#also sorry if i got any of the transcript wrong (same for previous video)

[blanketforcas]

do say more, jensen [x]

[valkyrieelysia18]

My RWBY Volume 6(and beyond) Wish List

Hello everyone! Sorry to both my Tumblr followers and any who might read my stories. My personal laptop has technical issues and I’m currently doing everything on the home computer. Added to that I do have a college class I have to do work for. Anyway, I decided to do something smaller for this post.

RWBY Volume 5 wrapped up quite a while ago and it was....something. Seriously guys, I’m enjoying reading the fan fiction than I am watching the actual show. Now Miles and Kerry have responded that they are looking at the fans’ responses and are moving with that going forward, but that still doesn’t change what they’ve already done. So, I decided to throw in my two cents, or rather ten points, of what I want to see in Volume 6 and beyond. These aren’t ranked in any particular order and keep in mind these are my personal opinions. If you agree that’s great, if you don’t be polite about it. Common courtesy, you know.

1. Show, Don’t Tell; Less Exposition Please.

One of the biggest complaints of Volume 5 is the overabundance exposition, often with the same information being repeated with little to no visuals to go along with it. I understand exposition is often necessary, but in a visual medium it’s incredibly important to show these things. Show us Faunus discrimination in Remnant, show us the mines of Mantle and how dangerous it can be, show us the devastation of the battles of The Great War and how it still affects the present. DON’T just talk about it and leave it at that. 

2. More Care in the Writing and the Fight Scenes

You know it makes sense that I would complain the former, but the fact that I’m complaining about the later is kind of a bad sign. Anyone who has read my writing would know that I SUCK at writing fight scenes and the fact that I find the Battle of Haven’s fights terrible is just sad. I’m not asking for Monty levels of quality (that will never happen), just some more polish and improvement. Also, with Rooster Teeth’s other shows and its new ones, I’m concerned over whether Miles and Kerry can really give RWBY the quality care it deserves. Perhaps they should think getting a professional fantasy/sci-fi writer to help.

3. More World Building 

Whatever you feel about Volume 4, the one thing it definitely has over 5 is the world building and that was not just confined to the World of Remnant videos. We were introduced to Menagerie, saw the upper crust of Atlesian society, touched on religion, and we saw how life was like outside of the kingdoms. As for World of Remnant, I actually rather like the series as its a way to give exposition without grounding the show to a halt to tell it to the audience. Volume 5.....not so much. Which is a same because the city of Mistral could have been amazing location to explore and interact with so a lot of missed potential there. For example, most of Mistral we’ve seen seems to based on Central Asia, but Pyrrha  was more Greco Roman and explaining this would have made Mistral a bit more complex than Vale is. Or perhaps the group could have taken a break from training to do some shopping, sightseeing, or take in a show and perhaps run into some familiar faces like the rest of team SSSN or team ABRN. It would have allowed us to care more about this city and be more concerned with protecting it. I really didn't care so much about the city so it was hard for me to really get invested in the Battle of Haven. Any good fantasy writer will tell you that your world is just as much of a character as its inhabitants.

4. Give Ruby More to Do

For being the main character, Ruby really hasn’t been doing much to live up to the role. In fact, her adversaries have been getting more development than she has. I mean, she got a small scene with her and Oscar discussing how she’s handling losing Pyrrha and Penny, but we need more than that. She needs to do more than simply going along with things. Have her develop her silver eye powers, let her learn more about her mother and her past role in the conflict, put her in a situation that makes her question if what she is doing is the right thing to do. While the show is technically named after the team, that doesn't change the fact that Ruby is the focus character and needs some serious development.

5. More Oscar, Less Ozcar

Another complaint I have with Volume 5 is how Oscar really wasn’t given much time to be himself bar that one scene with Ruby, mostly serving as Ozpin’s mouthpiece to the group. Which is a shame because it would have been great to see him interact with Jaune, Nora, and Ren. It would definitely allow Oscar to grow and be his own character that way, showing that while he and Ozpin may be like minded souls, they are not exactly the same and they won’t always agree. I’m looking forward to how the aftermath of Ozpin taking over against the farm boy’s will is handled. That is not something that can be just brushed aside and never talk about again.

6. No Backtracking on Renora

For all the issues with shipping in the RWBY community, no one can deny that Ren and Nora are absolutely adorable together. Which is why I want to see their relationship continue to grow and develop. Have them go on dates so they can just be cute or offer relationship advice to the other members with their own possible developing romances Though another thing I feel that needs to be touched on with these two is Nora’s backstory. It was noted in the flashback in Kuroyuri that Nora didn’t look like a native of the town, so how did she get there? Was she orphaned or abandoned? How did she go from a scared quiet girl to the exuberant pancake loving hammer wielder we know today? Also, if the two were originally from Anima, why did they enroll at Beacon? All good questions I hope will be answered in due time.

7. Jaune and Ozpin Talk

This is a talk that feels like a long time coming. While Cinder may have been the one to kill Pyrrha, it’s very clear that Jaune still holds Ozpin and his inner circle partly responsible for his partner's death. As a result, I feel like a talk with him and Ozpin would be a good way for Jaune to be able to vent his frustrations in a much more healthy manner as well as allow him to understand what really happened those last few days before everything went wrong. Perhaps it would lead to a talk on how a leader’s duty is to help as many people as he can and sometimes that means sacrifice. I think that’s a good lesson for our blond to learn as he is the tactician and semi healer of the group. The other thing that I feel needs to be addressed is Jaune’s transcripts. I covered in a previous post on how there’s no way Ozpin didn’t know about it and this would be a great way to address why Ozpin let him into Beacon in the first place as well as reassure that what happened with Pyrrha was not his fault.

8. More on the Schnees

Since we’re going back to Atlas, I’d like to see more from Weiss’ family. Whitely could use some more development beyond “Jacques’ faithful little follower” and I would really like to see their mother make an appearance. Heck, it would nice to hear more about Nicolaus. Winter as a subordinate of Ironwood would play a role in the affairs in Atlas as would Jacques’ position as the head of the Schnee Dust Company. If anything, I would like to see Jacques realize that there is nothing he can do to make Weiss fall in line and have his actions come back to bite him. HARD.

9. More on the Villains

The thing about villains is that it is just as important to develop them as the heroes. While RWBY’s villains have been very good at messing things up for our good guys, their motivations haven’t been as well fleshed out. Now some villains like Roman Torchwick and Tyrion which are delightfully evil don’t need much of an explanation for why they do what they do, but the others do need some development. I have no problem with Hazel’s motivation being a personal one so much as it being a WEAK personal motivation. I mean, a training accident at Beacon doesn’t really translate to it being completely Ozpin’s fault and him being “evil.” I really hope there’s more to this situation. And then there’s the other questions to answer. What led to Watts being “disgraced?” Why did Cinder have such a fixation on power, acting as if she deserved said power by right? What does Adam want to make humanity pay for? Above all, what happened between Salem and Ozpin to cause this all in the first place? 

10. Team STRQ

There’s so much on this team that I really want to know. What were their dynamics back before Raven left and everything went wrong? What were Tai and Summer’s weapons? Their semblances? What’s Tai’s feelings on all of this? If Team STRQ was what interested Ozpin, what was Tai’s role? What was the nature of Tai and Summer’s relationship? Is Ruby really just like Summer or are there some notable differences that haven‘t been discussed yet? I feel like we’re due for a Team STRQ flashback some time in the future.

Well, that’s all for me. If you got anything add, don’t be shy. Next time, I hope to do a drabble that involves a head canon of mine.

[thecrookedgavel]

The Black Box Readings - Ep 1 Transcript

Here’s the transcript for episode 1 of The Black Box Readings, the podcast where I read to you the backup of queer blogs that have gone down. 

See Other Episodes

An: Hey, all! And welcome to The Black Box Readings, the new podcast where I read to you the backup of queer blogs that have gone down! I’m your host, An Capuano. So basically, it’s a show where I narrate through a deleted or deactivated blog over the course of a season, with a focus on queer artists. Though to be honest, there was a specific blog that inspired me to make this podcast, and unless this format is super popular, I may just do the one season. Anyway, although reading things in a dramatic fashion is definitely in my wheelhouse, non-fiction podcasts are not. So please bear with me while I go through some growing pains as I try and figure this thing out. 

Alright, so this season, we have the story of a digital artist who caught my attention with a really cool piece of Overwatch fanart. It’s about her journey through a life spent mostly online, disability, and navigating through the difficulties of realizing that you’re trans.

For those of you not in the know, I am a disabled trans woman myself, so it’s not a journey I’m altogether unfamiliar with. The biggest reason I’m doing this podcast is because stories like ours get drowned out in the media. I wanted to be able to tell her story so that queer people, young and old, can hear something that resonates with them. And I have a good feeling that this will do that for you.

The Tumblr in question, I won’t say the address. Just know that the title of the blog was: “Less Than Human”. Yeah, I know. Not a very cheery introduction. I sort of choose to think of it, kind of like reclaiming a slur. If she calls herself less than human, other people lose the power to hurt her with it. I’m telling you the blog title because it is important later.

Anyways, enough out of me, here’s the first post of the episode, which happens to be the first post of the blog itself. It’s titled:

“Welcome!

Hey, my name is -”

Ok, so I guess I didn’t think this through. In the post, she uses her deadname, and I don’t feel comfortable reading it out to you all. If I have to choose between deadnaming a trans girl and being a little inaccurate, I’m choosing inaccuracy. I should say, actually, that I don’t consider myself a journalist or anything like that. Also, I get it would be bad of me to use her real name too. So we’ll just call her… Hmmm…. Ok, let’s go with Emmy.

“Welcome!

Hey, my name is Emmy, and I’m 19 years old! Nice to meet you guys! I’ve decided to start posting on my tumblr instead of using it as a dash, lol! I’m a visual artist, though I mostly stick to digital art these days. I spend most of my time reading. My fandoms are Gravity Falls, Steven Universe, Supernatural, Sonic the Hedgehog, Marvel, and of course, Shrek! Lmao. I think Cat Girls are cute, but I’m not a weeb”

*Laugh* I never read this post while she was active. Her sense of humor is really present in this post, she was always silly like this. Anyways, she follows up this post by posting a backlog of art that I figure she must have made and not shown to anyone. It’s all really good stuff. Some fandom, some original. It’s clear to me that she’s not posting her earlier, rougher work. I don’t remember too many details though, as this was a while ago, and I didn’t think to save her artwork when I was copying all her text posts into the google doc. I hope someone out there saved them before they were deleted, though.

I’m not going to bore you by reading every single one of her posts, or anything like that. Just the ones that stand out to me. Here’s one about Supernatural and how she might be falling out of love with it. 

“I don’t know guys, I’m finding it hard to watch supernatural these days. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still one of my favorite shows, it’s just totally not as good as the first 5 seasons. That and I WANT DEAN AND CASS TO BE TOGETHER! Is that so wrong? Look, Cass is an immortal being that just HAPPENED to take a male form. If he had a female form, you can bet that he and Dean would have banged already. I’ve read the tumblr posts too, the ones that talk about all the hints the writers give that Dean is gay. This is ABSOLUTELY queerbaiting, and even as a straight guy, I can see that. I have a lot of gay mutuals who have convinced me how ultimately cute Dean and Cass are, and I feel bad for them, because they’re not being treated fair. You think in its 12 seasons there would be something, but no, nothing. Pisses me off”

Here is where we start seeing a connection between Emmy and queer culture. Although she’s currently IDing as straight and male, you can tell she cares about queer representation. Now, I’m not saying that wanting good queer content makes you queer, of course not. Just that knowing that Emmy is queer, when you look back at her earlier posts, there’s some evidence there. She even talks about Castiel, a male character, having a female form, which I find interesting for obvious reasons.

Next up is a post about something outside of her fandoms, a show called Monk. For those of you who don’t know it, it’s a show focused on a detective with OCD who uses his disability to solve crimes no one else can. As someone with OCD myself, I really enjoyed the show, but it’s not without its problems. Hmm, yeah, I’ll get to those after reading the post, I think

“I’ve been watching a new show lately! Well, a show that’s new to me at least. It’s called Monk! I’m 3 seasons in, and I laugh every episode. But it’s not without its serious moments too. It’s about Adrian Monk, a detective with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and it’s like a super power to him. He can do things no one else can. But he also can’t do things that everyone else takes for granted. Mood. He always says “It’s a gift… And a curse” when talking about it. Big mood. Anyway, I highly recommend it, because it’s a positive depiction of someone mentally ill! I’m so used to people who are “crazy” being mass murderers or some shit. Idk, it’s heartwarming.”

I noticed one of the hashtags of her post was, “Finally found a version with captions.” This is important for later and I’ll get to it by the end of the episode. Where the previous post was the first we saw of her queerness, this is the first we’ll see about her connection with mental illness. It’s unclear if she feels her inabilities are balanced off by her abilities, or if her “mood” was just about her being unable to do what others can. Since her “big mood” is regarding Adrian Monk’s favourite quote “It’s a gift and a curse”, I like to think she was being positive and was including her abilities in the “mood.”

While I do agree with Emmy that it’s a positive depiction of someone mentally ill, and that’s certainly better than having yet another bad guy is who’s only evil because he’s crazy, I’m worried that it’s too positive. It’s actually a really common trope where neurodivergent people in media are seen as “super human,” like Sheldon in the Big Bang Theory, or uhh, the main character from The Good Doctor, I forget his name. It makes it look like everyone with autism or OCD are geniuses, and that sort of skews how neurotypicals view people like us in a negative way. Like, I do view my OCD as a gift, I wouldn’t be able to write the way I do, or play video games the same way if I didn’t have it. But I’m not a superhuman by any means. But I’m expected to, in some sense, outperform everyone because of my OCD, because of this impossible standard set by the media. *Sigh* I’m sorry, I’m getting really off topic. I hope you don’t mind this little rant.

Back to Emmy, I find it a little upsetting that she feels herself cursed in some way. Knowing what I know about her, I like to think she was more gifted than cursed, but given the title of her blog, I doubt she would agree with me. We can glean from this post that she is disabled in some way or another. Maybe she herself has OCD? Or maybe she just relates her own, different disability to OCD? It’s hard to tell at this point, and I don’t want to spoil it, especially since it will come up again in a few posts. 

Next up, we have a post about not just queer characters, but lesbian characters. I’m sure you have heard of Overwatch by now, even if you haven’t played it. Well, the creative devs promised us that a handful of the cast was queer, and at least to me, it seemed like an empty promise. Hmm, I guess it seems a little bit like the queerbaiting conversation we had earlier. Interesting. You know what I mean, right? Like, why take the risk of pissing off the straight, cis part of your fanbase with queer characters when you can just say some characters are queer and attract a bigger queer fanbase that way? But then they did something that blew me out of the water. They made a comic where Tracer has a girlfriend. This next post from Emmy is about this reveal.

“Merry Christmas! And what a Christmas it’s been. Because I got something I’ve been asking for for a LONG time. Blizzard made Tracer gay! I’m not the only one who’s been asking for this, a huge chunk of the fandom has been saying that Tracer is only into other girls. It’s been my headcanon for so long, and now it doesn’t have to be, because it’s canon! Tracer and Emily are so cute together! And their kiss is so hot too! Yeah, lesbians are really hot in general. They’re every guy’s ultimate fantasy. Thanks, Jeff!”

An: Ok, so before we continue, I think I need to apologize on Emmy’s behalf for the way she talks about lesbians. As a trans lesbian, I had a period where I talked about lesbains that way too. Before I came to terms with that identity, I mean. Since you believe you’re a straight guy, there’s no real explanation for why you’re so into lesbians other than them being a male fantasy. But it’s more than that. It’s part of like, seeing yourself as a girl that the idea of being with a girl that likes girls... that is so fundamentally appealing. 

Like, ok. *sigh* I remember this one time very clearly… I was with my girlfriend at the time and a friend of mine at a bubble tea shop. This was probably 9 or 10 years ago now? Jeez. Anyways, this couple of girls starts making out at the table next to us, and I had a full on sexual awakening. I remember that I couldn’t look away. Mostly because my ex wouldn’t let me forget it. I got teased by my friend and berated by my ex. Because I couldn’t explain what happened to her, let alone to myself, I eventually came up with a rather math-y explanation involving vectors of attraction *laugh*. Something like, if women are attractive to me, and men are not attractive to me, then adding their vectors together gives less attraction than two women’s vectors being added together. It was pretty stupid. I don’t talk to either of those two people anymore, by the way. 

Anyways, my point is that since this is before she’s realized she’s a lesbian herself, she’s under the false impression that she needs to sexualize lesbians in order to explain why she’s so attracted to the concept. So please don’t hold that against her. 

---

With that out of the way, we can move on to her next post. It’s a piece of art she made, and it’s pretty special to me. You see, this was the way I found her blog. One of the blogs I follow, who knows which at this point, must have reblogged it and it came across my dashboard. Again, I don’t have a copy of any of Emmy’s art, but I remember it pretty well. It’s a picture of Emily wearing Tracer’s outfit... Shit… Why did I give Emmy a name so close to Emily? Emily as in Tracer’s girlfriend. Maybe it’s because of my association with her and this drawing? Either way, it’s too late now, I’m not re-recording this whole episode. *Sigh* We’ll just stick with the blogger being named Emmy. Anyways! She’s sort of looking a bit out of place, like she doesn’t know how to feel about having a Chrono-accelerator attached to her chest. There’s a speech bubble in the frame pointing off screen that says, “You look marvellous, love!”, or something to that effect, but it’s obviously supposed to be Tracer saying it. It was a really cute drawing, and I was really fond of it, so I liked and followed. Feels like so long ago. 

Anyways, she did reblog the picture afterwards, saying:

“Thank you so much for all the notes! I really appreciate the support. Who knew that something so dumb would be liked by so many people? I really like Emily, and I hope she’s added as a Hero in Overwatch soon! I feel so happy! I’m going to go and do some more drawing, so keep an eye out for more posts!”

Not much going on in this post, but I decided to read it anyway because it contrasts so heavily with the next post. Not the next time she posted, but the next post I’m going to read. Actually, it’s the last post of this episode. 

So, I’m going to warn you, this is a side of Emmy we haven’t seen yet. The really negative side. *Sigh* I don’t know what set her off, maybe nothing did, but I think this post is very important to read to you, as it clears the air about her disabilities.

“I really appreciate all the love you’ve given my art, but I feel like I don’t deserve any of it. I’m so broken and worthless and I’ve only been pretending to be normal so that you’ll all like me. The truth is, I’m physically and mentally disabled, and life is just a never ending struggle. 

First off, I’m deaf. Very deaf. The quietest thing I can hear in either ear is a chainsaw. It means I can’t understand speech or anything I’d need to be social. I don’t know sign language at all, I was never taught. So I just… stay inside all day. I’ve been homeschooled by my Dad since I was young. He thinks something bad will happen to me if I go outside, because I couldn’t hear something like a car coming towards me. So I live my life online, for the most part. I feel so isolated, and like I can’t relate to anyone normal. 

Also, I have Bi-Polar Disorder. For those you don’t know of it, it basically means I have high highs and low lows. I’ve done a good job so far at hiding my lows from everyone and only showing my highs. Until now, I guess… I just feel so low today, and I couldn’t hold it back anymore. I just had to be real. Even if it’s an ugly side of me that I hate. My dad hates how moody I am too. He just doesn’t get that it’s not my fault. Even my highs are hard for him to handle sometimes. Anyway, please forgive me for lying so long”

So, I sense a bit of imposter syndrome here. She’s gotten some success and because she views herself as not even a normal person, she thinks she doesn’t deserve it. It’s a pretty common feeling amongst content creators and something you have to move past if you want to make stuff. It’s like, *sigh* like me, I’m not an expert voice actor, why are people listening to me? I have tricked them into thinking I’m worth listening to. If you’re feeling that way about a recent success, just know that it’s all bullshit and it’s normal to feel that way. I wish I had that knowledge at the time I originally read that post… Because then, I would have messaged her and let her know. But yeah, we have more to unpack here.

She talks about being deaf, and the level that she describes is a profound hearing loss, which is as bad as it gets. I have that level of hearing loss in my left ear, and it’s really hard to deal with. So, I kind of can’t imagine what it would be like to have it in both ears. 

Like, for me, I remember this one time where I was at my locker in high school, and someone must have been asking me a question a few times on my bad side. She wanted to know if I had any extra bus tickets, and by the time I finally caught on that she was talking to me, she said something like “Urg, I just want to punch you.” And it wasn’t a joke either, she was very frustrated with the way my hearing loss had affected her. It made me feel small, and like I was an inconvenience to those around me. Guess it didn’t help how I felt that I had a crush on her at the time… Ha… *Sigh* It was very isolating to grow up like that. I didn’t really belong there, but I didn’t exactly belong in the deaf community either, since I could hear fine out of one ear. So when Emmy describes how isolating it is to be deaf and not know sign language, I get it. I really feel that. When I saw this post, it really made me feel for her. This is probably the point in time where I made a mental note to support her art whenever I could. 

Lastly she talks about her mental illness, being bi-polar. I know a lot less about bi-polar disorder than I do hearing loss. Though I was in a production that never wrapped up about a bi-polar teen. Actually, I was the strict dad who couldn’t understand his child’s illness, which is a similar theme seen in Emmy’s post. I’ve actually been cast as a dad 3 or 4 times now? Yeah. *Laughs* Anyways, what I understand about it is that it can be seasonal. You might be manic for a season, and depressive for another. But yeah, it doesn’t always work that way. Usually medication can help balance you out, but in Emmy’s case, she wasn’t taking any meds at this point. I’ll say it here for clarity’s sake, but her having bi-polar disorder was a self-diagnosis, not a professional one. That’ll be covered in the next episode, though. 

So now the whole “Less than Human” thing makes a bit more sense, doesn’t it? Not because it’s true in any sense, but because it was true to her. Disability is something that people tend to see as different, or othering. There’s a lot of stigma there. We can sort of tell at this point that the way her Dad views her and treats her doesn’t help her feel any better about this either. 

That’s why she likes the depiction of mental illness in Monk so much, right? Because it’s a bit of a “More than Human” approach. It gives her some hope that maybe she can be seen positively one day too. As far as movies with Deaf characters goes there’s like 100, if I recall correctly. Which is honestly pitiful compared to the amount of movies, period. So it’s more than likely that she never got to see herself in media in that perspective before. 

Also, there’s the markings of a budding trans girl in there too, which may further intensify the feeling of not being human. For years and years *sigh*, there was practically zero positive representation of trans people in media. We’re taught that feeling like this makes us freaks, and that presenting differently than we’re supposed to makes us... something worse than that. It all comes together to form something bitter and isolating. Especially before you start owning those parts of you and finding a community of your own.

Thank you for listening to this episode of The Black Box Readings! I really ranted more than I thought I would. Hopefully you all liked the anecdotal stuff I added in, didn’t really plan on doing that. Follow me on Twitter at TheCrookedGavel to stay up to date on this and other queer podcasts. Feel free to contact me there as well. This is An Capuano, signing off!