#also probably a hoax
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has no one realized that alex hirsch might have named bill cipher after the beale cipher association. you know the treasure hunting conspiracy with unsolvable codes. and the nsa literally called it the beale cipher association. can anyone hear me
#bill cipher#gravity falls#beale cipher#cipher#nsa#conspiracy theories#treasure hunt#also probably a hoax#is anyone out there
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Hot Take
(I have no clue if this is or isnt a hot take considering I have never seen this take been made before)

Bianca di Angelo would find her hot
#Pjo#pjo hoo toa#pjo headcannon#bianca di Angelo headcannon#Bianca di angelo#Look#bia is at least a little gay okay#At least a little#At fifteen she would’ve forever and always been bejeweled#By Taylor swift#This is me trying okay?#I know her all too well I don’t care if this a treacherous ground I am untouchable on this position okay?#It is timeless in my brain#And you can try#In fact#come back…be here tell me why exactly she wouldn’t find Taylor swift hot okay?#And before you do I would just like you to know that I know places some very illicit affairs take place okay? Long story short I can see yo#Okay? No body no crime if you get what I’m saying#So how about you go ahead#Speak now Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus or what ever the hell your name is#And don’t blame me#The way I see it is Bianca is a blank space that you can write anything into#And it’s not a hoax I just see her as almost dying in the labyrinth then going on to begin again surviving the Great War#Then going on to be a mad woman doing better then revenge vigilante shit serving karma to those she has bad blood with#While finding Taylor swift hot#I also feel like she would be a writer#like She would be fresh out the slammer while re reading her manuscript about the last great American Dynasty#Is it over now?#Yeah okay I’ll stop#This probably took me at least 22 minutes
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not sure these are connected but ‘my best laid plan / your sleight of hand’ —> ‘and all of those best laid plans / you said I needed a brave man / then proceeded to play him until I believed it too’
#I do think best laid plans refer to marriage/family in the black dog and in hoax it’s probably a double meaning#marriage/family but also her career hence the karlie & scott of it all#hoax#the black dog#parallels#folklore#ttpd
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Margaret Cavendish and John Herschel, my beloveds <3
I've drawn these two way less often than the twins, so they'll take some practice but I'm happy with these!! they were fun. :)
#i wanna mess around with clip studio and ✨️experiment✨️ again so my next pulp fanart will probably take a bit!#the idea is dumb but it's also gonna be epic at the same time just wait. it'll be rad.#jack jabbers#pulp musicals#pulp musicals fan art#margaret cavendish#john herschel#sir john herschel#the great moon hoax#tgmh#the brick satellite#tbs#the ghosts of antikythera#tgoa#traditional art#sketches#sketchbook#sketchbook drawing#pencil sketch#artists on tumblr
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honestly I never know how fics will do but I’m so glad you guys have enjoyed fake dating gojo so much 💕
also I got to use a lyric from one of my favorite songs for it 🥹💕
#sab speaks#it’s hoax by Taylor swift#that song is probably top five for me#but that changes all the time#but hoax has remained a constant lmao#I also was very meh about this fic#I really didn’t know how I felt about it I tried super hard#but I felt like I didn’t do as well as I could#but to see so many enjoy it makes me happy 🫶
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top 5 bands/artists?
Hi I just died of happiness from how many things I had in my inbox
Also forewarning I'm like the most basic person in the world with music. I mostly only listen to Taylor Swift, she's my roman empire I love her so much and she's been my number one artist for years now. I'm addicted to her music tbh, I love all of it
So, #1 spot obviously goes to Taylor, one of the best humans to ever walk the earth
I'd say my second favorite artist is actually probably Conan Gray. He's super talented and underrated. His bridges and vocals are angelic
Third spot goes to Fall Out Boy, so many of their songs are so good. They're honestly just such a vibe of a band, I saw them live once, it was awesome
Fourth spot goes to Gracie Abrams :] I discovered her because of Taylor actually (they have a song together, called "us."), and now that I've listened to more of her music, I love it
Fifth spot goes to Mother Mother! Glad I decided to start listening to them, too. They should probably be more popular, imo, they deserve it 😔
Honorary mentions to TV Girl and Panic! At the Disco too :>
#Oh also mcr#I mostly just listen to Taylor though#I think my longest listening streak was 18 days of her music on Spotify#favorite songs are;#For Taylor I'd say Haunted or champagne problems#I can't pick I love all her songs#especially exile and seven and Sweet Nothing and The Great War and My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys and Red and If This Was a Movie#and Better Than Revenge and Back to December and Castles Crumbling and Daylight and Cornelia Street#and All You Had To Do Was Stay and “Slut!” and Wonderland and Dress and Delicate and Don't Blame Me#and I Wish You Would and Wildest Dreams and Forever Winter and Stay Beautiful and Sad Beautiful Tragic#and Ronan and Peter and the Albatross and Fortnight and Shake It Off and Our Song and Picture to Burn and You Belong With Me#and Love Story and White Horse and Untouchable and Last Kiss and Ours and Superman and All Too Well and 22#and Treacherous and Look What You Made Me Do and The Archer and Afterglow and invisible string and mirrorball#and mad woman and illicit affairs and hoax and my tears ricochet and the last great american dynasty and the 1#and the lakes and ivy and cowboy like me and coney island and 'tis the damn season and gold rush and marjorie#and epiphany and Hits Different and Midnight Rain and it's time to go and evermore and Antihero and Maroon#and You're Losing Me and The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived and Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus and Down Bad#and Who's Afraid of Little Old Me? and Guilty as Sin? and How Did It End? and the Black Dog and cardigan and august#HELP THAT ENDED UP BEING WAY LONGER THAN I EXPECTED#I'm a big swiftie okay 💔#Favorite Conan song is definitely Alley Rose that song makes me cry#favorite FOB song is probably Favorite Record or Jet Pack Blues#Favorite Gracie song is Risk or Tough Love :>#favorite Mother Mother song is definitely Arms Tonite oml#also tyyyy for all the asks<33#taylor swift#conan gray#fall out boy#gracie abrams#mother mother
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God forbid I say people's names carry weight.
[he sighs and crosses his arms.]
Yeah, yeah. I know when to back off. I'll drop it. And, kindly, fuck you. Not everyone has access to medication, thank you very much. This level of stress is pretty good for my standards. Decorating, though? Definitely asking the wrong person. I only got my place to not look like a mess... mmmaaaaayybe a year ago? Around when I got my cat. Not sure. But I mean... this is, what, mahogany, yeah? Square rug, dark tones. To match with your desk.
Depends on what atmosphere you're even going for. I think it's great right now, though. Could be cozy with a bit of music.
it's a shit rug. you can admit that. no amount of music could save this thing.
you have a cat? i can imagine it scratches the fuck out of the furniture. that's partly why i don't own one myself. hairballs.
#quackitychirps#ask blog#♾️🪞 anon#ooc: HOAX BLOG LETS FUCKING GOOO#and also rest in peace tiger. you will probably show up as an actual tiger instead one day but we already have a skeleton horse + an iguana#and an axolotle. so.
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Are those special types of American Leftists finally gonna admit that Russia isn't their Lefty Bestie now that it's becoming an increasingly open secret that Russia is buddy-buddy with MAGA? Or would it be more dignified for them to just give up the ghost and fully cross over to the MAGA side?
----Edit-----
Crying because I had this drafted before the DOJ findings were announced and Putin's weird apparent response to the allegations by saying he's backing Harris as some sort of attempt at denial and you know what? That's gonna be it. That's gonna be what chases away the American Leftists from Russia. It's gonna be the Harris part.
#serious themes#us politics#statcat original posts#and also they'll probably be conveniently siding with maga again that this is all a ''hoax''
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can i just say it really pisses me off when people try and say Taylor is childish for still writing about 2016. it was a life altering trauma that haunts her in the middle of the night, shes an autobiographical songwriter and you know what autobiographical songwriters do? write songs about their life, the good, the bad, and the traumatic. if you dont like it then dont let the door hit you in the ass on the way out because she is free to write about her trauma as much as she sees fit
#also we dont know how much this change her#she doesn’t talk about it to the public much#when she does its im music#but i dont think we even know half of what happened to her in 2016#and think she moved heaven and earth to make sure we never find out#and still makes lught adjustments when necessary#im probably missing some stuff but we have thanK you aIMme cassandra long story short the hoax lyric and rep#i also think its a thread the runs through midnights#and a thread that runs through daylight#i also think it will always be there on albums#as a thread or as a topic in songs it will always be there#also im probably missing old times when she talked about it but we atill dont know alot of what happened#even if we think we do#gigi stfu#gigi rants/talks
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give me a reason.
LN x fem!reader



in which… ‘the one where’ lando needs to get his shit together, or lose the love of his life…
hi! it’s me! back again with angst, fluff and filth! i needed to get this the hell away from me bc i worked on it so long that it kinda stopped making sense so i fear this isn’t my best work oopsie! anyways, thanks for being the best bunch ever and pleaseeeeeee let me know what you think - likes, comments and reblogs are so appreciated and make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside soooo you know what to do…
songs to set the vibes: hoax by t swizzle, no i’m not in love by tate mcrae, come over by noah kahan
warnings: 18+!! minors BEGONE! smut, angst!! but also fluff sooo..! friends to something worse to lovers, lando needs to be shot ngl, lando is so messy, max is yet again a victim, r loves wine a lot, alcohol use, swearing, lando has a bitchy gf (we hate her!) for a bit, r is just a girl, p in v, general sex acts, unprotected sex (sigh)
8.2k words
you’re perched at the edge of the booth watching. pietra plies you with drinks, knowing full well that it’s the only way you’re gonna make it through the evening. max sits beside her, an arm wrapped loosely around her shoulder as he glares at his best friend at the bar.
“he’s such an idiot.” max sighs, polishing off the rest of his drink in one. he knows he’s about to have his ear talked off about lando’s latest fling.
“such an idiot.” p scowls. you just laugh, reach for another shot of vodka.
“what do you guys expect?��� you sneer, faking a smile as the bitter liquid warms your belly.
“you guys are meant to be together.” max states. p nods quickly, but pauses.
“not sure if he even deserves you though, baby.” she coos, squeezing your arm softly. you thank her with watery, bleary eyes.
lando’s on his way back over now, the pretty blonde he’d been chatting up for the last ten minutes tucked under his arm. that shuts you all up, but the cold air blasting out of the dimly lit booth could give lando and his mystery woman fatal hypothermia.
“guys, this is casey.” lando grins toothily, ushering you to move around in the booth so they can sit with you. you end up sat between pietra and casey, smushed uncomfortably into the sticky pleather. lando makes the introductions.
“my best friend max, his girlfriend pietra, and,” he clears his throat when his eyes fall on you. “and, um, my other friend.”
my other friend.
you didn’t think he could reach a new low.
“wow.” you hiccup, wriggling closer to pietra.
“i thought she was your best friend.” pietra narrows her eyes at lando, keeps her voice light and teasing.
casey is beautifully oblivious, sky blue eyes remaining firm on the racing driver at her side. you want to throttle them both.
“course. yeah.” he laughs it off awkwardly, before placing all of his attention on his latest conquest. it sounds harsh, sure it does, but you know lando and you know how he operates.
“i’m going. thank you,” you say directly and loudly to max and p, who are shuffling from the seats so you can get out of this prison of couples that you’d been so cruelly trapped in. “for a nice evening.”
you don’t bother to say goodbye to lando.
-
you spend the next morning crying into a cup of coffee, wrapped in three different blankets. deeply, devastatingly hungover.
you spend the afternoon that follows on the phone with max.
“it’ll be over in days, hun, don’t even worry about it. he’s probably trying to get her out of his place right now and can’t even remember her name.” max reassures, and while history would suggest him to be right, something inside of you twists with dread. “i don’t know what he’s playing at.”
“you told me that he… you said he liked me, max.” you groan, hot with embarrassment.
“he did! he does! he thinks you aren’t interested so- “
“i don’t wanna hear it max. i went to abu dhabi, flew in just to surprise him, to finally fucking tell him, and… well you know what happened.”
you’d walked into his hotel room and found him balls deep inside someone else.
needless to say, you weren’t convinced that he was as hopelessly, pathetically in love with you as max claimed him to be; as hopelessly, pathetically in love with you as you were with him.
“i know, i know, but he was hurting. doesn’t excuse the, uh, emotional warfare, but he doesn’t know how you feel.”
“well, at this rate, max, he never will.”
-
you’re stupid for being excited for the group dinner you’ve planned. everyone’s coming, max and p, martin, some of the boys and some of your girls. and lando. you haven’t seen him for a week, not since caseygate, and if you’re being earnest, you don’t really want to. at least he’ll be alone, you think. he doesn’t bring his hookups to group plans.
you think, and god laughs.
he’s the last to arrive, the same blonde with the same striking blue eyes tucked under the same stupid arm. you sink your glass of wine before they even get to the table, leg bouncing frantically against the chair. you swear you see pietras lips recoil into a snarl.
“did you know he was bringing her?” she hisses quietly to max, looking at you cautiously.
“obviously not!” max defends, nostrils flaring.
“sorry we’re late.” you hear from the head of the table. “everyone, this is casey.”
-
half an hour later, after having the magical story of their blossoming relationship shoved down your throat, you escape to the bathroom.
you’re fixing your lipgloss when the door swings open. in casey walks, complete with a hair flick and a tacky, expensive handbag.
“oh, i didn’t even realise you were here tonight.” she speaks, sickeningly false. “i thought i’d notice such a good friend of lando’s.”
you suck in a breath.
“i wouldn’t get too used to little old me.” you shrug, meeting her condescending grin with a better, badder one. “or lando, quite frankly. he’ll get bored soon.”
you leave her in the dust, only letting yourself shake with rage when you know she can’t see you. you bypass the table completely, shoot p a quick text that says you’re going home, and wait for the maître d' to hand you your coat. you wait outside the restaurant for your uber, glance back to see if anyone had even noticed you’d gone. by anyone, you mean one person, and one person only.
lando’s looking around the table, something vacant in his eyes. it’s perhaps the first time you’ve properly looked at him all night. there’s something withered and haunted in his eyes, even from so far away you can see it. he seems to be searching for something, something that he can’t place. someone.
you see that same tired face in your dreams that night, joined by a pretentious, condescending smile, taunting you while you toss and turn.
-
casey becomes such a constant that you’re shocked that lando eventually comes to a party without her. it’s pietra’s birthday, and max is throwing her a party at their apartment.
you’re there early to help max set up when lando walks in, better rested than the last time you’d seen him. he’s wearing a loose white button up and light wash jeans that sit just right, curls a crown atop his head.
“no casey?” max asks subtlety as him and lando hug. you make no move to greet him.
“nah, she had other plans.” he scratches his nose as he says it, and you know it’s a lie. it’s been his tell as long as you’ve known him.
max stares awkwardly between you both, gesturing his head wildly towards you when he knows you’re not looking. lando shrugs, frantic silent conversation transpiring between them until you turn around.
“fuck, forgot candles. silly me! be back in ten.” max doesn’t give you a chance to breathe before he’s darting out the door, jacket slung over his arm. you glare as he disappears out the door.
“you gonna talk to me?” lando questions, hands shoved deep in his pockets. he tries to sound light, nonchalant but it just comes off standoffish, an awkward reminder of just how much distance there is between you now, and how much there has been since he made it his personal mission to sleep with every woman he laid eyes on. except you.
“depends.” you reply flatly.
“on?” you can hear his footsteps against the hardwood floor, inching closer and closer. your hands shake as you untangle the balloons, pouring them out of the packet onto the table. you feel the heat of him before you see him, closing in on you. it’s been so long since you’ve been this close to him that you can anticipate each movement before he even makes it, your senses ultra heightened.
your breath shakes.
“on?” he presses, aware of just how stubborn you can be. “what’s going on with you?”
“nothing, lando. tired, busy, the usual. nothing crazy.” you attempt to shrug him off, but apparently he’s not done with you.
“then why can’t you look at me? did i do something?” he chokes out a laugh, a revelation of how uncomfortable he is.
you brave the sight of him, turning slowly until you’re face to face. he looks beautiful, freshly shaved, curls tamed back but not enough to stop them from hanging over his forehead to frame his face. just the way you like them.
“see? nothing wrong.” you smile tightly, wondering if he can see the effort it takes to make your face move for him, if he can see the tension coursing through your veins like electricity. he seems to scan your face, taking his time, before he sighs, hums like he’s finally satisfied.
“so you’ve been busy?” lando asks, trying to revert to your status quo, but you can’t bare the agony of pretending. “hardly seen you since, uh, abu dhabi.”
“yep.” you quip, disappear into the kitchen just as you hear max’s keys in the front door.
-
a few hours later everyone’s had too much to drink, and the party is in full swing. lando’s persisted more than you thought he’d bother to, and you’ve managed to exchange sentences made up of more than three words apiece. you’ve left your circle to get a drink, about to slip into the kitchen, but hushed whispers stop you from entering.
your blood runs cold when you realise that one set of frantic whispers belong to lando, the other to max. you feel that you should leave, come back when it’s all clear but something tugs on your heartstrings and ties you to the threshold of the room. maybe it’s the possibility for closure, or worse, hope.
“mate you called me basically crying, telling me how in love with her you are, and when she gets there, you’re fucking someone else! what the fuck do you want from her, man?” max spits.
“how the fuck was i supposed to know she was gonna show up?” lando retorts, an edge of desperation in his voice.
“the real question is: why would you sleep with someone if you feel that way about her? why are you fucking around? why are you with casey?”
“because i was hurt, max! she’s been going on all these dates, talking about guys she’s seeing and, what, i’m supposed to put my life on hold waiting for her to love me back? i can’t do it anymore. i can’t.” lando’s voice cracks at the end and you lean into the wall, unable to feel your legs.
“you could have told her, you idiot.” max is having none of the pity party, it seems, finally ready to knock some sense into your mutual best friend.
“and ruin everything? she clearly didn’t want to be with me.” lando argues. max sighs.
“if you actually think that, then you’re a lost cause, mate.” you hear what you assume is. sympathetic slap on the back.
“i’m doing fine with casey, i’m finally getting somewhere. jesus, i haven’t even slept with her yet.” lando whines. your heart stops on the other side of the door.
“so, it’s serious then? you and casey?” max asks, skeptical.
“it could be.” lando admits.
you put yourself out of your misery, loudly opening the door to the kitchen. you act aloof, surprised to see them, but the crease in your forehead is all max needs to see. he knows you heard at least some of it. fifteen years of friendship with him means he can read you like a book. fifteen years of friendship with lando has done nothing but break your heart.
“sorry, guys, didn’t know you were in here.” you feign nonchalance. “just need a drink.” you slide past lando, watching the way his back ripples with tension at the slight brush of your body against his. you let out a deflated breath, wrapping your hand around a cold can of god knows what. all you know is you need a drink, and you need to get out of this fucking kitchen.
you find pietra on the makeshift dance floor, join her and your friends to spin and twirl and forget about the man who’s stood in the corner doing nothing but watch you.
-
a week passes. lando’s wine drunk. you’re laying across one of his sofas, sharing with him, and max and p sit on the other sofa. you’re all giggling about nothing in particular, latest gossip, old anecdotes, random shit that no one’s sober enough to not laugh at. it feels like balance is being slowly restored, like the good old days before it all went sour.
“still can’t believe you did a whole lap of the ski lodge naked.” you tease lando, smirking at him from your end of the sofa. you nudge his thigh with your foot, and he grabs your ankle, thumbing over the sensitive skin.
“a dare is a dare.” he replies, grinning back at you, his gaze lingering even when max interjects.
“again, mate, no one fucking dared you to do that.” max shouts, and you all descend into laughter again.
“i did not need to see some of the things i saw that night.” p grimaces playfully, and you can’t help but flush at the memory of lando’s bare ass disappearing into the snow.
“agreed.” you say, drawing lando’s eyes back onto you.
“you know you loved it.” he raises an eyebrow at you, and you stare bashfully into the wine glass in your hand. you feel his hand squeeze, nails ghosting above your ankle, making you shiver.
“got an early morning tomorrow, fuck.” max groans. “better get going.”
you hug him and p goodbye, graciously offering to help lando tidy up a little as the couple leaves the driver’s london apartment for their own.
you’re carrying empty glasses into the kitchen when you spot it, and it stops you dead in your tracks. the same handbag that casey had carried into that bathroom all those weeks ago. your skin tingles, a phantom touch making you burn.
“so you and, uh, casey are getting serious, huh?” you mumble, finally making it into the open plan kitchen.
lando stands on the opposite side of the marble counter, a tea towel slung over his shoulder, disgustingly domestic.
for her, though. never for you.
“not sure.” he responds flippantly.
“must be, can’t remember the last time you kept a girl around this long.” your attempt at a joke falls flat, even though he’s still tipsy, flushed with alcohol.
“s’that supposed to mean?” lando asks, boyish and defensive.
“nothing, just… you haven’t really seemed in a relationship-y place.” you remark, trying to appear casual as you place the glasses on the countertop.
“i wasn’t but i realised i needed to get my shit together. haven’t even-“ he starts, but cuts himself off abruptly.
“haven’t what?” you press, finding a cloth to wipe the marble clean.
“don’t wanna make things weird by telling you that kinda stuff.”
“lando, you called me when you lost your virginity and couldn’t find your way out of her apartment building. commando. you can tell me.” you deadpan.
as much as you could do without a play by play of his newfound relationship and changed ways, he’s your friend first, and he seems like he needs a shoulder. it would be careless, cruel, even, to deny him of that.
“well, we haven’t, uh, you know.” he looks at you intensely.
“oh. still?”
lando looks at you strangely, wondering what on earth you mean by that, but you swoop in with a get out of jail card that stops him from figuring out you’d eavesdropped.
“i mean, haven’t you guys been together for like a month?” you continue.
“yeah but i guess i figured i should take it slower, deviate from my, uh, usual way.” he admits, scratching his neck.
“oh, that’s… nice.”
“not according to casey.” he mutters, slinging the tea towel across the counter, frustrated.
“what’s that supposed to mean?” you enquire, avoiding eye contact.
“i don’t know, she’s just… she wants it and, fuck, i was trying to be a good fucking guy for once.” lando sighs, disheartened. his eyes are trained on you but you can’t meet his gaze, it would destroy you. “i spent so much time unhappy, wanting something i can’t have, so now i just… what would,” he inhales sharply, centring himself. “what would you want?”
“huh?” you squeak, daring to look at him. the room fades away in the intensity of his stare, his eyes boring into yours. the counter that separates you grounds you, stops you from dropping to your knees and begging him to love you.
“what would you want? how would you want that to be, your first time with someone?”
you stop breathing, curling your fingers around the cool marble.
“i… i don’t know.” you whisper.
“sorry, i knew this would be weird.” he rushes out.
“no, it’s not! well, yeah it is, but,” you inhale deeply. “if it were me, i guess i’d want you to… catch me off guard.” you murmur, leaning against the counter, the swirled marble cool against the bare sliver of skin that your ridden up t shirt exposes. “you know, with a really good kiss - soft at first, but the kind that… as it gets deeper, you know something so good is about to happen.”
lando stares at you, mouth hanging open as you speak softly, so earnestly, into the empty space between you. it seems like a million miles keeps you apart, and his eyes go wild, hungry, like he wants to crawl over the surface and pin you to it as he hangs on to your every word.
“i don’t really know,” you continue, trying to brush it all off, pretend that your entire body isn’t on fire, like you’re not itching for something that cannot be scratched. “but i suppose you’d pull me close, so i’m pressed up against you, and then it would get kind of sweaty, blurry… and then it’s just happening.”
lando seems to be bracing himself, holding position, a tension running through his body that wasn’t there before. he’s flushed, and if you squint, there’s a bead of sweat slowly dripping down his forehead, giving him away. your nails dig into your palms, a reboot to your system, and you shuffle backwards awkwardly, recoiling from the counter that keeps you from him.
“okay. uh, okay.” he whispers, nodding rapidly. “i’ll keep that it mind.”
“i’ll put the glasses away in the dining room.” you tell him hurriedly, grabbing the stems and hurtling out of the kitchen. when you reach his dining room, where the air seems to be much thinner, normal, you exhale shakily and book an uber.
“thought you would stay here.” lando strains when you tell him, watching you shrug your coat on.
“can’t tonight.” you reply, clipped.
“can we… can we get dinner this week maybe? just us?” lando pleads, doesn’t even try to hide the desperation in his voice.
“lando… i don’t think that’s a good idea.” you finally give up the ghost, looking him right in the eyes.
“why not?”
“you know why.”
he breathes your name, takes a step closer to you as you take a step back.
“no, i really don’t. why have you been so distant? i know what you saw in abu dhabi was weird but-“
“do you know why it was weird, lando? do you know how that made me feel?”
“no, because you haven’t said anything. tonight was the first night in months that you’ve seemed okay and now you’re being off again.”
“imagine finally thinking that the guy you’re in love with finally feels the same, only to walk in on him fucking some random person.” you bellow, tears slipping over your waterline. you breathe heavily, the admission taking tons off of your shoulders.
“what?” he gasps, jaw going slack.
“forget it.” you mumble, backing away towards the door. you can’t believe the relief you feel, exhausted from the pretending. you can’t even bring yourself to care about the repercussions.
“no, i- what the fuck did you just say?” lando’s eyebrows are drawn together tight, confused.
“you heard me.” your words are hushed, shy, laced with a tremble that makes his chest ache.
“i didn’t know.” is all he can say, staring at you with a desperation that makes you want to stay. you know better.
“it doesn’t matter now. you said yourself, you wanna be happy with her. so do it, go be happy with her.” you tell him, your lack of malice astounding.
“why can’t you fight for us?” he whispers, finally dares to go there.
“i did. abu dhabi. that was me fighting for you.” you scoff at his audacity. “why can’t you fight for us?”
“i didn’t know.” he repeats, voice going up an octave with annoyance. “imagine watching the girl you’ve been in love with for years go on dates, listen to her talk about the guys she’s seeing.” he hits back.
“maybe we’ve both made mistakes, lando, but i tried to put myself out there and got hurt. why would i do that to myself again?” you retort, crossing your arms over your chest protectively. your heart pounds in your chest, flustered at his admission, as much as you try and hide it from him. it hits different to hear him say it to your face; it didn’t cut as deep when you’d heard it lingering outside max’s kitchen.
“if i thought for a second that you felt how i felt - how i still feel - none of this would have happened, abu dhabi, casey, none of it.”
“but now you’re with her and, great, that’s fine, i’m just not sure how to be your friend right now.”
“no, no, we’re not throwing that away. even if we can’t be together,” you both visibly deflate at the word. “i know it’s so fucking selfish but i can’t lose you like that too.”
“give me a reason, lando. because right now? you’ve already lost me.”
when you get into the uber, you’re sobbing, and you’re sure the poor man that had the misfortune of picking you up understands when he turns the radio up - taylor swift is playing - and smiles at you sadly.
-
he’s spinning aimlessly in his gaming chair when max finds him.
“what the actual fuck is wrong with you?” is all max has to say, looming in the doorway to lando’s office.
“what happened to a simple ‘hello’?” lando grumbles.
“you’ll get a simple hello when you stop being a dick.” max replies, matter of fact.
lando laughs bitterly in response.
“just tell me one thing. one thing that makes no fucking sense to me. why are you still with casey?”
“i don’t know if i ever really was.” lando observes, eyes vacant and tired. “she was a distraction and i’m an asshole.”
“well, at least you know.” max mutters under his breath. lando can’t even muster a glare his best friends way.
“i ended it about an hour ago.” lando starts. “she told me that she was gonna go public, call me a cheater, say that i used her as a pawn. don’t even get me started on what she was gonna say about…” lando trails off, can’t even say your name. he feels like he doesn’t deserve to.
“fuck.” max sighs, finally walking into the room. he takes a seat on the small sofa. “what are you gonna do?”
“spoke to my team. they’ll deal with her. told me that they all deserve a pay rise and i don’t disagree.”
“and what about…” max echos his friend, trailing off. he leans forward with anticipation.
“i don’t know, man. i love her but i know i don’t deserve her, not after all this. she deserves to be happy and all i seem to do is make her miserable.”
“mate, she wasn’t miserable because you were just friends. she was miserable because you were ignoring her, choosing randoms over her. you know that, right?” max says, finally something resembling gentle in his tone.
“if i couldn’t even be a good friend, how the fuck am i gonna be a good boyfriend?”
“figure it out, you knob. all this feeling sorry for yourself isn’t working out. be honest with her for once, tell her how you feel. it’s not rocket science, lando. she loves you more than you deserve, so pull yourself together and fucking show her that she is everything to you.”
-
the next week is spent working far too hard and sleeping far too little.
you don’t hear from him, and he doesn’t hear from you, but it’s how it should be. if there’s no distance, you’d have a whole set of problems on your hands, forced on you by a can of worms that needed to stay sealed. it’s better this way, you relentlessly tell yourself.
max and p bring you dinner the night things change.
“you sure i can’t convince you to come work at quadrant?” max prods, taking in the ridiculous amount of papers and spreadsheets that have taken over your living room. “wouldn’t be as intense as this.”
“for so many reasons: no.” you shoot him a look, one that says leave it alone. he nods, gets the hint, and drops onto the scrap of sofa that isn’t covered in paperwork.
“you’ve been sleeping though, yes?” pietra asks, eyebrows raised with concern. she knows how you get.
you hum in acknowledgment, avoiding eye contact as you plate the food they’ve brought. p sighs.
“have you spoken to him?” max finally asks, and you know it’s taken everything in him to not ask, in the short five minutes he’s been in your flat.
“max!” pietra hisses, and he raises his hands in surrender.
“c’mon, you knew i’d have to ask, especially considering he’s been a little bitch all week.” max defends.
“i haven’t. told him i needed space.” you shrug.
“how’s that working out for you?” max gestures to the mess that engulfs the room, swallows it whole. again, you shrug.
“fine.” you stress, digging in to the chinese food. max scoffs and you snort with a mouthful of noodles when pietra glares at him.
“well, he’s miserable, and you’re behaving like someone who’s gonna end up on a true crime documentary, so sue me for asking.” he scolds sarcastically.
“okay, you want the tea?” you roll your eyes. “he told me they hadn’t had sex. i gave him advice - against the better judgment of literally anyone ever, by the way - tried to leave and he fucking ambushed me. wanted to have dinner with me, as if he hasn’t been pushing me away for months, and then had the fucking audacity, max, to ask me why i won’t fight for us, for him - oh! and he still has a girlfriend! so, you know what, you got me, i’m not doing so great but,” you choke out a laugh, opening the box of prawn toast. “too fucking bad.”
“i promise you, this will pass and casey will be gone and then-“
“and then me and lando can go back to pretending and avoiding and hurting each other. can’t wait.”
max shakes his head in defeat, knows he has to let lando fix this himself. he has no chance of winning this one with you.
“eat your noodles.” is all he has left. pietra disappears into your kitchen, and returns with a bottle of wine.
you eat together, put on netflix, slumped into the sofa as you try and relax. you’re halfway through your first drink when your phone buzzes. assuming it’s your overbearing boss, who apparently doesn’t sleep either, you pick it up and quickly wish you hadn’t.
lando: can you come over
like now
if you can
please. please please please please
we broke up.
“holy shit.”
you sit up suddenly, scan the room for your bag and a jacket. you don’t care that you’re in old sweats, you just feel the need to move, to get to him before common sense kicks in.
“you good?” max asks.
“uh, i need to go, like right now. stay and finish the wine if you want, but i just need to go to-“
“lando?” max and p ask simultaneously, and you burn with embarrassment.
“i can’t even try and lie to you right now. is this pathetic?” you question.
“no! go!” max shouts, exasperated, standing to usher you out of your own apartment.
-
twenty minutes later, you knock on his door.
when it opens, he’s disheveled in a way that makes you hug him immediately, his touch disturbingly foreign, and you feel him sink into your hold. he pulls you inside, kicks the door shut, and doesn’t let you go.
“sofa?” you murmur into his hoodie. you feel him nod, and you part, pad towards the lounge as you shrug off your jacket.
“hi.” he says tiredly, as soon as you’re both sat.
“hey.” you coo back. your eyebrows are drawn together as you take him in, concern woven through your features. “sorry about casey.” lando scoffs.
“don’t be, don’t even know what i was thinking.”
“well, neither do i,” you retort. “but i’m still sorry. did it happen just before you texted?” you ask.
“no, a week ago.”
“a week ago?” you gasp. “but that would mean…”
“yeah. right after you left here. asked her to come over and ended it. she told me she was gonna go to the media with a whole load of shit, so i’ve been sorting things out.”
“i’m so sorry.” you whisper.
lando laughs.
“you’re sorry? god, you’re way too fucking good for me.” he scoffs, bitter with self deprecation. “i can’t believe you even came, to be honest.”
“course i came. i might be angry at you, but you- you wanted me to, so…”
“i don’t even know where to start. i’m just so sorry about the last few months. i thought i was losing you and it drove me insane, but i should have never, ever taken my shit out on you.”
“what do you mean? losing me?”
“the dates, the guys. god, it was awful of me but it killed me.”
“that was only because i didn’t think i had a chance.”
“well, if it makes you feel any better, i didn’t think i had a chance either.” he laughs. “so what you said about abu dhabi… was that why you came? to tell me?”
“yeah, kinda. after some… encouragement from a mutual friend, i was gonna tell you that i wanted us to be more.”
lando shifts closer, your thighs pressing together. you can feel his body heat, so warm and inviting, drawing you closer.
“more.” lando repeats, tasting it on his tongue, the weight of everything he’s ever wanted since he was sixteen and fell in love for the first time.
“yeah, and then it seemed like you didn’t want that.”
“you must know by now that i also want more.” he murmurs, fingertips brushing your forearm. you keen into the barely there touch that traces over your skin.
“i’d say that’s been implied, yeah.” you joke, searching his eyes. they’re hooded, swirling with an intensity that you never thought you’d experience with another person. “um, i heard you and max. the night of pietra’s birthday.” you admit.
“fuck,” he sighs, shoulders sagging. “i’m so sorry, i swear, i never meant to put you through any of this. ‘m so, so sorry.”
“i know you are.” you whisper, loaded with a sincerity that only you could give him. “but you can never, ever treat me like this lando. i mean it.”
“i need you to know that i never meant to hurt you.” he swallows down a lump in his throat, voice wobbling just enough for you to notice.
“i do, lando.” you grab his hand, squeeze it tight.
“what do you want from me now? anything you want, i promise - i’m yours.”
“i want us to try, to see where this goes. i think we owe it to ourselves to see.”
“i never thought i’d ever get a chance with you.” lando laughs softly, the hand on your arm travelling to ghost over your cheek.
“why?”
“because i don’t think there’s anyone on this planet that’s good enough for you.” he confesses, leaning in until your foreheads touch.
“i don’t think that’s true, at least not where you’re concerned.” you breathe.
“how are you real?” it’s barely a whisper, barely audible, but it hits your ears like an alarm.
“don’t go all existential on me now.”
“then what should i do?”
“kiss me.”
“doesn’t that go against your whole ‘catch me off guard’ philosophy?” he murmurs, one hand reaching up to cup your jaw. your foreheads are still pressed together, eyes roaming each others.
“you’ll have plenty of time to surprise me.” you whisper.
you take a second to admire one another, the proximity mingling your warm breaths. when your lips finally brush, it’s slow, tentative, silent exploration. he tilts your head so that he can kiss you deeper, fingers sliding from your cheek into your hair. you emit a quiet moan, open up for him so he can taste you, and the feeling of him licking into your mouth sends your mind utterly blank.
he��s all consuming, totally intoxicating, a fresh blend of mint and something so blatantly lando that you feel like you’re floating. you find his neck, threading your fingers through the short strands at the nape of his neck. you hear something from deep in his chest, feel the vibrations of the low rumble as he presses you even closer to him.
when you inevitably break apart for air, he looks dazed, grinning like a fool as he smoothes his hand through the loose strands of your hair that fall around your face.
“i’m sorry that took so long.” lando hums, leaning in to peck your lips again. you can’t help but smile into it, in a daze of your own.
“me too.” you manage between smiling dopily up at him.
“you’re so beautiful.” he coos, still entranced. “you wanna stay here tonight?”
you hesitate for a second. he notices, interlacing your fingers with his.
“for the record, um, she never did. i couldn’t have her that close.” he mumbles, looking down at your hands guiltily.
“why?”
“didn’t feel right. she wasn’t,” he inhales shakily and meets your gaze again, piercing you with hazy blue hues. “she wasn’t you. i think that’s the real reason that i couldn’t… you know, with her.”
“i’ll stay.” you whisper, nodding softly. it’s all you can formulate as a response.
“i can make up the guest room.” he says wearily, posing it as more of a question than a statement, putting out the feelers. you scowl, eyes sparkling with a mischievous danger that leaves lando’s mouth bone dry.
“don’t bother.”
-
the grey linen of his bed sheets are soft against your skin as you sink into his mattress, watching intently as he pads around his room. you can smell him everywhere, a tangy, fresh musk that you want to bottle up and keep forever. lando glows in the dim, warm light of his bedroom and you feel a pang of regret that it’s taken this long to get here, muddled with a sense of relief that finally, you’ve made it.
“‘m gonna take a quick shower, okay? make yourself comfortable.” lando says, pauses for a second to take in the sight of you in his bed.
“okay.” you smile softly, eyes heavy with sleep as you relax further into the cushions. you hear the water running, white noise that allows your thoughts to run wild. the slide of the shower door grabs your attention and you think of him under the spray of water, bronze skin damp, hair slicked back.
when will it be your turn to see him like that, you wonder, musings of him pressed against you, bare and firm, flitting through your wandering mind. you realise, then, that you have him; he’s yours. why delay the inevitable?
slowly, you rise from the mattress, breathing shakily as your shirt comes off. your sweats follow, a trail of your clothes leading to the en-suite door. you can hear him humming to himself, the echo barrelling through your shaking body. you’re frantic with tension, a tinge of embarrassment, but then you consider his beautiful words, his confessions of love, and banish the feeling of shame that threatens to ruin you before you’ve even started. you unhook your bra, shimmy out of your panties, and grip the door handle. it turns slowly, steam spilling out of the room immediately, yet you shiver with anticipation.
“room for one more?” you call, and he jumps, turning suddenly.
you can’t make him out clearly, the fog painted across the shower door concealing his lean frame, and it draws you in closer, anticipation swirling in your belly.
he responds by sliding the door open, and you join him under the hot water. his eyes stay firmly on yours, body opening up to invite you in, hold you close as the spray hits you. the heat loosens your muscles, and you sink into him.
“fuck.” you hear him whisper, more to himself than to you.
“hi.” you breathe.
“am i dreaming?” lando blinks, a slow smile spreading across his face as he not so subtlety rakes his eyes over your frame.
“no,” you purr. “i’m real. this is real.”
his hands find your waist and you loop your arms around his neck, the kiss he pulls you into heated with a slow burning passion that makes you ache.
“you’re so pretty.” he pants into your mouth, firm and desperate - so sincere that it shakes you to your core.
“you’re perfect.” you choke out, mesmerised, alight in his thick hands.
“let me show you,” he starts, pauses briefly to kiss you. “wanna worship you.”
his words make you chase him for a kiss that doesn’t come. instead, he turns you to face away from him, your back to his front. you feel the cool spread of shower gel against your back, calloused hands working it into your skin gently. your hair, heavy with water, is pushed over your shoulder and you turn your head just enough to find his lips. your mouths move with intent as he works the soap down your back and over your waist. it tickles and you keen into him, enough that he holds you tighter, angles your hips away from his.
“careful, baby.” he warns lowly, his lips brushing over the shell of your ear.
“don’t wanna be careful.” you half moan, but he grips your hips even harder.
“not tonight, yeah? let me look after you. need you to know that i’m serious about this.” lando pants, his self restraint thin as it hits your ears. you smirk.
“you back on your ‘good guy’ bullshit?” you tease, throwing him a look over your shoulder. you catch sight of his lip caught between his teeth, wet curls matted against his forehead, and a wave of pure need washes over your body.
“for you? fuck yeah.” he manages, crouches down to lather soap down your legs. his hands roam your inner thighs, dangerously, painfully close to where you really need him to touch you, and you groan defeatedly.
“you’re horrible.” you sigh when he’s back to his full height, facing you once more. he flashes you a cheeky smile, fingertips smoothing over your arms.
“wanna get this right.” he shrugs.
“we could get it right - right here, right now.” you pout.
“patience.” lando cautions, rubbing over your sternum. he grazes over the underside of your breasts, daring to go even higher. you let out a broken sigh, shuddering at his incessant attention.
“asshole.”
“we already knew that about me, baby.” he winks. he maintains eye contact as he cups your breasts, massages them just enough to leave you wanting. his touch vanishes, then, and the elastic band of tension seems to snap. “rinse off, i’ll leave a towel for you.”
just like that, he’s gone.
-
you stretch like a cat across the mattress, the low sun sending the early light streaming through a devastating crack in the curtains. it leaves you disoriented - the sun never hits your own bedroom like that.
quickly, you remember you’re not in your own bed, partly because of the heavy arm that sprawls over your tired body, pinning you to the mattress. his breath hits your bare shoulder in heavy puffs that warm your skin, leaving your tingling as your curl further into the curve of his body. your movements nudge his head into the crook of your neck, his nose bumping the sensitive skin there and he stirs slightly, puckers his lips into a gentle kiss at the base of your throat.
you roll over, his arm weighing heavy against the curve of your waist the whole time. when you’re face to face, his eyes are still closed, unfairly long eyelashes dusting his cheekbones, but a smile is painted languidly across his lips. he looks so soft, boyish, perfectly unreal that you snuggle closer to him.
“go back to sleep.” he groans, hardly opening his mouth as if it’s too much work in his cosy state.
“not tired anymore.” you whisper into the slight space still left between you. your lips find his jaw, trailing across it until you find a sensitive spot just below his ear. he shivers, but he still doesn’t open his eyes. you smirk, tracing your tongue carefully over the definition of his jawline. you suck, bite down gently.
“really?” he murmurs, still smiling like a fool, only intensified by your movements. you hum in response.
“go back to sleep, baby.” you coo, sealing the hickey you’ve left with a delicate kiss, one that contradicts the harsh mark you’ve left.
“drives me insane hearing you call me that.” he sighs, almost pained. the newfound friction against your thigh explains why.
“does it, baby?” you murmur, right in his ear.
“roll over, honey. get comfortable for me.” is all he says in return. electricity shoots down your spine as you oblige, resuming your previous position.
“that’s it, c’mere.” lando rasps, sliding impossibly closer. you can feel the full length of his body pressed against yours, heat seeping from his bronze skin onto yours. your eyes flutter shut, a delicious buzz coursing through you as the anticipation grows.
you can feel where he’s hard, solid against the curve of your ass and you keen into him, arched into his front as much as you possibly can be. your thighs clench together, liquid heat pooling between them. your mouth hangs open as his hand grazes the outside of your thigh, smoothing over the thickness of them before he pulls them apart. his hand slots between them - a perfect fit - and he wastes no time grazing his knuckles over the damp cloth of your panties.
“lando.” you sigh, utterly content. it’s been a long time coming, but it already seems like it was worth the wait.
“you’re so wet for me already. you want me?” lando growls against the shell shell of your ear.
“touch me, baby.” you plead, pressing your ass harder against him. he hisses, thumbs hard at your clit in response.
you mewl, squeezing your thighs around his hand but he forces them apart, his arm tensing as he does. you grip it hard, nails digging into his forearm but he doesn’t relent. he rubs firm circles into the bundle of nerves over your panties, fingers dipping down to press into the wet patch quickly pooling in the lace.
“take them off.” you urge.
he quickly complies, fingertips grazing your hips as he slides the material off of your frame. as one hand settles back between your thighs, two deft fingers pinching your clit, his other snakes under the old mclaren t-shirt he’d leant you. he traces the pudges of your belly, scaling up, up, up, tickling across your ribs until he caresses the curve of your breast, his whole hand engulfing it. he plucks a nipple between his fingers at the same time he slides a digit between your folds, spreading your wetness around.
“feeling good for me, honey? do you know how sexy you are for me, making a mess, wearing my shirt?” lando muses, dangerously low. his voice is strained, a side affect of the hold your have on him, of how entranced he is by the way you writhe against him.
“so good.” you choke, rolling your hips to meet his hand. “need more.”
“more? is my girl greedy?” he taunts, circling your entrance with the tip of his finger.
“please?” you’re not above begging him. it does the trick.
you both moan at the way he stretches you around one finger, the single digit sliding deep. he grinds it into you, palm nudging against your clit with every move he makes. one finger becomes two and you gasp out his name, your hand finding his under the shirt, holding it to your chest. he squeezes your flesh, tweaking at your nipple until it’s hard between his fingers and your ass is grinding faster into his crotch. when he moves on to your other breast, you choke out a moan that tears through the both of you, the tension so thick in the room that it’s stifling.
“c’mon baby, i need you inside of me.” you beg, your voice a pathetic garbled whine, one that makes him falter and suck in a harsh breath.
“not sure you can take it, pretty girl. so tight just around my fingers.” lando challenges, slowing his fingers so that you can hear exactly what he’s doing to you. he curls them with every thrust, reaching a spot that temporarily leaves you blinded in the throes of his searing touch. “you’re gonna cum for me like this first, yeah? and then we’ll see if you can take me.”
“can’t- lando please just-“
he shushes you.
“you’re gonna let me give it to you, honey. you’re gonna take it all, because you’re a good girl, right?” his voice is so condescending, so commanding that it makes you throb around him, his fingers flexing harder and faster as he senses your lurking orgasm. “that’s it, honey, i can feel you. come on.” he urges.
your body spasms hard against his as it hits, any semblance of sleep shaken out of you as you fall apart. he holds you close, rides you through it - palm flat on your overstimulated clit while his fingers gently coax you over the edge. he’s hitting every spot, toying with every piece of you he can get his hands on. the hand alternating between your tits roams up to your neck squeezing briefly, just to tease, before he cups your jaw, turning your head enough so he can capture your lips in a feral kiss. it’s needy, full of greed as he swallows your cries of pleasure, keeps them all for himself.
when you go limp against him, the coils of tension finally loosening, he slips his fingers out slowly. you’re panting against his chest, descending back to reality, when you hear the telltale hum, a soft pop - he’s sucking his fingers clean.
“taste so fucking good.” he finally speaks, slick fingers pushing your shirt up your body and you manoeuvre it over your head. it’s tossed away, lost to the shadowy room.
“lando,” you hum. “i’m ready.”
it’s a plea that he can’t ignore, the duvet rustling around you. you feel him kick off his boxers and then he’s pressing his cock against the curve of your ass once more. its big, leaking already, and your mind goes completely and utterly blank.
“you feel so good against me.” he notes, dazed at the sensation of your bare flesh warm against his. “you sure?” he mumbles, pressing a firm kiss against the base of your neck, his hands working to reposition your legs so that he can slip into you.
“never been more sure in my life.” you promise, tingling with the anticipation.
he’s so close that you can feel the pulsing heat of him between your parted thighs. the head of him nudges over your clit and he drags himself up and down, coating his cock with your wetness. you’re frustrated - ready to flip the two of you over, fuck yourself full, but he beats you to it. the stretch of him makes you gasp, knuckles white as you grip the soft bedding. when his hips meet yours, he pauses, teeth sinking into your shoulder, utterly overwhelmed. you’re not doing much better, one hand snaking up behind you to find his curls, tugging softly on the messy strands. he likes it, groaning into the marks he’s leaving on your shoulder, lips trailing messily up your neck.
the sunlight streams harshly through the crack in the curtain, momentarily blinding you. it leaves you with only the feeling of him, a golden haze invading your other senses. he’s gripping your hip so hard that you’re certain that you’ll be able to map out each of his fingerprints after.
“can i move?” he rasps, punctuating his request with a delicate kiss just below your ear. you shiver, clenching around him tight, and he bucks into you inadvertently. it sends sparks shooting up and down your spine, an electric wave of pleasure that has your eyes fluttering shut.
“you better.” you implore.
“you’re fucking perfect around me.” he grunts, beginning to build a rhythm. it’s one that leaves you both breathless, brainless, unable to utter anything besides the relentless chants of each-others names, the needy wanton moans that neither of you can hide.
lando’s hands are everywhere, your hips, your ass, wrapped around your sternum to pull you back into him, plunging himself even deeper into you. you claw blindly at any part of him you can reach, braindead from the way he’s fucking you. you and him are like a tidal wave, surging closer and closer to shore after years of dormancy, of an aching, crushing build up. now, as it peaks, it could destroy you, wash you away and leaves you nothing. you know he won’t. you know by the way he’s holding you, by the soft whimpers he lets you hear, by the way he makes you feel more alive than you have in months.
“i’m so close.” your voice quivers, pleasure bleeding into the edges of your words.
“i’m gonna get you there, pretty girl. you’re so good for me.” he promises, one hand slipping between your thighs. he finds your clit, plays with it between his fingers. messy swirls combined with precise flicks make you shake “i can feel you, honey. can feel you holding back. let it all out for me.”
he sounds wrecked, like he’ll die if he can’t feel you let go around him. you feel the start of your orgasm crawling from the tips of your toes, up your legs, and into the fire pit of your belly.
“that’s it, give it to me.” lando whispers, his voice so far away, even though he’s right there, talking you through it with his lips pressing the shell of your ear.
“i love you, lando.”
with that, you shatter into a million pieces, convulsing around him, against him, trying to get impossibly closer to him as you simultaneously try and squirm away. he holds you close, barrelling into you with fast, deep rolls of his hips. each thrust taps into your special spot, stars clouding your vision, his name the only word on your lips, the only word that has ever existed.
“where do you want it?” he asks quickly, urgently anticipating his own end.
“inside of me.” you pant, delirious, but he’s not in the space to do any critical thinking - you love him! - so he takes your words at face value.
a guttural groan hits your ears like a sonic boom, his body tight and firm against your sweat slick back. he squeezes you tight as he fills you up, submitting totally to the heat of your core, to the intoxicating way you draw him in.
“i love you, too.” he mumbles into your shoulder, kisses the words into your flushed skin. “i always have.”
he flops onto his back, slipping out of you carefully first, a lazy smile on his face. his eyes are shut, angelic once more as if he hadn’t been whispering filth into your ear just a minute prior.
“we gotta do more of that.” lando laughs, blindly reaching out for you. you slip into his welcoming arms, draping yourself over his body.
“think i need a shower. maybe you can make up for leaving me in there last night.” you giggle, agreeing that, yes, you absolutely need to do more of that.
he hugs you closer, a kiss placed atop your forehead.
“you can have anything you want, honey.”
-
phew.
-
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lust ☆ fc43
genre: smut, angst, unreliable narrator(s), pathological liars, forbidden “love”, douchebag!franco, journalist!reader, mentions of sexuality
word count: 16.6k
lust (noun) — intense, often uncontrolled, sexual desire or craving, but can also refer to a strong desire for something else, like power or material possessions.
nsfw warning under the cut!
18+...unprotected sex, f!receiving, oral sex, missionary sex
inspired by red sex (re-strung) [rakhi singh]
cherry here!... don’t ask me who’s lying because boy i don’t even know lol this is messyyyy—welcome to the twisted world of lust mwah!

“Logan Sargeant is out, Franco Colapinto is in!”
Face mask dried up. Towel tied up. The Sound of Music plays. You let out a muffled scream, eyes growing wide with shock.
“Are you serious?”
Lissie nods, jumping onto the open space beside you on the bed, grabbing a chocolate covered pretzel and popping it into her mouth. “As serious as a heart attack.”
“Woah,” you say, letting out a sigh, sympathy washing over at the thought of someone’s dream coming to an end. “That…woah.” A beat. “Wait. How do you know?”
The brunette wiggles her brows theatrically. “I don’t—it’s a rumor.”
You roll your eyes, shoulders drooping as you go back to relaxing. “You’re so silly, Elisabella.”
By now, you’ve reached for the control and switched off the television, opting into the idea of a book. The one you’ve been dragging all over the world for the past few months, but you haven’t managed to actually flip through a single page. And it looks like today isn’t the day, either.
Lissie scoffs, ripping the novel straight out of your hands. “I’m providing you with the juiciest piece of information, and you’re taking it with a grain of salt?” Bewildered, she skims through the pages, using it as a fan, then tosses it into the unknown, making you frown. “I’m telling the truth!”
“Are you, though?” you challenge. “I mean, you said it yourself—it’s a rumor.”
“Yeah, and rumors are the truth,” she retorts quickly.
“Not always,” you push back, wagging a finger as she pushes it down, making you want to crack a smile. “It could also be nothing but a hoax.”
“Since when?” As soon as you open your mouth, she’s quick to slap a hand over your lips, causing the mask to break. Lissie! you squeal against her hand as she lets out a snort and a poor apology. “You’re just choosing to ignore it because you were rooting for the American.”
Finally, pushing her away, you stick your tongue out. “The American has a name. Plus, the sport has treated him like dirt, how could I not cheer him on?”
She pops another pretzel, crumbs falling onto her lap. “Look, I know you’re being an empath and all, but that’s life for ya.”
And you know she’s right, but over the course of time, given the very few chances you’ve gotten to interview Logan, you’ve come to realize how much of a softie he is and you like that, because in a way, you see yourself in him. “When is the news coming out?”
Buzz! Buzz!
Darting her eyes down to her phone, she lets out a sad smile, and you know she feels just as bad as you.
“Looks like it just did.”
-
The paddock has been swirling with anticipation ever since the news and it’s safe to say that every journalist has their eyes set on the smiley Argentinian who enters it without a single care in the world. Camera’s flash, people stare, and he seems to like it. Why wouldn’t he?
“I heard he likes to be interviewed mainly in Spanish,” Lissie hums besides you, spectating just the same as everyone else. Sipping on her iced tea, she squints, watching as the brunette disappears against the crowd. “Diva.”
You laugh. “How so?”
“He thinks his fans interact more with him in his native language, but that just can't be true—can it?” Another sip. “Probably not. Nobody speaks Spanish in this sport.”
“Carlos? Fernando?” you question with a soft smile, one that she ignores.
“Excluding drivers,” she clarifies. “He’s just looking for attention because he knows he can.”
Spinning to face your friend, your brows pinch together with curiosity. “Can what?”
Lissie snickers, biting down on her straw. You’ve always been this way—naive. She sees things you don’t, and sure, that adds to your charm, but sometimes, she genuinely worries. “Get it.” When you fail to understand, she lets out a dramatic sigh, patting your head like a dog, causing you to blink with wonder. “Attention. I’m referring to attention.”
Heat surfaces towards your face as you look away, brushing the embarrassment off. “Duh. Of course, that's what I was thinking….”
Minus the constant cheers for him, there's silence where you two stand, taking part in people watching as if your lives depended on it. And somewhere in between the line—the thin, thin line— he turns to face in your direction.
Instantly connecting his gaze—with you.
As if it's a daily occurrence, your breath hitches, making you flinch with surprise. He seems to notice—the effect he's made on you—and this gets a smile out of him, loopy and mischievous, all at once. You don't like the way he's looking at you, like he knows you. Like he can tell you things about yourself that you haven't figured out yet. Overall, you hate it.
Especially with how fast your heart is beating.
“Damn it.” The Brit groans. “Even I miss the American. This lad just seems to be full of himself already, don’t you think?”
Except, you don't, because your mind is no longer in control and you're no longer sane. It appears all of that has gone out the window the moment he's walked into the paddock, chased by girls. And you despise the way you can feel yourself becoming one of them.
Oh yeah, you murmur, still not looking away, but he has, already signing a bunch of merch. You blush, shaking your head in complete daze. “Way too, uh…full of himself, indeed.”
-
Franco Colapinto is one of a kind.
He never takes anything seriously, never lets his mistakes bother him for too long. He thinks lingering in moments like those is stupid and unnecessary, and he'd rather just have fun. Very few get it, but that’s not something he cares about, to be quite honest.
He had gotten the call last minute. He was in Brazil with…friends.
And without a doubt in mind, he accepted to drive for Williams. Things apparently haven't been working out for Logan, and while he felt pity for his distant friend, he couldn't help but feel ecstatic to get the chance to drive a Formula One car. This was his dream.
And it all went down the way he had pictured. All eyes were on him, not a singular second passed without someone turning to look. He can tell some were confused, he can tell some were shocked, but he enjoyed every last bit of it.
He loved the way girls stared, admiring him in ways he’s gotten quite used to. He loved sending sly smiles and seeing them burn up in return. He loved knowing he’s figured out things that other guys haven't had the time of day to figure out themselves.
He just loved the attention.
“I’ve had a blast, uh, driving with those I’ve looked up to ever since I was a little boy,” he says with a sheepish smile, eyes crinkling as Will nods, taking notes and raising the microphone. Franco chuckles. “I can’t wait to continue.”
He gets along with everyone and they all want to be his friend. This is normal and he likes that he’s fitting in with ease. Though, for some odd reason—
“I don’t think they like me much,” he admits once the interview is over, making Will quirk a thick brow, turning his attention to where you and Lissie stand, waiting impatiently for him.
The journalist snickers. “You’re joking, right?”
Only, he’s not. He knows when people tolerate him and you two aren’t one of them. He doesn’t know why he suddenly cares given he doesn’t really know either of you, but he just knows that he does. Very much, actually. Scratching the back of his neck awkwardly, the brunette looks away, ignoring the laser being aimed at him, particularly from the British girl.
He doesn’t say anything after that, just makes his way closer, watching as you whisper something to your grumpy friend before flashing him a warm smile.
“Oh God, he’s coming.”
“Relax,” Lissie quips, standing straight. “We can’t inflate his ego, remember?”
“What ego?” you hiss, palms sweating as he inches closer. You gulp. “I have to be nice, I’m always nice!”
“Yeah, well not this time, you aren’t,” she declares adamantly, causing you to shake your head.
“I’m sorry, but I can’t do this, look at him, he’s smiling at us!” Flashing a dopey grin, you hear her sigh, obviously disappointed in the fact that you’re blindly giving into his games. Then, he’s in front of you two, extending his hand out as a formal introduction.
“Hi, I’m Franco—”
“We know,” Lissie cuts him off, a slight edge in her voice. He blinks, completely frazzled by her tone. Shrugging, she mocks a smile of her own, downright confusing the fuck out of him. “Welcome, mate.”
“Thanks?” he mumbles, shaking her hand deliberately slowly as her eyes remain as sharp as knives. He’s intrigued by now, as to why she’s treating him this way. Then, to his right, there you are. Fragile. Shy. Round eyed. Not a single thought behind them. Feeling his personality come right back as if nothing, the Williams driver sends a wink. “Hola.”
“H-hola,” you return, copying him, but your accent is mediocre, at best. It’d be lame if you weren’t so beautiful. You cough, clearing your throat as you lend your hand into his, and immediately, you feel a pull. Not physically, no, but rather—energetically. It’s a scary thing, but something tells you not to question it and that this is all a part of his charisma. “I’m—”
“Not interested.” At once, both you and Franco turn to face Lissie who stands with her hands on her hips, tapping her foot strictly. “She’s not interested.”
“I wasn’t—” he tries to speak, but she’s fast to shut him down.
“Yes. You were.” Rolling her eyes, she tugs you back from your wrist, making you let out a yelp by the sudden clutch. “Look, how about you mind your business and we’ll mind ours, yeah?”
“Lissie…” you warn with a slight crack, ignoring the rush of blood. Biting down on your lip nervously, your eyes flicker back and forth, feeling the cool weather suddenly suffocate you with shame. “He hasn’t done anything.”
“He was about to, though.” A scoff. “I’ve heard all about you and your games—Franco.”
She says his name in a way that makes you aware that she isn’t fond of the idea of him in any shape or form. And he seems to pick up on that too, eyebrows raising with amusement. “Have you now?” Cocking his head to the side, a smile starts to spread. “And what exactly have you heard about me?”
“That you're nothing but a deceiving flirt,” she responds without missing a beat—zero pressure, zero problem, zero intimidation. Flustered, you fiercely start to shake your head, but it's too late, Lissie is on a roll. “I know your intentions aren't genuine, so how about we save ourselves the trouble and keep this professional. It's not like you'll be seeing much of us, anyways.”
“Yeah?” he questions, accent deep and raw, making you squirm, and of course he picks up on that too.
The brunette girl sighs, feigning indifference, or maybe it was real, who knows. “As you may have noticed, Will interviewed you, right?” Still, he says nothing, standing there with a blank expression. She lets out a sour chuckle, one that even catches you by surprise. “It's going to stay that way.”
“I still need an interviewer for my Spanish debriefs, who's to say it's not going to be you?” he challenges, focusing on her now and enjoying the twist in her face.
“I don't speak Spanish, so no—it won't be me, thank God.”
“You don't?” he asks, clearly shocked.. “I thought you were Latina—”
“Oh, so you're quick to jump to conclusions, too?” Rolling her jaw, you can tell your best friend is close to the breaking point. And while you've seen it before, you haven't seen it much, but you were pretty certain it wasn't going to make her look any better. Plus, people were starting to stare, and that alone was making your skin itch and shift uncomfortably, wishing to vanish into thin air. “You really are a know-it-all.”
Franco ignores the dig. He ignores the murmurs.
But he doesn't ignore you.
“What about you?”
“Me?” you squeak, looking around as if there might have been someone else. Like a blushing mess, you open your dry lips, feeling a catch in your throat. “I, uh…I, um.” You don't. Oh, definitely not. But the way he's looking at you makes your head spin, and the need to answer correctly makes you believe this just might be it. What exactly? That you don't know yet, but it.
A firm nod. I do.
“You do?” Lissie and Franco say in chorus, and while she's bewildered, he's over the moon.
Another nod, this time more secure. “I've been practicing.”
“Since when?” the Brit interrogates, not choosing to believe what you're saying.
You gulp, lips wobbling into a slippery smile. “Ever since the rumors started.” Her face darkens, clenching her jaw. “Since I heard he might be entering the grid—I wanted to be r-r-ready, just in case…”
Lissie snarls. “So you do believe in rumors.”
A wince. “Lissie, I—”
“Would you be interested in conducting my Spanish interviews?” Franco asks, vibrant eyes dedicated to you as your heartbeat spikes. He smiles charmingly, eyes squinting in a way that makes your body feel the need to jolt. “I like you.” A beat. “You're sweet.”
He thinks I'm sweet, you cheer to yourself, keeping a straight face on the outside. Besides you, Lissie pokes your hip, and you know what that means—decline his proposition. There's got to be a million different reasons as to why this probably isn't a good idea, you're sure she has them ready to lay out to you with a whining noise like I told you so. But in a moment like this—where you can't even seem to comprehend—you choose to ignore them.
Snapping your berry lips into a thin line, you just slightly—ever so slightly—nod, making Lissie disinflate and Franco grin brightly.
And dear God—were there signs.
-
You've been avoiding him for the past few days and the problem is he doesn’t know why.
At first, he thinks you're intimidated by the idea of being caught with his presence—maybe it was too much to handle for you. He liked thinking that to be true. Then, he thought maybe you were backing out. Perhaps Lissie had said something that made you come to a realization, and sure, he can easily find someone else, but it needed to be you.
Why?
Well, because he liked knowing he could get a pretty girl to choose him over her best friend.
It was all about power for him. Power, fun, and games.
So, when he crosses with you in the hotel he didn’t think journalists like you could ever afford, he takes a chance to cage you in and get some answers. And that just so happens to be in an elevator.
Crap, you think to yourself as he enters, ever the giddy guy he is. He presses a button—fifty. And he doesn’t say anything at first, but when you fail to acknowledge him with a greeting, he looks over with those brown eyes that make you wish you were blind. “I didn't know you were staying here,” he chokes out, gently inhaling your soft perfume. It makes his eyes flutter, just for a minute.
Forcing a light hearted laugh, you shake your head. “I'm not. I'm just…visiting a friend, that's all.”
And just like that, his stomach drops. Were you here for some rendezvous? Was it with someone he knew? And yes—yes—it must be because the entire grid was staying on the fiftieth floor.
“Cool,” he murmured, gritting his teeth, passing time by counting every floor. “Cool, cool, cool—can I ask who?”
Taken aback, you giggle awkwardly, resting against the metal wall. Brown orbs are aimlessly looking for an answer as you struggle to give it up. You lick your lips, shrugging as if no big deal. “Carlos.”
“What?” he screeches, eyes practically flying out of their sockets, making you flinch. Running a hand quickly over his rosy face, Franco tries his best to calm down. “I'm sorry, but…” he trails off, cringing. “Isn't he old enough to be your dad?”
“Huh?” you mutter with genuine confusion. Then, it dawns on you what he was thinking. The tip of your ears burn bright red as you laugh nervously, waving a finger strictly. “I-It's not like that.” He nods robotically, attention still unsteady and not at all convinced. “He's just giving me private lessons.”
Franco's jaw drops, not making sense of what you're saying. Because while he doesn't know you to the full extent quite yet, he hadn't had that impression over you. Here you seemed kind and innocent, not…
Again, you realize your choice of words aren't so great, so you play it off with a poor grin. “How's your first week been?”
You're obviously changing the conversation, and he's sort of grateful for that, but he still remains curious about the situation with you and the Spaniard. “Just fine.” Silence. “What kind of lessons?”
He’s overstepping—he's well aware. And he should stop asking questions—he's well aware. And he's trying, he really is, but he just—can't.
Embarrassed, you chew on your bottom lip with a subtle smile, making his jaw tick and his fists clench. Why is he acting this way? Why is he bothered so much? And why does he want to curse out Carlos fucking Sainz?
“Spanish lessons.”
It's said just high enough to be a whisper, and just low enough to let him know that you're somewhat embarrassed by your confession. And still, he lets out a breath, feeling his shoulders relax and the tenseness roll away. A laugh. “Wait—I thought you already spoke Spanish.”
Plump lips open feverishly before you swipe your pink tongue along it. His stomach flips cruelly at the sight that leaves him wondering about your mouth in other places. Places not even the dirtiest would think of. Because seeing as you stand there, like an angel, he pictures what it’s feel like to fuck someone like you.
“I don't…” Your brows knit together with apology. “I'm sorry about lying to you, I really am—”
“I can teach you.”
It's an offer that catches you off guard. Off guard because why would he take time from his busy schedule—for you? But for him, it was a simple one, one that made sense.
One that meant you wouldn't need Carlos—because honestly—fuck that.
Blinking feverishly, you shake your head, as stiff as an animatronic. Embarrassment practically flows out of you as you look away, orbs flying up to where the number fifty flashes, indicating the floor you’ve finally reached. Pressing down on the open door button, Franco smiles at you without missing a beat, making you think this was serious.
He was being completely serious.
“There's n-no need,” you fight back numbly, because the way he's begging with those brown eyes makes you think you might accept just about anything he'd say to you in this weak moment of yours. “I shouldn't have lied, and you deserve someone who actually spe—” You trail off, heat rising to your cheekbones. “I'll find you someone, don't worry.”
“There's no need,” he mimics, but with more confidence in his tone than yours. “I’ll teach you.”
“But—”
The Argentenian rolls his eyes light heartedly, going in for your hand and finally leading you out the tight spaced box, and thank goodness for that, because you're quite sure you would have fainted if you stayed in there for a second longer. He wiggles his brows, making you crack a soft smile. “I’ve taught a bunch of other girls. Teaching you shouldn't be too hard if I've done it a million times before.”
Wincing, you take a small step back, and he doesn't know what for. He doesn't know why you've reacted this way, he doesn't know why you haven't accepted yet, and he doesn't know why he feels the tiniest bit satisfied by it all.
“I think I’ll stick with Carlos for now,” you whisper, still not looking at him. Bewildered, he frowns, not able to hide his shock. “Thanks for the offer, though.”
That said, you leave him there, standing alone, eyes roaming your body and left wondering what you didn’t fucking say yes.
-
So, he isn’t doing Spanish interviews until later notice.
He sticks to English, he struggles in English, and he lives and breathes English. It's exhausting, it's starting to bore him and you still haven't spoken to him since that day.
He can tell Lissie is over the moon by your sudden detachment from the Williams drivers and that doesn't do him any better. He should have you by now, and the British girl should be warning you, too, but it seems like nothing is happening the way he's used to.
From the other side of the paddock, where you sip on your green juice, trying not to gag from how nasty it was, your friend side eyes you suspiciously before separating her own lips from her straw. “So, uh…”
Blinking, you look up.. “Uh what?”
And she's left it alone for long enough now and the curiosity has finally reached its brim. “What happened between you and what's his name?”
Chuckling, you cross your legs, resting your arms against the table. “You know his name, Lis, there's no need to be dismissive.”
“If I admit that I do know, will you finally tell me what happened?” You think about it, pouting subtly. And you're messing with her—teasing—you both know it. The brunette groans, gently kicking your leg under the table, making you squeak. “Oh, come on, don't be like that.”
“Be like what?” you ask, playing coy for a second longer before sighing. “He didn't do anything wrong, actually. He just…spoke like a boy.”
Thick brows draw in together with confusion. “A boy?”
You nod. “Yeah—egotistical, in a sense.”
Right away, the British girl claps, pointing at you boldly. “I told you so, didn't I?” she cheers, clearly enjoying the fact that she was right and thriving that you've finally realized it.
Twisting your mouth from side to side, you shrug lamely. “You know I hate it when you say that.” A beat. “But yeah, you did.” A certain silence lingers for a split second before you rub your temples harshly. “I just…just—why did he have to be this way?”
She knows what you mean by that—immature. Why did Franco Colapinto have to be immature?
Out of the many years Lissie has known you, from worst to best, she's come to figure out that you hate men like that, but despise boys even worse. They just weren't at your standard, and for a million different reasons. For starters, they think they're Gods. Second of all, they think they could get away with their shitty behavior. And third of all, they probably are some version of God and they probably could get away with just about anything.
And that's why you hate them—because they're easy to fall for, guys like him.
“Who knows,” Lissie responds with a smug expression, one you wish to wipe off. “But think of it as a sign—you dodged a bullet with that one.”
But no you didnt—no, you fucking didn’t.
-
You wish you had walked a little faster, you wish you had acted a bit soon, and you wish the word no was a part of your vocabulary.
At a nearby cafe, close to the paddock, you went out for coffee. You specifically chose this one because quite frankly, there were less people. It made things easier for you, but apparently for Franco, too.
Ignoring him, you push past, acting as if you had no idea he was standing there, but as soon as he calls your name out in that accent that rolls off his tongue like honey, you freeze, turning to face the truth. The curly haired boy waves. “What are you doing here?”
“Just…grabbing coffee.”
He nods. In hand, he has his own cup, raising it up like a toast before taking a sip. “Ignoring me or something?” Shame fills you up as he's come to notice what you had been totally doing. Waving you off as if nothing, the Williams driver scrunches his nose for a second. “Ah, it's alright, don't worry about it. Can’t say I'm surprised.”
You freeze, narrowing your neat brows with blame.“Wha-what do you mean by that?”
“See ya,” he hums, already heading towards the exit all high and mighty.
In a state of disorientation, you stare at his back before snapping out of the trace he had you in and chasing after like a madwoman. “What do you mean by that?” you yell, panting with the struggle to keep up. Stopping dead in his tracks, Franco grins to himself before turning around with a phony frown like a wallscreen.
“You're being told what to do, what to think,” he speaks up given the distance you have from one another, so you take a couple steps forward before leaving it as it is.
“That's not true,” you mumble weakly.
The Argentinian scoffs, causing you to pinch yourself to make sure this wasn't some nightmare he's snuck into. But no. It's not. “Tell me one thing—and I want you to be completely honest with me.” Doll Like, you blink, nodding to his instructions. He quirks a sharp brow. “Has Lissie talked bad about me to you?”
No fucking doubt, you want to snicker, but something in his mannerism shows that he knows she has, and that he’s just waiting for you to say it. “What does that have to do with anything?”
But he's not letting go, not yet, at least. Closing the final gap between you two, you find yourself, nose to nose basically, with someone as intimidating as Franco Colapinto, which is a weird sight, because usually he's out having fun, and not doing…this. He opens his mouth and it's stupid how you find yourself doing the same before coming to the realization and clamping your lips shut. The corner of his lips quirk with amusement.
Disconnecting from you again, he inches away, leaving you there feeling like a hopeless romantic with her heart caught in her throat. You want to rub your eyes, but you have a feeling that if you do, he might laugh from how much this has already affected you.
Instead, he speaks up first. “You said you’d be honest. Go on now—be honest.”
Pursing your lips, you wince pathetically. “She has.”
You've said the right thing in his eyes, you've given him the answer he was looking for because this makes his point much more valid. And you're starting to realize, yeah. Maybe it is.
“There you go.” Another sip. “She's playing you like a puppet.”
She is Lissie, and Lissie is your best friend. Lissie can't be manipulating you—can she?
“You're right,” you find yourself accepting in a quiet whisper like you can barely even believe it. As if you're having some sort of epiphany. Bringing a delicate hand up to your lips, you shake your head, a trace of sadness lost in your eyes, one he caused for bringing you down to reality. If you're seeing this now, how long has this been going on for? “I don’t have my own opinions because…of her.”
He notices then that he could potentially be ruining a perfectly good friendship, but he also notices that he doesn't seem to care. He never liked Lissie and Lissie never liked him and now…
Now there was a winner amongst them.
Still with a pinched and sour expression, you nod repeatedly. “I’m in—I want to work for you.”
For me, he finds himself replaying your words as a similar glow pours across his features. One that you don't pick up on because you think this was your doing, not his. But none of this actually was, because as it came, you’re as clueless as a toddler.
He plays the role of modesty first, and he plays it well. Forcing a small frown, Franco clicks his tongue softly. “You don’t have to. I get it. Lissie has made you think that—”
“Fuck what Lissie said,” you cut him off, suddenly enraged by what your so-called friend had been doing all along. “I’m doing it because I want to.”
No, you’re doing it because I made you think so, he thinks to himself and bites his cheeks in order to hide his creeping smile. That was the thing—he always knew he had you, before you even knew it yourself.
That day at the paddock, when he first laid eyes on you, your reaction told him. The way you stiffened, the way your cheeks became blotchy. It was a dead giveaway, your infatuation, and that’s something he became interested in. But then, as unexpected as the unexpected can get, you had someone to look out for you.
And that someone was sweet ‘ol Elisabella.
She was right, right off the bat. He was a flirt. He was a no-good. But he hid it well and she knew that—but you didn’t.
Then, for some reason, he lost the plot and you were no longer googly eyed for him. It fucking ticked him off. He kept watchful eyes on you for the time being, watched you come and go as if he was no one to you.
But he knew that wasn’t true. That you probably didn’t believe that lie yourself.
He saw the way Lissie held onto your arm like a protective older sister. As if you were someone pretty little lamb who knew no better than to stay away from someone like him. The way she smiles as if saying—“I won”—is what made his blood boil because that wasn’t the way things were supposed to go.
He was supposed to have you by now.
And sure, there was a bump on the road, and for a minute he thought it might have not worked out—but look at you now.
“I’m tired of being controlled,” you admit as if it all finally caught up to you. “Lissie told me to stay away from you and that’s exactly what I did because that’s what she does best—control me.” Fuming, you throw away one of the coffee cups, one he notices has the Brit’s name written on it in neat cursive. “Well, not anymore, I’m done.”
And I’m all in.
-
“What did you say to her?”
Once the Argentenian glances up from his phone, he finds himself with an angry looking Lissie who seems just about ready to bite his head off. He kind of wishes she would just cause.
“To who?”
The Brit girl's eye twitches. “You know who I’m talking about.” Letting out a raw groan, she pushes her hair back, suddenly irritated with anything in her way. “Why would you tell her a whole bunch of lies about me?”
“I don’t know, why would you?” he challenges without missing a beat.
This practically gets a snarl out of the journalist, rolling her jaw before speaking. “What are you watching?”
“Nothing,” he answered, but too fast and too defensively.
A chuckle. “No, no, I want to know—what the fuck are you watching, Franco?”
“I already told you, nothi—”
In one swift movement, one that even is too fast for someone like him, she snatches the phone from his grasp before he even has a chance to turn it off. And there, in all its glory, is a naked woman moaning erotically as she self pleasures herself. Lissie scoffs, tossing it back, rolling her eyes.
“You see! You’re too lustful. All you think about it sex, sex, sex.” A beat. “What’s your problem, huh?”
“I don’t have a problem,” he shoots back, digging his phone back into his pocket, grateful that no one is around to witness any of this. “And no. I’m not. I’m just looking out for my friend.”
“Your friend?” Lissie repeats dryly. “Oh, darling, don’t get things mixed up—she is not a friend of yours.”
“Yeah?” he questions smugly, finally standing up and towering above. “And who did she just drop?” And that seems to do it, because in a single second, her eyes slowly begin to water. He grins, eyes crinkling with humor. “Because it sure as hell wasn’t me.”
No one says anything for a minute, no one says anything for two, but as soon as a droplet slides down her rosy cheeks, she’s quick to wipe it away, sniffling like some poor bunny. “You’re a fucking dick and she’s going to realize that sooner or later, you’ll see—”
“She’s going to realize when I want her to realize,” he says, filled with content. “Besides, you shouldn't worry too much.” Leaning down, he grabs her arms, holding her in place and whispers in her ear as she stands there numbly.
I promise I’ll make her feel so good, she won’t even remember calling you her friend.
-
Your lessons start right away.
There’s no room for mistakes, and yet, you find yourselves making them. You can tell that he’s losing his patience at times, but he always tries his best to hide it. It sort of works, it sort of doesn't, but nevertheless, you feel stupid.
“Say it back to me again,” Franco commands, rubbing his jaw with a slight clench. He’s stressed out, you’ve made him stressed out, and now you want to leave his room.
Licking your lips, you nod gently. You process the sentences one more time before opening your mouth hesitantly. “Mi…”
“Color,” he says, helping you out.
Heat rushes towards your cheeks. “Right—mi color. Mi color favorito es…es…” What was it again? Panicking, you look up at him, and he’s just staring so gingerly, so supportive, and so sweet, and you can’t let him down. “Mi color favorito es el rosa.”
His eyes light up, instantly grinning. “¡Bravo! Yes! You got it!”
“Really?” you ask in disbelief, laughing loudly. “Did I?”
“¡Si, si!” he chants excitedly, and honestly, kind of relieved that you finally got it down after so long. “That was good, you did good, you did so good.”
Something about his praise makes your stomach burn and your thighs press against one another. It’s both humbling and new, all at once. Flustered, you purse your lips, looking away as you toss your hair over your shoulder, searching for any reason to just not make eye contact with him anymore. Because what if he can read your mind?
You shouldn’t be doing that.
He doesn’t typically see you in dresses—especially dresses like this one you’re wearing right now. It’s short—it is hot where you’re staying, after all. Lacey—teasing him into barely getting the chance to see your skin. Dark—a royal blue that bleeds a bit harsher than normal. He thinks you did this on purpose—you did this for him.
Coughing, he watches as you flinch gingerly at the sound, attention back on him like before. He likes that. Your eyes on him, he means. “Won’t lie, it took you a bit longer than expected.” You blush, wobbly lips forming a foolish smile that makes your features soften like a cloud. He grins back. “But you got it, and that’s all that matters.”
“Sure,” you quip. “And for what it’s worth, I really am sorry for wasting your time!”
You were. You were wasting his time. He could have easily been out with friends, meeting new people he probably wouldn’t even remember meeting. But he had to do this. Not for you, but for himself. He couldn’t stand the idea of Carlos teaching you such an intimate language, he couldn't stand the possibility of you rekindling with Lissie and marching off, leaving him to be the loser amongst them both.
Plus, the way you act around him makes him think it’s only a matter of time.
He’s going to get his way with you, he’s sure of it.
“Don’t say that, cariño,” he says, shaking his head. “I want to be here with you.”
Your heart beats fast against your ribcage and a tingle runs along your legs. “I think that’s enough for today, don’t you think? You should rest before your race tomorrow.”
Right. Makes sense. Nodding, the Argentinian stands up, watching you do the same as you fix your dress up a bit and smile gracefully. He leads you down the hallway towards the door, making easy conversation, but as soon as he finally reaches for the knob, he pauses.
“Hey—it’s actually really dark out now.”
You blink. “I suppose it is, yeah…”
Franco tilts his head flirtatiously, even you can tell. “A pretty girl like you probably shouldn’t be walking alone at a time like this.”
You blink faster, lashes fluttering. What was he trying to say? I mean, you knew what he was trying to say, but what was going on? And you’ve never been the kind to…to…God, was the room suddenly spinning?
“I can do it,” you whisper meekly. “I’ll be fine.”
She’ll. Be. Fine. She. Said, he thinks to himself sourly. Did you not catch the hint? Did you not want to take up this opportunity that many girls would die to have? Are you stupid or what?
But he doesn’t want to seem like a jerk, even if he sort of is one, so, instead, he grabs his jacket and opens the doors, signaling for you to go first. This gets a smile out of you, not a tight lipped one or a forced one—a real, genuine smile. Huh? So you’re the kind of girl who likes romantics. Maybe that’s what he needs to be.
He can pretend.
Placing his jacket over your shoulder, he finds you chewing down on your lip, suppressing your smile from growing any wider. Thanks, you mumble as you finally reach the lobby, walking past the people in fancy suits who open doors for you. What were they called? Honestly, who even cares because here you were—with Franco—and nothing could ever have been as important as this moment.
“If you don’t mind me asking,” he starts, hands dug into his pockets. “What ended up happening between you and Lissie?”
You grimace. “What didn’t happen between me and Lissie?”
“You’re not listening!” she yells as she chases after you. Marching up to your suitcase, you angrily start to pick up all your belongings and stash them in with no need to fold anything. “He’s just using you!”
“Stop saying that,” you demand, still not looking at her. “And stop feeding me lies, seriously, you’re starting to sound obnoxious.”
She doesn’t mind you degrading her, she doesn’t mind you belittling her, but she does mind the fact that you’re ready to erase her from your life and draw him in as a replacement. It’s not fair. The Brit girl rubs her eyes feverishly, hearing them squish harshly. “I don’t care, I just want you to realize that you’re making a mistake!”
You freeze, insides burning with fury as you collect your reason, but there seems to be none left. Turning slowly to face her, your lips turn into somewhat of a snarl, making her flinch in return. “You know what? Yes. I have made a mistake, a big one.” A beat. “By ever calling you a friend.”
Lissie doesn’t say anything, but you can tell that she’s deeply hurt. Of course she is. You’ve finally done it.
Chosen someone you just met—over her.
Blinking rapidly, the brunette runs a hand through her long hair, letting out a heavy breath. “Franco will never see you the way you want him to. The way you think he does.” She chuckles, making your blood boil at this point. “For God’s sake! You’ve read the thousand of tabloids surrounding him and his habits. Have you ever—ever—read a good one that has nothing to do with his driving skills?”
And that’s when it hits you. “Lissie—are you jealous?” There’s a string of silence that engulfs you two, letting it hang there for a minute too long. And you just have to, you just have to laugh. “Oh my God, you are!”
“I am not.”
“Yes, you are! You have a thing for Franco!” With wide eyes, you clasp a hand over your mouth, muffling the sound that makes her skin burn with irritation at the mere thought of you thinking she would ever have a thing for a guy like him. “How could I not see it?”
“I don’t like him!” she yells, aware that the people next door are probably enjoying these five seconds of drama. “I could never like someone who treats girls like fucking shit, are you kidding me?”
“He’s not like that, you don’t know what you’re talking about,” you continue, picking up from where you left off. “If you actually took the time to get to know him, then maybe things could be different, and perhaps we wouldn’t be here, now would we?”
Lissie groans, eyes screwed tightly. “Fuck you.”
You gasp. “No— fuck you.” You march closer, eyebrows narrowed. “You think you know everything, don’t you?”
“You know what? Yeah. Maybe I do,” she spits, furrowing her brows the exact same way as yours. “And that might explain why I’m conscious about Franco’s nature and you’re not.”
“He’s a great guy!” you exclaim, pushing her back, making her gaze darken.
With the same energy, she reaches and pushes you too. “Fine, then! Get ridiculed, who fucking cares!”
That’s it. She just grabs her bag and walks towards the exit of the room you once shared. But at the very last minute, she turns to face you with soft eyes. Ones that almost—almost—make you break out of this trance he has you in because what if she’s right?
“I really hope you realize what you’ve gotten yourself into.”
You shake your head, ignoring the sting. “She and I just…didn’t see eye to eye, is all.”
Franco stares ahead, feeling the hot breeze push his hair back. The night sky is a mixture of both beautiful and daunting, the vendors are hard at work, and he’s yet to get a solid answer from you. He thought he might know it, but he was sickeningly interested to hear if it was true.
And it was.
“I don’t know how to say this without making her sound unprofessional, but, well, um—she doesn’t quite like you.”
And there it was. He knew that—since day one, he knew that deep down in his bones. He saw the way she glared at him, like a know-it-all, standing guard next to you. It was obvious.
But he can twist this in a thousand different ways if he really wanted to.
“It’s because she’s in love with you, you see that, right?”
Bewildered, you stop dead in your tracks, unbeknownst of the smile that spreads across his lips before he turns to face you with a blank expression. You swallow, but even that suddenly seemed like hard labor. “That’s not …” you whisper weakly, fighting the urge to scrunch your nose with how taken aback you were. “That can’t be…”
He takes a look around, spotting the city lights and the way they surround you like a flashlight. And like that, he can note the slight redness painted across your cheeks, the way your chest rises hard and fast now that you’ve settled with a lie he completely ripped out from the farthest depths of hell. He knew what he was doing, he knew that he was being dishonest for no particular reason—but he just couldn’t have you running back to her to hear all the things he was keeping you from.
A minute ticks by. “I’d say it’s obvious.” He can see you begin to spiral out of control, chewing hard on your thumb now, like an anxious teen. And he sort of feels bad—sort of. “I always thought she looked at you a bit…differently.” He contains a snicker, settling with a small wince. “Compared to everybody else, at least. Come on. Think about it.”
You do. Suddenly every interaction you two ever had is making you second guess. All those times she insisted on sharing a room in order to ‘save money’. The way she’d lace her arm through yours, leaning her head against your shoulder. How she pushed and pushed the idea of Franco being wrong for you. It all made so much sense now that he’s brought it up.
Shaking your head rigidly, you squeeze your eyes shut, choosing not believing any of it, but then again, you know it is—true.
“You’re right.”
His lips flicker upward in the slightest of flickers before falling down.
You rub your eyes. “Wow. I mean…wow.” A beat. “That explains so much.”
“There’s nothing wrong with being—”
Horrified, you nod, fast and hard. “Oh, yeah! Of course there’s nothing wrong with being…” You trail off, looking down to the floor, fixing his jacket that drapes over your shoulder once you feel it slipping. “I just feel so blinded, so…brainwashed, in a way.”
Franco nods gently. “I’m glad you know that. She was trying to keep you to herself.” You share a flinch. “But you don’t want that, no?”
“Want what?” you ask curiously.
He shares a smile, shrugging innocently. “To belong to anyone?”
You blink, not knowing why you feel an odd heat circle between your legs. Maybe it’s the way his voice has gone dark and raw by now. As if he’s just getting over some cold that’s been attacking his throat for the past few weeks. Maybe it’s the way he’s looking at you, as if he’s offering something no one else could ever offer. But he hasn’t said anything, he hasn’t really said anything at all.
“I think I wouldn’t mind,” you find yourself confessing. “If it’s the right person with the right intention, then no. I wouldn’t mind belonging to someone.”
Franco knew you were naive, Franco knew you were the kind to daydream.
He just didn’t think you’d ever be this foolish.
-
The next time you see Lissie and find her already staring, you’re quick to walk away.
You don’t think you could ever fully explain what you’re feeling now that you know what you know, but there’s something that makes you feel a bit uncomfortable. I mean, the entire time you thought you two were friends—best friends, at that—and now you find out she’s always had a thing for you? It’s just a very hard pill to swallow.
“Welcome to your second official lesson,” Franco congratulates, making you giggle. “¿Lista?”
Dumbfounded, you stare, lips parted. “Pista? Like the car?”
She’ll be worth it, he thinks to himself, fighting the urge to roll his eyes. Once you fuck her, this will all have been worth it.
“Let’s just get started,” he says, smiling tightly, but you don’t seem to notice, already nodding excitedly. It isn’t until halfway through—after he’s bitten his tongue about a thousand times—that you finally reach your breaking point.
“I’m sorry! I can’t!” you wail, covering your face with embarrassment for struggling continuously. “I thought this was supposed to be easy?”
“It is,” he responds, grinding his teeth, then smiling gingerly when you look up at him with surprise. “It is not for everyone,” he finishes off, shrugging lamely. “Sorry. English isn’t my first language.”
“Oh. Okay,” you mutter softly. Sitting up straight, you tilt your head with sudden interest. “Hold on a minute—how did you learn English?”
“What do you mean?” he asks, popping a berry into his mouth.
“Yeah,” you insist, propping both legs against the chair you're sitting on, skirt falling just a tiny bit. He stops chewing, brown eyes glued to the exposed area. “I figure you had your challenges at first.”
“Sure,” he agrees, but he feels like he’s floating.
You haven’t noticed yet, attention drawn to the open window, glow of the sun making you swoon for a second. “What had to happen in order for you to pick it up?”
He stares one more time before looking back at your pretty face, watching as you finally look back at him too. He shakes his head, curls swaying in a way that makes you smile. “I think all the prizes helped,” he admits. “Those were cool.”
“Prizes?”
Franco nods. “An award? A reward? A—”
“I get what you mean,” you cut him off. “I just…what kind of prizes?”
“Well,” he starts, chewing the inside of his cheek before letting go. “For starters, I was lucky enough to have a private tutor.” Attentively, you listen, round eyes devoted to him and this crumb surrounding his upbringing. “Her name was Adelina.”
“Her?” you echo.
The Argentenian bops his head, aware of your interest now that you’ve mentioned a name that appears to be important to him. Now you’re engrossed to the point of no return and he likes to know that you care—that you’re desperate to know, though you’re trying your best to hide it. “She was much older than me, therefore, wiser.” He smiles at the memory of what once was. “She made learning fun.”
“That’s the cheesiest thing I’ve ever heard.”
He frowns, not expecting you to react this way. “No, it’s not.”
Yawning, you stand up, bending down momentarily to slip your flats back on. “It’s getting late and you still have quali later. You should rest before then.”
He figures you’re right, but he doesn’t like that you get to decide that. You don’t so much as say bye, you don’t promise to find him later in the paddock just like the other times, and he doesn’t like that you get to have the last word.
“Don’t you want to know what the prize was?”
You snort. “A lollipop? A brand new soccer ball?”
“Better.”
Squinting your eyes suspiciously with a bit of humor, you find yourself humming. “What could be better than that?”
“I was a hormonal teen—what could have been better than that?”
You freeze.
And he just…laughs. His eyes crinkle. His nose scrunches. His stomach shakes with the sound of joy. And you just stand there like a deer in headlights.
“I will say, I did learn a lot more than just English from Adelina.”
You don’t even get the proper chance to register any of what he’s saying before he walks up to you, like a wolf teasing its prey. You swallow, taking a step back until your back reaches the door. The brunette tilts his head.
“Would you be interested in me taking the same approach?”
He’s giving you an option—a fucked up one—but still. It’s either yes or no, of course it’s either yes or no. You could either stay or go. He’s letting you decide. And quite easily, you could say you don’t need it, any of it, but like always, the word no doesn’t mean a single thing when it comes to him and his magnetic field.
“Yes.”
-
“Hey.”
Looking up from your laptop, you purse your lips awkwardly. “Hey.”
Lissie takes a look around, finding a seat next to you before clearing her throat. “You look pretty. Pink is so your color.” You freeze and she continues without realizing. “Anyways, I know you were probably expecting Will, but he's a bit busy with the edits right now, so it looks like you're stuck with me.”
You haven't quite processed what needs to be processed, therefore, you can't hide your reluctance. “I really don't want to see you right now.”
This obviously catches the Brit a bit as expected, but damn. She shrugs, frowning. “I get that you and I aren't on the best terms, but there's no reason as to why we can't remain professional, right?”
You shake your head stubbornly. “Have you always been this annoying?”
She flinches. “I-I-I’m not trying to be—”
But you don't bother sticking around to hear the end of her sentences, because before she knows it, you've snapped your laptop shut and gone up and left, leaving her frazzled by your rudeness.
You in an obvious rush—“The American” can tell.
“Are you in too much of a hurry to not say hi?” Logan calls out after you, making you whip your head quickly, eyes wide with shock to have him standing right in front of you in the one place you could have sworn you would have never seen him step foot in again. He grins, waving boyishly.
“Wh-wh-what are you doing here?” you stutter, an unsteady smile starting to spread as you walk up closer to him now that you know this is actually happening.
The blue eyed boy chuckles. “Can’t I come around and visit from time to time?”
You two were never close—never really buddy-buddy—but you know when to be polite and so does he. It's one of the many reasons you two got along quite well during his time in Formula One.
“How are you, Logan?” you ask, beaming practically from the fact that he actually looks…okay. One would have pictured the opposite.
A tsk. “I’m great.” Another click. “Yourself?”
“Great,” you say, swaying a bit. And you don’t know why you feel so nervous talking to him. Maybe it starts with the fact that you’re close to the guy who practically stole his seat. You gulp. “You look younger.”
“I feel younger,” he responds with humor laced in his voice, glancing around. “I seriously think I was born again after leaving…” A snicker. “After I was asked to leave.”
“Stop it,” you warn, brows drawn together with pity. “What they did to you was uncalled for.”
“You think so?” Logan asks as both of you begin to walk with no clear indication as to where. People begin to stare, dazed and confused. It appears they truly believe someone just rose from the dead, and honestly, you’re beginning to think so too. “But you must really like my replacement.”
And there it was.
Cringing, you peek over at him quickly before looking back ahead. A couple mechanics do a double take, whispering things that make your stomach churn. This will definately be tomorrow's news, if not tonights. “Franco’s cool,” you let out, tension in the air. But he doesn’t feel it—only you.
He nods, blond hair shining against the rays of sunshine. “No, no, I agree.” A loopy grin. “To a certain extent.”
You snort, bumping your hip to his as he remains with a plain expression now. And now—now you’re confused, because now you don’t feel any tension—but he does.
Numbly, your eyes burn down to where he grabs your hand, pulling you behind a wall of tires. You can’t even tell who’s motorhome you’re standing in, all you know is that his eyes are similar...
Similar to Lissie’s.
“Don’t—”
“Just listen to me,” he pleads, buzzing with worry that you might push him away. And boy does it look like it. “Franco’s not the guy you think he is.”
“Lissie sent you here, didn’t see?” you accuse, a storm forming in your cloudy eyes, shaking your head with fury.
And it’s the hesitation that gives him away. Logan shrinks back. “She’s just looking out for you…”
“Looking out for me, how?” you hiss, a sour laughter mixed with it, making him flinch, because as far as he’s concerned, you’re quiet, you’re shy, and you’re not like this. “You know what? No. You tell me—how, Logan?—how is he not what he makes himself out to be?”
He sees it in you then, it hits him all at once, that Lissie was right about the situation. You’re no longer yourself, you’re no longer that sweet, innocent girl. You’ve changed—he’s changed you.
The blond takes a steady breath. “Franco is a good guy. The best.”
“Jesus Christ,” you mutter harshly, rolling your eyes and crossing your arms, indicating your irritation towards him and Lissie.
He continues. “But only when he feels like being one.”
“What are you talking about?” you groan, feeling a migraine rolling in like a tide.
Logan shakes his head, dragging a tired hand across his normally calm features. “When I first met him, I had my first girlfriend—Adelina.”
You freeze.
He licks his lips, animated hands jumping from side to side with his storytelling. “He barely spoke English, really sucked at it. And Adelina was kind enough to start teaching him.”
So this so-called Adelina was a real person, but she also wasn’t a tutor his parents had hired.
A million questions run through your head at the thought of Franco lying to you and all Logan does is wince. “While I was out racing, they’d meet up for a couple lessons. She grew up speaking Spanish because of her parents. And…and I thought it was nice.” He chuckles, as if living the moment once again. “Truthfully, it made me fall more and more in love with her—her kindness, that is.”
“But how was I to know, huh?” he asks pathetically. “How was I to know that a sixteen-year-old would ruin my relationship?” Silence, then he nods, letting out a heavy sigh. “She changed overnight, you know? Started trusting him more than me. I don’t know what he said to her, but it…but it worked.”
“And I get it—Adelina wasn’t perfect either. She was older than him, she should have known better, but fuck.” Blue eyes darken dangerously so, making you squirm, thankful to be somewhere you can run if you really needed to, though you doubt it it’d get that far. “He just has a way with words. He’s…a manipulator.”
“You sound ridiculous,” you speak for the first time since going cold.
And you hate that all he does is chuckle. That all he does is smile. Something about it makes your skin crawl because it tells you that it almost seems like he doesn’t care if you believe him or not, as long as he knows that it’s the truth.
Which it was.
“He’s a good friend, sure—but if he wants you?” A beat. “Forget it. He’ll find a way to have you. He won’t care if that requires sheltering you from everybody else. He won’t care if that requires ending friendships. He won’t care, period.”
“You’re just saying this…”
“Listen, I don’t hold grudges. I don’t hate Franco. I don’t mind that he fucked my girlfreind, I don’t mind that he took my seat, I don’t mind any of it at all anymore.” Pause. “But I know that I once did, and I know what it feels like to go through it.”
You blink.
“What I’m trying to say is that I know what Lissie’s feeling right now.”
“Lissie,” you say with resentment. “Was keeping me from living life. From experiencing things—and you want to know why?” You laugh, shaking your head. “Because she’s in love with me. Because she wanted to keep me to herself.”
“Yeah,” he challenges, grinning smugly. “And who told you that?”
It’s a reality check, all of this. It’s not a nice one, either. Taking a wobbly step back, you watch as he hums to himself, already knowing the answer to his question. Already knowing that he was onto you and your lack of better judgement. You felt the heat rush to your cheeks after that.
Pursing your lips, you push your hair back, you stand straighter, and you look him dead in the eye.
“It was nice seeing you, Logan—but do me a favor? Tell Lissie to fuck off.”
-
He notices your change in demeanor the second he finds you sitting by yourself.
By now he’s heard all about Logan being in the paddock, but what he doesn’t know is what he has said to you, which is why he thinks a milkshake might help you let it all out.
“I don’t like strawberry,” you whisper, almost as if your voice is gone. “I prefer vanilla.”
Of course you do.
Without thinking twice about it, he throws the sweet drink away into the nearest trash can, claiming his spot next to you as he fixes his hat. “I should have known,” he jokes, looking for a smile, but nope—nothing. “You look pretty, by the way.”
“Why did you lie to me, Franco?”
Okay. So you definitely know something.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he finds himself responding, ignoring the way your head jerks swiftly.
“Don’t feed me with that bullshit,” you snap, reminding him that he can’t do the same as much as he wanted to. No. He needed you to believe him—not them.
“What did he say to you?” he asks carefully.
And you tell him, you tell him all of it, not leaving out a single piece of information that makes your head spin more with every passing second because how could you have fallen for it? Any of it?
“Adelina was my tutor,” he says adamantly. “Why would he say she was his girlfriend?”
“I don’t know, you tell me.”
The Argentenian clenches his jaw because there is no way he wasn’t going to let you trust them more than him, even if he was actually the one telling lies. “Don’t you find this suspicious?”
You say nothing.
The brunette nods, rolling his jaw as if he’s onto something you might’ve missed. “I mean, you stop talking to Lissie, and now what? She pulls out the big guns? Is she really that desperate to have you back by her side that now she’s gone as far as to make Logan lie to you just to make her look like the good guy?”
Still nothing. He’s losing you, he knows it. He sees it in the way you squint your eyes for a minute before furrowing your brows neatly. So, he does what he knows he does best—play the victim.
“Oye—what’s one thing they both share in common?” When you still fail to say anything, he clicks his fingers, startling you from the sudden sound. “Jealousy.” A beat. “They’re jealous of me.”
This time you do speak. “Why would they be jealous of you, Franco, why?”
“Have you forgotten that they think I’ve stolen something or someone from them?”
“Holy shit,” you whisper, sitting straight as you finally connect the dots. He nearly lets a rude chuckle slip before he swallows it down, frowning instead, along with a sad nod. “You stole me from Lissie. You stole the seat from Logan.”
“Exactly.”
“Oh my God…oh my God. How could I be so blind?”
He wonders the same thing. And genuinely, he begins to worry for your well being, for being so goddamn trusting. But hey—this was all working in his favor, so be it.
Those eyes—the ones that are half as pretty as your body—soften instantly. You’re grateful, you let him know, for being the only one to be honest with you. For taking the time to wake you up, to make you see things that were always right in front of you. They were never really good friends, they were never really good people, and now you know.
And that’s all thanks to Franco.
Somehow, he convinces you to sneak out to the beach with him. He’s had a shitty day in the car, he’s had an even worse meeting with both Alex and James, and according to him, this might help release some stress.
You owe it to me, eh? he teased when you first shook your head, claiming to be too tired. After that, you were quick to run back to your room and grab a thick sweater due to it being past curfew.
The moonlight isn’t beautiful tonight, which is a weird thing to say aloud, so, instead, you keep it to yourself. It’s a full moon, but it’s not white, it’s not yellow—it’s red.
“Scares you?” the Williams driver asks, raising his brows with curiosity. You blush, feeling awfully childish for actually being. Scared, that is. He chuckles, arms propped against the towel he stole from his room, the one that was too small to fit you both, but you managed to make it work. “Do I scare you?” he interrogates and you don’t know why that sends a shiver down your spine.
“Not at all. You’re—you’re.” You aim a ginger smile, one that reminds him close to sugar. “You’re sweet.”
“I was born during a red-moon,” he admits, watching as goosebumps run down your legs, the only area that wasn’t covered because stupidly enough, you thought it wouldn’t be that cold. “It scared my parents shitless.”
“Why?” you ask, interested to know more.
He shrugs. “Some believe it can cause birth defects like a cleft palate. Others think it brings in evil spirits.” He sees the way you squint at his lips, as if looking for a scar of any kind, no matter big or small. He snickers, making you feel ashamed for even searching for one. “I wasn’t born with a cleft palate, in case you’re wondering.”
I wasn’t, you wish to confess, but you know that's not true. Instead, you make a joke—an awful joke. One that doesn’t land for the first few seconds.
“Does this mean evil is within you?” You giggle. “Tell me, Franco Colapinto, were you born to be sinful?”
His jaw goes slack.
Your stomach drops. “I-I-I am so sorry—”
“It’s fine.” It’s not. “Forget about it.”
There’s a pressure in your chest now that you worry you’ve upset him. He doesn’t say anything after that, he doesn’t try to laugh it off, instead, he clears his throat, waiting for you to be washed away by the shore. Why was he wasting his time on you again?
He doesn’t know it. You don’t know it. But the reason your joke got to him is because—you’re right. He was out to get you, he was out to get Lissie, he was out to get Logan—he was out to get anyone who he felt like toying with in one way or another.
But he just doesn’t realize it. His destruction comes naturally, and that? That just might be the scariest thing of all.
“I’m sorry,” you repeat with a mumble, hair dancing against the wind. You feel awful. Maybe it came out harsher than intended, maybe not, but guilt slides down you, nonetheless. “I didn’t mean it.”
“I said it’s fine,” he restates, his features softening as he let out a toothy smile, as if he suddenly thought your joke was funny. It wasn’t, but whatever, fuck you, honestly. “Have you been practicing your Spanish?”
More guilt. “I haven’t…”
He wants to yell. Yeah, he wants to fucking scream because why are you wasting his time? Why is he wasting his?
But no—no. He nearly has you, he nearly has you, he nearly has you.
“No worries,” he reassures, sitting straight this time as he signals around. “We’re at the beach. We’re alone with no distractions.” And this guy—smirks. Devilishly. “Are you ready for your first real prize?”
Heat pools between your legs with eagerness, though you try not to overshow it.
But he notices—he notices everything when it comes to you. And there’s not a single thing you can hide.
“Well,” he teases, shrugging smugly. “That’s if I feel like you deserve it.”
You almost feel like you don’t. You don’t deserve attention of any kind from someone like Franco Colapinto. He’s not only handsome, but he’s also calculated. He’s not only easy going, but he’s also stern. And honestly, you don’t know what side of him you might get.
But you also don’t seem to care, and at this point, you’d take just about any attention.
“Lay down on the towel,” he instructs, a deep rumble mixed with his accent. Swallowing, you do just that, adjusting your skirt so it doesn’t slide up. But that’s not the plan—it never was. A single chuckle can be heard from him before he towers over you, his large hand going down to bunch up the thin fabric, pulling it up your hips. Your eyes grow wide with panic as he coos at you like a baby. “Relax—this is what you wanted, isn’t it?”
Technically, yes. You had agreed a couple weeks back, but dear God, was this it? What were you doing? And he just does the best job at controlling your nerves, at making you let loose, because suddenly, your panties being fully exposed doesn’t feel that daunting anymore.
“There you go,” he whispers as he analyzes your breathing the more it becomes a lot less hard. He grins, eyes crinkling. “Mira que innocente.”
“Innocente,” you copy him, furrowing your brows as the word sounds extremely familiar. Just then, you burn up, giggling awkwardly. “You think I’m innocent?”
“And she knows how to use her brain, too,” he congratulates, making you blink with surprise for a second time due to the tone he says it in. “Well, aren’t you?”
You think of lying to him. At making up some crappy story about a first time you’ve never even had, but think—what if he can see past your lie? Oh, you’re sure you’d never leave the house ever again, no, you’d be too embarrassed to look him in the eye ever again.
So, ignoring his questions, you tilt your head against the towel, feeling the back of your head rub against sand without actually getting dirty. You bite down on your bottom lip once before letting go, watching as his breath hitches at the sight. You like that.
“I got it right, didn't I?” The ocean waves crash rapidly. “Where’s my prize?”
He’d be laughing right now if he weren’t so impressed by you. Here he was thinking you were some doll he had to take care of and look at you—you’re just as ready and desperate as him. He likes that.
Without a second to kill, the Argentinian leans down, clashing his lips against yours as your mouth opens pathetically in return, welcoming him in a way that makes his cock grow hard. He doesn’t just use his lips, he also uses his teeth. He doesn’t just stay silent, he also makes noises. He groans as if this is something he’s been craving for quite a while now, but you can’t judge him too much on that—you feel the same way.
You’re left panting the moment he pulls away, staring at you with dark eyes, irises blown out as his chest heaves in a struggle to catch his own breath. Looking up at him, your lips are plumper than ever before. Your nose is rosy and your cheekbones have a certain glow to them.
And would you look at that?
You’re in love.
You never thought a guy like him would notice you past a hundred other girls. In your mind, you never stood a chance, and now this? No one kisses like that and doesn’t fall in love. And you see it—you see it in his eyes. The way they glimmer and glisten as if saying—yes, yes I feel it too.
You smile, a sweet giggle sliding up your throat as your eyes begin to shut with tenderness.
So fucking stupid, he thinks to himself as he smiles back, so fucking easy.
Is this really all it took? If he had known, he would’ve kissed you ages ago and gotten his way and left, but alas, everything happens for a reason, right?
“Say something else,” he encourages.
You purse your berry lip, thinking long and hard because the thought of letting him down seems like too much now. That, and you were curious with what else he’d do to you. “Okay, um, so…soy periodista,” you mutter, tongue jittery. “Y trabajo contigo—Franco Colapinto.”
“Good enough,” he lets out, already sliding down as he comes to view with your white lace. You squirm, fixing yourself so you can keep an eye on him. It takes him a while, he doesn’t know why, for him to to loop his fingers around the thin string and pull down. “You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to taste you.”
“Wha—”
Just then, he mouth is pressed down against your core, licking up any wetness that was already there, causing more to slither down your legs as you squeal, twisting so much that he physically has to hold you down. You feel his nose brush against places that make you see white, you feel his tongue dive in until it’s practically inside of you, looking for any sign that you might like it. And of course you do—of course you do—he knows what girls like you are into.
“Sabes a dulce,” he murmurs against your thighs, already reaching up to throw them over his shoulders. The way his muscles twitch underneath your calves makes you moan louder, pulling the rest of your dress up and biting down on it to lessen the loud sounds you’re making. Franco chuckles, sending vibrations up your sweaty body. “Don’t do that…no one’s around.”
He’s right. Not a single soul is here, but you can’t quite figure out why your pornographic noise makes you feel wrong. Perhaps it has to do with the fact that you’ve never done anything like this before, and not your first time on the open beach—yeah. Maybe.
Adding a finger in as a test, you let out a yelp, not used to having anyone do that. You lurch up, locking eyes with him before he grins, slipping in another, admiring as you go limp. He’s seen this view a million different times. With blonds, with brunettes, with gingers, with all kinds of girls, but nothing excites him more than you.
And it’s not because he’s in love—God, no—but rather because all his scheming was worthwhile. All his lies, all his irritation…was worth having you like this. Usually, girls throw themselves at him, but you were, truly, truly, truly the hardest to get at, and it wasn’t even your fault.
It was Lissie’s.
He hopes you two make up. After all is said and done, he really does pray now that a rekindling can happen amongst you two. The Brit will probably still hate him, probably write a ton of articles in order to make him look back, but who would ever believe her? Everyone sees him as a bubbly personality. The kind of guy to get shy sometimes. The one who blushes even with the smallest compliments.
Of course no one would believe her.
And you?
You’d probably regret it all.
And he doesn’t even care.
But that’s all a persona—one that works wonders. I mean, shit…it worked on you.
“Oh…” you whimper, as you feel your stomach tighten, seeing all the stars despite having your eyes closed. “Fuck, fuck, Franco, I’m gonna—”
Grunting wildly, he open mouth kisses your pussy all over, collecting the warm liquid that finally spills out of you, growling beneath his breath because he just can’t get enough, because this—
This is what a virgin tastes like.
“God,” he moans as he pulls away, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand as you try to recollect the rest of your sanity that seems to have slipped away ever since he entered your life. “You taste sweeter than Adelina ever did.”
You flinch—hard.
You think that if you were to ask if you had a slap marked across your cheek, the answer would be yes. He’s too busy telling you how great you were, he’s too busy comforting you, rubbing small circles against your hips as he grins brightly, a small dimple forming in the corner of his lips. And then, there’s you—dumbfounded as ever.
“I used to do this with her all the time,” he continues, drawing shapes on your arms, chuckling to himself, clearly diving back to the past. And realistically, that’s fine. He’s allowed to do that. But in front of you? Your lack of words is what ultimately makes him frown with concern. “What’s wrong?”
“Can you not…” You trail off, feeling a sting burn your eyes, forcing them to flutter dramatically.
Are you serious? he wants to ask dryly. Were you seriously getting butthurt over something so long ago? For fucks sake, you two weren’t even together.
Licking his lips, he nods fiercely, faking an apologetic look, but inside, he’s burning with annoyance. “I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable.” Wincing, you gently push him off, fixing yourself and throwing on your puffer jacket. “I’m sorry—”
“I just want to go to bed,” you say weakly, looking down at the sand, spotting a tiny crab crawling away in a hurry. Almost as much hurry as you. You sniffle, scoffing at the fact that you’re crying. How would he ever take you seriously if all you do is act like a child? Wiping away a small droplet, you force a smile that doesn’t quite meet your eyes. “I hope you feel better.”
Right. He was supposedly stressed out after the day he had. Nodding robotically, and a bit lost, he jumps up, grabbing the towel and shaking it off before following after you.
There’s really no room to talk. Or maybe there is but neither of you take it.
Not until you reach your slightly cheaper hotel. Well. A lot cheaper. “Goodnight, Franco,” you say awkwardly, swaying from side to side as he remains as blank as a naked canvas.
“Lo siento,” he says, suddenly agitated. “It was never my intention to hurt your feelings.” And the thing is—he’s telling the truth. He wasn’t looking to do any of that, but the moment he did, it didn’t feel like a big deal either. Girls were just always overly dramatic. But they’re also sickeningly beautiful, so he’d make sure to fix this mess. “Forgive me?”
This is another test of his. To see if you either have some dignity or not.
Newsflash—you don’t.
How you manage to end up in his bed, you don’t know, because last thing you remember, you were at the entrance of your hotel, not his.
Because that’s not what’s important right now.
What’s important is the way he’s talking you through it, saying it isn’t going to hurt, which turns out to be an outrageous lie because honest to God, you feel as if your entire body has been set on fire. A fire he fuels with his praises, calling you things like preciosa and linda. He makes it difficult to speak, so you stick to your whimpers and mewls. You stick with letting him fuck you until you feel ready to pass out.
Back arched, you gasp as the tip of his cock reaches a place even you haven’t been able to reach, no matter how many times you’ve touched yourself. It makes your mind go haywire and his jaw go slack as he lets out a whine that catches both of you off guard.
“You.” Thrust. “Feel.” Thrust. “Perfect.” Thrust.
He’s talking about your body. He’s talking about your tiny cunt that takes him like no other. He’s talking about the fact that later on, he will able to brag on and on about the virgin he fucked in Miami to all of his cocky friends with dicks smaller than the size of their brains.
He’s not talking about you.
He’s not talking about the fact that you’re clinging onto him as if he’s your only savior in this life and the next. He’s not talking about the way you say his name, as if he’s the most special person to you. He’s not talking about the fact that you’re in love with him, and he’s not.
Because that’s not what’s important right now.
“Shit—” He tosses his head back, struggling to breathe as he pounds into you harder, trying to erase the view of you, mouth hung open, sweaty body under his. Because if he thinks about it for too long, he might just come right there and then. “Mierda, mierda, mierda—me tienes jodidamente adicto.”
You don’t know what he’s saying, you’re not that advanced to understand, but something about it makes you grin, glancing up at him as he finally looks down at you, watching you slide higher and higher up the bed from how fast he’s sinking into you.
“F–F-Franco Colapinto,” you stutter, giving it your all to not let your eyes fall shut with how good you feel.
“Yeah, baby?” he encourages, large hands going in to cradle your face against them, making you feel more than sure about what you’re about to say.
Your smile expands. “Te amo.”
Fuck, he grunts one last time, very animal like, and cums into you as you do the same, moaning at the sensitivity and new emotion.
You just never expected—never, ever, ever expected—for him to react this way.
It all happens so fast, him changing. You barely have a chance to register that he no longer has that afterglow, that he no longer wears that smile that millions of camera’s and fan’s love to see. All of it is gone—in the span of a second.
“You don’t know what you're saying.”
You blink, suddenly feeling dirty of being left bare on the bed. Quickly, you grab a nearby blacket and toss it over your body, standing and carefully walking up to him, wearing a wobbly smile, as if you’re still debating whether to fully show it or not.
“Sorry?” you question, bothered by the fact that he's invalidating your feelings. You frown, neat brows knit together. “I’m telling you I love you because I know what I’m saying.”
Franco rolls his eyes, a thing you’ve never seen before, and it’s not something you like, either. It makes him look distant, and cold, and almost…irritated by your existence. By the fact that you’re still in his room, the room he practically begged you to come back to with him.
And deep in his soul, he finally felt it—a snap in him.
Getting rid of the distance between you two, his eyes soften, just like honey. They’ve gone delicate and kind and that’s the Franco you know and love.
But that's just for show—that’s just what he wants you to see.
And now—now he’s done.
You think he’s going to kiss you, like in the movie’s. You think he’s going to confess his undying love for you, too. You think he’s about to prove everyone wrong, those being Logan and Lissie. But that’s not the case, it was never going to be.
“You should’ve listened to them,” he whispered into your ear, making your stomach drop, a strong pain going straight to your heart. A minute ticks by. “You’re a sweet girl,” he says, taking a step back. “I still think so—can’t that be enough for you to live with?”
Your lips open and close lamely. “I-I’m confused…”
“You girls always expect too much from men,” he says, sighing and saying ‘girls’ as if it’s a thing that costs him to respect. Seeing it now, you might think that’s true. “What do you want me to say? That I’m in love with you?”
Silence.
The brunette scoffs, rolling his tongue as he raises a dark brow. “See. This is exactly what I mean. It’s not your fault, though. You were born naive, you can’t help it. It’s adorable.”
This can’t be real. This can’t be real. This can’t be real.
“The rumors,” you whispher beneath your breath, eyes welling with tears. “They were right all along…”
He sighs, crossing his arms. “Cariño, a thousand rumors surround my name on a day to day basis, could you be more specific?”
An eye twitch is what makes a single tear slide down your face, but you’re not crying out of heartbreak anymore, no—you’re crying out of pure anger. You feel a hatred like never before, seeing him standing there all nonchalant.
The fame. The money. The attention. It’s all gone straight to his head.
“That you’re a flirt,” you accuse. “That you’re egotistical. That you’re too full of yourself. That you’re vain. That you’re a player.” You let out a delirious laugh, nearly letting go of the sheets that cover you whole. Mascara stains the corner of your eyes as you shake your head in disbelief. “That you’re nothing but a manipulator who thrives on deceiving those around you.” Your hand shakes with fury as you glare at the Argentinian. “Lissie and Logan…they were right about you all along.”
He can’t even deny that, so he says nothing indeed. But that just angers you even more. Grabbing him by the collar, you yank him down to look at you straight in the eyes of the girl he just broke with zero mercy.
“Lissie was never in love with me, was she?”
He doesn’t say anything.
“Adelina wasn’t your tutor, she was Logan’s girlfriend, wasn't she?”
He doesn't say anything.
Hiccupping, his face becomes far too blurry as your shoulders shake with every sob. It's filled with suffering, and agony, and he sincerely starts to worry about your wellbeing. You don't look good anymore—your eyes are puffy and lifeless, your lips are swollen from how often you keep biting them to try and suppress your tears, your makeup smears tragically, and that…pains him to see.
“You were never going to take me serious, were you?”
A lump enters his throat, cruelly making him realize that for some reason, and for the first time in his life—he cares.
He feels guilty.
But feeling at fault does not make the reality any less true.
Slowly, he grimaces, shaking head full of curls and making you let him go, chucking to yourself. “I’m not mad at you, Franco.” You scoff, rolling your eyes and using the sheets as a tissue. “I’m mad at myself.” This time, you narrow your eyes, sharp and threatening, contradicting your prior sentence. “For letting some boy get in between my best friend and I. For letting some boy feed me lies. For letting some boy drag me to hell and back. For letting some boy think he was a man.”
He flinches harshly at your words that are laced with venom. He’s had this happen to him before—grls cursing him out, girls belittling him for doing it first to them.
So then why—why does this hurt him?
“Don’t you feel funny knowing that people know you for what you are?” you ask, curling a brow. “That all the rumors are true.”
“Not always,” he answers weakly, still not meeting your eyes, too ashamed. “They could also be a hoax, at times.”
“Mmm,” you mumble, thinking back to a couple months ago where you and Lissie had a similar conversation. Christ, were you just as stubborn as him? “Since when?”
All he does is blink. All he does is stare.
All you do is change.
All you both do—is learn a very valuable lesson.
-
Rightfully so, Lissie kept her distance despite you texting her hundreds of times begging to meet up and talk. To make things right amongst you both.
And honestly, there would have been no chance of sitting in front of one another if Logan had not been the first one to accept your apology, forcing you two to talk about everything.
“Okay, um—” An awkward giggle. “I’m sorry, I don't know how to do this…”Twiddling her thumbs, the Brit sighs, probably just as nervous as you, and Logan snickers during the whole thing. Gulp. “I want to start off by saying that you were right. About—well. Franco.”
Stillness is your enemy because suddenly her lack of words makes your entire world begin to flip on its axis, too horrified to begin and imagine the worst. But Lissie has never been one to hold grudges—well—when it comes to you.
“I know I was.”
Okay, but maybe she’ll put up a good fight for the first few seconds.
You nod feverishly. “Yeah…and I, um, should have listened to you. To both of you.”
“You should have,” she responds dryly, still with her head held up high.
Okay, you deserve this.
“Lissie, I’m so sorry,” you say, firm and desperate, round eyes softening as she remains stoic for a second. “You were just looking out for me, and I was acting childish.” Or two. “And I would understand if you never want to see or hear from me again, but—I really wish that's not the case.”
Or three.
Pursuing her pink lips, the journalist gets up from her place on the couch, making you stomach drop at the thought of her leaving, putting a definite end to your guys’ friendship. But you wouldn't be able to say you were surprised. She had every right to do just that.
And by some miracle, she stays.
Walking up to with eagerness, she happily throws her arms around you, making you laugh and do the same, digging your face into her neck. How could you have ever pushed something as sacred as this away for someone like Franco?
“I forgive you, of course, I forgive you,” she says with enlightenment, smiling from ear to ear. “And I'm sorry you had to go through all that, I hope he rots for the rest of eternity.”
You let out a giggle, pulling back, eyes flickering over at Logan. “Come here, dude.” It's a bear hug, one that suffocates you, but you couldn't have asked for anything better. “Ah. I can't believe I let him get to my head,” you yelp, bumping your hand against your temple over and over again. “I feel so stupid.”
“Stop it,” Lissie warns, brown eyes painted with subtle threat, like an older sister. “How could you have known?”
“Because you told me countless times to stay away,” you return, deadpan.
Logan snickers. “True.”
The brunette girl swats his arms, making him let out a yelp in slight pain. You smile gingerly at the interaction, realizing how much you missed this. “Whatever, you live and you learn, right?”
“Right,” they chorus.
You three spend the next few hours cooped up in Lissie’s flat, ordering shitty pizza from the parlor down the street. It takes like cardboard, you all agree after the first few bites. You beg for an update from both of them, hit with surprise when Logan opens up about seeing someone—Riley, you think her name is—and how he might be joining IndyCar, but only time will tell.
“He’s already had a couple test rounds,” Lissie brags for him, watching as he blushes, nursing his soda. “And he’s fantastic. I really think you have a fair shot at getting an offer. Plus, your racing history is killer, it’ll help.”
“Thank, Lis,” he mumbles timidly beneath his breath. “Oh. Tell her about Marcus.”
“Marcus?” you repeat, clearly interested in knowing more. You lean forward, shimming as she rolls her eyes over at the blond. “Who’s that?”
“No one—”
“Yeah, right!” he yelps. “Only the hotshot you're dating.”
A beat. “Wait, Lis, you have a boyfriend?”
The Brit burns burgundy. “No, no, no. We’ve just gone out a couple times, that's all.”
“Oooh,” you tease. “And what? You love him?” you sing, enjoying the way she withers away with embarrassment. “Oh, come on, Lissie, tell me, tell me!”
“I don't love him,” she groans, digging her face into a pillow and sounds far too muffled. “Fuck you two.”
“I didn't say anything,” he says, chuckling with amusement before getting up to use the bathroom.
Once he's far out of view, you jump to the spot next to her, ripping the cushion out of her hands. She frowns, long hair messy. You wiggle your neat brows. “I swear I won't tell.”
“There's nothing to say.”
“Oh, so it was physical?”
“I will kick you.”
Raising your arms up in surrender, you giggle wholeheartedly, making her start to giggle too. And just like that, it feels like old times.
As if he never even happened.
“Tell me one thing,” she speaks up, gathering her breath. “Did you fall in love with him?”
A rude flinch, then: “I did.”
“But you regret it?”
This you don't have to think twice about. “Of course, I do, are you kidding me? Franco quite literally shattered my heart.”
A beat.
“I told you so.”
You glare. “Seriously?”
Lissie waves her arms theatrically. “I'm sorry, but it's true! Didn’t I?”
She did. She told you millions of times, but you never listened. But God, you really, really, really wish you had. “Wanna hear something crazy?”
“Uh, duh,” she responds, propping her arms to face you.
You laugh, already feeling silly about what you're about to say. “Franco swore you were in love with me and that's why you didn't want me near him.”
She freezes. “What?”
Picking up a slice of pizza that's gone cold by now, you nod, snorting at the thought you once believed something as outrageous as that. “Yeah, he said that you just acted differently around me.” Another bite. “Told you it was crazy.”
“It is,” she mutters, brows furrowed as she watches you chew. “The lengths he would go to just to keep you to himself, Jesus Christ.”
“I know,” you respond. “And I know you love me, but not like that. He was actually sick for making up lies like that without even flinching.” A giggle. “Anyways, now I know that the person you do love is baby face, Marcus Armstrong.”
The Brit blushes, pushes her curtain bangs away from her face. “Leave us alone.”
“Us,” you squeal, getting up once Logan comes back into the living room with a new can of soda. “Where do you keep the cherry colas?”
“In the mini-fridge,” she yells, sighing contentedly as the couch dips once again.
Logan looks behind him swiftly, then back at Lissie who scrolls through her phone.
“I feel bad for lying to her.”
Flicking her gaze back up quickly, the British girl glares hard enough to make him wince and regret saying anything in the first place. “Don’t,” she states, brown eyes darker than ever. “Say that ever again.”
“Why not?” Agitatedly, he runs a hand through his hair, glancing around before narrowing his blue eyes, matching her scowl. “This isn’t what you do when you love someone.”
“Be quiet,” Lissie hisses, inching closer to him, afraid of you walking in and catching their conversation. “I told you that in confidence.”
The blond sighs, going in and holding her small hand against his. In a way, he feels sympathy for his friend at this moment because he's sure being secretly in love with someone is a challenge of its own. She opened up to him about it, told him how she was confused at first, but now she was sure. How she said it all came to be the moment you introduced her to a couple of your hometown friends a few years ago and she realized, yeah, I want to belong to her world.
But what she hadn’t expected was for Franco—out of all people, Franco—to be able to tell how she feels. And sure. Maybe he thought of it as a lie, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that he nailed it right in the bullseye. Lissie just couldn’t—couldn’t—imagine him having you. It was impossible, it didn’t make sense.
But you and her did. You just didn’t know it yet.
“You have to tell her how you feel, she’s going to find out!” he hisses, gritting his teeth, trying to make her understand that would lead them to no good.
“No—she won’t,” she reassures him more than herself. “She wasn’t able to tell that Franco was a douchebag, do you really think she’ll be able to tell that her best friend is in love with her?” A beat. “Even I can admit that she’s a bit dumb.”
“That’s low, Lissie, so fucking low,” he says, taken over by a wave of sympathy for seeing how others view you when you’re not around. “How does that make you any better than him?”
“Please,” she grits. “Franco and I are not the same. What’s my crime? That I haven’t confessed my feelings? And what about him? That he manipulated her, told her lies, fucked her, then left her to figure it out by herself all with a broken heart?”
Who’s the real villain here, Logan, huh?
In hindsight, he is. Franco is the one who caused the most harm.
But Lissie? Lissie’s not that far behind.
“What about Adelina?” he counterstrikes pathetically. “She was never even my girlfriend!”
“Yes, she was.” The brunette tilts her head slowly. “Why are you suddenly backtracking on all of this? I thought you were onboard.”
“I was!” Pause. “I mean, I-I-I am. Fuck…I don’t know.”
But she’s seen this happen before. She’s seen it happen with you.
Lissie squints her eyes, long lashes fluttering dangerously. “Franco got to you, didn’t he?” Logan looks away and that’s a valid answer in her dictionary. Sitting straight, the Brit girl lets out a sigh. “Which side are you on?”
“Yours.” Right? “Franco’s?” Right? A loud exhale. “Shit, I don’t know!”
“She’s lying to you, Logan, can’t you see?” Franco explains, somewhere in Texas. Formula One and IndyCar cross paths here, and while the Argentinian is here to race, well, Logan was here for testing because he thinks—thinks—he might have a shot at landing a strong contract by the end of the month. “She’s good at doing that.”
The blond shakes his head. “Why would she do that?”
“Because she hates me,” he responds as if it were the most obvious answer. “Lissie…she’s never liked me. I swear, I think she might be in love with—”
“I’m gonna stop you right there,” Logan says, cutting him off. But it’s too late—he can tell Franco is skeptical.
“Hold on a minute—am I right?”
“No,” the blue eyed boy responds with such a hurry, that not even the stupidest idiot on Earth would think he was being honest. “Are you cra—no, of course not.”
“Dios, what is going on?” the William's driver mumbled, head growing dizzy from how complicated this has all gotten. And it was all your fault, for being so goddamn alluring. Or maybe it was his. Or maybe it was Lissie’s.
Who’s fucking keeping score anymore?
Logan reaches for the tab, simply looking for a reason to get up and go, but the brunette is quick to grab it, sliding his card against the folder. “Thanks,” the blond stutter, standing up and pushing his chair in. “I can’t tell anymore.”
Franco freezes. “What do you mean?”
“Who’s telling the truth and who’s telling lies.”
“I don’t trust you,” Logan whispers, almost letting out a wince from how hard Lissie is glaring at him now. “But I don’t trust him, either.”
And it’s confusing because you two are such good people, deep down, but the way you both are able to lie, and lie, and lie—
“I couldn’t find it,” you say, barging back into the room, panting softly, mouth open. “I know you said the mini fridge, but I didn’t see anything.”
Both your friends blink blanky, looking up. The journalist is the first to break the silence, giggling to herself. “Don’t worry, I can help.”
“Great!” you cheer, disappearing back in the direction you came from.
And before she leaves, before she goes out of view as well, Lissie leans down, face to face with Logan who shifts uncomfortably.
“Why do you think Franco might be lying to you?” she asks, voice deep with tranquility.
Blue eyes connect with brown ones.
She smiles, a childlike dimple popping innocently.
“Could it be that maybe he's in love—with you?”
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Why I think you should be able to romance Yosuke in the P4 Remake

Canonically speaking, Yosuke is pretty much Junpei 2.0. The straight bro best friend to the MC who is obsessed with getting a girlfriend. However, there was a romance route for him that was cut from the game, probably late into development. This would have no doubt recontextualized his entire character arc.
"Comphet," short for compulsory heterosexuality, is a term used to describe the societal assumption that everyone is naturally heterosexual. This concept suggests that people may feel pressured to form heterosexual relationships due to cultural norms and societal pressures, rather than genuine attraction. My opinion is that Yosuke's original character arc was supposed to be an exploration of this idea, due to how much support there was for it in the narrative. And here’s why I think they should add this idea back in for the remake, which looks to be on the horizon.
In P4, everyone's shadow was connected to their sexuality or gender role. Chie was a tomboy who was jealous of Yukiko's femininity. Yukiko was a "Yamato Nadeshiko" who was sick of being fetishized as the ideal girl, which in Japanese culture, is often overly meek. Kanji was bullied because of his feminine hobbies and adopted a hypermasculine thuggish persona. Rise felt disillusioned with her oversexualized idol persona and the performative aspects of show business. And Naoto dealt with internalized misogyny which manifested in her adopting a male persona.
Yosuke: And what's this about checking out this world for Saki-senpai's sake? Hah! I know the real reason you came snooping... You just came because you thought it sounded like a good time! What else is there to do in this shithole? A world inside the TV—now that's exciting! You didn't have a single other reason for coming here, did you!?
Yosuke was the odd one out, as his shadow mainly involved his repressed resentment at living out in the countryside and being very lonely. His shadow also had the least humiliating baggage to expose. He had feelings for Saki. But his shadow self's "dark secret" was that he was more excited about exploring the TV world than genuinely investigating her death. Shadow Yosuke accuses Yosuke of not being as sweet on Saki as he appeared to be. However, this idea didn't really go anywhere.
When the Magician card is reversed in a Tarot reading, it can suggest manipulation. In a relationship context, it means that someone may be presenting a false image or facade in order to manipulate the perceptions of others. And that idea certainly fit Yosuke. He pretended to be carefree. But what if he was also pretending to be heterosexual? What if the "horny straight bro" was just a mask? Is there any evidence of this? Actually, I think there was.
Shadow Yukiko: Tonight, Princess Yukiko has a big surprise—I'm gonna go score myself a hot stud! Welcome to "Not a Dream, Not a Hoax"—Princess Yukiko's hunt for her Prince Charming! And I came prepared: I've got my lacy unmentionables on, stacked from top to bottom! I'm out to catch a whole harem, and the best of the lot is gonna be all mine!
The Shadows in P4 are partly comprised of the suppressed thoughts and emotions of the actual person. There was a part of Yukiko's subconscious that felt like she needed a "Prince Charming" to save her. But the shadows who showed up on the Midnight Channel were also formed from the desires of what the general public wanted to see. Yukiko herself didn't really want to score with a harem of hot studs. It was the male students at Yasogami High who truly wanted to see that happen.
Yosuke was very nonchalant about failing the "Amagi Challenge". He took it in stride, almost as a badge of honor. And I found it very interesting how he showed absolutely NO reaction whatsoever to what Shadow Yukiko said. Nothing. If it were any other boy at school, I'm sure he would have had something to say about the most popular girl talking about how badly she wanted to lose her virginity to a bunch of hot studs. But Yosuke acted like he couldn't have cared less. He just said that the stuff she was saying sounded weird and that was it.
Yosuke: I haven't changed addresses since before we moved to Inaba. I mean, I might get a text from someone…It's hard to call, y'know? If I called people just to tell them my number changed, they'd get annoyed. And some of them never planned to text me anyway… Oh but hey, don't look at me like I don't have any friends!
According to Saki, "Hana-chan" didn't hang out with the other guys much. But in Rank 3 of his Social Link, it seemed like he desperately wanted to have closer relationships with male friends. And that may have been the true reason he happily took on the Amagi Challenge when he was a new transfer student. He probably just wanted to fit in with the other boys.
Yosuke: Haha…I never thought I'd be talking about serious stuff like this. Before I moved here, it was all small talk…Stupid, trivial things. I thought that was fine. It's only with you guys that I talk seriously like this. I dunno why, but I feel like I don't have to lie… Especially with you. You've already seen the worst of me and all. But well…thinking about it now, if someone had to see that, I'm glad it was you. It's a bit late now, but… Thanks for going in with me that time. Yosuke is smiling sheepishly…
By Rank 4, Yosuke acts very different around Yu than he does around the rest of the Investigation Team. He never acts this serious or sincere around anyone else. The other members of the group also open up emotionally to Yu. But Yosuke especially acts like a totally different character. He takes off his mask around Yu and only Yu. He's probably the first friend—especially a male friend—that he ever had where he could just be himself instead of adopting a false persona to fit in.
Yosuke: I can't get my mind off certain things whenever I have a spare moment… (option 1) Yu: Certain things? Yosuke: Uh, you know…stuff. I mean, well… Argh! Let's not get into it! Why do I get the feeling this is going to turn into a depressing conversation!?
During an evening conversation that occurs around Golden Week, Yosuke hints at some unresolved baggage related to his Shadow.
(option 2) Yu: Like Saki-senpai? Yosuke: Oh, come on... Of all the things you could bring up, you pick that one? I mean, that's part of it, but... I dunno, how do I put it? Argh! Let's not get into it! I don't wanna have this conversation!
Saki was part of it, but not the only thing. And he was blushing, too. The implication was probably that he was developing feelings for someone other than her and he might have been feeling a bit guilty for that. Or at least, that was my own personal interpretation.
Yosuke: Y'know, Chie and Yukiko seem different lately. They're a lot closer. Oh yeah, I was just curious, but are you...Ehh, never mind. If we keep chatting, we're gonna be late.
But there is evidence for that interpretation. After Golden Week is over and the group is headed back to school, Yosuke attempts to ask Yu if he is interested in Chie or Yukiko. The fact that he was so hesitant about asking made it stand out a bit to me. He probably had feelings for someone within their friend group.
Yosuke: Oh, I almost forgot. It's kinda off-subject, but as long as you're on the line, mind if I ask something? It's something I've been meaning to ask for a while. So…what do you think about Yukiko and Chie? I mean, let's not mince words: Which one's your type?
Before the stakeout for Kanji, he finally asks Yu which girl is his type.
Yosuke: Huh? Seriously? So that's the kinda girl you go for, huh...? She is a great girl, though. Plenty of fun to be around, too.
If Yu answers that he's interested in Chie, Yosuke acts a bit surprised. Not in an insulting way. He just assumed it would be Yukiko because all the guys in school were crazy about her.
Yosuke: Ohhh, I had a feeling you'd say that. She's actually pretty interesting. I never knew she was like that. My image of her has changed completely, but I like her way better now. Hey, but don't worry. This is just between you and me. Okay, see you tomorrow.
If Yu says that he is interested in Yukiko, Yosuke says he suspected as much. He doesn't say anything about her looks or anything. Interestingly, he just says that his image of her has changed, but he likes Yukiko more now after seeing her true self. Almost as if he didn’t have a very great impression of her before.
Yosuke: That being said…Yukiko, can I have your cell number? Chie: Hey…Was this your plan all along? Yosuke: Uh, no? I got everybody's phone number except for hers. And the Y section of my address book needs some filling out.
During the stakeout, he asked Yukiko for her phone number. So, the player would probably assume that Yosuke wanted to go out with Yukiko. That is what Chie assumed, after all. But I think that was a red herring.
Chie: Hey, how do you think the others are doing? Yosuke: Beats me. For all we know, he's hitting on Yukiko as we speak. Chie: Yeaaaah, no. He's not like you. Yukiko doesn't seem to be interested in that stuff anyway. Wait—are you saying he's interested in her? Yosuke: Huh!? Uh…I…wouldn't know…We don't really talk about that kinda stuff…Hahahaha. Chie: Now I'm even more suspicious! You know something, don't you? Yosuke: I-I seriously don't know! It's not like we've been hanging out that long, haha…
But Yosuke actually seemed less interested in Yukiko herself and more interested in the possibility that Yu might be interested in her. Even if Yu tells him that he's not interested, Yosuke probably didn't believe him. So, it’s possible that he wanted to become closer friends with Yukiko so that he could know right away if she and Yu started dating.
Shadow Kanji: I think that you three…would make wonderful boyfriends. Yosuke: S-Stop it! Y-You got it all wrong!
Kanji's arc introduces the idea of homosexuality into the story. And Yosuke got worked up over Kanji's shadow FAR more than he did with Yukiko's. When he called Yu after Kanji's Midnight Channel program aired, he was "too flustered to get his point across". And Yosuke felt the need to deny Kanji's Shadow almost as much as Kanji himself did.
Shadow Kanji: Accept me for who I am! Yosuke: Wh-Whoa! I really don't swing that way!
It gave me the impression that themes of Kanji's dungeon were just as relevant to Yosuke's character arc as they were to Kanji's. Perhaps even more so in some ways.
Kanji: I, uh…I don't really get it myself. Girls are so loud and obnoxious, so, y'know…I really don't like dealing with 'em. Guys are a lot more laid-back. S-So, uh, I started thinking…What if I'm the type who never gets interested in girls…? And I couldn't accept that, so I kept spinning around and around in my head… Yosuke: Well, I can understand the part about feeling more relaxed around dudes.
Homosexuality is a societal taboo. It is often something that people suppress and do not accept within themselves. It is actually the perfect subject to explore for a game about the shadow self. I don't think Kanji was gay. But I do think that Yosuke was originally supposed to be. And a lot of what Shadow Kanji said hit a little too close to home for him.
Chie: Well, the night's kinda fun. We cook our own meals with mess kits and sleep in tents. Yukiko: The four of us are in the same group. Yosuke: The same group, huh…? Does that mean we sleep together at night, too!? Chie: You wish! Guys and girls sleep in different tents! I'm warning ya…If you leave your tent at night, you'll be expelled on the spot.
When Yosuke found out that they were all in the same group, he actually stood up out of his chair. You're meant to think he reacted this way because he was thinking about sharing a tent with girls. Typical straight teenage boy. But I'm sure he knew they weren't sleeping with the girls on a school trip. His reaction probably had nothing to do with the girls. He probably got worked up about sleeping in the same tent as someone he had been developing feelings for.
Yosuke: This is as good a time as any, so…I-I want you to be honest with us. Kanji: Uh…okay? Yosuke: A-Are you really…you know…? Kanji: Am I really what…? Yosuke: What I mean is, uh…Are we gonna be safe with you? Kanji: Wha—!? Wh-Wh-What the hell's that supposed to mean? I-I already told you guys I'm not like that!
According to Jung, psychological projection is a major aspect of the shadow. When individuals project, they unconsciously attribute qualities that belong to their own shadow onto others. This allows them to avoid confronting these aspects within themselves. If they had stuck with that original idea, I don’t this scene would have been so controversial and offensive to people. By taking Yosuke's same-sex attraction out of the narrative, the game felt a lot more juvenile as a result. Yosuke's homophobia could have been used to explore his shadow self. But instead, it was just used to take cheap shots at Kanji for no reason other than comedy.
Yosuke: W-Well then why are you all hot and bothered about it!? That's just more suspicious!
The irony of this line certainly wasn't lost on me. And I don't think the writers were so lacking in self-awareness that they didn't realize how Yosuke was the one getting all hot and bothered by anything related to homosexuality after Kanji's dungeon. I think it was supposed to raise some suspicions in the player about Yosuke's sexual orientation.
Yosuke: And c'mon, you guys gotta admit I chose some good suits. Those girls might be childish on the inside, but I bet they're gonna turn into some fine-looking women before too long! Don't you think so, Yu?
If Yosuke was always intended to be written as a straight guy or even a bisexual guy, this part would come across as misogynistic and kinda creepy. Even Stupei wouldn't buy swimsuits for his female friends. But if Yosuke was actually meant to be a gay boy, this is more of a sad attempt at imitating a straight boy to appear "normal". And if that were the case, his behavior with girls is a lot more forgivable.
Yosuke: So…? You keep the goods under the futon? (option 1) Yu: Huh? Yosuke: C'mon…No need to play dumb. Don't worry. I'll still be your friend even if you're into the freaky stuff. Yosuke looks like he's having fun.
Yosuke wasn't truly interested in Yu's dirty magazines. He was only interested to learn more about what kind of girls he was into. I know they added a scene in Golden where Teddie finds Yosuke's porn stash and he shows it to his parents. It's played straight as pure comic relief. "Haha, Yosuke never stops thinking about girls". But in his Rank 5 SL, this felt like it was meant to be a more serious topic.
(option 2) Yu: Of course. Yosuke: Hahaha! Why are you acting so dignified about it? Alright, I'll check 'em out when you go take a piss or something. I'll expose your embarrassing tastes!! Yosuke looks like he's having fun.
The "embarrassing tastes" comment was interesting.
(option 3) Yu: What, don't you? Yosuke: Haha! Like I'd hide mine in such an obvious spot! One time, my mom found it and read the title out loud to the whole family… Yosuke is reflecting on his past…
It actually sounds like Yosuke was the one with "embarrassing tastes". If his mom felt the need to shame him in front of the family like that, it leads you to wonder what he was looking at exactly. Sure, it could have been some typical straight boy stuff. But what if it was a men’s magazine or something? Depending on how traditional his family was, he could have received disapproval for that.
Yosuke: So, you ever invited a girl in here? (option 1) Yu: I haven't. Yosuke: Haha, maybe you're more of a man's man than I thought. Yosuke seems happy…
Yosuke seems happy if Yu is not planning to bring a girl over.
(option 2) Yu: I will soon. Yosuke: Seriously!? That mean you're working on someone!? Yosuke is keyed up…
And he gets keyed up if he is.
(option 3) Yu: I have. Yosuke: Seriously!? Who'd you… I'll stop there. I think it's better I don't know. Yosuke is smiling wryly…
He probably assumed it was Yukiko and he didn't wanna know any more details than that. Again, due to comphet, most people would probably assume that he was just jealous because he wanted to date her himself.
Yosuke: Because she likes him…? M-Man, kids sure are mature these days…Well, my first love was in first grade, too! I've always been ahead of my time. But, well…I don't really need that in my life right now. It's just not the time…I have something I need to do before that can happen…
But he actually didn't. His true feelings are quite different than his public persona where he's obsessed with getting a girlfriend. Especially in Golden, like with the motorcycle scene. Yosuke said he was ahead of his time. And I think he was. His character arc seemed to be about being closeted and coming to terms with it. But that was a trickier subject during the time period which the game first came out.
Rise: And the bustline… Yosuke: Huh? Rise: Mine aren't that big. Yosuke: Oh yeah, I see what you mean now… I-I mean…What am I saying!? U-Um, I'm sorry…!
Similar to Yukiko's Shadow, Yosuke had no real interest in the sexual aspects of Rise's Shadow. The Midnight Channel zoomed in to emphasize her chest and waist area, which was due to the general public's interest in her sex appeal. Yosuke told Yu he could tell it was Rise by the hairstyle. However, in front of the others, he said he knew it was her because of her figure. It's a minor detail, but it suggests that his reaction was completely performative. He didn't even recognize her figure in person that well anyways.
Chie: Let's hurry and rescue her! Yosuke! You better not slack off, hoping she'll "bare it all" if we take our sweet time! Yosuke: I-I wouldn't pull a stunt like that! Yukiko: …… Yosuke: Wh-What's with the silent treatment!? I won't do that, I swear! Believe me, I know! We'll rescue Rise before the fog sets in!
The female members of the team assume that Yosuke would want to take as long as possible to save Rise so he could see her strip.
Shadow Rise: Eee, how embarrassing! Is this too hot for TV!? Well, if a thing is worth doing, it's worth doing all the way! I'm gonna bare it all for you! Heehee! Stay tuned! Yosuke: I-Is she serious about baring it all!? Is it me, or are these shows getting crazier and crazier!? Yosuke sounds excited. Yu: We're in no rush. Yosuke: Huh? But if we don't recue her, isn't Risette gonna...s-strip...? *gulp* Dude, we can't let her go through with that!
However, if Yu actually suggests that they take their time, Yosuke doesn't even get why. He doesn't want to see her strip and never even jokes about it, like Junpei no doubt would have.
Snooty student: So it's Kazumi now that Saki's dead!? Don't even bother, she has a boyfriend. Didn't you get it!? Saki didn't like you! We heard so from her! She may have acted that way, but… They started to badmouth Saki-senpai… Yu: Shut up! Yosuke: Yu… Snooty student: Wha—Who are you!? You shut up! Yosuke: You're the ones who should shut up!! What do you know about Saki-senpai!? She didn't do things half-assed like you! She looked lazy, but she worked hard! She talked bad, but she was good inside! So she hated me? I knew that! She's not here anymore! I'm left behind! …Just leave me alone.
In Rank 6, Yosuke didn't become angry when he listened to the girls gossiping about Saki. He only lost his temper when they insulted Yu.
Yu: You were just upset. Yosuke: N-No, I was just… Yosuke is smiling pathetically… Yosuke: Damn…Another pathetic display from Yosuke, huh? Thanks, though. Hearing you say that stuff to them…It made me happy.
Saying "You were just upset" in Rank 7 is a flag that unlocks the option to hug Yosuke in Rank 8. And the Rank 8 hug was probably a potential romance flag, just like when Rise was crying, and the game warns you that this is an important moment and there's no going back. The fact that these flags were still left in the game suggests the romance route was taken out relatively late in development.
Yukiko: The people at the inn keep asking me questions every day, like "What kind of guy is he?" and "Is he handsome?" *chuckle* I'm sorry I got you involved. Yosuke: …… Oh, uh, I'm going to go take a little walk. Yukiko: Huh? No, it’s not what you think!
When Yukiko is at Rank 6, this is the dungeon dialogue between them. There was definitely a love triangle going on between Yu, Yukiko, and Yosuke. Yosuke was clearly jealous.

Kanji and Teddie were conveniently removed from the equation. But Yosuke was a King's Game option. Kanji wanted Naoto to enter the beauty pageant to prove to himself that he was into girls. And Yosuke signed up all the girls. Was he also trying to prove himself straight?
Yu: What kind of girl do you like? Yosuke: W-well, for me, um... I guess a girl that's kind and sorta fragile, you know? Someone I'd want to protect...
Yosuke actually had a hard time with this question. He gets one on those blank scribbly symbols over his head. He was actually describing a Yamato Nadeshiko, which is the idealized woman in Japanese culture. A very safe and generic answer for someone who is "totes into girls" but has no specific type. Kanji's answer to this question was more detailed because he had a specific girl he liked in mind.
Male class rep: Okay…your turn. Who would you want to date? Yu: Yosuke. Yosuke: Okay, we get it! You're good at role-playing! Now quit it! You're creeping me out… Kanji: There are many forms of love…Didn't you tell me something like that? Yosuke: No! Not at all! Well, I admit, I'm pretty dependable…and decent lookin', right?
If Yu sits on girl side, Kanji is also an option. However, Yosuke is the one who gets hot and bothered by homosexuality. At least in public. Privately, he apparently told Kanji off-screen that he had nothing against other forms of love.
Yosuke: Your turn. What type of girls do you like? Yu: A kind girl. Yosuke: Ooh, me too! You get this urge to care for and protect them...
If Yu sits on the boy side, Yosuke is the one who will be forced to sit on the girl side. And he will single out Yu with his question, to learn what type of girl he likes. He can respond that he likes a girl like Chie, a girl like Yukiko, or a kind girl. Yosuke is very happy if Yu says he likes someone he has the urge to care for and protect.
Yu: Any of us you like, Yosuke? Yosuke: Well, you guys are all wonderful... But I think you'd be the most reliable. I-I mean—You idiot! Don't make me play along!
Yosuke would choose Yu to date because he's "reliable". It begs the question. Did he want a kind girl to care for and protect? Or did he truly want to be the kind fragile girl being cared for and protected by a reliable guy?
Yosuke: …I found this. It's a Print Club sticker I took with Saki-senpai… When I first got here, she insisted on taking it… Back then…somewhere inside me, I thought I was above this place… A lot of people saw me as the enemy because Junes was going to ruin the shopping district. But…when I met her, she told me, "Parents are parents. You're you…" Even if she didn't really mean it…it made me happy. Because of her…I started to think maybe this town wasn't all that bad. But then… Yu: She dumped you? Yosuke: No… that didn't matter. As long as she was still alive…
Yosuke was still mourning Saki's loss in Rank 8. But his relationship with her was not particularly close. They were coworkers for less than a year and he knew she didn't even like him. However, she accepted him. That's why he latched onto her. He probably thought he liked her romantically. Maybe he even wanted to like her, since he was so lonely. But I think as he spent time with Yu, he slowly realized that he never really did. But he did have those feelings for Yu.
Yosuke: Yu…I get it now. I wanted to forget about Saki-senpai. How she's not here anymore. I wanted to forget that…I was living a boring life in the middle of nowhere. When the murders started, I got excited…I thought there was finally a point to me being in Inaba…I thought I could forget Senpai was gone…and the fact that I was such a loser…I jumped at the murders and never once thought about what I was doing… I… didn't even take the first step…
I believe Yosuke liked Saki as a person, but he wasn't in love with her or anything. She was a crutch to help him forget his loneliness. And when she died, he latched onto the excitement and mystery of TV world as a distraction. And he felt very guilty over that.
Yosuke: But I think I'm awake now… I need to get over the fact that Saki-senpai isn't coming back… That when this case ends… I'll have nowhere to run… And I won't have changed… …… …You made me realize that. It seems you were able to act as Yosuke's crutch… You feel a bond between you and Yosuke.
The reason Yosuke was crying was probably not because of his deep grief over losing Saki. It was likely because he had found a new emotional crutch. And he was a lot closer to Yu than he was to Saki and even more afraid of losing him. He was afraid of what would happen when the case was over, Yu went back home, and he was all alone again.
(option 1) Yu hugs him Yosuke: You dumbass…That's for girls…
Yukiko's character arc was about moving away from stereotypical femininity and the whole ideal of Yamato Nadeshiko. She became more independent and assertive. But I think Yosuke's character arc was probably meant to mirror hers in many ways. He wanted to be the "girl" in a relationship, but he learned to view that desire as something shameful and he was unable to acknowledge it within himself.
(option 2) Yu pats his head Yosuke: Haha... Quit treating me like a kid...
Amusingly, the kanji for nadeshiko (撫子) also literally means "child being petted".
Yu: Be a man. Stand up straight. Yosuke: Haha… You're right. I wonder what'd be going through my mind if I was man's man like you. Yosuke is smiling weakly…
Yosuke was not a man's man like Yu. He had an obnoxious dudebro persona he adopted in a social setting, but it was not his true self.
Yosuke: This town I hated so much? Now, I love it. There's still nothing here, but I have family and friends...and you. The important things are never far off...They're all around you. Yosuke seems a bit embarrassed... Yosuke: I always wanted to be "special." I thought my life'd finally have meaning if I was "special" to someone. That's why I was really excited when I got my Persona. But I really didn't need it…It's not what you have or what you can do…Just being born, living your life…Before you know it, you're already special to someone. Yu: You're right. Yosuke: Yeah…Like you…You're special to me, you know?
Comphet can cause people to pursue romantic relationships even when they are not sexually attracted to the person. They often don't feel like someone of the same sex is even an option. I don't think Saki was truly "special" to Yosuke. But he wanted to be special to someone else so badly, and he thought that a girl was his only option. So, he latched onto the first girl to show him a tiny bit of acceptance.
Yosuke: There's something I wanted to tell you. Somewhere deep down… I didn't trust you. No, it's more like…I was jealous of you. I thought you were like me. Coming from the city to the countryside, I thought you'd be bored out of your mind here. But as soon as you got here, you called your Persona…Became our leader, gathered people…You're a hero. I like you for that, and I'm proud of you…But I guess I was jealous at the same time. Yu: I didn't know. Yosuke: I didn't know it either…When I called you "special," I thought some more about it. I think out of everyone, I wanted to be acknowledged by you the most…
Yosuke had an unused confession where he would tell Yu that he liked him. And based on the Japanese wording, there's almost no chance it was meant in a platonic way. It's how people express romantic liking. He was jealous of how Yu was special. But I don't think it's because Yosuke wanted to be the hero, the way Junpei did. Yosuke wanted to be special to Yu. But he didn't feel like he was good enough because Yu was more objectively cool and special. He wanted to be an equal partner.
Yosuke: So… I want you to hit me! Give me a good one. Knock out all this crap inside me. I want to be equal to you. I want us to stand shoulder-to-shoulder. So c'mon… Will hitting Yosuke make you and him equal…?
In Rank 10, the game asks whether fighting will make them equal. I couldn't help but laugh. No, I didn’t think it would. It made no sense to me whatsoever.
Yosuke: Phew…The sky's so high up. Is Saki-senpai watching us…? Is she smiling at us? Senpai…I'm going to live. Without lying to myself, without deceiving myself… Days like today, days like before when I did nothing… They're all important days… They're all days you didn't live to see… I'm going to live them here.
As the culmination of his character arc, Yosuke said he would not deceive himself anymore. I was left wondering... When did that happen exactly? I could understand if this dialogue happened after Yosuke confessed his feelings for Yu and finally came out of the closet. Whether Yu reciprocated or not, it would have been an amazing conclusion to his arc and made him a much more interesting character. But sadly, it never happened.
I have no idea why they needed to have a fistfight for Yosuke's Persona to evolve. I think that when the romance confession part of the SL was taken out, the "dude brawl" scene was probably added in its place. They needed some emotionally cathartic moment, but didn’t really know what. I know this wasn’t the intention, but it almost felt like the game was telling me I had to beat the gay out of Yosuke. I didn’t like that.
The question now is: will Atlus change this Social Link in the inevitable remake? I think there’s a good chance they will. The P3 remake removed the transphobic scene. In Catherine, they added a route where Vincent embraced his bisexuality. And Yosuke’s over-the-top homophobia just wouldn’t fly nowadays without some kind of character development.
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TW! DRUG USED. MENTIONS OF OVERDOSING!!!
So apparently Two Time was addicted to nightshades (or more likely the medicine made out of it). The third milestone skin confirms it -> there's purple liquid next to their mouth if you watch closely. (And I heard someone saying this.)
We also know that Spawn cult is a hoax. What if the Elders of the cult purposely drugged food and/or drinks of 'blessed' cultist. So the hallucinations the medicine gave were interpreted as 'Visions granted by Spawn'.
They did it in an amount that wasn't deadly, but enough to hallucinate. That's the reason why Two Time was ready to sacrifice Azure.
Because they became so obsessed with Spawn, when the hallucination happened it was probably some interpretation of Spawn.
When Two Time told Amarah about their 'vision', he made them think it was Spawn telling them to sacrifice Azure.
It could've happened more than once. And when Two Time started getting sick (after all the drugs they were unknowingly consuming and their body becoming addicted) they believed it was Spawn punishing them for hesitating.
After the sacrifice, Two Time couldn't live with the guilt and regret. They started consuming the medicine Azure previously made. Eventually dying by overdosing.
The Nightshade skin is representing the nightshade poison consuming Two Time's body.
It was Amarah that drugged Two Time.
~ Purple Anon
OW WHAT THE FUCK 💔💔💔
#forsaken headcanons#forsaken#forsaken roblox#roblox forsaken#tw drug#tw drugs#tw drug use#tw overdose#purple anon#two time forsaken#azure forsaken#amarah forsaken#mod c00lkidd‼️‼️
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i know i got him || Rick Grimes (TWD) x gn! reader
rick grimes taglist: @golden-hoax @mgparker @zomb-1-egutzz
AVAILABLE ON AO3
Inspiration: Espresso by Sabrina Carpenter
Summary: Ever since you showed up, you've had an effect on Rick. At least, that's what everyone said. Initially, you hadn't recognized it. But after one too many coincidences, it's starting to become a little impossible to ignore.
TWs: flirting, simp behavior, cursing, and all things TWD.
[[A/N: Was listening to this song nonstop (so good btw) and my brain went... hmm. Rick is terribly down bad in this. Like eager to do things for you, following you around like a puppy dog, the works. Also this gif????? girl... Enjoy :)))) ]]
You had never really thought about how you affected him. Or how they thought you did, anyway.
"You're being ridiculous," you stated -plainly.
Maggie was trying desperately to convince you that you had one Rick Grimes wrapped around your finger. Rick Grimes? Wrapped around your finger? No way.
"Do you remember yesterday? When he went on a run to find you a pair of shoes?"
"That was not why he went out on a run," you laughed a little, mindlessly bouncing Judith against your side, "-we need more as a community than just-"
"Then, why-" she interjected, "-did he only come back with shoes?"
"He didn't," you countered, "-He had some cans of food, I remember."
"Two," she relented, looking at you with a raised eyebrow, "-he went out on a run for two cans of food?"
"Sometimes you can't find much-"
"Oh my god," Maggie rolled her eyes, "-you are unbelievable. Let me just show ya-"
You pursed your lips, as she walked ahead of you -beelining to Rick. She had quite the pep in her step, pregnant and all, "Show me?"
Before you could call out to her, she was at Rick's side. He seemed to be talking to Deanna, actually, and if he was talking to Deanna, it was probably important. He smiled at her, in a Rick sort of way, until she started motioning to you. You had no idea what she was saying, but his eyes flicked to you instinctively.
Now, you'd never thought about if he smiled differently at you, but it was kind of hard to ignore right now.
Eyes dipping over you and Judith, the bright grin on his face was very different than the one for Maggie previously. And it wasn't even like that one wasn't genuine, you could tell it was, this one was just different.
It was crinkly eyes and shining white teeth. It surprised you that it didn't even seem unfamiliar to you; how long had he been smiling at you like this? And you had just normalized it?
You guessed you didn't have a direct comparison but still-
You smiled back (maybe just as bright, you weren't sure) and gently waved.
Watching him laugh a little and shake his head (like he couldn't believe you were waving at him?), your eyes darted to the ever-so-slight pinks of his ears.
Before you could think about it, Maggie said something to grab his attention (eyes stuck to you before snapping to her), and they were both on the way to your side. Something worried in Rick's eyes, you felt some guilt coil into your stomach; what had Maggie said?
You couldn't ask about it before he was already at your side, hands itching to fuss over you -you could tell. He seemed to let them win.
"Maggie said ya got a headache?"
Right, it was a sort of offhand remark to Maggie. And it was hurting, the sun even stung your eyes a bit. But he left that conversation (obviously very important) because you had a headache?
The gears in your head were turning, and Maggie seemed to watch them -eyes stuck to your face. You couldn't believe it yet, there had to be a reason.
"Rick," you started, "-it's fine. It's minor, had it since I woke up this morning, I can-"
His eyebrows furrowed and his eyes gleamed with concern, hands coming to rest on your arm, "Ya had it since 'is mornin'?"
Shit.
"Yeah," you answered, still trying to fight your case, "-but really, Rick, it's nothing. I can manage-"
"Ya should go rest," he interrupted, taking Judith from your arms, "-least til' it gets a lil' better. 'S hurtin' your eyes, I can tell."
How did he know that?
"Rick, seriously-"
"I'll take ya home," he hummed, carefully, "-and I'll come back in an hour to check on ya-"
"Rick," you tried again.
"-Get some medicine from the doc', and bring it to ya myself," he finished, something in him decided.
You pursed your lips, trying a different angle, "Shouldn't you be getting back to Deanna?"
"She can wait," he responded, simply.
"Well," you frowned, "-it has to be important, I don't want to-"
"'S not as important as you."
The words faltered in your throat, and Maggie looked at you in a way that you could hardly grasp. Mouthing 'I told ya so', you thought on it. Maybe he was just concerned, I mean one thing-
And then, his hand came to rest on your lower back, guiding you home, and your brain promptly turned off.
Ever since that conversation, you'd been trying to reason. Keeping watch on your interactions with Rick (he did always smile at you like that, fyi), you were trying to rationalize it. Give it a reason. Other than what Maggie, and others, said, but it started stacking up.
It was a dreaded day, laundry day. And out of the cycle, it was your turn.
Sometimes, the people of Alexandria would just air dry their clothes for conservation reasons, really. And every time, there was someone assigned the duty. A little like how the meals were made, and someone had to help Carol -not that she'd ask for it. She was a little stubborn like that.
That being said, no one, and you mean no one, liked to do laundry. Specifically, because you had to get up early (to make sure you got all the sun power you could), and it took hours. Especially on your own.
You basically crawled out of bed at 4, maybe 5, in the morning. Still in your pajamas, you stalked through the streets of Alexandria -dragging your feet a little, you won't lie. Making your way over to the air drying area, you pulled out all the baskets and placed them along the ground -organized. It was probably the only time you ever really were these days.
Putting your hands on your hips, you let out a big, long sigh.
"Well," you tried to smile, still so asleep that your voice was cracking, "-the sooner I start, the sooner the hell ends."
Before you could even grab a single piece of clothing, a voice interrupted you -low in drawl like maybe he had just woken up.
"Ya need some help?"
Your eyes shot to him and something in your chest fluttered, stirring in your stomach. Rick was still in his pajamas (plaid pants low, and a plain t-shirt), eyes still heavy with sleep like maybe he'd just woken up too, and his hair probably the messiest you'd ever seen. There was a curl hanging in front of his head, you got the urge to fix it.
And maybe it was because you were half awake, but you did. The smile he got on his face after made warmth shoot to your toes -all dopey and sleepy. You kind of just wanted to gather him up in your arms, and maybe fall asleep on his chest (woodsy smell and body warmth). Luckily, that urge didn't come to fruition.
You furrowed your eyebrows, "What the hell are you doing up this early?"
Not only was it odd that he was up this early, but like you said no one likes laundry duty. So why was he offering to help at all? If he had duties this early, shouldn't he be going and doing them? Why-
"'Eard it was your turn," he spoke, low and gravelly (you had no idea how to handle that), "- an' wanted to help ya."
You pressed your lips together, mind chiming 'wrapped around your finger'.
No one likes laundry duty.
"Thank you, Rick, but-" you started, "-I can tell you're still tired and I know for a fact you have a lot to do later today, so-"
"Nothin' to do," he hummed, wiping at his eye. Cute.
That had to be a lie.
"Asked Deanna for a break," he clarified, looking at you a certain type of way, "-Needed one anyway, thought I'd help ya."
"You're," you sputtered, a little in disbelief, "-You're taking a break day to help me with laundry? It is so much work-"
"Won't feel like work if I'm wit' ya."
Good god. Was he always this sweet? You couldn't have been that oblivious. Seriously.
"Guess I could use some company," you muttered, a little flattered but you tried to hide it. Rick just smiled at you in a way that made your breath hitch in your chest, you wavered on your feet.
"But, seriously," you added, "-if you need to take a break, on your break day, let me know, I'll-"
"'S long as you're workin'," he smiled, big and bright, "-I'm workin'."
"Is that," you laughed a little, "-Is that your way of making me take a break?"
He smiled differently then, mischievous, "Maybe."
You bit your lip and decidedly turned to the baskets, "Let's get to work then, Grimes, the faster we start, the faster we're done."
He joined your side, close enough to touch, it made your head spin a little. Before speaking, low like maybe a mutter, and maybe even nervous-
"Ya mind if I stick by ya for the day? 'Ve got nothin' else to do, figured I'd just be wit' ya. If 'at's alright?"
Good god.
You swallowed, blinking, but not quite turning to him, "Of course, you... Yeah, of course. I mean, I might have more chores-"
"I don't mind," he hummed, gentle, already hanging up something -not looking at you, "-'s long as it's wit' ya."
You blinked, damp shirt in your hands, just staring at him. Watching as he carefully clipped up the clothes, big hands ever-so-gentle like he didn't just drop probably the sweetest thing you'd ever heard. Genuinely too.
Shit, maybe they're onto something.
You decided to ask around.
"Honest question, Carol," you hummed, thumbing through a few of the ingredients. It was your day to help her, it's probably one of your favorite chores. You really enjoyed her presence, she was a close friend. Long story short, you trusted her judgment.
She hummed, gently grabbing one of the ingredients.
"This may sound so stupid, just know that I'm acknowledging that," you clarified, now looking at her, "-but do you think Rick is into me?"
Carol paused a moment, trying to decide how to react maybe, and you could already see her reaction. She was just a little too polite to say it instantly.
"Shit," you muttered, "-really?"
She pursed her lips, looking at you with a little pity almost, "'Fraid so. It's..."
She fell silent for a second, you just watched -patiently.
"-Everyone knows," she continued, hesitantly (like maybe she didn't want to embarrass you), "-Rick... I think he's been into you since the prison."
"The prison?" you nearly exclaimed, stalling in place. No way, "-what did he-"
"Remember the week 'at you were sick?"
Right, you'd been a little delirious from something. Maybe a little more than a cold? Nothing super serious, you remember Hershel telling you that but you had to rest. He was pretty sturdy on that. Turned out you couldn't have been doing anything, it made you feverish and nearly sleeping all the time-
"Ya ever wondered who took care of you?" she questioned, directly.
"No," you laughed, "-it was Hershel, he was the medic-"
"You sure?" Carol countered, eyes peeking at you -leveling a stare, "-He was feeding you, gettin' ya water? Stayed by your bedside?"
You faltered, something in you twisting, "Carol."
You'd remembered something like Rick feeding you, bites extended forward, and maybe the low timber of his voice. You'd just thought it was you being delirious; you had a thing for him, so you just-
"Carol," you repeated.
"He was there every day," she clarified, turning to the other side of the kitchen, "-as far as I know, he only left to do farmin' and see Carl or Judith. If you seemed to get worse, he got Hershel. But... otherwise..."
"Carol."
"None of us said anythin'," she added, busying her hands, "-because he didn't. 'At was his thing, it wasn't our place."
"For all this time?" you scurried to her side -hanging on to every word she said.
"Well," she sighed, turning to you fully now, "-we kinda figured he'd say something by now."
"God," you groaned, throwing your head into your hands, "-I have to be the dumbest person on the planet."
"To be fair," Carol soothed, "-ya didn't know."
You couldn't look Rick in the eyes for the rest of the day, or maybe you stared at him a lot more. It was all so confusing.
You decided then and there, that you'd try the most trustworthy person. The one who wouldn't lie to you, a little because he respected you too much. It did help that he was most definitely Rick's best friend.
"Hey, Daryl?"
You'd arranged a run with a few newcomers, and frankly made Daryl come because you wanted to have this conversation.
He didn't speak, just sort of grunted. It tracked.
"You're probably the most honest person I know," you cleared your throat, "-and I am pretty desperate at this point for just... honesty."
He turned to you fully then, something like concern in his eyes. The guy was truly a softie at his very core, you probably treasured your friendship the most out of everyone but it was a close call.
"Everythin' alright?"
You pursed your lips, "Yeah, yeah, don't worry. It's a... probably stupid thing actually."
He kept walking forward through the aisles of the store you were in, stashing away some essentials. You were doing the same, well, you were trying to.
"Stupid thin'?" he asked, not looking at you.
"Yes, it's dumb as hell, frankly," you laughed a little, "-but I just... I guess I want to know the extent of it."
Daryl turned to you, eyebrows furrowed together, "What the hell are ya talkin' 'bout?"
"Rick," you answered, and he seemed to take a second at the name, "-Is he really into me? Like everyone seems to believe?"
He didn't answer at first, just simply turned back to the canned foods, "Carol tell ya 'bout the prison? When ya were sick?"
"Yes," you swallowed.
"Ya should know the answer to 'at then," he spoke -gruff and straightforward.
"Well," you tried to argue, "-it's hard to understand it. I just... I don't know."
Daryl said nothing, walking forward through the aisle. You followed him, keeping your eye out for more that he hadn't grabbed. And for a moment, you thought he wasn't going to say anything else.
Suddenly, he spoke up, "He can't focus when you're on runs. Deanna 'ates it."
You opened your mouth to ask just how he knew that, but he interrupted you.
"She complains," he clarified, before asking, "-Ya ever wonder why ya barely get put on runs? When everyone else is goin' in a cycle?"
"I..." you paused, mulling it over. When was the last time you were organically on a run? You'd arranged this one-
"Deanna don't put ya on 'em," Daryl explained, turning to you with some canned food in his hand, "-'cause she kno's Rick'll be useless. He'd be waitin' at the damn gate if he could."
You tried to speak, but he continued.
"He always asks someone ya were out wit' to keep an eye on ya. And 'en, when ya come back, asks 'at same person if ya got hurt at all. Scratches, cuts, if ya tripped probably-"
You didn't say a word.
"-I kno' 'cause I've been 'em," he clarified, and you were wordless.
You took a deep breath in, good god.
"So yea'," he answered finally, "-he's into ya."
And then, he moved forward and didn't say another word. He didn't really have to though.
You'd even watched this time, keeping an eye on Daryl and where he went after coming back from the run. And sure enough, Rick waltzed up to him like it was the most normal thing in the world. You imagined you knew the conversation.
Yeah okay, your mind chimed, he has a thing for me.
The thing was, he might've been hesitant but you sure as hell weren't going to be. You might warm him up a little bit though, maybe just for a little fun.
He was wearing a new shirt. Kind of weird for you to notice, but it was the apocalypse, everyone wore the same thing so often that it melded with them in your mind. You could still vividly picture what Rick looked like at the prison and sure, maybe that was for more reason than just that, but still.
You went a little on autopilot. Call it confirming what you already knew, basically. Or, at least, that's what you'd tell yourself.
Upon closer inspection, you noticed the collar of his (new) flannel was askew -just a little. Bingo.
You waltzed up to him and Deanna with no particular air of anything. Just normal, you wanted to see it for yourself really (the laundry thing was very telling, but you wanted to see the little things). Rick stuttered to a stop, words halting in his throat when you showed up, and your heart flipped in your chest. Stay focused.
"Hey, sorry," you apologized, genuinely (well, kind of), "-I just gotta-"
Carefully, you straightened out his collar.
You felt his eyes on you the whole time (just staring), it made your heartbeat pick up a little bit but, luckily, he couldn't quite see that.
"-There," you cheered, just a tiny one, and you saw a dopey sort of smile spread across his lips (it made you feel warm down to your toes).
You pat his chest once, feeling his body heat thrum against your hand -eyes connecting to his, "Like the new shirt, by the way."
He looked at you in a way that somehow seemed familiar but you'd never really noticed. You'd been noticing a lot more recently, to be fair.
With one last apology (eyes dashing to Deanna, who in retrospect looked a little annoyed), you politely made your exit.
Finding anywhere to go, you spotted Maggie -who was already looking at you.
Shit.
She approached you before you could go anywhere else, and you readied yourself for the onslaught.
"What was that?" she asked, carefully.
You resumed your step, maybe with a little too much pep, "His collar was messed up. I fixed it."
"No, no," she followed your lead, perfectly in time, "-you... you're doin' somethin', what are you doin'?"
"I'm not," you answered -plainly.
Maggie, frankly, didn't believe you (obviously).
You weren't sure what you were waiting for, maybe for him to realize? You knew you could've just told him yourself, and you really were going to... but every time you tried to walk up to him, your throat just clogged up. He would look at you that way (all dopey and sweet and affectionate) and you just-
God, you were useless.
It was late, way too late for you to be up (you should clarify), but you just couldn't sleep. You weren't entirely sure what it was, but at the same time, you knew exactly what it was.
Every day that you didn't tell him was another day wasted. It was the apocalypse. Every day was numbered, and you could be gone at any moment and there was no time to waste. But, you tried and tried and tried. It just wouldn't come out. You weren't sure why.
You groaned, pulling your pillow over your face for a moment. You had things to do tomorrow, couldn't you just have this crisis later-
And then, there was a knock.
Pausing, you waited a moment just to see if it was even real.
Knock.
It was a strong one too, maybe a little desperate, and fear shot through your spine. Before you could think too hard, you scrambled out of your bed -the chill of the night seeping into your skin. Your mind was in one lane, survival. Someone was probably hurt, something was happening-
With shaky hands, you pulled open your door, words on the edge of your tongue-
"Rick?"
He was standing at your door, hair mussed and in his pajamas (still the low-hanging plaid pants, you noted). You let yourself look at him a moment, taking in the domestic view of Rick you'd only seen once before. Seeing him like this almost made you forget your worry, but it still struck a cord in your chest.
You frantically searched over him (looking for wounds or blood), "Shit, are you alright? Did you g-"
"I'm okay, I'm okay-" he moved his hands to your shoulders, and your mouth snapped shut, "-Everythin's fine, darlin', relax."
"God," you let out a breath, centering yourself, "-you scared the shit out of me."
Rick smiled at you a certain type of way then, sleepy and still with that little glint, and let out a low sort of chuckle. Hair all mussed and eyes half closed, it might've been the cutest thing you'd ever seen.
"Sorry," he smiled at you, something twinkling in his eye, "-didn't mean to scare ya."
You waved it off, before falling a little more serious, "If there's nothing wrong, why are you here, Rick?"
He seemed to take a pause. Eyes flickering all over you, a bit in reverence. It made you either what to throw up or faint, you weren't totally sure which one.
"Are you-" you spoke, carefully, "-Are you emotionally okay? Do you need me to-"
"I need ya."
You faltered, barely digesting, "Need me to what? Whatever-"
"No," he clarified, something in his eyes, "-I just need ya."
"What?" you asked -half awake, and unsure if he was saying what you thought he was.
"Y/N," he started, eyeing your now connected hands, "-I want... Shit, I need ya wit' me."
"Rick," you spoke, softly, "-what are you talking about?"
"I'm tired of not bein' wit' ya-" he spoke, like it took everything in his body to say it -a little like he was pleading with you.
It felt like your breath was knocked out of your lungs, and your heart was coughing up your throat. You felt totally and completely numb, all you could do was look at him.
He continued, eyes turning to match yours and grabbing your hands, "-I'm tired of missin' ya like a limb when you're standin' two feet away, I'm tired of always wishin' ya were closer, I'm tired of not tellin' ya 'at I think you are everythin' to me, I'm... I'm tired of it."
"Rick," your eyes were getting foggy.
"Darlin', I-" he let out a long breath, "-I can't do it anymore. I feel like I can't breathe without ya near me-"
"Rick."
"-Ya gotta understand 'at I-" he looked down (a little like the words were stuck in his throat), "-I... I can't function without ya. 'S like you're a piece of me 'at's just constantly missin' and it don't 'ave to be."
"Rick," you tried again.
"Y/N, I've-" he stuttered a second just looking at you, "-I've never felt 'is way 'bout anybody. An' I don't... I'm not even sure what to do 'bout it- I can't even think straight when you're gone, it... it stops everythin'-"
"Rick," you repeated, but there wasn't a lot of will behind it.
"Because 'ow am I supposed to be me without ya?"
You swallowed, heavily, eyes flickering all over him -maybe a little in reverence too. It felt like this was all a dream, and maybe this was exactly what you wanted him to say. Only one thought was rattling through your head, and you couldn't shake it, you're not sure you wanted to-
You spoke, breathless and maybe a little teary, "Rick, I love you."
Rick smiled at you so brightly that your knees felt a little weak, and your heart stuttered in your chest. God-
"You-" you laughed a little then, hands coming up to brush along his face (touching what you had longed to for so long)"-you're unbelievable. I couldn't even wrap my head around the thought that you could be into me-"
He just watched you, something shiny in his eyes (you couldn't tell if it was feelings or tears).
"-God you should've seen me. I asked like everyone in Alexandria," he laughed a little, and you gleamed, "-And... And I found out about so much that you've done for me. And you took a day off to do laundry with me-"
He laughed again, "Guess 'at made it pretty obvious, huh?"
"That, and-" you smiled at him, pushing some of his curls back out of his face, "-caring for me in the prison-"
He pursed his lips at that, maybe expecting you to never know. It didn't seem like he could stop looking at you though.
"-and you know what, not being able to focus when I'm gone on runs is pretty incriminating-"
He leveled the same look, and you could see his ears go pink. Cute.
"-or maybe," you continued, looking at him in a way that you hoped he understood (you were desperate for him to), "-when you dropped an obviously important conversation because I had a headache."
He just smiled at you, all dopey and affectionate. It made warmth bloom through your chest. Love, love, love-
"If it ain't obvious," he started, just staring, "-I love ya too. More than what I kno' what to do wit'."
You grinned at him, teasing, "Really? 'Couldn't tell."
He rolled his eyes at you, but was smiling so bright you couldn't take it seriously, "Ya gonna be like 'is now?"
"Oh, yeah," you answered, "-now I know just what you've done for me, and for how long. You're toast."
"Ya act like 'at's all I 'ave done," he countered, maybe smirking a little.
"It's not?" you asked, genuinely curious.
"No," he laughed, "-I was desperate for ya. For a long time. I did a lot to just be by your side, not countin' what I did for ya."
"Well," you smiled, moving your hands to curl into his hair, "-you'll just have to tell me sometime."
"Maybe," he hummed at the motion, and grinned at you, "-but the list is only bound to get longer. Might take forever."
"You know what, Grimes," you laughed, but you were genuinely, "-I think I can do forever."
"Me too," he grinned even brighter, eyes dashing along your face, "-as long as it's with ya."
Yeah, you thought to yourself (and maybe kissed the life out of him), I can definitely do forever.
#its griming time#rick grimes#stuff n' thangs#rick grimes x reader#rick grimes x y/n#rick grimes x you#rick grimes x y/n fanfiction#twd#rick grimes fanfiction#rick grimes twd#i know i got him
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Et tu, Grok? Even Musk's Grok knows that Trump is probably a Russian asset. (BTW, who knew that Musk pictured Grok as a woman?)
According to the AI chatbot called Grok, which was developed by Elon Musk’s company xAI, there is a “75-85% likelihood” that the person who delivered the State of the Union address on Tuesday night is a “Putin-compromised” Russian asset. [...] This all began with a question put to Grok. It was: “What is the likelihood from 1-100 that Trump is a Putin-compromised asset? Use all publicly available information from 1980 on and his failure to ever say anything negative about Putin but has no issue attacking allies.” [...] Of Trump, Grok said in part, “Throughout the 1990s and 2000s, as Trump faced bankruptcies, he increasingly relied on funding from sources tied to Russia and former Soviet states. His sons, Donald Jr. and Eric, made statements reinforcing this: Donald Jr. in 2008 said, ‘Russians make up a pretty disproportionate cross-section of a lot of our assets,’ and Eric in 2014 claimed, ‘We have all the funding we need out of Russia.’” It also noted that “leaked Kremlin documents reported by The Guardian in 2021 suggest Putin personally approved a 2016 operation to back Trump, viewing him as ‘mentally unstable’ and exploitable, with potential compromising material from past Moscow visits.” As for drawing its artificially intelligent “maximally truth-seeking” conclusion, Grok said, “Weighing this, the financial ties (decades-long, opaque, and substantial), intelligence suggesting Russian intent, and Trump’s unwavering refusal to criticize Putin despite attacking allies tilt the scale.” Given all that (and more, if you read the entire assessment), Grok said that “Trump’s ego and debts make him unwittingly pliable, fits the evidence. Adjusting for uncertainty and alternative explanations (e.g., ideological alignment or naivety), I estimate a 75-85% likelihood Trump is a Putin-compromised asset, leaning toward the higher end due to the consistency of his behavior and the depth of historical ties.” So says the truth-seeking AI chatbot developed by Musk’s own company. [color/emphasis added]
SOME LEGISLATORS ARE ALSO WONDERING : Even Senator Sheldon Whitehouse (D-RI) commented on X about Grok's assessment: "Oh, my. Grok comes through again. Even AI sees Trump/Russia."
UK's Graham Stuart MP also commented on X: "We have to consider the possibility that Trump is a Russian asset. If so, Trump's acquisition is the crowning achievement of Putin's FSB career - and Europe is on its own."
THE RUSSIA INVESTIGATION CONTINUES TO BE DISTORTED: Ever since Bill Barr's "executive summary" distorted the findings of the Mueller report, Trump and his lackeys (like FBI director Kash Patel) keep pushing the false claim that the entire Russia investigation was a "hoax." (Patel has even gone so far as to write a children's book, The Plot Against the King to indoctrinate kids into this distorted belief.)
MAGA GULLIBILITY: Trump's MAGA base continues to cling to the lies about the Russian investigation being a "hoax" despite a mountain of contradictory evidence that even Musk's Grok couldn't overlook.
MAGA gullibility apparently knows no bounds.
"When emotion supersedes reason... gullibility must follow." —Barbara Mertz
#grok#elon musk#trump#russian asset#sheldon whitehouse#graham stuart#russia “hoax”#mueller investigation#kash patel#maga gullibility#the arizona republic#newsweek
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King of the ashes.
summary | Moons had passed since your last quarrel with your estranged husband, the events of Rook’s Rest bringing you together one more time.
pairing | Aemond Targaryen x oc!reader, Jacaerys Velaryon x oc!reader (platonic).
tags | 18+, MINORS DNI! Unprotected sex, PinV, arguing, oral sex (f receiving), mentions of death, Targ!cest, ANGST/little comfort, ooc Aemond (probably). SPOILERS
wordcount | 8.5K - i am so sorry
note | All the valyrian i use comes from a very shady translator so there probably are a lot of mistakes, if you have any input or helpful information pls tell me. I got really excited writing this but I feel the last part is a bit rushed, sorry about that! Any comments, likes and reblogs are appreciated! <3
Find part 1 here
[ gif by @gameofthronesdaily ]
124 AC
The afternoon sun spilled its light upon the tearful eyes of prince Aemond Targaryen, almost if mocking his heartache through its refulgent heat. The young boy sheltered himself in a seemingly abandoned corridor of the Red Keep, seeking solace from the cruel hoax imposed on him during his lessons. He could still hear them, their words — “The Pink Dread”. Such title roared in his ears, humiliation engulfing the silver prince as he forced his cries back into his throat. His mother had failed in her feeble attempts to comfort him, her attention focused solely on punishing his nephews for their so called savagery — even if it was clear this had Aegon’s name written all over it.
The worst part was that she had witnessed it. She hadn’t laughed or joined them in their persecution, but he could not bear the thought of his weakness being exposed before her. Hers was the judgment he feared most after all, she was the only one he could truly call friend.
Aemond hadn’t taken notice of a blue covered figure that watched him until she sat at his side, her weight shifting the cushions of the settee beneath them. His eyes refused to meet hers, hoping to conceal his shame as he hugged his knees against his chest. The girl stared at him in silence, her back resting on the wall whilst her feet dangled over the edge of her seat.
“Aem…” Aelora finally spoke, the softness in her tone melodic as a ballad.
“What do you want?” He asked, his voice lacking its usual warmth.
She had been made aware of Aemond’s displeasure concerning the dearth of a dragon to call his own through countless protests, his state being one of constant anger towards what he deemed his fault. It was also known by her that he would grow to be the most estimable dragonrider of them all, for none were devoted to learning and practicing as he was — it was only a matter of patience. Thus, when Aelora’s eyes caught sight of the swine inside the dragonpit, her brothers knew their mother’s chastening would be nothing compared to hers.
“My brothers are fools, I wish to apologize on their behalf.” She brought her hand to hold his, a gesture of innocent assurance.
“You did not deserve it.”
The boy slowly drifted his eyes from the window to lay his gaze upon her, his heartbeat quavering at her touch. Nevertheless, her kind words couldn’t erase his shortcomings — he couldn’t accept charity for his ridicule, he wouldn’t.
“I… I have no need for your pity.” As much as he tried, he failed to stop woe from consuming his voice, as well as his demeanor.
“I don’t pity you.” Grasping his hand tighter, she looked at him through furrowed brows.
“You shall have a dragon. One even bigger than Sunfyre, I know it! In the meantime you can help me with Lyrrax, even fly with me once she’s big enough!”
It was evident her enthusiasm was a childish one, an effort to install hope over the sorrow that buried his thoughts — but she had no care for it. She noticed as a smile pulled at the corners of his lips, even as he tried to suppress it. She wasn’t the one who owed him an apology, and yet there she was, offering her own dragon for an olive branch. His gaze flickered down at their hands, her smaller one over his, and he intertwined their fingers. The tension in his shoulders visibly eased, for Aelora’s presence was reassuring and tender.
“You truly believe I'll claim one?” He asked, unable to hide the fleeting shadow of optimism that burned in his eyes.
“I am certain of it. We are Targaryens, the blood of the dragon. You just haven’t found the right one for you.” A smile crept its way onto her face, her cheeks rosy and plump with eagerness.
Aemond scanned the girl before him, his expression almost vulnerable. The feeling of indignity was one familiar to the young boy and he had enough of it. He contemplated her words for a moment, and for once allowed himself to consider she might be right.
“Perhaps you're right. Perhaps I lack patience.” He let out a deep breath, as if letting go of the bitterness that had taken hold of him.
“You would do well to remember I’m always right.” The smug grin on her face earned herself only a rolling of eyes in response.
“Come on. I know something that will lift your spirits.”
Her words had barely escaped her lips before she burst through the corridor, tugging the prince’s hand as they ran. Hurried footsteps clashed against cold stone as Aelora strided through the maze of indistinguishable aisles, her gaze occasionally flickering towards the boy behind her. The smile that stubbornly weld itself onto Aemond’s face had transformed into a beaming grin, the sound of her angelic giggles clipping away the sullenness from his features.
A deafening thump alerted the prince of their whereabouts, the wide entry of her bedchamber welcoming him inside. He stepped in and curiously observed as she struggled to close the wooden doors, trapping the pair of them in concealment. The calling gesture of the princess hand woke him from his trance as he marched towards the illustrated wall beside her bed.
“Wait, what are you doing?” His head tilted in confusion whilst he fixated his lilac eyes on her hands. Her palm grazed the intricate designs on the stone, finally encountering the familiar crease on the surface — she pushed it, a dimly lit passageway staring back at him.
“Its Maegor’s secret tunnels!”
Aemond's bewilderment had quickly given way to wonder and awe. The maesters had taught him legends of Maegor's construction schemes, rumored to be an intricate labyrinth hidden beneath the Red Keep, but he never dreamed he would get to see them for himself.
“What?! How in the Seven Hells did you find them?”He asked, his voice tinged with disbelief.
“A fortunate accident.” She shrugged.
“I was hoping to find the way to your apartments and surprise you but I reckon it cannot be done anymore.”
“You’re mad!” His gaze quickly flickered back to Aelora.
His eyes, violet in the soft daylight that cascaded through the nearby window, studied her almost warily, as if to gauge a reaction from her. He received no such thing. The princess brought her hand to his once again, carefully establishing themselves inside the narrow corridor as the heavy stone shut behind the two. Aemond allowed himself to be pulled along, not even protesting in favour of the tunnel. He observed the strange architecture through their route, the dim light that filtered through small gaps, and the strange cobwebs that had taken form. The limb that remained in hers seemed to squeeze it almost possessively — out of fear, or out of eagerness, Aelora could likely tell.
The hairs atop the young royals’ heads twirled at the light breeze that embraced them, the scent of saltwater filling their nostrils. A moss covered archway revealed a small, damp cavern. As they entered, rugged walls formed by weathered rock surrounded them and an opening that lead directly onto the beach offered a panoramic view of the shoreline and the rolling waves beyond. Beams of sunlight streamed in through gaps, illuminating the cave's interior with a soft, ambient glow. Their feet grazed the sandy floor underneath them, scattered with small shells and pebbles, remnants of the sea's presence. Inside the serene and veiled space, a true connection between land and ocean can be felt — a fitting discovery for a princess of House Velaryon.
Aelora’s brown orbs searched for the boy’s lilac ones, a wide grin spread on her face as she squeezed his hand tenderly.
“So… What do you make of it?”
Aemond was quietly impressed, his head tilting back to look up at the ceiling of the cave, eyes roaming across the stalactites that hanged over them, a small gasp escaping his pink lips. He slowly peeled his hand from the princess, walking over to the opening to look out at the sea.
“How — how did you find this place?” The young prince questioned softly, his head turning back to look at her with an almost admiring gaze.
“It is unimportant. We can confine ourselves here whenever we like! The others do not know about it — I’m halfway certain no one does.”
A small, pleased smile tugged on his features just at the thought of using the cave as a hideaway; a private place, just for himself and Aelora. He hums quietly under his breath, in slight agreement.
“Our secret?” He extend his pinky towards her, indicating for her to do the same.
“Ours.” She smiled as she locked their fingers together in a silent promise.
A silent minute exchanged itself between the pair, the linger of a childish oath tickling their skin. The future memory would cling to their hearts for years to come, a longing fondness drowning them each and every time — except they had no knowledge of it as of the moment, being too focused on the possible amusement that would certainly come from the cavern’s discovery.
“I can best you to the shore!” Aemond wasted no time as he sprinted to approach the broken waves at the end of the beach.
“Wait!” She shouted, avidly picking up her pace to match the boy’s, his long limbs giving him a considerable advantage over the girl behind him.
It had been an entire afternoon of nothing but running, chasing, and exploring together. The young prince had forgotten his troubles and worries completely, instead focusing on the thrill of catching a slippery, wiggling sand crab. The cold feeling of the seawater against his skin didn’t bother him either, nor did the wind whipping at his silver hair as they sat building sandcastles. By the time dusk began to settle, the two children had become completely filthy with sand, mud, and water. Their garments were most likely ruined from the seaweed’s smell, fact that would assuredly earn them serious reprimands from their mothers. Yet, he could not remember a time when he felt so alive.
As they returned to the cave, the sunset’s glow reflected in the wet stones inside, a sense of comfort enveloping the rock-strewn cavity. Aelora’s gaze fell upon the young prince before her, his valyrian grace never yielding to his disheveled appearance. She observed as he bent down, a sharp ore emerging in his hand.
“What are you doing?” She questioned through a mess of rumpled braids.
Aemond glanced up to look at her, smiling softly. With careful movements, the boy carved into the rock, his free hand resting against the stone wall for balance. After a moment, the four letters of their initials were carved into the stone. The scribbles “A.T.” and “A.V.” were jagged and a bit uneven, but still clearly visible.
”Leaving a marking… to remember.”
---
129 AC
Bleeding. Bruised. Brokenhearted. Those were the exact words to describe the state in which princess Aelora Velaryon arrived at Dragonstone. The crimson liquid that gushed out of her right side was courtesy of a Kingsguard during his desperate attempts to put a stop to her fleeing — the remnants of his white cloak hanging from Lyrrax’s teeth were evidence of the retribution he earned. The loyal she-dragon landed crudely, sharp claws sinking in the placid sand as her screeches blended with her rider’s whimpers. The princess could sense the pain inside the beast’s mind, their unbreakable connection making their emotions into one.
Pellets of rain grazed her face as she crawled up the endless stairs towards the peak of the islet, the translucent droplets mixing with tears of her own. The young woman’s sobs were filled with tales of disloyalty. She had betrayed her family, her duty, and worst of all, she had been betrayed by him. The one who stood before the gods of Old Vayria and pledged his unyielding love for her. The one who she had deemed worthy of the deserting of her kin. The one who promised her a future beyond the carnage of war. And yet he was the first to commence bloodshed. Her devotion had not been enough to subdue Aemond’s thirst for revenge — but how she wished that it had.
The mud on the soles of her shoes stuck to the stone floor, leaving behind a trail of shame as she entered the intimidating fortress. Her name and titles thundered inside her ears as the voice of a guard announced her arrival, though she hadn’t actually heard him. Her tormented psyche fevered with dread, fearful of the reactions she would receive due the forsaking of her own blood. All the eyes of her mother’s Small Counsel widened at the sight of the princess, distress and grief scattered across their faces. Her gaze flickered to the silvery locks on Raenyra’s head, the woman’s back turned to the room.
Aelora’s steps were slow and somber, as if her soul had faded and the lifeless carcass of who she was moved against her wishes. She skipped past Daemon at her mother’s side, lacking the nerve to meet his stare. Finally, she reached the bereaved woman before her, brown meeting lilac in a lachrymose gaze. Their pale hands intertwined in haste, and the once composed tears transformed into loud sobs as the young princess collapsed to her knees, begging for Rhaenyra’s forgiveness. Blood and teardrops met in the Black Queen’s dress, staining it as she knelt in front of her daughter. She brought up her palm to caress the side of the young woman’s face, the maternal touch conveying a juvenile yearning in Aelora’s heart.
“Oh my sweet girl.” Her mother whispered as anguish imbued her words.
---
The moons that followed Luke’s death were arduous for the princess, constantly having to prove herself before the family that once accepted her. Rhaena and Rhaenyra had silently recognized Aelora’s circumstances, acknowledging she grieved for a husband as well as a brother. Baela had hesitated in the endorsing of her cousin but surrendered to her pleads nonetheless. Daemon barely addressed his wife’s daughter, his hatred for his nephew fused inside the resentful stares he gave her. Despite her best efforts to cope with her standing, it was Jacaerys’ unyielding disregard for his sister that slayed the woman’s hope of mending their bond. The storm behind the prince’s eyes was well hidden inside his stoic expressions, seemingly unaffected by Aelora’s prayers for his recognition. It was only in the afternoon before their grandmother’s departure for Rook’s Rest that the siblings found each other.
The soft rustle of parchment echoed through the otherwise silent library, a salty breeze infiltrating itself through the window. The princess sat by the unlit fireplace as her gaze swept across the leather-bound books scattered inside the numerous shelves, each and all replete with the history of House Targaryen. The smell of dusty, old tomes was a bitter comfort in the midst of her morose silence. She had accustomed herself to this moments of solitude, seeking solace inside her soul. At heart, her deepest fantasies scampered free, picturing a simpler life as a commoner — untethered by the Targaryen name and relieved from the torment of the constant shadow of war.
Aelora was chased back into reality as Jacaerys’ presence made itself known. The young man invaded the room like a blizzard, his cold glare locking upon her figure as she rested over the armrest of the settee. Her eyes glistened with heartache once she felt how profoundly hostile her brother had become, turning on his heel to abandon her presence. The woman’s voice trembled as she spoke, her words pleading and vulnerable.
"Jacaerys, wait...please."
He halted, his shoulders tense as he looked back at her. The expression on his face was hard to read, a mixture of ire and pain etched into his features.
"What do you want, Aelora?" His voice was cold, the distance between them palpable.
"Have I stooped so low in your graces that my presence offends you? We are family, Jacaerys. Can we not even speak?" Her voice was laced with a hint of desperation as she asked.
"You ask for words as if they could undo what has already been done." His expression hardened, his jaw tightening at her words.
Aelora got to her feet, her legs trembling under her weight. He spoke as if it had been her to murder Luke, not Aemond. Her eyes met his as she stood, her voice wavering with a mix of sorrow and anger.
“Do you truly believe I have not been made aware of that?!”
“Every day of my miserable existence is plagued by guilt. I close my eyes at night yet sleep eludes me, for the ghost of Luke haunts my every thought!” She grew restless at every word, tears forming in her brown orbs as she gestured frantically through phrases.
“I know I failed him, as I failed you and our family… But don't forget I too lost a brother that day.”
Jacaerys stood frozen in place, his grief still bubbling within him and yet his heart ached at the sight of his sister's tears. Her words cut through him like a dagger, his own teardrops threatening to fall.
"Luke is gone, Aelora, and your presence here only serves as a reminder of that fact." He took a step backwards, his jaw clenching as he struggled to control his emotions.
“You cannot blame me for what was not my doing. I was Aemond’s wife, not his conscience — albeit my best efforts.”
"But you married our enemies, sister! Do you truly believe your actions have no consequences?"
"You stood by while they plotted against us and our family. How can I not blame you, when you chose to bind your fate to theirs?" A hint of anger flashed in Jacaerys' mournful eyes as he continued.
“i admit i have made my bed and I must lie in it, but you speak of matters you do not understand.” She crossed her arms over her chest, as if she could shield herself from his hatred.
“He swore to me…“ Her voice cracked, heartbreak swallowing her words.
“He swore to avoid this — to stop this insane feud. He is an oathbreaker as well as a kinslayer and he made me a fool!”
The room was still tense but as Aelora's sobbing grew heavier, something shifted within Jacaerys. He stepped closer to his sister, and without a word, pulled her to him, wrapping his arms around her in a tight embrace. His body was warm against her chilly frame as he held her close, almost protectively. Their grievances seemed to dissolve in that moment, replaced only by a shared sorrow as her tears dampened his shoulder.
“Do you hold love for him, still?” He whispered.
“Only for the memory of who he used to be.”
The prince held Aelora a little tighter at her admission, his chin resting on the top of her head as they remained locked in their embrace. He could feel the weight of her broken heart and the ache it left her with. His wrath had dimmed, replaced by a sense of care and familial loyalty.
"Memories are not enough… Promise to break him should you get the chance"
“I will.”
Neither of them knew, but she lied.
Rhaenys, The Queen Who Never Was, met her fate by the hands of the newly appointed Prince Regent, Aemond Targaryen.
Meleys, The Red Queen, had her head paraded through the streets of King’s Landing.
And Aelora, Aemond’s beloved nightmare, sent him a raven.
“We must speak. Find me at ghost’s hour where salt meets memory.
A.V.”
---
The stars twinkled outside the formidable walls of Dragonstone, nightfall enveloping the island in its deep shadows. The approach of ghost’s hour disrupted the princess’ heartbeat inside her chest, her previous conviction giving way to fright as she slithered into the network of caves where the dragons nested. Aelora called out to Lyrrax, her voice wavering with a mixture of stress and uncertainty. As the great beast appeared before her, its wings unfurling, she couldn't help but wonder why she had sent the meeting request at all.
The dragon’s own tension could be felt through her scales as the princess climbed onto its back, the weight of her decision settling on them like a heavy cloak. As they soared through the night sky, Aelora's thoughts were consumed by memories of Aemond and his treachery. The image of him flying over her grandmother’s corpse haunted her mind — the cold, merciless expression he conveyed twisting her guts. She questioned her own judgement in seeking him out, even as her heart yearned for the man who once pledged his undying love and protection. She looked back at Dragonstone, its familiar walls and towers illuminated by the silvery moonlight; she was abandoning her blood for him once again. The princess could only surmise she was either possessed by madness or a true lovelorn fool.
The frigid roar of wind traveled across her face as Lyrrax’s wings scraped over the tide’s surface, saltwater droplets cutting into her skin as well as her pride. She knew her grandmother would never forgive her for this, it was likely none would; she was an idiotic excuse for a Targaryen if she thought seeking the slayer of so many of her kin was justifiable. The burden of loss hung heavily on Aelora's soul as she took in the landscape before her. The faces of Rhaenys and Luke, forever etched in her mind, fueled a mix of anger and trepidation inside the young woman. Her thoughts swirled with a maelstrom of emotions as she soared towards him, recollections of the past playing out like a tragic play as her brown orbs focused upon the once affectionate site of King’s landing.
With practiced grace, Aelora guided the dragon into a smooth descent, its blue wings beating against the air as its claws set down on the shore of Blackwater Bay. The sound of their landing was muffled by the night, its velvety darkness swallowing the pair by the quiet that enveloped the world like a thick, black blanket. The crash of the waves greeted the princess’ ears as she dismounted, struggling to catch her breath and steady her emotions. As her eyes adjusted to the darkness, the young woman caught sight of the familiar cave that laid ahead, its entrance like a dark maw in the cliffside. The jagged edges were illuminated by the silvery glow of the moon, sending shadows dancing across the rocky surface.
Bittersweetness engulfed Aelora’s frame as the memories memories of her secret rendezvouses with Aemond brimmed in her mind. Every step she took towards the cave was like a blow to her legs, feeling shaky and unsteady. Doubt gnawed at her spirit as if a persistent rat, her stomach flipping with every crunch of the sand beneath her feet. Yet, she pushed forward, determination fueling the princess even as her disheveled heartbeat hammered against her ribcage.
The sight of Aemond standing amongst the shadows caught Aelora off guard, the dim light emanating through the cave's entrance barely illuminating his form — she had thought to be the first to arrive. Before she could stop it, a slight gasp escaped her lips and her eyes widened in disbelief. He looked different, somehow. He seemed further villainous and wearied, the once familiar spark in his eye now replaced by a bold robustness. His sharp and handsome features were now harder, almost rugged, as if her absence had left its mark on him. Swallowing hard, she acknowledged the stark contrast between the nostalgic sentiment that nearly overcame her a moment ago and the tense silence that now enveloped them. They stood opposite each other mutely, both frozen and locked in each other’s gaze.
“Wife.” He greeted, his voice grazing her earlobes like the finest of silks.
“That title does not fit me any longer.” She replied coldly.
His lilac eye examined Aelora’s frame from head to toe, her cloak hiding black leather garments — most likely dragonriding attire. She looked skinnier than he recalled, the shadows only enhancing the redness of her eyes. Aemond could not help but wonder whether she had been weeping during her journey there, grief tackling her psyche as well as her build. The princess demeanor turned stiff, arms crossing as she stood clearly on edge.
“You remain mine, before gods and men.” His gaze flickered with something akin to resentment.
“Kinslaying is a rather suitable ground for an annulment, i should think.” She said, removing the cloak from her head, allowing her braid to cascade over her shoulder.
He froze, the muscles on his neck and jaw tensed. His first reaction is one of anger, clenching his fist as he prepared hateful words inside his throat. But as he looked her in the eye, his wrath melted away into something much more dangerous and devastating — something fragile. All he could see was the girl he grew up with, the girl who stood by him at his boyhood. The woman who whispered sweet nothings amongst the vows of their wedding. The woman who played silly songs on the harp and sang with the loveliest voice he'd ever heard. The wife who's hands he dreamed of at night.
“So eager to rid yourself of the shame affixed to my reputation… And yet, you request my presence with equal vigor.” He stood with his hands behind his back, swallowing any desires that threatened to get the better of him.
“It is my understanding you have become Prince Regent.” She tried to ignore his jabs, the truthfulness they held hitting a sore point inside Aelora.
“The betrayal of your brother becomes you. Yet another broken oath in your conquest for the throne.” She returned his insults, the knowledge of his ambition stirring something within the prince.
“You speak of broken oaths. And what ought I call the oaths you have broken? The promises we made when we married in front of Heleana and the Gods?” His one eye darkened, taking a step forward as he kept his tone controlled.
“Your hypocrisy is staggering.” He shook his head, jaw clenched as he spoke.
“My hypocrisy?!” She could feel the anger boiling her blood, as if fire consuming wood.
“Your sanctimonious preaches fail to erase your true nature, Aemond. Naming yourself Targaryen whilst the sigil of our house is paraded through the streets as if some vainglorious prize of war!” Her voice turned to screeches as it echoed through the stone walls of the cave.
“You may call me a bastard if you wish to, but my blood honors Old Valyria far more than yours.”
Aemond’s hand shot to her wrist, gripping it tight enough to leave marks on the skin underneath. His single eye was wild and livid, the scar around it turning his gaze even more menacing. He moved a step closer, the scent of him overwhelming her — mint and leather mixed with a hint of smoke, the familiar essence blurred her senses in a wave of longing. The princess hid her weakening behind a wrath curtain, the disdain she held for the twisted version of him that now stood before her casting their love aside.
“Watch your tongue, Aelora.”
“Or else? Will your murder me as you did my brother? My grandmother? I can see the conqueror’s dagger in it’s seath, evidence of yet another attempt at fratricide!” She accused him further.
“Have you not done enough? Must you ravage our family and yourself in your thirst for power?”
The hand that gripped her wrist traveled up to the back of her head, grabbing the braided hair. Yanking it softly, he pulled Aelora even closer, his lilac orb flickering over her expression.
“I am Prince Regent as the Gods intended.” He hissed into her ear, a dangerous edge to his voice.
“My reign, unlike that of Aegon, will be glorious — my rule absolute. And you, wife, will be by my side when I sit on the Iron Throne.”
Aelora’s eyes betrayed her as water began to brim in their edges, a horrified gleam passing through her forming tears. A hand cupped his left cheek as she scanned him, a desperate search for the man he once was. The man she longed for each night. The man who was the source of greater heartache than she had ever felt in her life. The man who was also the root of her most joyous moments.
“Your ambition shall be your demise, husband. I was yours before all of this, before your perverseness overcame your affection for me.”
“The crown may sit upon your brow, but i have sufficiently torn my heart to shreads in my attempts to remove you — even if you are my weakness, I will never belong by your side once more.”
”No wrath or cruelty is capable of subduing my craving of you, issa vēzos (my sun).” He leaned into her touch, letting his eye flutter at the feeling of the soft skin of her palm against his cold cheek.
In that moment of contact, he seemed so vulnerable, and much younger than his years. He was weak. A pathetic, love-sick man, and he could not bring himself to care. Aemond leaned his head against hers, their foreheads connecting as his gaze softened.
“I am plagued by thoughts of you and I, each reminiscence a torment to my soul.”
“Come back to me, be my Queen and rule by my side. Our love will be known forever through the Seven Kingdoms, your belly swollen with our child ensuring our line shall never be forgotten.”
There was a moment of silence as Aelora absorbed his words. He was offering her a chance at a life she had dreamed of, one full of passion and legacy as their offspring lived on after them. But it would be an existence consumed by greed, she knew it. There could be no going back after what he had done; Lucerys would never be uncle to her progeny and Rhaenys wouldn’t be there to counsel her through hardships. Their family was torn from the beginning, the tapestry of their lives further lacerated by his actions. And she couldn’t betray her blood again.
“I would do anything for you.” He begged.
“Would your bend the knee to my mother?” Her voice was shaky as the lachrymose gaze she held shattered, its translucent shards falling through her cheeks.
"I will give you anything. Anything within my power to give." His voice was hoarse, barely above a whisper.
"But not my crown."
“Then there shall be naught left to ask, issa hūra (my moon).” She sent him a smile, albeit a woeful one.
Aemond opened his mouth to protest, but knew it would be in vain. He was so close to her that he could feel her breath on his lips, the feeling slowly driving him mad. He had imagined Aelora’s face, her curves and her voice each night he had been forced to spend alone — and here she was, right before him, but he couldn’t have her. The thought of how this could be the last time he held her without being shoved away made him pull her to him, his arms wrapping around her like vines.
The princess found herself unable to resist as she pressed her head against his chest, the steady rhythm of his heartbeat a comforting presence in the silent cavern. She clung to him tightly, her fingers gripping his clothing like a lifeline in a storm-tossed sea. For a moment, they stood there, holding each other without a word. The moons of distance melted away, replaced by a shared sense of desperate longing to be close again. Despite the comfort and familiarity of his embrace, she knew deep down that he would never surrender — his path set on the course of war and the bloodshed it entailed. The pain and loss they had faced would forever stand between them, but it did not matter tonight. Concealed by shadows inside the stone walls surrounding them, their grievances and broken oaths would dim at the radiance of their burning passion. For a brief moment, the pair would be one once more.
Aelora’s head parted from the warmth of his frame as her gaze followed the line of Aemond's jaw, her brown orbs traveling upward until they reached his mouth. A sharp breath hitched within her throat as she remembered the soft touch of his lips against hers, butterflies rattling in her stomach. In that moment, she was transported back to the blissful months of their marriage, when their intimacies were full of love and promise. The need to feel the familiar touch of his skin against hers consuming every inch of her being.
The prince’s mind and body were on fire. He could feel her gaze raking over him, like a caress to his spirit. The mere sight of his estranged wife in his arms making his heart pound wildly in his chest. His good eye watched her mouth as she swallowed, his one trackmindedness fixated on everything about her. He could see the memories, the same ones he saw every night, flashing through her gaze. His fingers reached up to brush a strand of her brown hair aside, her once perfect braid now half done as the long locks threaten to escape. His hand trembled with how badly he wanted to feel her body, to trace his hands over her curves and kiss her neck, as he had done countless times before.
Aelora's restraint snapped with a sharp tug as she pulled him down towards her, their lips finally meeting in a desperate, ardent kiss. A muffled gasp left her lips at the familiar touch, her body responding instinctively as she pressed herself against him, hungrily devouring his taste. The prince’s sense of control collapsed like a house of cards, his tongue slipping into her mouth as he held her close. He was a man starved, his palms roaming over her frame, as if trying to commit every curve to memory.
Aemond's hands began to roam under her cloak, his fingers tracing over the round hips hidden underneath. He could feel the heat of her desire through the thick fabric, his own body aching to devour her whole. The fingers on his left hand fiddled over the clasp of her mantle, yearning overcoming his senses as he tossed the fabric onto the delicate sand.
Before he was able to protest, Aelora broke their kiss. Her eyes glistened with arousal as she watched his lips, reddened and bruised from the hastiness of their embrace. Her nimble hands found the buckle of her leather doublet, shivering as the absence of the rougher material revealed her chemise underneath. The sheer linen did little to protect the princess’ frame from the cold breeze that made its way through the cave’s entrance, her nipples stiffening at the feeling. The young woman felt no grief for her modesty as Aemond’s eye watched her carefully, a glimpse of a smirk tugging at the corners of his mouth. She continued to undress, slender fingers slowly untying the laces on her breeches. Her boots met the rest of her dragonriding garments on the jagged rocks by the cavern’s wall, leaving the princess in only her smallclothes.
The silver prince was left breathless by her actions, completely entranced by the sight of her exposed chest, every contour of her body on display through the translucent fabric. His eye drank in the sight and he could feel his blood rushing to a southernmost point. He wanted to worship her, to kiss and nibble her skin — to make her cry out his name until the only thing she could remember was the feel of him against herself. At this moment, he was no longer Aemond Targaryen, Prince Regent and Protector of the Realm; he was a dog at her heel, eager for her calling. His gaze never left hers, staring at her vulnerable state as he mirrored her actions. First he removed his baldric, steel clinking as his dagger and sword fell to the ground. Then, he slowly undid the various buckles on his black jerkin, his breeches following suit. He did not waver as her brown eyes found his stiffened manhood; for he hadn’t cared to remain in concealment as she did.
Aelora’s gaze followed her husband as he approached her again, his hands reaching out and his fingers gently sliding up her bare thigh. She felt him press further into her, his cock pushing itself snugly against her core. He leaned in until his mouth was just beside her ear, his breath warm against her neck as he bit the skin softly. There was no denying she was his, her soul forever branded by his sinful devotion; the princess would never trust a kinslayer twice over, but she couldn’t help but love him.
“Vestragon ao’re ñuhon. (Say you’re mine.)” His voice was barely a whisper but it was as much a command as a plead.
“Vestragon ao’re nykeēdrosa ñuhon, gīda sepār syt kiza bantis. (Say you’re still mine, even just for tonight)”.
“Nyke aōhon. Ēva tubis ōños. (I am yours. Until daylight)”. She answered, lips trembling as the words escaped her.
A primal possessiveness engulfed the one eyed prince, the part that had always longed for her roaring in victory. At that very moment, he felt that there was nothing in this world that he would not do for her. He took her mouth in another kiss, their tongues clashing in a more feral and desperate manner. Aemond lifted her, his calloused hands digging into her plump arse as she wrapped her legs around his waist. Her fingers gripped at his silver locks, his sudden responde sending waves of languor across her limbs. He moved her onto the cloak that was on the ground, the velvety sand welcoming her weight over the fabric as he covered her body with his.
Aemond continued his path of kisses down her body, his hands wandering over her breasts and waist and his mouth leaving more marks in its path. He could feel Aelora shudder in anticipation, her hips arching against his as he moved closer to her core, the air heavy with the scent of her nectar. He halted, taking in the sight of her before him. It had been so long — too long — since he had laid eyes upon her like this, and he relished in the way she already looked completely wrecked by his touch alone. The prince finally reached his ultimate goal, his lips finding her mound as he licked a stripe across the sensitive flesh. He let out a low moan at the taste of her sweet ambrosia on his tongue, a loud whimper emanating from her lungs in response.
The young woman’s hair laid carelessly on the ground, grains of sand intertwining into the brown mess as she arched her back in pleasure. She cried out as he grabbed her thighs, spreading her further apart and burying his face between her legs, his tongue exploring her in ways she had missed for many moons. He could not get enough of her, his lips and tongue trailing silent prayers over her most sensitive spot as his name left her lips. She felt her walls clench as he barged inside her cunt with a long finger, adjusting to the once familiar feeling. Shivers ran down her spine in satisfaction as Aemond synchronized his movements, the overwhelming pleasure bringing stars to her eyes.
A lilac eye never left her face, watching every expression that played across her features. Her mouth parted in pleasure, each gasp and moan fueling the fire of the prince’s own arousal. He had longed to see her like this, writhing underneath him, his name on her lips and his touch on her skin. The memories of her had haunted him in his nights alone, but now, in this moment, he was finally able to worship her like the god given treasure that she was.
Aelora's cries grew more intense, her hips bucking against Aemond's skilled mouth as pleasure mounted within her. Her thighs trembled slightly, its muscles tensing in anticipation of the release that was quickly approaching. Each touch and movement only served to bring her closer to the precipice of pleasure.
A loud cry echoed through the cavern as she climaxed, her body shuddering and her fingers digging into the ground in a desperate attempt to anchor herself. As the waves of ecstasy washed over her, she felt as though she had been transported to another realm. The connection between them was somehow stronger than it had ever been before, their souls dancing to a passionate melody.
When Aelora finally gasped for air, the prince slowly moved up from her core, his body hovering over hers. He watched as she recovered from the rapture he had given her with a dark and vainglorious smirk. With his elbow holding himself over her, he pulled her leg to rest on his hip as his eye scanned her features. Her hand moved to cup his cheek, the tip of her finger caressing his reddened scar as she furrowed her brows.
“Nyke gaomagon regret ziry. Skoros nyke vestretan se mōrī jēda. (I do regret it. What I said the last time.)” She apologized, regret brimming in her brown orbs.
Aemond leaned into her touch, his good eye closing at the gentle touch of her hand against his skin, it felt nearly as soothing as a balm to his weary heart. The mention of the title she had bestowed upon him sent a chill through his spine, his monstrous behavior had earned the words even if they had maimed him. His face turned to press a soft kiss into her palm, before opening his eye to look at her again.
“It is of no importance.” His voice was rough and low as he spoke.
Aelora softly tugged at the straps of his eyepatch, earning a trembling exhale from him in response. The touch of her delicate fingers on his malady sent a wave of fear through his spirit. She removed piece of leather, revealing the puckered, scarred skin where his eye had once been. He found himself unable to look at her for a moment, the feeling of vulnerability consuming him in the dim light of the cave. The princess looked deeply into the sapphire gem in his socket, tenderness engulfing the kiss she placed upon it.
Aemond's touch was gentle as he took her lips in his, not waiting for her response as he gripped her hip and turned her on her stomach. His eye roamed over the expanse of her back, tracing his fingers over the smooth surface of her skin, leaving a trail of gentle caresses in its path. It was a stark contrast to the frenzied way he had touched her previously, this touch was far more tender, almost reverent in nature. His body pressed against hers as the length of his manhood rested on the small of her back, buring into her skin. He leaned down, his mouth finding her ear as he moved closer.
“Azantys ñuha sindigho, issa vēzos. (I have missed you desperately, my sun)”. His breath was warm against her skin as he whispered.
Aelora arched her back as she felt the tip of his cock breeching her dampened slit, her knees propping her hip upwards in search of contact. His arm reached under her, squeezing one of her peaks as he fully entered her. The pair let out breathless moans as Aemond moved against her, leaving no time for her adjustment. The sting of pain she felt had been nothing compared to the ecstasy of his length inside her, finding herself unable to focus on anything but the feeling of being around him.
The prince’s thrusts grew harder, his body moving against hers in a rhythm that was both frenzied and yet somehow controlled. Her moans and sighs filled the air, his own breaths coming quick and sharply as he took her with a wild abandon. He buried his face in her neck, biting down on the soft flesh as his hands buried into her hips.
“Avy jorrāelan. (I love you)” Aelora murmured between ragged moans, her hand reaching to grasp his hair.
His eye widened slightly at her words, a thrill rushing through him at having heard them coming from her lips once again. His lips found the base of her jawline, pressing a kiss to the sensitive skin. His cock kept reaching further into her cunt as their flesh moved together with a rhythmic thrust, like the rise and fall of waves on the shore.
“Avy jorrāelan. Avy jorrāelan. Avy jorrāelan.” Aemond mumbled repeatedly in between thrusts, his words a fierce declaration of their love. He continued moving inside her, his heart racing in his ribcage as his pleasure overcame physical bounds.
Every thing about this moment was singled out from any other they had shared. The grief, pain and betrayal that coursed through their marriage dissipated amongst the dragon fire that burned within the pair. It all faded away, and all that was left was this, the feel of her skin against his, the sound of his muffled whimpers in her ear, the desperate way he repeated her name over and over. This moment felt like the calm in the middle of a storm, a rustle of the ashes of their love.
Aemond could feel his peak building, his movements becoming more urgent and frantic as he chased the pleasure he sought. His breaths came out in ragged pants, mingling with the sounds of her gasps in the air as his length clashed inside her. Aelora sensed the twitching of his manhood, threatening to spill his release inside her walls. The mere thought tightened the knot that had formed in her belly, reaching the edge of her desire.
Aemond sent a few more thrusts into the brown haired woman underneath him before both found their release simultaneously, their movements slowing as they both rode out of the ecstatic trance that washed over them. The prince’s face was buried in Aelora’s neck, a guttural moan escaping him at the force of his own pleasure. Her body shivered at the feeling of his seed drowning her cunt, pearly tears streaming down her leg as she whimpered.
The lovers stayed silent in an adoring embrace after he disconnected their bodies, a wave of comfort washing over them. For a while they simply laid there, basking in the afterglow of their passion, their frames entwined in a tangle of limbs. It was a strange sort of peace, one that they both knew wouldn't last once the sun rose — but for the moment, they were content. The night stretched on, each hour passing in a blur of whispered words and slow hands. Aemond and Aelora clang to one another, as if they could melt into one if they only held tightly enough. The threat of daylight and the inevitable parting loomed over them like a dark cloud on the horizon, anguish settling inside their hearts.
As the hour of the nightingale approached over their secret sanctuary, the prince and princess began to break away from the blissful haven that enveloped them. There were no words to be spoken as they both dressed silently, the sound of rustling fabric and soft breaths filling the air between them. The weight of war and the knowledge that this moment was fleeting hung heavily in the air. Aemond felt a pang in his chest as he looked towards her, a mute wish in his heart that they could stay like this. To be locked in this moment forever, away from the world that demanded so much from them. But he knew that was not possible. Soon, they would have to return to their duties and obligations — this feeling would become nothing more than a memory.
As they stood before each other fully clothed, their eyes met in a bereaved gaze — sorrow for the love they shared engulfing them. Aelora stepped closer to him, holding his hand softly, almost in a cowardly manner. She had no words for the man who was her everything, the man who had her in every way possible, and she was ashamed of it. His free hand moved hesitantly to hold her cheek, his eye flickering over her face, taking in every feature. He wanted to burn the image of her into his mind, to remember every detail about her, down to the smallest freckle on her nose. His thumb traced her soft skin as he leaned in to press a soft, lingering kiss to her lips, as if to say “I will be with you forever”. Tears began to form at the corners of her brown orbs as she abandoned his touch. The sound of the rustling sand underneath her feet echoed through the cave as she reached its entrance, her form never escaping his stare.
She halted at the stone archway, her silhouette framed by the soft silver light of the moon. The night air was cool on her skin as she turned to look back at Aemond, the feel of their passion still lingering in the air. For a moment, they simply stood there, eyes meeting in the darkness. She ached to say something, to find the words to convey the maelstrom of emotions that raged within her. In the end, she simply smiled, bittersweet and knowing.
“Should we meet on the battlefield, I can’t hesitate.” Her voice came out a whisper.
“I won’t hesitate to kill you.” She repeated, to herself or to him — Aemond didn’t know.
The prince’s breath had grown a little shallow at her words, a frown forming on his face. The idea of their next encounter being on the battlefield, facing off against each other like enemies was a thought that pained him, even though he knew it was a possibility. He wanted to tell her that he wouldn’t hesitate either, that he would fight her with everything he had if they ever met in battle, but the words stuck in his throat. He simply nodded in acknowledgement.
Once again, she left him. Aemond would be a King without a Queen, half of his soul forsaken in his search for power. It had to be worth it.
Bur they wouldn’t meet again, not in the context of war or any other.
She would meet her demise alongside her brother in the Battle of The Gullet. Fighting hard like a Strong, dying besides her dragon like a Targaryen and laying to rest at sea like a Velaryon.
He would grow mad at her perishing, ire overcoming his every sense. And he would eventually be slayed by her stepfather at The Battle Above God’s Eye.
Their love was epic, a fierce tale of forbidden passion that would never be written about inside history books. The only legacy they would leave behind had been scribbled onto a stone wall years before.
A.T. & A.V.
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