#and I just. Did NOT want to even think of an Ivan. Was so grouchy. Until I got over it and sketched anyway FFFFF

[runefactorynonsense]

Melotober - Day 11 - Dream

Chosen Earthmates

[themultifandomgal]

His Queen Pt11

"Hello, Mr. Daley. Nice to see you again. My dear Amunet, I have missed you" Kahmunrah walks towards Larry and I. I roll my eyes at Kah "now, if you don't mind, I shall take that from you. Thank you. Finally. Finally! After 3,000 years, my evil army of the damned, my beautiful, beautiful army" Kah placed the tablet in a hole. I know it's not going to work because he doesn't have the combination"shall be unleashed!" nothing happens "I'm afraid that Mother and Father may have slightly changed the combination on me"

"More like they never gave it to you"

"I guess this whole unleashing-the-underworld thing isn't really working out for you, huh? It must be really frustrating,

'cause you've waited thousands of years to come back from the dead and everything, and now you can't get it open"

"Fear not, for I shall wait a thousand more if I must, but my dear Amunet you surely know the combination"

"No and even if I did I wouldn't tell you" "Well in a few hours you'll be standing here in a frustrated position, frozen, and I'll walk out of here with my buddies and that'll be that. So, I got all night"

"Larry, shouldn't have told him that" I shake my head

"Really all night? well, he doesn't" Kah points and Jed is in a little cage "open that cage"

"Kah what are you doing?" I ask as the cage opens and Kah picks up Jed

"No touching. No touching. "Don't you manhandle me!"

"Look, he's having a little tantrum"

"Stop it"

"Don't you squirm. Don't squirm. It'll only be worse for you"

"Put him down" Larry shouts

"Don't be afraid"

"Says the man who gave me poison to kill my baby, me and my husband"

"Oh come now, poisoning you to kill that child of yours was never proven. Now, I shan't hurt you" Kah then drops him in a timer "whoops, I lied. I don't think he has all night at all, Mr. Daley. From the looks of things, I'd say he has a little over an hour"

"Why are you doing this?" I ask upset

"You are my brothers wife you should know about the tablet. And you were the guardian so you should also know" Kah takes the tablet and goes over to Larry "you're obviously much more clever

than the rest of us. You may or may not

know the combination, but I am going to give you exactly one hour to figure it out.

If you do not, I shall kill your friends. Well except my beautiful Amunet here at least now she can be mine and I don't have to worry about that idiot brother of mine. Please don't think about escaping,

for I shall be watching you"

"Look, I don't even know how to begin to decipher this thing, all right?"

"Hmm what a pity. Your little cowboy friend seemed like such a charming little fellow. Ah, well. Tick-tock, Mr. Daley. Your hour has begun"

"Hey! You got this, partner. I know you do" Jed yells. Larry looks at me and I go to walk towards him

"Oh no where do you think your going? your staying right here my dear where I can keep an eye on you" Kah pulls me back and forces me to walk over to where his little throne is

"Get your hands off me" I pull my shoulder away from him as Larry leaves.

I sit at the bottom of Kah's throne, he is currently prancing around in a robe

"You know, I do sort of feel like a floating butterfly" I roll my eyes at him

"You are crazier than a road lizard" Jed yells in the hourglass next to me

"Mr. Egypt" I snicker at Ivan's words "these two here heard that we're taking over the world and they want in. I don't know who they are, but they're on exhibit here, too, apparently"

"I don't even know what they are" Kahmunrah walks towards the three.. people? "I'm sorry, but we're all full up in our axis of evil today. Sorry"

"Oh come on! but I'm bad, I'm bad" the green thing in the bin says

"Hey, I could show you how bad I am. Fear me" the green thing tries to growl

"I'm sorry. I'm just not buying it. You don't seem very bad. You just seem sort of vaguely grouchy to me" Kah responds. The one in a black mask and cloak moves his hand up while breathing heavily "what are you doing? what is that? what is this?" Kah makes the hand movement while seeming rather confused, as am I at the moment "what does it mean? you've lost me. Is that you breathing? because I can't hear myself think. Can I make one suggestion to you, my friend? just simplify. There's just too much going on here. You're evil, you're asthmatic, you're a robot... and what is the cape for? are we going to the opera? I don't think so. Sorry! Goodbye"

"Attention!" Napoleon shouts "he's leaving with the tablet" huh? thats Larry's plan to leave with the tablet? maybe he thinks if he takes it far enough away we will freeze, but what about Jed? I get up from my sitting position and walk over to the large window and see if i can see Larry

"He's not trying to figure out the... he's trying to escape. Go. Go. All of you. Kill him and bring me that tablet" Kah orders making me sigh and sit back down to Jed

"Don't worry, it's Larry, he's got a plan" Jed says trying to comfort me and probably himself

"I hope your right Jed"

Next

Previous

[glassprism]

Are there any Christine's, phantoms, or raouls who you really wanted to like for whatever reason, but just... didnt?

Oh boy, controversial opinion time! I'll try to focus on people who are fairly popular within the phandom; technically I've really wanted to like everyone I've watched or listened to, but it's the ones who have a lot of fans praising them that makes me feel more obligated to like them, I suppose?

I will also be eliminating people I used to like but no longer do (so that would include Ramin Karimloo but also people like Jordan Craig and Jay Armstrong Johnson) as well as people I didn't expect to like but who fell even below that expectation (Hadley Fraser, sadly).

Anthony Warlow - I really, really want to like Warlow; I know he is hugely popular amongst phans and especially in Australia, and he has an incredible voice... but oh my gosh, I could not get behind his acting. It felt so over-the-top, so camp, and every time I watch him (admittedly in his World Tour run, there's no video as far as I know of him in his original run), I just want to laugh.

Sierra Boggess - Sierra Boggess was not only an actress I wanted to like, she was one I expected to like. I actually first saw her in a bootleg of The Little Mermaid, and I loved her there (and still do), especially her voice. But her singing in Phantom has always disappointed me, not just her issues with diction, but because I never liked her sort of... thick, throaty quality.

Peter Joback - This man has his devoted fans, but I've watched or listened to him in three different productions (London, Broadway, and Sweden) in an attempt to get behind the hype and he never clicked with me. He always just felt crazy but with no depth.

Norm Lewis - I don't actually dislike Norm Lewis's Phantom (actually, almost everyone on here I don't really dislike, some I even like quite a bit, but it’s not as high as expected), but I've seen people who rank him as one of the best or their favorite Phantoms, and he never hit that level with me. I really wanted to like as well, since he's also the first African-American Phantom on Broadway, but for me, he's always been a Phantom who was good, but not great. But in all fairness, he did not have a long run at all and almost all videos of him are from his first few weeks, so perhaps he'd have improved if he had spent more time as the Phantom.

Ivan Ozhogin - Kind of similar to Joback, except with Ozhogin I thought he was angry but with no depth. I've tried, I've watched him in later videos, I've watched him with other Christines, I know he has his fans, but I've always preferred the other Russian Phantoms (Dmitri Ermak and Andrey Shkoldychenko) over Ozhogin.

Elena Bahtiyarova - Half the time I think people like her only because she has a lot of photos taken of her Christine and looks suitably wistful and sad in all of them. But onstage, that's the only expression she ever had, save for the moments she turned into a Sierra Boggess clone, and despite watching her on multiple videos (including ones where even people who disliked her were like, "Elena is actually good in this one! We were all amazed!"), she's always bored me.

Rodney Ingram - He had quite a few fans back in the day, and I'm not a fan of how abruptly his run was cut short, without much warning given to him if I recall correctly. I think he was also the first Mexican-American Raoul on Broadway? So similar to Norm Lewis, I really, really wanted to like him just for that. But he always came off grouchy at Christine, which is probably the quickest way for me to dislike a Raoul.

Ben Lewis - I almost forgot Ben Lewis! Which might show you what I think of him. Again, I've watched him in LND and tried to enjoy him, I searched for videos of his Phantom and tried to enjoy him, but... eh? His voice is excellent but I never really liked the tone of it, and I find his occasionally bug-eyed acting in LND funny, and his overly aggressive acting Phantom (which, to be fair, was probably the direction he was given) very off-putting. ...But I also have to say that the behavior of some of his most hardcore fans and their inability to take even the lightest criticism of him, also soured him for me.

And I'm sure there's more, but those are the ones I thought of first, and I think there's definitely some controversial ones on there? But I got some things off my chest!

[beeexx]

Part 2 of snippets from Ivan and Fedyor’s season 1 pov. Home is where the heart is.

Loving in a time of war. Read part 1 here. 

Ivan’s slept too little to be awake at this hour. It’s barely morning, the sun is just beginning to paint the sky, but the curtains haven’t been drawn properly and light dances off Fedyor’s sleeping face. They’ve moved during the night, Ivan is facing the door, his back to Fedyor, who has snuggled close, one hand wrapped over his waist and his face in Ivan’s neck, puffs of hot air tickling his skin at the steady rise and fall of his chest. Ivan’s lips twitch into a small smile as he carefully shifts out of Fedyor’s grip and gently places his arm back on the soft silk sheets. He scrunches his face up, like he subconsciously knows Ivan’s out of reach and Ivan reaches out to smooth the wrinkles over, pushing some of his fringe away from his eyes. His hair is soft and unfixed like it’s not often these days and Ivan likes it the best this way, when Fedyor, almost always so open, is even more open, the armour even he wears around the palace is stripped back completely and just there for Ivan to see. 

“It is too early even for you to be awake.” Fedyor murmurs sleepily and blinks his eyes open. He closes them almost immediately again, shielding them from the sun. 

Ivan hums agreeably but considers going outside just the same. He feels restless and his mind is already whirring too much for him to be able to go back to sleep so a walk on the palace grounds when most people haven’t risen yet sounds somewhat appealing to him.

“It is too early for walks too.” Fedyor says like he can read Ivan’s mind and he blindly reaches for Ivan’s arm before he pulls, making Ivan huff. He goes willingly, leaning over him on his elbows.

“Stay.” Fedyor opens his eyes, brown with speckles of golden inside of them and Ivan hums.

“I guess I could be persuaded.” 

Fedyor laughs and looks a little bit more awake immediately, attention fully on Ivan, expression a little smug suddenly. The morning light throws his sharp features into stunning relief and Ivan has yet to see a sight rival this man.  

“Could you now?”

“Depends on the bargain.”

“You know me, I drive a very hard bargain.” Fedyor’s eyes are crinkled up adorably as he tries not to laugh at their ridiculousness but his hand comes to rest on Ivan’s sheek, fingers trailing over his morning scruff. 

Ivan takes his hand in his and kisses each finger reverently and Fedyor’s breath hitches before he grabs Ivan’s face and pulls him down to kiss him roughly. Ivan cuckles against his lips but even when he does it he can feel excitement beginning to pool in his stomach and his toes curl as the kiss grow more heated, the promise of what is about to happen making him feel giddy.

…..

It’s later, in fact probably a lot later when Ivan gets up to get them some water. When he comes back he pushes aside the curtains completely, smiling as the warmth of the sun lingers on his face and takes in the view of the apple orchard that has finally started to bloom. He’s heard that it’s taken it longer than usual this year. 

Fedyor stretches like a lazy cat, sheets tangled in his legs but he accepts the water with a small proud smirk and Ivan rolls his eyes at him. 

“You want me to heal that?” He asks and pushes the pad of his thumb against the love bite on Fedyor’s throat. The kefta won’t be able to fully hide it, it will peek through if he moves his head, which Fedyor is very obviously aware of. 

“No.” Fedyor says simply and Ivan nods. “Do you want me to heal those?” Eyes sparkle with mirth as his own hand trails further down to Ivan’s neckline, dotted with little marks from their earlier love making.

“No.” He mirrors Fedyor’s words and Fedyor smiles, pleased. 

“Thought so.”

“We’re late.” Ivan comments but makes little indication he’s going to move away.

“Are we?” Fedyor drawls, aware that they are. 

“Yes.” 

“No one would notice.” Fedyor moves to sit behind him, placing a sloppy kiss on his shoulder blade.

Ivan snorts 

“We both know that’s not true.” But he leans into Fedyor’s touch anyway, his eyes falling shut instantly. 

“Well it’s not the first time we’ve been late…”

“No, I recall those other times vividly.” His tone is pointed and Fedyor chuckles against his skin.

“My love, I think you might need to get your head checked, because if you recall correctly you had a bit of a trouble streak back in the day.” It makes Ivan chuckle because while that might be true, Ivan always managed to get away with it back in the day, his reputation of orderly and seriousness serving him well. Less so for Fedyor who got the blame, he took it with a secret little smile and never corrected anyone so the assumptions that Fedyor was the one behind it stuck. He turns his head and angles it so he can capture Fedyor’s mouth in a hot searing kiss, never getting enough of him, not even after years together. He messes up Fedyor’s hair and he shifts slightly, Fedyor’s hand coming to rest on his chest again, responding to the way Ivan’s heart is beating under his palm. 

“Good thing I am older and wiser and know not to be late anymore.” He says against Fedyor’s lip before he draws back. Fedyor’s huffs and opens his eyes, brown eyes dark before he frowns and plops down on the bed, frustrated. It makes Ivan laugh and Fedyor waves his hand in retaliation sending blood to the lower regions of Ivan’s body causing him to suck in a sharp breath. Fedyor giggles and Ivan sighs. 

“Fine.” He agrees and climbs back into bed, his husband’s delighted face worth all the trouble they will get for this.

…..

Ivan doesn’t often get a moment to himself these days. He rarely has time off and even when he does have some time to do what he wants he’s rarely alone. But he’s more tired than he’s been letting on and a moment to himself is what he needs. He’s found a secluded spot on the palace grounds, by the lake but off from the common path and not visible if you don’t know where it is. There are birds singing in the treetops and the wind that keeps rustling the leaves is a comforting sound to his ears. 

He exhales. 

A twig snaps suddenly and Ivan freezes for a moment, hands raised the next, ready to defend himself against enemies. It turns out it’s just Zoya, who is clearly fuming as she walks angrily towards the clearing, sending leaves in all directions as she walks.

“I regret ever telling you about this place.” Ivan mutters. She stops, her furious expression slipping for a moment as she spots him before she scowls at him. If there was anyone in the little palace that could rival Ivan in scowling it would be Zoya. He ignores her in favour of closing his eyes, focusing on his breathing to get the moment of serenity back.

But Zoya seems to have other plans and the wind around them come back stronger and colder in a very unpleasant way as she keeps taking her anger out on the environment.

“If you don’t stop this right now I will burst a blood vessel in your brain.” He warns without opening his eyes and the wind abates around them. She stops using her powers to take out her anger, instead she stomps around and growls in frustration like a goddamned child. It is almost as annoying as her earlier tantrum. 

“Saints, can you go have a tantrum somewhere else?” He snaps, his patience all but gone. She glares and kicks a rock before she saunters over and drops herself down unceremoniously onto the bench by his side.

“It was not an invitation for you to sit.” He grumbles but moves anyway to make more room for her. 

“Good thing I don’t care what you think.” She snaps at him and he bites his twitching lips. Despite how extremely annoying Zoya can be Ivan likes her well enough from time to time. 

They both sit quietly for a while and it’s peaceful enough that Ivan forgets she’s there for a moment. Until she groans again.

“Aren’t you going to ask what is wrong?”

“Do I look like I care?” She rolls her eyes.

“If you want sympathy go find someone else to bother.”

“I am realising it was a seriously grave mistake to find you of all people, I should have gone for Fedyor, at least he is sane enough to like me.”

“You will hear no arguments from me.”

She gives him an imperious look that Ivan ignores. 

“What are you even doing here?” She asks instead.

“Trying to get some peace.”

“What, here?”

“Isn’t that the same reason you are here? To get away?”

“Maybe.”

“You are getting predictable Zoya.”

“It was this or shove Alina Starkov into the mud.”

That makes Ivan chuckle unexpectedly and Zoya smirks. 

“Impressive restraint on your end.”

“Oh I’m nothing if not impressive.”

“She is not worth the trouble you’ll get in.” He offers her and she rolls her eyes. 

“Says the one already in favour of the General.”

“I worked hard for that position.”

“So did I.”

“Well maybe you should start looking elsewhere for whatever it is that you want.” Her eyes narrow and the air vibrates between them in her fury.

“Maybe I should hurl you into the lake, that might make me feel better.”

“I’ll put you to sleep before you’ll even have the chance to move.” He doesn’t spare her a second glance, she’ll know the threat is real enough. She sighs before she grows silent, staring out onto the water, eyes distant.

“I worked hard to get where I am Ivan, every day I pushed myself harder to get stronger, better, faster and here she swoops in, all muddy and afraid and suddenly everyone loves her, I don’t get what everyone sees in her.” It’s a rare moment of vulnerability from her he’s not too used to seeing. 

Zoya is younger than both him and Fedyor and Fedyor had taken to the angry girl immediately when she came to the palace. She had warmed fast to him, everyone did, but it had taken a nasty incident with some older Corporalki girls where Ivan had stepped in that had made him and Zoya friends. Ivan might be stubborn, hard working and grouchy at times but he did appreciate stubbornness and commitment which she clearly possessed. She averaged fast when she got here and that didn’t go unnoticed by some older students who didn’t appreciate it and had chosen her as an easy target to take out their failings on.

He had held his hand out to her where she was sitting against the wall, her face downcast as she wiped furiously at her eyes. 

“I don’t want your help.” She had said, her voice steely.

“Good thing I’m not offering you help then.” He had answered her, just as curt, but his hand was still there between them and she had narrowed her eyes before she had let him help her up. She dusted off her kefta and Ivan had watched the smaller girl pull herself together, her pain masked behind a face of indifference. Fedyor would comfort her, offer up some great advice or something. He wasn’t Fedyor. 

“I’d say to keep up what you’re doing at least, the best revenge is success.”

She had studied his face for a moment and he hadn’t smiled or really given any indication that he cared, but a small smile curled at her lips anyways.

“Terrible advice, I already know I am better than those girls.” That made him grin though.

“Doesn’t hurt to hear it every now and then.”

“No, it does not.” She said more somber. She didn’t thank him and he didn’t need it, but something did pass between them that made them understand one another better and the small stubborn girl that didn’t give up had carved out a place in his heart. 

“Hope, that’s what they see.” He says, bringing himself back to the moment.

Zoya furrows her brows.

“It’s not something I can compete with.” She mumbles, a little sadly. Ivan sighs, his treacherous heart twinging in his chest.

“No, but maybe you shouldn’t.”

“It’s not my way to give up.”

“It’s wise to know which battles to fight and which to not.”

“I know which battles to fight.” 

“Zoya…” He begins, clears his throat from the soft voice that has slipped through. He starts again. “Chasing after the General will do you no good.”

She narrows her eyes again.

“What would you know about chasing?”

That makes Ivan laugh and it catches Zoya completely off guard for a moment, her eyes widening in surprise.

“Did you just… laugh?”

“You said something very funny.”

“Saints, I can barely make you smile on a good day and now you’re suddenly laughing?”

“Do you often try to make me smile?” 

She scoffs and rolls her eyes at him before she averts them to hide what Ivan thinks might be a faint blush. 

“Shut up.”

“Gladly, I would like to return to my peaceful moment.”

“Will you tell me about your history of chasing or shall I have go to Fedyor to get that information?”

“Fedyor would keep my secrets from you.” She rolls her eyes.

“He would…” She says after a while. 

The birds have gone back to their twittering and he enjoys the sounds of the alive forest around him. 

“You’re lucky to have him.” Her voice edges on wistful in its sadness as she interrupts the moment yet again. 

“I am.” He admits because it is the truth. 

“I would like you to tell me how you met.”

“That will never happen.” 

She chuckles.

“I will get the story out of you one day Ivan, I just need to find the right bribing material.”

“That will take you a lifetime malen'kiy.” The old nickname slipping through. 

She smiles brilliantly at him and Ivan offers one back in return.

…..

Ivan is in their room when Fedyor comes back, sitting down, in the process of shaving. 

“I hear you let the sun summoner out of your sight today.” He comments, meeting Fedyor’s eyes in the mirror. His husband at least has the decency to look a little bit guilty before he shrugs and comes forward, wrapping his arms around Ivan’s shoulders. 

“It wasn’t so serious. She just wanted to see the acrobats. Besides, Genya was with her at all times.”

“I see.” He drawls, unimpressed. Fedyor shakes his head, a little peeved. 

“Love do you not remember being young? Wanting to be free, have some fun?” He raises a pointed eyebrow, voice a little stern and Ivan’s demeanor falters for a moment as a small little smile slips through at the memories.  

“Oh I remember.”

“We used to get in so much trouble.” Fedyor giggles, his annoyance forgotten as he places a kiss on top of Ivan’s head. 

“Yes and whose fault was that?” 

“Oh I remember your trouble making streak darling.” Ivan grins and goes back to the task at hand, not admitting anything. 

“She was fine you know.” Fedyor says after a while. Ivan grunts as a reply and Fedyor rolls his eyes, a little fondly. 

“I think it did her some good too.”

“Well she should be focusing on practicing her powers rather than avoiding duties and having fun.”

“What a boring life it would be, to not have any fun.” Fedyor says and spins the chair Ivan is sitting in around before he graciously sits down in Ivan’s lap, plucking the shaver out of his hand. 

“Some people could do with less fun.” He comments drily but lets Fedyor continue with the shaving. 

“Some with more.” 

Ivan huffs. 

“She could have gotten in trouble, then all the preparations for the future would have been wasted.”

“Well I told her off if it makes you feel any better. I tried out my impression of you, worked wonders.” Fedyor’s eyes spark like they do when he’s proud of himself, the joy so contagious Ivan can’t bear to be disgruntled. 

“Oh, that I am impressed by my dearest husband.” He is in fact a little proud. Fedyor grins.

“And, ah, I also think the General is quite fond of her, don’t you think?”

Ivan rolls his eyes. 

“I’m sure she won’t even get in trouble for her little rebellious act, in fact I think he’s a little bit impressed by her.”

“I’m sure it’s not the only thing he’s impressed by.” Ivan mutters and Fedyor laughs.

“My my, is that jealousy I detect?” 

“Don’t be stupid, I do not harbour any jealous feelings of the sun summoner, I am not Zoya for saint’s sake.” Fedyor only laughs harder and puts the shaver up to Ivan’t shin. 

“No, it would be quite unlikely of you to feel jealous when it comes to women.”

“They are not my type.”

“Oh I’m well aware.” Fedyor smirks and Ivan thinks of pushing him off his lap but he doesn’t want to risk getting his throat cut so he tightens his arms around Fedyor instead and Fedyor smiles sweetly before he continues with a ridiculous precision and care he will only extend to Ivan. 

“So, all done.” Fedyor says after a while and takes the towel from the sink, wiping his face clean. 

“Good. Thank you.” 

Ivan’s eyes travel to the newly arrived keftas hanging by the massive wardrobe and he can’t help but frown. Fedyor puts his finger on the scowl and smooths it over.

“No grimaces when there is a party happening.” He chides without any heat and Ivan’s eyes move over to his face instead. 

“You only want to attend this party because of the sweets my love.” 

“Ah there are going to be so many baked goods there.” Fedyor says excitedly. 

“Only you will get this excited over the prospect of sweets.”

“That is because there is nothing quite in this world that can rival sweets.”

Ivan lifts an eyebrow making Fedyor laugh.

“I said quite.” He defends with a laugh and Ivan stands up, wrapping his arms around his husband's waist and places a kiss on his nose. Fedyor’s legs wrap around him in return and his arms come to rest around his neck. 

“Come on, let’s get ready for your party then.” Ivan says with Fedyour’s laughter in his ears. 

[gale-gentlepenguin]

ML Fic: Soulmate Survey Part 1

(Link to the idea) that made me want to write it instead of working on my OTHER FICS.

(Master post)

_______________________________________________________________________

“Soulmate Searcher?” Marinette questioned with intrigue and confusion.

“Its an app that just got a global release!” Alya answered. “At first it was only released in America, but it became a huge hit and now it has international servers.”

The designer looked at her friend with even more confusion.

“So why is it so popular? And why did you want me to install it on my phone?” Marinette inquired.

“Its an app that lets you find the special someone who is your significant other. Alya explained. “Its a tried and true compatibility tester.”

Marinette’s intrigue dissipated, in her mind it was just like those cheesy magazine quizzes they put in magazines to see which celebrity  you would marry. Marinette had long outgrown that phase, especially when last time she took one it did not say she would be paired with Adrien but XY! Gross. 

“Oh. Well count me out. Those quizzes are just a load of...”

“No way lady dude.” Nino chimed in. “This thing is legit. It has the highest matchmaking app back in the States and it is like down to a science and stuff.”

Marinette looked at the DJ skeptically.

Alya placed her hand on her shoulder.

“ It is more then just a personality quiz. You put in your name, your age, dating age range, preference, and so on, and then you answer a bunch of questions that allows the app to gage your personality, mentality and emotional impulse. Then after thats done, it will match you with the top 10 people who have the highest compatibility with you in a 50 mile radius. You can see percentage rates and everything. Then you can decide if you want to message any of the people on the list or block them. They can only see your name, photo and the percentage.” Alya detailed.

“So then all a person needs to do is know what your answers are and copy them.”

“An interesting Hypothesis but sadly incorrect.” Max answered from behind the group.

“Sorry to intrude, but I too had my doubts about the app until I learned about how the app’s algorithm worked. All questions given are randomized and answering the questions the exact same way even if someone did get the same questions does not guarantee 100% compatibility. I made several dummy accounts and rigged them in order to make them both have identical questions and answers, but they did not achieve 100% compatibility.” The class egghead began to explain. 

“Having run the test numerous times with numerous accounts, the algorithm matches people with similar beliefs but not identical,  as having too much in common does not mean soul mate, it can be seen as suffocating. I have not yet cracked the theorem of how to get 100%. The highest I have been able to get is 93%.  It is as if it is a perfect formula for compatibility.” Max concluded.

Marinette had to admit her interest was peeked.

“So its a one time questionnaire and then done?” Marinette pressed with more interest.

“Well the first questionnaire takes an hour or two so it has enough data for a base compatibility profile. Then you answer 10 questions every day for 2 weeks to reaffirm any errors it might have made. Thats how the App is so successful. After about 2 weeks, your profile will be established. It was able to cut the margin of error down to 1.9%” Max exclaimed. “Its the pinnacle of mathematical perfection.”

“Thanks dude, couldn't have explained it better... really.” Nino thanked the robot enthusiast.

“Anytime, now I must head off. Markov and I have more tests to run.” Max head out and left the three teens to their own devices.

Marinette thought about it, she really didn't have much to lose trying it out.

“I even got Adrien to install it. He said he will fill it out after fencing.” Alya Whispered.

Marinette realized she had to do it. What if Adrien was on the app and some other girl had a high compatibility with him before she had a chance to try it. What if he fell in love with that mystery girl, got married and then bought a hamster!?

“Okay, I will take the quiz.” Marinette exclaimed with Confidence.

“Atta girl!”

______________________________________________________________________

Marinette had gone with Alya back to the Dupain Bakery in order to answer the questions in peace.

In Marinette’s room, Alya was relaxing as she watched the Designer answer the questions as honestly as possible.

“Now Girl, odds are the percentage maybe around the 70% mark, But Knowing you and Adrien, I bet you two will make it into the 80′s.” Alya answered.

Marinette nodded, half listening as she focused on answering.

“Nino and I got an 85%, which was pretty high. Ivan and Myléne only got a 79%. So no worries even if its in the 70′s”

“DONE!” Marinette exclaimed as she fell back. She was mentally exhausted. The questions were surprisingly more in depth then she expected.

She pressed submit and waited. Staring at her phone as it ‘processed her answers’

Alya stood up walking over to the bluish-black haired designer.

“Well.”

The list popped up.

Marinette scrolled through from 10 to 1. No Adrien. She felt herself sigh deeply.

“He isn't on it...” Marinette spoke defeated.

Alya took a look.

“Sorry girl, It might be he hasn't uploaded his profile yet.” Alya tried to encourage her friend who was burying her head in her pillow. 

“You think?”

“He is a busy guy, but also, you need to see who is number one on the list. A certain guitarist you happen to be fond off.” Alya said with a smile.

Marinette pulled her head up and took her phone. Sure enough, it was Luka who was number one on the list. He had an 80% compatibility rating with her, which was at least 20% higher then the guy in second place. Maybe this was a sign that she should move on from Adrien and ask Luka out.

“Maybe I should message Luka, If he believes in this sort of thing.” Marinette spoke with a blush on her face.

Alya nodded.

“Do what you think is right girl, Adrien or not, you deserve a guy that will make you happy.” 

“Thanks Alya, you are the best.” Marinette smiled sweetly at her best friend.

She clicked on the profile. The pop up asked if she would like to message the user Luka Couffaine.

Marinette paused, she was nervous about doing this. It was as if this was her crossroads. Would she go for it?

_____________________________________________________________________

“DONE!” Adrien exclaimed as he fell back on his bed. He was mentally exhausted as well as physically. He told Alya he would try out the app as soon as he was free from fencing.

“I don't get why you even bothered with those dumb questions.” A grouchy floating cat creature commented.

“Its an in depth Compatibility test Plagg. This could be the best way of finding My lady.”

Plagg looked at the model with skepticism.

“What makes you think that you would be matched up with Ladybug? You don't even know who she is.” 

“We are soulmates, so obviously we will have the highest compatibility.” Adrien answered with confidence as he sat up.

Plagg rolled his eyes.

“You do know just because you were picked to be the cat miraculous wielder doesn't mean your soulmate is ladybug. There have been Ladybug’s and Chat noir’s that haven't gotten together.”

“It isn't because we were chosen together. I can just feel it Plagg. I know we are meant to be. And if for some reason the girl with the highest compatibility with me isn't Ladybug, I will still likely find someone that I can find myself liking. But knowing my Lady, she and I will have a compatibility of 85 maybe even 90%” Adrien answered with a loving sigh. “Oh, its ready.”

Adrien smiles at his phone before looking at the list.

“Oh Kagami is on here. 79% Thats pretty good. But she is only number two? Huh, so then who is number one?” Adrien spoke aloud as he scrolled. As he saw the name that was number one his face turned beet red and and he fell back on the bed.

“Adrien!?” Plagg exclaimed as he flew to the frozen blond. “What happen.... oh no Fucking way.”

_______________________________________________________________________

Marinette was about to press the button when another pop up appeared.

“List updated?”

Marinette clicked out of Luka’s profile and noticed he was now at second place.

“Luka got moved to second.” Marinette spoke with surprise.

“What? Then whose first?”

Marinette scrolled up. Her eyes went Wide.

“ADRIEN!?!?” Marinette shouted.

Alya smiled.

“I knew it! I told you he would be on your list! And Number one to boot. So what  is the percentage. 82? 85% Like Nino and I?”

“100...” Marinette spoke hardly audible.

Alya couldn't hear.

“How much?”

Marinette turned her phone to Alya.

Alya’s jaw dropped.

“1.... 100%!!!!!!!!!!”

_______________________________________________________________________

Plagg could not contain his laugher. The blond was still frozen staring at his screen. Adrien had no idea how right he was. His Lady and him were perfect for each other. Plagg was absolutely loving every second of this. 

“P-Plagg.”

The black cat managed to calm down.

“Ye Ha HA! Yea Adrien?” Plagg responded between laughing fits.

“Marinette is Ladybug.”

Plagg sobered up quick.

“What... What makes you say that?” Plagg spoke, trying his best and failing at hiding the fact that Adrien was right. Thankfully Adrien was too out of it to notice.

Plagg pauses.

“Ladybug is my soulmate, Marinette scored perfect compatibility with me  on the soulmate app. Even with error included, the chances of that happening are…”

“It’s a silly quiz.” Plagg shouted. Tikki would kill him if Adrien found out at the wrong time. He had to play dumb.

Adrien thought about it, maybe he was overthinking it, plus Alya and Nino scored around 85%. Maybe the system was glitching out? 100% was unheard off according to what he found about the app, even with people who tried it and have been married for decades.

“I guess you are right… Besides, you answer questions each day, the percentages will shift. Maybe the system will correct itself, though I should ask Marinette what her thoughts are about the match up tomorrow. Though... even if it isn't Ladybug... Marinette is a pretty nice person to have good compatibility with.”

Adrien felt himself entertaining the thought of him and Marinette together. It seemed really, really nice. He found himself blushing at the thought. He quickly shook the thought off. He was getting ahead of himself. What if Marinette didn't feel the same way he did? What if Luka saw the compatibility score that Marinette got with him and decided not to date Marinette because of it. Marinette does really like that musician, what if Marinette hates him for ruining her chance at happiness!?

Adrien took a calming breath. He won't say anything, the app still needs to fine tune his profile. he is sure it will correct itself if it needs to within the two weeks, after that, he will look into it.

“I am sure that things will fix themselves.” Adrien said as he turned away from the cat Kwami, though part of him really hoped that the 100% would stay.

_______________________________________________________________________

THERE I FINISHED part 1

If you want part two, please let me know. I love hearing feedback and it feeds my impulsive need to write.

[bsidethetrees]

Parenthood: Mages and Masters

It wasn't as if Makarov didn't realize it. For some time, in fact, he'd known it. He was, as everyone was, dying. His race towards it, however, was nearing the finish line.

And though he'd resisted it at first, the best place for his final years was very much so in his grandson's home, where his great-grandsons and granddaughter-in-law were living. He honestly hadn't enjoyed his time away from the guild since, well, quite honestly, since Laxus was a boy. And even then, not nearly as much. He was dealing with the stress of Ivan and Laxus' well-being at time, which put a strain on things.

With Pike and Nathan, however, there was none of that. He'd do his duties down at the hall (or at least a limited version of them), before going back to the house to spend the day with his great-grandsons, playing and watching the eldest learn magic. Then there was the boy's cousin, Mace, who wasn't any blood relation to Makarov, but he didn't have to be. Those associated with Fairy Tail had been his family for so long, that it wasn't hard to just drag someone else into the mix. Especially someone that was so sweet as him.

Makarov spent as much time as he could with the three of them, sneaking junk food from Mirajane or staying up late in the old man's room, reading comics or watching movies on the lacrima. And even though at times his bones were stiff or his body was sore, the elderly man was always up for a walk around the block with them and their faithful mutt who, honestly, was on the wrong side middle age himself. For as much animosity as Laxus and the mutt had (or at least pretended to), he and Makarov were the exact opposite. He loved the old thing dearly.

Then again, it's not like his great-grandchildren would let him feel any other way.

Honestly, Makarov couldn't think of a single thing to add to his final years. Perhaps a woman, but short of that, he was pretty much set. He'd spend his mornings with Mirajane and the younger boys, eating breakfast and getting ready for the day before heading down to the guildhall. Shuffle through so papers, listen to the random disputes between guild members that might sprout up, hit on some of the younger women, get scolded by Mirajane, and be home by noon for lunchtime (and nap time, for him, mainly). Everything after that was always different, yet mostly the same. Just him and his boys.

What more could he ask for?

A granddaughter, apparently.

He'd never really known that he was missing another grandchild until she was there. Just having Nate, honestly, had been somewhat of a blessing, considering the start of his life didn't involve Laxus at all and, even when it did, it was with the intention of giving him away. Even once that all got resolved, Makarov had no way of knowing that Mirajane and Laxus would, eventually, have another son together. And Pike was just too perfect for words. Paired with Nate (and Mace, when he was around) Makarov was completely and utterly content.

But he didn't object at all to the addition of Ivory to his life.

Or Egg, rather, as Nate would insist that he called her. Quite forcefully.

"She likes that name better, Gramps," he'd complain if he caught him calling her by her proper name. "Egg. Don't you, Egg?"

He'd agree, of course, for the boy's sake. Honestly, Makarov was less interested in the new baby's name and, rather, just the idea of her in general. He'd never raised a daughter and, excluding the pseudo parenting he did down at the hall, had no experience in the like. And though he, obviously, wasn't raising any of his great-grandchildren (Mirajane and Laxus were quite competent in most aspects, more than making up for Ivan and the way he was with his son), he did have a big hand in rearing them. Laxus was quite the disciplinarian and a rather grouchy when the time called for it, something that, when he was dealing with his own son, Makarov found useful as well.

Not with Nate and Pike though. Oh no. He was always protecting them and commenting on Laxus' behavior towards them. The man in no way was unloving or abusive, but at times, he could be a bit much. And if the elderly man had played advocate for Laxus when he was a child and Ivan was being horrible, then he was downright a scapegoat for Pike and Nathan. He didn't like to see them punished for anything.

Anything.

It was rather doleful at times, as he would hold Ivory, and come to realize that more than likely, he wouldn't have those moments with her. He'd never have a chance to protect her from her father or mother's punishments for not sharing or poking her brother in the eye. Not have to cover for her when she spilled a drink all over the kitchen floor.

Because he wouldn't be there. At best, he had another good three years, but more than likely…

Nate and Pike were old enough that they'd already formed so many memories of the man that he was sure they'd carry him with them for the rest of their lives, but Ivory was just a baby. Ruefulness didn't even begin to describe how he felt when he considered that, though she meant so much to him in those final years, he wouldn't mean a thing to her.

So he didn't think about it. Or at least he didn't try to. The finality of death was rather morose on its own; no need to add to the ambiance of it all.

Besides, he frequently reminded himself, he wasn't doing it to be remembered. He didn't spend his days with them so that one day they'd all fondly recall it. Rather, he did it because he cared. Because he loved them. They were his legacy. Fairy Tail would, inevitably, change hands and another Master would begin his or her reign, effacing the Makarov Dreyar era. But his grandchildren? Nothing would take him out of them.

Nothing.

"What's wrong, Master?" Mirajane asked one morning after breakfast. She'd sent the boys off to go get dressed and for Nate to take a shower (he'd been stark against it the night before but, that morning, Mirajane was all business about it). "Are you okay?"

He was still sitting at the kitchen table, Ivory cradled in his arms. She had been up, as Mirajane had just fed and changed her, but drifted back off at some point. No doubt fearful of waking her once more, the man wasn't moving.

That wasn't what tipped the takeover mage off that something was up, however. Rather, it was the dour expression on the man's face as he stared down at his newest grandchild.

"Nothing, my dear. I just..."

"You have to get down to the hall," Mirajane gently reminded, though she didn't come over to take Ivory away. Only stayed over at the sink, where she was washing dishes. "Or are you not up for that this morning?"

"It's not… It's my chest, I think. I-"

"Not your heart," Mirajane interrupted, turning quickly to stare over at him, nearly dropping the plate in her hand at the same time. "Master? Do you need to go to-"

"Nothing like that," he was quick to assure her, glancing up. "It's only… I just need a day, is all. Do you think that you could take care of things at the-"

"Of course." Still, she didn't turn around. "But if you're not feeling well, please, let me take you to-"

"I promise you," he said, tone taking over that authoritative tone that she'd grown up with. "I am fine. I just need the day off, is all."

"Anything you want, Master."

He glanced back down at Ivory then, but still spoke to the baby's mother. "Thank you. I'll watch the-"

"Laxus is home," Mirajane reminded the man. "He just got back from his job late last night, is all, and still asleep. He'll watch the boys. And I'm sure with Elfman off that he'll come by to get them eventually and take them somewhere with Mace. You don't need to worry about anything."

Which was one of those things that was easier said than done. Still, Makarov nodded slightly as, to his surprise (and slight dismay) Ivory opened her eyes lazily. Their voices had no doubt disturbed her and, for a moment, he held his breath, ready for one of her loud wails that only a child of her age could make.

Instead, she just laid there, staring up at him he liked to pretend, but really nothing. At six months old, she was pretty content around the people in the house at that point. Mostly just Mirajane, but she seemed to recognize her father and brothers as well. Not to mention her Gramps.

That sneaky mutt, however, she was still extremely suspicious of. Especially when he started up that godawful barking. Ugh.

Makarov hardly noticed when Mirajane left the still unwashed dishes behind and went out of the room for a bit. It wasn't until Laxus appeared in the kitchen in her place that he knew what she'd done.

"Hey, Gramps," Laxus yawned, walking over to the man in some sleeping pants, scratching at his chest while he was at it. "You doin' alright this morn-"

"Your wife," he said simply as Ivory finally made some noise of discomfort, just from the sound of her father's voice, "is overreacting."

"What are you talkin' about?" Laxus wasn't as considerate as Mirajane and only came to take Ivory from the man at the sound of her cries. "I just got up and figured I'd come see what's for breakfast. And you were here so I-"

"Don't patronize me, Laxus. I know full well what you're-"

"You told the woman that your chest hurt," he pointed out, glancing down at Ivory before back at the man. "What did you want her to do?"

"That's out of context."

"If you're not sick or something-"

"I'm not."

''cause I don't want you dyin' in this house," Laxus told him with a frown. "I mean it, Gramps."

"Laxus!" they both heard from the living room where Mirajane was no doubt eavesdropping. "That is not something you should ever say!"

Still, the man only leaned down to nuzzle his head against the whining Ivory's gently before glancing at his grandfather again. He stared for a moment and seemed about ready to say something, but thought better of it, and only walked off.

Makarov wasn't alone for long, however (no one in that house ever was, really), as Pike, all dressed for the day, returned to join him at the table.

"Hi, Gramps," he greeted. "Do you wanna come play hide-and-seek with me? Before Nate gets out of the shower?"

On the end it was implied, of course, that once the older boy did, whatever they played would be at his discretion and therefore only gave them a short period of time to do what Pike wanted, so of course, the man agreed, slowly getting to his feet.

"You don't have to go to work?" Pike asked the man as, after being instructed to, he went to go stand in the corner of the kitchen and count. "Gramps?"

"Not today," he told him with a slight sigh. "I think I'm gonna spend the whole day playing with you. Would you like that?"

Immensely.

Nate was roped into the game rather quickly when he finished his shower, seemingly in a good mood that day. And things went well for a good hour. Mirajane, though rather apprehensive over it, left the household in Laxus' (somewhat) capable hands and headed out for the hall. Then the slayer just took Ivory with him back to bed and grumbled out something about not completely wrecking the place.

Honestly, Makarov thought that was the end of things for them.

Oh, if only he could be that lucky.

No one knew her family better than Mirajane and, to no surprise, Mace and Elfman did come by for the boys eventually and both went without a second thought. Nate, of course, wanted to do something fun and Pike, who usually was rather attached to his house, where things were safe, felt extremely comfortable around his uncle and only waved Gramps goodbye as he followed after them.

The man's mind was still bothering him a bit and he just didn't feel like making an appearance down at the hall that day. Instead, he headed back to his bedroom and, for awhile, just laid around on his bed, thinking. He must have fallen asleep at some point (he did that a lot), because next thing he knew, he was being joined in the room by the house's other future haunt, the dog.

And he just came to rest at the end of Makarov's bed and join him in a nap. Not much else for the two of them to do that day, it seemed.

It wasn't until late in the afternoon, when the man got up to find something to eat and encountered his grandson in the living room, watching the movie lacrima as Ivory sat in his lap, babbling a bit, that he even spoke to someone again.

"Good, you're up," was all Laxus said as he stood, abandoning the lacrima to go and gently pass Ivory off onto her grandfather. "I wanted to catch a quick shower, but she fusses every time I put her down. Think you can-"

"Of course," Makarov said, glancing down at the girl who, in his arms, made no move to even begin fussing. "I was just going to go make something to-"

"Let's go out to lunch," Laxus said suddenly. It should have been enough of a tip off to the old man that something was up, but he was so hungry that he didn't say anything. "Work some more on taking Ivory out in public, anyhow. You just cry so much at crowds, don't you, baby?"

And then the man patted his child on her head, messing up her tuff of white hair, before grunting at his grandfather and turning off to go grab that shower.

That was where he got trapped though, Makarov did. Because out at a patio cafe, with Ivory sitting in a highchair next to them, mostly just making a mess with the little bit of his mashed potatoes Laxus had sat in front of her (she'd just recently started solids and it seemed to be something she liked a lot) that the slayer said anything.

"You know, Gramps," he began as the old man mostly picked at his meal. He'd thought that he was hungry, but apparently not nearly as much as he'd assumed. Laxus, who had a full meal going over there (he'd just returned from a job; if he wanted to treat himself, damn it, he would, steak and all), picked up his beer and took a sip before saying, "Whatever's bothering you, it's best to just tell me. Else Mirajane'll keep hounding at you until-"

"There's nothing," his grandfather complained with a heavy frown, "wrong with me. Honestly, what is wrong with you kids? This is exactly why I did not wish to come stay with you. You're constantly in my business. I-"

"Calm down." Laxus was back to cutting at his steak. "I don't really care." As Makarov blinked, the slayer went on. "I just know that the demon will. You're not a little kid. I get it, alright? You're all...upset about having to give the guild hall up-"

"W-What?"

"Gramps, I mean, come on, it's obvious," the man went, seemingly at ease. "You're getting ready to hand the guild down to someone and you… You're nervous. I get that. About giving it to her. And that's fine. I don't care. I don't want it. I-"

"W-Wait, Laxus," his grandfather said, holding up at hand. "You think… Who do you think that I'm giving the guildhall to exactly?"

"Ain't it obvious?" He shrugged. "Erza, right? Makes sense."

"Laxus-"

"I don't care, Gramps. I know that Mirajane has you all convinced that, like, I'm going to be crushed or that this is my dream or something stupid like that, but there's no way that I could do it, you know? Give up taking my S-Class jobs to run this damn hall. For one, I've seen the jewels you rake in. Not nearly up to my standards."

"L-Laxus-"

"And I like to travel," he went on. "A lot. And get away from the house. I mean, don't get me wrong; I don't like leaving the demon out numbered with the boys and this one over here." And he even reached over to gently pat Ivory on the head who only giggled in response. "But I ain't a home dweller. And I know what I went through, what Ivan went through, with you being Master. I ain't gonna do that to my boys. I'mma be out there with them, on jobs. Not sitting around makin' rules and ruinin' their lives. I'm a mage, not a master."

For a moment Makarov could only sit there and stare. What could he say to that? Quite honestly, he'd long figured all of those things out. Erza wasn't even in consideration. He was going to hand the hall over to Laxus and make sure that, if things got too bad with him at the helm, Mirajane figured some way to get him out of the position and take over herself. Or appoint someone to the job.

But if Laxus didn't even want it…

"What?" his grandson asked when he only stared. "Was that not what was botherin' you?'

"No," Makarov said slowly. "Not at all."

It was, finally, Laxus turn to blink. Then he frowned.

"You weren't the least bit torn up about it then?" he asked with a slight snarl. The noise made Ivory stop playing in the potatoes and look to her father curiously. "That you were just going to hand the job over to Erza and skip over me without a single thought-"

"I was going to give you the hall, you dullard," Makarov told him. "But now that you don't want it, yes, I suppose I do have that to worry about as well. Thank you so much for-"

"You were giving me the hall?"

"Yes! Your wife has told me a thousand times about how you want it and-"

"And I've told her a thousand times that I don't. She just think that I'm only saying that to save face."

"Yes, well, perhaps that is something the two of you should get on the same page about, huh?" Makarov sat back in his seat in defeat. "So now I have to worry about my hall as well? That is just great."

Laxus still just stared. "If that's not what's bothering you then-"

"I said nothing was."

"Gramps-"

"And how egotistical of you to think that I would even consider your feelings in such a matter."

But Laxus didn't want to talk about that anymore. Shifting forwards in his chair, he stared hard at the man.

"What's wrong with you then? Gramps?" And his voice was soft as he stared over at the man. "Just tell me."

For a moment, they both only sat there, Makarov looking anywhere, but at his grandson. Then, slowly, he sighed before saying, "It is truly nothing. I am only… You do not understand what it is like, Laxus, to know that all of your friends are… There's no way for you to."

"Oh." And the slayer sat up then, stifled a bit, before saying, "I didn't realize you were feeling so… I mean, Gramps-"

"I'm not fearful of death," the man went on. "Of course."

"Of course."

"Recently, however, things have just felt rather-"

"I know that you're bored, Gramps," Laxus told him with a sigh. "And that we've been asking a lot of you with the kids. It's just-"

"It's not that at all." Just like that, the elderly man was lifting his head to stare at his grandson with wide eyes. "At all. I-"

"You don't gotta be so nice about it," he said. "I know that since Ivory got here we've been leaning too much on you and the boys-"

"There's nowhere I'd rather be right now than with them." And he meant it. "Rather, I've been feeling… It's something that you cannot comprehend yet, but to know that their lives are just beginning while mine is ending..."

Laxus, completely out of his element and, honestly, wishing that he'd left Mirajane to such a thing, shifted in his seat before saying, "Why would you think of that, Gramps? You're not, like, in dire straits right now or-"

"No more than usual."

"Then why even think about it? Huh?"

"Because, Laxus, there's no way to know that I'll know how close I am to...to...before it happens," the man told him, slightly exasperated with the conversation. "It could be tonight or tomorrow-"

"And I could die tonight or tomorrow or even in the next few minutes," his grandson argued. "So-"

"It's not the same."

"It is too." Laxus sat up straighter then. "I go out nearly weekly, Gramps, on S-Class jobs that I know that I might not come home from. Really, truly, deep down, I know that I'm not invincible, no matter what I tell the kids. And maybe, one day, I won't come home. But that's fine. Because I know that everything I did? As a mage? Was for them. All of it. And I gave them everything I could. Just like you did with Ivan and even me. So yeah, you'll have to go eventually, but everything you could give them, you did. Whether they remember it or not."

They both sat there for a good moment before, just like that, Ivory began sobbing.

"Oh, Ivory," Laxus groaned, getting to his feet before lifting her up. "Do you need a new diaper, silly?"

Horribly. And for someone to wipe those stupid potatoes off her fingers (palms, arms, face, and some of her hair). Not to mention she wanted a bottle. And soon. Potatoes were only good for some much.

That, however, effectively ended the conversation. Not that it made Makarov feel any better, not really, but it did bring him some amount of closure. Laxus was right, after all. When he was raising Ivan (and mostly raising Laxus), he put his life in jeopardy constantly with no thought to what it would bring. A mage couldn't worry about such things.

So why was he suddenly so concerned? Surely he didn't care more for Laxus' children than he did for the man himself...did he?

Hmmm.

"I won't, uh, mention this to Mirajane," Laxus told him when they arrived back home, Ivory happily napping in her stroller as the man pushed her along. "I'll just tell her that we talked and that everything is alright now. Okay?"

Not that he gave the man a chance to agree or disagree. Just rushed off to go get Ivory out of her stroller and into her crib for nap time. Laxus was nothing if not an attentive parent (and an awkward avoider).

Makarov was still feeling rather mopey that day still and, honestly, didn't feel much better until later that evening when Mirajane got home to make dinner and the boys returned from going out with their cousin and uncle, filled up on ice cream and adventure, both blabbering on to their father, who mostly didn't care, about it all. That left Ivory, however, with her grandfather to waste her last half hour before bedtime began.

They spent it sitting in the rocking chair in the old man's room, her in his lap, babbling sleepily while waiting for it to finally be time for Pike to read her to sleep.

He did that nightly.

"Gramps!" And then there was Nate, who mostly was concerned with the fact that Ivory was getting one-on-one time with the second to last person he wanted her to (Mirajane being, of course, the first). "What are you doing?"

"Mmmm," he sighed as the boy came unceremoniously into the room, bouncing around as he was still very hyped up. "Ivory and I are just-"

"Egg." He stopped hopping in front of the rocking chair. "You and Egg."

"Right. Egg and I were just sitting here, thinking."

"Egg doesn't think about things, Gramps," the boy said simply, reaching out to stroke his baby sister's cheek. "She just does them."

The man blinked. Then he nodded slightly. "I suppose so."

"Like Dad. He just does things. Or Uncle Elf. 'cause they're men!" Nate looked into his grandfather's eyes then. "Like you too, huh, Gramps?"

"I think about a lot of things, boy," he told him simply. "And it doesn't make me any less of a man."

Huh.

"Well," Nate said after a moment, "you went away when I was tellin' Dad about how, at the park, I beat Mace in a race from the bench all the way over to the fountain."

"I'd love to hear it now if-"

"Gramps! You wanna play-"

"No, Pike," Nate complained, not even glaring over at the bedroom door, which Pike was walking right on through. "He doesn't. Go play with Dad or the dog or by yourself or something."

"I-"

"You're fine, Pike," the elderly man sighed, closing his eyes as Ivory only snuggled closer to him. "Come sit down. Nate was going to tell us a story-"

"Well, now that you built it up," the older boy interrupted as, with a long sigh, his younger brother came to sit at his grandfather's feet and listen as well, "I should probably start from the beginning."

Which was fine. It carried them over to dinnertime, anyhow. And, before Mirajane came in there to get them, Makarov had to admit, even though Ivory was drooling a bit, Pike was humming very annoyingly, and Nate was just being long-winded for no reason other than to not give up the attention he was getting from the story, it was, by far, the best part of his day.

Even if he wasn't going to be with them for much longer, it was just as Laxus said. He was there as much as he possibly could be and, sometimes, that was enough.

Full Series

[graglithans-library]

Welcome to Paris Fur-ance Ch 11: Breakups, Gossip, and Minions

Kagami talks with Adrien about their relationship, Marinette deals with class gossip, and Shirou finds a major lead.

When he woke up that morning, Adrien was uncharacteristically grouchy. Even compared to days when he knew his father would send him to several photoshoots regardless of his plans. Adrien at least would fake a smile once Nathalie came with his schedule. That morning, however, he’d had little sleep. His mind kept racing over and over about just how much happened yesterday.

With a groan, he sat up in bed and looked at his desk, where Plagg was in the middle of eating his third-breakfast cheese wheel. “Plagg, why would Ladybug just... accept help from some new guy! She never asks for help when we’re dealing with Akumas or even finding leads for Hawkmoth. So why now? For all we know, he could be faking it and working with Hawkmoth to find out who we are! He even said it was a possibility if he helps us!”

Shoving the remainder of the cheese down his tiny throat, Plagg just shrugged and flew over. “Kid, I know as much of what’s going through Ladybug’s head as you do.” Landing on Adrien’s knee, the Kwami’s antennae and ears drooped. “If you ask me, I think she’s getting tired.”

Adrien paused in his funk and looked at Plagg in surprise. “Tired?”

“Yeah. Tired.” Plagg flew up as Adrien got off the bed and started to pace around his room. “It’s been three years of you two hunting down a guy in a butterfly suit and the close calls you’ve both had with hiding your identities.” He landed on the back of Adrien’s chair as the boy started to get ready for the day. “It’s probably wearing her down even more now that she’s the Guardian on top of that.”

Sighing as his shirt went over his head, Adrien scowled. “I know, but... I just don’t get it! We’ve always been a team, and she’s tried to let me in on more now that she’s the Guardian, but the identities rule is the one rule she remains adamant about. It just doesn’t make sense that she’d risk it out of nowhere.”

When Adrien was fully dressed and started getting his bag ready, Plagg flew into his usual spot in Adrien’s pocket. “Kid, I get it. Yeah, you’re a team. But you’re also just kids. I’m still mad at Fu for putting this on you two, but I don’t really have a say in who uses me, and he’s not in charge anymore.” Plagg’s small nub pressed against Adrien’s chest and gave him a quick pat. “If I can say anything, though, it’s that you’re one of the best kittens I’ve ever had, and probably ever will.”

Adrien’s eyes were wide as Plagg finished before they melted into a subdued smile. “Thanks, Plagg.”

______________________________________________________________

After getting his daily schedule from Nathalie, Adrien was mentally cringing at how his afternoon had four photoshoots he had to do today. He headed out to what he hoped would be an uneventful day at school.

He didn’t even make it to school.

“Adrien.”

The poor boy nearly jumped out of his skin and turned around in surprise. “Oh, Kagami! I didn’t expect to see you this early.”

Usually, that would have gotten a smile out of her, but Adrien was confused when her frown got slightly tighter. “Can we talk?”

Adrien had to fight back the urge to swallow and gave his best smile. “S-sure.” He looked at the Gorilla and waved. “I’ll walk to school today. I won’t say anything if you don’t.” His bodyguard gave Adrien a slightly worried look before letting a breath out his nose and shaking his head, confusing Adrien more. Still, he drove off like asked, leaving the two teens alone. Turning back to Kagami as they started to walk, he raised an eyebrow. “So... what did you want to talk about?”

Kagami looked down at her hands as they walked, which only served to heighten Adrien’s worry. “Remember when I told you the biggest mistake a fencer could make is choosing the wrong target?”

With his nerves acting up, Adrien unconsciously started to rub the back of his neck. “Uh, yes?”

Kagami stopped and looked him in the eye. “I feel that we both have made that same mistake.” Sighing sadly, she shook her head. “Please do not take this the wrong way, Adrien.”

Adrien found his heart was racing, but not in a comforting way. Something about this was making him uneasy. Was it her wording? Why would he be taking this the wrong way? What would he be taking the wrong way? “What do you mean?” He hadn’t even meant to say it out loud, but the words slipped from his lips.

“Yesterday, I made some new friends. It was slightly unusual, with them being older than us, but they offered their perspective on certain matters; regarding my behavior, and by extension, our relationship.” Looking away for a moment, shame steadily filled Kagami’s heart. “I believe we’ve been in an unhealthy relationship. I am ashamed to admit that I saw you more as a possession than a person, and I was becoming slightly obsessive as a result. More so, there was one other point that I noticed but had refused to acknowledge until recently.” Turning back to Adrien, her frown cut right through his soul. “While I appreciate the efforts you’ve put in, it is clear your heart has not changed since we first started dating. The fact you pull away from any attempt at a kiss only hurts and furthers that fact.” She put a hand to her chest, and a rueful smile crossed her face. “While you may have been my boyfriend, my victory in this contest of hearts was superficial at best, and only in name.”

His hands were trembling. Why were they shaking? Adrien had to choke down his heart to keep it from leaping out of his throat. He had a reasonably good idea of what Kagami was trying to say now, but he still felt horrible. “Does... does this mean that-?”

Kagami nodded and sighed before looking Adrien in the eyes. “Yes, Adrien. Our relationship is over.”

And just like that, Adrien’s heart fractured. “Oh.” It was... strange. He’d expected the heartbreak from hearing those words to be worse, yet, while it hurt, it wasn’t nearly as bad as he thought. The only memory he could compare it to was when he had to get shots when he was little. Yes, it hurt, but nowhere near what he hyped himself up to.

That wasn’t to say it was painless, though, and an irrational fear bore through it. It was in a desperate attempt, and a rather pathetic one, but Adrien reached for the one thing he couldn’t stand to lose. “Can... Can we still be friends?”

Kagami still held that bitter smile and closed her eyes. “We’ll see.”

That... that was better than nothing, right? Adrien thought to himself, feeling dread creep into him. That means there’s a chance she won’t leave.

Bowing slightly, Kagami broke Adrien from the start of his spiraling thoughts. “Please give Marinette my regards.”

And just like that, Adrien was confused again. “Wait, Marinette?” What was Kagami talking about? Why would he be giving Marinette...? Did something happen between the two of them? He thought they were getting along well, last time they had hung out together. Sure, Marinette was still really anxious around him for some reason, but that didn’t have anything to do with Kagami. Did it?

Kagami, for her part, looked just as confused as Adrien did. “Is she not the one you’ve been after?”

Adrien’s eyes shot wide open at that. So that’s where the confusion was! Kagami must have thought that Marinette was the other girl he had feelings for instead of Ladybug. Granted, he never actually said who it was, so it was understandable where the mix up happened. Rubbing the back of his head as he smiled, Adrien waved his hand. “No, she’s just a friend.”

At his response, Kagami could only stare at him incredulously, eyes slowly widening as her jaw fought to close from its recent drop. Did... does this boy not realize his own feelings!? He was willing to blackmail that Rossi girl to get Marinette back in school, yet she’s just a friend!? A sobering thought crossed her mind as her mouth finally closed. And here I accused Marinette of stringing him along when I started pursuing him. A scowl slowly formed on her face, making Adrien flinch back. “It seems I was wrong about many things as of late. You truly are an idiot, Adrien Agreste.”

“K-Kagami!?” Adrien could only stare as his now ex-girlfriend marched away. It wasn’t until she was gone that he managed to look to Plagg. “What did she mean by...?”

Plagg just looked up at Adrien and sighed, shaking his head. “Kid, I think you need to re-evaluate a lot of things. Namely, what you think of Pigtails, but we’ll focus on that later.”

Adrien shook his head and started his walk to school once more. “She’s just a friend, Plagg.” The words sounded hollow, even to him. He couldn’t put any energy behind them.

The Kwami in his pocket only looked sadly up at his holder. “You sure about that?” ______________________________________________________________

For Marinette, the morning following her meeting with Shirou was, thankfully, uneventful. Yes, Marinette was tired from staying up later than usual, which was pretty late for her, all superhero-related things aside. Still, it was another miraculous morning that had her get to class undisturbed.

Mostly.

She even made it on time for once!

...

Okay, she barely made it to class, but that still counts! She was also lucky that Mme. Bustier decided to have her period be a study hall for the day.

Though as she sat in her usual spot, the classroom was unusually quiet, which in and of itself was worrying. I wonder what’s going on.

It was a worried looking Mylene that answered Marinette’s internal question. “Hey, where’s Lila?”

Marinette looked around, and sure enough, the Italian was not in class. Yet another silent thank you was sent to the tiny goddess in her purse, and Tikki just patted her leg in response.

Ivan looked as confused as his girlfriend did. “Did she go on another trip?”

Rose perked up and smiled as she looked over at the two. “Maybe she’s at a photoshoot with Adrien?”

“Weird, she didn’t say anything about one,” Sabrina muttered as she looked through her notebook. Marinette couldn’t help but feel a touch terrible at seeing her following yet another bully. At least with Chloé, she knew that she was working for someone cruel. This was just going to make her feel worse when the truth came out.

Alix quirked an eyebrow and crossed her arms. “Wouldn’t put it past her. She does tend to forget to tell us before she has them.”

Kim leaned over his desk to join the conversation. “How long do you think this one will be?”

Mylene shrugged as well, sighing. “Who knows.”

As Marinette sat down next to her, Alya scoffed a bit under her breath and rolled her eyes. “Maybe until she gets bored at home.”

Marinette winced a bit as a few of the people behind them shot Alya a rather intense glare. With an uneasy smile, she leaned towards her friend. “Maybe tone it down a touch, Alya?”

Alya scowled a bit as she threw an arm towards the classroom door. “The girl made a fool out of us, Marinette. How am I supposed to feel?”

Raising both hands, Marinette frowned herself. “I know, but unfortunately, her working for Gabriel is an actual job of hers. Adrien confirmed it. So for all we know, she really is there.” It was a little annoying, but if Marinette didn’t stop Alya’s indignation, another Akuma would land on her friend. That or Alya might actually get herself into a heap of trouble.

Nino looked over his shoulder at the two and twisted in his seat, worry evident on his face. “Seriously, though, what’s up with you, babe? You’re all kinds of stressed out.” He reached over and put a hand on Alya’s. “I’m worried you might start attracting butterflies.”

That made Alya tense up before she melted down into a heap and rubbed her face. “You’re right. It’s just... someone broke into the zoo last night. My dad was up this morning in a panic when he got called in to help check over everything.”

Shock lit up Marinette and Nino’s faces. “Dude, seriously!?.”

Marinette’s hand went up to her mouth, hiding the worried grimace as best she could. “Really? Did anything happen?” She could feel Tikki in her bag wiggle around, probably trying to listen in as best the Kwami could.

Alya shook her head and looked at her desk in deep thought. “That’s just it, they couldn’t find anything wrong! But there was footage of whoever it was going to every exhibit they could and somehow getting close to the animals without making them freak out. It’s why they called Dad in to make sure they were healthy.”

Nino wordlessly got up and switched seats with Marinette, hugging his girlfriend. They stayed like that for a moment before he started to rub her back. “Wow. That’s really concerning.”

Taking a moment to glance at the class, Marinette was a little shocked that nobody got out of their seats. It looked like they were purposefully ignoring Alya after her remark. She felt a twinge of sadness at the sight of Adrien slumped in his chair. That was until she caught the uneasy, conflicted glance in Mylene’s eyes as she hastily shot a glance to Alya before turning away again.

Before either of them could go any farther and ask how things went at the Zoo, the classroom’s door opened, and Lila stomped her way to her seat. “Sorry, I’m late, everyone. You wouldn’t believe what happened today!”

Marinette rolled her eyes a bit. After what they’ve bought out of your lies, I doubt it.

Half of her class that was still listening to Lila all gaped, and Kim spoke up. “What happened?”

Lila rolled her eyes and crossed her arms as she sat down. “My Zio Alexandar arrived in Paris. He was at our door this morning, and he kept spoiling us so much I could barely get out!”

“Zio?” Marinette looked to Alya, who pulled out her phone for a moment and started typing.

Alya showed her phone was on a translation website. “Her uncle.”

“Ah.” Sparing a glance at the fuming Italian, Marinette hummed in thought. “Strangely... that one sounds believable to a degree.”

Alya raised an eyebrow herself as she put her phone away and looked back. “Yeah, she actually seems a bit annoyed. Like, usually, she’s faking that sugary smile or silently sending sneers at us.” The two both kept looking at her as she raved about her morning before Alya grimaced. “Is it wrong that I'm slightly uncomfortable from this possibly being genuine?”

Marinette shrugged. “Did you even know she had an uncle?”

Shaking her head, Alya shrugged back. “Nope. Always got silent at the mention of any family that wasn’t her mom.”

Shortly after Alya had said that, Adrien walked in with a smile. The look in his eyes, however, screamed of something else. Marinette was surprised that he’d even been let out of the house with how he looked, but she guessed he applied his concealer well enough to fool Nathalie. That, or maybe it happened after he left? Nino also saw through it instantly and was practically ready to jump out of Marinette’s seat. “Dude, you alright? You look dead on your feet.”

Adrien waved a hand a bit and shot them his best smile. “I’ll be fine, Nino. Just tired.” The fact his best smile looked as dead as his eyes made Marinette’s worries skyrocket. Just what happened to make him so sad? A little voice in the back of her head voiced a possibility, making her heart race with worry. Did... did something happen with him and Kagami? What if they end up like Luka and me!? What if this makes Adrien so dejected that he abandons all hope for love andliveshislifelikehisfatherandbecomescoldandheartlessandwenevergettogetherorhavethreekidsandahamsternamed-!

Nino sighed loudly enough that it broke Marinette’s catastrophizing spree as he moved out of her seat. “Whatever you say, bro. When you’re good to talk about it, I’m here.” Giving Marinette a wave of thanks, Nino went back down to his spot next to Adrien and started to chat with him.

Mentally slapping herself, Marinette grimaced. NO. You promised yourself you would not focus on romance. There’s too much going on right now! Even if it’s making Adrien sad, we will not be getting involved!  

Oh, but how she wanted to help him. Every fiber of her body was screaming that she needed to help. It was Adrien who was sad. The literal Sunshine Child of the class! What kind of everyday Ladybug would she be if she didn’t?

Thankfully, Marinette at least had the manners not to eavesdrop on her crush good friend, so instead, she tried to focus on her homework. Talking with Shirou last night took longer than she thought it would. She still had a third of the assignment incomplete, and it was going to be due the moment she walked into her next class. So much time wasted because of being a superhero. So many commissions to work on. So much school work. I can handle it! I’m Ladybug, after all.

An extensively long science problem smugly, at least in her mind, stared her in the face before Marinette groaned, letting her head hit the desk. I hope Mr. Oogami pulls through on his end. No more Akumas sounds absolutely fantastic right now. I could go for a nice mental breakdown. ______________________________________________________________

Shirou looked up at the building in front of him and growled slightly under his breath as he walked away from City Hall. Mayor Bourgeois had apparently made it impossible to schedule any meetings with him, so any questioning Shirou had planned to do was shot. For a man who’s daughter was missing, he was remarkably unattentive.

And considering the scents brought him to City Hall in the first place made that all the more curious.

Rather than try the front again, Shirou walked around the building to the alley, following his gut feeling. As he found the parking area, he could see a few men standing around in various spots, near light posts, cars, or one particular door. It was suspicious how these men looked like they were here for quite a while, yet only a few were dressed in nicer clothes. One of the men noticed Shirou and raised an eyebrow but didn’t say anything. They didn’t look away, however, as Shirou walked through the parking.

Shirou kept walking until he made it to the other side of the lot and made it far enough they would think he couldn’t hear them. He pulled out his phone, pretending to check something as he rounded a corner out of sight. With a few quick jumps, he was on the City Hall roof, looking down at the group.

One of the men, balding, and American judging by his accent, looked over at his friend. “Hey, you know who that guy was?”

The suited man next to him shook his head. “Nah. Boss lady said she wasn’t expecting anyone.”

He glared back at where Shirou had vanished, scowling. “Think he’s trouble?”

Smirking, the suit waved a hand. “With how he was walking through here? I would bet on it. Didn’t even look phased. A man like that ain’t something you mess with.”

A second suited man next to him was looking at his phone, frowning as he gave a side-glare at the two. “Well, if he comes anywhere near here again, motivate him to not come back. Alright?”

Rolling his eyes, the first suit shrugged. “Whatever. Any word on the brat?”

The second suit sighed and rubbed his face. “Yes. She started to try and bash the door down a few hours ago. Hasn’t made a sound since.”

The bald guy smirked. “Music to my damn ears.”

The final guy, who was busy standing next to the door, pulled out his phone and answered a call before his eyes shot open. “Guys! Boss wants us downstairs now!”

The three who were talking looked over at him. “Wha?”

He jabbed his thumb at the door and sneered. “Somethin’ freaky just happened to that little bitch! There’s new plans.”

The second suit scowled before they walked up to the door, and he stopped. Pointing at the original guard and the balding man, he sent a chill down their spines. “You two stay out here. If that guy shows up again, you know what to do.”

A vicious smirk crossed the balding guy’s face. “Got it.” He got in position next to the door, and Shirou could see the revolver he had hidden in his waistband.

Once the two suits were inside, the original guard was left with the balding man and looked unamused. “Of course, I’d be stuck with your stupid ass.”

“Like you’re much higher on the food chain,” the bald guy scoffed.

Shirou couldn’t help but smirk a bit as he stood above them and stepped off the building. But I am. He landed right between the two, startling them both. Before the balding man could grab his gun, Shirou had both of them by the arm and forced the two into a headbutt, knocking the both of them senseless.

He then brushed off his shoulder and looked at the door before heading inside.

[gospacegay]

LTRTIHEW: Part Nineteen

The title stands for “Longest Rusame Thing I Have Ever Written”. Ohoho! What is France up to?

First Chapter: https://gospacegay.tumblr.com/post/165808913233/lrtihew-part-one

Previous Chapter: https://gospacegay.tumblr.com/post/166625068258/lrtihew-part-eighteen

There is swearing, fluff, eventual smut, insanity, and lord knows what else

Later, Ivan and Alfred were at the airport eating ice cream cones. It wasn't that they wanted to be there. Between the two of them, neither one knew a single word of Mandarin. The insanely busy international airport was the only place they could find workers that knew foreign languages. They became lost at least three times just getting back to the airport.

“I don't know what the hell you guys were talking about back there. I hope that grouchy bastard realizes his interest rate is like, physically impossible.” Alfred commented, between licks of frozen treat. “He will come to his senses. A visit with friends really clears the mind.” Ivan replied sagely, double meanings abound. “Friends? Dude, he hates everyone. Everyone one in there hated each other, well kinda. I don't... think you hate me. You haven't tried to stab me in forever.” Alfred rambled, ice cream vanishing quickly.

Ivan took his time with a single scoop of vanilla, chuckling softly. “That is true, Alik. I have not been stabbing you at all. I must be sick.” he joked, not too heavy on the sarcasm for once. “I'll asked Dr. Stab-a-lot herself to give you a check up.” Alfred replied quickly. Ivan froze, the thought of his insane little sister haunting him. “Please don't.” Ivan requested softly, barely heard.

“We're breakfast bros, big guy. I wouldn't sick Belarus on you like that.” Alfred assured with a rough pat on the back. People looked them strangely. A fully dressed Russian military commander and a blatantly American business man eating ice cream on a hello kitty bench was an odd sight after all.

Ivan's life was quick to shift back to regular patterns. Work, eat, sleep, morning tea on his porch... It was repeated for three weeks. Ivan was lost in the routine, ignoring the growing anxiety in his mind. It was all that stupid American's fault, inviting him out to that party. He never said what kind of party, where it was, or even the time. Worst of all, most of the UN members would be there. Ivan had personally invaded, insulted, or offended every member of the UN at least once since it's formation. To even think of including Ivan in parties was social suicide on Alfred's part.

Staring at forms from the government, Ivan could feel his palms sweating. He hated being like this, all tied up in knots inside. It was a day before he was heading off to the USA, and he couldn't remain calm  at all. He was the Russian Federation! He was the most nuclear armed nation to ever exist. He wasn't allowed to be nervous before parties. Ivan mentally scolded himself, sitting a little straighter. The phone unexpectedly rang, startling the Russian.

“Hello?” he answered, heart still going. “Heeey buddy... What's... Going on?” a very drunk America slurred. He sounded absolutely wasted. As Ivan pondered how to exploit this, the voice on the phone continued “So. No party. I don't know what happened... but fuck... it's all fucked.” “What?” Ivan asked,  struggling to pull words from the inebriated rambling. “China agreed to negotiate the payments... awesome? Then he said... It was oh my god, like... so awful. Then everyone read the e-mail... now they won't come to my party.” Alfred whined.

Political intrigue was always interesting. Ivan decided to actually pay attention. “E-mails?” he asked, hoping for a response below yelling level. “China, that ass, fuckin'... released old videos from Guantanamo Bay... Human rights violations... and England was all wanker this, bloody that. The UN guys think I'm some kind of monster. The only guy coming is France...” Alfred continued forever, becoming less coherent.

“Alfred, drinking does not dull the pain of rejection.” Ivan chided. He was a hypocrite of course, with his own alcohol on the desk. The thought of a vulnerable drunk America only in the presence of France was concerning. France was far from being a rapist, at least in modern times. Drunks, male or female, still had a tendency of ending up in France's bed. The very thought made Ivan angry enough to crush his phone. Alfred was his... comrade? Close acquaintance? The label wasn't important right now. Ivan didn't allow such questionable people near his... associates.

“... So. I cancelled the party. Only creepy fuckers were going to show up anyway.” Alfred concluded, briefly more clear. “Very well. I will be coming over regardless.” Ivan replied, glancing at his government purchased plane tickets. Coach seats, of course the cheap bastards would send their own kin overseas in such frugality. “What?” Alfred asked, surprised as ever.

“My plane tickets cannot be refunded. I will not be putting them to waste.” Ivan explained honestly, omitting a few extra things. Things like horribly maiming France, or cutting off his fingers until he sings the Russian anthem... again. It would feel so liberating to release this toxic thirst for vengeance instead of bottling it up.

There was groaning on the line, then a long “Fiiine. I'm not entertaining you though. Fuckin' wrecked.” This was a good invitation as any other to Ivan's ears. A brief sense of relief washed over the previously nervous Russian. He was welcome for a visit, and his host clearly wasn't upset. It was a novel sensation to be wanted somewhere, like that first juicy bite into a fresh fruit.

Ivan was packed and out that night. It had been a hassle to switch flights to an earlier departure. Dealing with a crying child on an express coach flight was hellish. The jet lag of going half way around the world was dragging him down. None of this mattered. It was nearly morning in Washington DC when a sleep deprived Ivan arrived on the patio of America house. The lights were on inside despite the mercilessly early hour. Not even the sun had roused from his slumber yet.

Breezing past the unlocked front door, Ivan saw what he had feared. France had wrapped an arm around an unconscious Alfred on the couch, watching a film with french subtitles at low volume. Spain and Mexico were also passed out in arm chairs, snoring softly. America's hair was done up in embarrassing pink bows, a mess of red, white, and blue glitter dumped on him.

“Hello Russia, I see you came early for the party.” France greeted softly in french, enjoying himself too much like always. “What have you done to America?” Ivan demanded in the same tongue, tensed. “Oh, I had my fun, as did the others. I think I had much more fun though.” he replied coyly, winking. Oh no. Russia was too late. France had defiled yet another nation under vulnerable circumstances! That vile creature! That untrustworthy bastard was going to die!