#amidst the churning chaos screaming for dear life and ENJOY it
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actively hilarious how bad the internet is at responding to ocd reassurance-seeking
#best possible response i’ve seen is ‘ignore the other people things may or may not be fine’#prime directive ass condition#I JUST DO THE GENIUS THING AND TRY TO FIND *OTHER* PEOPLE SEEKING OUT REASSURANCE THEYRE ACTUALLY GAY AND GET MY ENDORPHINS SECONDHAND LOLLL#not really. but just the endorphins part. doesn’t make me feel better still do it bc something something seeking out commonality#when my brains screaming at me that i’m a liar clinging to a shrinking demographic or some crap lol#i can argue all i want with myself but the infinite unknowability of the cosmos and mankinds beautiful capacity to defy the labels i actuall#actually like very much why thank you will always get in my way. who the hell knows i could have a stroke tomorrow#no use arguing with an unknowable predestined future right haha#emphasis on unknowable. the whole point id that one CANT know. assurance is for stupid babies real women cling to their conceptual coffins#amidst the churning chaos screaming for dear life and ENJOY it#AKA NOT DOING SO HOT TONIGHT LOL
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