#also if we're deep in the tags and confessing things...

[ohbo-ohno]

y'know originally i had a big "yay i finished my exchange fic!!" post planned but it's literally an entire week late soo. that feels a little pathetic at this point el oh el

that being said - i finished my exchange fic! i have absolutely no control over when it will be posted, but i'll make sure to put it here when it is!

please please please go follow the deadcoddoves twitter account if you're at all interested in this exchange, they'll be posting about everyone else's fics too!!!

[kiwriteswords]

Where the Wildflowers Grow [Aaron Hotchner x Florist!Reader]

Florist!Reader Masterlist|| Main Masterlist [I need to update this, sorry!]|| Ao3||Word Count: 2.6k|| AN:  My crazy week is over--I have missed my Hotch x Florist Universe!! We're so back, baby! Tags/Warnings:  confessions of love, first 'i love you', reader is a little pessimistic, angst (if you squint), canon-typical themes, Female!Reader, Florist!Reader, Non-BAU!Reader, pre-relationship, pre-established relationship, Sassy!Reader, Flirty!Reader, Aaron Hotchner loves to love, 'Just because'!Aaron Hotchner, Simp!Hotch Summary: As a florist, you've seen a lot of negative occasions for flowers. You've become quite cynical about love, quite honestly. Aaron Hotchner is seemingly changing that.

You were elbow-deep in hydrangeas when the bride canceled.

“Sorry,” she’d said on the phone, voice hollow and embarrassed. “The wedding’s off. He…well. It doesn’t matter.”

You could only read between the lines. A tale as old as time. Something you’d heard a thousand times once over. Maybe he had a wandering eye for her best friend. Or maybe there was a secret family, like the bride who cancelled years ago who’s deposit was on twelve dozen cala lillies.

It did matter.

It always mattered.

You offered the polite condolences you were supposed to. Told her you understood. You always did.

You hung up, leaned against the counter, and let your head fall into your hands. It was barely noon, and already you’d:

Arranged three casket sprays.

Witnessed your regular Tuesday customer order a third round of “I’m sorry I cheated” carnations--soooo tacky.

Had a grown man throw a tantrum over “too many filler greens.”

And now, lost an $800 order you’d already started prepping.

This was the part people didn’t see.

The underbelly of beauty.

You loved your work--

Truly.

But there were days when the petals felt heavy.

When it was hard not to see flowers as bandages.

Temporary distractions over bruised apologies and broken promises.

And as much as you wanted to believe in happy endings…

You did. You were also surrounded by happy endings, but somehow the weight of death and heartbreak seeped into each day. It was hard to wrap a bow around a congratulatory bouquet when the next order slip is one for, “I’m sorry you lost your job.” 

Some days made it harder than others.

The bell over the door jingled.

You didn’t even lift your head.

“We’re closed for emotional collapse,” you muttered, crumpling up the order slip and tossing it into the waste bin. 

There was a pause.

Then: 

“That bad, huh?”

Your eyes flicked up.

And there he was.

Hotch.

Still in his suit. Tie loosened, coat folded over one arm. A brown paper bag in one hand. And in the other?

A crumpled fistful of wildflowers.

Wrapped haphazardly in newspaper.

Dandelions. Queen Anne’s lace. A few purple blooms you didn’t even have a name for. 

All wrapped in the front page news. Black and white and read all over. 

He held them out, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Picked these on my lunch break.”

You stared.

Then blinked.

Brain sort of…malfunctioning. Trying to picture him, suit and tie and all business on the side of the road picking weeds. Beautiful weeds. Wildflowers of sorts. 

Then let out a laugh--a real, startled, exhausted laugh--as you wiped your hands on your apron and stepped forward.

“You brought me weeds?”

“They reminded me of you.”

You raised an eyebrow.

“Resilient,” he clarified. “A little wild. Hard to overlook.” He gave you a smile one that made your belly warm and your pulse quicken, “Saw them on my drive after grabbing your favorite for lunch and had to stop.” 

Your chest ached.

God. This man.

This. Man. 

You took the bouquet from him gently, handling it like something sacred. There was dirt still clinging to some of the stems. One bloom was missing half its petals. They smelled like grass and heat and summer air.

The newspaper wrapped around it with good news for once. A headline that wrote, “Miracles do Happen,” written in bold font. 

Huh, the irony. You looked at the bouquet, a tiny red lady bug crawled from one of the leaves. 

It was the most beautiful thing anyone had brought you all week.

Maybe ever.

Day in and day out, you’d receive deliveries of traditional roses, carnations, and baby’s breath. Every now and then you’d buy Protea and watch as it sat on the shelf in your cooler, begging to be picked by a patron, but always ending up wilting and eventually in the garbage. 

It was the different--rare--flowers that went unappreciated. 

As if people didn’t know how to hold them--

To arrange them. 

“You trying to get out of the doghouse?” you teased, placing them in a glass jar by the register.

“Didn’t know I was in it.”

You looked at him, really looked--he was tired too. You saw it in the corners of his eyes. The tight set of his jaw. But he was here.

With you.

“Then what’s this?” you asked softly, gesturing to the flowers.

He shrugged, setting the lunch bag on the counter. “You popped into my head.”

“And?”

“And I didn’t want to wait until I had a reason.”

You said nothing.

Just stood there, your fingers loosely gripping the counter, as something cracked open in your chest.

No one had ever brought you flowers just because.

No apology. No ask. No occasion.

Just you.

Existing.

Being loved, even if he hadn’t said the words yet.

He pulled out the sandwiches--your favorite--and passed you one without asking

You sat together at the back table, half the shop still a mess, your hands still stained with chlorophyll. He didn’t comment on the smudge on your cheek. You didn’t ask about the cut on his knuckle.

You just...sat.

Shared food.

Soft glances.

Easy silences.

At one point, you glanced at the jar of wildflowers catching the afternoon light, and something warm and terrifying moved through your chest.

What if he was different?

What if this didn’t burn out after the shine wore off?

What if this was what it looked like--

Love.

Before either of you were brave enough to say it out loud?

But it was the little things with dating Hotch that was different. The things that didn’t need to be said out loud. 

The date cancellation didn’t bother you.

Truly.

Hotch had called that morning, voice heavy with apology, telling you that a case had just come in--out of state, high priority. Jet was already being fueled. You barely had time to say, “Stay safe,” before the line went dead.

You got it. You really did.

You had weddings where the bride changed the color scheme three hours before setup. You had grieving families who wanted the casket spray to be perfect with no time left on the clock. You’d dropped everything more times than you could count.

So no, you weren’t upset.

You understood.

More than understood. This is what you signed up for and were completely okay with it. This is why…this is why you were falling for this man. His dedication. His drive. 

Still, it had been one of those days where everything felt just a little off. Customers were short. A shipment came in late. The flower fridge started humming too loud. Even your favorite floral shears kept disappearing on you.

You were wiping your hands on your apron when the tablet by the register dinged.

New online order.

You moved to check it without thinking, eyes skimming the screen.

Sunflowers.

Simple arrangement.

Delivery to: Your Shop (ATTN: You).

Paid in full.

Customer Note: I know you’ll probably have to arrange these yourself (unless you want someone else to), but I saw a vase of them in the hotel lobby and thought of you. Couldn’t bring myself to order them from another shop. Sorry again for tonight. Wish I was there. – Aaron

You blinked.

Once.

Twice.

Then you let out the tiniest, stunned laugh.

Because of course he did.

Of course Aaron Hotchner submitted a paid order to your own flower shop, just to make you feel seen.

You stood there, rereading the note three times, feeling your throat tighten.

This man.

He wasn’t just a good partner. He wasn’t just thoughtful.

He was…real.

He meant things.

You’d seen men do far worse with far less remorse. You’d made arrangements for the same man three times in a month, once for his wife, once for his girlfriend, once for “a friend from work.” You knew exactly how little some men were willing to give.

But Hotch?

He paid you to send yourself flowers.

Just so you’d feel thought of.

You picked up your phone without even thinking.

He answered on the second ring. Ever the professional, Hotchner,” he said, his voice lower, quieter than usual. You could hear background chatter. Hotel hallway. Maybe the jet.

“You,” you said, not bothering to greet him. “You placed a paid order at my shop?”

“…Is that a problem?” He sounded slightly unsure of himself. It was quite amusing to picture a man as big and worldly as Hotch seem hesitant or questioning of himself. 

You let out a short laugh, one hand braced on your hip, warmth blooming in your chest despite yourself. You looked over to the bucket of fresh trimmed sunflowers beaming up at you. 

“No, it’s--no, it’s not a problem, it’s just--” You sighed. “Aaron, you could’ve just called. Or texted. You didn’t have to pay for anything.”

“I wanted to.” Simple. Like it was obvious. 

You rolled your eyes, but your smile gave you away. “You’re ridiculous.”

“I didn’t want you to think I forgot.” Again, here was the man who seemed and sounded nervous. As if he was grasping onto you. Afraid you might leave. 

“I never thought that.”

“I know,” he said, softer now. “But I thought…maybe if you saw them, it would feel like I was still showing up.”

You didn’t speak for a second.

You were afraid your voice might give you away.

So you cleared your throat and leaned back against the counter, eyes drifting to the still-unmade sunflower arrangement sitting in the back of the shop. Waiting.

You said, quietly, “They’re beautiful. Just the idea of them. Thank you.”

He exhaled, a sound that bordered on relief. “I hate missing time with you.”

“I know. But you don’t have to prove anything. I’m not keeping score.”

“You should be,” he said. Almost like a warning for what was to come. Something you knew already. “I’d lose.”

That made you laugh again, and God, you needed that. That warmth. That certainty. That ease.

There was a pause--

One of those quiet, meaningful ones that stretched like a bridge between people who were afraid to step too far.

You could hear the words sitting there.

Waiting.

But instead of saying them, you said, “I’ve got a brand new pair of jeans I can’t wait to wear out with you when you get back.”

Deflect. What you know best! 

Hotch chuckled, low and warm. “That might actually kill me.”

“Good,” you said. “I like having that power.”

“You always have.”

Another beat of silence.

You could hear it in his breath. You were sure he could hear it in yours.

That almost-love humming between you.

You smiled softly. “Come back to me soon.”

“I will.”

You didn’t say I love you.

He didn’t either.

But God, you could feel it.

And it was more than enough.

For now.

This almost-love was blooming so wildly in your chest now every waking moment you saw him. From the sun staining his cheek in the morning hours of your apartment to the sweet texts you would get back from him (despite his poor texting skills). 

You’d almost said it dozens of times.

When he brought you coffee just the way you liked it, scribbled with your name in his messy FBI handwriting.

When you caught him watching you in your shop like you were made of sunlight and not soil and flower petals.

When he fixed a broken hinge on your cooler door without being asked.

When he’d kissed you under a thunderstorm, one hand in your hair, the other on your cheek, like he was trying to memorize the shape of you.

You’d almost said it--

But didn’t.

And he almost had too.

You felt it when he lingered in your doorway a second too long.

 When his thumb traced your jaw like it was fragile.

When his voice caught on a soft “Be safe,” as you headed into another busy day.

When he looked at you like you were more permanent than his job, than the jet, than the danger that lived in his orbit.

You didn’t need the words to know.

But you wanted them.

You wanted him to have them.

To hear them.

To feel them, unfiltered and undiluted, before anything could take the chance away.

So when your phone rang that day--late afternoon, with the shop smelling of eucalyptus and lemon balm, a soft storm tapping against the windows--you didn’t expect it.

You didn’t expect his voice.

Didn’t expect how wrecked it sounded.

“Hey,” you said softly, automatically smiling as you wiped your hands on your apron. “Shouldn’t you be haalfway through an interrogation right now?”

There was a pause.

A too-long one.

Then his voice came through--

Tight, raw. 

Shaken.

“Something went wrong.”

You froze.

“What do you mean?”

“The case. It got…bad.”

Your stomach dropped.

You weren’t used to this.

Your job didn’t come with guns and unsubs and tactical gear. You dealt in blooms and beauty and people on the brink of celebration or grief.

Not danger.

But this? This was his world. And now, you could hear it in his voice.

Shaking.

“I’m okay,” he rushed out, as if he was saying it to himself as well. “I’m okay. I swear. But I--God, I needed to call you.”

You leaned hard into the counter, heart racing. “Aaron, what happened?”

“There was a house. A hostage situation. We thought we had the perimeter clear but--we didn’t. It was close. Too close.”

Your fingers curled around the edge of the table. You could feel your breath catch.

“They’re fine. We’re fine,” he continued, like he needed to say it aloud to believe it. “But I was pinned for a second and I couldn’t reach my comms and I thought--just for a second--”

He went quiet.

You closed your eyes, trying to breathe through the panic threading into your ribs. All of the mess around you--

The flowers, the orders, the stack of to-do’s seemingly melted away. 

“I thought about Jack,” he said quietly. “And I thought about the team.”

Another pause.

Then his voice dropped--

Lower, hoarser. 

Vulnerable in a way you’d never heard.

“And then I thought about you.”

Your throat tightened.

“About how I hadn’t told you yet.”

You blinked, unsure if you’d heard him right.

“Told me what?”

He exhaled, a shaky sound on the other end of the line.

“That I love you.”

You didn’t breathe.

He kept going, like he had to get the words out now or lose them forever.

“I should’ve said it sooner. I should’ve said it a hundred times already. But today, when I thought--”

He cut off, jaw clenched audibly even through the phone.

“I love you,” he repeated, like it was the only thing keeping him grounded. Like he’d been preparing his whole life how to say it.  “I don’t want to wait for perfect moments or good timing or whatever stupid rule I thought I was following.”

You stood still in the middle of your shop, surrounded by flowers and petals and a hundred unsaid things--

And whispered, “I love you too.”

It came out broken. Bare. But so full of truth you could feel it in your bones.

The other end of the line went silent for a beat.

Then he exhaled--

Like he’d been holding his breath for weeks.

“You do?”

You let out a shaky laugh, brushing tears from your cheek.

“I think I’ve been loving you since the day you showed up with wildflowers wrapped in newspaper.”

Another pause.

Then, softly, “I think I started the first time I walked into your shop and forgot how to breathe.”

You smiled, teary, heart pounding like it finally had permission to.

“I wish I could see you right now.”

“I’ll be home tomorrow,” he said. “I’ll come to the shop.”

“You better,” you whispered.

Because suddenly, everything you wanted was on the other side of that door.

And this time, you weren’t going to let love stay unsaid.

Tag List: @zaddyhotch @estragos @todorokishoe24 @looking1016  @khxna @rousethemouse @averyhotchner @reidfile @bernelflo @lover-of-books-and-tea @frickin-bats @sleepysongbirdsings @justyourusualash @person-005 @iyskgd @hiireadstuff @kcch-ns @alexxavicry @Sweethotchlogy @softtdaisy @stilestotherescue @midnghtprentiss @thebestqueenoftheworld @Bookaddictlatina  @superlegend216

[rebelliousneferut]

fan frenzy | jude bellingham

summary; when jude's fangirls from borussia dortmund don't love you but things change with your move to madrid

genre; angst, smau

face claim; kaaviya sambasivam

note; English is not my first language

masterlist!

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

yourusername

liked by judebellingham, jobebellingham, username and others

yourusername date night 🌉✨

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username can someone explain to me why is jude dating with her??

username jude is too much for her

username he doesn't even pay attention to her, she's always the one who looks desperate

username he needs someone prettier

username fr

username i wait for the day he opens his eyes

swallowing the bile rising in my throat, I scrolled through the comments on my latest photo. the negativity was a suffocating wave, a stark contrast to the joy we shared in the picture.

dating jude bellingham was a whirlwind from the start. we met in dortmund, sparks flying despite our initial clashes. over time, that spark evolved into a love as powerful and exhilarating as his world-class strikes. jude, with his kind heart and dazzling smile, was a revelation. despite his young age and rising fame, his patience and unwavering affection showed me a love i never thought possible.

living the dream alongside the man i adored shouldn't have come with a price tag. but jude, besides being a phenomenal footballer, also boasted a massive, and sometimes harsh, fanbase. the adoration soon turned towards me, morphing into a relentless stream of negativity. hateful messages, fueled by envy, became a daily torment. i shielded jude, who was blissfully unaware thanks to his social media inactivity. but the constant barrage chipped away at my self-esteem, leaving me questioning every aspect of myself and our relationship.

jude's future was bright, and i convinced myself i was letting him down by being a target. so, with a voice thick with emotion, i began, "jude, i think we should take some time."

his hand shot out, his touch warm against mine. "why do you say that?" he pleaded, his eyes filled with a concern that mirrored my own. "is this about the move? because if it is, we can talk about it. we'll figure it out together, like always."

i shook my head, tears welling up. "it's everything, jude. all the hate, the negativity... i can't take it anymore. i don't want to be the reason you're attacked."

jude's brow furrowed, his expression a mix of determination and tenderness. "who cares what they say? they don't know us, y/n. they don't know the way you light up a room with your smile, or the fire you ignite in my heart. you are strong, kind, and more beautiful than any comment could ever diminish."

he cupped my face in his hands, his touch wiping away a stray tear. "you are the woman i love, the thought of facing anything without you is..." his voice trailed off, his eyes searching mine.

taking a deep breath, i confessed, "the comments... they make me doubt myself, jude. they make me doubt us."

jude's jaw clenched for a moment, then softened. he pulled me into a tight embrace, the warmth of his body a familiar comfort. "we'll face it together," he murmured against my hair. "we'll show them what true love looks like. and if they can't see it, then their opinion doesn't matter. all that matters is you and me."

and i decided to trust him.

"maybe a fresh start in spain would be better," i thought. "maybe they won't hate me there."

the following day, the world woke up to a new post on jude's social media – a photo of us, radiating pure joy.

judebellingham

liked by yourusername, jobebellingham, footballwags and others

judebellingham my rock, my confidante, my love, my y/n. to anyone who has anything negative to say, save your breath. we're happy, and that's all that matters.

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yourusername i love you so much 🥺❤️

❤️ liked by the author

judebellingham i love you more than words can express

username i never understood the hatred towards her, she is beautiful and they make a nice couple

username madrid welcomes you with open arms 🫶🏽

username she makes jude happy and that's all that matters

username i still don't like her

username touch grass

the response was a wave of positivity, drowning out the negativity. the spanish fans, known for their passion, embraced me with open arms. it wasn't an instant fix, but it was a start. jude, by my side, had become my shield, our love a beacon against the darkness. we were in this together, and together, we would face anything.

[lucabyte]

obligatory ramble about postcanon loop ask

also your art is amazing

Hiiiiiiiii :D thank you :)!!

and thank you for the excuse to post the. just absolute wall of text that i truncated down to form the tags of that post. (i did,,, hit the tag limit. i forgot tumblr had one of those...) so let me just paste that and tidy it up a bit...

I am putting this under a readmore because it's a bit long. but:

This is like. The General Context for all* of my postcanon doodles? (Except AUs obviously) Like this is the base idea I've been drawing them all in. So, feel free to backread with this in mind. I've basically had this 'postcanon' timeline set in my brain since finishing the game...

My general thoughts are that I like the idea of Loop (even if through dubiously ethical means) being able to slowly reintegrate with the party as a whole new person, because they are, in fact, their own person.

It's a muddle of thematic threads im pulling on and "wouldn't it be fucked up if", but. (at its core, it's powered by the fact that like, while narratively isat's theme of 'the only person who can truly take the first step to help you is yourself'. (wrt: loop helping the party help siffrin in act 5) which i LOVE AND IS GREAT NARRATIVELY…. would be super fucked up irl to learn that your friend 'learned as a lesson' while you stood by kinda uselessly. I know i'd be upset about it. but thats mostly background here. doesn't really come up. at least not until loop has to explain who they are and the party realises they had to fall back on literally themselves again for help, but i digress,)

The real core concept is: Occam's razor. It is like, inherently, a buckwild thing to accuse a person of being somehow a clone or copy of your friend. Even if they start vaguely alluding to a backstory it's far more likely they were some other person before all that. (I still think Odile has that theory in the back pocket but she's rational enough to know it's a really long shot without a solid explanation. and i think Loop deep down knows this, and would, if cornered into confessing, turn the situation around to go J'ACCUSE and make HER explain it instead. Ever longer dodging being direct with their emotions...)

And the party are nice! And if someone has changed and wants to keep stuff secret it's kind of not their business? (Though it's hard not to speculate… see: the main joke of the doodles) And they seem important to Siffrin so they just try to accept them abrasive quirks and all. And eventually the question of their prior identity just fades away since, well, they're Loop. Their friend Loop.

but yeah. personal headcanon is that a few months/weeks after picking up and getting aquainted with Nille** (since that was presumably the IMMEDIATE TASK postgame), Loop reappears (either after a literal period of nonexistance, or just spending a few months wandering the french countryside alone being attacked by wild dogs). Since Siffrin has had a while to be therapised by the party they're doing mostly okay, but Loop showing up and still being agitated/aggressive pulls them both into a bit of a backslide behaviourally and puts the party on the back foot again.

Hooowever, I do think that due to no longer being literally stewing in the worst pressure cooker of all time together, the two do mostly actually sort themselves out with productive conversation. (Via a cycle of: genuinely distressing argument -> weeeird lovebombing -> ok we're good -> repeat, that gets less intense over time)

Thus, allowing the party to just. Integrate loop as a new person. They and Siffrin shuffle into different ecological niches (Loop taking over stuff Siffrin is now too squeamish for, etc (see: hunting, mostly)), and while it's not exactly what Loop wanted they generally get that beggars can't be choosers and it's a pretty good deal. And the rest of the party does straight up just like them as a friend, especially when Loop quits trying to actively antagonise them after a few weeks of being around them, since they just can't keep up being mean to people they like forever.

As for how I think the truth eventually drags itself out. This is where I invoke The Isabeau Torment Nexus™. So its gonna get shippy here for a bit hold on.

Which is, I think giving them time before Loop reappears long enough that Siffrin and Iseabeau actually manage to become established, Isabeau has to be the one to nudge the pair of them and go. "Hey. You know we're in Vaugarde right. I'm okay with polyamory if we all communicate." Before Loop and Siffrin actually even acknowledge that whatever the fuck they have going on kinda looks a lot like a relationship of some kind. (or have already been agonising about that via fighting and arguing, depending) (Obviously this comes after Isa "Emotionally intelligent enough to keep a lid on the jealousy" Beau has managed to use that big brain of his to Not just go Scream somewhere on the daily because oh godddd they keep talking like theyre suicide-baiting each other jesus chriiist. is it overstepping his boundaries to bring that up?? god)

This, taking a bunch of the tension out of Loop and Isabeau's relationship (Since I imagine Loop is a. being weird for the obvious reasons and b. feeling kinda guilty about 'getting in the way of' Siffrin and Iseabeau), allows them to actually get close in a normal friend way. (I think an interesting turning point could be Isabeau actually taking Loop's side in an argument vs Siffrin, which would absolutely break Loop's brain. Especially if it's an argument that matters. Like what do you mean he isn't just going to play favourites. What?)

Then Isabeau, just actually open minded and charmed by Loop (and maybe even somewhat at Siffrin's suggestion?) tries to close the final open side on the polyamory triangle here and that's the final straw for Loop on "This lie by omission is too unethical to keep up, this is just actually sick and wrong. I can't do this while he doesn't know who I am." Though. Obviously it probably goes. Very poorly with emotions high like that. And the added element of several months of deceit. Getting dark here for a second but that dagger is going MISSING and so are THEY for a hot minute.

Then yaaay everything works out in the end 👍 yippieee!! all it took was maybe a lot of harrowed recontextualisation of all the weird shit your new friend said and did when it turns out they're your old friend. It's fine.

But yeah. this is basically the context all of my postcanon doodles have existed within? And those exist to give other people something to chew on. So this does too.

I suppose TL;DR: Imagine if sloopis almost fucking happens before isabeau knows who loop is. can you fucking imagine. can you imagine having to navigate that. nightmare.

*Yes this includes the implied cannibalism comic. Uhh. Comes part and parcel with headcanoning that Loop went way off the deep end similar to A5 Sif But Maybe Worse before giving in. Add weepy half-asleep confessions to murder wherever you see fit in your mind palace. 👍👍👍

**Re: Nille footnote. I don't have anywhere to put this besides here! I have some thoughts on Loop and Nille having an odd dynamic. I don't imagine Nille to be super gung-ho on trusting a bunch of adults (even if they are majority around her age) given their implied backstory. It's probably a big shock to the system, especially since Bambouche is a good couple hundred Kilometers up north from Dormont and these guys don't seem to have trains. She would've been unfrozen and without Bonnie for some time....

Which is to say: I think she's suspicious of them. I think she may be looking for excuses to distance herself, keep Bonnie safe. SO.... A new guy showing up? And antagonising the party? What do they know that I don't...? I should find out.

And since... Loop didn't ever know Nille, they have no ammunition or real reason to be cruel. Plus, if they're trying to stay on Bonnie's good side (SINCE... if Bonnie thought Loop was cringe they may as well kill themselves. In their mind.) they SUPER have no reason to antagonise Nille.

Mostly, they might be able to open up to each other easier than they can the rest of the party?

I feel like this resolves with Loop feeling compelled to apologise for what they and Siffrin let happen to Bonnie, though... Hmm... Depends on how you interpret Nille that they'd be glad nobody else had been told about that yet, or furious it had been secret this long. I lean toward the former.

[enjoythesilentworld]

2024 fandom review!

thank u for the tag @willesredlights sorry it took me literally ages to get to it

lets pretend we're not almost two weeks into the new year ok? and what a year it has been. holy shit.

~ Fics written ~

I'll be honest I did go a little batshit crazy this past year. 314k words across 19 published works, plus god knows how much more unpublished on tumblr. listen, I was deep in the ??? phase of my master's (still am, lets be honest) and desperately looking for a new creative outlet. I've always been a writer, always loved dreaming up stories, but I have never quite connected to a universe as much as I have to this one. I resonate with so many of the characters, and i just feel like there is so much room to play and explore. i will continue to add in old people OCs to my fics wherever and whenever i get the chance.

First fic: for the tree's sake (M, 48k) aka tree boys inspired by the trip that eventually led to my discover of young royals in late '23, and my darling baby. yes, that airplane ride that seems weird and random is based on truth!

Fav fic: just if for a minute (T, 53k) aka fake married idiots i greatly enjoyed making Wille suffer for just under 53k. that confrontation scene took days off my life and yet i am so proud of how it turned out.

Honorary mention to Growing towards the light, which was a dream to work on and create with my dear sweet friend Lia. there is one braincell between the two of us and it's full of nature facts and dick jokes. and beautiful stories about getting lost in the wilderness and finding yourself along the way. and tent-dick jokes.

Last fic: Wille på Hyllan (T, 13k) aka christmas shenanigans! another collab with my dearest friends which was hilarious to write and so silly and imo an example of one of the greatest perks of being in a fandom: meeting some of the most incredible people ever. also, dick-lights and dick-tomtar and dick-cookies. what more could you want?

~ Fics Read ~

if i tried to go through my history and tell you how many fics i read this year i would never make this post. i'd be here counting and trying to copy links forever. i read hundreds of fics. i enjoyed all of them, thoroughly. i got a lot better at leaving comments (sometimes). i was consistently and repeatedly blown away by the genius brains we have in this little Swedish corner of the internet.

if you are a writer i love you and i give u a kiss on the forehead.

also: i recently made a lil rec list here.

~ Other Stuff? ~

i had two big, busy months this year. three? : May, Wille's month & July, Simon's month i cannot believe i wrote 62 stories in 62 different universes (give or take a few). that's kind of stupid! but oh my god it was so fun!! some of my favs: -> Food, where Wille and Simon meet and embark on a mistakenly booked couples food tour in Barcelona -> Fashion/Style, aka the Met Gala AU aka the thing that turned into something so much bigger than i could have ever imagined. literally i thought people were gonna hate it. so, thank u for not hating it. and for letting it become 15k+ of pwp. -> Secret, friends to lovers RAHHHHHH -> Home (Improvement), aka grumpy home renovator Simon idk i just feel like this should become a full-blown fic one day

and oh boy who can forget about Kinktober from wax kinks in 17th century Italy to desperate love confession in the middle of wildfires to... whatever that was in the confessional (idk, that's between them and God).

2024...

I did some painting: x x I wrote some real weird lil ficlets: x x and I met dozens of incredible people. thank u for liking my stupid rambling posts from 3am and my silly little ficlets and for reading my stories and telling me about your stories and saving me from the Frankfurt airport and yelling with me about stuff thats definitely not in the Bible and sharing your time and space and art and care.

@bigalockwood @hergrandplan @gulliblelemon @saynomorefic @pagegirlintraining @skibasyndrome @sobadbad @impossibleknots @piebingo @theaviatorthatcouldnotfly @misfithive @sillylittleflower @zee-has-commitment-issues @purplehoodiesandclementines @justfriendsbestthings

giving u a big hug. and! this is by no means an exhaustive list. if ur reading this we are bffs. send me a message ok? ok. y'all keep me sane and happy and i am so grateful for you! live love wilmon

[ruh--roh-raggy]

Stars Look Nice Tonight (Punk William x Fem! Reader)

Hello hello! Welcome back to my lovely little punk Will series, thank you all so much for the love he's been so fun to write! So, this is a technical part 2 to Buzzed, but this series is going to be a little different than Home Sweet Home. I don't plan on following a linear timeline once I get their relationship fully established. What that's going to mean is we're going to have some plot build up with them being all cute and getting to know each other and flirting and all that good stuff, but the rest of this series is going to be published through one shots. I have a lot of ideas for fics with punk Will hehehe. If you have any requests you would like to see with him, let me know! If you would like to be added to my tag list, also let me know! Thank you all so much for reading!!

WARNINGS: Recreational 🍃 smoking, drinking at a bar, age gap (Reader is in early 20's Will is in his 40's/50's), mostly fluff with some suggestive flirting

You can find my Masterlist here!

Word Count: 2,782

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“Are you around this weekend?” You smiled against the receiver you had pressed to your ear. You paused for a moment, not wanting to respond too fast and seem too eager. Over your post concert dinner of greasy bacon and fluffy waffles you and Will both realized one thing, neither of you could get enough of one another. He loved how the sound of your melodic laughter made his heart beat faster, the shy smile you would give him as his hand brushed over yours, how every so often he would catch you staring at his lips with a wistful expression on your face. You were too busy getting caught up in his seductive gaze to notice. He asked if he could see you again. Casually, of course, he doesn’t want you to feel tied down. You had to refrain from practically screaming your acceptance in his face. Now, you were standing in your kitchen almost a week from then, the man occupying your every thought on the other end of the line.

“I should be.” You respond coyly. William breathes out a chuckle, he could practically hear the smirk in your voice. “Got something in mind?”

“I was thinking we could go out for drinks… give me a chance to make up for the one I spilled on you at the venue.” You leaned against the counter, listening to the way his deep voice crackled through the phone.

“If I remember right, you weren’t the one who spilled it on me.” You respond in a teasing tone.

“Still happened because the prettiest girl in the room decided to stop and talk to me.” You freeze, your cheeks immediately growing warm at his compliment. After a moment of your silence you hear Will laugh on the other end of the line. “If you want to throw me off my game you’re going to have to do a bit more than fact check me while I’m asking you out.” He jokes.

“I’m sorry I ever doubted you.” You giggle. “I get off at 7 tonight and then I’m free the rest of the weekend.”

“I guess I should plan something a little more special than a grimey dive bar then, huh?”

“I don’t know, sounds pretty romantic to me.” The sound of his laughter makes you smile. “Will… you know I don’t mind seeing you more than one day in a row, right?” Now it was his turn to be quiet for a moment.

“I just don’t want you to feel rushed-”

“It’s not like that.” You twist the long, cream colored spiral cord around your finger. “I had a really nice time with you the other night.” You chew your lip nervously before deciding to just put it all out there. “I like you, Will. I want to spend time with you.” Your hands grew clammy as his end of the line remained silent.

“I like you too.” Will was grateful you couldn’t see him right now. His face was hot, there was no doubt in his mind that he was blushing terribly. He couldn’t believe how ridiculous he was acting right now. But, there was something about the soft way you spoke, your small confession still ringing in his ears, he felt like he was back in college all over again. “Do you want to meet me at Ralph’s after you get off work tonight?”

You were taken aback for a second, “you know Ralph’s?”

“What, you didn’t think you and your little baby punk friends discovered Ralph’s?” He asks in a teasing tone. “Baby, I’ve probably been going to Ralph’s since before you were born... Do I know Ralph's?” He scoffs.

“To answer your original question, I would love to meet you for drinks.” You pull your bottom lip between your teeth as you attempt to suppress your eagerness to see him.

“8 o’clock work?”

“That sounds perfect.”

“I’m really excited to see you tonight.” You jump as you hear him slam down the phone as he hangs up.

Will groans as he drags a hand down his face. “I’m really excited to see you tonight.” He repeats in a mocking tone. “Get a grip.”

“Well, hey stranger.” Will straightens up at the sound of your voice chirping next to him at the bar. He stood, sliding out a stool for you. His eyes hungrily raked over your frame, you had put on a slinky little black dress that perfectly hugged all of your delicate curves. He swallows thickly as his gaze trails over your pillowy thighs, he could only imagine how soft they would be clamped around his head.

“You look amazing.” He smiles at you, struggling to keep his eyes on yours, the thin layer of gold body glitter you had applied sparkled in the neon lights that covered the walls. He accidentally caught sight of your cleavage as you wiggled your way onto the stool, the sight alone enough to make his cock twitch in his jeans. You were incredibly beautiful, Will couldn't believed he had managed to earn even a fraction of your attention.

“Thank you.” You blush, looking up at him through your lashes. “You're looking pretty good yourself.” Will had opted for something a little more casual, a nicely fitted flannel that he had rolled up to just above his elbows and some jeans. Your eyes trailed down his arm, landing on his massive hand that dwarfed the beer bottle he was holding. The bartender makes his way over to you, a flirtatious smile on his lips that immediately makes Will prickle with annoyance.

“What can I get started for you, beautiful?” He asks with a wink. “Unless you want to just jump straight to getting my number?” You had to stop yourself from rolling your eyes. Some things never change. You glanced at Will out of the corner of your eye, his gaze was burning a hole in the side of the bartender's face. But, considering the two of you had agreed to keep things casual, he just sat quietly in his seat. Your delicate fingers slid over Will’s forearm, his attention immediately moving to you.

You leaned into him, wanting to give the bartender a full show in hopes he would leave the two of you alone. “What are you drinking baby?” You see Will subtly mouth the pet name you had decided to call him, pure confusion written in his features. You take the beer bottle from his hand, your chest pressing into his shoulder as you cuddle up to his side. You turn the bottle to read the label, it was some foreign beer you didn't recognize. You slowly brought the dark brown glass to your perfectly painted lips, tilting your head back to take a long sip. Your face scrunches up at the pungent, bitter liquid, you shake your head before putting it back in Will’s hand. You almost blew your cover as your eyes met Will’s. You could see his thoughts loading as he processed having you so close to him, threatening to tear a laugh from your throat.

“She’ll have a vodka cran.” He chimes in, gaze never leaving your face. The bartender hurries off with his tail in between his legs, obviously embarrassed that he came on so strong to someone who was obviously taken. “Not that I'm complaining, but what the fuck was all of that?” He asks with a chuckle.

“I came here to spend time with you.” You explain with a soft smile. “Not to be hit on by some sleazeball who’s probably going to somehow manage to fuck up a vodka cran, good choice by the way.” He laughs at your blatant dismissal of his competition.

“It seemed like a pretty safe option.” The two of you sat and chatted for hours at the bar. William filled you in on the fact that he both owns and operates Freddy Fazbear’s Pizzeria, a place you had loved since you were a kid, and he found out that you have the much less glamorous title of working at a hardware store. “I can't believe it, you've been working there all this time and we’ve never met.” The two of you had managed to huddle close together, you looked more akin to children swapping secrets on the playground than two grown adults having a normal conversation during a night out, but that was part of the fun. There was something about being around Will that made you feel alive. You weren't afraid to be silly, you weren't worried about him judging your interests, from the moment you had met you felt comfortable being 100% yourself around him, and Will would be lying if he said he didn't feel the same. He thought you were incredible, absolutely breathtaking in every way imaginable. He couldn't remember the last time someone had made him laugh this hard outside of Henry, every so often the two of you would have to pause just to catch your breaths. Will was honestly surprised that you seemed to like him, it had been years since he had met someone he didn't need to wear a mask in front of. Eventually, as it grew later, the bar gradually became more crowded. “Would you maybe want to go somewhere quieter?” He practically yells over the wall of sound.

“Sure!” You call back. “It’d be nice to be able to hear you.” You chuckle. Will settles your tab, refusing to let you pay for a single drink despite your adorable protests. You slowly pushed your way through the sea of people, Will keeping a protective hand on the small of your back as he helped part the way. You pushed into the stillness of the night, a shiver running up your spine at the drastic change in temperature. You stood opposite him, you faced each other in silence for a moment as you thought of a way to extend your evening together. “Not to be your stereotypical twenty something year old,” William chuckles as you break the stillness that had surrounded you. “But, I have a bong and an eighth in my car.” Will glances up at the sky.

“Stars look nice tonight.” A small smile spreads across his lips as his attention falls back onto you. “You're going to freeze to death dressed like that.”

You wave him off with a dismissive sound, “I'll be fine, I've been through worse.”

“I think,” he starts as he takes slow steps closer to you, “you should go get that bong ready to go while I go grab you a jacket.”

“I can work with that.” You pull your bottom lip between your teeth, shooting him a coy expression.

You pop your trunk, digging through the bags and emergency supplies you had stacked in front of your piece. The glass was ice cold against your palm and you let out a sigh of relief when you saw that you had fully cleaned it after its last use. You let out a small scream as a warm weight falls around your shoulders, the sound of William’s laughter immediately calming you. Your nose filled with the growingly familiar scent, a delighted hum slipping past your lips. You glanced at the denim, a patch you recognized catching your attention. “You know if you keep letting me borrow this jacket I'm going to steal it one of these days.” You tease.

“What a shame that would be.” He responds with a slight roll of his eyes. He carefully takes your hands in his, holding your arms away from your body. “If I'm being completely honest you look a lot better in my battle jacket than I ever did.”

“This is your battle jacket?” Your eyes widen as you ask. He nods in response. “Oh, Will, I-”

“Listen, my days of being a grimy little pit rat whose only purpose is to smoke, fuck, and sticking it to the man are behind me… Well, maybe not that last part.”

“Doesn't seem like you're doing too good at the first part either.” You tease with a small laugh, holding up the bong you had originally been asked to retrieve. “Hopefully I'll find out eventually where you fall in that middle category.” You wink at him before heading to the front of your car, attempting to hide the fact that your cheeks were burning over such a forward statement. You hoist yourself up onto the hood of your car with a groan, sliding yourself back so you could lay against your windshield. Will maneuvers himself next to you, fishing a lighter out of his pocket. He nods for you to take the first hit, flicking the lighter to life and preparing to light the bowl for you. You glanced up at him, stunning silver eyes studying you with a softness you had never witnessed before. You tilt your head back, blowing a plume of smoke up into the night sky. The two of you take turns, swapping the bong between you. A soft smile grows on your lips as you catch Will's lingering gaze. “What's that look for?”

“Can I make a really stupid request?” He asks softly.

“No such thing as a stupid request, but continue.” You turn to him with a smile.

“I haven't been able to stop thinking about kissing you since I saw you tonight… I’d like to be able to kiss you again, if that's alright.” You pull your bottom lip between your teeth, scanning over his handsome features as your pulse thundered in your ears.

“I think that sounds a little better than alright.” You respond in a low, seductive tone. His hand cups your jaw, brushing his thumb over your bottom lip. He dips his head lower, his lips just out of reach of your own.

“Has anyone ever told you, you have really pretty eyes?” You breathe out a laugh.

“I bet you say that to all the girls.” He shakes his head in response, you notice him swallow, a subtle nervousness in his eyes that you almost missed.

“There are no other girls… only you.” You push yourself forward, a surprised sound escaping Will as your lips land on his. An arm circles around your waist, pulling you in impossibly closer. You set the bong down on the hood of your car before straddling his lap. He pulls you flush against his chest, his other hand tangling into your hair. Your arms rest comfortably over his shoulders, he lets out a small hum as he kisses you, smiling against your lips. You pull back with a small gasp as air rushes into your lungs, your pupils blown as adrenaline courses through your veins.

“I haven't been able to stop thinking about you since the concert.” You admit breathlessly. William gives you a charming, lopsided smile.

“Well, I guess we’re both in trouble.” He responds with a chuckle, making you let out a soft laugh of your own. “I just don't want you to feel like you have to rush into anything you’re not sure about.”

“I don't feel like we’re rushing anything.” You reassure him. “It feels right, being here with you like this.” He feels the way your shuddering breath ghosts over his lips, his eyes flicking over your face as he drank in every detail of you. His hands knead at your waist, trying to think of how to respond. It’s not that he didn't want you to be exclusively his, he had thought about how pretty you would look covered in bite marks, showing off to the world that the two of you were an item. But you had so much life in you, so much you had yet to experience, could he really be what you want? At the moment he couldn't really bring himself to care. You were sitting so prettily in his lap, your short dress riding up your thighs, his jacket drowning your tiny frame. Who was he to deny an angel what she wanted?

He sighs out your name as his lips find their way back to yours. You tangle your fingers in his hair, his glasses pressing uncomfortably into your cheek. Will tried to elaborate on his conditions in between kissing you. “I want you to set the pace.” He sputters out breathlessly. “If we’re moving too fast… or not fast enough… just tell me…” He slides a hand under your jacked, feeling the soft curve of your back against his palm. His lips leave yours, trailing across your jaw.

“Will?” You ask softly.

“Yes, rabbit?” He pauses immediately, pulling back to make sure you were okay. Your eyes instantly met his, the way they twinkled in the moonlight almost made him melt on the spot.

“Take me home?”

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Tag List: @yellowbunnydreams @zoey5252 @redflowery @loudchaosking @weirdoartist21 @residentevilbeast @lokanda @emmbny @yukkkiki @twelvelevens

[ginnsbaker]

In Losing Grip On Sinking Ships (20/23)

Chapter summary: You and Wanda go back for another couple's therapy session where Wanda reveals her abandonment issues; Afterwards, you and Wanda arrive in LA for Christmas with her family.

Chapter word count: 6.5k+ | Tags: Therapy, Healing, Comfort | Ship: Wanda x Female Reader

Author's note: Christmas part one. Can't believe there's only three more chapters and the epilogue. Enjoy!

AO3 | Masterlist 

Next part: Twenty-One

--

Twenty

As the second therapy session with Calliope gets underway, she opens with a warm smile, “Let's start with the assignment from our previous meeting. Were you both able to write and share your letters?”

You and Wanda share a quick glance before you respond with an enthusiastic, “Yeah, we did.”

You both can't help but beam, a sense of accomplishment clearly reflected in your faces.

“That's great to hear,” Calliope says warmly, her eyes crinkling at the corners. “Tell me about the experience. How did it feel to be so open with each other?”

You glance at Wanda, who gives a small nod to signal she'll take the lead. She inhales deeply, her gaze momentarily darting to you before returning to Calliope.

“It was, you know... really special. Romantic,” Wanda confesses, a soft blush creeping onto her cheeks as she feels a bit silly, like a teenager raving about a crush. Her fingers absentmindedly twirl in loops on her knees. “I mean, it wasn't a promise or anything, but being able to understand just how deeply she cares for me... it made my heart feel full, in the best way.”

Calliope's attention then shifts to you, her body language encouraging and patient as she waits for you to share your thoughts.

After a thoughtful pause, you answer, “It felt like unshackling myself. Putting all my feelings into words, it was like shedding some weight off my shoulders. And reading what Wanda wrote…” You pause, turning to look at Wanda, a gentle warmth lighting up your eyes. “It... It grounded me. Reminded me of why we are doing this, why we're trying to fix things in the middle of all this confusion... It's because we love each other.”

“I must say, I'm incredibly moved by the strides you both have made,” Calliope says. She then subtly changes her posture, turning to focus more directly on Wanda. 

“Now that we've started delving into Y/N's trust issues, it's only fair that we address your feelings too, Wanda. So, let's talk about your trust in Y/N. How are you feeling about that?” Calliope asks.

A flicker of surprise crosses your face, reflected in Wanda's as well. The room falls into a hushed pause as Wanda processes the question, her brow creased in deep thought. The possibility of Wanda having her own trust issues hadn't even crossed your mind. You've been so focused on your own sense of betrayal and the need to rebuild trust, you didn't consider that she might be struggling too. As you wait for Wanda's response, a knot tightens in your stomach, making you realize just how much her answer matters to you.

For a brief moment, Wanda looks at Calliope with a blank expression. “I... I'm not quite certain how to answer that,” she concedes, her fingers subconsciously toying with a loose thread on her sleeve. 

You find yourself hanging onto her every word. 

“Does it count that I was jealous of Yelena even before she and Y/N got together? There was an entire history between Y/N and Yelena that we never really discussed... that I was never really a part of.”

“Lack of trust can often sow seeds of insecurity, Wanda, which in turn leads to feelings of jealousy. Trust doesn't only involve a faith in someone's actions, but also in their words and their shared history.” Calliope explains, and then she turns to you. “Y/N, this is something you need to take into account. It's not only about how your actions impact Wanda's trust in you, but also how much you're willing to share and be transparent about your past and your feelings.”

You swallow dryly and nod at Calliope’s words. It's not easy, admitting this. But it's something you realize you need to say.

“Wanda, I wasn't being completely truthful with you back then,” you start, feeling the weight of the words as they leave your lips. “When I told you I didn't think it was worth mentioning… The truth is, it made me uncomfortable to talk about her.”

Wanda's brow furrows slightly, but she doesn't interrupt. You take that as a sign to continue.

“Yelena was... she was important to me. At some point, before you and I met, I thought she was the one. And when that love was ripped away from me because she moved to another country, it hurt. It hurt a lot. So when we reconnected while we were married, it was... it was complicated. Especially because you never knew about her. I didn't know how to bring it up. How to explain it to you. So I avoided it. And I realize now that was wrong. It wasn't fair to you.” you say.

Wanda studies you intently, her hands clasped tightly together as she works up the courage to voice her question. “And what...what did you feel when you saw Yelena again that time after all those years?”

You take a deep breath. This honestly thing is harder than you thought.

“When I saw Yelena again,” you begin, your voice low and steady. “It was like being transported back in time. There was this rush of old memories, some good, some painful. It was a little unsettling.”

“Did you… realize anything?” Wanda asks slowly. She doesn't spell it out, but you can read between the lines: Did you feel a spark between you two?

You don’t think you can answer that without telling Wanda something first.

“When Yelena and I broke up, our story ended on an open note. There was no closure and part of me always wondered 'what if'. But then you happened, Wanda. You walked into my life and turned it upside down in the most beautiful way.”

You take a deep breath, looking at Wanda, her wide eyes locked onto yours, filled with anticipation. “Before I asked you to marry me, I thought about Yelena. I wondered what it meant to still have an open chapter with her. But in that moment, I knew with absolute certainty, you were the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.”

Wanda visibly relaxes at this, which makes you regret the next words to come out of your mouth. 

“But when I found out what really happened, it just floored me,” you say. “Our trust was broken, our marriage ended, and I was left feeling totally confused and hurt. I had to question everything we ever had together.”

Your voice drops to a softer tone, “After our divorce, my history with Yelena seemed like something unfinished that I needed to explore. I was just trying to make sense of everything, looking for a way to move on. I let myself think about 'what if' with her, and even gave a relationship with Yelena a chance. But we both know how that turned out, don't we?”

You give a small shake of your head, smiling sadly, “But to directly answer your question: No, it didn't spark any old romantic feelings when I ran into her in Soho. I didn't feel the same butterflies that I felt when I fell in love with her back then, or the ones I felt when I fell for you. And I realized recently that what we had for the second time around was more about seeking a familiar comfort, a way for me to move from you.”

Wanda nods as she takes everything in. It suddenly feels like a funeral setting, mourning a series of losses.

“I think I’m just realizing now more clearly, the magnitude of what I’ve done,” Wanda begins. Her gaze is steady, albeit heavy with a kind of self-awareness that only comes after a period of reflection and growth. “When I messed up, it wasn't just about you and me. It hurt people we care about. The fallout wasn't contained to just us, it spread to almost everyone we really care about.”

Wanda inhales a deep, shuddering breath, visibly collecting herself. “I can't erase what I did. I can't change the past. But I can learn from it. That huge mistake I made... it's a part of me now. I have to live with it, not as a source of shame, but as a constant reminder of where I went wrong.”

Calliope listens, her expression softening with understanding as Wanda speaks. When Wanda finishes, she nods, thoughtful.

After a brief pause to let her words sink in, Calliope segues into the next subject. “Is there anything else that has strained your trust in Y/N, or have we covered everything?” 

Wanda, after a thoughtful silence, finally murmurs, “There's something else…”

You turn to your ex-wife, surprised by her admission. You brace yourself for whatever comes next, even though a nagging feeling at the back of your mind tells you that you're about to be blindsided once again by something in your relationship with Wanda.

Wanda bites the inside of her cheek thoughtfully. Her voice is a bit shaky as she starts, “I... I'm afraid that one day you'll just... leave. Without a word, without a trace. Just like my mother did to me and my brother when we were young.”

She looks directly at you, vulnerability written all over her face. You can see the fear that grips her in those beautiful eyes, a fear that you've unknowingly contributed to.

“That night, when I asked you to stay... when I overdosed... it was that fear. That feeling of abandonment, it just... it just became too much,” she whispers, her voice trailing off.

You’re stunned into silence at the enormity of her confession. You had no idea that she carried such deep-rooted fears. It makes you view your actions and decisions in a new light. You may have unknowingly triggered her worst fear, exacerbating the pain she felt from your separation.

You reach across the couch to take her hand in yours, giving it a reassuring squeeze. 

“I... I didn't realize that night what I was doing to you,” you say, looking down at your hands, now entwined. “I should've stayed. Maybe then things would've been different. If I'd understood...” Your voice trails off, choked with regret.

Wanda’s overdose, her hospitalization, it really was your fault. “Y/N,” Calliope's gentle voice cuts through your self-recrimination, “I see that you're blaming yourself, but it's crucial to recognize that we are all responsible for our own actions. Wanda's overdose was her response to the pain, a decision driven by her emotional state at the time. While you did play a role in her life, you didn't dictate her choices. There were other ways for her to cope, other people she could have reached out to. The path she took, as desperate as it may have been, was her decision. Our challenge now is to understand why she felt that was her only option, rather than assigning blame.”

Action and reaction. You understand that these are the things you can control if they are your own, but that doesn't negate the fact that other factors can influence them. Calliope's words don't quite alleviate the guilt threatening to engulf you.

“Y/N, would you care to share your intentions that night when you left Wanda? Did you plan to sever all communication with her?” Calliope gently prods.

“Calliope, can we–” Wanda begins, her voice breaking as if the words are lodged in her throat. “Can we not talk about this anymore?”

“No, Wanda, it’s okay,” you say softly. Your eyes lock with Wanda's, holding her gaze as if trying to communicate a silent promise. You then turn to Calliope, drawing a deep breath.

“I... I don't know," you admit, your voice low. “I was so hurt and angry... I couldn't think straight. But I never intended to... to abandon her like that. I just... I needed some space. I needed time to process everything that happened. And I thought she needed it too.”

Wanda cuts in to support your statement, “We were hurting each other... every day, every moment. It was as if we were stuck in a loop of anger, pain, and... meaningless sex. That week... it was like we were poisoning each other.” 

Wanda's voice softens, reaching out to you with a heartfelt plea, “I understand now why you had to leave then. But this time, if we're trying... if we're really committed to this, can I count on you to communicate with me if you ever feel like you need space?”

As Calliope turns to you for an answer, you feel an immediate sense of calmness washing over you. 

“Of course, Wanda,” you assure her with a small smile.

With a satisfied nod, Calliope wraps up the joint part of your therapy session, “That's a good place to pause for now.” She looks over at both of you, a proud smile on her face.

She then turns to you specifically, “Y/N, would you still be okay to proceed with your individual session after a short 30-minute break?”

You nod quickly. You want nothing more than to proceed and talk to Calliope about some things that have made it difficult for you to sleep in recent days.

“Alright, then. I'll see you shortly,” Calliope remarks, retreating to her desk, her pen already dancing across her notebook.

You and Wanda rise from your seats, and she mentions that she needs to rush back to the cafe to work on potential recipes for the “Cup-off”. You've only heard about this competition in passing one evening, but you nod supportively, thankful for her patience and engagement throughout these therapy sessions. She rewards you with a kiss on the cheek, and a promise to call you later.

“Okay, Y/N, let's begin,” Calliope starts, taking a deep and grounding breath. You find yourself silently admiring her resilience and strength. Her job seems like more of an emotional balancing act than you initially thought, bearing witness to all sorts of personal burdens day in and day out. Yet here she is, prepared to cross another emotional minefield. You briefly wonder if it ever gets to her–the burden of other people's problems.

“So, Y/N, how are you doing right now?”

You chuckle lightly, shaking your head as you settle back into the same spot you occupied just thirty minutes ago. “You were in the room with us,” you say with a wry smile. “You know how it went.”

Calliope grins slightly, responding patiently, “Yes, I was there. But a lot can shift in thirty minutes. It's fascinating, isn't it? The fluidity of human emotions. They can change, sometimes so rapidly.”

You smile good-naturedly, feeling the warmth from the coffee cup still lingering in your hands. Glancing out onto the balcony of the reception area had given you a moment to breathe, to reflect.

“Actually, I'm doing alright,” you tell Calliope, your voice steadier than before. “The quick break helped me calm down. I was upset, I won't lie, after hearing about the impact of my leaving on Wanda. And the thought of almost losing her without even realizing it... I would never be able to forgive myself if something had happened to her.”

“It won't be easy, but you need to forgive yourself. Wanda has,” Calliope says.

You take a deep breath, trying to absorb her words. It's one thing to hear Wanda say she forgives you, but to actually forgive yourself? That's a more complicated matter.

“Thank you, Calliope. I'll try.” You pause, collecting your thoughts, before adding, “There is actually something else on my mind.”

“What is it, Y/N?”

“Natasha,” you say, the name echoing in the room, fraught with significance. “She's my best friend. Well, was, I guess. And she's Yelena's sister.”

A brief understanding flashes across Calliope's face. “Ah,” she murmurs, leaning back in her chair. “That's a complex dynamic.”

“To say the least,” you reply, a hollow laugh escaping your lips. “I messed up with Yelena, right? I...I kissed Wanda while we were still together. And after Yelena broke up with me, Natasha and I had a big fight. She's refused to talk to me since. So, I’m just gonna go straight to it and ask you: How do I fix it?”

Calliope studies you for a moment, her gaze steady. “Y/N,” she begins, leaning further back in her chair, “A common misconception about therapy is that therapists are the 'fixers', that we hold all the answers to people's problems. But the truth is, we're here just to guide, to help you look at situations in a healthier way.”

You find yourself nodding, even though a part of you yearns for a simple solution.

Calliope pauses, letting you digest her words. “As for your situation with Natasha, you must understand that your control is limited. You cannot control her reactions or feelings. What you can control are your actions and intentions.”

She sees the understanding dawning in your eyes. “Your desire to fix the situation is natural, especially when you've caused hurt. But apologies can't be rushed, and forgiveness can't be demanded. However, there are steps you can take to start the process of healing.”

It's not an immediate solution, but it's a direction to follow. “I see,” you mutter, feeling a glimmer of hope. “Can you share with me what these steps are?”

Calliope smiles at your willingness to learn the process. “First, acknowledge what you've done wrong. In your case, it seems like you've done that. You've recognized that your actions with Wanda while being with Yelena caused you to hurt Natasha,” she starts.

“Second, reflect. Why did you do it? From what I’ve gathered, it’s because of your intense feelings for Wanda, which you have acknowledged in our previous sessions. Next, and most critically, how can you prevent such actions in the future?” she continues.

“Third, make the apology, but make sure it's sincere. People can tell when you're not genuinely sorry. Don't just say it to make yourself feel better, but rather to acknowledge the hurt you've caused," she advises, her gaze fixed on yours, driving home the importance of the words.

“I tried when I could,” you respond, frustration seeping into your voice. “But now, I don't even know how or when I could get another chance to…”

“Well, you’ve done your part, Y/N. Maybe you were sincere, but it wasn’t the right time for her yet. Maybe she wasn’t ready to hear it.” Calliope says.

You rub your face, feeling the weariness creeping in. “I just... I hope she knows how deeply sorry I am.”

“She will, Y/N, in her own time. Which brings us to the last advice I can give you,” Calliope says. “Give them time and space. It's crucial to understand that they may need time to process your apology and decide how they feel about it. They may not forgive you immediately, or even at all. That's something you'll have to accept.”

That's something you'll have to accept.

You went to kindergarten with Natasha. You shared birthdays together and even a funeral. 

If Natasha never forgives you, then you permanently lose a piece of your life.

A piece of yourself.

***

The persistent drone of the plane engines always unsettled you, making you hesitant about leaving the familiarity of solid ground. This feeling has you rooted in one city, avoiding globe-trotting adventures or cross-country escapades.

But when Wanda asked you to go with her to Los Angeles to celebrate Christmas with her family, you couldn't say no. The way her eyes lit up when she asked you was irresistible, and with your mom planning to spend the holidays with her friends in Europe, you faced the prospect of being alone in Manhattan. Despite your discomfort with planes, you decided to put your fears aside and join her on the trip. 

Wanda, otherwise the perfect companion, is now constantly on her phone, taking calls every five minutes, and when she's not on a call, she's texting. You overhear snippets about delayed orders and maintenance contracts, so it's probably her suppliers, but the incessant buzzing and clicking of her phone still gnaws at your attention.

Who are they, these people reaching out to her? Even if it's just business, what are all these conversations about? Wanda happens to be a very attractive woman, and people aren't blind to it. 

She takes wind of your unease eventually, her hand reaching over to squeeze yours, a reassuring smile on her face. “It's just the suppliers and the maintenance people for the shop,” she explains, but the phone still rests in her other hand, a barrier that you can't quite overcome.

Before you can respond, the pilot's voice echoes through the cabin, signaling take-off, you instinctively brace yourself, your knuckles whitening as you clutch the armrests tightly. Noticing your visible discomfort, Wanda gently peels your rigid fingers away from the armrest and threads them through hers. A soft gasp escapes her as your grip tightens around her fingers instinctively, harder than you mean to. Sparky, comfortably nestled in Wanda's lap, looks considerably more at ease than you.

“Sorry,” you mumble, eyes squeezed shut as you brace for the sensation of the accelerating plane.

“It's okay, love,” Wanda reassures you. Her thumb traces comforting circles over the back of your hand, and you cling to the calming rhythm.

The plane picks up speed, the familiar pressure building in your chest. You suck in a quick breath, your free hand gripping the armrest on your other side.

Suddenly, Sparky lifts his head from Wanda's lap and turns to you, his furry face full of concern. His soft whimpering and puppy eyes manage to pull a small smile from you. Somehow, his innocent worry makes the tension ebb away slightly.

With one last reassuring squeeze of your hand, Wanda whispers, “We're about to lift off. Just remember to breathe.”

As the plane ascends, your heart flutters in response to the shift in gravity. The world outside the window begins to shrink, the vast expanse of the city transforming into a model town. You keep your eyes shut, focusing on the steady rhythm of Wanda's thumb on your hand. If you’re going to die from a plane crash today, you find comfort in having Wanda’s assurances against your ear as the last sound you’ll ever hear. 

“See, we're okay,” Wanda says after a moment, a note of triumph in her voice.

You open your eyes slowly, the cabin steady around you. As you look out of the window, the sight of the sprawling city below is enough to take your breath away. 

“Do I get a reward for doing a great job?” you ask with a smirk.

A playful grin takes over her features as she leans in, pressing a light kiss to your lips. She then whispers in your ear, her voice low and sweet, “You’ll get the rest of your reward tonight, baby.”

The sound of her voice makes you tingle in all the right (wrong) places and it effectively distracts you enough from your fear of flying, allowing for some much-needed conversation.

“How’s the cup competition coming along?”

“Cup-off,” Wanda corrects you with a chuckle, her chin coming to rest on your shoulder, her breath fanning against your neck as she speaks. “It’s been fun coming up with different flavors, but I don’t know…” she trails off. “But, let's face it. I'm just a home cook who loves her espresso machine, not a seasoned barista. I'll be up against real coffee connoisseurs who've been perfecting their brews for years.”

“And that's what makes it so interesting, don't you think?” You turn your head slightly to meet her eyes. “You bring something different to the table, Wanda. You have a passion and creativity that they might not have.”

She gives you a thoughtful look, clearly mulling over your words. Her lips curve into a small, appreciative smile, and she snuggles closer to you. “You always know how to make me feel better,” she murmurs, her voice dropping an octave, and you know she's doing it on purpose, trying to rile you up. But there's just plenty of things on your mind right now, and her phone buzzing with notifications again isn't helping. 

“It's easy when it's the truth,” you say, stirring the topic back to coffee. “But how about you approach it from a different angle?”

“What do you mean?” Wanda asks, tilting her head and looking at you with apt interest.

“Instead of flavors, return to the basics. Use single origin coffee for your brew and make sure to source only the best stuff. I don’t know. Maybe I’m not making sense. But… sometimes people just really appreciate quality ingredients, you know?”

Wanda's eyes widen, and you notice a spark of excitement in her expression. She leans closer, her attention fully on you, the phone momentarily forgotten. “You may be onto something,” she says slowly.

“Really?” Your eyebrows shoot up, surprised and delighted at her interest.

“Really,” Wanda's expression turns thoughtful, her gaze fixated on some distant point as she mulls over your idea some more. “In fact, that's actually a great idea, Y/N. It emphasizes the true essence of coffee, rather than masking it with a variety of flavors. It's raw, it's honest, and it's authentic... Just like you.”

Feeling a rush of warmth, you give her a teasing nudge. "Are you comparing me to a coffee now?"

She chuckles, her eyes sparkling with amusement. “Maybe I am,” she says playfully, tightening her hold on your hand.

You roll your eyes, but your heart flutters at her words, and you find yourself leaning into her touch. 

The idea of coming to LA with her just keeps getting better and better.

***

The flight to California feels endless, the hours stretching on. But the moment the plane touches down and the doors open, Wanda's face transforms with anticipation. As soon as she steps into the arrival lounge, her eyes lock onto a familiar figure. Her brother, standing a little taller than her but with the same striking features, waves energetically in her direction.

Without hesitation, Wanda breaks into a light run, her face lighting up with pure, unadulterated joy.  She launches herself into his embrace. Their arms wrap around each other, the distance and time apart melting away. “Piet,” she murmurs into his shoulder, her voice thick with emotion.

He ruffles her hair, his grin matching hers. "Been too long, little sis," he teases, before turning his attention to you. 

“And Y/N,” Pietro greets you, his eyes scanning your face for a moment before he extends his hand. The handshake is civil, firm but noticeably cool. His polite smile doesn't quite reach his eyes, and in that brief contact, you feel a lingering tension that serves as a reminder that not all is forgotten.

You grab Pietro's hand, giving it a quick shake. “Pietro.” 

He quickly shifts his focus back to Wanda, bombarding her with questions you can't keep up with. As Wanda and Pietro chat and laugh, you feel a bit left out.

Pietro's cool demeanor makes it clear he knows about the issues between you and Wanda. You can't help but feel like you're on the outside looking in. Tugging on Sparky's leash and pulling your suitcase, you trail behind them, feeling like you're not really part of this little family reunion. 

With Sparky trotting faithfully at your side, you traverse the bustling airport, lagging slightly behind Wanda and Pietro. Suddenly, Wanda seems to realize that you've fallen behind. She slows her pace and glances back at you with a soft smile. “Sorry,” she says, a slight flush to her cheeks as if she's only just remembered you're there too. “Got caught up with all the catching up.”

You offer her a small, understanding smile, grateful for the effort she's making to include you. “It's okay,” you reassure her. “It's been a while since you two last saw each other. Catch up all you want.”

Her smile widens at your words, and she squeezes your hand lightly in appreciation. The simple action is enough to wash away your earlier discomfort, reminding you that even if the situation isn't perfect, you're here for Wanda. 

And that's all that matters.

To call Pietro's home in Sherman Oaks 'big' feels almost like an understatement. It's a sprawling, two-story house, complete with a wide, beautifully maintained front lawn and a driveway big enough to accommodate several cars. The house itself, painted in a warm, welcoming shade of beige, feels incredibly homely despite its size. The large windows and well-manicured garden make it clear that whoever lives here puts a lot of effort into maintaining it. For a brief moment, you feel a pang of intimidation; this is a far cry from the apartments and small houses back in New York. 

Wanda's eyes widen in astonishment as they scan the surroundings. It seems she's just as impressed as you are. You lean towards her, whispering so that only she can hear, “Does Pietro really rake in that much cash?”

She gives you a sidelong glance, her eyes sparkling with amusement before shrugging her shoulders lightly. “I think it's his wife,” she responds in the same hushed tone.

“He got married again?” you ask, remembering the last time you heard about Pietro's personal life, he was going through a messy divorce.

Wanda nods, a small smile playing on her lips. “Yeah, he did. And from what I can tell, I think it's really for keeps this time.”

Before you can comment further, a woman appears in the doorway. She's pregnant, very much so, at about six months based on her huge, round belly. 

“Welcome to my humble abode,” she exclaims, approaching Wanda with open arms. Wanda rolls her eyes, clearly finding the grandiosity of the mansion anything but modest. She kisses each of Wanda's cheeks, and her warm smile is genuine and infectious.

However, as you watch her, you can't help but gasp softly. You recognize her. Your mind instantly takes you back to the day of your job interview at Stark Industries, and it was her–Shannon–who interviewed you.

You're so shell-shocked by the sudden realization that you just stand there, momentarily frozen.

Wanda nudges you gently, a knowing look in her eyes. “You recognize Shannon, don't you?” she asks, not bothering to lower her voice. 

Shannon turns to you and her smile widens, “I see you remember our meeting.”

You manage to stammer out a surprised, “Yes,” while trying to regain your composure. 

Wanda seems to sense your anxiety. She wraps an arm around you, pulling you close. “I knew about the interview. Shannon told me,” she confesses, her voice just a whisper in your ear. “She was the one who gave me your new address.”

“She did what?”

“I think she did it to amuse herself because I was–I wasn’t clearly getting over you and she sort of nudged me in your direction. But I didn’t contact you until a month later, when Sparky had to be taken to the vet.”

“But my getting hired–that had nothing to do with you, right?”

“Absolutely not,” Wanda assures you, quickly dispelling your worry. “She only mentioned it to me over a month after we... after we had cut off communication. She did mention talking to Scott before hiring you.”

The mention of Scott's name brings a genuine smile to your face, tugging at the corner of your lips. You make a mental note to call him on Christmas Day.

“Why am I here hunting for a tree again?” Wanda grumbles, glancing back at the shrinking figure of you through Pietro's pickup truck window.

“Because you love me?” Pietro shoots back with a shrug.

“And Y/N, she'll be okay back there, right?”

“Y/N this, Y/N that,” Pietro mimics, feigning exasperation. “She’ll be fine.”

“You say that as if Shannon’s the loveliest host.”

“Well, she's been a lot nicer since she got pregnant.”

With a small sigh, Wanda leans back in her seat. The earlier excitement of seeing her brother at the airport is starting to fade. Now, without you or Sparky around, she feels a bit uneasy being alone with Pietro.

“I can hear the gears turning in your head, sis. What’s up?”

Wanda takes a steadying breath, searching for the right words. “It's Y/N,” she begins. “Piet, I'm... I'm nervous. With Y/N here, with everything that happened, I don't know how…” She trails off, biting her lower lip.

Pietro is quiet for a moment. “And mom?” he prompts gently.

Wanda nods, her eyes distant. “And mom,” she echoes. “I wrote back to her, you know?”

Pietro raises his eyebrows in surprise. "You did?" 

Wanda had always been more hesitant to reopen old wounds, especially when it came to their mother.

Wanda nods. “I did. I... I wrote about Dad. About how much it hurt when she left. I told her that I understand we don't really have a relationship right now, but... I want to try. I want to start fixing things.”

Pietro doesn't respond immediately. He keeps his eyes on the road, but the grip on his steering wheel tightens just a bit. When he finally speaks, his tone is softer than usual. “And what did she say?”

“I only sent it recently, just before we left for this trip,” Wanda admits. “I'm not sure whether she's received it yet or if she wrote me back.”

“So, does that mean you've forgiven her?” Pietro asks.

“I can't say for sure,” Wanda confesses. “But I'm hoping to, as I get to know this new version of her–the one you seem to have bonded with so well.”

“Wanda, she's really changed,” Pietro insists. “I've been telling you this.”

“I know, I know,” Wanda says, sounding a bit apologetic. “I'm sorry it's taken me this long to pay attention.”

“Hey, no worries,” Pietro says, giving her a gentle look. “You know what they say, right? Everything happens in its own time.”

After a beat, Pietro asks, “How are you and Y/N?”

“We're doing well, actually,” Wanda says, surprise softening her voice as if she's just realizing it herself. “Y/N has been... different. More open. More like the person I fell in love with. We're communicating more, which helps.”

“That's great to hear, Wanda. Really.”

“But,” she adds, her voice dropping to a murmur, “I still feel like there's a part of Y/N holding back. Like she’s still not fully trusting me... and I get it. I just... I hope that with time, that changes.”

Pietro smiles at her, nodding, then returns his attention to the road. 

“And you and Shannon?” Wanda asks after it gets too quiet again. “How are things going?”

A shadow passes over Pietro's features, and he takes a deep breath before answering. “Actually... something happened. It's not bad, per se. But…”

“What did you do, Piet?” Wanda asks, her brows already pulled together into a frown.

“Why do you automatically assume it was me who did something?” Pietro retorts with a hint of amusement.

“Didn't you?”

Pietro hesitates for a moment before finally relenting, “...Yeah, I did.”

“So?”

“Well, about a week ago, I went out to a bar with a few friends from my old college football team, and I–”

“Tell me you did not cheat again on your pregnant wife!” Wanda exclaims, her voice rife with disbelief and anger.

With her sudden outburst, Pietro slams on the brakes, the vehicle screeching to a halt in the middle of the road. His arm aches sharply from the force of Wanda's indignant punch.

“Ow! Hey, stop,” Pietro shields himself from Wanda’s onslaught. “Jesus, Wands, I didn’t cheat on her, okay?”

Hearing this, Wanda pulls back, sinking back into her seat with a wary look on her face. She waits for him to explain further. He starts steering the car back into the highway again. 

“I was just…” Pietro grapples for the right words, his expression troubled. “The therapy sessions with Dr. Williams... they've been beneficial, right? I mean, they've definitely helped you. And Shannon says they're making a difference for me too, but I…”

“But you still doubt yourself,” Wanda finishes his sentence, her voice laced with understanding.

Pietro affirms her statement with a heavy nod. “So that night, I thought I'd try a little experiment–see if I've really made as much progress as everyone says. I struck up a conversation with a woman at the bar, and before I knew it, we were flirting. It was like slipping back into an old rhythm–and it didn't matter to her that I was a married man.” 

A bitter edge creeps into his voice as he pauses, gazing absently at the road ahead. “Then I offered to drive her home...that's usually when things take a turn, isn't it?”

Wanda recoils slightly, her nose scrunching up in distaste. The direction this story is taking leaves a sour taste in her mouth. She's uncomfortable, disturbed even, by the idea of Pietro willingly steering himself towards temptation like that. It feels too real, too human–a crisp reminder that making progress doesn't mean you're immune to setbacks.

“Right as she put her hand on my lap,” Pietro recounts, his throat tightening slightly as he swallows. “I understood that time spent in therapy doesn't just automatically make you a better person. It's the choices you make, every single day. Loving someone, being true to them...it's a conscious effort, day in and day out. You have to continuously choose them, especially when the sailing's smooth.”

Wanda absorbs his words, feeling the truth in them echo within her. She doesn't entertain any illusions about the two of you riding off blissfully into the sunset without a care in the world. Reality is far from that. Both you and her would always have to remain vigilant. Complacency, she knows, can be her worst enemy.

Wanda waits with bated breath. “What happened next?” she whispers.

He turns his gaze back to the road. “I moved her hand away from my lap and took her home, just like I said I would. Nothing more.”

“And did you tell Shannon about this?” Wanda asks, her voice steady, almost clinical.

Pietro’s grip on the steering wheel tightens. “Yeah, I did. The morning after. I didn’t want to keep it from her.”

Wanda's heart aches for her brother. Maybe he's truly attempting to become a better person, even if his methods are foolish at times. 

“And how did she react?”

Pietro shrugs, attempting to mask his apprehension with a nonchalant demeanor. “She was... understandably upset. But she appreciated the honesty, I think. We're still working through it.”

Wanda silently reflects on his words. She can't imagine herself taking such a risk, not after everything that's happened. It isn't about doubting her own commitment or strength of character, but she feels it's a mark of respect to you not to willingly tread near the edge of temptation.

With a soft sigh, she turns her attention to the road ahead as they pull into the Christmas tree farm. The task of picking out a tree seems almost trivial in comparison to what they had just discussed, yet it also feels grounding—a joyful tradition amidst the complexities of life. For now, they have a Christmas tree to pick out.

Taglist: @canvascoloredin | @justgotlizzied , @casquinhaa | @marvelwomen-simp | @sunsol-22 | @wandanatlov3r | @kyaraderuwez | @justyourwritter69 | @stanolsevans | @aliherreraaa | @diaryoflife| @justagurlwholikes | @lizziesplant | @cowxpoke | @sokovianbaby| @swiftie1-0-1 | @scarlettbitchx | @tercerspirit-22

[he-is-lightning-in-a-bottle]

POLL TAG- FIVE FAVORITE CHARACTERS

tagged by @wen-kexing-apologist.

Challenge: make a poll with five of your all time favorite characters, and then tag five people to do the same. See which character is everyone's favorite.

I am choosing to limit myself to BL characters because otherwise we'd have a Will Graham (an unhinged FBI profiler in Hannibal) vs Yu Ji Ho (the boundary-respecting pharmacist single dad in One Spring Night) vs Bart (the Universe-appointed holistic assassin in Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency) vs Benjamin Sisko (the legendary single dad and captain of the space station in Star Trek Deep Space Nine) type of situation going on.

The Spiel - IN DEFENSE OF MY FAVES

Nozue (Old Fashion Cupcake)

Everyone's favorite boss with a heart of gold, this 39yo repressed hottie could flirt like a pro. My favorite thing about him is that he experienced utterly transformative character growth without having to experience severe pain (a breakup, a loved one's death, job loss, rejection, etc). He just looked at where he was standing and... stepped left.

Kakeru (I Cannot Reach You)

My boy learned his childhood bestie had a crush on him and did not flee in terror. Instead he faced it and asked for patience and examined his feelings and treated the potential change in their relationship as seriously as it deserved to be treated because the request came from someone he loved. Clearly, this is a boy who knows how to spell R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

Wei Qian (Unknown)

He stepped up and raised his younger sibling when their druggie mother died, then added an adoptee into the mix. And he cared for them so profoundly that they had relatively normal childhoods despite being orphans. Yet this softie was tough enough to be a gang enforcer, and then smart enough to get a college degree, and then competent enough to co-create a successful startup. Like what kind of super hero bullshit is he on?

Karan (Cherry Magic, Thailand)

A competent and talented employee, and he's a total simp who looks great in or out of a suit? Sign me up for his tender loving care, y'all. I literally melted into a puddle of goo every time we saw a glimpse of his very earnest yet sweet fantasies. He just wants to take care of his boo!

Iwanaga (Love Is Better The Second Time Around)

I confess he's here mostly because he's eye candy. (Well that and recency bias, because if we're really talking about my favorite eye candy, it'd be Porsche from Kinnporsche without a second's hesitation.) But roll with me here, please? This man can fuck! And fuck so well he pissed off the love of his life! And all the men in town are dropping for him like flies. They get one hint of a taste of his juice and they're down bad! They're hooked. They're his. He is legendary. He is epic. He knows how to work his angles and his puppy dog eyes! And he's also talented and wealthy and considerate to boot.

***

Most of my mutuals have probably played already, but if you care to go again or want an excuse to play by different rules, please consider yourself tagged. Also I'm tagging some of you just in case you haven't done it yet because tbh I haven't been paying that close of attention to my dash this week: @absolutebl, @syrinth, @dean-you-assbutt-cas-loves-you, @lurkingshan, @bengiyo, @chickenstrangers, @thequeenofsastiel, @tiggymalvern, @spicyvampire, @my-rose-tinted-glasses, @wanderlust-in-my-soul, @twig-tea, @telomeke, @guzhu-furen, @gunsatthaphan, @lymeandcoconut, @itwoodbeprefect, @shortpplfedup

[kyleoreillylover]

Forgiveness

Sami Zayn x Fem!Black!Reader

Summary: After Sami leaves the Bloodline, he begs for your forgiveness, after weeks of you avoiding him and refusing to work with him again. But Sami wouldn't be Sami if he gave up, and after he lays it all on the line⎯ for better or for worse⎯ he begs for your forgiveness in a different way.

tagged: @southerngirl41 @venusesworld @jeysbae @reci1996 @tbonesteakwithasideofmashngrav @hope4more-blog @selena-tyler-564@saintaquarius @whatdoeseverybodywant @raya-hunter01@empressdede

word count:8,286

setting: around late march 2023

warnings: smut!!

a/n: not really my best work but I love Sami, got inspired by him nd Kevin's storyline, and worked hard on this so here I am posting it. Hope ya'll enjoy!! (also gif doesn't resemble reader, just a aesthetic for the fic, imagine the reader however you want!)

The sun setting on the horizon made for a beautiful view, but Sami couldn't take his eyes off of you as he raced to catch up with you.

You looked gorgeous even while angry. You wore a frown on your face and a hoodie that clung to your figure, the soft fabric swaying with each step you took.

"Wait, Y/N, wait!" He called after you as you reached your car, ignoring him and unlocking the trunk, trying to put your luggage away. Sami grabbed your arm gently, trying to get your attention.

"Please, just hear me out," he pleaded, his voice filled with urgency and sincerity.

You turned to face him, your expression a mix of frustration and curiosity. "Let me guess, Kevin didn't hear you out so you saw fit to come after me instead?" you retorted, your tone sharp yet tinged with vulnerability.

Sami's eyes softened as he took in your words. "I know you're upset, and you have every right to be. But please, just hear me out," he implored, his gaze locking with yours.

"I gave you how many months to leave the Bloodline and then you chose them over me! And now you expect me to listen to whatever excuse you have?" You snapped, your voice trembling with hurt and betrayal.

"Just do what you do best and leave me alone." Your words hung heavy in the air, thick with emotion as you shut your car trunk forcefully, signaling the finality of your decision.

Sami took a step back, his heart sinking at your words. He knew he had hurt you deeply, and the weight of his choices pressed heavily on his shoulders. But he couldn't give up without one last try. He would never give up on you. "Y/N, please," he pleaded again, his voice barely above a whisper. "I know I messed up, but⎯"

"But what?" You interrupted, your voice filled with a mixture of anger and pain. "There's nothing left to say, Sami. You made your choice."

Sami took a deep breath, gathering his thoughts as he looked into your eyes, seeing the hurt reflected back at him. "But I made the wrong choice, Y/N. I was blinded by loyalty, by the promises they made. But I see now that none of it matters if I don't have you by my side," he confessed, his voice trembling with sincerity.

You shook your head, tears welling up in your eyes. "It's too late, Sami. I'm not sure I can trust you anymore," you whispered, your voice barely audible over the sound of your racing heart.

Sami reached out, his hand trembling as he tried to brush away a tear from your cheek, but you flinched away, your heart still raw from the pain he had caused. "I understand if you can't forgive me right away. But please, give me a chance to make things right," he pleaded, his voice filled with desperation.

He wanted to tell you how he really felt about you, but he didn't want to scare you away when you are already being so hostile. "We can defeat the Bloodline together, we don't even have to be friends, we can just work together, but I know that we can beat them if we're united."

You stared at him, and Sami's heart hurt when he saw even more pain and hurt flash across your face. You scoffed, sarcastically chuckling at his suggestion. "Work together?" Your voice cracked with emotion, the pain of betrayal still fresh in your heart.

"Yes, work together," Sami affirmed, his voice unwavering despite the uncertainty in your gaze. "I know it won't be easy, and I know I don't deserve your trust right now. But I'm willing to do whatever it takes to earn it back. I'll prove to you that I'm on your side, that I'm committed to fighting against the Bloodline and protecting you."

You studied him for a moment, and you bit your lip, willing the tears to stay at bay. The ache in your chest was almost suffocating, and Sami's concern grew tenfold at seeing you in such distress. "Please, Y/N," he pleaded softly, his eyes pleading for forgiveness. "Give me a chance to make things right. I'll do whatever it takes to earn back your trust, to show you that my loyalty lies with you."

You pushed his hand away gently, taking a step back as you processed his words. The air was heavy with tension, and the fading sunlight cast long shadows across the pavement. Sami's eyes bore into yours, searching for any sign of hope.

"Why would I want to work with someone who doesn't even wanna be my friend?" You paused, your voice wavering as you struggled to articulate the storm of emotions raging inside you. "You don't even want to be my friend, Sami. You just want to use me to beat the Bloodline," you accused, the bitterness evident in your tone.

Sami's brain shut down at your words, his heart sinking even further at the realization of how much he had hurt you. He had been so consumed by his own guilt and fear that he had failed to realize he went about this the wrong way. He didn't ask if you still wanted to be his friend, he simply assumed that you would be willing to work together solely based on your shared enemy.

He had been so focused on convincing you to join his cause that he had neglected the most important thing: your feelings. And he knew you deserved more than that.

"Y/N, that's not true," he protested, his voice pleading as he took a step closer to you.

"Oh really? Then what is true, Sami?" you challenged, your voice laced with skepticism. "Enlighten me, because from where I'm standing, it seems like you only care about yourself and your vendetta against the Bloodline."

Sami's heart sank further at the harshness of your words, but he knew he deserved every bit of it. He had been selfish, so consumed by his own anger and guilt that he had failed to see the pain he had caused you. And now, standing before you, he realized just how much he had lost by pushing you away.

"I know I've made mistakes, Y/N," Sami began, his voice heavy with remorse. "And I'm sorry. I've been so focused on trying to make things right that I lost sight of what truly matters: you."

He took a deep breath, steeling himself for what he was about to say next. "I don't just want to defeat the Bloodline. I want to protect you, to make sure you're safe. And if that means putting aside our differences and working together, then I'm willing to do it. But not just as allies, Y/N. As friends."

You looked at him, searching his eyes for any hint of deception, but all you found was sincerity. His words echoed in your mind, and you felt the walls you had built around your heart begin to crumble. Could you really trust him again after everything that had happened?

Sami held his breath, waiting for your response, his heart pounding in his chest. He knew he had hurt you deeply, and he would understand if you couldn't forgive him. But he hoped, with every fiber of his being, that you would give him another chance.

Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes as you gazed into Sami's earnest eyes, seeing the vulnerability and regret reflected back at you. Despite the pain he had caused, there was something in his plea that resonated with you, something that made you want to believe in the possibility of redemption.

Then you opened your car door, the same frown from earlier still etched on your face, but the anger had softened into a weary resignation. "Then go ask Jey, your new bestie, for forgiveness because I don't know if I can give it to you," you glared at him, looking up at him through teary eyes. "Or go ask Cody for help since he seems to be your go-to these days."

Sami's heart sank as your words pierced through him like daggers. He had lost your trust, and he knew that mending it would be an uphill battle. But he wasn't ready to give up on you, not when you meant more to him than anything else in the world.

You went to go inside the car, but Sami gently reached out and placed his hand on the car door, stopping you from closing it.

"Y/N, please," he pleaded softly, his voice barely above a whisper. "I know I've made mistakes, and I can't change the past. But I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make things right between us. Please, don't shut me out."

You felt your resolve starting to crumble, so you paused, taking a deep breath to steady yourself. Sami's touch sent a shiver down your spine, a bittersweet reminder of the connection you once shared. Despite your anger and hurt, a part of you still longed for the comfort of his presence.

"Sami, move." You tried to push the car door closed, but Sami's grip tightened slightly, preventing you from shutting him out completely.

"I'm still your best friend, I'm still the same guy that you used to confide in, lean on, and laugh with. The guy you love is back." Sami said softly, his voice laced with emotion.

"I don't even want that version of you anymore, Sami. I don't want anything to do with you." " you whispered, your voice trembling with emotion. "So go back and beg Roman for forgiveness, I'm sure he'll listen to you. Or better yet, go find a new ally in the Bloodline. Because as far as I'm concerned, you made your choice."

With that, you managed to push the car door closed, leaving Sami standing alone in the fading light, his heart heavy with regret and longing.

Sami's heart shattered at your words, the weight of his mistakes bearing down on him like a heavy burden. He had lost you, the person who meant everything to him, and he didn't know if he could live with that regret.

"Y/N!" He banged against your car door, desperation evident in his voice as tears welled up in his eyes. He moved in front of the car, causing you to roll down the windows and glare at him. "Sami, I might hate you but I'm not gonna hit you with my car," you snapped, your voice sharp with anger and frustration. "So move!"

"No!"

"Why can't you just let me go?!" It was 6 simple little words, but it finally pushed Sami to admit what he thought you'd deserved to know, what he hoped would stop you from leaving him for good.

"Because I'm in love with you!"

The car came to a complete stop as Sami's words hung in the air, the weight of his confession sinking in. You stared at him in disbelief, your heart racing in your chest as you struggled to comprehend what he had just said.

"What?" you whispered, your voice barely audible over the pounding of your heart.

"I'm in love with you," Sami repeated, his voice trembling with raw emotion. "I have been for so long, but I was too afraid to admit it. I let my fear and insecurities cloud my judgment, and I pushed you away when all I wanted was to hold you close and never let go."

You sat there, stunned into silence as Sami's words washed over you like a tidal wave. The truth of his feelings hit you like a ton of bricks, shattering the walls you had built around your heart.

You had never expected Sami to admit something so vulnerable, so raw, and yet here he was, baring his soul to you in the fading light of the sunset. You never thought the guy who you have loved for so long would have the courage to confess his feelings, especially after everything that had happened between you.

Sami's heart was in his throat as he waited for your response, his hands shaking with anticipation. He had bared his soul to you, laid his heart on the line, and now all he could do was hope and pray that you felt the same way.

The tension between you was palpable, the air heavy with unspoken words and unresolved emotions. Sami's heart was racing a mile a minute, his entire being hanging on your next words.

"If you are just saying that to manipulate me to helping you with the Bloodline, I swear to god, Sami⎯" you started, your voice trembling with a mixture of disbelief and hope

"I swear on everything I hold dear, Y/N," Sami interjected, his voice filled with sincerity. "I'm not lying to you. I love you with every fiber of my being, and I always will. I know I don't deserve your forgiveness, especially after everything I've done, but I had to tell you the truth. I couldn't live with myself if I didn't."

Your brain was reeling, trying to process Sami's confession. The sincerity in his voice was unmistakable, and you found yourself torn between the pain of his betrayal and the longing in your heart for the love you had always secretly wished for.

You looked into his eyes, searching for any hint of deceit, but all you found was raw honesty and vulnerability. You felt your heart constrict at his words, torn between the love you still harbored for him and the pain he had caused you.

But deep down, you knew that despite the hurt and anger, you couldn't deny the love you still felt for Sami. Could you trust him again? Could you open your heart to him after everything that had happened?

"I…." You struggled to find the right words, your mind swirling with conflicting emotions. You yelped when the car suddenly jerked forward, the engine roaring to life as you inadvertently pressed on the gas pedal in your confusion.

Sami stumbled backward, his heart pounding in his chest as he watched you fumble with the car controls, shutting down your car and bringing it to a halt. The sudden jolt snapped you out of your thoughts, and you looked at Sami with wide eyes, realization dawning on you.

"Y/N, please," Sami pleaded, rushing back to the car door. "I know I've dropped a bombshell on you, and I understand if you need time to process it. But please, don't leave me. I need you."

You took a deep breath, trying to steady your racing heart. The air in the car felt heavy with the weight of Sami's confession, and you hesitated before finally speaking. "Get in the car," you said quietly, unlocking the doors.

Sami's eyes widened in surprise, a mix of hope and disbelief crossing his face. "W-What?" he stammered, not daring to believe what he had just heard.

"Get in the car, Sami," you repeated, your voice softer this time. The vulnerability in Sami's eyes tugged at your heart, and despite the pain, you couldn't ignore the love that still lingered between you.

Sami didn't waste a second. He opened the car door and slid into the passenger seat, his eyes never leaving yours. The car was filled with a tense silence as you both processed the whirlwind of emotions that had unfolded in the past few minutes.

"I don't know if I can forgive you, Sami," you admitted, your voice breaking. "But I also can't deny that I still love you."

Sami's eyes filled with tears, and he reached out to gently cup your face. "I will spend every day of the rest of my life proving to you that I'm worthy of your love, Y/N. I promise."

Your hand trembled as you placed it over Sami's, feeling the warmth of his touch. The air was thick with emotion, and for a moment, time seemed to stand still. The weight of the past, the pain, the betrayal, and the love hung in the air, creating a complex tapestry that neither of you could easily unravel.

"Kiss me." You felt the words escape your lips, surprising even yourself. The intensity of the moment, the raw emotions, and Sami's confession had left you yearning for a connection that transcended the pain.

Sami's eyes widened in astonishment, a mix of joy and relief spreading across his face. Without a moment's hesitation, he leaned in, closing the distance between you. His lips met yours in a tender kiss, a fusion of longing and remorse. The world outside the car seemed to disappear as you lost yourself in the bittersweet taste of reconciliation.

You groaned into Sami's lips as his arm wrapped around you, pulling you closer. You gingerly brought your hand to his hair, experimentally pulling the soft strands, and Sami let out a low groan at the sensation.

You pulled again, and he deepened the kiss, the taste of salty tears mingling with the sweetness of the moment, each moment a silent promise of a new beginning.

You needed his hands on you, touching you everywhere, needed his eyes to convey the sincerity of his love. You've waited years to feel his touch, and months to have him back in your life, and you didn't want to wait any longer.

You broke the kiss, panting heavily as you sat up and moved to Sami's lap, his hands helping you find a comfortable position. The car's interior was filled with the soft glow of the dashboard lights, casting a warm ambiance that matched the newfound warmth between you and Sami.

Sami looked up at you, breath taken away by your beauty in the new light, your eyes filled with a mixture of love, vulnerability, and a hint of mischief. He couldn't believe that you were here, in his arms, after everything that had transpired.

"I love you, Y/N," Sami whispered, his voice filled with sincerity and awe as he cupped your face in his hands. "I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you, proving that you're the only one I want."

You smiled, a mixture of emotions playing on your lips. "You have a lot of making up to do, Sami Zayn," you teased, your tone light but with a twinkle in your eyes. "But I love you too, even though I should probably be mad at you."

Sami chuckled, a genuine sound of relief escaping him. "I'll take it. I'll make it up to you every day, I promise." He pressed a kiss to your lips, gentle at first, but neither of you could resist the magnetic pull, and soon the kiss deepened into a passionate exchange of shared emotions and promises. The car became a cocoon of love, a sanctuary where past wounds were starting to heal.

Your hands were everywhere; on Sami's shoulders, tangled in his hair, tracing the lines of his face as if trying to memorize every detail. Sami's hands, equally eager, explored the curve of your waist, the small of your back, as if he, too, was afraid this moment might slip away.

"You're mine." You kissed Sami's neck, your voice a whisper against his skin. "All mine. No Bloodline, no Jey, you're all mine."

Sami smiled against your lips, savoring the possessiveness in your words. He realized what some of the hurt you were feeling was stemming from. "You're jealous of Jey." He licked his lips, his eyes locked with yours, a sight that made you feel a surge of desire coursing through your veins.

You nodded, unable to deny the twinge of jealousy that had gnawed at your heart when Sami mentioned his newfound closeness with Jey. "I was," you admitted, your voice tinged with vulnerability. "But I know I have no right to be, you can be with whoever you want to be with."

You sighed, trying to push away the insecurity that lingered in the corners of your mind. "I bet you had all of them lining up to be with you."

"Y/N, look at me." When you didn't respond immediately, Sami gently tilted your chin up, making sure your eyes met his. "I don't want anyone else, and I never did. Yes, I had offers, but I politely declined because my heart belonged to you. I might have been foolish, blinded by misplaced loyalties, but my love for you never wavered."

You searched Sami's eyes, finding a sincerity that melted away the last traces of doubt in your heart. "You better not be saying this to sweet-talk your way out of trouble," you teased, a playful glint in your eyes.

Sami chuckled, his forehead pressed against yours. “I’m pretty sure you would see through any sweet-talk, wouldn't you?" he said, his voice filled with affection. "I mean every word, Y/N. You're the one I want, now and always."

You grinned, a mixture of relief and happiness flooding your heart. "Well, you've got a lot of proving to do, Sami Zayn. Starting by kissing me like you mean it." You tilted your head, a mischievous smile playing on your lips.

Sami didn't need a second invitation. He captured your lips in a passionate kiss, pouring all the love and longing he felt into the moment. The car became a cocoon of shared desires, a sanctuary where past wounds were gradually replaced by the promise of a new beginning.

You slipped your tongue into his mouth, the taste of his kiss awakening a hunger that had been dormant for too long. Sami responded eagerly, deepening the kiss as if trying to convey all the emotions he couldn't put into words. The air around you crackled with the intensity of the connection, a magnetic force pulling you both into a realm where only the present moment mattered.

It felt addictive. Sami felt addictive, his touch, his kiss, the way he held you—everything about him was a drug you couldn't get enough of. And in that moment, you both surrendered to the powerful currents of love, forgiveness, and desire.

You grinded against Sami's lap, the friction sending shivers down your spine. His hands gripped your waist, fingers digging into your skin as you continued grinding against his lower half.

The car's windows began to fog up, the heat between you and Sami intensifying with each passing second. It was a dance of passion and longing, a physical manifestation of the emotions that had been bottled up for too long.

Sami's breath hitched as he broke the kiss, his eyes locking with yours. The intensity in his gaze spoke volumes, a silent promise of devotion and commitment. "I love you, Y/N," he whispered, his voice husky with desire.

"I love you too, Sami," you replied, your voice equally breathless. The weight of the past seemed to lift off your shoulders, replaced by the intoxicating energy of the present moment. "And I need you, right now."

You felt the slow creeping of lust overcoming the remnants of hurt and anger as your eyes never felt Sami. His dark jacket was deliciously disheveled from your passionate encounter, and the tousled hair added to his allure.

Sami smiled at your words, a mixture of love and desire in his eyes. He leaned in to capture your lips once more, the hunger between you escalating.

You swirled your tongue across Sami's lips, eliciting moans and sighs from him. Your body arched toward him, pressing your chest to his, reveling in the feel of his strong embrace. A sense of belonging and love washed over you, replacing the lingering anxiety and guilt that had plagued you since you were both at odds.

He responded by kissing you hungrily, his lips caressing yours as if they would never leave your skin. You felt the need for him grow, desperate for the contact that had been denied for so long.

The heat between you intensified as your hands wandered from his hair to his hips, gripping onto the material of his jacket, desperately seeking more friction.

"Take your jacket off," you whispered against his lips, your voice filled with a mixture of desire and urgency. Sami complied, shrugging off his jacket and tossing it aside. The cool air against his exposed skin sent a shiver down his spine, but the warmth of your body against his quickly erased any lingering chill.

Your hands traced the contours of his chest, feeling the steady rise and fall with each ragged breath. Sami's fingers worked skillfully to unbutton your hoodie, revealing the soft curves of your body underneath. You still had your gear on, the purple fabric clinging to your form, a stark contrast to the heated passion that enveloped you both.

"You look incredible," Sami breathed, his eyes roaming over your body with admiration. He couldn't believe he was here, with you, after everything that had transpired.

"I'd look even better with your hands all over me," you teased, a playful glint in your eyes. Sami chuckled, his fingers deftly working to remove your hoodie, revealing the warmth of your skin underneath.

The air in the car was thick with desire as you both surrendered to the magnetic pull between you. Sami's lips left yours, trailing a path of kisses down your neck, his warm breath sending shivers through your body. The car became a haven of shared desire, the world outside forgotten as you lost yourselves in the intimate dance of love and longing.

Your fingers tangled in Sami's hair, urging him to explore more, to deepen the connection between you. His hands, skilled and gentle, traced the curves of your body, leaving a trail of fire in their wake. The air was thick with the scent of passion, and the car windows were now completely fogged up, shielding your private moment from the outside world. Thank god for tinted windows.

Sami's lips found yours again, the intensity of the kiss deepening as the hunger for each other grew. The car's interior was filled with the sound of ragged breaths, moans, and the soft rustling of clothes being discarded.

Your hand found the chair's lever, reclining the seat to create more space. Sami eagerly moved with you, the seat accommodating your desire for closeness. He laid you on top of him, his body cradling yours in a sweet fusion of warmth and desire.

The air around you crackled with the shared anticipation, the world outside the car ceasing to exist as you both succumbed to the magnetic pull that bound you together.

"Are…" You kept kissing Sami's sentences away, taking off his pants in the process, making him moan in pleasure. Sami's hands were equally busy, exploring every inch of your body with a gentle yet passionate touch.

"You..." "…sure about this?" Sami managed to speak between kisses, his voice a low, husky whisper that sent shivers down your spine. He wanted to make sure you were both on the same page, that this wasn't just a moment of shared desire but a choice made with a clear mind.

You nodded, locking eyes with him, your gaze filled with a mix of love and longing. "I've never been more sure about anything in my life," you replied, your voice filled with determination. "Now, are you gonna keep talking, or are you gonna show me just how much you've missed me?" you teased, a playful glint in your eyes.

Sami's response was a deep, passionate kiss that left no room for further words. The car became a cocoon of shared desire, the world outside fading away as you and Sami surrendered to the intoxicating energy of the moment.

"Take off that gear." Sami whispered, his voice filled with a primal hunger. You complied, slowly peeling off the last of the purple fabric, revealing the soft curves of your body. Sami's eyes devoured the sight, a mixture of awe and desire reflecting in his gaze.

"You are absolutely breathtaking," Sami whispered, his voice filled with reverence as he traced his fingertips along the contours of your body. The car's interior was filled with the soft glow of the dashboard lights, casting a warm ambiance that matched the newfound warmth between you and Sami.

"Oh, Sami," you sighed his name, the anticipation building between you two. He hovered over you, his eyes locking with yours, seeking permission and reassurance. You nodded, a silent agreement passing between you. With that, Sami sealed the promise with a deep, soulful kiss.

You straddled his lap, your body flush against his, feeling his hot breath caress your face. You felt his heart racing wildly, as if he was running away from an impending apocalypse.

Sami gazed up at you in adoration, his eyes brimming with sincerity, his arms wrapped tightly around you as he nuzzled against your shoulder. He stared at you with such tenderness and affection that even your heart swelled with happiness. "You're perfect," Sami mumbled as his hand went to your chest, tracing a delicate pattern over your rapidly beating heart.

He leaned forward, capturing your mouth once more in another searing kiss. You returned his kiss with equal fervor, letting the emotions inside you take control.

This time it was Sami who led, and you gave Sami the lead as his kisses became increasingly hungry. His tongue swept into your mouth as his hand tweaked your nipple, causing you to gasp and shudder beneath him.

"Fuck," Sami groaned, biting harshly into your lip before sucking it between his teeth.

Was this man trying to kill you before he even got to the main event? The intensity of the moment heightened, the air heavy with the scent of desire. Your hands found their way to Sami's shoulders, fingers digging into the muscles as you let out a low moan.

"Don't tease." You pleaded, your voice a breathy whisper against Sami's lips. His hands continued their exploration, trailing down your sides and over your hips, leaving a trail of fire in their wake.

Sami chuckled, the sound a mixture of desire and amusement. "I thought you liked a little tease," he whispered, his lips brushing against your earlobe. The sensation sent shivers down your spine, and you couldn't help but arch into his touch.

"I like it when it leads to something more," you replied, your voice husky with desire. Sami's fingers traced the waistband of your panties, teasingly pulling at the fabric. The anticipation in the air was palpable, the desire between you reaching a fever pitch.

With a swift motion, Sami removed your panties, his eyes locking with yours as he discarded the last barrier between you. The intensity of the moment held you both in its grip, a shared hunger that had been building for far too long.

You always told him how you couldn't stand when he looked at you like you were the only person in the world, but in this moment, you felt like it was true. Sami's gaze was filled with nothing but love and desire, his eyes tracing every curve and contour of your body as if committing them to memory.

"Are you ready?" Sami whispered, his voice a soft caress against your skin. You nodded, unable to find the words to express the longing and anticipation that consumed you.

With trembling hands, Sami guided himself to your entrance, the sensation sending a jolt of pleasure through your body. You gasped as he slowly entered you, the feeling of fullness overwhelming in the best possible way.

You need this. Needed the connection, the intimacy, the reassurance that despite the tumultuous journey, you and Sami were finally back in each other's arms. The car became a sanctuary of shared desire, the soft moans and sighs filling the air as your bodies moved in perfect harmony as you rode him.

Sami felt the same overwhelming rush of emotions, his heart pounding in sync with yours. The sensation of being intimately connected with you, of finally bridging the gap that had grown between you, was like a balm to his wounded soul.

He watched as your face contorted with pleasure, the tension in your body slowly giving way to ecstasy. Every moan, every sigh that escaped your lips fueled the fire within him, driving him to match your rhythm, to lose himself in the shared passion.

But you needed more than what Sami was giving you. Your heels dug into the car's seat as you arched your back, silently asking for more. "Sami, faster, please." you moaned, your voice a desperate plea.

Sami smiled at your request, his love-filled eyes locking with yours. He adjusted his pace, picking up speed and intensity. You moaned out unabashedly as he responded to your request, the new rhythm sending waves of pleasure through your body.

"Fuck! Keep going, Sami," you urged, your voice a breathless plea. You dug your nails into his back, the sensation only adding to the intensity of the moment.

"Like this?" Sami whispered, his voice a low growl as he gripped your hips to increase his thrusts. He never thought he would see you like this- a pure angel in his eyes- trusting him with your pleasure, trusting him to love you just as much as you love him

"Yes, oh God yes!" A pleasured cry escaped your lips, your head falling onto Sami's shoulder as he hit your sweet spot with each thrust. sweet spot with each thrust. The car's suspension creaked in response to your passionate entanglement, the rhythmic sounds of your moans and Sami's grunts filling the confined space.

You were lucky that no one else was around to witness the passionate symphony unfolding inside the car. The windows were still fogged up, concealing the intimate scene between you and Sami.

It was fast, hard and , and intense. The car rocked with the rhythm of your bodies colliding, the heated air inside the car reflecting the fiery passion that consumed you both. You couldn't get enough of him: your hands roaming over his torso, his lips, his face, his neck.

Each touch, each kiss, every movement sent electric shocks down your veins, your mind clouding with pleasure, your heartbeat echoing throughout the whole car. It was almost like all you could hear was the sound of your own breathing, everything else seemed to melt away;

You gingerly scratched at his back, testing how his skin would react. He moaned and twisted under your fingertips, his eyes drifting shut. You felt him tighten his grip on you, bringing your bodies closer together and deepening the kiss.

The feel of his tongue against yours was addicting, and his thrusts were fast yet gentle, matching your own frantic pace perfectly. The feeling of his bare body against your skin sent tingles coursing through you; Sami's strong hands holding you steady, his lips moving slowly, sensually, making you feel like you belonged, making you feel like the queen he claimed you to be.

The taste of his arousal mixed with your own, your own tongue exploring his lips and the taste of the saltiness of his sweat, both sensations sending you spiraling into euphoria.

All that was left to do was to reach climax. It wouldn't be long now, and the urgency in your bodies begged for release.

"Are you close?" Sami asked, breaking the kiss, saliva mingling on your lips as he spoke, feeling you tremble underneath his touch. You bit at the corner of your lips, your head thrown back as your hands clawed at his back. Your entire body shook with need, your thighs clamped tightly around his hips as your body quivered and strained for release. He could tell how much you wanted to cum - how much you loved and craved for the release.

"Yes," you breathed out, feeling yourself nearing the edge. You kissed down his neck, trying to get him to move faster, to cum before your body betrayed you completely.

Your hands grasped handfuls of his hair as you tried to hold yourself together, your cries of need muffled against his neck as you bit his flesh lightly, eliciting an incoherent whine from deep within him.

Sami realized what you were trying to do and immediately began to move faster, thrusting his hips into your core as he brought his fingers down to your clit, flicking your little bundle of nerves, making you gasp with pleasure and write uncontrollably.

"You first." Sami panted. The heat in his eyes had increased tenfold, a burning lustful glare directed straight at you. You had that same lustful fire in your eyes, as if the two of you were one being, a single entity in a state of frenzy.

You went to argue, but he silenced your words with a kiss, his lips moving in synchrony as he thrust himself deeper into you.

You moaned out uncontrollably as you wrapped your legs around Sami, grinding against his hardness until your inner walls clamped around it, pulsating around his finger tips. The combination of Sami's hot body thrusting into you and the delicious feeling of your release looming made you want more and more, wanting to experience every aspect of his touch.

"Sami, I'm going…" Your sentence trailed off with another sharp intake of breath against Sami's neck as Sami began thrusting harder and faster into your body. "I'm going to cum soon." you cried out again, grabbing ahold of his shoulders and squeezing them tight, the pleasure growing more prominent by the second.

"I know." Sami's voice was thick with raw emotion, his eyes locked with yours. "I know baby," he murmured, his fingers tightening their grip on your hips.

Sami pulled away from your mouth just long enough to press a quick kiss to your lips, his forehead resting gently against yours. You couldn't keep your gaze off of his face, drinking in the sight of him, his beautiful face lit with happiness and satisfaction.

His eyes glistened with unshed tears as he stared back at you, his expression so tender and warm that your heart clenched painfully at the thought of him crying because of you.

"Why are you crying?" You managed to grit out despite the knot forming in your throat, unable to contain the emotions that welled up inside of you at the thought of Sami crying because of you. "Did I hurt you?"

Sami chuckled at the thought of you trying to inflict pain on him when he was the reason behind the torment that you felt. He shook his head no, leaning forward to kiss your lips again. "No, I just love you so much," he murmured against your lips, pressing his forehead against yours once again. "And I can't believe you're here, my love, that you chose me… That you accepted me back."

His voice broke slightly as he said those last few words, his gaze turning distant as he lost himself in his thoughts, but you didn't let him go without putting an end to the silence. With a soft hand placed on his cheek, you guided his gaze towards you, your own tearful eyes sparkling with joy, love and admiration shining brightly from within.

You reached up and cupped his cheek tenderly, bringing your lips together once again in a passionate kiss, partly because you didn't want him to stop and partly because you felt the desire to commit every detail of his gorgeous face to memory.

As your kisses became hungrier and less controlled, Sami's hands started moving from your waist to your breasts, cupping your nipples and squeezing gently, causing you to involuntarily moan. He moved to place a gentle kiss along your jawline, continuing to suckle on your ear lobe.

"I would always choose you, Sami. You could hurt me a thousand times but I'd always forgive and choose you," you whimpered, your chest rising and falling quickly with every harsh breath. "You're my life. You make me happy. You make me laugh. You take care of me. You give me hope."

With each word you spoke, Sami continued to press small kisses all over your jaw and neck, your body begging for his attention, for completion, his thrusts growing more urgent, strong and forceful. "You're my happiness…my happiness," you repeated, the warmth building inside of you reaching its boiling point. "And I'm not letting you go ever again."

You gasped as Sami suddenly pressed you against the car window with such force you knew that you would never forget the searing coldness against your heated skin, and thurstred his cock deep inside of you. You cried out, your muscles contracting violently around his cock, your hands gripping onto his back desperately. "I love you too, so so much."

You closed your eyes, savoring the moment; savouring the feeling of pure bliss engulfing your body; savouring the feel of his fingers rubbing soothing circles across the exposed skin of your stomach; savouring his free hand rubbing your swollen clit and making you throb even more with each passing minute.

He was making you feel like you were floating above everything, above the world and everyone in it, the stars aligning as you were so close to release, it was like all the pieces that didn't fit together finally made sense; finally, everything finally fell in place.

"How much longer?" Sami whispered into your ear as he lifted your leg higher, pulling out slightly before thrusting back in roughly, a loud groan spilling from his lips as he did.

"Just a little bit more!" You panted out, your grip around his back tightening as you fought off another wave of orgasmic ecstasy.

He growled lowly, throwing his head back as he slammed his hips into you repeatedly, his grip tightening on your ass. Your head dropped backwards against the window as your hands went from his back to his face, holding his head firmly in place.

"Kiss me, please baby." You needed the contact as badly as he did, the closeness allowing you to push your desires aside for one final time. He obliged, capturing your lips with his and sucking hungrily on your lower lip, the action drawing another shudder from your body.

Your hands moved from his face to his hair as Sami continued to pump himself into you relentlessly, his movements ragged, almost savage. You were so fucking close, and when he bit your bottom lip softly, thrusting into you the same time he rubbed your clit harshly, you finally let go.

You felt airy and detached as everything faded away; the sound of the traffic roaring past, the sounds of the wind whistling outside, the warmth radiating through the windows; the smell of his cologne; the taste of his kiss; and the warmth of his body.

All that mattered was the feel of the hard flesh of his erection against you, and him pulling out to cum on your stomach, his breaths coming in short gasps. The both of you stood there panting and trembling in exhaustion, your bodies covered in sweat as your breathing finally settled.

Sami slowly withdrew himself, his hands still clutching the sides of your waist. He smiled at the whine that left your lips, gently kissing your forehead as you laid your head against him again.

"My angel," he muttered softly, pulling you tightly against him, his arms surrounding your body. You hugged him back fiercely and rested your chin on his shoulder, closing your eyes in contentment. You loved it when he called you that. It sounded so good coming from his lips. "I'm sorry for everything, but I'm not letting you go now."

He watched as you continued to cling onto him, seemingly unaware or uncaring that your body was covered in a thin sheen of sweat. When your eyes closed, he gently tapped on your face to stop you from napping, a soft smile curving his lips.

"You know you'll regret it if you fall asleep," he commented, his voice filled with amusement and love.

"Nope, I won't. I'm wide awake now," you replied with a yawn, snuggling your head tighter against his chest.

"Oh really?" Sami hummed thoughtfully in response, giving in to the urge to nuzzle you with his nose instead of his lips.

"Yeah, really. I'm just tired from this really cute guy who wore me out with his incredible god-like sex."

A low chuckle left Sami, his fingers stroking against your hipbones as his other arm wrapped tightly around you, pulling you flush against his bare torso and kissing your temple softly. "Cute guy, huh?"

You shrugged, your eyes still closed as he kissed your forehead once again, a playful smile spreading across your features. "Yup, super cute. Tall, handsome, kinda sexy…"

"Sounds pretty impressive."

"Mmm, yeah. And he makes you laugh and smile. He's nice, and funny, and kind, and you know what the best part is?"

"What?" Sami asked as you tilted your head up to meet his gaze.

"That I'm in love with him." You paused, a genuine warmth in your voice as you looked deeply into Sami's eyes. He smiled, his fingers gently tracing patterns on your skin.

"I'm in love with you too," he confessed, his voice soft and sincere. The two of you lay there, wrapped in each other's arms, the world outside the car seemingly fading away. After how many years of pining for each other, navigating the complexities of your relationship, you found solace in this moment. The car, once a place of intense passion, now transformed into a cocoon of shared affection.

"How long did you wait for me?" Sami asked, his fingers now idly playing with strands of your hair.

You chuckled softly, the post-lovemaking glow illuminating your features. "Since we first met. What about you? How long did you wait for me?"

Sami's gaze softened as he recalled the journey that brought them to this point. "I think I knew pretty early on, but I was scared. Scared of ruining our friendship, scared of losing you altogether. It took me a while to gather the courage to admit my feelings."

You smiled, tracing circles on his chest with your fingertips. "And it only took me threatening to leave for you to spill your feelings, huh?"

Sami laughed, a deep, resonant sound that echoed in the confined space of the car. "Well, I couldn't let you go without a fight. I realized losing you was scarier than admitting how much I cared."

You leaned up to press a gentle kiss on his lips. "I'm glad you fought for us."

"Me too," he whispered against your lips, the sincerity in his eyes matching the tone of his voice. The world outside the car seemed to disappear as you shared this intimate moment, the afterglow of your connection lingering in the air.

"I love you," you murmured, your words carrying the weight of years of longing and the joy of finally being together.

"I love you too, more than words can express," Sami replied, his arms holding you close as if afraid you might vanish.

Your phone beeped, and you picked it up to check the notification. Sami watched as a smirk crossed your face, curiosity sparking in his eyes.

"What's so amusing?" he inquired.

You held up the phone, showing him a message from a friend. "Kevin just texted. Turns out he's not as mad at you as you thought. Whatever you said to him must've gotten through to him."

Sami's eyebrows shot up in surprise, a mixture of relief and curiosity washing over his features. "Really? What did he say?"

You turned your phone off, giving Sami a playful smile. "Let's just say you'll have backup against Jey during your promo. He forgives you too. But don't tell him I told you."

Sami's eyes brightened with gratitude and love, towards Kevin for finally mending things with him, and towards you for forgiving him and helping in the process. "Thank you," he whispered, sincerity in his eyes, and he kissed you tenderly.

The lingering taste of your shared intimacy and the newfound resolution with Kevin blended in the air. The car, once a stage for intense passion, had become a sanctuary of love, forgiveness, and shared history.

"I'm grateful, too," you whispered, the sincerity echoing in your voice as you returned his kiss. The car, though slightly cramped, felt like the most comfortable place in the world with Sami by your side and his lips on yours.

As you lay there, tangled in each other's arms, you couldn't help but reflect on the journey that brought you to this moment. The highs and lows, the laughter and tears, the misunderstandings and resolutions – it all seemed worth it now, as you found yourself in the arms of the person you loved.

"I never want to let you go," Sami admitted, his fingers tracing gentle patterns on your back.

"Then don't," you replied, meeting his gaze with a soft smile. "We've waited long enough, Sami."

Sami smiled at you brightly, like the stars in the night sky above. He kissed you once more, a sweet and lingering kiss that spoke of promises and commitment. "Back me up tonight with Kevin? I'll find you a kendo stick."

You smiled back at him, love and support shining in your eyes. "Always."

As you lay there in each other's embrace, you felt a sense of peace and contentment wash over you. The outside world and its challenges could wait – in this moment, it was just you and Sami, sharing a space where love and forgiveness triumphed over all obstacles.

[coquettebows]

❥﹒bewitched (bewitched by laufey)

yang jungwon x fem! reader﹒genre fluff fluff fluff!, mutual pining, best friends to lovers etc ﹒word count 1k﹒warnings confessions, cuddles, kisses in the rain, i love the song bewitched, very disney!

"you bewitched me, from the first time that you kissed me."

"then we ran down the street in the late london light, the world froze around us, you kissed me goodnight."

his pale rosy skin, his arms currently wrapped around you while you both watch a scary movie. "[name]! pleasee, this thing is scary!" jungwon yelled out, once again hiding in your neck when a jumpscare came up.

even though your cheeks were practically red, you giggle at his antics. "jungwon, the movie isn't even that scary!" you snickered, then jungwon left your 'cozy neck' and stared at you with his cute cat eyes.

"jungwon..." "please...!" "fine!"

you reached towards the table and grabbed the remote. you turned off the tv and laid back to the couch. jungwon hugged you tighter, seeming scared. you smile and then you heard the front door unlock.

"hello? [name]! i'm home!" your mom beamed, closing the door behind her. your mom walked towards the living room. "oh hi jungwon! i didn't know you were coming over!" she smiled, also looking at you and winking at you due to the fact both you and jungwon were cuddling.

"i'll be in the kitchen making dinner." your mom grinned, walking off while taking off her coat to hang.

you and jungwon stayed cuddling, taking in each other's warmth.

"hey, jungwon?" "yeah?" "i'm going to be right back, im going to use the bathroom kay?"

"whyy?" "it's going to be quick i promise."

he unwrapped his arms from you then started sulking. you smiled at him and walk towards the bathroom. well, not before your mom grabbed you into the kitchen.

"oh my god, are you guys finally together?" your mom quiently squealed. "mom, no! i mean, i wish but we're not! he doesn't see me like that."

"oh please! do you see the way he looks at you! he's totally inlove." she beamed, making your cheeks go red. "mom! keep down please! now, im going to go to the bathroom..."

you sighed and turned around to walk run to the bathroom to collect your breath.

you closed the door behind you, immediately taking a deep breath in and out. you couldn't help but wonder if he really liked you.

i mean sure, you both had reallllly close calls of almost kissing but it never happened.

you stayed in the bathroom, collecting yourself for about 5 minutes before you finally decided to go out.

you walked out to the living room to see jungwon and your mom talking while eating dinner. "hey [name]! come eat with us pleasee!" jungwon grinned and you smiled back, taking a seat.

"we were just talking about halloween! jungwon wanted to tag along with us for buying decorations!" she rambled, and you quickly nodded.

"yes yes! tag along jungwon! it would make things 100x more fun!" "hey! are you saying im boring?" "no mom..."

"i'll tag along then!" he smiled, finishing up his plate. you smile at him and began eating.

──────

it was 3:33 am when you heard tapping from somewhere. you groan, trying to block out the noise. but somehow the tapping out louder.

you 'ughed' and got out of your warm bed to try to find that tapping sound. only to find yourself near the window, and opening it. a rock almost got thrown at your head but luckily you dodged.

"what the fuck..." you mumbled, rubbing your eyes and looking down to see jungwon.

"jungwon?" you uttered, and he sweetly smiled. "i didn't hit you right?" "yeah..."

"oh thank god! okay okay, [name] can you let me in for a second?" "oh, okay..."

you closed your window and quietly headed downstairs. you opened the door and then saw jungwon there in all his glory.

you stared at him and he stared back. "[name]...are you going to let me in?"

you came back to realization, "oh yeah! sorry..."

he came inside, taking off his shoes and quickly guiding you back to your room. "wha...what happened?" you ask him when he shut your door. "let's sneak out."

"huh? to where?" "anywhere! let's get food and head to the park!" "oh, okay, let me get ready then."

after a while of choosing an outfit, and just ended up choosing some hello kitty pj pants and a shirt, you both headed out and now getting some food.

"let's go to mcdonalds! it's open!" you say, and jungwon smiles, driving over there.

a silent air takes over, and you look out the window.

you both reach the fast food place, quickly going in, very hungry, you both get food, getting ready for the park.

you both laugh off from your conversations, not noticing the heavy rain coming down, until you both walk into it.

"oh, it's raining..." he mumbles. "the food is going to be soggy!" "you know what they say, the food tastes better soggy!" "no one says that jungwon."

he laughs and he grabs your hand. he runs, dragging you with him. you guys stop under a streetlamp. he puts down the food and smiles at you.

"[name], i feel like this is the right time to do this. please don't be mad at me." "what do you mea-"

he's kissing you. his warm hands caressing your face. you close your eyes and kiss him back just as intimately.

he broke the kiss off first, and he just kept staring at you. like he was taking in everything. "[name], i really really like you. never mind, i don't think like is the right word. [name], i love you. for so long. ever since we met, ever since you moved in from across from me. i've been waiting so long to let this out."

you smile at him and kiss him again. you feel him smile into the kiss and his hands hug your waist. you break off the kiss and smile at him. "jungwon, the moment i saw you, you bewitched me. you made moving here hundred times better. you always make things better, you make me feel better. i love you. tons and tons, and forever."

he hugged you, buring his head into your neck. "i'm really happy [name]." "me too."

you both stay like that, for a while before you spoke up again.

"so...are we going to let the food get even more soggier?"

[bluejaysandblackbats]

Eyes and Ears

Fandom: DC Comics, Batfam

Summary: An AU where Barbara finds Jason instead of Bruce.

Chapters: 21/?

Characters: Jason Todd, Barbara Gordon, Jim Gordon, Dick Grayson, Bruce Wayne, Sheila Haywood, Original Character(s)

Relationship(s): Jason Todd/Original Character(s), Past Barbara Gordon/Dick Grayson

Additional Tags: Canon Divergent AU, Older SIbling Barbara Gordon, Jason Todd-centric, Barbara Gordon is Oracle, Jason Todd is NOT Robin, Jason Todd Has Issues, Jason Todd Has a Crush, Adopted Siblings

Chapter Twenty-One: Number Four

Jason couldn't sleep that night, but Jim stayed up with him. Barbara didn't return to the hospital until early that morning. She told Jim that she'd stay with Jason. Once Jim was gone, Barbara pinched Jason's cheek. "I'm sorry, Barb," Jason mumbled as he teared up.

"Hey, shhh... I'm not mad at you," Barbara whispered as she hugged him, "You should get some sleep."

Jason nodded as he held onto her. He closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep. Barbara sat by his side for most of the day while Jason slept. He woke up late in the afternoon, and Barbara smiled at him. "Feeling better?" she asked. Jason nodded. "How was your dance, other than the fear toxin tear gas situation?"

Jason looked at her, "I danced with someone, and it was my first ever slow dance. I could definitely say that it was a night to remember."

"Your first masquerade ball, your first school dance, your first slow dance, and it all ends with a trip to the emergency room," Barbara messed up his hair, "Oh, I brought you a change of clothes. I figured you would want to look—."

"Where'd you go?" Jason asked.

"To Bruce's. We had to figure out what was wrong... I think we sort of did. It is a lot like a fear toxin," Barbara whispered.

"Then why am I going home today? Also, does it always feel like that when you get gassed?" Jason asked. Barbara shook her head.

"Jason, you really can't remember anything?" Barbara asked. Jason took a deep breath and pushed his palms to his forehead as if he were trying to knead out a memory.

"I can't, Barbara... I'm sorry, but I'm trying," Jason whispered apologetically.

"It's okay. You're okay. That's all that matters. I remember when the paramedics brought you in. You were shut down completely. The doctors couldn't figure out how to lower your heart rate," Barbara whispered, "It took almost an hour to get you to speak. When you did, you said that you wanted out of the toybox."

Jason's heart rate went back up, and he closed his eyes to try and stave off the panic. "Jason?" Barbara asked, and he shook his head.

"No, it's just something from when I was little... And before you ask, no, I don't want to talk about that right now," Jason replied. Barbara nodded, and the sympathetic look in her eye agitated him. "Stop it. Stop feeling bad for me. I'm fine."

"Jason, this isn't pity. I'm concerned for you," she confessed, "Fear has a way of making you feel isolated and powerless. Fear gives you the illusion that you can't do anything... And that's just not the case, Jason. You can do anything... I'll let you get dressed." She kissed the top of his head and left him alone with his thoughts.

Jason got dressed and put on his socks and shoes before stepping forward. Everything went dark temporarily, and he grabbed onto the nearest thing he could until his vision came back. When he stepped out, Jim was there at the desk checking him out of the hospital. Barbara was waiting for him. "Jason—."

"I'm claustrophobic," Jason explained to her shortly, "I'll explain later. I promise."

Barbara messed up his hair, and he met eyes with A.J. and Reese. "Wanna go talk to your friends?" Barbara asked. Jason didn't break eye contact with the two brothers.

"Barb, I've got so much to tell you about," Jason whispered. A.J. greeted him while Reese spoke to someone on the phone. "Hi, A.J. You guys okay?" Jason laughed nervously.

"Yeah, we're more bummed about school getting canceled," A.J. rasped. Reese followed A.J. and said hi.

"Number Four is in the car," Reese whispered, "And she is not happy."

"Number Four is what we call our stepmom," A.J. clarified, "All you need to know is that she'll last all of two years and that she's probably younger than your sister." A.J.'s shoulders dropped as he and Reese said their goodbyes and left.

Jason relaxed his shoulders, and Barbara came back over. "Come on, I'll let you ride on my back to the car," Barbara whispered. Jason smiled and accepted her invitation.

"Be careful. We just checked Jason out of the hospital. I don't want to have to check him back in," Jim warned. Once they got to the car, Jason got in the back seat, and Jim offered to take them out to eat. They all went out for tacos, and after they ate, Jim dropped Jason and Barbara off and went home.

It wasn't until after Jim left that Jason felt another wave of anxiety wash over him. "Jason, can we—?"

"I feel like I—. I—. God, I wish I would have kissed Reese when I wasn't myself," Jason blurted out. Barbara's jaw dropped. She swallowed his words and pushed a hand through her hair.

"I'm sorry, can you clarify the part about you not being yourself?" she asked.

"It was a masquerade ball, so I thought I'd pretend to be someone else, and I knew it was Reese when we were dancing-. I don't really care if anyone knows I like boys. I don't care who knows, and I wish I could've said something... But I was so shocked that it was him, and I honestly have no idea how to kiss anyone... I've never done it before," Jason explained, "And before you ask, I have no idea. I didn't know I had a crush on him until last night."

A smile spread across Barbara's face. "Jason, text him what you just said to me because that was very sweet... Now, if you don't think you can talk about the other stuff with me tonight, that's fine—."

"My birth father used to put me in a toybox when I was little. Well, not really a toybox. It was a storage bin, and it felt a lot like a coffin would feel. If I panicked, he would just make me stay in there longer... I learned to just shut down... So, yeah," Jason took a deep breath, "I'm claustrophobic. It's not as bad as it was when I was a kid, but I can imagine being trapped in a room while being gassed is not going to make that any better." Jason pushed a hand through his hair.

Barbara chewed her nails as she tried to find something comforting to say to him. "Kids are braver than adults," Barbara whispered. Jason plopped down on the couch and stared up at the ceiling. "Jason—."

"I was doing great, Barbara. You saw it, right? You saw how good I was doing," Jason looked over at her before looking back up at the ceiling.

"You're still doing great. Jason, it's not like you're—."

"I was busy when I was in school, now the school's shut down until further notice... All I've got right now are my thoughts, and all my thoughts suck right now," Jason complained as he tried to take a deep breath. Barbara moved the coffee table and crouched down in front of him.

"Hey, Jason... You're going to be okay. It is not gonna fall apart because you have a week to relax—."

"It could fall apart," Jason interrupted her. She took his hand and squeezed it.

"I won't let it. I won't let anything fall apart for you. I promise," she reassured him, "Now what's gonna happen is you're gonna relax your shoulders and you're gonna give me a hug." He obeyed.

[celepom]

@lia404 asked:

Hello! You probably noticed I liked about half your blog these past days. I'm super sorry, I really hope I haven't been overwhelming with notifications! I just wanted to say I love your art. I discovered your work in 2021 with Aces Wild, which I LOVE (and actually helped a lot in communicating around my asexuality and my partner's aromanticism, and while we follow on Webtoon, we're also hoping for a volume 2 in pdf! But honestly, no pressure. Webtoon works well, too.)

(Sorry, I'm still a Tumblr newbie discovering there's a character limit in asks, I feel CHEATED.) So when I found out you ALSO were into Yu-Gi-Oh I had a rather embarrasing moment of fangirlism (I confess I didn't reconcile Celepom <-> Sally Vinter at once and it's when I bought the anthologies that I saw Aces Wild on Gumroad...) like "oh my god this creator I love also loves things I love! We're in the same fandoms!" Cue me deep diving into your Tumblr. Sorry again ^^'

ANYWAY (last one I promise I'm so embarrassed) all of this to say that I really love your work and I really want to thank you for all you brought to fandoms but also for Aces Wild which has really been amazingly relatable and wonderful to educate friends on the topic. I hope you're not struggling too much and life's treating you well, and that this ridiculously long message can help remember the positive impact your work has on people. Thank you so much again and may your day go well, take care!

----

Hi! No worries, that's what tumblr is for, and I hope my basic tagging allowed for you to find what you like easier. I'm glad Aces Wild was able to help you both! And, actually there is a volume 2, it was just released on Ko-Fi instead of Gumroad. (I stopped releasing things on gumroad because of their stance on NFTs) You can find it here: https://ko-fi.com/s/b6b8cdb316

Yu-Gi-Oh is a great fandom to get into. Seems like it has something for everybody XD Hope you're having lots of fun digging through the backlog lol

Life has been treating me better recently. I had a really rough year last year, with being sick for months, losing my job, burning out on art, and running into conflict with neighbours. But I'm doing much better this year. I'm working a creatively fulfilling job, but it takes most of my creative juices so I haven't been able to get fully back into my own art yet. I'm slowly working on it, it just might take a while.

You take care as well, lia!

[seeyouonsaturn]

I feel like I haven't sent asks in a while ??? yay new game! I mostly have you and Prowl in mind for this, but I always want to hear about The OCS™ if you'd like to chat about anyone 💖

What song(s) represent you and f/o?

What are the tropes/tags for you and f/o? (Think AO3 tags)

Who was the first to confess? You or f/o?

Between you and f/o, who talks more and who listens intently? 

It’s movie night! What are you and f/o watching?

Pick a Pokémon to represent you and your f/o :3

Who is the mischief maker? Are you both? Neither? Is one trying to dissuade the other? Encouraging?

How does f/o hug you?

ask game

Prowl on the mind 💜 I reblogged this ask game specifically for Prowl, if you want to hear about oc ships you gotta ask directly <3 otherwise. You get Prowl!

[🪻 2] What song(s) represent you and f/o?

You know me so well <3 witness my publically made selfship playlist! I don't even use spotify, I made this specifically for sharing purposes.

But also, I shall list my favorites once more! (Some of them. Or else I'd be listing the entire playlist).

Saturn – Sleeping at Last

Lose You Now - Lindsey Stirling, Mako

It's a Beautiful Life – Billy Raffoul

Born to be Yours - Kygo, Imagine Dragons

By Your Side (In My Mind) – Leony

[🪻 8] What are the tropes/tags for you and f/o? (Think AO3 tags)

I really, really do not read enough fic to be able to answer this. You tell me though!!

#major character death

[🪻 9] Who was the first to confess? You or f/o?

I don't remember that far back. I don't think either of us ever had to properly confess though. It just happened naturally, there wasn't any need for words. I really don't remember how it started though, I just remember that he was there.

But if one of us did have to confess, it must've been him, because there's no way baby me would have done that lmao.

[🪻 12] Between you and f/o, who talks more and who listens intently?

I do talk more, especially once I get really into something, and Prowl does of course happily listen to me. But we're both quiet people at our core, so a lot of our shared time is spent just enjoying comfortable silence together. Parallel play is a wonderful thing. It's usually us spending all day in silence, and then at night you suddenly get the endless, deep conversations that fundamentally change you as a person.

[🪻 18] It’s movie night! What are you and f/o watching?

Probably a nature documentary! I may love my cartoons, but they're not Prowl's thing so much, even though he's willing to entertain me and watch them together if I ask nicely. I certainly do make him watch my favorites just so he's aware of them. But looking at creatures is something we both enjoy, so that's the obvious go-to.

[🪻 24] Pick a Pokémon to represent you and your f/o :3

Okay hear me out,

same color scheme. (Take the red eyes from me I dare you). And it's called Ninjask [the ninja pokémon]. You can't fool me Prowl, I know that's you.

As for me – I know other cat Pokémon may feel more like my vibe (I'm sure nobody questions whether or not it's a cat one), but when I first got into Pokémon, I immediately felt drawn to Skitty and Delcatty, so I'm sticking with those. Ran out of images (yay mobile), but. Skitty. I'm Skitty.

[🪻 28] Who is the mischief maker? Are you both? Neither? Is one trying to dissuade the other? Encouraging?

answered here 💜

[🪻 32] How does f/o hug you?

Carefully, because it's not like he can squeeze. And we have to watch how exactly he holds me too, so I don't hurt myself on the kibble. So proper hugs are rather rare, and it's more likely that you'll find me on his shoulder hugging his helm or a hand instead.

What we do most of the time is me sitting on his lap, as I usually do, and him draping his arms around me and pulling me closer. Given the size difference, that's more comfortable than a hug, and he can continue his meditation without being disturbed too. I really am just his lap cat <3

[skloomdumpster]

Thank you for tagging me @crazycatfaery <3 I'm sorry I took so long 😅😅

Rules: How much do these tropes affect your decision to click on a fic?

-10 -> very dissuaded

0 -> don’t care either way

10 -> very enticed

nope -> if it’s a hard no and you’d never click on a fic with that tag or or you even have the tag blocked or you’d insta click out of the fic if it wasn’t tagged.

Bonus points for explaining the rating and whether it’s conditional

Age Gap: 7/10

I love it, but I'll only read it if the Dead Dove Do Not Eat tag is there. I want to read it from an author who's aware they're writing an age gap, especially if we're talking toxic/problematic ships. If we're all in agreement in this room, then HELL YEAH.

Codependency: 100/10

Love it. I love it between love interests, I love it between family members, I love it between enemies even. Characters who only exist and see themselves as a paired up thing with another character. If I see that tag in any work the chances of me clicking on it double.

Enemies to lovers: -5/10

Eh... Sure if it's okay enemies to lovers, as in they're actual enemies and they want each other dead and then we turn it back around. Alright, sure. But honestly? 9/10 times people are writing mild-annoying acquaintance to lovers. I hate that. And even when they ARE writing real enemies to lovers, sometimes the "lovers" part doesn't live up to the "enemies" part.

Enemies With Benefits: 10/10

It's rare and I love it, but it's a tricky trope to get right. You can't remove the "enemies" aspect from it. I've seen this done right (cough - John Ross/Pamela), but I've also seen it butchered many times.

Fake Dating/Relationship: 3/10

Cute and all, but I won't click on a fic because of it.

Found Family: -1000/10

Nope. Most of the time people mean "found nuclear family" and then I'm forced to watch as these characters act completely wacky and ooc. I adore a good found family, but seeing this tagged in a work is a surefire way to have me not click it. (also let's just please stop with the weird subtrope of putting the favorite-white-guy of the group as the "tradwife/mom"??? what the FUCK is this? I've seen it in Teen Wolf, I've seen it Fate, I've seen it in Fast and Furious... just nope.)

Friends To Lovers: 100/10

Perfection. You want pining? You got a forest of pines. You want yearning? You want italicized oh moment? You want harmless jealousy? You want hilarious cutesy moments? You want deep conversations? You want confessions that fix something broken inside of you? You want a love so deep and profound that it has grown and changed and it'll change again if you won't take me as a lover because a friend is good too, is great even?? You want STAKES because I-love-you-but-I-don't-want-to-ruin-this-because-you're-the-best-thing-in-my-life??? Perfect trope. No notes.

Friends With Benefits: 10/10

The same as above + sex. Can't go wrong.

Hurt/Comfort: 100/10

Bathe my blorbo in their own blood!! Whump the shit out of them!! Put them through hell!! Make the caretaker fear for their life!! Get the begging and bargaining out and the wheezing confessions through bloody coughs. Love this.

Love Triangle: 0/10

It sure exists.

Mistaken/Hidden Identity: 0/10

I don't think I ever read this, don't think I ever will either.

Monster Fu… Relationship: 5/10

Sure, but only if it's a werewolf. Team Jacob forever.

Obsession, Possessiveness, etc: 10/10

Fuck yeah. Yes in good, deliciously toxic ships, but also YES in good, healthy ships. The golden ships, made up of two righteous characters and you wouldn't expect this and then BAM. The other day I read fic that was like "[redacted] had often fantasized about reaching in and counting the teeth in [redacted's] mouth" <- most perfect line ever written.

Opposites (like grumpy×sunshine, etc): 5/10

Eh...? It can be cute, but sometimes it feels like too much. I'm actually more of a "they're both grumpy, but not with each other" or even "they're both golden, but can be at their worse with each other".

Poly: 5/10

Sometimes it's shoehorned in and I'm like... :/ you could've written something more interesting if you allowed the conflict to exist. BUT sometimes there's genuine sexual/romantic attraction between all parts and that's when this hits. I'll read an OT3 as long as it's not "author couldn't decide and decided to go the fluffy no conflict route even though it makes no sense for the characters"

Pregnancy: 8/10

I'll read it in fics, in all sorts of manners: cute family fic, kinky breeding fic, plotty dramatic fic, etc. But I don't like it in canon, movie or book. In fic I have the ability of getting bored and clicking out and reading one of the other 200 fics where there's no pregnancy or baby. In canon that's impossible.

Second Chance: 0/10

Sure, I'll read that.

Sex To Feelings: 5/10

IDK, when are we talking feelings? Is this a scenario where they're friends/enemies to benefits and then the feelings emerge? Because then yes. Or is this just a PWP and then I get some feelings at the bottom? Because then no. Or is this a character study while they're fucking? Because then YES.

Slowburn: 10/10

It's the perfect trope but watch out. I'm a firm believer of stories needing beginning, middle, end. I've read fics that are 80 chapters long and every time the characters are about to get together/realize another curveball is thrown their way. Once or twice I'm good with, but 50 different obstacles? Fuck no, I'm clicking out.

Soulmates: -1/10

This won't make me wanna read your fic. If you mean this as a "they are soulmates so X happens" ....nope. Not my thing. If you mean this as "they're always the endgame. In every universe, in every reality, these two are IT" (cough, Skloom) then YES!!! But also don't spell it out for me. I don't need you to tell me soulmates, I can guess that.

Tagging: @infp-obsessing-over-everything , @faithfire and @daisiehoney @astrid-v

[misshoneyimhomeagain]

Chapter 7 -

Summary: things start to evolve for William and Julia, and one unforgettable night might just have a little influence on their relationship;  

Tags; William NylanderxOfc, soft!William; “We never go out of style” 

Warnings; sadness; talk of infertility; Mild smut (masturbation) 

A/N; so this turned out to be way more emotional than intended; but still tried to add a little bit of humour; I know I’ve taken inspiration in a real life event, but I found it quite fitting for this story’s purpose; hope you enjoy it;  

Words; 5.5K+ 

- 

“You must like me for me” (*) 

The following four days were rather tense for both Julia and William since they had left Raleigh. The absence of communication between them had weighed heavily on their minds, but neither of them had been willing to break the silence first. 

Julia had been a whirlwind of emotions, though. She missed William deeply but was also frustrated by his lack of response to her text. In a way, she felt like the one who had been wronged, but deep down, she was simply afraid that he was simply too pissed at her. 

Meanwhile, for William, the unease had grown to a point where he couldn't bear it any longer. He simply couldn't stand not talking to Julia, especially after all the time they had spent together, and how deep their friendship had become. So, he made the decision to take the initiative and pay a visit to her flat. 

When William rang her doorbell, Julia was both surprised and relieved, and after buzzing him in, she opened the door with a questioning look on her face and softly inquired, “Willy, what are you doing here?” 

William leaned against her doorframe, feeling a bit sheepish. “I don't like it when we're not talking,” he timidly admitted, making Julia gaze at the dark wooden floors of the hallway for a moment.  

“Then why didn't you respond to my text?” she asked, her voice almost trembling. 

William's expression fell as he realised what had happened. “What text?” He asked frowning his brows. 

Julia looked up at him, her eyes widening a bit. “The one I sent Sunday night?” She told, slightly confused. If this was his idea of a joke, she didn’t find it funny. 

“Fuck,” William cursed harshly with a low voice. “My phone was out of power,” he confessed, taking out his phone and searched for the text, which was apparently well hidden in all his messages. “Shit JJ,” he then added, letting out a frustrated sigh. “I haven’t seen this - please believe that.”  

Julia looked intensely at him, her eyes darting from side to side, searching for truth in his. It did seem a little odd that William had simply ignored her like that, but then again, they had had a fight, where she’d accused him of something that wasn’t really his doing. But eventually, she chose to believe him. She knew that William wasn’t the kind of guy to hold grudges, and besides, she wanted to believe him.  

And as she felt a sense of relief washing over her, replacing her anger, she gently offered him a soft smile. “Would you like to come in?" she asked, stepping aside a little to let him enter, to which he nodded. 

As William stepped inside, a quick flashback of their encounter back in August flashed through his mind. It seemed somewhat different now though, but he acknowledged that it was hard to recall all the details, since it had been dark, and his focus had been entirely on Julia that night.  

“Would you like to stay for dinner?” She then inquired with a timid smile. “I was just about to put something together.” 

William returned the gentle look and nodded. “Sure, that sounds great.” 

Julia had initially planned to use her creativity to prepare a simple meal from whatever ingredients she had left in her fridge, which she figured William wouldn't mind. And as she skilfully moved around her kitchen, creating a makeshift meal from leftovers, he couldn't help but admire her culinary prowess. 

"You're really good at this," he complimented her, his eyes following her every move.  

"Thanks," she responded with a warm smile as she chopped and sautéed the ingredients. The smell of fried vegetables and oils filling the air of the small flat.  

And William just couldn’t help but smile as he watched her work her magic. “So, is wine a Thursday night tradition for you?" he playfully asked with a light chuckle, spotting a glass of white wine on the counter. 

"Not always, just mostly when I'm cooking," she winked.  

William then came to stand next to her, and reached for the glass, in order to take a sip. 

“Oi!” Julia exclaimed, "don't down it – it's a proper Chardonnay from Chablis." She offered him a playful smile, earning a light chuckle from William caused by her quick remark, and he went for a smaller sip.  

"It's good; but I didn't know you were into wine," he commented before placing the glass down before he began to wander and scan her home.  

Her place wasn't large, but it was the perfect size for one person. It consisted of one large quadrant: the entrance in one corner, the bathroom in another, connected to the bedroom with a walk-in closet. The bedroom was open to the rest of the space, separated only by a light curtain, and the kitchen occupied the central area. It was in excellent condition, and Julia had stylishly decorated every inch of it. It had a modern feel with a touch of vintage. 

“Oh, you should’ve seen my wine cellar back in Surrey then,” she said stirring the pot of mixed ingredients. 

William smiled as he walked around, taking in all her decorative and collected items. “So, JJ, how old are you exactly?" he then asked curiously.  

“What do you mean?” Julia chuckled as she put a lid on the pot, before joining him and spotted what had triggered his teasing question. “Oh well, I'm 27 on paper, but in spirit? Probably 72.” 

"You have vinyl records!" William stated as he’d noticed her record player and the neatly organised vinyls on her shelf, ranging from The Beatles and Queen to Elton John, Abba, Ed Sheeran, Tina Turner, Harry Styles, and many more. 

"That's actually quite trendy," she exclaimed with a wide grin. "But yes, I'm a bit old-fashioned that way." 

He also noticed wine bottles stocked nicely next to her vintage bar cupboard, which contained high-quality rum, whiskey, and gin, earning a mischievous expression from the Swede.  

"I told you, I'm secretly a 72-year-old man with a great taste for spirits," Julia admitted with a cheeky wink as William closely observed her choice of alcohol. He let out a light chuckle, as he couldn’t help but finding her so incredibly endearing. Julia just always seemed to be true to herself and do whatever she pleased, without too much concern of what other people would think. At least when in regard to beverages.  

They then took a seat on her sofa, patiently waiting for the meal to be ready, and candlelight cast a warm glow across the room, creating a cosy ambiance as the cold November darkness crept in outside. 

"So, you really never received my message?" Julia asked softly, tucking her feet under herself. 

William simply shook his head. "No, I don't know why though, but probably because my phone was dead until I got home. So, I guess I just never got a notification." 

"Well, that actually makes me feel a lot better," she said with a light chuckle. "I thought you were ignoring me." 

William flashed her a great smile. "Don't worry, hjärtat, it takes more than that to get rid of me." 

The two of them shared a laugh, realising that it had been just another silly misunderstanding that had caused a disturbance in their friendship – again. 

"I'm sorry for what I said to you. I know you were just trying to be helpful," Julia admitted, referring to how William had tried to protect her from spending more time with Freddie. 

"It's all good, JJ," he assured her with a friendly smile. “I meant what I said, I just wanted to help." 

"And you did; I was just too stubborn to see it." 

"Wait, you? Stubborn? No way," William joked, and they both burst into laughter once again. 

They continued their conversation for a little while longer, before Julia's alarm went off, signalling that dinner was about ready. William went to take a seat at her small dining table as she served a large pot of pasta with homemade tomato sauce, a chicken breast on the side, along with a creative salad.  

"Lucky that this meal is athlete-friendly, huh?" she quipped as she prepared a plate for William, who simply chuckled. 

"Damn, this smells incredible," he declared with a bright smile, taking in all the delicious smell from the pot. 

"So, I guess I've made it up to your nose then?" Julia teased with a cheeky smile. 

"Hm, yes, I'd say we're even now,” he joked before grabbing his fork and dug in. 

During the meal, they chatted and shared their experiences from the past few days. Nothing particularly significant had happened, except for the Leafs losing to the Vegas Golden Knights in overtime the previous day. A match which Julia had watched with Tyler and Charlie, where Charlie obviously had to leave to meet Auston at his place following the loss to provide “comfort”. William had played exceptionally well despite the loss, and his mood was high, as always. 

"Shit, this was delicious," William complimented as he finished his meal and leaned back in his chair, placing his hands on his stomach. "You're an amazing cook – maybe you should have become a chef or something?" 

"Thanks," Julia replied with a smile and leaned back in her seat as well. "Cooking has always been sort of a passionate hobby of mine; but it’s nothing I’d ever want to work with. I don’t like the stress in a kitchen, I just love the simplicity and relaxation at home.” 

William nodded flashing a soft smile. “So, it’s just something you’ve always done by yourself? Hiding your talents,” he winked, making Julia slightly giggle. 

“Actually, it’s something I've always done with my father and grandfather." 

"Really?" He inquired, intrigued to hear more, and she nodded.  

"Yeah, my grandfather was a butcher when he was young, and then later on he became an independent baker. And I guess, my father and I have just always been curious, so he let us help in the kitchen.” 

"Sounds like fun," William smiled. "Are you close with them?" 

Julia nodded lightly. "Yes, well, my grandfather has unfortunately passed away, but I'm quite close with my dad – actually, I’m rather close with my entire family." 

"You have a big family?" 

Again, she nodded, offering him a smile. "I'd say so. And they're all very important to me," she added with a soft tone. 

William smiled as well. "Family is important, so it's nice when you're close with them." 

"Seems like you're quite close with yours as well,” Julia said, letting out a light laughter. She’d noticed how full of joy William sounded when he’d talked about his family, and how much love shone through him whenever they were the topic of their conversation. “You're quite the family person, aren’t you?” 

"Yeah, I mean, we spend a lot of time together, and we often travel a lot, so yeah, I'd consider myself a big family person." 

"Me too." 

A short silence followed, during which they both contemplated the idea of their families. They could sense that this topic had forged a stronger bond in their friendship, as they understood the challenges of being far from their loved ones. 

"I can picture you with a big family,” William then added. “And with cooking skills like these, you'd probably be the best mom ever someday," he lightly teased. 

Julia responded with a small laugh, but it quickly faded as she looked down slightly, trying to hold back any overwhelming emotions. There was a deeply personal matter she usually didn't share with anyone. 

"Maybe," she said softly, "but I'm not so sure I'll ever be a mum." 

"Why not?" William gently inquired. "I mean, you'd probably have to meet a guy first, but that'll happen someday, right?" he added with a light chuckle. 

Julia offered a smile in the best way she could and took a deep breath. This was something significant to her, a secret she didn't broadcast to everyone – not even Charlie knew. 

"I can't... I can’t conceive children of my own," she admitted, her voice low as she looked at William. 

His expression softened, though he was feeling slightly surprised. "I'm so sorry, JJ." 

"It's okay," she reassured him with a friendly smile. "I mean, it wasn't easy to hear when I first got the news, but I've processed it, and I'm feeling better about it now." 

William felt at a loss for words, unsure of how to react, but he also felt a deep need to show his support for his close friend. 

His heart went out to Julia, and he couldn’t help but think about everything she’d been through before coming to Toronto for a fresh start. “But are you sure? Like, how do you know?" he asked, his voice and expression calm and soft.  

"Well, after Ezra proposed, he wanted to start a family right away. So, we made an appointment with a doctor who ran some tests, and the results weren't great," she explained, pausing for a moment. "His numbers were fine, but mine were quite below average." 

"I'm so sorry... is there absolutely no chance at all?" 

Julia smiled slightly. "Well, it's not entirely impossible. But it would require a lot more patience, maybe some extra help, and, well, maybe having a partner with exceptionally strong 'swimmers' rather than just 'fine' ones would also increase the chances," she elaborated, offering a light chuckle. 

William returned her light smile, wanting to do something to ease the situation. But he wasn’t always good at situations like this. Though he was a great friend and often easy to talk to, his own vocabulary didn’t always extend to this kind of sensitive topics. 

"Please don't look at me like that," Julia then chuckled, sensing the awkwardness she had created between them. 

"Like how?" 

"Like I'm a complete lost cause or something," she joked. 

"Well, you are – but that’s for so many other reasons," William teased, and they both shared a moment of laughter. 

"Hmm, that's perhaps a little true," Julia replied playfully. 

"Wait," William suddenly said, his expression changing. "So, that night we... you know... we didn't actually need to use protection?" 

Julia offered him a curious grin. 

"Well, no, but it was probably still the most responsible thing to do, considering we were complete strangers, and neither of us knew each other's... situation," she replied. 

"Well, true, but technically, we didn't have to," William persisted with a cheeky smile, and Julia couldn't contain her amusement. 

"I suppose so – geez, Willy, sometimes, you're such a teenage boy," she joked, and once again, they burst into laughter. 

_ 

Later in the evening, after William had left, Julia found herself lying in her bed, scrolling through her social media and looking at all the photos the two of them had taken together the past month or so. They had created quite a collection by now, photos taken of them together as well as separately. They had become quite a picture-taking duo, capturing everything from their dog walks to their coffee outings, William posing in his stylish outfits and Julia simply strolling through the streets. 

It all brought a smile to her face. 

And the photos of William were undeniably captivating – he even looked, dare she say it, kind of hot? she thought to herself with a soft grin. His playful smirk featured prominently in most of the pictures, and she could almost hear his signature laughter and imagine his cheeky smile as she scrolled through her mobile album. 

That smirk, she thought, letting a smile grow a little more. That grin, that laughter – it all brought her back to the first time they had bumped into each other at the coffeehouse.  And her mind kept wandering to the second time they had met at the bar, where they’d fallen into a deep conversation, which had evolved to a snogging session in the toilet. And then... she couldn’t help but think of the way he had kissed her, touched her, the way he had made her feel so incredibly good. 

And as the memories flooded her mind, her heart skipped a beat... and she slowly felt her hand glide down. Down her tummy, slipping gently under her knickers, and down between her thighs as she closed her eyes and started thinking of that night. The images were still vivid in her memory. The images of his naked body against hers. Softly, she started to circle her clit, letting quiet moans escape her lips. And as she thought back on how good William had felt inside of her, she lightly increased the intensity of her hand, and she started to feel a pleasant knot build up in her lower tummy. She kept circling her fingers, letting herself go, her mind wander, and relax to her lively imagines of William pounding into her sweet warm core; how he’d hit every deep spot, over and over again; and how he’d made her moan out his name and swear words until she came undone, and- 

“Fuck,” she let out an almost silent moan, as she arched her back and reached the high of her climax. 

Lying in her bed she gazed into space, trying to catch her breath, and she felt a warmth rising to her cheeks making her blush. “Shit…” she spoke softly. “I did not just do that…” she whispered to herself. “I really need to get laid…” 

_ 

Saturday, 19th – TOR 5 – BUF 2 

On the upcoming Saturday, Julia excitedly attended yet another home game for the Maple Leafs, proudly sporting her Nylander jersey. It was a significant evening in Toronto as the team paid tribute to the legendary Swedish hockey icon, Börje Salming, who had been a cornerstone of the Maple Leafs for an astonishing 16 seasons, leaving an indelible mark on the sport. 

Börje Salming, celebrated for his extraordinary career, was one of the pioneering European hockey players who had left an enduring impact on the NHL. The ceremony unfolded just before the game against the Buffalo Sabres, creating an atmosphere that was both intimate and reverential. It was a time for everyone present to reflect on Salming's remarkable journey, from his humble beginnings in Sweden to his illustrious NHL career. 

However, the occasion was tinged with sadness due to Salming's ALS diagnosis in July. But despite this tough health challenge, he remained an inspiration to all. The ceremony sought to celebrate his remarkable contributions to hockey while acknowledging the adversity he now faced. It brought together teammates, fans, and the entire hockey community to pay tribute to a true legend of the game. 

During the ceremony, Julia observed William skating over to hug Börje and offer his respects to the family. It was a touching moment that hinted at the special place Salming held in William's heart, even if he might never openly admit it. 

And the match that followed was good, with the Leafs securing a satisfying victory at 5-2. 

"That was beautiful," Stephanie remarked, as the events of the night began to wind down. 

"Indeed," Julia smiled in agreement. 

After the match, Julia had joined the significant others and family members to see the players. The mood wasn't as lively and energetic as usual after a win, likely due to the deeply moving event earlier in the evening. And in the hallways of the Scotiabank Arena, partners and family members exchanged hugs and conversations, as Auston came over to Julia. 

“How is she?” he asked softly. 

Julia knew that Charlie and Auston had had a little fight a few days ago, where they hadn’t ended on the best terms; and then Charlie’s period had started, and she just didn’t feel like going out tonight. She had told Julia though, that she wasn’t really angry with Auston, and her frustration had probably had something to do with her bouncing hormones. But Auston didn’t have to know that.  

"She's alright," Julia reassured him with a gentle smile, "but you should probably go and see her. I'm sure she'd appreciate that." 

Auston flashed a smile and simply nodded, before he left.  

As the players slowly came out of their gear and changed into their post-game suits, Julia couldn't spot William anywhere. She exchanged a few words and brief conversations with Mitch, Steph, Mo, and Tessa, before she came across Rasmus. 

"Hey," she greeted the tall Swede with a soft smile. "Have you seen Willy?" 

Julia could sense that all the Swedes had been quite emotional following tonight's event, which was entirely understandable. Börje had been a significant figure in hockey history, especially in Sweden and the rest of Northern Europe. 

Rasmus nodded slightly. "Yeah, he's out shooting a few pucks at the training rink," he explained. 

"Oh," Julia hesitated. "Do you think he'd prefer to be alone?" she asked, her concern evident. 

"That's what he said," Rasmus replied with a small smile. "But I know he'd want you to be there with him, JJ. If anyone, it should be you." 

Julia nodded and returned the smile. "Thanks, Rasmus." 

As she was about to walk past him, Rasmus decided to share more of his thoughts on the matter. 

"You know," he began, "he's not always good at showing his emotions, but he really cares about you, JJ. And I think a part of him just really wants you around." 

Julia nodded again; her heart warmed by Rasmus's words. William truly cared for her, and all she wanted was to repay that care and show him that she was there for him just as much as he was for her. 

"I care about him too," she said softly. "And I'd do anything to support him." 

The two of them exchanged soft smiles as they shared their love and concern for their mutual close friend. 

"It's nice that he has a friend like you," Rasmus added. "I mean, we tease him a lot, but he really likes you, and from what we can see, you're good for him – even if it's just as a friend," he chuckled lightly. 

"Well, as much as I hate to admit it, he's pretty good for me too." 

Once more, they shared a moment of soft amusement before saying their goodbyes, and Julia set off to find William at the players' training rink. 

_

“Since we’re alone, you can show me your heart” 

Navigating the corridors of the arena, Julia’s thoughts were filled with a mix of anticipation and concern for her close friend. 

And as she approached the training rink, she couldn't help but wonder what William was going through. He had a knack for concealing his negative thoughts, but she knew that beneath that tough exterior, he was a person who felt deeply. 

Then she spotted William, alone on the ice, shooting pucks into the net. He looked focused, his movements deliberate and controlled. His presence exuded determination, as if he was trying to channel his emotions into each shot. 

Julia stood there for a moment, watching him in silence, as she could sense that he needed this time alone. But after a while, she decided to approach him. 

She walked towards the edge of the rink and waited for a moment when William retrieved a puck that had strayed too far. And as he skated back, she called out softly, "Willy." 

He glanced in her direction, surprise flashing across his face before it softened into a small smile, as he skated over to the boards and leaned on them, resting his arms on the top. 

"Hey, JJ," he greeted, his voice quiet but warm. 

Julia offered him a gentle smile in return. "Mind some company?" she asked, her tone soft and understanding. 

“I was just about finish,” he said with an almost husky voice, and she nodded. “Wanna walk with me back to the locker room?” his expression was soft and almost nervous.  

And Julia nodded in agreement. "Of course," she replied, her tone gentle. She understood that he’d might not want to talk, but the important part was that she showed him that she was there for him. 

As they began to walk together, the sound of her heels echoed in the empty corridor. The silence between them was comfortable, and Julia gave William the space he needed. She could sense the weight of the evening's emotions on him, and she wanted nothing but to offer him support in her own way. 

"You know, Willy," she gently broke the silence, "it's okay to share you feelings. You don't always have to be the strong one. We all have moments when we need to let it out, and it doesn't make you any less of a person." 

William glanced at her, his eyes reflecting gratitude. "Thanks, JJ. It means a lot." 

They reached the locker room, and William paused at the entrance, turning to face Julia. "I'm really glad you're here. You're a great friend." 

She smiled warmly in return. "Right back at you, Willy. I'll always be here when you need someone to talk to or just to be there." 

William nodded softly. “Wait for me?” he simply asked, and Julia returned the nod, before he entered the locker room.   

While waiting, she took a look at her phone, as she’d received a message from Charlie: 

“Auston’s here, thanks babe ❤️ Please give my best to William!” 

JJ: “Will do, stay safe love 😘 let me know if you need anything.” 

It had been a night filled with emotions, and Julia felt a sense of comfort knowing that her friend wasn’t alone.  

"You ready?" William asked as he emerged from the locker room. 

"Sure," Julia nodded. "That was quite quick," she remarked, offering a smile, to which William chuckled. 

"Not exactly what a guy hopes to hear from a girl," he joked softly, to which she laughed as well. “Come on, let me drive you home.”  

Exiting the arena, they headed towards the car park, however, William suddenly stopped in his tracks as they reached his car. 

"Would you mind driving?" he asked, his lips forming a slightly crooked smile. 

"Seriously? Of course,” Julia replied with a light chuckle. 

And while navigating the Toronto streets, her focus remained on the road, while William comfortably reclined in the passenger seat. Typically, William was the one behind the wheel; it was his preference. However, tonight, he simply wanted to unwind and not dwell on hockey. 

And Julia was the ideal companion for such a moment. Over time, she had become one of his closest and best friends, someone with whom he could truly be himself. Not that William had trouble being authentic, but with Julia, it was just effortless. He didn't need a social battery, nor to maintain a social facade or sustain his laid-back yet energetic persona. 

Throughout the entire ride, words were few, but they didn't need them either. And as she pulled up to her apartment building, William turned towards her. 

"JJ, I..." he started, his voice gentle. "I don't really feel like being alone tonight." 

Julia could sense that it wasn't easy for him to admit, but it warmed her heart that he sought comfort in her, that he felt this at ease in her presence. 

"Want to come up?" she simply asked, and he nodded. 

Once inside her flat, they both shed their coats and shoes, and as William headed towards the bed, Julia couldn't help but appreciate how laid-back and comfortable he was. His innate calmness seemed to cast a soothing spell over everything around him. 

Without exchanging words, Julia fetched some water for both of them before joining William, who had already settled on her bed, gazing into space. She came to lie down beside him, on her side, facing him, and he turned his head to meet her eyes. 

"Thank you, JJ," he spoke softly. 

"Always.” 

He turned to his side, his gaze locked onto hers, and they shared a moment of gentle intimacy. Julia could feel her heart beating, basking in the warm presence of William. Though their connection held no romantic or sexual undertones, the atmosphere around them was light and soothing. 

Then, William broke the silence. "It's times like this, I remember how much I miss my family." 

Julia took a breath and softly reached for his hand, placing it on the pillow between their faces. 

"How so?" she asked. 

"Simply having someone there, someone who knows you well, to come home to and lift your spirits after a day filled with emotions," William explained in a soft, low tone. 

Julia gently intertwined her fingers with his, feeling the embrace of his hand. She wanted to convey that he was with a friend, a safe haven. 

"Me too," she replied, matching his tone. "Sometimes, everything feels so distant. But then I remember that family isn't just about blood relations; it's also about the people we share our happiest and saddest moments with. It's about those who are there for us when we need them most, and who we are there for in return.” She paused for a moment. “And I find it comforting to know that I have such people around me here... that I've built a home in Toronto and forged friendships I can truly trust – it's all quite remarkable, I think." 

William smiled upon hearing Julia's words. To know that this was how she felt about her friends here, the friends she had made through Charlie, the hockey team, and himself, brought warmth to his heart. 

"I think so too," he softly replied. 

They lay there for a moment, sharing smiles, before the weariness of the day overcame William, and he drifted off to sleep. 

Julia, as quietly as possible, got up and made her way to the bathroom. There, she removed her contact lenses, cleansed her face, and changed into her comfortable t-shirt, before she returned to bed, the room now steeped in tranquillity, ready to join William in peaceful slumber. 

_ 

The following morning, Julia awoke by the buzzing of her phone on the nightstand; a text from Charlie saying everything was good, and that she was happy Auston had come by.  

And she couldn't help but smile as she felt William's arm around her. At some point during the night, she had turned around in her sleep, and it seemed that William had closed the gap between them. They were practically spooning, although he still wore the clothes from the previous night. 

Carefully, she tried to slip out of his grasp without waking him, and she quietly made her way to the bathroom before heading to the kitchen to brew a cup of coffee. 

"Morning," William greeted in a husky morning voice, stirred by the absence of her in bed. 

"Morning," she returned his smile. "Coffee?" 

William nodded, his gaze lingering on her bare legs and the oversized t-shirt that just covered her bottom, the tattoo on her thigh once again reminded him of their intimate night together. But the then shook his head, and offered a smile as she offered him a cup of coffee. 

"I didn't know you wore glasses?" he remarked, noticing her light golden, circular glasses. 

"Well, I guess that just means there's still more to me that you don't know," she teased. 

"I suppose," he chuckled. "They look good on you," he complimented as they sat down at her table. 

"Thanks, Willy.” 

There was a short moment of silence between them. 

"So, thank you for last night," he said with a soft smile. "It meant a lot to me." 

"Of course, I know you'd do the same for me," Julia replied, taking a sip of her coffee. 

"And also," William added. "I wanted to ask you for a favour –" Julia looked at him with mild intrigue. "Would you be willing to look after Pablo and Banksy while I'm away on the road?" 

Julia's eyes lit up like Christmas lights. "Absolutely," she chuckled. 

[hellaverse-critical-confessions]

I hope Lemoncritiques remakes. It was nice to have a critical blog that was chill and not a straight up hater, still having things they liked about Hazbin.

So as far as I'm aware, there was... some situation involving Lemoncritiques. I never encountered their posts, personally, I don't even think they were active by the time I made my blog and I never cared to look further into it as a result. So no comment on that part.

It's true that the critical tag can be a very negative place; I can feel myself get a bit overwhelmed when I peruse it too much too frequently. It's fun to pick on things and dissect them, but you've gotta be careful about striking a healthy balance in your media consuption (whether the one you're critiquing or other stuff you enjoy, because we all enjoy other things, of course, and just because we tend to be negative in this tag doesn't mean we're never positive elsewhere). Which is actually why I used to post background design appreciation (I still have that one ask in my inbox, don't worry, I haven't forgotten and I'll get to it), and behind the scenes I like to craft a lot of worldbuilding and minor/original character lore for my own enjoyment.

I would say that several episode analyses make a point of listing the "pros" AND the "cons", some of which I've even reblogged here. I tend to appreciate that. I also find plenty positivity in the creativity of certain redesigns, which I also have a tag for.

I think the bitterness comes from most of us having relatively high hopes for these shows at the beginning (with Helluva at least), and then just seeing the acres of wasted potential, careless worldbuilding and the creator picking her obvious favorites making a huge mess of it all. Plus the deep dislike for Vivzie as a person and how her views are leaking into her work. Which I can't say is entirely unjustified, even if it does show in the tone of the critiques.

Apologies for the ramble and a half, I wasn't even gonna answer this one at first.

But I wanted to make an announcement, as a bonus:

I'd like you all to stop sending me confessions about IRL drama. From the crew, from the fanbase, from other criticals, from anyone. In my pinned post I have pointed out that I prefer to just discuss the cartoons themselves on this blog.

This is not necessarily @ you, Anon, but something I felt the need to reiterate since I have now gotten two separate asks indicating some people missed that bit of information.