at Stanford University. Ford: I- Ford: I really didn't want to know or think about that.

The End... Go home.

[lackinggravitas]

yo. part four of stan if he was raised by coyotes is here :-)

part 1 / part 2 / part 3/ part 4(you are here!) / part 5 / part 6 / part 7(eventually)

ao3 vers

Here’s the plan:

DNA testing was a relatively new science in the 1970s and 80s. The science was known to be possible, but the technology wasn’t quite there yet. Also, Ford did not, for all his many PhDs, take a minor in Biology. Or have a degree in Engineering. 

All of these things Fiddleford had. 

Granted, Ford would be lying if he said part of it wasn’t fueled by the desire to see his old college friend again. Fiddleford had been the first ever true friend he made after Stanley went missing. Ford hadn’t exactly been chomping at the bit to attend Backupsmore, of all places, but he’d been desperate to go to college, to get out of the house, as soon as possible. Backupsmore provided that.

But meeting Fiddleford had made it all worthwhile. It had been so long since Ford felt there was someone he just fit with. Fiddleford shared his curiosity, his brilliance, and brought to the table his gumption and creativity, with a pragmatic attitude and hospitable personality. They’d spent many nights up late, playing DD&MD, or studying together, or just sitting on their separate beds, talking quietly as they stared up at the ceiling. Fiddleford felt like a kindred spirit, a fellow star amongst stones. They fit.

Then they graduated. Then Fiddleford got married. 

Ford had wondered often throughout his life if there was something wrong with him. As a child he reasoned that his lack of interest in the opposite sex (or even the same sex) had simply been the logical thing to do. That belief had held throughout college - why would he take precious time away from his studies to go on frivolous affairs with people he didn’t even know that well? 

It certainly worked out for most of his life. Ford didn’t know of any women (or men) who would want to go out with him. He was always viewed as strange, unwieldy, unsociable. And Ford didn’t even want romance - the idea of it held nothing for him. 

What he wanted was companionship. Someone to be there. 

He’d been happy for his friend, of course. Fiddleford really did seem to love Emma-May. It was just that-

-it was just that it was yet another reminder that Ford was abnormal. An alien in human skin. 

It was just that Fiddleford getting married felt like being left behind. It was just that Fiddleford getting married felt like a reminder that Ford was alone, that he wasn’t normal, that eventually everyone, even Fiddleford, would move on to normal, happy lives, without the stain of the freakish Stanford Pines.

So he did what monsters did best, and holed himself up in a lonely lair to hide away, until he had achieved an accomplishment, a discovery so big and so bright, it would eclipse his abnormality in importance. He would stop being Ford the Freak and start being Dr. Stanford Pines, Ph.D, the Genius. 

(When he, at the ripe old age of five, told Stanley of this grand plan (still young in the making), Stanley had just shrugged at him and, with all the simplicity that comes with being five years old and seeing everything at its face value, said, “Okay, whatever makes you happy, Sixer. Just so long as you don’t forget about me.”)

But now he had a reason to call Fiddleford up. For science- er- for Stanley!

The plan was to phone Fiddleford and invite him to leave his family for several months to create some sort of machine that would revolutionize the study of genetics, so that Ford could definitively prove that Remus was not his brother and that he was simply going mad with grief or something, and once they had that done, they could create some sort of DNA-seeking robot to hunt down Ford’s real brother and return him. All very achievable things. 

Actually, more achievable than you might think. Fiddleford picked up on the second ring. 

“You say you're tryin' to build a biochemical deoxyribonucleic acid analyzer to compare two folks’ DNA?” Fiddleford paused for Ford’s awkward, ‘Well, yes, but…’ before cutting him off, “Well that's biologically and mathematically feasible, I reckon!”

Ford let out a billowing sigh of relief. “Thank you, Fiddleford. You have no idea how much this means to me.”

“Hey, just so long as you ain’t planning on using it for evil!”

A beat.

Fiddleford cackled, telephone-static crackling in his laugh. “I’m just kiddin’! Science has no morals!”

Ford chuckled fondly, already feeling lighter. He’d forgotten how comfortable he’d felt around Fiddleford, how at ease everything felt - he didn’t have to pretend to be anything he wasn’t. “Quite. It’s good to see that the married life hasn’t changed you too much.” 

“Oh, hardly! It’s real boring, really- ever since Emms banned murderbots in the house,  I’ve taken to creating computermajigs to keep m’self sane! I’m like a hog with no mud to roll in, Stanferd. It’s maddenin’!”

“I’ll welcome any murderbots you wish to make here,” Ford told him genuinely. “So long as they don’t turn on us, of course.”

“What do I look like to you? A first year Engineering student?” Fiddleford laughed brightly. “I’ll see ya in a week, Stanferd!”

“Farewell,” Ford said, before the line went flat.

He set the phone down, breathing out with a small smile on his face. 

Right then.

It would take at least a week, maybe two, for Stanley’s baby teeth to arrive - Ford had tried to get his mother to pay for faster shipping, but she’d been firm in that she wasn’t spending any more money than she had to, especially when Ford wouldn’t even tell her what he planned on doing with the teeth beyond ‘it’s for science’. In her mind, if Ford wouldn���t tell her exactly what he was planning, then it clearly wasn’t urgent enough to pay the extra however-many-scents for express shipping.

Typical, really. Ford was certain that if he had told her he planned to do mystic, folklore spells with them, she would have paid for the President himself to deliver the package. Typical.

Instead, Ford was using science. Which his parents did not think was good enough. “When will you start making money, Stanford?”

They hadn’t exactly shelled out for Stanley’s search, either, he thought bitterly. If they had, maybe Stanley would still-

Ford cut that thought off, running a hand through his hair with a deep sigh. It wasn’t that he disagreed with it, but he didn’t have time to spiral down that particular cold staircase of thought. It was one best explored on empty nights, with a shot glass as his only company. Right now, he had to get to work.

Stanley’s teeth would hopefully provide an adequate DNA sample to test. Ford knew Stanley hadn’t lost all his teeth before he went missing (most children slowly lose their teeth throughout all of their childhood, all the way until they’re twelve), but Ford did have the very distinct memory of Stanley accidentally smashing headlong into a fence at the dock and losing a tooth, which they had then brought to their mother.

Stanley had been very casual about the whole thing, contrasting the sheer, all-consuming panic Ford had felt at the time because, was that supposed to come out? Oh Moses, Stanley, what if you knocking the tooth out too early means the adult one doesn’t come in right? What if-

You mean I might get an awesome pirate tooth? Like a gold one or a snaggletooth? Stanley had grinned broadly, showing off a mouth that looked far more gruesome and bloody than it really ought to have. That would be so cool!

Ford had been such a nervous child, he recalled. Smart enough to know about the dangers of the world, but not smart enough to know he really didn’t have to worry about most of them. The same younger version of him had been deathly afraid of rabies (fair) and brain-eating amoebas (absolutely absurd, they were swimming in the ocean, not Lake Michigan or what have you).

But Stanley had a way of balancing him out. As a child Ford had thought Stanley must not be scared of anything, which in retrospect certainly couldn’t have been true, but Stanley had certainly always acted the part. Ford would always remember his brother to be daring and reckless, rushing into things without a moment's thought. If we’re together, Stanley had always said, then I’ve got nothin’ to be scared of. 

…he must have been so scared, alone, abandoned, at the gas station.

No. Ford had to stop thinking about this. Now isn’t the time. 

He had to… he had to set up the guest bedroom. Yes, that’s what he had to do. Fiddleford would need a place to sleep while they worked. 

Ford had a small basement he’d been thinking about renovating for more lab space, but there was no way even the impressive construction abilities of the Corduroy family could get that done in the week’s time it would take Fiddleford to arrive in Gravity Falls. 

The DNA-Machine (name pending(maybe something in Latin?)) could easily go in the living room area, if Ford cleared out some space. Ford certainly wasn’t about to make his friend sleep in a sleeping bag on the floor, so he’d have to get a bed from the mattress store. As for the room-

Fiddleford certainly couldn’t stay in Stanley’s room. That was… no. Just no. Ford had to keep that room open, for if- when Stanley returned. Letting anyone else stay in there was out of the question. 

It would have to be in the attic area then. Ford was quite certain he could convert one of the rooms into a suitable, even comfortable guest bedroom. He’d even put in a few books of his he knew Fiddleford would like, in case he wanted to pick up some late night reading - Ford and Fiddleford were both prone to restlessness in the night. 

Ford would also need to pick up some more groceries. He certainly didn’t have enough food to feed two, much less-

Oh, right. Remus. 

Fiddleford would… probably be okay with Remus, right? Ford didn’t really see the creature going anywhere in the near future, and the DNA-Machine was being built quite literally because of Remus. 

Remus certainly couldn’t sleep in Stanley’s room either, because he wasn’t Stanley. Ford may not have proved that yet, but he was certain of it nonetheless. 

Remus could sleep in his room with him, Ford decided. Remus wasn’t human, and clearly had no concept of human boundaries, and Ford didn’t mind sharing the space. He’d shared a bed often enough with Stanley, when they were young. 

There was a soft, muffled thump from down the hall, and Ford straightened, attention snapping towards the noise. 

He could hear the quiet, distinct noise of Remus walking towards the door on all fours, then begin to scratch at it, making a sound halfway between a whine and a growl. 

Ford huffed, amused. It seemed someone had woken up. 

His eyes trailed towards the clock on the wall. Halfway to 8 o'clock at night was a bit early to turn in, but by the sound of it, Remus wouldn’t let him stay awake any longer than that. Apparently it was their bedtime. 

He would get an early start in the morning, he told himself. Going to bed early meant he would only wake up even earlier than usual, maybe even avoid some crowds. He had no idea what day of the week it was - time seemed to blur together like that, when the only schedule that mattered was your own. Without school or a 9-to-5, it was easy to lose track of the days of the week, as they didn’t really matter. 

Ford moved back down the hall, not bothering to muffle his steps as he walked back to his bedroom. 

Soft growls and whines could be heard from the other, Remus’ nails creaking against the wood - Ford frowned at the thought of the damage the creature must be doing to his poor door. Or to his own nails. Perhaps it would be best to teach Remus how to use a doorknob. 

Ford waited until the scratching stopped to open the door - he didn’t want Remus to fall through it unexpectedly. He grasped the handle and softly pushed the door open.

And there sat Remus, long, curly brown hair billowing out around him, spooling out on the floor like cascading water - it was amazing how one bath could make Remus look so much better. Now he was a far cry from the ragged, scruffy creature Ford had found in the woods earlier - long, clean hair, not a smudge of dirt on him, with brown eyes blinking up at Ford with a severely unimpressed look, like Ford had personally offended him. 

It was almost funny, till the thought ‘Looks a bit like Pa’ crossed his mind, and suddenly Ford just felt tired. 

“Yes, yes,” Ford said, giving a small, tired huff of amusement, “I’m supposed to be in bed, hm?”

Remus growled softly, letting out one, sharp bark. 

“This is actually my house, you know,” Ford said jokingly, “You should be the one following my rules, not the other way around.” 

Remus growled again, starting to sound annoyed. He stepped forward, snapping his teeth around Ford’s pants leg and trying to pull him. There was a surprising amount of force in it, for an action that was all teeth. 

“Senseless beast,” Ford sniped, though there was no heat behind it. Only a fond sort of humor, at Remus and the situation both. “Very well. I see I have no choice in the matter.” 

He allowed himself to be pulled towards the bed, before climbing in himself so that Remus wouldn’t get it in his head to try and force him again. That had been unpleasant. 

Fortunately Ford hadn’t put his shoes back on after the bath, so all he had to do was awkwardly shrug off his trenchcoat and toss it to the floor, then set his glasses on the nightstand (Ford was fine sleeping in his shirt and pants - he’d done it plenty, more often than not, actually). 

Remus climbed in beside him, thankfully not on top of Ford this time. He curled up at Ford’s side like a dog, seeming pleased, either with himself or with this whole thing, Ford couldn’t tell. He definitely looked smug, though. 

“I should make you sleep at the foot of the bed,” Ford said, making no move to do so. He lifted a hand, petting Remus’ hair idly. 

Remus made a contented noise, shifting to get more comfortable on the bed. His head tipped towards Ford, welcoming Ford’s petting.

“I wonder how intelligent you are, anyways,” Ford mused. “I should run some tests on you, seeing how human-like you really are. Just because you’re not my brother doesn’t mean you’re not some other, completely human individual who happened to have grown up in the woods.”

Ford stared up at the ceiling, voice hushed. 

“Surely you can’t be Stanley, though. He was five years old - far too old to completely lose all language skills and human development. He should have been able to find a place in a human society - why on Earth would he have ever needed to- to become something like you?” 

He wouldn’t have needed to. 

Unless something horrible happened to him. 

Ford shuddered inexplicably. No. Remus was not his brother. 

Once he had his proof then he would be able to put that ridiculous, borderline intrusive notion to rest. He knew it couldn’t be true, Remus couldn’t be his brother, yet he couldn’t stop thinking it. About how much Remus looked like him, how he acted in ways that were reminiscent of Stanley, just twenty years evolved and grown. 

But it wasn’t true. Ford was certain it wasn’t true. 

(Surely he would have known if Stanley had been suffering. 

Surely he would have felt something. Some cosmic pull. A divine sign. Something.)

Remus huffed at him. Ford could hear the exasperation in it, like Remus was telling him to shut up and go to sleep already. Ford smiled faintly. 

He rolled over, pulling a pillow under his head. “Goodnight, Remus,” Ford whispered, giving Remus’ hair one last pet.

taglist! let me know if you want to be added or removed.

@ebsrahl @artistredfox @m0rkl @thesnakelord @littlelilliana15 @darsbw @raska-tmg @i-am-harmless @majoringinfanfiction @bluefrostyy @adhd-nighmare @i-am-harmless @babyblankyerror

[shanklin]

Stan and Ford share a single brain cell.

Literally.

It’s the very special brain cell that turns the holder into a genius. It also likes to suck up all new knowledge it can find.

You lose the brain cell? You lose the knowledge.

As children no one was sure which one of them was the smart twin. Maybe they both were. Maybe neither.

The brain cell holder switched freely depending on who needed it the most. However, the older they got the more Ford used it.

He actually liked to study and feed the brain cell, unlike Stan who just shrugged and let Ford have it most of the time. It’s not like he needed it for much anyway except for getting a passing grade on a test. 5 minutes were usually more than enough.

This was all fine until it wasn’t. Until Ford did all the work, put all the effort into studying, only for Stan to steal and misuse his efforts whenever it was convenient for him to do so.

And let’s not forget that time when Stan skipped school and took control over the brain cell right when Ford was supposed to give a presentation.

Ford was the main holder of the brain cell. All his knowledge and studies went into it. Without the brain cell he was no longer a genius and he couldn't fall back on the knowledge he acquired.

Needless to say the fall out of that presentation wasn’t pretty and Stan promised Ford not to use the brain cell unless Ford allowed it.

He kept that promise even when he shouldn’t have. He never took control over the brain cell to check if Ford’s project was really still working as intended, because he didn’t want to break Ford’s trust and lose him over it.

After he got kicked out however, the promise meant nothing. Stan still used the brain cell rarely, but he used it. He had to use it to survive, though he tried to only use it in emergencies or when Ford was sleeping and the brain cell was not in use, which as the years went by became a concerning rare occasion.

One time Stan stole the brain cell from Ford and read all books he could find on the importance of sleep and yeeted the brain cell back to Ford, hoping he would get the message.

Another time he spent a day wrestling Ford mentally for the brain cell just to learn how to cook basic meals because their mother was worried about Ford's eating habits.

These occasions were few and far in between. So few in fact that a certain dream demon never quite figured out what was going on. He was however slightly impressed and very frustrated with how well guarded the important parts of Ford’s mind were.

Ford never mentioned it, in part because sharing the brain cell has always been as natural as breathing and in part because he was ashamed Bill would think less of him if he knew that the genius mind he chose wasn’t truly Ford's alone.

And then Bill betrayed Ford and the age old question of who the smart twin was finally got its answer.

It was Stanley. With or without the brain cell Ford knew, Stanley would have never been this stupid. He would’ve seen through Bill from the start.

Ford’s stupidity has doomed the world and Ford has no way to stop it. Bill owned him.

Oh, but he doesn’t own the important part right? He hasn’t cracked the brain cell yet. The one thing he needed to activate the portal was still out of his reach.

Ford has no way to keep Bill out of his mind, but years ago he found a way to keep the brain cell out. It was supposed to be an emergency measure if Stan one day decided to keep the brain cell permanently, but it will now be used for the exact opposite.

So Ford threw the brain cell into Stan’s mind, blocked it with an unbreakable spell from coming back and fell asleep smiling.

Let Bill do whatever he wanted with his mind and body, Ford was useless to him now.

Meanwhile Stan wakes up with the knowledge of how to destroy the world and dull emptiness where his brother’s presence used to be.

Meanwhile Ford, with the math skills of a second grader, drinks a mental smoothie and laughs at Bill flipping his shit over Ford suddenly being an idiot.

“Ah, sorry Bill. Could you dumb it down a little? I have no idea what you just said.”

[kerink]

@the-mad-prince-of-denmark exaaactly. i love ford trying so hard to heal and grow and find his place as a regular normal person instead of either being the eternal victim misunderstood and rejected or the main character lone hero of dimension 46'\

but also. its kind of boring being a regular person. ford has too much energy and his mind works too fast. he knows things and has experienced things no one else has and it makes it hard to relate. he's forgotten things about human culture and he was never very good at it to begin with either. he sometimes forgets english and relies on his universal translator implant too much. he feels othered in a new way, a way that isn't as subjective as before. he's lonely, despite making an honest and earnest attempt.

and when that happens he visits bill. he says it's to confirm he's still locked up, see if he's reincarnated yet, lies and says he's coming just to assure the kids, but bill knows and ford knows bill knows.

bill was right. no one makes him feel seen like he does. no one understands him like he does. standing at bill's side feels like home.

ford always breaks down afterwards. locks himself in the lab and rages at himself, cries on particularly bad days, drinks. wonders what's wrong with him, wonders if he's fundamentally broken in some irreparable way; that's the only explanation for why bill makes him so happy, makes him feel so complete, makes him feel whole, scratches an itch no one and nothing else can.

and the only thing he can think to do is throw himself into his family twice as hard. spend more time with the kids, talk with stan, work with fiddleford, plan new adventures, play games, watch tv, go shopping, have dinner, be normal. and it's nice! it is! it makes him happy! he feels loved and thankful and grateful and so unspeakably lucky!

but it isn't the same.

[anyydidi]

WRITING THIS POST BECAUSE I'M SO SICK OF PEOPLE MISCHARACTERIZING FORD!!!!!!!!!

Before we begin, everyone is entitled to their opinion. If you really think Ford wouldn't truly care, you do you.

That being said, I feel like people who claim that Ford wouldn't do a single thing to bring Stan back if their places were switched do not understand his character at all.

Don't get me wrong, I don't think that he would open the portal. At least not right away. The one thing I agree with is that Ford wouldn't put the life of his brother above the whole planet like Stan did. He realizes the threat of the portal and Bill too much to do that.

But have people forgotten that Ford also loves his brother? Yeah, he was angry, bitter and resentful, but he wouldn't have just let Stan die in the multiverse. Especially since that would be entirely his fault he got stuck there in the first place.

For people thinking, "But Ford was too blinded by rage! He didn't care for Stan until after Weirdmaggedon!", have you seen the show? Have you read the journal? Through everything that happened, Ford kept a photo (tattered and worn, obviously taken out a lot) of him and his brother in his left, inner breast pocket which is the one closest to the heart. If that wasn't enough, for those who haven't read the journal, Ford kept reminiscing about and mentioning his brother before the portal incident. Even though those lines were often crossed out, it was obvious that at least unconsiously he had Stan in mind a lot. And at the end of the journal, it is written that he worked day and night, to the point of passing out, to bring Stan's memories (and essencially Stan himself) back. (Oh and have we forgotten about the absolutely shattered expression he had when he erased Stan's memories? You don't look like that for a person you don't deeply care about).

Still not enough to believe that Ford cared about Stan before Stan's sacrifice?

Let's talk about the fact that when Ford was at his lowest, that being paranoid, sleep deprived, tortured by Bill, drowned in guilt, and completely alone, he reached out to Stan? He says it himself, "I needed help, someone I could trust." After everything, he still trusted Stan to an extent and believed him to be his last hope. You don't give trust like that to people you truly hate.

Ford was self-absorbed and egocentric, but also hurt and betrayed. That feeling came from a misconception, but that doesn't make it any less valid. It is understandable that he acted towards Stan the way he did, with venom and bitterness. But we can be angry at people we love and still care for their well-being.

How I said earlier, I don't think Ford would really open the portal. He wouldn't risk the entire world for Stanley. But I do think he would do anything in his power to be able to bring Stan back safely. You cannot be telling me that he'd be able to live with the guilt and not do anything about it if he could. After all, in his head, it would be his fault. He got tricked by Bill, he built the portal, he made Stan come to him and showed him the portal and he wasn't able to let go of the journal and fought Stan for it. I'm convinced he'd still throw some blame at Stan for some of the fight to make himself feel better at first, but after some time he would just blame himself completely (the same way I think Stan did with the science fair incident). The guilt for all of that would eat him alive.

Let's not forget, Stanley worked for 30 years, basically half his life to bring Stanford home and I believe Ford would be willing to do the same. He would just go about it differently. He would either try to get rid of the threat of Bill and then be willing to upgrade the portal and turn it on again, or maybe try to find a completely different way to get Stan back from the multiverse, or in the end something entirely different, I'm not fully sure.

What I am sure of is that Ford wouldn't just let Stan be stranded in the multiverse without doing absolutely nothing. Maybe he wouldn't succeed, maybe Stan would actually have to find his own way back home because Stanford wouldn't be able to find a solution without risking their entire universe. But Ford would at least try, give it his all, because despite everything, he still loves his brother. Differently than Stan loves him, because Ford is a different person than Stan, but he still does.

So I beg you, people. Stop taking Ford's complex character from him. He can be a selfish, self-centered asshole, but he's not heartless.

[joicecubes]

been thinking about the ways fiddleford and stan would force each other to take care of themselves. like, in the days they would hypothetically spend working together to try and get ford back.

fiddleford, being both a scientist and tirelessly devoted to ford, is probably a massive workaholic. he forgets to eat, forgets to drink water, complains about a “poundin’ headache” and ponders out loud what kind of pill he should take to tide it over until he can finish what he’s working on. stan, also terrible at taking care of himself but with a few working brain cells he uses for something OTHER than complex math equations, is the one who asks him when the last time was that he drank water instead of coffee. and it’s only then that fiddleford is bullied into taking a brain break. stan threatens to rip up his papers if he doesn’t go down a glass of water right now and fiddleford would rather die than see stan follow through on that promise. even though he would never. they’re both too committed to their mission. but truthfully, its the thought that counts, and fiddleford breaks past his brain fog with that first sip of water while smiling into his glass.

similarly, stan isn’t really used to having food and a roof over his head, much less a constant supply of running water. the guy probably forgets to shower, that or he just feels too hopeless to care. not to mention the way his hair has grown out so much that he struggles to take care of it, to brush it, to wash it. i wonder if it would be fiddleford in this timeline who first cuts his hair to get that matted mullet off his neck. and i wonder if stan finds himself close to tears when that weight’s off his shoulders. maybe fiddleford would help wash the remainder, and stan would joke about feeling like he’s in some old barbershop for the first time since he was a teenager. its hard to joke after that, when he gets choked up with the tragedy and intimacy of it all, but the silence is ambience enough for fiddleford to finish shampooing. and he tells him afterwards that he looks like a new man.

[crystalandrose]

Bill breaks out of theraprism and unleashes all the alt. reality pines kids that are desperate to replace the once that lived, but Also this includes Evil!Ford, which- excited to see bill is alive in this reality when bill died in his- makes a deal with bill and now its possessed evil ford vs canon ford and both think the other is an idiot that threw away their chance at true happiness/fulfillment.

(More ideas on this below)

Evil Ford thinks that Canon Ford is stupid because he 1) spent so much time in the portal and wasted most of his time (if he was gonna go against bill, why also push everyone else away, all his other relationships were worsened cause of bill so why go against him if hes already suffering consequences) 2) threw away a chance to be happy AND be recognized for his talents/heroism/etc.

Canon Ford thinks Evil Ford is stupid because 1) cannot fathom a world where he is happy with what Bill's plan was 2) Doesn't think Bill genuinely cares about him, is just using him.

"Can't you tell, you're being used!"

"What's so wrong with feeling- no- BEING useful?" *continues fighting*

An issue is that 1) people cant tell the two apart enough visually when not possessed and 2) mabel/dipper/others feel bad about beating up a guy that looks just like their uncle. Stan, not so much.

I also thought itd be interesting if Bill and Evil Ford are so in-sync that their voices both speak at times when Bill is possessing him (similar to how certain fusions in SU overlay voices, would also have similar lines like "It feels so great to be back!"). They may be evil- but they have a more stable relationship so maybe possession is more of an equal control deal.

Along with the regular journals, Evil!Ford has a golden journal with an eye on the cover that he always holds close. Its cursed so only Ford's eyes can read it (this includes canon ford!) and inside it has details about cipher, communications between the two, and more personal diary-type entries. While Evil Ford still had Bill in his mind (in his universe bill still "died" after/before/during weirdmaggedon) so they could communicate that way, Ford still let Bill take over while he slept sometimes (so that he could get more work done) and Bill would spend time looking at other realities (explaining his absences). So the book was a way to jot down communications without forgetting. So Canon ford gets his hands on it somehow (maybe they imprisoned evil ford in order to trap bill or something) and is reading trying to find a way to get leverage with Evil Ford but its like a teenage girls diary or like a note being passed in forth and its just a bunch of flirting 💀.

(An idea I had is Evil Ford put something in the book saying "to allow other eyes to see, recite this aloud" and ford- sleep deprived staying up trying to find answers in the book- gives in and recites it so others can help. But upon reading it a glitter explosion happens and the words "LOL YOU THOUGHT STEALING MY EYES WOULD WORK?" either pop up or are said. Evil ford in the cell laughs and said that was a trap for eye-thieves and he never even thought alternate fords eyes would be a problem.)

Last thing: Given that the canon universe is the only one where Dipper and Mabel survived maybe?, Evil Ford's Dipper and Mabel died while Ford was away. Evil Ford feels guilt, worrying if it was somehow his fault for not returning to GF sooner or prioritizing protecting his family (he believes/did make a deal with Bill that his family would be spared). So when he sees the Canon twins, he stumbles and stutters a bit in his resolve. He can't bring himself to go against them, only when he is possessed by Bill is his body able to not hold punches. (Maybe canon bill and evil ford's bill are a bit different, and during possession evil ford realizes this and is worried).

[mariistaa24]

oh lord they make me ill (don't mind bill he's just being silly) ALSO 2 POSTS IN 1 DAY??? saturdays are awesome man BTW THE @ IN THE DRAWING IS MY TWITTER!!!! side note anyone who unironically calls twitter X dni /j -- LORE -- fiddleford and emma-may were arranged years ago and have lived together in a lavender marriage. they are on good terms. stan is bisexual and ford is gay. fiddleford went up to gravity falls where he and ford fell in love and happily worked on the portal together. however, ford's growing obsession with bill and violent tendencies whenever he was posessed put a heavy strain on their relationship. eventually, after the whole portal incident with fiddleford, they got into a huge fight and fell out. fiddleford is too ashamed to go back to his wife and son empty handed because he was the breadmaker and emma-may was probably struggling financially without him around. (they both work btw it's just that fidds makes more money) so he began to keep a journal /j traumatized from what he saw in the portal he invented the memory gun, which, while succeeding in erasing his memory of the event, also caused him to completely forget the fallout. he wandered back to ford's house thinking nothing happened and met stan, initially very confused as to why and how ford had magically sprouted a mullet and was dressed like a hobo. obviously they clear things up and stan explains what happened to ford. fiddleford, having forgot all the awful things ford did to him, is still totally head over heels and is devastated hearing that he's gone. over the course of a few months or so, stan falls in love with fiddleford, and is way more guilty about it than ford was (because stan has a way bigger appreciation for family and feels awful being a homewrecker and ALSO this is his first time falling in love with a man so that's a whole other story with his upbringing and morals being questioned blah blah blah). fiddleford on the other hand is grieving the loss of his bf HARD. and it's even worse having to see his face every day but none of the things that truly made him him. but when stan finally told fiddleford how he felt...? god, he couldn't tell you what came over him. fiddleford could have sworn it was just like the first time he and ford had kissed. he was left panting, gasping for air while the latter gently caressed his face with broad, calloused hands. he felt guilty, telling stan he felt the same when his heart was still so set on his twin, but... he'd never know, right? wrong. stan was a con man. of course he could sniff out lies like a dog. and the worst part? he couldn't even blame fiddleford. after all, his brother was the better twin. he was smarter, more successful, and loved more than he could imagine. he was just a dumb, good-for-nothing loser. that was fine. it was a truth he'd come to terms with a long, long time ago. but through it all, he couldn't stop the tears that pricked his eyes while they shared that kiss. and he swallowed the words that tried to bubble up as he pulled away. "i know who you pretend i am."

[pix-writes]

For the NSFW requests; what kinks do Stan and Ford have? 👀

👀 I've got you, anon 😉

18+ under cut, minors DNI

Stanford:

Edging - likes to experiment with it to see how far he can go, what are the limits of his patience? He's working out his self control like he's stretching out a muscle. And with you as well, how far can you stand to be teased? Knows it's worth it for the intensity of the orgasm(s) when he finally gives you what you both want. Likes the sense of control he gets from it too!

Biting - likes when you bite into him when you get close/overstimulated/want to keep quiet, makes his feral side come out, wants to mark you too as he nips and nibbles at your skin, all over. A darker, protective (*cough* possessive*cough*) part of him enjoys seeing the hickeys and marks he leaves on your skin. Ford has a lot of scars and other unwanted traces on his body (laser tattoo removal can only do so much), so he feels so loved when you leave marks on him.

Temperature/nipple play - warm wax (and ice) on his body gives a contrast of overstimulating sensations that feels nice to him, have no idea of how or when/if he finds this out though, perhaps it's a way for him to feel light pain in a good way? Likes when you pay attention to his nipples too as they're sensitive.

Clothed sex/dry humping - (kind of goes with the kink below) actually really turned on by dry humping, gets incredibly flustered even though neither of you have taken anything off yet.

Tights - idk why it just seems right to me. Ford loves how the fabric feels and how it smooths over your skin. Maybe he's always been attracted to how they look on people in the past, but it's not until you are grinding against him fully clothed that it really awakens! The silky feeling of your tights on his cock, the thin layer between him and your heat has him staining them with his pre cum. (EDIT: tights aka pantyhose or stockings, I always forget Americans have a different name for them sorry)

Praise - will praise you a lot but he likes it back the other way, I hc Ford is a perfect switch, so whether he's taking the lead or not likes to know he's doing well, has been starved of affection for so long so praise helps him to know he's doing good.

Stanley:

Restraints - here's the thing, Stan's been put in cuffs enough times to hate it, but he's also quite adept at getting out of them (as long as it's a situation where he can of course), he figures that he wouldn't hate it as much if his pretty partner is the one to do it to him 😏 ya know? Though most of the time, it makes him feel a bit too helpless/claustrophobic, but he'll tie you up or put you in cuffs any time (he always has them nearby), gets him going because he gets to tease the hell out of you and you can't do anything about it! (I have a hunch that he's a teensy bit of a brat tamer) Spanking is another he likes too, in theory more than practice, because he may be game for a lot of things but doesn't want to hurt you, feels conflicted about it. Kind of loves it when you give him a firm slap to his behind, as long as he knows you're going to do it (he's hypervigilant), likes when you say nice things about his ass.

Primal play - doesn't know that it's called that but there's something in the playfulness of chasing each other around the house etc., that does it for him in a more serious way, likes to chase you more, though doesn't mind if he's the one on top or bottom, sometimes is nice when his partner is doing the work and he gets to lay back and enjoy the view.

Sir and begging- likes to be called sir (the fact that Alex said this on a stream is WILD, joking or not, and it's been burnt into my brain ever since!), never been really seen as a figure of respect and melts his brain a little to be treated reverently, likes when you beg it's basically praise for him for pleasuring you so well

Marking - likes to mark you but loves it even more if you leave some on him, he'll keep it there for others to see, he's a taken man now 🥴 - that's his expression after you've kissed him and left him with lipstick all over his face

Painted nails - doesn't have to be those fake nails really, he just likes to see them with some colour on them, thinks it's attractive, the way they look when you're placing your hands all over him and maybe scratching across his chest?

[darlingdaisyfarm]

⋆｡‧˚ʚ 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒊𝒓 𝒇𝒂𝒗𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒆 𝒑𝒍𝒂𝒄𝒆𝒔 𝒕𝒐 𝒌𝒊𝒔𝒔 𝒚𝒐𝒖 ɞ˚‧｡⋆

⸝⸝ 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒍𝒆𝒚, 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒅, 𝒃𝒊𝒍𝒍, 𝒇𝒊𝒅𝒅𝒍𝒆𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒅 ⸝⸝

a/n: i was thinking about this for a while and just HAD to write it!! Bill's a little freaky but ok. everyone kisses differently and i love how much that says about them :) maybe i'll do a part two tho idk if it'll be smth nsfw or no. also sorry if photos are random i just think it suits gravity falls aesthetic plus i was out of ideas (i want summer)

𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒍𝒆𝒚

Stan’s got a thing for forehead kisses, always has, always will. they’re effortless and easy. a quick press of his lips when he passes by, a habit more than anything. he’s a busy man, always moving, always going somewhere, but that doesn’t mean he won’t grab you, tilt your head up and press a warm kiss right to your forehead

it's a way of saying “i gotcha” without actually saying it. doesn’t matter if he’s in a rush, grumbling about tourists, wiping down the counter. he’ll keep you safe. he swears it.

big, warm hands cupping your face. his lips are warm, his stubble scratches against your skin but the moment you start to melt he’s gone.

he pulls back, smirks, winking at you

“gotta give the tourists their money’s worth, sweetheart.” you hear his voice through the walls of the Mystery Shack, always so confident as he launches into his usual con. “step right up, folks! come see the eighth wonder of the world!”

but, oh, don’t let that fool you. he’s a tease, and he knows it.

he’s got another favorite, too

your neck

he makes a game of it. a teasing peck when he leans in to tell you something. a slow, tender kiss at the curve of your throat when he’s feeling particularly smug, when he’s got you pinned between him and the kitchen counter, when he knows you’re hanging on to every little touch.

“heh. what’s that face for, baby? didn’t think id be so smooth, huh?”

he’s a biter, too, making you shiver. he needs to feel the way you react beneath his hands. he likes knowing he can fluster you. likes leaving you breathless, just for him.

and if he’s feeling real bold, his lips might stray lower, making a slow, lazy path along your collarbone. “what? somethin’ wrong? i think I’m right where i wanna be.”

𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒅

Ford kisses like a man who’s spent most of his life not kissing anyone, like someone who’s read about it, thought about it, imagined it, but never quite gotten the chance. but when he feels the warmth, the closeness, how intimate it is he can’t stop.

he kisses your hands first, always. fingertips, knuckles, the inside of your wrist where your pulse flutters

your shoulders come next. he’ll press his lips there absently while he’s working, when you’re standing beside him reading over his notes. sometimes, he forgets himself, murmuring a distracted “mm, love you” against your skin before his smart brain catches up with his mouth. and oh the way his ears burn when you point it out

also when he’s overwhelmed, when the world is too much, when his mind is too loud, he rests his forehead there, brushing his lips against the curve of your shoulder. he just wants to feel you close

but when he’s really feeling it, when he’s past overthinking and just wants you, it's your calves. he kneels. Ford takes his time, hands so big, shaking a little as he presses his thumb into muscle while tracing a slow path from your ankle up, up, up with his lips

“you never let me appreciate you properly.” he worships you. lets you feel it in every single careful, thorough kiss.

𝒃𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒄𝒊𝒑𝒉𝒆𝒓

Bill isn’t bound by flesh, but he's bound by desire

he loves mirrors. loves floating there behind you, his golden triangle form looming over you, all-seeing eye staring right into your soul. oh he loves the way you shudder when you see yourself in the reflection, when you see him, wrapping around you

thousands of long, dark limbs curl around your waist, a hand-like thing at your jaw, tilting your head to the side, exposing your skin to him. Bill's mouth appears where his eye should be and oh, that tongue. . .

“nervous, sweet thing? don’t be. i’ll take real good care of ya.”

his tongue is long. obscenely so. it drags over your throat, a slow, hot stroke that sends a jolt straight through you. you hear him laugh delightfully against your skin, because he knows exactly what he’s doing

“aww who’s my favorite little human, huh? who’s my delicious little slab of meat?”

kiss after kiss, mark after mark, he makes you watch. makes you see the way he devours you.

and he doesn’t stop at your neck, oh no, no, no. he follows your spine. mouth pressing open. dragging his long tongue against the curve of your back, your chest, your stomach

“every inch of you is mine. dont you forget that.”

𝒇𝒊𝒅𝒅𝒍𝒆𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝒎𝒄𝒈𝒖𝒄𝒌𝒆𝒕

Fidds kisses every part of you that makes him smile.

“well, ain’t you the cutest lil’ thing!”

your cheeks. he just can’t help himself, he sees your face and boom! instant smooch. one cheek, then the other, peppering you with quick, excited little kisses

he giggles into kisses. always, always grinning. pecks to your cheek when he’s working, smooches to your temple when you bring him a snack, laughter between every single kiss because he can’t believe his luck.

“gotcha! hehehe, ya oughta see the look on yer face!”

your nose is next. he thinks it’s adorable. boop. peck. boop. peck

“who’s the cutest thing in the whole dang world? ohhhh, that’s right, it’s you!”

sometimes he’s so excited he forgets to aim and accidentally bumps his nose against yours, which only makes him laugh more

but the most special place, the sweetest is your eyelids.

he does it when you’re falling asleep, when you’re curling against him, feeling safe and warm. a press of lips to your closed eyes, so feather-light

“rest easy, darlin’. im right here.” and if he wakes up before you, if the morning sun is spilling golden across your skin, he does it again

because he loves you. because he just can’t help it

[dark-lord-of-awesomeness]

What if Stan was cursed to be his shadow?

Like, his own shadow? Is his body still there? Or is he just a shadow himself, lost and bodyless?

This got Long. Whoops?

For the first one I'm thinking his soul got shunted into the Shadow Realm somehow and now he's possessing his own shadow. He's stuck, can't get too far from his own lifeless body and no one can hear him. Probably gets picked up and taken to a hospital, and then ID'd or someone finds Fords number on him and Ford shows up, totally in denial of it either being Stan or Stan's faking it for attention. Then Shadow!Stan is frozen, both wanting to try and get Fords attention and also 'oh no, Fords here, seeing me like this.'

Ford gets Stan moved closer, or even finds a way to get him care at his house (not sure how that works, as I've not had a relative in a coma, but knowing Ford he might straight up 'kidnap' (its not kidnapping! I'm taking him home! He's my brother!) Stan if the hospital doesn't let him take Stan. Very fakely goes 'oh no Stan's missing :/ dang and everyone Knows but no one cares about one vagrent enough to really push it.) Gets Stan's car (if possible) then tries to Fix Stan.

Ford can Fix him, he's a genius! How hard can a medical degree be, really? He'll just get one, take a look at Stan, fix him, and then yell at him for getting himself into this kind of trouble. In the meantime he'll just use some magic remides and-

Ah. Stan's soul is missing. Hmm. Thats a Problem.

Meanwhile Stan's just. Chillin. He can't really go a certain distance from his body and he's a little scared to test that connection. He's got a shape right now, but what if he pushes it and disconects from his body? Will he fall apart? Will he get lost? He got cursed for maybe being a 'shadow of society' or some nonsense or maybe touched something he really shouldn't have and now he's stuck in a room in his estranged brothers house. All he gets is whirlwind moments of Ford bursting in, waving a bunch of machines or sticks over Stan, writing things down, then right back out again. He has no idea what Fords doing but he's so focused on it he hasn't realized the shadow guy trying to get his attention.

I imagine this ends the moment Ford does his first Questionable ritual and gets interrupted by a shadow guy silently yelling/trying to disrupt the ritual the best he can with his shadow hands (which does nothing really, he can't touch things after all.) Stan has no idea what Fords doing but he doesn't like this weird blood(?) ritual or that his body's in the middle of it.

Then its a game of charades/threaten the shadow guy until Ford understand that the shadow is Stan and he's stuck/trapped/cursed in some way and has been there the whole time. Does some magic to get his soul back out and into his body where Stan immediately bursts into tears because he can touch things again and has an actual body that makes noise. Both pretend its just a side affect while Fords lecture gets sidetracked with comforting his poor bro who's been a shadow for potentially months.

Now if he doesn't have a body?

Then he's in shadow limbo. No one can hear him, people wave him away as the light playing tricks on them. his body is starting to forget what it looks like the longer he's a shadow, becoming more and more formless the longer he's like this, and he's jumping from shadow to shadow to try and prevent it as long as possible.

Makes his way to Gravity Falls following his car that got picked up by Carla? what? He's chilling in the cars shadow, or Carla's, then gets the surprise of a lifetime when she drops his car off at Fords and moves in.

Then the enemy of a lifetime in Bill, who they can't see each other in the same plane, but Stan can see Bill's shadow and interact with it, while Bill's seeing this shadow thing (demon?) burst into his scene and is starting fights with him. Funniest option Stan can touch Bill through his shadow, but Bill can't do the same, so he has to be careful with what he's doing or else this annoying shadow will jump him and throw him like a frisbe.

So now he's sort of haunting Fords house, somewhat formless and beating up this other creepy shadow thats lurking around. At some point someones(fiddleford) gonna notice the shadows moving around, and Fiddlefords gonna freak, especially as Stan uses his time to torment the poor guy with his shadowy form from pure boredom, then because its funny when he makes Fiddleford look crazy for a while until someone else sees him and the games up.

Through a series of shenanigans they concinve themselves Stan's some kind of shadow demon, get a whole defense thing set up, Fords chanting some anti-demon thing, the shadows grow darker, hands creep into the light, they pass the barrier! Fiddlefords screaming, Fords yelling about how he doesn't understand how its not working! The shadows get closer! They reach out and-!

Do nothing. Stan can't touch people, but he can twist the shadows into a visible mockery of them all freaking out about him. He's laughing his ass off about it, pointing his blurry arm and doing shadow puppets of them screaming. Its the most fun he's had in months, and Fiddleford is trying to strangle a shadow while it sticks its tongue out at him then jumps into Fords shadow and reinacts Fords freakout.

For max angst this happens post Shifty, so Fords somewhat aware that something Might (MIGHT!) be up with Stan, but is still in denial. This is important, because when they start grilling the shadow on how long its been lurking around Stan will pantomime that he came with Carla and has been hanging around for months, trying to get someones attention. I'm thinking Stan couldn't manipulate shadows as well at the start, and messing with Fiddleford has also helped him improve. Well now he has their attention, but he doesn't know how to say he's Stan and also he's over heard Fords whole thing.

So now that the funs ended he just sorta, disappears. To them at least, he's still lurking around, but not really sure what to do with himself or how to ask for help or what.

I think the funniest option is that Stan gets that choice taken out of his hands when Ford, local magic and anomoly expert, realizes the annoying shadow still here and figures out a way to interact with it to make it go away. He's trying to work! Gets the gang together to sort of lull it into a false sense of security, get it to reveal itself, then uses some magic spell or artifact to pull Stan out of the shadows. For a normal shadow anomaly Ford would just be holding physical shadows, but because Stan's actually a guy trapped he just pulls Stan straight out of the darkness.

Lots of surprise all around, especially when Stan starts hyperventilating from his senses being assaulted and actually making noise and breathing and all that. He hasn't touched anything in months and he's melting into Fords grip and the floor and oh god he has permanent arms again and isn't becoming a blob. Meanwhile Fords staring at Stan in shock, trying to comprehend that Stan's been in his house the whole time and chose to mess with Fiddleford? Actually that sounds right, but is also extremely annoying.

For extra angst Ford can't let go or Stan goes back into the Shadow realm, so now he has to fix Stan while holding his hand the whole time.

Anyway thats what I got :)