#and Silky and Vanjie answers questions about love

[theartificialdane]

Vanjie and Silky got drunk on instagram live and were live for 5 hours sadly they didn't save it but the highlight was Vanjie calling a mukbang a mug bank

Hahahah, oh sweetheart.

Thank you so much for calling in!

However, Silky and Vanjie doing a mukbang together would be peak dumbass energy ❤️

[artificialqueens]

A New Kind Of Freedom (Branjie) - Enescudoh

A/N - first ever fic so all crits and comments gratefully received! Thank you to Mia Ugly for a wonderful email telling a complete novice how to do this part. I’ve left this open ended - haven’t decided if I’ll come back to it or not yet.

Fic summary: A little ways down the road, some things have changed, others have stayed exactly as they are. Brooke and Vanjie can only avoid each other for so long before tequila combined with what should have been a great idea from a French drag queen make them question how much they’ve really left things behind them.

Non-AU, but canon-divergent in that Brooke never moved out of Nashville to LA.

‘Another round of tequila for my best bitches!’

The dancers that have taken over this West Hollywood bar cheer as Brooke seems only to want to get them drunker, perhaps to disguise how drunk she’s getting.

‘Think you want to take it easy for the night? Maybe have some water?’ Nicky asks, as she tries to clamber onto a table. Six foot three before her heels were on – that’s going to be a long way down if she falls. Nicky goes up to steady her and instead Brooke raises her hand like she’s a boxing champion.

‘Everyone give it up for Nicky! She’s the fucking best. Nicky, you’re the fucking best, you know that?’ Brooke takes her French co-star’s face in her hands and pecks her on the lips. She laughs it off, enjoying the moment, before helping them both off the table.

‘Nicky’, Brooke says, when their feet are back firmly on the floor, ‘we have just done a motherfucking global tour.’ She slams her arms on the table with every word. ‘We have just finished a motherfucking week long run in fucking Los Angeles. When, tell me, is a better time to get so drunk you forget your own name, than right motherfucking now?’

‘And that’s the only reason?’

There’s something about the way Nicky asks her that makes Brooke temporarily lose a single layer of the alcohol shield she was using to protect her emotions.

‘I hoped he might have come to a show. Or just, like, said hi. While I was here. Cos, I mean, he knew I’d be here. But he didn’t, and the show’s done now, and as far as he knows that’s me out of town and… it sucks that he didn’t even want to say hi. It’s like, a tiny bit that. But mostly just the celebrating our motherfucking show part.’ Brooke sees Nicky look at her with pity and immediately starts up again acting the type of drunk she wants to be tonight, as if that will speed up it arriving in real life.

‘I’m fine! Honestly – I’m so happy right now. Come on – tonight’s for dancing, not for talking, let’s get back out there, mademoiselle!’

Truly, that’s all Brooke wants. To get so euphorically drunk she forgets her own name, and to kill these night time hours in Los Angeles before this place that was so thick with memories makes her do something stupid. To deny that part of her that wishes she’d seen him while she was here, until she can get back to real life, where she could get him out of her head by telling herself there was, at least, no good excuse to be prompted to think about him. Most of the time.

—

‘C’mon Nicky, let me stay for one more round, I’ll buy everyone another round!’

‘Brooke, you can barely stand up. I’m getting you an uber, you’re going home where there’s a bed. You know, a place for sleeping that’s not a leather couch in a bar?’ Nicky was hardly stone cold sober, which made it challenging to scroll back through their conversation, trying to find the address of Brooke’s AirBnB. She’d taken her stuff there this morning after they’d checked out of the hotel the tour was putting them up in, using the next week for meetings she could usefully do while in town. It had made so much sense in the daylight. Now Nicky curses that she doesn’t know where to actually book her Uber to.

She finally loses patience trying as Brooke appears to have passed out on her shoulder. Nicky takes her phone from her pocket and holds it to her face to open it. Luckily it’s used to recognising her in drag. She opens the app – and right there is a saved address of an apartment nearby. Nicky makes a mental note to rip Brooke a new one for how stupidly organised she is, before booking a car, just about managing to manhandle Brooke into it, and going back into the bar for another round of shots. Just because Brooke was out of it, doesn’t mean her night has to end.

—

The buzzer drags Jose out of bed, rubbing his eyes and his spiked up bed-hair. He checks his phone. 3:15am. Serves him right for thinking he might actually get some sleep one night this week. The buzzer carries on sounding as if someone was leaning on it.

‘Jeez, I’m coming already Mary’, he grumbles. ‘What is it?’ He asks into the intercom.

‘This is Ali, uber driver – ‘

‘Child, ain’t no one here ordering no uber at three o’clock in the god damn morning.’

‘There is woman in my car, this is her address to take her to, but I cannot wake her up, she asleep in my car.’

‘Silky I swear to god if this is your idea of a prank – ‘

‘Please take sleeping woman from my car, thank you sir.’

Jose is rapidly starting to think this is the strangest dream he’s ever had but he plays along, puts his door on the latch and goes downstairs to investigate.

And sure enough, passed out on the back seat of a Prius, snoring like the moose he knows, is Brooke Lynn Hytes.

Jose sighs. There isn’t enough good karma in the world to pay him back for not even entertaining the idea of getting a video of this. He hands Ali a tip and begins to gently coax his ex-boyfriend out of the car.

—

After Jose has helped a barely sentient Brock into his building’s elevator, out of drag and make-up, and onto his sofa, under a pile of blankets of varying thicknesses and softnesses (because he knows that when Brock’s drunk he’ll switch randomly between freezing cold and boiling hot in the middle of the night), sleep doesn’t exactly come back easily. For one thing Brock’s snoring can traverse walls. But he’s also trying to piece together what’s happened. He knew Brock was in LA. He’s been running different routes every day for the last fortnight just to avoid the posters. Did Brock want to come and see him, try and build up some Dutch courage and take it too far?

‘Get out of your head, child’, he whispers to himself. ‘He don’t think about you like that no more, you know that.’

He tosses and turns and before he knows it, it’s light outside.

—

Brock wakes early, turning and stretching. He needed more sleep but knows he only wakes up feeling this uncomfortable when he’s tried to cram his tall frame onto a sofa for the night. He curses – was he really so out of it he didn’t even make it to the bedroom of his own AirBnb last night? As he prises his eyes open, and casts the two blankets off his body to join the several already on the floor, he realises this isn’t the same place he came to bring his suitcases yesterday. Is it? It feels strangely familiar.

Before he can work out where he knows the apartment from, or why he’s there, the smell of strong coffee hits his sinuses, and the whirring of a Nespresso machine sounds up. He groans.

‘Mornin’, sleeping beauty’, calls a familiar voice from the kitchen. And suddenly how he knows this apartment falls into place.

Brock stands up and steadies himself on the sofa before walking through to where the voice came from.

‘Hey stranger.’

Jose turns around and smiles at him. Usually something that bright would shatter him into pieces on a hangover like this. But when it’s Jose’s smile, whatever he’s feeling, it only makes it better.

‘Coffee?’

‘Like you even have to ask.’ Brock sits – carefully – on a high stool and sinks his head into his hands, taking it out only when the steaming mug is put down in front of him. He examines it as he drinks.

‘You still have this tacky tourist mug from Chicago?’

Jose freezes at the counter. He won’t let Brock see the warmth that washes over him with memories of that trip.

‘Uh, yeah, I guess I do. I can get you another one if –‘

‘No, it’s nice. It’s nice that you have it.’

Brock meets Jose’s eyes as he says it, much as he’d rather look away.

‘Your tour finished last night then?’

‘Yeah, uh-huh.’ Brock desperately tries to think of something to say to stop what he knows is about to come out of his mouth. ‘I hoped you might come see me while I was here.’

‘I hoped you mighta asked me to.’

Brock swallows as he’s caught off guard by Jose’s honesty.

‘So I don’t remember running into you last night, where –‘

‘You wanna tell me how you ended up here?’

They start talking at the same time and trail off, when Brock’s phone starts vibrating.

‘This ought to give us some idea,’ he says as he answers it. ‘Hey Nicky.’

‘Ah! She lives!’ Jose busies himself in the kitchen, trying not to overhear anything. He doesn’t want to know, really. It doesn’t matter. It didn’t mean anything that Brock showed up here last night, just as he was beginning to… no, not beginning to anything. No beginnings. Everything ended a long time ago. He couldn’t afford to think otherwise.

Anyway, there’s nothing to overhear, as Nicky is regaling Brock with everything that happened after she’d gone home.

‘Honestly, it’s a miracle I managed to get you into that uber when I did –‘

‘Wait, you put me in an uber?’

‘Yes honey – a stroke of genius, I might add.’

‘How did you find… um, where to send it?’

‘It was your nearest saved address – thank me over brunch, bitch, you still good to meet in that café in an hour?’

Brock’s been pacing around the living room. He leans through to check Jose is out of earshot before replying, ‘I think today’s more of a duvet day hangover than a brunch hangover. Sorry my love, I’m gonna have to raincheck this one.’

‘Ugh, fine. I guess I’ll just go flirt with the cute waiters by myself. Bye, bitch.’

‘Well, that’s that mystery solved’, Brock says as he re-enters the kitchen. It seems almost too simple. Too… prosaic. Like it should have been fate, or destiny, or some grand force beyond his control that brought him to Jose’s door, and instead it was a French drag queen with a bad memory after a few drinks.

Jose laughs to himself, and to the floor, as Brock explains. ‘You ain’t changed this address out in three years? How many times you been to LA since then?’

‘Honestly, not that many. And I’m just going to meetings, back and forth, and I don’t stay in the same places…’

‘Alright, Miss Thing, we get it, you in demand.’ He starts to relax. He was worried that Brock showing up meant something, something too big for him to be able to protect himself from. He just has to get through the morning, maybe only another hour, and then Brock can waltz back out of his apartment just as quickly as he showed up in it. Not waltz. Crash, or tiptoe. Brock doesn’t really have any mode between those two extremes.

‘So, uh, I guess you remember where the shower is, and then, as long as you actually know which apartment it is you’re going to this time, we all good here…’

Jose can hardly bring himself to look at Brock as he potters around looking for a towel, but he knows Brock’s eyes are following him all around the room. Can’t he at least pretend it’s as difficult for him to see Jose as it is for Jose to see him?

‘I don’t know, since I’m here…’

‘Since you here what?’

‘I’m just saying, it’s been ages. I hardly talk to you any more. It’d be nice to reconnect with my friend. You got plans today?’

Jose feels his feet become rooted to the spot. It’s so tempting – to spend the day with Brock, patching up the hole he’s felt over the last couple of years without the Canadian in his life. Maybe he’s wrong – maybe it is better to have him as a friend, to have some of him, than to have to completely cut himself off from this force of nature, this beautiful, magnetic person. To think of himself as lucky that someone like that wants to spend time with him, wants to be his friend, rather than dwell on all the things Brock doesn’t want with him. He sighs.

‘Sure. I mean, nah, no plans. Sure, we can hang out.’

‘Yeah? That’s awesome!’ Brock is starting to feel human again – he can tell by the way his speaking voice is slowly crawling out of the bass register.

—

As Brock turns the shower off, he hears a voice on the other side of the wall. He allows himself a smile to think that even when Jose was trying to be quiet (as he could tell he was now), his voice still carried across rooms.

‘I’m real sorry, I know it’s shitty, it’s just this once, I promise – I just… I got an old friend show up in town. I’ll try see you some time this week, ‘kay? OK. OK… OK. Bye.’

Brock doesn’t realise he’s been holding his breath until he lets it out. He counts to five in his head before he unlocks the door, one towel around his waist, another tousling his blonde curls.

‘Hey – give me 15 minutes then I’ll be ready to head out. OK?’

Jose looks up at him. He tries so hard not to flinch as he does. It’s just muscle memory, he tells himself, brain pathways and stuff, that once they’re there, don’t go away. That’s the only reason looking at Brock’s body makes him feel like this, because he did in past, not because he does now. Anyway - he’s made a decision, the least he could do is see it through. ‘Sure.’

—

It’s remarkable how quickly they slip back into each others’ company. They hardly notice that they’re going to their old haunts, stop to get in their heads about if that means anything – they just know the places they enjoy, how they spent so many days happy and relaxed in this neighbourhood. How they don’t even think about how much hard work it is, trying to keep each other out, versus how natural they feel.

‘So how’s Nashville been treating you?’, Jose asks over an iced coffee.

‘It’s been good actually!’ Jose suppresses a snicker, but doesn’t do so well to keep himself from raising an eyebrow halfway up his forehead. Brock seeing Nashville as a means to an end that he wished he could leave had been a common theme of conversation between them.

‘I’m serious! I mean, my lease came up and I actually got really close to moving out here, but then… some stuff changed. I realised there was a side to Nashville I hadn’t got to see much of yet, so I figured I’d sign on for one more year.’

‘Sides like… what, everybody be discovering their local parks for the first time in quarantine, shit like that?’

Brock looks up from the table. ‘I met someone. It didn’t work out, we’re not still…’ He’s careful not to trip over his tongue as he gets that out. ‘But it was nice. Having a relationship while we both literally couldn’t go anywhere, you know, it helped to turn the everyday into a bit of an adventure. For a little while.’

‘So lemme get this straight. You actually willingly had a relationship with another person, in the same city as you, no breaks, no passes, no long distance shit, for…’

‘Uh, five months.’

‘For five months, without losing your god damn mind over it?’

Jose is chuckling, he’s taking it better than Brock had ever imagined he would, whenever he’d pictured Jose finding out about it. Part of the reason it had ended with Max after five months was precisely because he found himself wondering how Jose would react to everything he was doing, and somehow picturing doing all of the coupley things he’d previously never entertained with Jose tended to make him happier than actually doing them with Max. He wasn’t an expert in relationships, but he didn’t think that was how it was supposed to go.

“What about all that shit about “freedom”, about that being the most important thing to you in the world?”

Brock pauses. He’s been having enough trouble articulating it to himself.

“Say what you want about a pandemic. But it’s pretty good for making you… re-evaluate… what it actually is freedom means to you. When a lot of it gets taken away, I mean. Freedoms you never thought you’d have to live without. Suddenly, you can’t travel, you can’t perform to crowds, you can’t go to bars, you can’t hug your family… maybe, it starts to make you think that those are the freedoms that matter to you… and that in the scheme of things… freedom to flirt or to have sex, I mean, to involve other people in your freedom, and wish for it not to be personal… I don’t know, maybe that’s not the kind of freedom I found myself craving all that much on the other side of this. And maybe having one person who cares about you enough to look out for you, whose emotions move in sync with yours… maybe that’s a kind of freedom too.”

There’s a pause. Most people would misinterpret the face that Jose’s making as him trying to understand what Brock’s just said. But he knows better. He’s seen that face before. That’s the face of Jose’s heart breaking.

Brock wishes he could take back the words. He knew they’d sting, that’s why he hadn’t talked to Jose the minute he’d had that realisation. How could he have just shown up, years later, as if now he was finally ready for everything Jose wanted, as if nothing would have changed for Jose in the meantime? So when Jose finally opens his mouth to ask him that, says softly ‘how many months were you gonna sit on that before you said anything to me?’, Brock answers honestly.

‘I figured you’d given me too many chances already.’

[tumble4rpdr]

Ok so I just watch Brookes Podcast with Sibling Rivalry and I had some takeaways/tea

Brooke mentions how 2 months after filming s11 (time B&V were still dating) he got asked to do a WOW series (we kinda already knew). I doubt that the series didn’t have anything to do with those two. I ain’t saying anything but... imagine if somewhere lurking inside WOWS computer is ideas or videos of them doing couples for cash, or some other series together 👀

Monet mentions how she moved to LA and went out with Brooke and Vanjie. So they were together, all together, and we got no content?? Or at least I don’t remember and they are no obligated to give us content... but still lmao. So Brooke and vanjie were already together probably hanging on the couch when Monet said she wanted to hang out. Then later silky joined them.

Brooke said after that evening the next day Vanjie FaceTime her and they were laughing about how insane Silky was and how shook Monet was.

Brooke gave her cats sparkly nails. She is actually insane

Brooke talks about her dating life and how she’s gone on a few dates. She mentions seeing someone in the summer (Puerto Rican mr clean) but then breaking up. So I guess that’s confirmed but I still think it was very strange how flirty Brooke was with vanjie during that time... BUT IM NOT GONNA GET INTO IT

Sorry it took me so long to reply to you nonny but I wanted to listen to the episode first so I could give a better answer💜

I remember Brooke telling that story and I know she describes it as her being in talks to do a WOW show but I don’t know if anything ever came of that or if they had her do Canada’s Drag Race instead. But I completely agree with you that they definitely had B and V do something together at the time (it wouldn’t make sense for them not to get as much footage of the two of them together and we know they were likely there at the same time since V was in B’s makeup tutorial). I’ve thought along exactly the same lines as you that there’s very likely a Couple$ for Ca$h episode with B and V that WOW has hidden somewhere and who knows what else and you know that there’s at least some B-roll footage of the two of them being cute and smiley and flirty that WOW is hanging onto😊

And as soon as Monet mentioned that I was so happy because even though (like you) I would’ve wanted some content from all of them being together, I just love knowing that B and V are regularly spending time together because that means that they’re likely hanging out and talking (and FaceTiming) much more than we know (I’ve always suspected that so I don’t really worry when it gets quiet between them) and I always love hearing how close they are and how they continue to be such great friends. And I’m thinking that maybe that video that was posted (I forget if it was by B or Silky) of B filming Silky in what I think was a parking garage and we thought we heard V’s voice in the background was likely the four of them hanging out (though I’m just speculating). And I love your thought process anon and I love the thought of B and V already hanging out at one of their houses and then one of them gets a text from Monet so they just both show up to see her😁

Then of course Brooke bought her cats sparkly red claw covers😆I had to look up exactly what they are and B was right when she said they look like you painted your cat’s nails so of course B had to get her kitties the most extra claw caps there are but that truly is such a Brooke thing to do. This makes me think of when she dressed them up in Christmas themed outfits because she thought it was cute or when she put Apollo in a tie or even buying leashes for her cats so I’m honestly not surprised at all🙈

And I think from all the information we’ve collected from these different interviews with Brooke that her and Andres dated for about 2-3 months over the summer (and she really did like him) but then she broke it off and they’re now very good friends (like she seems to be with most of her exes/people she has been sexually/romantically involved with). I do agree with you though that she was being very friendly/flirty with V around that time but with B you honestly never know🙈I had mixed feelings when it came to Brooke talking with Bob and Monet about her dating life because on the one hand it reinforced (to me) about why she liked/likes V because she was talking about how she likes a guy to make the first move and be a little forward since she doesn’t like doing all the work (and that definitely sounds like how V was with her on Drag Race-and how I imagine V continues to be with her now) but then on the other hand B talks about going out to Beaches WeHo and a guy giving her his number there and that was the bar her and V went out to together (that night that we got all that content of the two of them) and then V later asked B in a live about how the dates were so I’m wondering if the guy gave B his number when she was out with V 😬 (and that makes me have so many other questions too but it could’ve been completely different nights)

I know you didn’t bring it up but I also loved hearing B giggle throughout the episode since B’s laugh is definitely one of my favorite things and I love B’s endless pageant knowledge. And I super appreciated Bob telling Brooke that she thought that she should be the main host because she can relate the most to what the queens are going through (like when she tells them to lip sync for their life) and I was glad B agreed with them. I’m not entirely sure when this episode was recorded but I’m wondering if it was around the time when B changed her Twitter/Instagram bio to say host of Canada’s Drag Race (instead of judge) so maybe B actually knew that she was being promoted to host but couldn’t reveal anything (so she just agreed instead)

I wanted to thank you for this ask nonny because I truly could hear about/talk about Brooke all day, everyday so it was great hearing your point of view on the podcast episode😊

[missjanjie]

S11 tour bus - the girls play never have I ever, they end up finding out a bit too much about b & V's sex life than they (or at least a'keria) wanted to know.

i love when i can tackle multiple similar prompts in one go. i feel like im really giving the people what they want, even though this turned out way sillier than i intended

–

“Okay, ladies, you all know the rules,” Ariel addressed thegroup. “When it’s your turn, you say something you’ve never done, and everyonethat has does it have to take a drink. Capiche?” it was one of the rare timesall of the season eleven queens got to be together, having just finished theirfinal show the weekend of DragCon. So, they decided to celebrate with adrinking game, because why not? “Great, I’ll start,” he tilted his head inthought. “Never have I ever…thought of someone else in this room while jerkingoff.”

A couple of them took a drink, but everyone couldn’t helpbut laugh when Brooke Lynn and Vanessa did. “No surprise there,” Silky rolledhis eyes and laughed. “Y’all gonna be blacked out by the end of this,” he tookit upon himself to go next. “Never have I ever dressed up in a specific dragoutfit to have sex in,” more queens drank this time, but Silky was stillshaking his head at Brooke and Vanessa. “For each other?” they both nodded.

The had decided to just go in a circle for efficiency, so A’keriawas next. “Never have I ever had an all-drag queen threesome,” just Brooke andVanessa drank for that one.

“With who?!” almost all of them shouted.

“With each other and a consenting third party,” Brookeanswered, causing Vanessa to snort in laughter. “And that is all you need toknow, thank you very much.”

After that there were a few non-sexual questions and a fewquestions that just weren’t applicable to Brooke or Vanessa. But soon enough itpicked back up. Among others, there was:

“Never have I ever had sex on a bus,” they did.

“Never have I ever had sex while on the phone with a familymember,” they did that too.

“Never have I ever broken a hotel bed from sex,” apparently,they had done that in five different states and two countries.

A’keria was looking at Brooke Lynn and Vanessa, utterlydumbfounded. “How the fuck did y’all manage to do all that nasty shit withoutgetting caught or in trouble or whatever?”

Vanessa shrugged. “We got in a little trouble a couple times,but no one really cared,” at this point he had drunk enough to really feel it,swaying a little.

Brooke had consumed the same amount, but the size differencemade him a lot more stable. So, he took Vanessa onto his lap and wrapped hisarms around his waist. “It also helps that Vanjie can charm her way out of apaper bag,” he laughed, moving his wig out of the way so he could kiss up theback of his neck.

“I feel like you guys are kinda getting off on the fact thatwe’re all being subjected to the knowledge that you two are horny, kinky littlefreaks,” Ra’jah remarked, making a few of the other queens laugh.

Vanessa tossed his head back and grinned proudly. “We can’thelp that we spent touring season having bomb ass sex,” he hummed while BrookeLynn kissed his neck more obviously, picking a spot to leave a hickey. “Don’thate cause you in a dry spell.”

“I still want to know who you had the threesome with,” Ninaadded. “I’m still offended I never received an offer, okay?” it also amusedthem how many of the queens felt similarly. “Can you at least tell us if it wasa queen from the show?”

“It was,” they answered in unison, laughing at that beforestarting to kiss, making everyone else roll their eyes and groan.

“If you guys start banging, I’m going to film and sell it,”Yvie warned, waving his phone around as if to prove his point. This didn’tnecessarily deter either of them, but they did stop short of actually exposingthemselves or even going beyond making out and a little heavy petting.

However, even with the one clue, some of the queens wereleft unsatisfied with the knowledge. “Listen, I’m gonna Nancy Drew this shit ifI have to. I’m too curious now,” Plastique remarked.

“I’m in, we’ll be a tag team of investigative journalistsand find out who got in the middle of the Branjie sandwich,” Ariel chimed in.

Vanessa stopped making out with Brooke Lynn long enough toadd “Actually, I was in the middle of them. Y’all know how much I like beingthe center of attention,” he smirked.

The mystery of the threesome lingered throughout DragCon.Brooke Lynn and Vanessa found it hysterical, refusing to budge even a littlewhen it came to giving any clues. Neither of them ever discovered if any oftheir sisters actually found out, though they did wonder what Kameron would sayif he was asked.

“Should we warn him?” Vanessa asked.

“And ruin the fun? Absolutely not.”

[graphicabyss]

RUPAUL’S DRAG RACE S11E11

I ended up not writing about last episode. I felt like Sugar was judged unfairly and so did half the viewers (or more) but I got over it. This time I was gagged. But first things firsts. It was a good episode and I’m gonna spam it all the way.

I loved the idea of a makeover of eliminated queens. I was especially glad to see Plastique and her glorious runway with Brooke Lynn. But it was overall fun to see all the queens interact and throw shade at each other and RuPaul adding fuel to the fire. Bitch... Also everyone gagging over Soju’s inability to walk in heels was gold. I completely agree with Scarlet regarding Silky and Vanjie. And while Vanjie had to fight her way through every episode and proved time after time she wasn’t going to give up, Silky somehow evaded the bottom every time. I also like how Yvie defended Scarlet. Seriously, Scarlet didn’t shit on anyone - she was asked a question and honestly answered it. Silky going crazy about it just proves the point.

The runways were really fun, seeing the eliminated queens in a very different style. The Hytes sisters were gorgeous and so were the Davenports but that was not surprising. Vanjie and Ariel were the real gag. Credit when it’s due. 

Finally, I agree with Nina being in the bottom but the lipsynch really fucked me up, man. When I heard the song I thought Silky would nail it but instead she was an absolute mess while Nina did unexpectedly well. Most time you can tell who’s winning and this time I had no doubt it was Nina and yet... somehow... Seriously, I’ve watched several seasons and there were times when I did not agree with the judgements but I don’t think I ever thought they were absolutely atrocious until now. I trusted RuPaul’s fair judgement but now I’m just so disappointed I have no words. You could see it in the Untucked Nina was devastated to lose and it honestly broke my heart more than any other queen leaving, even my faves because it just felt so unfair.

[artificialqueens]

When We Went From Friends to This, Part 1: Week 1 (Branjie) - Writworm42

A/N: Fic summary: At the start of their first year of college, roomies Brooke and Vanessa have to quarantine together for two weeks. Fourteen days is a lot of time to bond, but it’s also a lot of time for things to get complicated.

For the lovely Ortega–merry super belated Christmas <3 Thank you Holtz for betaing & suggesting a song for the title, Bean for answering my questions about whether UK stereotypes are true, and Ortega for being patient fdhsjkf

Title from Paper Rings by Taylor Swift

TW for implied weed use

Day 1

“I still can’t believe you gotta go in-person to all these classes, you sure there ain’t a Zoom option?”

Vanessa snorts, and she’s pretty sure that Silky can hear her roll her eyes on the other end of the line. “For dance majors? Bitch, you know that ain’t gonna work.”

But Silky is too stubborn to be fazed by common sense. Instead, her voice gets a little more urgent. “We’re only first year. Start out with something that doesn’t need to be done in-person, then switch majors to dance once this is all over. C’mon, I can’t have my bestie dying Miss ‘Rona here!”

“Christ, you sound like my mom.” Vanessa huffs. “Look, the uni is being very careful, okay? Why else do you think I gotta quarantine for two weeks ahead of the start of term? Plus all clubs have been suspended and meals and showers are booked with time slots for each room. I’m literally seeing no one except the people in my classes and the bitch I’m sleeping next to.”

“But—“

“Listen, I’m at the dorm now, so I gotta go. I’ll call you later, alright?”

“Bye.” Silky’s begrudging send-off brings a flash of guilt to Vanessa’s chest, but only for a moment. Pushing her feelings aside, she hip-checks the door to the dorm building, trying to make her way inside without disrupting the large box she’s holding with one arm or the suitcase she’s trailing behind her with the other.

“Hi, I’m Vanessa Mateo, I think I’m supposed to be room 96?”

The suspiciously stoned-looking guy at the front desk barely looks up from the computer as he slides the keycard across his desk, and at first, Vanessa hovers, waiting for him to launch into a spiel about rules, but a moment passes without him saying anything, so she surges on. The building is a bit of a maze, its cement walls cold and drab despite the colourful posters plastered across it in a desperate attempt to make it more hospitable. By the time she finally reaches her room, she’s almost grateful that she’ll have to stay in it 24/7, given the impression the building and staff have left so far. No matter, though, right now, all she wants is to put down what she’s carrying and collapse onto her bed.

She shifts uncomfortably for a moment, trying to balance her box while also maneuvering her card towards the keypad, but the effort is unsuccessful–when she finally manages to tap the card, she’s met with another obstacle, having to actually open the door without any free arms.

It’s probably not the best impression to kick the door open and promptly drop almost all of your stuff before falling on top of it. Scratch that, it’s definitely not the best impression. Especially when Vanessa looks up at the owner of the voice that’s holding back laughter, asking if she needs help in a soft, calm twang.

Her roommate is tall, blonde, and nothing short of gorgeous. And even as she makes a motion as simple as offering a hand, Vanessa can tell that this girl is the picture of poise and grace.

“What’s your name?” The girl watches with piercing eyes as Vanessa dusts herself off, fighting off a fierce blush as she straightens up and catches her breath.

“Vanessa, but my friends call me Vanjie.” She extends a hand again, and this time, the girl seems rather shy as she takes it, nervously brushing a piece of hair behind her ear.

Huh.

“Nice to meet you, Vanessa. I’m Brooke.”

Day 2

Brooke, as it turns out, is the polar opposite of Vanessa–quiet and reserved, so introverted that Vanessa has to wrestle information out of her. What Vanessa learns about her is interesting - she’s a dance major too, she’s from Toronto, she decided to study here because she wants RAD training as well as to get trained in other styles. She plans to minor in costume design, having an affinity for and attraction to any pattern that involves leather or lace (a kinky detail that Vanessa, much to her shame and embarrassment, files away hungrily). She has two cats back home, Apollo and Henry, that she misses terribly. Everything else Vanessa knows, though, had to be acquired sneakily over their first night together, more observation and speculation than actually asking. Like how Brooke must be a fan of Schitt’s Creek , given that she put out a ‘ fold in the cheese ’ sign on her desk. Or how Lana is probably her favourite artist, because she has a weird habit of not checking if her air pods are actually connected to the school’s shitty bluetooth network and it’s always the first couple notes of Summertime Sadness that play from her laptop before she catches her mistake. Or how her ass is one of the best Vanessa’s ever seen, because Brooke has no shame changing in front of her–

She strikes that part from her mind almost as quickly as she thinks it in the first place. The important thing is, she’s got to spend two weeks with only Brooke to keep her company, and if they stay in this silence, it’s going to get very awkward very soon.

“So… How d’you like Scotland so far?” Vanessa starts, grimacing internally at how stupid the question sounds. But Brooke doesn’t seem to mind; in fact, she smiles kindly as she looks up from her computer, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear again.

“To be honest, I haven’t really seen much of it… Pretty much came right here after I came off the plane.” Her smile turns apologetic as her face flushes pink, clearly self-conscious about the lacklustre answer. That’s okay, though; Vanessa can still work with it.

“Probably a long flight, huh? What’d you do to keep yourself entertained? Or are you a plane sleeper?” Vanessa adds with a teasing grin, and much to her delight, Brooke laughs.

“Nah, I can never sleep on planes. Unless I knock myself out with Gravol or something, at least.” Brooke chuckles, giving a small wink. “I just read a bit, then the airline showed The Notebook, so I watched that.”

“I love that movie!” Vanessa gasps, “I swear I’ve probably seen it, like, three thousand times. It’s just so–”

“Romantic!” Brooke finishes. “The poor guy next to me must have hated me for all the crying I did.”

Her eyes are alight with excitement, and Vanessa can’t help but pick up on it, because finally , the perfect topic, and Brooke likes Vanessa’s favourite movie, and maybe she likes other stuff that Vanessa likes, and they can talk about that together, and–

“So what’s your favourite scene?” Brooke asks eagerly, and Vanessa claps her hands over her face.

“That’s the worst question to ask me, bitch!” Vanessa groans, but grins behind her hands when Brooke laughs, a string of apologies flowing between giggles.

“Sorry, sorry, I should’ve known.” Brooke puts her hands up in mock surrender. “Too many to choose, right?”

“Right.” Vanessa giggles a little too. “Although…” she brings herself up on her elbows as soon as the idea hits her, and for some reason, her heart skips a beat as she formulates the question, a rare flash of nerves hitting her square in the chest.

“Maybe a rewatch would be a good reminder?” Before she can verbalize what she’s thinking, Brooke beats her to the question, blushing again and chewing on her lip.

It’s cute, how shy she is, and Vanessa makes a mental note that she’ll have to help her new roomie break herself of those habits.

“Yeah, lets.” Vanessa smiles warmly, sliding off her bed to grab her laptop from her desk. “Here, we can use my computer.”

She’s only just grabbed the computer and turned around when she falters, realizing with a sinking dread what decision is next.

Either she has to invite Brooke onto her bed, or Brooke has to make room on hers.

It’s just a bed, it’s just a bed, it’s not like you’re inviting her to snog, it’s just sitting down to watch a movie…  

So maybe Vanessa’s never had anyone but her friends lounge on her bed before, and her friends certainly don’t make her feel as nervous as Brooke does. Maybe Vanessa’s bed is a little small and Brooke is a little pretty, and the thought of being that close together makes her mouth go dry. And maybe the sudden uncertainty in Brooke’s eyes, too, is imagined, or else doesn’t mean anything that Vanessa thinks it could mean, rejection or reciprocation or suspicion of what Vanessa’s feeling. None of that changes anything right now, because Brooke is smiling again, tapping the space beside her bed to beckon Vanessa over.

“C’mon, let’s watch. If you want, we can even try to find the director’s cut.”

Day 3

Vanessa’s fast-developing fascination with Brooke’s ass isn’t helped by the sight of Brooke stretching on the floor that greets her as she comes back from her shower.

“Oh, hey!” Brooke lifts her leg up into a needle stance, peering between her legs before shifting her weight onto one hand and waving to Vanessa with the other. Her hair is still wet from her turn in the showers, and her current position is causing stray drops of water to trickle onto her arms, making it all too easy for Vanessa to give into temptation and watch as the droplets course over each one of Brooke’s muscles.

Bloody Hell. Vanessa’s got to do a better job of keeping her hormones under control.

“Hey yourself.” She tries to keep her voice casual as she grabs a pair of PJs from her bedside drawer, turning away from Brooke to change.

It’s strange. Vanessa never used to be as shy as she feels now, self-conscious of her nakedness as she drops her robe and begins to re-dress. A few months ago, this would’ve been no problem at all; to be honest, she’s not sure it would be now if she had a different roommate. But with Brooke next to her, watching her or not watching her at all (she can’t decide what’s worse, really), it’s different. She can’t help but wonder what she must look like, what Brooke must see if she’s actually looking. What does it feel like, being in Brooke’s head? What does everything seem, looking through Brooke’s eyes?

But Brooke is comfortable changing around her, and even though there’s no actual rule that says so, Vanessa feels obligated to feel comfortable, too. Partially because if it’s a non-issue, then feeling embarrassed about it might fade. And if that fades, then so will the way she feels every time she lays eyes on Brooke at all.

Right?

Vanessa whips around quickly, the sudden, eerie feeling of being watched making her forget that she doesn’t have a shirt on yet.

“ Christ! ” Brooke hits the floor with a thud, flushing beet red as she scrambles to cover her eyes. “Fuck, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to see–”

“I’ve seen yours, now you get to see mine.” Vanessa rolls her eyes and laughs, hoping that the light tone and faint smirk she forces herself to slap on disguises how secretly mortified she feels. And thankfully, the comment does work; the redness dissipates from Brooke’s face, and she giggles a little, though her gaze stays firmly planted on the ground until Vanessa slides on her t-shirt. Just like that, the awkwardness fades from the air, and things are back to business as usual as Vanessa begins to comb out her hair. Brooke finishes stretching, Vanessa goes to the half-bath to blow her hair dry. Brooke sits at her desk and types intently, Vanessa tries not to peek over Brooke’s shoulder to see who she’s talking to. Brooke stretches out on her bed to look at her phone, and Vanessa does the same to play around on hers.

“Oh, it’s our turn for dinner.” A reminder notification at the top of Vanessa’s screen alerts her to the time, and she shuffles up to slide on shoes and get going, only remembering what she’s wearing at the last minute.

“Gimme a second, we can go out like that together.” Brooke grins, swiping yet another strand of hair behind her ear as she drops her sweatpants and swaps them for a pair of pajama pants.

“Are you sure?” Vanessa frowns, but Brooke just shrugs, a wry smile spreading on her face.

“I’ve seen yours, now you get to see mine.”

Day 4

They do morning stretches together the next day, and Vanessa has to admit that lust gets pushed aside by jealousy the minute they slide into the splits. Vanessa can do them, even if she hates them–it’s not that she can’t. It’s not even that she’s inflexible, she wouldn’t have survived in dance up until now if she were. But Brooke? That girl is on a whole other level. She slides into the splits with no effort at all, falling into position almost instantly and yet extremely gracefully, then does the one thing Vanessa hates, because it’s the one stretch she can’t do. She grabs a high foam block and puts it under her front foot. And then, just when Vanessa thinks she can’t get shown up even worse, Brooke grabs a second block and slides that under, too.

God, Vanessa wishes she could hate Brooke. But Brooke is too sweet, too kind, and too encouraging to even hold her pretzel-like tendencies against her, especially when she turns to Vanessa and taps her foot, offers her tips on how to get herself to that level of flexibility.

Vanessa tries to tell herself that the way Brooke’s eyes seem to linger on her every few minutes is just that generosity, a teacher monitoring her pupil. But even after Brooke helps Vanessa slide a small book under her foot, elevating her leg just enough, the lingering continues, and it’s hard not to let wishful thinking–at least, she thinks that’s what it is–take over. And that feeling only gets stronger as they move to their next stretch, one where they’re toe to toe with their legs spread wide and Brooke is grabbing Vanessa’s hands to pull her hardly an inch away from her chest.

Is it just Vanessa, or is Brooke blushing? And is it just Vanessa, or are Brooke’s hands just a little sweaty under their softness, warm and gentle as if they’re trying to hold Vanessa with as much tenderness as they can? And is it just Vanessa, or has Brooke’s chest gone still, her breathing stopped until Vanessa straightens out again?

“Your turn.” Vanessa offers, pulling Brooke into the position she’d just been in, and from the way Brooke comes to a harsh, sudden, stiff stop, but her muscles don’t shake and her breathing doesn’t change, Vanessa can tell she’s holding back. Almost as if she doesn’t want to get too close.

Vanessa’s imagining it. She has to be imagining it. There’s no other explanation, not a heterosexual one, and Brooke is…

Come to think of it, Vanessa doesn’t know for sure. But she can’t ask, not now; it would be too strange. So instead, she pulls Brooke forward sharply, resisting the urge to giggle when the blonde grunts in surprise at her strength.

“No holding back.” Vanessa shakes her head, smiling far too warmly for Brooke not to know what this is really about. “You can trust me, okay?”

“Okay.” Brooke smiles up at her, and then her muscles relax, and everything feels back to normal.

Day 5

“Truth or dare?”

Brooke turns to look at Vanessa, shifting to sit up as she smiles dubiously. They’re lying on Brooke’s bed together, pressed up against each other in an attempt to both fit in the small space of the double underneath the fuzzy, tickly cushion of Brooke’s top blanket. Vanessa rolls her eyes at Brooke’s skepticism, rolling onto her back to look up at her, grin wide on her face.

“C’mon, you know you want to. We can scroll Reddit later. Truth or dare?”

“Um…” Brooke crinkles her nose as she thinks, and Vanessa has to swallow the thought of how cute the blonde looks like that.

Although admittedly, the fact that she’s starting to hope Brooke keeps thinking isn’t just so she can watch the way Brooke’s brow furrows and muse quietly to herself about how seriously Brooke is taking this choice. Rather, it’s because she knows what she wants Brooke to pick, and the longer Brooke thinks, the more opportunity there is for Vanessa to hope she’ll pick up on the psychic signals she’s trying to send her.

Pick truth, pick truth, pick truth…

“Dare. But I’m not licking anything and I’m not going anywhere naked.”

Damnit.

Vanessa frowns, chewing on her lip as she tries frantically to think of a dare she can ask Brooke to do. It has to be appropriate, obviously, nothing too crazy like she might ask of Silky or her other, closer friends. But it can’t be boring, either—-if there’s one thing Vanessa doesn’t want to be in Brooke’s eyes, it’s boring.

Then, she thinks of the perfect thing. Something that might get at her truth question, that isn’t too high-stakes but definitely still has a bit of an ‘oh shit’ factor—exactly what you want from a dare.

“Dare you to prank call your last ex. On speaker. ” Vanessa smiles triumphantly, sticking out her tongue to tease her roommate. It’s foolproof—depending on the voice, Vanessa will know who Brooke has dated. And if she’s dating someone already, then surely she’ll say that, since admitting it is no problem.

Only, from Brooke’s face, there’s definitely a problem.

“I don’t want to play anymore.” Brooke heaves herself up off the bed, face becoming stony and cold as her eyes cloud over with something that Vanessa can’t quite decipher. Something mixed with anger, sure, but also something…

Crap. Crap, crap, crap. The magnitude of what Vanessa’s just asked of her new friend hits her like a train, and she feels like both the dumbest and worst person in the world at once. She called Brooke out, put her on the spot, and if she is queer? Pretty much just asked her to out herself. Which, unlike someone like Vanessa, who has a pan flag on her desk, not everyone is willing to do.

Brooke isn’t just feeling cornered, she’s feeling afraid.

“Aw, c’mon Brooke, you don’t have to do it if you don’t want—“

“I said I don’t want to play!” Brooke snaps.

There’s a beat, Vanessa’s own heartbeat the only thing she can hear amidst the crushing silence.

“Brooke—“ Vanessa tries again after a moment, her throat going dry as she tries to cut through the sudden tension, but Brooke just turns to her desk, scoops up her things and storms towards the door.

“I’m going for a walk. See you at dinner.”

She slams the door on her way out, and suddenly, getting an answer to Vanessa’s question doesn’t really matter anymore, because there’s no satisfaction in what a reaction that strong might mean. She drops her head in her hands, staying there for a moment before punching the mattress underneath her, rocketing up and grabbing her phone.

“Silk? Yeah, I’m okay, don’t worry, I just… I fucked up.”

Day 6

They don’t talk about it at dinner, nor afterwards. They don’t talk about it the next morning, not during their morning stretches or at breakfast, either. It’s not that they don’t talk; they say good morning, ask each other questions about what time breakfast is, what time Brooke is going to be on a call with her parents. But that’s about as far as it goes; Brooke sticks to business, asking and answering questions in as few words as possible and avoiding Vanessa’s gaze at all costs. It’s torture, the tension eating away at Vanessa’s mind and stinging in her chest. She fucked up, and she fucked up bad , and despite Silky’s advice, she’s not so sure she can fix this.

Still, she supposes it won’t hurt to try.

Brooke is in the shower when Vanessa decides to sneak out, purse over her shoulder and mind ready for a mission. There’s a supermarket open within walking distance of the uni right now, and technically, she’s not supposed to leave campus at all except for emergencies. Which this is, so it should be okay, right? At least, that’s what she’ll say if she gets caught. She’ll have to be fast, and sneaky, and careful not to run into anyone who might ask where she’s going. Come to think of it, she hasn’t been for a walk on the grounds yet, not since arriving–how will it work? Will she have to plan a route? Give it to the front desk? Get a pass or something, to make sure she comes back within the allotted time? This could be dangerous, very dangerous…

“If you’re gonna go to the shop, can you get me a pack of cigs?” The stoner at the front desk doesn’t even bother looking up from whatever he’s doing on the computer as she tries to sneak by, stopping in her tracks at his voice.

Christ, really?

“Sure, whatever.” Vanessa rolls her eyes, a little irritated at how easy this actually is. So much for danger and adventure.

She comes back about an hour later, throws the guy his pack and launches that he owes her eleven over her shoulder, and skips back into her room with a jumbo bag of ketchup Lays in her knapsack.

“Peace offering?” Vanessa grins down at Brooke as the blonde’s mouth drops open first in surprise, then delight as she snatches the snack from Vanessa’s hands.

“Where did you find these?” Brooke squeals with delight as she tears the bag open, breathing in the sharp, slightly-sour smell that makes Vanessa’s nose wrinkle. Still, seeing the look of utter joy on Brooke’s face makes Vanessa so happy that she can’t help but smile, too.

“International aisle.” Vanessa sits on the edge of her bed proudly. “Figured you might like them, seeing as you always say you’re craving them.” She winks, and Brooke rolls her eyes, but giggles despite herself. But the moment passes as soon as it had come, and then they settle into silence again.

Come on, Vanessa. Just face the music. Apologize. She deserves that from you. Vanessa bites her lip, her hands curling into fists as she tries to force her heartbeat even again, because the longer the silence goes on, the more awkward it gets, the more she realizes that it’s now or never for her to make things right.

“Brooke–”

“We don’t have to talk about it.” Brooke says quietly, her voice flat and lifeless and… scared, almost. Vanessa sucks in a breath, her chest sinking as she realizes what’s going on.

“Well… Do you want to?” Vanessa prods, but Brooke doesn’t even look up from the bag of crisps, which suddenly seem to be the most interesting thing in the world despite the dullness in the blonde’s eyes.

“Honestly, I’d rather we didn’t.” When she finally speaks up, her voice is barely above a whisper, and it’s enough to make Vanessa’s heart break.

Not just because she’s lost her chance to apologize–because she knows that tone, knows that look. Knows the hesitancy and caution behind it, the anxiety and the feeling of being trapped and overwhelmed. Knows what kind of revelation that voice and that look are hiding, and how the information Brooke is trying to avoid isn’t actually set in stone yet.

Jesus, she’s fucked up way more than she thought she had.

“Okay.” Vanessa finally nods, sighing deeply. “But if you do… I’m here, okay?”

Brooke hesitates for a moment, but when she does look up, her eyes are full of a gratefulness that’s surprisingly warm. “Okay.”

This time, when silence falls, it’s not awkward, but full of resolution.

“So…” Brooke finally breaks it this time, a slow smile spreading on her face, “They just put up the newest season of The Bachelor online, wanna watch it? We got snacks, after all.” Brooke waves her bag in the air, and Vanessa smiles.

“Shove over, mate. I wanna see what kinda mess the girls are this year.”

[artificialqueens]

Not Nineteen Forever (11) (Branjie/Scyvie)- Ortega

a/n: hey friends! welcome to chapter 11 of N19F, everyone’s favourite chronicles of our uni gals being irresponsible af. this chapter begins our collective slow descent into madness so hope we’re all ready. as always, thank u for the love and pls pls pls send a wee ask into AQ/my blog telling me what ur fav part was!!! i heart serotonin xo

trigger warning: drug use (Snoop Dogg’s favourite garden plant xo)

please note: this fic contains young adults often behaving in irresponsible/unadvisable ways with regards to alcohol, drugs and sex. if you are someone who feels as if they could be heavily influenced by fic and incorporate what happens in the plot into ur own life, pls steer clear!

summary: Brooke, Yvie and Nina are three flatmates who forged a friendship in their first year of university and picked up some other waifs and strays along the way. Now in their final year, there are feelings that need to be unravelled and confessions to be made whilst navigating drunk nights, hungover mornings, takeaways, group chats, library meetups, cafe gossiping, and the small matter of getting a degree.

last chapter: Christmas saw funny jumpers, Secret Santa gifts, and Yvie and Scarlet saying I love you but not-quite-saying-I-love-you.

this chapter: everyone is back at uni after the holidays but somebody’s got cold feet, and not because the flat heating isn’t switched on.

***

Brooke wondered if it was possible to sweat herself to death as she dragged her huge suitcase up the final step to her flat and scrambled around in her backpack. She had never been so excited to take off a jacket in her adult life, but as she fumbled around for her keys she began to wonder if she would ever actually get into her flat. Thankfully, somebody had evidently heard her struggling and the door was suddenly thrown open to reveal Nina, just as smiley, happy and excited to see her as she’d been before Brooke had gone home for the holidays.

“Brookey Brooke Brooke!! Happy New Year!” Nina cried, lurching forward to give her a hug.

“Oh my God, Happy New Year baby. I probably stink of sweat,” Brooke concluded, her puffer jacket feeling more like a portable prison of heat with each passing second. Nina patted her on the back as she pulled away, dragging her suitcase inside in a suitably Mum-like manner.

“Nonsense, come in. I only just boiled the kettle, you’ve got scarily good timing. Yvie’s here with Scarlet. I think they may be banging.”

As Brooke walked past Yvie’s room she heard something that sounded suspiciously like a hiss through a set of teeth, and concluded that Nina was probably right.

“I’ll forgive them. How was New Years’?” Brooke asked, finally peeling her jacket off and throwing herself down on the couch. Nina raised her eyebrows as she poured the kettle out into two mugs.

“Really good,” she said, drawing out the “really” for emphasis. “I mean, it was just me, Silky, Akeria and Vanjie but it was such a great night. Kiki went home with a guy that looked like Thor. It was very bizarre.”

Brooke let out a laugh. She hadn’t felt too much fomo at having missed any New Year’s celebrations, as it was really only the girls whose family homes were closest to the city that were able to meet up and party together. Canada was probably a bit too much of a commute. Brooke self-consciously remembered the texts from Vanessa that came through that night, her stomach flipping over.

“Nobody overdid it, did they?” she found herself asking, keen for an outsider’s perspective on the evening. Nina tutted as she handed Brooke her mug and sat down.

“I mean Silky did, but it was basically her birthday party so nobody would begrudge her it. Vanjie was cute, though, it was a shame you never had any signal,” Nina smiled at Brooke, Brooke feeling a knot in her stomach tighten at her words. She plastered on her best fake smile.

“Aw yeah, she’s a cutie.”

“You must be looking forward to seeing her again? Absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that,” Nina encouraged her, sipping her tea.

“Yeah, of course! But I want to see my girls as well, you know? I mean I haven’t seen you for like, a month. Tell me about you and Monet!” Brooke smiled enthusiastically, jumping at the chance to divert the conversation from the topic of her and Vanessa. She took a big gulp of her tea, hoping it would encourage Nina to talk for as long as she could.

“We’re good! We’re good. I saw her just after Christmas, we met up in town. I’m still absolutely convinced the whole thing’s a massive practical joke and she’ll completely ghost me soon, but I’m trying not to think too much about it otherwise I’ll get too wrapped up in it and end up ruining things,” Nina reeled off, ending her sentence with an awkward shrug and a laugh to match, Brooke unsure if she felt good that the heat was off her and Vanessa or bad that it seemed Nina was a hair’s breadth away from self-sabotaging her potential relationship.

“Well you’ve been seeing each other for what, two months now? That’s getting into girlfriend territory, babe."

"Oh, don’t,” Nina laughed, shaking her head so violently that her tea threatened to splash. “As fucking if. No, I’m just enjoying it while it lasts and whatever happens happens. I mean, I’m hardly going to be the one to end it, am I?"

Brooke raised both eyebrows at her but didn’t push for any more. Brooke always worried about Nina ever so slightly, like the sister she never had. Nina was the best hypewoman around, always preaching self-esteem, confidence and body positivity, but when push came to shove she could only sporadically take that advice herself. Brooke knew that Nina had overcome a lot since her time at high school- she’d always remember when Nina broke down to Brooke in her first year halls room and had told her everything she’d struggled with in the past after a set of girls had laughed at Nina in a kebab shop after a night out. So Brooke could understand that sort of self-love was hard for Nina to maintain. Brooke had noticed it seemed to come to her in ebbs and flows like waves; the crashing-against-rocks happy presence of a Nina who danced about the flat singing to Lizzo in a new outfit she loved deeply contrasting with times where the tide would pull her back out into a sea of shame, unhappy and upset because she’d eaten a share pack of Minstrels quicker than she’d thought possible and was disgusted at herself.

“Anyway. What about you, you going to ask Vanjie to be your girlfriend yet? It’s been longer than two months for you both and in your own words, Ms Hytes, that’s girlfriend territory,” Nina asked eagerly, Brooke almost spilling her tea all over herself in shock. Before she could answer, the kitchen door opened and in walked Yvie and Scarlet one after the other in a set of slightly crumpled clothes. Yvie’s face broke out into a smile as she saw her flatmate and she immediately ran forward toward the sofa Brooke was sat on, crushing her in a half-straddle, half-hug.

“Oh my God, bitch, it’s been forever!! Happy New Year!” she cried, muffled against Brooke’s shoulder.

Happy to see Yvie because she hadn’t seen her in ages and also because her arrival meant she didn’t have to answer Nina’s question, Brooke squeezed back hard. “Happy New Year baby!! How were your holidays? Scarlet, c’mere!”

Scarlet shuffled forward as Yvie ungracefully peeled herself off of Brooke, hugging her slightly more gently which Brooke was grateful for as Yvie spoke. “They were good. Made better by this one coming to see me.”

“Oh, did you go up to Yvie’s?” Brooke asked Scarlet as she pulled away, Scarlet rolling her eyes in mock-exasperation.

“Yeah, well. Someone decided to develop separation anxiety by the time we’d been apart for a fortnight so had me looking up train times before the bells had even rung at midnight,” Scarlet smiled, Yvie giving her a playful shove before pulling her down onto the armchair and into her lap, Scarlet giggling and batting her away.

“Well, you’re still both as gross as you were together the last time I saw you, so I’m glad nothing’s changed,” Brooke snorted, Yvie flipping her middle finger up at her.

“Oh, and you and Vanjie are gonna be totally different when you see each other again,” she rolled her eyes, Brooke clenching her teeth together momentarily. Why did everybody seem to want to bring Vanessa up every two minutes?

“Well yeah, we probably will be. It’s not like we’re together or anything,” Brooke gave an awkward laugh. Suddenly the mood in the room seemed to change. She saw Scarlet stiffen tensely in Yvie’s lap and Yvie look across to Nina, something in her widened eyes that Brooke couldn’t quite make out. As Brooke turned to look at Nina, the other girl seemed to be impervious to the sudden tension and was smiling brightly at her phone.

“Hey, Monet’s wondering if she can come round. We could get pizza, play Mario Kart, maybe get high? We’ve not done that in a while. Sound good?”

Before Brooke could address the shift in atmosphere, Yvie was replying to Nina. “I’d be so down. I’m actually starving.”

“Sounds fun,” Brooke responded, still not quite able to have her smile meet her eyes. “I’ll go unpack my shit and then come back through. Won’t be long!”

Brooke couldn’t have been more glad of a moment to herself as she flung open her bedroom door and crashed down onto her bed, a feeling of seasickness churning in her stomach. Laying on her back, she stared up at the cracks in the ceiling until her eyes began to burn. She took one heavy, deep breath and opened up her phone. Her gut plummeted all over again when she saw the name in her notifications.

V: You get back to flat okay? Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Brooke tapped out a message as quickly as she could, desperate for the interaction to be over.

B: Yep! Just there with the girls just now xxx

A reply came through before Brooke had even had the chance to replace the phone on her bed.

V: Yay!! You gonna come round and cuddle me and play with my hair? lol xxxxxxxxxx

Every single kiss that Vanessa had left at the end of her text felt like a stab in Brooke’s gut. Her entire stomach feeling like a ton of bricks, she replied.

B: Sorry boo we’re just having flat girl time just now! Just the three of us. I’ll see you soon though? Xxx

This pause was longer.

V: Aww damn well I already waited a month I guess I can wait another day :) have fun Brooky xxxxxxxxxxxx

Brooke dropped her phone on the bed, brought her hands up to her face and gave a huge, massive exhale. She didn’t know what the fuck was wrong with her. She didn’t know what had changed. Vanessa was the girl she’d been chasing for essentially her entire university career, the literal girl of her dreams. She had wanted her, and now she had her. And everything was fine. Except everything was far from fine, Brooke thought as she sucked her tense stomach in and willed that horrible sinking feeling to go away. Maybe it was the month-long gap from when they’d last seen each other. Maybe it was the way Vanessa’s texts seemed to shift from fun and flirty and lighthearted to saccharine sweet and intense. Brooke didn’t know, but all she did know was that any time she thought about her and Vanessa as anything more than what they were now or if anyone else brought that idea up, her heart started doing somersaults, and not in a good way.

Guiltily, she took her phone and scrolled up on her and Vanessa’s text history, looking back at their texts from New Years’.

V: Babyyyy xxxx

V: Keep trying to phone u n it’s going to voicemail :((( xxxxxxx

V: it’s so near midnight!!!!! xx

B: Sorry boo my signal is shit! I’m barely able to text :( xxx

B: But Happy New Year for when it comes!!!! Hope you are having a great night, get home safe xxx

V: Aww man that’s shit lmao dw dw xxxxxxxx

V: Happy New Year my baby, you’re the best thing to come out of this whole year and I’m so so glad we got our shit together, I really really really like you and I can’t wait to see where this year takes us xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

B: Awwww baby you’re sweet xxx

B: You never heard of playing hard to get lol (kidding) xxx

V: Ahahahahaha shut up whore xxxxxxxxx

V: Aint gotta play hard to get when you already got me xxxxxxxxxx

But Brooke hadn’t been kidding, and her signal had been fine, and Vanessa’s messages had made her feel worse instead of better. She preferred the old Vanessa, the sexy and suggestive Vanessa who only wanted to fuck all the time and who wasn’t bothered about cuddling or hair-playing or anything like that. All of that scared Brooke. To her, that was what people in committed relationships did, and she wasn’t at the age where she wanted one of those. Or at least, she’d never had anything properly serious before and the prospect of it completely terrified her. Brooke squeezed her eyes shut and tried to focus on breathing deeply. There was no way any unpacking was getting done now, as the top priority was to stop herself spiralling.

Brooke could have lain there for five minutes or forty-five minutes (she had no idea), but soon enough she was jolted out of her reverie as the buzzer went off. She got up and went out into the hall to get it.

"Hello?”

“Brooke, that you? It’s Monet, Neens said I could come round?”

Brooke wanted to repeatedly bash her head against the doorframe. Why did she have to be surrounded by cuddling couples and adorable pet names at a time like this?

“Yeah, no worries! Come up.”

As Brooke held her finger down against the switch to let Monet in, Nina ran out from her bedroom. She’d obviously spent the time making an effort, and her huge mane of wavy blonde hair was half-up half-down in a topknot on her head, her face painted with just enough makeup to look a touch more glam than everyday. She was still in her sweatpants but had changed into a fresh pyjama top. It had Lady from Lady and The Tramp on it, and the slogan “BED HAIR”.

“Is it her? Is she here?” Nina breathed heavily, nudging past Brooke to look through the peephole. Brooke couldn’t help but laugh.

“You sound like the fucking Grim Reaper’s about to come up the stairs, not your girlfriend! Fucking chill,” Brooke spluttered, squeezing Nina round her middle. “It’ll be fine.”

“She’s not my girlfriend! Stop saying that! Oh Jesus, you can’t say that in front of her,” Nina turned to Brooke, mortified. “Do I look okay?”

“You look gorgeous, as always. Interesting outfit choice, though.”

“Well, I want her to think that I always look this good when I’m being a lazy slob around the flat,” Nina shrugged, suddenly tearing her gaze back to the peephole and leaping back from the door as if she’d been scalded. “Fuck! Shit! That’s her, go!"

"Go? Bitch, where?” Brooke burst out laughing, trying to sober up in the hallway as Nina opened the door to Monet, who threw her arms around the other girl and covered both her cheeks in kisses.

“Hey baby! Ugh, I missed you so much,” Monet smiled, Nina growing shy and red as the other girl tapped her on the nose. “Thanks for having me over. I got you flowers!”

Brooke only just noticed the bouquet of bright yellow sunflowers in Monet’s left hand, Nina’s eyes lighting up as they were thrust into her arms.

“Oh, wow! They’re so beautiful, thank you, honey!” Nina smiled, pulling the girl in for another hug.

“Sunflowers for my sunflower. Oh, hey Brooke!” Monet cried as she noticed Brooke, immediately striding towards her and flinging her arms around her in a friendly hug. “How were your holidays? How’s Vanjie?”

Brooke tried her very best to keep from letting her discomfort at the topic of conversation show on her face as she pulled away. “They were…are…both amazing, thanks girl! How were yours?”

“They were great. Glad to be away from my crazy family though. You know you get to a stage when you just can’t live with them a second longer or you’ll commit a mass murder?” Monet chatted away, turning to Nina for validation. Nina screwed up her face and laughed.

“Nah, I think you’re just a psychopath.”

“Mm, you love it though,” Monet smiled, shooting a wink at Nina that instantly rendered her speechless. Monet burst out into a laugh and Brooke tried not to roll her eyes. Why did everyone else seem to fall into their couples so easily? Why did nobody else seem to have doubts or fears? “Come on, let’s get these pizzas ordered. I think my stomach’s eating itself."

Brooke followed the two girls through to the living room, as Nina let Monet know that Scarlet and Yvie were round. Monet turned to Brooke as if she was about to say something, but Brooke watched as Nina grabbed Monet’s wrist and whispered something to her urgently, Monet nodding understandingly. Brooke got the feeling that she had been the subject of the comment.

"Hey Monet!” Yvie called, Monet going over to give Yvie and Scarlet a hug in turn as Nina put the flowers in water.

“Hey ladies! You part of the WaGs of Belford Road too, Scarlet?” Monet asked her, Scarlet laughing and smiling up at her.

“The fuck does WaGs mean, you calling my girlfriend a bitch?” Yvie asked jokingly, Monet sitting down on the sofa and stretching out her legs as if she was one of the flat’s tenants.

“Wives and girlfriends. Mainly used for footballers back in the day but we’re just ballers, I guess.”

“We’d have the full set if Vanj was here,” Scarlet smiled at Brooke, and suddenly yelped, Brooke not missing the dig in the ribs that Yvie gave her. She started to become concerned. Was she making it really obvious that something was wrong?

“Okay, pizza!” Nina suddenly clapped her hands together, making Brooke jump. She scrolled her phone after she sat next to Monet, who threw an arm over her shoulder and pulled her close. “We could get this deal? Cookies, wedges, chicken strippers and two pizzas for £25.99?"

"I’m not sure I’ll want cookies,” Scarlet mused, Brooke deciding she could really do with hitting the bong if only to fucking relax, and that now was as good a time as ever.

“You sure? Not even after this?” Brooke spoke up, holding out the bong and watching Scarlet reconsider.

“What pizzas are we getting?” Monet asked, Yvie instantly sighing the world-weary sigh of a put-upon flatmate. Monet raised a questioning eyebrow Nina’s way.

“Ugh, don’t. It’s a point of contention in this whole flat,” she began explaining. “Yvie likes pepperoni, but not any other meats. I only really like margherita or something chicken-y or vegetable-y. Brooke likes pineapple and olives-”

“Hold the fuck up,” Monet stopped Nina, whipping her head round to cast Brooke a judgemental glare that she almost missed, too busy tipping the weed out onto the gauze.

“That’s disgusting, Brooke,” Scarlet wrinkled her nose up, Brooke rolling her eyes as she searched for a lighter.

“Fucking hell, guys, it’s not a raw fucking sausage! It’s a bit of fruit and a bit of vegetable!” she sighed. Seeing her obvious distress, Monet produced a pink Bic from the pocket of her black jeans and held it out to her, Brooke taking it gratefully and striking up.

“…So you see the issue we have whenever we want a pizza in this flat,” Nina finished as the smoke hit the back of Brooke’s throat and she exhaled quicker than she would have liked, punctuating the whole thing with a cough and a splutter.

“Do you ever just get a half and half?” Scarlet asked innocently. Yvie squeezed her shoulder and laughed good-naturedly.

“Babe, I know you weren’t any good at Maths in high school, but there’s only two parts to a half."

"You like…pepperoni, right?” Nina narrowed her eyes as she tried to remember Monet’s favourite. The other girl responded by leaning in and kissing her cheek, smiling.

“Aww, Neens! You remembered,” Monet smiled, delighted. Yvie turned to Scarlet and frowned.

“Yours is…Hawaiian?”

Scarlet laughed. “Barbecue chicken. Monet, can we swap girlfriends?”

Brooke’s eyebrows flew up her forehead involuntarily as Nina completely froze, but Monet simply laughed back. “Sorry sweetie, this one’s mine. I can rent her out though. Five pounds an hour?”

“Eh, excuse me! I am actually here, you know?” Nina cried, seemingly much more relaxed now that Monet hadn’t freaked out at the label Scarlet had given them.

“Right, what fucking pizzas are we getting? The munchies are going to kick in in about twenty minutes so let’s go,” Brooke asked decisively, squeezing herself down beside Monet and Nina.

“Well, half and half both of them so that there’s four,” Monet suggested, gesturing to Yvie. “Me and Yvie like pepperoni, so let’s do half pepperoni, Neens if you like chickeny things then let’s have you sharing a barbecue chicken with Scarlet…we can make another half pineapple and olives for Brooke’s Satanic tastebuds and…that means we’ve got another half to play with.”

“Oh my God. Monet, can we keep you?” Yvie asked incredulously. “I think that’s the quickest we’ve ever decided on an order.”

“Let’s just make the last half margherita, then we can all have a bit,” Scarlet shrugged, Nina nodding and quickly ordering. Soon enough, the bong was getting passed round and the girls all settled into their respective seats lazily, the Wii soon getting fired up and many rounds of Mario Kart getting played. Eventually, it ended in a fierce battle between Yvie and Brooke.

“Oh, Christ!” Yvie groaned, Scarlet, Nina and Monet howling with laughter at Yvie’s dismay as she flew off the course. “I got a fucking mushroom and I used it…on a corner…like a squandering fucking toddler!”

“Eat shell dick, King Boo,” Brooke muttered, sending a blue shell with her right trigger as the buzzer to the flat went off.

“I’ll get it!” Monet cried excitedly, Nina getting slightly dislodged as she leapt off the sofa and ran through to the hall. As Monet returned with numerous boxes piled high on top of each other, Brooke sped across the finish line and cheered.

“You’re a fucking cheat,” Yvie scowled at her, pointing an accusatory finger her way. Brooke snorted a laugh.

“Hey! No fighting!” Nina chastised, ripping a box open to reveal a pizza with a curious variety of toppings.

“You’re my winner, boo,” Scarlet smiled at her girlfriend, Yvie instantly softening and kissing her on the cheek. Suddenly, four sets of phones went off and Scarlet checked hers first.  

Akeria Sainsburys Bag for Life: Alright hoes are we all back from home?

Okay Then: i’m still in Dubai sorry xoxo

Brooke’s Ford Transit Vanjie: Oo00oooh alright for some xoxo

Akeria Sainsburys Bag for Life: Jeez Plastique that must be so hard for you, thoughts and prayers up xo

Akeria Sainsburys Bag for Life: The reason I ask is because we at Antigua Road want a night outtt

Scarlet’s bitch: sorry guys we could not be further from a night out mood

mose: Yeah sorry ladies I am jetlagged as fuck

Kim Kardashian-West: Sorry girls :( Monet and Scarlet are round at ours though if anyone wants to join!!

Brooke’s stomach dropped as she remembered her lie to Vanjie. Shit.

“Nina, fuck,” Brooke said involuntarily, the other girls turning to her curiously.

“What did I do?”

The churning in Brooke’s stomach was back as if it had never left. She paused, looking back down at her phone. The chat had gone strangely quiet. Brooke bit at the skin on her thumb. “Nothing. Don’t worry about it.”

Yvie, ever the anti-bullshit merchant, narrowed her eyes at Brooke. “Are you okay, girl? You don’t seem so good today.”

Brooke was on the defense before she knew it. “I’m fine! I’m good!"

Before anyone else could say a thing, Brooke’s phone lit up. She was being phoned, and she didn’t have to look to see who it was.

Fuck.

Ignoring the rest of the girls, she walked out of the living room and into the hall, only answering her phone when she was safely in her own room. She took a deep breath before she spoke, keeping her tone deliberately, painfully, light.

"Hey boo!”

“Hey Brooke Lynn,” Vanessa’s voice was a similarly forced upbeat, but Brooke’s heart sank at the upset behind it. “Um, I’m just…I’m a little confused.”

“Okay, what’s up?” Brooke asked lightly, growing more convinced by the second that she was developing a stomach ulcer.

“So, uh…I thought you guys were having a girls’ night, and then Nina said that Monet and Scarlet were over…you know, it just seems a bit like the others have their girls round?” Vanessa questioned, her voice measured and calm and small and making Brooke feel like a massive dick.

“Yeah, no, uh…” she began, not really knowing how she was going to excuse herself. “I mean, no, I thought that too until I realised Yvie had Scarlet round and then Nina told me Monet was coming…just one of those things, you know? I mean I’d thought it was just a flat night too.”

“Right, sure,” Vanessa’s voice was understanding, and Brooke’s heart felt sore. She suddenly remembered something Vanessa had said.

“Besides, Monet and Nina aren’t together. It’s only Yvie and Scarlet that are girlfriends."

Brooke heard the hiss of a sigh come from the other end of the line. ”Brooke, can I ask you a question?“

"Sure.”

“Are we okay? You know, what we’ve got goin’ on. Are you still happy?”

Brooke’s stomach dropped to the floor. She had the smallest possible time gap to confront all the feelings she’d been trying to push to the back of her mind, and it was an impossible task. All day her stomach had been in knots at the thought of seeing Vanessa, but now that she was faced with the prospect of losing her she found herself panicking. She still liked Vanessa. Everything was just so new and different. She had to articulate that to her.

“Yeah, of course, definitely,” Brooke began, the audible sigh of relief on the other end of the line making guilt stab at her heart. “It’s just…everything’s so fresh, you know? I just want to take things as slow as we can. I like how we are, and I don’t want anything to change anytime soon.”

“Okay. No, don’t worry, I get it. I get it, and I don’t want to mess up either. So I’m happy to do whatever you want,” Vanessa said, her tone more cheerful now.

“I’m sorry if I freaked you out. Do you, uh. Do you still want to come round?”

“Nah, don’t worry, baby. I think us three are still gonna go out, so sorry in advance if I phone you at three in the morning.”

Maybe it was because she hadn’t seen Vanessa in a while, Brooke comforted herself, her heart swelling at the smile she could hear in her voice. Once they were together again and Vanessa would wind her up and they would kiss all rough and hot the way Brooke liked, then things would be better.

Enthused by her new-found optimism, Brooke found herself smiling. “Thanks for the warning. I’ll make sure my phone’s turned off.”

“Bitch. Cut that attitude or you won’t get any cute photos of my outfit.”

Brooke felt a heat curl in her stomach. “I’m more interested in what’s under the outfit, to be honest.”

“You’re a nasty fuckin’ whore. You might get somethin’ if you’re lucky. Okay, I gotta go, but I’ll see you soon, yeah?"

"Yeah, soon. Have a good night, stay safe,” Brooke signed off, relaxing slightly on her bed.

“I will. Bye, boo.”

“Bye.”

Brooke hung up, laying her head against the pillow and breathing out gently. Things were okay. She’d just had a wobble. She still liked Vanjie. They would be fine.

Before she could contemplate any more, her bedroom door burst open to reveal Yvie who marched in and perched herself on the end of the bed.

“Would a knock kill you?” Brooke rolled her eyes, too drained to be properly annoyed.

“Okay, talk to me,” Yvie demanded, her eyes full of concern. “You’re not fine. What’s up?”

Brooke knew she couldn’t lie to either of her flatmates, least of all Yvie. She groaned, unwilling to think any more about the situation but being forced to anyway. “Okay, it’s honestly nothing.”

Yvie said nothing, instead continuing to look at her, worry covering her face.

“When you began seeing Scarlet,” Brooke began unsteadily. “Did you ever…you know. Have second thoughts? Or any doubts or anything?”

“Absolutely fucking not,” Yvie said instantly, frowning. “But I know where this is going.”

Brooke’s stomach gave a spasm, instantly feeling the guilt seep through her again. “I feel so shit…and I’m sure it’s just a blip because I’ve not seen her in ages. But everything’s just getting too intense too quickly, you know? I’m happy just chilling with Vanessa, but I feel like she wants a girlfriend and I’m not ready for all that just yet. I thought I would be, but I’m not. Actually I don’t know if I thought I would be or not. The whole thing’s fucking with my head.”

Yvie sat and listened to her ramble on, then when she was sure she was finished she reached forward and took her hand. “Okay. First thing is, you’re completely valid. Everyone gets second thoughts about a potential relationship at one stage or another.”

“You’ve literally just said you haven’t.”

“Ignore that. Do as I say, not as I do, or..whatever. It’s a big commitment, and it’s easy to freak out. But I would just remember…” Yvie began, her face becoming pained as she looked right in Brooke’s eyes. “…how long you liked Vanjie for. How many times you were so close to telling her you liked her, and how many times you shat out. How fuckin’ happy you must have been when you kissed for the first time or when you told each other you liked each other. Fuck knows when Scarlet told me she felt the same way as I did, my brain produced the most sorotonin that’s ever been in my body in my entire life. Like, if you think you want to end things with Vanj, that’s fine. But you need to be honest with her, girl.”

Brooke remembered the day she’d finally been brave enough to kiss Vanessa and how her mind had completely short-circuited as their lips made contact. She remembered how wanted Vanessa had made her feel the first time they’d slept with each other, and the complete euphoria Brooke had felt when Vanessa told her she liked her back. All of those memories just made her feel more guilty at the fact that she felt more worried about the prospect of seeing Vanessa than excited. Remembering her internal pep-talk from earlier, Brooke shrugged.

“I know. I’m being an idiot. And I don’t want to end things with her, that’s stupid. It’s probably all the time we spent apart, right? Like I’ll probably see her and it’ll all fall back into place and I’ll feel just like I felt before the holidays again.”

“Absolutely,” Yvie smiled a little as she reassured her. Letting go of her hand, she patted Brooke’s leg. “You good?”

Brooke didn’t allow herself to think too much about it. “Yeah. Thanks for the pep talk.”

“Come on, then. There’s pizza that needs eating.”

As Brooke rose from the bed and followed Yvie to the door, she felt struck by a sudden dread. “Yvie?”

The other girl turned around and looked at her expectantly.

“Would you mind if we just kept this conversation between ourselves?”

Yvie nodded reassuringly and held the door open for Brooke, Brooke walking through it quickly and reassuring herself with exactly the same words as she’d done before. Things were okay. She’d just had a wobble. She still liked Vanjie. They would be fine.

[artificialqueens]

Perfect Places... a simple song turned to a symphony. (Ninex) - Chapter 2 - Saiphl

A UK tour is happening and also, a story that no one expected to start. Not even their protagonists.

I’m really sorry for the delay on the posting, it’s been a crazy couple of months, but I hope you enjoy this little part of the ride.

Again thanks to Molly, Mistress, Meggie and Sheavelour for giving this little mess a little shape.

============================================================

Interlude. In the Shadows.

an intervening or interruptive period, space, or event

It’s early March and the weather is harsh, even by British standards. The road is hard, especially when you’re travelling in a bus full of crossdressers, sleeping in uncomfortable bunk beds thousands of miles away from home. They’ve been crammed inside the tour bus ever since landing at Heathrow. It would take them to their show in London, then they’d have to pack everything back into their suitcases to continue to the following city.

It seems to them that it’s already been hours since they climbed the bus and hit the road. Many are asleep, light snoring echoes throughout the narrow hallway.

For some queens like Asia, Kameron and Cracker, this isn’t anything new.They have been touring together for some time, as their managers booked them together for the UK tour leg. By this point the three queens are veterans and have gotten used to sleeping, even when standing, whenever they have the chance. Nina knew the tour would be tough on his body and even harder on his mental state.

Jetlag keeping him up, Nina lays wide awake on his bunk long after the show. He has nothing better to do than scroll endlessly through social media The music that plays from his earbuds, which claims to be ‘relaxing’. isn’t helping at all. It is almost four o’clock in the morning, and, according to his iPhone, late night in New York. Not even thinking, he clicks the button.

Monét is organic, both of them easily falling into conversation. They keep talking, their conversation soon muffled by the snoring of the other queens.

Monét is sleepy, his day off from work is nearing its end. He has a flight to catch early the next morning, heading for the south of the continent. They just do some small talk until Nina notices Monét falling asleep, the younger man unable to help the tiredness showing on his face. He had a thousand errands to run in the short time he was home. Nina smiles sweetly at him, a sympathetic smile being the last thing the other he sees that night. Monét wishes him a good tour and sweet dreams, Nina wishes him a good night and a safe flight.

The image fades to black on the screen, and Nina takes his earbuds off to put them safely inside case. A sudden noise catches his attention. He’s sure he hadn’t heard any of the girls in the other bunks make that kind of sound. Silky’s motorboat like snoring makes him lose focus. Nina shakes his head, sliding to the edge of the bunk to listen closer, then there it is again. Muffled sighs, and maybe something sounding sloppy and wet.  Asia’s sleep talking makes the noises stop for a second and the bus drowns in the sounds of the road.  

He saw some of the queens getting cozy and handsy after some drinks, so he couldn’t guess who was the perpetrator. It was well known that when they were on tour, the long travelling and the distance could make a queen feel lonely. Still, this was too early in the tour for them to get thirsty.

By the following morning, most of the girls are whispering and gossiping. Nina doesn’t really care about the details, what catches his interest is that Brooke’s name comes up. The girls talk, read and suggest increasingly unrealistic theories. Nina listens to each, trying to make sense of what he heard the night before. Above all, he wasn’t willing to risk his relationship with Brooke by asking something he’s not ready to discuss.

One thing is sure: Cracker and Brooke got closer, even though they try to fool everyone by sitting far apart everywhere they go. Sure, they banter and play with the others, but something between them has changed. Nina knows it, he can feel how the tension between them grows thicker the further apart they are from each other.

The night of Brooke’s birthday, the whole lineup goes out to party. They drink, they dance, they have a blast of a night off. And Nina can see it clear as day, how Brooke has spent time with each girl of the cast but always, always, ends up gravitating towards one of them. Maybe both of them are gravitating towards each other. A cute British boy, with dark hair and a couple inches shorter than Brooke is flirting with him. Returning from the bar, Cracker freezes at the sight of them on the dance floor. It happens in a millisecond. The beers in Cracker’s hands land with contented fury over the table, a forced laugh spills from his lips, and his face contorts into a smile faker than a three dollar bill.

Cracker excuses himself to the restroom. As he walks away his hands turn to fists in one of the most incredible displays of self control Nina has ever seen. Brooke seems oblivious to what happened until Cracker’s glacial dark brown eyes make him freeze. The cute boy is clinging to Brooke’s neck and he seems to realize what’s happening. At the table, Nina is the first to go after Cracker, the crowd of the bar hindering him when they recognize him and ask for pictures. When he breaks free and looks around again, the cute boy is standing confused at the edge of the dance floor and Brooke is nowhere to be seen.

Around half an hour later, Brooke bids everyone good night and leaves the bar. Cracker never returns from the restrooms. The rest of the girls stay at the bar for a couple more hours, then call it a night and head to the hotel. All the while, Nina’s been texting Brooke, who barely answered his messages. He’s worried. Brooke is one of his best friends and he’s almost sure he’s playing games with Cracker. That was, for sure, a very dangerous liaison. Cracker is friends with Vanjie, and Brooke is the guy who broke Vanjie’s heart despite loving him dearly. Because, Brooke is still in love with Vanjie, isn’t he?

All the answers to his questions come as soon as he arrives at his hotel room. He knows Brooke’s room is just beside his, and he wants to know if his friend is alright, leaving his own birthday party earlier than the guests isn’t his typical behavior. Nina stops in front of Brooke’s door and knocks. It’s ajar. A long sigh can be heard beyond the door.

“You said it wouldn’t happen again”, Brooke whispers, voice cracking in the last word, a sloppy sound muffled behind, then another voice.

“Then… happy birthday, and this is just the beginning.” Nina can’t recognize the voice, it’s so low that he can barely even understand the words.

The mystery finds an answer a second later, when Brooke whispers “Fuck… Max!”. Nina feels like a nasty Peeping Tom, so he carefully closes the door and returns to his room. He doesn’t sleep that night, wondering if he should talk to Brooke, or just play the fool and pretend nothing happened. He decides it’s better to keep his mouth shut and let Brooke speak for himself when the time comes.

Brooke never says anything. Time goes by and the tour comes to an end. They are all in Heathrow, luggage already registered and all saying their goodbyes while they wait for their flights to depart. Nina and Brooke are in the same flight back to LA for a viewing party the following day. Nina is looking for their gate when he sees them.

Cracker and Brooke are standing under the departures screen on the gate B36. The smaller man is holding his left arm with the right hand that crosses his chest, his messenger bag hanging loosely from his small frame. Brooke’s left hand is on the other man’s shoulder; his own a little shrugged. The last call to Cracker’s flight is announced and they look intensely into each other’s eyes, then hug and their lips collide in a kiss that looks both desperate and needy. Nina keeps walking and decides to keep that knowledge to himself.

Monét and Nina are texting, it’s a bit past mid April and they haven’t seen each other in a while. They’re both in opposite corners of the US and those messages have been a luxury they could barely afford. They’re catching up, and Monét casually comments that Brooke showed up in New York. Nina knows Brooke doesn’t have any bookings there, he actually just came back from Toronto and supposedly would take a couple of days off before flying again. Monét drops the subject and Nina is grateful, he doesn’t want to think of the things he heard or saw back in London. He doesn’t want to stir the pot.

Gigs come and go, Nina and Brooke join the last leg of the season eleven tour. It’s the final lap before pride madness. He can tell something’s changed. Vanjie and Brooke are in this final leg and they seem friendly. It’s not the kind of tense friendly that says something’s going on, but the kind of friendly that allow them to be comfortable around each other again.

Vanjie is dating someone else. He learns his name is Aiden, and can’t help but get infected by the Puerto Rican’s joy. His smile is authentic this time.

Brooke is all but bouncing off the walls, the heart of the party, cheering the happiness of his former lover. He’s sober and barely smoking, he dances, banters, and has fun.

He’s happy and Nina can’t help but feel the same for his friend. Another thing that has changed: even though Brooke has always been a flirt, he’s not looking for trade.

If there’s something in this world that Nina knows well, it’s that look on Brooke’s face. The shiny eyes, the goofy smile, the glow on his face when he furiously types messages on his phone. For the first time in over a year, Nina is scared.

He has seen Brooke fall in love as fast as his heart gets broken. He was there to pick up the pieces when Branjie went down. He spent long hours talking to a drunk Brooke on the phone. The Brooke that missed Vanjie but was scared enough to run away when everything got too serious. Nina knows. somehow this is a recipe for disaster and he can’t let his friend fall hard this time.

Rumours start coming and going about All Stars 5, the kind of rumours that put names on the board and tear others to the ground. One of those days, both Nina and Brooke are on one of those extremely rare days off on the final episodes of their season. They’re in Columbus and there’s a bunch of guys trying to snatch Brooke’s attention, and he’s dodging them like a pro.

Nina’s curiosity finally wins over and, not even thinking about it, pulls Brooke to their booth. It takes most of Nina’s efforts to finally get Brooke talking, reluctantly. They have a long conversation. He speaks about what happened in the UK, and how he feels being around Cracker. He says he wanted to surprise him by showing upon his birthday party. Still, Brooke is in clear denial, saying that they’re just exclusive in sex, that nothing’s happening between them aside the amazing sex they have. Nina wants to slap Brooke.

When the conversation is over Brooke has finally admitted he has feelings for Cracker, but he’s afraid to screw that up like he did with Vanjie. Nina tells Brooke that no one that’s not even a little bit involved in a relationship kiss someone that way in an airport gate. Nina would never admit that he knows that by his own experience, he would never admit that he was also falling hard in love.

June went by in a blink, then came July. Nina is exhausted, his schedule busier than ever, and he barely had time to properly make himself comfortable at home. He’s coming back from the Safari in Powell when something catches his attention. At his front door, sitting besides a small carry on and takeout from his favourite restaurant, is Monét.

They haven’t seen each other in months, and even if the facetime calls and the texts are regular, finally being face to face is something they’ve been craving for long.

Monét gets to his feet, his sore body grateful from the change of position. Nina touches his face, a wide smile spreading on his lips  while he leans to kiss the other. Time stops for a second, then they break up the kiss, giggling like teenagers.

They end up tangled on Nina’s living room couch, barely covered by a fleece blanket and lazily making out after one of the best sex they’ve ever had. Monét stays for some days, and Nina feels like he really came back home.

Nina is in the shower the day it happens. Monét is scrolling down on Instagram when he finds a picture of Cracker totally melted on a very tall blonde man on the dance floor of a club. He has to re-read at least three times the comments to actually get what’s happening, he immediately calls his friend. The image on the screen confirming what he just saw on the pictures, and he let the lovebirds know they’ve been outed in social media, which makes Cracker wake up with a jolt, then, they hang up.

Monét runs to the bathroom, cutting Nina’s inspired performance of “A Whole New World.” Nina looks at him, concerned, cuts the water and reaches for his towel looking at Monét’s phone screen, a relieved laugh leaving his body. Monét looks at him, a big question mark on his face. Nina tells him he was there since the beginning, back in that tour bus in London.

[artificialqueens]

New Testament, Chapter One (Branjie) - VoskaVixen

Read on Ao3 | Tumblr: VoskaVixen | Word Count: 3,483

A/N: Hi there! This is my first fanfiction, I hope you all like it! ♡

Summary: Brooke Lynn is your average church-going christian, with a few secrets. Vanjie, well, Vanjie is a secret. Based on the song “Scotty Doesn’t Know” by Lustra, it was on repeat while I was writing!

“Hey Brooke, slow down girl!” Nina shouted as she sped through the crowded hall, squeezing past the hovering groups of students and ignoring the glares they were shooting her. Sighing, Brooke turns around to watch as Nina approaches with Plastique following closely behind.

“Thought we lost you there, is there somewhere you need to be?” Nina continued, slowing to a walk beside her with Plastique at her shoulder.

“Just the usual, Youth Group, you know?” Brooke replies as she throws the pair an apologetic smile. It’s the same excuse she’s been using for the past few weeks now and honestly she’s surprised they haven’t questioned her about her sudden weekly routine, but it seems to satisfy the girls.

“Ah damn! I forgot you were volunteering…” Plastique mused as she piped in, scrunching up her face in thought. “What about Saturday, are you free to come to my party? My parents won’t be home!”

“Oh gosh, I completely forgot… is it okay if I let you know later? It’s just that I’d have to get a lift sorted, I’ll have to get up early for church and all.” She answers, shrugging.

Usually she would love an opportunity to spend some quality time with her friends, but she suspected something else would require her attention, which was currently sounding much more appealing to the tall blonde.

Plastique nodded enthusiastically, happy that Brooke hadn’t completely dismissed the idea. “Of course.” She stated, before glancing menacingly over at Nina. “Just let me know as soon as you can though, yeah? I know a certain guy who would love to see you there!” She continued before dissolving into a fit of giggles as Nina joined in.

Rolling her eyes, Brooke was about to reply with a very sarcastic “if he really knew her, he wouldn’t be interested.” but the words died in her throat as she heard yelling from outside the building. The trio turned and shared a look before heading for the doors, walking through the entrance and being greeted with a small crowd forming around their fellow classmates, Silky Ganache and Yvie Oddly as the two shouted obscene profanities at each other.

The pair faced off for several minutes, and Brooke was about to continue on as she was unable to make out most of what they were saying from where she was standing when a loud booming voice halted any movement that was going on.

“HOLD UP.” A deep throaty voice shouted above the crowd as it’s owner made their way through the growing crowd. Brooke watched as a small brunette elbows her way into the circle, whipping people with her long hair as she passes them.

“I left y’all hoes for two minutes. Two frickin’ minutes.” Vanjie groaned as she stared at the pair of loud mouths. The surrounding crowd began to fan away, disappointed that their show was now over, however, Brooke was even more intrigued as the small firecracker took control.

Just as the last of the group thinned out, Vanjie shot her hand out to grab another girl who had been attempting to silently escape.

“Hold up there Mary, I left you in charge of them, I told y’all they can’t be left alone and now look what’s happened!” Vanjie scolded, still holding on to A’Keria’s jacket as she, along with the other two girls, hung her head in shame.

“Those girls are nothing but trouble, I tell you.” Nina stated as she shook her head, effectively snapping Brooke’s attention away from the group. Realising that both Plastique and Nina were watching her, she quickly wiped the smile from her face and let out a small cough in an attempt to drag their attention away from the awe stricken expression she had been exhibiting.

“Aren’t they?” She agrees as a buzzing from her phone is heard, causing her to glance down at the notification she just received. Illy disguising a smile playing on her lips, she looked up at her friends. “Listen, I’ll text you girls later, but I really need to get going.”

“Oh of course! Would you like a lift?” Plastique offered as she jiggled her car keys in her direction, a wide grin on her face. Smiling at her friend’s thoughtfulness, Brooke thanked her graciously before pulling them both into a hug.

“I’m fine, I don’t mind the walk.”

Glancing over Nina’s shoulder, she could see that Vanjie had finished scolding the rest of her friend group and was waving goodbye to them as she walked towards the car park around the corner.  

“Okay… if you’re sure…” said Plastique as she moved back out of the embrace, earning a nod from Brooke in return.

The group waved goodbye as they headed in opposite directions, with Plastique and Nina both heading towards the car park and Brooke heading for the nearest campus exit.

As she neared the exit, Brooke quickly glanced around for anyone she recognised to ensure that she wasn’t being watched, or worse, followed before she continued on, walking briskly for several minutes down the bare path. The Canadian had purposefully chosen that exit as it wasn’t used often.

Continuing down the path at a slower pace, Brooke heard a car approaching and turned around, watching as a beat up economy car jolted to a stop on the road beside her.

“You gettin’ in, mama?” a distinctive voice boomed from inside the car before the window was even a quarter of the way down, causing a wide smile to grace the blonde’s lips.

Opening the passenger door, Brooke lowered herself into the seat, before turning to look at her companion who was grinning back at her. She let her eyes run appreciatively across the small woman’s face as she took in her painted red lips and fluttering eyelashes.

“You look really goo-” She began but lost all train of thought as Vanjie pushed herself across the car’s control console and her lips are on hers before she can finish her breath, a hand snaking up around the back of her head and tangling in her hair as she pulls her closer.

The kiss was over far too soon in Brooke’s opinion, as Vanessa pulled back to grin wildly, her eyes shining brightly from beneath her thick lashes.

“I missed you.” Vanessa whispered as if she was admitting it for the first time and they hadn’t been secretly dating for several months now, causing Brooke to let out a breathy laugh.

“We’ve been in the same classes all day, how could you possibly have missed me?” she questions as she rolls her eyes, simultaneously reaching over to place her hand over Vanessa’s and unconsciously draw shapes along her palm.

“It’s not the same…” Vanessa responds as she frowns and looks away from Brooke.

Using the hand that’s already on Vanessa’s, she interlaces their fingers and uses her other arm to tilt her head back towards Brooke.

“I know Nessa, but we’re together now and we have the whole weekend, yeah?”

The brunette’s lips quirk up in a small smile at the use of the nickname Brooke gave her and she nods briefly.

“You’re right, as usual.” She says in response before gesturing to Brooke to put her seat belt on. “Now, where you wanna go mama?”

|| - X - ||

Finally, the paired decided on a small local diner on the other side of town, partially due to it not being very well known to their friends but mostly because Vanessa swore by their milkshakes and Brooke knew that if Vanessa, the biggest sweet tooth in existence, thought highly enough of them to call them her favourite then they must be good.

As usual, Vanessa chatters away on the drive to the diner, describing in great detail what happened throughout the day, as if Brooke hadn’t been sitting across the room for the most part, competing the story with hand gestures as her voice grows increasingly louder throughout the story.

Brooke is happy to just sit back and watch, drinking her in, as she muses about how enthusiastic Vanessa is about everything. She’s convinced that she could listen to Vanessa talk forever and never grow tired of it, but watching her is even more fun. The facial expressions she pulls without realising she’s doing so are Brooke’s favourite, as Vanessa is known to wear her emotions on her sleeve and Brooke loves watching as her nose crinkles and her eyes flutter close when she giggles.

She’s the warmest and softest person that Brooke knows, and the most fiercest and unapologetically brutal due to how straight forward she could be. Brooke loved how she refuses to sugar-coat anything, yet she still maintains an aura of innocence and elegance.

She is herself; and she is proud.

And Brooke is unworthy.

By the time Brooke snaps out of her thinking, they have arrived at the diner and Vanessa has already unbuckled her seat belt and is looking over at her with a quirked eyebrow.

“Bitch, you gotta stop oferani-, overanu-, overthinking.” Vanessa states as she shakes her head, causing Brooke to inwardly cringe at her unnecessary use of profanity.

“You’re right, sorry.” Brooke quickly apologises and then curses herself silently under her breath. Vanessa is always telling her off for over-apologising and she already knows she is going to do it again, almost hearing the words before Vanessa has the chance to voice them.

“You don’t gotta apologise, baby. Just relax, it’s just us.” Vanessa sweetly replies without realising that, that was half of the problem.

Brooke attempted to suppress her anxious thoughts and let a small smile build on her lips as she met Vanessa’s eyes. Quickly removing her seat belt, she attempts to lighten the mood.

“Come on then, let’s go.”

“Yes! Let’s get those cookies mama!” Vanessa excitedly replies as she jumps out of the car and albeit skips towards the diner’s entrance, only just remembering to stop at the door to wait for Brooke, who simply shakes her head in disbelief at her girlfriend’s response.

The two manage to find a booth in the far corner of the brightly lit diner and Brooke quickly takes note of how quiet it is. It’s small but cheery, a little old-fashioned - just like the rest of the town.

A sweet-looking waitress came over and presented the girls with a menu each, asking if they would like anything to drink before she left them alone again. As much as Brooke tried not to, she couldn’t help but wonder what the woman was thinking.

Did she know? Were they being obvious?

Biting her lip, Brooke attempts to focus on the laminated menu in front of her, the words blurring together into a pile. Just when she thought she was going to pass out from the stress and anxiety, a hand stretched across the table and reached out, grabbing a hold of her wrist and moving to  intertwine their fingers.

Vanessa carried on reading the menu, seemingly oblivious despite her actions, and without glancing up she begins to speak. “I’mma get the cookies and cream milkshake… do you think it comes with a cookie? Oh, I hope so!” she mused, as she continued pretending to read the menu. “What about you?”

Sighing in relief, Brooke knew that with Vanessa by her side, she could conquer anything.

“I…” She began, quickly glancing down at her menu. “I think I’ll get the same.” she replies, scanning the menu with not much thought.

“Oh!” Vanessa exclaims excitedly. “Why don’ we get one a them sharing ones? Yanno, with the two straws?” She says, or shouts as she gets more excited. “Sounds real romantic.” She finishes, as she looks up at Brooke while wiggling her eyebrows, earning a giggle from the blonde.

“Sounds perfect.”

It didn’t take long for the two to order and receive their shared milkshake.

The two sipped in comfortable silence for a few moments, before Brooke pulled back to smile at Vanessa.

“This is really good!” She says as she leans forward to take another sip, continuing to keep eye contact with Vanessa as she realises how close they are, their foreheads almost touching.

“Really?” Vanessa questions excitedly. “I’m glad you like it!”

“Yeah. We should come here again, for another date.” She replies as the two continue to work their way through their milkshake.

Vanessa agrees.

“What excuse did you use this time?” Vanessa questions, as she wiggles her eyebrows and before Brooke can reply, she’s already listing scenarios.

“I need to wash my pet goldfish-”

Brooke scowls playfully as Vanessa erupts into a mass of foghorn-esque giggles.

“I don’t have a goldfish, that would hardly work.” She replies as she rolls her eyes.

“Hmmm.” Vanessa pouts. “You should get one.” she replies, causing Brooke to join in on her laughter.

“Wait! Was it the good ol’ I need to reorganise my closet?”

“Nessa! I told you not to ever bring that up again!”

“I can’t believe they fell for that, you surely are something else mama.”

The couple are so lost in their discussion that they do not acknowledge it when the diner’s door opens and a familiar face walks in.

“Brooke?” A voice sounded from the front of the diner, causing the pair’s conversation to come to a halt as they look around.

“Plastique!” Brooke exclaims, almost choking in shock at the sight of her friend; who had already started walking towards their table.

“What are you doing here? I  thought you were at that youth club thing!” Plastique questioned, before taking notice of Vanessa sitting across from Brooke and Brooke watches as she observes the singular milkshake, her eyes widening at the two straws.

Brooke’s head spins as she tries to think of an excuse, her eyes fleeting between Vanessa and Plastique.

“We were, we left early.” Vanessa lied as she turns away from Brooke, giving Plastique her full attention.

“Oh right! I didn’t know you went Vanjie, Brooke’s never mentioned it.”

Brooke quickly snapped into action, joining in on the conversation.

“She doesn’t, today was her first day. We came here to discuss it.” She explained, hoping that her expressions were neutral and she wasn’t giving anything away.

“Oh! Well, I hope you don’t mind if I join you, do you?” Plastique questioned, as she began to slide in beside Brooke, not even waiting for an answer as she continues on with small talk about the menu.

Out of the corner of her eye, Brooke can see that Vanjie is feeling uncomfortable and wishes she could do something about it.

“Hey Plastique, how long have you been coming here?” Brooke enquiries, in an attempt to free Vanjie but it only made the situation worse.

“I haven’t been before, actually, one of my cousins got a part time job across the road and comes in for lunch with the rest of the workers - he says it’s good so I had to try it out.” Plastique explains before glancing between her companions. “What about you two? Who’s idea was it to come here?”

“Mine.” Vanessa replied dryly before putting on a fake smile. “My mum used to work here and the girls and I would stop in for a free meal.”

Brooke tried not to look surprised, as she hadn’t known that about her girlfriend. She had just assumed that it was something to do with her friend group.

“Awk isn’t that lovely Brooke?” Plastique questioned as she bumped her shoulder against Brooke’s, earning a nod in response. “We should bring Nina here sometime, for a girls date.” she muses, before looking over at Vanessa.

“Maybe you and the others would like to join us too?” She questions eagerly, oblivious to the look shared between Vanessa and Brooke.

“Yeah! I’m sure they would love that!” Vanessa exclaims, and Plastique is back to making small talk and asking questions.

It doesn’t take long for Plastique to get her order and she eats while she talks to the pair, discussing school projects and hobbies.

“Hey! You’re coming to my party this weekend, right?” Plastique questions as she stares intensely at Vanessa.

“Um, well… I’ll need to see if the girls are goin’.”

Plastique nods in response, satisfied with the smaller girl’s answer.

The trio sit in a comfortable silence for a few moments, before Plastique bounces back into action with another question directed at Vanessa.

“Oh Vanjie! Did Brooke tell you about what happened to her car?”

Brooke tries not to roll her eyes as Vanessa replies. Although Plastique didn’t know, Vanessa had been with Brooke when she’d gotten the flat tire and had helped her arrange to get it fixed.

As Plastique continues to speak, Vanessa catches Brooke’s eye from across the table and discreetly attempts to signal that she has had enough and wants to leave. As Brooke attempts to check her watch, Plastique catches her.

“Oh gosh, i’m sorry. I must be keeping you both back, especially you Brooke. I know how your parents can get.” As she speaks, Plastique smiles apologetically before rising out of her chair and grabbing her abandoned coat and bag which she had placed down earlier.

“Yes, you’re right. It’s getting pretty late isn’t it?” Brooke replied, as she copied Plastique’s movements and began to get up.

“It was good talkin’ to you.” Vanessa said to Plastique before turning to Brooke. “You ready?”

“You too!” Plastique responded, and just as Brooke was finishing nodding back at Vanessa and started to approach her, Plastique raised a hand and placed it on her shoulder quickly.

“Wait! Would it not be easier for you to come with me? After all, Vanjie lives on the other side of town…” Plastique reasoned, and while Brooke knew her logic was correct - She also knew that Vanessa wasn’t going to be pleased at not only getting interrupted and lying during their date, but also because they would now be unable to say goodbye properly.

“Ahh, yeah- yeah. That’s a great idea… I’ll see you later Ne-Vanjie?” Brooke responded, hoping that Plastique didn’t catch note of the accidental tongue slip, as she attempted to catch her girlfriend’s eyes.

“Yeah… I guess.” Was Vanessa’s cold response, as she quickly turned around and walked out of the diner without a second glance.

“You know, I’ve never actually had a proper conversation with her before. She isn’t anywhere near as loud or obnoxious as she’s made out to be.” Plastique mused as they walked to the car together, after leaving the diner.

“Hmm? Yeah, she’s pretty nice.” Brooke quietly responded, hoping that the conversation would shift to another topic.

Much to Brooke’s chagrin, Vanessa had seemed to be imprinted into Plastique’s brain, as if there wasn’t an uncomfortable silence filling the car, then the constant praising of Vanessa ‘Vanjie’ Mateo was.

It wasn’t that she didn’t like talking about her girlfriend, but she was scared of saying too much and causing Plastique to become suspicious, especially when Plastique was already trying to think of guys to pair her up with at the party.

Brooke could just see the shocked expression on Plastique’s face if she knew that Vanessa wasn’t into guys…

Fortunately for Brooke, she lived relatively close by and it only took several minutes before she was able to escape the metal hell that was Plastique’s car, especially with her driving.

After a quick thank you and a wave goodbye, Brooke sped into her house, fumbling with the key in the lock several times in her haste to escape to her room. With a quick check of the living room, Brooke sighed in relief as her parents were nowhere to be seen.

‘They must have already headed up to bed.’ She thinks to herself, as she makes her way up the stairs and into her room. Plugging her phone in to be charged, Brooke quickly sends Vanessa a text message.

Brooke [23:43]

Hey Nessa, sorry about Plastique… I’ll make it up you tomorrow, yeah? Xo

    - Message Delivered.

She watches, momentarily, as the message is delivered before letting out a sigh. Hopefully Vanessa wouldn’t be too annoyed at her, it wasn’t exactly her fault that Plastique had unexpectedly ruined their date - yet she knew that on some level, it was.

While she waited for Vanessa’s reply, she busied herself around her room, completing her nightly routines and getting changed into her pajamas before settling into bed and picking up the phone to check, once more, for a notification.

When Brooke was only met with her lock screen reading ‘00:12’, she quickly unlocked her phone and opened up the chat logs.

Brooke [23:43]

Hey Nessa, sorry about Plastique… I’ll make it up you tomorrow, yeah? Xo

    - Read [23:45]

Frowning, she types out a good night message, before reconsidering and backspacing repeatedly to delete the message. Maybe it would be best if she left it until the morning to text Vanessa again.

[artificialqueens]

as the stars align (branjie) - rujubees

A/N: Brooke Lynn Hytes is one of Hollywood’s top A-Listers with a reputation for being a diva. Newcomer Vanessa Mateo is fresh off her debut role and already making a splash in the industry. When they get cast as lovers for an oscar-worthy script, their on-screen chemistry is a director’s dream come true. There’s only one problem: they completely, unequivocally and unapologetically cannot stand one another.

More on ao3

Brooke Lynn had barely taken the first sip of her morning coffee when Nina thrusted a pile of paper into her arms.

“As The Stars Align? What the hell is this, Nina?”

“Brooke, you’re such a bad lesbian,” Nina scolded with an eye roll and a chuckle. “It’s Katya Zamolodchikova’s newest script based on her novel about two female astronauts who fall in love. And it’s good.”

Brooke held the script contemplatively, her eyes fluttering over the story outline, fingers flicking through the pages. Despite her brief early morning amnesia, she did know who Katya Zamolodchikova was — everybody did. She was a rare example of an author who had been able to permeate the heteronormative industry with LGBT driven stories, and have her publications be received with both critical and commercial success. Brooke wasn’t usually one for romance novels, but even she had read some of Katya’s works, and she had to admit that they were of surprisingly high quality.

And the lead character description of a woman who was ‘reserved and mysterious’ among other things was undoubtedly perfect for her. From the way Nina was excitedly rambling about that very fact, she was one step away from telling her that the character had been written with Brooke in mind.

“You have to audition, B. They just announced that Michelle Visage is directing and the online buzz is unlike anything I’ve seen for a movie of this scale before. This thing is Oscar-worthy, Brooke, I’m telling you.”

Brooke scoffed, drawing back from her coffee for the first time since Nina had arrived.

“An interracial love story between two women set in space? Yeah, that’s bound to be a hit with all the old, straight, white men in the Academy.” She pushed the script down the long, marble bar the pair sat at in Brooke’s kitchen and got up to refill her coffee. Truthfully, she didn’t care about awards or what a bunch of crusty dudes thought of her in any capacity. But it had been so long since she’d had a project which she was genuinely passionate about — one had not came along since the groundbreaking movies that had made her the star she was. These days, she was established, sure, but the last few years had led her down a hole of constantly being reduced to the trophy wife in male-dominated dramas or the blonde bimbo in vapid heterosexual rom-coms. It would hurt for her to get her hopes up high at the idea of finally landing a role of substance, only to have her dreams dashed at the last minute, once again being overlooked in favour of someone younger or prettier or more talented.

“Who cares about the Academy?” Nina exclaimed, watching exasperatedly as Brooke Lynn flopped back into to the seat opposite her. “This thing is gonna be huge no matter what. If it’s not an awards season candidate, at least it’ll be a box office smash. If it’s not a box office smash, it’ll still be important representation to all the little gay girls and boys who need representation like a lead lesbian character being played by an actual LGBT person. Don’t you wanna be a part of that?”

Brooke smiled softly at Nina, meeting the other woman’s eyes and realising how passionate she was about this. How much she cared. She was straight, but she just got it. It wasn’t that often that Brooke came across a real, ride-or-die ally in show-business, and it was the reason Brooke Lynn had hired her as her manager almost on-sight. It was also part of why Nina was her best friend.

“You got me there, bitch,” Brooke replied with a smirk, chuckling as Nina’s eyes immediately began lighting up and her face broke out into a wide grin. Brooke’s own smile began to falter the more she considered Nina’s point.

“I’m not even, like, out-out though,” she said, her eyes dropping to her hands, which Nina quickly covered with her own. “They deserve better than me.”

“Only because you won’t dignify invasive speculation about your sexuality with an answer, rightfully so by the way, and you’ve never been in a public relationship. You’ll get there.”

“Public? Girl, I’ve never been in a relationship, Period. We’re a long way off from public,” Brooke responded with a sigh. She pulled the script back and began flipping through it again, regretting allowing the conversation to turn this personal.

A few seconds passed without Nina saying anything.

“I know you’re doing that thing with your face again,” Brooke said, before peeking over the top of her script and letting herself take in the inevitable look of concern the other woman was communicating.

“Nina, I’m fine, I promise. That’s not me anyway.”

Nina didn’t look convinced, but didn’t press the issue any further, much to Brooke’s relief.

“Look. I’ll do the audition,” Brooke conceded, and Nina burst out into applause, the prior topic apparently already forgotten.

—

Brooke stood before Katya Zamolodchikova, Michelle Visage, and Asia O’Hara, who she’d previously learned would be serving as an executive producer and casting director on the movie. The audition had gone well.

Or at least that’s what she assumed from the huge, incredibly white, toothy grin Katya was giving her right now, and she knew her characters better than anyone after all. Asia was also displaying an impressed smile, and Michelle’s suspicious, reluctant expression from earlier was long gone.

“Well?” Brooke Lynn prompted as she crossed her arms, trying not to let on how badly she wanted this role. Normal protocol would mean that she wouldn’t find anything out about her chances until days, weeks, maybe even months later, but nothing about this trio struck her as conventional in their ways.

“I fucking love you,” Katya announced, and Brooke was pretty sure that if she had still been drinking her coffee she would’ve choked on it.

“Obviously,” Brooke commented.

“I’m serious, bitch. I want you to do the chemistry read later this week.”

“Who’s the other girl?” Brooke asked, unable to stop curiosity filling her voice.

“Right now, we’re interested in Vanessa Mateo,” Asia said. Brooke had heard the name a lot in certain circles over the last year or so, but she didn’t think she’d seen her in anything or that she would be able to picture what she looked like. She didn’t keep up enough with latest in Hollywood as much as she used to, didn’t have many close friends in the industry, and it was easy for hot topics to escape her attention.

Later that day, once Brooke got home, she tried to find out as much as she could about Vanessa Mateo. She learnt that she was five years younger than her at twenty four, and was Puerto Rican but grew up in Florida. So far, she had only been in one feature length movie — the biggest indie hit of last year which had even captured Brooke Lynn’s attention with its trailer before she had forgotten all about it.

She also discovered that Vanessa was possibly the most beautiful person she had ever seen, and this was coming from a woman who had worked in LA for over fifteen years. She tried not to dwell on that part as she scrolled through her potential co-star’s wikipedia page, her eyes dropping to the ‘personal life’ section, which said that Vanessa had a boyfriend. In fact, she was still dating her college sweetheart, information which Brooke tried to suppress an eye roll at.

Brooke jumped as she was interrupted by the jarring sound of her phone ringtone; Nina had managed to book her in for a chemistry read with Vanessa for the following Tuesday. Regretfully, Brooke closed her browser tabs and pulled her script from her bag, alongside the shiny new copy of Stars Align novel that she had been presented with at the audition. For once, the feeling of dread that usually preceded Brooke’s work reading was replaced by a tentative sense of optimism.

—

Vanessa had passed the first rounds of auditions. She couldn’t believe it. She hadn’t managed to land anything beyond a few minor TV roles here and there since she got her big break last year, and she was beginning to think that maybe she just wasn’t made for the big screen, no matter how many times her friends had reassured her that she was just being dramatic. She still had the chemistry read to go, but the hard part was over.

“Congratu-fucking-lations, Vanjie,” Silky said as soon as she broke the news, her and A’keria immediately engulfing her in a group hug.

“Don’t jump the gun, bitch, they haven’t cast me yet,” Vanessa replied, struggling to hold back her smile anyway.

“Yet being the operative word,” A’keria pointed out. The trio finally shuffled into Vanessa’s studio apartment, Vanessa having been unable to stop herself from spilling to them before they got inside.

“Have you told Matt yet?” Silky asked, her eyebrows raised questionably. Vanessa sighed, her boyfriend having barely crossed her mind the entire day. She knew that it was natural; they were long past the honeymoon phase in their relationship, and she would just have to accept that they weren’t getting the romance they once shared back. Well, it had never quite been passion and fireworks and roses, but it had been sweet. Fun. Matt was always one of her favourite people to spend time with. She couldn’t say the same thing now, even though she still cared for him. But he had gone above and beyond to support her through her rise to fame, and Vanessa knew that she’d never find anyone as genuine as him again. She’d already dealt with the pain of having people befriend her, only to go on to realise that they were simply in it for her new status and money. What she had with Matt was good, she told herself. She loved him.

“I ain’t telling Matt shit until it’s official. And don’t you do it either,” Vanessa warned Silky with a stern look.

Silky pouted, pulling Vanessa onto the couch as A’keria popped open the first bottle she could find and poured them each a glass.

“We’re so proud of you, sis,” A’keria smiled, raising her champagne.

“To Vanessa Vanjie motherfuckin’ Mateo,” Silky exclaimed, clinking their glasses together.

“Y’all are the worst, I swear. They might pick some other hoe still if this Brooke Lynn chick don’t vibe with me.”

“You’re gonna be in a movie with Brooke Lynn Hytes?! Why didn’t you open with that?!” Silky exclaimed.

“Because! What if she doesn’t want it to be me? I heard she only had to audition one time. Clearly, if it comes down to it, it’s her they’re going with, not me.”

“She’ll love you, Vanj, everybody does,” Silky said.

Vanessa sighed. She knew she was getting ahead of herself with this gig, and that she shouldn’t have shared with Silky and A’keria before she knew anything for certain. It was gonna make it even harder to get over the inevitable disappointment, but she couldn’t help herself.

“Silky’s right. Girl, I’m telling you, that’s not what you gotta worry about. If it’s you and Miss Brooke Lynn… good luck, is all I’m saying,” A’keria tutted cryptically.

“She won’t need luck, have you seen Brooke? The bitch is hot,” Silky added unhelpfully.

“Kiki, don’t be vague. The fuck you talking about?” Vanessa asked, determined to grill A’keria for all she knew about her potential future co-star.

“Well, you know what people say. She’s just a bit of a diva, ice-queen type. You know what, ignore me, it’s probably just some kind of sexist fuckery anyway.”

Vanessa didn’t know what to think. She had seen Brooke in a few things — mostly stuff from years ago that made her a household name — but she knew little about the woman who had brought all of those characters to life. All that she knew was that Brooke Lynn was stunning, that the acclaim her acting received was more than justified, and that she was notorious for being a closed book. It may have not been much, but it was certainly enough to make Vanessa intrigued.

—

Vanessa was more nervous than she’d ever been as she knocked on the studio door at twelve o’clock on the dot, and was greeted with nothing but inaudible murmurs. At a loss for what to do next, she began contemplating her next move, but was quickly pulled from her thoughts as a tall blonde in her peripheral vision caught her attention. She turned towards the woman, who was wearing dark jeans, a grey turtleneck sweater, and had sunglasses sat a top her head. Her bleached blonde hair was styled in a wavy bob, and she was holding a Starbucks cup, her eyes giving nothing away as they met Vanessa’s. Although she was dressed casually, she still managed to have an aura of glamour about her.

“You must be Brooke Lynn?” Vanessa asked, forgoing usual greetings.

“Hi,” Brooke Lynn said nonchalantly as the two women approached each other.

“I’m Vanessa.”

“I know. Just Brooke is fine, by the way.”

“Cool. Nice to meet you, Just Brooke,” Vanessa retorted with a smirk. For a second, she thought she saw a crack in Brooke’s neutral exterior, but it must’ve just been a trick of the light as a millisecond later Brooke was looking straight up unimpressed with Vanessa’s admittedly slightly lame attempt at an ice-breaker. She frowned because damn, it wasn’t that deep. Anyone would’ve thought Vanessa had just kicked her kitty (and Brooke did have a cat — two, in fact. Vanessa had found that out on a desperate google binge the previous night.)

Vanessa glared as Brooke took her phone out of her bag and began frantically typing — probably about how much she already knew she didn’t want to work with the girl she was currently stood with. Vanessa cursed her for making it so awkward between them for no reason.

Luckily, her mind couldn’t spiral for long as the door flung open and Katya greeted the pair, looking far more pleased to see Vanessa than Brooke Lynn had been.

“Ladies! Sorry for the wait. Come on in,” Katya said. Michelle, Asia and a few other crew members that Vanessa didn’t know were also seated in the studio, waiting to witness Brooke Lynn and Vanessa’s energy in action and see if they had struck gold.

The chemistry read went far more smoothly than Vanessa had anticipated it would be after her initial interaction with Brooke. Once Michelle had prompted them to begin, it was as if she had become another person entirely. She went from a completely detached, almost shell of a human, to being suddenly absorbed in her character, and her character’s relationship to the role Vanessa was playing. Brooke was convincing, she could give her that. The scene they were delivering wasn’t a major part of the movie, but the nuances of Brooke’s performances made it almost feel like she really had feelings for Vanessa.

However, it was over almost as quickly as it began, and Brooke reverted back to her real self before Vanessa was even able to process the fact that they were finished.

They were met with glowing praise from their panel of judges, and Vanessa felt a strong sense of pride in what she had accomplished. She tried shooting smiles at Brooke in-between compliments, attempting to lighten the atmosphere between them, but Brooke wouldn’t meet her gaze.

After a few more minutes of talk, they were released with the guarantee that they would find out if they were cast within a few days, maximum. Vanessa had been hoping to catch Brooke outside, maybe ask her to lunch so they could get to know each other, but Brooke stayed behind to talk to Katya, the two quickly becoming engrossed in hushed conversation. Vanessa tried to stop paranoia from getting the best of her, but her suspicions that Brooke had connections on this set were confirming themselves, and most likely Brooke would be the priority if she refused to work with Vanessa.

Though surely, if Brooke didn’t want Vanessa cast, she would’ve just thrown their chemistry read altogether?

Vanessa didn’t know the answer to that. Brooke wasn’t easy to work out.

Defeated, she gave the casting panel one last wave and left the studio — it was clear that Brooke would be hanging back for a while. Vanessa knew the rest was out of her hands and decided to hit up Silky and A’keria for drinks; all she could do now was wait.

—

The call came sooner than expected — later that evening, with Vanessa and her friends in a crowded bar, having spent the rest of the day getting drunk. The conversation with Asia was short and to the point, with Vanessa doing her very best to compose herself and hide her tipsy state. The news that she would, in fact, be working alongside Brooke Lynn almost went right over her head, overshadowed by the sheer realisation that she had done it. She had finally landed the second major role of her career. This was her chance to show the world that she wasn’t a one hit wonder, or a fluke.

“I got the part!” Vanessa all but yelled as she returned to their table, ecstatic, A’keria and Silky smothering her with hugs and kisses and screaming words of excitement and congratulations.

“Yes bitch!” Silky declared, and Vanessa wasn’t sure if it was pride or the alcohol, but she was pretty sure that her friend was tearing up.

“Brooke too?” A’keria asked, standing up to buy them another round.

“Yes, obviously. But who cares about her! Lets celebrate,” Vanessa announced. She’d be lying if she denied that at the very back of her mind, she had no lingering concerns about working with Brooke Lynn. But clearly, the bitch could be professional when she needed to be, and she saw no reason why she’d want to make this hard for the both of them now they were stuck with each other for the foreseeable future. And regardless, nothing could wipe the smile off of Vanessa’s face in that moment. She’d be damned if she was gonna let anyone ruin her night for her.

[artificialqueens]

Double rainbows are an opportunity to obtain two pots of gold (Branjie)- dexx-ss

a/n: Hi, hello, how are ya? So I was getting a new tattoo today and I wrote this fluffy nonsense and I hope y'all like it <3 ALSO, the title has literally nothing to do with the fic… I just couldn’t think of anything else XD Let me know what y'all think but be kind-xx

“So this is not dumb?” Brooke asks trying to figure out what Nina is thinking by looking at her face.

“Brock this is the cheesiest, cutest, most romantic thing you probably have done in your dumb miserable life,” Nina smiled placing a reassuring hand on his friend’s shoulder “it’s very José.”.

Brooke couldn’t help but smile at that.

–

It’s been few years since season 11 aired and Brooke and Vanessa have been together and broken up too many times to count on one’s hands. But in the end, they realized they can’t be without each other. And although secretly hooking up and messing with everyone’s heads is fun and all- it still took a lot out of them. So they decided to be together officially and made some ground rules.

–

For Brock, it meant that he had to give up some of his freedom and some of that flirting with strangers(some not all).

For José, it meant he had to give up getting easily jealous sometimes (not all the time) and frat house parties(all of them).

And so far these rules have been working out quite well.

–

Brooke has never been a fan of marriage. Not really. He has always believed that marriage is like the last lifeline. Meaning the only reason people get married is the fact that things are going so badly that you have nothing else left to do to save their relationship. He knew that in some cases it wasn’t true but he also knew that in most cases it was.

They have even talked about that with José. Well talking is not the right word. It was more of yelling and then some very passionate makeup sex later. Brock didn’t care for marriage but José wanted a big white wedding.

–

“So he has no idea it’s coming?” Nina asked while Brooke went to fill their wine glasses. “Well hopefully not,” B said now a kinda concerned look on his face. Brooke had told a few people about it already. Not how he’s going to do it but more of just that he is going to do it. He even went a few decades back and called Josés mom to ask permission.

“Our little firecracker has melted all the ice apparently,” Nina said with a laugh. Brooke just rolled his eyes.

–

Brock even talked to Silky and A’keria about it. Well not willingly. Silky and Brooke were both getting ready for a show and A’keria was randomly chilling with them. At some point, Silky asked if Brooke had some painkillers and B did so he told Silky to look for them from his bag. What he forgot was that Silky is quite nosey and that he bought the ring that day.

“Brooke, is you and Vanjie okay,” Silky asked. “Mhm, why?” Brooke looked at A’keria who was as puzzled as himself. Then Silky took out the ring that was in his bag “wasn’t that supposed to be the last lifeline?”, “Okay, first of all, you shouldn’t go through other peoples stuff,” Brooke said grabbing his bag and the ring back “secondly it’s not like that.”. A’keria raised a questioning brow “You are seriously not thinking about going through with that?”. Brooke didn’t answer to that. He just continued doing his makeup because it didn’t matter what he said A’keria had an opinion about that. (It was always a valid point A’keria gave but sometimes Brooke didn’t wanna hear it because he knew how right he was.). “You are so dumb,” A’keria laughed “like really dumb. That’s probably why Vanjie loves you so much.”.

–

“So it’s happening tonight?” Andrew giggled with excitement. “Well if ya don’t move that cute butt of yours faster and leave then it won’t!” Brook said waving Nina from the front door. As Ninas uber drove off Brooke quickly got back inside and started setting everything up. It had to look really casual.

–

At some point the door swung open “Honey, I’m home!” Vanjie yelled as he stepped inside. He looked around and heard some humming from the kitchen. José made his way there and the sight of Brooke trying to cook warmed his heart. They don’t usually cook, they order something from uber eats or just go out. “So if I eat this” Vanjie said with a smug making his way to his boyfriend “will I have terrible diarrhea?”. Brock jumped a little when José started speaking because he was so in his element and didn’t even realize his boyfriend had gotten home.  He took a towel and playfully slapped Vanjies ass with it “Fuck you,” he said meeting his boyfriend for a kiss.

Vanessa went to take a shower because he still had a full face of makeup on and Brock was really tempted to go with him. But he didn’t. Instead, he set up their plates and waited on a couch trying to pick a movie for them to watch while eating.

The movie watching and eating went great. First, they ate and Vanessa made few comments about how he is going to end up in a hospital with food poisoning. Then they put their plates down and José put his head on Brocks’ lap as they continued to watch the movie. But B couldn’t focus and he was shaking his leg so much when Vanessa tried to talk it sounded like he was driving on a very bumpy road. “Hoe, could- you- stop- that?”, “Sorry,” Brooke said stopping his leg but his boyfriend was already pausing the movie. “What’s up with you?” Vanessa said. Brooke tried to look anywhere but into Josés eyes. He wasn’t particularly chickening out but he was thinking maybe its too soon. But when V cupped his face and made their eyes meet all the doubts were gone. There was no question about it. He loved him. So. Much. So, he kissed him. And promised to be back in a second.

Brooke ran to the bedroom and came back with a book. José just gave him a puzzled look. Brock gave that book to José. “A notebook? Thanks?” Vanessa finally says but Brooke just rolls his eyes. “Open it you dummy,” so he does. He opens the damn notebook.

And

it’s

filled

with

Post-its.

Immediately José’s eyes go blurry from the tears that are coming up. They aren’t just post it. Every post-it has a little scribble. Of a good memory. Or a quote.  One even has the eyes and the detective emoji. It’s so dumb. But so sweet.

“Bitch,” V finally says something after five minutes of looking at the notebook “I can’t use it when it’s all full.”. Brock just laughs at that “Look at the back,”. José does as told. Behind the notebook was written: I’ve never been good at vocally expressing my feelings. So I’m gonna write them down instead.

I woke up today and decided:

I will never love anyone as much as I love you.

I love every part of you. Your smile. Your eyes. The way you get all excited when the cats come onto your lap instead of mine. (José laughs at that part, tears falling) I love how you get angry with me and how you try to make up before going to bed- Because you should never go to bed angry… I love all that’s beautiful about you and all your flaws.

And after thinking all that I realized that I wanna spend the rest of my life with you.

When José looked back at Brock he was holding out a ring. “So umm,” before he could ask anything V was kissing him. “Is that a yes?” Brock said with a smile on his face.

“You didn’t even ask,”

“José Cancel, will you do me the honor of becoming my husband?” Brock said with a really bad Brittish accent.

“Yes,” Jose answered pulling the ring from Brock and putting it on his finger.

[artificialqueens]

First Move (Branjie) - SnowBun

A/N: “I thought you said you weren’t going to write for a while.” I. KNOW. But after the past few days (esp. the Roscoe’s fiasco,) I couldn’t help myself from writing a nice little oneshot. I’ll be updating Tongue Tied soon (not sure how soon, though.) But I hope you guys enjoy this in the meantime. xoxo

At first, she thinks it’s nothing.

She thought of nothing of the private glances shared across the workroom. She thought nothing of the flirtatious comments thrown her way. She thought nothing of the blush that graced her cheeks whenever she would look her way.

Until one day, it doesn’t mean nothing.

She’s out in the lot during Untucked, smoking one, two, three cigarettes. She knows that by the time she gets back to the runway to hear her critiques, her lungs will practically be worthless.

“You okay?”

Now, that’s what a chainsmoker sounds like, she thinks to herself as she turns around. Vanjie’s standing there, in full drag, except for her hair. It looks almost comical to see her fade atop the glittering red glory.

“Yeah.”

She throws the cigarette on the ground, and stamps it out with her heel. The heat outside causes the material of her dress to start sticking to her skin. She can’t be sure if it’s that or Vanjie’s doubtful glare that makes her uncomfortable.

“Hoe, I know you lying.”

For a moment, she wonders if she’ll cry. Her anxiety weighs heavy in her chest, and it pushes down into her stomach until she feels sick. She looks down, refusing to meet Vanjie’s eyes, and shrugs.

“I’ll be fine.”

Vanjie steps closer, and she doesn’t shy away when a hand starts to run down her shoulder comfortingly.

“I’m here.”

“I know.”

When she reaches out to hug her, she’s thankful that the headpiece is gone. She lets the smell of menthol shampoo curb the fear. Much better than menthol cigarettes, she thinks. She swears that Vanjie almost says something, but doesn’t probe when she steps away.

“Thanks, Vanjie.”

“Jose.” She corrects him.

“Jose.” She repeats with a nod.

She’s about to leave her to her thoughts when she stops in the doorway, a close-lipped smile stamped on her face.

“You know you can’t act for shit, right Brooke?”

“Was the challenge really that bad?”

There’s a loud, raspy laugh. “Nah baby, it ain’t that challenge I’m talking about.”

The Los Angeles sunset is streaming through the window, bathing her in its orange glow as she lies spread eagle on the bed. There are so many words that rush through her head at a hundred miles per hour.

You’re safe.

Kahanna Montrese, sashay away.

It ain’t that challenge I’m talking about.

She thinks she might need to ask a PA to buy her an Advil.

There’s a knock on the door that only makes the pounding in her head worse. She groans when she gets up, and tells herself to shoo away whoever is on the other side lest she end up yelling at someone.

“Hey Brooke Lynn!” She’s barely swung the door open when Silky’s voice booms straight into her skull like a jackhammer.

“What do you want, Silky?”

She hopes that her tone doesn’t come off too harsh. She’s too Canadian for it. Silky doesn’t seem to notice, however, because she’s smirking at her like she knows a secret that’s she’s just dying to spill.

“My sister said, ‘can you make her pussy fart?’”

The words are basically a taser, leaving her stunned. She doesn’t have to ask who she’s talking about. She doesn’t even have to think about it. All of a sudden, she isn’t thinking about the pain threatening to break her head open like an egg.

All of a sudden, she can’t think at all.

“Silky!” She hears Vanjie at the end of the hallway, and watches as she rushes to push her away. She shoots Brooke an embarrassed look, and it looks like she’s ready to die on the spot when Silky laughs heartily.

They shuffle away, Silky’s laughter still ringing in her ears and the mortified expression on Vanjie’s face, still imprinted on the front of her brain.

Before Nina can get into a van, she quite literally pulls her aside. She looks around panickily to see if Vanjie’s come down yet, and when she sees that the coast is clear, she turns back to Nina, her eyebrows raised in question.

“I think I have a crush on Jose.”

The questioning look turns puzzled.

“Who’s Jose?”

“Vanjie!” She answers exasperatedly. For a moment, she wonders if she’s going crazy. She wonders if the bottled water that they kept giving her had hallucinogens making her think that the most gorgeous, sexy, down-right criminally attractive—

She takes a deep breath, letting the air wash away the words that made her head spin.

“I think he likes me too.”

Nina bursts out laughing, and she almost wants to yell at her for being so uncharacteristically cruel in her time of need. She groans in frustration before shouting, “Fuck it, Nina! I’m being serious!”

“I know!” Nina replies in between laughs, wiping away tears from the corners of her eyes. “It’s just so fucking high school that I can’t help it.”

She knows what Nina means. A crush? It makes her sound like a 16-year-old who writes her and her crush’s name, all surrounded in little hearts, in her notebook during class. She laments the death of her dignity.

“Look,” Nina starts. “If you really like him, just tell him already. No shame in liking someone.”

“But it’s a competition!”

“So?” Her mouth opens and closes like a fish. “You like him, he likes you. It isn’t rocket science. Just go for it.”

When she turns around to watch Nina walk away, she sees Vanjie climb into the van, doing everything to avoid her eyes.

When she opens her door, she isn’t expecting to see Vanjie, blonde wig perched loosely on her head.

“Hey.” She greets breathily.

“Hey.”

“I was, uhmm,” She waves around the script in her hand. “Hoping I could run some lines with you. Y’know, see what someone else thinks.”

She lets her in without another word, and closes the door. Vanjie shifts her feet awkwardly behind her, looking unsure if she should sit on the bed or the floor or if she should sit at all. She thinks it looks kind of cute.

“Here,” She says, sitting on her bed and picking up her own script. “Let’s do it?”

Vanjie sits close enough to her that her shoulder bumps her arm, and God, does she want to reach over and kiss her. She watches her roll her bottom lip between her teeth as she flips to the conversion part of the script.

“So, I was kind of thinking,” Vanjie turns to look at her. “I would maybe flip my hair like this.”

When she tries to demonstrate, her wig goes flying across the room, and Brooke starts to laugh so hard that she ends up curled on the bed.

“You think that’s real funny, don’t you, bitch?”

She’s too busy laughing to answer, and Vanjie leans over. She’s basically screaming with laughter when her fingers fly to her stomach to tickle her.

“This is what you get,” She hears Vanjie’s voice over her own laughter. “For laughing at me, bitch!”

When she gets tired, the laughter begins to die down and she sprawls herself out on the bed. Vanjie lays on her stomach, her elbows lifting up her upper half and her face hovering right above her own.

She wonders if she can hear her heart pounding in the quiet of the hotel room.

“I like your eyebrows, Miss Brooke.”

She isn’t quite sure what she’s expecting to hear, but it definitely isn’t that. She chuckles, reaching up to fix a strand of dark hair that’s fallen in front of her face, obscuring her view to dark eyes.

“You can call me Brock.”

She watches a smile bloom on her face, more beautiful than elegant gowns draped across perfect figures or the sun reflecting on the sea as it gleamed across the horizon. She swears that her face gets closer.

They stay like that for a moment, all calm and quiet, scripts and wig forgotten. She reaches up a hand to her back, drawing patterns with her fingers. She swears that she can Vanjie purr.

“I got a question, Brock.”

“What?” She cocks her head.

“You gonna kiss me, or what?”

She laughs once more before lifting her head up in reply. Catching her lips in a kiss, she suddenly realizes what torture is. To feeling something so good, so perfect, so fucking wonderful that her toes curl, only for it to pull away in seconds.

Vanjie gets up, picks up her wig, and hands her a copy of the script. She sits up, completely dumbfounded.

“Come on,” She says, sitting back down beside her. “Let’s practice.”

“Why?” The whine sounds so unlike her, but she loves the way it makes Vanjie laugh.

“If you do well tomorrow, you’ll get a reward.” She winks.

She sighs loudly, and flips her script.

“Alright Miss Vanjie,” She replies. “But the reward better be those cookies.”

Vanjie howls.

Twenty-four hours and a maxi challenge later, she lay in bed with Vanjie’s head in the crook of her neck. She felt her nip at her neck, and she tightened the arm wrapped around her waist.

She sighted contentedly as she ran her free hand through her blonde curls.

Never in the world had she felt so relaxed. Years of ballet had hammered the tension into her muscles. Not in a million years had she ever considered that a dark-haired queen with the voice of a bullhorn would put her at ease.

Especially not in the middle of a cutthroat competition.

“I’ll take it I did well, then?”

“Oh, trust me, baby,” Vanjie says, drawing lazy patterns on the patch of blanket over Brooke’s thigh. “You did real good.”

[artificialqueens]

Character Development 3 (Branjie)- dexx-ss

a/n: Hi, hello, how are ya?

Well, this is something…. I am not that good of a writer so be kind and stuff :P I mean I hope y’all like it and if you don’t then… i’m sorry… I guess XD Enjoy xx

VANESSA

‘Hey! Last night was fun. Should do it again sometimes <3 - Brooke’

When Vanessa received a text from Brooke she couldn’t help but laugh. Not because she was so happy to get it. Well, of course, she was happy about it. But for what she has heard Brooke never text people after her one night stands. So V just imagined how Brooke found Vanessas number and just stared at for the whole day writing that message letter an hour. Vanjie didn’t hesitate to text back.

Vanessa always preferred calling over texting. There was something so much more intimate about calling your friends than it was texting. Sometimes she would just call her friends to tell them good morning. Getting calls made her also happy because for Vanessa it showed that people cared. It made her feel special because people took their time to call her and took their time to talk to her(and she could talk to anyone for HOURS). Even when it came to texting most of the time V sent voice messages because writing people was too much effort.

Silky was very aware that Vanessa wasn’t a fan of texting and at first, when the next morning V didn’t take her eyes off her phone Silk didn’t do anything about it (and the same in the evening). But after a few days hearing those text message dings constantly, Silky lost her cool “The fuck is going on with ‘ya?”. Vanessa raised her face from her phone smiling, not smiling glowing “What do you mean?”, “You never text people, who the fuck are you texting?” Silk said walking towards Vanessa trying to take her phone from her to see who she was chatting away with. “Girl, I’m talking to my mom,” V answered pulling her phone closer to her. “You dirty liar,” Silky shook her head “is it a tinder date or something? Oh, is it Miss Brooke?”, “No. And no.” Vanessa said realizing full well she just lied to her best friend.  

When she received the first message from Brooke obviously her first thought was that she has to share this with her Dreamgirls. But then she also realized that every time something relationship vise happened with Vanessa she immediately tells them and the next moment she is crying on their shoulder. So Vanjie had decided to give a little time before telling anyone about Brooke. It wasn’t her fault that Silky was so nosy but also she hoped that Silk(and A'keria) would understand her decision later.

“Okay, whatever,” Silky gave up “I’m going to my grandmas tomorrow, just letting you know.” Vanessa nodded. “But you coming back or,” she said a few seconds later “are you staying the night?”, “Staying the night probably” Silk answered. Vanessa now had the opportunity to ask Brooke to her place. Should she ask her on a date? Should she just send the ‘my parents aren’t home text’? She can’t overthink this, she shouldn’t overthink this.

BROOKE

Brooke loves texting. Although when it came to electronics she was like a grandma. When she figured out how to use emojis Nina almost blocked Brookes number cause she just couldn’t stop using them. Most of her messages were only just emojis. Nina finally told her to stop using them so much when Brooke started using the french horn emoji awful lot whenever Nina asked how she was feeling/doing. Calling people wasn’t Brookes thing. It made her feel uncomfortable and it was just awkward in general. If she can do it over text she preferably will. Hell, it once took her like half a year to get herself a doctors appointment only because she just couldn’t call the doctors office. But now every night when she got home from work or woke up, the time of the day really didn’t matter, all she wanted to do was call Vanessa just to hear her voice.  

When texting Vanjie became a part of her routine she didn’t wait a minute to tell Nina. “Oh wow that is something new for you Brooke,” Nina smiled. “I know, I mean, maybe like having something more than just sex ain’t that bad.” Brooke smiled back. Nina cave a confused look and opened her eyes wide “Who are you and what have you done to my friend?”, “Oh fuck off,” Brooke giggled at Nina’s response. Then suddenly Brookes face turned white. “What happened?” Nina asked noticing Brookes sudden mood change. Brooke slams her phone on the table startling Nina. She then looks at her phone again quickly and then shows it to Nina. “Uuuu… looks like somebody might be having a date.” Nina said teasingly “Well not date like just chilling… omg, a date… it’s like a second date then if we count the first time as a date… fuck… maybe I should say I’m sick or something… ”, “Brooke, love, you are spiraling.” , “She just asked if I wanna Netflix and chill”, “well… say yes obviously you are crazy about her”, “okay, sis, Crazy is a stro…”, “yeah strong word I get it but like I am not lying! and I can read you like a book so I can tell you want something more than sex from her” Nina said not letting Brooke interrupt her placing her hand in front of Brookes mouth whenever she started to say anything. Brooke had nothing to say to that so she just nodded and answered Vanessa.

VANESSA

Tonight was the night she was going to see Brooke again. Obviously, Vanessa was nervous, shaking in her boots. But she was also excited. V was wearing a gorgeous red fringe dress that fitted her like a charm. Making her look like a million bucks. Her hair was straightened but kinda all over the place at the same time. She was losing her shit and texting Silky at the same time, only because Silk now had the opinion that Vanessa liked texting. V told silky that she was gonna go to a tinder date so at some point she wouldn’t be texting as much (that was a lie obviously cause she was going to be with Brooke this whole time).

It was around 8 PM and Vanjie was already doubting her decision of calling Brooke over. Brooke promised to be there around 7:30 and she still wasn’t there. Maybe she stood her up. V got really nervous and just as she was about to open the bottle of wine and drink in on her own she was startled by the doorbell.

“Hi” she softly smiled looking at Brooke after opening the door. The blonde was wearing a beautiful green dress that was hugging her curves and if Vanessa wouldn’t have any self-control she probably would’ve ripped that dress off brooks body right then and there. But no. Instead, she invited Brooke in and asked if she would like a glass of wine. Brooke nodded yes. Vanessa could tell that Brooke was nervous. Like she had never done that before. But obviously, that can’t be true. She probably has had many second dates right? I mean LOOK AT HER. Vanessa gave Brooke her glass and showed Brooke her little apartment. It was bigger than Brookes but the only reason for that was that V was living with a roommate and Brooke all alone.

They sat down in the living room and talked. Few hours went by without them even realizing they have been chatting for this long. They both were slightly wine drunk when V realized that they were all out of wine. She stood up to go and grab something else from the fridge. But as she walked a few steps her leg gave out and she slipped falling down. It wasn’t because she was drunk. Her leg literally gave out for no reason. She didn’t move because the fall took her by surprise. When she was finally ready to get up and brush off the embarrassment Brooke had run there and was stretching her arm out to give V a hand for getting up. “You okay?” Brooke asked pulling Vanessa up. Vanjie nodded and got up. She was now standing so close to Brooke that she felt her breathing. She looked at Broke and without thinking connected their lips.

BROOKE

Vanessa fell. Brooke was startled by that but immediately shot up to help the other girl stretching out her arm to help the Vanjie get back up. She pulled Vanessa up making her stand so close to her that she could feel V breathing. She didn’t know why but having V close to her felt just right. When Vanjie closed the gap between them by kissing Brooke. Brooke didn’t hesitate a moment to kiss V back. She kissed her passionately and Picked Vanessa up to level their faces. Brooke has wanted to kiss V again since the last time she saw her. So now she wasn’t holding anything back. She moved her kisses from her mouth down Vanessa’s neck. “Bedroom” Vanessa splurted out with a moan. Brooke didn’t remember where her Bedroom was because when Vanjie was giving her a house tour she was paying more attention to what V was wearing than what V was showing to her. So still having V’s legs wrapped around her hips she walked into the bedroom she saw. She gently but V down and closed the bedroom door. When she turned around Vanessa’s dress was already on the floor. She also followed the other girl taking off her dress. Their lips met again. And between those sloppy wine drunk kisses, they completely undressed each other. Brooke pushed Vanessa on the bed and took a second to look at her beautiful body. Then fell on top of V drowning V with kisses. She started trailing down Vanessa’s body with her kisses. When she got down to her thighs she ran her tongue over them. Hearing a small moan escape Vanessas mouth. She went back up to kiss Vanessa and let her fingers do their job. Few orgasms later they both were laying on the bed they’re limbs wrapped around each other. Vaess still spoiling Brooke with some kisses. Witch B didn’t obviously mind “You know we have to move right?” Vanessa whispered between the kisses. Brooke pulled away being in a little shock. “Move? Where? Why? What?” she spurted out the questions pulling herself away from Vanessa. But V just laughed “You dummy. This isn’t my bedroom, it’s my roommates” V laughed. “Ohhhh…” Brooke giggled. They walked out of the room picking up their clothes along the way but keeping their fingers tied.

Brooke woke up an hour or so before V. Her usual reaction would have been just to leave but right now she just laid there looking at the beautiful girl next to her. When she realized V started to wake up she closed her eyes to act as if she was still sleeping. V gave her a forehead kiss and left the room but came back second later to shower Brooke with kisses. Finally, B opened her eyes “Good morning,” Vanessa smiled at Brooke. ”Morning,” Brooke smiled back.

VANESSA

V woke up and saw the blonde still laying next to her. Vanjie felt relieved that she hadn’t left. She left the room to check if Silky had gotten back and seen she hadn’t Vanessa went back to her bedroom, hopped on the bed and started gently kissing Brooke until she woke up. They didn’t move for a solid hour. They laid in the bed cuddling, talking, getting to know each other even more.  Suddenly V heard the front door opening. “Shit,” she shot up “Silky is home.”. Brooke just gave her a confused look. “Just stay here and be quiet,” Vanessa said while putting on her robe. Brooke mimed locking her lips and throwing the key away, to that V just smiled and rolled her eyes playfully. She stepped out of her bedroom closing the bedroom door and when she turned around she was startled by Silky standing behind her. “You do know it’s like 1 PM right?” Silky said raising an eyebrow and going over Vanessa in a robe with her eyes. “Yeah I know hoe,” V said tightening the belt “I just felt like sleeping in tonight.”. Silky just shook her head. “Okay whatever, I was actually about to take a shower but I’m out of shampoo can I borrow yours?” V quickly nodded for an answer and watched Silky go to the bathroom. When she went back to her bedroom Brooke had gotten dressed. “I’m sorry about that,” V said looking at the ground. “About?” Brooke asked walking up to Vanessa. “For the way, I reacted. You know like, you know,” V tried to make out a sentence while gesturing with her hands “I just don’t wanna fuck it up.”. Vanessa now looked at Brooke thinking she would storm out of the room. But she didn’t. Instead, she gave V a kiss on the forehead “Neither do I,”.

Vanessa showed Brooke out. She felt like a teenager trying to sneak her girlfriend out of her room so parents wouldn’t find out.

“So who were you fucking and why did you to it in my room?” Silky walked into Vanessas room. “Wha… I didn’t… what?” V acted all confused. “First of all, her shoes were in the living room when I got home,” Silky said grossing her arms “And you didn’t fucking clean up my bed.”

[artificialqueens]

Ease My Mind (Branjie)- athena2

A/N: This is my first time writing Branjie. I was hesitant to write this because I’ve never done them and so many authors do such an amazing job that I didn’t think I could compare to them. But I love these two and wanted to give it a try. Basically, Brooke and Vanjie help each other out when they’re stressed about the challenge. Set during “Dragracadabra”. Like I said, I’ve never written Branjie before, so I apologize if it seems off and I would appreciate any feedback or criticism.

Brooke can’t really believe what he’s about to do. It’s not the first time he’s visited Vanjie’s room, but he feels more and more fearful as the group of girls gets smaller. It’s easier to get caught when there’s so few of them. While there haven’t been any problems so far, Brooke is practically a born worrier and is just waiting for the hammer to fall, for the day when they finally get in trouble for their midnight rendezvous, like a pair of teenagers in a rom-com. But he really needs her tonight.

It’s past midnight and he’s so tired but his brain just won’t let him rest. He keeps wondering if he’s done all that he possibly could to make tomorrow perfect. He worries about the dancing, about letting his team down. The person who he needs to talk to is just down the hall, there for him to see, yet Brooke keeps turning the door handle and then stopping himself. What is he doing? He’s just asking for trouble for him, for Vanjie, for the both of them, but he can’t stop. He opens the door and turns to his right only to crash into some unknown body.

He stumbles back and hears the other person fall on the floor. The hall is dimly lit and he thinks his exhaustion is making his eyes bleary, because he still can’t make out who it is. Then the body exclaims, “Bitch, you better be careful with your Twinkle Toe-ass. You coulda killed me!” and Brooke realizes he has just sent the person he loves crashing to the floor.

He extends an arm to help Vanjie, spitting out a million apologies at once. Apologies are like second nature to him, and sometimes it’s easier to get an I’m sorry past his lips than it is to take a breath.

She hauls herself up, still huffing and puffing, but with a grin on her face and sparkle in her eye that lets him know she’s not mad.

“What the hell are you doing out here, anyway?” Vanjie demands. “Besides steam-rolling drag queens.”

Brooke laughs in spite of himself. But now that Vanjie brings it up, what was she doing in the hallway? “I could ask you the same question,” he says, grinning, wondering how his life has come to flirting in a barely lit hotel hallway at midnight.

“Fine. I was coming to see you. Them hoes are stressing me the hell out and I wanted to see you,” she admits, and Brooke can’t really tell but he thinks she’s blushing. “Back to my question, what are you doing out here?”

He sighs. “I was coming to see you. I’m worried about tomorrow too.”

“Ain’t we something,” she mutters. “Shit, we’re both here now, so we might as well. Let’s go to your room, it’s closer.”

They head to Brooke’s room as he muses that even if he hadn’t been brave enough to open the door himself, Vanjie would have made her way to him. Maybe some force was trying to push them together.

Vanjie is already sprawled across the mattress, face buried in a pillow, when he shuts the door behind them. He sits next to her, placing a hand on her back. He hopes it calms her down, and really it calms him down as well. Just having her here and being able to touch her is enough.

“So what do you want to talk about?” he asks.

“Ugh,” she groans. “I ain’t even a drag queen anymore after tonight, I swear I’m some half-magician, half-writer. Silky and A’keria want to do improv. Yvie wants to write stuff. They’ve been going at it all day. I think Yvie is right but don’t tell the bitch I said that. So anyway, I’ve been trying to write something all night but it’s a pile of garbage. I don’t know what I’m gonna do tomorrow. My ass might as well start packing now,” she sighs.

“Don’t say that!” Brooke begs, surprising himself with his outburst. “I’m sure you’re gonna be fine. I mean, I think whether you write it or not, all of you are good enough to put on a great show. Especially you. And if you do have to lip sync, then you’ll lip sync for your damn life, babe. Either way, you’re gonna turn it out,” he rubs her back as he talks, thinking that he’s calming himself as much as her. Maybe he can convince himself it’ll be alright.

“You’re probably right,” she mumbles. “I just hope it doesn’t come to that. Anyway, what’s got you all worried? I’ve been watching you stress out all day,” she turns herself on her side, facing him, patiently waiting for an answer. He doesn’t think he’s ever seen her so patient as he fumbles for what he wants to say. The worries have been in his head all day but he can’t seem to get them into words.

“I…I’m just worried in general, I guess. I’m afraid my trick will bomb. I don’t want to go home myself, but I think it might be worse if Shuga or Nina have to go home because I fucked up. It’s just…it’s a lot,” that’s only about half the despair and anxiety he actually feels, but if he were to list every worry in his mind they’d be here until the finale. Anxiety not only about himself, but Vanjie too.

“Listen here, Miss Brooke Lynn,” Vanjie sits up suddenly and shoots him a side-eye, and Brooke knows she means business. “You are not gonna fuck up, you hear me? Bitch, you’re one of the best queens I’ve ever seen. Everything you do is amazing. I know you’re gonna worry anyway, but know that you don’t need to. You’re perfect, baby.”

Brooke is grateful he didn’t turn the overhead light on because he doesn’t want Vanjie to see the tears in his eyes. He honestly can’t believe how lucky he is to have her, and he doesn’t want to ever let her go. He takes her hand as if that could keep her beside him forever.

“Th-thank you, babe. And I hope you know I feel the same way about you.”

Brooke leans to his side just as Vanjie does and their lips meet in the middle. Again, Brooke marvels, it’s like some force made them move at the exact same time, like some force wants them to be together. And who is Brooke to argue? He wraps his arms around Vanjie, savoring the kiss as much as he possibly can. Who knows how many more they’ll get? He thinks, but stops. Focus on Vanjie.

Eventually they break apart. “I guess I should go. You know I need my beauty rest. Almost as much as Silky needs hers. Hell, a beauty coma wouldn’t be enough for that bitch,” Vanjie is still reading people to filth at almost 1 am, and Brooke loves her for it. He laughs genuinely for the first time tonight and feels some of the fear lift from him.

“Night, baby,” Vanjie says as she approaches the door. “You get your sleep too. We’re both gonna kill it tomorrow.”

“Of course we are,” Brooke laughs. “Night, baby. Love you.”

“Love you too. Abracadabra, bitch!”

The door closes and Brooke sits in the sudden silence, which feels even more deadening after having Vanjie’s voice fill up the room minutes ago. He gets in the bed, forcing the worries out of his mind and falling asleep to thoughts of Vanjie.

[missjanjie]

Prompt: silky and B heart to heart about V after B had broken up with V. Because silky knows she should be mad at B for breaking V's heart. But damn if it doesn't look like B broke her own heart into a million pieces while doing it in the first place.

you know things are bad when silky is the voice of reason

-

“I don’t know why I let you bring me to that place!” Vanessahuffed as he stormed out of the club with Brooke Lynn jogging behind him. “Whenhave I ever said I’d wanna go to a leather bar?” he huffed, still walkingbriskly ahead of him.

Though being as much taller than Vanessa as he was, it didn’ttake long for Brooke Lynn to catch up. “I didn’t have any reason to believe you’dhave a problem with it! You love going to bars,” he insisted, able to keep onpace with him when he caught up.

Vanessa rolled his eyes. “I don’t like going to bars wherehalf naked, leather twinks are all up on you. I couldn’t even get near you, notthat you noticed,” he muttered, crossing his arms and staring ahead of him,walking faster.

“Come on, baby…” Brooke Lynn groaned, having to catch upwith him again.

“Don’t ‘baby’ me! I asked you three fucking times before weleft if you were gonna be able to lay off the flirting. You couldn’t evenpretend you weren’t into how handsy those bitches were!” Vanessa stopped short,almost causing Brooke to crash into him. “Why do you keep doing this shit tome?”

Brooke Lynn frowned. “I’m not trying to do anything to you.I just wanted to have some fun,” he explained.

“Well I sure hope you did,” Vanessa snapped, storming aheadof him. “And take an uber!”

This was not the last time something like this would happen.They would go out, a fight over something arguably trivial, and go on theirseparate ways. Sometimes Brooke Lynn would walk it off and eventually go backto Vanessa, other times he would go back to the bar to have another couple ofdrinks.

The last week of their relationship was rough, to say theleast. There was at least one fight every day, and they were both exhausted bythe time Brooke Lynn took the harsh, inevitable step and broke up with Vanessa.It killed him, seeing him so hurt and knowing it could have been avoided iftheir wants and needs lined up.

And Brooke Lynn had been doing his best to not seem as hurtby his own decision as Vanessa was – one of them needed to be strong, or theywould fall right back into their old habits. So, instead, they both sulked.Sometimes it would be alone, other times in the company of friends.

“He’s been better,” Silky was telling Brooke Lynn. “But youcan still see when he’s faking a smile, and it just makes your heart ache,” hesighed. “How have you been holding up?”

Brooke Lynn was admittedly surprised by the question – as oneof Vanessa’s best friends, he had assumed Silky would stay steadfast in hiscorner. “I’ve been okay,” he said unconvincingly, staring blankly past him.

“You know it’s okay to be sad, right? I mean, look at me, Ihave never held in a single emotion in my entire life,” he smiled when Brookelaughed at that. “Now come on, talk to the reverend-doctor about your feelings,”he prompted.

“Bad,” Brooke answered. “I feel bad. I feel like an asshole,and yeah, I am sad. But it wouldn’t be fair for me to be sad…I’m the one thatcalled it quits and pushed him away leading up to it. He hasn’t been the samelately. I’ve seen him around looking like a kicked puppy, how am I supposed tofeel knowing I caused that?”

Silky listened intently. “Listen, Vanjie can’t help how sensitivehe is. He always wears his heart on his sleeve, you know that. But you’reallowed to be sad, too. This was as much your relationship as it was his. Thatshit can hurt too,” he told him. “And for the sake of honesty, I don’t thinkeither of you have ever gotten over each other. If it were up to me, I’d tell y’allto try and work this shit out.”

Brooke Lynn sighed and looked down. “I mean, I know you’reright. But I would never forgive myself if I hurt him again.”

“Then just sort your shit out and talk to him.”

Brooke looked over to where Vanessa and A’keria werechatting and sighed. “I will.”

[artificialqueens]

razorback, part 1/2 (branjie) - sheep

an: really all i can say at this point is: oops. warnings for slightly graphic werewolf/panic attack/anxiety descriptions. a part 2 will happen soon hopefully.

—

They meet on a Saturday night when the moon is dark.

Vanessa’s head is spinning with nicotine and tequila, and she’s stepped away from the party for a breath of the night air. Muffled music drones behind her, fading in and out as Vanessa lights a second cigarette, quickly accompanied by drunken singing.

It had taken a great amount of convincing from A’keria for Vanessa to show. More specifically, a twenty minute call on facetime, and many, many reminders that Vanessa had missed the last three parties she’d been invited to. Once A’keria started pouting, and Vanessa realized the date actually matched up with her schedule, she relented.

As if on cue of thought alone, A’keria stumbles out through the back door of the house, visibly hammered; dragging a much taller, much more sober blonde behind her. She lights up when she sees Vanessa, dropping the stranger’s hand and latching onto her instead.

“Vanjie, baby, are you good?” she drawls. Her breath smells like rum but Vanessa laughs, wrapping an arm around the girl’s waist to straighten her out.

“I’m fine. What’s wrong with you?” she sighs. She knows A’keria. She knows A’keria when she’s drunk.

“I’ve got something to show you.”

She reaches blindly behind her until she grabs hold of the unknown girl’s shirt, tugging her forward so she stands beneath the porch light with them.

It’s then that Vanessa really looks at her. Jaw cut from marble. Milky pale skin. Deep, ocean blue eyes that ripple green as Vanessa continues to stare. Her lips are colored a soft, baby pink, and the white of her daisy patterned skirt glows with the stars.

“This is Brooke,” supplies A’keria, slurring her words. “She thinks you’re hot.”

Brooke’s face flushes delicious cherry red, and Vanessa licks her lips. A’keria looks between them and grins sloppily. She spins on her heel, surprising both Vanessa and Brooke by managing to stay upright. She giggles, fumbling with the door handle.

“Get some, baby,” she calls to Vanessa before unceremoniously tripping over the doorstep. She slams the door behind her.

Vanessa dissolves into barking, uproarious laughter before she can stop herself, dropping ash onto her boots as she wheezes. Brooke chuckles too, nerves audible, and takes a larger than average sip of her Palm Bay.

Vanessa takes a drag. “So,” she hums on the exhale, “come lookin’ for a piece of the mysterious Vanjie charm?” She interrupts her own flirting with a coughing fit, hacking up half a lung before turning back to Brooke as if nothing happened.

The girl laughs in earnest, this time, tilting her head back and letting her gorgeous voice ring into the night. “Vanjie charm?” she repeats, flushed and smiling and beautiful. “Is that what they call it?”

Vanessa turns away, taking another long drag and praying that her blush doesn’t show. “That’s what A’keria seems to think,” she flicks the now finished cigarette away, attention fully on Brooke. “Sorry about her, also. One too many shots and she acts like she’s livin’ a sitcom.”

Brooke looks away before smiling. “I’ve noticed. She was looking for you. She seemed really worried, so I offered to help her find you.”

Vanessa’s eyebrows raise, but her voice has the same gravely, questioning tone as always. “Oh,” disappointment pangs in her chest, “yeah, she does that. I left without tellin’ her one time and now she gets all freaked if she can’t find me.” She rubs the back of her neck, suddenly sheepish. She doesn’t mean to meet Brooke’s eyes again, but doesn’t do anything about it when she finds herself staring into them. Brooke seems to be searching her, inviting her into the sea, and Vanessa falls in without a fight.

“I did tell her you were hot, though.”

The water is cool against her skin, and in that moment Vanessa wants nothing more than to swim to the very depths, to let her breath go. Her voice somehow sounds less shocked than she feels, and she attributes it to the shots A’keria had her do earlier in the evening. “So you are here for the Vanjie charm?”

“I suppose I am.” Brooke’s smile is sweet candy and Vanessa wants a taste, but the music inside booms and the sudden drunken chorus of Cascada’s ‘Everytime We Touch,’ causes Brooke to laugh so hard she snorts. Vanessa immediately cackles in response, overjoyed at the sound, and they each take a step closer as they laugh together.

She takes a glance at the moon. Something hopeful warms her chest, and she can tell it isn’t the alcohol. She drifts towards the door, grinning, and holds her hand out to the blonde.

“May I offer you a dance, Brooke?” She tries the name, kisses it with “what if,” and sends it off. Brooke’s hand is soft against her own, and she leads the girl inside with another gruff chuckle. She doesn’t miss the excited glint in Brooke’s eyes.

A’keria uses Brooke as bribery, after the party.

Vanessa loves her friends, she really does. She doesn’t avoid them because wants to. It’s just that the weather is getting cold, and everything gets… harder when the weather is cold.

They’re a week into November now, and Vanessa knows she’ll have to leave again soon. A’keria knows, too, by the sound of it. They’ve been friends for years now, and no matter how many times Vanessa vanishes with the first snowfall, A’keria never seems to get used to it. When temperature starts to drop, she starts inviting Vanessa anywhere and everywhere. The mall, the grocery store, one of their friends’ places. It’s a gamble whether or not Vanessa will accept, but it’s their yearly game.

And this year, A’keria has an advantage. “Come hang out at Silky’s, Brooke will be there,” or “We’re going to a movie. Come with. Brooke will be there.” As ashamed as she is to admit it, Vanessa falls for it every time.The promise of seeing Brooke again before Winter sets in is enough to get her to drag her aching body out of bed, and to to whatever bustling place A’keria summons her to. They always end up sitting together, wherever they are, just talking and drinking each other in until someone breaks them apart with a question or comment.

Today, they’re meeting at a cafe. Her hair is a fluffy, tangled mess, and the scent of everyone else’s breakfast sandwiches is sending Vanessa’s sleep addled brain into a slight frenzy. A’keria waves her over to a table unfortunately bathed in sunshine. Vanessa spots Nina, Silky, and of course, Brooke, sitting with her. They’re all nursing various sugary lattes, save for Brooke who’s drinking some sort of cold brew that looks awfully dark. She smirks, even though A’keria is looking.

“She showed up,” Silky exclaims, drawing a laugh from Nina. She looks to A’keria, and reaches out to grab Brooke’s hand. “You were right, this girl is magic. What’s your secret?”

“Leave her alone, Silk,” Vanessa huffs, shoving the girl’s shoulder and taking the seat beside her. “I came ‘cause I had some free time.” Brooke is watching her and she can tell, but it’s sort of exciting.

Nina wipes some whipped cream from her face before interjecting. “You? Free time? In November?”

Silky laughs her boisterous laugh and says, “Right?”

“Shut up,” Vanessa whines, “I don’t air your dirty laundry in public, why are you fucken’ with me?”

Brooke giggles at the exchange and Vanessa melts a little.

“Because we love you, dear, “ smiles Nina from across the table, and Vanessa grumbles her gratitude for the girl’s motherly tone.

“That, and I want to see you this Christmas.” A’keria’s eyes are suddenly serious and it shakes a nerve somewhere deep in Vanessa’s mind. “You never even text.”

Her fingers twitch against the table, and she ignores the way Brooke’s expressions morphs to one of surprise and cursed, cursed curiosity. Vanessa hates curiosity.

“Not now, A’keria,” her voice is close to a growl, and it startles everyone at the table. Heat rushes beneath her skin. She stews in regret as the silence stretches.

Silky recovers first. “She’s right, though.”

She sinks her canines into her lower lip and struggles not to look at Brooke’s face. “Shut up, Silky.”

“You’re around ‘til Halloween and then, poof, you’re gone.”

Concerned blue fills Vanessa’s tunnel vision. She struggles to breathe in, something carnal fogging her senses. “Shut up,” she whispers, weak.

“And no one hears a word out of you until March,” A’keria joins in, apparently keen on probing for an answer. “It’s ridiculous.”

She’s a word away from panic, reaching for her cigarettes, fearful instinct overtaking her. Everyone’s looking at her, eyes cold and colors mixing into a muddled mess. Another voice, though gentle, is enough to make her snap.

“Where do you go?”

Her voice bursts from her throat in a snarl, and it resembles words in only the vaguest sense. She stands quickly, everyone flinching back from her, and hurries to the door. She didn’t even get to buy a coffee.

She makes it three steps from the entrance when a hand touches her shoulder. She whirls around, unlit cigarette hanging from her mouth, body buzzing. Brooke looks back at her, worry written plain on her face. She’s only in a light sweater and leggings, and the sight brings Vanessa crashing back to earth. Before she can comment, Brooke looks at her with those horrible, lovely eyes of her.

“Please” she breathes, biting back a shiver. “Please don’t go.” She chances another touch, brushing some of Vanessa’s hair from her face. “I’m sorry for asking.”

Vanessa blinks up at her, bones aching with chill, and murmurs, “I’m sorry. I- I…” The words escape her. Her brain is running on overdrive, and she’s split between tucking herself into Brooke’s embrace or running as fast as she can.

The decision is made for her. Brooke pulls her close and the scent of her vanilla perfume is intoxicating. Almost against her own will, Vanessa relaxes.

“Are you really gonna leave?” Brooke asks, her voice is soft, yet heavy with the words, and there’s a sadness to them that Vanessa desperately wants to ignore.

She wants to lie and say maybe. She wants to be stupid and say no. Instead, she pulls the cigarette from her lips and tells the truth. “Yeah,” she rasps.

Brooke hums as if deep in thought, and slowly pulls away, reaching into her pocket to fish out her phone. “Here,” she says simply, “I’ll give you my number.” When Vanessa remains quiet, Brooke tilts her chin up so she’s staring straight into Vanessa’s confused, conflicted soul. “You can talk to me, if you want.”

Vanessa wishes that talking were enough.

They call each other every night.

With each ticking second, pain seeps into Vanessa’s bones like an illness, and she lays in aching, lazy misery for days; subsisting off only microwave meals and Brooke’s voice. Her phone bill is going to be fucked, but she doesn’t really care. She’s going to disappear soon, anyhow. None of it is going to matter until the spring, and the pain makes that feel ages away.

A’keria calls, too, but Vanessa can’t bring herself to go out and see her. Or Nina. Or even Brooke. She just waits in gruelling, visceral anticipation. She waits for the snow to start, for her anxieties to howl away with the blizzarding winds, for her teeth to grow so sharp that nothing can touch her. Her bones shift with yearning. She smokes the rest of her cigarettes within a few hours.  

And, every night as the moon grows, they whisper to each other. Brooke talks about her day, what would be mundane details capturing Vanessa’s attention and taking her mind away from her ails. Through these talks, Vanessa learns a lot about Brooke. For example, she likes dogs. Her family used to own a husky when she was a child, and when Vanessa finds this out, she makes Brooke tell her stories about the dog until she falls asleep.

Brooke likes coffee, too. Vanessa promises to take her out to the cafe, when she gets back. Just the two of them.

“So it’s a date?” Brooke sighs over the phone, her voice a dream, and Vanessa is suddenly very thankful that they aren’t video chatting.

Her face is flushed deep red but she answers, “Hell yeah,” with a conviction that makes them both laugh. She inhales, content, and shatters when Brooke speaks again.

“Where do you go, Vanessa?”

It’s the second time she’s asked, and Vanessa wants so badly to be honest with her. She wants to look her in the eyes and tell her everything. But ‘everything,’ is too ugly, too grotesque to show anyone. The secret burns the tip of her tongue and she whimpers like some pitiful little mutt. “Nowhere.”

“Then come here, love. I’ll text you my address.”

Something inside her breaks. Fat, shameful tears roll down her cheeks, and her spine aches with the despair. “I can’t,” she sobs, barely able to hold the phone. “I can’t.”

Brooke shushes her, tells her to breathe. “It’s snowing,” she murmurs, “look outside, baby.”

Vanessa’s heart drops.

“No, no, no,” she thinks, maybe out loud, and drops the phone.

She rushes towards the window, looking fearfully towards the night sky. It can’t already be the first snowfall. She thought she had a few more days. The full moon taunts her from above, calling her name.

Though that may just be Brooke. Her frantic voice is echoing quietly throughout the room, but Vanessa can barely register her own breathing over the sirens wailing in her head. Her brain dissolves into tiny white flakes and flurries away from her, leaving only biting cold and instinct.

She hangs up the call, looks at her messages, and runs.

She’s soaked with snow and sick with moonlight when she reaches Brooke’s door. She breathes in jagged puffs, an animal in her anxiety. Her body buzzes like pitch-broken glass, and she only knocks once before Brooke swings the door open, glowing bright safety before her bleary eyes.

“Vanessa,” Brooke calls her name in a sweet, scared murmur. Syrup drips thick down Vanessa’s ears, and she sways under the weight, but it instantly makes her feel the smallest bit better than when she’d been walking over here.

She takes a breath to speak, but every word she tries to start fizzles on her tongue, and as her voice gravels into nothing it takes her mind along with it. Then, Brooke’s fingertips are warm against her cheek, and she’s nothing but sticky, liquid sugar in the girl’s hand.

“Do you want to come inside,” Brooke whispers again. It’s not a question. She gently pulls Vanessa in, and the motion seems to startle her back to reality. Her breathing quickens, and the animal instinct creeps along her spine through to her twitching fingers.

Brooke closes the door, and finality of the sound makes Vanessa rabid. Panic rushes hot in her veins, bursting and bubbling beneath her skin, and she’s dying. She’s boiling herself alive, and her brain simmers with the knowledge like spice. Everything rolls and becomes molten. A scalding, soupy mush, and she’s dying. She’s raw and scorched and steaming and-

“Look at me.”

A drop of sweetness. Vanessa opens her eyes.

Brooke looks terrified, but her voice is smooth and steady. “That’s good. Just…” she pauses, swallows, exhales. “Just focus on me and breathe, okay, baby?”

The petname brings Vanessa a final moment of calm, but now that she’s been in the moon and snow, nothing can stop her.

A wet, guttural sort of cracking sound begins to emanate from her skull. She grabs fistfuls of her hair, the bones of her fingers snapping as her grip grows tighter and tighter. Brooke’s syrupy tone has been replaced with undeniable fear, but her words are completely lost on Vanessa as she writhes.

She splutters out apology after apology, deaf to anything Brooke is trying to tell her, and spits blood as her jaw fucking breaks. Brooke screams at the sound, backing away when blood oozes from between Vanessa’s fingers. She screams, too. Her body is breaking itself apart, and blood caked canine ears soon emerge from the gashes in her scalp. Her teeth grow long. Her voice fades into an animal whine. Her claws tear fresh bloody wounds as she drags them down her face, and Brooke can’t say a word.

She covers her ears when Vanessa’s spine begins to twist.

She closes her eyes when Vanessa’s face grimaces itself into a gored mess.

She cries when she feels the ground beneath her shake with Vanessa’s tremors.

Then, there is stillness.