#also when he and miguel are talking in the secret lair

[lafaiette]

I finally found Pen's Chinese romance lines :')

(You can find more comparisons here and here by the way)

First, something sweet to start with: Jasmine calls Pen, Burgess, and Miguel "uncle"! (叔叔)

Jasmine to Andy: Uncle Peng Hu thinks he's the most beautiful man in the world. We can secretly put a mirror in his room, so he'll look at it all day long and we can sneak out to play!

And now, I'll start with the Romance Quest - I included only the Chinese version of the dialogue happening after giving him the Heart Knot, because the post is already pretty long!

Chinese: Well... little weakling, you gave me this Heart Knot. I thought about it seriously... You have always been nice to me. You often praise me, give me gifts, and help me run errands everywhere. Maybe I have really found the one, the most special person to me. Someone who loves me as much as I love myself! Oh, this is so surprising to me... Little weakling, before we go further with our current relationship, I have to speak with you. I have to make sure you are sincere to me! Everyone knows that I am a golden bachelor. If you are with me just to show off and make yourself look good at some workshop awards ceremony, I will not allow it! What I want is true love... And I still have to understand if my fascination with you is not just for your body, but also for your personality… Yes, that's right. All this time, I called you "little weakling", not because of contempt for your figure, but because I couldn't take my eyes away when I saw your small body without muscles. It’s like seeing an uncultivated land with unlimited room for exercise. It’s so charming! There is only one way to test whether there is love between us... and that is - Fighting! An adrenaline-filled battle! Drenched in sweat, bloody, and bare-knuckled! Yes, the fastest way to get to know someone is to fight with them! Builder: 1) Then let’s go! -> Pen: Good! Let's meet tomorrow at the gate of the Paradise Lost ruins. Let's fight side by side to destroy those robots from the corrupt era and beat fierce drumbeats on their remains with our fists! I’ll go first! Remember to wear protective gear and be prepared. All for romance! Builder: 2) After falling in love... shouldn't you go on a date? -> Pen: Haha, that's what ordinary people do. I don't care for those old-fashioned ways of falling in love. Only when fighting can I feel truly alive! Builder: 3) But we have already fought many times... -> Pen: Many times?! It's never enough! I'm a fighting expert! For me, this is true love, nothing else but pure fighting and strong love!

Meeting Pen in front of Paradise Lost: Here you are, little weakling! I've been waiting for you for a long time, and I'm a little bored... Let's not waste time, let's hurry in and kill everyone! Get ready, little weakling! Let's show those robots real fighting skills and send them all the way back to their corrupt era! Not bad, little weakling, you have been exercising recently! Robot, take my blow! Punch! Fighting with you... makes my heart surge! That move is awesome, little weakling! Don't let them escape, leave no one behind! Haha, fighting with you is more exciting than I imagined! The thought of being able to "seal love" with you and fight these robots to confirm our relationship... my heart is beating fast! Let the battle become more intense! Come on, let's go in! Awesome, little weakling! It's been a blast all the way. Now there's only one last step left to make our date today even more perfect - Yes! That's it! A powerful elite monster! Come on, little weakling! Show your fists and give the big robot in this corrupt era the coolest blow! Haha... so refreshing... This feels so right... Little weakling, what do you think? I’m having too much fun today... ha, wait! I got it, the most important step is missing!

English: I'm afraid this moment cannot last forever… We must return to the hustle and bustle of city life… But let us always remember this place. Our lovers cocoon where, for one brief evening, the world was ours... Outside Paradise Lost: Goodbye, my love! Expect to see me again soon… I'll swing by your place later for a major make-out sesh!

Chinese: I really want to stay with you for a while longer! But I have to go protect Sandrock. Let us remember this moment and this feeling. No one can take away the energy of this love... … Goodbye then, my dear! I'm looking forward to seeing you next time …… I will definitely have a more exciting date with you!

English: You fell from a cliff and survived? Did someone help you? Or did you simply claw your way back to safety, and crawl to my feet just to see me again. You truly do love me, don't you? Chinese: You fell off a cliff and came back alive? Could it be that someone more powerful than me saved you? Alas, I missed an opportunity to protect you.

English: Knight, Protector, Enforcer, Big Daddy Love Sponge… I go by many names. Chinese: Besides, Knight is just a title. Guardian, Big Brother, Heart-throb... these are my titles!

English: Alright… fine. You want the truth? You can't handle the truth! But… here it is anyway: Miguel totally brainwashed me! Yeah, that's it… He told me, uh, Duvos rules and stuff, and… I was in a bind! I have multiple obligations! Do you have any idea how expensive the holidays are when you're shopping for twelve separate lovers who all think they're my one and only? Plus with Sandrock failing… I had no choice, I needed the money from his scheme… He said if I protect him, he'd give me a portion of his dirty money. Now that I think about it… say, do you think he could be some kind of high level Duvos operative? Certainly seems like it. Not trying to do your job for you or anything, though…

Chinese: Okay, okay, let me tell you... [Player's Name], your pal Peng Hu didn't know anything before he met that bad guy Miguel! Just eat, sleep, and protect the town every day. Until one day he told me that he was working for Duvos, trying to win me over, and saying a lot of things that made sense... I was short of money at that time, so I fell into his trap. Anyway, I am also a part-time worker. What is the difference between working for Sandrock and working for Duvos? Besides, with Sandrock being the way it is, I was saving myself. He asked me to protect him. As long as I did it, I would get a share of the embezzlement money. So I got involved in all this. Could that guy Miguel be a senior member of Duvos? An agent? Maybe he really is! Of course, that's the job of your militia group [Civil Corps], so I won’t say more.

English:

Builder: "How could you do this to me?" Pen: "What can I say, sometimes country trumps love…" Builder: "Please stop…" Pen: "I'm sorry, gotta fulfill my KPI, you understand!" Builder: "I still love you." Pen: "I know." Builder: "You were ugly anyway!" Pen: "Ooph, that might have hurt a mere mortal, but I know you know deep down in your heart that it's not true!" "Hm… to finally face you as my true self… it's invigorating! Now quit playing hard to get, Skinny, and take your place at my side!"

Chinese:

Builder: "How could you do this to me?" Pen: "What else can I do? The Empire is more important than love." Builder: "Don't do this to me..." Pen: "Sorry, [Player's Name]. This is my job, and I have to earn enough performance [points]!" Builder: "I never stopped loving you." Pen: "I know." Builder: "I stopped loving you a long time ago anyway!" Pen: "Haha, that doesn't hurt me. ["That sentence has no deadly effect on me."] Don't deceive your heart, you must still love me deep inside!" "Today I can finally face you with my true identity, and I'm actually very happy. Who doesn't want to be honest with his lover, little weakling? Why don't you come to my side, eh?"

English: I heard from someone in the capital that they experimented on him to make him stronger. Chinese: I heard that someone in the capital specifically conducted experiments on him, that's why he is so strong.

English: Ha! Know one thing about me, Skinny: any declarations I made on behalf of us was true. I make no mistakes, neither in war nor in love. You want proof? Well, it's not like I go around giving everyone nicknames! No… you were special in that regard. Perhaps it was always our destiny to be together… But I'm afraid that thread of fate has been cut short. I have chosen my country over love. Such is the duty of a Duvos Knight. …That's what you wanted to hear, isn't it…?

Chinese: Haha, one good thing about me is that I put real feelings into every relationship. I don't like to give people random nicknames either! Perhaps, ever since the moment I called you little weakling [Skinny Arms], you were destined to be my one and only love. It's just that we're different, and I had to sacrifice our relationship for the greater good of my country. Are you satisfied with this answer?

English: "Goodbye, [Player's Name]. It was... fun. Chinese: Farewell, [Player's Name]. This time it's for real. You're free.

The Protector's description, called "Guardian of Love" in Chinese:

A very delicate bracelet that protects the wearer's wrist. Wearing it gives the wearer a feeling of being emotionally confined. Perhaps this feeling is similar to what Peng Hu often said, "Marriage is a boring bondage".

Pen's letter in Chinese:

Dear [name], I've had a little more time to think lately in this so-called Atara Maximum Prison, and I'm more than a little sorry that I couldn't bring you along to accompany me. Well, it's my fault. Anyway, you are still the most beloved lover I have ever been with, and one of the few that I continue to miss even after a breakup. So, I'm going to forgive you. Yeah - I forgive you.I don't think there's a chance we'll ever be together again. You're just doing what you're supposed to do in your position, so there's nothing to complain about. I should have tried my best to recruit you from the beginning, and it would have been the best way to keep you with me. Of course I don't blame you, you're indeed excellent. I also left you a final challenge. In some ruins, there are a few of my most valuable things, and if you can get them, they're yours. It should be easy to get there, using the tricks I've taught you. My dear little weakling, this is the last time I'll call you that, I believe in your abilities. Remember, don't slack off on your training. We won't meet again. (but 后会无期 can also mean "meeting at an unspecified/unclear date")

WELP, what more can I say :'D

[provocativescribe]

John’s Movie List

This is a re-post of an original post from XXXFamilyFun (aka John Valjean) with flagged images removed.

One of the most common messages I receive is about good incest movies. I wrote a post that was fairly popular, which I will link to at the bottom of this post. But first, let’s revisit my criteria for a good incest scene in a movie:

Criteria #1: The guys should be good looking and they should look the part. There’s a scene in Falcon’s “The Dark Side” (2002) where Derek Cameron and Race Jensen play son and father, respectively, but Derek Cameron (who is definitely hot), looks too old to play the part of the son. Just by a few years.

Criteria #2: The actors need to play the part. Even if they only do it a few times, I need to hear a “fuck me Dad” or “take that dick, son” or else it just plays like any scene from any other movie.

Criteria #3: Set the scene up a little bit. I want to know why the father and son, brother and brother, or cousin and cousin are about to do some dirty business with each other. If the scene starts and we, as viewers, just learn that the guys having sex are family members, then it also just feels like a scene from any other movie.

Criteria #4: As you will see, it should probably be directed by Chi Chi LaRue.

Okay, so you know what I like, and that’s what you’ll find in most of the following movies (which are listed in no particular order):

“Brother to Brother” (All Worlds, 1996) Okay, Chi Chi LaRue’s “Brother to Brother” has a brother/brother scene that I have never made my way through. The guys just do not look like brothers and I don’t find it very hot. So why is it even on the list? Well, there is a scene where the brothers’ uncle (played by Drew Andrews) spies on the lads while they sleep in their tightie-whities. He’s so turned on by it that he pulls his nice long dick out and jacks off to the boys sleeping. Andrews plays the part perfectly, looking around nervously to make sure he doesn’t get caught and then wondering what to do with the cum he decided to spill in his hand. Eat it, of course! He gobbles it down with relish and it’s impossible not to cum to this incredibly hot scene! Just because it’s incest-lite doesn’t make it any less effective! (Director: Chi Chi LaRue)

“Father Figure” (All Worlds, 1999) I remember reading a review of this movie and the feeling bad about myself afterward. The writer said that the dialogue in the scene where the father (Sam Crockett) fucks the daylights out of his son (Stoney) left him squeamish. This was my favorite part. I thought, “Am I some sort of degenerate?” I eventually decided I wasn’t. In fact, I love when the characters embrace their parts and, holy fuck, does Crockett embrace his role as the father who pops his son’s young cherry! “Back into it, Boy!” he commands as he fucks his son senseless. If ever there was a go-to incest scene, this is the one for me. I hate that the production values are so cheap, but Crockett makes this a must-see scene for anyone who enjoys incest-themed porn. (Directors: Peter and Casey O’Brian)

“Fox’s Lair” (Studio 2000, 1995) Some of the sex in the final scene, where three muscle-bound brothers fuck each other, can be a bit drab, but the build-up to it is hot as hell. Steve Fox, Ty Fox, and Ryan Fox (they used to give the actors the same last names to continue the brotherly illusion) play three brothers exploring their sexuality are varying levels before the three of them flip-flop in the final scene. It’s definitely worth a watch because too many incest movies rely on pairings as opposed to multiple family members jumping in the sack! (Director: John Trennel)

“Family Secrets” (Jocks, 1996) I was torn on adding this movie to the list because it’s even more incest-lite than “Brother to Brother.” This one also features Crockett who goes to visit his cousin Jake Taylor (one of my all-time favorite pornstars). During the visit, the two men don’t come out to each other. That is until Taylor brings home some slutty pals and a hot forgy ensues. Crockett sucks off Taylor and the two make out, and that’s about it. I hope you can find the scene online and compare it to Crockett’s scene in Father Figure. The guy really gets into the part and adds a layer of filthiness that so many actors don’t bother to do when they’re in niche movies like this. (Director: Chi Chi LaRue)

“Here Cums the Bridegroom” (Private Man, 2007) If you follow my blog, then you have probably guessed that I am into straight guys who fall into gay sex (and fucking love it). If that’s also your bag, I think this movie will hold a special place in your heart. On the wedding day of the very hot groom (Glenn Santoro), he can’t help but fuck and get fucked by the members of his wedding party, his father-in-law, and his brothers-in-law. This video is hot as fuck. And it ends with an orgy of most of the participants from all of the previous scenes. It’s on the list because power-top brother (Lucio Maverick) fucks his power-bottom brother (Mario McCabe) enthusiastically while Santoro fucks another guy to their side! (Director: Tom Bradford)

“Ivy Blues” (Catalina Video, 1985) This one goes way back to the 80s, but the trip is worth it. Ricky Turner is home from college and ready to have some fun with whoever is closest. In this case, it’s his limo driver. When his brother (Michael Mann) comes home and sees what his brother is up to, he’s not at all disturbed. In fact, he decides to join the two and fucks his brother in the hot final scene! Mann, who went by a number of names back in the day, was one of the hotter performers at the time, so it was wonderful to see him topping his slutty little brother. (Director: William Higgins)

“Phoenix Rising” (Falcon Studios, 1999) I’d say this movie is a little more than incest-lite, but not much. Still, it’s worth a watch to see yummy Daddy Jason Branch fuck his rambunctious nephew (Tristan Paris) with the help of three domineering African-American studs. There’s some filthy dirty-talk between the uncle and nephew during their brief fuck scene, but it’s goddamn hot. It ends with Uncle Jason blasting a thick ball-busting hot load all over his dirty nephew’s young face! (Director: Chi Chi LaRue)

  “Roll in the Hay” (Jocks, 1994) Mark West and his sons entertain a group of city slickers. In the third scene, West and his son (Christian Fox) come upon ripped David Logan jacking off on their property. Not phased in the least, a threesome ensues which finds son going down on father and father going down on son. West was probably cast as the father because he had two modest crows feet, but that’s fine with me because he’s incredibly sexy. I get sent over the edge hearing him command, “Suck your daddy’s dick!” I’d have loved to see these two fuck because Fox was an enthusiastic bottom, but alas it was not meant to be. (Director: Chi Chi LaRue)

“Brothers and Other Fantasies” (All Worlds, 1999) Easily one of my all time favorite incest scenes. I’m not totally into twinks, but young Matt Bandero legitimately looks like Vince Bandero’s kid brother. Matt spies on Vince jacking off and a hot incestuous scene plays out where Matt comes in and sucks his big brother off as Vince stays wholly in character. “Have you been watching me fuck my girlfriend, Matt?” as the younger brother swallows Vince’s long cock. Look. This. Clip. Up. If you’re into incest, they do not get much better than this. Vince fucks his little brother wildly, even after he admits that Vince is too big for him to take. (Director Chi Chi LaRue).

“Spring Break” (Falcon Studios, 1988) Uncle Chad Douglas is sure his nephew, Cory Monroe, is down to fuck and wastes no time telling the boy what he wants in this Falcon 80s classic. Douglas knows exactly what he wants and he’s going to take it, blood relation or not! This scene is so hot because Douglas and Monroe are of a pair of hot performers who know how to put on a hell of a fiery performance. (Director: Matt Sterling)

“Bad Boys Get Spanked” (Channel 1 Releasing, 2007) This video has what is one of my favorite incest scenes from the last few years. I’m not sure how this didn’t make it on my initial list. A father (Brock Armstrong) has been summoned to his son’s (Tristan Sterling) school for a disciplinary meeting with a member of the faculty (Drake Jaden). Jaden suggests spanking as a method to punish the boy, who has been acting out on campus. Armstrong is immediately turned on and a hot, hot, hot threeway ensues in which all of the cast stay in character. Listening to Armstrong eat out his boy while his teacher watches will drive you wild, as will everything that comes after! (Director, Chi Chi LaRue)

“Bone Island” (Kristen Bjorn Video, 2004) Kristen Bjorn incorporated a fair amount of incest in his videos, with varying results. Sometimes the brothers/cousins don’t seem to act like they were related or the scene might just be the dud of the video. While the brothers (Diego Pastores and Guillermo Pastores) in this scene don’t fuck, they kiss and suck with passion. Diego and Guillermo are trespassing on the porch of Miguel Peron, who is about to call the police on the boys. When they beg him not to, he suggests the brothers suck him off. This scene is key to the video because the brothers have trepidation about what is about to unfold. Of course, they go for it and the scene is very hot. If you know Bjorn’s work (and I really hope you do!), you’re familiar with how well he choreographs his scenes and the plentiful and big cum shots he incorporates. Good luck making it through this scene without blowing a load of your own! (Director: Kristen Bjorn)

“Billy’s Tale” (Falcon Studios, 1993) This one is a Cinderella story in which you’re totally chill with how the step-siblings treat their put-upon brother. Billy (Chet Roberts) is forced to wait on his muscle-bound step-brothers (Trent Reed, Erik Houston, and Glenn McAllister), who apparently lie around and eat all day (though they have mysteriously fine bodies). When the brothers so chose, Roberts becomes their sexual plaything, but the scene moves past pseudo-incest as Houston goes down on McAllister’s fat dick and eventually eases his ass down on the beast. In the third scene, Jake Andrews shares the brothers, who are not shy about touching one another in front of strangers! (Director: Steven Scarborough)

“Grunts: Brothers in Arms” (Raging Stallion Studios, 2008) In this military fantasy about a “Gay Bomb” that turns straight men into oversexed gay animals is hot as hell, but I would have loved for the brothers in the film (Steve Cruz and Orlando Toro) to act a lot more like brothers! Make no mistake, their scene is hot! They fuck and suck passionately and Cruz is a very vocal bottom. However, it would have been so much hotter if Cruz had thrown in a couple of “fuck me, bro” or something to take the scene up a notch! The filmmakers get extra points for making sure Toro and Cruz look like twin brothers! (Directors: Chris Ward and Ben Leon)

“Joe Gage Sex Files 11: Doctors and Dads #2” (Dragon Media, 2012) Okay, how can you take a list like this without including Joe Gage, who, like LaRue, clearly has a knack for incest. Jake Steel is the father and Tyler Sweet is the son, in this scene that builds in a way that only Gage has mastered. Tyler is at the doctor after he hurts his nuts. His father, the campus coach, comes in to check in on his boy, who is wearing a hospital gown. Steel starts fondling his son slowly and the two share a number of intense glances and a few brief exchanges before Sweet is kneeling in front of his father doing what he does best. Steel and Sweet are another pair of strong performers who gloriously maintain the father/son illusion throughout the scene. (Director: Joe Gage)

“Raw” (All Worlds Video, 2004) The yummy Kent Larson is anxious Groom and Kyle Lewis is his sexy brother. You may also remember incredibly chiseled Lewis as the older brother in 2005’s “Little Brother’s Big Secret”. The scene in that film is hotter, but watching Lewis attempt to calm his brother’s nerves by fucking him shortly before he’s supposed to walk down the aisle is something to behold. Add to that, the bride’s hot brother (Jonathan West) joins in on the action halfway through the scene. (Director: Doug Jeffries)

“Fratrimony” (All Worlds Video, 1990) Jerry Douglas incorporated incest into many of his films, but none more so as this video featuring Tim Lowe and Butch Taylor as brothers who have the house to themselves for the weekend and begin to explore their sexuality in unexpected ways. The video is somewhat unique because it only features Lowe and Taylor. There are a few problems though. Taylor seems way too old to play a guy who’s fresh out of college and Lowe makes a shit-ton of weird faces when he cums and when he’s getting fucked. Still, the scenario is still hot and I usually don’t make it past the intial scene, which finds Lowe and Taylor jacking off together in bed. The two eventually jack each other off to completion. (Director: Jerry Douglas)

Just look at the gaze of pure lust Taylor gives Lowe. Douglas knew how to direct his actors.

I hope you enjoyed this new list of incest-themed videos! Sorry, I don’t have links to the movies! These are all from my private collection. The following is the link to the previous post:

Click here to find John Valjean’s long-form stories now exclusively at Smashwords!

[jbuffyangel]

Weekly Rundown 10/21/18-10/26/18

Time to rundown what I’m watching, loving, hating and everything in between! Spoilers ahead! Full episode reviews and reactions are linked in the titles.

Daredevil Season 3

Just so y’all know - most nuns do not wear their habits in public anymore. It’s been that way since Vatican II, but TV refuses to catch up.

The action is amaaaaazing again. I love how Matt actually gets tired when he’s fighting.

I don’t want Matt to put that ugly Daredevil suit on again he looks ridiculous. Keep the black mask and call it a day.

I want Foggy to propose very badly. I need a Foggy wedding in Season 4.

Is there any particular reason why Karen didn’t haul ass to Frank’s Punisher lair when her life was in danger and Matty Mcbrown eyes was off Daredeviling an existential crisis? That’s where I’d go.

Matt refusing to ask the other Defenders help because “it’s not their fight” is the stupidest reason ever.

Arrow (“The Longbow Hunters”)

It is a bit creepy when Stan says, “I bet a guy like that would do anything to keep his family safe.” Maybe Stan is a nuthouse, but leave me to my dream for now.

Is it me or did Yorke look older than 40? 1978????

Deputy Director Bell is evil. Calling it now.

The Longbow Hunters don’t actually use bows. This is a twist I did not see coming.

Bl*ck S*ren can’t lawyer worth a damn, but she can wear a suit.

“Stay behind me.” That was oddly hot Rene. I’m wildly uncomfortable that I find you attractive right now, but it is what it is.

Rene: Been back in town a week and you’re already sneaking out of A.R.G.U.S. behind Papa Dig’s back? I’m so proud.

Felicity: Thanks man.

This whole exchange was delightful and not remotely derogatory like “Blondie.” THY NAME IS CHARACTER GROWTH.

“Grab your balls Curtis, we’re going in.” If the Rene character only exists to say this one line of dialogue then it was worth it.

Why didn’t BS and Dinah go after the Longbow Hunter? What is up with allowing all these criminals to run away at a moderately brisk pace and our people acting like they can’t catch them? They are called legs! Move your ass!  

BITCH YOU BETTER NOT STEP ON THAT PHOTO!!!!!!!

Legends of Tomorrow  (“The Virgin Gary”)

Legends Season 4 premiere is fantastic and full of all the hi-jinks I’ve missed over hiatus.

“Speaking of the same old crap isn’t that what he did last year?”Legends gets points for acknowledging that Wally gets the storyline shaft a lot.

When you are officially a hero the time bureau gives you a medal, but I was more excited about the balloons.

It would be super weird if the Legends spent more than a day in 2018.

Remember when Oliver asked Sara to move in with him and she went running screaming in the other direction? It all worked out because Sara knew he was really in love with Felicity. I’m just saying she’s come a looooong way.

I want to be clear about one thing and it’s not up for debate. Ready? The best thing about Legends is Mick. It’s always Mick. That is all.

OMG NATE’S FATHER IS BIFF FROM BACK TO THE FUTURE?????!!!!!!!! THIS IS SPECTACULAR CASTING!!!

Manifest “Connecting Flights”

It was nice to fill in the back story of the characters left behind after the plane went missing, however the show is starting to lose my attention. I need more movement on these character relationships. Manifest is hitting a lot of the same notes week after week.

This Is Us (“Toby”)

Randall is going ahead with the city council job? Are they independently wealthy Does no one have to work?

Baby Toby is the cutest.

Holy crap is this how in vitro really works? It’s so friggin expensive and no guarantees. Wow, my sympathies to all those who have gone through this excruciating process.

Randall unbuttoning his shirt is all the reason I need to vote for him. Done deal. 

Toby used his wonderful sense of humor to cheer up his depressed Mom. Ugh my heart.

But for real though sometimes you need just “one damn day.” #MomLife

Three hours to get ready Kate? Just as an FYI - that’s all over when you have a baby. You’ll be lucky to get a shower.

Miguel carried a piano up stairs to cheer Rebecca up. That’s love.

“There’s so much of her in you it scares me.” THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU SAY TO YOUR CHILD ASSHOLE.

A+ on the prom dresses. Absolutely what I wore in high school. We were fashionista slaves in the late nineties.

Kate’s impression of Adele is dead on.

Miguel tries so hard. He’s just trying to keep his promise to Jack.

Rebecca is such an amazing mom. Kate doesn’t give her nearly enough credit.

KATE IS PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Rookie (Pilot” and “Crash Course”)

I really loved The Rookie. I typically don’t hate procedurals, but this one has surprised me thus far. It’s fast paced, so it held my attention more. I hope it stays that way. 

I love how it is the rookies versus the training officers. It fills my Rookie Blue void.

I am not invested in any ships yet. I am not buying the romance between Nolan and Lucy so far. I actually think Lucy has more chemistry with Bradford and Nolan with the Captain.

A Million Little Things (“Friday Night Dinner” and “The Game of Your Life”)

I want to love this show, but they are making it next to impossible. I hate cheating storylines in any show. It’s one of the main reasons I quit watching Shonda Rhimes’ shows because she is unable to write one without including adultery. Arrow’s original love story revolved around cheating and was an absolute mess. It feels like a lazy way to inject drama. This cheating storyline between Eddie and Delilah is making two characters who are otherwise very likable extremely unlikable. 

Instead of jettisoning this plot into the atmosphere where it belongs and never speaking of it again, A Million Little Things is double down on it.  Delilah is pregnant! Oh wonderful, now we get to play “Who’s the Daddy?” for several weeks.

Apparently, the writers come from The Fl*sh school of writing. Characters can only be mad at other characters for one episode. All the friends found out about Eddie and Delilah’s affair and the very next week they are sitting down to pizza. It’s at Delilah’s house and Eddie’s wife Katherine comes too because FRIENDS. No. Just no.

Instead of being angry at Eddie and Delilah, the friends make excuses for them. Regina’s conversation with Delilah turned into a huge “I didn’t see your pain” apology, which is flat out ridiculous. What Delilah did was so off the charts wrong there is no excuse for it. If you are in pain see a therapist. It’s not an excuse to cheat on your husband. Also, Regina you are not to blame for Delilah lying to everyone for over two years. 

Gary, who has been the angriest, decides he’s being too hard on Eddie (ya know by actually holding him accountable for his actions) and lets Eddie move in with him after his wife finally kicked him out. Are you freaking kidding me with this? I was already mildly irked at Gary for giving Delilah a free pass, but I understood his reasoning because her husband just jumped off a building. She has been punished quite a lot. But Eddie? I think we could muster a couple episodes of anger towards Eddie.

The writers attempted drum up sympathy for Delilah by shining a little light on her seemingly perfect marriage with Jon. It’s not really perfect, but what marriage is? Jon was short with Delilah during a family dinner. He took a phone call from work and snapped, “Everything I do is for this family.” What a bastard. Of course, that is reason enough for Delilah to jump into bed with Eddie, her husband’s best friend. GIVE. ME. A. FRIGGIN. BREAK. If my husband slept with someone else every time I was cranky with him, he’d have a harem.

So, on top of being suicide apologists, the writers are adding cheating apologists. There is no reason to cheat. It’s just mean. Nobody has put a gun to your head. If you want out of your marriage you march to an attorney’s office and file for divorce. Not sure if you want a divorce? Then go to counseling. But cheating, under any circumstances, is wrong. It’s cruel and selfish. It’s trying to have your cake and eat it too. A Million Little Things trying to excuse away Eddie and Delilah’s heinous behavior is almost as bad as the cheating itself. Trying to make suicide and cheating okay with excuses is dangerous behavior. I AM NOT A FAN.

Stray Thought - on what planet is a school program presented in the middle of the freaking day? What kind of ridiculous school do Eddie and Katherine send their son to?

Blindspot (“The Quantico Affair”) 

Zapata has a very interesting running stride. Sorry I was in cross country. That stuff interests me

Roman saying "He knows. This is it. Kill him" underscores the dramatic tension.

I’m gonna need someone on Team Blindspot to pick up on Remi's side eye. Y'all are FBI agents for goodness sake.

I don't actually know what Patterson's name is, but I feel confident it is not Lisa.

I think Martin Gero saw me write "Where is Patterson's storyline?" in my last review. I could have opted for patience, but complaining loudly via written word felt like a better plan. 

Hey watch the condemnation Remi aka Jane aka double secret agent who told so many lies I can't keep it straight anymore.

OMG Rich not explaining how the tattoo was solved is the best thing ever. PLEASE DO THIS EVERY WEEK

I wanna talk about the Book of Secrets mostly because Rich calls it the Book of Secrets.

Hahaha. Her one night stand showed up at work. This is how Meredith and McDreamy began. I highly recommend elevator scenes too.

One night stand boy is Weitz's nephew. IT. JUST. GOT. BETTER

Sure Madeline come on in and check out our super secret tattoo murder board.

"Thundercats ho!" OMG was that an ad lib?

Totally ship Patterson and this dude. I should probably learn his name.

Somebody tell Rich about the one night stand. Pleeeeeeeease.

I'm not calling him Lincoln. He shall be known as "Slab of Man-Ham" forevermore.

Patterson and Rich are the perfect work wife/husband team. Remember Rich is the work wife

How does Weitz maintain employment? This may be the greatest of all Blindspot's mysteries.

Of course "Jane" and Weller are on the train Weitz. IT'S THEIR JOB. Seriously someone get this dude a DVD of #Blindspot S1-S3

Patterson girl, Jane is never that cranky with you when she's diffusing bombs. SOMEBODY NOTICE PERSONALITY CHANGES PLEASE!!!

"You're new here." ALL KNEEL TO PATTERSON.